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shalotttower · 5 months

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Pholcus phalangioides

Title: Pholcus phalangioides

Fandom: The Collector (2009). Can be read as an original inspired by the source, because I took some creative liberties.

Summary: There's a spider in your bathroom, it lives under the mirror cabinet and you a) don't want to kill it, and b) are too scared to touch it, so now you can either keep giving it one side eye after another, or ask your neighbour for help.

Word count: 4000+

Characters: Asa Emory x Reader

Notes: yandere Asa, spiders and insects descriptions, stalking, voyeurism of sort - Asa watches Reader without her realizing it, kidnapping, vague hinting on body horror, non-con touching, Reader is socially awkward. Asa is not 100% in-movie-character Asa (he actually talks lol), a huge chunk of him is based on my headcanons.

You have this problem - a spider problem, to be precise. Not that it's too big of a deal, but...it also is.

Spiders are generally okay.

They eat unwanted guests, like flies and mosquitos or even other spiders. Make cool webs, which is probably one of the most complicated forms of art, not to mention a mathematical pattern to it - a combination of radial and circular symmetry. The golden ratio in nature.

In general they're important for keeping a backyard ecosystem nice and intact.

But.

But there is a spider in your bathroom, right under the sink cabinet, with thin legs, a long body, and of course - eyes. Quiet, kept to itself, really chill spider who doesn't move much except to crawl around a little and sometimes look at you when it catches you looking.

It probably lived in hiding somewhere, before deciding that dark spaces weren't up to its standards anymore and making an appearance. You haven't swatted it away, caught it, struck it with a paper - mostly because you're not good at killing living creatures, and secondly because the spider isn't doing any harm, just observing your every step, and generally being present.

When you check your makeup bag, it watches. When you brush your teeth, it watches. When you close the cabinet door it wiggles and your heart goes "ee" as if someone shocked it with a static charge. This yellowish-brown witness of your everyday activities, silently approving and judging, lately makes you feel like a nuisance in your own bathroom. You desperately wish there was a way to make it move to another corner. A less centralized one, less straight in your face. Yet the thought of touching it makes you cringe inwardly; your mind conjures images of different scenarios involving spider-related unpleasantries - accidentally squashing it, or getting bitten and dying a slow, miserable death.

It's gotta go.

Because the more you see it, the more your brain tries to assign it human features. And the longer it stares, the bigger the chance it might grow a pair of lips to say "get out of my bathroom".

The thought comes to you in the morning while setting a breakfast plate on the kitchen counter. The house is quiet, all windows are open and you stare through one of them at your neighbour's fence. You rarely see him, though the parked car is always a giveaway of his presence. Emory, that's what the mailbox says, and he has a neat garden, not an extravagant type, but everything is carefully trimmed and arranged into simple patterns.

There's even a stone bench by a small tree. Does it actually get used on sunny days? Probably no. He seems like a loner, from what you've seen so far: tall and pale, with wire-rimmed glasses and still grey eyes. Very focused and put together, a turtleneck and dark trousers kind of Mister. Never waving when passing by, though he does glance sometimes - sharp and attentive.

Once you caught him leaning over a bush with back straight and head hanging low. Your stomach gave this funny, nervous twitch, like when a stranger tries to start a conversation in public. He looked your way and then resumed whatever he was doing.

"Whatever" appeared to be something small, sharp limbs and a shiny body. It looked like a beetle, stretched to an absurd degree, and the way he held that thing felt strangely intimate. The same way you'd cradle a baby animal in your hands, rubbing its forehead with a fingertip. Emory put it in a plastic box, sealed it, and went into his house, not sparing you another glance.

This particular memory - of long fingers and a careful grasp - is what makes you think that maybe, possibly, theoretically, he could handle one pesky spider for you. You've seen him with insects a couple of times after, no doubt Mr. Emory is one of those who glue bugs to display boards. The creepy friend in the bathroom must be right up his alley then.

Five minutes later the two of you are staring at each other in awkward silence. Bothering barely acquainted neighbours isn't usually high on your list of priorities, especially if said neighbours look like they prefer being alone. You know it's odd, you know it probably crosses some boundaries, yet here you are.

With a crease on his brow and a tight mouth, Emory isn't thrilled at this sudden visit. Maybe he was in the middle of something, or is just uncomfortable with people invading his space. In any case, you clear your throat.

"Good morning. I live in the house across the road. The white porch? With-"

"I know," it's a dry reply. Not rude, more matter-of-factly; his eyes are fixed on you with a hint of unsettling peculiarity which makes you shift from one foot to the other.

He's not pest control, you think. Or obligated to help in any way. Emory can tell you to kindly fuck off right now and close the door, why did you even come here? It's stupid and intrusive. You're almost ready to take it all back and go home, pretend like nothing happened and just deal with that spider yourself, when he speaks again.

"What do you need?"

He has a quiet voice, a very even direct tone that doesn't encourage small talk, but prompts answers. Now and without pointless filling.

"I know how it's going to sound," you start, cringing inside, "and apologize in advance for bothering you, but I had an impression you collect...bugs."

"Insects. Arachnids."

"Right. So I was thinking if you'd mind removing a spider from my bathroom. I don't want to kill it, but I can't- I can't touch it."

His gaze slowly shifts from your face to the house behind you. As if Emory has an x-ray vision, or a complete mental map of your household layout. Ha, this would be ridiculous. There's no apparent disapproval in his pale face, but something else, a different kind of assessment. Evaluation of how much it is worth spending time on someone with an overgrown lawn? His eyes return back and you feel pinned down.

The longer he stays silent, the more you wish for the ground to open and swallow you whole.

"If you can't I totally understand-"

"What kind of spider?"

It's your turn to stare. How are you supposed to know, you've never studied spider biology. It looks like any other common variety, except creepier because it refuses to leave its spot and stay in the sewer where it belongs. "I...light-brownish, with long legs. Thin? Slender," there's more you could add but any further description will probably make you sound like a total dunce who can't recognize basic arachnids. "Kind of big."

You expect a 'sure', maybe 'I'll be there shortly' or 'no'. What you get is Emory moving past you and walking up your front porch. The scent of laundry detergent and soap, very clean, hits your nose before you rush to open the door.

"Uhm. Second floor," you explain, awkwardly shuffling after him. For the first time since the day you moved in, you worry about what someone might see inside the house. As far as clutter goes, your place is acceptable, perhaps a few forgotten cups around and yesterday's sweater thrown on a couch. Surely, it's not too bad.

Emory, however, doesn't seem interested in the surroundings. The staircase doesn't even creak under his weight, despite the house being around a century old. He steps over the little border which always makes you trip if you walk too fast, like it's not there. Like the corner you often bump your hip into doesn't exist either. He navigates your home with effortless precision, an inward kind of certainty that makes your eyebrows rise. Maybe...the houses on your street have the same blueprint.

Either way, he walks into your bathroom without hesitation, turning on the light. You hover by the doorway, unsure: should you offer something to drink, ask him if he needs anything else or just step away and leave him to do his thing?

The spider is there, hiding under the cabinet, when Emory leans over to observe it. He's probably seen many different specimens, you think, and this isn't interesting at all compared to the ones who have an intricate design or unique behavior.

"She's a part of the Pholcidae family," Emory says suddenly. Just like that there's 'she', instead of 'it', and the spider twitches and shifts. "Daddy long-legs. Harmless."

He puts his palm up close to its back. At first, it seems startled, but after a moment slowly calms down, and moves a leg - left then right - getting familiar with his hand.

"Docile creatures," Emory continues, while the spider walks along the edge of his palm. No running around, no random leaps, stick-like limbs touch and probe him with curiosity, much like you'd study something new. "They stay in the dark, hide in the corners while feasting on smaller things. Your intruder is a useful tenant."

It makes you feel slightly nauseous, how nonchalant he is about holding something that prompts recoil on instinct.

"Do you want to hold her?" Emory turns to you and there's a faint, strange smile on his lips. It doesn't reach his eyes and makes him look like an alien who tries to mimic human expressions based only on observation. His pupils are so dark that you can barely tell the difference between the irises and the rest. They seem bottomless, absorbing all light, but reflecting none in return. You take one step backwards, shaking your head.

"I'll pass."

He keeps staring at you for what feels like forever before returning his attention to the spider crawling on his skin. Emory reaches into his back pocket for a small container.

"Are you not setting her outside?" You ask. "She...she doesn't look like, uh, a rare species."

Not that you're an expert.

"No," Emory closes the lid with a quiet click. "She isn't one. But I'm going to keep her."

And he does. The little captive spider rests at the very bottom of a plastic case when you send the man on his way and thank him for the help. Emory accepts it with a nod, no further words, and then there's only his back when he leaves. The morning air rushes in, crisp and fresh, smelling like grass, tree leaves and soil.

It feels like you blink, and three days go by. You still keep an eye on the bathroom cabinet by some sort of habit, however there's nothing out of the ordinary lurking there, no creepy critters and definitely no thin legs scattering in multiple directions. All is well, now you can brush your teeth, take care of business and even lean close without fear something might fall on your head.

It's just a spider. You googled it later, and how common it is around the continents should be a bit ridiculous. Keeping it might equal to going on a beach and picking the most unremarkable pebble you see; Emory certainly could find hundreds more Daddy long-legs wherever he pleased - parks, gardens or forests.

So...why?

The question gnaws at you, together with that smile and cold grey eyes hidden behind glasses' frames. The weirdest part wasn't the expression, it was how you couldn't read it. Despite the obvious display of human emotion, however misplaced and alien, it failed to reveal anything. The smile was there, and yet nothing broke through it, not amusement, nor politeness - or any kind of feeling whatsoever.

Your neighbour is odd.

Not necessarily scary, though there's a sense of mystery surrounding him, it makes you feel like standing next to an iceberg and only seeing its tip. Or you've just read far too many psychological thrillers and your imagination likes to conjure up the wildest scenarios, trying to turn each and every thing into something sinister.

Maybe you should just chill and get some tea, and stop being so dramatic about a guy who came over and politely removed a spider for you.

They're not a unique species. Not even remotely uncommon.

He taps the container gently with his index finger, making the spider move back and forth. She doesn't have venom, no poisonous chemicals to injure and kill. Hiding in abandoned corners she does, patient and careful, waiting to catch the wrong fly.

You're just like her. Nothing exciting. Not unique.

Your movement patterns are similar, concealed in a different package you're still predictable: getting home from work, cooking dinner, watching TV shows. Everyday routines.

Fear is a part of your nature. Awkwardness which comes with socializing: you shuffle when uncomfortable, avoid prolonged eye contact and don't like confrontation, he noticed this right away. A quiet type, keeping mostly to yourself unless you need something urgently; and then you rush, like a scared Daddy long legs. There's this shiftiness, an inner desire to be less visible, but also a yearning for recognition because the lack of it hurts. And he saw all those small things, catalogued them one by one, as you moved into his street and became a constant presence.

Asa has never thought about keeping something - someone - so mundane before. Never. He likes rare things, spectacular, and those collected in the basement, they all are, especially when he's finished with them. They're extraordinary, displayed under glass cases and preserved for eternity.

He doesn't collect common species. Daddy long-legs are abundant everywhere around him.

But.

There's the way you linger by the kitchen window during the morning routine, slowly sipping hot coffee. When your lips purse and eyes lose focus for a moment. Or how the corners of them wrinkle sometimes when you have a genuine, amused laugh. It's something like warmth. There's no label for the feeling - positive, negative or neutral, it just is, like one single, meaningless element in an ecosystem.

He shouldn't want someone so average.

And yet Asa watches from the corner of your living room, crouched on the floor by a plant.

You don't hear him, too invested in your personal bubble. Well, he had enough time to polish his craft and figure out how soundless he can be when moving through spaces, how much weight he needs to place onto soles to avoid creaking wood and floorboards.

It's interesting to see you interact with your environment, unaware of being watched. There's an invisible pattern behind each action, even if you think everything is randomized. The web you wove around yourself is cozy, and Asa follows its threads while you check the phone and frown at whatever notification pops up. He is considering. Contemplating this impulsive desire he has yet to identify.

Would it be worth it? Keeping you. Adding you to the collection and seeing what comes out of it, how far his usual approach might take him with you in the same conditions. You're just a face with features. So...ordinary. He wants to pick you apart and look inside to make sure it's not some strange sort of mimicry, camouflage of a different nature hiding something else entirely.

There's this vague idea how those features may feel when touched. He can recall them accurately, even when you've never stood too close. Asa watches quietly from his hiding place, memorizing a displeased mumble and then a frustrated gesture.

You seem so alive.

Those below who are frozen in time now were too, before Asa decided to give them a purpose and make something special and worthy of his attention. They were alive like you, but now they're something better.

What purpose you have remains to be seen.

Asa decides then.

A plain trunk is nestled in the corner behind a coat hanger, no fancy latch or keyhole needed, only an ordinary padlock. You'll fit in nicely, squeezed in the cramped space, it won't be the most comfortable experience, but it's not for long and then...then he can show you the room where others stayed before, and where you'll be next.

Asa looks around one last time: the front door is locked, blinds down, lights off - you get up from the couch and head upstairs, right on the dot. Your house is easy to navigate despite the darkness; Asa knows his way around it, having been here already more than once. A step after a step he follows the soft padding of your bare feet, and when the steps halt, he pulls out a cloth. It's a heavy kind of pleasure to be able to stand right behind and admire your nape, there's a strange sort of vulnerability to it.

Something raw and very exposed.

It takes only a few movements, he catches your yelp into one of his hands and holds it clasped tightly as you thrash. Your nails dig into the fabric of his turtleneck but fail to leave any marks. He's never tired of it, the initial fear of his specimens realizing that their secure habitats are ruined. He doesn't mind this fight for survival.

"Shh," Asa breathes into your ear. "Shh."

The struggle doesn't last long - you're not a fighter - and when your body goes limp, he picks you up. Your perfume is surprisingly light, a very sweet and pleasant aroma, not overwhelming at all like he'd expect it to be.

It's nice.

He puts you in the trunk, a boxy space barely big enough to fit you curled on the side, it's going to take around thirty minutes to reach the hotel and another three to put you in the right cell. You'll sleep the rest of the journey, which is fortunate for everyone. It's always easier to deal with a specimen if they're resting.

The lock clicks softly - it's time to go home.

Something runs down your cheek - a drop, a bead of sweat, a touch - and you blink, trying to make sense of it. The surroundings are unfamiliar, blurry shapes with undefined outlines that stretch and wobble before your eyes. Your jaw hurts, clenched so hard that teeth grind together, and it takes a conscious effort to relax.

Where...what?

The living room, a TV program, a soundless whisper that froze the hairs at your nape, then someone was behind you. You remember a sickly sweet smell, and after that nothing but a haze and the dark, and the sensation of being squeezed into a shape. Your legs feel numb, arms too, like you spent hours immobile in one position. Slowly the world sharpens back into focus, but instead of relief there's only dread.

You're in a room.

No bigger than a regular bathroom and void of any furniture beside a cot-like bed, a toilet in the corner and a sink. The walls are a bluish-gray with thin cracks, tiny fissures that create uneven lines from the ceiling all the way down to the floor.

And there's a man, observing you quietly through the thick glass.

You don't notice him immediately, too busy assessing your new location, and when you do the air feels heavier, difficult to move past your throat. He's wearing a mask. Black rubber or something, covering everything except his eyes. He presses two palms against the barrier separating you, the silence stretches into an eternity.

'Who are you? What do you want?' - these are kind of questions you should be asking, but they don't come out. You remain glued to the spot, counting the passing seconds by their painful tick-tock-tick-tocks. One minute turns into two, and he...just stares without moving a muscle in a beyond unnerving manner. Your gaze dips lower to check his clothes, perhaps find a pattern to identify this person later.

There's none. Everything is plain black, like a uniform made to be invisible - turtleneck, pants, even gloves and boots.

It seems that your silence somehow pleases him, because a few moments later he leaves without looking back.

You don't know how much time passes; there's not a window around, only a bare, stark bulb, yellowish in its brightness and casting unpleasant shadows all over the floor. Not a single sound. Traffic, voices of distant passersby or birds - all is absent and doesn't provide even a bit of understanding where the hell you are.

In the end, you...sit down on the bed and wait, because what else is there? Everything is eerily silent and very, very uncomfortable: this emptiness, the absence of noise, the endless ticking of an invisible clock. It's difficult not to cry, but you try your best, somehow it feels important to remain composed. There has to be a reason behind this. There must be one, and you repeat it over and over, like a mantra to soothe the nerves and present your mind with some semblance of logic: once you figure out what's going on, you'll figure out how to get out as well.

Pulling loose threads from your sleeve is poor entertainment, if anything, the strain of boredom and unease gradually grows into anxiety so sharp that you almost miss the sound of approaching footsteps.

He's back again, the masked stranger who stands in the doorway with hands clasped behind his back. A pair of light grey eyes is a splash of different color, but they are blank. They watch with distant curiosity of an animal trainer monitoring a newborn cub. The comparison makes something ugly squirm inside you. A part of you wants to make a run for it, the other keeps yelling that it would be immensely stupid.

One, two, three, four steps he takes into your cell. Your back meets the wall, the chill coming from its solid surface cuts right through the layers of clothing. Five, six. He stops only when there's less than arm's reach between you, then leans to brush away loose strands of hair sticking to your temples. Your stomach goes taut. This scent. Laundry detergent mixed with soap. The turtleneck, grey eyes, very collected kind of Mister.

A sickly shiver of revulsion shoots down your spine, making you curl tighter into a ball. Emory cups your jaw with both hands - they're cold even through the gloves material. This is too close, an unwanted and unpleasant violation of boundaries, and yet he continues to examine your face, like you're some sort of an object he can handle however he pleases.

Your cheek gets a light pat. Any theories about his identity stay unvoiced, mostly because you fear the reaction they might prompt. Something tells you that screaming is a bad idea too. 'Be quiet,' an insistent whisper says deep inside your skull, 'be still.'

His thumbs press to the corners of your mouth. "Open," he orders, and you can't not, even though the whole thing sounds and feels bizarre. "Wider."

There's a quiet click. A flashlight, of those small ones you can easily hold in one hand, shines right into your eyes, making them water from the unexpected brightness. "Don't bite or I'll remove all of your teeth."

It's a simple threat, delivered with such a calm tone, there's no need for yelling when words are that clear and straightforward.

He inspects your mouth, the edges of teeth and gums, your inner cheeks, and you let him, clenching your fists. There's not much you can do, at least that's what you keep telling yourself to ease the heavy, sinking feeling of powerlessness. Your mind chants 'too close' on a loop, urging to wiggle away; you stay. It's unclear what exactly he's looking for - dental or oral diseases, a sore throat, cavities, or the lack of them?

It lasts forever until he straightens back up and puts the light away.

"Good," Emory states. There's another pat to your head before he turns around to leave. "No biting."

The door panel slides with a soft hum, locking shut. And the silence, and the waiting, and the mind numbing monotony is back again.

#shalott fanfiction #yandere #the collector #the collector (2009)#asa emory #asa emory x reader #slasher fanfiction #slashers

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997 · 1 year

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Mister Mosquito (2001) Mister Mosquito 2: Let’s Go Hawaii (2003)

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bluxb3rry · 1 year

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❝𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐬!❞↳෴੭˚ ༘♡·˚₊˚ˑ༄ؘ 💙

Felix x male reader!

he/him pronouns! English is not my frist language!

More "has a lots of tattoos x doesn't have any tattoos" oneshot :D

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Felix Lee always liked to bake sweet things for his class, at frist he did it only for his friends, but then all the class liked his baking. So is just a normal thing at this point.

Right now is walking with a food container full with brownies, his class favorite thig from all his baking. While he was walking to his class he notices how there were more people looking at his class then normal, confused he got close to the one he knew the most.

-Jeongin?-the named looked at him

-oh, Hyung-

-"Oh"? what's going on?-he asked still confused

-um, theres a new guy in you'r class-

-so?-

-look-he grabed him and put him more close to the door, so he could look inside.

It was just a normal guy, just some tattoos and pirecings, he wasn't able to look well but some tattoos showed in the neck of the boy, also some i his hands and fingers, he seemed to have a snake bite type of piercing, and some others, and maybe some combinatios in his ears. But to be honest nothing else.

He looked at his friend

-still not know what are you talking about-

-It's y/n!-

-wHAT-

He looked at the boy again, nah no way, yeah knew that people may change but the last time that he saw this guys was when he was 10, being the best one in maths, and just an intelligent but introvert guy.

Who is this?

-Okay out of my class-the deep voice of a professor made everyone that wasnt from there leave, and the ones who where supossed to be inside ran to their seats.

Felix was in front of him, one seat at the left.

-well, now that everyone is more calm, i would like to introduce our new classmate, Y/N L/N-

He got up from his seat, giving a slight smile.

-nice to meet you all-

Felix just looked at him weird, he really changed and he wondered why they didn't talk anymore, did something else changed beside appearance?

-well with that done, lets start class-

Felix opened his notebook, ready to take note when a paper was thrown at him, suprised he opened it

"the principal want's you to show me the school Lix"

He looked behind him, meeting with the smile of y/n, looking in front again, sighing tired again.

Long day.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

After class, and some brownies sold, the boy with tattoos got in front of him.

-Hello Lix-he said looking down at him.

-Y/N...hi-he got up from his seat, looking at him, with a slight akward silence from the rest of the class-should we get going?

-yes captain-

Felix started walking, still with the food container of brownies since he knew some of his friends were gonna ask anyway, with Y/N following behind, and him explaining very short the different places.

-Did you forgot about me?-

-huh?-he looked at him-what are you talking about?-he asked

-Well...you don't say anything about the time i was gone, can't blame you though, i didn't ask neither-he said, walking now in front of him, to the vending machine

-oh well, i didn't knew where to start, um-Felix saw how the male put a coin a selected the bottle of milk-those tattoos...when?

-some of them two years ago, some one month ago-he opened the bottle-i just liked them, the same with the piercings

-you changed...-

-maybe, im still a fucking nerd to-y/n laughed a little, resting in the wall

-not an introvert to-Felix said, resting beside him

-mmh, what makes you say that?-he asked with a smirk

-the little mosquito bite in you'r neck-he smiled

Y/n looked at his neck with his phone, not seeing anything.

-mmmh, not an introvert huh?-

-haha, look mister Lee, i may have sex, but, that doesn't mean i like going out-y/n said laughing a little bit

-if you say so-he looked at his bottle of milk-hey want some brownies?

-it has drugs in it?-

-wha-No! jesus just normal brownies..Do you-?-Felix was about to ask

-nah, i just make jokes and yes i do want some brownies please-

Felix gave him some, seeing how he ate it and drank some milk later.

-mmh good combination, thanks-

Felix looked at nothing while a comfort silence filled the air

-well, we should get going mister rebel-Felix said watching the time

-mmmmh if you say so-he trow the bottle and finished his brownie

Y/n hugged him, resting his face between his neck and schould

-you must be kidding me...-Felix protested

Yet he hugged him to.

-i missed you-

-i missed you too Lix-

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

#stray kids x reader #skz x male reader #stray kids x male reader #stray kids #skz fanfic #skz #stray kids fanfic #lee felix #stray kids felix #felix x male reader #male reader #x male reader #kpop x male reader #gay

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hiaon · 6 months

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"Fun fact: Did you know ___ But you already knew that.."

[This user no longer available.]

Disclaimer!: Angst

You

Btw do you know that Starfish that doesn't have a brain ☝️☝️☝️

William

Ahh.. That's probably why Patrick is so dumb lmfaooo 🤠

You

You're so right 😔 but poor starfishes

1 day later

You

Hi!! Do you want to hangout with my NEWW friend? She's new to my school soo don't scare her away!!

William

Sure sure, I'm not even going to talk to her 🙄

You

Heyy don't be mean to her 😶😶.. But did you know that Polar bears have dark skin??

William

What. I thought it was white like how cats are usually are-

You

Ikrr!! It was such an important information ☝️☝️

William

It was 💯

4 hours later after hanging out with Ashley

William

Ashley is actually really nice.

You

Yupp she might be your future girlfriend ooohhhh~~

William

Don't be ridiculous.

You

Hm.. Did you know that the only mammal that can fly is a bat!

William

Wait- what's a mammal again.?

You

Uhhh wait a minute

William

No I asked you, not Google ☺️☺️

You

Ugh. I don't know 😞

William

Dumbass.

You

You we're the one that asked a question ⁉️ Not me, so clearly you're the stupid one here mister

2 Days later without any contact.

You

Willyy, do you want to hang out with me?

William

Not right now, I'm hanging out with Ashley.

You

Oh. Well then, do you know Sea otters hold hands so they don't drift apart. They are so cutee

William

Oh Ashley just told me that earlier.

You

Oh, alright

1 day later

You

Willyyyy can you pleaseee hang out with mee

William

I mean you can join me with Ashley

You

Okayokay I'll be theree

William

Just don't make us wait.

You

Sheeshg no need to be so cold 🥶

2 days later

You

Did you know that a shrimp's heart is in its head?

William

A shrimp's heart is in its head.

You

WOWZERS we almost said the same thinggg!!

William

Ashley said that to me.

You

Ohh, okayy

4 hours later

You

Willy can I talk to you alone for a second??

William

I can't right now, I'm with Ashley. You can just tell me in the phone, I don't have the time for this.

You

Ahh okay it's alright it wasn't important anyways

William

What a waste for time, don't text me if it wasn't that important.

You

Sure

5 days later without any contact

William

Mosquitoes are kinda annoying, but they are kinda cool.

You

Huh? I thought you hated them??

William

My perspective was changed after Ashley told me about cool facts about it.

You

Cool cool

4 days without any contact

You

Heyya Willy do you want to hangout like the old times?? It's been a while

William

I can't, I'm with Ashley rn.

You

Ah, right, like always. You've been hanging out with her more often than me now..

William

Is that bad.?

You

It's like, your forgetting about me.

William

You know I'm going to be here with you always.

You

You're the only true friend I ever had.

William

Hey.

You

Tell me, William. Is Ashley your only true friend .?

William

Hey [N/N]. Why aren't you using my nickname, your starting to stress me out.

Seen

Hey. Don't leave me on read.

Seen

Hey!!

1 day later

William

Hello? Are you still mad at me?

Seen

1 day later

William

Hey. I really miss you, where are you I don't see you at school anymore.

It was stupid of me that I could replace my only best friend like that.

The time has finally come, I actually admitted that I'm stupid.

Seen 2 minutes ago

Hey.. stop ignoring me..

Seen

1 day later

William

Btw did you know, your eyes blink around 20 times a minute.

Your ears never stop growing.

Earwax is actually a type of sweat.

Sent 10 minutes ago

You're not even bothering to see my messages.

"Did you know that Starfishes doesn't have a brain? But.. you already knew that."

[This user is no longer available.]

Inspired by: tt- @yzyharukn

Made me cry a little bit too much-

[250 likes special✓]

#Spotify #angst #x male reader #x you #oneshot #fun facts

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posthumanwanderings · 10 months

Video

[ Ka 2: Let's Go Hawaii (PS2) - Rena's Room (NoPlay) ]

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saitama-vs · 6 months

Text

Hello. THis is the big list of all the results, sorted alphabetically. Warning: LONG LIST UNDER CUT.

Aang from Avatar: the Last Airbender 41.0%

Ahti the Janitor from Control 52.8%

Akinator from Akinator 47.8%

Amelia Bedelia 80.8%

Amy Wong from Futurama 31.4%

Arale Norimaki from Dr. Slump (and one episode of Dragon Ball Super) 78.3%

Assassinlan Pasalan from The Battle Cats 54.0%

Astarion Acunin from Baldur's Gate 3 8.5%

Bambi from Bambi 19.1%

Barney the Dinosaur from Barney and Friends 27.8%

Batman 11.4%

Beedle from The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword 52.5%

Bennett from Genshin Impact 18.3%

Bocchi from Bocchi the Rock 55.7%

Boyfriend from Friday Night Funkin' 22.2%

Brassmo the Chao from Saltydkdan 83.2%

Buggy the Clown from One Piece 37.9%

Bugs Bunny 86.2%

Bunga from The Lion Guard 25.0%

Burgerpants from Undertale 34.7%

Captain Biceps from Captain Biceps 22.9%

Cats from Real Life 76.4%

Cecil Palmer from Welcome to Night Vale 72.1%

Charlie Kelly from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia 24.1%

Chell from Portal 54.9%

Chompy from Bug Fables 87.2%

Clover from Homestuck 57.1%

Columbo from Columbo 79.3%

Connecticut Clark 71.9%

Dan from Dan VS. 38.6%

Death from Discworld 63.7%

Discord from My Little Pony 34.2%

Ditto from Pokemon 57.0%

Divecat build Purrloin from Competitive Pokemon 62.8%

Dougie Jones from Twin Peaks: the Return 43.5%

Ebony Dementia Darkness Raven Way from My Immortal 45.8%

Eduardo from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends 40.3%

Fear from Inside Out 23.0%

FEAR rattata from Competitive Pokemon 57.5%

Figment the Dragon from EPCOT 47.0%

Flabébé from Pokémon 36.9%

Flan from Everhood 41.6%

Flora Reinhold from Professor Layton 72.2%

Fumihiko Takaba from Jujutsu Kaisen 62.9%

Gamzee Makara from Homestuck 41.5%

Genie from Aladdin (1992) 66.2%

Genie from Aladdin (2019) 14.3%

Gir from Invader Zim 61.5%

Gnome Ann from Xkcd 85.6%

Gorgeous Freeman from Gorgeous Freeman 56.8%

Gotrek Gurnisson from Warhammer Fantasy 63.1%

Hatsune Miku 73.8%

Holly Jolly from Sleepless Domain 72.6%

Homura Akemi from Madoka Magica 28.1%

Imposter from Among Us 50.5%

Ingo and Emmet from Pokemon 47.7%

Isca the Unbeaten from X-Men 3.1%

Jailbot from Superjail 46.2%

Jerry from Tom & Jerry 89.7%

Joltik from Pokémon 68.7%

Kabal from Mortal Kombat 23.2%

Kanade Yoisaki from Proseka 33.3%

Karl the Raccoon from Bungou Stray Dogs 84.9%

Kira from Death Note 16.9%

Kirby 86.8%

Kobeni from Chainsaw Man 53.4%

Kyubey from Madoka Magica 20.6%

Lamb from Cult of the Lamb 51.5%

Larry the Cucumber from Vegetales 48.2%

Leeroy Jenkins from World of Warcraft 37.2%

Link from The Legend of Zelda 22.0%

Luigi, While Doing Nothing 79.3%

Luo Binghe from Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System 43.4%

Macbeth 15.6%

Madoka Kaname from Madoka Magica 49.0%

Magda from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild 67.0%

Mandy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy 52.6%

Maxwell from Scribblenauts 75.4%

Melissa Foddebrat from Beware the Villainess 40.5%

Metal Cat from The Battle Cats 51.6%

Mindy from Animaniacs 58.4%

Minimoose from Invader Zim 82.3%

Mio Naganohara from Nichijou 80.3%

Mister Invincible from Mister Invincible 76.3%

Mister Miracle from DC Comics 37.0%

Mob from Mob Psycho 100 41.2%

Monkey D. Luffy in Gear Fifth 25.6%

Monokuma from Danganronpa 16.1%

Mosquito from One Punch Man 76.1%

Mr. Bean from the Mr. Bean Show 51.1%

Nahida from Genshin Impact 15.4%

Neco-Arc from Tsukihime 70.9%

One of Every Pokemon 44.5%

Orko from He Man/Masters of the Universe 53.4%

Peegue from Return to Wonderland/Wonderland Secret Worlds/the Wonderland Adventures trilogy 59.1%

Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney 57.4%

Percy Jackson from Percy Jackson and the Olympians 10.1%

Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb 66.4%

Pikmin from Pikmin 77.4%

Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony 90.4%

Plank from Ed, Edd, N' Eddy 74.7%

Plankton from Spongebob 29.1%

Pop Fizz from Skylanders 41.6%

Princess Tutu from Princess Tutu 63.4%

Prismo from Adventure Time 61.2%

Q from Star Trek 33.3%

Raku-Chan from Nyan Neko Sugar Girls 42.1%

Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100 41.5%

Remy from Ratatouille 54.2%

Rick Shades from Epithet Erased: Prison of Plastic 16.6%

Rio Mason Busujima from Hypnosis Mic 29.6%

Roadrunner from Looney Tunes 93.8%

Roger Rabbit from Who Framed Roger Rabbit 66.1%

Ryan, the 'I Like Trains' kid from ASDFMovie 68.1%

Saiki Kusuo from The Disasterous Life of Saiki K 65.7%

Saint from Rain World 56.4%

@saitama-vs 30.3%

Sans from Undertale 51.3%

Santa Claus 64.2%

Saxton Hale from TF2 43.5%

SCP-682, The Hard-to-Destroy Reptile 24.2%

Shedinja from Pokemon 72.5%

Sissel from Ghost Trick 68.3%

Six Balls from Scum Villains Self Saving System 70.1%

Socioeconomic Inequality from Real Life 72.3%

Spider Ham 53.0%

Spies from Spy vs Spy 45.3%

Squirrel Girl from Marvel Comics 83.5%

Stanley from The Stanley Parable 49.0%

Starchild Dave Bowman from 2001 34.7%

Steve from Big Top Burger 81.7%

Stuart Little from Stuart Little 23.7%

Swarm of Bees from Real Life 83.5%

Tenma Tsukasa from Project SEKAI 39.9%

The Animaniacs 86.9%

The Cabbage Merchant from Avatar: The Last Airbender 33.6%

The Djinn from Twisted: the Untold Story of a Royal Vizier 86.5%

The Great Gazoo from The Flintstones 55.7%

The Goose from Untitled Goose Game 94.3%

The Gopher from Caddyshack 79.4%

The Groke from Moomins 73.5%

The Midnight Crew from Homestuck 23.9%

The Monty Python Rabbit 64.8%

The Penguins from Madagascar The results of this one are complicated

The Pink Panther from The Original Pink Panther Cartoons 87.5%

The Swan from Hot Fuzz 90.7%

The TF2 Mercs The results of this one's complicated

The Tick from The Tick (1994) 34.7%

Tom Bombadil from Lord of The Rings 80.5%

V1 from ULTRAKILL 65.9%

Vriska from Homestuck 36.2%

Xi Ping/Xi Shiyong/Tai Sui from Tai Sui 34.2%

Yonah from Nier Replicant 28.6%

You 22.6%

Youngster Joey's Top Percentage Rattata 37.9%

#not saitama poll

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