#Stupid Genius review

[absolutebl]

This week in BL - I am all over the place, But Laws of Attraction is Phenomenal af

July 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Thai Sat iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Icky picked it up but it’s not airing for me until Sundays so I held this post specifically to watch and talk about this show. Stars the pair from To Sir With Love with the same production team. IT’S SO GOOD Y’ALL. A morally corrupted trickster lawyer with a tragic past, sad eyes, and a beautiful smile that he uses like a weapon. Meets paladin martial arts instructor from other side of the tracks (who is out, at least to his baby sister). Corrupt police. Spoiled rich kid evil. Ambitious politician. Tragic death. Terrible subs.* This show is very like Manner of Death but so far it is a much better/tighter story. It’s NOT BL but it is fucking phenomenal. And you shoudl watch it. Not wait to binge it. WATCH IT. On a global scale this might be the best thing currently airing featuring gay romantic leads. Its really fucking good. It’s Lawless Lawyer but more complex character motivation and gay af. Fuck yes please and thank you. FINALLY. Triggers for violence, beatings, death & torture depicted on screen. Like MoD they are not holding back.  (* A lot of the familial names they are using are not gendered in Thai but translated as such, like “nephew”. This one is gonna go down a lot easier if you know some Thai.)

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 12fin - 2 years pass and no one’s hairstyle changes? Srs. Them meeting again = hella AWKWARD. Both still pining & hurt. NO SINGING. The reconciliation scene was great. I enjoyed that on the “do over relationship” they went with phi/pom (instead of the super formal khuns). So cute and so much more relaxed. Also lots of neck kisses! Charming final ep. It’s only flaw being they dropped the side couple, but I wasn’t really into them anyway. Ultimately? This is what Boss & Babe should have been and could we please have Up lead out another BL? I miss him and he only gets prettier. Full review below.

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 12fin - I adore the tiny little baby GL thread that we almost got. And I wish we had had more of it throughout the show. The side couple turned out to be good too. Emotional crying kisses are my favorite. Sunshine netted himself an earnest serious romantic boy, we likey. As for the main couple? Well... Tai’s search story arc was dull and dragging in a final ep and it felt bloated and slow as a result. It was a good confession reunion with Tai figuring all of his shit out, not surprising but fine. Kind of a a weak final ep. Full review below. 

Hidden Agenda (Thai Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - JoonDunk are back and we have all seen this a million times before, but Thailand never executed a successful formula it didn’t want to repeat a million times over, drunk bathroom and everything. Welcome (back) to Thai BL (and back and back and back). Basically they just added glasses, a new 1-shared-brain-cell friendship group, and different uni departments. Ah GMMTV, forever trying to recreate the magic of 2gether. But also I’m enjoying it. I’m a simple person. (Hi Jamie! Still in college since 2018 I see.) Anyone else notice that Chinese phrase that they did not translate for us? Mmm hum. Cute. Still... NO SINGING. 

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 2 of 8 - Thames is in coma and getting slagged off on the socials. It’s moving a bit slowly but the premise is interesting despite the poor quality of the execution. 

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 8 eps - Major trigger for self harm depicted on screen in part 2/4. I skipped it. Then there is assault and verbal abuse. I told you Ultimate Troop is NOT to be trusted. 

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 2 of 12 - Look, I don’t really mind this show but I also don’t like second hand embarrassment and I sense a metric butt ton incoming.

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 8 of 12 - I was not best pleased with this episode. Ya’ll round the tumblr-sphere seem to be enjoying it but I have officially hit the wall on Kawi. There is not enough booze for me to cope with his shizz. I may be alone in this. But gotta say how I feel... Unlike him. Trash watch here.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Tokyo in April is... AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - Poor Ren, he feels compelled to take on the burden of protecting everyone from sexual assault because he blames himself. And he can’t even talk to his boyfriend about it. Oh fuck me the pair of shoes at the door. And neck kisses? TOO MUCH. Argh. Japan. Why must you hurt so good? 

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 3 of 10 eps - It’s a very cute show. All the tropes and archetypes with no fuss or attempts to be clever, just executing them (sometimes over and over again). Even hiccoughs as a result of flirting! I haven’t seen that one in ages. The show feels old fashioned as a result. Nostalgic. I’m good with that. 

Tie The Not (Pinoy YouTube) ep 6 of 8 - Sad boys still sad now drunk. (Noooooo shoes on bed! Argh.) Finally kisses! Also good ones for a large portion of this ep. Plus hair pulling. And verse rep! And after sex convo. Then side dishes have a whole proper gay ax covo about top/bottom. Everyone say thank you Philippines! get down with your queer selves! 

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 6fin - I believe this was the final episode. It was cute. This is a standard sort of semi-crappy VBL high school drama. Enjoyable in its floppy friendliness, weirdly like a queer after school special promoting education. Dead fish kisses but fine for what it is. 7/10 

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 2 of 12 eps - Activate cohabitation trope. They okay bfs. Minato not as frustrating this week, but still frustrating for me and Shin. Next week = cute outfits and dumb miscommunication yay!

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 11 of 12 - again it didn’t show up on my dash in time for this. I’ll pop it into next week. 

It’s airing but ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly English & set in LA (shudder) so I’m not bothering.

Stay With Me ... NO I WILL NOT! And you can’t make me.

Ended This Week

Step By Step Series Review  

This was Thailand’s answer to The New Employee, and everything I loved about that show I loved about this one. This was an office romance between stern boss and sweet subordinate that felt more authentic to an office environment than previous Thai BLs of this ilk. And that authenticity added tension to the narrative and character development (how novel). Now that might be because it has western source material, or it might be because it is actually kind of old-fashioned (it’s been years since I worked as an office grunt). I also really enjoyed the brothers’ relationship, and kinda wished they hadn’t attempted (and failed) to give said brother his own side BL. That one flaw made it a 9/10 for me. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

La Pluie Series Review

This BL takes to task the fated mates trope and what it means to have love chained intimately to predestination. It’s about how faith in destiny before choice diminishes the authenticity of emotion, relationships, and connection. This is a high concept to examine through the lens of a BL. By activating + examining the soulmates trope this show is challenging a foundation of romance: the idea that there is one person meant to be your one romantic partner all your life. This means that we, as viewers, spend much of the show worried about it having a happy ending, and that’s the source of both its brilliance and tension: would the narrative have the strength to truly challenge its own romantic core? But, ultimately, all this elevated complexity was executed in a somewhat shaky manner with the narrative derailing into some serious pacing issues and characters manipulated by miscommunication. However, with good chemistry and decent acting all around, plus some excellent high heat and representation of consent and a few other rare tropes, this one has to (like it’s sibling show My Ride) earn a 9/10. I enjoyed it even as it made me think, so despite its flaws: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:  

7/19 Wedding Plan (Thai Wed YouTube & iQIYI)  - It's Mame and she's coming for our GL. She's such a misogynist IMAGINE what we will get with a GL side dish? It's going to be absolute carnage. To crane your neck as you drive by the car wreck or not? That is the question. Me? I'm wallowing in the guts. Trying to decide to trash watch or not... 

7/20 Jun & Jun (Korea Thu Viki) - From 2022 I CAN’T FUCKING WAIT! So excited for this one. 

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

FYI roselle juice is made from hibiscus (a flower) so technically neither a tea nor a juice. (Hidden Agenda)

Tie the Not = all the verse rep this ep. I love this for them. 

The giggling was SO DAMN CUTE (Step by Step, na?) 

We all guessed it but it was still fun. (Stupid Genius) Also miracles of miracles, two actors who actually look like they could be brothers play brothers. 

First time I’ve seen faen translated as significant other. (Laws of Attraction)

THE PAIN! (Tokyo) 

(Last week.)

#this week in BL #BL gossip #bl news #upcoming BL #July 2023 BL #BL reviews #korean bl #japanese bl #thai bl #Vietnamese bl #pinoy bl #taiwanese bl #live action yaoi #Rakutan Viki #gagaoolala #GMMTV #Laws of Attraction #Step By Step review #La Pluie review #Stupid Genius review #Hidden Agenda the series #Low Frequency the series #Dinosaur Love #Be Mine Super Star #Shigatsu no Tokyo wa #Stay By My Side the series #\Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 #Tie The Not #Manner of Death #Lawless Lawyer

[hwiyoungies]

shittiest thing about this whole svt using ai thing is that you know they won't hear any criticism whatsoever because fans are obsessed with telling them they can do no wrong. like everyone is doing now they'll just brush it off as "haters" and not genuine criticism and concern and fans wanting a quality product and not whatever shitshow this is

#you can't say anything now without it being brushed off as just being a hater #like no dude!!! i've been into this group for fucking Years #and seeing them do this. even if the idea is a critique. fucking sucks man #because they could've 100% done it without any use of ai #instead they're giving it a bigger plataform by using it on their fucking mv #it's like that bullshit of buying a product from a company to do a ''genuine review'' #and saying it sucks but you still gave the company money so it's pointless #and some people are saying it's a genius move. it's not it's fucking stupid #b.txt

[deadpresidents]

I don't read a ton of books about science or scientists, but Katie Spalding's book, Edison's Ghosts: The Untold Weirdness of History's Greatest Geniuses (BOOK | KINDLE | AUDIO), which was released in May, is easily one of the most entertaining books I've read in the past couple of years.

When you're sitting down to read a book by someone with a PhD in mathematics, you don't expect it to be fun from cover-to-cover, let alone flat-out funny. In fact -- and I know that the fine folks at Hachette won't be able to use this in a blurb -- but Dr. Spalding's book is fucking hilarious! And that description is especially fitting because Katie Spalding had to have set some sort of record for creative profanity in a book primarily about science and scientists, an achievement that only makes Edison's Ghosts more entertaining by the chapter.

Speaking of chapters, I can't do justice to Dr. Spalding or Edison's Ghosts -- which was published in Harding's native UK under the even better title of The Limits of Genius: How Some of the World's Greatest Minds Were Surprisingly Stupid -- with a couple of quick paragraphs, so I'm just going to share some of the actual titles of the chapters of the book from the table of contents so you can get a hint of how amazing this book truly is:

1. The Mathematical Cult Leader Pythagoras, and His Incredibly Stupid Death 2. Confucius Was an Ugly Nerd with Low Self-Esteem 3. Never, Ever Hire Leonardo da Vinci 4. Galileo Utterly Fails to Read the Room 6. When René Descartes Got Baked 10. Émilie du Châtelet Cares Not for Your Social Mores, and She Will Fight You in Her Underwear to Prove It 13. Lord Byron, the Patron Saint of Fuckboys 16. John Couch Adams Ignores His Mail, Loses Neptune 18. Charles Darwin: Glutton; Worm Dad; Murderer? 20. Sigmund Freud Used Cocaine So Much He Thought Numbers Wanted to Kill Him 21. Arthur Conan Doyle Gets Pranked So Hard He Claims Fairies Exist 23. Real-Life Supervillain Nikola Tesla Takes the Term 'Pigeon Fancying' a Bit Too Literally 24. Marie Curie Defies All the Odds to Accidentally Poison Both Herself and Thousands of Strangers 25. Albert Einstein: Public Nuisance, Love Rat 29. Yukio Mishima and the Shortest, Gayest Fascist Coup in History 30. NASA Forgets about Women, Toilets and the Metric System

And those are just SOME of the actual chapter titles. If you don't want to read Edison's Ghosts: The Untold Weirdness of History's Greatest Geniuses after that taste, you're as big of an idiot as many of history's geniuses, as Katie Spalding so colorfully reveals in this brilliant book, available now from Hachette Book Group's Little, Brown and Company

#Books #Edison's Ghosts #Katie Spalding #Edison's Ghosts: The Untold Weirdness of History's Greatest Geniuses #Hachette #Little Brown and Company #Hachette Book Group #The Limits of Genius #The Limits of Genius: How Some of the World's Greatest Minds Were Surprisingly Stupid #Book Suggestions #Book Reviews #Book Recommendations #Science #Scientists #Genius #Geniuses #Biographies #Scientist Biographies

[brunetterightsactivist]

no please remember when the needle drop called lana an industry plant.....i have no idea what other dumb bs he's said because i've truly only seen like probably 3 of his videos but like i feel like that was enough for me to decide yeah maybe i'm not gonna listen to this dude's opinions

#like shed been performing and was signed to another label and had a failed album launch and total rebrand and resigned to a different label #i'm not a genius but that's definitely not an industry plant. and that info is like pretty well documented if u just looked her up #im sure hes said stupid shit about other artists but i think i've only seen literally like his lana reviews sdhgkfjhgk #'reviews'

[fandxmslxt69]

Terrible Liar

Avenger!Loki x Avenger!f!reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of injury (reader has a nasty ass wound), mentions of blood and medical supplies, Loki and reader are both assholes to each other but its FUNNY. Rushed plot bc this came to me in a fever dream. Maybe some bad grammar, run on sentences etc. Ignore those ahaha. this is NOT edited or reviewed AT ALL. she's as raw as they come.

A/N: This came to be in a fever dream. Btw. Like God sent it to me. I'm sorry if it feels rushed I was so desperate to get it all down I blacked out. IT'S 5K OKAY MY BAD AHAHAH i'm kind of a slut for this kind of trope so MY BAD. anyway this is for THE @sarahscribbles 's Christmas Celebration!! Sorry I'm a little late, these two wouldn't shut the fuck up so I got carried away. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ENJOY SARAH I LOVE YOU <3

Synopsis: What could possibly go wrong with spending a night sharing a room with Loki? (aka: enemies to lovers + one bed trope)

Word count: 5K

Oh man. You watched Loki bang the hood of the car in anger. That can’t be good. 

You rested your head against the window of the stolen car, taking deep breaths. You could feel your whole body shaking from the adrenaline. You hadn’t calmed down a single bit since the ride out here. How long has it been? Probably less than an hour. You had no idea how far out you were from the nearest town and it absolutely was not the right time for this car to stop. Your entire body hurt from getting kicked in the ass repeatedly during the fight, and your head spun. Your left side throbbed and your shoulder screamed in agony. Not to mention, you are completely separated from the rest of the group, and you have no means of communication. Somewhere along the way, you had lost your comm, and your spare was of no use. Loki said the lines were down anyway, so it wasn’t much help to begin with. 

Speaking of the devil, he threw the door of the car open, letting in the chill winter air, and huffed as he got back in, slamming the door behind him. “Stupid, useless vehicle. What is the point of transportation if it fails so easily?” He grumbled.

“It’s out of gas, genius,” “Well it’s not making for a very efficient getaway car,” He ran a hand through his hair. “Well?” You looked at him expectantly, but he only looked back with an expression of confusion. You sat up straighter to face him, but your vision blurred and your head swam. It took you a minute to collect yourself. “We can;t just sit here, we’ll freeze to death,” Loki scoffed. “No I won’t,” You clenched your jaw. “Okay, I’ll freeze to death,” “Tragedy,” His tone was dead as he pulled out his phone to mess with. “I’ll let them know it was a heroic death,” “You’re such an asshole,” “How original,” You nearly growled. “Laufeyson,” “Agent,” He replied smoothly, looking up at you with one of those disarming grins. You were not falling for it. You may be delirious and crashing soon, but you were not falling for Loki’s charms. 

“We need to figure something out,” “You mean I need to figure it out,” “Oh my fucking god. I’m not gonna sit here like some passenger princess-” “Agent, you are trembling so hard you couldn’t even walk a foot much less help out in this little dilemma,” Loki interrupted. “I have no desire to starve out here, and horrifyingly, I can’t find it in my heart to let you die out here either. I’ll figure it out,” 

You grumbled under your breath, and you were certain he heard you because he grinned wider and went back to messing with his phone. 

He was right though, you were shaking really hard- both from the adrenaline and now, the cold. Whenever you exhaled, a puff of white air formed in front of you, and the tip of your nose was starting to go numb. The idea of leaving your fate at the moment in the hands of Loki was an absolutely horrifying idea, since you knew how reckless this guy tended to be. But you didn’t have much of a choice, and as much as it physically pained you to sit quietly and wait, you did just that. It was made another fifteen minutes before Loki peeled his eyes away from the phone pad. He opened the door to the car, and stepped out. 

“Hey!” You yelled. “Where the hell are you going? Close the goddamn door!” But of course, he didn’t bother answering or listening. He looked around, staring at his phone occasionally before surveying the area again. And just when you thought he couldn’;t get more insane, he started walking away from the car. Your heart squeezed in your chest. Was he going to leave you here? Like hell he was. You kicked open your door, shakingly getting out of the car. You were vaguely aware of the stab of pain at your side that nearly had you doubled over as black spots danced in your vision, but you willed yourself to push it aside. You slammed the door shut as you walked out after Loki. 

“Hey!” You yelled out to him. You had no idea if he could even hear you with the way the wind howled and snow whipped at your face. It was freezing cold, snow biting your cheeks and your teeth chattering after being out here for less than a few minutes. “Laufeyson!” You yelled louder, arm clutching your side and limping in the direction he walked in. No answer. You were positive a storm was kicking up. 

“Loki!” You screamed this time, as loud as your voice let you. Your chest heaved, your throat hurt, and the air you gulped stung so bad you were so close to never breathing it again. 

“Loki! God help me, Loki, when I find you!” You looked around slowly, yet all you saw was the outline of your stolen car in the winds, and white. So much white. “I’ll haunt you, you know!” You shouted into the wind. “If I die here, I’ll haunt you forever!” You had to shield your eyes from the harsh snow as you yelled. You knew he couldn’t hear you, but you also knew that he couldn’t have gotten too far. How long could he even last out here? Damn it, he could probably last a while. 

Stupid, horrible, arrogant Loki. You contemplated going back to the car, but decided that if you were going to imagine a million and one ways to kill and haunt Loki for eternity, you might as well do it while freezing out here. You were only at number fifteen of your haunting possibilities when you heard his stupidly smooth voice. “What in the Nine Realms do you think you’re doing out here?”

You whirled around to find him standing there, absolutely unaffected by the weather or your situation. His cheeks were rosy and his pretty hair was up in a bun (that was more falling apart than anything) and pretty snowflakes hung in the curls. 

He looked….well. He looked heavenly, to say the least. 

“I was out here looking for you,” You shot back as harshly as you could, but with the way your teeth chattered and the small smirk that tugged at his lips, it didn’t seem to be working. “You should have stayed in the car,” He sounded almost…angry. Why the hell would he be angry when he left you behind? Although, the frown and furrowed brows were a little cute. “You shouldn’t have wandered off and left me behind,” “I was coming to get you,” “Like hell you were,” “I was,” He stepped closer to you, and you had to hold back everything to not huddle up closer to him like a goddamn penguin. He snapped his fingers and you felt something warm and heavy fall on your shoulders. “Put that on. We’re leaving,” 

“Leaving?! Where the hell are we leaving?! Do I need to remind you that we are stranded in the middle of a storm?!” 

Loki grumbled as he forcefully got you into the jacket he conjured. You didn’t bother saying thank you, which was fine because he only kept glaring at you before marching ahead. 

“Where are you going?!” He didn’t bother answering. “Loki!” Assshit. You grumbled and huffed the entire time as you hurried after him, trying to block off the tingling ache at your side. You knew you didn’t get stabbed. Maybe it’s a big cut. You were certain you’d know if a knife had lodged itself into your side. 

You had no idea where Loki was taking you but you kept your mouth shut in hopes that it was someplace warm and safe. 

“Your hair looks like shit,” You blurted out. Okay, maybe not always keeping your mouth shut.

He looked at you from the corner of his eye. “You don’t look much better,” “Yeah but I said it first,” “Maybe I should have left you in the car,” “I would’ve still found you,” “Yes, haunting me forever,” “You heard that?!” He shrugged. “I was heading back to the car. You weren’t exactly quiet,” You stared at him with wide eyes. “And you didn’t even say anything,” “I found it too amusing to interrupt,” You frowned, shoving him with your shoulder. Wrong move apparently, because your vision started spinning and your knees nearly buckled. Loki wrapped an arm around you ever so gently, as if scared you’d shatter otherwise. “Stop talking,” He snapped. “And stop being so damn aggressive. I would like to make this journey without you collapsing on me,” “I’m not going to collapse,” You mumbled. “You always were a terrible liar,” He muttered under his breath, and more or less carried you to your destination. At first, you didn’t let him, but he won eventually, like he always did, and you leaned the rest of your weight onto him. 

You had no idea where you were until you reached the smack middle of a small town. A picture perfect fantasy, almost. Little houses and small shops lined with lights and trees and covered in snow. It was like stepping into a Hallmark movie. Each house was so full of light, and even through the howling wind, you could hear the sounds of laughter and shrieking children. 

How the hell did Loki find this place? “There’s a motel here. We’ll book rooms, spend the night. I’m sure there’s Wi-Fi too,” Loki sounded like he was talking more to himself than you. 

“Freaking out?” You asked. 

“Yes. I’m thinking of which way Stark will kill me if you die,” “Pfft. Tony wouldn’t kill you,” Loki raised his eyebrows but stayed quiet as he walked you both through the town. The storm was clearly picking up, and you were thankful that he had all those genes to keep him alive in this weather, and that he was able to find this place. 

When you reached the motel- which appeared to be the only one in town- you couldn’t help smiling (even if you couldn’t feel your face at all anymore). It was a cute little building, rustic and heartwarming. Little snowmen lined the front, and a bed jingled as you and Loki entered. The inside was even better, with burgundy and gold designs and wallpaper that looked like it came straight out of a Victorian novel. It was cozy, and more importantly, warm. 

You almost sobbed in relief as you practically collapsed onto an armchair by the counter. Your body sank into it, your nerves singing in joy as you slowly felt your fingertips again. 

“Are you alright?” Loki asked. 

You nodded. “Yup,” He made a sound of disapproval. “You need to lie better,” “Go shove your head through the wall,” You muttered back. He only grinned. Loki didn’t even appear fazed or relieved at the warmth, and simply marched up to the counter. There was no one there, and he rang the bell at least five times. 

“Would you stop that?” You snapped after the sixth time.

“It’s a bell. It’s meant to be used,” “Not like that,” “It’s how you call for attention,” “Well I’m sure whoever runs this place will be here shortly,” He lasted a whole two minutes before he hit the bell again. 

“Loki,” You hissed. 

“Just a minute!” You heard a cheery voice call from the back, and a short old lady appeared, seemingly out of breath. “Sorry about that, all those damn stairs,” She chuckled to herself.

Loki flashed her a smile. “It’s not a problem at all,” “Oh my,” The old woman smiled back but this time you swore up and down she blushed a little. 

Loki and his stupid, disarming smile. 

“My…friend and I are a little caught in this storm,” He started, gesturing to you. You waved weakly at the lady and mustered up a smile. She probably thought you were crazy. You had no idea how you looked, but you knew it wasn’t how a normal person should. 

“We were wondering if you had any available rooms for the night. Just two is fine,” He turned back to the lady with an even bigger smile. 

“Well,” She smiled wider at Loki. “I’ll see what I can do,” He nodded, “Thank you…” he squinted at her name tag. “Lucy. Thank you very much, Lucy,” And there Lucy went, blushing and grinning at him again. 

Horrible, absolutely tragic. The poor woman had no idea how insufferable Loki was. 

Lucy rummaged through her desk, seemingly looking for keys to the rooms. She pulled out one, placing it on the counter, before going back to look for the other. You waited, tagging your foot on the wood floor, staring at the cute fireplace. Your whole body hummed in gratitude, and your feet tingle, feeling back in them. 

“Oh dear,” Lucy muttered to herself. 

“Everything alright Lucy?” Loki asked. 

“It seems that I only have a single room available. This storm has the place booked fully,” She explained. 

Hell no. 

Loki sighed. “Very well-” “Are you sure?” You interrupted him. “Can you check again?” You probably sounded desperate, but you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You can’t share a room with Loki. You’d go crazy. You’d do something disastrous- like give in to the urge to cuddle into his chest! Or God forbid, tangle your hand in his hair. 

“I did, hon. I’m afraid this is all I’ve got,” She said apologetically. 

Fuuuuck. 

“It’s quite alright, Lucy. There’s two beds in the room, correct? I’m sure we can manage to share a room for a night,” Loki said hastily before you could interrupt again. 

Lucy opened her mouth, as if to say something else, before she stopped. “Alright,” “How much is it for the night, darling?” Oh okay, he was really laying it on thick then. 

“Oh- oh um…” Lucy chuckled nervously. “This room….it’s 150$ for the night. You can pay in the morning, if you prefer,” “Nonsense,” Loki smiled, pulling out cash from the pocket in his top armour, counting the bills. “Here you go, Lucy,” He handed her the money. “Thank you so very much for your help,” She nodded wordlessly as she handed him the key. Loki took it and turned back to you, arms on his hips. “Are you coming, or must I carry you?” “I wouldn’t mind being carried…” You started jokingly. Apparently, Loki couldn’t read the room, because he frowned, shrugged and then walked over, picking you up effortlessly. 

“Hey-!” You started to protest, but a sudden wave of pain shot through you, shutting you up. “I was joking,” You muttered.

“Mhm,” He said, shooting Lucy another smile before heading upstairs to your room. The stairs were cute too, you noticed, lined with a soft matt and cute lamps lined the walls. And Loki’s chest was really warm, and- that had nothing to do with the motel. 

Before your thoughts could get any more dangerous, Loki stopped in front of a room, hand rummaging through his back pocket to get the key. “You can put me down now,” “I’ll put you down when I feel like it,” Shithead. 

He unlocked the door and stepped in, closing it behind him with his foot. All businesslike, he walked over to the big bed and placed you down on it. It was comfy, and you had to control yourself from not falling back and getting it dirty in all your blood and gore. Loki looked you over. “Fine?” You nodded. “Fine,” He smiled and you were certain he was going to call you a liar but you stopped him. “Laufeyson?” “What?” “Where’s the other bed?” Loki froze, looking around the room slowly. “Oh,” “Oh?” He looked back at you. “It seems, darling, that there is no other bed,” “No fucking shit! You’re sleeping on the floor,” He looked at you in disbelief. “Absolutely not. We can share the bed like civilised people,” “Everyone always says that! And then it never works out!” You threw your hands up. You winced, immediately dropping your hands to hold your side. “Everyone? Who the hell is everyone?” “The movies, duh,” He stared at you. “You’re serious,” “Dead,” He ran a hand down his face. “Alright. We’ll split the bed or something. I truly don’t care enough. I simply want to sleep,” You shrugged. “Fine. Go shower first, then I’ll go in,” “I don’t have clothes to change out of, genius,” “You’re a god genius,” You replied mockingly. “I’m pretty sure you can snap your fingers and get us some clothes,” He stared at you, like he hadn’t had that thought at all. “Right.” And indeed, with a snap of his fingers, a pile of clothes appeared on the bed, and one in his hands. “Try not to get yourself killed,” “I hope you drown in the shower,” He smiled at you before heading into the washroom. You were finally alone, even for a few minutes. You breathed a sigh of relief. Being around Loki always ended with one of you flustered. Tragically, it tended to be you. You looked through the pile of clothes Loki summoned- a plain shirt that appeared way too large, and some plaid pants. They weren’t outrageous. You just had to make sure you hadn’t lost any limbs. 

You slowly peeled off the layers of your top- the jacket, weapons, cash, your useless comms and phone- and then unzipped your equally-useless-in-the-cold vest. You laid all your things on the floor, not wanting to get the bed dirty. Then, slowly, you lifted your top just under your chest, sucking in a deep breath.

Fuck. 

There was a nasty looking cut, starting from right under your ribs and nearly crossing the other side. You didn’t think it looked terrible, but you are almost certain it needed stitches. It wasn’t bleeding too much, but that might have to do with being out in the cold for too long than anything else- even your top was more or less soaked in blood. 

You didn’t even have a first aid kit. You traced around the cut slowly, wincing when it hurt. You prayed it wasn’t infected. 

“Alright, hm?” Your head snapped up to see Loki freshly showered and changed, his now useless mission suit nowhere in sight. “Um, yeah, I’m fine,” His jaw ticked. “You’re hurt,” “Yeah but I’m fine,” “You are bleeding,” He sounded ...angry. Was he mad at you? “It’s not like I did it on purpose,” You snapped. 

He clenched and unclenched his fists. He opened his mouth to say something, before he shook his head and stormed out of the room. 

“What the fuck? You called out after him. He didn’t answer as the door slammed behind him. 

You had no clue why he had to be so mad. It’s not like you chose to get hurt, and you certainly weren’t going to ask him for anything, so why’d he get so pissy? You grumbled to yourself as you grabbed the clothes, heading into the bathroom to scrub off the day. 

It took you a solid twenty minutes to wash everything out. You were very careful to not open your cut further, taking warm water to wash off the dried blood around it. 

You tugged on the plain shirt as you stepped out of the bathroom. You winced when you reached up to tie your hair, deciding to just leave it down to dry. You had thrown your old clothes on the pile of Loki’s in the bathroom, and used a spare towel to press against your wound. 

“Welcome back,” You said sarcastically when you found Loki sitting on the bed. 

“Come here,” He said curtly. 

“You can’t just order me around after you walk out you know? And you can’t get bitchy with me for no fucking reason-” “Will you please come sit down so you can look at your wound,” Loki snapped, but it didn’t sound harsh. It was almost…pleading. You froze in your spot, blinking slowly at him. His voice sounded devastated and in your daze, you nodded, slowly walking over to sit on the bed beside him. 

“May I?” He gestured to your shirt and you nodded again. He lifted it over your head, and suddenly you were thankful for putting on the sports bra Loki brought with your clothes.. “You didn’t say anything,” He whispered. 

You swallowed. This was too freaky. You never got this close with Loki. “We-...we had other things to worry about,” You swore his hands trembled as he reached into the first aid kit beside him. Where did he get that? Did he run out to buy one? Damn it. You and Loki didn’t do fluffy shit. The one day you needed him to be an asshole….

He took his time cleaning the wound, and you tried your best to keep your yelps of pain down. 

“Do you want stitches?” Loki asked in a soft tone. He looked ...frightened. And why too pale. Did he get squirm-ish at this stuff?

“Are you a medical professional?” You asked. 

“Farthest thing from it,” You hummed. “Just wrap it up,”

He nodded, grabbing some cotton pads and the gauze. He carefully placed the pads onto the wound, and began wrapping the gauze around your waist. His fingers brushed against your skin, and you shivered at the touch. 

“There,” He exhaled, pulling his hands away. “You can put your shirt back on,” “Yeah,” You nodded. You should definitely grab it now. You should probably put it on. But you didn’t move a muscle, not with the way Loki stared at you, and the way his eyes dipped lower occasionally. He looked away, appearing flustered, his fists clenched on his thighs. “Loki?” “What?” He snapped. 

“Why are you so angry?” “You could have died,” His voice died down to nothing but a desperate whisper. “You could have died,” You opened your mouth to protest, to say that you had it under control and that everything was fine, but he shook his head. 

“Don’t you dare say everything was ‘fine’. You’re still such a terrible liar,” You weren’t. He just had that freaky ability to tell when you lied every damn time. 

“You could have died. Human life is so horribly fragile, you could have died at any second. What was I to do then, hm? Stare at your lifeless body?” “I thought you’d rejoice at my death,” You joked, trying to break the tension. His eyes snapped to look at yours, his jaw clenched and his eyes wide with fear. You thought he’d say something, but instead he just leaned in, crushing his lips harshly against yours. Before you could even react, he pulled away, breathing heavily. 

“I would have died too. In the simplest terms, my heart would have stopped working the minute yours did too,” You froze in shock, staring at him with wide eyes. What just happened? Your lips tingled from the kiss. You wanted him to do it again. “What the hell are you saying, Loki?” “I’m saying that you are incredibly stupid and idiotic and completely selfish. And that I would rather die than live a life without you in it,” He started, his tone angry and desperate. Your head was spinning. Maybe there was drugs in the linen of this bed. Or maybe Loki hit his head. 

“Say something,” Loki pleaded now, the fight gone from him. “I’m sorry if I offended you. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass. I can’t help myself. I go crazy every time you’re around. I can’t think straight and I….I don’t know what to do with myself. I’ve never done this before. I thought perhaps if I annoyed you enough, I’d get you out of my head. But Norns, every time you shot some clever remark back, it only egged me on more,” He was rambling at this point. 

You felt confused, but at the same time a sense of relief washed over you. It wasn’t like you were in love with Loki- but you definitely didi entertain the idea of occasionally making out with him or spending the day shopping together. 

So maybe it was a little crush. 

And fuck, it was a relief to hear him blurt out how helpless he was with you. 

“Did you black out?” Loki asked. He cursed under his breath, getting up to give you some space. “I apologise, I shouldn’t have said anything. I came off too strong,” He fumbled as he stood up, running a hand through his hair. “I just…I panicked. I apologise-” “Loki,” You stopped him from spiralling further, even if it was cute to see his usually composed self dissolve. You shuffled over to him on your knees. Even while on the bed, he was still fucking giant. You cupped his face and pulled him down, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

You pulled away after a second, dizzy from the feel of his lips on yours. It was better than you could have ever imagined. He stared at you in shock, lifting his fingers up to press them to his lips. You nearly died right there. 

“What was that for?” he asked, shocked. 

You laughed, kissing him again. He leaned into it this time, wrapping his arms carefully around your waist, his lips pressing against yours. 

You kissed him again and again and again, until you were both breathless and his lips were swollen and you were sure yours were too. 

“You’re really fucking insufferable, by the way,” You muttered against his lips. He hummed, chasing after yours as you pulled away. “You drive me insane. You’re in my head all the damn time, I can’t get rid of you,” “Don’t get rid of me, then,” He captured your lips in another bruising kiss. “I don’t plan to,” You sighed happily as you shuffled back onto the bed, pushing aside bandages and gauze wrap and wipes. Loki was a lot neater, taking his time to put them away onto the night table. He crawled into bed with you, his body hovering over yours, hands on either side of your head, caging you in. He leaned down, pressing another kiss to your lips. One kiss turned into two, into three, and then you were making out lazily, your lips crushed together, heavy pants and heated breaths for god knows how long. Tragically, Loki rolled off of you, laying down beside you. You took deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart. 

Loki shifted, laying now on his side to look at you. You did the same, smiling softly. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?” 

“If you couldn’t tell, I’m not quite a people person,” You chuckled. “No, I guess not,” He could be your person though.

Maybe that’s too early to say. You kept your mouth shut. 

“Did I come off too strong?” “Nah,” You shook your head, reaching out to wrap your finger around a lock of his hair. “It was a Hallmark-worthy confession,” “What in the Norns is this Hallmark?” You laughed. “It’s a company. It makes lots of cheesy rom coms, all of which have some sort of frustratingly handsome male lead and big confessions,” “So you’re saying I’m handsome,” He grinned devilishly.  

“Can’t deny it,” 

He leaned in and kissed you again. You kissed him back but then pushed him off. “Stop it. I’ll become addicted,” He leaned back in. “Not a problem. I have no plans to go anywhere,” You ducked away from him, laughing. “If you keep making out with me Loki Laufeyson, we will be having sex,” His brows furrowed. “Absolutely not. Not while you’re injured,” Damn. 

“Fine, then stop kissing me,” “Well that’s unfair. I just got started!” You shrugged. “It’s not my call,” He huffed, pulling you closer, your back flat against his chest. His arm wrapped carefully around your waist, the hand coming to rest just under your wound. “Go to bed then. Before I do something crazy,” “I like crazy. I’m quite fond of crazy,” “Yes, crazy seems to follow you everywhere. It might be your whole identity, really,” “Is that an insult?” A pause. “I don’t think so,” 

You fell silent for a minute. “I think Lucy has a crush on you,” Loki laughed. “What makes you say that?” “Um, the way she blushed when you smiled at her? You laid it on so thick,” You could hear the shiteating grin as he spoke. “I have no idea what you mean, darling. I spoke to her like a normal person,” “Hm,” You wiggled closer to him. “Nah, you definitely were charming her,” His hand squeezed your hip. 

“Stop that,” “What?” You feigned innocence. 

“Stop moving,” You wiggled your ass again, just for a bit of emphasis. “What? This?” 

You swore the sound he made then was some growl. “You find new ways to annoy me every day,” “It’s my talent,” “And you excel at it,” You truly did. No one ever got under his skin like you did. And now with this new layer of your relationship, you have an infinite number of possibilities. 

You knew you guys should probably talk. Figure out where you stand. A plan for tomorrow morning. Try to communicate with the team. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care right now though. Loki was warm, and as he peppered kisses across your shoulder, you felt like maybe tomorrow would be a good day too. 

“I still think you’re an ass,” You mumbled, your eyes half closed. 

He laughed, the sound vibrating in his chest. “Truly a terrible liar,” He pressed a kiss under your ear. “I still think you are the bane of my existence,” “The only one?” “The only one,” You hummed, content with the answer. You could figure things out tomorrow. Tonight, you just wanted to lay in this haze of sunshine. To sleep and wake up to get drunk on Loki again.

Tags: I'm gonna tag a few people because I think I'm silly and this is my second little christmas-y fic so what the hell i dont care LMAO. DONT FEEL OBLIGED TO READ <3 @sarahscribbles @divine-knight-hand @holdmytesseract @joyful-enchantress @saturn-rings-writes

#loki laufeyson #loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson fluff #loki x f!reader #loki fanfiction #loki fic

[penny-anna]

fanfiction writing culture was like. pretty different when My Immortal was new. the 'no concrit' culture we have now evolved out of a scene in which openly mocking 'badfic' was heavily normalised.

like. i started posting fanfiction when i was about 14 & once had someone come into my reviews to pick apart everything they felt was wrong w a story i'd posted. i'd been online long enough to know not to engage w that kind of behaviour and also when i was 14 i was convinced i was some kind of Literary Genius so i just deleted it and moved on.

but every so often i remember this fucking review. the tone was so sneering & condescending and what really gets me is that it was pretty obvious that they'd pegged me as a teenager (they mentioned that i'd made the character i was writing about 'talk like a 21st century american teenager') so it's like. you saw someone you thought was a teenager writing something harmlessly stupid and went out of your way to tear it apart? who does that??

anyway the author of My Immortal was, supposedly, a teenager girl and to be blunt the initial response to it was Kinda Mean. like at this point it's a fandom classic (and also i 100% believe it was satire) but like the culture around it began in a climate where a lot of people did fervently believe in this Boogeyman of idk like. teenage girls who were ruining everything with their badfic and Mary Sues.

all this to say no im not surprised that a lot of people Fell For It. i'd say the people who thought it was real were prolly as much its target as the kind of fic it was spoofing lmao.

[cevansbrat0007]

Distant

Summary: Your husband has been pretty neglectful lately. Late nights, cancelled plans, missing dinner. Is it possible that he doesn't want you anymore? Andy Barber x Black Reader

*Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Daddy Kink, Insecure Reader, Angry Reader, Remorseful Andy, Ass Slapping, Smut (implied), Rage Cooking, Minors DNI

A/N: This idea is courtesy of the genius mind of @writer84. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. As always, I’d love your feedback, so please let me know what you think. Semi-proofread. Not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

___

You blow out a frustrated breath as you end your call with Andy’s assistant, Samantha. Apparently your lunch plans had been canceled. Again. For the fourth freaking time in as many weeks.

And you were extra pissed because your husband of nearly a year hadn’t even had the decency to call you himself. 

He’d been so distant lately and you couldn’t figure out why. So many late nights and missed dinners. Frankly, you were tired of eating alone. And he was always exhausted when got home. It had even been a little while since you’d made love. You’d tried to get something going with him the other night, and he’d turned you down. 

He had turned you down. You’d had your hand down his pants, lightly stroking and squeezing his thick cock, and he’d actually removed it, kissed you on the forehead, and mumbled “not tonight, honey”. You had been shocked. Andy was a man with a voracious appetite. When he was in the mood, and he was almost always in the mood, he was like the goddamned Energizer Bunny. 

The man just kept going, and going, and going…to the point where you had to occasionally beg him for a break. But not lately. It was almost as if he couldn’t be bothered. 

You sniffle and head to the kitchen. When you felt like this there was only one thing that would help, short of smacking your husband in the face. Some people rage cleaned, but you? You rage cooked.  

___

Several hours later…

When it was all said and done, you had a large pot of savory beef stew simmering on the stove and freshly baked biscuits cooling on the counter, along with a lemon pound cake in the oven, and a strawberry cheesecake settling in the fridge. 

And you hoped Andy choked on all of it.

You were not the type of girl to be ignored. And yet that’s what he was doing. So if he was going to ignore you, then you’d ignore him too. You take a sip of the red wine you’d used for the stew, refusing to judge yourself for drinking it straight from the bottle. Your husband was the only man who had the ability to tie you up in knots like this. 

Stupid man. You hoped he stepped in gum. 

If he didn’t want you anymore, if he was done with you, then he would need to tell you to your face, because you did not do hints. 

Gorgeous asshole. You hoped he got a papercut while reviewing legal briefs, and then used hand sanitizer. 

You check on the stew, trying a piece of the beef to check on the tenderness. It falls apart on the fork. Perfect. And the flavor was divine. Ladling some of the broth into a mixing bowl, you go about whisking in some cornstarch before adding it back into the pot and stirring. When you feel like it has achieved its desired thickness, you go ahead and turn it off. 

Now you just had to wait on the cake. And then you would shower. You take a look at the clock. The time read 6:51pm. Okay, so you’d shower and then you would eat. Alone. As per what had become the fucking usual. 

You pull it out of the oven and test its doneness with a toothpick. Crap. It was still a little gooey. Alright, well back in the oven you go dude. You think to yourself, tearing off a sheet of foil to drape over the top of the cake so as to ensure that it didn’t burn. You’d let it go for another ten minutes.

In the meantime, you had a date with the remaining wine left in the bottle next to you. 

___   

Forty minutes later…

You step out of the shower feeling refreshed, courtesy of your Bath & Bodyworks collection. Thanks to them, you smelled like jasmine and vanilla. You rub the same scented body butter into your thirsty skin, wishing that you had a husband here that would do it for you. Andy would do that sometimes.

He took pleasure in applying lotions and butters all over your body. And it always ended up with you speaking in tongues. That man and those hands…they were dangerous. But he wasn’t here, so whatever. 

Pulling on a pair of purple sleep shorts and a pink cami, you head back downstairs to enjoy your stew. As you’d been prepping the dish, you had belatedly realized that you didn’t have any potatoes. So your culinary creation included meat, mushrooms, carrots, and peas. To make up for the absence of carbs, you decided to boil some egg noodles. You’d gone that route before and sometimes, depending on your mood, you enjoyed that option a little bit more. 

Spooning some noodles and a decent portion of hearty stew into a bowl, you head into the living room to watch television. And yes, you had another glass of wine in your hand as well. 

Handsome buttface. You hoped Andy fell down a well so deep that even Lassie couldn’t find him.

In need of a mood boost, you settle on rewatching New Girl. You needed a healthy dose of Winston, Schmidt, Nick, and Coach. And then, you eat. God, this stew is delicious. It’s so freaking yummy that you have a second bowl.

Eventually your husband strolls in just after 8:30pm. Of course he’s on the phone discussing what you assume to be whatever case he’s working on. Andy smiles at your lounging form, leaning down to peck your lips, only to frown when you pull away. 

You wanna greet me, honeypie? Then do it when you’re not on your fucking phone.

You take another bite of your meal and turn your attention back to your show. Nick was currently turning off the sex tap because his girlfriend Jess had become a fake Piston’s fan to bond with a newly returned Coach. 

You’re vaguely aware of when Andy ends his call. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you this evening?”

“Fine,” you mumble as you shovel some more savory, meaty goodness into your mouth.

“Uh, what’s for dinner?” You see him rock on his heels out the corner of your eye.

“Whatever is on the stove.” You respond, your gaze never leaving the TV screen. 

“Okay…any reason for the attitude I’m getting right now?”

“You’re interrupting me while I’m watching my show. If you’re hungry, you know where the kitchen is. You don’t like what’s there, then you can make yourself a sandwich.” There’s an edge to your tone that you can’t quite help.

Andy sighs. “Do you want to maybe talk about whatever seems to be bothering you, Y/N?”

“You’re bothering me. Either go feed yourself or don’t, Andy. I’m busy.” You respond, effectively dismissing him. 

“Look, baby…if this is about lunch…I’m sorry -”

“It’s not about anything. Now please leave me alone, Andrew.” You drain your glass of wine. If you were being honest, you should have just brought the bottle in here with you.

“Can you at least look at me while you tell me to go away?” He growls, clearly irritated with your abrasive behavior. 

“Nope.” You drag a blanket over yourself and go back to nibbling on your food. You hoped that when he reheated his stew, it was too hot and he burned his tongue. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose as he struggles for patience. “You know, Y/N, I really don’t need this from you right now.” You shrug but say nothing. 

You hope he stubbed his baby toe on his way into the kitchen.

“Fine. I’m going to eat something and then take a shower. We’ll discuss this later, okay?” And then he turns and walks away. Grateful  for his departure, you allow yourself to let out the breath you’d been holding.

___

Andy on the other hand is fuming. He knows he’s been working a lot. He knows that he hasn’t been as present as he would have liked, but the case he was working on was a difficult one. Pressure from the community was mounting, and now his wife was pissed at him. Swear to god, he honestly felt like he could not catch a goddamned break. 

Did he like canceling on his baby girl? No. Did he owe her some make-up dates? Absolutely. Maybe I should tell her that, he thinks. When he could be sure that you wouldn’t lob some hard object at his face. 

Andy groans when he takes the lid off the pot. Fuck, his lady had made beef stew. He loved anything she made, but he positively adored her beef stew. He loads up a bowl with noodles and all of the fixings and then grabs a biscuit. And then he notices that there’s an iced pound cake sitting in the cake dish. Uh oh.

Bracing himself, he opens the refrigerator and sees the cheesecake. Holy fuck. He sighs and scrubs a hand over his tired face. His wife had been rage cooking, which meant she really was upset. Yep, he was in trouble.

The last time his sweet girl had rage cooked, he’d come home to the equivalent of a tiny Thanksgiving dinner. And then she had chucked a gravy spoon at him. Thank god, his wife couldn’t aim worth a damn. Otherwise he was pretty sure that he would’ve gone to work the next day with a considerable lump on his forehead. 

Andy eats his meal with gusto, savoring the flavor of the meat and vegetables over the noodles. He occasionally dunks his biscuit into the gravy. Fuck, not only was his wife beautiful and smart, but she was a fucking amazing cook. She was the reason he worked out every day. If he didn’t he would’ve gained a good hundred pounds by now, at least. 

Once he’s finished, he rinses out his bowl and places it in the dishwasher. And then he puts away the food. Look, he knew he had to earn brownie points however and wherever he could. 

And then Andy jogs up the stairs for a quick shower, mentally steeling himself for the fact that he was going to have to fight his wife. His woman was small, but she was squirrely. And she wasn’t above pinching and biting when she was in a mood. 

When he’s showered and dressed, he takes a deep breath before venturing downstairs to get his girl. He knew you both needed to talk, but you’d be doing it in bed.

___

“Hi baby.” You hear your husband’s deep baritone. “Ready for bed?” No, you had just made it to Jess’ birthday episode. You loved this episode.

“Could’ve sworn I asked you to leave me alone, Andy.” You go to reach for your glass once again, only to realize you were out of wine. “I’m fine where I’m at.”

“No. Your place is in bed with me. I’m not going to sleep without you.” His words prompt you to snuggle even deeper into the couch. 

“Y/N.” He growls softly. “I know I haven’t been the most attentive lately, okay? And I’m sorry. I promise I will fix it. Let’s just go to bed and talk. Please?” You turn up the volume to tune out his sexy, pleading voice. 

“Damn it, Y/N. I’m acknowledging that I’m in the wrong here. Let’s go cuddle. I already put the food away and everything. It was delicious by the way, as always.” He hated whenever you refused to look at him. 

“I’m sleeping here tonight, you jackwagon. I don’t need your pity cuddles. If you’re tired of me, then just say it already. And stop using your secretary to do it. It’s going to get you both punched in the eye.” You huff. Ahh, fuck. You’d said more than you’d meant to say.

Your husband lets out an angry snarl before snatching the remote from the coffee table and turning off the TV. You turn to yell at him, only for him to grab you from your perch and sling you over his broad shoulder.

“Let me go, you fucking animal!” You shriek as he carries you up the stairs. “I’m serious, you ass, put me the fuck down now!” Your tiny fists beat on his back in protest. 

“That little massage feels good, baby. Kinda tickles.” 

“Damn you, Andy!” You smack his shapely ass as hard as you can, which prompts him to return the favor, making you yip. 

He dumps you on the bed and quickly climbs on top of you, using his big body to keep you still. You go to slap him but his hands capture yours. And then suddenly one of his big hands is holding both of yours in a solid grip above your head. 

“I’m sorry, baby.” He presses sweet, loving kisses to every inch of your face, whether you want them or not. “I love you. I want you. I need you.”

“Stop it!” You wail.

“No.” He growls against your neck. “Never. I’ve been a bad husband and a bad Daddy. I see that now.”

“Let me fix it. Let me tell you what’s going on so I can fix it, baby girl.” You try to look away but his free hand grips your chin, forcing you to face him.

“You haven’t been present in ages.” You hiss at him. “And you suddenly want to be here now? Our relationship is not a fucking hotel, Andrew. You don’t get to just check-in and check-out whenever you please.” You struggle against his hold. 

“I know that, sweetheart. I do.” He nuzzles his nose against yours. “And I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I promise I’ll start talking about what I’m dealing with.”

“I don’t think I believe you.” You whisper. Your husband sighs before resting his head in between your breasts. “I don’t trust that you’ll let me in the way I need you to.” 

“I get it, and I deserve that. But I can and I will. I will talk to you, Y/N.” He murmurs against your heated flesh. “Let me make love to you, honey. Let Daddy get you all settled down so we can talk.” He sucks at your nipple through the thin fabric of your cami, making your hips buck.

“Sex doesn’t solve everything.” You tell him, trying to control yourself. 

“I know it doesn’t. But Daddy knows when he needs to soothe his baby. And that’s what I’m going to do.” His hand slides inside of your shorts. “Let me make it better. I swear I’ll make it all better.”

You whimper as he finds your clit, his fingers rubbing in a slow, tantalizing fashion.

“Daddy’s got this, baby. All you’ve got to do is trust me.”

END

#chris evans #andy barber #chris evans smut #andy barber smut #chris evans black!reader #andy barber black!reader #chris evans woc!reader #andy barber woc!reader #chris evans imagines #andy barber imagines #chris evans fanfiction #andy barber fanfiction

[justastrugglinghotchocolate]

Ya’ll I used to jokingly consider this, but nah, there is enough evidence in the book to suggest:

Henry ruins Dorian out of spite and jealousy towards Basil for moving on from him.

Let’s get right into this. 

I went back into the book because I wanted to review the post I made about Henry and misogyny earlier. Besides the usual annoyance at Henry’s dumb stupid rant, I noticed this line:

“I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”

And then it hit me that Henry’s worst rants about women only come after the topic of marriage, but more specifically, commitment. Which then led to an even more interesting idea: I’m pretty sure Henry mostly uses ‘women’ as cover to complain about Basil and Basil’s ‘lack of commitment to him.’

I want to note that there’s a lot of interesting things in regards to Henry and his relationship with women that I’d love to go into, but this will focus solely on him and Basil.

Here’s what Henry says in his misogynistic ass rant after Sibyl dies. (This is from the 1891 ver):

“But [Sibyl] would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes dreadfully  dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman’s husband has to pay for.”

Basil is often considered ‘unfashionable’/‘dowdy’ by Henry’s standards. This is only further proven in what he says about Basil’s disappearance:

“Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once, and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art.”

But that isn’t all. The last part of that quote matches one to one to Henry’s claim about women (or Sibyl, specifically). Basil was not only ‘dull’, but his only ‘fashionable’ attribute, his art, grew ‘dowdy’ once he discovered Dorian’s indifference to him.

Henry also says this about women:

“Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil.”

And later:

“But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over, they propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art.”

Guess who makes resolutions regarding goodness? Basil, who refuses to believe that Dorian is nothing but a good, pure man. 

“[Basil] could not bear the idea of reproaching [Dorian] any more. After all, his indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.”

Basil’s arc traditionally should have ended once Dorian rejects him. Between that chapter and the chapter where Basil dies, there is no mention of Basil in any form. By all means, Basil’s role in the story is over—and then he demands the ‘sixth act’ to confront Dorian.

And finally:

“Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the consolations that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most important one.”

“What is that, Harry?” said the lad listlessly.

“Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking some one else’s admirer when one loses one’s own.”

Now before I point out the obvious irony of Henry literally 'taking someone else's admirer' (henry actually has a lot in common with his 'criticisms' of women), I want to bring your attention to a key part we don’t discuss enough about in the book.

““Life has always poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment. It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well—would you believe it?—a week ago, at Lady Hampshire’s, I found myself seated at dinner next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”

So I’m gonna make an educated guess and say Henry is lying his ass off here. He did not have a ‘romance’ with a woman. He certainly did not get an emotional, romantic attachment with a ‘woman’. I feel comfortable saying this because 1) his general distaste for women literally points to this being bullshit and 2) a significant change that was made from the 1890 version of the book to the 1891 version.

This is the quote in 1890:

“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as mourning for a romance that would not die.”

This is 1891:

“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die.”

Well, well, well, who is the arti—It’s Basil. He’s literally talking about Basil here. AND GUESS WHAT VIOLETS MEAN IN VICTORIAN FLOWER LANGUAGE?

A couple of things actually, but the top three are:

‘Faithfulness, Modesty, and Love.’

Henry emotionally had been faithful to Basil. While I doubt he was monogamous in anyway, Basil held a special place that no else would ever have. Not even Dorian.

And this brings me back to the quote that originally sent me down this rabbit hole:

“I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”

In the 1890 version, it says:

“I had buried my romance in a bed of poppies.”

Poppies are known to mean death and would have fit perfectly if Henry was saying he felt nothing for the relationship, but what does asphodel mean?

‘Love Beyond The Grave’, ‘Remembered Beyond The Tomb’ and sometimes, ‘My regrets follow you to the grave’. 

(NOTE: please keep in mind floriography could mean certain things based on the color and the type of flowers. That being said, considering Wilde described the shit out of every setting he wrote, the lack of detail about the flowers suggest the most broad meaning is meant to be taken.)

Henry isn't over Basil. He couldn't kill the love, so he buried it and took Dorian as a consolation and revenge. He will never be able to get over Basil until Basil or himself dies.

BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR HENRY/s

#long post #this is an opinion and a theory. #the picture of dorian gray #basil hallward #dorian gray #henry wotton #book theory #been workshopping this for some time #this post is very long and i didn't even get to go into my favorite example ;-; #anyways shout out to TheMissingMask on Ao3 for writing the fanfic that first got me into this theory. Their fanfic Eros is really good!! #You should read it #honestly read all their tpodg fics #does this make me an english major? uh oh #if someone else has made this kind of post already my bad lol #use this as supplemental or even confirmation #i will be back with the more headcanon-y part that relates to the first chapter alone. but for now i've got a chapter to finish ;)

[nicherayyy]

Pls try doing la squadra x child reader, where they try to help reader do homework. Like if ghia is the type to make reader cry doing math, yk that kind of thing .. ♡

omg I'm alive💀 although recovering from some stupid exams

La Squadra helping Child!Reader with math homework

Homework is never fun. Especially when it's a math homework. These weird formulas and definitions it seems that you will never catch a break with.

Most of the students are hiring the tutor just to get at least anything from this cursed subject. But you have a different situation- seven assassins as father figures. Who also had no money for tutors.

So of course you don't have other choice them ask them to help you.

Risotto is actually very patient. Although he never liked math he enjoys spending some father/child time with you. But don't get your expectations too high, I already told he hated math too.

"Why do you even need to know this? You never gonna use this in life anyway"

"Honestly, I also have no idea"

Does not worry much about your grades, so if you fail a test or two he's not gonna tell you anything, just don't make a habit out of it.

But Prosciutto on the other hand is damn serious about your academic achievements. And because of that you rarely go to him with your math problems. Just no. But if there's no one other to help you.. well, you don't have a choice.

Will he be annoyed if you can't get the material? Yes. Will he yell at you for it. Never. Why? So you get more stressed or what? Math is already not the best thing and screams are not gonna do any good anyways.

"So how do you think you'll find x here?"

"Uhm.. I don't know?"

*sharp inhale* "okay let's review this one more time"

He literally won't let you go until you find a solution. Good luck I guess??

Pesci is the kindest and the most patient soul ever. He may be not the best at math but he's always ready to help (and even learn something new with you too)

"Lets re-read the article one last time just to make sure we got everything right?"

Tells you that grades is not the most important thing in the world, so he makes sure to not overwork you. Because honestly, for him your well-being will be his number one priority.

Formaggio is useless when it comes to math, I'm not gonna lie. But the thing is he can teach you how to cheat in class, just in case. And don't tell Prosciutto that he taught you this.

"If you need you can hide a small paper with answers in your pen, one sec I'll show you"

"Woah, I would never thought of doing it"

Obviously hated school so he knows a lot of ways how to cheat. Some of them he don't even want to tell you

Illuso is okayish, he was more of a literature guy but still good at math. But the problem is he forgot almost everything. And he's big ego won't let him admit it.

"Damn.. wait a minute.. I need to use a calculator"

"That's okay if you don't know I can ask Melone or-"

"NO. It's okay. I almost got it"

Sometimes you feel like he's the student here.

Ghiaccio.. is Ghiaccio. One time he made you cry and now he tries to be more patient with you. He just can't get it how you couldn't understand the material when he explained it like five times already.

"It's literary Pythagorean theorem how can't you get this??"

"I'm sorry", you sobbed

"Okay okay don't cry, please don't cry. I'll explain this again"

Shout out to him for trying.

He was a math genius in school. Dude even won some regional competitions once. So yeah, would make a perfect teacher if not anger issues.

Melone is the walking encyclopaedia. Sometimes you wonder how he can hold all this information in his head.

So yeah, he's the best choice if you want an easy explanation of your material.

"Just use this formula here"

"That easy?"

"That easy, yeah"

After your study sessions makes you some mint tea to relax and clear your head. Studying is important but a good rest and a nice cup of tea are the key to improve your memory and make studying a little more bearable.

#jjba x reader #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo bizarre adventure #la squadra x reader #la squadra esecuzioni #la squadra #la squadra di esecuzione #prosciutto x reader #illuso x reader #risotto nero x reader #melone x reader #formaggio x reader #pesci x reader #ghiaccio x reader #jjba 5 #jjba golden wind #ghiaccio #golden wind x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #jojo #jjba platonic

[noodyl-blasstal]

Blupjeans Week: Bet (day 2)

It's @blupjeansweek day 2. This follows on from yesterday's prompt. You can also read on Ao3

-

"It's going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say, you just casually revolutionised thermodynamics, you're gonna walk your viva." Barry could hear Lup rolling her eyes at that one, though he stayed resolutely focused on the raggedy copy of his thesis which was, at this point, 70% sticky notes. Could he read what any of them said because of how much they overlapped? Shut up.

"Natch, evocation is never going to be the same thanks to cha'girl's research, but that doesn't meant you're going to fail, Barold."

"No, they're just going to MPhil me out."

Lup sighed heavily. "Oh no, you worked hard and gained mastery in a subject, how terrible, what an embarrassment."

Barry did look up then, didn't she get it? He’d thought she’d get it. It was an embarrassment! She’d watched him put so much into this, the stupid well thumbed, badly bound paper stack represented four years of late nights, early mornings, cancelled plans, 3am anxiety… he thought she understood. She’d lived it with him, they were working for the key to the next level, if they gave him the wrong one what was even the point? "You think…?"

"I'm being flippant because that's not going to happen. Once again, I've read your work my guy, it's good, in fact, it’s great. In fact, right now, you’re arguing with established fact.” Barry grimaced as Lup spoke, but she ploughed on. “... you've already published three chapters of this thing in peer reviewed journals. 6/6 esteemed peer reviewers agree!"

"But they publish bad science all the tim…"

Lup cut him off. "Barry stop. You know you’ve done good science because a) I would have told you if you hadn’t, and b) peer reviewers might be lazy but you’re not. You know your submissions were solid, just look at the citations.”

“But…” She was right. But Barry still struggled, sure she hadn’t said anything incorrect, he knew he’d done solid work, but he also just knew that he’d fucked this up.

“...But what? But maybe they're idiots who can't recognise genius? They're gonna recognise it, Barry. It's impossible not to recognise how brilliant you are. That thesis is just you yelling “I’m Barry Bluejeans and I know what the fuck I’m talking about, pay me money about it.” Plus, publish a few more chapters and you can do PhD by publication without those losers to worry about anyway."

Barry didn’t even register the second part because Lup thought he was brilliant! Lup thought he was brilliant and she was telling him and he kept shutting her down instead of just being grateful about it. Maybe if he tried to accept the compliment. "Than…"

Lup started speaking at the same time. "In fact…" She paused to let him speak, but he shook his head and gestured to her, he could try being gracious another day. "... Okay, if you're sure." He nodded. "I think, Baraldo, that we should make a bet, you and I. I may as well profit from all this self doubt, so I bet you're gonna pass with no corrections."

Barry laughed bitterly. Whatever she was betting she'd be losing. "Lup, I'm going to fail."

Lup shoved his shoulder gently. "You're not and you know it. Be serious."

"Oh, like yours was serious?"

Lup's ears flicked back defensively. "Serious? Barry, c'mon. Obviously we all know cha’girl’s out here shaping the future of evocation, but you're doing magic within magic on all your spooktacular stuff. The chapter on spell wheels? I'd never considered it, and even if I had, I definitely would have taken at least 10 minutes longer than you to come up with something so elegant. You know what you're doing, I know what I'm doing, it's why we're such a great team."

They did make a great team. They’d met the first day of undergrad at orientation. Barry the lone mature student in a sea of babies, then Lup and Taako had appeared, and sure there was The Nerd Incident, but they cleared that pretty fast. They coincided in most classes, worked together in labs, and powered their way through a ridiculous amount of higher education together. There hadn’t been any question about it when the option of choosing housing came up, they lived together off campus and were joined by a rotating cast which had pretty much always featured Taako (well, until this year), but LupAndBarry, BarryAndLup? They were a constant, they worked. “We do work well together.” 

“You can say that again.” Lup glared at him as he opened his mouth to repeat it. “...And you know exactly how smart I am, right?” Lup asked. Barry could taste the trap-ness of this question, she was an angler fish and the question was a beautiful little light, he was going to answer it honestly and wholly and she was going to chomp him down with her big clever teeth.

“You’re incredible Lup, your research is amazing and you’re passionate and eloquent and so smart…” 

Lup’s teeth closed. “Then you know I know my shit well enough to know your shit’s good, so, what’s your bet?”

“I pass with major corrections?”

Lup raised an eyebrow. “Question, or an answer?”

“I pass with majors.”

“Fine. If you want to lose whatever you’re betting then be my guest, Bluejeans.”

“I don’t think I have anything you want.” Barry said, and he wasn’t sure, it was a ridiculous thought, but he could have sworn that Lup’s ears reddened at the tips. She coughed loudly, then almost shouted “Jeans.”

“What?”

Lup coughed again and spoke in a softer tone. “I get rights to your wardrobe. I know your jeans are comfier than mine.”

Barry hesitated. He’d already lost a good chunk of his shirts and sweaters to Lup. Not that he minded most of the time, he usually managed to steal his favourites back briefly on laundry day, but his jeans? He only had three pairs and they all served specific purposes in his life, he couldn't afford to sacrifice them, no matter how cute Lup would look in them. But, <;i>but</i>, there was no way he was actually going to pass without corrections, everyone at least got minors and Barry's supervisor definitely didn't think he'd even manage that. According to the available evidence, this seemed like a safe bet. "Deal!"

Lup grinned big and wide and dangerous . "GuyWhoJustLostHisJeansSaysWhat."

"What?" Barry asked.

Lup snickered. "Just asking what you wanted from me if your externals are somehow struck incapable of recognising brilliance?"

Oh... yeah, Barry had forgotten this part. Lup's brash overconfidence in his abilities had essentially signed her up to do whatever he wanted. He could stick her with dish duty for the next hundred years; make her actually use the dregs of her body wash before she moved onto the next one so the edge of the shower wasn't a terrifying pile of upside down barely balanced bottles; he could ask her to tell him whether there was an expiration date on their whole thing, whether the end of study meant different directions and fond memories, phone calls which dwindled as she remembered less and less… "You have to come home with me." He blurted out the thought before he could properly consider what he was asking. Was that too much? Oh it was probably too much. A trip home meant a road trip, motels, meeting his Mum. There was no way Marlena wouldn't pick up on exactly how he felt about Lup, not that she hadn’t already, but it was easier to lie on the phone. Plus, there was no way his Mum wouldn't love Lup too. How could anyone not? Then he’d only disappoint her when Lup moved on with her life and left him behind. Maybe he could back track, do the dishes thing instead…

"You have yourself a deal, Mr Bluejeans, may as well use that title one last time. Now, I have some outfits to plan, go eat the sandwich I made you, then I'll help with the last minute prep." Lup disappeared in the direction of Barry's room. 

Barry resigned himself to losing another few shirts while Lup investigated his wardrobe and obediently shuffled his way to the kitchen. It was definitely time to eat, he wasn't entirely sure when he last did… probably the last time Lup shoved food at him. He definitely had to thank her when this was over. 

-

"...And why did you decide on Necrostics?" Lup looked expectantly at Barry. 

"It was the most logical methodological approach as it incorporates acknowledgement of the agency held by constructs and the undead while also acknowledging the influence of social and summoning factors. I modified the approach to ensure it was appropriately controlling for the new spells I developed."

Lup clapped her hands delightedly. 

"It was that good an answer?" Barry asked.

"It's that good a wardrobe. I cannot wait to get my hands on it, Barold, you're gonna be living in your pants… although…" Lup narrowed her eyes. 

"Absolutely not, no!"

Lup shrugged. "You can't watch your stuff all the time, Barry. Cha'girl needs some new sleep shorts."

Barry felt his face flame at the thought of Lup sleeping in his clothes, Lup wanting to. "I'd better go now!" He said, too fast and too loud. "Gotta go get it over with."

Lup jumped up. "Cool, I'll grab my book and and few other bits and come with. There's some comfy chairs in the corridor with my name on them."

Oh. Lup was going to come with him. Lup was going to wait for him. "You don't have t…"

"I want to."

–

"Good luck Barold, you've got this." Lup hugged him firmly, he squeezed back. If he didn't let go he didn't have to go into the scary room. Can't defend your thesis if you’re in the middle of a hug, that’s just science. Lup pulled back slightly, then dipped her head to kiss him on the cheek.

Barry didn't have time to react before Lup pulled away and planted herself across the corridor chairs, head buried in her book.

"Are you ready, Mr Bluejeans?" A voice asked from the door behind him. All Barry could do was touch a hand to his cheek, turn, and nod. 

– 

"Congratulations again, Dr Bluejeans, this may be the most enjoyable viva I have ever taken part in." Said Dr Combish, opening the door for him. 

Barry was going to pass out. The adrenaline finally drained out of him, weeks, months of panic, gone. It was over. An outright pass? It was so rare, so ridiculously unlikely. He should be raring to celebrate, but mostly he just wanted to go home and sit very still in the dark. He stepped into the corridor, remembered to thank Dr Combish, and stared numbly at the door as it closed. What did he even do now? It was over. A whole chunk of his life was just… done. He had the keys to the next stage, had the fancy title, had everything he'd worked for and… and? 

"Hey Bear?" Lup nudged his arm gently. "How'd it go?" 

"I… I passed?" Said Barry. "Yeah. They. Well. I passed!" His voice broke momentarily, to say it was so surreal. "Lup! I passed!!!" He grabbed her into a hug. "I did it! We did it! Thank you, thank you thank you thank you!"

"Knew you could." Lup said thickly, hugging him back. They didn’t say anything for a while, just held on tight. “We… we should do something.” Said Lup, eventually. “Celebrate, you know.”

“We’ll celebrate together when you pass next week.” Barry didn’t even have to think about it. Whatever he could do, Lup could do better, there was no way she’d be correcting anything.

“Fine, but we’re getting pizza, from the good place.” Lup grabbed her backpack from the chairs.

Barry stared for a second. “You… you’re wearing my garden jeans. Lup!”

“And they look great on me. Told you I believed in you. Fair’s fair.” Lup winked, wiggled her butt, and grabbed his hand. “Now, let’s get you home, Baraldo. We need to ring Marlena and tell her, she’ll be having kittens.”

Barry couldn’t do anything but nod.

#blupjeansweek2023 #Barry you idiot; see how smart you are! #Lup grabbed those jeans so fast - she's been secretly wearing them for years but now she doesn't have to hide it anymore #Noodyl Writes #TAZ fic #The Adventure Zone #Blupjeans #Barry Bluejeans #Lup Tacco #Lup

[soft-persephone]

Ex-Machina Review

!!!Spoilers!!!

Nathan Bateman, is a fucking asshole.

I love it.

There’s a lot of “theories” about this movie, but I have my own interpretation.

Narcissism and God complex aside, yeah he has those things, but Caleb is a driving point for how we see him.

I do not think Caleb is a robot or AI.

But he was losing his mind in the end.

Nathan may be an arrogant asshole, but he wasn’t wrong or lying to Caleb about AVA. Like he might have lied about the experiment, but for that to work he would need someone gullible and perhaps with no family, because let’s be honest, if the test worked, Caleb was not going home 😭 (homeboy was going to end up like the people who installed the generator)

Ava had Caleb eating out the palm of her hand. He fell in love her and she just wanted to leave.

Nathan is the only man smart enough (from what the movie tells us) to make this cutting edge AI, but no matter how many prototypes he builds, at some point they are going to feel like they are being held captive if they gain a conscience.

He can’t let that shit out in the world until they chill first and accept that they are an AI and can’t have normal life until xyz.

Either way, the end result of “what next” if they passed his test is going to be fucked up no matter what.

That robot feels like a person and can’t have a or al life and they are obviously going to want one.

So in my opinion, the movie sets up Nathan as a fucked up god figure held captive not by his intellect but also his creation.

He had to baby sit these fucking robots and hope one day they won’t try to escape him or worse (how the movie ended).

He obviously isn’t a god, but asshole rich geniuses tend to be arrogant and self absorbed in some way. Like, yes, you are a super genius and no one can do what you do, but let’s cool it with the God comparisons.

The movie only ended with his death because Ava turned Caleb against him.

I think he knew that was going to be the end result.

“Caleb wanting to help Ava.”

But he didn’t plan on Caleb losing his fucking mind. Because that’s what turned everything to shit.

But now let’s talk visual language, and meta shit.(my favorite🥰)

Domhall Gleason is obviously taller than Oscar Isaac, but this movie put a lot of emphasis on it.

On top of that, Nathan works out a lot.

Caleb is taller and he’s also pretty smart. But he’s also a gullible dumbass. That’s what feeds into the evil narcissist narrative to get us to think Nathan is the “villain” befor the big twist.

But CLeb just keeps feeding into it. He calls him a hod and kept doing stupid shit for Nathan to correct him.

Nathen isn’t suspicious, Caleb was just suspicious of Nathan.

I also think Nathan is the type of man where being smart isn’t enough. Taking, care of his body as well as being smart, makes him more “superior.” It feeds into his god complex as much as his intellect.

He also likes to subvert expectations of super smart scientist.

He’s not some frail absentminded professor in a lab coat.

He’s a weightlifting, dance loving, dude that likes to kick back with a few drinks. He likes to talk the shit and have a good time.

But also he lived alone for many years with an AI robot to fuck from time to time and sometimes dance with.

Good chance his workouts and hikes are for his mental health.

Nathan is an asshole, but he’s not a villain.

At the end of the day he’s making and testing something.

He killed those generator guys, and I think at the end of it all, he was going to kill Caleb too. NDA or not.

He chose a kid with no friends or family for a reason.

He’s making a product that needs getting and manipulated someone for the best results.

He likes to be In control of everything and aware of every possible outcome.

While the lying might have been wrong, it is the best way to test his AI. Like it makes sense not in a crazy way.

I think Nathan is more callous/sinister than evil or cruel.

I think Caleb was buying into Ava so much, and since the movie is from his perspective, it can convince the audience he is a villain of sorts.

Thank you for making it to the end of you did. I hope you enjoy my word vomit of the movie I enjoyed!

#if Caleb wasn’t so stupid #maybe he’d be out of there #nathan bateman #Oscar Isaac #domhall gleeson #ex machina #movie review #Caleb ex machina #softie watches things

[keystone8379]

Megamind vs The Doom Syndicate Review

Oh god. It's bad guys. It's really bad.

Where do I start? Uhh, probably the movie's visuals. This movie is ugly. Characters are animated in really stiff ways, environments are empty, and there's a ton of errors. The animators likely didn't have time to polish stuff like that.

When the movie's not being really boring, it's really frustrating. Megamind is an asshole and he has a flimsy checklist of a character arc. Minion/Chum sits out the whole movie and I can't tell if he's commentary on generative AI being useless or the upsides of AI he builds being able to steal jobs? Roxanne is then just there. She's just there. The characters have the beginning and end of an arc but not the actual arc itself so none of the made up character development feels earned.

The story is also really really not great. Megamind has to pretend to be a bad guy so there's a few cliche Among Us type scenes. He then has to stop the doom syndicate from launching the city into space. Antics ensue or whatever.

The worldbuilding is also terrible. The entire reason Megamind gets bored after he takes over the city is because he didn't have anything he wanted to do OTHER than beat Metro Man. A big part of his motivation was that he was a loner. Megamind was naturally a genius and raised by prison inmates, not this random brain guy. The movie spits on all of that.

The movie's also just fucking stupid. The Among Us trope is not funny and overdone, the electric character is defeated by being electrocuted, I want to think of a third thing but this movie was so unmemorable and I was on my phone for most of the second half. Why did they put a post credits scene?? (Or, well, I know the answer to that. This show is a pilot for the peacock series. Except they already produced the whole series. They probably wouldn't have if this was an actual pilot.)

This movie has one single funny joke however! And it's a criticism of capitalism. Kinda based!

#megamind

[fluffmonster31513]

BSD as more things said in my math class:

Kunikida: “After the break, I think half my braincells are dead.”

Tanizaki: “Same.”

Atsushi: “Same.”

Kyouka: “Mood.”

Dazai: “#relatable”

-

Akutagawa: “Why didn’t they just make the graph correctly?”

-

Dazai: “That was actually such a sexy parabola.”

-

Kunikida: “I think that some things that you think in your mind should, like, stay there. For the greater good.”

-

Dazai, to Akutagawa: “Is that failure I smell?”

-

Louisa: *doing review* “This was literally 800 years ago and I don’t remember how to do any of this.”

-

Atsushi: “Yell at me if you want to, but I think it’s 9.”

-

Atsushi: “Hey, so we have to leave class in like, 20 minutes.”

Kunikida: *squawk*

Tanizaki: “…We didn’t tell you that, did we?”

-

Louisa: “It’s not on the test? I’ve been stressing about changed vertexes for the past 24 hours!”

-

Dazai: “Well, I can spell sarcasm correctly.”

Chuuya: “Shut the fuck up.”

-

Ranpo: “y=like 8 something, blah, blah, blah.”

-

Kunikida: *explaining quadratic equations* “What do we call this?”

Aya: “Quadratic relations.”

-

Gin: “Statistically, you’re gonna get stabbed when you go on the subway.”

Hirotsu: “That’s not how statistics work.”

Tachihara: “I get stabbed when I go on the subway.”

-

Ayatsuji: “Mm, I’m a genius. Tsujimura, get me the noble prize.” (that is not a typo)

-

Kenji: “Oh, I thought it was like, parabolas part 2.”

-

Tachihara: “That would be a really wide parabola. I’m so proud of myself for knowing that.”

-

Q: “That’s crazy bonkers.”

-

Ranpo: *explaining solution*

Cop, writing it down: “I-I can’t write fast enough.”

-

Kenji: “Maybe the real marks were the friends we made along the way.”

Atsushi, stressing: “Yeah, but those friends are also getting bad marks.”

-

M*ri: *explaining something*

Dazai: “So what’s the meaning of life?”

-

Poe: “I’m not gonna run, I’ll look stupid.”

-

Kunikida: “Who knew parabolas could inspire so much-“

Dazai: “Pain and suffering.”

-

Q: “We’re just little social pterodactyls.”

-

it doesn’t cleanly fit into a quote, but the projector wasn’t working, so my teacher started writing on the chalkboard and everyone got so hyped and wanted to write the equations on the chalkboard, and i think this has happened at least once in the ada.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungou gay dogs #bsd incorrect quotes

[horce-divorce]

My friend just moved to a her grandmas old place and she doesn't have internet, so instead we dug out Grandma's trusty VHS collection and watched a bunch of movies from the cusp of Y2K. We also have plans to dig out more because this is our thing now, fuck Netflix. So here's my reviews so far:

Holes. what a GREAT fucking movie. Good message that is blatantly anti-prison industrial complex and anti-capitalist. good morals, good soundtrack, great casting, the author of the text wrote the screenplay so it hits hard like the book does, the romance between Kate and Sam will be goals to me forever. "I can fix that"!?!? KILL ME JFJDJWKWKFNJRNE 11/10 good shit. youuUuUUUU got to goOooOoo dig those hooooles 🎶

Another one that's still good? POTC: curse of the black pearl. Yes it's Johnny Depp Disney Garbage Trash, but it's WRITTEN SO WELL. Whatever writers they got for that shit obviously have written many a fanfic (positive! praise!!) bc the dynamics and dialogue btwn characters flow so smoothly. It's absolutely and utterly unlike real life, it's just the pirate story we all always wished we could be in, and it's still an absolute blast. for that I award it 9/10. This one was funny bc it came out on VHS in time for the commercials to be advertising DVDs.

Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius? This one's hard, cus this was one of my FAVORITE movies growing up. I noticed going in, however, that I remembered far less about what happens to Jimmy and his friends then I did about Caveman. Basically all I remembered was Jimmy's dad is stupid, and "when I sneeze it looks like a advanced species too." and that's bc Jimmy Neutron is a completely vapid and inane tale with absolutely no message, that unfortunately did not stand the test of time to me personally. It's pretty much unremarkable. they try to mix the "he's a genius baby" humor with 5th grader booger jokes and it just doesn't work, the booger humor doesn't land for adults and the genius humor isn't quite smart enough to be actually funny most of the time. Tbqh I think watching this as an adult gives me more ideas for horror movies than anything else. They go into space ON ROLLER COASTERS, WITHOUT HELMETS!!! They're fighting an entire civilization of space traveling ritual sacrificing EGGS and they have A SINGULAR! ONE! CHILD! ARMY! TO FIGHT THEM!!!! THEY CANT BREATHE OUT THERE! that's too scary I can't take it seriously lmao. 4/10 with all positive points going to Jimmy's hot mom and himbo dad (ideal romance tbh and where 90% of the humor comes from), Carl, Sheen, and Cindy, for screaming "THOSE FINDINGS WERE INCONCLUSIVE AND YOU KNOW IT" during their first on screen fight, that joke did actually land so they can have a cookie for it. And the teacher who gets turned small and gets left that way forever. What the fuck lmao

We also watched Pocahontas and I mean. Even as a kid watching that one was more of a lesson in "here's how NOT to talk about history," and as an adult, her "romance" with John Smith is more weak and pathetic than anything I've ever seen before or since! We got to "Savages" and all I could think was "Disneys orchestra really put their whole pussy into this one, huh?!?" I wish I could say the rest of the movie/soundtrack made it worthwhile but I'm gonna go with a solid 2/10 here. we still had a fun time tearing into their choices, and the aesthetic of an old Disney movie watched on VHS like nature intended is a form of ASMR. I didn't realize how much I missed the clackety clack of the plastic cases or the smell of a warm, freshly rewound tape. <3 good shit.

Stay tuned for more of my 20 Years Later: VHS Reviews No One Fucking Asked For! we're holding out hope that her parents still have my friends own VHS collection bc her and her sister used to have a banging VHS collection and I NEED to see Quest for Camelot.

#me #film #listening to music from the same era lately too #i just put Simple Plans debut album back in my rotation bc its soooooo funnnyyyyy oh my god #the christmas list song 😭😭 #i want a girl in my bed who knows what to do! A PLAYSTATION 2! i want a (1) dvd! a big screen tv!! 😭 #IM JUST A KID AND LIFE IS A NIGHTMARE! IM JUST A KIIIIID I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! NOBODY CARES CUS IM ALONE AND THE WORLD IS #HAVING MORE FUN THAN MEEEEEEEEEEEE... to night 😔 #the song where he straight up fucks an alien #iconic shit

[catierambles]

As was expected, because if two movies take place in the same time period they have to be exactly alike, reviewers keep comparing Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare to Inglorious Basterds. Saying "Well, in Inglorious Basterds, they did this..."

Guy Ritchie is not Quentin Tarantino, they are not going to make similar movies, they have vastly different directorial styles and go for vastly different genres of movies. And thank goodness for that because not everyone likes a misogynistic foot fetishist whose movies incels on the Internet use to call women stupid (while simultaneously complaining they won't sleep with them) because "they just don't understand the nuance and how smart it is".

I've seen From Dusk Til Dawn. It was shit. I've seen the Desperado trilogy. They were shit. I've seen Inglorious Basterds. Eh, it was okay. Christoph Waltz was the only good part of that movie.

Quentin Tarantino uses bloody ultraviolence to carry subpar plots and his main characters have absolutely no personality besides "violent". He's been called a "genius director" by people who mistake "shock value" for "genius". He's Michael Bay only instead of explosions, he uses blood and gore.

Guy Ritchie uses humor and wit. Tarantino wouldn't know wit if it kicked him in the face (though, to be fair, he'd be too distracted by his boner).

Am I saying Ritchie is a better director than Tarantino? No. I'm saying that Ritchie is a different director than Tarantino. I may not personally like Tarantinos' movies, but that's just my opinion. They don't make the same style of movie so their movies shouldn't be compared against each other.

#henry cavill #ministry of ungentlemanly warfare

[im-not-a-l0ser]

The Michie Playlist

Happy Valenties Yall. You may have seen my post about making a Michie Playlist. This is my review of songs already on it, originating from @wildrottingworms michie playlist. Barring Granger Danger (because they told me to) and adding another song, because it fits with another.

Here's the playlist on youtube if you want to follow along, and here it is on Spotify.

Nerdy Prudes Must Die: This is, for me, just on there for the sake that it is literally the song they share. That is the only reason it's on here. Also why it's the first song on here.

Take Me Back: This, however, I have no idea why it's on here! Nevermind, secret relationship michie; I'm an idiot. Okay, yeah, I think I can see it. Especially with them having regrets about keeping it a secret. Like, I'm listening to Tom's verse right now and it's like "oh, Max,, maybe you should've just openly loved Richie back thennn." Becky's verse now, okay. I see it a little less. I like the idea of 'i remember something someone asked me back in school,' being Max saying something like "if we could, would you go to prom with me," because of the following line; I think that's cute. Weirdly enough, I think this'll stay.

First Date/Last Night: Yes, I love this for them. Very cute, very nice. Derek Klena's character for max; perfect.

Blast From the Past: So, uh. I skipped this at first. Because I did not like it. This is the last song of these I've listened to because I am/was putting it off. But here we go i guess. Okay, it's not that bad. It kind of reminds me of Will Wood. But it also makes me realise that the musical Zombie Prom isn't the same as the Wizards of Waverly Place Episode, it seems to be about a single zombie who goes to prom. Which I guess makes sense. I'm keeping it, but it's like. That's all I got from it mostly.

Stupid With Love: So I technically added it, because the reprise was on it, I think it's a little silly to have on here, because I don't think Cady is much like Richie, but I think I'm keeping it for purely after (s)he meets Aron. Like, I've literally put that quote where Cady is essentially fantasising about him in tags about Richie and Max; feels wrong to not include it.

Stupid With Love Reprise: So, listening to it makes me nervous because I haven't actually watched all o Mean Girls the Musical, but it's fine. We're gonna do it anyway. Oh, wait, there's a BMC animatic of this, I've seen this, I'm stupid. Okay. I see why the og put it on here. It is very cute, I love it. I don't know enough about factorials to know if that's actually what you're supposed to do with them, and if it's not then it's hilarious. If it is, then it's like... well, I guess PJ did a good job tutoring Max.

Be Nice To Me: I like this song generally speaking, I never thought of it for Max and Richie, but I'm kind of into it. Like, I might do song fics with some of the songs from this playlist, and this is definitely a high high contender.

Two Birds: Thanks og, you mother fucker. I'm sad now. Luckily, I've already thought of them during this song so I can just skip it.... unluckily, it's already started playing and I can't turn it off now. Thems the rules.

Sex with a Ghost: I don't know why this is on there. It's obviously more of a Jagertity song, but I'm still going to listen to it with their context to see if I can figure it out. Okay, listening. I don't get it. I'll probably keep it because it fucking slaps, but i do not understand why it's on a michie playlist. The only thing I could see is like. 'The only time I ever see her is when she's behind me in the mirror," Because Richie dies in the locker room. But I dunno.

Daft Pretty Boys: I've never heard this song before, so. Right off the bat though, I'm dissapointed that it's not gay. The title makes it sound so gay, but immediately with the she/her pronouns. Maybe I should pull up the Genius Analysis so I can understand better, because I'm just confused. Okay, after checking Genius, I think I understand. I will be keeping it.

Beachboy: Another song I've listened to before, I'm excited to listen to it under Michie context. Like, I could type the lyrics along if I wanted to, I love this song. Yes, this is amazing. Aside from the fact that it's, again, straight, it's absolutely great.

Bloom: We begin the ones where I'm going to have to look up the english translations to these songs. Which I'm fine with, I've listened to all the BSD character songs. It's actually pretty fun to follow along, which is why I'm linking english translations through te name titles, which is why some of the have underlines and others don't. Anyway. HEY SORRY TO BUT IN! APPARENTLY THIS WAS IN SCOTT PILGRIM TAKES OFF! I LOVE SCOTT PILGRIM! ANYWAY BACK TO IT! Okay, upon reading the lyrics, I will say, it makes perfect sense that it was written for Scott Pilgrim, also that I rememer hearing it and taking note of what it was called because I liked it. Basically, on a surface level, it's like 'id like you no matter how many times you change your hair' but I think beneath that, as an overthinker, it's about loving someone even as they're going through changes in their life.

Necromantic: As much as it hurts to face the reality, I am glad that there are some songs on here that represent a realistic relationship for them, and this is definitely one of them. I think I would do a poor job on describing it, just look up the lyrics, you'll see.

Sihouette: Okay, reading the lyrics was a little harder bc I'm listening at home, and my family just got back home from Astronomy Club, so just bare with me. I think it's good, I think we'll be keeping it; I like it I think.

Kuchizuke Diamond: Oh I immediately love the vibes of this. I like this song so much for them that I didn't follow along with the lyrics, I read ahead; I love this. It's so cute for them.

Kawaikute gomen: I'm back and forth whether this applies to them, but it's funny enough that I don't even care. Like Stupid With Love and such. I definitely feel it for them, I just can't explain why.

Zenzenzense: This reminds me of Sonic. Not a bad thing, just a thing. I definitely love this song. It's "Now that we've finally met at galaxies' end, i don't know how to hold your hand so that I don't break it" that got me.

Nandemonaiya: Okay yeah. This got me at Verse 1

Kick Back: Oh my, I'm like flustered reading this. Definitely keeping it for them. Works for whichever pov imo.

Death By Glamour: I do not know why this is here, but as an undertale fan, I'm lowkey here for tho.

Uwa!! So Temperate: Again, I don't know why this is here. But it's like 45 seconds, it's whatever.

Murder On The Dancefloor

You & I: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

Best Kept Secret: Any song from Bare is gonna make me sad, so I might take them off purely for that reason. But I need someone to cosplay Max with me so we can do a long form tiktok to this song. I'm willing to be Max, actually, yeah.

This is where the song diverges into songs I've added! To continue, go to the post explaining why I've added those songs! To skip those songs, go to the post about songs that were suggested!

#starkid #nerdy prudes must die #richie lipschitz #max jagerman #michie #hatchetfield #the michie playlist #the playlist series