#Like I’m remembering that scene where she goes to the church and is talking to the priest all matter-of-fact

[castielmacleod]

It’s been a hot minute since I watched any spn at all but I’m pretty sure Emily Swallow’s raw charm and screen presence quite literally saved Amara’s character from the depths of writing hell. Do you ever think about what this person was up against. Do you ever think about how bad some of Amara’s lines are. To say nothing at all of the Dean thing. And it’s just like.. how did Amara survive that? How did she become a Good Character not only in her initial season, but then also go on to become something of a fan favourite for just her minor role in s15? I’ll tell you. It’s because Emily got out there in front of the camera in spn s11, and she looked up from her script and said, I am going to say these lines but I am going to tilt my head and make my little faces and add just the right cadence to these words and I am going to create scenes of incredible palpable emotion and I will have her be so alien yet so human at once in faultless balance. I am going to make Amara Supernatural more endearing and sympathetic and dimensional than she could ever be on the page in my hands I will do this if it fucking kills me

#And I love her for it #Amara spn #Honestly s11 Amara reminded me of earlyish seasons Cas in such a charming way #Like I’m remembering that scene where she goes to the church and is talking to the priest all matter-of-fact #Idk I just found her really endearing. I think she also murders a bunch of people in that same episode but that’s ok that’s #an enhancement honestly. #My posts #As a disclaimer I am very much a proud card-carrying member of the Never Hated Amara Gang so I will always back her even in s11 #But if you are someone who didn’t like s11 Amara but enjoyed her in s15. Go back and watch her in s11 again #(If you can stomach rewatching any spn at all that is. Lord knows I cannot) #But go back and watch her and watch her more closely and the little things Ms Swallow adds to her even then. I think you’ll enjoy her more #Idk why I’m having an Amara moment but I am. Meri jaan <3

[dailydegurechaff]

fav light novel only characters? like not animated or drawn in the manga yet

So this has been in my inbox for a couple months now and I think I can finally confidently answer it bc I have a couple of characters who I wanna talk about.

Spoiler warning: Due to this ask being related to characters only seen in the light novel there’s going to be spoilers under the read more! I talk about content as far ahead as novel 11. I think we’re safe on stuff from 12 tho!

If you want a no-spoiler summary: Colonel Calandro (not depicted here), Counselor Conrad, and Major Joachim

OK SO,

I think the main two that I like the most and are LN-Only so far are Colonel Calandro from Ildoa, who is the observer that ends up attached to the Salamander/Lergen Kampfgruppe on the eastern front and Counselor Conrad, the imperial diplomat that Lergen talks with a lot.

In Calandro’s case, he’s introduced I believe as early as book 6, so I think he’s probably the one of my favorites who is most likely to be in season 2, so I hope Studio Nut does well by him with a good design. In the sketches above, I decided against trying to make a design for him because 1) I got no ideas man and 2) I think (hope) he might show up in the anime soon so I’d like to hold off on drawing him until there’s an official one.

Anyway, a lot of his scenes are great when he’s attached to the Kampfgruppe. If I recall correctly, there’s this scene in one of the books (Book 7?) where he’s talking to Tanya as she’s making preparations to bombard what is obviously a church and he’s like “What are you doing? Isn’t that a war crime?” And Tanya just goes “No, no, it’s fine. They’re not openly displaying anywhere that this is a building used for religious purposes and even if they were, the other side hasn’t signed that treaty so it’s not like we have to adhere to it if they won’t.”

It’s such a funny scene. Tanya’s like, “Oh he’s concerned that we’re committing a crime. I should assuage him by telling him not to worry, we’ve managed to legally justify it.” And instead of any relief he’s just like “Oh my god what the fuck is wrong with them? Why would they ever think to circumvent treaties like this?”

They're funny as hell together and Tanya’s constant griping that she has to babysit him is so good, I hope we get to see it.

Also also a good scene with him is from the end of LN11 where Lergen calls him in the middle of the night, demanding to speak to him because it’s of vital importance. That ensuing conversation where Lergen’s basically like “I can’t say who’s calling, but you recognize me from the sound of my voice, right? Something’s going to happen. I’m really sorry, I can’t say anything more. Please just remember that I called, okay?” I’m so sorry… but it’s giving ‘Tragic Lovers Doomed To Breakup By Circumstances They Can’t Control’ vibes.

It is now my firmly set headcanon that Lergen and Calandro were lovers throughout and in spite of the war and when the time came for Lergen to choose whether to betray Calandro or his country, he chose to betray Calandro, something he feels immensely guilty about. I know it isn’t what Carlo Zen was trying to convey at ALL, but unfortunately that’s what I got from it. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, moving on.

I guess next up is Counselor Conrad, the Empire’s diplomat who we first meet in LN10 I think? If we don’t get any content of him, I’ll literally cry. Depending on how far season 2 gets us in the story, we may not end up seeing Conrad and that’s so sad to me. There is a scene from LN10 that I absolutely need adapted into the anime. It’s like 160ish pages in. It’s that scene where Tanya, Lergen, and Conrad are talking with each other and Conrad turns to Lergen and gestures at Tanya and says “How did you raise this?” and Tanya’s like “????”

There is another scene where Lergen describes Conrad as handsome, and because of these two scenes, the delusional headcanon has sprung up that these two eventually end up in a relationship and Tanya is their daughter. I’ve mentioned it in another post. A friend of mine actually talks about Conrad (& Lergen and Tanya) in more detail in her post here. And hey, while I’m recommending posts about Conrad, look at all of these too okay?

Conrad actually has an official design in the novel artworks, so I based my above sketch around that. Here are the few canon images we have of him. Interestingly, in the text he's described as having blue eyes at some point, but the colored version we have has them as brown. These drawings come from Books 10 & 11 I believe?

Ok, last one, for minor characters, there’s Major Joachim who we meet around the end of LN11, who becomes Lergen’s subordinate. I think the best way to describe him is that he’s kind of a boyfailure in the way that Grantz is (that is to say before Grantz got some character development and became somewhat competent). He’s a cutie, I do hope we get some scenes of him.

I did actually do a little sketch of Joachim as we saw above. That one for some reason just came to me very easily, unlike Calandro. Here was my prelim sketch idea:

And I think that’s about it for now. If you note that all of these characters are in some way related to Lergen, um… Well, I can’t help myself really. We know by now he’s one of my favorites so I like characters associated with him too.

#ask #bonus doodle #simplelobster #oh no another rimu ramble lmao #conrad #joachim #youjo senki #the saga of tanya the evil

[ficjoelispunk]

Ch 11 - Love & Hate

You can find all the chapters available here

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A/N: HEY GUYS! I was very anxious for this chapter. I received help from a genuinely kind person, she made the revisions for me and the corrections in this chapter... I’m so grateful, @angelofsmalldeath-codeine you’re amazing. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So, basically this chapter will be more pleasant to the reader, without grammatical errors due to translation. I hope you like it. ❤️

The Cali cartel wouldn't let it slide. They would respond accordingly.

A single slip on a whim was enough. Pablo's mother went to church on Christmas Eve. The Castaño brothers managed to follow her and attack Pablo's family forcing hem to flee.

Pablo would be against attacking. It was just a matter of time. And a war would start on the streets of Medellín. Sooner or later.

You just received a letter informing that Blackie's girlfriend's family had been murdered. It was Christmas Eve. They killed a pregnant woman. Pregnant. Los Pepes acted again.

You asked Trujillo to deliver the letter to Peña. You didn't want to have to see him.

"¿Estás bien?" Trujillo asked.

“I don't want to see this kind of thing anymore..." your eyes were full of tears.

You left the department as fast as you can. You warned Javier that this would get out of control. If you saw him, you would end up losing your mind.

"Esto acaba de llegar" Trujillo delivers the letter to Javier.

He closes his eyes after reading the information. Knowing that you saw that.

"Esto se está saliendo de control, Peña"

Javier runs his fingers down his chin. He reaches for his gun and leaves.

He goes to the crime scene. The place is quiet, just the noise of the team collecting evidence, death scattered throughout the room in the house. All dead. Blood.

***

It was already late at night, you are reading, the dim light of the lamp next to your bed, with a baby pink nightgown, with lace on the hems and neckline.

You hear someone knocking on the door of your accommodation.

You frowned. You hesitated.

Three more beats.

You get up and walk to the door.

Javier Peña, propped up with his big hands on the frame of your door.

You freeze at the sight of him . It takes a few minutes to process, and remember how to speak.

"What are you doing here?"

Javier's eyes dance on your body from head to toe. Seeing you with this night gown falling on the curves of your body was the only thing that could turn off his mind.

"Can I come in?"

"No. What do you want?"

Javier's eyes were deep. And you knew that in addition to the lust that waved at you, he was sadder than indecency.

"Enter"

You turn your face away, letting the air out through your mouth.

"No, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you, and first of all, I'm just doing what you asked me to do"

"I..." Javier hesitates "I just wanted to talk"

You look at him.

"You're stinking of cigarettes and exhaling alcohol from your pores" you try to argue.

Anything not to have him in your room, because you know where it would end.

"Please, it's Christmas"

"So what? Do I look like Mrs Claus or something ?"

Javier stares at you. And you know he wouldn't get out of there if you didn't give in.

You roll your eyes. And pushes the door making room for him to pass.

"Thank you" Javier comes in.

It was stupidly ridiculous how you always ended up doing what he wanted. You close the door, and turn to Javier crossing your arms.

"What do you want to talk about?"

That was a good question.

Javier was watching your room. He walked to the bedside table, reached the book you were reading. Killing time. The last time he was in your dorm you were missing.

The truth is that not even Javier knew exactly what he was doing there. After leaving the crime scene. It was as if his head was connected to yours by an invisible wire, which pulled him to you. He just needed to be with you.

You were like a refuge for him in stressful times and shitty days at work. It was you who could turn off the noise of the world around. You were someone that made him comfortable. He wanted to be with you. He wanted to be part of you.

His legs automatically walked to your door. He didn't know exactly what to say, how to say it, but he wanted to be with you.

He scratched his nose, ran his fingers through his mustache. The hand on his waist, while looking at you.

"I didn't regret it," he said.

You frowned confused.

"What?"

"In the cleaning room, you said I regretted getting involved with you," he explained, "I didn't regret it"

You're froze for a while.

Javier Peña listened to you after all.

His eyes begin to dance on you, your hair stuck in a messy bun at the top of your head, go down your neck, your collarbone, the volume of your tight breasts in your arms crossed in front of your body. The curve of your hip contrasting with your waist. Your bare legs.

Javier runs his tongue through his lips. You were mouth-watering. He looked at you with devotion.

You blink a few times trying to concentrate.

"And what does that mean?"

Javier sighs.

"I just didn't want you to think you didn't mean anything to me. Because..." he hesitates "you do mean something to me”

What was going on?

"Look, Javier, I don't want you to think that just because we have sex you owe me something. I just want you to respect me"

"I respect you"

"You avoid me, and pretend I'm invisible if I arrive too fast not giving you a chance of you running away at the first opportunity"

Javier closes his eyes, and presses his fingers over them.

You were right. From the moment he realized the effects you had on him. From the moment he realized that he didn't want to and couldn't get involved with another woman, no matter how much he tried. That if he was with another woman, it was you he was thinking of .

An idiotic defense mechanism began to whistle and take control of his attitudes towards you. Out of fear. Afraid of what he was feeling.

"I'm sorry" Javier's voice was low and low.

You frowned again, tilting your body slightly forward towards him.

"Who are you? And what did you do with Javier Peña?"

He smiles blandly.

"I'm serious," he stares at you.

You sigh.

“You're sorry, Javier, you don't owe me anything”

He nods. And he stays silent for a while. Making you anxious. Uncomfortable. You didn't know what to expect.

"Where do you intend to go with this conversation?"

"I don't know what I'm doing, but the only thing I know for sure is that I'd like to be with you, I'd like to be good to you"

"So you want to be with me, be good to me, telling me to disappear? I can't understand you"

"I just wanted to keep you away..."

Your mouth opens in surprise, Javier was talking about feelings, obviously the effect of alcohol.

"Well, then, congratulations, you did it"

"I don't want to hurt you"

"Javier, I'm already hurt, mentally and physically"

He stared at you, frowning. There was silence for a while.

Slowly Javier begins to walk towards you.

His big and firm hands sliding through the greeting of your arms.

You drown into the puppy's eyes as he stares at you. He approaches by reducing the distance between you.

"I tried to ignore it. Pretend it was just an attraction. But nobody’s made me feel that way..."

Javier's fingers slide the strap of your night gown down your shoulders. Chills run through your body. You are unable to move.

"Nothing has this effect you have on me"

Javier's fingers slid smoothly along the contour of your face.

"Javier, you just want sex" you held his fists.

"Maybe. But I want it with you, only you"

You feel a knot in your stomach, it seemed like you were being hit by something right in the middle of your chest.

"You're drunk"

"I'm telling the truth"

You looked at him over his eyelashes.

"You made me sad, you wanted to make me sad, you left me alone" your voice was a whisper.

Javier slides his fingers into the curve of your breasts, your hardened nipples mark the fabric of your nightgown, you feel your mound throbbing.

"I'm sorry"

His fingers come down sliding your breast and you stiffen. Close your eyes.

"You only look for me when you need to forget the shit you're doing" you hesitate when you no longer feel his fingers caressing your body, opening your eyes.

"You make me feel good" he holds your chin.

"Where do you want to go with this?"

You weren't able to process what was happening. The things Javier was talking about. What was the point of that?

Javier leans over you towards your lips. Warm hands around your face, you close your eyes. Your noses leaning against each other.

"I want you" he whispers.

Your breathing is irregular. Your head seems to be foggy. Nothing is clear. It's all messed up.

You put your hands on his chest, trying to get some kind of control over him.

"You just want a distraction from your problems" your lips were so close that you felt the pinching of Javier's mustache on your skin.

He shook his head.

"No..." he walks away so he can look at you "When it's over, I always want to leave. But with you..." he hesitates, studying your face "with you, I want to stay"

Your stomach drops. The blood seems to have been drained from your body. You're silent for a while.

What was that? A Christmas miracle?

"Javi..." You close your eyes and shake your head, trying to organize the thoughts "this is not right"

"Look at me" he tries to hold your face in his hands .

You bite your lips. Javier's smell was like some kind of drug, a psychoactive made especially for you.

"Please..." was almost a whisper.

You obey.

"I'm telling you the truth. I tried to deny it, but..." he tries to find the words, his eyes dancing between your mouth and your eyes "I can't..."

You hold his fists again, around your face.

"You make things difficult for me, doing the wrong things, acting recklessly, without thinking about the consequences, being a total asshole..."

He interrupts you.

"I can solve this" he frowned.

You release the breath you didn’t know you were holding. .

"You can, but are you going to?"

Javier’s hand grabs your waist, pulling his body against yours hot, big, hard, you feel his cock already hard behind the jeans.

His eyes darkened with desire, hunger, with all the things he wants to do with you, half-closed.

"Yes," he murmurs, moving your hair out of the way, moving to your neck.

"Yes?" You repeat more than you really ask.

"Yes" he whispered in his ear.

You don't need much convincing, you easily lose all the determination, in fact, very little determination you left when trying to stay away from Javier Peña. Your mind totally goes blank at the touch of his soft lips on your neck. Feeling his heavy breath on your skin.

His hands reach for your back, pulling you as close as possible. Your pussy clenches around nothing.

There you were, the lust and desire, the two pillars of your relationship.

Javier's mouth runs down your neck slightly while the other hand slides down the fabric of your nightgown, you do not resist. You just feel a tingling heat radiating on your stomach.

The fabric of your clothes slipping down your body releases your breasts, leaving them naked, exposed. Javier's fingers smoothly ghosting over your nipple, your body stiffens. His warm hand massaging your breasts.

"You're beautiful” he whispers.

Javi keeps nipping down till he reaches your breasts and takes a nipple in his mouth. Your hands quickly reach for Javier's hair. His tongue dances softly over your perked up nipple, you let out a satisfying moan down your throat.

He knelt down, and slid the rest of the fabric of your night gown off your body, pooling it on the floor around your feet. You are naked in front of Javier as he is kneeling.

He looks at you with devotion. His hands holding your waist firmly, his fingers sinking into your flesh.

"You're like a Victorian painting" his tone is almost like worship. He draws a path of soft kisses down your stomach. Working his way down.

Your fingers slide through his soft hair. His hands move from your waist to grab your ass.

There was no turning back. You would let him do whatever he wanted to you. You are pliable to his will. Completely surrendered. Javier was the first man who made you feel this way.

Javier inhaled your scent while the roughness of his mustache contrasted on your soft skin. His lips found their pile, you grasp for air with an open mouth.

"Let's go to bed" you manage to say.

Javier stands up, his eyes hooded and dark with desire, trained on you, overflowing with sire. You take off his jacket, sliding over his broad shoulders and unbutton his shirt, both ending on the floor. Your hands go down Javier's defined chest, sending chills through his body, making him twitch, your fingers make their way down until they reach the waistband of his jeans.

Javier kisses your forehead, tilts his head to the side, to fit your lips into his, pressing a warm and firm kiss. You unbutton his jeans and undo the zipper.

You trail down Javier’s abdomen with soft kisses until you reach his underwear, quickly removing it. His cock is hard when it springs free, it’s leaking precum already. You removed his jeans and underwear with a swift movement. You get on your knees with your gaze trained in him.

Your hands hold the base of Javier's cock, you open your mouth, without breaking eye contact with him, you put the head of his cock in your mouth, wrapping your lips around him.

"Fuck" Javier was panting.

You could see his chest go up and down fast. You started sucking, lowering your lips along his length, until you felt his head in your throat, your hands held his leg, and you started working his shaft with your lips. Javier's hands went to your hair, holding it between his fingers. Your tongue began to curl around him, pressing his length, as you moved your lips, his hands began to pull your head, you increased the pace, but he pulled your hair, taking your mouth out of him.

Javier threw his head back.

"Fuck, babe! You're so good to me..." he was panting "I don't want it to end like this"

Javi pulled you up, passing through your waist, go down to your ass, to the back of your thigh, lifting your body to be on your lap, your two legs cross around Javier's waist, as he walks to the edge of your bed, putting a knee on it, and leaning to lie down.

You crawl to the middle of the bed, and open up to him. He positions his shoulders behind your thighs, his hands on the pulp of your ass, while looking at your pussy shining at him.

"Hermosa" he mumbles

You lean on your elbows, watching Javier bite his lips, and leaning over to prove you.

He moans as he dips his tongue into you, feeling your warmth and its bittersweet taste, his fingers open you to him, before you feel his tongue sliding once again to your rigid and tensioned clit, making your body spasm with the contact. Shivering. Your head falls backwards.

Your hands stick on the sheet under you, while Javier's tongue works in your middle, making your body squirm in response.

His hands firm on your hip, in an attempt to keep you still, you whine, Javi presses his lips around your clit sucking it the heat of his mouth, his tongue on you. He was eating you as if it were his favorite meal.

"Javi..." your hands ran through his hair.

Javier is looking at you, his eyes narrow, watching your mouth open as your back begins to form an arch, he circles your clitoris with his tongue, and slides two fingers into you, working together in tandem with his tongue.

Your hip starts to move back and forth on his face. It was Javier Peña, and he knew exactly what to do with you. His fingers are dexterous, reaching the place he knows makes your breath. You turn your head to the side in an attempt to drown out your moans in bed. While Javier reaches the sp spot inside you that he knows makes you melt.

You don't take off and you are soon swinging on your thighs around Javier's head, you tremble and he knows you're close. You cum with a strangled moan, the wave of pleasure that radiates through your body, your pussy squeezing Javier's fingers, your goes dark.

His hands caressed your stomach with a slight pressure, calming you as you come do your high , he feels your body relaxed on the bed, his lips kiss the inside of your thigh.

As soon as your breathing stabilizes, Javier holds his cock, writhing when he sees you melted for him.

He was beautiful under the yellow light of your lamp. The pink tip dripping precum, the thick vein of his length, Javier leans over to kiss you, as you feel his weight on your body, skin with skin, so for the first time, lying down, naked bodies on a bed.

A warm, soft, needy kiss, his tongue licking into your mouth, you feel your taste on his tongue.

You around his waist, holding him into you. Your hips moving in a desperate attempt to slide his cock into you.

"Easy, babe," he smiles, bringing his hand to guide him to your entrance as you lift your head to watch him.

But Javier slides into you, sinking his cock, in your tight heat, until his body was totally over you, your hips together, your pussy throbbing.

He moves his lips a sharing ing at you, his heavy breaths, sharing the same air, you run your fingers through his hair, caressing, Javier closes his eyes, feeling your affection, you two seemed to be one , his nose brushed yours , you felt his cock writhing inside you.

"Javi, please" your hip moves looking for him. Wishing for something, you were sore, desperate for him to possess you.

"Please, what?" He murmured over his lips.

"I need to feel you..."

Javier touches his forehead against yours, and somehow he pressed painfully deeper on you, and retreated, slowly, redoing the path, you moved your hip, in his rhythm, he began to sink into you more firmly, opening you to him, building your orgasm at a painful and electrifying pace. You feel your hips meet with his obscene noises.

You throw your head back sighing with your lips open. Your hands pull his body, your legs hold around him, all so that he is as close as you can manage to.

Your pussy clenches Javier's cock, while he makes his way inside you. As much as this is not the first time you feel his cock sink into you, you are sure you won't get used to how big and thick he is.

"Fuck, babe" he murmurs between your neck "it looks like you were made for me"

And it was real, you moved as if you knew where you needed to be, hands, lips, legs, the heat and weight of Javier's body on top of yours, it was intoxicating, and the more you had, the more you wanted, it was a hunger that did not go away.

You moan, unable to find words, while your room is filled with heat and dizzying noises.

Javier's cock hitting deep inside you, reaching places you didn't know could be reached, making you feel the pressure forming again in your core, ready to cum for the second time for him.

This time you feel Javier more cautious, a gentle caution that borders on affection and need.

It is difficult for him to hold on when he is inside you, the path to his release is so short and satisfying that being inside you becomes a torture so that he does not cum so fast.

He feels you squeeze around him. Javier slides completely out of you, leaving your pussy throbbing with desire.

You're whining.

He turns you on your back and bring your hips up. You open your legs so that it stays around his knees. He is squeezing your ass.

"This is certainly the vision of paradise," he murmurs, as he pushes his head to the mattress, leaving you prancing for him.

And he pushes his cock into you slowly getting used to this new angle.

"Goddammit.." he says with gritted teeth. If it was difficult before, now it was much more.

The position left free access to Javier's cock, and he could get deeper into you. He could perfectly see your pussy swallowing his cock, while grabbing your ass perfectly pulling you against him.

You took a deep breath when you felt it hit your cervix. The noise of both your hips when he pushed so deep into you, that you became one. Your hand slides to your clitoris, touching yourself as he moves his hip with obscene sounds.

You start to move too, chasing your orgasm. Javier gets paralyzed when you start rolling in front of him with his cock inside you.

"Fuck, hermosa, that's..." he releases the air, without words. "I love feeling you like this..." he was panting "you're going to cum, just relax baby, let go"

He moans almost a cry of adoration, when he feels your pussy squeezing his co as you moan his name desperately, cumming on his cock.

"Yeah, cariño, that’s it" Javier's hands go down your spine, while your body suffers from pleasure. And he can't hold back any longer, he pressed himself into you, holding his cock as deep as possible, faltering over your impulses, you feel him swell and pulse inside you, with a primitive and animalistic sound behind you, whispend filled y dripped down your leg.

Your vision has darkened, with so much pleasure, and how his orgasm drains your energy. As soon as you realize that Javier's pulse has calmed down, his legs slide down the bed. Javier slips out of you with a moan.

His hands slip down your leg collecting what leaked from your pussy, his fingers pushing inside you. You moan. Just opening your leg to give access to his fingers.

Next to you, Javier slides two of his fingers back into you, you are oversensitive after two orgasms.

"You want more" he kisses your shoulder.

You shake your head. Unable to do anything else.

"Mhmmm" overwhelmed.

The sensitivity makes it easier, you are smooth with him dripping from you, then Javier inserts his third finger, making you moan an even more pleasurable song to his ears.

"You get one more babe..." he encourages when he feels your needy pussy squeezing around his fingers again “just relax and give me one more Hermosa”

He kisses your back, your shoulders...

So tight, sucking his fingers, that they writhe inside you to get to the point where he knows it makes you see stars. You chase his fingers with your ass up.

"Relax cariño, just relax and come for me, I know you can" he says in your ear.

It doesn't take long for your body to start squeezing in hard spasms, you release the air through your mouth in worship. The third orgasm passing through your body, leaving you seeing white.

"Javi..."

He chases your orgasm, until he stops feeling your body shaking.

Javier lies next to you, he puts his arm under your head. His fingers fixing your hair. You are jelly, Javier needs to pull your body, completely soft with pleasure.

He kisses your forehead.

"Merry Christmas, babe" he speaks softly, while fixing his body pressed to your body.

You didn't know it was possible to achieve this level of pleasure. He was the first to get it out of you. He was the only one who could do it.

Your head on his chest, the smell of Javier clouding your mind, still troubled by orgasms. Your breaths calming down, together. Javier's fingers sliding down your spine.

"What do you want from me, Javi?" You murmur, your lips slipping the warm skin of his body, leaving a kiss on his chest, sighing.

Javi is silent for a while.

"Is it just sex for you?" He asks.

It takes you some time to process. Javi feels like you've been frozen.

"Why are you asking me that?"

He shrugged.

"I want to know how you feel"

What if you said something wrong and he just disappeared?

You two were adults. The truth will always be your choice. If he can't handle it. May he get better.

"I..." hesitates "I don't know, at first yes, but..." you get up, supporting your elbow next to him on the bed, he "is it just sex for you?" You repeat the question to him.

He smiles, releasing the air through his nose. Javier looks at you, and passes a stir of your hair behind your ear, his fingers sliding down your jaw.

"That's what we just did. It's definitely not just sex"

You blink at him. Running your eyes for his peaceful expression after sex. So, here and now, his face was clear, without expression marks, the crease on his forehead, always apparent, disappeared.

Your hand over to hold his face, and caress him with your thumb, your chin rests on his chest.

"What are we going to do?"

Javier's fingers caress his hair.

"I want you" he speaks softly, as if it were a secret.

"Javi..."

You knew he was a man of several women. You've never seen him date anyone. Don't even take anyone seriously. Which way was he trying to go?

"No, cariño, I thought I would never find someone like that, for me, but you've been here all this time. I know I'm an idiot most of the time, but I can't excuses when we just made love as if we were going to merge our bodies into each other."

Make love. The day has comd when you heard Javier Peña say he makes love.

You smile. Without being able to hide it.

"What is it?" He smiles too.

"You're messing with hard drugs" you remember the day he said he didn't love.

He smiles, and pulls you up, so he can be close to your mouth. The fact that you are warmed by a strangely contagious happiness is too much to hide, to contain. You tried to deny yourself, keeping busy as long as you can so as not to think how much you wan all Javier Peña for youself.

And now he was there, delivered like a Greek god to his beloved human, in your bed.

His eyes study you. You press a soft kiss on his lips. While you run your fingers through his hair.

"I would do anything for you, I know I can be good for you," he murmurs on your lips.

"You are a good man, Javi"

"Come here" he opens his arms, offering you his chest for you to lie down "can I stay?" He asks.

"Yes" you settle in his body, intertwining your legs in him.

***

You wake up before Javier. He looked peaceful, sleeping like a baby. He was so big that your bed was too small for him.

You got away of him slowly so as not to wake him up. You always woke up earlier and arrived earlier, he could sleep longer if he wanted to, you didn't want to wake him up.

You took the opportunity to observe him lying on your bed, to keep it in your memory. That was one of the best nights of your life. You already slept together, but now it was another scenario. You bit your thumb between your teeth, remembering how he spoke to you yesterday, each word a blow to your heart surrendered to Javier.

You hear a noise on the floor, and startles in a fright. Running your eyes on the floor, looking for the sound, as fast as you can.

Coming from the clothes you discarded the night before, you move the floor, quickly in the hope of not waking up Javier.

It was his cell phone ringing.

"Peña" you say, still crouching on the floor, without worrying what they would think with you answering his phone at the first hour of the day.

"It's Don Berna"

You freeze, your legs softened. Your stomach fell.

Don Berna. You heard that name. You met this man. He was responsible for your kidnapping.

"I need to discuss business with Peña, is he there?"

You're still on the floor. The heart racing.

Javier sat on the bed looking at you, sleepy. He gestures asking who it was.

Watch your hand falling slowly holding the phone.

Javier noticed your expression as if you had seen a ghost, pale, you are crouched on the floor. Your mouth slightly open.

He frowned. And he gets up, reaching for his pants on the floor putting them on, as he walks to you.

He reaches for the phone in your hand.

"Peña"

"It's me, Berna, I need to talk to you"

Javier hangs up immediately. He presses his lips in a thin he. Now he understands the reason for your shock. He kneels down to reach you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

"Don't touch me" you push his hand.

It was as if Javier's touch burned your skin. His eyes were snapped.

Did you know that Javier was involved with Los Pepes, some cartel, some drug trafficker enemy of Pablo, could turn a blind eye to it, because although they are an unscrupulous group, and knowing that this could trigger a disaster, they were after Pablo Escobar.

But Javier and Don Berna? No. Not him. This man kidnapped you. He left you 9 days in the hands of disgusting creatures. Taking you to extremes of fatigue. Fears. Traumas. There was no way you could get over it. The simple memory of what you went through, awakened what was worst in you. You feel betrayed.

They tried to rape you and Javier was meeting the man who threw you in the lion's den?

Your hands cover your body, as if Javier wasn't in you the night before. You reach for your nightgown on the floor.

"Cariño, I can explain"

"Don't call me that."

You couldn't breathe. Just dress as fast as you can and run to the other side of the bed.

Javi gets up as soon as he sees you basically running from him.

He tries to reach you.

You back off. Your arms wrapped around your body.

"Are you afraid of me?"

"Shouldn't I? Are you doing business with the man who kidnapped me, what do you want me to do?"

"No..." Javier shakes his head, keeps the tone low, patient.

"Did you participate in this? Did you have any involvement with my kidnapping? Did you offer me in exchange for information?"

Javier froze with your assumptions.

"What?" He frowned "no! Of course not, I never..."

"So what is it? Do you know where he is and are you going to arrest him?" You're a little hysterical.

"Listen to me"

"No" you're in denial "I can't believe you... how could I be so stupid? You used me..." you were sobbing, and you're not sure when it started.

"What? Babe, please…" Javi was surprised "No... I don't..." Javier advanced towards you, but you retreated until you were leaning against the wall.

"Stay away from me"

"Babe..." he seemed to feel some pain.

"Is that what I was for you? A fucking currency of exchange for information. That's why you didn't give me access to the files... everything makes sense!" You had your hands on your head while squeezing your body, as if you wanted to get rid of your skin. "How can you?" You stared at Javier, continuing with your daydream.

He was perplexed. He didn't know if he was sad that you found out like this. Or because you make these assumptions of him. He would never use you.

"Get out" you point to the door.

"No. You need to listen to me" he walks up to you, stretches his hands in front of his desperate body "please believe me or not, I would never negotiate you for information, never..."

"So you're going to arrest him? Are you going to turn him in?" Tears flowed down your face.

Javier feels desperate.

"Babe, IIt's not like that, you know, I can't..." he murmurs.

You smile ironically, looking at the ceiling. Sticking your nails to your arms.

You walk to the pile of clothes on the floor, reach for his shirt on the floor, and throw it to him.

"I’m not your babe. Get. Out."

"No, we can't stay like this, I would never do something like this to you, please, you need to believe me..."

"I trusted you" you were inconsolable sobbing "I trusted you and you used me..." you couldn't finish

Javier shook and advances holding you in his hug, you try to let go but you can't.

"Please babe, I'll never..."

You push his chest hard.

"Don't touch me!" You screamed. Wiping your tears with the back of your hand, your breath, trying to get back together "How could I be with you when you're working and cofor ng up for the man who kidnapped me?"

Javier looks away.

"Is that how you want to be good to me? Getting involved with the man who locked me in a room, leaving me there to be raped by the son’s of the cartel bosses?"

Javier shook his head. Prosecuting. You were right. He put on his shirt. His body was sore, tense. He felt an eagerness to do something but there was nothing he could say or do to fix it. He walks reluctantly to the door.

"Sorry," he says, and leaves his room. Martyring yourself.

You feel tears of anger and pain running down your face.

Stupid!

With Javier it was like that. You went from 0 to 100 in seconds. From love to hate.

***

You meet a man when you mess with his family. And Pablo Escobar was capable of hatred, revenge and terror.

How could he not directly attack the Cali Cartel, after attacking his family. He attacked the legitimate business of the Cartel. Gilberto Rodrigues was smart, and used a network of pharmacies to launder the money from the traffic. Escoba the buildings sending whoever was nearby into the air. There were dozens of explosions around the city.

People were terrified. He was sending a direct message to the government. If we continued to ignore the actions of Los Pepes. We would suffer the consequences.

Terror attracts terror. And Los Pepes responded accordingly.

What was the purpose of all that? It was hell on earth.

Javier pulled the chair to sit at the usual table that Don Berna used, in the same cafeteria they were in.

"I won't collaborate with you anymore," he murmured.

"Didn't you like something we did?"

"From the killing of innocent civilians, to begin with"

"I don't decide whether they are innocent or guilty, that's for the priests, right?"

Javier leans over the table.

"The Castaños are getting more and more crazy. That wasn't the plan"

"But it's working"

"Not if I stop giving you information"

"Your girlfriend doesn't want to help us anymore, is that it?"

Javier hit the table.

"She has nothing to do with it, she never participated in anything"

"I can talk to her if that's the case"

Javier got up, pointing the indicator to Don Berna.

"Don't go near her! Stay away from her. Can you hear me?"

"All right Peña, let's do the following..."

Javier knew you were right from the beginning. But seeing his co-workers being punished, and dying because of Pablo Escobar, and nothing happened, left him blind for revenge.

He wanted Pablo to pay. That justice be done by him, or by whoever was willing to fight against drug trafficking. And unfortunately it happened to be just the man who kidnapped you.

Javier went there with his mind made up. It had to end. He couldn't risk losing you, now that he had finally found you. Now that he knew you could only be his. There would be no room for anything else if it weren't for you.

But Don Berna was quick.

"I don't agree with the Castaño methods, but Pablo's men are hidden like rats. They're scared. Including Pablo's lawyer, my men attacked him with an automatic machine gun, and these kids didn't hit any shots, can you believe it? I need you to help me find him, so Pablo doesn't have a spokesperson. And we're done with that, you help me and I guarantee your girlfriend will be safe."

It would be the last thing he would do. And then he'd be out.

Javier asked Edward through Central Spike to track down Fernando Duque, Pablo's lawyer.

Edward requested the requirements, but Javier passed over you, the authorizations of Messina and the Ambassador.

Pablo's family tried to leave the country. The government couldn't stop them from leaving. But Pablo had a bad past with the airline. When he blew up a plane in the air in the past. And the company made sure everyone knew that the family was trying to take off.

You had to go to Bogotá urgently. A meeting was called with the president of Colombia, ambassador Crosby and Messina.

The president reported that Escobar bought 8 tickets to different places in the world on behalf of the family.

"We need to keep them in Colombia," Crosby said.

Legally there was no way to prevent them from leaving the country. But with the right support, they would not be accepted in other countries.

Your job was to contact all eight possible destinations of the family, and negotiate requesting support so that the family would not disembark. With the family in Colombia, Escobar would have to be cautious, and this was an asset that you could not lose.

You called the DEA agents, and prayed that Javier wouldn't answer.

With all this turmoil, you didn't have time to think much about things with Javier. And you were deeply grateful for the massive amount of work occupying you to be disturbed by the affective memories of the last night they had together.

The worst thing was that Javier's smell was still on your bed, on your pillows, on your sheets. It was difficult when you were so submerged in the deep sea that it was Javier Peña, and everything he caused in your body. At the same time, he was the person who supported and incited by giving the information to a group of vigilante assassins, in partnership with a cartel that kidnapped you and made you wish death, to continue living in the conditions in which you stayed for days.

Murphy answered the phone.

Thank God.

"I need you to get your passport and go to the airport. Escobar's family will try to leave the country, and I need you to follow them, wherever they go."

"Yes, when?"

"Now."

Javier was worried about studying the tension of his partner's body. He knew you were in Bogotá, it was already a nuisance not to have you where his eyes reached, and seeing the way Murphy looked, anxiety took over his body.

"And, Murphy?"

"Yes?"

"Don't tell anyone. Anyone. Did you hear me? Nobody. Do you understand?"

Yes. Murphy understood. He couldn't even talk to his own partner. Since he was an informant. And it wasn't more reliable.

"Who was it?" Javier asked.

Murphy said your name, as he reached for the coat to go out, and picked up his passport in the drawer.

"Where are you going?"

" Out" Murphy was already going up the stairs.

"With your passport?"

"Yes"

"Are you just going to say that?"

"Yes"

And he disappeared.

TAG: @harriedandharassed

#pedro pascal #narcos #narcos fanfiction #javier pena x y/n #javier pena fluff #javier pena x you #javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #javier pena fanfiction #javier pena imagine #javier pena fic #javier pena narcos #javier peña

[inseparableduo]

Part 1

“- So then I just turned off the movie and went to sleep.” Janne sighed. 

“Oh yeah, that’s… wow.” Jenny responded. Clearly not at all listening to anything he just said. 

Janne doesn’t notice at first. Too busy venting about the shitty movie he saw last night. Eventually, he does get frustrated with her half-assed answers and sad voice.

“Am I boring you?” Janne asks genuinely. Putting aside his anger for a second. 

“What? No, it’s just like… I’m exhausted from yesterday.”

“Yeah, that was like an anomaly, Holy shit.” Janne said, thinking back about yesterday. Who knew they would walk into an active crime scene yesterday after dropping off Alex’s pizza. Well, at least the lie of filming porn was convincing enough for the police to leave.

“Was it? Or the week before that, or the week before that - - Why do our lives have to be so fucking eventful?” Jennifer’s voice started to rise as she spoke. Not at all trying to hide her anger as she mentally thought of all the bullshit they’ve been through lately. 

“That’s a legit question, shit…

Do you believe in God?” He asked, almost absently.

“Do you?” Jenny questioned back, still annoyed thinking back on yesterday.

“No.”

“Me neither… You don’t think-”

“We are not going to church.” Janne quickly cut her off. It’s then that his phone goes off. He looks down and sees an unknown number. 

“Don’t know that number, wonder who that is.” He mused to himself.

“Let me guess. Bomb threat, rapist murder guy oh my god…” Jenny replied in a fake horror but overall bored voice and rolled her eyes. 

Janne then answers the phone and puts it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Hello this is the —------ correctional holding facility.”

“I knew it.”

“You have a collect phone call from…”

“Janne answer the fucking phone it’s your brother.”

“To accept these chargers press 1.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Janne sighed before pressing 1.

“Janne. Why isn’t mom picking up her phone?”

“I don’t know? Call her up and ask her.” 

“God. You both are so fucking dumb.” Jenny then scoffs.

“Ok. See you later, byeeee.” Janne then went to end the call only to be interrupted.

“Wait. Wait. Is that Jenny?”

“Yeah… why?”

“I met someone in here who wants to talk to her. Hold on a sec, ok?”

“Oh my god.” Jennifer spoke up, just a tiny bit scared. Last she checked, she didn't know anyone in jail.

“... This is gonna be a really expensive phone call.” Janne sighed. 

“Uh hello?”

“Uh, who dis?” Janne questioned.

“It’s me Kyle?”

“Kyle who?” Jennifer spoke up. Not having the slightest clue to who it was.

“We were at the barcade yesterday, remember?”

“Oh shit… yeah?” She replied. Her voice still a little confused. Where the fuck was this going?

“So I thought it over, and I killed my mom… So you guys wanna go out in 10 years when they let me out?”

“Uh… Yeah I don’t know.”

“Aw come on! You promised! You can’t back out now.” Kyle yelled over the phone. “What do you think, Janne?”

“I’m thinking how the fuck are you getting out in 10 years.”

“You wanna hear how I killed her? Would that turn you guys on?”

“Would it?” Janne thought out loud as he tilted his head and looked up. He was genuinely considering it.

“What the fuck! Hang up!” Jennifer whisper shouted to him.

“YOU SAID YOU’D BE ALL MINE! ALL MINE!”

Kyle shouted over the phone and Janne then finally hung up. 

“That was cool.”

“I’ve never felt worse in my life.” Jennifer said, bringing a hand to cover her mouth as she felt light-headed. 

“Dude, don’t worry about it. The fact he followed through means his mom was probably a total bitch anyway.” Janne said, calmly. Unlike his best friend, he wasn’t at all affected by what just happened. Despite it being his idea to begin with anyway. 

“I guess that’s possible.” Jennifer said, now just resting a finger on her lips. 

“And look at the bright side, he killed her for you. You’re technically the hottest girl in school now.”

“You’re kinda right.” She smiled.

“Yeah, they might even make a lifetime movie about this. Who do you think should play you?”

“Um… I don’t know.” She then flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I’ll think it over in class. You coming today?” 

“Yeah.”

#drabble #please like if you read <3

[tallmadgeandtea]

SS&SP Drabble: Homeward Bound

Hello, everyone, and Happy Easter or Passover or just a regular Sunday! I thought I’d share a little scene I’ve had sitting in my notes app today, as a gift and an apology for the incredibly long wait for the next chapter! With college and transferring and research project my life has just *explodes.* Anyway, here it is! Benjamin and Elizabeth have their most intimate conversations right before she goes home, which I think is interesting. Perhaps it’s their way of unwinding after a day full of supply talk and dealing with Congress’ bullshit and Hamilton being Hamilton (I say this with love.) Enjoy, and thanks for sporting me and SS&SP!

“Is it true, Major Tallmadge?”

“Is what true, Miss Walker?”

“My father-“ she began, remembering the look on their faces whenever she brought him up, the flashes of disdain and resentment. Did she have any? “He always said New York had too many Tories and not enough Patriots. Said it was more divided than Pennsylvania could ever be- which seems impossible now that I know- now that I’ve seen it.”

Benjamin let out a soft whistle between his teeth. “I don’t want to agree with your father. He seems to assume rather than know.”

“Believe me, I learned that quickly.” She never wanted to leave him to be exposed vulnerable, alone. “He promises rather than acts, too.”

“But it- it’s complicated.” His fingers fell back onto the map, his gaze gone for a second, before he spoke again, “Do you remember where I’m from?”

“Setauket?”

He smiled, that wistful, sad smile- torn and frayed, a hint of defeat. “There’s a troop of British soldiers quartered there. No, not quartered- occupying. Ruling.”

Her heart dropped as soon as he said it, her stomach turned when she glanced down and saw where his fingers were- tracing the Long Island coast, subconsciously showing it to her.

“They- they turned my father’s church into a stable. Terrorize the citizens. They don’t respect them- they hate them-“ he inhaled a sharp breath, “they want them to suffer.”

“And there was nothing you could do,” she said.

Just like there was nothing anyone could do when the British burned the valley. When she saw the smoke from her window, all she did was stay inside, trying to hide instead of fight.

“I tried. I tried, Miss Walker.” His eyes met hers- did they match the color of the sound? She never stood at the edge of the shore, so close to the fathomless deep. “Do not doubt that for a second, I tried.”

“I know you did, Major. As you did at Brandywine, and Germantown, for Philadelphia.”

She rested her hand on the table— silence laid over the wood, the maps underneath their palms, their homes written in ink.

“I hate that living in an area they destroyed is something we have in common, Major Tallmadge. I’m so sorry about Setauket.”

He shook his head, as if it would solve and dispel his troubling thoughts. It never works for me. “Tis alright, Miss. It makes us work harder.” He said.

“It makes us fight for what we believe in. For our God given rights.”

“You truly are a preacher’s son, Major.”

“So you always say, but why?”

“You always find the blessing in disguise.”

The dragoons were outside.

It was time to take her home.

Benjamin smiled.

“I’m not the only one who does.”

At the tent’s open flap, she asked, “Will you tell me about Setauket, if I ask?”

“Well,” he considered it, a second too long. “I’m not sure it is beneficial for your mission.”

“Really? You are not the only Long Island soldier I feed, Major. Is that a sufficient answer?”

“Yes,” he said, clearly refraining his laugh, “yes, of course.”

She nodded, and laughed for both of them. Then she raised her chin, “Good. You just earned yourself an extra piece of ham.”

“Miss Walker!”

“I’m coming, Captain Seymour!”

“I’m not counting on the ham,” Benjamin remarked, “You’ll give my extra piece to a foot soldier, won’t you?”

“I-” she paused. He knows me.

“Yes, I would.” She moved forward, “Seymour is getting reckless. Goodbye, Major Tallmadge.”

“Goodbye, Miss Walker.”

And she left the soldier from Long Island.

#inspired by my mom honestly making a very good ham today #added a bit of work to this and I really like it #I also just love when Benjamin talks about Setauket… so many thoughts… head SO full #this man can fit so much trauma in his anxious little heart #SS&SP #the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot #benjamin tallmadge #elizabeth walker #otp: first thing in the morning #Benliz #benjamin & elizabeth #turn: washington's spies #turn: washington’s spies #turn fic #amc turn fic #turn amc fic #turn: washington’s spies fic #benjamin tallmadge x oc #amanda writes (kind of) #Benjamin Tallmadge #please show up in the tags

[shivunin]

DID I SEND CHARACTERS ALREADY? I can’t remember but I’m gonna do it (again)

Leliana, Bethany, and Josie??

Nope, but good picks! c: And thank you for asking, Zen!

(Character Ask thing)

Leliana:

First impression: I started Inquisition first, so: ooh badass spy lady, I'm into it

Impression now: The same, but I love the dimension that playing Origins gives her character (+ Leliana's song). To see her go from this devil-may-care character to a woman who is trying her best to be virtuous, then the Left Hand of the Divine to her ending in Inquisition (hardened/unhardened, Divine/not Divine) is all so fascinating. We get so much scope in her character and I think it's fantastic.

Favorite moment: I think my favorite line for her is the bit about shoes in the Winter Palace, where she talks about everything she can sort of interpret based on the woman's buckles. It's such an interesting insight into her thought process

Idea for a story: I have a half-written scene with her and Salshira in the Josie/Salshira universe where she helps arrange passage to the duel with Lord Otranto and I think it's really fun!

Unpopular opinion: I know people generally think it's not canon/ridiculous, but I think Fade Ghost Leliana is so goddamn funny. She came back from the ether to work a 9 to 5 for the church. Like what?? She fought her friend to the death over a jar of ashes and dragon's blood and then she was like, well, okay, but what if there was an epilogue?? It's so funny. So so funny.

Favorite relationship: Leliana and Shmooples. I want more Leliana and Shmooples content. She loves that little fella so much and I want to know what their day to day is like. (but I am also interested in how Josie and Leliana became friends; she is so protective of Josie in a way she isn't toward anyone else and it is really really interesting to me)

Favorite headcanon: Leliana and Zev are buddies and stay in touch. I saw a comic a while ago of him leaving gifts/notes for the other companions and I find the headcanon so delightful. I like to imagine he's how Leliana actually tracked down the Hero of Ferelden.

Bethany:

*I want to preface this by saying that I have not even once played 2 with a non-mage, so I haven't spent a ton of time around Bethany.

First impression: Oh, cool, you get siblings in this one!

Impression now: Let Bethany say fuck. For the love of God, let Bethany say fuck

Favorite moment: I am so sorry, I can't think of anything specific T.T I do think her dialogue with a romanced Sebastian in the Legacy DLC is funny.

Idea for a story: In my magician AU, Bethany is in a coma. I have loosely plotted a part in this AU where she wakes up and is able to express some of that anger about the role she had in her family.

Unpopular opinion: Idk if this qualifies, but I would like to have the option to choose which sibling dies in the intro sequence (no hate to Carver) so I can have my cake and eat it, too (be a mage and also hang out w Bethany)

Favorite relationship: Isabela sending Bethany naughty books in the Circle cracks me up, so those two.

Favorite headcanon: I like to imagine she and Wen hang out if she is a Warden (and have some version of a "don't you ever just want to lose it?" conversation)

Josephine: (light of my life!!!)

First impression: Oh my goodness she is so pretty 🥺

Impression now: Same. But also, if there is one individual person I would not piss off from Inquisition, it's Josie. Everyone else will just kill you---maybe take a bit doing it, but ultimately they would kill you. Josie?? Josie could wipe your family history off the map if she wanted. She could ruin everyone who ever helped you. And yet! she also goes out of her way to be kind to the Inquisitor even if un-romanced. I love that she stays herself throughout the events of the game.

Favorite moment: The Otranto duel. Oh my goodness. The drama! The romance! Josie not wanting the Inquisitor in harm's way, but also so relieved to be with them openly! My little romantic's heart can't take it.

Idea for a story: The uh. The Otranto duel with her and Salshira. Salshira having no idea how to fight with a sword but learning as much as she can on the boat over. Going in knowing she can't win and knowing she's going to do it anyway because Josie (clever, beloved Josie, who is home to her even though she wasn't looking for one) is worth it to her. She is worth being loud and vulnerable about her affection and she is worth fighting for. The relief of getting to hold Josie in public, with everyone watching, and swing her around in happiness---just like their dance at the Winter Palace, but a thousand times more joyful (I totally haven't thought about this at all...)

Unpopular opinion: Josie has never done anything wrong ever. I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion or not, but that's just facts.

Favorite relationship: Josie and Bull---like what is going on there, Josie???

Favorite headcanon: Josie sharing her doll collection with her love <3 (this isn't even a headcanon, I just realized as I wrote it, it's just like. a fic idea. ah well.)

#i have josie brainrot right now idk if you can tell haha #the problem is she is so pretty and so smart that it is distracting and i can't write coherently about her and salshira #ask response #ask game response #(also. i am sending you a hug of your desired intensity zen)

[chidoroki]

Tokyo Revengers S2EP4

aka: sketchy assistance is sketchy

Were those other two little kids Mitsuya’s siblings? I can’t tell. They both have similar eyes but not matching Mitsuya, not like eye color means much in anime, or hair color for that matter, but whatever.

“I’m keeping an eye on him [Takemichi] because he’s a moron.” Glad we can count on you Chifuyu.

Release Yuzuha? From what exactly? Taiju’s gunshot like punches maybe?

Oohh Mitsuya with a swift block! but damn Hakkai really is terrified of his bro, poor dude is sweating bullets and breathing heavy.

Well shit, Taiju agreed to the deal to not hitting Yuzuha but now we gotta let Hakkai go to Black Dragon. I dunno if this the right way to deal with the issue but I assume we got a backup plan or something to get Hakkai back?

So the small kids earlier are Luna and Mana. I don’t recognize the names from anywhere, so maybe they are just family.

Thank god we got Chifuyu to talk Takemichi out of heading back to the future too early.

Oh.. due to their parents never being home, Taiju was basically abusive to his siblings, and because of Mitsuya’s words to Hakkai to “protect everyone” he made a deal to take all the beatings to spare Yuzuha.. damn we’e getting a whole lot on this family huh.

And if Taiju broke his promise back way back then then I’m sure the deal he just made with Mitsuya means shit to him too.

“I’m going to.. kill Taiju” WELL we certainly can’t have that! That’s the one thing we’re trying to prevent here!

So y’all just let him walk away after? Not even gonna say anything to try and change his mind??

“Taiju’s got connections with the rich. When they’ve got trouble, he loans them Black Dragon goons. They pay him big money in exchange. It was one of my jobs to collect that money. But yesterday, I was released from doing that forever.” Okay, it’s good that her involvement with the brother is starting to get cut off but I’m still worried since she said it was just “one of her jobs,” like there could’ve been more, if any, and I don’t like any ideas my mind is getting on what those could’ve been.

“Yuzuha’s hiding something.” Yeah ya think?

“We’re down to half now. Of the founding members. I’ve lost sight in where I’m heading with this.” And that could possibly be the reason why Mikey changes in the future, since Draken ends up on death row and Mitsuya ends up missing apparently..

“Mitsuya. Don’t you ever leave us, okay?” EXACTLY. Ya see what I’m saying!!

Okay I didn’t notice last week but yeah now I remember Draken has a new voice actor.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing Hanma and Kisaki in the Toman uniforms, even if they both fit it well.

What.. was with the random zoom in on the table with nothing on it..?

Kisaki wants to work with Takemichi? Oh dear.. and Chifuyu is getting all angry with him. Understandable since he knows about the future where he kills him but chill boy!

“And Black Dragon isn’t so weak that you two alone can crush them.” Well no shit, especially when one of them two is Takemichi. The lad can take a hit but I’ve yet to see him actually put up a fight.

FUCK CHIFUYU! I get your anger but seriously no need to smash a damn plate and point it at Kisaki like that when the dude is trying to prevent y’all from making stupid mistakes!

Okay Hanma, relax with the knife at Takemichi’s throat too please.. granted it looks like a butter knife but still, I don’t doubt you could still do some damage with that.

Kisaki’s got a spy in Black Dragon? What else is knew. You sure know a lot of people huh?

Goddamn, yeah, that private chat with the spy didn’t last long at all courtesy of Koko..

Wait a damn second.. is Koko the actual spy??

Oh my god.. I’m pleasantly surprised? The guy truly is a snake.

“Every year on Christmas night, he goes to church to worship.” Well then, hallelujah. Give praise that no one dies this time during a holiday battle.

I don’t wanna give praise to Kisaki of all people because I know he’s gotta be scheming behind the scenes for stuff but thanks for helping us out now? I guess?

#tokyo revengers #episode reaction

[thedevilallthetime-novel]

The gif above shows an instance of Reverend Teagardin and Lenora together in his car. After this scene, he unfortunately assaults her. 

The amount of gaslighting and manipulation that occurs in this novel is insane. Lenora, among many of the religious girls growing up in the 60s, is extremely innocent. This was a time where purity culture was rampant, especially in a small town. 

After Teagardin, Lenora quickly realizes that she is pregnant as she begins feeling terribly ill and even goes to the lengths of missing church. 

As any rational person does, she confronts him as it is just as much his fault. 

“...when Lenora blurted out, her voice cracking and hysterical, that she was carrying his baby… He jumped up with a start, then hurried up to the front door to close it… Then he walked to the front of the church where she sat on one of the benches, tears running down her quivering face.” (Pollock, p 219)

Before he speaks, we knew Teagardin was a coward who wouldn’t own up to his mistakes. Several thoughts go through his mind such as strangling Lenora to death to cover his mistakes. He has to make a decision on what to do, and fast.

“He decided to begin talking, which is what he did best… He heard of cases like hers where the person was so deluded and sick over something they had done or some sin they had committed they began imagining things… Lenora stopped sobbing by then… “I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” she said, “I’m pregnant with your baby.”

“”How could I be the daddy? I’ve never touched you, not once. I’ve got a wife at home that’s a hundred times as pretty…”

“She looked up with a dumbfounded expression. “You’re saying you don’t remember

all the things we did  in your car?””

“I’m saying you must be crazy to come into the Lord’s house and talk such trash. You think anyone’s going to believe you over me? I’m a preacher.””

““My advice for you, girl,” his voice turning low and hateful, “is figure out a way to get rid of it.”” (Pollock, p 219-220)

After this page, I had to pause reading because I was so dumbfounded by this man. How could someone be so evil to that to such an innocent girl, and then not own up to it? It truly is evil how someone could put themselves in such a high position of power and use it to assault, impregnate, and then deny their victims any kind of reparations for his actions. The amount of gaslighting Teagardin used is straight up wrong. He knew how to use religion to hurt Lenora, knowing how much she praised God. He truly is an evil man and I’m glad that Arvin killed him.

[livingwithlosingyou]

Living with Losing You - 10/23/2022

100 days. How?

This is not what I wanted when I had said I wanted to make it until 100. I cannot believe today is the 100th day since you took your life. Wild.

I went to church today, the service was good. What I really appreciate is that this church answers questions at the end of the service that people submit during the sermon. I feel like it takes a genuine and honest approach to do this. I met up with a buddy that I had made at that first bonfire that I went to, and then talked with a couple other people that I knew and met new people too. I am excited about this community, and feel so grateful that I found Grace / Grace found me!

After church I ran and got a salad and some bundt cakes for lunch. I bought some for a couple of friends and family. Doing fun things like that always makes me feel better. Doing this for people (Acts of service) is my love language for sure! Then I went from there to pick up Sadie since I had dropped her off at Mary’s the day before. We got back home super late last night, so I wanted to sleep in / rest before church and figured I would just get her afterward. She is so cute, and always excited to see me. The feeling is mutual. 

After I picked up Sadie I went home, ate, watched a stand up special and Nailed It, then took a nap. I am honestly forgetting what day it was, but I was watching stand up and Nick Kroll (one of your faves) was making a joke towards guys that think they’re “so cool” and he kept saying Jake. It was really funny. Anyway, once I was done eating, the food coma hit. I ended up taking a nap. It as much needed. True story, when I woke up this morning, it hurt to stand my body ached so much. It’s how you know you’re getting old. #thestruggleisreal

My dad told me Logan’s soccer game was at 4:00pm, so I quickly got ready to go to that. I arrived to find that no one was there, parents wise. The kiddos were just practicing / warming up. I called my dad and asked where he was and he said Goodwill up the road. When I asked him when the game was he said between 3:45pm-4:45pm. What does that even mean (LOL). I found out the game was actually 4:45pm, so I met up with him and Heather at the Goodwill. I hadn’t seen them in over 3 weeks, so it was nice to see them. Found some good deals and then we caught up at the game itself. Logan’s team plated super well and they ended up winning which was good. It makes me feel better to watch Lo play sports because it makes me realize that clumsy runs in the genes. I compare myself to a freshly new born giraffe trying to walk as my daily, and honestly that is Lo too. I feel like I’m extremely uncoordinated, but I am cute so it makes up for it (in an adorable / endearing way). 

Anyway, after the game I told Marissa I would grab dinner with her. We ended up getting Mexican food, which I had not had in a hot minute. It really hit the spot! I drove, and she came over and ate it at my place. While she was here, some stupid guy that she had been talking to (and has been gaslighting her, for real) decided to just be an ass for really no reason. She was pretty upset, so in an effort to cheer her up, I tried to log into your YouTube on your TV to show her that ending scene of “What Happens in Vegas”. 11/10 recommend that scene. Once I opened your YouTube, I realized that there was a recent search on there that I had not seen before. But, it wasn’t toward the top. I only know what you had searched because when you took your life, I was looking for any answer. I can say that I never remembered seeing this song there. Te song is called “Softly, I leave you” and it was the Frank Sinatra song. If you are curious as to what the lyrics are, the song essentially goes:

“Softly I will leave you softly For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go So I leave you softly long before you miss me Long before your arms can beg me to stay For one more hour or one more day After all the years I can't bear the tears to fall so Softly, as I leave you there“

Naturally I felt very weird about it, all things considered. It honestly made me a bit sad. I just miss you so much. It’s been hard to navigate. You were my go to and my peace. Sometimes my chaos. The calm before the storm and the storm. But, I’d take it all again. 

Love you, butthead. 

Rest in Peace, James Burton Nichols

10/1/1993 - 7/16/2022

[houseofmad]

I think I always forget to mention but the drabbles I write on LavEmiya are waaaaayy out of order 😅. Besides the chapter 1, I posted which is actually the prologue (I forgot if I wrote prologue on it lol) but the one where he meets her at the greenhouse is the prologue

After that, there’s like a whole boring war section and information dump for what’s happening in the plot. Which I always forget but Lavenza and Archer didn’t get along--Archer was put-off by her stiff personality (she kind of acted like Lleysritt lol) but they both were with some soldiers (because war and yeah, this part is kind of boring but I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. I felt like it was essential in Lavenza’s growth as a character, as well as for them to bond over something), the soldiers would often tell Archer how Lavenza was which contradicted how she acted with him--and then he realized she was purposefully acting like a doll because he was a magus. 

The drinking scene I posted was meant to happen when they were at a town for supplies--it was a sort of break from the war, at this point, Lavenza somewhat opens up, and then cue more information dump on magic and the whole reason there even is a war. Around this time Lavenza gets her staff from the deformed homunculus (I think I posted this scene here? I didn’t post the description of her getting the actual staff but more so the scene of her talking to the deformed homunculus because that’s important to her story).

Anyways, there are some things with the Holy Church and the actual plot (I might need to shorten the plot because it sounds very very long lol) but the story takes place in a span of months or a year--I couldn’t pull off two weeks like OG FSN that seems impossible here lol--I know for certain the story goes through Christmas to Valentine’s Day--there’s a lot of timeskipping. I’m not about to pull a Dracula Daily here, going day by day. 

And then I don’t think I ever mentioned the plot but the plot is essentially a magus is trying to recreate a Holy Grail but he wants a pure Holy Grail--as in, he’s on the side of humanity, magi or human he doesn’t wish to sacrifice anyone really but still wishes to reach the Root. The magus is also trying to make a countermeasure for Angra Mainyu so nothing like the 4th Fuyuki HGW happens again. Though I think it would be cool to have an actual grail war, I also felt having Archer in one again as a human was....weird, even if he’s not a master? So this is supposed to be a preparation for making a Grail War and not so much the Grail War itself (Archer is trying to dismantle it before it begins by the way since he is suspicious of the magus).

And this is supposed to take place a few years after Archer makes the contract with Alaya--R.I.P me because Archer wouldn’t have all his amazing weapons yet so I have to limit it. Sadly also, if you ever see it says the Doctor, its because Lavenza quite literally doesn’t get her name until near the end of the story--she is often referred to by other names with the narration of Archer’s POV being ‘The Doctor’ and her creator calling her Alaya. And I think I will change the narration to calling him Emiya instead of Shirou lol. Lavenza and a few others call him by first name--not because it’s the whole ‘special reason of like dating or familiarity in Japanese or something’ but because Lavenza is essentially a British/Anglophone and by that logic kept botching his name (E-MEE_A; Emilia, Miya) to the point he was just ‘Shirou will do’. If I’m remembering right, Lavenza still butchers it a couple of times but on purpose--something like ‘Sher-roo’ or something. 

#believe me I don't have an english name and the amount of people who have botched it would make me rich #only 2 people have ever said my name right without me correcting them and that was my French teacher and my Japanese teacher... #Mad's story #LavEmiya #archer emiya #fanfiction #fsn fanfic #I don't know I just felt like explaining all this jargon so uh yeah #emiya #I think I just wanted to say that their romance didn't just happen like overnight lol there was attraction and then there was nothing... #quite literally nothing for months #maybe some flirting #hmmm not sure about the internet but making with OCs generally give them voices so y'all can...imagine it when reading? #anyways Lavenza's voice is basically Shinobu Kocho's from KNY both sub/dub #the more and more I think about this the more obvious it seems like a fanfiction and I need to tell myself that's ok.........

[primofate]

im feeling kinda akward since its my first time requesting,i really really really like your writings and im wondering if you could do some angst for albedo, anything you feel like tbh, but if may i be a little selfish i was thinking on something like he hurt you, so you break up with him or maybe he break up with you and regret later, im in love with the genius and your writings so why not lol, hope you are doing well, xoxoxooxox

Thanks for the request anon. <3 Sorry it took so long, but I’m feeling angst today so here goes. Let me know what you think <3

QUEUED POST

Scenario: Breaking up

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst?

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read: (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)

Albedo

Alone.

These days you found yourself alone in your shared home. It had been nearly a year since the two of you decided to live together. Maybe that was a bad idea.

You were smitten. He was such an intelligent man, and truth be told you loved how his mind worked. He was silent and mostly kept to himself at first, but with you, there were subtle touches, fleeting kisses. Oh and his eyes, the way his eyes brightened or the way his lips turned up at the sight of you. The way he held you close at nights, up until the morning.

Gone were those days. 

He was hardly home. The intelligent man you had fallen in love with, was also a workaholic. Perhaps you should’ve seen it coming. There were so many signs.

Maybe he changed. Maybe you changed. But the little things weren’t enough anymore. He came home just to sleep and wake up, and he was off again. 

“Bedo, have you got some time off on the weekend? We haven’t been up to Starsnatch Cliff in a while,” you had prodded him a few days ago, wondering if the problem would be solved if you made the first move. 

“Sorry, Y/N, we’re just about to discover more about the properties of electro crystals... It’ll be useful if we want to sustain higher energy concentrations on...” and just like that he had gone off a tangent explaining the whole thing. You smiled a little, it was still endearing how excited he got discussing those things. 

But you couldn’t help but be lonely at how he seemed to love his research more than you. 

‘Maybe I just need to be more proactive. That’s it! I’ll go and visit him at the lab today!’ Surprising him was one of the things that you had always wanted to do. But not a lot of things got past Albedo. He was observant like that. You made a quick run to the bakery, getting him some croissants and welcomed yourself into the Favonius Headquarters. 

You looked up at the sign on his laboratory door. That sign was always there though, Klee had told you about it, and Sucrose had also talked about it once or twice before, telling you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go in if the sign was up. But when was it ever down? So, you shrugged, and pushed the door open with a wide smile.

“What are you doing here?!” There’s a wild look in Albedo’s eyes the moment you step in. He didn’t appreciate being disturbed. You tilted your head a little at his reaction, you weren’t expecting that.

“Oh, since you’ve been so busy these days I just thought I’d drop by and give you something to--”

“Y/N, did you not see the sign on the door? No disturbances, even from you,”

“I’ll just be quick, I’m just dropping this off,” you lift the paper bag from the bakery and lay it down on the nearest table. Albedo closes his eyes with a sigh. 

“...We’re working on something dangerous right now, I don’t have time to eat. Please take it back,”

Surprisingly, you obey quite quickly, and take the paper bag back into your hands. Annoyance start to pulse in your veins. “Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

Sucrose had been standing there the whole time, and you can see the slight wince on her face at your cold statement... But Albedo had returned it ten fold, snapping an answer back. “Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

You didn’t expect how much it would sting. Your shoulders slump downwards at the realization that this... had gone too far. You couldn’t take it anymore. Sucrose opens her mouth, but doesn’t know what to say looking back and forth between you and Albedo. 

The Kreideprinz had continued with his task as if nothing had happened at all, but he knew what he said. He didn’t want any interferences nor accidents happening in the lab and that was the only thing he cared about at the moment. 

Your foot moves to step back, but your eyes are glued to Albedo. You can only see his back. His hair tied up neatly, the shoulders that you loved to wrap your arms around and his hands that were always gentle. You took a good look, drinking the whole scene in like you hadn’t had a drop of water in days. 

This was the last time you would lay eyes on him and it broke you into so many pieces. You turned away without another word, Sucrose staring at the door, before she decided that she needed to follow you. “I-I’ll be back, Master Albedo,” she rarely ever abandoned an experiment, but she knew that you needed a friend right now. 

Ironic, because it should have been Albedo running after you, but instead the green-haired girl caught up to you just as you reached the fountain in the middle of Mondstadt. “Y/N!” she jogs, and stops when you do as you hear your name.

Tears prickled your cheeks, but they were more of frustration than sadness. You stand there for a moment, drying your tears and turning around towards Sucrose, gaze on the pavement. “Y/N...” Sucrose approaches carefully, hand resting on your shoulder.

“...I don’t know anything other than Albedo, Sucrose,” you start, a curtain of memories flashing through your mind. “...Without him, there isn’t much reason for me to stay in Mondstadt,” Sucrose shakes her head rather hastily. “H-He’s just... a little occupied right now, Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said,” You close your eyes, the scene repeating in your head.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

A hard lump forms on your throat at how hard you try not to sob. How hard you try to keep yourself together and Sucrose sees it from the way your lips tremble. “Sucrose, please watch over him,” and that is also the last that Sucrose sees of you. 

That night, Albedo arrives home exhausted, just as he always does. But now that he was home, he could at least expect a warm meal and a warm hug. A soft smile tugs on his lips at the thought.

When he turned the lights on, he was met with a strange stillness instead. His hand stays on the switch as his eyes scan the living room. It was...quiet. There were no plates on the table, and there were no sounds from the kitchen.

Deep in the pits of his stomach there’s an anxiety that starts bubbling up. He brushes it off, opting instead to check the kitchen. “Y/N?”

Empty. 

His footsteps hasten as he opens the bedroom door, expecting you to be curled up there, asleep. 

Empty.

Albedo takes in a shaky breath. You were probably just out in town, doing some late night shopping. Yeah, that’s it, perhaps you just didn’t have enough ingredients for dinner today and--his eyes land on the bedside table.

The photo frame is gone. The photo of the two of you standing side by side together with comfortable smiles on your faces, his hand on your waist, and the house on the background. 

He throws open the closet doors. Your clothes are gone. Your shoes are gone. Even your scent seemed to have disappeared. The anxiety that was once a small bubble in his stomach had started to claw it’s way out, wrenching his heart in places that he didn’t know could hurt. The tears pooling in his eyes were so foreign that he didn’t even know what was happening until he hears himself gasp back a sob.

You’re gone. 

Suddenly it was so hard to breathe, but he pulls himself up and out the door. There’s no way. Where would you go? Perhaps you were just around Mondstadt, trying to get a breath of fresh air to calm your nerves. He searches everywhere. The church, the tavern, the Good Hunter and even atop the rooftop of the Favonius Headquarters. There was a decent view of the city there, and his eyes roam the streets, just to get a glimpse of you.

“...Please...” There’s another lump in his throat, his eyes dart around looking for any small sign of you. 

“Albedo? Tired?” you ask as he returns home one day. He merely lets out a small “Mm,” and pulls a chair out from the dining table to sit on. You walk into the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea, and he snatches your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. “Thank you, love,” 

“...Please!” his grip on the stone walls of the rooftop tighten. His vision blurs.

“Al! Don’t do that!” you try to swat his hand away from the pot, a short laugh coming off of your lips at how mischievous he could be sometimes, trying to dip his finger into the sauce. He has a grin on his face as he successfully tastes the sauce off his finger, making a sound of approval as he draws you in for a light kiss on your forehead, “It’s good, as always,” 

His legs buckle, and he finds himself on his knees, hands fisted upon the cold stone wall. “At least tell me where you've gone! I can’t--” he doesn’t know when the last time he cried was, but whenever it was, he doesn’t remember it to be this bad. The pain was unlike any injury he had, it grasped so tightly at his heart.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

He furiously shakes his head because he knows that it was his fault. “I didn’t mean it, please give them back,” as if there was someone else who took you away. As if there was a God listening to him right now. 

He realizes that the worst of it was not that you had left, but that you had left no traces of you behind. No photo. Not a piece of clothing. Not a trace of your existence.

Nothing for him to hold on to.

That night, he dragged himself back home. Face flushed and hot from the tears he had shed and the ones he was attempting to hold back.

That night, he painfully got into bed.

Alone.

Taglist:  @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @KimbapSana @fanfictionenthusiast

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#albedo #albedo x reader #genshin impact #genshin #genshin reader angst #genshin x reader angst #albedo x reader angst #genshin fics #genshin short fics #genshin headcanons #albedo angst

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

So I was being a basic bitch the other day and listening to my true crime podcasts when it occurred to me just how suspicious Nile’s “death” would look to everyone not in the Guard, leading me to a train of thought that, 2200 words later, absolutely got away from me but I can’t let go so I’m inflicting it on all of you!

To set the stage, we know the movie takes place over approximately a week. Here’s what happens to Nile from the military’s point of view:

She dies is very seriously injured

She heals without a scratch

Just before she’s supposed to be shipped out to Germany, she vanishes, leaving two men concussed (and presumably reporting being knocked out by a woman with short hair wearing civilian clothes)

She goes AWOL for several days

They get word from the CIA that she is to be reported killed in action (details unclear)

So, at the beginning of this very weird week, the USMC has to tell Nile’s family of her death critical injury. What her family was told depends on how long she was dead – a Google search tells me that family will be notified in person within 8 hours of a soldier’s death, but we don’t know how long her first death lasted. For an injury, however, they’d get a phone call to notify them and the unit would arrange for them to visit as soon as the soldier is transferred out of a combat zone. Like I remember when I was in high school, a guy from my church who was a Marine was really seriously injured in a helicopter crash in Iraq and from what I could tell, his parents were told immediately and were flown out to Germany to see him, so it stands to reason that Nile’s family would have been informed relatively quickly after her throat was slashed, one way or another.

And then, she goes AWOL. Her family would be notified while the USMC tried to figure out where she went, not least because the military would want to know if she’s contacted them. (And it’s possible that her family may have been on the way to Germany to see her since we know that’s where she was supposed to go!) So for several days:

Nile’s mom and brother have no idea where she is

They know she was seriously injured and most certainly should not have been moving around on her own

They can’t get a hold of her

The military can’t tell them anything

And the next thing they know for sure is that she was “killed in action.” After being injured and vanishing into thin air. And they presumably cannot produce her body or any concrete evidence of her death. In any case, something sketchy is going on, so they’re like. SMELLS LIKE A MILITARY COVERUP.

In a surprise to probably no one, there is a well-documented legacy of mysterious US military deaths, particularly of women of color (TW for sexual assault in these links). The cases of LaVena Johnson and Vanessa Guillenin particular have made national news because of their families’ persistence in seeking justice. Likewise, Nile is a Black woman, and her mom and brother are most certainly hypercognizant of (a) state violence against Black people and (b) these high-profile cases of suspicious military deaths. So her family are seriously side-eyeing the situation, knowing that (a) the military has a serious incentive (and a documented history) of covering up things that make them look bad and (b) nothing about Nile’s disappearance and supposed death are adding up.

And Andy’s right. Nile does come from warriors. And you know who else does? Her brother.

Don’t get me wrong. Nile’s mom would absolutely not back down. She’d know something was up and want to get to the bottom of it. But based on what I know about Gen X parents (mine), they’re not the most technologically savvy. Like they can use the internet, but they didn’t grow up with it the way we young millennials and Gen Z did. So Nile’s brother takes the lead. And what do zillennials do best?

Social media.

Nile’s brother starts going hard on any site he can, trying to get the word out to see if anyone knows what happened to his sister. He starts a Reddit thread. He starts a Facebook group. He reaches out to the media and true crime bloggers and podcasters à la Sarah Turney, getting loud and being a general nuisance in hopes of getting some answers. He gets his friends and Nile’s friends involved. Maybe eventually Dizzy, Jay, and others from Nile’s unit hear about it and reach out, telling him what they saw and how weird it all was. He’s drumming up interest, and soon “Nile Freeman” becomes a household name (at least among the true crime fans).

Copley is, of course, trying his best, but at this point there is just so much that it’s impossible for him to scrub everything. Sure, he can erase new footage of Nile and the Guard, but what can he do about Reddit threads and podcast episodes that are speculating something weird has happened? Maybe he could hack the sites and shut those things down, but honestly, that’s the last thing he’d want to do, because that only adds weight to the theory that Nile’s disappearance is a military coverup. So eventually he has to tell Andy what’s going on.

Andy, obviously, does not take the news well. However, she is also completely computer illiterate, because that’s Booker’s job and he’s the only one who ever bothered to learn what the internet is in any meaningful way. (She probably calls Booker for advice, and for the record, I think Booker would have no qualms about shutting down conspiracy threads, tinhats be damned, but Copley is too concerned about the consequences. He’s ex-CIA for crying out loud, he knows how it’ll look if they scrub every mention of Nile’s name from the internet.) Maybe she confers with Joe and Nicky but, let’s be honest, they’d be equally unhelpful. So at this point, she knows they have to bring in Nile.

But the thing about Nile is that she, too, knows how to use the internet (duh). Aside from her being a young millennial/digital native, we know from the cave scene where she’s giving Booker suggestions on how to track Copley that she clearly is even more computer savvy than the average person. And for that reason she almost definitely took over the day-to-day tech stuff after Booker’s exile. So I think it would be foolish to expect her to be unaware of what’s happening. She’s not contacting her family or posting on the message boards or anything, but she knows what’s up. So Copley and the team probably sit her down to “break the news,” but we know the girl does not have a poker face (see: literally shooting herself in the foot and not being able to play it cool whatsoever) and cracks immediately, telling them she’s seen everything about her case – she’s not interacting with any of it, she certainly didn’t instigate anything, but she knows. (And she is so goddamn proud of her brother.)

At this point, I’d like to pause and consider Nile’s role in the overall narrative of this movie. She’s set up as a foil to Andy, obviously, but she’s also a foil to Booker. Booker, who, like Andy, is a serious pessimist, but who, unlike Andy, still has very fresh memories and trauma associated with being the new kid, which have destroyed him. In his mind (and Andy’s), if Nile communicates with her family, she’ll become just like him in a century or two – bitter, alone, and stuck with her grief and memories of watching her family die and knowing they died resenting her. It’s a small sample size, but this is the only experience they have to go off of.

But it doesn’t have to be like that.

There’s been a lot of discussion of TOG being a fundamentally queer movie – a group of people brought together because of something inherent about themselves that is different, that must be hidden, that causes others to hate, fear, and reject them. Booker’s backstory is the archetypal traumatic “coming out” story – his family learns who he is, hate him for it, and attempt to cast him out of their lives. He’s stuck with his trauma, his pain, his loss, and it consumes him.

But what if Nile’s family would be the opposite? What if her “coming out” to them as immortal is met with acceptance, love, celebration? What if her family is just overjoyed to have her back, and they don’t care what the circumstances are? I'm reminded of this incredible post from @shitty-old-guard-deaths a while back, where Nile’s mother hits Booker with a frying pan because “my baby let me believe she was dead for FIVE YEARS based on your bad advice???” (which may or may not have inspired this whole tangent). Nile takes the advice of someone who did the same thing she wants to do because she doesn’t want to risk her family’s rejection. She wants the good memories with her family and is afraid that showing them her true self will bring her unbearable pain, forever replacing those memories. But, with high risk comes high reward.

Anyway. Nile and the team are trying to come up with a plan for how to handle this whole thing, but she’s not really participating because she’s too afraid to hope. Until finally, quickly, so she doesn’t lose her nerve, she suggests she reach out to them, knowing that, realistically, that’s the only solution before things snowball even further out of control. The team is shocked, but realize that she has a point. They decide that Copley should actually be the first point of contact, posing as a US government official to talk with them and test the waters.

So Copley goes to Nile’s family’s house to talk with her mom and brother. They’re probably distrustful and apprehensive, but nonetheless secretly ecstatic that their work has paid off. They talk and review all of the information that they’ve collected, including testimonials from the people on Nile’s base and recent sightings (along with photos) of Nile (with the same three people) over the last few years that people have sent them but they haven’t posted publicly. At this point, Copley’s like, yeah this is about to blow up, we gotta put our cards on the table. He convinces them to come with him to some safe house/black site/whatever he can get that is technologically impenetrable (I’m picturing them in like, an interrogation room at a police station kind of deal), takes their phones, locks the doors, and brings in Nile.

What follows is the most delightful reunion scene of all time, bringing Joe, Nicky, and even Andy to tears as they watch and listen from outside the room. With Copley’s help, Nile tells her mom and brother about her immortality and what’s been going on since she died (within reason, of course), and they are thrilled. They don’t understand why (because no one does) but they don’t question it and they see it as a gift from God – she’s been resurrected, she will live, and she has a purpose. Her mother and brother are so happy to see her again and are willing to agree with pretty much anything to stay in her life as long as they can.

So. They set up some complicated agreement (they bring in the other three for support/intimidation as needed) setting the terms of their relationship. They swear Nile’s family to secrecy, maybe bringing up the lab to show how high the stakes are, and they readily agree. They come up with some cover story for Nile’s brother to share on the message boards (maybe that the government has opened an investigation but because it’s an open case he has to shut it all down? Tells people to direct their tips somewhere else? Something to that effect). There’s still speculation, of course, but without Nile’s brother at the helm providing the energy, the hype dies down as news stories are wont to do without any movement. And Nile’s family goes to work for the team. The experience has taught them that Copley can’t possibly do everything himself, especially when it comes to social media, so Nile’s brother takes the lead on the day-to-day tracking/social media while Copley and her mom focus on finding jobs and scrubbing their traces afterward.

So there you have it: Nile gets to integrate her biological family into her found family and spend the rest of their lives with them as it should be, Copley gets some badly needed help managing the reality of social media, the team finally has a positive narrative surrounding outsiders Knowing About Them AND about interacting with people from their previous life, and the audience gets the happy ending to this very lovely and very queer story to counteract the pain associated with Booker’s family.

Plus, you know, I’m a sucker for both a good government conspiracy theory and for Nile getting every good thing she deserves.

#the old guard #tog #tog fanfiction #tog meta #immortal family #nile freeman #mine #damn look at me contributing to a fandom! that’s new #pls reblog if you like this my self esteem could really use it #I just love nile so much and I’m being the nile-centric content I want to see in the world #it is just genuinely nuts to think abt how this situation would be perceived by anyone outside the narrative #she just mysteriously heals from a fatal injury and then VANISHES!!! this should be national fuckin news #also I do think there’s a major hole in the story when you think abt social media #like the only time it’s even hinted at is right at the very beginning when Andy erases that girl’s selfie #and the concept of fuckin Reddit is not even brought up despite Copley’s stalker board being analog Reddit #there’s just a lot of places one could go with this which is very much what we got here #1k

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Sugar, Sugar 15

[FIFTEEN/END]

MASTERLIST

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape, violence, mean sugary Steve

This is a dark! sugar daddy! Steve fic. Obvious AU so please keep that in mind. :) That being said, it will be an explicit fic (18+) with noncon. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

(This chapter: violence, threats, fear  :O)

Series Summary: The reader is struggling in the big city but find opportunity before her. Will she take it?

This Chapter: The wedding day approaches but not everything goes to plan.

Author Notes: So this is another series wrapped up after a grueling two years, haha. Sorry y’all.

Please let me know what you think, like and reblog <3 love ya

🍭 🍭 🍭

The floor length mirror was trimmed with twisted gold. You stared at your reflection as your shaky hands pressed against the front of the ivory dress. The cut hid the small bump but you could not forget it. Ever since you confessed, it all happened so fast; the wedding was pushed up, the dress tailored and expedited, and invitations sent out in a rush.

It all felt surreal. The day had come but you just couldn’t accept it. How could you go through those doors and smile through it all?

You closed your eyes and let your breath out. They would knock when it was your time. Your father would be waiting to walk you down the aisle. The guests waited eagerly for the most talked about ceremony in the city. And you still felt like just a footnote in your own wedding.

You moved away from the mirror and sat unsteadily, gripping the arms of the cushioned chair, careful not to catch your veil under you. That night you told him, that was the final straw. But you didn’t forget what Sasha said. You took a picture of the broken door and wrote down the entire scene. You sent it to yourself in an email as proof.

That wasn’t the last time. You recorded Steve one day when he came in as you were texting your sister about the new date. You hadn’t answered his last message about your first appointment with the doctor. He was livid and you sat and listened to him rant as the red dots pulsed. You wrote down every instance, every time he made you appease him, every terrifying word.

Then there were the police reports. Nothing more than words in a filing cabinet but the night he choked you was just the beginning. He threatened to break your finger when you took your ring off because your hands were swelling. Then he broke your laptop when you didn’t pay him enough attention. 

As the wedding loomed closer, he only seemed to get worse. He was clingy, always touching you, marveling over your stomach. He checked in almost every hour on the hour when he was working, and you weren’t stupid enough not to notice that the building was being watched.

It was like you were living two lives and yet you were entirely trapped with him. What good could the emails do? Or the reports when the police wouldn’t act on them? You were going to marry this man and that would be the end of it; of you, of your life.

Knuckles tapped on the door and you stood. You crossed the room and inched it open the door. You flinched as you were met by an unexpected and uninvited guest.

“Sasha?” you gasped.

“You’re marrying him then?” he held the handle but you didn’t try to close the door, “the account gone, I heard nothing from you.”

“I… I’m scared,” you admitted, “when he found out, I thought he was going to--” you shook your head. He wouldn’t actually kill you.

“You know it’s not too late,” Sasha urged.

“You can’t be here, it he finds out, he’ll--”

“I’ll defend myself,” Sasha snarled uncharacteristically, “I’ll give him what he deserves.’

“No, I don’t want you to get hurt. You need to go,” you begged as you glanced past him furtively.

“I will. Come with me,” he said, “just go. Everyone’s distracted, they won’t know--”

“I can’t just leave. You don’t understand--”

“No, you don’t understand,” he argued, “if you marry him, it all gets so much more complicated. I told you that day at the café. It will be harder to fight after the vows, but right now, you can still get out.”

“And go where?”

He swallowed and looked down the hall. You could hear the distant murmur of the crowd.

“Did you do any of it? Keep a journal? Something?” he asked.

“I tried. I went to the police but nothing,” you sniffed and gripped the door tight.

“Nothing yet but that’s a start,” he chewed the inside of his lip.

“Why are you here? Why is this so important to you?”

“Because I can do something,” he hissed, “because I can’t live with it if I don’t. So come on. Come with me, I got a bigger place. It’ll have to do for now and then we’ll work on getting you standing, getting the baby somewhere to grow--”

“Am I trading him for you?”

“I’m your friend,” he said evenly, “that will never change. All I want is you safe. If it makes you feel better, I’ll sleep in the hall. You can lock me out and I’ll sleep against the door. But I came down here knowing I wouldn’t leave without you.”

“It’s a sweet fantasy but--”

“Come on,” he grabbed your hand and pushed the door open, “please, don’t go with him. It doesn’t end well. You don’t get out. It doesn’t get better.”

“I have nothing,” you quavered.

“You have me,” he said, “please don’t make me walk out of here alone.”

“I….” you uttered as your heart squeezed. “He’ll come after you.”

“Good, I want him to,” he clung to you, “please?”

You inhaled and heard the voices. Your father and your sister. You had no time to think but you knew it was your only chance.

“Let’s go,” you lifted your skirt and pulled the door shut behind you as you stepped out, “now.”

He held onto your hand as you rushed away from the voices and skirted around the corner. Sasha urged you on down the back stairs and through the maze like halls of the extravagant church. You nearly tumbled down the stairs and he caught you as you came along the narrow passage beside the main room, the guests and groom just on the other side of the wall.

You came out into the sunlight and Sasha lifted the train of your skirts as he directed you over the grass. our heels sank into the dirt as you rushed over and the organ began to play Here Comes the Bride. As he helped stuff the swathes of fabric in behind you in his modest car, the music stopped suddenly.

He closed the door as you were squished in the back seat amid your layered skirts and he got in the front. The engine turned and he nearly side swept another car as he pulled out without looking. You peeked back behind you but saw no one coming down the large steps of the church.

He turned the corner and sidled in behind a yellow cab. He looked at you in the mirror and nodded. You bit your lips nervously as reality sank in. Your chest hammered and your entire body buzzed with adrenaline. You knew it was only the beginning.

🍭

The day passed in a daze. You sat in your wedding dress waiting for all hell to break loose. Sasha sat with a beer, silently, and tapped his foot endlessly. When the silence was too much, he turned on the television but neither of you paid any attention to the old sitcom.

When the trance of disbelief dissipated, he showed you around his spacious loft. He was being paid well by Stark but you worried how long he would stay on the payroll after what he’d done. Steve wasn’t stupid and there were more photographers at the church then you’d seen collectively over the last year and a half.

“This is the second bedroom,” he showed you into a room with gleaming windows. There was a bed, a dresser, curtains, a cozy rug, all carefully selected, “I thought you’d be here sooner.”

Your eyes lingered on the box leaned against the far wall. A crib.

“Didn’t know how long…” his voice trailed off as he followed your eye line, “I’m not trying to be him. You can go anytime but I… you have a place here.”

Your eyes welled and you blotted them with your knuckles, the rough lace of your gloves scratching your cheeks, “you did all this for me?”

“I told you, I’d do anything,” he said.

“But… Sasha, I don’t--”

“I don’t expect anything from you. High school was a long time ago but you made it bearable for the biggest dweeb in the class.” He sighed and paced a circle around the room, “you know, I had the biggest crush on you. That doesn’t mean anything now, it doesn’t mean I want you to fall into my arms, but it means I want to help you. It’s the right thing to do, somehow I made a career of doing the right thing so what’s one more?”

You felt your chest sink and you covered your cheeks with your hands, “Sasha?”

“Please,” he cringed, “I was a teen boy, I think I had a thing for Oprah once. Really, it’s just… we’re friends. We’ll always be friends.”

“I can’t…” you sniffled and dropped your hands, “I don’t deserve any of this.”

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Sasha intoned, “and you don’t deserve to live like that. I know this isn’t much but I know you. You’ll find your way, you just got a little lost.”

“I…” you shook your head speechless.

“We’ll figure everything else out tomorrow. You can borrow some of my clothes for tonight and then we can see about retrieving your things from Steve,” he neared the door and stopped beside you, “or we can say fuck it and you can start all over.”

You turned and slung your arms around him. You buried your face against his shoulder as tears spilled out onto his jacket.

“How did you know?” you sobbed.

“That day at the shower,” he rubbed your back gently, “you know, lawyers learn how to read people and you never were very good at subtlety.”

“No,” you chuckled through your tears, “No, it’s why I was great as a bard.”

“Mmm,” he grumbled, “if that’s how you remember it.”

🍭

It felt like Sasha was gone forever but when you checked the clock, it had only been twenty minutes. 

You sat on the couch with your feet under you as you watched the news and rocked nervously. All anyone was talking about was Steve Rogers’ runaway bride. Your face was everywhere and the statement issued by Steve made it all the worse.

He painted you as a gold-digger, as an adulterer, as a swindler. He was the heartbroken fiancé and you were the wrongdoer. You knew it would go this way but expectation never softened reality.

You flinched as the lock turned and Sasha entered with a bag in hand. He came to the couch and set it down beside you.

“I don’t know about my taste in women's clothes but those should do,” he said as he checked his watch, “we should go soon.”

“Yeah,” you stood and opened the bag to reveal the lavender blouse and dark jeans, “you really didn’t have to--”

“You kidding, he’s gonna be surrounded by cameras. You can’t win his game if you don’t play it. I’ve dealt with his type before, they’re the ones who need lawyers on standby,” he sneered, “did you eat?”

“Yeah, thanks,” you swiped up the bag and headed for the hallway, “it was good.”

“No problem,” he shrugged as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv, “and ignore all that nonsense.”

You got dressed and emerged as your anxiety grew to impatience. You left the apartment in brittle silence and the car ride fed the uneasy bubbling of your stomach. .

As you came up to Steve’s building, you sat for a moment before you got out. Sasha followed and shoulder away the cameras as you neared the front door

The elevator moved slowly and fidgeted uncontrollably as it dinged on Steve’s floor. You swallowed and braced yourself to face Steve. Sasha kept a few feet back as you walked down the hall and stopped at the door. You knocked as you found it locked.

It was a while before it opened but when it did, you were startled as Steve grabbed the front of your blouse and wrenched you inside. He spun you but quickly released you as he was knocked off balance and sent sprawling over the floor. Sasha stood above him with his hands in fists.

“Hey,” he pointed at Steve then looked at you, “you okay?”

You nodded as Steve glared between the two of you and cautiously got to his feet, “so you brought your little boyfriend?”

“She’s here to get her stuff. We thought we’d avoid a police escort, as her lawyer I thought it prudent, but we can always make that phone call,” Sasha said sternly, “she is entitled to her possessions.”

“Her stuff? I paid for every single thing she has to her name. Hers? Mine.” Steve spat and reared on you again, only to be caught by Sasha as he inserted himself between you.

“You will not touch her again. Those things you bought for her were gifts. You have no legal rights to them once they are given. She will take her clothes, her phone, and any other necessities.”

“Pfft, she’s not taking anything. She’s not going anywhere,” Steve growled, “she not yours--”

“I am certain the photogs would appreciate a show,” Sasha pulled out his phone, “police? That can only be a domestic dispute.”

Steve squinted and his nose flared as he looked at you over Sasha’s shoulder, “fucking slut.” He crossed his arms and stepped aside, “get your shit, get out…” he hissed, “but I have my rights too. You will not keep me from my baby.”

“That will be settled in court,” Sasha replied coolly, “go on, get your things.”

He waved you past him as he kept you shield from Steve. He was of a height with Steve but not as broad. Even so, you felt safe behind him. You rushed down to the bedroom and quickly gathered up your toiletries and those clothes you didn’t absolutely hate. Your phone screen was shattered but you took it anyway.

As you emerged again, a bag slung on your shoulder, you slid the ring from your finger. 

“You can keep the rest,” you said as you placed the band on the small round table just inside the front room, “goodbye Steve.”

“Goodbye? Goodbye?” he spat, “this isn’t the end and you fucking know it.”

“Calm down,” Sasha warned.

“You don’t tell me what to do,” Steve shoved him, “I should fucking smash your head in--”

“I’d like you to try,” Sasha stood his ground, “really. You think the court would let a violent man be around an infant?”

Steve scoffed and rolled his eyes. He backed down and shouldered by Sasha. “Get the fuck out.”

You left quickly. You had no desire to hang around. As you stepped onto the elevator, Sasha softly touched your elbow and you winced. The bag fell to your elbow and he quickly scooped it up and heaved it over his own shoulder.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No, I don’t think so,” you said, “he was so angry. I--”

“I was stupid, we should’ve brought the police. Fuck the cameras,” he said, “from this point on, no contact with him whatsoever. Only through me and the court. No talking to reporters, no nothing.”

“Yeah, that won’t be hard,” you uttered as he led you out of the elevator. 

As you came outside, cameras flashed and voices called out. You collided with Sasha as he was blocked by a photographer shouting questions, “is it true you’re pregnant? Is it Steve’s?”

“My client will not be answering questions,” Sasha kept on and made a path for you, “go, she’s not answering any of your questions.”

He elbowed past more cameras and opened the car door for you. You fell inside and quickly huddled down in your seat. As he sat behind the wheel, he mumbled and pulled out into traffic. He gripped the wheel tightly and pushed himself back into the vinyl.

“That asshole,” he said, “he’s gonna want the paternity test. This isn’t gonna be pretty.”

“I can’t… he fucking told them. I mean, I’m not surprised but… god,” you grimaced.

“We’ll get the test done before he makes a formal request,” Sasha said, “it shows transparency and when we hand over those results, we’ll include those police reports too.”

“Police reports?” you blinked.

“Sorry, I… It’s a suggestion,” he said tersely, “but he’s going to make this a trial by media.”

“No, no, I want to,” you said firmly, “I want everyone to know the real Steve Rogers.”

🍭

‘I was just like many struggling in the city. I worked a low-paying job in data entry and lived in an apartment which was little more than a box. The dreams of the big city were passing me by as there was little opportunity to be found.

Then I met Steve Rogers. Like a dream or a Lifetime movie. I was in debt, I was desperate, and he offered me a safety net. I can own my part in the relationship; I was interested and I accepted his generosity. I was all too happy with the arrangement.

That was until I found out that it was all based on a lie. I didn’t know that he had access to my accounts even before I knew him, that he had used his connections to force me into that dire situation. And I could not know the real man behind the billionaire façade.

It was little things at first. Any woman loves to feel wanted but his possessiveness soon turned to control. He kept me isolated from my own family and did not permit me to do anything without his permission. His affection turned to obsession and when it was not reciprocated he forced it from me.

He took me on vacation and did not allow me to wear clothes. He chose what I wore, how I looked, and what I did. He coerced me into acts I was reluctant about, and when he was too rough, he did not listen to my pleas for him to stop.

When I tried to leave him, he followed me and dragged me back. He had me watched by PIs and surveilled all my communications. He used his financial power to control me and when that did not work, he used his physical power.

Steve Rogers abused me. He yelled in my face, he threatened my family, and he choked me.

Steve Rogers raped me. He expected me to bend to his will whenever he desired and when I refused, he held me down and did what he wanted.

Steve Rogers took my whole life and when I chose to leave, he set his eyes on the life inside of me. 

The only thing I want from him is freedom. I want to live safely with my child and I want that child to never experience the abuse of their father. I never want anyone to know that horror again which is why I have written this and released the police records. I am not asking for anything but peace for me and my unborn child.’

The statement was carefully edited by Sasha. You reread the font across the glossy pages of Vanity Fair, the article spliced with excerpts not only from the police reports, but your own emailed accounts of your relationship, and the whole thing began with an image of that broken bathroom door.

It was two months since you ran away from the altar but life was not a romcom. It was a disaster. Even with the article, you knew not all would believe you. You knew it would open you to doubt and vitriol. And you knew Steve would have a response.

You closed the magazine and groaned as you rubbed your hips. Freedom didn’t feel so… freeing. There was a long way to go; court dates, doctor’s appointment, and depositions. But it was a start.

You rested your hand on your stomach and pushed on the arm of the couch as you stood stiffly. When you were halfway up, you felt a hand on your elbow and Sasha helped you stand straight. You smiled guiltily. You’d grown a lot in the last few weeks and still had nearly four months to go.

“The reviews are good,” he said, “I know that is kinda grim but… people seem to believe you.”

“Seem to?” you echoed as you went to the kitchen and pulled out the container of sliced strawberries, “or they don’t?”

“Well,” he leaned on the counter as he watched you add too much cream to the berries and smiled, “Stark Industries has cut ties with Shield, Inc. and Tony has made a sizeable donation to several shelters across the city,” he cupped his chin coyly as he leaned on his elbow, “and will be covering legal costs for the support hearings seeing as I can’t legally represent you anymore.”

“Oh,” your mouth fell open before you could spray some cream onto your tongue, “when were you going to tell me this?”

“I’m telling you now,” he crossed his arms as he shifted them further over the island, “I thought I’d give the good news first.”

“And the bad?” you put down the can of cream as you neared the marble across from him.

“I have several requests for interviews and I think you should do at least one,” he said, “I know you hate reporters and all that but… with a little Rogers baby on board, it’s just another part of the process.”

“Oh, and what should I tell them,” you edged around the counter towards him, “that I moved? That I found someone better?” He turned to you, his lips curved as he leaned in and you turned your face up to peck his lips, “or maybe I should tell them I’m single? Keep the intrigue?”

“As long as you tell them I’m handsome, I don’t mind,” he purred as he placed his hand on your side.

“Oh, how could I leave that out?” you cooed and kissed him again, “patient, loving, kind… but what a geek?”

“A geek?” he smirked and framed your chin with his hands, “says the dungeon master.”

You giggled and ran your hands up his chest, “someone’s gotta raise this little bard well.”

“Oh, no, no, she’s not gonna be a bard. Maybe a cleric?”

“No way! That’s lame,” you chirped, “how about… a sorcerer? Ours is a bit lacking.”

“Excuse you,” he quipped, “what was your AC again? Maybe next session I’ll run out of healing spells.”

“See?” you taunted, “geek.”

You drew him to you until he was pressed to your belly and he swept you up in a kiss. You rocked with him as he turned you against the counter and slowly parted.

You squeezed his wrist as you went back around to your strawberries and cream. You took a spoon and scooped up a mouthful as you slid your phone towards you. Sasha stayed as he was, watching you scroll through the emails and piled up texts.

You stopped as one blared in all caps. There was no name, only ‘Private’. You opened the conversation and found a dozen bubbles; ‘THIS ISN’T OVER’, ‘HE CAN’T KEEP YOUR FROM ME’, ‘CUTE, YOU THINK PEOPLE BELIEVE YOUR SHIT.’ Another message blipped up, an image and you dropped your spoon as it opened.

You saw the picture of your sister and her son. You shook as you put your hand down on the counter and choked on the cream.

“What?” Sasha reached over and turned your phone to him, “Shit,” he sighed and blocked the number, “he’s just stacking the evidence against himself.”

“I--” you blinked as tears boiled behind your eyes.

“You don’t need to be afraid,” he screencapped the conversation, “this just makes the case even easier.”

“No, I will always be afraid of him,” you said as you touched your stomach, “it’s not just about me anymore.”

“And it’s not just you anymore,” he took your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb, “we’ve been through worse. If we can get through a cave full of orcs, we can defeat Steve Rogers.”

END (or is it?)

#steve rogers #dark steve rogers #dark!steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #sugar daddy au #au #sugar daddy!steve Rogers #sugar sugar #marvel #mcu #captain america

[strawberry-crocodile]

ngl I really wished Edelgard got to be confronted when her allies learned she was the Flame Emperor, I REALLY would have loved if Byleth confronted her about her working with the people who had a hand in their dads death. I havnt played CF in forever so if I am missing a scene where El is confronted with the dark things she did please tell me.

In Dimitris route he admitted to doing horrible things and he basically served his pentence and earned forgiveness. Sorry but all I remembered of Edelgard was "I did bad things but its for the supposed greater good". I really feel like CF could have done so much more, after explaining why to El why she had to twist/censor the true history of the crests and crests system (which i heard that Rhea herself dosnt even support, exampled when she wanted Sylvains Lance to be a Holy Artifact of the church rather than just giving it to him cause he had the crest) they both challenge TWSITD (playable Serios would have been perfect) but then we have to kill Rhea cause she goes berserk from her wounds like VW except it would have a MUCH more emotional impact on the route cause of each characters history with the enemy.

After El removes the crest system and Fodland knows the truth about crests, all the Nabatean "Weapons" are safely stored in the churches vault to honor Rheas siblings. The Church is still technically around and is run by Seteth/Flayn (as it should be) and Byleth and El live happily ever after with Sothis asking Byleth if they wanted to return to being human (i headcannon that Byleth turned into a Nabatean after fusing with Sothis)

I am honestly trying to like Edelgard but some of the things she does gets glossed over real hard, not even by hardcore fans sometimes , but by canon itself.

I get what you're saying about not criticizing Edelgard! The fact is CF as a route is just very uncriticial of her and I understand why that can bother people. Dimitri's story is that of fucking up and then fixing it; Edelgard's story is more "I have the right idea, I just need Byleth and my friends around to keep me from committing war crimes". But at the same time I think that's why people like it; it's the kind of uncritical power fantasy that anti-authoritarian queer people very rarely get.

That said, I really think that her relation with TWSitD is... less voluntary than people realize. The way Thales talks to her is the way someone talks to a subordinate at best and a creation at worst. With the state of Adrestia in between the insurrection of the seven and Hubert's purging of the nobility, I think she's kinda powerless to really oppose the people who still have a leash around her. She straight up panics and tells Byleth "oh my god please don't associate me with what happened here I'm so sorry" after Remire. People in the story and out of it are quick to blame Edelgard for what TWSitD do, and I guess I can't really get behind it.

Also, it is true that the Adrestian emperor twisted the true history of crests- but that wasn't Edelgard! Edelgard gets her history from Wilhelm Hresvelg, the first emperor of Adrestia. She genuinely believes the misinformation she's telling! Is it good writing or cheap writing that Edelgard genuinely doesn't know that she's got the wrong history, and that you never find out about that if you oppose her? You decide!

(I can't find the direct lines so the wiki will have to do)

Honestly though I think that if you are looking for the most morally justifiable story, yeah, Crimson Flower is just going to have too many holes. But there's a reason that CF/Edelgard fans go so hard, and that's because it's a story about dismantling a church not for trying to summon an evil god, but for perpetuating a flawed and stratified society. It's a story about being loved and accepted despite the fact that you've done terrible things. It's a story about forging your own path. And at the center of it is a textually queer woman!! That's just not something you get in something as big budget and well-written as Three Houses. Azure Moon is about challenging the tropes that used to be bog standard for Fire Emblem; Crimson Flower is about giving the Sword Of Heroes Who Always Win to the queer-coded antagonist.

All that said, hard agree that Edelgard should have conquered Shambhala during the gameplay of part 2, instead of in the epilogue. Yeah that means three of the four routes have the same level, but the non-crimson flower parts are already 70% the same anyway.

#dalucaray #edelgard #honestly i talked myself into playing azure moon again

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

“i thought i lost you” kisses please!!! (if it’s not too late <3)

these are so much fun! i'll reblog again tomorrow if anyone else wants to send one in :)

word count: 990

pairing: spencer reid x wife reader (she/her)

cw: reader is pregnant, the cult episode

--

You watch in fear, like your life is flashing before you eyes in a fiery violent ending, as the church goes up in flames with Spencer trapped inside. You don’t remember screaming, but you feel JJ’s hands on your shoulder, keeping you from running into the building to save Spencer yourself. You must be screaming and crying from the look on JJ’s face. It’s the kind of look that wounded animals get, a look of pity, of helplessness.

“Y/N,” JJ says firmly, holding your shoulders steady as victims come running out from the explosion and reporters start flooding the crime scene, “I need to go help, you need to go to Hotch, go to Hotch,” JJ tells her. And you know exactly what that means: the widows have to stick together, because who else knows the pain of having your future ripped away in a gunshot, in a fiery explosion.

“Okay,” you say numbly, watching the wounded run past you. For the first time in your life you recognize the pain in their eyes, the feeling of despair that they carry on their shoulders, the way that hope is drained from their souls because nothing really matters anymore.

You don’t go find Hotch. He’s got more important things to do than to help you grieve. Resting on the ground, you hold your head in your hands counting. It's a game that you and Spencer play. You’ll never get to 300 before the other one shows up. You suppose that being married and working together makes the odds in your favor, but that game was just a game, until it’s not.

One, two, three.

Your hands move from your head to your belly, where your baby rests, waiting until it’s time to meet their parents. You’ve never seen Spencer so happy. He’s the kind of man that was just born to be a dad. You’ve seen him with children on cases; he’s sweet, attentive, and kind. It's a shame he’ll never get to meet his baby.

“Hey there, little one,” you say, your voice wavering, “It’s your Momma, I know you usually hear Daddy’s voice too, but it’s just me, it’s just me,” you say, trying to not cry.

Children are reunited with their parents, adults with their loved ones. They have a whole lifetime’s worth of trauma to shift through, but it doesn’t matter when they hang off the arms of the person they love. All you can do is talk to your stomach and think of what could have been.

Seventy-five, seventy-six, seventy-eight

“Your Daddy’s coming,” you tell your baby, softly rubbing your belly over your dress shirt, “He’s so smart and he’s gonna love reading to you. He doesn’t even need a book to read to you. He’s too good for his own good,”

JJ and Hotch round up victims, sending them to trauma tents with doctors and medics waiting with IVs and bandages. You wonder if you should go help, but you’re paralyzed to this ground.

One twenty-three, one twenty-four, one twenty-five

“He’s such a good man, baby,” you say, “I hope you’re like him, I hope you have his smile and his eyes. His hair and his kindness,” you’re crying and there’s no return, “and I just know he’d loved you more than anything,”

One fifty-five, one fifty-six, one fifty seven

“But it’s just gonna be me, baby,” you say, taking a chance to wipe your eyes, “It’s gonna be okay. I’ll remember him for you. I’ll love him enough for the both of us,”

The girl, the one that called CPS, is ushered into the campsite with her mother at her heels. She looks lost and confused, but shocked. Her mother soothes her pain with a soft hand and kind eyes. It’s the selfless kind of love that Y/N wishes she got to witness Spencer feel. It would have been beautiful to watch him grow as a dad, to love someone so much his heart felt like it was going to burst.

One ninety-seven, one ninety-eight, one ninety-nine-

“Y/N!” he screams, through a cough filled with smoke, “Y/N,” Spencer calls, his wild eyes trying to find you amidst the chaos of the crowd, “I’m coming, I’m okay,”

He finally sees you and you take off, running at full speed into his arms. You collapse onto the ground, a pile of tears and sighs of relief. Spencer’s hands paw at your shirt, looking for something to grip, something to keep him from drifting away from you. You hug him so tightly you don’t think he can breathe. His face searches yours, like he’s reminding himself of the person he fell in love with. He looks like he can fall in love all over again.

The chaos is nothing but background noise when Spencer kisses you. It’s all teeth and you couldn't have had a better kiss. He smells like smoke and his lips are raw, like he’s been beaten. But his skin is warm and he’s breathing into your neck. He’s alive and his mouth is on yours. He can’t get enough; his hands cup your cheek to hold you steady as his kisses grow more and more sloppy. Spencer kisses your eyes, your cheeks, your nose, your neck, your jaw.

“You’re alive,” you cry out, your voice raw and achy, “you’re alive,”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Spencer says, pressing kisses to your belly, “I’m not leaving my family anytime soon,”

#spencer reid #spencer reid blurbs

[nevermindirah]

part 4, orders: How every character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood relates to the main character, Nile Freeman

Nile joining the team both magnifies and changes the others’ existing character traits and relationship dynamics. Remember what we got in the train scene? Joe and Nicky are the competent ones, Booker is the semi-competent drunk, Andy is the fucking depressed boss. Let’s look at how that changes over the course of their time with Nile.

Andy gives Nile tons of orders, start to finish. She's the boss, and we've already talked about USMC Corporal Nile Freeman accepting orders from Andy just like she does from her COs. (I was about to say the only difference from the Marine Corps is now Nile can and does say so if she disagrees with orders, but Nile fucking argued — "but I'm fine" — when her sergeant told her she was being sent to Germany for more tests, fuck I love Nile so much)

Most of Andy's orders are about missions, and we also see Booker and Joe give orders in this vein. Booker reinforces Andy's orders when he and Nile are alone in the church waiting for “the signal” that Andy's done slaughtering an entire mercenary team by herself. Joe orders the whole team, Nile included but not particularly focused on, to "cover Andy" in the lab fight.

Over the course of the movie, Andy goes from seeing Nile as a new dependent to deal with to seeing her as a delightful sister in arms and her heir apparent. Early in their acquaintance Andy does a lot of telling Nile what to do beyond what's necessary for missions, like two separate times instructing Nile to go to bed.

Talking to Nile about going to bed happens to be a super interesting and efficient distillation of how this movie characterizes the dynamics between Nile and the other immortals:

Andy: On the plane, "If I were you, I’d get some sleep," followed by in the cave, "You know how it works, Nile. Get some sleep while you can."

Nicky: At dinner, when Nile looks overwhelmed af after learning that their immortality eventually ends, "It is a lot to understand. I think you should get some rest. Come with me. I’ll show you."

Booker: In the cave, immediately after Andy tells Nile to get some sleep while she can, "I brought you a change of clothes."

“Do this” vs “I think you should do this” vs “if you want to do this I arranged something that might help”. Coming from, respectively, the boss, half of the mom-friend couple, and the other member of Team Baby.

This same dynamic is reinforced over something much more serious than sleeping: Nile communicating with her family. And this is a big place where we see the dynamics start to change.

We don't see Andy directly forbid Nile from talking to her family, but we know Andy confiscated Nile's phone, and we see Andy make Nile hand her phone back over after their conversation outside the cave. (Nile clings to her phone for another moment, looking at the lockscreen picture of her family, then hands it over without Andy having to say anything.) We also see Andy tell Booker to tell Nile that talking to her family won't help.

Booker obeys that order. He doesn't directly tell her what to do, he gives her information and lets her draw her own conclusions, but it's clear he thinks there's a right answer and a wrong one: he tells Nile how his family reacted to his immortality, and he talks about it like it's a foregone conclusion that Nile's family will react the same way. (It's also clear that he's having a trauma response and not considering the ways in which her family is operating from a pretty different understanding of the world than his was — he's not giving fully rational advice. He was wrong and here’s a funny joke at his expense that you can reblog!)

From start to finish, Andy thinks she knows best. She insists on going first into the penthouse despite Nile's very reasonable point that only one of them is bulletproof and it's not Andy. (Not one bit coincidentally, this is the exact same argument she'd had with Copley at the very start of this sequence. Nile won the argument with Copley, but not with Andy.) In the closing scene, Nile says "maybe this is the why, Andy," and Andy integrates this feedback from her direct report just like she did with the boys' dream-intel back on the train, and Andy makes the final decision and informs Copley he will now be working for them.

It's crucial that while Andy's "I know best" attitude extends to what Nile should do, and the boys agree with Andy and back her up on this, they all treat Nile as a full-ass adult. The boys give Nile information, they give her advice, they give her resources, but they don't ever force her to do anything. Andy only ever does two things to force Nile to obey: knocking Nile unconscious and driving her miles across empty desert, and confiscating her phone.

When Nile refuses to go into Copley's house and asserts that she still has time with her family, Andy accepts it — she doesn’t argue, and she even gives Nile the car. By the end of the movie, Andy's given Nile her phone back. Andy’s still the boss, and she’ll still give Nile plenty of orders in the field right alongside the others, but there will be no more confiscating resources, and there will be no more telling Nile to go to bed.

Next up, these character arcs and relationship dynamics continue in how the other immortals answer Nile's questions, how they share information with her. I hope you like transcript quotes, bc the next post has a lot of them! Credit and appreciation to StarWatcher for transcribing the movie here on AO3.

#nile freeman #andromache the scythian #yusuf al kaysani #nicolo di genova #sebastien le livre #immortal family #dirah discusses tog team dynamics #tog meta #tog #mine #userhayls