#Nil Desperandum

[kitty-bandit]

Newest fic binding— Nil Desperandum by @sadviper

Gold foiling w/ Cricut

Cut by hand and w/ Cricut

Typeset w/ MS Word

This was a joy to bind and I love how it turned out. If you’d like me to bind a fic for you, please DM me!

#personal #kitty bandit binds books #fic binding #Nil Desperandum #SadViper #the king: eternal monarch

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

Nil Desperandum (Never Despair)

Warning: Angst, but good ending. Kind of a fix it fic. Needed to get it out.

Her phone rang.

Gabi looked up from the CCTV monitors, eyebrows raised, the fear in her eyes echoing her own. Riot grabbed the phone to see 'My Throne' on the screen. Calling.

Simon never called. She answered, her hand shaking.

''What's wrong?''

''Lovie...''

Her blood ran cold with his tone. What could have Simon all that choked up?

Who?

''NO!''

Simon was startled out of his slumber when Christine shot up upright on the bed, her eyes wide and a cold sheen of sweat covering her skin, seeing nothing, panting heavily.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, trying to pry the sheets off her hands balled in fists. Sighing, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, dragging her against his chest to craddle her.

''It's alright, love. Only a nightmare. Everything is alright'' His fingers wiped off the few tears that already covered her cheeks, but they didn't stop, and soon she was sobbing in his arms, like almost every night since that moment almost a month ago.

''No, no, no, no, no...'' Christine cried against his chest, gripping his t-shirt now that Simon had managed to get her to release the sheets, and he held her tighter. Then he got up from the bed and lifted her in his arms, feeling her legs wrapping around his waist, her arms tight around his shoulders and her face buried in the crook of his neck.

''C'mon, lovie, let's go check'' Simon murmured into her hair, one of his forearms supporting her body and using his free hand to open the door of their bedroom to step outside.

She continued sobbing the whole way to the neighbouring bedroom, where Simon knocked only once before opening the door.

''Simon, what...?'' Gabi sat up on the bed, rubbing her eyes, but when she saw the scene her own hazel-green eyes welled up. She had cried until she had fallen asleep too every night for the last month, but thankfully her nightmares weren't as frequent.

''Aww, bonnie...'' Johnny grinned widely when Simon sat down next to him on the bed, with the sobbing Christine still clinging to him. ''Am alright, hen, don't ye worry...''

''Johnny'' She cried even more violently when he sat up carefully with Simon's help, grunting and trying not to bend his bandaged side too much. The stitches on his face had come off a while ago, and the fresh, badass (per his words) scar that crossed his left eye was still raw.

But his smile was as goofy as always.

''C'mere, hen''

Christine dragged herself out of Simon's arms and into Johnny's, sobbing into his t-shirt and wetting it with her tears as he cooed and murmured into her hair, holding her gently. Gabi snuggled up against them, tears running down her cheeks as well.

''Not going anywhere, Chris'' His blue eyes rose up to meet Simon's deep brown ones, and the stoic Lieutenant even smiled at him back. ''Am here to stay''

''You better, Johnny'' Simon grunted, one of his hands gripping the Scot's wrist on her hair, tight. ''You fucking better''

#john soap mactavish #johnny soap mactavish #soap and riot #simon ghost riley x christine riot vega #gabriella gabi cruz #cod oc #cod original character #call of duty original character #cod fanfic #call of duty fanfic #cod fanfiction #soap mw2 #soap call of duty #soap cod #cod ghost #mw2 ghost #simon ghost riley

[aziraphales-library]

Hi!

Do you know any fics from the POV of Heaven or Hell?

Hello. Here are some fics from the point of view of other angel and demon characters...

Lost Property by PinkPenguinParade (T)

“You’ve taken something of mine, dear boy, and I will have it back.” The angel held out a hand, firm but still bafflingly polite, and just... waited. Angelically. In the back corridors of Hell. Right next to the Thing in the disused lavatory.

The Before and the After, and the Fall that Separates by orphan_account (T)

Raphael neither slinks down past Earth to the fires, nor winks out near the surface. Raphael remains bright and strong, flickering like a summer lightning bug, and then settles near the outskirts of London.

Omia, with sweat running rivulets down her cheeks and her arms shaking from exertion, stares and stares and stares until the glow blurs with Heaven around her.

Raphael is on Earth.

Observer Effect by Square Pudding (T)

Heaven dispatches a Grigori to monitor any "suspicious activity" between Aziraphale and a certain agent of Hell.

The Angel of Justice by MirjamOmens (T)

The Almighty demotes Gabriel without an explanation, and it falls to Michael to figure out why. The investigation takes Michael to Earth to find out what happened when the Armageddon was cancelled, and what kind of relationship a certain angel and a demon really have.

(Or: The Five times Michael questioned others about Aziraphale, and the one time Aziraphale questioned Michael.)

damn.nation, now available on itunes by antistar_e (T)

When lowly tempt-pusher Amphora (formerly of Stairwell 7B North, before she Fell,) gets the notice that end times are nigh, she gleefully quits her job and cancels her Netflix subscription and takes her place among the legions of hell.

This, it turns out, was a bad plan.

Nil Desperandum by Rurouni_Idoru (M)

Nil was a nobody. Well, actually, she did in fact literally have a body, which put her ahead of a handful of some of the other demons. But metaphorically speaking, she didn’t rate, as her name might suggest. This wasn’t necessarily a problem; she found that being habitually overlooked allowed her a measure of freedom that she kind of enjoyed. There was no scrutiny on a nobody.

One of Hell's working stiffs seeks out some help from the only two creatures to have ever beaten the system. It doesn't go exactly as planned. Not that there was much of a plan.

- Mod D

#good omens #ineffable husbands #outsider pov #original demon character(s) #original angel character(s) #heaven and hell #mod d

[radical-revolution]

This world is your best teacher. There is a lesson in everything. There is a lesson in each experience. Learn it and become wise. Every failure is a stepping stone to success. Every difficulty or disappointment is a trial of your faith. Every unpleasant incident or temptation is a test of your inner strength. Therefore nil desperandum. March forward hero!

Sivananda

[copperbadge]

Sam, I am losing my mind! Yesterday I read that post about your misunderstanding of Y/N and your idea of writing a book playing with that and, well. I was just reading up on new books and an author named Esther Yi has just released one entitled "Y/N." At first I was like surely, SURELY, this must be "yes/no." But alas, it is indeed about fandom, and the main character is unnamed and writing self-insert fic and it is getting BUZZ. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry reading the copy for it, tbh

Aw man, beaten to the punch!

Mind you, I'm talking about a scifi opera written specifically as fanfic-bait, and I have to say that while Yi's novel looks thoughtful and multifaceted it also looks......let's say "dense". A review I read called it "luxuriously indecipherable" which I've learned usually means "you will find this extremely pretentious." Still, nil desperandum, I've been wrong before. I'm adding it to my reading list!

[masallardankalan]

"Nil desperandum"

#masallardankalan

[littlesparklight]

What is Do Not Despair about?

Do Not Despair/Nil Desperandum is a Teucer fic! Basically his homecoming after the war and how that goes down, and being forced to leave - with his mother, as my own invention. Because Hesione deserves to not have to die in captivity without her fucking son. :/ Have not quite planned out where it's going to end, but he'll reach Cyprus, at least!

I'm contemplating making the final version of the title in Latin, as it is either way a reference to Horace's 7th Ode, which is about Teucer and the men with him leaving Salamis. He utters those words in it, so it felt like a fun thing to include in the title! (And probably have in the fic, as well.)

Snippet:

Also, he had to admit, because going home meant facing his father.

Without Ajax.

Teucer almost choked on the surge of grief, throat closing up and his chest too tight to breathe. Not forgetting what he'd been thinking about, but rather it seemed to matter very little against the loss.

"Teucer? You need to eat," Tecmessa said as she came up beside him, drawing Teucer's attention back to both the here and now and what he'd been worrying about just before the reminder of the loss of his brother had overshadowed everything else.

He took the bowl thoughtlessly, but looked up at his brother's widow, slim and outlined by the ruddy light of the setting sun. That Ajax wasn't here to present her to Telamon would matter, to her too. Whether she realized that just yet or not, he was aware of it. More aware of it than he would've been years ago, certainly. More aware of it than he'd been back when he knew his mother wasn't treated exactly the same as Ajax's mother, but never thought of it much for she was still treated more like a lady than a slave. Partially because Eriboia had grace beyond what her husband possessed.

Tecmessa, however…

"How's Eurysaces?" Teucer asked, not yet reaching for the spoon stuck into the bowl.

His nephew would be well-cared for, no matter what happened to him or what Telamon would make of Ajax's widow. Eurysaces was the only thing left of Ajax, and so he would be welcomed and treasured by his grandparents. Some part of Teucer wished he didn't care enough about his brother's last wishes to fulfill them, for it'd be a way to get back at his father for what he was very sure was coming. A way to protect Eurysaces too, even if Telamon would raise his grandson well. He would just not raise him as Teucer thought Ajax's son deserved to be raised.

What would all those expectations do for yet another child under Telamon's care? One carrying not just Telamon's expectations on a son of his, but also the expectations on a son of Ajax's.

#lightart #teucer

[therodwestheider]

Nil desperandum, Across the desert lies the promised land. Goodbye, Adieu. Aufwiedersehen. Gesundheit. Farewell.

[ewweird]

前日譚公開前に

前日譚が公開され��前に、ウィリー���ウォンカの事を自分なりに書き出しておこうと思っただけです。 主に原作（と続編）のウィリー・ウォンカについて話してます。

・キャンディで出来たピンクのボートにはシートベルトなんて無く、ウォンカ自身ボートでぴょんぴょん飛び跳ねてる（危険） 「もっと速く！もっと速く！」とかなりのスピードが出ているにもかかわらずスピードを要求する ・ツアーの最後にガラスのエレベーターで工場の屋根を突き抜けようとする（危険）（しかも自身でも試したことがない） チャーリーの感覚で言ってもジェットコースターみたいな速さの出ているガラスのエレベーター この二点だけでも、自分の工場で普段から利用している乗り物を遊園地の絶叫系アトラクションのようにしている ・獰猛な獣がうようよいるルンパランドへ単独で乗り込んでいる（しかも誰も知らない国）（獰猛な獣も誰も知らない生き物） ので、スリルが好きな人なんだろうなと。 ・また、ガラスのエレベーターで移動中に、別のガラスのエレベーターと衝突する可能性があることをほのめかし、そして今までぶつかったことがないことを話すウォンカ ここで自身の事を運が良いと話しているんですよね。（'I've always been lucky so far,'said Mr Wonka.）（「わたしは、いままでのところ運がよかったもので」） この二点から、まず後継者をゴールデンチケットの当選者から選ぼうとしたのは自身が「運が良い」ので「運が良い子ども」が第一条件として選んだのではないかなと考えたりしていました。 それとピンクのボートも運が悪ければ振り落とされる子どももいた可能性があるし、そんな運の悪い子も後継者ではなかったのかなと、もしかしたら最後の工場の屋根を付き抜けることも、これで耐えられなかったら自分の運も無くこれで終わり、チャーリーも運が悪いからこれで終わりってことだったのかな、なんてね。 ＞「ウォンカさんはボートの後ろで飛び跳ね、漕ぎ手たちにもっと速くもっと速く漕ぐように呼びかけていました。彼はチョコレートの川をピンクのボートで白いトンネルを抜ける感覚が大好きなようで、手を叩き、笑い、乗客が自分と同じくらい楽しんでいるかどうかを確かめ続けました。（18章より）」 このピンクのボートに乗っている際に、自分と同じくらい楽しんでいるかどうかを楽しんでいるかどうかを確かめ続けたという所で、第二条件が自身が「スリルが大好き」なので「同じくスリルを楽しんでくれる子ども」が第二条件だったのではないかなと考えていたんですよね。 ＞「ジョーおじいちゃんは足にしがみついているチャーリーを見下ろして「チャーリー大丈夫かい？」と言いました。チャーリーは叫んだ。「大好きだよ！まるでジェットコースターに乗っているみたい！」（25章より）」 ウォンカさんが後継者に選ぶ条件が自身と同じような「運が良くて」「スリルが好き」で、自分の作ったお菓子が純粋に好きで、そのお菓子が出来る工場にわくわくしながら来てくれたらうれしいな、そこに想像力が豊かならなおのこと！って所だったのだろうかな …と、まあ夢みてしまってますね。 ゴールデンチケット事態、そもそも子どもに当たるかどうかは定かではなく、大人に当たる可能性もあったのに何故子どもに宛てた文章だったのかは、自身が運が良いので必ず子どもに当たるという根拠のない自信だったのかななどと思っています。 ウォンカの話ではなくてチャーリーの話になってしまいますが、チャーリー・バケットはそんな「運が良くて」「スリルを楽しんでくれる」子どもだったんですよね。 チャーリーが学校に行くまでの通り道にチョコレート工場があるので、徒歩でチョコレート工場に向かえる。もしも全然違う国に住んでいたら行けなくて、ゴールデンチケットを売っていた可能性があるんですよね。それも含めてとっても「運が良い」んですよねチャーリーって。 そしてピンクのボートもガラスのエレベーターも楽しんでいる。 マグカップになみなみと注がれたチョコレートを飲んでウォンカさんに"You like it?"「お味はどうかな？」と聞かれ、 "Oh, it's wonderful!"「素晴らしいです！」とも答えてもいるものね。 ルンパランドでの出来事で、誰も足の踏み入れたことのない国のウンパルンパの話すルンパ語でウンパルンパ達と交渉した点、更にリス達にくるみを殻から丸ごと取り出す訓練を施したという点。 リス達に関しては訓練を直接ウォンカが施したという言及はあり���せんが、ルンパランドでの交渉を見るに、自身で訓練を施したのではないかというのは私の仮説ではあります。 ただ、ルンパ語をその場で使いこなして交渉出来るウォンカさんなら、リス語も使いこなして交渉はしてそうじゃないですか。 それに続編では宇宙人のこともご存じですから、宇宙語も話せてそうですね。 （自分でも何を言っているのかよくわからなくなってきました） ルンパランドでの出来事でもう一つ、朝食代わりに10人も平らげてしまう獰猛な獣がうようよいるジャングルをたった一人で突き進んだのは、とんでもなくウォンカさんが強いからでは？と考えてしまうのですがどうでしょうかね。 ルンパランドでの出来事だけでも「語学が堪能」「腕っぷしが強い」というイメージがあります。 自身の発明品でジャングルを切り抜けた可能性もあるので、腕っぷしが強いに関してはちょっと違うかもしれません。想像は自由なので続けます。階段の手すりから滑り降りるくらいには元気ですよね。 語学が堪能という点においては、1971年版映画のウォンカさんはラテン語やフランス語も使っていますね。 ＞Nil desperandum(ラテン語) 絶望しないで！ ＞Au revoir, adieu, auf widersehn!(フランス語) さようなら、さよなら、もっと広く！ それから、ウィリー・ウォンカがチャーリー・バケットに工場を何故譲ろうと思ったのかを吐露する所ですね。 ＞"I’m an old man. I'm much older than you think. I can't go on for ever. I've got no children of my own, no family at all." 「私は年寄りです、あなたが思っているよりずっと年寄りなんです。この先ずっとは続けられない。私には子どもはいません、家族もいない。」 このウィリー・ウォンカが吐露する場面で、ジョーおじいちゃんからの問いかけに対して答えたのが、まず自身が年寄りであること。あなたが思っているよりもとつけ答えているんですよね。 ジョーおじいちゃんからの問いかけに対しての、あなたが思っているよりもの付け加えが、ずっとずっと年寄りであるというニュアンスに感じるのは、続編のVita-Wonkaの存在があるからでしょうか。 あなたはウィリー・ウォンカはあの薬を服用していると思いますか？ 私は未だにわかりません。 「私には子どもはいません、家族もいない。」このセリフが、前日譚にあたって、私がどうしてもここに着地してほしい点ではあります。 家族がいないという事は、ウィリー・ウォンカは自身が話す通り年寄りではありますし、その長い人生の中で"両親やもしかしたら兄弟がいたが死別や疎遠"になったのかもしれません。"孤児"であった可能性もあります。 それはお話の中ではこの台詞からの想像でしか無いのでわかりません。 ですがこの台詞をウィリー・ウォンカは吐露しました。 そして自分のやり方で運営しようとする大人ではなく、私のやり方で運営してほしいと後継者を探すために、チョコレートの中に5枚封入したゴールデンチケットの当選者の中から後継者を選ぼうとしたウィリー・ウォンカが好きなんですよね。

#catcf

[andyhau]

"Typhoon Days" was going to be the third release from the meteorological inspired "Headwinds" collection. Whereas previous mini-releases have been inspired by England’s famously cold and wet weather, "Typhoon Days" would have seen Quinn the Fox heading to warmer climes with a new collection inspired by tropical storms. As usual, the collection would have focused on things to do indoors. 

Consisting of notebooks, pens and other stationery, the colours for the collection was inspired by humidity: from the almost unbearable feeling of closeness in the air just before a thunderstorm to the refreshing relief that comes as the first cool drop of rain hits your skin. "Dew Point" (pictured above) was one of our first illustrations to explore this concept and sees Quinn the Fox falling through the sky in to a new mysterious tropical archipelago.

Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond our control, we have had to cancel this collection. True to the "Headwinds" name, we were encumbered at every step of the way; from manufacturers who didn't quality check their own goods to a manufacturer who turned out to be scammers (a story for another day). While Quinn the Fox has always advocated for battling against adversity, unfortunately the headwinds blowing against us this time were too great even for us to overcome.

Nil desperandum (do not despair) has always been our unofficial mantra since the inception of Quinn the Fox and we will pick ourselves up, dusts ourselves off and try again. For now, "Typhoon Days" unfortunately will remain a castle in the sky while we work on other things but we hope you'll be able to see the collection one day. www.quinnthefox.com

www.andyhau.com

#quinn the fox #anime #art #digital art #digital artist #fox #foxes #artists on tumblr #artists of tumblr

[alchemisland]

Old Cat 

Barely midnight unfurling familiar red thread whose frayed end I know

Sleeping lover undercover for it is bitter cold outside but You sitting coiled

Better here inside with heated hearth and heart spare for you

Cats always coy, knowing they are spoiled

Sometimes when I talk I swear you understand

With time recognition, trusting first the fleeting fingertip then the long caress of this hand

Bond older than articulation, wordless but more pleasant by statement made

For pure pleasure play and ever rue the shorting day

Every cat as every person has a way, such have you, and what onesuch! 

Though furtive, cats rarely are seen shy or lacking expression

Yet I called shy feel caged, termed bon vivant

Outside, forge-belch clouds occulting constellations

Inside, a projector-painted star ceiling; no less alive than their stellar antipodes.

Sometimes attunement stands me from consideration, bars patience

Sitting thus riled composing, hair of the arm like sleeping horses

My hand seeming faster than thought rapt by unseen forces

Around me the sleeping on their quests, bubbles of bright protection

By a lantern’s holder blessed, chin to breast the best and worst of us must rest

As if by means of course correction a coarse interruption intersects prosody

Imagined prodigy, my thrustless collared progeny demanding inclusion 

To them prostitute focus and in payment abundant minute trifles.

Unsealed boxes in mind’s attic contents thoroughly rifled, I feel stifled

When I can neither voice my hurt nor joy exert, words curt dim feeling exhume

When costless the peacock-phrase gilds the hearer, silvers the speaking tongue, reddens both bloods, whitens gruesomed satins.

Some innocence reclaimed in rhyme, revirgining. Versions countless vast tracts of unusable trash midden-bound.

Dim rhyme abounds in such quantity that’s criminal, yet my lure to places liminal rebounds to the speaker,

Cannot scribe free my ignored gift yet on I grift, shrift of old soul I chronicle shifts,

Bright my gift from Thoth, to write; pyre ignite with mire-tricky pithy wits or flames sooth

With easily-sticking stanzas,

Stamen wilt with weight and volume of petals; word with weight of metals; let man as Gods meddle.

On sectioned mind’s mist wreathed fringe, where oft recalled falsehood and desired fantasy decide life’s symbols

Vestry of eagles, house of gold’s innermost misericord

Relaxed standards, a ban on standards in favour of worldly rags star emblazoned, alike which Magi hastened toward

Enormous walls girdling garden of pearls, passwords primrose, where pinemartens furl – my ward

Hereout the verse cursed spite adversity singled out for virtuosity smuggle out fine verse

Nursery of verse unguarded, thimble measure of wonder tincture

Place of mind where inward eye alone descries, yet finds dispensation, self-hated and desperate though granddad spoke Nil Desperandum

Dismal, lonely sinecure, self of selves interred like King’s old wife

Though kept head am kept confined, no lease but leash for life

Like Lear I see every sorrow reflect my own, my souring bones

Hidden beneath my light; a mask across the riven face of one crone.

#writeblr #alchemisland #writing #creative writing #alchemy #writers #poetry #poet #poem #words #malkin #grimalkin #cat #pets #old cat #old mog #ignatius #nature worship #animals #reflection #moment #reverie #evocation #occult

[therealsecretmurderer]

Nil desperandum

My place was forever on the scene

Arms swinging and words soaring

But I sadly lost my blue dream..

Those Obscure eyes pierced my heart

Then traced my warped destined path

Are we free? Or indeed Man is confined..

Tied to that thick and long serpent-like rope

He turns around, again and again.. a third last time..

Two last breaths coming out of his mouth.

He flies unbound, finally opens his wings

He looked up to the sky

"It will always be here !" He shouts;

The big lapis canvas invites us finally

To our one true Homeland

Of wine rivers and dripping honey

"Welcome back, my dear." You hear them say;

You're finally in the realm of Poppy and May.

(Mine)

#aesthetic #dark academia #poetry attempt #poem #dead poets society #dark academic aesthetic #books #classic literature #poetry #moodboard #freedom

[gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot]

(Bad, lousy, no good) Renders

I don't know what I'm doing

London fluff (Ghost and Riot)

Super Sergeants - Soap, Gaz, Riot

Zhar and Riot

Sgt. Vega's Urban gear

Bravo 0-7 and Wolf-7

Eyecandy: Price

Eyecandy: Gaz

Eyecandy: Soap

Eyecandy: Ghost

Masquerade ball trope: Ghost x Riot

Eyecandy: König

Soap and Riot on holiday

GAZFEST 2023: Pool

Sgt. Vega at the gym

GAZFEST 2023: Sofasoap's First time

Eyecandy: Nikolai (kind of...)

Zhar and Riot drinking wine

Wolf-7 (Sgt. Vega)

HeadHunters quarters: Riot, Laswell, Cpt. Rico

GAZFEST 2023: Care to join, dove? (sauna Gaz)

The Log Cabin fanart (@rileyslibrary )

Task Force 141 at the bar

Early morning at the MacTavish family farm

Needed a nap - Christine and Johnny

Nikolai and Zhar

Attending a wedding fanart (@rileyslibrary )

Hallway WIP

Eyecandy: Graves

Phoenix Squad's last coffee

Riot and Laswell

Late night munchies

A Heart Full Of Pity Chapter 1: Nikolai and Zhar

A Heart Full Of Pity Chapter 4: Nikolai and Zhar

Powerful women: Kate Laswell

Powerful women: Valeria Garza

Powerful women: Farah Karim

Rock, paper, scissors

Eyecandy: Frank Woods

Eyecandy: Alex Mason

Sergeant Christine 'Riot' Vega, beach scene

Heli nap

Eyecandy: Alejandro Vargas

Beach scene: Lieutenant Simon 'Ghost' Riley and Sergeant Christine 'Riot' Vega

MacTavish family farm's bathroom: Johnny and Christine

Fanart: This or That (@rileyslibrary )

It's the little things part 7

Captain John Price and Dr Heather Price (neé Green)

Nak, Zhar and Riot (go into a bar... ah, no, it's not that)

Kate Laswell and Gabriella Cruz

Soap and Gabi

Eyecandy: Horangi

OC Dressing game ask: One / Two / Three (with small fic)

Request: Nikolai x Mini MacTavish

Request: Frank Woods x F!Reader

PTSD

Zhar and Riot

Laswell and Riot

Soap and Laswell

Soap and Gabi

Two disasters

Three disasters and their long-suffering handler

Yuri

Request: Soap x F!Reader

Farah Karim

Zhar and Riot training

Christine Vega

Halloween 2023 - The Firebird

Halloween 2023 - The Dark Knight

Gaz and Diego (and Stork)

Halloween 2023 - The Highlander

Halloween 2023 - The Buccaneer

Halloween 2023 - The All-Father

Halloween 2023 - The Enchanter

Request: Nick Reyes (Infinite Warfare)

Halloween 2023 - The Nymph

Halloween 2023 - The Charioteer

Halloween 2023 - The Healer

Halloween 2023 - The Warrior

Halloween 2023 - The Gunslinger

Halloween 2023 - The Executioner

Price and Ghost

Angst (GhostxRiot)

141 out and about

Soap and Riot - Nil Desperandum

Full 141 + Laswell + Gabi

Request: Soap and Gabi

Request: Nikolai x Mini MacTavish NSFW

#3d render #cod oc #cod original character #cod mw2 #call of duty original character #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod ghost #ghost mw2 #cod mw ghost #ghost call of duty #ghost cod #ghost riley #ghost simon riley #mw2 ghost #simon ghost riley #price mw2 #captain john price #captain price #cod price #john price #price #gaz mw2 #kyle gaz garrick #gaz cod #soap mw2 #mw2 #call of duty mw2 #soap mactavish #cod gaz

[pazodetrasalba]

No Royal Road

Dear Caroline:

This witty and epigrammatic post of yours brought the mind the celebrated anecdote in which Euclid replied to King Ptolemy I, who was inquiring about an 'easier way' through math that 'There is no royal road to geometry'. I fear the same is truth for ethics: we get different paths -possibly, many of them good- but no direct and unambiguous highway.

Your writing does capture a point of view that is very utilitarian and that I actually find quite wise and engaging: the nil desperandum, the recognition of humanity's frailness, inconstancy and general incapacity to live up to its own high ideals, and yet at the same time the acceptance of this as an anchor and climbing rope to avoid falling off the cliffs of despair. It feels like an eminently pragmatic piece of advice.

It also brought to mind a short and famous poem by Izumi Shikibu, one of the great Medieval Japanese female poets, in which she talks about going from darkness to a deeper darkness, and hopes for literal and symbolic illumination along the way:

暗きより暗き道にぞ入りぬべき遙かに照らせ山の端の月

Kuraki yori Kuraki michi ni zo lrinubeki Haruka ni terase Yama no ha no tsuki

Out of the dark, Into a dark path I now must enter: Shine on me from afar, Moon of the mountain fringe!

Right now you yourself are engaged in the treading of a perilous path, and yet I hope you will not slip and find the light to help you on the road to the virtue, a road I deeply feel you are attuned to whatever falls and distractions you have encountered.

Quote:

Lady Izumi Shikibu corresponds charmingly, but her behaviour is improper indeed. She writes with grace and ease and with a flashing wit. There is fragrance even in her smallest words. Her poems are attractive, but they are only improvisations which drop from her mouth spontaneously. Every one of them has some interesting point, and she is acquainted with ancient literature also, but she is not like a true artist who is filled with the genuine spirit of poetry. Yet I think even she cannot presume to pass judgment on the poems of others.

Murasaki Shikibu, The Diary of Murasaki Shikibu (c. 1010)

#caroline ellison #virtue #darkness

[ist-das-kunst-oder-kann-das-weg]

Motivational postcards I stuck on the wall, these weeks’ motto: nil desperandum. 

Do you have the time to listen to me whine?

I still have the Big Four™ on my plate but tomorrow I hopefully can cross one out even though it’s uncertain whether I will pass my Differential Geometry I & II exam. I haven’t even been this unprepared for my Analysis II & III exam with the same prof. Then he just managed to ask all the right questions. I hope he pulls off something like that tomorrow, too.

The problem is, it’s not going to get better with the following exam next Monday. I have learned even less for these subjects. I haven’t yet looked into the one from last semester and hope its foundations are good (Geometric Group Theory). Also, I did not work through the one from this semester (Coding theory and Cryptography). My plan for that is to do the absolute minimum for Coding and learn GGT really good. Never thought I would have to rely on being good in this subject because I struggled a lot with this subject.

I just have to pass. Even though I have to admit really disliking being really bad, if someone offered me to choose between fail and pass with 4,0 I would definitely pick the 4,0 (a friend of mine was offered the choice between 3,7 and fail, so it has happened...). I fear with the Diffgeo prof one can only fail or get above 2,0 and as I don’t see myself there, well.

Last night, I sent my supervisor the current state of my thesis. When we met last time, she told me to send an update after a week because then she is on holidays for two weeks. I missed that (because of the Bafög issues -.-) and had to do quite much for it and did not want to intrude upon her holidays so I sent it yesterday, but I got an automatic reply saying she’s out of office until the end of August! Now I dearly hope this to be a typing error because, you know, I need some advice on my thesis and she is one of the examinators next Monday. I hope I did not misunderstand her somehow (I am probably overly scared because I have had problems with shit because I did not listen carefully or misunderstand people like that too often.)

Next week, there will be two last ballet classes from the beginners’ intensive. I should probably get her a little something as thank you but I don’t know what people like? It was really cool. I just did not like that when I asked for a mat for some stuff we did lying on our back she told me in front of everyone else I am malnourished and should “stop with whatever [I] am doing”. When we met, I was just out of a shitty relationship where I had practised a looot of emotional eating. Now I am just back to my overall normal. (Even though I guess I have to admit while my weight is probably okay, the thoughts are not (yes yes okay, if the shoe fits, wear it.).) While I appreciate she is looking out for us, she should not have done so in front of the whole class. (Also it had rather the opposite effect, damn.)

Whatever! Now I really must pull one of those J moves! He always starts learning for an exam only one or two days prior and gets a perfect grade. WTF!

#dear diary

[copperbadge]

Huh. Sam, you don’t sound “cold”; you sound restful and sensible. You also sound like you desire a partner who is willing to ASK you what you need, and who will negotiate, set and respect boundaries. That’s not impossible; that’s ADULT. That’s what “working things out” means. Lord Peter Whimsy did indeed eventually find someone exactly like that.

Well -- yes and no. I do think having a partner who is able to ask about wants and needs is important, but feeling secure to vocalize those is important as well, and that's just not something I think I'll ever be super comfortable with, with anyone. It's the mortifying ordeal of being known, in a way, though it's less about being known and more about the unconscious, ongoing assumption that to want anything is to impose on the other person, even when intellectually I know that to be untrue. Whether they ask doesn't really matter, in that sense.

I think Dorothy Sayers understood that intimately. Especially in Busman's Honeymoon, where you get the devastating "execution" scene at the end. Peter has had emotional support in the past, particularly from Bunter who has definitely seen him at his worse, but he also very obviously has never voluntarily leaned on anyone the way he does Harriet. Socially, culturally, he couldn't lean that way on Bunter, except at extremis after the war, and it's strongly implied that his past affairs have been primarily sexual rather than emotionally satisfying. It's one of the peaks of the Harriet-Peter arc, that she can offer care and he can accept it, something neither of them have been comfortable with in the past.

So, you know, nil desperandum, people do find Their Person or People later in life and land on someone where that discomfort ebbs away. But I think it's important to be aware of what one can and can't offer, and sometimes that means being aware of when a relationship would be more frustration than anything else, for both parties involved.