#NO NO NO N O O OOOOOOOOOOOOO | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

azlrse · 3 years

Note

Non yandere request how almond cookie and herb cookie x s/o who is overprotective over sorbet shark cookie and gives all attention and love to them and say they should adopted sorbet so they can be a family headcanons

Adopted (Almond Cookie/Herb Cookie x GN Cookie!Reader Hcs)

CW: none, just fluff!!

A/N: Speedrunning right now since I still have loads of schoolwork to do!

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Almond Cookie 🌰

Let's imagine this; you are married to the detective himself and became Walnut's stepparent. You loved your little family with every bit of your life.

This was during your first wedding anniversary where the three of you spend some time at Tropical Soda Islands.

Everyone was having a great time except your stepdaughter went to a particular place and told the both of you that she finally made a friend.

A friend? That's kinda new to your stepdaughter.

Well she's a curious little cookie so couldn't blame her.

Your husband told Walnut if she could bring her new friend to introduce to the both of you.

It came to a surprise when she finally brought in her new friend.

"Come on Sorbet! My parents' are excited to meet you!"

At first glance, you and Almond (with a small smile with his usual expression) instantly adored her new friend.

"Dad and Mom/Papa, meet Sorbet Shark Cookie, my new friend."

The small cookie made some adorable sounds and presents their hand as a way to greet the both of you.

"Nice to see you coming here, little fella. Me and my spouse are thankful that you befriended Walnut." Almond spoke as he watched the both of the kids playing in the sand.

Fast forward months after you met Sorbet. They revealed to you and Almond that they couldn't speak well when they're in land but can speak properly when in the water but the both of you were fine by it.

The time where the both of you became protective to your children when they're attacked by giant cake hounds.

You were so scared for your children's safety that you risked your own life just to save them.

Long story short, your husband and the kids were scared to death when you didn't wake up till a day later.

Now that you became attached to Sorbet, not seeing them as a friend but as your very own child, you asked Almond if he's allowing Sorbet to become part of the family.

He's hesitant at first but was also attached to his daughter's closest friend so he finally agrees.

Both of the kids were enthusiastic and excited when they both realized that they'll become siblings.

On the other hand, Sorbet is finally happy when they finally had a home and importantly, a family that welcomed them with warm arms.

Herb Cookie 🌱

Like I previously mentioned, this cookie loves kids.

He loves inviting the little ones into his gardens and play within the soft grass of the backyard.

After your daughter, Rosemary Cookie, came home, it gotten really busy.

Changing her diapers, constantly dealing with her wailings and didn't get constant sleep.

But the both of you still loved her to pieces.

While taking a stroll on the beach, Rosemary began to cry cause she accidentally dropped her toy and was washed away by the waves of the beach.

You and your husband began chasing the small toy but couldn't take the risk of being soggy and wet.

You began to loose hope when a strange cookie began to emerge from the waters.

"Hey, I think this belongs to you miss/mister!"

The half Cookie spoke as they handed you the toy.

Your daughter began to squeal in happiness at the sight of the her favorite toy, including the small child.

"I never seen you before, what's your name little fella?" You asked

"Sorbet Shark Cookie, pleased to meet the both of you!"

The both of you became surprised when they gained their legs back.

"OoooooOOOooooo!" (What's her name?)

You didn't understand at first but your husband managed to answer the young cookie.

"This is our daughter, Rosemary Cookie. Thank you for saving her toy."

ooooOOOOoooOO! (You're very welcome!)

Since that day, Sorbet would love to visit your home and of course visiting your daughter.

Not only you see them as an important guest but also one of your children, despite not being related.

Your parent instinct came when you spotted them injured while in their half shark form.

It looks like a mischievous pirate deliberately caused the wound on their chest, which is not a good view if you're honest.

After treating their wounds, that's when you realized something from them...

They didn't have a family and they spent a lot in their life in the ocean....

So you asked Herb if he agrees on adopting Sorbet as a new member of the family and being Rosemary's oldest sibling.

He agrees and stated that it will be a great way to expand the family.

To say the least, Sorbet was really happy when they finally have a family to call their own, including a baby sister.

‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵

Do not republish, edit, or repost to other websites.

Reblogs and likes are appreciated! 💕

#cookie run fanfic #cookie run kingdom #cookie run x reader #cookie run #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run kingdom imagine #cookie run kingdom imagines #espresso cookie x reader #espresso cookie #espresso cookie imagine #herb cookie #herb cookie imagine #herb cookie x reader #cookie run fluff

329 notes · View notes

kirbyofthestars · 3 years

Text

I HATE ECEVERUTHING!!!!!‘nn EM!!!

NOBODY CAB FUCKING FUCK A FUCKING FUCKKN SUNFISH YOU CANT FUCK A SUNFISH YOU CANT DO IT!!!!! YOU CANT FUCK A FUCKING SUNFISH IT HAS NOTHING TO FUCK THERE IS LIYERALLY NOTHJNG THERE KR WOULD HURT!!!! IT WOULD HURT AND BE COLD AND NOT FUN!! NO FUN AT FUCKING A FUCKINH SUNFISH AND HWRE ARE ALL THESE FUCKING TEENS THT IM GONNA FUCKING /KINKSHAME/ CALL ME THE PUREST FORM OF A FUCKING

K I N K S H A M E R

BECAUSE

YOU

CANT

FUCK

SUNFISH

IM GONNNABBABANA SAY IT A FUCKING GAIN YOU

CANNOT

BY ANY FUCKING MEANS

FUCK

A FISHMAN

FISHDADDY

FISHY BRO

THERES NO WAY

THERES NOTHING THERE

YOU GONNA FUCKING???? RUB YOUR GENITALS ON A FIN??? ON A CLAUVUS YOU WNANA GRIND ON A BONEY FUCKING CLAUVUSvv??? REALLY????????????FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU

C A N N O T

FUCK

S U N F I S H

IM SO MAD IM SOMAS IM SO MAS I SHSODMAD IMSO MAD IMNSOMAD IMSOMAD IMSOA MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD. YOU CANT

FUCK

SUNFISB

I WANNA PPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH SONETHING YOU FANT

FUCK

A SUNFISB

YOU CANT

CUFUCK

SUNFGISHHJ

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

YYYYYYPI CANT FYCKCA A FUCKCING SUNFISH BYIU CANT FUCK A NOKNE OU WVAKAMKNSHSGWHSUWMUWKANODUWLAOWTWIWPQMSBGXTXISWPPQEYEBXH YCKWOW GRONSHS YOU CANT

MMM

YIU

CANNOT

MMM

F U CK

S U N F I I S H B

BESTIALITY IS A FUCKCINBH CRIMW

WABNA GO TO FUCKING PRISON YOU DIRTY FISH FUCKER?????? YOU FUCK FISH?????? SMELLY FISH!?????!? YOH WANNA FUCKING DIE????

ITS!!!! FAKEBbb!!!!!! KINE IS A FUCKIG

FISH

MAN

F I S H. F I S H. FISHISHISH

FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH

FISHY FISH

HES A FISHB

ONE FISH

A FSUIH

HE HAS NO MAGIC FUCKING JELLY DICK HE HAS NOTHING HE HAS A CLAUVUS ANS A DORSAL FIN I WANT TO

CONNIT

AUICIDE

HE HAS NO TONGUE

HE CANT KISS YOU

YOU DIRTY FISH FUCKER

HE HAS NO DICK

HE CANT FUCK YOU

YOU DIRTY FISH FUCKER

HE HAS NOTHING

N O T H I N G

ITS

E M P T Y

HAVE YOUEVER SEEEEEEN A SUNFISHVnvnv?!?!!??! A FUCKING SNUFISH??!?!?!?!!??? v v vbbbbbbbiughkdmcgkydurtirgkhkg_ fycking SUUUJUNFIIISHHHHHJB??!?? BONE!!!!!!!! BONES?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUCKING BOOOOOOOOOBES

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOONES

BOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSA

AEE YOU SAD HE HAS NO

MEATY HANDS

NO FAT FUCKING HANDS

TO HOLD YOU WITH AT NIGHT

YOU UNDERSTAND THAT

NO HANDS HES A

S U N F I S H

SNUFIHSG !!!! !!! FUCK YALL!!!! FUCK YALL HE IS A FUCKING SUNFISH

#not sfw

68 notes · View notes

strawbnie · 7 years

Text

gay culture is your dad talking about some famously beautiful woman, saying he doesn’t even think “she’s that pretty” when ur gay ass is there like sure buddy keep talking whilst i admire this woman, in a gay way, because i am gay,

#wlw #jeans.txt #this happens consistently #my dad abt natalie portman: she's so short and her face is weird and she has such a huge head #me: okay first of all u could never get her to look at u twice in a million years #my favourite thing is when i disagree with him and i'm like #n o dude she's gorgeous #and he's like well it doesn't count when u say it bc ur a girl and im like :JKdkfjlskljasdfklsdf kldfkl;d #LM A OOoOOOOOOOOOo #the ASSUMPTION that the only people who ARE ALLOWED to have opinions THAT MATTEr on WOMEN'S LOOKS are MEN is SO RIDICULOUS #ITR'S LAUGHABLE #and second of all OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god i'm laughing like #not to be blunt but i am more likely to have sex with natalie portman than he is so he can shut his ass up

7 notes · View notes

novampirebrainrot · 3 years

Note

Eu sei que você não reblogou aquele negócio de se parecer com algum personagem ou pessoa, maaaaas não dizer que você parece a Marina é impossível!!!!

Você transpira à Marina 😭😭🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️ olha o cabelo ruivo, e o lapizinho mágico ooooooooooooo😭

Aaaaa T//v//T eu sempre me relacionei muito com a Marina desde criança sim meudeus

Toda vez que eu me olho no espelho eu vejo a Marina é verdade

Ela jovem tem um cabelo mais comprido que o meu mas é. . . Somos iguais é isso. Medo. Será se eu saí de um gibi

Não não posso ser a Marina 100% pq ela n passou por uma fase punk emo te peguei Marina tu n é meu clone n, somos irmãs mas não clones 🤔

A gente é as duas Br mas enfim,

#ask game #eyelessdoll y #amandinha 👭#kkkkk vou dormir família até amanhã

11 notes · View notes

elegybeatty · 3 years

Note

YYYYYYPI CANT FYCKCA A FUCKCING SKELEON BYIU CANT FUCK A NOKNE OU WVAKAMKNSHSGWHSUWMUWKANODUWLAOWTWIWPQMSBGXTXISWPPQEYEBXH YCKWOW GRONSHS YOU CANT MMM MM YIU CANNOT MMM F U CK A S K E LE TO OB NECROPHEILA IS A FUCKCINBH CRIMW WABNA GO TO FUCKING PRISON YOU DIRTY BONE FUCKER?????? YOU FUCK BONES?????? DUSTY BONES!?????!? YOH WANNA FUCKING DIE???? ITS!!!! FAKEBbb!!!!!! SANS IS A FUCKIG

BONE MAN B O N E. BO N E. BONEONONE BOOOOIIIIOOOOOOOONE BONEY BRONEY HES A BOBE ONE BONE ABOBE P HE HAS NO MAGIC FUCKING JELLY DICK HE HAS NOTHING HE HAS SHORTS ANS A PELVIS I WANT TO

CONNIT AUICIDE HE HAS NO TONGUE HE CANT KISS YOU YOU DIRTY BONE FUCKER HE HAS NO DICK HE CANT FUCK YOU YOU DIRTY BONE FUCKER HE HAS NOTHING N O T H I N G ITS E M P T Y HAVE YOUEVER SEEEEEEN A SKELETONVnvnv?!?!!??! A FUCKING SLELETON??!?!?!?!!??? v v vbbbbbbbiughkdmcgkydurtirgkhkg_ fycking SKELEEEWETON??!?? BONE!!!!!!!! BONES?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUCKING BOOOOOOOOOBES

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOONES

BOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSA AEE YOU SAD HE HAS NO MEATY HANDS NO FAT FUCKING HANDS TO HOLD YOU WITH AT NIGHT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NO HANDS HES A S K E L E TON SJELEON !!!! !!! FUCK YALL!!!! FUCK YALL HE IS A FUCKING SKELETON

strap-on

#i got an ask i guess #they call it 'boning' for a reason buddy lmaooooo

3 notes · View notes

aquello-main · 3 years

Note

art prompt: dream in a bear onesie

:OOOOOOOOOOOOO y e s t h a n k y o u

3 notes · View notes

tarithenurse · 4 years

Text

Orphan 10

Starring: Steve Rogers x Fem!Reader and MCU characters! Contents: Spoilers for Endgame!! Fluff. Yeah, you read that right. Of course, there’s also some pining, worrying, awkwardness, and general feels of all sorts. A/N: So I’m posting this from my new home!! First night here! SoooooooOOOOOOOoooooo*gasp*ooooOOOOOoooo stoked about this, it’s almost ridiculous! Still: previous chapters can be found on the masterlist. Thanks for likes and reblogs and comments <3

10. Protective

After managing the initial formalities and even getting into the car without making a fool of yourself, there’s little left to say. So, Rhodes had left you behind for some work-thing. Why not take Pepper’s offer? I can’t…not yet, though you explain that differently with excuses of any kind. Perhaps Steve realizes the true reason but if so, then he doesn’t push the agenda in an effort to find out which. You are more than grateful, just like you feel a sense of relief that he doesn’t question you about how the visit went.

How did it go? It’s a lot to take in, that’s for sure.

Tony Stark was a man of transitions more than anything. Every time he had faced something new, he’d go in head on and work his way through until he had transformed it, or it had transformed him – into something more, something greater. Flawed, like most other people, it had been easy for him to follow down a path of less than honorable activities. Then he was forced to learn the truth. Afterwards, Tony sought to use all he had to correct the mistakes he had made. Make a difference. Your estranged father had become a hero to the world through his intellect and stubbornness.

Now people who knew him keep saying how alike the two of you are, how many of his features you share. What is anyone supposed to do with information like that? Become someone new like Tony Stark might have done? Or go on, allowing the well-meant comments fall to the ground and shatter as you turn your back?

There are probably more options, but as much as you would like to think it through, analyze the situation, it’s impossible for your brain to follow a train of thought to the end because of the person sitting to your left.

Hyperaware of Steve, your logical and emotional sides are at war, periodically freezing the hordes of butterflies that just will not give up. Each beat of their wings heat your belly and cheeks only for leaden worry to replace it. And guilt.

Consumed with your own turmoil, you do nothing to keep track of the real world until Steve suddenly cuts the engine, proclaiming the destination has been reached. A few stairs up, the lights of the city visible through narrow windows in the stairwell, and on to a front door which the Captain unlocks before offering your to enter first, like the gentleman he apparently is.

Dark hair swings out of the face as Barnes looks up, nailing you to the spot with his icy eyes. “Ohooo, so this’s the emergency y’didn’t want me along for?”

“Bucky.” There’s a hint of a warning barely hidden there.

“Nah, man, it’s okay,” Bucky chuckles, winking jovially, “Wouldn’t wanna be a third wheel anyways.”

Despite the red ears, there’s no warmth left in Steve’s voice now: “James.”

You silently watch a standoff unfold between the blond captain and his friend with the shit-eating grin plastered across his face until, eventually, the cheeky ex-assassin decides to back off to his own room, leaving Steve alone to help you settle for the night.

It’s not a huge place, but from the looks of it it’s perfect for a pair of friends sharing the kitchen, bathroom and living room while having each their own bedroom – at least you did spot a perfectly made bed before Bucky pushed the door shut behind him and somehow you don’t think the two would manage to share a normal sized bed. King size, minimum? Keeping silent, it’s easy to follow Cap through to his room (with a “full”) while he babbles absentmindedly about towels, pillows, and lending out t-shirts for the night.

“– and I’ll keep the light on in the living room so you can find me…I’ll be on the couch…or the or the way to the –“

What he says finally catches your attention. “Wait what?”

“Uhh…light?”

He looks cute when perplexed, you realize and promptly try to ignore. “No the…you’re not sleeping on the couch.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. It’s no big deal, it’s comfy.” A shimmer of the stubbornness from the standoff a moment ago has returned.

I’ll give you stubborn. “Good, then I’ll be perfectly fine there, thank you.”

A snigger warns both of you before the tauntingly sarcastic voice booms through the wall: “And tHeRe wAs o-oNly onE Be-eD!”

… Clint …

“She’s an adult.”

Even with woolen socks, the man still manages to stomp as he paces back and forth.

“She’s not our kid, honey.”

Fingers tap restlessly against his thigh, itching to dial Rhodes number or to fire an arrow…maybe at Rhodes. Good thing he’s not here.

“Her problem solving’s commendable and…” Laura sighs, trying to hide the roll of her eyes behind a hand before stopping her husband with a steely gaze. “Clinton Francis Barton. Y’listenin’ to me? [Y/N] is an adult and in good hands because she made a smart decision and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“But –“ He motions wildly to the phone where the messages still can be seen on the screen. “The plan was –“

Laura isn’t just used to dealing with superheroes. She’s a wife and a mother too, and a faithful partner through thick and thin. For years, she’s been preparing for and handling events like this, and Clint is in awe at her calm. Serenity. Looking at her, he realizes for the millionth time through their years together that she is his rock by which he can secure himself and find steady ground.

A few deep breaths then he can seek refuge in her embrace. “You’re right, sweetheart,” he admits, “it’s just hard not to be protective o’ her. What if’t’d been Lila?”

“Then Lila would have known what to do too.” He can feel her smile as Laura kisses his head. “We’ve got smart kids…all three and a half.”

Silence falls between the adults, allowing the crackle of firewood to prevail – it’s one of those sounds Clint cherishes too much to remove the hearing aids for. That and birds singing. And the sound of wind in grass. For too many years none of those sounds had carried any meaning because the most important of them all were missing: the voices of his family. Even now when the kids are sleeping and Laura sits quietly, he can still hear them or at the very least their living echo.

“She’s not gone,” she murmurs gently.

Magical wife. “I know.”

… Reader …

On a scale from zero (none at all) to ten (the worst possible), the level off awkwardness is steady right about an eleven…maybe a nine if you don’t breathe and move which on the other hand would make it a very uncomfortable experience in other ways. Who’d have thought? To be fair, you did but there’s no way you’re changing your mind now.

Even where you are lying in the darkness, you can feel the heat radiating off of Steve who is lying equally rigid, probably with his hands neatly above the blanket he has insisted on using just so you could have the duvet. At least he accepted you slept with a smaller spare pillow, something you had rejoiced for a moment, foolishly thinking his scent wouldn’t be so overpowering…dude, were you wrong. Careful not to move too much, you squirm until you’re on your side.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks softly.

Duh. “Might help if ya sing me a lullaby.”

The mattress shakes with soundless laughter. “Not sure my taste of music’s…y’know…the right kind.”

“What d’you listen to?”

Awkward minutes turn into peaceful hours as the two of you chat about music, books, anything really as time passes until sleep finally overpowers you.

…

Gnnnnooo…something big and warm is moving ever so slowly, trying to free itself from under your arm and head. In your sleep muddled brain, it only matters that the being equals safety for some reason. But despite the half-hearted whine you still end up alone although the covers are tugged nicely around you, eliciting a semi-pleased sigh from your lips.

A few minutes pass where you try to silence an insistent nagging in the back of your head, too tempted by sleep to want to dig out the bugger. There is a clang of a pot or something on the stove, jarring your mind a bit further. Cooking. The little thought bounces up and down in your spongy brain, already prepping the spotlight for the natural associations. Person…cooking…person. Now the nagging is millimeters from turning into realization in all its shiny glory. Person. Steve.

“Ohshitfuckno!”

Sitting up with a jolt, wide-eyed and hair a mess, everything comes crashing back. The visit yesterday before you called the Captain for a ride. Of course the chat as you both lay there in the dark, pretending and eventually believing it wasn’t weird at all.

“Oh…”

All of it meaning that the person gently pushing you away must have been Steve. Captain America. And you had snuggled him in your sleep.

“Please, kill me now,” you breathe, face hidden behind hands and hair.

“So…no eggs for you?” You can hear the shy smile in Steve’s voice just as clearly as the measured footsteps bringing him to the bed where he sits. “It’s alright, doll…you’re safe here.”

Despite the heat spreading all over your face, you still manage to look at him and return the smile. “I know.”

“Good.” For a moment it looks as though he wants to reach out for you, his hand twitching in the lap but never moving further. “I-uhmm…the Barton’s will probably want you back but…but would you want to visit Banner at his lap?”

There’s a distinct sense of disappointment. Not because you don’t want to check out the renowned scientist’s lab, but because…because what?

Pushing away an unformulated theory, you smile gently. “That’d be awesome.”

“Alright.”

And with that he’s leaving to sort the cooking, only pausing to pull a towel out of the cabinet so you can shower.

41 notes · View notes

slowjamastan · 3 years

Text

I HATE ECEVERUTHING!!!!!‘nn EM!!! NOBODY CAB FUCKING FUCK A FUCKING FUCKKN SKWLETON YOU CANT FUCK A SKELETON YOU CANT DO IT!!!!! YOU CANT FUCK A FUCKING SKELETON IT HAS NOTHING TO FUCK THERE IS LIYERALLY NOTHJNG THERE KR WOULD HURT!!!! IT WOULD HURT AND BE COLD AND NOT FUN!! NO FUN AT FUCKING A FUCKINH AKELETON AND HWRE ARE ALL THESE FUCKING TEENS THT IM GONNA FUCKING /KINKSHAME/ CALL ME THE PUREST FORM OF A FUCKING K I N K S H A M E R BECAUSE YOU CANT FUCK A SKELETON IM GONNNABBABANA SAY IT A FUCKING GAIN YOU CANNOT BY ANY FUCKING MEANS FUCK A BONEMAN BONEDADDY BONEY BRO NO THERES NO WAY THERES NOTHING THERE YOU GONNA FUCKING???? RUB YOUR GENITALS ON A BONE??? ON A PELVIS YOU WNANA GRIND ON A BONEY FUCKING PELVISCvv??? REALLY????????????FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU C A N N O T C A N N T FUCK A S K E L E T O N IM SO MAD IM SOMAS IM SO MAS I SHSODMAD IMSO MAD IMNSOMAD IMSOMAD IMSOA MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD. YOU CANT FUCK A SKELETOB I WANNA PPPPPUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH SONETHING YOU FANT FUCK A SKELETOB YOU CANT CUFUCK A SKELEOETOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO YYYYYYPI CANT FYCKCA A FUCKCING SKELEON BYIU CANT FUCK A NOKNE OU WVAKAMKNSHSGWHSUWMUWKANODUWLAOWTWIWPQMSBGXTXISWPPQEYEBXH YCKWOW GRONSHS YOU CANT MMM MM YIU CANNOT MMM F U CK A S K E LE TO OB NECROPHEILA IS A FUCKCINBH CRIMW WABNA GO TO FUCKING PRISON YOU DIRTY BONE FUCKER?????? YOU FUCK BONES?????? DUSTY BONES!?????!? YOH WANNA FUCKING DIE???? ITS!!!! FAKEBbb!!!!!! SANS IS A FUCKIG BONE MAN B O N E. BO N E. BONEONONE BOOOOIIIIOOOOOOOONE BONEY BRONEY HES A BOBE ONE BONE ABOBE P HE HAS NO MAGIC FUCKING JELLY DICK HE HAS NOTHING HE HAS SHORTS ANS A PELVIS I WANT TO CONNIT AUICIDE HE HAS NO TONGUE HE CANT KISS YOU YOU DIRTY BONE FUCKER HE HAS NO DICK HE CANT FUCK YOU YOU DIRTY BONE FUCKER HE HAS NOTHING N O T H I N G ITS E M P T Y HAVE YOUEVER SEEEEEEN A SKELETONVnvnv?!?!!??! A FUCKING SLELETON??!?!?!?!!??? v v vbbbbbbbiughkdmcgkydurtirgkhkg_ fycking SKELEEEWETON??!?? BONE!!!!!!!! BONES?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUCKING BOOOOOOOOOBES BOOOOOOOOOOOOOONES BOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSA AEE YOU SAD HE HAS NO MEATY HANDS NO FAT FUCKING HANDS TO HOLD YOU WITH AT NIGHT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT NO HANDS HES A S K E L E TON SJELEON !!!! !!! FUCK YALL!!!! FUCK YALL HE IS A FUCKING SKELETON

2 notes · View notes

detroitbydark · 5 years

Note

oOOOoooOOOOOo indulge my obsession with morning sex please thank you

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Word Count: 870

Warnings: Penetrative sex.

A/N: Just a quickie. Hope you enjoy it. Love you bunches!!!

You watched sleepily as early morning light began to creep in across the floorboards of your bedroom, it’s slow progress brightened and warmed the early morning chill in the air. You should get up and put a pot on but Harrison had gotten home late last night and you were happy to stay wrapped up in his strong arms a little bit longer. It was Sunday and you had a whole day of nothing to do and nowhere to be.

“Morning sweetheart.” His voice is laced with sleep, leaving him sounding gravelly and sedated. His arm draped across your waist pulls you even closer as you feel his mouth press against your exposed neck. You sigh happily.

“I missed this” you murmur appreciatively.

“Me too. I love our Sundays.”

Sunday had become your go-to lazy day. Sunday’s were for pancakes and earl grey lattes while Jack Johnson played quietly in the background.

“I’ll get up in a minute and start breakfast?” Haz asks. You sigh as his fingers trace patterns pushing up under the t-shirt you’d stolen from him to sleep in, the calluses on his hands bringing goosebumps to life across your skin.

You wiggle back against him, can feel him already semi hard and pressing against your lower back.

“Maybe we can stay in bed a little longer?” You ask sweetly. Haz grunts softly as you shift higher in the bed, moving until he is gently grinding against your panties. You rotate your hips softly, soaking up the sound of his breathing growing rough in your ear.

“Little tease” he taunts but you can hear the smile in his voice.

“I’m only a tease if I don’t follow through.” That comment has Harrison’s fingers pressing into the flesh at your hip before he begins dragging them under the waistband of your panties.

“Should I take them off?” You ask as his palm slips down over your mound and the tips of his fingers tease at your folds. He drags the slickness he finds up to your clit and makes slow circles that have your mouth falling open into silent “O” of pleasure.

“Leave them on.” You feel him adjusting behind you until you finally feel the hard press of him nestling between your thighs. He thrusts a handful of time between your closed thighs and you feel your panties damp and sticking to your sex.

“Haz don’t tease” you whine as his fingers keep circling your clit.

“Your wish is my command, Kitten.” Right now you just want him inside you. His hand leaves your clit and you bite your lip, feeling the loss.

“Pick your leg up.” He encourages as you drape your upper leg over his thigh, opening yourself up to him. “Good girl.” He praises softly as his hand pulls the soft cotton of your panties to the side. You feel the tip of his erection probing gently. You bring a hand down and guide it up and down your slit until it slips easily with your built up arousal. Slowly, almost lazily you guide him into your center. He sheaths himself in one long, slow stroke giving you a moment to adjust.

“Baby, I need you to move.” You whimper as you adjust to the stretch of him. Neither of you speak as he begins to stroke into you with the long lazy press of his hips.

His hand lets loose your panties and grips your hip. Your lower back arches into him and you hear him inhale sharply. There’s no rush to your love making, he mouths softly at your neck as you fuck back onto him. Calloused fingers slide up your body and trace over pebbled nipples nipples in your borrowed tee before rolling them in the way that always made you lose your mind.

“Haz…” You whimper uselessly.

“Shh...kitten. I’ve got you” he encourages as your soft sounds continue to fill the still morning air. “Touch yourself for me. I need to feel you cum for me.” Your hand slips down between your thighs as his pace increases. Your fingers circle your clit with intent, your aim to reach your peak for Haz. He whispers sweet words in your ear between sucking tiny marks along your shoulder.

You feel your body beginning to tighten around him and he grunts in response as your body squeezes him so tightly.

“That’s it, darling. Give me everything. God, your so beautiful like this.” You loved how he talked when you were together. “I’m getting close” he grunts his next thrust bumping against a spot inside you that makes your toes curl.

You feel that coil low in your belly building as his hips begin to stutter against you, your fingers move faster, your breathing ragged until finally your release takes you moaning Harrison’s name over the edge. Harrison thrusts twice more before you feel him spilling inside you. You can’t help the smile the washes across your face as his whispers out a harsh curse.

“Gonna need a few minutes here” he laughs as you both come back into yourselves. You luxuriate in the glow of his love as his hand travels up and down your body, “than I’m gonna make you the best banana pancakes you’ve ever had.”

#harrison osterfield fic #haz osterfield #harrison osterfield #prompt #aossi

69 notes · View notes

cartooness · 5 years

Text

Sum Masonder Stuff part 82 or something lol

Okay, so. Lavender Grey and Mason Adalbert are both huge dorks. They are. And they're in love and it's beautiful. So, here are some dialogues I've made up for them haha.

Lav, jokingly,- You look like a cheeto.

Mason- Well at least I'm flaming hot then!

Lav, staring at Mason, admiring him with so much love- You're gorgeous. <3

Mason, blushing like crazy,- *sputter* NO YOU!! YOU'RE MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER!! YOU'RE A LITERAL GODDESS IN THE FLESH!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!

Lav, red as a strawberry,- O///////O thanks.

*proceeds to hold him tight under the blankets*

Lav- I love all of you <3

Mason- You do??? :')

Lav- Of course I do! I love you here *pecks his forehead* and here *pecks his cheek* and here *this goes on for a while lmao*

••Like almost an hour later••

Lav, very smitten,- Does that answer your question?

Mason, malfunctioning due to the amount of love,- Yeah. My turn.

Lav- Heh.

Mason- *does the exact same thing*

Lav- Button?

Mason- Lovely?

Lav- >///< sorry I just. Love my pet name so much.

Mason- Well it's true! You ARE lovely! *hugs her and kisses the corner of her mouth*

Lav- Aww, thanks n///n

Lav- Button. I'm cold. Are you?

Mason- Yeah, kinda.

Lav- Wait I'll get us a blanket. *uses magic to levitate a blanket towards them*

Mason- Also my heart is cold. Can you warm it up owo??

Lav- *adjusts blankey, then snuggles up close to him.* Of course. <3

Mason- Can I kiss you please?

Lav- Okay.

Mason- *kisses her hands*

Lav- Ò/////Ó *SPUTTER*

Mason- ÒwÓ

Lav- Hmph. My turn. *holds his face and kisses him rather passionately*

Mason, a few minutes later,- Ò////Ó

Lav- ÒwÓ

Mason- Lav is like a basket.

Travis- Explain.

Mason- She holds me.

Lav- *is carrying him bridal style* uwu

Lav- WHAT'S CRACK A LAKIN BIG SMACKING!!!! *passes out*

Mason- !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Decan- She's been like this for an hour. I'm scared. Do you think you know what happened?

Mason- ...catnip.....

Decan- Wha?

Mason- *sigh* Okay so, Jace invited Lav and I to the animal shelter he works at and she was playing with all the cats, which was absolutely ADORABLE, and SOMEHOW, SHE FOUND CATNIP, SNIFFED IT, AND NOW SHE'S HIGH OR SOMETHING!!! Is it because she has cat like qualities????

Decan- She. Got high. Off of catnip??

Lav, delirious,- HELL YEAH I DID!!! *goes back to the floor*

Decan- I'll carry her to her room. *sigh*

((This was so stupid fhdhgsfhah))

Mason- Your eyes sparkle like the ocean~♡

Lav- My eyes are brown?

Mason- Your eyes sparkle like the Hudson River?

Lav- Button, can we cuddle please?

Mason- Of course!

*cuddle each other*

Lav- *snuggles up real close*

You're such a wonderful human being, you know that? You're so compassionate about others, even when you've had a rocky past, you listen to others and what they have to say, and you're never angry like, ever. It's really rare to find people like that.

Mason-.... well, I'd say you're not so bad yourself. First of all, you're like. The most powerful human to ever exist, and that's really saying something, and from what I've been told, you escaped from your childhood hell and actually made it here, and by the luck of the all mighty universe, found a family to call your own. And the trauma? You have a super strong support system AND you're a natural born fighter. Not to mention, you are like, SO smart about so many different things. It's amazing. And you're so, so sweet and passionate about so many people and things you love and care about. Falling in love with you was the best thing that's ever happened to me. *realizes what he just said*

Lav- *blushing like crazy* you... fell in love.... with me?

Mason- Yes! I have! I've fallen and I can't get up! You're, just, so smart, so passionate, so strong, not to mention you're absolutely GORGEOUS in every sense of the word, how could I not fall in love with you! I love you! So much!

... I love you too. Jesus, I am so in love with you I literally can't put it into words. You are such a wonderful, kind, handsome, absolutely adorable human being, all around the absolute love of my life. *holds his face*

Lav- And I think I want to kiss you until I can't feel my face anymore. You?

Mason *blushing* - Yes please.

And then they’re hardcore making out, and by that I mean they're in a mad lip lock while hands are entangled in hair and/or holding the others face. This goes on for a while lmao.

~~About like 7 minutes later~~

Lav- *breathless and very lovestruck*

Mason- *Also very breathless and very lovestruck* So... my love, how'd I do?

Lav- Well, darling, I think you've really outdone yourself~

And then they’re snuggled up into each other, once again, enjoying the moment. <3 ((they're so cute ahhhhh))

Ok so, I like to think Mason would definitely have yearning sessions with Kyle because they would. So this was right before lav and mason got like, together together.

Kyle- You ever just have the need to like. Cuddle up with someone. And hold them close.

Mason, in a proper yearning mood,- Ugh, YES. Don't judge please, but you know Lavender?

Kyle- Yeah. We see each other every day, and she made me pride pins. That was really kind of her.

Mason- .... I would love to hold her tight and just. Snuggle up with her all day. Yeah, that sounds wonderful.... -///-

Kyle- OOOH! YOU LIKE HER!!!! ~~~

Mason- Heh!? Wha.... maybe!!! I don't have to tell you!!! *hiding his face*

Kyle- My dude, it's okay! I mean, she's nice and stuff, you guys are already giod friends, so it's not like there'd be any major problems I guess.

Mason- Well, yeah, but I just don't know if she likes me back! Like, as more than a friend!! I dunno. I'm going to her place tomorrow on Friday, and maybe I'll tell her then. Better to rip the band aid off now when it's fresh or whatever.

Kyle- Ah, ok. Tell me how it goes!! But for now, let's finish Mr. Caps homework.

Mason- Yeah, let's do that.

Ok now here's one with Lavender and her friend Tracy ; )

Lav- Cloudy?

Tracy- Yeah?

L- I like Mason. A lot.

T- *GASP* I KNEW IT!!!

L- WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNEW IT!?!?

T- Oh, please! You guys are so CUTE! You're always with one another, always enjoying company, and I'm pretty sure those platonic relationship cuddles are flustering you now. Do you get all shy and stuff when you're around him now?

Lav- Wha- yeah? But it used to not be that way!! Hmph. Damn his cute face and his laughter. And his caring touch. And his beautiful smile. He probably tastes sweet as well...

Tracy- >:3 You're head over heels for him!!!!!

Lav- Ò/////Ó TRACY PLEASE!!!! HE MIGHT NOT LIKE ME BACK THAT WAY!!!

T- But what if he does??

Lav- ... but what if he does? *hopeful*

And then they kissed the next day XD

So me and my lovely mutual @ghostly-business came up with these uwu

Did you know Lav's favorite way to hold Mason is by straddling him and snuggling into his chest while holding each other taught? Also he strokes her hair and face as well ((Note- on this blog straddling is never s*xual)) And they're on her bed, with a warm blankey, enjoying the moment :'') They nap/sleep together all the time. For reals. Mason has been in her room more times than he can count lol. They are so cute and fluffy and in love it makes me so soff Lav wears flavored lip balm all the time (like me, currently wearing the flavor strawberry sprinkle :p) , so she likes to kiss him and she'll be all like "What flavor is it? OwO" and he'll either actually guess or be like "Hmmm, I dunno, I need to taste it again ;)" cause he's flirty like that sometimes and they're favorite flavor is root beer. Or he decides to purposely guess something very wrong to mess with her, and guesses things that are inedible like “toothpaste” and they both giggle about it YES. HE WOULD.

"Pft, not even CLOSE to blueberry, Button."

"I know, I know."

OH WAIT WAIT WAIT

Have you seen Cloudy with a chance of meatballs???

JELLO SCRUNCHIE????

You know that scene where flint and same like, puffed their cheeks up and kissed each other? Big masonder vibes right there :OOOOOOOOOOOOO :D !! I also rly love the jello scrunchie tooo aH

Honestly they are like, a version of masonder. Exactly, The embodiment of masonder. YES. Also Mason would totally go to like. A peach farm and pick a bunch for lav cause she loves peaches. Mason, one day, on the phone, "Hey lav meet me at my place I have a surprise byeee" Imagine them. Sharing a peach tho, like, they just take a big bite of it at the same time and then give each other the biggest smiles. Y E S.

I’m. Somft

And she's all like "Ah, nothing beats a near over ripe peach!" Mason, "I think your smile begs to differ" Lav-😶😶😶

Mason- And you're definitely way sweeter than they'll ever be <33 *pecks her lips*

I'M SOFF DAMMIT

I just had a wonderful idea. Lav and Mason, on a fruit farm date, And they have so much fun. There's a bunch of kids there as well, and it's so cute seeing them help the babies reach stuff. Or taking pictures for other families. Yessss love that.

Imagine they find this weird looking fruit and give it a name like “Fred” or something like that and take a bunch of photos/selfie of said fruit. Y E S. THEY WOULD. I'M LOVE. Mason- LOVELY OMG LOOK AT THIS STRAWBERRY

Lav- :OOO It looks like a Fred! They name it after Scooby doo’s Fred Jones because it looks similar to him. Like it’s just vaguely Freddy like. And then it's the evening, they have like 2 baskets of various apples and peaches and stuff, and they're sitting under a big tree, Lav's head on his shoulder, and Lav's all like "Mason, I'm going to feed you a strawberry, okay?" "Okay. Ah-" and then she catches his mouth in a kiss and starts passionately kissing him. He's kissing her back as well, and after a minute or two, they depart and he holds her in his lap. The sun is going down, so they head to Mason's house, and they put away all the fruit they didn't already eat, and now they're in his room. Mason lays on his bed, Lav right after. Then they get real close and snuggle into each other. "I love you." "I love you too." And then they drift to sleep.

:'''''))))

OK BUT I had this new idea abt the whacky strawberry thing - what if, instead of Fred Jones, the strawberry looked vaguely like Lewis. They call it “Lewis Pepperberry” and the second they show Lewis he’s just: ಠ_ಠ. Lewis Pepperberry has a very special place in the fridge.

Oooh! Yay! Lav put a spell on it so it'll never rot.

I’m thinkin the green leaves of the strawberry could be the 2 little tufts of hair on the back of head (hopefully you know what I’m talking abt lol -) Must never let the Pepperberry rot.

Oh Vivi and Arthur would absolutely LOVE the Pepperberry, they would never let Lewis live it down. They would pepper it in (hehe) to their conversations from time to time and Lewis would always be caught off guard by it. Mystery would find it kinda ridiculous but support it anyways (and maybe put into some of their conversations as well sometimes)

Vivi, after kissing Lewis,- Mm, sweet as a pepper berry~♡

Lewis- Ò////Ò Vivi, darling, Please....

Oh did I ever tell you lav is strong enough to bridal style carry Mason and she loves to scoop him up and shower his face and jaw with kisses?

“Sometimes our relationship is built by being silly and Lav holding me bridal style and smooching me” - Mason

Also yes, masonder in a nutshell. Infinite smooches and holding. Along with being huge dorks. Omg. You know how when moms kiss their newborn babies and they make those little noises while they kiss them 50 times on the same spot of their cheek? This makes little sense, but Lav and Mason kiss each other like that. They like, chose a spot and rapid fire kiss it like 50 times and it makes this little like, noise, IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN LMAOO. I literally can't explain it omg. But they smooch All. The. Time. And Mason is a surprisingly good kisser lol. Lav is almost there XD.

I think you may be talking about a raspberry (not the fruit, the informal def is: a sound made with the tongue and lips in order to express derision or contempt. It’s like a pbbth sound I think how you’d describe it? I might be wrong so correct me if I am lol) KINDA. Like, it sounds like you're calling for like. A cat. This makes no sense I'm so sorry. It’s alright XD

But they do blow little raspberries on like the neck and stuff to get a laugh out of each other. Awwww.

:OOO

The night of their wedding. They go to their room it's literally DRENCHED in pillows and blankets and sheets. There's a note from everyone that says "do what you want :p" They build the best pillow fort ever and be cute and cuddle and snuggle. They also try for a baby but that's another story lol

XD I love that tho pillow forts are most certainly their thing. They do it every Friday night and watch a sappy movie too with their favorite beverage.

I LOVE YOU, YES They're watching Frozen and Lav is belting all the songs as Mason awkwardly dances, he sings along as well. Big cuddle time, Lav is probably laying in or on Mason’s lap, or against his side with her arms wrapped around him and his hand stroking her hair. Yes :'') They always sing along during musicals on Friday night’s it’s a rule that must NEVER be broken. Y E S. (Unless they’re in a theater, that’s the only exception tho) Of course uwu

:OOO THEY SING BROADWAY TOGETHER. YES. BROADWAY MUSICALS THAT IS. THEY KNOW THE BE MORE CHILL AND MEAN GIRLS MUSICAL BY HEART. Those also happen to be the only musicals I know all the songs of haha. Mason definitely brushes her hair. Lavender has very voluminous hair and it's long and pretty and so much fun to play and style it. He'll blow dry it and brush it for her 100% And then he'll hold her and sleep with her :') I’m listening to a song in Singin in The Rain and I heard the PERFECT masonder quote that I think fits them really well: *it’s raining pretty hard outside* Lav - “Be careful, it’s raining a little harder than usual tonight.”

Mason - “Really? From where I stand the sun is shining all over the place ~”

And then Mason gives a sweet peck to her lips (it’s not the EXACT quote from the movie bc I altered it so it isn’t as specific and could be applied anywhere, but it still followed what was said)

Awwwwwwwww I love it!!

I don't deserve my own ocs mgsmgysltsltlstlstlslts

XD They’re too good for this world. Exactly. They have so, so SO much love for each other.

😍😍😍😍😍 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Constant masonder mood.

Definitely.

And that's what we came up with XD

#mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #Lavender grey #Mason adalbert #masonder

10 notes · View notes