#Sam was giving mom vibes okay

[fleckjayky]

#critical role sick day #Veth and caduceus having tea time #In outfits from sick day stream cuz why not #Sam was giving mom vibes okay #critical role #critical role fanart #campaign 2 #mighty nein #the mighty nein #caduceus clay #veth brenatto #cr sick day

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Blurbs: With A Little Help From My Friends

————————————————————————-

Summary: You and a few other WAGs do a prank on your boys by buying them all matching shirts for a get-together without them knowing.

Warnings: Fluff, unserious/funny, pranks

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine Universe: Into The Mystic

————————————————————————-

January 20, 2024 - *36 weeks pregnant*

“Joe, I have your outfit laid out on the island in the closet.” - you

Joe’s head snapped away from the TV and over in my direction. I'd just walked into the kitchen from getting ready upstairs. Joe sat on the couch watching The Office reruns, all cuddled up with Tyson and Miles - looking adorable.

“What? I can pick my outfit out.” - Joe

“I know, but I ordered you a new shirt that I'd like you to wear.” - you

“Oh, okay. What is it?” - Joe

“A flannel.” - you

“Mmm, okay.” - Joe

A few moments later, I sat down on the couch with my boys, but Joe left just a minute later to get ready himself.

Robin and Jimmy were coming in a bit to watch the twins while Joe and I went over to Sam’s for a get-together with some of his teammates.

The guys had no idea, though, that the WAG’s group chat had been super active the past week leading up to tonight.

A prank was to ensue, and it was that we'd all secretly ordered the same shirt for our men. We'd all show up one by one, and the guy’s reactions to matching would be hilarious.

Plus, Joe would look hot as hell in a flannel.

Half an Office episode later, Joe came bounding down the stairs. The greyish flannel looked amazing on him, giving off major dad vibes, paired with regular-fitting blue jeans that had been sitting untouched in the closet since I'd ordered them.

I let out a teasing whistle, Joe blushing at the cat-call.

“You like?” - Joe

“Yes. You look amazing, Joey. Do a little spin for me?” - you

Joe happily obliged before searching for approval in my facial expression.

“Love it. I need to start sneaking more of this style into your side of the closet.” - you

“Is that style ‘I have two kids and another on the way’?” - Joe

“Bingo. I told you, you're a DILF.” - you

“You love to remind me of that.” - Joe

“Because it's true.” - you grinned

——

There was a ring of the doorbell, and I went to stand up from the couch, but Joe ushered me to sit back down.

“Hey Mom, hey Dad. Thanks for watching the boys.” - Joe

“Oh, of course!” - Robin

Robin and Jimmy had barely made it into the house before they were ambushed by Tyson and Miles.

They happily hugged their grandbabies, and Jimmy picked up Miles in his arms.

“Where's your wife, Joseph Lee?” - Robin

“On the couch, she went to open the door, but I waved her off.” - Joe

Robin gave her son a proud nod, grateful that he was treating his pregnant wife as he should.

The five of them eventually walked back into the living room, and Joe plopped back onto the couch next to me, putting his arm around me on the back of the couch.

“You look great, y/n!” - Robin

“Aww, thank you. I'm feeling great as well. Baby girl is treating my bladder a lot better than the twins did.” - you laughed

“That's good! I love your dress, makes your bump pop.” - Robin grinned

“Joe actually picked it out.” - you

I put a hand on Joe’s chest and smiled up at him, a glint in his eye when he returned the soft grin.

“Wow, I would’ve never expected that.” - Robin

Laughing, I understood where she was coming from. My dress was a solid black, nothing like anything in Joe’s side of the closet.

“I picked his outfit out, though.” - you smiled

“That was my next question! That style looks good on you, Joey. You look very adult.” - Robin

“Thank you? I think.” - Joe

“It was meant to be a compliment. I think so, at least…” - Jimmy

A few seconds of laughter went by before Joe patted my thigh and spoke up.

“Ready to go, babe?” - Joe

“Sure!” - you

Joe stood up before turning around to me and putting a hand out to help me up.

Once I was on my feet, Joe let go of one of my hands but still held the other.

“We’ll be back later!” - Joe

He led me over to the garage door of the house and grabbed his keys to the Porsche off of the hook.

Sweetly, Joe walked me over to the passenger side of the car and opened my door for me, along with helping me sit down before shutting the door back.

“Whatcha wanna listen to?” - Joe

Joe always joked about my passenger princess ways, but here he was, offering me to pick the music before I even asked.

In the end, I pulled up my Spotify playlist “’60s-’70s Love Songs” and shuffled it.

Looking over at Joe as he backed out of the driveway, I giggled as he playfully rolled his eyes with a smile on his face at my music selection.

For dramatic effect, I grabbed onto Joe’s shoulder and sang Be My Baby by The Ronettes into my hand like I was holding a microphone.

“You're crazy.” - Joe laughed

“But you love me.” - you

“That I do, my baby.” - Joe

——

I had my arm looped with Joe’s as we stood on Sam’s front porch. Joe had just rung the doorbell and now we're waiting for an answer.

Squeezing his bicep lightly, Joe’s eyes darted to me.

“You okay, Mama?” - Joe

“Mhm. Just love you in this shirt.” - you grinned

Just a few seconds later, the front door swung open, revealing Sam.

“Hey, Burrow’s! Woah- what the hell? Joe, are we matching?” - Sam

I giggled to myself as Joe and Sam looked down at their flannels and then at each other.

“That's weird man, but I def wore it better.” - Joe

Sam rolled his eyes before stepping to the side to let Joe and me inside the house.

I immediately greeted Jess, who complimented my pregnancy glow, and while we were deep into conversation, the doorbell rang again.

When Sam opened the door, Jess and I exchanged knowing looks at each other.

On the front porch, Cody Ford and Evan McPherson were laughing about the fact they had matching shirts on while Tianna and Gracie stood to the side laughing.

“What the hell!” - Sam

“You guys have it too?!” - Evan

Joe was full-on cackling, and I couldn't help but mirror my husband.

The girls walked over and sat next to me and Jess, our boys all pointing at each other’s shirts while laughing.

Thirty minutes later, over ten more guys had shown up, all in the same flannel, and Joe and his guys found it hilarious each time.

The girls and I all sat in a corner of the living room, recording and laughing at the reactions coming out of the guys.

They really were adult toddlers, but that's what makes being married to one fun.

After dinner, Joe found me by myself in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me from behind. At first, I couldn't tell who it was because all the guys here had the same long-sleeved shirt on, and all I could see were the person's arms.

The thought didn't last too long when I saw the wedding ring on the person’s finger that was too unique to be anyone other than Joe.

“Hi, Mama.” - Joe

“Hi, Joey.” - you

“Can I ask you a question?” - Joe

“Of course.” - you

With Joe’s hands on my bump, I covered them with my own and let my head fall back onto his chest/shoulder.

“Who wore the shirt best?” - Joe

“I'm kinda biased, but you, for sure.” - you

“Yeah?” - Joe

“Mhm, I'm gonna start sneaking more flannels into your closet.” - you

“I'll wear ‘em if they get a good reaction out of you.” - Joe

“Oh, you know they will.” - you giggled

I turned around in Joe’s arms and looked into his gorgeous blue eyes, my hands on his chest.

Slowly, Joe leaned in and pressed his lips onto mine.

A minute later, we were still kissing. The craving for each other was never satisfied, but we were interrupted by a loud, fake, gagging sound.

“For the love of god, she's already pregnant! You guys are disgusting!” - Ja’Marr

I leaned my head onto Joe’s chest with a giggle as he glared at one of his best friends.

“Ja’Marr, get the fuck away!” - Joe

Ja’Marr threw his arms up in surrender before walking out of the kitchen. Joe turned back to me with a sly grin on his face.

“Sorry, Mrs. Burrow. Where were we?” - Joe

I’d never get tired of him calling me that.

“Mmm, I think we might've been kissing.” - you

“Let's test that theory.” - Joe

Just as Joe was leaning in, our lips brushed together, but something made him pull back.

“Y'all nasty!” - Ja’Marry whisper yelled

“Ja’Marr!!” - Joe yelled

Sure, they got annoying sometimes, but deep down, Joe knew he wouldn't get by without a little help from his friends. Even if said help was unwanted.

————————————————————————-

Authors note: y'all, I ground out a fic for you guys. 💀

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joey b #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow fan fic

[tigertales9]

Déjà vu

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: 18+ / Smut

Description: Joe's calf injury at the start of training camp gives you a sense of déjà vu

Time/Place: July 27, 2023 / Cincinnati, Ohio

A/N: Took me a minute to write something about the injury b/c I needed to know he was okay first. Let's continue to manifest good vibes for him, y'all 🙌

Here's the follow-up - Déjà vu II

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You step off the treadmill in your home gym as it slows to a stop, grabbing your water bottle and guzzling half of it before dropping onto the floor to do some stretching; you're most of the way through your cool-down routine when your phone rings. You hop up and grab it, your brow furrowing when you see who's calling.

"Hey Sam," you greet. "What's up?"

"Hey Y/n," he mumbles. "Listen, I have something to tell you, but I don't want you to panic."

"What's going on?" you sputter. "Is it Joe?"

"Yeah, he tweaked his calf in practice today. I guess you haven't seen the video yet?"

You feel like you've been punched in the gut as you quickly sit on the weight bench. "I haven't seen the video," you whisper. "How bad is it?"

"We don't know yet. He's in the training room right now with the trainers and team docs. They'll have to do some imaging to determine the severity, but it seems like it's not crazy bad."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, he'll prob miss camp, but there's a chance he'll be ready for the season."

You feel silent tears start rolling down your cheeks; you take a deep breath before responding. "Why does this keep happening to him?"

"I don't know," Sam sighs. "He sure as hell doesn't deserve it, but he's strong as hell. He'll get through this like he always does."

"Thanks for calling me," you sniff, trying to fight back the tears before they can take over.

"You're welcome. Joe asked me to call so you wouldn't see the damn video and panic. He'll call you as soon as he gets a chance."

"I appreciate it, Sam."

You set your phone down and stare at your feet for a second, watching your tears drop onto the floor before angrily swiping them away. You take several deep breaths to get your emotions under control before grabbing your phone and doing a search for 'Joe Burrow injury'. You feel a wave of nausea as you watch him pull up and hop several steps before hitting the ground in a somewhat controlled collapse; you rewind and watch it several times trying to figure out what happened, your heart sinking every time as he plops onto the cart to be whisked away.

You eventually stand up and head for the stairs, wanting to hurry up and shower before Joe calls. You turn your face up into the stream of warm water cascading from the shower head, your hot tears joining the moisture streaming down your face. "Fucking déjà vu," you mumble, quickly scrubbing yourself clean before drying off and pulling on a pair of panties and one of Joe's t-shirts that hits you mid-thigh.

Once back downstairs you're a ball of nervous energy, not knowing what you should do; you consider your options for a minute before pouring a glass of rosé and taking a couple of hearty gulps as you grab your phone. You call Joe's mom to let her know the news, both of you getting emotional before pulling it together. You promise to keep her updated before ending the call.

You take a couple more sips of the cold wine as you look around the kitchen. "I gotta do something. I need a distraction," you mutter, opening the pantry to check ingredients. "No pumpkin puree," you sigh, crossing pumpkin pie off the list of options for distraction baking. You continue to rummage until you settle on brownies. "They can't be plain brownies, though," you mumble under your breath, frantically digging in every corner of your pantry for something to add to make them special. "I don't have shit!" you wail, dropping to your knees in the kitchen floor and crying for several minutes until inspiration hits.

You immediately peel yourself off the floor and run to the candy jar, your bloodshot eyes lighting up at the sight of several Reese's peanut butter cups. "Fuck yes!" you shriek, catching sight of your reflection in the kitchen window. "Simmer down," you whisper to yourself, a little appalled at how unhinged you look. "You're making brownies not negotiating world peace."

You stay just a little on edge as you whip up a batch of brownies, chopping the peanut butter cups and folding them into the decadent batter, popping them in the oven just as your phone rings. You snatch it up, your pulse pounding when you see it's Joe calling.

"Are you okay?" you blurt, your voice giving away every single fear coursing through you.

"I'm fine, baby," he soothes. "Sorry I couldn't call you sooner."

"How bad is it?"

"They're not sure. It's maybe a grade 1 or 2 strain. They'll need to do more imaging to know. I'm gonna be fine, though." The silence stretches out for a few seconds before he speaks up again. "You okay?"

"Yeah," you lie. "What sounds good for dinner?"

"I've had a couple protein bars so maybe just a sandwich? Do we have some of that pasta salad left?"

"Yeah. How about a club sandwich and pasta salad?" you ask, not mentioning the brownies.

"Sounds great, I'll be home by 8:00."

"Love you," you whisper, biting your lip hard to keep from crying.

"Love you, too."

You send a text to Joe's mom to give her a quick update before checking on the brownies, the delicious smell that hits you as you crack the oven open putting the tiniest smile on your face. You drum your fingers against the quartz countertop as you countdown the minutes until the brownies are done. "Gotta do something else," you mutter, eventually deciding to make a salted caramel sauce to drizzle over the brownies.

Twenty-five minutes later you hear the garage door open; you throw your caramel-coated whisk down on the spoon rest and hurry to greet Joe, tears welling in your eyes when you see him limping a bit. "It's bad, isn't it?" you whisper, wrapping him in a tight hug as tears start streaming down your cheeks. "It's not that bad," he promises, wrapping his arms around you and leaning down to drop a kiss on your head. He smiles as you look up at him. "It's déjà vu though, right?" he continues, his gorgeous smile breaking your heart a little. "Yeah," you mutter. "It could've been way worse," he states. "I dodged a bullet."

One thing about Joe is that he refuses to feel sorry for himself; no matter how many times he suffers a setback, his positive attitude and mental toughness stay fully intact. It's one of the "intangibles" that the talking heads constantly refer to when singing his praises.

You think back to his devastating knee injury his rookie season in the NFL; you'd been absolutely distraught when it happened, locking yourself in the bathroom and crying in the shower so you wouldn't burden him with your sadness. After a few days of this he finally sat you down and opened up to you. You close your eyes as you remember the conversation …

"I know we haven't really talked about the injury," Joe said, "everything's been kinda crazy since it happened." You nodded your head and looked at your feet as he continued. "Listen, I'm super lucky this is just a season-ending injury and not career-ending. Football is a brutal sport; guys go down all the time with horrible injuries."

"But why did it have to be you?"

"Why not me?" he asked, wiping the tears off your cheeks. "I'm not special."

"You're special to me," you sniffed, your bottom lip trembling as you tried not to cry harder. He pressed a quick kiss on your lips before responding. "I know I'm special to you, baby, but the game doesn't play favorites. It's a setback for real," he continued, giving you a reassuring smile, "but I'm gonna come back better than ever, okay? I promise."

And he did come back better than ever, you think with a smile. He rehabbed the knee like a man possessed to be ready for week one, then went on to win Comeback Player of the Year after taking his team all the way to the Super Bowl wearing a gigantic knee brace. To say you were proud of him would be the understatement of the century.

"What are you thinking?" he asks, pulling you back to the present.

"Déjà vu … like you said" you answer. "The damn knee, the damn appendix and now this."

"At least the injuries are getting less serious," he grins. "Maybe next year it'll be a hangnail." You smile against his lips as he kisses you. "Do I smell brownies," he asks, lifting his head to sniff the air. "Yes," you giggle, following him as he gingerly walks into the kitchen, his eyes going wide when he sees the pan of brownies. "Should I just get a spoon and dig in?" he asks, hovering his face about an inch above the gooey confections while inhaling their aroma. "No, sir," you scold. "You need to have your dinner before dessert."

He turns around and hits you with a pouty look so powerful it could probably bring about world peace. "Just one before dinner?" he pleads, batting his long lashes when you roll your eyes. "Has anyone ever said no to this face?" you ask, pinching a cheek while he grins. "No, ma'am," he answers. "And I'm not about to start now," you admit, quickly cutting him a brownie and drizzling caramel sauce over it. He takes a bite, his eyes rolling back in his head as he chews. "Delicious! What's in it?" he asks after swallowing, taking an even bigger bite as you answer. "Peanut butter cups."

"Oh my God," he mutters, taking another bite. "This is my new fav."

"Glad you like it. Now, what do we need to do about that calf?"

"Oh yeah, we need to ice it -- 20 minutes on and off for the first 48 hours -- plus compression, elevation and over-the-counter pain meds as needed."

"Okay, let's go," you state, shooing him toward the living room; you get him settled on the sofa and pull the ottoman over, placing a pillow on top before helping him situate his leg on it. "Be right back with an ice pack," you say before heading for the kitchen. You come back a few minutes later and place the ice pack under his sore calf -- which is still sporting the black compression sleeve -- watching his face for signs of discomfort. "You want some ibuprofen?" you ask. "Nah. It doesn't hurt that bad."

"Good. I'm gonna go get your dinner ready." You take a couple steps toward the kitchen before spinning back around. "Have you called your mom?"

"I texted her."

"You need to call her, Joe. She won't relax until she hears your voice."

He cuts his eyes at you as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. "No wonder she likes you more than me," he grumbles, laughing when you flip him off.

~ ~ ~ a few days later ~ ~ ~

You squirt a hearty dab of toothpaste onto your brush and go to town on your teeth, trying to scour away all of the spicy, garlicky goodness from your cajun fettuccine dinner; you cut a glance over at Joe as you watch him do the same, both of you spitting, rinsing and gargling with mouthwash at the same time. "If synchronized gargling was an Olympic sport," he chuckles. "We'd def win gold." You smile at him as you reach for your moisturizer, your eyebrows heading for your hairline when he gives you a naughty wink before exiting the bathroom. You quickly finish your skincare regimen, cutting the bathroom light off before walking into the bedroom.

Joe is sprawled on the bed butt naked, the look on his face speaking volumes as you approach. "I know you wanted to be super careful with my leg, but it's feeling much better now. It's been forever since we had sex," he pouts.

"It's been a few days, horndog," you chuckle, your gaze raking over his beautiful body as he continues to plead his case.

"I lifted weights with the guys earlier today and it was just fine."

"But that was upper body," you state. "Sex is gonna be more lower body. We shouldn't risk it."

"Just get on top and do all the work," he orders, giving you a filthy grin.

"Boy, please," you chuckle. "Anytime I'm on top it feels like I'm riding a bucking bronco at the rodeo. No way you can be still."

"Mmmm, that reminds me. You still have that cowboy hat?"

"Yeah."

"Remember when I positioned that armchair in front of the full-length mirror?" he nods at one of the plush armchairs in the sitting area of your master bedroom.

"Mmm-hmm," you mutter, biting your lip as the erotic memory floods your senses : you -- wearing only a black cowboy hat and a sultry smile -- sitting reverse cowgirl on Joe's lap facing the mirror, your legs spread wide to accommodate his thick thighs. He made you cum twice playing with your nipples and clit, dipping his long fingers inside your aching core just enough to make you beg for more before pulling back and teasing you, his usually pale eyes dark with lust as he watched you in the mirror.

A jolt of heat sizzles through you when you remember how turned on you were at the sight of his big hands pleasuring you, at the feel of his lips and tongue on your sensitive neck. And that was just the appetizer. The main course was him slowly impaling you on his thick cock, his husky voice in your ear sending shockwaves of pleasure down your spine as you started to ride him -- slowly at first then gaining speed -- your and his eyes both glued to the sight of your bouncing breasts and the even more erotic sight of his glistening cock disappearing inside you. His hands on your waist as your third climax hit helped keep the rhythm steady as you came apart, throwing your head back and moaning his name as he continued to thrust into you, his own climax hitting a few heartbeats later. When you finally managed to catch your breath, you lifted your head and locked eyes with him in the mirror, giving a bemused chuckle at the fact that he somehow ended up wearing the cowboy hat plus a very cocky grin.

Joe loudly clearing his throat pulls you back from memory lane; you focus your gaze on him, noting he's wearing the same cocky grin from your fevered imaginings sans cowboy hat.

"You were thinking about it, weren't you?" he asks, his voice loaded with that husky tone that always makes your toes curl.

"Yeah," you admit, flicking a glance down at his erection. "Looks like I wasn't the only one." -- If there's anything in the universe hotter than this man butt naked and fully erect, you haven't seen it. You give him a slow once-over, a twinge of unease hitting you as you look at the therapeutic compression sleeve on his calf.

"Don't overthink it," Joe orders, easily reading you.

You shift your gaze from Joe's calf to his face. "What if I hurt you?"

"You're not gonna hurt me, baby," he soothes. "Besides," he continues, gesturing at his erection. "We can't turn back now. One of us is gonna have to handle this, and I'm really hoping it's you."

You give a nod before stripping your t-shirt off and crawling between his legs, being super careful to avoid his hurt calf as you get settled. You flatten your tongue against his shaft and work your way up, tracing a prominent vein all the way to the tip before swirling your tongue over his plum-shaped head, sucking lightly as he fists his hands in your hair and … aggressively thrusts his hips up. "Don't move!" you order, throwing a glance over your shoulder at his hurt leg before getting back to work. This same scenario plays out a few more times before you sit back on your heels, spit and precum coating your chin and a pissed-off look on your face.

"I'm moving my hips not my leg," he argues. "If you were watching it happen you'd realize that." You give him a skeptical look as he makes a hand gesture. "Flip around," he urges. "Then you can look directly at my leg."

"Flip around?"

"Sixty-nine," he states.

You narrow your eyes at him. "You just want me to sit on your face."

"Well duh," he chuckles, "but you'll be able to look directly at my calf instead of whiplashing your head around when I make the tiniest movements."

You chew on your lip for a minute before sliding your panties off, your already throbbing core approaching nuclear meltdown as Joe licks his lips in anticipation; you sling a leg over his waist intending to gently work your way back, a surprised squeal escaping your lips when he grabs your hips and tugs you toward his face, his tongue immediately buried in your slit as you try to regain your balance. "Careful," you breathe, giving one last look at his injured calf before taking him deep, your whimpers and moans tickling his cock in a way that has him cumming well before you, his big hands holding you in place as he continues to pleasure you until you follow him over the edge.

You roll off of Joe (away from the bad leg) and stare at the ceiling, gasping for breath for several minutes before speaking up. "Is your leg okay?"

"It's fine, babe," he pants, reaching a hand out to pat your leg.

You eventually ease off the bed and head to the bathroom, cleaning yourself up before bringing a damp cloth out to clean Joe up, snuggling against him when you're done.

Several minutes pass with only the sound of the ceiling fan before Joe speaks up. "Sooo, as soon as my calf is fully healed, I think we need to do the whole armchair, mirror, cowboy hat thing again."

"I agree," you whisper, pressing a kiss on his chest.

"At least that gives me something to look forward to," he muses.

You lift your head up and lock eyes with him. "Getting back on the football field is something to look forward to, right?"

"Sure," he admits. "But it's def not as exciting as watching you ride me reverse cowgirl in a mirror."

"Yee-haw," you chuckle, pressing another kiss on his chest before snuggling against him, smiling to yourself as he pulls you close.

#joe burrow #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fanfic #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow imagine

[stardewsnail]

Can you write head cannons of how the bachelors would react when jealous? Perhaps they heard their farmer was giving gifts to other bachelors. Can be NSFW. K love you byeee

This is a bit inconsistent because of how familiar I am with them/how interesting I thought their reactions would be–some of these are head canons and some of them are drabbles. Somewhere along the way I realized I switched from they/them pronouns to she/her so I guess this is about a fem farmer now lol–hope you enjoy! 

Bachelors get jealous 

MINORS DNI; cw: sexual activity, jealousy, sad boi hours

Shane 

- very different if he’s with the farmer or not bc I feel like he’s used to being envious of others 

- When he sees the farmer bringing Elliot a bottle of wine or Sam a cactus fruit he feels like he has no valid reason to be jealous. He’s just embarrassed and ashamed of his own feelings.  

- Like, obviously the pretty, successful, kind farmer isn’t going to be interested in him? He’s working at the Joja mart and drinking away his money—he’s barely keeping it together and he comes with a kid. Not exactly the biggest catch

- After the cliffs he had come to terms with his crush and is just sort of leaving it because he cannot imagine her reciprocating his growing feelings. That’s fine, he loves having her in his life regardless. He doesn’t have the expectation that they’ll ever return his feelings and that’s okay. He gets a therapist and focuses on getting better for himself and the others in his life

But if they’re together it’s different

- He retreats into himself and has a bit of a mental spiral (ranging from “it was bound to happen eventually” to “oh god our chickens are going to come from a broken home”) 

- Fortunately he has a therapist to work through things with so he’s able to actually express himself to the farmer in a healthy way and receive the emotional validation that the farmer does in fact love them and their chickens will grow up with parents who love each other 

- He’ll pull her onto his lap or against his chest and if the vibe is right the cuddling might turn into a make out session which might get handsy—Shane is extra needy after all this, lingering through the motions. After sex he stays inside her for a minute, just sharing breath and being as close as possible

- Shane alternates being big and little spoon don’t @ me 

I feel like Shane having a therapist pulls a lot of the “drama” out of him being jealous because he’s so focused on developing healthier coping strategies so him talking about his feelings directly is a big step!

...

Sebastian 

Pre relationship

“Motherfucker-!” Sebastian snarled, watching his avatar die yet again. In his headset Sam groaned, quickly meeting a similar fate. Abigail, now left alone, didn’t fare much better. 

“Okay, it’s 4, I’m calling…” A yawn cut through Sam’s words, “….it.” 

Sebastian winced, glancing at the clock, “Damn—yeah. Night, guys.” It was stupid late. He was going to regret this tomorrow. No, actually, he was already regretting it. Now he was just pissed at the game and at—he shoved that thought down, feeling heat rise to his face. He dropped heavily onto the bed, arm thrown over his eyes. His head hurt. 

And he really didn’t want to deal with the bolt of anger that shocked him when he saw Alex throw his arm around the farmer. Her face was lit up with laughter as they shared some joke—the jock had only touched her for a moment and sure, it might not actually mean anything—but he was jealous. And even a solid nine hours of league had done nothing to subdue the feeling that boiled in his chest. It wasn’t even like the farmer didn’t talk to him either—and while she brought everyone little gifts, he’d had the thought that maybe his were special. A foolish, hopeful thought. Alex was outgoing, athletic, and only still lived at home to care for his grandparents. Sebastian was a twenty-four year old college dropout living in his mom’s basement filling his time with gaming. God, he really was a loser. Fortunately he was unconscious before he really had to deal with that. 

… 

Knock, knock, knock

Sebastian groaned, burrowing farther under his pillow. His mom always woke him up when she made breakfast even if he wasn’t actually required to get up. Maybe later he could ask her what she knew about the farmer. He was pretty sure she was still working on upgrading their coop anyway. It wouldn’t be an odd question. He rolled over, trying to relax back down into sleep. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed when the second knock sounded. If he ignored it, chances are his mom would leave him be. But then she knocked again, a little harder this time. He swore under his breath as he hauled himself out of bed, not bothering to hit the lights before throwing open the door with more force than strictly necessary. 

The farmer’s hand was still raised to knock and she froze, looking up at him with raised eyebrows. 

Sebastian’s entire brain blue-screened. It crashed. It attempted to restart. It failed. It tried again but all that came up was how he must look—an old band t-shirt, unbrushed hair, stubbled chin, frog-print boxers—holy shit he wasn’t even wearing pants.  

“Good morning!” She said, cheeks pink. It certainly wasn’t morning, that much he knew.  Sebastian wished the floor would swallow him right then and there. “Sam said you guys were up late playing games so I brought you this,” she held up the coffee in her other hand, “Robin said I was fine to come down, I didn’t think you’d be asleep, sorry—“ 

“I needed to get up anyway,” he said, a bit too fast. He ran his hand over his hair, trying to judge its state and was quickly dismayed. Fuck, she was pretty. Great impression Sebastian. Great job. 

“Thank you,” he added, finally accepting the warm paper cup. 

“I started growing coffee beans a while ago,” she continued, fidgeting and definitely noticing his lack of pants, “This is the first of it. Let me know how it is, I’m still experimenting with roasting.”

“Oh wow,” he took a sip realizing not only was the coffee delightful, she’d also added cream and just a touch of sugar–exactly how he took it, “This is really good. Thank you.” 

She lit up, “Oh good! I was hoping you’d like it.” She was hoping he’d like it? Him specifically? The caffeine hadn’t hit him yet, but the taste of coffee still got his brain moving. He noticed the fishing pole sticking out of her pack.

“Are you headed to the lake?” he asked, before he could really think it through.

“Yeah–I wanted to do some fishing,” she rocked on her feet, “I’ll let you get back to it–”

Shit, that hadn’t been his intent.

“D’you want company?” he cut her off, flushing when she just looked up at him with a smile.

“That would be really nice–you can tell me about your game. It sounded fun but I didn’t quite understand when Sam was talking about it.” 

“Great,” he said, “I’ll uh…meet you out there?” He still wasn’t wearing pants.

 Dating 

Sebastian trusted his girlfriend. That wasn’t the issue. The issue was that seeing her smile and shyly give Elliot a bottle of her mead had shaken the dust off his old companion, jealousy, and now he didn’t know what to do with the itch in his skin.

He’d spent the day working on his bike, music blasting, a scowl etched on his face. At some point Demetrius had come out to say something, but a glance at Sebastian’s face had him simply turning tail back to the house. 

It was better he got it all out of his system before he met up with the farmer at the saloon. 

Some time and a hot shower later he was entering the saloon, wondering if she had beat him there–and she had. 

And Elliot was there, fawning over the farmer who had a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles as the writer told some dramatic story, talking with animated hands. 

He was across the bar in a second, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against his side. The lazy grin he gave Elliot was more a challenge than anything–he didn’t know where this sudden boldness was coming from–Elliot didn’t seem like the type to pull something but there was a primal need to mark his territory. The farmer was his.  

She flashed him a grin, her hand coming to rest in his back pocket, and finished what she was saying. 

“Hey, babe,” she said, pushing to her toes to press a quick kiss to his lips, “I got here early–want to get in some practice before Sam and Abby show up?”

“Need a warm up?” he teased, “Think that will help you beat me?”

“One of these days,” she bumped his hip with her own, “I’m gonna win. Talk to you later, Elliot!” she added. Elliot said something in response before slinking back to where Leah was sitting, watching as if this was her very own reality TV show.

...

Harvey

Harvey wasn’t jealous. The farmer was just a friend–she was kind and generous and liked giving gifts! Most mornings she popped by the clinic to bring him a coffee and chat for a few minutes between appointments. 

It was only natural for her to prefer someone less devoted to their work, younger and more aligned with the pop culture she was familiar with. Sam was a ray of sunshine, and seeing him light up when the farmer had offered him a cactus fruit had sent a spike of something that was not jealousy through his chest. 

He spends all his free time for the next few days pouring over his model planes, completing two kits in record time. Between that and the kids in town catching something nasty and viral, he hadn’t even seen her in a week. Which was fine. 

He hadn’t anticipated her to be waiting right outside the door of the clinic, swinging it open as soon as the lock turned. If he had been any slower, she probably would have hit him with it. Her eyes were piercing as she held out the coffee, a small frown on her face.

“Have you been avoiding me?” her words were blunt and heat rose to his face, hands raised as if that would be enough to convince her of his words. 

“No–no, I just–well–” he swallowed, looking anywhere but her face, “You just seemed busy and like you were spending time with Sam and–” She was giving him this small smile that had his stomach turn to jelly, and now he didn’t know what to do with his hands. She held out the coffee. 

“Want to meet up at the saloon later?”

“Yes!” His reply might have been a bit eager,  but he didn’t care because her face simply lit up. 

“Great, it’s a date.” and then she turned out the door, going on her merry way before he could even process her words. 

...

Alex

- to be honest before they’re dating I think he would just AGGRESSIVELY do push ups where the farmer could see 

- or he’ll make a comment about how hot Haley is looking to the farmer

- Either way he tells Haley about “how well he handled it” and she is so, so tired. 

Alex doesn’t care that the farmer went all the way into the mines to find that special rock for Sebastian. It wasn’t even Sebastian’s birthday or anything, she was just nice and he was not bothered. 

He wasn’t bothered when he was doing push-ups.

He wasn’t bothered when he was squating. 

He wasn’t even bothered while doing his deadlifts. 

And while he showered, he totally wasn’t thinking about how she looked so pleased when she showed him the gem, mentioning that it was Sebastian’s favorite.

Now they were sitting on her bed, watching some movie that he couldn’t quite parse over his churning thoughts. He’d been inching closer and closer without realizing, and now he shifted to rest his head in her lap watching her instead of the movie. 

Immediately her hands found their way to stroke through his hair. She smoothed his brow, and he realized he’d been frowning. 

“What’s up?” she asked, ever perceptive. 

“Nothing,” he replied reflexively, and she paused the movie, waiting for him to continue.

“You…like me, right?” His voice was quiet, and if it wasn’t her he would be too embarrassed to ask such a vulnerable question. 

“I love you, actually.” She said it so casually he took a second to process the confession. Her smile was soft. 

Never one for words over actions, he sat up, closing the distance between them with a kiss.

...

Sam 

- I feel like Sam would try to cover any jealousy with a smile and positive attitude but something about the farmer “doting” on Alex and making him baked salmon really bothered him 

- He asks Shane for advice because that’s his work dad/adult and Shane just looks up at the security camera like it’s the office but does try to give advice because he’s fond of the kid 

- His advice is literally just for Sam to make a move because so help him god if he has to head about the farmers eyes one more time 

...

Elliot 

- He’s in denial that he’s jealous 

- I feel like Elliot’s solution to every emotional problem is writing

- He would probably end up projecting it onto his characters writing a scene where somebody is jealous (because he’s not jealous nope. He’s not jealous at all) 

- He’s a little moodier, a little more sardonic and eventually the farmer asks what’s bugging him–he assures her that it’s just difficulty with his novel

- He doesn’t say he’s jealous nope

- He's just gonna go full Gomez Addams and make love to them in a bit of a frenzy—I’m talking a trail of clothes, fucking her right on his desk.

- He’s leaving hickies, the farmer is being claimed 

- The farmer is being RAVISHED 

- He probably won’t bring it up bc he does trust the farmer completely and knows it’s his own anxiety and the farmer more than reassured him on the reg and he can trust that

...

I’m hiding my dumbass notes waaaaaaay down here

I wrote this while zoinked and made up a whole ass bachelor named Mike and sat there for a good min wondering why I could remember anything about Mike, who the FUCK is Mike????

Am I writing Elliot ravishing the farmer on the desk? Yes, but this reply was getting a little long so it’s coming later

I’ve been a little slow on requests lately, but my spouse is going to be out of town for the next month so I should have a lot more time to working on these :) it brings me such joy every time I get that lil notification, thanks y’all <3

#Stardew valley #stardew valley bachelors #sdv harvey #sdv shane #sdv alex #sdv sam #sdv elliot #sdv sebastian #sdv fanfic #sdv fic request #snailwrites #sdv smut #jealous sdv bachelors

[faeriekit]

Things that are true about Blister Pack that I've probably forgotten to write about (and ergo may appear in a oneshot), part one:

Danny is so big because he ate Pariah Dark. This is a literal and also metaphorical interpretation. "How do ghosts work" they're made of vibes, okay. The metaphorical is the literal. 👻

Danielle is 17ish.

Conner will grow because he has a prescribed amount of ectoplasm to eat per day, physically giving him more mass ➡️ getting bigger and developing. He probably can't grow all that much, like Dani, but he won't always be a teen.

Robin never told anyone his human name. Sorry Dick you're incapable of being emotionally intimate with your friends because of your whack paranoid dad lol 🦇

Danny's home family in Amity Park got bad ending'd when he tried to tell his mom what was up with his biology. It did not work out. Hence why Tucker's already on a new reincarnation cycle and also Sam is already a ghost, and Danny hasn't been human in years.

Tucker works at Wayne tech. I think I implied this before but yeah, it was intended. Dude's a software engineer.

Conner does occasionally hang out with his kryptonian ancestors and other kryptonian ghosts, but not all that often, because it's always sort of weird to hang out with relatives who are really into you existing and you know like fuckall about them and have never actually hung out with them before

Vlad is presumed dead in space. Could be a one shot.

Conner destroyed Lex Luthor's stuff, like, on accident, as part of the JL missions. Dani has been destroying Luthor's stuff whenever she sees it, because he triggers her Vlad Instincts , and also because she thinks she's funny. He doesn't have a lot of time and money to fight for custody rn.

Conner is made of goo. He can destabilize under certain conditions. 💉

Dani and Conner play Pokémon together. Conner plays normally. Dani has all ghost types. (Because it's an old save file when he gets it, he finds out his dad had a team of ice types lol)

Solar core! ☀️ Conner is alien themed to the end.

I'll add more if I remember it. And I know people have a hankering to see Conner interact with his grandmother after the most recent oneshot, so now I have to figure out what Superman's bio mom is like.

#faer nonsense #blister pack #dp x dc

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Aang didn't ask permission at the invasion, okay and aladdin never asked to kiss jasmine, flynn never asked to kiss rapunzel, Ron never asked Kim if he could kiss her, Danny never asked Sam if he could kiss her. I could name a million couples that never ask if i can kiss you. because i dont think most people do. this gives off the same vibes as Ariel didn't want eric to kiss her during the kiss the girl despite her body language/eyes saying otherwise. Do people not understand how romance works in stories? The audience doesnt want to hear a character ask if they can kiss them and i dont think most couples ask either. Katara was playing with her hair and giving Aang flirty eyes some people are just too deep in antikataang land to care that this girl was in love with aang and im tired of it. im tired of zutara fandom ignoring katara interst in aang and calling her his mom so tired of it

"The audience doesnt want to hear a character ask if they can kiss them and i dont think most couples ask either" LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

If instead of simply saying "I'm confused and need some extra time to figure out if I really want to date you, but I definitively don't see you as just my little brother" Katara had said "Sorry Aang, I'm not into you at all, please stop trying to get with me" and then he kissed her - or even worse, if after she pulled away he tried to physically restrain her so he could keep kissing her - then yeah, that Ember Island scene would be in a completely different context that would make Aang look REALLY bad.

But that's not what happened. They were in an ambiguous situation, Aang tried to make it more clear-cut immediately, it didn't go well and he stopped pressing the issue.

The only reasons why people pretend it was far more serious than it was are:

1 - Zutara fans trying to make Aang look bad by pretending he's inevitably going to become an abusive rapist, in the hopes that this will make their own ship look better (and make people forget said ship only exists because of fanfics of Zuko raping Katara when he and the pirates captured her).

2 - People nowadays cannot wrap their heads around the concept of "Characters screw up sometimes - yes, even the good guys - because that's how stories work. If no one ever did anything wrong there'd be no conflicts to resolve"

#anti zutara #pro kataang

[blackquillchillin]

Okay for Simon romancing people in Stardew Valley, we gotta evaluate the potential relationship with each of the characters, so, starting with the Bachelors!!

Alex: gives young person vibes, similar to how Sam does, but more then that i just don't think he's Simon's type. Cocky Jock with Gridball on the brain, eh. I don't know they'd have anything to talk about, really.

Elliott: Aesthetically quite nice, though I don't know if I picture Simon as being very appearance focused in partnerships. Very Artsy. Could work, though I think Simon would be pretty neutral towards him initially.

Harvey: Huge Bonus is that he does not appear as young as some of the other Bachelors. I'm also biased, as He and Sam are the only two I've gotten to marriage to personally. (and quite liked both of them) That said...I don't think he has enough Confidence for Simon. He's dedicated to being a doctor, sure, but he's also nervous, with huge amounts of anxiety at times. He talks constantly about the health and safety of the town, but when other topics do come up, particularly in dating, he's easily flustered. As cute as i find him (and his mustache) I don't think Simon would be interested.

Sam: Reads as too young. everything's still about skateboards and music. Not too young for romance, mind, I romanced him, but too young for Simon. does have golden retriever energy though, which is nice, and really loves his younger brother, also a plus. and he does grow a little once married, But I think it would feel weird. Better match for someone Athena or Apollo's age.

Sebastian: Now here's where we get into the fun stuff!! I think Sebastian would NOT like Simon, who in turn would be....very neutral towards the young man, and completely unaware of the one sided rivalry brewing. See, a lot of the problems Sebastian faces are concerns about not being able to establish himself. He's living in his Mom's basement, with his Step Father he dosn't get along well with, and half-sister who he sees as being favored over him. He also feels no one takes his job seriously, (example, in his two heart event we learn Abigail plans to come visit regardless of him working) but one thing he IS is the town's resident Goth, even more so then Abby. So, imagine, just imagine, how frustrating it would be for him when Simon rolls up, Grumpy and Standoffish, Shock of black hair, dressed all in black, hawk perched on his shoulder, already having his own space with a job everyone recognizes and not having to answer to anyone. If we wanted to count who's edgier, Simon's even been to prison. Heck, in this world he might even have prison tats, anything could happen. And Simon? not the least bit concerned about this, or even aware.

Shane: On the one hand, no one should romance Shane. Shane needs a friend, absolutely, but he also needs therapy, and is not ready to commit to marriage. I might feel differently about this if he wasn't returning to drinking after tying the knot, or reacted to you giving him Beer after quitting. On the other hand, they're both deeply troubled, and I absolutely pair deeply troubled fictional characters, both romantically and platonically. (Bobby Lives! Blackbright whomst, on both counts) They could be deeply troubled.....together..........

And that's the Bachelors! Next up, Bachelorettes..... Abigail: One of her Big character conflicts is growing pains and tension with her Dad. Too young for Simon.

Emily: Too new age-y. I do think they could be friends, though. She'd gift him crystals to "help him absorb negative energy" and he'd get caught in anything she's hung from the ceiling, like dream catchers or beaded curtains. She would be brightly optimistic even as he grouses about life, though wouldn't always appreciate his sarcastic ways.

Haley: Okay hear me out, same energy as Blackmahdi, or NyQuill as I prefer to call it. Sure, it's missing the Ying-Yang color scheme, but consistently arguing? taking pot-shots at each other? both being complex characters with real human motivations underneath their cruel exterior? yeah. It could work. Emily wouldn't be thrilled that that's how they talk to each other though.

Leah: Don't have a reason for it other then I just don't see it. Like, sure, it could happen, but I just don't think it would, you know?

Maru: Simon would be immediately put off by her dad, like that's a big no. Also, she reads fairly young, being at least younger then Seb. also, while he may be reasonably fond of her as a person, (or maybe not, i dunno) I think growing up with Aura may have killed any interest in inventors in general.

Penny: Okay, I know I said Harvey was too timid for Simon, and Penny doesn't exactly exude confidence, but it's not the same. She's a lover of children, who's actively trying to teach the only two children in town. She's aggressively helpful, and trapped in rough circumstances. Also, he could sweep her up in his arms and hold her close and she could gently help him through his anxiety attacks and no I'm not projecting-

Lastly, It's not Romance, but Platonic,

Krobus: No notes. Sweet little guy. Perfection. Simon would share his house with him, as would anyone.

And that's the list!! let me know if you want to hear potential dynamics with the other townsfolk, I may have more thoughts about some of them then others, of course.

#simon blackquill #ace attorney #stardew valley #stardew bachelors #stardew bachelorettes #simonsays

[mermaidsirennikita]

omg peak jude law would've been so hot as st vincent

Thank yooou. I've told many people this and they're like "what are you talking about" and here's my thing: a lot of these reeeeally popular romance novels, especially historicals, were written like 10+ years ago and written by women who are older than than a lot of their young readers, and they have *different standards*.... *better standards*, some would say.... There are very few people who are writing romance novels with Timothee Chalamet and Tom Holland in mind, is what I'm saying.

I see Sam Claflin recommended a lot for St. Vincent and a) I personally find him attractive only in very specific situations and that cannot stand and b) I just do not think Sam Claflin has the SAUCE for St. Vincent.

When I think of a man who gives off vibes that are so, so slutty... Vibes that say "I will fuck you and never call you but you'll be okay with it".... Vibes that say "I cannot win a fight, but I will bone your girlfriend and hopefully make it out the window"... Vibes that say "I am completely broke but you'll let me stay on your mom's phone plan..."

That is Peak Jude Law. He is hot in a lean way, he gives "great conversationalist, absolute fuckboy", WE KNOW HE IS because he FUCKED THE NANNY and Sienna Miller, God bless her, WENT BACK FOR MORE???

And even the nanny was like "no ragrets" about it.

Here's the thing, too. Everyone knew Jude was a dog. (And let us be real, he probably still is, but he was incredible in The Young Pope so I'll allow it.) Everyone knew! There was no sense of "oh Jude Law is actually just a nice boy you bring home to Mom" like these guys today try to sell to the media. NO!!!! We were like "Jude Law is a fucking slut and we're living for it. Who will he bone next?"

Like, he wasn't breaking any laws (.... that I know of). He was just spreading his seed across the land, and probably still does. Why does everyone think he was so hot in The Holiday? Do people hONESTLY think a NON-SLUTTY MAN could play that role??? FOR REAL. FOR REAL FOR REAL. "I am daddy" give me a fucking break.

See: Hugh Grant playing Hugh Grant as Daniel Cleaver in Bridget Jones's Diary. I'm not even attracted to Hugh Grant like that. But I do miss that moment in time when we were like "slutty is as slutty does". Of course, there were obviously misogyny issues because women couldn't do that and you know general other issues, I'm sure Jude has given many an STI, but I'm not talking who he is as a person, I am talking his image at his height, and that is. The Vibe. For Sebastian St. Vincent.

#also see: colin farrell #WE DIDN'T LIKE COLIN BC HE WAS A NICE DUDE #WE LIKED HIM BC OF THE SEX TAPE #WE LIKED HIM BC HE WAS ALL 'BREAKFAST LUNCH AND DINNER' #and now it's like everyone wants to pretend these nice boys with tons of fangirls and more money than i'll see in my lifetime #aren't fucking anything that has a pulse (when they're single) (and also lbr often when they're not) #i just want to return to a state of honesty lol #also fun fact you know who cucked jude? daniel craig! and it was apparently lovely! good for sienna

[manyfandomocs]

You know, I feel like we definitely need to talk crossovers at some point… Glee, Descendants, Wizarding World, whatever you want, I feel like our OCs would go so good together. 🤭

Okay in a strange turn of events considering what I asked you, I ended up overwhelmed by all the options I first immediately thought of?? But here is the big List pls tell me anything else you can think of I love anything and everything

And I left most of these vague on whether it’s platonic or even romantic so?? Lmk!!

Glee

Audrey + Beatrice (Bea would absolutely adore her, she’d love Audrey so much and think she’s so great)

Audrey + Carrie (Honestly this is mostly fc bias cause of Dumplin’ but I do think they’d be fun. Carrie is a bitch tbh but she can be a nice bitch, she’d question Audrey’s taste in Finn a little though)

Audrey + Felicity (Felicity is so kind and sweet to everyone she would welcome Audrey so fast)

Audrey + Giselle (Giselle is always welcoming she is usually the clubs mom friend she would love her)

Audrey + Saoirse (You know how Rory got attached to Sam a bit for American life, I think that’d be Saoirse and Audrey)

Audrey + Scott (I think this is one that would have a little buildup cause Scott isn’t a dick but he isn’t offering a bunch of friendliness right away either. But he does get really close to Coach Beiste and I see that being their in)

Audrey + Xavier (He’s a menace and annoying and he’ll flirt with her way too much but he means well)

Audrey + Zeke (Cousins! Zeke would love her! He’d also wanna fight anyone being mean he is a chill skater boy but also that’s his favorite person)

Leo + Ashton (As a baseline Ashton hates jocks except he doesn’t he thinks they’re hot. I think they’d have such an interesting dynamic tbh with Ashton’s attitude and them both being closeted)

Leo + CJ (CJ would think he’s so cool. He’d probably wanna talk his ear off tbh but I think he’d like Leo a lot)

Leo + Giselle (I love me some MLM/WLW solidarity these two can be that that’s the thought process. Plus he likes her brother so she’s supporting that)

Leo + Leonard (They’re both Leo’s I don’t have too much thinking here tbh. Leonard will make him pastries and probably have a crush on him tbh)

Leo + Scott (Hockey teammates hockey teammates. Scott would at least be more likely to talk to him quicker than some other crossovers because of hockey but he’s also like so singularly focused on hockey until the New Directions makes him open up so, it’d be rough but I’m so here for them)

Leo + Xavier (Also hockey teammates! Xavier would be chill with him for sure. Both from different states and having to deal with Lima weirdness, though Xavier would definitely seem more like the other assholes on the team but he’s chill really)

Parker + Ashton (Ashton would be so chill with them. He’s got his little skank bad boy rep so Parker is definitely up his alley to hang)

Parker + Carrie (Unexpected duo. Carrie is popular and ambitious and bitchy but?? I feel like she’d like Parker. Maybe cause they don’t give a fuck I feel like she’d respect that)

Parker + CJ (CJ thinks they’re the coolest person ever he will be wanting to copy their look and everything else. The ideal person to him)

Parker + Jasper (Idk i think Jasper would like Parker a lot he would be down for their whole vibe)

Parker + Steve (I don’t have too many thoughts I just think Steve could be into them and their whole thing)

Parker + Xavier (Honestly their storyline with Puck would just also work with Xavier though he’s more accepting)

Bruno + Ashton (I just like giving Ashton crossovers. I think it’d take a little bit but Ashton would definitely be into hanging out)

Bruno + Carrie (I think Carrie would end up liking Bruno a lot, she’s here to have one favorite New Directions member and it’d be him)

Bruno + Christina (I truly have no basis for this I just think they’d be so fun together)

Bruno + Isadora (I feel like they could hatch a plan together, be a little mischievous to get Mike and Tina to date them instead)

Ivy + Ashton (Honestly anyone that goes against the grain is cool with Ashton. He’d be down for her)

Ivy + Beatrice (She would think she’s so cool oh my god, number one fan she’s so impressed by her existence)

Ivy + Isadora (They are so similar I love it. Isadora would be so okay hanging out with Ivy and tbh after she stopped being friends with Santana and Brittany I see her being like “Ivy is my best friend now bye”)

Ivy + Sophia (Sophia would respect her sm. She is constantly arguing with people cause of Kurt so she would love Ivy standing up to people)

Ivy + Steve (Steve loves Broadway and would be amused by how outspoken she is so I think they’d end up being pretty chill

Bailey + Ashton (Honestly the idea of a little southern belle type befriending an asshole like Ashton is just really good to me)

Bailey + CJ (He has a crush on her. I have no doubt he has a crush on her. A very big embarrassing crush he would think she’s so great)

Bailey + Isadora (Their looks and aesthetic are so opposite and I love it I think they’d be great. Isadora would like her)

Bailey + Leonard (He’d love her, he’d love how nice he is because he’s ridiculously nice so it would be a great pair)

Bailey + Saoirse (Bailey has a southern accent, Saoirse has an Irish accent, I think they’d have conversations people wouldn’t understand and I love it)

Bailey + Scott (I just like Scott with a lot your people I’m sorry. I think she’d melt his little “Ice King” exterior pretty quickly)

Mara + Giselle (Giselle would love everything about her. The jewelry, being an out lesbian, all of it she is a big fan)

Mara + Jasper (Jasper shows up in Lima and he instantly decides he likes Mara that’s the rules)

Mara + Jupiter (Jupiter would find her weird I won’t deny that but she also is not against that at all she’d be charmed by it)

Mara + Saoirse (Saoirse would also love her. She would be so interested in everything about her)

Descendants

Greta + Cadence (I had to try to not give every VK I have but anyways. Cadence is not supposed to be in Auradon but she is here anyways which I think would already get Greta’s attention)

Greta + Emmeline (Emmeline is too friendly always so if Greta wanted one person in Auradon it would be her)

Greta + Gabriel (Besides the fact of Gabriel being my crossover boy I think he’d vibe with her a lot. He doesn’t wanna be here but she would be easy to befriend)

Greta + Hallie (Hallie would originally wanna befriend Greta to gain Auradon trust but once Greta’s friends with the VKs I think I can see them becoming friends)

Greta + Jackie (These two I see vibing a lot. Very cool together, Jackie would show up with the VKs unannounced and be very chill with Greta)

Greta + Ruby (Ruby would honestly be jealous of how open and herself she is so I think Ruby would definitely seem like one of the people that doesn’t like her but they’d grow close!!)

Sebastian + Evelyn (Evelyn wants to befriend him so badly. The Sea Three are her people she’d love him around)

Sebastian + Ginevra (Idk idk I just see a good friendship between these two. She usually hates people but Sebastian might get through)

Sebastian + Jackie (I also see these two vibing a lot, she’s been different places and would be happy to tell him about it)

Sebastian + Polly (Tbh a lot of this idea just stemmed from Sebastian’s intro saying that his parents said he belongs in Neverland so, my Neverland girl would be happy to talk)

Sebastian + Stephen (Brothers that end up dating villain kids they got a type)

Sebastian + Wrenley (They both are very dreamy and want more things I think they’d get along well)

Wizarding World

Rosaline + Cadmus (Two pureblood raised people that don’t really believe in the prejudices but aren’t going against their parents right now that date Weasley’s? They have lots in common I love it and also perfect with the fcs)

Rosaline + Catherine (Mmmm more fc bias but their both Slytherin’s and though Catherine doesn’t follow any pureblood crap I think they could be so fun)

Rosaline + Elio (More two pureblood raised people but Elio doesn’t date Ron they’re just besties. I think they’d get along I love it)

Rosaline + Zara (Rosaline takes time to get over her issues but I see them being really cute and good together)

Cat + Kieran (Cat really doesn’t need two pretty boy menaces in her left and yet, don’t they? Kieran will hit on them and be so annoying but also so charming)

Cat + Matilda (Tilly would love Cat? So much? She’s annoyed by James, Cat’s annoyed by Sirius, they can bond over it together)

Tbh I really should get some Fantastic Beasts and Riddle Era ocs too

#answered #faerieroyal #crossover list #dolly tag

[ananke-xiii]

dean kinda easily connecting with mary while sam struggles.a.lot. gives such strong mom-and-eldest-daughter-went-through-a-lot-together-while-youngest-sister-was-not-even-breastfed vibes that I can't even. or maybe i'm projecting my trauma onto a fictional character who knows?

seriously s12 sam and dean are exactly like eldest sibling who started going through some of their shit and is starting to work it through (sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's not) vs. youngest sibling who's still in denial, repressing their emotions, "we grew up with no love nor support from our parents, but i'm in my 30s now and i'm TOTALLY OKAY, SEE?!" i-don't-need-therapy-i'm-fine!!!my vein is popping out just because and i raised my voice for no reason, i'm sooooo well!

#new game in town #let's play is it my life or is it sam winchester's? #we both epically fail at life so the results are always the same #spn #supernatural #spn s12 #spn rewatch #sam winchester

[the-arson-author-gamer]

How Likely Each Stardew Valley Villager Would Give Me Drugs If I Asked For It 

(and other related matters)

Ok, before I begin, this wasn't an original idea, I got inspired, and unlike some people (ssstalkerwolf) I like to give credit. So here it is!

Either way, after watching a video by the stardew youtuber, Nino Kito (go subscribe) and reading the article that he read (which is hilarious by the way), I essentially went 'could I do this in my own way?'

And I did.

I find it worth it to at least read the article before you read this because there are some references and I think one should go back to the original source if they can.

Also, this was for fun, and my own amusement watching my friends slowly lose their perception of who I am as a person.

As you can already tell, this is going to be long, so everything will be under the cut for the remaining sanity of you and myself after I post it.

#45: Jas

First, a literal child. Second, she knows what drugs are, and it would traumatize her for life if you asked because she absolutely knows what drugs do to Marnie after her 3-day work week and Shane after another depressing night at the saloon. That kid can’t witness another addiction come into place, her childlike whimsy is depleting at a rapid pace.

#44: Vincent

90% sure that this kid doesn’t even understand the concept of war, let alone what weed is and why mom keeps getting upset when dad doesn’t act paranoid for once in his very sad life. There’s no sense asking him if he doesn’t even know what it is, which is why he places above Jas, who knows what drugs are. If the kid ever learned how to read within the several years you’ve been in the valley, he might learn what it is, but that chance is highly unlikely considering Penny’s report cards, so you’re safe for now. Or at least until he asks Jodi.

#43: Leo

Leo’s third because that’s also a kid, but also because Vincent could figure out what drugs are, Leo will never. Considering all the research done on the few surviving feral children (because society keeps fucking it up) it is even a wonder that Leo can still speak, let alone read. That kid will just squawk at you like a fucking parrot. Another waste of your precious time, but at least you aren’t potentially traumatizing any more children than you have to for your drug quest.

#42: Jodi

Christian stay-at-home housewife to a man of war? Jodi gives me homophobe vibes, let alone you asking for a bit of the good stuff. That woman is calling you the spawn of Satan and then tries to hit you with her purse. You get away easily because beating up monsters in the mines does wonders, but you aren’t seeing the likes of Vincent ever again, considering we all know how those people are. You can still see Sam, but that’s because her closeted bisexual son knows how to evade her and how to get easy drugs (Sebastian).

#41: Demetrius

Yeah, Demetrius could cook up meth like Walter White but the dude’s a wet blanket. Not only will he say no, but the guy is going to follow you around like a lost puppy asking if you are okay or need addiction therapy. If you make the mistake of asking him, that’s on you for thinking that the man that embodies 90s romance movie father of the girl next door will ever give you drugs.

#40: Morris

Yeah, the man is totally an asshole. He would ban you from ever being hired at Joja, but he technically can’t block you from entering or buying any Joja product without causing the third Joja scandal of the month (It’s the 12th of Summer). If pollution’s mascot bans you from their stores, not only are they losing their precious small town pennies, but also getting another parody article from The Onion that blows up on Twitter. Still not getting back into Joja though after you fuck up so bad on the farm there’s no point of return, but that’s probably for the better.

#39: Governor

That feathered fedora says all, the man has drugs, but there will be no allusion to it due to the fact that he requires those important republican/conservative Christian mom votes. You can ask him, but there’s no way you will ever get any from him. The only thing you are getting from him is the place where he gets those hats and a governmental secret that you’re forced to take to the grave. Congrats, your knowledge of the valley increased by 0.17%!

#38: Penny

Similar to the governor, Penny has drugs, but she isn’t giving them to you, or even telling you that she has them. That shitty toddler teaching job is the only thing preventing her and Pam from going out on the streets. If she gets her online bought teaching licence revoked, she’s done for. It’s best not to ask her for both of your remaining pieces of sanity.

#37: Marnie

She also has drugs, but her already thin supply of ketamine is running thinner by the continued amount of days that Shane has been in the valley. If you ask her, she’ll just say sorry and try to sell you another cow for more drug money and an apology toy for Jas for putting up her remaining family’s bullshit.

#36: Clint

This man is the biggest pussy in the town, you really think he can handle anything more than a single pint of beer, then you’re wrong. He would panic and then cry in the seclusion of the machinery of the blacksmith’s opening your 28 magma geodes if you ever asked him for drugs. I also think he would up the coal prices again if you asked, and nobody wants to dust sprite farm more than they have to. Or pay thousands into Clint’s Emily shrine in the closet for a few morsels of coal.

#35: Harvey

Another pussy, but instead of saying no, he just quakes in his dress shoes at the counter while he hands over you some of the hardest drugs ever prescribed to man. But you will never consider him as an option considering his status as the town’s top scaredy-cat and the only ones who will ever know this is Maru his only employee and Pam who was just bold enough to ask.

#34: Robin

Robin grew up in construction and carpentry, the concept of drugs does not scare Robin, therefore she isn’t going to freak out like everybody so far on the list. But she has none for you, because she is apparently some kind of good samaritan. It must be all those rants from Demetrius and the science behind hearing enough of a concept makes you believe it.

#33: Goblin Henchmen

The only drugs the henchman will give you is the delicacy of void mayo (if you can even gain any friendship with the fellow). So unless if the mayonnaise from magic void chickens does something interesting, it may not be worthwhile to you. The only reason he ranks higher is that I don’t know the hallucinogenic properties of void mayo (yet).

#32: Marlon

Yeah, the guy has drugs, but he won’t give them to you, considering that he knows you would absolutely take it into the mines and snort some cocaine while completing the wizard’s prismatic jelly quest (I don’t blame you, that quest is hell). He’s already lost too many members to drug use in the mines, it’s kind of embarrassing at this point. Though, if you have drugs on you and are out of the mines, he’ll totally join you as the first member (and only sane member) of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. 

#31: Pierre

Remember the secret stash cutscene? Pierre has drugs, but he isn’t letting go of those narcotics at all. Good luck trying to get out of there with your perception of that family intact. You will have no drugs, only another couple of secrets that you have to take to the grave. At least now you know why Abigail’s hair has remained purple after never dyeing it.

#30: Maru

While Maru does not have drugs, she is chill about them and will even occasionally join Sebastian once in a while. She will probably just direct you towards Sebastian, if anything. But considering the kind of game Stardew is, this is essentially a long side quest, but instead of getting a tool or another ridiculous single use item it’s just drugs… Wait.

#29: Gus

Despite the fact that Sebastian is dealing right under his nose (what do you really think he’s doing every Friday night? It obviously isn’t beating Sam at pool, he’s done that hundreds of times already, there’s no thrill to it anymore) Gus believes that his saloon is free of drugs. Which is a stupid assumption considering that he deals with both Pam and Shane on a regular basis for their alcohol. He’ll just say no and then watch you avidly for the next few times you visit on Friday to hand out an assortment of iridium rabbit feet as if it’s completely normal.

#28: George

Poor man is in possession of nothing more than some expired Tylenol in the back of the medicine shelf that he can’t reach. George should probably be on some serious opioids but considering that state of that wheelchair (which I’m pretty sure is growing mold) he probably has nothing for you. But if you offered him anything, you would gain more friendship than giving him an iridium leek on his 87th birthday.

#27: Grandpa

When Grandpa was alive, he had complete access to drugs (Working with Qi will do that to you). But it’s not like he’s alive enough to give them to you, unless if there’s some kind of astral plane/purgatory narcotic that he can hand out (which would be sick as fuck).  But besides Grandpa’s lack of drugs, he totally hanged around Willy and Linus in ye olden days, creating the first edition of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. You’ll get some great stories through the dream realm but no drugs.

#26: Gunther

I think Gunther would get bored at the museum, waiting around for your once-a-month visit with a bunch of ores or artifacts. Of course, he gets excited to have those, but he goes through inspecting them so quick that he’s done only a couple of days after your visit. So a bored archaeologist has to do something… drugs. He does drugs. It’s not like the poor lonely man has anything to offer you, but if you offered him something, he would be quite excited. The only way, the man has access to some magic mushrooms is following you to the mines and going down to floor 80 to pick up some stuff. At least he’s responsible enough not to go alone or do the magic mushrooms while in the caves, unlike the entirety of the now dead Adventurers Guild.

#25: Haley

Yeah, article’s right, Haley would not have drugs but would absolutely be able to lead you to them. This girl knows everybody, and the next party she’s going to? That you were only half paying attention to because she kept insulting your taste in fashion? Yeah, she knows a guy, who knows a guy, who’s friend’s sister’s step-brother is going to be there and has got a great stash that he’s willing to share. 

#24: Sandy

Sandy’s shop lives right off of Qi, her business essentially relies on that man, 110% that she would return the favour to Qi by directing you to him. Sandy is a solid contact if you really need some good drugs.

#23: Bouncer

Akin to Sandy, the bouncer works for Qi, of course he has access to drugs, not like he’s going to hand them out willingly, though he will direct you to Qi for more business. He and Sandy got a solid deal with Qi if that they promote the drug business in the desert (to the trader) than they get more money in their pockets and some free stuff to themselves, are they going to deny a great deal? I think not.

#22: Dwarf

As we know, the Dwarf doesn’t have a basic concept of personal property, so any of the drugs he has are stolen from Linus’s stashes around the valley. So yes he will give you drugs, but you just don’t know who it’s from. If you are fine with risking getting caught with somebody else’s drugs that have been second-hand stolen, then go right ahead! Dwarf’s got you!

#21: Pam

I feel as this is self-explanatory, Pam has drugs, she gets them from Harvey, but she much rather join you for drinks than for drugs. She has them, but I think what’s left of Pam’s moral standing wouldn’t exactly feel 100% okay giving a 20-something year old hard drugs (not that she knows what Penny does when she isn’t around). You’d still have a great night, it just wouldn’t be drugs.

#20: Professor Snail

Article’s right again, that Snail man totally survived off of magic mushrooms inside that caves. If you ask him for drugs, he would just shakily point a finger towards the mushroom caves.

#19: Willy

I think Willy would be a complicated man, I don’t think he would do drugs, but I think he wouldn’t care if you did them, maybe he would oversee the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. At most would do a bong with you while night fishing, but he wouldn’t go apeshit like anybody else, so that’s a plus. 

#18: Kent

“He was in the war!” Bitch so? If you offered that guy some relief from the constant trauma, he would pay off your mortgage. He doesn’t have any drugs on his person because Jodi’s like a personified drug dog but also a bitch. But he does have some stashes around the valley, not very good spots though, considering that Linus took all of them. I think it’s worth noting that when high, Kent will reveal every piece of traumatic information he has from the war, which makes him an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. Because no circle can go without a traumatized adult man!

#17: Granny Evelyn

Granny was the coolest kid in town back in ye olden days, she had anything and everything. Too bad she gave up on it after she married George and took in Alex. Despite all of that, she does have some likely-dead contacts for you if you are interested in whatever the hell Granny was into back in the days.

#16: Sam

Sam is besties with both Sebastian and Abigail, both of which have access to drugs through their respective sources. Despite being down the line a decent bit, Sam has got some shit that even his bloodhound of a mother can’t find, that guy grew up lying to his mom. Anyway, Sam is pretty chill to hang around, he’ll probably talk about music and video games the entire time, but a lot of people are into that stuff, so he’s a pretty good guy to chill with. However, the time it takes between him getting drugs from Sebastian or Abigail then using up a week’s supply is very short, so you must act fast if you want a chance to be with Sam.

#15: Lewis

You’re telling me that the mayor of a town consisting of 24 other people gives enough tax money in order to build a SOLID GOLD STATUE of himself? This statue is solid gold! Not laminated! That either took years to establish, or the guy has a secret drug empire. And I think it’s the latter. Lewis totally buys the drugs from Qi, then sells it at an astronomical price to the Governor. Yeah, the Governor. Why do you think Lewis smooches him up every year at the Luau! Lewis has drugs and is willing to sell it to you, so he can build another solid gold statue of himself, but it’s so pricey that it’s not worth it. Another governmental secret to take to the grave… Yippee. 

#14: Alex

Alex is probably willing to do anything to go pro, including taking steroids. Those books that he never reads but are never dusty? Yeah, there’s a big ass stash behind there. He’s willing to share if you’re a dude and give the ‘right’ reason why you want them (sports rather than anything else logical for a farmer). But if you’re a girl good luck, the misogyny runs strong within him until you kind of send him on a character arc.

#13: Shane

He’s stealing from Marnie, that much is obvious, dude’s so broke from spending his money on alcohol that he has none left for drugs. It’s not like Marnie is going to tell him to stop, so he has free rein of Marnie’s stash. If you get him drunk enough first, then he’s surprisingly willing to join you. Just note that he will drop all his traumas and life story on you, Shane will become an integral member of the Nightmare Blunt Rotation Circle™. 

#12: Elliot

Consider the daily struggle of writers and consider how Elliot can actually write a good book that fast… Drugs, obviously. You see, very few people could have the patience to speak like Shakespeare on a daily basis and somehow still make it understandable to the average Joe, AND still hold the best hair in the Valley (fight me). In fact, I’m bold enough to say that nobody has the patience to do all of that, the obvious answer is a constant influx of magic mushrooms provided by Leah. The main difference between the two is that Leah is more likely to show you all the good spots for forage, Elliot will straight up hand it to you as some poetic declaration of love. 

#11: Gil

After living a long time and serving the Adventurer’s Guild for so long, I think Gil would have to do something to pass the long hours of sitting around. So, despite Marlon’s protests, he snorts skeleton bone crack. Is Gil isn’t out of his mind of skeleton crack then he’s totally get you some, you just have to catch him at the right time (before 2pm, good luck).

#10: Abigail

Abigail has full access to Caroline’s ‘tea’ garden, unlike Pierre, and she has access to whatever the hell Sebastian has on him at any time. So she’s got plenty of people to send you to and plenty of drugs to share. Overall, Abigail is a solid choice to go to, and she’d be cool to hang with as well. Maybe just don’t go to the mines with her to snort crack because nobody needs another grave hanging around the cemetery that Abigail can no longer visit.

#9: Linus

While we are collectively unsure of the reason Linus decided to live out in the wild and cosplay a caveman, I can obviously determine that the man has so much planted around the valley. Weed? Oh yeah, that’s at the train tracks behind the bath house, nobody bothers to go up beyond that point! Cocaine? He talks to the travelling trader a lot. You name it, he has it. He’s also friends with the wizard, which should be enough proof in the first place. The only reason he’s ranked here is that everybody else is practically on par with him. 

#8:  Emily

As long as you are fine with spiritual shit and dancing, then Emily is the person you should go to. I mean, at least Emily isn’t like some of those weird spiritual people that you can sometimes meet, she’s just cool and into crystals and their meanings. Anyway, Emily is cool, would hit you up with whatever she’s got, and you would probably learn about crystals more than you should? 8/10 experience, would go again.

#7: Caroline

That tea cutscene? That greenhouse? Married to Pierre? Yeah, Caroline is not just growing tea in that greenhouse of hers. She is absolutely willing to share because her only friend is Jodi, and we already covered her drug dog tendencies. Also, being married to Pierre is already hell on earth, so she will take anything that she can get (this includes a friend). Should I mention that she totally had a fling with the wizard? Who would totally hand out drugs at any given moment for a solar essence? Yeah, Caroline is cool, and she is a great candidate to ask for drugs and hang with.

#6: Leah

Let’s face it, there is no way in hell that Leah wasn’t high while making that statue, yeah, that one. Also, she just forages around for her food on a daily basis, I wouldn’t be surprised if she came across one of Linus’s stashes. Also, she would hand around Linus and do magic mushrooms, fall in the valley is the best season for them after all. She will show you all the best spots, her favourite is the cliff wall behind the Wizard’s tower where all sorts of weird shit grows. It’s best not to ask the origins of it, only how high it will make you.

#5: Krobus

C’mon, you just know that he has drugs down in that sewer, he probably provides come cool stuff to the Wizard to experiment with every now and again. Also, if you are roommates with him, you will also get the experience with hanging around with the coolest creature around. 10/10, always go to Krobus.

#4: Birdie

The fairy dust is not the only thing that is magical about Birdie, her island based drugs are astronomical. She has access to things that very few can even bother to search for, go to Birdie to have a riveting conversation about the sea while being high as fuck.

#3: Sebastian

Sebastian buys primarily from Qi, in fact, he’s Qi’s best buyer, so it’s obvious that he has stuff on hand, and he’s willing to hand stuff out as well. The thing that makes Sebastian so high on the list in comparison to others is the fact that, like Linus, he has everything. Go to Sebastian, any angsty rants about his stepdad and wanting to leave the Valley will be worth anything that Sebastian has got from Qi. 

#2: Wizard

In your very first cutscene with this guy, you get handed some forestry concoction that could totally be considered a drug. The shit this guy has is phenomenal, and he is willing to give it out as long as you have a couple void essence to spare as repayment. Any failed potions or concoctions are being chucked out the window into the concerning lack of wildlife in the valley, all for Leah to watch crazy ass mushrooms to grow then snort them. 

#1: Mr Qi

Where do you think Sebastian’s getting the drugs? Qi runs an empire much larger than Lewis’s statues, Pierre’s money hounding, and Joja’s corporation desires would ever think of having. Qi is the sole reason why Stardew is still holding a half decent economy before you started mass-producing starfruit wine. If you want any kind of drug, you go to Qi, he’s got you covered. 

Bonus: Hat Mouse

Hat Mouse is cool, go to hat mouse. Hat mouse has drugs.

---

And that's a wrap! I hoped you found as much fun in this as I did for the past 2 months when I found time, and I guess the real questions are:

Who would you go to for drugs in the Valley?

Should I post this to my ao3 for shits and giggles?

#stardew valley #stardew #sdv #I'm not tagging every villager no way #taag talks #Jodi's part is my favourite #but Lewis is really close as a second #Youtube

[jemgirl86]

Shana! 'You never can tell' please!!

Okay, so at this point I have 1700 words of this. It’s a one shot stand alone AU of my own WIP AU fic, Weep Not for the Memories (something that I will finish one day lol). I’m a happy ending gal at the end of the day, so the premise is essentially: What if Sam and Bucky decided to get engaged during their senior year of high school and their parents got upset… but then everything basically turned out fine? lol Anyway, here’s a snippet:

Paul put down his coffee cup and eyed Sam and his boyfriend. They were being weird. Well, weirder than the average pair of teenagers who had forced their families to meet and have dinner together, and Paul was ready to know why.

Actually, Sam had been nervous and jittery all week: slipping out of a room whenever he or his mom walked in, keeping conversations short and sweet, even the one where he had insisted they invite the Barnes family over for dinner had lasted less than three minutes. And for the first few days Paul had just assumed his son was avoiding telling them about a bad grade, or a detention, or something else that would definitely have them upset, but certainly wouldn’t be the end of the world.

However, as he watched the two boys keep making eye contact and then looking away, their expressions giving off the vibe that they’d actually like to be anywhere else in the world than at the meet and greet they orchestrated, Paul could actually feel his blood pressure going up. What in the world was going on?

As if he could sense his dad was quickly running out of patience, Sam spoke up.

“Hey, Sarah.” He looked across the table at his younger sister. “Why don’t you go show Becca your room?”

“Sure, Sammy,” she said, sounding almost subdued, and motioned towards Becca. “Come on, I’ll show you my new laptop.”

And that — the ease with which his daughter complied with the request without asking why or even pulling a face at being asked to leave the room, along with the almost encouraging smiles both girls sent their respective brother — had alarm bells going off in Paul’s head.

“What’s going on, Samuel?”

The girls were barely out of earshot before the words came rushing out of Paul’s mouth.

Sam could tell his dad meant business. His father wasn’t even trying to hide the no nonsense look on his face. And even though his mom was smiling serenely and George and Winifred were both looking on with polite curiosity, the tension in the room was palpable. It was obvious that all four of them were ready to know just why their kids had called them together.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky snippet #thanks for the ask 💕

[frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe]

you mentioned maybe doing some destiel for the prompt thingy... 23 and 60 were giving me such dean vibes i would love to see you do more destiel stuff <3

hello, friend!! thank you so so much for requesting these!! i've literally never actually written any destiel stuff, so i really hope you enjoy! 🫶🫶

23 - “It’s hard to get used to…” “what is?” “Being someone that someone cares for…” 60 - “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified to be honest.”

pairing: destiel | word count: 1,508 | rated: T

request a prompt from here!

Damn fuckass witches…they should all go straight to hell.

What lesson is he supposed to be learning anyway, it’s not like she gave him any sort of hint. 

…Okay, maybe she did, but it’s not Dean’s fault he wasn’t listening, it’s her fault for chanting her freakin’ curse after throwing him around like she did.

Make his ears ring then tell him the thing that could help break the spell? Not cool.

What the fuck ever, they’re back at the bunker now, the whole case being a dud anyway. That damn witch was behind the ‘ghost’ reports they had gotten, having just conjured one to keep people off her lawn. A classic Scooby-doo type.

Now the only things on Dean’s mind were to get the fuck back home (check), take a long-ass shower (heading there now), and avoid Cas like his life depended on it (…remains to be seen).

Cas being back at the bunker for a long stretch of time like this was a good thing, a great thing, really. He was finally back in one spot where Dean could keep an eye on him, make sure he’s okay for real. No phone calls, no prayers that go unanswered more than half the time, just Cas. Down the hall. Safe and sound. 

And that’s where the (current) problem lies.

Dean’s Cas Problem™ had been slowly building and burning and broiling under his skin for years now. Since that first goddamn meeting in that barn covered in ineffective banishing sigils.

It had to come to a head sometime, and Dean'd much rather that time be when he's not just recently been cursed to only tell the truth.

He successfully avoided the angel for about seven hours.

The next morning, when Sam was either already nose deep in research on Dean’s newest affliction or out -gag- jogging, Dean makes his way to the kitchen for some sustenance.

He’s hoping to be sneaky enough not to alert Cas to where he is, lest the angel try to cook for him again. 

Cas has been doing that a lot. Cooking. Said he found it to be ‘quite fulfilling’ even though all foods only ever ‘taste like molecules’ to him

The act never failed to throw Dean farther down the You’re totally in love with your best friend who’s an angel and also a dude hole he’s dug himself into over the years.

Food is Dean’s ultimate love language. Being given his favorite beer after a long hunt, a plate of homemade treats from the mom whose boy they’d saved, even just a simple slice of pie for lunch while on the road for a while? Astounding, amazing, perfection, 10/10.

It goes the other way too; he loves to cook for someone. It’s how he shows his love for the people around him. He likes just knowing exactly how much of each dumb rabbit food to add to the frankly enormous omelet he makes for Sammy every Saturday, or exactly how much lemon zest he should add to the blueberry pie for the elderly Ms. Aggie up at the grocery store.

Loves it.

So that’s why whenever the particularly gorgeous celestial being that’s taken over Dean’s heart cooks for him, he folds. Wants so badly to love the angel, be loved by him in return. But it’s the most frightening thing he’s ever come face to face with.

Sometimes Dean thinks the affections are returned, but even after all these years he still can’t quite read the full meaning behind anything Cas does.

For the Dean of Now, it’s a compounding problem that will go completely off the rails if Cas finds him in the kitchen.

He’ll find Dean there, insist that Dean ‘rest. You are only human.’, and take up making breakfast himself.

With this curse on him, Dean doesn’t want to even think of the possible things he’d admit to without wanting to.

So he prays (hah) that Cas is gone off somewhere else for just the moment, somewhere far far far away from the bunk—

“Good morning, Dean.”

Fuck.

‘Just keep your mouth shut, Winchester. Don’t make a sound.’

“How are you feeling?”

Dean grits out a simple “Fine.” He’s not lying, physically he feels perfectly fine if a little sore. “Maybe a little sore.”

Cas nods, “Were you about to make breakfast?” he asks, stepping past dean to the stove and turning on one of the burners.

‘Mouth shut mouth shut mouth shut–’

Luckily, Cas is facing away from him and doesn’t see his head nodding in betrayal.

“Dean?”

Dean’s response is slow, each word said very carefully. “I was, but now I am going to just have coffee.” Hey, it’s not a lie if he’s changed his mind.

Cas turns to face him. “Dean, humans cannot subsist on coffee alone. Shall I make you breakfast?”

“No, it’s alright Cas, really. I want coffee.”

A loud grumble emanates from his stomach the moment he stops speaking.

There’s a smirk on the angel’s face now. “Sounds like I should make you something.”

He turns back to the stove, reaching for and setting down a pan from the hook on the wall, and gets to work freakin’ caring and shit.

Dean can’t do much else but to sit back down at the table and wait for food to be made for him.

He can’t protest in the slightest because he really does want more than coffee. As soon as Cas said it the second time, Dean’s brain flipped from ‘Just Coffee’ to ‘Breakfast’ and wouldn’t flip back no matter what Dean thought. 

He couldn’t say anything to the contrary, couldn’t even shake his head ‘no’. All he could do was stare down the tabletop.

So, he stares and stares and stares at the wood in front of him, until the sight in front of him is changed from particularly swirly knot to honest-to-goodness breakfast smiley face. Eyes made of eggs and a salty bacon smile.

The look on his face must be positively tragic because Cas asks “Is something the matter? Did you want your eggs scrambled instead?”

Dean tries to keep the words at bay, his head shaking no for him.

“Then what is it—”

Dean doesn’t keep his mouth shut hard enough. “It’s hard to get used to…”

Cas is guiet for a moment and a half. “What is?”

“Being someone that someone cares for…”

Cas sets down the other plate he was holding, the green shit all over it giving away that it’s for Sam when he gets back, and sits down kitty-corner to Dean (who’s still staring down the same spot).

“Dean—”

Fuck. He’s let something slip and now all of it’s threatening to spill out after it.

“I’m so used to taking care of others, you know? It’s all I’ve ever known. Take care of Sammy, take care of victims, hell, even taking care of those few terrified spirits that don’t know they’re even doing anything wrong!

“I like to take care of people, I like making sure they have what they need, yeah? But whenever you’re around, you’re the one taking care of me.”

Cas nods, “I do, because I care fo—”

“And I don’t ever tell you how much I really appreciate it, hell, it’s what made me fall in lo—”

Dean snaps his mouth shut. Nope nope nope, not doing that. Never. Cas doesn’t need that shit.

“Dean?”

He finally looks up at the angel beside him. 

Cas’ brows are furrowed, his head tilted slightly in confusion, as if he’s trying his damndest to read Dean’s mind.

Dean’s eyes lock with Castiel’s and…

“I love you Cas.”

He can barely process the holy shit, I said it–god fucking mother— before his mouth is barreling onward. “I’m so in love with you, man, haven’t been the same since that night in the barn.

“I love you when you’re full angel, when you’re human; I loved you when you didn’t even know who we were, when you disappeared after the whole leviathan thing, when you went a little insane and became obsessed with bees…I’ve been slowly falling for you since we met, Cas.” He pauses for only a moment, and is off again in the next breath. “I’ve never felt this way before and I’m terrified, to be honest–” he chuckles sardonically at that, “as if I could be anything else right now.”

Cas’ eyes grow wide. “Dean—” his voice placating in tone.

‘Fuck, of course he’s not going to return the feeling; damn emotions, damn angels, damn motherfucking witches!’ 

“Hey, morning guys! That omelet for me?” Sam interrupts before Dean can be let down fully, loping into the kitchen all flushed and sweaty--ah, so a jog, then.

Dean huffs out a breath, scrubbing his face clear of the couple wayward tears that had snuck down his face. “Yeah, Cas made it for you.”

“Sweet, thanks Cas, I–whoa, Dean, what’s wrong?”

Dean clamps his lips shut once again, stands slowly, and walks out of the kitchen with a short pat to Sam’s shoulder.

#my very first destiel fic!! #and it's angst!! #omfg #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #cas #spn #supernatural #sam winchester #deancas #dean x castiel #spn ficlet #prompt list #noells writes #asks

[mlobsters]

supernatural s13e11 breakdown (w. davy perez)

kind of a trope at this point but the mismatch violence/action plus old time music that's happy or loveydovey, it's a good one. it's funny how the sort of watery reverb of an old song like this, maybe i associate with a particular atmosphere because of the trope, or someone out there just really hit on the right vibe but it can just inherently make something that bit spookier. and nodding to myself that indeed it's a christopher lennertz episode - look in my eyes by the chantels is a great pick. add to the list of things i'm gonna check on rewatch when they used licensed music i was meh about too :p least interesting topic of commentary ever.

the expanse (2015-2022) dominique tipper as naomi nagata / spn s13e11

truck stop woman who seems like she might have a part later's haircut is like naomi's in the expanse and i'm here for it

what's going on with sam not sleeping/wanting to get out of bed? i mean relatable, but get a book maybe. stressing over the nexus being closed and jack is over in spiky world with mom? trying to remember again what cas is doing and why they're not worried/talking about him.

ok see, this is what i'm talking about. some more modern sounding score that isn't melodic is really adds to the mood. it's a little bit true detective there, until the boys show up and it gets more melodic. i'm telling you this show could have had such a richer vibe with better music 😩

oh modern chevy impala, how far you've fallen. don't know exactly what model year that is, but early to mid 2000s. those circular tailights 😬 memorable, i guess

dry cleaning bags, hanging up jackets, what's next on the domestic logistics bingo card. also padalecki looks like he's gonna flex right through that shirt

SAM Do you really wanna get on the FBI’s radar again?

please don't. solid point

DEAN Okay, so what do you wanna do? Hmm? You wanna call up Donna and say “Hey, sorry about your niece. These kinds of things happen. Later.” And head back to the bunker so you can mope some more? SAM I’m not moping. DEAN You got up at 10:00 am this morning. 10:00 am. You, Mr. Rise and Freakin’ Shine. And then you turned down pancakes.

*takes notes* sam usually wouldn't turn down pancakes. ok ✅

SAM I wasn’t hungry. DEAN They’re pancakes. Look, I know you’re in a dark place right now, okay? I mean, we lost Jack. Mom is… I think about ‘em too. All the time. But you can’t let it eat you up. Now look, when I was—when I was broken up, you were there for me. Well, I’m here for you now. And I’m telling you, the only way out of this is through. Now when everything goes to hell, what do we do? We put our heads down and we do the work. We’ll find Jack. We’ll save Mom, we will. But right now, Donna needs our help. Okay?

listen, man. you know i'm here for this kind of conversation but like sam being mopey kind of came out of nowhere and feels just. well dean had a moment, so now sam's gonna have a moment. hokay

think he packed that vest? anticipated the need to be truckery?

creepy preacher guy kind of slots into the vaguely true detective serial killer vibe as well

i feel like i've seen this before lol. trying to pull up my mental bank of cannibal media. maybe thinking of the movie fresh combined with some law and order type show

um. turning doug into a vampire. sure.

CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY And you’re Sam Winchester. You and your brother are famous. Hell, soon as I saw that fancy car, I knew who you were. And I knew you’d be trouble. Tried to give you that preacher, but you saw right through that. So now it’s on to Plan B.

i mean, seriously. that damned car is such a liability, it's dumb

SAM Why are you doing this? CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY Well, ‘cause somebody has to. How many monsters do you think are out there, Sam? You know, if you – you had to guess. SAM Hundreds. Thousands. CLEGG/THE BUTTERFLY Add a zero. Actually, add two. See, those freaks that you and your brother chase, those are just the ones that can’t pass. Either because they’re too mean or they’re too stupid, or both. But most monsters… hell, they could be your next-door neighbor. They work a regular job, mow the lawns on a Saturday. And they need to eat, which is where I come in.

all righty. monster population that can subsist on human parts that have been detached from their human a while ago. and you know, gotta do some fun torture show on the side to sell the product -_-

can't argue with one of them coming to save the other from certain death

can kind of argue with donna getting dumped by doug over hunting. like, very reasonable reaction by a normal human on doug's part but also feels like they arbitrarily had their relationship set up so it could get smashed

SAM Let him go. Donna, when you choose this life, anyone who gets too close, eventually they get hurt. Or worse. So let him go. He’ll be safer that way.

okay, sam. sounds like the little speech dean gave in 13x03 to patience

DEAN I mean, we save people, Sam. SAM Yeah, we also get people killed, Dean. Kaia, for instance. She helped us and she died for it. DEAN Hey, look, I know you’re in some sort of a— SAM No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don’t – don’t… You keep saying I’m in a dark place, but I’m not, Dean. Everything I’m saying is the truth. It’s our lives. And I tried to pretend it didn’t have to be. I tried to pretend we could have Mom back and Cas and – and help Jack. But we can’t. This ends one way for us, Dean. It ends bloody. It ends bad.

bloody or sad, amirite. i have a tag for that

so like again relating to sam because sometimes when i'm being negative i do feel like i'm just being realistic. and he is, but usually he does have a well of optimism. hadn't i complained recently about feeling like sam's always being the reasonable and calm one? (not that i can find it) kind of feels like they needed to kick that out from under him. could have felt a little more organic with just... any amount of buildup beforehand.

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 13x11 #spn bloody or sad #davy perez #spn clip #spn musical score #christopher lennertz

[bryan360]

Here’s my note before I’ll get started….

(DON’T YOU EVER COPY FROM MINE OR MY FRIEND’S WORK, CHARACTERS, AND STUFF IF ONE OF YOU ARE IMPOSTERS WHO HAD HABITS OF PLAGIARISM! I WILL BLOCK YOU FROM MY BLOG IF I SEE YOUR POST WITH MINE OR MY FRIEND’S ORIGINAL WORK BEING EDITED ALL OVER! I’LL EVEN SHARE IT ONTO MY BLOG SO IF EVERYONE WILL SEE THAT YOU TRYING TO COPY MINE OR MY FRIEND’S THINGS FOR NO GOOD REASON WHATSOEVER! That will be all….I mean it.)

What’s up to my good friends and OCs alike? It’s finally time for a very 🎄🎅🏻Merry Christmas of 2022 something to give; including at DA that I posted in the morning. Link Here

Now that’s settled though, it time I’ve promised to one of my closest friends after making such Christmas gifts to their beloved OCs. Thankfully one of my OCs got them delivered just in time for the holidays, but hoping this is far I’m going for of making it through. What that being said, let’s get started for the Speedster family as giving by the Rabbits family and Mikey.

🐰🖌Maxwell: For Spot and Riya, an each Nintendo Switch OLED systems for the first time you two earned. This is our idea after knowing your creator friend really hopes if he can get his own system.

🐰👊💥May: We know about that it’ll be a cost a lot to afford, but we actually did save a lot of money to order online….with our mom and dad’s help though. Hope you two enjoying your system, but make sure to take care of it.

🐰🎤Windy: Same goes for their parents as we giving their gifts as well. Don’t leave them hanging as I giving Rita her VR headset. That’s right, a VR headset that I originally saved it from few years ago than you think. You luckily that we still had some money to afford two Switch system this year.

🐰📚🍌Scottie: Not bad thinking, honey. As for mine when giving to Bonn though, it’s actually my DK boxing gloves that I previously own during school years. I do like this gloves as much for a video game fan, but I think it’ll fits on him when doing boxing practices. Hope he can take care of them.

🦊⚽️Sam: It’s okay, dad. At least giving your gift is better than to buying a new one sometimes. However me and Brown had something for Murukir and Cude to give.

🥜Brown: We went to a plushie store not while back if there any dolls for them to enjoy. So here they are holding Mario and Chowder plushies. Hope this is something to take care as well and during sleep time. It happens where I snuggle things. (In thoughts: with my tail at least.)

🐱Mikey: Cool, man. Though what they wanted really want to have; while snuggling around is have them to listen through chill vibes music. Thankfully for Miya that I’ve picked up ordered Brookstone Cat Ear Headphones. Same way from our creator friend if you remember back in 2017, but had some problems that show its age. Let’s see if her own headphones can hold it up well.

🐰🖌Maxwell: Mhm. Now as a continuation on giving gifts is Baco and his hamburger pillow; because why not? At least knowing he likes hamburgers, right? However is saving for Shadow R and Lisa that me and Emme can agree on….if it’s alright. 😅

🦌🌻Emme: Sure does! Thought that we can give away our clothes to them like the way you’ve do with your Speedster friends and so on. There’s plenty more inside their boxes to open up, but we would’ve brought our A/W clothes if I would to reveal mine. I’ll remember that the next time I can give you guys. It’s a promise. 👍

🐰🖌Maxwell: Mhm. And finally goes for Alex (his OCself) and Sammir when giving away a PS5 from Jumbo and a soccer ball from Sam.

🐘🎮🧹Jumbo: That’s right; especially after working hard with my dad when getting such earnings. Though in Christmas time, I thought it’ll be okay if giving one of our friends as much I was. No worries. 👍

🦊⚽️Sam: Good for you, then. Hope he understand after receiving his gift from yours. As for mine is having our next HTF friend playing his soccer ball that themed colored of a Kickety-Kick Ball. Hope he like this gift I got for him; especially for being a “Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!” fan.

Looks like that all the gifts giving to our friends we’ve work hard saving and spending. Here’s to our closest creator friends have a good festive day of Christmas this year. However you may wait for a bit of revealing my own gifts because it didn’t arrived just yet. Sorry if it takes time after convincing my mom which gifts I’m getting this year. Hope everyone understand. Anyways, have a good Christmas Day of 2022 and ahead for new year!

The Speedster Family, Cude, and Murukir created by my P-Pal; @murumokirby360

Shadow R created by @carmenramcat

Lisa created by LadyFeliz (formerly known as LisaDots123)

Alex (his OCself) and Baco created by @alexander1301

Sammir created by @rafacaz4lisam2k4

#art post #digital art post #digital artwork #christmas #christmas 2022 #merry christmas #merry christmas 2022 #art gifts #christmas art gifts #for my friends #for my closest friends #for their ocs #december 2022 #december 25th 2022

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Mikey is now at Brian’s loft: ‘mike, fix the mess you made. Poor Bri Bri, he looks so bad (he now paused the episode to laugh at Brian’s Chernobyl line. He is so easily impressed with Brian) mike..i doubt he will ever eat chicken soup, he barely eats. FOR FUCKS SAKE BRIAN STOP BEING A BITCH AND ACCEPT SOME HELP. *lets out an actual gasp* IS MIKEY GONNA STAND UP FOR JUSTIN?! TELL HIM MIKE! YES HE IS HIS LOVER! YES! FINALLY MIKE, THAT WAS A SHITTY WAY TO TREAT HIM! I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.’ Brian says Justin wouldve left anyway ‘what the fuck? Says who? He wouldnt leave you! I cant decide if this is his anger over cancer or what but dudeeeeee stop it! Go back to Justin, if not for you, do it for me’ And we are at Drew’s party ‘im sorry what did he just say? What a piece of shit. Spit in his food. Oooor talk to him..i guess that’s more mature. Yeah, tell this little bitch that he’s a little bitch!’ ‘Im sorry but i just doubt that Lindsay would miss these classes! I mean come on she was all insane over being a mom in the beginning? What is this bullshit? Its giving straight men vibe, you know what I mean?’ And we are at Mikey and Justins scene ‘COME ON BLONDIE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GO TO OUR MAN! There is no way he’d just let him go like that when Brian is sick. This is bullshit. MIKE DO SOMETHING. (Justin says brian being sick doesnt concern him anymore and he pauses tv) what the fuck is this bullshit?! Nah. Maybe if something horrible happened, id get this. Id even get this during the *makes a grossed out face* ethan era but now? Fuck no. Our boyfriend has cancer and he’s just chill? After he cried and held him the way he did?! Who the fuck wrote this shit? *clicks play* TELL HIM MIKE! fucks sake Justin! Use your big brain! Exactly Mike! GO TO HIM JUSTIN, OH COME ON!!!’ And we are at lindsay and sam scene ‘oh for fucks sake. What is this bullshit and why do I have to suffer it? My baby Bri Bri is sick, my baby Blondie is being stubborn and not listening to me and they think I care about whatever this is.’ He just fake gagged and made a grossed out face to sam and lindsay hugging. And we are at Ben/Mike scene ‘you know what? I never thought id say this but Mike deserves better. He’s been so supportive of Ben and even kept quiet about his own success only for this dick to be a dick to him. I now like mike so he deserves better.’ And we are at Drew/Em scene!! ‘Ugh him again. Fuck you dude bro. Emmett be careful! Something is off about this guy. (Drew makes a move on Emmett) um..what is going on? THIS IS WHAT THAT JUSTIN AND BRIAN FIGHT SCENE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE! Wait..what the fuck dude? I thought he was straight? Okay get it em..i think’ and back to Ben and his student ‘i dont like this shit. What the fuck is this shit? Why is everyone acting so fucking weird and stupid?’ ‘BRIAN! You’re supposed to be resting. He looks like shit. Bri, go home please and call Justin. *he giggled like a little kid* i like how Ted and I both call him Bri. Yes, go home and call JUSTIN FOR FUCKS SAKE! (Brian walks in his loft to Justin cooking) JUSTIN! BLONDIE IS HERE!!! HE MADE HIM SOUP! Brian stop being a bitch! YES BLONDIE TELL HIM. (justin snapped at Brian) OH MY GOD! TELL HIM BABY! YOU GO GIRL! EXACTLY HE CANT HANDLE THIS ON HIS OWN! YOU GO BABY! YEAH BRIAN WHY WOULD YOU THINK HED LEAVE! Babies, before this goes bad, how about none of us leave? *stands up and literally puts his hands in the air and claps* YES GET YOUR ASS BACK IN BED AND EAT CHICKEN SOUP! I guess he will eat soup. HA! Remember when Debbie said he met his match?’ He then paused on Britin in bed at the end and walked to the tv and pointed at it while looking at me and went ‘THIS! THIS IS ALL I WANT! Is that too much to ask for? Now give me the next episode!’

I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.

Forever is a long long time, I’m curious how he’s going to react to S5 Mikey…

Lindsay would absolutely not miss the birthing classes. That was so out of character. CowLip really did not care what they did with their lesbian representation.

Ben is such a shit in this whole storyline. Michael has the bad luck to be with men who seemingly like him partially because his career is less impressive than their (Dr. David I’m looking at you.) Toxic masculinity, you even infect the queer men.

Okay his entire reaction to the chicken soup line (YOU GO GIRL) just made my night.

Brian did meet his match in Justin. That’s why they are OTP.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023