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random-mha-thoughts · 4 years

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Jerk (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Fem!Reader

@adainelartz asked: “ I read your oneshots and I think they're great! I wanted to request an angst (sad or hapy end) oneshot where the reader has a fire quirk or something similar, and Shouto and Her had been classmate in elementary or middle school and people used to bully Y/n chan for thinking she could be like endeavor with her being weak or a top hero with a quirk like hers and Shouto just watches every beat ups given to y/n chan and Y/n chan decides to snap in UA and take revenge and targets to hurt Shouto most.”

Genre: Angst to slight fluff

Word count: 3,361

Tags: @yuki-osaki @liviitehe @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog

a/n: I swear this was going to take a shorter amount of time to write and it was going to be a lot shorter as well. But what can I say, I’m a writer; I write, my brain starts working, I write more, the gears turns more, what do I do, say no? No, I keep writing.

This ending isn't the best and it feels kind of rushed, but I also didn't know how else to end it and I wanted to hurry and finish it and I already almost fell asleep sitting up at my keyboard at least twice, so I wrote the first thing that came to my head. I hope I did your request justice, babe~ Thank you again for letting me write it~

Also, if you haven’t seen, I hit 600 followers yesterday! Though I don’t know why you all are here, thank you for being here and sticking through my poor update schedule. I appreciate you all. Enjoy the story~

I hate him.

He's oblivious as I bore holes into the back of his head. Mr. I-Got-In-On-Recommendation just sits there studying like the studious boy he is. Everyone thinks he's so great, but I know he's no better than a bully.

"Are you okay, (Y/n)?" Jirou asks, eyeing me warily as he headphone jacks flit around. "You need to calm down, your food's already dead."

Looking down, there were holes in my salmon from me poking at it. "I'm fine, just thinking of something."

"You must be thinking of killing someone then," Kaminari laughs nervously, scooting an inch away from me. "I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that."

He flinches when I smirk at him. "You probably should be." I'm only joking, but after Bakugou, I'm the next scariest person in 1-A. It doesn't help that my quirk is also dangerous.

But it wasn't always that way, unfortunately. Back in middle school, I could barely light a candle with my fire quirk, flames barely stuttering out a cold, dark red flame before collapsing on itself. I've always been vocal about being a powerful top hero, and my quirk should've matched those ambitions. Instead, I was a weakling. No one believed me or took me seriously. They laughed at me, teased me, scoffed at me, disregarded all my dreams. But I never gave up, I kept my dreams close to me and resolved to work harder.

I tried befriending Todoroki just because I thought he could give me pointers, since he has a Fire quirk also, but he wasn't very open to making friends or talking about that half of his quirk. In fact, he was always cold to everyone, but somehow he was still popular. So popular that some girls in my classes berated me for getting close to him. They were my worst bullies; just because I tried being friendly with their crush, they started teasing me about how weak I was, humiliating me in front of the class, writing nasty messages on my desk, pouring water on me. It even got to the point where they started pulling me out after class and during lunch to beat me up. I would be the punching bag or target of all their quirks.

"This is what a real hero fights like! Not some puny whore like you!"

They'd growl and laugh at me, and I couldn't defend myself. And on a few occasions, I'd see Todoroki standing a distance away as I was battered and bruised.

I didn't care that he didn't know it was because of him that I was being abused. I was angry because he just stood there, watching as those girls beat me up and called me names. I curse his apathy, those cold eyes as he stared right at me, met eyes with me, and chose to walk away as if nothing was happening. Just because his quirk is already strong, he looked down on weak fools like me. What a pompous asshole.

Months before entrance exams, I'd had enough of being a busted-up rag doll. I trained late into the wee hours of morning, pouring over countless online guides for unleashing your quirk. The first time I was able to sustain a bright red flame for more than 30 seconds, I almost cried in victory. The more I trained, the more powerful and hotter my flames became, spanning from red to orange to bright yellow, even white in short bursts. By the time the UA Entrance Exam rolled around, I'd attained incredible control over the temperature and sizes of flames I can make. Getting into UA has been my best achievement since I worked so hard for it.

Imagine how bitter I was when I heard Todoroki got in on recommendations.

I wasn't just bitter, I was pissed. A cold, pompous jerk like him got in just because he's known to have a really powerful quirk and his father is a Pro Hero. He doesn't even have a hero attitude! How can someone who doesn't even help a bully victim be a real hero?

From the first day of starting UA, I vowed to make Shouto Todoroki pay for his mistakes.

"Hey, (Y/n)?" Kirishima places a hand on my shoulder as we walk back to our classroom. "You went to the same junior high as Todoroki, right?"

"Yeah, why?" I try not to visibly bristle at his name.

Shark-Teeth hesitates, trying to word his next question as delicate as possible as his features twist awkwardly. "You two aren't very fond of each other, are you?"

"We just didn't talk," I put it bluntly.

Kiri rubs behind his neck. "I would've thought that, you know, since you two have similar quirks you would've at least-"

"He's not a very..." Friendly, kind, decent- "Talkative person. He didn't really have friends in school." I sit down in my seat and pull out my books, signalling I want to end the conversation.

Thankfully, Kirishima recognizes this, mouthing an "Okay..." before retreating to his own seat for class to begin.

Later that day, we're into duo teams for battle trials. My teammate ends up being Ojiro. At least it's not that jerk. As Bakugou and Midoriya fight it out, we're discussing tactics in the back of the room.

"You're much better at close combat than me," I explain, "So you should go out and take on the other members while I guard the weapon. If you need backup, I'll come out to help you." I already anticipate how Todoroki's going to attack. Being pitted against him is the perfect opportunity for me to get back at him.

When it's our turn, we set up inside the building near the weapon. I tug my gloves over my long sleeves. "Stay behind me. Whatever happens, don't panic," I mutter as I stand near the blond's tail.

Ojiro's confused expression is about to ask me why when the entire building starts rumbling. I activate orange fire out of my hands as the ice starts sweeping inside the room. Typical. At first, the ice is about to trap us, but I expand the size of the flames and sweep them over the entire inside of the room, careful not to burn the weapon.

"How did you know he would do that?" Ojiro asks, obviously impressed by my foresight.

"Instinct. Todoroki's going to come in here thinking he's frozen us to capture the warhead. When he does, I'll distract him while you run out and get the jump on Shoji, okay?"

As I predicted, Todoroki strolls into the room, eyebrows furrowing when he sees the room is completely rid of ice. "What-"

I don't give him chance to react as I blow orange flames directly at him. He puts up an ice barrier in the nick of time, my quirk completely encompassing him in heat. I nod for my teammate to hurry, and follows my orders, slipping through the door and bouncing out a window.

You're mine, jackass. I rush at him through the flames, heart pumping fresh rage through my veins. He raises his arm to shoot ice at me, but I jump up above him, propelling myself with flames from my left hand and shooting from my other one at him once I'm soaring near the back of his head. Landing right behind, I swipe his legs before he can spot me, effective in tripping him to his knee. I kick down, sending him onto his face with a groan. Gotcha.

Unfortunately for me, his right arm finds my ankle, sending numbing ice up my leg. "You can't win that easily," I grit out. I step on his free left wrist, hearing the crack under my foot, and shoot another flame blast at the ice on my leg. Ignoring his grunts of pain, I crouch down and pin his right hand behind his back. "And that's checkmate, Todoroki-san."

"Alright, that's enough, Young (Y/n)!" All Might yells out through the speakers. "The villain team has captured the hero team!"

Smirking, I shove Todoroki aside and walk away without bothering to look at him again. "So much for someone getting into UA on recommendations," I mutter to myself.

Once I'm out of the building, Ojiro raises an eyebrow at me. "Where's Todoroki?"

I simply shrug. "He'll be down in a little, I guess."

Turning back around, the jerk is exiting out of the building, nursing his left wrist against his chest. I face away quickly, just a twinge of guilt invading my mind.

"Hey, (Y/n), I think he's hurt," Ojiro's calm voice points out.

I scowl at him. "It's just his wrist, he'll be fine," I bark, stomping off to the rest of the class. It's not fair that I feel guilty, he deserves it!

"You sure there's no beef between you and Todoroki?" Kirishima asks as he walks next to me at the end of the day.

"Fuck off, Shark-Teeth!" I'm still in a bad mood. It's just his wrist, come on! "One trip to Recovery Girl and he was completely fine, I don't know why everyone's so bent out of shape about it!"

"Because you didn't even help him afterwards. That's kinda not heroic, don't you think?"

I round on him, about to grab his shirt and blast him in the face, instead choosing to clench my fists. "You don't know what 'mean' is! Stay out of this!" I walk away from him without looking back, mumbling to myself. How can he say that about me not being heroic? If he knew what Todoroki did, he would say the same thing.

On my way to the train station, I spot that familiar mop of bicolored hair staring at me with the same neutral gaze I hate. Glancing down, I see his wrist is fine before quickly darting away. Pompous jerk making me feel bad.

After that day, this idiot always had the audacity to stare at me. I always feel his eyes on me, it's so annoying. And he makes it so obvious, he doesn't even look away when I catch him, he just stares at me. It's enough that Kirishima's words got to me, I don't need him confusing me with this staring contest we have going on. If he wants to talk to me, he should do it already.

During the next few training sessions, we began sparring against each other with our quirks. People have slowly been becoming scared of me during these times because of how rough I was.

Once, I got to fight Bakugou. It was really fun going all out against someone who's just as aggressive.

This time, my opponent is the jerk himself. When Aizawa announced the pairs, Kirishima was about to pull me aside, but saw my murderous look and chose he would like to live. Everyone around us found their partners and started their individual training. While the two of us stared at each other from across the mat. I want to smash his emotionless pretty face in, I hate that I don't know what he's thinking!

If he's not gonna make the first move, I will. I rush up to him, igniting the flames in my palms. He's ready for me this time, standing his ground as I bound up and hunkering into a fighting stance. I throw up a hand towards his face once I close in on him, ready to blow his face off.

Todoroki catches my hand by the wrist, bringing his right hand up to trap me in an ice coffin. I slap that hand away and explode out a burst of orange flames, making him let go and stagger a few steps back. He immediately sends a trail of ice down to secure my feet in place, but I respond by directing both my hands downward, propelling myself off the ground and towards him in a giant, sweeping leap.

The familiar weightlessness of being in the air fuels the adrenaline pumping through me. He's my enemy, and I'm taking him down.

As I launch more continuous blasts at him while I soaring towards him, Todoroki coats his arm with ice to block his face. But he's in for a surprise. Moving close enough, I drop kick his arm down before landing a punch straight in his face. My body lands on top of his torso, pinning him to the ground. Winding back to land another punch on him, he suddenly launches his upper body upwards, headbutting me in the nose.

I let out a pained growl, reeling back as I feel the tingling of tears pooling in the corner of my eyes, and Todoroki uses this opportunity to flip us over so he's on top. Placing his hand on my shoulder, I'm instantly plunged into an ice coffin under him. Heaving out an icy breath, he slowly rises to his feet. The puckered skin of his scar already starts swelling into a bruise where I punched him, and forehead cracked from where he headbutt my nose.

The anger boils my blood hot as my flames. He's not winning over me! I'm not letting that happen! With a growling scream, heat floods from my iced palms before I'm broken free from my confines. White and blue flames erupt from my hands, directing them straight up at Todoroki. The ice barrier he puts up to protect himself melts faster than ice cream on a hot day against this new color of my fire. It continuously flares out from me as I stand up, pointing right at him and getting closer. I ball my fist up and throw my fire-coated fists at his forearms, the anger still building inside me. I want him to yield before me already, so he can pay for his sin.

Even after my quirk blinks out, I continue punching at him, blinded by both rage and hot tears. It wasn't until something wrapped around my arms and restrained me suspended slightly off the ground that I finally stop.

"I'm not putting you down until you're cooled down," Aizawa growls, his quirk and capture weapon smothering me.

Everyone was already staring at the scene. Although I scowl, I go limp and show no signs of resistance. When my body finally relaxes, I feel a sharp pain shooting up my hands and forearm. Once I'm free, I inspect my hands, noticing the beginning blisters of burns coating everything from my fingertips to my elbows. Ouch. My fire's never done that before. It's probably those flames I used. The dull pain in my nose starts throbbing.

"Both of you took this training a little too seriously," our teacher glowers at us. "I'll deal your punishment later. Can I trust that you won't kill each other going to see Recovery Girl?"

"Yes sir," we both mutter out.

The walk over there was quiet. I trudged ahead because I didn't want to see his face, but I had to feel his gaze bore into my skull again. After a good scolding from Recovery Girl, we were told to rest for a little while in the office before going back to class. I try to lie back and ignore him, indulging myself in quiet. I was so full of emotion that my flames turned hotter than they have before, but I have to use them sparingly since they can burn my normally fire-resistant skin. I'll have to make some adjustments to my hero costume gloves too.

"Do you have a person vendetta against me or something?"

Even just the sound of his blank voice makes me roll my eyes. "Hm, I wonder what could've given you that crazy idea."

Todoroki rolls up to a sitting position and faces me. Just like mine, his arms are wrapped in bandages. Apparently, because I punched him with my white-blue fire, he has some burns too, though not as severe as my own. He peers at me from one grey eye, the other one covered by a bag of ice he nestles against his new bruise. "I'd like to know why."

I clench my fists weakly against the pain. "I really don't feel like burning this office to a crisp right now, so we shouldn't talk about it."

"I think it's only fair when someone's holding a grudge against another, both parties should be clear on what the grudge entails."

Stupid logical idiot. "Fine." I sit myself up with a little more difficulty and flash him a harsh glare. "When we were in Junior High, you pushed me away when I tried to be friendly with you. I know you remember how weak I was and how much everyone else teased me because I said I want to be a top hero, like your dad. You were cold to me that way, but that's not the only reason I hate you. These girls in our class didn't like that I was getting close to you, so they started teasing me, harassing me, and beat me up." I pivot my entire body towards him as I hiss my next words, "And you watched them without interfering. You let a victim get bullied and you did nothing. Someone who wants to be a hero and save people, and got into this school on a recommendation, can't even be bothered to be a hero to his classmates when they're being bullied." Shaking my head, I add, "You disgust me. You're no hero, you're just an extremely powerful pompous asshole. You make me sick."

Todoroki's entire demeanor changes. Instead of the cold expression he always displays, his eyebrows relax out of their furrowed position. He looks down at his wrapped arms. "I...didn't think at the time. Yes, I saw it happen. Frankly, I was disgusted by you having a similar quirk as my father and wanting to be a hero after him." His left hand clenches. "That power repulses me, which is why I never use it in combat. Watching you go through all that, I rationalized to myself that you were strong enough to take it."

His fist relaxes and he bows his head somberly. "I know it's no excuse for what I did, I apologize for that. I take full responsibility for your hatred."

I'm quiet, kind of stunned. I've sometimes imagined Todoroki apologizing to me, but seeing it happen is somehow surreal. Rubbing the back of my head, I admit, "Well, I have to say that it's partially because of you that I was spurred to start training and become as I am now. So thank you, I guess." And although I really don't want to, I also say, "I'm sorry I broke your wrist in training last week. And burned you today. And almost tried to kill you in general. It was all overboard and I've been a huge jerk about this whole thing."

He offers a nod. "I believe it's safe to say our differences have been settled, then. I hope we can patch things up and become better classmates now that this is all behind us."

Without looking at him, I hold out my fist between our beds. When he takes too long, I roll my eyes. "It's a fist bump, it's what f-friends do."

I sense his eyes dart between my definitely tinted cheeks and my fist, before his fingers daintily close over it. "I'd rather do this, if you don't mind."

Peeking over at him, I open my hand, allowing him to gently clasp my hand between his fingers and his palm. A new sense of warmth washes over me when I look into his eyes. Though his features are as non-emotive as ever, his relaxed, mismatching orbs rest on me in what I can only place as support or respect.

"You're strong, (Y/n), and although my previous unfair actions towards you are what primarily coaxed it out, I know you already were in your mind and heart. I look forward to seeing it as we both progress to becoming heroes together."

His slight softening shifts something within both of us. And that moment told me that our new relationship would evolve into something greater.

#todoroki x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #todoroki angst #todoroki shouto #angst to fluff #female reader #todoroki imagine #todoroki scenario #request #mha todoroki #bnha todoroki #mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction

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hecohansen31 · 4 years

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Rules To Interact With This Blog:

Interacting With My Posts:

If you liked a fic/ask/drabble of mine, I’d suggest that you also let me know through a comment or reblogging it with something written either in the comment section or the tags (I am not saying this for my ego, but it is absolutely proved that the more you’ll interact with my posts, the faster I’ll feel like writing something more of that genre).

If you were tagged in a fic/ask/drabble of mine, you should definitely comment (leaving feedback and simply reblog with something said in the comment part, because let me tell you... reblogging without saying anything is just plain dumb).

Taglists are honestly nightmarish and I understand, not only Tumblr being annoying with not notifying you but also you needing to take your time.

But please do understand that to ignore somebody who took time, at your request, to put you in a taglist is rude.

And I’ll be deleting people on my taglist that don’t interact anymore with my stuff, after three times they ignored it.

If you ask me write you a fic/ask/drabble/ship, you should feel morally obligated to leave at least a ‘thank you’, if not some support/feedback, because I spent time working for something that brought at least a smile to your face, so it’d be nice to leave even the smallest comment, but DO LEAVE IT.

Feedback On My Posts:

It is completely understandable that you might want to give some constructive criticism, but I’ll ask you to know a few things before you do:

I am not a paid writer, I do this as an hobby in my free time, and English is not my first language, so do keep in mind that there might be some mistakes, some I just don’t see because I have neither a paid ‘beta-reader’ or the willingness to proofread perfectly everything I write.

So, do remember to be kind when giving constructive criticism.

And please avoid doing it anonimousl.

It isn’t anything against nonnies, but many times thing that you say may be mistaken as worse than they are, hurting people and also making them angry, so if you noticed something that you don’t think that is proper, do come in my DMs so that we can start a dialogue.

Also do remember that some things are just typical of the author and the fanfic, hence we can’t change them (such as the fic length, our portrayal of the character and our own setting and knowledge...).

So, if you end up not liking the fic/ask/drabble for this reason, I’d suggest that instead of sending us an angry anonymous asks, you just change writer and fic, because those things are linked to your own taste and not ours.

Not every fic is always for you, and maybe mine might not be your cup of tea!

Sending Asks:

From now on I won’t be accepting asks that don’t contain either ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ or both.

This is because one of the thing that has brought my mind not to feel at ease anymore when post is the fact that I constantly get treated like a writing machine and not a person on here, almost as if I am valuable only for hmy writing skills and nothing more.

And as much as I recognize that that is what I am ‘famous’ for on here, I’d like to take a step back and be treated like a person behind a computer from now on.

Which means that I won’t be taking asks unless I feel treated like that.

If you don’t know whether my requests are open or closed, don’t straight up send me a request, but simply ask me whether they are or not.

I’ll try to answer fast enough (I am saying this because it has happened to me that many sent me asks even when they were closed, adding the ‘if the requests are closed, ignore this’ but like... the people pleaser in me... can’t and will write your fics and send myself in overburn... so please avoid).

Also do feel free to either ask me through my inbox or my DMs whether I’d write for something, if you are not sure whether I’d do it or not.

Again don’t straight up send me something like ‘do it only if you are comfortable’ or similar.

Don’t send me random asks, that maybe got refused by other writers and youthen sent to me, without following me, knowing anything about my blog and my writing, because I can see which ones are which... and believe me it is annoying to receive this kind of asks.

Finally... don’t comment on how much time a writer takes on writing out your ask/fic or anything else.

Avoid at all costs comments such as ‘when are you going to...’/’oh I thought you had forgotten about my request’/’can’t you speed up’, because not only you appear extremely pushy but also in most cases I am not simply ignoring your asks, I just have something going on in my own personal life that might stop us from properly replying.

Also on this note, avoid asking for fic updates, again please don’t ask ‘when will this be uploaded?’, as I have said before... it is possible that we aren’t uploading it for own personal problems and receiving a message like this will in most cases (at least with me) make us feel uncomfortable and lazy and push us to write, although we aren’t in the right headset

If we notice that it is taking us quite some time, we’ll let you know, personally, why the fic isn’t getting updated and when it’ll be, please don’t spam us with asks of this kind.

Interacting With Others:

Avoid tagging me in fics/asks/etc, when I haven’t actually told you to.

Please don’t do it, because although in many cases I don’t ask to get tagged for my own personal shyness or because I forget, sometimes I just am not interested in your whole writing and I prefer to only follow what I like.

Also some of your writing might be potentially triggering for me, which is the reason why I’d prefer not to be straight up tagged in a fic, without giving my permission.

I’ll let you know through a warning if you have wrongly tagged me, but if you keep on doing it, I’ll block you.

You can absolutely come to me if you want to have some feedback on your writing, but I’ll ask you to please not waste my time, disregarding completely my suggestions.

You are obviously free to deny my suggestions, because I mean... who’d take suggestions from me, a clown... ? But I’d like you to be straightforward with me, telling me immediately that you don’t think my suggestion would be proper for what you write.

If you don’t like my suggestion, it is completely alright because it is simply a suggestion and I understand, as a writer, not liking them or not feeling them fit for what you wrote.

In the end you are the writer of the piece, not me.

But please don’t tell me ‘oh yeah yeah, thanks’ when I give you the suggestions and then after you pubblish the piece completely ignore my suggestion as if I hadn’t said it.

So please, if you aren’t seriously looking for feedback but validation, don’t waste my time asking me to check your piece.

I’d also prefer if we were mutuals in doing this, because many times I have had to proofread pieces that weren’t mine from people that didn’t even follow me, and completely disregarded all my work, (even worse was the fact that these people were pushy and didn’t seem to accept a ‘no’ although I told them I was very busy at the time).

I do understand being good and everything, but I’d still like to remind you that support goes two ways, so if I helped you, it’d be nice of you to give back that help when it is needed and not only when it is comfortable to you.

I’d also like to discuss about crediting me for using my ideas, imagines and set-ups.

I totally understand that some of my concepts aren’t original, but it has happened to me that many times after talking with somebody about a specific idea or giving them a personal suggestion, they used it without even crediting me or asking for my permission.

So, please if you are going to use one of the ideas I came up with when talking with you or the set-up of my blog and fics, I’d ask you at least give me credit or ask me in my DMs for my permission.

I am always attentive to giving the proper credit when needed and I’d like you to do the same.

I’d also like for you to be honest with me.

An example is the fact that although many people said they’d take part in my writing challenge, not even half of them actually did.

As much as I understand the hardships of life and tumblr, I’d have liked very much these people to come forward and tell me they weren’t interested/had problems, because personally it was very disappointing to work so hard on a thing, get all excited for it and then get ignored.

Again, I do know that life isn’t easy for many of us, butI what I ask for is nothing more than a simple DM/ask clarifying the status of things, in these cases.

Finally: I’ll start supporting only people that support me.

I don’t mean to be rude but as I have already said: support goes two ways.

Again, it is completely understandable for some people to arrive late to reading fics and commenting them, because we are all busy, but I do think that sometimes we make too many excuses for not supporting writers and then act all shocked when they say they are tired and won’t write.

With this being said, I’ll stop bitching.

If you have any ask about the new rules, I am here.

I highly encourage you to follow them to help me feel more at ease on my blog.

If you don’t, you’ll receive a warning and then if it keeps happening I’ll block you.

Have a nice day!

-Heco Hansen.

#personal #rules #from now on I'll be following this #also limiting my interaction on here with other blogs and other people #I hope you'll undersand and be respectful of me and my blog #rant

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deku-verde · 4 years

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Just gonna be a lil’ serious for a sec, not too deep or anything just a small update, feel free to disregard this if you’re not into me like that lol

I’m getting pretty close to 3000 followers, like holy moly! It makes me so happy that there are people who like what I’m doing. Even if you don’t interact with the posts, it still means the world to me that you pushed that follow button

I’m realizing, however, that I don’t share a lot about myself here? I’m generally a pretty guarded person, that’s intentional, and it’s difficult for me to break out of that shell but I really want to try

Baby steps, though! I’m not gonna dive head first into my life story, but I do want to put more of myself on this blog. The easiest way to express myself is through music and art so I’m going to draw BNHA-inspired versions of cover art for some of my favorite albums. Maybe in the tags I’ll mention my favorite track from whatever record it is, who knows, I just think an easy way to get to know someone is through their taste in music

Obviously this isn’t really going to change what I post, I’m still gonna have a lot of ship content because bkdk has complete control over my mind, body, soul, life, first born, etc. This is just a side project I wanna do in my pursuit to be more open with people, and this post is written to explain all of that because the album covers are going to be a little bit different from what I usually put up

#disc jockey max #that's gonna be the tag for it #just to be clear i'm not a real dj

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exhausted-joy · 5 years

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SCARY HOURS [YANDERE!JUNGKOOK] [05]

CHAPTER FIVE.

SYNOPSIS: Jeon Jungkook is a high school delinquent who also happens to be your awful new next door neighbor. Every night at three am, you jolt awake to the bangs and screams that leak through the thin walls of your apartment. Eventually, you can’t stand it anymore and decide to confront your problematic neighbor. But as it turns out, Jeon Jungkook is no ordinary high school student, and the screams are not that of his own.

Want to be the first to know when I update? Add yourself to the tag list!

Tag List: @little-orochi @sinning-on-a-sunday @hobiacorn @sugabased @girlmeetsliv3 @cxprisc @floralsockbabe @superzinefishclod @jooniescupcakes @hobi-acorn @junkyuholic @youcantbesiriusremus @cadet-lea-05 @ggukimari

NOTE: Let me know what you thought! ((: (I loved writing this chapter omg) Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors!

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Jungkook awakes with an awful pain in his stomach.

It’s the kind of stomachache you get when you move around too quickly after you have just eaten yourself full, and it’s incredibly unpleasant in every sense of the word. But, honestly, he’s used it. A handful of painkillers and he’s good to go - he will be able to remain competent throughout the day, for the most part. It’s usually around lunchtime when he crashes and it’s also usually the time where his urges are most content in laying themselves to rest, at least for a little bit.

Jungkook finds himself most at peace when he’s with you. He knows, it’s weird. He can’t seem to figure it out, either. Ever since the incident on the third floor stairwell last week, every couple days you meet him there for whatever reason. He thinks he recalls you saying something about that stupid class president being occupied on certain days or something. He believes it’s a load of crap.

Jungkook supposes that he does congest the way up to the rooftop when he takes his midday snoozes, and you have just given up trying to get past him. He lets you sit with him, fair and square. Now, don’t get him wrong, he actually doesn’t particularly want you around, nor did he ask - he finds you annoying, too happy and, despite it being mostly silent when you are in his presence, you just talk too much. But you insist on sitting on the stairs with him, babbling away endlessly about something he couldn’t care less about.

It’s a simple theory. He doesn’t want to be your friend. He doesn’t care about you. He doesn’t even remotely like you. But it’s the thing inside of him that does. At night, the urges and contortions get so extremely unbearable that he can hardly stand it. He goes crying and wailing in his pillow like a helpless baby whose turned over too far on his back, unable to bear the pressure of it all. And, in a snap, it all goes away when he’s with you.

Jungkook remembers a sensation similar to this, but almost backwards. He felt the pull with his old friends and he now feels it with you. How careless could he get? It’s your fault for confronting him that one dreadful night; if not for that, he could have been living in this new life free of worry, without losing control, without getting too close to people.

He’s fighting down his murderous thoughts because as much as he doesn’t like you, he doesn’t want to hurt you. It’s this conflicted feeling, one he’s never felt before, that is the only thing he simply doesn’t understand.

━━━━━━━━━

TODAY IS the day Jungkook is being released from his isolated prison in Director Shiwoo’s office to another prison, which is filled with other more obnoxious and irritating prisoners. Basically speaking, he’s getting nudged back into the general population as his in-school suspension duration has run its course. And he is not excited in the least.

It’s because Jungkook knows he will have to see you. And the dumb face of that class prez, but mostly you. He doesn’t want to feel confused. He doesn’t like having the thing inside him repressed just to feel it crashing into him tenfold come midnight. He doesn’t get you or why you try so hard to be nice to him, or go out of your way to try and befriend him. It’s stupid. You’re stupid.

Jungkook shuffles down the hallway with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his uniform slacks, slowly making his way towards his class with half-lidded eyes. He would give anything to skip right now - anything to not be stuck in a room with people who probably think he’s some kind of monster. Like he’s off his rockers or belongs in remedial classes or something.

Scoffing at the thought, Jungkook shakes his fringe out of his eyes and exhales deeply, rounding a corner and watching as the classroom comes into view. He’s not nervous, no, he’s just simply not used to being around so many people at once. All his other schools were pretty small, so he didn’t feel overwhelmed with an influx of too much socializing. Since this was an international school, it was bigger - much bigger than what Jungkook was comfortable with.

Reaching the door, the dark haired boy stops in front of it, hand hovering over the knob. He thinks about knocking first, but decides against it. It wouldn’t matter, would it? All mannerisms were thrown out the window when he decided to throw hands with that kid. The door swings open with a creak, drawing the attention of practically every single person in the room, save for the ones who had already dozed off during the lecture.

A woman with cat-eye glasses, the teacher, he assumes, pauses mid-sentence to look over at the newcomer, raising a paper thin eyebrow at the sudden intrusion. Jungkook stares back in disinterest, eyes flickering towards the class who all quickly avoid eye contact at the shift in attention. It takes a second for the woman’s eyes to light up in recognition and a warm smile spreads across her face when they do.

“Ah, you must be Jungkook! Come in, come in,” she ushers him in towards the front of the room, the door slamming shut behind him with a deafening thud. “Class, this is Jeon Jungkook. He will be joining us as of today, and I expect he is treated with the utmost respect and kindness.” Her voice is stern with warning undertones, as if he were a ticking time bomb that could be set off at the slightest prod. Perhaps it was true.

“Your assigned seat is there,” she points to an empty seat beside a painstakingly familiar girl and Jungkook thinks he can hear his stomach dropping to the floor. “[Name]-ah, please raise your hand.”

Upon hearing your name, you force yourself out of your daydream stupor, biting back a yawn as you timidly hold up a hand to make your presence known. You watch with jaded eyes as Jungkook makes his way over his new desk, his features hardened in a way that makes him look, for lack of a better word, scary.

He doesn’t look at you as he sinks down in his chair, carelessly dropping his black backpack on the floor and facing forwards with a steely gaze. You sleepily peer at him, taking note of the way he disregards your whole existence. You aren’t surprised.

“[Name]-ah, I trust that you will take very good care of Jungkook-ah, hm?” The older woman sends you a sharp look and you gulp, quickly nodding with a shaky smile. She then turns around to resume whatever she had been teaching, the occasional squeak of her dry erase markers and click of her too-high heels making you feel sick.

You glance at Jungkook who already looks bored with his cheek resting in the palm of his hand. With clammy hands, you reach into your bag to grab the extra Tupperware of food you had prepared. Your heart is racing at a million miles a second - you think it might explode if you don’t calm yourself down. You just can’t believe you are actually doing this. Seriously, what is up with you and being a good person? Did you get struck over the head with a ‘good spirits’ stick or something?

“Jungkook-ah.” You whisper his name quietly. He doesn’t move.

Making a face, you whisper his name again, this time finally capturing his attention. Jungkook slowly turns his head to look at you and you can’t deny that you are a little bit intimidated at the cold glare he regards you with. Usually he just glared at you without any heat behind it, but this one was different; it was detached and unfamiliar, almost burning with some kind of fire.

“I-I, uh, made you this,” you slide the container of fresh bulgogi and seasoned rice towards him, watching as his expression softens slightly. “I hope you like it.”

It’s not abnormal, but it suddenly kind of feels like Jungkook can’t breathe. There’s a constricting feeling in his throat that cripples his airflow like there’s a vice around his neck, cruelly squeezing tighter and tighter. His hands drop into his lap and they lay there, shaking beneath the desk - he hopes you can’t see it.

His dark eyes glower intensely at the container of food. Jungkook can feel it stirring within, practically purring at your selfless gesture. Why couldn’t you just leave him alone? Shut up, he hisses at it, shut the hell up. It only grows louder and before he can say ‘don’t want it’ like he usually does, he’s already reaching out to accept it, spurring on the purrs that rumble through his chest.

You study the boy in the seat next to you as he seems to be going through an existential crisis. Pushing aside his strange, constipated expressions, you can’t control the grin that splits from ear-to-ear, watching joyously as he shoves the receptacle in his bag. The feeling you get is indescribable; maybe he was finally warming up to you.

As juvenile as it may seem, you really did want to be Jungkook’s friend. Or at least give it a shot. You didn’t know what it was that brought you to up to the third floor stairwell time and time again. There’s a sort of pull, a connection of some sort. Maybe it was how he was always alone that reminded you of yourself in a way. He looked like he needed a friend. Or maybe you were just being delusional. Either way, you were too committed now, so there was no use in backing out.

The rest of the class period consists of you glancing at Jungkook with shy smiles when you think he isn’t looking, and him knocking his knee into yours when you begin to doze off.

At the end of the class period, though, it’s you who has to tap him awake, for he was the one who had fallen asleep.

━━━━━━━━━

“NO WAY, you got assigned cleaning duty with that psycho?!”

You huff in annoyance as Jimin dramatically throws his head back to let out an obnoxiously loud laugh at your misfortune. If he weren’t so handsome, you’d give him another bruise next to the one still slightly visible on his left cheek.

“He’s not a psycho, Jimin-ah. And it’s only temporary. Haneul-ssaemnim said she would even give me extra credit if I let him help out.” You defend yourself, trying to make it seem not as bad as he is making it out to be. Jimin shoots you a look, almost surprised at your willingness to expend Jungkook for the sake of not failing a class.

“You know you can always come to me if you need help,” He leans forward, drawing in close to your face and watching in amusement as you flush red. “I’m pretty good at chemistry.”

You playfully shove him away, shaking your head. “I can tell. Your fanclub won’t stop looking over here.” You jerk your head in the direction of the group of girls that sit across the outside courtyard, creepily staring over at their class prez in timed intervals. Jimin frowns at your comment as he looks back at them, quick to replace it with a charming smile and a small wave.

You watch as the girls erupt into a fit of flustered giggles and googly eyes due to Jimin’s small gestures. A sullen look crosses your face. It’s moments like these that remind you that your new friend could be with literally anyone else right now, but instead chooses to sit with you. He could literally get anything and anyone he desired, yet being your friend was something he apparently wanted, too. In another dimension this could have made a lick of sense but, right now, you weren’t quite understanding.

“Hey, Jimin.”

The brown haired boy turns back around to face you once again, his face settled in question. Letting out a deep breath, you hope you don’t regret asking what you are about to ask.

“Why do you hang around me? I-I mean, not that I’m being ungrateful, I enjoy talking to you and all, but I’m kind of a loser an-“ Jimin cuts you off before you can ramble the both of you into the next century.

Having averted your gaze down to your lap, you see the older boy reach for your hand and you feel the warmth of his much larger one enveloping yours. You reluctantly look up through your lashes, ears hot from the skinship. He was really touchy when he wanted to be, you notice.

“[Name]-ah,” Jimin starts softly. “Let’s go to the arcade after school. I’ll wait for you.”

There’s a mushy, gooey feeling coursing through your chest all of a sudden. Your heartbeat speeds up slightly, the heat in your ears spreading to your cheeks as you look into his innocently slanted eyes. With a large grin, you eagerly accept his offer, watching him return your smile with just as much vigor as he gives your hand a reassuring squeeze.

You don’t need much more of an answer than that.

━━━━━━━━━

THE REST of the day goes by slowly, but eventually.

Before Jungkook knows it, the last dismissal bell rings, officially marking the end of yet another painstakingly boring, exhausting school day. He almost thought it would never end; the day seemed to go by more leisurely when he wasn’t allowed to kick his feet up on Director Shiwoo’s desk and mess around on his phone.

His train of thought is cut short by an angry growl of his stomach, the pangs of hunger gnawing uncomfortably at his gut. Ah, that’s right. He was actually able to nap today due to your absence and as much of a relief as that was, he was unable to emotionally feed off the tranquility you offered when you were around.

When you didn’t hang around him, Jungkook experienced a different kind of peaceful. It was the kind that was too quiet and rather lonesome, if he had to describe it realistically. The silence was annoying but so were you, and he didn’t know why he would ever prefer to be around you than have some actual peace and quiet for once. Shaking his head, he clears his mind of those intrusive thoughts. If only he could rid himself of the monstrous cravings, none of this would even be a problem.

Maybe in another life you two could have actually got along. Become friends, even. Jungkook snorts mockingly at the thought, unable to imagine such a thing. He could be friends with no one - it was his curse to bear until the day he died.

His stomach growls again. Rolling his eyes, he suddenly remembers the container of food you had graciously gave him. Having caught a brief look at it before throwing it into the black hole that is his bag, it was one of Jungkook’s favorites; a simple dish of bulgogi and rice. He hadn’t had a home cooked meal in such a long time that he couldn’t resist allowing himself to indulge just a bit. Besides, who was he to turn a blind eye to free food?

Jungkook halts in the middle of the semi-deserted second floor hallway to reach into his bag and retrieve the desired treat. As he’s digging, he’s stopped short when he hears his name being called from down the hallway.

“Jungkook-ah!”

A knot of dread sinks heavily in his stomach as he slowly looks up, his big brown eyes clashing with your own. You approach with a dustpan in one hand and a large broom in the other, and Jungkook can feel the knot growing larger and larger with each of your steps that close the distance.

“I’m sorry I forgot to tell you earlier, but you’re on cleaning duty with me.” You say as you stop in front of him, a polite smile plastered on your face. Jungkook raises an eyebrow and clicks his tongue in annoyance. Cleaning duty? What is this, child slave labor?

“No.”

He makes a move to leave but a desperate tug on his backpack pulls him back.

“Please!” Comes your plea, your grip on his bag tightening. A moment passes and you clear your throat, appearing slightly embarrassed at the sudden raise in your own voice.

“I, uh, wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with Haneul-ssaemnim..” you trail off, averting your eyes. “It won’t take long, I promise.”

Jungkook sighs, ultimately giving in. He really didn’t want to get into any more trouble than he’s already gotten himself into; not that getting in trouble really mattered to him, but he didn’t want to once again relocate and put more stress on his already sickly mother. He couldn’t be reckless anymore - it would catch up to him sooner or later.

“Fine. Let’s go.” The taller boy snatches the broom from your hand and makes his way down the hallway and back to the classroom. Sliding open the door, he breathes in relief to see its already empty despite the fact that class was dismissed just a few minutes ago. The state of the room, however, summoned another sigh, though for a different reason.

To be frank, the room was a complete mess. Jungkook hadn’t noticed before - having been asleep the whole time he was in class - but the place looked like an absolute pigsty. Crumpled up sheets of loose leaf paper pile beneath the desks, snack wrappers decorate the linoleum tiles in colorful streaks, and discarded pencils and spent pens are strewn idly amongst it all.

You enter the room moments later, your shorter form having a bit of trouble catching up in comparison to his longer strides. Huffing, you set your sights upon the garbage dump that is both of your guys’ classroom. A disgusted look warps your features and Jungkook can’t help but agree with it; it was truly shameful to see.

Wordlessly, the dark haired boy gets to work with you hovering over him closely. He sweeps articles of garbage into one big pile before scooping it into your dustpan, where you then take it to the trashcan nearby to empty it out. It’s rinse and repeat from then on until about only half of the room is fully clean. You both decide to take a break - it’s hard work.

Jungkook props the broom up against one of the desks and leans against it, uncharacteristically out of breath. You peer at him in concern, watching as he runs a hand through his hair to expose a sweaty forehead. His breathing grows heavier and he turns to face the desk completely, planting both of his palms on the surface of it to keep himself steady. You had never taken the tall, lean boy as one to be out of shape, so this was certainly a sight to behold.

Not now, Jungkook pleads, please don’t be like this right now! He can feel those pangs of hunger ruthlessly tearing away in his gut and he knows it’s not because he’s hungry. No, this is the feeling he gets when he wants more than food. He can feel his head begin to swim with lightheadedness, his body tipping to one side but quickly correcting himself in attempt to keep upright.

“Jungkook-ah…? Are you okay?” Your voice sounds so far away. But his dark eyes glance up to see you standing right before him in such crowded proximity, a hand slowly reaching out to touch him.

“Maybe you should sit down.. y-you don’t look so good. Should I get the nurse?” Your hand lands on his shoulder and all the muscles in his body instantaneously tense obscenely. A chord in his brain snaps.

As if possessed, Jungkook violently swipes at your unfamiliar touch, his inhumanely sharp nails raking across the easily broken skin of your wrist.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” He roars, stumbling back from you as if he had just been burned.

You let out a startled squeal at the attack, shock filtering out any other emotion despite the blood that spurts from your newly attained wound. Burning tears well up in your eyes at the sight of the scarlet that runs down your arm and drips from your fingers, the wound pulsing across the length of your wrist. A wave of stinging hits you all at once and you look up at Jungkook with fear. In all the few times he’s snapped at you, this is the first time he’s ever seriously laid a finger on you. And it’s absolutely terrifying.

“Stay the hell away from me. We are not friends and we never will be. Get that through your thick skull, you useless nobody,” The words he spits at you hurt, much more than the cut, as the arrows of heartbreak pierce through your chest. Lip quivering, you take a couple tentative steps towards the door, and the next thing that comes out of his mouth sends you in a full sprint towards it.

“I hate you.”

It only takes a choked sob and the gust of wind from you sprinting past and blowing him back a bit to make him realize what he’s done.

“[Name], wai-“ The slam of the door cuts him off, leaving him in a lonely, jarring silence that slices through him like a knife.

What did he just do? Slamming a fist down on a nearby desk, the plastic cracks beneath the pressure but he’s too angry to care. Jungkook looks down at his shaking hands just in time to see his sharp nails retracting back to their original state. You had looked at him with those eyes.

Scared and helpless and hurt. Usually the gnawing feeling went away when he smelt the sweet waves of fear and emotional pain, but it only seems to have grown tenfold. Jungkook doubles over on top of the desk, gripping the edge in an iron hold as he lets out a guttural groan at the way the pain slams into his abdomen like a brick. Something wasn’t right. It was supposed to help him feel better. Your terrorized expression briefly flashes in his mind and another blow of pain flexes in his gut. Panting, he rests his sweaty forehead against the desk top, mind swarming with muddled confusion as the strings of his heart are twinged taut.

Why, then, was he so unsatisfied?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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#yandere reader #yandere jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts x reader #park jimin x reader #jimin #bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook #yandere bts x reader #yandere

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angelaiswriting · 4 years

Text

THE YEAR OF THE BITCH / THE BITCH PROJECT

This is not a writing update, but a personal update. So let me introduce you to THE BITCH PROJECT!

TL;DR: 2020 is the year I finally change for the better and if you want, you can join me on this journey, too. Feel free to share.

This has been sitting in my drafts for a while now. It’s about time I posted it.

Also, if you don’t mind, I’m tagging a couple of people because this could be an idea others could be interested in, too. But if you’d prefer to not be tagged in my personal posts, just let me know!

Somehow I’m terrified of posting this

2019 has been quite the year in my personal life. I’ve been through many things, many changes, have faced a few challenges. There has been one thing in particular that has affected me quite a bit and only very few people know about this -- and they probably don’t even know all I’d like for them to know about it.

“The Year of the Bitch” is how I decided to call 2020 a couple of months ago because I want to make it my year. I want to make changes to my life and I want to be who I am without fearing what others would think or say, and I want to do the things I truly want to do. I want to learn who I am and I’m dead set on this. 2020 is the start of a new decade and, for once, I want to be true to myself for my own sake.

Someone close to me just came home for a couple of days, so that weekend allowed me to think and reflect about a few things. I’ve always prided myself in being brave and unbothered by what others’ reactions or thoughts could be, but I’ve always been kind of lying to myself, y’know? Sometimes you tell yourself things even though you know the truth is the opposite and you’re just sitting there suffering silently inside while putting on a smile as if nothing was.

AND THIS IS TOXIC.

I’ve spent quite a lot of time in 2019 just thinking. I had just graduated from my BA and was in a sort of ‘hibernation mode’ in January and February because shit had just gone down at home and I wanted to find out who I wanted to be in life -- answer: I don’t know yet, but I’m working on it. Then, I decided to go back to uni, both because I couldn’t find a job and because I just knew I had to continue doing something I love. Uni is stressful, and anybody who goes to school or even works kind of understands what I’m talking about. But between the end of September and the beginning of October (ish, I don’t remember exactly) I almost jokingly came up with this “Year of the Bitch” thing when I saw the picture above (Salem, te se ama 💛) and eventually the joke turned into a “why not?”

A few friends already know about this (and I’ll forever be grateful to them for listening to me rambling about stuff), and @idhrenniel has already joined me on this preparation journey for the actual journey. And now here I am, telling y’all to go out there and be BDE bitches.

I’m mainly doing this for myself because I have this terrible, terrible habit of always putting everyone else before my own person when it comes to priorities, even when it ends up hurting me one way or another. I want to re-learn how to put myself in the first place when needed, and not in some egocentric way. I want to do this for myself because if there’s someone I’ll always have to live with, that’s me. I want to do things for myself, truly adopt the philosophy of the “chissene fotte” -- I don’t give a fuck about what others think. This means that I’ll do things for me despite what others think, I’ll say no when I want and need to say no, and I’ll say yes to get out of my comfort zone. I’ll take paths others disregard because sometimes that’s what we have to do, and I’ll finally ask for help when I need it -- because sometimes the only thing stopping us, is us. And I’ve been stopping myself quite a bit lately, taking on shit I want to have nothing to do with and telling myself ‘no’ because I’m a proud person -- and being proud isn’t always something to be proud of.

So, 2020 is the ME year. The year I become that bitch (because sometimes we just have to be that bitch, am I right?). The year I do things for myself in spite of whatever kind of judgment could come my way. The year I become strong enough to finally stand up for myself when I need to. And the year I stop being a doormat for anybody, even for those I consider or that consider themselves my friends.

I thought this was quite a positive philosophy, so I’m here sharing it. Being A Bitch doesn’t mean being a cunt nor does it mean pushing people under the bus because I aM tHe MoSt ImPoRtAnT pErSoN eVeR. Being A Bitch means becoming mature enough to say enough when it is enough, to say start when it’s time to start, and stop when it’s time to stop. It means becoming a better version of ourselves, NOT the best version because too much stress is detrimental and striving for the best doesn’t always work for everybody. I know, I’ve been through it, and I’m still not even the better version of myself.

So, if you’re down with making yourselves justice for once or if you’re just looking for the chance or a sign to embark on a self-improving journey, we can do this together and have each other’s back. We can learn together how to be better and set priorities and make the Year of the Bitch a lifestyle we’ll still follow one day. I know for a fact that That Bitch is who I want to be so that when I’m old and dying, I’ll be thinking back about my life and I will be proud of who I was and the things -- major or minor they might be -- I accomplished. And I won’t regret a thing because every little thing leads us to where we need to be.

We could do this alone, but doing things together as a team can be better sometimes. Let me know what you think of this idea.

Angela x

@sweetvengeancee @flowers-in-your-hayr @kellydixon01 @kind-wolf @thethyri @themazeskies @idhrenniel @vvigilantes

#angelaiswriting #personal #personal update #the year of the bitch #the bitch project

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kumoriyami-xiuzhen · 5 years

Text

Hakuoki Short Story: Saito-san’s Days of Practice

First translation posts of the month (1 of 2 for translations +1 update [that one will not be tagged with hakuoki]), so please support me if you can either on ko-fi (https://ko-fi.com/V7V2W0HO) or through paypal (paypal.me/KumoriYami )…. also let me know if you have any hakuoki drama cds that you’d be willing to share that are on my looking for list since i don’t have the audio for those…..

In regards to this translation, I honestly don’t know where this short story came from, but I’ve assumed that it showed up in one of the Dengeki or B-log magazines as they, in the past, have had other various Hakuoki short stories in them....I think? If anyone has information in regards to this, I’d appreciate it to put that down here....

Aside from Saito’s story, I’ve only been able to find Chinese translations for Souji and Heisuke for these (don’t have a timeline on those right now, cuz holy shit these feel extreeeemely long. seriously!).... and have no intention of looking for the others at the moment (i gave up after more than an hour). If anyone does happen to find the others in Chinese... feel free to send them my way since I will add those to my list of torturous translations (i don’t wanna update my lookout list rn + plus I don’t want to add these to that list without knowing where these come from).

Anyway, this story is told from Chizuru’s point of view, also the image is not mine.

Enjoy~<3

Hakuoki Short Story - Saito-san’s Days of Practice

Translation by KumoriYami

The silence of the temple was disturbed by the sound of Saito-san slicing the air with a wooden sword. He repeated his movements smoothly, from top to bottom, [then] from left to right.

During this quiet morning, after hearing the sound of sword practice in the temple as I was heading to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, I couldn't help but stop.

"Ah......Saito-san?"

“Yukimura, today you woke up early? Are you going to prepare breakfast?”

"Yes, Saito-san, you are also up early."

Before my arrival, Saito-san had been practising for a while, [and] his cheeks were sweaty. I handed him the handkerchief I had with me to him, tilting my head as I asked:

“Why are you practising so early? What's the matter? [alt: Is there anything going on/something wrong?]”

“Yes, I was thinking about something.”

“Thinking about something?”

“A few days ago, vice-commander asked me to train some of the new recruits..... but I don't know what training arrangements should be made.

Saito-san frowned slightly and continued to speak.

From his words, it sounded as if the new warriors who joined [the Shinsengumi] had good swordsmanship.

“Sword skills can be ordinarily improved through normal training, but mental capabilities are different to improve, [and/but I] don't know of any good methods to improve them.”

"A good method...."

Early morning birds chirping echoed in my ears, I looked over the Nishi Honwanji temple courtyard together with Saito-san thinking of his concerns.

After thinking for a moment, I clasped my hands together and spoke: "Ah, I have heard that the monks of Nishi Honwanji usually sit in meditation to improve their minds.

"Indeed, meditation can really improve/hone a person's mind. However, merely siting in meditation does not seem adequate, and something else must be done."

------------

Regardless of if it's plants [says trees] or animals, all living things will hide themselves until spring as it was winter

The wind blowing off the river wasn't just cold, but painful. Just breathing made my throat feel frozen.

——Even so, today Saito-san was only wearing a single strip of cloth [fundoshi... probably?], tightly holding his arm(s) [probably: tightly crossing his arms], quietly looking down towards the torrential waterfall before us.

"Sai-saito-san, you truly want to sit underneath that waterfall?

Yes, since ancient times to the present, when it comes to mediation, it's best to use a waterfall.

"But, the weather is so cold, you might die accidentally...."

If there is no risk to one's life, then it will not be training.

Saito-san nodded seriously, then went towards the cold river. The moment his toe touched the water, Saito-san shook violently. I was absolutely not imagining it.

Saito-san continued his movements, obviously stiffly because of the cold.

I worriedly called out to him:

"Saito-san, d-don't do this....."

"It's okay, do not worry."

"But......"

"Do not worry."

Saito-san whispered to himself, then showed no hesitation as he put one foot into the water.

He used his frozen legs to wade through the river and after, moved underneath the waterfall without hesitation.

"If, if only one's mind [thinks it] is cold, [then] even fire can be [thought of as] cold...... [the tl i saw had the word “cold” in place of where I put in “fire”, and the 2nd 'cold’ that I wrote as “fire/hot,” so I switched these around]

Saito-san endured waterfall falling down on his head, softly/gently [slowly] closing his eyes.

「……」

“No, no [don't do this] Saito-san! Now that you've meditated, hurry up and get out, or you really will catch a cold."

「……」

"......Saito-san?"

「……」

"Saito-san? Saito-san——" ------------

"Therefore/as a result/so, in order to improve one's willpower/mind, not only meditation, but also doing that beneath a waterfall [will help]?

"That....the last part is too dangerous..."

"It was only because the water was so cool and comfortable, that I almost fell asleep.”

Almost froze to death—— though that could not be said, I was once again made aware of the present.

"Now that it is no longer winter, it is now longer possible to ind a cold waterfall."

"Yes. other methods to practice need to be thought of."

What other ways were there? We fell into deep contemplation again.

The time, the first who thought [of something] was Saito-san.

"It would better to go into the mountains to live in seclusion, this is also [a] basic [form of] training."

------------

Through the roof made/built of tree leaves and branches, the familiar sunlight, only the sound of birds from the quiet mountain roads/paths, shrouded [the area] with a tranquil/quiet atmosphere.

[Alt (since my ^ tl for this was more literal): The sunlight passing through the roof made of tree leaves and branches and the sound of birds chirping on the mountain paths created a tranquil atmosphere.][also im guessing they built a shelter?]

[We have] Been living in seclusion in the mountains for [a few] days [now].

Saito-san and I were living(/surviving) in the mountains by picking wild vegetables, and fishing to eat.

"......[I] Really didn't think/expect that it would be so quiet."

"Yes..... Saito-san, is this also a form of practise/training?

"In a sense, there is no type of training stricter/more rigourous than this, than/with just the two of us living secluded in the mountains."

"Eh?"

I couldn't help but make a sound as I looked at Saito-san, however I didn't understand why he looked away.

Then while not looking at me, whispered.

"I mean, there is nothing here, I don't know if you're bored being together with me......"

"There is no such problem, I like being together with Saito-san."

"Is, is that so? That's good... Well, actually, me being together with you also...." [alt: being together with you, I also...]

Just now [he] said——

Saito-san's voice was muffled by another noise, [one] that suddenly [started] coming from the rustling of the nearby bushes.

The sounds coming from the bushes got louder and louder, until finally, it turned into the low roar of a wild beast.

I immediately assumed a defensive position, [and] at this moment, I saw a giant beast with sharp claws appear.

"Sai-saito-san, there's a bear! Quick, run away/get out of here!"

I hurriedly pulled at Saito-san's sleeves, trying to pull him so that we could escape together, but I don't know why he wanted to continue what he was saying to me, and did not move.

「……」

It absolutely wasn't because of fear that he refused to budge. Because he was glaring straight at the bear with a terrible look.

"Yukimura, retreat."

"Are-are you going to fight it? You might not be a bear's opponent...."

"Encountering these type of circumstances should be avoided, [alt?: Coming across /having such an opportunity is rare,/This situation was supposed to be a retreat/ I was supposed to be getting away from these types of situations,] but I am suddenly, no, I am very angry."

[^ if you can’t tell, i had looots of difficulties with the first half of this, lol. so I just put down all my interpretations... though I'd assume it's probably more along the lines of: Having such an opportunity (with you) is rare, so I am suddenly...]

Saito-san looked straight at the bear with a sharp gaze and put his left hand on his katana's hilt, emitting killing intent/a murderous aura, as if the bear was a punching bag.

"Living in seclusion in the wilderness requires fighting a bear——Prepare to die, bear." [may say: To live (in seclusion) in the mountain wilderness is to fight a bear/means fighting a bear]

------------

".....Well, we can discuss about how else to hone/improve one's mind/willpower. Will it/should it need to involve fighting bears?

Ordinary humans should not be able to defeat bears, but Saito-san is not without the possibility of winning. With these types of thoughts, I lowered my head.

"Disregarding minor details, we cannot be away from headquarters for long, [and] living in seclusion in the mountains is not realistic.”

"Yes, to hone your mind/will, you shouldn't need to go living in seclusion in the mountains."

Once again, our thoughts were disrupted, [and] we sighed, together looking towards the sky again.

"[This is] Really difficult. Is there an effective training method that doesn't require [a lot of] time?"

Thinking about this general idea, I thought:

"Nn.....what about fasting? A few days ago, Heisuke-kun, Harada-san, [and] Nagakura-san didn't eat anything for the entire day, [and were] so hungry that they cried."

"Fasting? This sounds worthwhile, though I do not know its effectiveness."

After hearing this, I suddenly remembered, this talk about eating——

"Ah, that's right! I need to go make breakfast!"

“Sorry, I have kept you for so long. What is for breakfast today?"

"Turnip soup, [and] Kyoto-styled cooked vegetables [lit: Kyoto cooked vegetables]. Although it's yesterday's leftovers, the taste is very rich and is very delicious."

Ghrgh....

Saito-san responded to what I said with his stomach, which sounded like the stomach of a hungry animal.

"........It appears that my training is insufficient, [and that] I must correct what I said as fasting appears to be an effective form of practice/training."

Saito-san turned his head and blushed because of his stomach's gurgling.

I responded with a smile and looked away.

"Breakfast will be ready soon, please wait a moment."

"Today I'll help you cook, as thanks to you for speaking with me."

"Ah......okay, I'll be troubling you Saito-san!"

Saito-san spoke as he quickly walked forward, and I hurried to catch up.

the end

--------

The title of this might actually be Day of Practice instead of plural days... but I left it at days since I think it made more sense.... Unfortunately, identifying if something is either singular or plural in Chinese isn’t the easiest thing to do unless there’s more context.... and titles certainly lack that. Nouns without context... it’s like they’re all like the word ‘moose’ (only English comparison I can think of off the top of my head atm...). It’s both singular and plural and without further information, it’s impossible to figure out if one moose is being talked about or multiple moose....

^I only wrote this blurb cuz i spent a good 5 min pondering about what the title should be lol. Using day sounds better, and I’m kinda particular about how the way things both look and sound, but days did make more sense.....

^^i’m kinda feeling random rn... and i’ve probably had too much sugar just now. tired too. also i don’t have a habit of writing translation notes like this nor do i really intend to do so notes like this again in the future... though perhaps again when im felt like i’ve had too much sugar? lol w/e...

>_<

nother post will be up shortly. tsukikage countdown.

#Hakuoki #Hakuouki #Saito Hajime #Hakuoki Other Translation #Hakuoki Short Story Translation #Yukimura Chizuru

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writingismyhappytime · 5 years

Text

Draco Malfoy and the Disaster of a Year

Draco Malfoy X Reader

Warnings: Language, magic

A/N: So, I’ve read the books and watched the movies, and I know I’m kind of mixing them both together, so just forgive me! Hopefully it’s still a good read! Let me know if you want to be tagged for more updates, or if you want to be taken off the list!

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6) Aesthetic

You dislike this woman very, very much.

Not only is she completely incompetent as a teacher, she is vile, disgusting, rude, and cruel! You can't imagine why the ministry would assign her as your professor in a course that she isn't even intending to teach, she just wants you to read about spells, not perform them! How exactly are you supposed to learn anything from that?

Not to mention she seems to have a special hatred for Harry, who honestly has done nothing to deserve it. You wish he'd stop patronizing her and getting detention, you've heard of how horrid it is. Something about a pen that actually writes into your skin or something, she shouldn't be allowed to do such things! Why does Dumbledore not step up?

You're so... frustrated! Snape seems to be the only teacher not bothered or intimidated by Umbridge, he doesn't seem to care about her at all and has no patience for her sickly sweet attitude and her constant need to wear that awful color of pink you previously liked until her. She's just so fake, or maybe it's the fact she's not sincere, that makes you detest her more.

"High Inquisitor of Hogwarts, ridiculous!" You hear someone scoff, and you glance over from where you're standing in one of the many hallways. You'd paused on your walk to the courtyard to talk to Nearly Headless Nick, who has no promptly floated through the wall to another chamber, leaving you alone. "Who does she think she is!? Dumbledore needs to put an end to this nonsense!"

Well, that's Hermione Granger, you recognize her angry voice easily enough. She shouldn't say things like that out loud, not when there are so many ears that report back to the evil woman. You hesitate, wondering if you can make it down the hallway fast enough so that you don't run into anyone, and you hastily start towards the end.

"I mean, she shouldn't be doing this! She shouldn't be allowed," Hermione continues furiously, her voice echoing against the stone walls.

"Shh, keep your voice down!" someone says hastily, and you cringe slightly as you realize they're about to turn the corner and you haven't made your great escape just yet. You sigh as you hear their footsteps, glancing over your shoulder to see them turning the corner. Hermione quiets as she notices they're not alone, and you start to turn the corner ---.

"Oof!" You run smack into someone, nearly dropping all of your things, your quill and a book clattering to the ground. You mutter an apology without looking as you kneel, hastily gathering your school things.

"Well, I see there's not a student around here paying attention today."

Uh oh.

You hesitate before you look up, noticing the pink skirt before you see the frog-like face of the very teacher everyone seems to hate. You frown as you straighten, propping your things in your arms; she's a short lady, with curly brown hair, and very pale, which the constant wearing of pink does nothing to help.

"Sorry about that," you apologize again, twisting the end of your braid nervously. Your eyes flick behind her, and of course you're not surprised to see Draco on her heels, silver eyes gleaming with no doubt some mischief.

This year hasn't been that great, and although he's a Prefect, it's already gone to his head; you're not sure why he's siding with this awful toad of a witch, other than she seems to hate Harry and he's a pure blood, not that she can talk, you've heard one of her parents was a muggle anyhow. You keep quiet in class, try to keep your distance from her, you don't really want her attention.

Now you understand why your mother has been so inquisitive in her letters about how your year is going, she wants to know all about Umbridge, and really she's not been so subtle about it. You wonder what she knows about the woman that she can't tell you in writing, as you don't doubt every letter that is sent to or from Hogwarts is read before the student ever sees it.

"Really, such disregard," Umbridge sniffs, beady eyes thoughtful. "It's a trend among your class I've noticed, not paying attention."

You narrow your eyes at her; does she really want you to respond to that? You severely dislike this woman, and you dare her to even mention detention at you.

Just wait until your mother hears about this.

Oh no, did you just sound like Draco?

You did, didn't you?

"Uh, Ms. Umbridge, I'm sure it was just an accident." Draco comes to your rescue immediately, taking a step until he's at your side in one smooth movement. His hand comes to rest on your shoulder supportively, and you cast a narrowed look at him. "(Y/N) is usually very careful about where she's going. Gets her attention to detail from her father, Nicolas (Y/L/N)."

Oh, you see what he did there, throwing around your parents name.

Umbridge recognizes it immediately, and your face sours. Really? You're getting a free pass because of who your parents are? If you were anyone else she would send you to detention, just to make a point.

"Oh, the inventor." Umbridge hums thoughtfully, her eyes dissecting you from head to toe. "His wife is friends with your mother, Draco, correct?"

"Yes, very good friends." Draco's hand tightens slightly on your shoulder, but he's giving her a pleasant smirk. "I think her mother just had a party, didn't she, (Y/N)? Didn't the minister attend?"

"I suppose." You don't know, you don't care. You're just irritated at this point that he feels the need to keep rubbing your social status in her face. Well, it's sort of pleasing of course that she now know's that if she messes with you there could be consequences, but you just don't think it's fair!

You hate this woman, you really do. You want nothing more than to glare at her and tell her exactly how little you think of her, but you wouldn't do that to a professor --- although technically she isn't one.

Harry's right, you can't learn Defense Against the Dark Arts if you're not even going to practice the magic.

"Well, I suppose we all do have our moments where we aren't paying attention," Umbridge clasps her hands, giving you that grimace of a smile. "Just do be careful in the future, Miss (Y/L/N)."

"Of course." You say, but your tone belies how little you mean it. You know she catches it, but pretends otherwise as she sails down the hallway, ignoring you. You watch her go, and at least have the sense to wait until she's disappeared before you turn on the blonde haired boy at your side.

"You didn't have to do that."

"Did you want detention instead?" Draco frowns down at you as you square off with him, looking annoyed. He just came to your rescue! Shouldn't you be grateful towards him? You should have already introduced yourself to Umbridge anyhow, that way she could know of your standing! You could even be on the Inquisitorial Squad.

"I don't think someone should get detention for accidentally bumping into another person." You retort, brushing your hair behind your ear. "That woman is not fit to be a teacher."

"Shh! Don't say that so loudly," Draco scowls, nervously glancing over your shoulder down the hallway. He wants to keep you out of trouble and on Umbridge's good side, otherwise your family name won't be enough to keep you safe. He definitely doesn't want you in detention, not that Snape would allow it anyhow, considering the circumstances --- you're a pureblood Slytherin with very influential parents, and right now the Malfoy's are really pulling for power with their connections considering their house guests.

His stomach tightens as he thinks about it. It's not often that he doesn't want to go home, but he's suddenly glad his mother sent him away. He always thought being a Death Eater was cool, that they were standing up for the fact that purebloods should be the reigning class, that muggles should be aware that they're not the top.

But now everything is changing and he's not sure how he feels.

"Why not?" You huff, but you do soften your tone. "She shouldn't be allowed to bully everyone just because she's from the ministry! She is a vile, horrible woman who Dumbledore should get rid of before she does permanent damage to this school!"

"You know why she's here!" Draco snaps, annoyed at your obvious disdain; again, he just came to your rescue here, you could be a little more appreciative! Hold his hand, kiss his cheek, offer your eternal love, something. "Dumblemore was too incompetent to find someone for the position, and it's not like his last few have been good choices ---."

"Oh, please. Everyone knows the ministry made him," you roll your eyes, shifting your books as they start to grow heavy. "Fudge just wants someone here to spy."

"(Y/N) ---."

"No, don't start with me! I can't believe you're siding with someone like her, Draco! I thought you were better than that! You're just on her side because she's letting you have free reign to be a a real git whenever you want!"

Draco has never been so offended in his life. He tenses, his hands curling tightly at his sides; wow, you're really going for the gold in insulting him today, aren't you? You've had such a temper with him this year, it's like as soon as you stepped foot on school grounds things changed.

Well, everything has changed.

The ministry has never been so involved in schooling before, sending one of their own representatives in, and then there's the whispers, the worries about the Dark Lord's return. Draco knows more than anyone how true it is, but he would never say anything to you about it, he would never burden you with that sort of knowledge --- you of all people should stay oblivious, live in a bubble where you're untouchable.

"Don't be ridiculous," Draco scoffs, gray eyes growing dark. "I'm a Prefect, I ---."

"You've let the power go straight to your head, just as I thought you would."

Well that's harsh.

"What is your problem this year, (Y/N)? Everything was fine over the summer, and on the train, but as soon as we get here ---."

"Look at all that's happening! That awful woman is overstepping her authority, and no one is doing anything to stop it? You're just letting it happen! Of all times, this is exactly when you should be wanting your father to hear about this, don't you think?" You just don't understand, doesn't he want to use his status for good? What's the point of being important if you're just going to be cruel and not offer to help make anything better?

You hate being so helpless, and you don't feel like you're learning anything at all! What's the point of being at this school?

You're so mad at Draco for being selfish, and you're mad at Dumbledore for not stepping up! Draco can be such a better person than what he strives to be, he really can, he doesn't have to be as prejudiced as his father.

"You can do so much better than this," you finally say when Draco doesn't answer, growing even more upset. "You're a much better person."

You could probably have punched him and he wouldn't have been so hurt. You shake your head as you start to dart around him, clenching your books tightly to your chest. Everything is just so wrong this year! You hate it!

"(Y/N), wait ---," Draco's chest feels so tight, his heart is hammering so hard it feels like it's going to explode from his chest! He doesn't want you so upset at him, but you don't understand everything that's going on, and he doesn't want you too! The less you know, the safer you are!

He grabs your arm, pulling you back before you storm away from him.

"Draco, let go!"

"Just listen to me for a moment, would you?" he demands, refusing to let you pull away from him. You hesitate, letting him pull you so close you could almost count each eyelash, his gaze riveted on yours. He looks so serious. "You don't understand everything that's going on."

"Don't I? I see you taking advantage of the situation."

He sighs, growing frustrated; you're so bull headed sometimes! "That's your problem! You see only what's right in front of you, but not the big picture!"

You bristle slightly, glaring up at him; how many times have you been so close before? The scent of him is so familiar, and honestly still a little comforting. He looks so handsome in green and silver, the colors compliment his pale face and blonde hair.

If only his personality was as good as his looks.

"Like you can talk!" You hiss, refusing to budge an inch. "All you care about is yourself and the next person you can lord your pureblood status over! Just like you did with Umbridge, using my family name like I should be treated any different!"

"You had better appreciate the fact I did! Why are you so ungrateful I just saved you from detention?"

"I don't need you saving me!"

"Well clearly you do!"

You both glare at each other, and oh you want nothing more than to hit him with your book! He can be so, so --- ugh!

"You're impossible!" You hiss, finally wrenching away from him; you don't like standing so close, it brings other memories to the surface you don't want to revisit. "You always act like you're entitled to everything, like you deserve respect when you've done nothing to earn it! Grow up, Draco!"

"You're the one who needs the reality check!" he snaps, scowling. "You have no idea what's going on, do you? In the world? With the ministry? You think sticking your head in the sand and ignoring it will make it go away, but it won't! The problems are still here!"

You send him a furious look, despite you know he's right. You do tend to ignore everything if you can, expecting it to blow over so you don't have to worry about it. Your parents tend to take care of everything, but you have noticed their whispers, you know something is going on, just not what. They don't want you to worry, and it's not like Draco ever feels the need to tell you anything either.

You just... don't want to know.

You want to go to school, learn your courses, pass them, and move on with your life. You don't want to think about the fact everything is suddenly so serious now, that it's all changing and might not ever be the same again.

You hate this year.

You turn on your heel, storming away from Draco before he manages to yell anything else true at you.

~~~~~~

"Sorry I'm late," you apologize to Fred as you come to sit beside him in the courtyard, sighing. It's been such a rough day, from classes to dealing with your peers, and you're so glad it's finally over.

Yesterday, arguing with Draco, it made you feel awful. You hate to be mean to him, and you hate it when he tells you things that might be right, especially. You've ignored him blatantly since then.

"It's allright," Fred shrugs his shoulders, relaxing back on the bench with you. You're sitting hip to hip, Umbridge rarely goes outside to enforce her rule about students staying so much of a distance with each other. None of the other teachers care otherwise. "Figured you were busy."

You glance at him, seeing the distant look on his face. You've noticed he's been disappearing a lot, although you're not sure where. Well, actually, there's been a lot of students doing that, if you're being honest, but you've kept your nose out of their business.

But now with Draco saying all that...

"Have you had a good day?" You ask lightly, enjoying the brief bits of sun peaking through the clouds.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?" You hesitate, and now you can definitely hear the tone. "What's happened?"

"Oh, you know, just... everything this year. Ran into a 2nd year that had detention because of that ---."

"Come now, brother, don't get testy." George suddenly flops down on your other side, sandwiching you between the two twins. You scoot as much as you can to make room for him, feeling Fred's arm slip around your shoulder; you like his casual gestures, you find it sweet. You know the summer was a rough go for the two of you, considering that you didn't really get to write much --- or, well, Fred didn't write much, but of course you don't know what was going on in his life.

It must just be so busy with having such a large family.

Still, what has it been now? Almost a year? A little more?

You've sort of lost track, but it's just so easy with Fred, and he's always making you laugh. You find him incredibly sweet and his pranks are always keeping everyone on their toes. It's especially nice during a time like this, with such a vile, terrible, disgusting woman walking around.

"Oi, didn't I hear you almost got yourself detention yesterday?" George suddenly asks, and you blink as you look over at him. How did he know about that?

"You almost did?" Fred sounds surprised, and you hesitate, glancing back and forth between matching faces. Well this is almost intimidating, having them both look at you like this.

"I, uh, accidentally walked into her. Quite literally. As I was going around a corner," you shrug, absently leaning into Fred's side. "How do you know about that?"

You didn't tell Fred, you didn't think it was important.

"Ron and Hermione heard you talking to her, is all. And Draco."

Fred stiffens beside you, and you hesitate, feeling the red starting to crawl up your cheeks.

"Well, he was with her, of course." You shrug it off, peeved; are those two gossiping? What exactly did they hear in your conversation? Did they see you and Draco so close? Is that why Fred is all tense, his arm slipping away from your shoulder?

"Why didn't you mention that?" Fred asks, shifting as so he can look at you better.

"Well, I didn't think it was important."

"But you could have got detention, (Y/N). That's serious."

You shake your head. "It's fine, it doesn't matter since I didn't."

"Yeah, but why not? I heard someone sneezed in her vicinity the other day and she gave them detention." George rubs the back of his neck, looking tired; as a matter of fact, they both do. "I thought you bewitched her or something, was looking for pointers."

You almost roll your eyes. "No, I did no such thing. Just apologized, it was an accident after all."

"Umbridge takes apologies? I wouldn't apologize to her if I stepped on her foot three times." George sniffs, and you notice he's rubbing his hand. "She's a rotten one, that one."

Well, you don't disagree.

"Everyone's too afraid to stand up to her 'cept Harry, poor bloke. He's always getting the brunt of it. Did you see the scar on his hand?" George shakes his ginger head, scowling; you've never seen the twins look so serious before, so angry. You glance between them worriedly, seeing both of their faces dark.

Well, this is... different.

"She's such an awful woman," you mutter thoughtlessly, reaching down for your bag. "They need to do something about her, especially Dumbledore. Does anyone even know what she's doing?"

"They do, can't do anything because she's from the ministry."

"That's ridiculous. She's stepping out of bounds. Someone needs to do something."

Why are they exchanging a look over your head?

"Well, I'd best be off," George says suddenly, hopping to his feet. You glance over at him, seeing him tugging at the collar of his robe. "I gotta catch up with some fellows anyhow, got some merchandise and all that."

Ahuh.

All their prankster toys.

You watch as he goes across the grass, waving to a few other Gryffindors as he passes.

At least no one sneers at you and Fred anymore, well, some Slytherins still do but you think that's just their faces. You've been together long enough now where it's just sort of either accepted or ignored, and that suits you just fine. You don't like being in the spotlight.

"Can you meet me tonight, after curfew?" Fred asks suddenly, his hand creeping to yours.

"Okay, now are you trying to get me detention?" You ask in amusement, threading your fingers with his. "You know how strict things are right now."

"Yeah, I know, but I want to show you something."

"Like what?"

"Well, let's call it a secret club of sorts, but you're invited. Just meet me at the Room of Requirement. You know how to get there, yeah?"

Well, yes, of course you do. Fred and you have been in there before, to finally have some peace and quiet for yourselves so you can spend genuine time together. Well, you've also used it a few times yourself just so you can study and not be interrupted.

"Yes."

"Good. Promise you'll meet me tonight?"

"Fred, I don't know ---."

"Oh, c'mon, (Y/N). Be a sport, would you? It'll be fun."

You look at him dubiously. A secret club? A club shouldn't be secret unless it's something that Umbridge would pitch a fit over, which is exactly what it is, you suppose. Is that what he's doing every night? Running off to the Room of Requirement?

"After curfew?"

"Yup." He squeezes your hand. "Trust me, you're gonna love it."

Yeah, you find that suspicious.

"Why are you only telling me now about this?" You ask after a moment, curious. Why just now mention this club when you don't doubt it's been going on for a bit? Who all is involved?

You doubt any other Slytherins.

"Just didn't think you would be interested in it before," the twin shrugs his shoulders, and after a moment he stands, still holding your hand. "But now I think you will. Promise you'll meet me?"

You hesitate, gazing up into his mischevious eyes, your worry wavering.

"Fine," you relent after a moment. "But if I get caught and get sent to detention, I'm dragging you down with me."

Fred actually chuckles, and you flush as he presses a kiss against your knuckles. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

~~~~~~~~

This is such a bad idea.

You frown where you stand, glancing around anxiously. You're so worried someone checking the halls is going to come around at any point and spot you, report you. You do not want to get in trouble, because you will absolutely pitch the worst fit Umbridge has ever seen in the history of Hogwarts.

You sigh, tapping your foot impatiently; Fred said to meet him here! Now where is ---?

You gasp as you're suddenly being pulled back, someone having hold of the back of your shirt. You blink as you pass backward through the wall, bumping into someone before their arms close around you; you immediately know it's Fred, you can tell by the sweater he's wearing, the one his mother makes for him every Christmas.

You relax slightly before he lets you go, grinning at you when you turn around.

You glance behind him, eyes flicking over all the other students in the room, and you're surprised at the amount of them. How many people are skipping curfew right now to be here, and why is Harry walking around teaching?

The Room of Requirement looks like a studyhall, with a large area full of books that you can see Hermione perusing, and the House flags all dangle from the ceiling and errant columns; you notice there's no Slytherin colors however.

"What's going on?" You ask after a moment, the red head in front of you looking over his shoulder. You can see George and Neville Longbottom practicing with their wands, George apparently showing him the correct way to flick his wrist for a spell.

"We're practicing what they won't teach us." Fred says after a moment, stepping to where he stands beside you; you feel better that you didn't wear your house sweater, but just a normal one. "Umbridge is a terror, and all of us here aren't going to stand for it. We're learning Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"You're teaching yourselves magic?" You're surprised, that's not what you expected by secret club. You thought maybe just a hate-Umbridge club or something, but not this. Is Harry the ringleader, since he's apparently the teacher?

"Yep, since no one else will." Fred sounds so proud of himself, of everyone else, but you worry immediately. You'll all get expelled if you get caught here! Or worse, detention! Well, you suppose that's not so bad, but still it'll be on your record and that's definitely not something that you want. "All of us know Umbridge is going to run this school to the ground, and with You-Know-Who back, we need to be prepared."

You frown as you glance up at him. Is he really back, though? Harry has been spouting that for years, you're sort of numb to it.

"Well.... what spells have you learned so far?" You're reluctantly curious, and though you really don't want to be incriminated by staying in this room any longer than necessary, it has your interest. So they're really teaching each other spells?

"Expelliarmus. Stupefy. Basic defensive spells."

"So nothing extreme?"

"No," Fred looks amused, his arm coming to rest across your shoulders and giving you a light squeeze. "You think we were learnin' something wild in here? Like how to walk through walls or turn people into ferrets?"

Your mind immediately flicks to Draco and his unfortunate time spent as the animal, and you purse your lips against a smile. "Well, it was always a possibility."

Fred chuckles; you have a point.

"We're just learning the spells rather than reading about them. This is where we can practice, and not have to worry about someone catching us."

"Don't you worry what will happen should Umbridge find out?"

"Eh, don't worry. Hermione has something in place, we'd know exactly who ratted us out."

"Yes, but there stands the point it would be too late. If she finds out, all of you will be in so much trouble." You worry, crossing your arms tightly across your chest. "You could be expelled!"

"Now you do sound like Hermione."

You frown.

Your greatest rival.

"So, are you interested? You'd be a great help, you're a quick learner." Fred states, although you know you don't have much of a choice. One, because he's already showed you their secret meeting and you can't forget it and are therefore involved. Two, well, it's a good idea, you really do need to know how to use the spells, reading about them and not performing them is ridiculous.

"I'm in," you say, noticing you're also the only Slytherin in the room. "As long as no one else has an issue with it."

"Nah, you're my girl, you're trustworthy," Fred shrugs, your eyes flicking up to him. He says that so easily, like he really does trust you'll not say a word and have the best intentions. You're a Slytherin, though, he really shouldn't be so... well, you're still sure the Sorting Hat made a mistake with you, you were meant to be a Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff --- anything but a Slytherin!

"So, you want to get started? Harry's going to teach us about how to cast a Patronus," Fred says, his voice excited. "To fight off the Dementors."

"He knows how to do that?" You're surprised, but with how many of them were around last year during the tournament you shouldn't be. No wonder he learned how to fight them, he had so many altercations with them!

"Harry's got a lot more tricks up his sleeve than people give him credit for," your boyfriend smirks, urging you to walk with him to where Harry is talking to Neville and George. "Now, let's get you started. You're a bit behind after all."

"Well, as you said, I'm a quick study."

~~~~~~~

"Plotting against me, is he?" Umbridge mutters as she paces back and forth inside her very pink, kitten-decorated office. Draco frowns where he stands by the door, watching as he goes to her desk, rapping her nails against the hard wood. "Thinking he can make his students create a club, well, it's not going to work in his favor!"

Ahuh.

Draco knows about the D.A., everyone does actually, it's just no one talks about it. He isn't about to say a word to Umbridge about it, no matter how much he'd love to busy Harry Potter. He thinks it's a good idea, although he'd never voice that, and he also knows you've gotten twisted up in it thanks to that damned Weasley.

He's seen you hanging around blatantly with Harry and Hermione, the latter of which you're always frustrated with! He can only imagine that must be what is happening, and that it's only a matter of time before you all get caught.

So, he has to save you, of course.

He's not sure how, but there must be some way to get you out of that ridiculous club. Even if he does agree with it, he could never go along with it on principle, Harry is involved after all and his arch nemesis. So the only conclusion is that he's going to have to hunt all the other members down, get someone to confess, and advise that you were a spy on his side the entire time working for information, but he wanted to play his cards close to his chest lest your identity be found out.

Or is that... too unbelievable?

He'll have to think on it.

Meanwhile, he now has to deal with a paranoid Umbridge, and in some ways she reminds him of his father. The power hungry, paranoid, insecure way, anyhow --- power slips so easily these days, he finds it rather depressing she's become erratic so quickly.

"Perhaps we should start questioning some of the students known to be a part of the group," Pansy Parkinson offers, eager to get on Umbridge's side. Draco frowns as he glances at her, Crabbe and Goyle flanking either side of them. The Inquisitorial Squad is rather small, and mostly just Slytherins, and see if you'd just joined, you wouldn't be in this predicament!

You're always siding with the enemy.

"I know Cho Chang, that Gryffindor, is one." Pansy offers when Umbridge doesn't immediately bite. "And that friend of hers, her mother works at the ministry, we can put pressure on her."

Clever, Pansy. Draco almost appreciates her cunning.

Almost.

She's still not as brilliant are you are.

"Well, I must say that's not a bad idea." Umbridge pauses thoughtfully, brushing her fingers against her pink skirt suit with lace frills on the hem. "Do that, would you, dear? I want this 'club' dismantled immediately. And I want the instigator brought to me immediately."

"Yes, Professor." Pansy grins, pleased her suggestion is taken. "We will start right away."

She turns, heading quickly for the door but not before giving Draco a smug look that only makes him scowl.

She's a right thorn in his side.

"Draco," Umbridge sighs as she sits down at her desk, clasping her hands in front of her as she straightens. She really does look like a toad sitting there in her little pink hat, gazing at him with glassy, soulless eyes.

"Yes, Professor?"

"Do be a dear and put in a good word for me with your parents. I'm sure they're pleased I've made you part of the Inquisitorial Squad. It's only for the most trustworthy of students, you know," Umbridge adds, as if it's some great honor.

Draco inclines his blonde head slightly, but he has no intentions of bragging on her whatsoever. He needs to write his mother and check on her anyhow, considering their house guests.

He's just had to be more clever about sending letters out of Hogwarts so that Umbridge doesn't read them, and just in case he does write them in code.

"Now, let's move on to more pleasant business," Umbridge states, lightly straightening a picture of a mewing kitten on her desk. She preens for a moment before turning her gleaming eyes on the students gathered before her desk. "Who wants to lead the others when we storm their hideout, hmm? Who thinks they're most worthy?"

Draco visibly rolls his eyes as Pansy,Crabbe, and Goyle all immediately announce they would love too. She just asked that question as if she was asking who wants the next pin of ice cream.

How insulting.

Of course Draco is going to do it, he's a natural born leader after all. Crabbe and Goyle are followers, they're not smart enough to lead anything unless it's themselves to the Great Hall for dinner. Pansy is just manipulative but she'd rather be treated like a princess then do any hard work, she just wants the power and recognition.

So of course Draco is the natural leader, the natural choice.

"I'll do it," Draco sighs dramatically, as if it pains him to speak. Everyone frowns as they look at him, but Umbridge looks pleased that he volunteered.

"Wonderful," she replies, clasping her hands on her desk, smirking. "Let's find out where this silly army is and destroy everything."

Huh.

Draco really needs to get you out of there.

~~~~~~~~~

"Are you not worried about what your career is going to be?" You ask, distracted by the numerous pamphlets. You have no idea what you want to do with your future, you know your marks are fantastic, but...

"You're great at everything, you have nothing to worry about." Fred replies where he sits beside you, not at all looking bothered. You'd found him in the courtyard, by himself for once, which is odd considering George is always at his side. He's older, so he's already gone through the Career Advice, but it makes you nervous! You're meeting is with Snape, and you don't know what you want to do!

"But what about my career?" You sigh, holding four different pamphlets in hand. "I mean, Harry knows he wants to be an auror, that's what he said to McGonagall! What did you say to her?" You glance up at him anxiously. "What was your career choice?"

"Well, me and George said we was going to open up a joke shop, so that was going to be our 'career.' McGonagall agreed."

"She agreed?" You snort, doubting that completely. That stern woman doesn't look like she would agree much with what the twins say, but you don't really know her. Snape is okay, but he makes you uncomfortable with his constant glaring and disdain; your father says he was always like that, even as a child. They all went to school together.

"She has a soft spot for us, I think." Fred chuckles, tugging one little booklet out of your nervous fingers. "You could be an auror too, you know. Or part of the ministry."

"The ministry is literally up in flames right now, they're not very stable." You dismiss that immediately.

"Healer?"

"Do I look nurturing?" You snort, waving that away; you don't like blood anyway.

"My older brother works at Gringotts as a curse-breaker," Fred suggests helpfully after a moment. "You could do something like that. Goblins aren't very chatty, so I'm not sure how great the water cooler talk is."

"Which one?" You look up in surprise; you didn't know anyone in his family worked there.

"Bill, he's my oldest brother."

Oh nice.

"Well, my other brother, Charlie, he works with dragons." Fred sounds like he's reluctantly impressed. "Rounding them up and taking care of them and all that."

"I don't know if I could handle a dragon," they're much too big and nothing at all like cats! You run your fingers through your hair, tucking away the loose strands. "It must be nice to have so many siblings."

"My mum had seven of us, can you imagine? I don't think she remembers all of our names," he jokes, nudging you. "Must be pretty peaceful being an only child."

"I suppose. My parents raised me around all the other wizarding families, so it wasn't too lonely." you shrug your shoulders.

It's almost easy for Fred to forget you were raised around the pure bloods, around Draco, for most of your life.

"What about a writer? You love reading books."

"A writer?" you frown. "I feel like all the subjects have probably already been covered, though. I wouldn't have anything new to put out there."

"Make a new one, write some fiction." Fred takes your hand, squeezing. "You're talented. You're brilliant, you know, and pretty," you flush, "you know your business. You can choose whatever career you want."

He thinks you're pretty?

Everyone always tells you how smart you are, but you know that. You keep your grades exemplary, and you'd be at the top if it wasn't for Hermione --- you don't know how she always does better than you!

You know your face is hot, your cheeks are burning, but Fred looks pleased with himself. Maybe he should compliment you more often!

"You think much too highly of me," you dismiss, embarrassed.

"No, I don't think so," Fred grins, and he leans forward to kiss your hair. "And don't worry, you'll find something that's good for you. Don't let Snape bully you."

"Snape is fine," he's never been mean to you or anything, and you like the sass he gives Umbridge, him and McGonagall both. He might be the head of your house, but you're pretty sure you're just another student to him; you hope your parents weren't mean to him, not like you've heard Harry's might have been.

They're infamous, after all.

It makes you feel bad for Snape at times, really.

"I gotta go," Fred sighs as he stands, rolling his shoulders. He doesn't want too, he was enjoying some time with just you, but --- well, Harry needs him and George, and the brothers are going to thoroughly enjoy pranking Umbridge. They need to, of course, discuss and iron out the details of the plan, but that won't take long; Hermione is a genius, although she's totally against it. "But I'll see you for dinner, yeah?"

"Of course." You get to your feet, tossing your pamphlets onto your books; you'll worry about them later when your meeting is closer, at least it gets you out of Umbridge's class for a while. "Don't do anything diabolical."

"Me and George? Nah." Fred chuckles, and you roll your eyes. "Everyone seems to think we're deviants."

"Probably because you hang around Peeves so much," you mention the ghost who's always doing something, and with who the brothers seem to really like. "You're a bad influence on him."

"Ya wound me, truly." Fred shakes his head, ginger hair brushing his eyes. He doesn't think about it as he leans down, giving you a swift kiss he knows will probably get you both in trouble should Umbridge ever see, but he can't help himself; he really likes you, you're one of his favorite people, and man you rival Hermione when it comes to spells.

He's seen the expert way you move your wand, how so easily you catch on to the rather advanced spells Hermione wants to use sometimes. Even she begrudgingly has to admit you're on the same level, you're brilliant; Fred doesn't think he's ever been so smitten with anyone before, at least not so wholeheartedly.

You can't do anything wrong in his eyes, but he knows you have a weakness for Draco.

He's not blind.

He knows Draco is in love with you, that's clear to anyone with eyes who's in the same room as the two of you; the Slytherin moons after you. You don't seem to notice, you've never looked at Draco like you're interested back, which is the only reason Fred doesn't worry. He trusts you, he figures it's just because the two of you grew up together and your families are so close.

At least yours isn't a Death Eater, your father is a renowned inventor who works closely with the Ministry, but isn't necessarily one of them.

You watch as Fred leaves, frowning after him. Why do you have the feeling he's up to something?

~~~~~~

The Weasleys are up to something, Draco just knows it. He eyeballs the twins across the Great Hall where they sit at their table across from Harry and his followers, their heads all bent together as they talk.

What are they planning?

What are they up too? Are they talking about their secret hiding place? Are they talking about their next move?

He's dying to know.

His eyes flick to you where you sit down the table from him, your chin propped on your hand as you read a book. You've not really eaten much tonight, are you not feeling well? You seem fairly focused on whatever it is you're reading, and he noticed you're using a career pamphlet as a bookmark. Have you been studying those?

Draco doesn't know what career he wants either, but he's wealthy, he doesn't really need one. His money is old and plentiful, so he's not worried about his future. You shouldn't either, you're in the same category as him, so why are you frowning so hard?

What's bothering you?

"What do you think they're talking about?" Pansy asks softly, sitting to Draco's right. She's leaning forward a little over the table, dark hair framing her face. Her gossiping friends are sitting around her, as well as a few other members of the Inquisitorial Squad; Draco and Pansy are both prefects as well, so unfortunately they're spending a lot of time together.

Draco can only tolerate her in increments, and before he used to think they were at least decent friends.

Funny how times change.

"Maybe what they're doing for the summer?" someone down the table shrugs, earning a roll of eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous," Pansy scoffs, her eyes focusing. "I know they're up to something, look at them conspiring. We're going to bust them, I know it."

Draco doesn't say anything, just keeps eating his dinner, listening. Pansy is intent she's going to get in good with Umbridge, gain some status, and he's going to use her ambition for his own. She'll no doubt find out the location of their meetings and how to crash them, and as soon as she finds out, he's going to make sure you're not there --- no one can ruin your name, and he just can't let Umbridge get ahold of you.

He slowly sips his drink.

He doesn't know why he still wants to protect you after you constantly reject him, make him feel terrible, and just overall say he's a horrible person. He's still sore over your last argument, which he feels was completely unnecessary since he was in the right. He was keeping you from detention, a little gratitude goes a long way!

His eyes flick down the table to where you're sitting, ignoring the world. You're absently twisting the end of your braid between your fingers, which lets him know you're pretty deep in thought. What are you thinking about? How involved with the D.A. are you really?

He doesn't want you in trouble.

He gets the reason behind it, Umbridge doesn't teach anything at all during class, but that's beside the point.

"Oh, will you stop staring at (Y/N) like a love sick puppy!?"

What?

Draco turns in surprise, staring at Pansy as she scowls at him.

"What?"

"Stop staring at her! She obviously likes Gryffindors, she's dating one of those mudblood lovers, isn't she? One of those twins? I saw them yesterday in the courtyard snogging." Pansy rolls her eyes, moving her hair out of her eyes. "If Umbridge saw they'd have days of detention."

Draco's face sours.

He didn't need to know that.

He prefers not to think of it.

"You know, I bet she would know about the whereabouts, or whatever they're planning," Pansy continues, as if a light bulb has gone off atop her head. Her eyes widen, and it's quite an unsettling smile on her face. "They probably trust her, don't you think?"

"Trust a Slytherin? They wouldn't dare," Millicent Bulstrode says, sitting across from Pansy, black hair loose around her face. Draco has never liked the half-blood witch, she's rather violent, and there's no class about her in his eyes. "They'd be fools."

"Gryffindors are fools, Millicent. They're brave but they're stupid."

Well, how rude, yet Draco agrees.

"I don't think (Y/N) is going to have much information," Draco says after a moment, shrugging his shoulders. "Being a Slytherin, they're not going to tell her anything."

"Or that's what they want us to think, and she does know something!" Pansy retorts, peeved. "You always defend her."

"She's one of us."

"She doesn't act like it."

Draco huffs, straightening slightly as he turns his silver gaze on her in a withering stare. She doesn't immediately cower, but after a moment she looks away, frowning. He doesn't want to argue with her, he's not in the mood; he has too much to think about.

"Houses are supposed to stick together, especially the pure bloods," he says after a moment, his eyes flicking across the table where his... his "friends" sit. "We're of very few pure bloodlines these days, and those of us of status need to be reminded of who our allies are."

"Shouldn't that be a speech she hears?" Pansy snaps, insulted.

"I think it's a speech we all should hear," he retorts, annoyed. "There's only twenty-six families left of pure blood, and we're the future of them. We can't alienate other members simply because we don't like them."

"You're just saying that because you like her so much," Millicent says after a moment, almost in a challenging tone; she feels braver with Pansy across from her. "You want her to be the one that continues your stupid family name."

Draco rolls his eyes. "Well at least I know she would be worthy of it, she's brilliant. Unlike some of us here."

Draco sips his drink.

Not to insult anyone's intelligence, but some are not doing so well in their classes.

At least no one else dares to challenge his words.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, (Y/N)."

"No."

Draco frowns, miffed. "Excuse me?"

"I don't want to talk to you," you say over your shoulder, not breaking your pace as you leave your last class of the day. Draco is right behind you, he obviously wants a conversation and the last one you had was a fight.

"Well, I need to talk to you," he replies, easily catching pace with his long legs. You cut your eyes at him, frowning; his blonde hair looks messy, like he's been running his fingers through it, and he has a determined glint in his eyes that lets you know you're not going to have a choice but talk to him.

"What about?" You frown, holding your books to your chest a little tighter, gait slowing as you reach the stairs. Everyone is filing past you, and honestly you don't even like being seen with Draco under the circumstances; anyone who would side with Umbridge doesn't currently have good status, plus they're jerks.

"Come with me," he glances around, not liking the crowd or for anyone to overhear. What he has to say is important, and would probably get him on Umbridge's bad side, not that it would matter, she still couldn't bother him. His family is too important.

"Where?" you sound wary, you don't want to go anywhere with him. You find it incredibly suspicious.

"(Y/N)." He's quite serious, and you sigh, giving in.

"Fine, lead the way." You huff, your eyes flicking around; Fred wanted to meet you later, you hope this doesn't make you late.

You follow Draco reluctantly, the two of you heading in the opposite direction of the dorms. You frown as he steps down a very deserted hallway, the paintings all turning to look down at you curiously from their frames. You ignore them, but they're all such gossips you're glad when he keeps walking.

"Where are we going?" You ask, frowning. "The middle of nowhere?"

"I don't want anyone overhearing is all, too many ears," he gestures lightly, and you know he's talking about the paintings. You raise your brows, finally coming to a section where it's all statues and suits of armor, no prying eyes.

He's not going to try and kiss you, is he?

"Draco, what is it?" You ask in exasperation, annoyed. "I have something to do, and you're going to make me late."

"You know, I'm trying to be nice and help you out," he's annoyed you're being so rude. "Out of the kindness of my heart."

"You can't have a heart and work for Umbridge." you retort, irked. "She's a monster."

"Most people in the world are." he turns, cutting his eyes in either direction before turning his serious gaze back on you. "But she's why I'm here, and it's for your own good, so it would do you well to listen."

"What do you mean?" You shift your books against your black robe, frowning.

"Umbridge knows just about all the members part of the D.A., and she's going to get them all." Draco almost feels like a traitor for spilling the beans, and he knows it's also hurting his chances of putting Harry Potter in the fire, but... well, your well-being is more important. "First one of them spills the beans, and she'll come crashing down on all their heads, the Weasleys included."

You tense, staring up at him. "Why are you telling me this?"

Your heart beats a little faster with worry, your mind flicking to the Room of Requirement --- oh no. Has someone told? Did someone snitch on the group? Technically you're just learning spells and how to defend yourself, that shouldn't be a punishable crime! It's not fair at all!

"Because you're always with them now, and if Umbridge thinks you know anything about their group ---."

"I'm a Slytherin, Draco, she won't do anything." You dismiss; you're not worried about yourself, but everyone else? They're going to be in danger and she won't take it easy on them! You should warn them, shouldn't you? Oh but if you say something they'll ask who from, and if you say Draco ---.

"You don't know that." Draco doesn't know if the House will matter since you align yourself with the Gryffindors. "if you're caught with them ---."

"Draco, don't be ridiculous. They're not even doing anything to get caught at," you reply, trying to play it off. "This is not ---."

"You know you're a terrible liar, don't you?" Draco can read you easily, you always avert your eyes when you lie. It could also be due to the fact he knows you so well, he's grown up with you, spent years with you, kissed you ---. "I know you too well."

"You don't know me at all," you scowl at him, shifting your books nervously.

"I know you well, you know that. We've spent too much time together ---."

"Not that much time ---."

"We just spent the entire summer together!"

"Not the entire summer," you disagree, knowing you're being difficult. You appreciate him warning you, it must mean that he cares something about you, right? He must understand that you're immediately going to tell the others, warn them that she's onto them, which you suppose they already know.

But she must be getting close if he's concerned.

"(Y/N)," Draco sounds frustrated. "I'm trying to help."

"I know, I know, thank you," you say, rather sincerely. It's out of character for him to be so nice but you are thankful he's at least making the gesture despite his jerkish nature this year. You need to go tell the others now though, before it's too late! You need to find Fred!

He said he wanted to meet you today, so it's the perfect time to tell him!

~~~~~~

"You're --- what?" You gasp, taken back. You stare at Fred where the two of you stand on the staircase, startled. You'd been so excited to see him, you'd planned on telling him about Draco visiting you, and he just hits you with this!

"We're creating a distraction for Harry, George and me." Fred says, as if it's the most natural thing to do in the world. "And then we're leaving."

"But --- but where are you going?" You demand, flabbergasted. Leaving? He can't leave! You know he's seventeen, he's technically of age to do whatever he wants, but he's --- he can't leave! Umbridge is vile and still around, and he's just going to leave you here, without him, with her?

"Me and George are going to open our joke shop, in Diagon Alley. We've already got a place picked out and everything, we don't need to be here," he gestures vaguely in the air, his voice excited. "We're going to make plenty of galleons with our merchandise."

"Your pranks and your jokes, all those toys."

"Yes." Fred says proudly. "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes!"

He moves his arm in an arc as if displaying the name in the air. He looks so pleased with himself, and you want to be happy for him, but --- you're disappointed. You don't want him to go, won't that end your relationship?

"I'm happy for you, I know that's what you've always wanted," you say, although you're afraid your voice doesn't sound sincere. "I mean, you and George are wonderful pranksters."

"Yeah," he shifts slightly, soft eyes looking down at you. "We're not staying here another night."

"Okay." You don't really know what to say, that's --- he's just leaving.

"(Y/N)," Fred suddenly grasps your hands, and you find his very warm as they encompass yours. "You can come with me, you know. We can go together."

"You want me to go with you?" You say, incredulous. He can't really expect you'll go, can he? You can't just skip out on school, plus you're not even seventeen! Your parents would hunt you down and drag you back screaming, especially if they thought you were abandoning your education for a boy!

"Yes." His grip tightens, and for the first time he seems serious, his eyes finding yours. "Come with me, (Y/N). We'd have so much fun, and you can't want to stay in this place."

"Well, No, I --- I don't want to stay here, but I can't just leave." You hesitate, and after a moment you take your hands from his. "You don't even have that long left, Fred! You shouldn't leave so close to being able to graduate ---."

"Ah, school was never for me and George. This could be a new adventure for us! We'd have a blast! Our future isn't here in this old castle."

"But you're so close to graduation, Fred!" And he's giving all of that up for Harry? To do what exactly? You can't believe he's just giving up his education! What about his future? What about if his joke shop doesn't work out? It's not practical!

"(Y/N)," Fred looks disappointed; he didn't really expect you to go with him, but he thought you might be a little more supportive. "School just isn't the place for us, you know that. We're leaving tonight, I just wanted to let you know."

You sigh, brushing your hair out of your face. You suppose that means the two of you are breaking up then, considering you can't have a relationship with someone you never see, or will get to have contact with under these circumstances.

Your first breakup, great.

"I'll just... miss you." You admit, your cheeks warming with the confession. You don't want to see him go, he's been someone you can rely on and talk to, he makes you laugh, he even slightly brought you into his group of friends --- you love the D.A., you love learning the magic, the pairing up, Hermione is actually as brilliant as she seems. You know you're not friends with any of them, they were slightly distrustful in the beginning, but it's a nice start. "It won't be the same here without you."

"Ah, I could always leave George," Fred chuckles, relaxing slightly. He cups your shoulders, grinning down at you. "And you can always come see me on holidays and breaks. We already have plans for our shops, it'll be great. You'll get the friends and family discount."

"Well, how very generous of you." You force a smile up at him, but it's not as sincere as you want it to be. "Just be careful, okay? Umbridge is awful."

"We know how to handle her," Fred isn't worried. "We have this under control. Will you come see me over summer?"

"Of course I will. I'll make a special trip to Diagon Alley," you assure him, reaching up to squeeze his hand. "You'll have to pick out some of your inventions for me, some that I'd like."

"I'll have a whole basket." he says, nodding. His eyes flick down the hallway, he knows he's running out of time, but every moment with you is precious to him. He's going to miss you too; he appreciates your practicality, your cynicism, but also your kindness and other than Umbridge, you never say much bad about anyone. You shouldn't be a Slytherin, that's not your House, not where your loyalty lies.

You're too smart, too brave, like Hermione. You have such a bright future, you can do anything you want, like he told you before. He hates he has to leave, he wants to keep dating you, but he can't stay at Hogwarts anymore, it isn't for him; his future awaits.

Maybe one day you'll be in his future again.

"I have to go," he says, and before you can respond he's leaning down, giving you a swift, firm kiss that you somehow know will be the last one you ever get. You treasure those few moments before he lets go, before he's telling you goodbye and walking down the hallway.

Why do you have such a bad feeling about this?

Why do you feel like you'll never see him again?

~~~~~~~~~~

Draco is peeved.

He told you to stay away from Potter and all of his like, and now look at you! You're sitting in Umbridge's office, in trouble for something you've not even done! You look annoyed as well, sitting on the edge of the uncomfortable chair in front of the toad-like woman's desk.

The Weasleys made a serious mess of things the other day, fireworks and wild broom rides through the castle, how distasteful! They made quite a show before they left school grounds, Draco's father would disown him for behaving in such a way! But the Weasleys have so many children, disowning two of them would probably free up some space in that closet they live in.

"Well, Ms. (Y/L/N), I do hate we have to meet under such unfortunate circumstances." Umbridge sighs lightly from across her desk, your eyes narrowing; you're not intimidated by her, you're not going to cower either, and if she tries any sort of punishment, you'll have her head! You refuse to play her games. "I understand you were dating one of the twins who caused such a ruckus on school grounds the other day, interrupting classes and causing such a fuss."

"We're not dating anymore," you say after a moment, smoothing out the wrinkles in your black robes, the green Slytherin symbol bright on your chest. Draco's eyes flick to you where he stands at the back of the room, Pansy smirking at his side; she's the one who mentioned to Umbridge you should be spoken with, considering your disgraceful alliance with Potter. Crabbe and Goyle are hulking on the other side of the door, making sure the meeting isn't disturbed.

You really don't like her office. You don't understand the need for everything to be pink, from the carpet she's thrown down on the cold stone floor to the flowery curtains on the windows. There's little plates with playful kittens decorating the walls, all of them staring at you, it feels like, as judgemental as she is. The fire is crackling in the fireplace, and you know it's the only one the Ministry isn't heavily watching, the rest of the school is definitely under watch.

You decide you hate this room.

"Oh? Well, that's probably for the best. He doesn't seem like he was a good influence for you, Ms. (Y/L/N)." Umbridge curls her thick fingers together, leveling her gaze at you, but you don't squirm, you just stare back. "He seemed quite the troublemaker, a prankster. We don't take well to his kind at this school."

Ahuh.

"Why am I here?" You ask bluntly, not in the mood. You're mad at Fred for different reasons right now and you don't have time for Umbridge. You're upset he left, that the two of you broke up, that he's giving up his education for some wild dive in entrepreneurship that might not even be successful! What if it's a wasted venture!? He needs to think more about his future!

"It has been brought to my attention that Fred Weasley was involved in an unapproved organization, having meetings and performing magic that I did not sanction," Umbridge says, shifting slightly in her chair. "Would you know anything about this, dear?"

"No." Nope, nothing at all, not you. You have no idea what she's talking about. "Fred wouldn't get involved in something like that."

"Oh, but I believe he did," Umbridge gives you a sickly sweet smile. "I just want to see if you might have heard something, or he might have said something to you, that could be useful to us. After all, you're a Slytherin."

What does your House have to do with anything?

"Your fellow Slytherins are part of my Inquisitorial Squad, very trusted students. I hold them to the very highest of standards, and all of them I know are doing very well," Umbridge glances behind you. "I would love to add you to the Squad, of course, considering your cooperation."

Draco almost cringes; Umbridge is not doing well with you, he can tell by the stiff set of your shoulders. You don't like her, she could be offering you a job at the ministry right now and you'd still tell her to go jump off a broom. You're already shaking your head.

"I have no interest in your squad of bullies." You reply almost waspishly, Umbridge's brows rising. "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, what group of students would be doing magic. You've already banned study sessions, so it's not like a large amount of us could get together without notice. If such a thing was happening, I'm sure with your connections and the rapport you've built with the students at Hogwarts, no one would have any issue coming to tell you if they saw someone breaking the rules."

Well, you only insulted her openly once with the bully comment, but you certainly sugar-coated the rest of them. Draco is actually impressed, so you do have a mean bone in your body, and it's not just directed at him! Finally someone else can get a lashing.

"Well," Umbridge's smile grows, but that's not a good sign. "I can see you're certainly your mothers daughter."

Oh? What's that supposed to mean?

You frown at her, straightening. You're tempted to stand up and walk out, she's not going to get anything out of you, not without a truth potion. She wouldn't dare go that far, but you won't put anything past her either. At least the school year is close to over and you can get out of this place. It's been nothing but awful this year.

"Well, Miss (Y/L/N), where were you the other day, when the Weasleys were planning their big plan? Do you have anyone who can vouch for your whereabouts?"

What?

You blink at her a moment, taken back. Is she trying to involve you in their scheme? Does she want to punish you for something they did, especially when you haven't ---?

"Excuse me?"

"I'm just curious. We do want to make sure that if anyone knew about the Weasleys plan, and did not report it, they are given the appropriate punishment."

Well.

Uh.

Hmm.

You were with Fred before he made such a commotion, and you did know about the plan. You don't have anyone who can vouch for where you were, and even if you did not a lot would, you're not friends with them, or Umbridge would bully them into saying otherwise. So you don't have an excuse, or anyway to defend yourself.

Umbridge look pleased when you don't respond, and she starts to speak, to explain exactly how much you're going to be in trouble for their crime; she doesn't like you, she knows your parents due to your fathers constant visits to the Ministry and your mothers high social status, and you've certainly your mothers snotty attitude and none of your fathers genius. However, when you have money, brilliance and etiquette doesn't seem to matter, as in your case. You're rude, insolent, and you look at her as if you're going to run through her!

Not polite at all.

"She was with me." Draco blurts suddenly, stepping forward from the back of the room. You swivel to look at him over your shoulder in surprise, Umbridge even blinking. He stops beside your chair, where you're both facing the toadlike witch, and it's not just you by yourself. "I can vouch for her, Professor."

"You can?" Umbridge frowns, leaning back in her chair. That's not what she wants to hear.

"Yes. (Y/N) and I were together before the incident." Draco says confidently, a smirk appearing on his lips. You tense as you look up at him, wondering what awful words are about to come out his mouth. "She and the Weasley have been not been together for a few days, actually."

"Oh?" Umbridge almost frowns. "So you're saying she was with you before and during the incident?"

"Well, before certainly, during we were all in class." Draco says innocently, his hand coming to rest on the back of the chair beside you. "We were talking, in the hallways. I'm sure some of the paintings can substantiate that, they saw us."

"And the two of you were... talking?" Umbridge gestures back and forth, raising her brows. You feel sick, you really do, you can't believe this. Draco is insinuating that you just, that you just went from Fred right to him!? Like Fred didnt matter whatsoever to you? That would never be the case!

You would never choose Draco!

"Of course. We were discussing our studies, the careers we want to choose." Draco shrugs nonchalantly. "She wouldn't have been discussing anything with the Weasley, she's not had anything to do with him. She's moved on."

You're going to punch him. You don't say a word, your fingers curling tightly in your lap until your knuckles turn white. You're so, so angry at him, how could he say something like that! You were still dating Fred, actually, and you were loyal to him!

Well, no, actually, you...

No, you're not going to think about those moments with Draco, those few kisses that don't mean anything or matter in the long run. He doesn't care about you, he's never made you laugh or smile like Fred, all he cares about is his money and docking points off muggle born witches in other Houses!

You just don't want him to make it sound like Fred wasn't important, like he could just be discarded so easily. That's certainly not the case!

"Well, I'm certainly not going to question that choosing someone of her own House isn't much better," Umbridge states, liking your discomfort. "Houses should stay together, after all, as it's always been. Well, Miss (Y/L/N), Mr. Malfoy states that you had nothing to do with the Weasley conundrum, is that correct?"

"Yes." You say between your teeth, your jaw wanting to clench. You know you should be happy that Draco is giving an excuse that covers you, but still!

You're just ---.

"Very well then, all of you are dismissed." Umbridge says, shaking her head. "Please report to me if you gain any knowledge on this unfortunate event."

There's a chorus of "yes, Professor," before everyone is shuffling, heading for the door. You rise slowly, sending Draco a furious look as you pass him, one that makes his stomach drop. He's tried all year to keep you out of Umbridge's clutches, he's lied many times, sweet-talked, belittled even in Pansy's case, to ensure you have a safe year, and yet you're still mad at him! Sure, his methods may not have been exactly ethical, but that shouldn't matter!

Why are you always so mad at him?

What a disaster of a year.

Tags: @ariminiria @xaohroa @raven666hale. @thebrookerose. @imthedrappleapple. @scarlet-witch-baby @a-mnda @itsspecial-itsnotforeveryone

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pride-vns-blog · 6 years

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LGBTQ VN Week: Day One! (6/18)

Welcome to the first day of my LGBTQ visual novel recommendation week, in honor of Pride Month 2018! Every day from today (June 18th) to Sunday (June 24th), I’ll be talking about four visual novels with LGBTQ themes, characters, and/or creators that have stood out to me and explaining a little bit about why I like them! I also reached out to a handful of those VNs’ developers and talked with them about their work, so you’ll be seeing a casual interview tagged onto the end of every post, too. ✨

To kick things off today, I’m highlighting four visual novels that are practically bursting at the seams with personality, all in their own ways — Saturn’s WORST DATING SIM, Obscurasoft’s Coming Out On Top, Brianna Lei’s Butterfly Soup, and Madeleine’s Inverness Nights!

Hit the jump to read about watching Animal Planet with punks, beta-testing hookup apps, Mario fire alarms, and why it is that so many visual novels seem to use character archetypes.

One note before we get started! This list isn't meant to be reflective of "the objectively best LGBTQ visual novels" or anything like that, which I want to be ultra-clear about upfront. It's not a list of all the ones I've ever played, either. There are plenty of visual novels with LGBTQ characters/themes that have been recommended to me frequently — while I was working on this list and over the past couple years — that didn't make it onto this list because I couldn't afford to buy them, or because they just weren't for me when I did buy them, or because of a million other reasons.

To give an example of this in action: I barely have any originally-Japanese language visual novels on here, because the number of M/M ones that get translated is already so low and already nearly 100% commercial, and I'm way more inclined to pay for M/M than anything else. (Reason: I'm gay and I like looking at hot guys.) For the purposes of this list specifically, I've also cut out a fair few BL-marketed VNs — from both Western and Eastern developers — that skirt around the issue of whether or not the protagonist is gay/bi/etc awkwardly.

I also tried to limit myself to one VN per team, picking the ones I thought were best representative of their output and leaving space to mention other works of theirs that I'd liked, with the aim of keeping this list from being totally dominated by studios who'd put out a lot over a long period of time. And then personal taste for other genre and content details comes into play, so it cuts out even more from what's left! In the originally-Japanese BL category alone, that left me with a single nominee, which was... Well, you'll see!

Basically, I went over a lot of different options to settle onto a list that's ultimately only supposed to be things that I, personally, would recommend! And I don't want to recommend things I didn't enjoy, one way or another. Nobody wants to sit through multiple paragraphs of a slog where I'm trying to talk about a game I didn't actually like (or, in plenty of cases, a game I couldn't afford) without acknowledging that I didn't like it. To be totally honest, that sounds like it would suck to try and write.

So if your favorite LGBTQ visual novels aren't on here, but you want to give people an excuse to play them, I'd love to read anyone else's personal recommendation lists! I'm not a journalist or a reviewer and this isn't anything close to a formalized games review blog that I'm planning to update ever again; I'm just a VN dev who felt like sitting down and making a list of other LGBTQ VNs I liked one day, so I went and I did it. And I felt like giving those other devs a platform if I was going to talk about their work, so I took my own Patreon earnings to pay for as many as I could, then I went and did some interviews, too.

Thanks for sitting through (or skimming, as the case may be) that wall of text! Without further ado, let's talk WORST DATING SIM!

WORST DATING SIM (SATURN)

Itchio Tagline: “MRGRGR.” Genre(s): Slice of life, shitpost. Release Date: January 22nd, 2018. Content Warnings: Brief depiction of blood; violence.

Out of all the visual novels I’ll be covering over the next week, WORST DATING SIM is the only one I haven’t seen nearly all the content for, and not for a lack of trying! Saturn’s debut visual novel, a challenging conversational simulator where a punk named Etsuji decides to follow you home and hang out with you purely because he can, features a grand total of 69 ways you can get a GAME OVER. By and large, these endings come at the hands of your newfound friend (?), who’s got a temper and a sensitive streak a mile wide. If Etsuji doesn’t like what you’re saying, he’ll knock your lights out, and you’ll get booted back to the title screen.

The way WORST DATING SIM doubles down on this challenge is by intentionally removing Ren’Py’s default save feature — if you piss Etsuji off, you’re back at square one, period. You have to either somehow retain the information yourself or turn to someone else’s successful run for help, because it’s deliberately designed to be done in a single playthrough without reloading. Even a fair few jokes in the script, like “I’m sure in several alternate universes he’s punched my lights out, but so far I’m safe,” are dropped in to acknowledge the fact that beating WORST DATING SIM is more akin to powering through a run of Getting Over It with Bennett Foddy. (But don’t worry, the Skip Text function is still there to help you out!)

As someone who does turn to guides frequently to find out what I’m missing on my third or fourth playthroughs of visual novels, I assumed from the start that at some point that I’d want to find a walkthrough in order to see any real endings. But the sheer charm of Etsuji’s responses and, to be completely frank, how much fun I was having just trying to scale Etsuji’s emotional mountain meant that I never really hit that point while playing. WORST DATING SIM’s distinct personality struck exactly the right chord in my brain that made me want to keep playing by myself, tunneling away at it persistently, and it made the ending(s!) feel all that much more rewarding.

WORST DATING SIM is available now for free on Itchio, and you can follow Saturn on his Itch.io or Twitter (NSFW) for updates on more potential WDS content or his other upcoming visual novels.

COMING OUT ON TOP (OBSCURASOFT)

Itchio Tagline: “The erotic comedy gay dating game that'll make [you] laugh, cry, and get a little boned up! Hot dudes included.” Genre(s): Comedy, romance. Release Date: December 10th, 2014. Content Warnings: Nudity; mentions of homophobia; sexual content; seriously there’s a lot of sex in this.

If you’ve played M/M dating sims in the English language sphere any time in the last five years, you’ve probably heard of Obscurasoft’s Coming Out On Top — drawing more from the Western tradition of porn by and for gay men than anything else, it tells the story of newly-out college senior Mark Matthews and his run-ins with hot guy after hot guy (after hot guy, after... you get the picture). With the help of his roommate Penny, he also takes on the hookup app scene and delves into a sea of bonus dates funded by Kickstarter backers, which were released steadily from January 2015 to December 2016.

Coming Out On Top’s steady stream of humor never goes so far as to be totally derailing from its focus on sexuality and Mark’s genuinely sincere approach to relationships, casual or otherwise; Obscurasoft manages to infuse the numerous sex scenes with enough awkwardness, humor, and personality that actually playing through them back-to-back feels less like a string of pinups and more like scenes Mark is actively involved in or growing from. As a character, especially one whose archetype has gotten a lot of mileage in gay porn since the dawn of mankind, it’d be narratively easy to let Mark remain a generally undefined slate for players to project themselves onto.

And while there is a degree of personalization, especially when it comes to how blatantly horned-up some of the dialogue is compared to other options the player can choose, Coming Out On Top is still very distinctly Mark’s story. His specific insecurities from years of being closeted don’t vanish as soon as he comes out, and hookups don’t always work out for him the way they might in ten minute long “first time” AVs. His grades still matter, and his friends still exist, and he’s still got his own sense of priorities the player can disregard (at their own fish-related peril) or see through on the slow climb to the end of his senior year.

Coming Out On Top is available now for $14.99 on Itch.io, and Obscurasoft’s website; to get early updates about what they’re working on next, you can follow their News & Updates blog or their Twitter.

BUTTERFLY SOUP (BRIANNA LEI)

Itchio Tagline: “Gay girls playing baseball and falling in love.” Genre(s): Comedy, slice of life. Release Date: September 16th, 2017. Content Warnings: Parental abuse; violence; racist language; homophobic language; ableist abuse and slurs.

The strength of Butterfly Soup’s personality, from beginning to end, is founded in its four point-of-view characters — kindhearted Diya, reckless Min, sharp Noelle, and carefree (?) Akarsha. As a group of ninth grade friends with different priorities and different reasons for joining their shared baseball team, which are as obvious as the hugely-varied color schemes of each girl’s clothes, they play off of one another easily. Lei uses her fair share of actual memes, but never ones that feel like the speaking character — usually Akarsha — wouldn’t say them, which holds true to the rest of Lei’s dialogue writing. It feels distinctly ninth grade without ever being mocking or trivializing the way everything is so extremely important all the time when you’re a ninth grader.

Part of that strength definitely comes from Lei’s willingness to lean on each character’s archetype and unpack it at the same time; Diya’s physical strength and sheer skill, combined with her reluctance to talk to strangers, could have easily seen her shoehorned into a much more detached character than she’s written as. Instead, she’s thoughtful, expressive, and deeply concerned with the people she cares about, even if she can’t always necessarily communicate that to them very well through her ever-present anxiety. Exactly how their own differences manifest and each of the three other girls’ reasons for being that way are slightly trending into spoiler territory, but I think Diya’s fellow main characters also each have their own similarly-smart tweaks on familiar archetypes that make their joke-filled banter all that much more personalized and memorable.

Although there’s a lot to love about the positive, hilarious moments in the protagonists’ everyday lives, one of the things that I think worked just as well narratively were the scenes that required all those content warnings up there. They're very much going to be a YMMV situation for different players, especially with my own caveat that my relationship to dysfunctional families is coming from white Irish ex-Catholicism rather than those two specific Asian cultures’ values — trying not to give any spoilers about which characters I’m referring to, here! — but in-text, they’re never situations without any future, because we can see that future where the group has each other, and they always have room in the moment to be angry, or upset, or hurt without the narrative itself punishing them for failing to be perfect. Instead, they get to play baseball and fall in love and set off fire alarms, and they do pretty okay.

Butterfly Soup is available now for free, and you can follow Brianna Lei on Itch.io, Twitter, or Tumblr to learn more about her upcoming work.

INVERNESS NIGHTS (MADELEINE)

Itchio Tagline: “Every relationship ends.” Genre(s): Historical fantasy, drama. Release Date: June 30th, 2017. Content Warnings: See Itch.io page.

There are a lot of things about Inverness Nights that worked for me in a way I don’t know that they would have in another visual novel — in particular, Tristram’s character is difficult in ways that pretty directly pertain to some of the content warnings linked above, and I was personally interested in seeing the text unpack that bit by bit. The eventual turn the story takes further on in your playtime, to try and phrase that in a way that isn’t super spoilery, was something I personally didn’t mind taking a little longer to get to.

Curious to hear what its developer Madeleine had to say about the story, their thoughts on character design, and what they’re up to next, I reached out to them for an interview!

IVAN: Thanks for having me, Madeleine! To get this conversation started, how would you sum up Inverness Nights to everyone reading this?

MADELEINE: Inverness Nights is a game about queer isolation and the importance of queer community outside of romantic relationships. Set in 18th c Scotland you play as Tristram Rose, an immortal gay man who has just broken up with his mortal boyfriend, and decide how he’ll cope with the loss as someone unable to tell the world around him that he’s magical and queer.

Sounds spot-on! And definitely a great summary of all the things that made it super appealing — to me, at least, haha. Before anything else, I want to note that it's been just about a year since you released Inverness Nights! Congratulations! How's the experience been, and what particular highlights or lowlights over the past year stand out to you?

It was good actually releasing a game, I enjoyed that part a lot! Aside from that, I really appreciated a couple of thoughtful reviews it got where people connected with it as a game where being queer is difficult, but not bleak. I think that because AAA games love tragic gay stories indie games can sometimes feel they need to be ultra-positive to balance that in the other direction, which is cool, but as someone who likes stories that’re more in-the-middle it was a gap I wanted to fill. There was a good reaction to that, albeit a quiet reaction. It’s a very ‘first game, niche game’ complaint but the lowlight would probably be that not many people played it — however, there are a lot of understandable reasons why it worked out that way so I’m not too hurt overall.

Haha, getting something finished and released is definitely a great feeling; I'm personally really glad you stepped in to fill that niche, as someone who likes things that are honest about their characters' pain without feeling exploitative or endlessly hopeless! In the fantastic (but spoiler-filled) Medium postmortem you wrote on your process, you say that "an important part of marketing visual novels is selling your characters"; the postmortem goes into that in fairly great detail, especially as it pertains to ensemble casts, but would you care to expand upon that observation in the scope of the visual novel genre (and how you're keeping it in mind for future projects) a little bit here?

People make fun of visual novels sometimes for their reliance on archetypes — you know, look up the average dating sim and you can probably tell in an instant who the bad boy is, who the smart girl is, so on — but when you’re selling a character driven game to people, you can’t give away the cast’s backstories and quirks up front or there’s nothing to play for, so you’ve got to find some sort of shorthand to suggest what an audience wants will be there, and that usually comes back to telling them which archetypes you’ve got. When I started Inverness Nights I kind of laughed at that reliance on archetypes and tried to do something different but I learnt the hard way why it’s important. At the moment I’m finishing a game called Catacomb Prince with my didn’t-quite-finish-it-for-a-jam group Skeleteam, and when our character artist Roxy was doing the designs I gave her very broad notes on who the cast were so they’d be more archetypical. Consequently we have a very recognisable cool girl/frat boy/petite NB slate of romance options that people’ve connected with waaay more easily and way faster than anyone did with the IN cast, which I think speaks to why it’s a sound approach.

I definitely agree in the importance of finding a good balance with archetypes; I've had people who've instantly bonded when I invoked "shy genius" or "lovestruck best friend", which ironically has given me a bit more of that freedom in telling their stories more uniquely! Could you shed a little light on what Catacomb Prince is, without too many spoilers, and what your storytelling influences for a visual novel like that have been?

Catacomb Prince is a Gothic comedy; you are Prince Vitali, trashy heir to a fantasy Renaissance kingdom, and you have woken up dead five years after a raging party. Your parents still expect you to inherit the throne despite your new skeletal appearance, but your kingdom’s laws require the King to be married. Find love, find your killer — or die again trying.

It’s mostly inspired by Animamundi: Dark Alchemist, which is an old kitschy BL VN about a guy named Georik taking up alchemy to make a new body for his decapitated (still living) sister while hiding his hobby from his friends. Animamundi has some very gloomy stuff happening but it’s so over-the-top about it that it loops around to being a very funny game, and I wanted more experiences like that in the world, so here we are. There’re also some aspects of other goofy Gothic stories in there, like Hammer Horror movies and EC Comics, though the romance aspect of it means it’s not all rib-ticklers all the time. We took care to make the love interests more than just fodder for jokes and/or horror. They’re complete, kissable people, with flesh and everything.

I am not doing a good job of easing up on the skeleton jokes but please believe me on that last point.

Glad to hear the love interests have skin! Not super fussed about that, personally, but I'm sure some players would have logistical concerns about things like skeleton-on-skeleton kissing. (I'd like to go on the record and say I'm pro-skeleton and extremely pro-skeleton puns, so I'm waiting with bated breath to get to play as your not-breathing protagonist.) Other than what we'll be seeing in Catacomb Prince, what kind of genres and themes are you interested in exploring more of in the future?

After Catacomb Prince I’m going to work on finishing an IF game I started last year called Captain Dracula, about being the last survivor on a submarine after your Captain reveals he’s Dracula. That’s also a comedy. I spent three years making Inverness Nights so taking a breather to make funny games for a while seemed like a good plan, and I’m really into classic horror, so I’ve gravitated in that direction with it. I’ve also got a regular no-pictures no-choices fantasy novel I’m several drafts through at the moment which I’ll hopefully be releasing later this year. Once those’re off my plate, I’m keen to try making either an 80 Days-style narrative travel game or a Clock Tower-style point-and-click horror for a change of pace. I want to do something that’s more about exploring a place; I do academic stuff as well as indie development and all my academic work has been on how we explore places in games, so it feels weird that I haven’t made anything that utilises my research.

It sounds like you've got a lot coming up! I'm looking forward to seeing how you can combine your academic studies with your fiction work, which already have such strong settings of place from the get-go. And last but not least, what LGBTQ visual novels from other developers would you like to recommend?

It's IF rather than a VN but I love Heart of the House by Nissa Campbell, which is a Gothic game about an exorcist trying to remove an evil presence from a Victorian manor house, and maybe also wooing some of its residents. It’s very atmospheric and you can be NB, two things I like a lot. With caveats I’m also really keen on Animamundi (like I mentioned earlier — fun, funny MLM but warning for violent horror elements and sexual abuse), and The House in Fata Morgana (a dark romance about a trans man trying to rescue his girlfriend from a cursed manor, there’s an extensive content warning list on its website). Lastly, on the lighter side, Butterfly Soup and The Duenkhy are both good VNs about queer people making friends :) probably play them when you need to smile after all the grimmer suggestions I’ve made.

Awesome — and thanks again for your time, Madeleine! It was a pleasure.

Inverness Nights is available now for $12 USD, and you can follow Madeleine on Twitter or Itch.io to keep up with all the skeleton romances and Dracula adventures they're setting their sights on next!

Thanks to everyone who read this far! Keep an eye on the Twitter thread or this blog for tomorrow’s post, where I’ll be talking about four more visual novels that I think do some crafty things with their creative design!

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adrielfpwc259 · 4 years

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The Untapped Gold Mine Of Showbox Free Movies That Basically Nobody Finds Out About

20 complimentary as well as just ordinary trendy apps will certainly make your life app-solutely simple

Google Pay (Tez).

The customers can search the app according to the dining establishments, cuisine, food or location. One of the most popular Video gaming app in 2020 enables the customers to control their Xbox one from the application, stay attached to the pc gaming community anytime anywhere, and purchase brand-new games from the shop.

Maps by Google is a total area app with functions like GPS monitoring, address sharing, navigation, real-time web traffic updates, lane guidance, local area search and also more. App development is useful not just for financial functions however also to prolong the reach of a business/website to the mobile individuals. Billions of individuals around the globe are using smart device tools now, and also one definite way to reach those people is creating a mobile app for your company. Mobile apps are just one of the reasons that smart devices are a lot preferred today. These applications are what make your tablet computers and also phones wise, in terms of capability as well as functions.

A severe hack hit WhatsApp. You ought to update your application now.

Utilizing any social media network can be high-risk, yet it's feasible for children to safely utilize the app with grown-up supervision (and an exclusive account). When you register for TikTok, your account is public by default, indicating any individual can see your videos, send you straight messages, and also utilize your location information. Moms and dads must see to it to turn on all personal privacy settings for accounts youngsters are making use of, so just people you understand can communicate with your video clips or message you on the application. This one occurs yearly, but now we have a much better suggestion of Apple's following budget friendly phone.

It has cross-platform assistance so you can use it on computers, smart phones, tablets, or whatever. There are others, but LastPass always feels like it's one action in advance. You can also grab LastPass Authenticator to support it for added security.

Do not stress, you will not showbox apk mobi require the premium variation except in severe cases. Musicolet is an intriguing option for local songs playback. It does every one of the essentials, including playlists, tag editing, organizational attributes, documents browsing, and also embedded lryics (LRC) assistance. You likewise get an equalizer, a rest timer, widgets, lock display controls, Android Vehicle support, and extra.

A lot of the moment the people on there attempt to tackle large problems to spread out recognition, cuddling cats, or cosplay. It resembles enjoying youtube without the dedication of seeing a long video clip, and a brief clip instead. Youtube has some pretty poor things, as well as tik tok does as well.

How do I find the apps on my phone?

However, the iPhone 11 does not come with AirPods. Instead, the iPhone 11 comes with a brand new charger and EarPods with a lightning connector in the box, according to Apple.

Trending Education Apps in 2020

The Google Drive collection are a team of applications that are all directly integrated right into Google Drive. The applications include Google Docs, Google Slides, Google Sheets, Google Photos, and Google Keep along with the actual Google Drive app itself. These applications focus largely on office use for files, spreadsheets, and also slide shows but additionally help note taking, supporting your pictures, as well as keeping whatever file you can think about. The very best part is that they're all complimentary unless you need more than 15GB of storage space on Google Drive. It's an easy keyboard that doesn't have way too many frills.

Apple.

They consist of Google Docs, Google Sheets, Google Slides, Google Photos, Gmail, Google Schedule, and also Google Maintain. Some of the features of these apps consist of live partnership, deep sharing functions, as well as compatibility with Microsoft Workplace documents. Microsoft Workplace has a similar configuration with OneDrive and Office. On your iPhone, open the App Shop app and faucet Updates in the reduced best corner. Faucet Purchased (if you have a household account, you may need to touch My Acquisitions) to see a list of all the applications you've downloaded and install, both on as well as off of your existing device.

It all begin with an excellent suggestion and also a bold, enthusiastic individual or team to adhere to that idea till completion. Don't be also very easy on your item as well as disregard to the vulnerable points.

Your preferred totally free apple iphone apps?

The significant advantage concerning utilizing an app like Feedly is having the ability to bring every one of your interests right into one area as well as review the most up to date news. When you obtain it establish up, it's totally totally free as well as incredibly very easy to use. The application itself is undergoing some huge redesign efforts right now. Those that want to utilize the traditional Feedly can experiment with Feedly Standard in the Google Play Shop.

This is a leading 10 list of the most preferred smartphone apps by number of one-of-a-kind users in the USA as of completion of 2016. All of the mobile phone apps in this checklist are possessed by Google, Facebook, Apple or Amazon.com; every one of these applications are totally free to download. They're terrific locations to discover points like funny GIFs, enjoyable images, little realities, as well as all type of various other amusement objectives.

Is TikTok the most downloaded app?

Subway Surfers Was the Most Downloaded Game of the Decade Success came from many different places as each of the most downloaded games came from a different company. Clash of Clans and Candy Crush Saga stand out as the only 2 apps to appear on both the top apps by downloads and consumer spend lists.

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mto-art · 7 years

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So you want to sell your art?

Here’s some tips you need to consider. I’ll talk about pricing your art, marketing your art and generally the rules you should consider to make sure you and your customers are both happy campers at the end of the day.

This may be a very long post.

1- Pricing your art.

I’ve gone over this before but as an artist you need to take your hours and minimum wage of your country into account. If you’re not sure how to calculate that or whatever I started out going for 10 euros per hour of work I put into drawing a commission. This would price 8 hour pieces at 80 euros. Giving your art a decent price tag will show people that you value your art just as much as they’ll pay for it. The right clientelle is out there and if you meet customers who complain about your prices: Double it. There’s hundreds upon thousands of people out there who’ll try to wring free art out of starting artists because they know starting artists are unsure about their own art. It’s easy to pick on someone who’s been told they’ll never make a living out of their craft. You will make a living out of it if you keep on getting better and if you value your work.

2- Marketing.

-Fanart, fanart is your marketing tool. People don’t care for OC’s unless there is enough content of them already available. If you don’t have a whole book or comic about your OC’s just stick to drawing fanart for marketing.

-Make sure you’re on social media websites but link everything back to the place where people can find you.

-Make your pages and commission sheets as simple as possible. People like to choose but more than 3 options will most likely deter them from picking anything. It’s too much work to go through 400 drawings and decide which one you like. Pick 3 commission options and let people choose from a limited selection.

3- Guidelines for commissions.

Ask what the person wants. Get a feeling for the idea they have in mind and figure out whether that is something you can/want to work on. If the answer is no, don’t take the commission. Yes, I know money is tight but if you take a commission you can’t really do you’ll stress yourself out and you might disappoint your customers.

Set a number of edits. Make sure a customer knows how many edits they can request on a piece. This will make your customer more specific in their requests and will keep you out of eternal editing hell with picky customers.

SET A DEADLINE. Don’t become the artist who vanishes off of the face of the earth after the money is in. I swear to god I will find you and Liam Neeson your ass. People come to pay for your art give them a deadline and do your job.

Use invoices: Stop what you’re doing, start using invoices. Don’t get scammed out of money and don’t get arrested for tax evasion. Just use invoices you lazy bum you can set them up automatically in paypal. (If you don’t use paypal but use invoices elsewhere I’m proud of you ignore this.)

Give some updates. This is optional but if you disappear for a week it might be nice for your customer to know that their art also won’t be worked on for a week. I personally give people the following steps of progress to comment on. Sketching poses: I give 2 poses for the person to pick from based on their description. If neither are interesting they can give a ref and I’ll sketch up a third. After the sketched poses I’ll do linework which they can check once it’s done so they can decide whether or not they want to use an edit. After linework I straight up color and finish a piece. Final check with the customer and it’s donion rings. Feel free to edit any of this but it’s an example in case you had no idea how to start.

4- Never, ever, blame your audience for lack of commissions or money.

Nobody wants to buy wares from the salesman who shouts at people that they’re to blame for his poverty. Adjust your marketing strategy, try new things, change your set up and just keep on drawing. Your audience is not the problem if your rules are clear. You might be trying to sell things in the wrong place but it’s not anyone’s fault that you’re not selling anything.

It’s not too long a read, maybe it is, I don’t really care these tips are free. Feel free to disregard anything I said above this if you have a better way of doing things definitely do it that way but if you had no way of how to start I hope this helps. Last but absolutely key: Respect yourself and respect your customers.

#commissions #random crap.#*shudders* ew a text post

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profitablepractices · 4 years

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How to Get an Affordable Receptionist, Assistant, Bookkeeper, and other Support Staff!

Are you just looking for a reliable receptionist to answer your phone on a "pay by the number of calls answered" basis? Someone who will take messages, answer basic questions from callers about your practice fees, location, insurance, and other simple questions, and then coordinate a callback time so that you don't waste time with phone tag? If yes, you may be better off using this service (click here) than going through the steps below, but totally up to you! Feel free to experiment and find the right solution for your practice!

Many people have asked me how I source, hire, and retain such incredible support staff from the Philippines. So many people have asked that I’ve finally decided to just put it all down into a blog so you can find my “crash course” here anytime you want! You can find excellent receptionists, bookkeepers, personal assistants who can also do basic WordPress updates, general admins, and basically any other type of role you need. Not only is the price low, but I find the culture to be incredible. As an entrepreneur, I have an innate sense of pride and ownership of all the work that happens under my umbrella. I find that Filipinos are generally eager to share in that sense of dedication to working in a high quality, courteous, and reliable manner. Here are my to tips:

Where to find them? There are several websites where you can hire people from the Philippines. Personally, the one linked here is my favorite. I actually purchased the lifetime membership package from this site, which includes lifetime ability to post as many jobs as you want, as well as tons of MP3 files and written literature on how to have a successful experience with your virtual assistant. However, even if you don’t want to start off with that particular level, you can easily place a one-off ad for just a few dollars.

How to attract them? Show off! You may not realize this, but you’re probably a very desirable employer. Place an ad that indicates you’re seeking a full time, long term employee that you’re willing to train, groom, and respect. You may not think you want a full time employee, but I encourage you to consider it because the best Filipino employees tend to want full time; if you hire them part time they’ll probably look elsewhere while they work for you. So, place an ad with a subject line that conveys all this, like “New York City Entrepreneur Seeks Permanent Full Time Assistant” or “Busy USA Person Needs Permanent Support!”. If possible, be even more specific (“New York City Therapist Seeking Friendly and Capable Receptionist!” or “NYC Real Estate Agent Needs Reliable Exec Assistant!” In the body of the ad, reiterate that you’re seeking someone who will stay for years. When you indicate pay, describe a starting salary and indicate how it will rise over a two year period (ie “Pay starts at __ per month, and rises to __ per month over a two year period”). Also mention that they can accrue paid sick time and paid holidays. I have a chart that shows how this is accrued at my company over time; I show it to them during the interview process but I at least mention that they can accrue paid sick time and holidays in the body of my ad. Also mention that you pay the “13th month bonus”. This is the Philippine equivalent of a year-end bonus. It is equivalent to one month’s salary. (Don’t worry! It can be prorated, so that if you hire someone in September you only need to pay a bonus of ⅓ of a month’s salary at year-end.)

How to screen them? You will likely get hundreds of applicants. You’ll need an easy way to screen them. I suggest creating an ad that provides a lot of information about how to apply, and then disregard any applicant who doesn’t follow all of your directions. This is a great starting point to rule out anyone who is unable or unwilling to be detail-oriented. Here are some ideas:

a. In the body of the ad, indicate that you’ll need them to work Monday-Friday 9am-5pm EDT (or whatever your desired schedule is). Ask them to confirm in their application that they’re available for this schedule.

b. In the body of the ad, tell them to use a certain subject line when they apply (ie “FT Assistant for NYC Entrepreneur”).

c. If you’d like someone who can speak English clearly as well as write, indicate it in your ad. To screen for spoken English skills, do the following: In the body of the ad, ask that when they apply they include an MP3 of their own voice reading a sample sentence. This will let you easily screen for how they sound on the phone. Many applicants are great in every way but they just can’t speak English clearly. You don’t want to waste everyone’s time by arranging a Skype interview just to discover this. Listen to MP3s before attempting an interview.

d. Consider requiring applicants to take a short test as part of the application. I use a company linked here that me the percentile ranks for the person’s scores in Math, Verbal, and Spatial domains. It is an easy way to separate applicants. Someone’s verbal skills might seem fine on their application materials because they’ve spent lots of time on their application, and they might do fine in a 1:1 interview where the conversation is very structured, but how quickly can they keep pace with a ton of emails on a busy day? How carefully can they read and track complex conversations? I rely on their Verbal percentile to give me a ballpark. The company also has skills tests for things like bookkeeping and other specialized areas. I’ve known several entrepreneurs who have found it to be a good investment.

e. Ask them to also include a screenshot of their results from a place like Speedtest.net. You need someone who has a strong internet connection with a good speed.

f. Disregard any applicants who don’t follow all of your application directions.

g. Make an alias within your email account like jobs@(your domain) Set your filters so that anything coming to this address will skip your inbox and go into a folder for this (soon, your assistant can handle these types of tasks for you!). This will let you easily review applications on your own schedule without getting pinged every time someone applies.

Related: Money, Honey: How to Get a Good Biller

Interview the applicants who catch your eye and pass your basic starting measures. I use Skype for this. If they can’t show up on time to the Skype interview, I disqualify them. If the interview goes well, I ask them to email me a summary of what we discussed. This helps me check their ability to pay attention, as well as to recognize, retain and convey important points. I tell them at the start of the interview that I may be asking them to do this. I only do this if it’s important that the person has an ability to understand spoken English.

Once you’ve narrowed down to 2-3 really good applicants, tell them the truth: You’ve found 2-3 great applicants and you’re not sure which one to choose. Tell them you feel that part of a good Filipino hire involves not only skills and attitude, but also the ability to show up for work every day in a reliable manner. Many Filipinos live in areas where storms frequently disrupt their ability to be online by cutting off their internet or electricity. You don’t want to spend a week training someone only to find that they actually need to miss work about 2 of every 10 days due to issues like this. So whatever your monthly pay equates in hourly pay (for a 40 hour week, multiply your monthly pay by 12 and then divide the total by 2080 to determine this), tell them you’re taking that hourly pay and adding a dollar to it during this final selection period to show that you appreciate the chance they’re taking by focusing on you for 40 hours per week without a promise of permanent employment.

Give each person the same tasks during your trial period so you can see how they do in terms of speed, accuracy, attitude, and their ability to show up for work in a timely reliable manner. We have several long “busywork” test tasks that can be mundane, but offer good ways to check someone’s ability and willingness to follow directions carefully. If you are trying to select a receptionist, provide them all with the same scripts and then do a conference call where you review the scripts as a group. Record the call so you can have future applicants listen to it if for some reason none of your current applicants works out; or if you want to add an additional person. Next, do 1:1 calls to see who is really mastering the information best. Likewise, whatever tasks are most important for whatever role you’re seeking to fill, make sure you record as much of your training as possible so that it’s easily repeatable if needed in the future. Ask the candidates to type “step by step” directions of whatever you teach them so that you can simultaneously check their learning while also building your training library.

How to structure the actual day to day work? Once you choose an applicant, congratulate them and give them a warm welcome. Tell them that you know the first 30 days are the hardest, so you’ll give them a $100 training bonus when they complete their 30th day on the job, and a $250 Successful Hire Bonus at the 90 day mark. This helps them to stay motivated during what is typically the most stressful period. Tell them to send a daily report of all they did that day, and to indicate which task was the hardest or most time consuming. Also have them send an email of their workplan at the start of each day. I also have them send me a chat in Skype or g-chat at the start of each day, and I let them know that real time communication is essential so I expect an immediate response whenever I chat during working hours. I tell them that if they need to step away from their computer for a moment during the day to please chat me when they leave and when they return; so that I”m not staring at the chat window waiting for a reply if they happen to be away from their desk for a moment.

I also have a checklist of things I want them to do every day (ie check my business Facebook page for any new Likes to posts and invite the liker to Like my page). I make the checklist WAY too long for any one person to do every day; the idea is that I never want them asking me “what do I do now?” when I’m too busy to think of what would be helpful. Do yourself and your assistant a favor by making a long checklist and explaining that you don’t expect it to all be done every day; but that you just want them to have lots of ideas of what to do. Of course, you can highlight certain tasks that actually do need to be done every day. I use Google Sheets and list all the tasks in Column A, and then have the assistant put the date in row 1, and then mark in each cell which tasks were done. I have them indicate more than just an “X” to show it was done; I get specific info (ie “Indicate the number of new post Likers you invited to Like the FB page). Making it specific lets you see how their workflow is moving, and gives them a chance to be recognized for all the work they’re doing. Also have them add a tab to their checklist doc called “Logins”. Anytime they create a login, have them add it. Also have them list any logins there they may need from you. Also have them add a tab called “Docs” where they put links to any docs they are creating for you (ie powerpoint slides etc). This lets you easily keep track of all the “balls in the air” as things get busy.

Another handy tool I have found is Jing, which is an excellent free screencast tool to show what I need done in certain situations that fall outside of a “daily checklist”. Whenever I send a Jing, I always require the person responds with a summary of what my Jing said. This ensures we are “on the same page”, and it gives me a text-searchable way to find/view my original directions in my email if there’s ever a question about the project.

How to pay them? When I’m working with them in the trial period, I just use Paypal or something . Once I actually hire the person, I use this company. There are lots of companies; this one is the best I’ve found in terms of fees and reliability; also a lot of Filipino people are familiar with them so it builds trust. They may want to be paid daily during the trial period since many of them have been scammed by unscrupulous people; so be willing to do this while you’re building trust. Obviously, never pay in advance since you don’t want to be scammed either.

Conclusion

I hope you have found the tips here to be helpful. Just like when you do business with someone in the USA, be prepared that the relationship may not work out. There’s no magical panacea that fixes every issue; but these tips have been helpful for me as well as the myriad people who have asked me over the years. Feel free to let me know if you have other questions; I'm here to help!

#private practice #private therapy practice #private practice tips #management #business management

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seekthemist · 7 years

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Day 1 ~ Something old // Something new // Something borrowed

A.K.A.: That AU where Adam accidently acquires Niall’s leather jacket in a charity shop. (T-Rated)

Written for @pynchweek, flash-betaed by @interropunct. Paging: @cabeswaterlovesthem, @picapicae and @actuallymollyweasley as they asked to be kept updated (I’ll tag whoever asks me, feel free!)

You can also read this on Ao3!

***

The cheerful dangling of the bells above the doorframe matches in a weirdly euphonious way with a string of swear words, more convoluted than Adam has ever heard in his life. He lets the door close behind him and mentally prepares to assess the situation critically.

Two young men stand in front of the cashier counter, and even though Adam knows Blue is on shift today they are both so tall he can't possibly spot her over their shoulders. Adam wouldn't particularly worry about the shortest one — all curly blond hair, fidgety shoulders and a placid aura palpable even without seeing his face — but the one beside him is a different story: dressed completely in black, the guy is built like a brick house, hair buzz-cut and tattooed skin that flexes with nervous tension.

Not reacting with prejudice and distrust when faced with stereotypically threatening features has been the work of years, for Adam, but in this moment he can't really pin the rising scowl on his face to his idiosyncrasies. Not with a wanna-be biker — if not an actual one — swearing like a sailor towards his best friend.

“Sir, please understand that this is a charity shop, and that I’m not emotionally involved in the situation,” the deeply unimpressed voice of said best friend pipes up. “Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn.”

“Wh...what the fuck?” the wanna-be biker stutters, evidently taken aback by Blue’s unique approach to customer service. Or maybe by the Gone with the Wind reference, it’s difficult to tell.

The blond guy snorts out a laugh and the tension is suddenly broken.

When the wanna-be biker turns to face the other man, his profile is unexpectedly young and full of sharp edges smoothened by some degree of embarrassment. “Don’t laugh, shithead, are you pairing up with the enemy?”

“Sure, ‘cause I’m the enemy now,” Blue’s epic eyeroll is almost hearable from her words. “Look, I’ve been really trying to help you, I even gave you back most of the stuff back.”

“And you really can do nothing about the fucking leather jacket?” Wanna-be biker asks, tuning down the swearing for a second.

“I told you, it has been sold already,” Blue sighs deeply.

Adam looks down at himself and at the new-old jacket that Blue had convinced him to buy just yesterday. It’s a sturdy item of well-worn black leather, remarkably preserved for something you can find in a charity shop; it must have cost half a fortune, back in the day, because even now falls elegant — if not a bit too large — around Adam’s shoulders. Suddenly, he is stuck with the possibility that it is still worth a small fortune, in the vintage market, and maybe that’s the reason the wanna-be biker wants it back after having made an ill-advised donation.

“Ronan, I’m sorry, if I hadn’t mixed up the boxes…” the blond guy pipes up, apologetical and distraught in a way that halts Adam’s train of thought in its tracks. The wanna-be biker — Ronan — sighs and shakes his head, “It’s fucking fine, Matthew, I should have left you better labels.” For all his general rudeness, there is a carefulness in his tone that captivates Adam’s attention more than any random eavesdropped conversation should.

He abandons his spot by the door, where all the commotion had made him invisible, and takes a couple of steps forward. “Are we talking about this jacket?”

Both Ronan and Matthew turn on their heel, in complete synch, and whatever moment Ronan had been having gets swallowed by an unapproachable frown. He squares Adam up and down, plush mouth thinning while taking in the jacket. “Yes, exactly that one.”

“Adam!” Blue calls, finally appearing at the counter now that the two guys moved out of the way. She’s dressed with an oversized t-shirt that evidently used to be two different pieces of clothing sewn together and her hair are a madness of fluorescent clips. “I wasn’t expecting you to be back so soon!”

“Well, apparently I came just in time for a jacket crisis,” Adam tries to joke, making his way towards the cashier position.

He gets intercepted by Ronan charging imperiously towards him, wallet flashing in his hands. If he had been tall to see from the other side of the shop, Ronan is even more imposing at this distance, with sharp blue eyes and an impossible jawline highlighted by an obvious gnashing of teeth. There is no way he’s more than a couple of years older than Adam, if any, but the way he flashes his wallet open is reminiscent of many things, but not of a peer.

“I’m gonna need that back,” Ronan states, aggressively. There are more notes than what would be immediately countable, in his wallet, and several shiny credit cards. “So how much do you want? Let’s get this fuckery over with.”

Whatever sympathy Adam had felt from the interaction with Matthew disperses faster than the helium from a popped balloon. He gives Ronan a glacial once-over. “Who says I’m gonna give it back?”

Unabashed anger builds up on Ronan’s face like a wave. “Are you fucking kiddin— “

“Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Matthew interjects, talking over Ronan and almost pushing him out of the way with a vicious elbow in the ribs. It’s a net contrast with his innocent doe eyes and the angelic curls, whose effect is not completely neutralized regardless. “Ronan didn’t mean to be rude — even though he is. It’s my fault, I gave away the wrong box and now you’ve got our father’s jacket…”

“Matthew, that’s none of his business!” Ronan snarls, but none of the violence his posture oozes is directed towards him.

“Well, if we want the jacket back maybe he wants to know way, no?” Matthew replies, between air-headed oversharing and candid logic.

Witnessing the scene, Adam is stuck with the sudden realization that they are brothers, even though they look as different as day and night. He shouldn’t like other people’s stories and random displays of personality traits as much as he does, but it still serve to quench some of his annoyance over the money business.

“Still don’t want your money,” Adam stresses, the words more familiar in his mouth than he would like them to be. He crosses his arms, and he can see both brothers eyes tracking the movement of his hands over the old — familiar — leather. “This is a charity shop, you know? Taking back your stuff is already a mess.”

Blue, some feet away, does nothing to defuse Adam’s statement and even nods emphatically at the concept.

Ronan’s expression gets even darker and Adam’s blood soars in his vein, with something more complicated than the adrenaline before a fight. This guy really irks him in all the possible ways.

“So what the hell do you want? Because I still want the fucking jacket back,” Ronan counters, piercing two holes through Adam with his eyes. When Adam doesn’t cower and just stares back, unblinking, the line of Ronan’s plush lips gets even tighter.

“Then…” Adam starts, the tension between them almost palpable like pinpricks on his skin, making him reckless, “...there might be something you can make yourself fucking useful with.”

***

Collaborating to an experimental research on neurology and cognitive resilience isn’t a regretful experience, academically speaking, but it has proven more frustrating than Adam would have thought when he joined it. The participants is on voluntary basis and there is no compensation for the time spent on their tasks and tests, so it would be unfair to resent undergraduates already burdened with jobs for bailing out. It is less unfair to resent the other type of undergraduates — the one that are evidently well-off and for whom the burden of student debt doesn’t exist at all — for looking Adam and the study outline with obvious disregard before binning it. Considering the effort that he put in this whole ordeal, spending weeks trying to find the last person necessary to have a statistically relevant pool has been the proverbial cherry on top.

All things considered, no one should really blame him for bending the ethics a bit and “gently coaxing” Ronan — Ronan Niall Lynch, 24, born in Henrietta, resident in Henrietta — to take part. Having the leather jacket back was more than everyone else was getting, after all.

At the beginning, Ronan sits in sulking silence performing tasks on a tablet with the programs set up for the research. They rarely speak, as Ronan is still somehow convinced he’s being psychoanalysed even though they are meeting in a quiet coffee shop that doesn’t resemble an office at all. Adam drinks enough coffee for the both of them, Ronan sticks to sparkling water.

“I sleep like shit,” Ronan admits, some days in, “I can’t drink coffee.”

“Why not try some not caffeinated tea, then?” Adam suggests, looking up from some of the reports he’s correcting as a TA.

Ronan makes a weird face that it’s not exactly disgust. “I asked, but they only have peppermint.”

Adam can’t refrain from storting. “Why are you so outraged by peppermint?”

“Jesus Christ,” Ronan passes a hand on his buzzed-cut scalp and looks away from Adam. “You would be as well if you knew someone that is constantly munching on it. And I do, okay?”

That’s how Adam learned about Richard “Dick” Gansey, that at some indefinite point in their lives must have been a roommate for the unapproachable guy that Ronan is. Somehow, that opens more tentative — sometimes half-baked — conversations, that leave Adam wondering if Gansey is more Ronan’s teenage crush or his found brother.

***

By the end of the week, Ronan had completed all the task with their developed app. He insisted that he would be shit in all of them and screw up Adam’s dataset, but, alone in his house at night and tabulating his results, Adam found himself staring at some weirdly creative, surprisingly emotional responses to seemly inane tasks.

The upside is of course that in the meantime he managed to convince Ronan that no, he’s not a shrink, as I’ve been telling you for the beginning. At last, they manage to start the questionnaires. It’s from those that Adam learns that Ronan left school before graduating high-school, because Matthew’s memory problems can be a bit more serious than just mixing up a box and the third Lynch brother — Declan, more commonly known as “that asshole” — was already doing to well in university to make it worth leaving.

“I’ve always been shit as school, after all, I was already more out than in,” Ronan says, the word school pronounced with such obvious disregard it sounds like it personally offends him.

At that point, Adam feels weirdly compelled to tell him that he can’t really sympathize, considering how much school saved his life — between free meals, properly heated rooms, time away from home, scholarships, a way out. Ronan looks at him intently, as if hearing more than Adam is actually saying, and Adam’s skin prickles, again.

There were no Mr and Mrs Lynch, their only obvious leftover the impressive amount of money that always fill Ronan’s wallet. Adam feels a pang of guilt in his chest about how easily he keeps holding the leather jacket at stake for this whole ordeal.

A better man would call it quits now and give the memorabilia back. Adam, that always tries to be the best version of himself and never latched on stereotypical traits to follow, does not. Whatever Ronan was expecting from him, it might not be this; weirdly, he seems to prefer it.

“Do you speak any other languages?” Adam asks, going through the second folder of questions at the end of the second week.

“Does latin count?”

Adam raises his eyes with a pointed expression, “What did I say about bullshitting the answers to this stuff?”

“I’m not bullshitting, I’m serious! Does it count?” Ronan insists, too earnest for the prank of a moment. He doesn’t, Adam found, tend to lie.

“Are you seriously telling me you’re fluent in latin?” Adam looks at him, still not writing anything down.

Ronan shrugs, in all his bulky threatening wanna-be biker glory. “Fronti nulla fides?”

Adam, with his years as a scholarship student, can’t help but laugh at hearing Juvenal quoted in a pondering, conversational tone. Ronan, for the first time in two weeks, smiles broadly and without sharp edges. It’s weirdly difficult to look at him like this, so Adam just writes the answer down.

***

On Monday, inexplicably, Ronan decides to pick Adam up from the campus, since he was apparently on his way over before their coffee shop meeting. Apparently, he is not a biker, not even a wanna-be one, and actively distrusts motorcycles with all his heart. The irony is not lost to Adam, especially in the moment Ronan starts driving and he looked every inch a racer.

“I kind of used to do that, in high school, you know,” Ronan says, nonchalant, and Adam finds himself losing it again.

While looking around the BMW — honestly impressive, well-kept but with a general clutter that Adam intimately defines very Ronan before quickly shutting that same thought off — Adam spots a pack of beef strips, a happy dog lolling his tongue on the package.

“Honestly, you don’t look like a dog person,” he considers, looking up at Ronan.

“What the fuck are you talking about now, Parrish?” Ronan clips out, rude as usual but not really aggressive. He follows Adam’s gaze down towards the small pockets close to the sticks, and snorts. “That’s not for a dog. That’s for my raven.”

“Your what, now?”

“A raven, Parrish. Black, sleek, they stare a whole fucking lot and they caw?”

“I know what a raven is, Lynch, but are you telling me you’ve got one?” Disbelief paints every one of Adam’s words once again.

“Her name is Chainsaw,” Ronan replies, matter-of-factly. It’s such a Ronan thing, once again, that Adam can only laugh, chin tilting upwards. He can feel Ronan’s eyes following him, even though he’s supposed to look at the road. “I don’t have pictures, ask Matthew. And don’t try to pretend you don’t have his number, I know he gives it to basically everyone.”

Adam snickers, head turning against the headrest. He catches Ronan’s eyes and, uncharacteristically, Ronan holds his gaze, with a little lopsided smile, until the traffic light flashes green again.

***

“You want to be a farmer?”

“Shut the fuck up, Parrish! The Barns — the family house, I mean — it’s basically a farm already!”

“Do you even know what farming entails?”

“I grew up surrounded by cows, for fuck’s sake, drop the distrusting tone.”

“Surrounded by — Jesus. You’re unbelievable, Lynch.”

“Yeah, you’re an asshole as well, Parrish.”

***

It takes them a whole month, at the end, to go through Adam’s folder of questionnaires, mostly because Adam catches himself slowing down on the pace, chatting about unrelated stuff anytime Ronan feels like talking and letting himself be dragged into other activities when Ronan just feels like showing him something.

On the very last day, he closes his folder with a definitive sigh, just as the coffee shop is starting to close.

“Okay, this is it. Thank you for your time, Lynch, I hope I wasn’t too similar to a shrink,” Adam says, looking at the cars passing by and without looking at Ronan, who stands in front of him on the pavement outside the shop. In the corner of his eyes, he can see Ronan fidgeting with the leather bands on his wrist, probably fighting hard not to bring them to his mouth. When no answer comes, he sighs again, and starts to take the leather jacket off.

He doesn’t know why he put him on in the first place, while going out. It’s stupid, and impractical, and he just ends up fighting with his backpack full of notes to free his shoulders.

Ronan’s hands enter his personal space suddenly, grasping at the two sides of the open jacket. He is impossibly close to Adam, like this, looming from almost five inches above. In the artificial lights and shadows cast by the streetlights, the look in his eyes is weirder than Adam dares to address.

“Jesus, Lynch,” he murmurs, trying for levity. “Give me a second, I’m giving it back. A deal is a deal.”

The grip on the leather intensifies, Adam can feel the pull from under his armpits.

“You could borrow it,” Ronan clips out, through gritted teeth. It’s difficult not to look at him, now.

“I could what?” Adam murmurs, the back of his mind whispering treacherous ideas for this moment, even while his rationality refuses to jump to conclusions.

“Borrow it. We keep meeting, you keep the jacket.” Trust Ronan to be able to be aggressive regardless of the content of his words.

“You want to keep meeting,” Adam repeats, lacking eloquence and feeling strange in his stomach. He wants to raise his hands, maybe meet Ronan halfway, but somehow he can’t.

“Are you having a doctor-patient good-fucking-practice breach, Parrish?”

Ronan’s tone sounds like he’s steeling himself for rejection and the grip of his hands is loosening, slowly. Abruptly, Adam finds that he can’t stand it. He takes half a step forwards, right into Ronan’s arms. For all the rigorous logic Adam has built the foundations of his life on, he can’t talk it over, now, he can’t calm the queasiness in his stomach. He can just lean forward, and kiss Ronan.

It’s nothing like what he expected and everything like what he should have guessed at the same time.

Ronan jumps under the contact and doesn’t avoid it even though he must have seen it coming. His lips stay uncertain for a second and then he exhale softly, tilting his head to the side to make the kiss more solid, still testing the waters. It’s as careful as every sideways glance he has ever reserved to Adam, and Adam himself can’t stand it.

He opens his mouth and licks over Ronan’s lips — because he has to, because he watched them in all their tilts and quirks and still doesn’t know what they taste like.

Ronan’s breath jumps again, but he opens his mouth nonetheless, dragging Adam close by the jacket again. Whatever nervousness Adam was still harbouring dissolves in a weird spark of lights under his closed eyelids while the kiss turns wet, deep. Where Adam is methodic, exploring, Ronan is a wild aimless chase for an undefined something. The net result is weirdly matched kiss that clicks perfectly with that unplaceable itch that Ronan provokes with his sole existent. It feels better than any first kiss between two almost-strangers has the right to be.

An ambulance passes by, loud, obnoxious and everything they need to remember where they are.

Adam leans back, but the world is weirdly hyperfocused on Ronan’s face nonetheless, when he opens his eyes. Ronan smiles and bends down after him, pressing their forehead together. It’s an unseemingly soft smile, and Adam is stuck with the realization of how many private Ronan Lynch’s expression he can’t even imagine yet.

He catches himself smiling back, while saying the only thing he could possibly say, now.

“Yeah...Yeah, I’ll borrow it.”

#The Raven Cycle #Pynch #My Writing #Pynchweek17 #Something old something new something borrowed #Alternative Universe

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