#Must psychoanalyze

[multifandumbmeg]

Subtle JJ things I noticed that keep me up at night:

1. The way they changed the styling of his clothes from season 1 to season 2. Season one he's already pretty ripped but he mostly wears these loose-fitting tshirts and cutoffs that make him look cute, lanky, and unthreatening. Season 2 he mostly wears tight-fitting tshirts that make him look CONSIDERABLY beefier and generally is seen wearing more layers- it's technically Fall but he covers up more than other characters do and it has the effect of him seeming more closed off and isolated than the others, which he is. Season three his style is somewhere in between, not super tight but not lanky and loose either, like he's found a better balance.

2. His drinking. Season 1 he's partying a lot with beer and frankly, high most of the time. Season 2 he starts carrying around the flask- presumably liquor, not beer- and drinking non-socially. Before school. At John B's "funeral". That night they're stranded with Kie and Pope on the way to Charleston. The others aren't drinking at all, nor does he offer them some, then he seemingly (to Kie) falls asleep with the open flask in hand... Like he's been drinking himself to sleep, and this has probably become a habit. This is clearly because he's depressed, and though I think John B's "death" is the catalyst, it's clearly not the only reason as it continues through season 2, for example the aforementioned Charleston trip. I think John B's death, going no-contact with his dad, living alone at the chateau, Pope and Kie's relationship, have all led him to feel extremely isolated and he's clearly coping with substances even worse than before. Not to mention he's free of his dad for the first time, completely after he leaves OBX, which means for the first time in his life he's probably processing his trauma, which is what tends to happen once you find yourself no longer in a continually traumatizing situation. That would also account for his moodiness and increasing dependence on substances. I think it's also interesting we see him smoking weed less, but drinking more heavily. I think they did this to show a marked change in his already concerning substance use from season 1 from "bad coping mechanism, gets him through the day in relatively good spirits" to genuinely concerning and potentially volatile, over-using a substance his biological was known to be addicted to. Note this abruptly ends at the end of season 2 with being stranded on the island with all the Pogues. There are zero substances on the island, but it's clear it's the happiest he's ever been. A lot goes down after they get off the island but he seems to minimally fall back into old patterns in season 3. Apart from hanging out and partying a socially acceptable amount with his friends, the only time I remember him using is when he's drinking beers alone at his house- when he gets home and everyone's reuniting with their families and when he's fighting with Kiara because of their moment. When he feels alone and scared. I'm curious to see his development in season 4.

3. His lack of fear/loss of fear in death. Bro, nobody talks about how differently he reacts to danger between seasons 1 and 2. All throughout season 1, JJ is an anxious wreck and his response to being threatened is always submission, fear, and an instinct to run. When there's guns on him he gets the fuck down. He puts his hands up. He looks visibly terrified. Multiple times you can see him VISIBLY shaking. When the thugs are attacking Miss Lana, he's trembling with his eyes closed and trying not to make a sound. He begs John B to leave while it's happening and after when he sees her reaction. Even when Barry tries to rob them, furious though he is, he follows Barry's demands and doesn't fight back until John B starts it and makes an opportunity. As Kiara so aptly puts it, "he has the survival instincts of a cockroach." He does! But everything changes when he tries to grab the money and run from his dad. Again, he doesn't want a fight. But he gets one, and he's finally tired of it. He's been beat up and threatened and stolen from one time too many, and the threat of death is no longer a more powerful motivator than his wants. So he attacks his dad back and puts him in his place. He once again puts his hands up when Barry and Rafe come for him at the Phantom, but he doesn't look as scared. John B's "death" may be the final nail in the coffin, because starting season 2? He's not scared anymore when he should be. Despite the fact that he appears to be having panic attacks and worse anxiety than ever, every gun that's pointed at him or fight that breaks out he just rolls with. One of the only times I can see his survival instincts crop up in season 2 is when Kiara yells "murderer" at Ward seconds after he straight up killed someone with a gun, which is a normal human reaction and may have had more to do with protecting his friends. He just seems numb to most of the danger. Then again, season 3, he almost seems to find a balance. He's still doing some reckless things, and no longer cowering in the face of enemies, but he also knows who the dangerous people are, and when to wheel and deal or turn away and come fight another day.

Anyway, I'm very curious to see how he evolves in season 4, now that he's establishing his own life, financially secure, on good terms with all his friends and (hopefully) in a committed relationship. Let me know if I missed any other interesting character changes patterns for JJ or any other characters from the show! I would love to read/hear what you noticed and your own in-depth character analysis. JJ's my favorite character and a super rich text, so I tend to hyperfocus on him. Also if you want to request me to make one of these on one of the other characters let me know! I would love to zero in on them and see what I missed on my next watch-through.

#obx #outer banks #jj maybank #analysis #JJ Maybank character analysis #character analysis #Me when I read the text too deeply #Cannot consume media normally #Must psychoanalyze

[asweetprologue]

at first I thought that the game had sold my house to some random woman (thank u Clavia for sweeping but you scared the shit outta me) and then I was relieved to know that it was still link's, but then you get inside and all the stuff has been replaced w Zelda's stuff and her journal is in the bedroom and her secret well is down below. I know a bunch of people have said like oh they were living together and I thought that too at first (despite the one bed), but the more I hang around the village the more I'm convinced that Link just gave Zelda his house and kinda fucked off a little. it would go a long way towards explaining how everyone knows zelda but no one knows Link (though that seems to be a common theme), but the greatest evidence imo is when you talk to one of the kids from the school who's waiting for Zelda to return near the house. she asks link if he's going to "zelda's house" and says that zelda often leaves the village but always quickly returns. it seems based on this and the interior décor that the house now firmly belongs to zelda, and link was maybe a non presence in the village after the events of the first game. I wonder if he gave her the house as something of a retreat, a place where she could be alone and recover while also being close to Purah - one of the few other people she knows from Before - and the lab. meanwhile it doesn't seem like there's any space made for link in the house or the village. idk what it all means but I do have enormous feelings about Link giving up the one space that was really his so that zelda could have a home again after hers was destroyed

#long #bro idek #link and zelda's relationship in this specific iteration is so compelling to me #like your my best friend and my ward and my soulmate and i died for you #here's the keys to my house and I'll follow you wherever you want to go and listen when you talk and trust in your decisions #and I'll never say it's too much or that I need something for myself #like on the one hand i think link truly does love zelda and he wants whatever will make her happy #but I also wonder what kind of roll it must take on him #to always be the one making little sacrifices so that she can have what she needs #and what is he supposed to say? no? #how do you set boundaries with someone who gave up 100 years of her life to save everyone #who repeatedly sacrifices herself in huge ways and puts so much faith in you every time #how do you not take every available opportunity to try and repay that debt? #there's so much going on there #i wish the champions were around to psychoanalyze their relationship for me some more #urbosa queen i miss u #totk #tears of the kingdom #spoilers #totk spoilers #legend of zelda #zelda #link

[astxrwar]

i am a canon bucky girlie (bastard, weirdo, stubborn, intimidating) living in a fanon bucky world (sweetheart, suave, good at dating, "doll") and your characterization. i have been wandering in the desert for twenty long years and ive finally found an oasis. peace and love and checking for more bucky stuff every day

fellow fucked up guy enjoyer. just like me fr

#you’re that meme that’s like ‘canon character my beloved. fanon character my detested’ #i must admit before i had an interest in bucky i wrote fanon version because i didn’t care to psychoanalyze him. #but also tbh fanon exists because they gave sooo little to go off of before tfatws #literally SCRAPS. which is also why i didn’t rly care for him until recently #anyway! thank you love you mwah #ask #EDIT TO ADD IF UR REFERENCING COMICS i have no idea unfortunately. i am terminally mcu brained (derogatory)

[mystical-cinnamoon]

i am saying things i havent told anyone yet and it feels normal and safe

i wonder how far this will go

#will they see what The Rage™ says to me #we must find out #i feel like i'm reading a story but i'm also making decisions that change the plot #this is very interesting #i sound really detached from myself. #WHAT AM I DOING WHY AM I LIKE TRIPLE PSYCHOANALYZING MYSELF OKAY IM GOING TO SHUT UP NOW

[steevejr]

how can i possibly write a story that doesnt have arranged marriage in it. i;ll kill myself if i dont get my plot relevant arranged marriage trope. sorry.

#but only i can do it. no one else can do it right. sorry. #this is because i <3 lack of control and i <3 cheating and i <3 divorce. but everyone else thinks arranged marriage tropes are sexy(???) #you dont get it. its about the DIVORCE!!!!!!!!! the marital STRIFE!!!!!! the MESS!!!!!!!! its about doing it for the moneyyyyyyy #a day in the life of steeve #charlie cant write a story without 1. men with long hair 2. arranged marriage 3. mean women. someone psychoanalyze me. #AND BLOOD HOW COULD I FORFET BLOOD. MUST HAVE HOMOEROTIC BLOOD.

[grapecaseschoices]

list ten of your childhood ships

@laufire tagged me in this

this list, of course, isn’t comprehensive. it also doesn’t have most of main ships I point to when talking about FORMATIVE childhood/teenhood ships [Piper/Leo, Inuyasha/Kagome, Ron/Hermione, Jesse/Slater, Fran/Maxwell] -- well maybe I’ve never spoken about them on these blogs], but these ones are still probably revealing effective and were the ones clamoring in my head as I made this list.

This is also ships that were actually canon or definitely with the subtext. If we went into tinfoil hat territory, I’d be here forever.

Shayera x John. [JL/U]

Maria x Michael [roswell]

Angela x Shawn [boy meets world]

Cece x Niles [the nanny]

Max x Kyle [living single]

I feel like something is being said with this list ....

Maria x Captain [the sound of music]

Billy x Trini [Billy x Zach] [power rangers]

Max x Logan [Dark Angel]

Zhane x Andromeda [power rangers in space]

Lois x Clark [the new adventures of superman]

tagging: @flavioesposito @quaxorascal @dakotawritesif @moderarato @mt07131 @thee-morrigan @quinnorion @andthatisnotfake @lizzybeth1986 @galpal95  @queerdetectiveblue @finalgirl-horatio @plasticdodecagon @bakuyonce @thelittlestspider​ and whoever else so desires!! [no pressure either way]

#do not judge me #i was young #yall should be happy i didnt bring up gilmore girls #mess #ofc jkr is a terf. a nd the dude who played clark is a right-winger. and fran is a zionist??? [im 50% sure on fran] #so yeah #BUT LET'S FOCUS ON PSYCHOANALYZING ME #my childhood #grapecase posts #tag meme #child me apparently: #is arguing and getting under each 0ther's skin a I0ve Ianguage?? #me refusing t0 cr0p any 0f these pictures: SEE THEM!! #im aIs0 tired #pris reminded me i had a I0t 0f ships 0n that sh0w #aIs0 speaking 0n p0wer rangers -- i think that was my first 0t3 bef0re i reaIized what an 0t3 was #Iike biIIy and trini were IT but i enj0yed when zach was inv0Ived #chiId me: yeah theyre just friends! wh0 must be t0gether at aII times .. and im int0 aII tthe iterati0ns #lalala #d0nt at me i was Iike 5 #long post

[hallasimss]

🚲💋 and 🧸 for your most fav OC!

fav OC currently is split between Ha-sang and Abhi (my beloveds!!!) so i'll answer the first and last ones for Ha-sang (slightly rearranged bc uh. depending on how hot it gets in here the kiss one might need to go under the cut sksksksk) and leave the one in the middle for Abhilash—this might get long <333

🚲 : Does your OC enjoy playing the field? Or are they more monogamy-minded?

i feel like he leans slightly more towards one-to-one relationships more than anything else, although depending on the person he can be open to trying something new—monoflexible, is it? i'd say it might be the partial fear of abandonment, but this is some of the reason it usually takes him forever to get over break-ups (despite the fact that most of them have ended well) and is also why he's mainly been on and off with his uh, how should i put it, current situation. (not 'situation' as in derogatory, just 'situation' as it's way more complicated than the FWB that they started out with in the first place and we haven't figured out what we're going to do with that yet)

there's also a situation going on with his ex-boyfriend (*cough* Sun-wook *cough*) but those two have had that going on for at least five or six years by now, it's once a year, mutual and they know what they're doing—if the two of them could tell me what that is, of course, rather than filling my brain with plot rot about the much more unstable pairing on Ha-sang's end (which might be revealed. if i haven't given it away in the tags of some of my inspo reblogs yet rip), it would be much appreciated

🧸 : Into public displays of affection or are they more reserved?

Abhi is going to hold your hand. he is going to hold your f*cking hand and probably be the clingiest partner you've ever had but it's fine!!! they're holding your hand bc they need to make sure it's big enough for theirs and also the 56 different shopping bags/luggage/various containers they're going to make you carry after that mall date. you have two hands tho don't worry you should be able to handle it

he's not much of a public kisser, tho at least if he is he hasn't told me sksksksk, but he'll go for a peck on the cheek when others are around. he also bites? behind closed doors like an extremely autistic and tender cat—you'll be reading a book and they'll be lying on your lap and if your arm is anywhere near them prepare for the gnawing. chomp chomp chomp we are biting you biting you biting you @rainymoodlet i hope it's ok to tag since this is Abhi meta but Dan i hope you're taking notes

💋 : Is your OC a good kisser? How do they do it?

the amount of gifsets i have in the drafts of this man's FC just going at it istg—it's embarrassing. completely embarrassing i am being outed as simping over my own sim. (they will post. eventually, but not yet since i do not want to scandalize the viewers) the common thread in all of them is that he usually goes in first, and then pulls back to look at the other person and then it's right back in again. just. that is hot to me

and tongue!!! Ha-sang will usually ask first before he goes ahead with it since he's very gentle and reserved most of the time (and bc consent is sexy kids!) but when things get heated out comes the tongue. it's a war scene you're going to lose at least one piece of clothing that you will never get back bc it ended up under the sofa or some sh*t like that—if he kisses a line all the way up your jawline you are done for. finished. the end of Solomon Grundy as we like to say in the Caribbean. tell your driver you're not going home tonight if it's right from your collarbone up the curve of your neck i doubt you're making it to the bedroom. God forbid we get any of this started in the car tho it is highly unlikely

send me piping hot oc asks!

#* inbox. #* ask games. #* q: pralinesims. #* abhilash. #* ha-sang. #( * gosh this was so much fun to do but uh. Abhi is my bby and Ha-sang is my traumatized bby if that makes sense #| i want the best of everything in the world for Abhi but i need to convince Ha-sang to go to therapy if he wants his relationships #| to actually have a chance at working out that isn't him blaming himself for everything #| Ha-sang actually does not do much mouth kissing. well at least not during sex anyway. before yes but not during #| and i have an entire scene written in my notes about the first time he does and it is so out of character for him????? #| it's fascinating to explore really #| i think he views that specific thing as being very personal if that makes sense? bc that's being vulnerable and we all know #| where that gets you if you're not careful #| look at me psychoanalyzing my own OCs. must be the hormones )

[champagnepodiums]

I think Toto and Lewis make a really great team for Mercedes interests. They complement each other, it’s subtle enough when it needs to be. They are owning the game.

For me George is 10 steps behind. It does not come naturally with him, for me as a fan he seems less authentic. And that’s not to say he is not or that Lewis or Toto are more. It’s just how they are perceived.

I think George is at a HUGE disadvantage because he was coming up through the junior series when social media was really starting to become a Thing (and becoming a potential problem) so the media training was pounded in his head that one wrong post or saying the wrong thing could be the end of your entire career.

I think George can be really funny and really charming but I think all of the media training he probably had as a child/teenager has maybe almost closed him off as like a defense mechanism (that's how it's always come across to me). It's my hope that as he spends more time with Toto and Lewis and feels secure with his spot in F1, he might loosen up a little bit? If that makes sense?

I can definitely see where/how he comes across as inauthentic, I think this is where his social media could really help counteract that charge but instead, because of the social media strategy his team has chosen to go with, his social media does the opposite and really reinforces the inauthentic impressions fans get.

#oh no now im psychoanalyzing george #i must be stopped

[soldatrose]

the urge to rewatch every pob swan lake ever just because it's getting really cold

#must. not. #last time i did that i started psychoanalyzing siegfried so hard freud himself should have come and put me down

[bl-inkstone]

every time i see fanart of childe cross my dash or see literally anything that vaguely reminds me of him, i have to physically restrain myself from opening discord to spam my friends about whatever thoughts have appeared in the wake of such an unfortunate event

#miyo.chatting #i am the reason why we have a specific channel in our discord for screaming about our faves #i have sent entire essays into that channel #and not once have i ever received any response other than “ok grandma” and “donna-adjacent behavior” #so what if im donna adjacent huh >:( #i love him and the world (our server) must know it!! #its a very complicated love/hate relationship that leans more towards love #grr i want to psychoanalyze him and pick his brain apart then hold his hand and pet his hair after #theres something so deeply wrong with him #i want him carnally

[sm-baby]

Dissection/Theory Analysis of Able:

So we all know about how Caine constantly feels undermined by his little brother's overachieving, but how does Able feel about it? I think the things that he does aren't ill-intended - he's instead trying to keep up with the great achievements of his older brother(how Caine knows multiple languages and has many accolades) and in his admiration of his brother's feats incidentally surpasses them from all the effort he puts into each act. Each pursuit he bests Caine in is just an attempt to better understand his brother by becoming a master in the things Caine likes.

Able is inherently people-pleasing, and that initial urge to perform exceptionally and be praised for it(starting with Caine and their parents) has expanded so much that the need to be the "good brother" is something that has fully taken over his identity - causing his gentleman act and his superior skill in everything Caine does. It is no longer just having the right cards to play at the right time to impress others, he must always be on top and visibly be doing so(aka why his face is the four aces in a suit of cards).

But, he's become so blinded by the need to excel in everything he does that he's gone into complete tunnel vision with his "perfect" facade and feels that his brother is the closest thing he has to a real connection with someone without having to be "the best". And even then, with his own brother, he's not comfortable enough to completely let his guard down and be a person without focusing on pleasing everyone around him

This is a long ask sorry haha

I love my man Able and I have so many theories about how he's handling all the pressure(I'm down bad for him AND want to psychoanalyze him since you gave us such juicy material in the Freakshow fic(which I'd guess is at least partially true to the direction you're heading with him in the carnival and normal aus)). He's my poor little meow meow(even tho he seems mostly fine in all the art we've seen of him) :)

Freakshow Au by: @hootbon

This made me so incredibly happy i couldn't help but doodle him over and over,,

I love psycho-analysis of my characters,, gonna read this over and over.. man you put my ideas for him into WORDS and that's the coolest thing ever.. i never thought Able would be described as "people pleasing" but MAN.. YOU ARE ABSOLUTLY CORRECT... GOD DAM...

Also aboslutely estatic that you took his psycho-analysis from the chosen one fic.. yesss.. i am very happy with Able and Caine's relationship and I'm especially happy with freakshow able's writing in both the fic and just in general. thank you for this,, made my night!

#able #the amazing digital circus #the amazing digital carnival #tadc able #freakshow au #carnival au #caine #the amazing digital circus caine #tadc caine #art

[ajaegerpilot]

sometimes im like i guess i could do pregnancy to get a baby at the end of it given how difficult it is for single or lgbt people to adopt. but truly with the way abortion rights are threatened is really solidifying it to me right now that of all the things that could happen to me in my life, being pregnant and especially being forced to be pregnant would literally be among the worst things that could ever happen to me. if i ever got pregnant, like i wouldn't rest until i got the abortion. i never want to be pregnant even for a day, not even for a minute.

dont rebl*g

#misha speaks #and you know what. im right. #anyway. single moms and dads who want a coparent pspspsp. friends who want a godparent pspspspsps. #but i could never be pregnant. me at age 8 who was like if i ever got pregnant and couldn't terminate i'd [redacted] myself. i was correct. #its interesting that like of my 4 siblings who are all in their 40s/50s only one of them has ever had kids #like i wonder if we're unlucky or if we have a genetic predisposition to just abhor the idea. #i do kind of want kids some day because my relationship with my dad was so special. but dude. i could never do the pregnancy thing. #its so wildly repulsive to me. #i think it must be tied up for me with lack of bodily autonomy and self-determination. like i'm very much someone who NEEDS to be in contro #-control of myself. and i think being pregnant would feel (to me) like a complete violation. lmao. obviously i do not think that this is #what pregnancy is like or should be like for most people. just trying to unpack why it feels like this to me. and it also goes along with #why i've never been drunk or high or smoked. like i feel (for me) that there is some commonality there for some personal neuroses. #and i also don't think im wrong for not wanting to get pregnant or get high ever. and if i fucking have my way i never will. #and im sure there are excellent special experiences people can have being inebriated or pregnant. i dont fucking want them. #there are things in this world i want. but those things in particular i want to die happy without ever knowing. #obvs disclaimer i do think its likely at some point in my life i will get drunk. but yeah. #mm. i bet all of this comes down to a safety thing too. idk. psychoanalyzing self on tunglr dot edu #i think when it comes down to it i can be a niave selfish person. but a core tenant of myself is that i AM a snarling dog over my own #freedom and safety. and there's many flaws i have that i want to work on. but i think this tenant can stay as is and i think it is good.

[livwritesstuff]

Omg Steve holding onto grudges his daughters have let go is so real. My mom told me the other day that she still hates one of my sisters ex-friends from over 15 years ago. How do you think Steve reacts if one of the girls bring a friend (reformed enemy) home? I know he would be an adult, but still a little petty I think.

Honestly same my mom still talks about one particular ex-friend of mine from when I was in elementary school who I haven't seen or spoken to in over a decade.

Yeah, Steve would be the picture of civility to the friends themselves. There's been enough fully-burned bridges for him to trust his daughters' judgement, though he definitely would be psychoanalyzing every single word that came out of their mouths.

Where it would show is when he interacts with those friends' parents because, in his eyes, they're the ones who taught that kind of behavior, and Steve has some level of awareness that he and Eddie are, to their upper-middle class liberal town, the cool gay dads. Steve's social calendar is booked solid, and wherever he shows up is the place to be in the eyes of the other parents. He will use that privilege for evil if he must.

Like, if Moe's friend Kaley excluded her from a basketball team-sleepover, Steve is suddenly chronically unavailable for all of Kaley's mom's wine and cheese nights.

Robbie might have mended fences with her friend Skylar, but funnily enough Skylar's dad never was able to work Steve into the carpool rotation again.

For the record, Eddie does not have any awareness of any of this. He's the dad who classically does not know any of his children's friends. If he woke up in a Saw trap and the only requirement was to name one (1) of his daughters' friends, he'd be completely fucked.

#literally eddie only knows moe's best friend gray and that's just because gray is practically his fourth kid #steddie #liv’s steddie dads verse #steddie dads #steve harrington

[honeygrahambitch]

Listen have we considered the fact that Will must have tried therapy before? Because he 100% has.

The way he says "Therapy doesn't work on me, I know all the tricks." suggests that he has gone through it. He had maybe tried a few therapists and indeed, he was probably very bored and it probably felt shallow and scripted. Because he was unconsciously aware of the fact that he can't open all of himself up to a therapist. So he has probably gone through it and it has probably been useless.

Why has he tried it? Was he sad? Depressed? Misunderstood? Not finding his place in the world? Something traumatic happened while he was a policeman? Maybe.

And there is also the "Don't psychoanalyze me, you won't like me when I'm psychoanalyzed." This statement is quite specific.

Has someone psychoanalyzed him in the past and didn't like him? Maybe a therapist managed to get closer and closer to his demons and then dumped him? Or made it very clear that he has issues and disorders that no one can deal or work with.

That's why I think Will has such a negative view about therapy and that is why he was so reluctant to go to Hannibal.

#so many questions #hannibal #hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannibal nbc #hannibal series #hannibal meta

[yeoja-dream]

Found/Fated/Forever

Part 1

Pairing: BTS OT7 x Reader

Genre: Fantasy, eventual smut, porn with plot, slow burn, hurt/comfort

Characters: Supernatural!BTS, Vampire!Jungkook, Supernatural!Reader

Content Warning: Woman in danger, roofie mention

Word Count: 3,500

It was a miserable fucking night. Granted it had also been a miserable fucking day, The rain had come down in sheets all throughout the day and well into the night, bringing the temperature down considerably. It was certainly summer, but as your thigh-high boot clicked against the wet sidewalk, you swore you could see your breath. 

I just had to fucking go out. You grumbled internally, shivering in your mini skirt and leather coat. It should have been plenty warm enough for a summer night, but even the weather seemed to be flipping you off today. Let’s just get black-out drunk, hook up with a stranger, and forget today ever happened. You hyped yourself up while rounding the corner to your favorite nightclub. 

The line was sparse, on account of the rain you supposed. Not that you ever really had to wait in line for this place anyways, you knew all the bouncers and if any gave you a hard time, you’d flash a little cleavage and be on your way. 

Despite the minimal line outside, indoors was as lively as any other Saturday night. The DJ tonight was someone local, you overheard, not bad you mused, moving through the crowd to an empty bar seat. Mostly trap beats, but his remixes were decent and the dance floor reflected his musical proficiency. 

“Y/N” The bartender, a salt and pepper man in his 40s regarded you warmly. “What will it be tonight?” 

“David.” You said back. “I thought you had a date tonight? I was expecting to see Vanessa. Sure the usual.” You slid your card forward, starting your tab. 

“You drink so many cosmos we are going to have to start calling you Nebula, you know,” David said, picking up the ingredients to your drink. “Vanessa and I switched. Date bailed. She must have known you were coming in and got jealous,” He added with a wink. 

“You flatter me.” You replied. “Nebula is too metal of a knick name for such a girly drink.” 

“Eh,” David replied, sliding your glass toward you. “I’ve seen you, you could out-drink any man in this place. Makes me feel bad for your wallet.” 

“You and I both.” You said, sipping on the pink liquid. “It’s good. Strong. Make yourself something, it’s on me.” 

“And that’s why you are my favorite customer, cheers,” David replied, before sliding off to the other end of the bar, busily helping other patrons. 

The bar seats here spun, a trait you always appreciated for easy people-watching. Picking up your drink and swiveling your seat around, you surveyed the crowd like you did most weekends. Mostly, it was boring. You watched them have fun, be messy, get into arguments, meet new friends, new lovers, it was fun, like watching a TV show of what your life could have looked like if things had been different. Some nights you’d spot a creep, someone slipping drugs into drinks or stalking ex-partners and you’d alert the bouncers to kick them out. Some nights you’d chat with someone silver-tongued and deep-pocketed to keep you interested, some nights that person would talk you into bed. 

It was cyclical if you had to really psychoanalyze yourself. The theme: unfulfillment, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness. It was easy, much easier anyway, to find comfort in these fleeting, temporary flings, to find purpose in playing superhero and saving a drunk woman from a creep, to find community in the transactional relationships held with people like David. But maybe you were thinking too much about things again, what the hell did you know? You were there, in that nightclub, just like everyone else.

You swiveled around again, signaling to David you were ready for your next cosmo. He had it ready just as soon as you could raise your hand. 

“Looks like you got something on your mind tonight. I’ll keep ‘em coming,” David said handing you your next drink. 

“Thanks.” You said, taking it from him. “Don’t forget to make something for yourself!” You called after him.

“I love drinking on your dime, don’t worry about me~” He replied with a hand wave. 

Before you can turn back to your self-centered musings, a zip of light darted through your periphery. Magic? It had been a minute since you had seen someone else use it, but surely you had to be mistaken right? Why would a place like this have magic?

You snapped and turned to the side, scanning the patrons carefully, but it only took a few seconds to realize who it was who had been casting. A man stood in the corner, tall with dark, masculine features, his shoulders were broad, his chest and torso the perfect V. He wore a plain, dark, fitted t-shirt that showed off large, corded arms. He was the picture of masculinity, attractive by anyone’s standards, and as you regarded him now, he was entirely silhouetted in magic. The silver, translucent aura was unmistakable. Glamour magic. 

He had to be an incubus right? The only other creatures capable of glamour magic like that are the tirions, but those were exceptionally rare. You could relate to that. As you pondered the possibilities, you noticed a small, curly-haired blonde woman, undoubtedly human by the way she seemed in awe of this male. You needed to get closer, you decided slipping off your seat and pushing through the bodies until you were in earshot. 

“So, why don’t you finish your drink and we can enjoy a few more at my place?” The male voice spoke. 

“Well, I - I - I uh, f-f-friend I, uh…” The female voice spoke, a mix of slurred speech and nervous babbling. 

Another wave of magic pulsed from him. 

“I think we should get out of here, beautiful.” He insisted again. 

“I think… that is… okay.” The female replied voice halted, disconnected. Stiffly and robotically you watched her put her drink on the bar top, then equally as robotically begin turn around and begin to exit.

Incubus or tirion, you would be damned if you would let them feed here. You too put your drink down on the bar top and made your way to the exiting couple. 

“Hey! Girl we were looking everywhere for you!” You walked right up to the woman, placing a hand on her shoulder. You were admittedly a bit rusty, but your connection to magic was as inherent as the ability to breathe. You called forth your magic from deep in the ground, willing it to run through your body. You could see the magical charm this male held on this woman, and while willing your magic into a sword, you severed the charm. 

The woman blinked up at you, dazed and confused. “The rest of us are dancing over here!” You now link arms with the woman, her considerably smaller frame putting into perspective how powerless this woman was to this male. As you begin to walk away with her, the male voice calls out from behind you. 

“Hey.” The voice is stern, flat, and deep. More noticeable to you, however, is the overwhelming rush of glamor magic that washes over you. You will your magic up, shielding the smaller woman from its power. 

“Hey sorry!” You turn around. “We came out as a girl's night and we wanna keep it that way! No hard feelings!” With that, you pull the woman with you and away, towards the exit. 

“It’s time to go home, sweetheart. Are those your friends over there?” You ask the woman. She nods in response. 

“Come on, let's say goodbye and then I’m going to walk you to a cab.” You lead the woman to her friends, who all in a drunken stupor thank you for taking care of their friend, and forget to ask why it is she needs to leave. It is probably better that way anyway. 

You lead the woman out the door, up the stairs, and out into the cold rainy night. You held the umbrella for the two of you, walking in complete silence. 

“The taxi rank is around the corner, but this time of night and the weather I’ll bet it's empty, so I’m just going to call ahead.” You said to no one in particular. You weren’t sure if she was really listening, but you felt better saying something. 

Sure enough, when you rounded the corner, the taxi rank was completely abandoned. 

“Figures,” you grumbled, watching the poor, shivering woman stand next to you while you waited, the sound of the rain hammering on your shared umbrella punctuating your silence. Wordlessly, you shed your leather jacket and place it over her shoulders while you wait, willing the magic from the ground to keep you warm. It was totally against the rules, but hey, it had already been a weird night. 

“Do you remember your address?” You asked the woman. She nodded in response. 

“Do you have enough money to get home?” Another nod. 

“Did you drive to the club?” A shake this time. 

She didn’t want to talk, obviously, and another extended silence descended upon the two of you. 

The woman broke the silence this time. 

“What happened to me?” She asked, voice sounding hollow, hurt, and confused. 

“You were roofied.” You replied, matter-of-factly. “The man you were talking to was very bad, which is why I’m making sure you get home.” 

“I’ve been roofied before. It didn’t go away in one second. I spent the whole night puking. You touched my shoulder and the fog lifted. Isn’t that crazy?” She spouted off, looking up at you for support answers. 

You knew what she was looking for, and yet you couldn’t give it to her. “They’re coming up with new drugs all the time. Maybe this one clears your system crazy fast. I am really sorry this happened to you.” You replied. 

“Thank you for helping me.” She replied, and as if ordained by a benevolent ruler, the taxi pulled up. You helped her into the car, wished her a good night, and saw her off before turning on a heel and marching back to that nightclub. You had a bone to pick. 

-----------------------------------------------

Where the bumping music of the club before gave the area a cool, hip-hop vibe, now contributed to your fuge state fueled by rage. The male, miraculously, was stood in the same spot, tied up in conversation with another man. An accomplice perhaps, you thought. You’d figure it out as soon as you rocked this dude's shit. 

Pushing passed the crowd and shoving the man he was locked in conversation with aside, in a flash you willed your magic up to protect your fist and you let loose the meanest right hook you could muster, for that woman and all the other women you were sure this scum had victimized. 

Your fist collided solidly with his jaw, knocking him over and staggering him. You hit him hard enough that the bystanders around you audibly reacted. The male straightened back out, rubbing his jaw in pain. Looking down at you in what could only be described as bewilderment. 

“I would say there is a special place in hell for people like you, but you would know something about that, wouldn’t you?” You spit at the male. 

“So what if I do?” The male replied, voice rich and baritone. “What’s it to you?” 

“There are clubs for people like you.” You replied venemously. 

“And you…?” He replied, lifting an eyebrow.

“I am not here looking for prey.” You said, looked at him with a disgusting look. “Just because you can’t hack it in the supernatural clubs doesn’t mean you can just come out to the human clubs looking for easy pickings.” 

“Do you condemn the wolf for breaking into the lamb pen? Or do you just understand that the wolf, too, needs to eat?” 

“Ask a sheep farmer what he does to wolves in the lamb pen.” 

“Is that what you are to them? The farmer? Watching over the little sheep? Or perhaps you are just a little puppy, barking at the big bad predator” He leaned in closer. “There will come a day when your pathetic little yaps won’t be enough to chase away the big bad guy, what will you do then, little puppy?” 

“Get. Out.” You said through gritted teeth. “Or so help me I will put you back where you came from.” Rage, pure rage coursed through you, mixed with magic, you felt it zapping and prickling at your skin, your hair standing on edge as if the lighting was about to strike. 

“Now now, no need to get so wound up.” He started pushing past you, before stopping to continue. “I was going to hurt you, for taking my dinner. But now, now I hope to meet you again very soon, little puppy.” He finished, walking out the front door, a swagger in his footsteps that made you want to blast him from behind with every bit of radiant damage you could physically muster. 

“Hey.” A different male voice snapped you to the present. “You’re going to call attention to yourself. Just accept it.” 

Another wave of glamor magic washed over you, a different spell though, a calming one you readily identified having used it before. You allow the stranger's magic in, the new stream slipping in, soothing your breathing, calming your heart rate, and slowing the stream of magic through your body, before exiting. 

“You were about to make us all do the electric slide.” The man said with a chuckle. “Sorry, dated reference. I am kind of old.” 

“Me too.” You commented, still internally reeling from the events of the last hour. “It was funny, thanks for the hand.” You turned to him, finally. The man who was keeping the incubus engaged. You were calm, but you were still warry. You regarded him more carefully now, he too was exceptionally handsome, but in a less brutalistic way than the incubus was. He was also shorter than the incubus and considerably more lithe in his frame. His baggy streetwear and half up half down hairstyle betrayed a surprisingly strong body, you were willing to bet, however. “With that being said, who the hell are you?” 

“That is a complicated question with a complicated answer.” He replied. “I am sure you can relate. Shall we?” He gestured to two conveniently empty seats sitting on the corner of the bar. 

“You drink cosmos, right?” He said handing you a pink cocktail. You looked at him incredulously. 

“On a normal night, I don’t accept drinks that I didn’t watch David make, after all that what makes you think I’m going to accept this?” 

“Oh my god, you are so right. You know what I will drink this don’t even worry about it, I’ll flag the bartender and you order whatever you want and I’ll pick it up.” He replied, pulling the drink back to him. 

After a few minutes, David walked up to your end of the bar, regarding the two of you silently. 

“What will it be, sir?” David asked the man. 

“Whatever the lady will have.” 

“Whiskey. Top Shelf.” 

“Coming right up, ma’am,” David replied, pouring a glass and sliding it to you. With that, he made himself scarce. 

“How do you know the incubus?” You asked the man, keeping your tone flat, disinterested in case they were buddies. 

“Not at all, to be frank” He replied, sipping on his Cosmo. 

“When I walked in after getting that woman home, you seemed to be engaged in lively conversation with that man.” You said, bemused. “What was it that you were discussing?” 

“How we were going to hurt you.” He replied, matter-of-factly. 

“And how was that?” You asked. 

“Well, he was angry when you left with that woman, really angry. I had a feeling that you’d come back and I wanted you to get your revenge, so I placated him with stories of how I would help tear you limb from limb and eat your insides in front of this whole club, the usual.”  

“Uh-huh.” You replied, skeptically. “And why should I believe that? Maybe the two of you are waiting to jump me as soon as I leave out that door.” 

“Nah, you’d kick my ass.” He replied. “Besides, I have this.” He held up a clear, tear-drop-shaped glass pendant on a cord around his neck. Suspended in the glass were a clear liquid and a red liquid, yin and yang. “Because of this, it is impossible for me to lie.” 

“Obviously you are going to have to prove it.” You replied, scoffing and sipping your whiskey. 

“Easy.” He replied. “The sky is purp-” Before he could finish, red and blue light pulsed from the pendant, and the man doubled over in pain, grabbing his chest. “Pigs can fl-” and again, before the man could finish the sentence, he doubled over in pain clutching his chest. 

“You could have programmed it to react that way with certain voice commands.” You replied back, still skeptical. 

“Hard to convince, that’s fair enough.” He replied, shrugging. “Tell me to say something, and I will say it, scouts honor.” 

“Okay…” You replied, thinking for a moment. “Tell me I’m ugly,” you said with a smirk. 

“You’re ug- ak!” The same reaction as before. 

“Thank you I know.” You said, flicking the hair off your shoulder. A devilish smile crept across your face as another prompt crossed your mind. “Say this one and I will believe you.” 

“Anything.” 

“Say I have a tiny penis.” 

He looked at you incredulously, but nonetheless began “I have a tiny pe- ah! Enough please believe me this hurts!” 

“Good to know~” you chuckled. “Alright George Washington, what are you doing here anyway? What are you?” You asked him. 

“I am a vampire. As for what I am doing here, that question is a bit more difficult to answer.” 

“Are you looking for prey? Just like that incubus?” 

“What? God. No. I don’t need to look for prey thank you very much. I am very much mated.” 

“Mated? But you’re hanging out in a human club?” 

“Something like that.” 

“Okay, start the bigger picture then if the smaller picture is hard. What is your name?” 

“Jeon Jungkook. A pleasure.” He extended his hand. 

“Y/N. It is steadily becoming a pleasure as well.” you shook his hand. “What brings you to this city, Jeon Jungkook?”

“I live here with my mates,” he replied. “Most of us work in the city, myself included. I sing.” 

“Oh wow!” you recoiled in surprise. “What do you sing? Do you perform?” 

“No, it's a little hard to be a public persona when your face is never changing, ya know? I do backup vocals and I am the voice behind a few recording artists, some big some small.” He shrugged.  

“Some big?” You asked. 

“I can’t really talk openly about it. I’ll tell you another time.” He added with a wink. 

“Fair enough.” You replied, taking another sip of whiskey. 

“I was right behind you, by the way.” 

“Hm?” You replied. 

“Maybe I should back up a little.” He started. “I’m here, in this human club tonight, because I was called to be. By whom or what I do not know, but I knew I needed to come in. I arrived shortly after you did, I think. You were already drinking at the bar, people-watching. I saw the magic too, and I saw what he was attempting to do to that poor woman. You and I stood up simultaneously.” 

“You want a congratulations for thinking about stopping a rapist?” You scoffed at him. 

“No. No, I am explaining myself poorly. I am trying to say I had your back. I wouldn’t have let him hurt you.”

“Oh. Thanks.” You said, giving him a half cheers with your glass. 

“At first I thought that this is what I was called here for, to save you or to dispatch this creep, then I could fuck off home and be the hero. But then I saw how powerful you were. How readily the magic came to you, how you bent it to your will like you were folding paper. It was only then I came to understand, that I think I was called here to meet you. And I am extremely glad I was.” 

You glanced at his chest and then, at the pendant hanging on his chest. The light remained dark, and when you slid your gaze up to meet his, there was an intense sincerity there that made you blush and shy away. 

“I am not really sure I understand what it is exactly you are getting at.” You state looking down at the melting cubes in your whiskey. 

“I think I might, but I will need you to go with me on this one.”  --------------------------------------------------------------------- Hi-ya this one has been cooking in my brain for like 3 years so enjoy plz! I am just going to post parts one and two consecutively because fuck it they're finished and the Ritalin hit and so I WROTE. I'm working on Intertwined, I just had to get it straightened out from this story because of their similar themes but we good, let me cook. I will update the tags as WHAT each member of BTS and Y/N as it is revealed but for now, no spoilers eheheh. Put what you think they're going to be below!

#bts #bangtan #bts smut #bts x reader angst #bts x reader smut #bts x y/n #bts x you #bts x fem!reader #bts x reader #ot7 x reader smut #ot7 #bts ot7 #ot7 x reader #ot7 x reader smut #poly ot7 #ot7xreader #foundfatedforever

[spiderfreedom]

my suffering is profound and legitimate, yours is frivolous nonsense

Just reading a blogger I like but I had to laugh because she was talking about how beauty practices are bad for women's mental health, and she left a note saying "unlike gender affirming care! gender affirming care improves people's mental health and it's nothing at all like cosmetic practices."

TIL, when an older woman gets botox to remove her wrinkles and avoid facing the inevitability of decline and death, her problem is spiritual/structural and she needs to Do The Work to deprogram her ageism, unlike people with dysphoria, who of course have legitimate claims to cosmetic alteration.

And it is cosmetic - no part of the body that is altered by HRT or SRS or any of the feminization/masculinization surgeries is failing to function or functioning poorly. The problem is with the brain, which perceives the body parts as foreign or undesirable. We may sympathize with someone struggling with such a condition, but that does not change that the body parts being altered were already healthy and the alterations are cosmetic, and the relief being brought about is mental.

But plenty of trans people openly admit that separating body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria is a losing game. Contrapoints's video on "Beauty" (transcript) has the observation that she feels least dysphoric when she is meeting feminine beauty norms:

But I also think that trans people often talk like gender dysphoria is this intrinsic, personal experience that's always 100% valid and never has anything at all to do with the external pressure of beauty standards. But in fact, gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from the influence of societal ideals and norms.  [...] When I try to psychoanalyze myself, I find that my desires to look female, to look feminine, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same, but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them. And the opposite is also true, that for me feeling mannish or dysphoric usually goes along with feeling ugly. I don't have a lot of days where I walk out the house thinking "well, I'm giving femme queen realness, but apart from that I look like absolute shit". 

Max Robinson's book "Detransition," from an FTM perspective, points out how the prospective trans man views his suffering as unique from and distinct from women's, even as the surgeries they seek are not especially different:

The stereotypical cosmetic surgery patient is seeking to become closer to being perfectly feminine - she wants to be beautiful. Transitional cosmetic surgery, on the other hand, is widely understood to mark the patient as ex-female and therefore unfemale; this is part of the meaning FTMs seek to create through surgery. FTM desire for cosmetic surgery is positioned as something totally different than the stereotype of a woman who 'merely' seeks beauty at her frivolous leisure. FTMs are deemed to have a rare affliction that needs urgent, life-saving treatment. Conversely, there is nothing more common than for a woman to become obsessed with her socially-deemed 'unsatisfactory' looks and desperately seek to change them, believing that such a change is the only thing that can restore her quality of life. This comparison will feel like an insult to the FTM. It will feel that way because we believe other women's suffering doesn't matter, and recognize how much ours does. Women's suffering is ordinary but ours is extraordinary. For us to matter, we must be differentiated from the silly little woman who wants to be pretty so badly she'll pay thousands of dollars (now billable to credit cards and loan programs designed to pay for elective surgeries!) to risk her life and health. These women don't need to be fixed; we do. FTMs know that we don't deserve a woman's fate but have not yet realized that no woman does.

I have more to write on the topic of the relationship between gender identity and beauty culture, but I'll end this one here. It makes sense that somebody who is identified with the opposite sex would also be affected by the standards of beauty expected of that sex. (Non-binary identification is more complicated and requires separate treatment.)

#mypost #beauty culture #gender identity ideology #radical feminism #100 notes tag