#OPEN / CRACK

[merpancake]

SDV feels like it could so easily become a fairy story.

You move to a little coastal town where you begin recovering a plot of land, some of the locals take a shine to you and you to them. It's nice, homey. Everyone is welcoming except for the established town grumps.

Suddenly you realize you never leave town. Everything you want is obtainable at the little mom'n'pop general store, or from some of the locals themselves. You never go into the city to sell goods because the mayor does it for you- right? You never really see him do it. You just lie down in bed and wake up in the morning. When was the last time you dreamed?

You need new shoes and the adventurers club sells you handmade leather boots that fit perfectly despite never asking for a shoe size. Your clothes sew themselves when you lay a bolt of fabric and a random item onto the sewing machine- you blink and it's done.

The general store sells fertilizers that turn your garden plot into a verdant field. You spend all day harvesting crops with tools that gleam silver, gold, purple. Saplings grow over a month into fully productive fruit trees, your beehives drop jars of honey into your hands.

The blacksmith cracks open geodes full of polished gemstones. There's a man in the woods who says he found you in the mines but you were 80 levels deep. The elevator works but the minecarts don't. You gave a diamond to a local girl and she ate it like a plum.

And suddenly everyone is drinking mayonnaise.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew valley spoilers #stardew valley 1.6 #the mayonnaise delights me not gonna lie #crack open a jar and chug it

[astraltrickster]

ngl I'm not a fan of how the very necessary discussion of how autistic girls (and many poc for that matter, not that we usually remember this) often end up masking hard due to the pressure to "be ladylike" or "not be too angry" and therefore end up being seen as "very polite" and "mature for your age" and so on and so forth is morphing into being less about how social pressures may impact how autism presents and more about saying "so there's Girl Autism and there's Boy Autism and Girl Autism makes you nice and polite and pleasant but Boy Autism makes you gross and annoying and rude and offputting and no it's not ableist at all to say that being overly excitable or trying to get a turn to talk when you don't know when your turn is or struggling with arbitrary rules is rude and annoying because Girl Autism exists uwu"

#disability #actually autistic #serious tag #internet culture #especially because these are FAR from being hard and fast rules #i had Boy Autism despite being raised fully expected to be a girl #and no i do not find it remotely affirming to be called all the horrible things they said i was But In An Affirming Way This Time #knowing more of the different ways that different combinations of autistic traits and social pressures can present #is good for preventing people from slipping through the cracks #we don't need to be breaking open NEW cracks by assigning certain presentations to certain genders

[dandelion-roots]

[ID: a digital comic in two panels featuring bungou stray dogs characters. the first shows atsushi banging open a door and shouting, dazai-san! are you oka- the second shows a shot from the anime where chuuya is holding dazai against a wall by his neck. the text reads, homoerotic atmosphere, and four squares with text point out whats happening. they read, casual hand in pocket, chokehold, knife, and lastly um... followed by two sweat drops pointing at chuuya's knee between dazai's legs. a tiny panel in the corner shows atsushi covering his eyes with his tiger paws and blushing as he says, i'm sorry... end ID]

come here. crack open the canon with me for a minute. consider. what if atsushi hadn't listened to everyone telling him dazai would be fine and left to save him only to witness whatever the fuck was going on in that cellar. consider the bit.

#soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #skk #skk fanart #atsushi nakajima #nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd atsushi #im a liar it wasnt just for the bit i wanted to study that absolutely WACK perspective shot #and the colours!! its like a sauna in that cellar everything's sooo red #the next shot would be chuuya barking at atsushi abt why hes blushing #also yes ik atsushi wouldnt be able to transform only parts of him like that at that juncture but i love baby tiger paws #if were cracking the canon open anyway why not #also learned FINALLY how to make borders around brushes #first gradients now this bsd is rly opening new horizons for me

[spitblaze]

>staff implements a non-optional algorithmic dash

>people find out very quickly the the algorithm isnt very good

>immediately people start gaming the system to make every post the 'rat rat rat' post

>website becomes functionally unusable

>staff takes down algorithmic dash and says it will return

>it never comes back

#spitblaze says things #either that or it'll just. never happen #there already kinda is algorithmic dash but its optional #but if i know staff #it will either be cracked wide open within a day #or just. never happen. ever #doin numbers

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

im a simple guy! i think about puppy Barnaby. i promptly explode into bloody heart-shaped confetti

#just a little guy learning to be tall... hard work #now if yall will excuse me im gonna shove my head into boiling water #that oughta fix me #pls enjoy the additional scribbles of his Attempts #they were too important in my mind not to include #godddddd i love himmmmmmm just a little guyyyyyy #i gotta puzzle out how to draw ms beagle #ive never drawn a chicken! much less a chicken puppet! #wait no sorry that was a fucking lie #i have drawn like. 2 chickens previously In My Life. i think... i could be wrong! #ive never claimed to have a working or reliable memory <3 #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #barnaby b beagle #hes just so small and sweet and immmmmm IMMMMMMM #unwell. simply unwell yes yes #there's no saving me! leave me for the vultures! allow me to live up to my url! #puppy barnaby already makes me feel as though my ribcage has been cracked open #might as well let the scavengers have a Taste. im sure im delicious!

[hootgrowlbears]

I imagine that the heartbreak Lou experienced giving grape jelly bacon egg and cheese sandwiches to the rest of the Intrepid Heroes is the same heartbreak Fabian experienced when he got all the Bad Kids to try kippers for the first time.

#fantasy high #he cracked open his SOUL #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #adventuring party #dimension 20 #d20 #d20 spoilers

[flamingpudding]

Hotel Fenton

Red Hood stared at the building that seemingly appeared out of nowhere in Crime Alley. Below his mask his eye twitched at the very elaborated and very bright shining and blinking sign on the buildings wall spelling out 'HOTEL FENTON' though it looked like the word 'HOTEL' had only been added recently. The building in itself was also strange. Red Hood was pretty sure no one would actually willingly step into a building like that.

"Are you seriously expecting to investigate this shit?" He muttered into the coms, knowing perfectly well that his brothers were watching through the integrated helm camera.

"Yep. You lost the draw." Nightwing sang from the other end of the com line. Red Hood was going to glitter bomb his Appartement later. He grumbled something inaudible once more before taking another step towards that strange building. But froze before he even set his foot completely on the ground.

A scream echoed through the building. His hand instantly went to the gun buy his side. Then a crash. Wide eyed Red Hood watched how a chair came sailing out of one destroyed window. More shouting followed now clearer. Someone was complaining loudly and...

He took a step back from the building as fire sprouted out of the broken window but before he could even tell his siblings to send back up the fire got extinguished by a sudden block of ice growing out of the window. Red Hood blinked, muttering a half hearted "Did you guys see that too..." Into his coms before the slam of the entrance door to the Building caught his attention and he came face to face with a little girl that had obviously slammed the door she was leaning against.

They stared at each other for a moment before the girl dusted herself off and grinned.

"Hi! Welcome to Hotel Fenton the place to stay for Ghosts, Shades, Undead and More! We are a little preoccupied with a some of our current guests but I am sure there is still an open place for a fellow undead and halfa in the making!"

Red Hood's eyes narrowed under his mask but before he could ask anything, a fucking man that had vague similarities to Bruce crashed through the wall cool-aid way with a good damn Talon in his arms that was obviously trying to gnaw on the arm holding it, a second man followed close behind floating and shouting vehemently that "JACK THAT IS NOT PLAY FIGHTING YOU DUMBASS! IT'S TRYING TO MAIM YOU!"

There was only one thought went through Red Hoods head at that moment, his sibling perfectly echoed over the coms.

"What the fuck?"

#dp x dc #dpxdc #crossover #dcxdp #danny fenton #fenton family #jack fenton #ellie phantom #dan phantom #vlad master #Meddie Fenton #jason todd #In which the Fentons plus Vlad fled their home dimension because of the GIW #They fled together with their entire house #and opened a hotel for the undead in the middle of Crime Alley of Gotham #It goes as well as you can Image #The talons are one of their first guests staying over.... #Crack prompt

[greghatecrimes]

exhausted local man bullied ruthlessly by his husband and stepdaughter

#the way he's like 'no one-- *look at me*' cracks me up #and house's very specific wording of 'from this moment on' #thirteen looking over her shoulder to see if wilson's freaked and then looking so pleased with herself when she opens the door LMAO #diagnostics department diabolical schemes im sure #the 'look at me' is the best part in the whole scene LMAO it kills me every time. they are soooo married #6x15 #rewatch lb #james wilson #greg house #hilson #remy thirteen hadley #house md

[kats-kradle]

Polites, even in death: greet the world with open arms :)

Odysseus: thanks! I Will Not.

#epic the musical #it’s cracking me up that polities sings open arms and then two songs later odysseus is like I’m Going To Become A Monster #epic the underworld saga

[ninjautistic]

I don't remember this but HOLY FUCKING SHIIIIIITT LLOYD WAS CONFIRMED TO BE AT LEAST 9 YEARS OLD HERE AND HE WAS ABLE TO DO THAT??? JESUS FUCK

#This might be proof that lloyd is quite jacked #i mean lloyd literally cracked the entire floor split open under ONE fucking FIST #and in dragons rising lloyd literally blocked the empress' sword on her big mech with his tiny ass gold sword #and lloyd also literally lifted and threw kai across the ship in dragons rising too.. #and in the magazine comics (not entirely canon sadly) lloyd threw a big ass enormous fucking vengestone mech in his oni form with his HANDS #ANNNNDDD lloyd can even handle the power of the source dragon in dragons rising.. #ANNNNNDD the original ending for crystallised was gonna be about lloyd lost in his oni form and beating the overlords ass and rule ninjago.. #in which apparently the ninja save him from the power of FRIENDSHIP #lloyd literally fell on piles of glass and wasn't bothered by it #HE WAS 9 AND HE FELL ON PILES OF GLASS WITH NO HESITATION!?!?! #fucking OUCH #and yet wu says lloyd is “the wise one” fuck that shit he should become a GOD #lloyd literally risked to sacrifice his life to the three dragon cores in dragons rising like holy fucking shit I'd marry him #if lloyd was a villain I'd fucking root for him so hard I'd be on my knees they should make it happen PLEASE PLES PLEASEE #sorry i love lloyd hes my wife #ninjago #ninjago fandom #lloyd garmadon #lloyd montgomery garmadon #lloyd garmadon ninjago #ninjago lloyd #lloyd ninjago #ninjago lloyd garmadon

[ascesabo]

the great irony of early one piece antagonists believing zoro was the actual captain and using luffy as a puppet ... oda really threw us a bone and curb-stomped it right in our faces. yes, zoro could be a captain in his own right. yes, zoro could match luffy in strength. yes, zoro knows this perfectly well. and you know what? he chose luffy two years ago, and he will continue to choose luffy again and again. roronoa zoro, the pirate hunter, who followed a wannabe pirate with a nonexistent crew on a whim because luffy brought him his swords and made a half-assed attempt at a bargain. zoro, who made a vow to never lose again on both his and luffy's honor. zoro, who told luffy he'd make him commit harakiri if he got in the way of zoro's goal, only to turn around and be willing to sacrifice his dream if it means that luffy reaches his. zoro, who stood in place and took luffy's pain and told a warlord to take his head instead of luffy's, who got down on his knees before his supposed rival and begged mihawk to mentor him so that he could return strong enough to protect his captain. zoro, who has conqueror's haki- a natural born leader- but chooses to stay at the right hand of a man he has deemed greater than himself.

and the thing that luffy fears most? being alone. being rejected. being left behind. and what should have been his foil- the pirate hunter to his pirate king, the nonbeliever to his divine, the king of hell to his sun god- instead becomes his first and most devout follower; the one who demands to follow him to hell and back. oughhhggg i'm sick to my stomach

#one piece #roronoa zoro #monkey d luffy #zolu #what the hell is wrong with him #the very definition of becoming bewitched body and soul #do you get me #luffy is zoro's helen of troy #in that #he'd launch a thousand ships to put a smile on luffy's face #i need to crack open that mossy green head of his and see what's going on inside #has anyone told oda that he could possibly be cooking one of the greatest love stories the shounen genre has ever seen #one piece is a 26 year long ongoing slowburn #luffy: it's rotten work!!! ^_^ #zoro: yeah i fuckin know but god what does it matter. it's for you #pls dont tag as platonic lmao

[strongermonster]

one of the funniest news things in canada that always tickles me is the ongoing war between magic mushroom shops and the police.

this is the absolute height of humour to me right now

#tw drugs #lovingly cracking open a news paper just for the articles about dispensaries trolling the police #making drugs illegal has literally never ONCE in history worked #decriminalize it so we can stop overpaying useless cops to go on raids #offer SAFE AND CLEAN GOVERNMENT INSPECTED drugs like how we do with weed #stop the street drug deaths. tax them towards healthcare and social services and fucking UBI already #have the harder drugs harder to access along with on site support. no one WANTS to be stuck on meth #but ruining their lives in prison has helped approximately no one #jj stuff

[milflaszlo]

You know what I think? It’s cold, unlovable bitches like us make the world go round. EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE (2022)

#eeaao #everything everywhere all at once #evelyn wang #waymond wang #joy wang #filmedit #love really IS what it's all about that is so wild #also do not talk to me about how waymond is so taken aback by evelyn hugging him #clearly because she hasn't done it in such a long time #and that's what finally cracks him open #it's too much

[flight0fthenavigat0r]

“Who taught you how to build a lightsaber, anyway?”

“Kanan Jarrus.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. He was my Master. Taught me everything I know.”

#my heart cracked open #to have this acknowledgment of kanan means so much #ezra never forgot him #he still keeps his master with him #and now he carries a part of him with him always #star wars #star wars ahsoka #ahsoka series #star wars rebels #ezra bridger #kanan jarrus #ahsoka tano #hera syndulla #sabine wren #garazeb orrelios #rebels chopper #ahsoka spoilers #arah’s musings

[sableeira]

My drops of tears I'll turn to sparks of fire.

or ode to new beginnings

#kind of spiritual successor to the Chuuya burning car artwork #the timeline is probably incredibly wrong since Chuuya was away during dark era but in my heart Dazai leaving Chuuya’s car blowing up #and Chuuya cracking open his bottle of Petrus all happen on the same night #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bungo stray dogs #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #bsd #my art #shoutout to my girlfriend who was the pose reference for this 🥰🫶

[bi-writes]

can't stop thinking about dark!simon with a sunshine!curvy!fem!reader, it's gnawing at my brain. (18+)

greeting him when he comes home in a little apron with dough smeared across your cheeks. you're bouncing in the kitchen, giggling as you wrap your arms around his neck. one burly arm hooks around your waist as he palms one side of your ass, and you kiss his lips over his blood-soaked mask again and again as you coo, "missed you so much, made you chocolate chip..."

you talk and talk and talk and talk. you're always talking. you're always whispering in his ear and chattering as he drives and telling him some story about something he missed while he was gone as you tidy up the flat. you never stop talking, never run out of things to tell him, and despite the monotone voice and the lack of response, he hears every single word that you say, and he forgets nothing. when he makes his way back on base, johnny is waiting, eager to hear an update about the receptionist at your work and if she is actually sleeping with your manager.

you wash his clothes without even blinking. you're at the sink, a bucket of cold, suddy water there as you scrub at his shirt. there's peroxide at the side, and you use a delicate hand as you scrub at the stains on it. ghost watches from the doorway as you hum to yourself, in a little pair of shorts with your hair tied up as you rinse the shirt clean. blood runs down the drain, and his shirt is clean as new.

you always find some kind of weapon around the house. you bend down to brush crumbs off the kitchen chairs, and you scold simon with a glossy pout because he left a bloody knife taped under the table. you whine when you find a grenade sitting in the same drawer you keep your tampons in. you complain when you take out the jar of rice to make dinner, and there's a small handgun hidden between the grains. but your face always softens when he cups your cheeks with two big hands, kissing you warmly, muttering, "gotta keep y'safe, luvvie...know there's a bloody line waitin' for a taste of y'r cunny, baby."

you visit him on base once in light wash denim and a white tshirt, sneakers hitting the linoleum and purse swinging as you wave at him. he's standing in front of a line of privates, watching them do jumping jacks, and his eyes light up a little when he sees you waving at him enthusiastically. when he finally makes it to you, he shoves you into the nearest supply closet and tugs your jeans down just enough to fit his cock between your thighs. when he's walking you out, the boys watch as you cling to simon's arm, a lovesick grin on your sweaty face as you flutter your lashes up at him.

he loves when your manicured hands touch him. scratching along his scalp, tracing the edge of his jaw, cupping the bulge in his pants. you're so sweet, the most giggly girl, and he loves tasting the strawberry of your gloss as you make him cum with your hand, cooing against his lips about how strong he is, how much you love him, how you would do anything for him.

he loves it most when you see him for what he really is. when he comes home battered and bruised, bloody clothes sticking to him, a snarl to his voice and the adrenaline of an op still pumping through his veins. he loves that nothing about him scares you. that even like this, you lean up on your toes and kiss him softly, that you get some of the blood and dirt smudges on the pink of your pajama pants, and you don't care, that he strangled a man with these very hands only hours ago, and you still want him to touch you.

he loves that you love him. that when he feeds his cock into you that night, in nothing but your baby pink lingerie, that you barely need any prep at all from how wet you are. thick thighs spreading apart, sticky slick shining on your skin, cunt nice and ready for him because you have missed him that much. he loves that no matter how ugly he feels, you always find him attractive, that no matter how many people he tells you that he killed tonight, all you do is smile and pucker your lips, and tell him, "it's okay, teddy bear, they deserved it, didn't they?" and yeah, they did, cause it is kill or be killed, and there is no universe where ghost does not fight to get back here, to get back to this pretty pussy, to get back to the bed he shares with you so he can watch those pretty tits bounce every time he fucks his cock into you.

ghost loves his pretty girl. all smiles. all soft, so cute, just perfect. ghost casts a shadow over the room, and you just brighten it right back up. ghost tracks blood into the house, and there you are to cover it all up with citrus and soap.

yeah. always just sunshine and smiles at home.

#i want to elaborate on this so much #just like #responding to every nasty thing he says with a laugh and a smile #calling him pookie when he licks the blood off his knife #squeezing his cheeks after he cracks someone's skull open #kissing his bloody knuckles when he comes home from the pub #yeah yeah yeah yeah #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #ghost call of duty #ghost mwii #ghost x reader #cod #call of duty #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley smut #dark!simon #simon thoughts