#if someone else has made this kind of post already my bad lol

[justastrugglinghotchocolate]

Ya’ll I used to jokingly consider this, but nah, there is enough evidence in the book to suggest:

Henry ruins Dorian out of spite and jealousy towards Basil for moving on from him.

Let’s get right into this. 

I went back into the book because I wanted to review the post I made about Henry and misogyny earlier. Besides the usual annoyance at Henry’s dumb stupid rant, I noticed this line:

“I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”

And then it hit me that Henry’s worst rants about women only come after the topic of marriage, but more specifically, commitment. Which then led to an even more interesting idea: I’m pretty sure Henry mostly uses ‘women’ as cover to complain about Basil and Basil’s ‘lack of commitment to him.’

I want to note that there’s a lot of interesting things in regards to Henry and his relationship with women that I’d love to go into, but this will focus solely on him and Basil.

Here’s what Henry says in his misogynistic ass rant after Sibyl dies. (This is from the 1891 ver):

“But [Sibyl] would have soon found out that you were absolutely indifferent to her. And when a woman finds that out about her husband, she either becomes dreadfully  dowdy, or wears very smart bonnets that some other woman’s husband has to pay for.”

Basil is often considered ‘unfashionable’/‘dowdy’ by Henry’s standards. This is only further proven in what he says about Basil’s disappearance:

“Why should he have been murdered? He was not clever enough to have enemies. Of course, he had a wonderful genius for painting. But a man can paint like Velasquez and yet be as dull as possible. Basil was really rather dull. He only interested me once, and that was when he told me, years ago, that he had a wild adoration for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art.”

But that isn’t all. The last part of that quote matches one to one to Henry’s claim about women (or Sibyl, specifically). Basil was not only ‘dull’, but his only ‘fashionable’ attribute, his art, grew ‘dowdy’ once he discovered Dorian’s indifference to him.

Henry also says this about women:

“Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil.”

And later:

“But women never know when the curtain has fallen. They always want a sixth act, and as soon as the interest of the play is entirely over, they propose to continue it. If they were allowed their own way, every comedy would have a tragic ending, and every tragedy would culminate in a farce. They are charmingly artificial, but they have no sense of art.”

Guess who makes resolutions regarding goodness? Basil, who refuses to believe that Dorian is nothing but a good, pure man. 

“[Basil] could not bear the idea of reproaching [Dorian] any more. After all, his indifference was probably merely a mood that would pass away. There was so much in him that was good, so much in him that was noble.”

Basil’s arc traditionally should have ended once Dorian rejects him. Between that chapter and the chapter where Basil dies, there is no mention of Basil in any form. By all means, Basil’s role in the story is over—and then he demands the ‘sixth act’ to confront Dorian.

And finally:

“Besides, nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner. Conscience makes egotists of us all. Yes; there is really no end to the consolations that women find in modern life. Indeed, I have not mentioned the most important one.”

“What is that, Harry?” said the lad listlessly.

“Oh, the obvious consolation. Taking some one else’s admirer when one loses one’s own.”

Now before I point out the obvious irony of Henry literally 'taking someone else's admirer' (henry actually has a lot in common with his 'criticisms' of women), I want to bring your attention to a key part we don’t discuss enough about in the book.

““Life has always poppies in her hands. Of course, now and then things linger. I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die. Ultimately, however, it did die. I forget what killed it. I think it was her proposing to sacrifice the whole world for me. That is always a dreadful moment. It fills one with the terror of eternity. Well—would you believe it?—a week ago, at Lady Hampshire’s, I found myself seated at dinner next the lady in question, and she insisted on going over the whole thing again, and digging up the past, and raking up the future. I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”

So I’m gonna make an educated guess and say Henry is lying his ass off here. He did not have a ‘romance’ with a woman. He certainly did not get an emotional, romantic attachment with a ‘woman’. I feel comfortable saying this because 1) his general distaste for women literally points to this being bullshit and 2) a significant change that was made from the 1890 version of the book to the 1891 version.

This is the quote in 1890:

“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as mourning for a romance that would not die.”

This is 1891:

“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die.”

Well, well, well, who is the arti—It’s Basil. He’s literally talking about Basil here. AND GUESS WHAT VIOLETS MEAN IN VICTORIAN FLOWER LANGUAGE?

A couple of things actually, but the top three are:

‘Faithfulness, Modesty, and Love.’

Henry emotionally had been faithful to Basil. While I doubt he was monogamous in anyway, Basil held a special place that no else would ever have. Not even Dorian.

And this brings me back to the quote that originally sent me down this rabbit hole:

“I had buried my romance in a bed of asphodel.”

In the 1890 version, it says:

“I had buried my romance in a bed of poppies.”

Poppies are known to mean death and would have fit perfectly if Henry was saying he felt nothing for the relationship, but what does asphodel mean?

‘Love Beyond The Grave’, ‘Remembered Beyond The Tomb’ and sometimes, ‘My regrets follow you to the grave’. 

(NOTE: please keep in mind floriography could mean certain things based on the color and the type of flowers. That being said, considering Wilde described the shit out of every setting he wrote, the lack of detail about the flowers suggest the most broad meaning is meant to be taken.)

Henry isn't over Basil. He couldn't kill the love, so he buried it and took Dorian as a consolation and revenge. He will never be able to get over Basil until Basil or himself dies.

BOY DO I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR HENRY/s

#long post #this is an opinion and a theory. #the picture of dorian gray #basil hallward #dorian gray #henry wotton #book theory #been workshopping this for some time #this post is very long and i didn't even get to go into my favorite example ;-; #anyways shout out to TheMissingMask on Ao3 for writing the fanfic that first got me into this theory. Their fanfic Eros is really good!! #You should read it #honestly read all their tpodg fics #does this make me an english major? uh oh #if someone else has made this kind of post already my bad lol #use this as supplemental or even confirmation #i will be back with the more headcanon-y part that relates to the first chapter alone. but for now i've got a chapter to finish ;)

[etoilesbienne]

out of curiosity, what are the common qEtoiles mischaracterizations, and the accurate characterizations you wished people used more? Sincerely, an English speaking fan who is re-learning French!

honestly i kind of consider it a mischaracterization when people like... make etoiles into this team leader who always knows what to do and move things forward. or like that he has a bad attitude to like... match his fighting skills. or like the dark knight brooding warrior. he says he is these things. these are lies. he lies about himself constantly. i wouldnt trust a good 2/3 of the things he says about himself to be true. you read him clearer through his actions than his statements.

in my opinion etoiles is more like. sturdy second in command. he's not there to lead, he's there to fill in the holes where they pop up. he's there as cover. he's quick witted in shortchange scenarios, but that is so not the same thing as a genuine strategist. in another expression, if someone is a leader, the leader is a doctor, etoiles's role is more like... the EMS team in an ambulance. He's not there to fix your problem, he's there to keep your problem covered until you can get someone else to fully fix it. but that doesn't mean his role is any less important when he's needed.

Etoiles is also, like, so very much a team player if he respects and trusts a person. And it is so easy to have his respect and trust. His trust starts at 100% for everyone. he's also so very very very good at reading people (gesture to the bbh clip where bbh moves his mouse slightly downward and etoiles calls him out on being depressed). He read Mousey as enjoying dungeons and pvp way more and wanting to hang out with her. He's also one of the only people who like continuously runs in the girlies group and makes all of them pvp with him and they all love it so he keeps coming back to pvp with them. Thats how he started his whole thing with Tina and pvping with her constantly. Reading other people also, he loves finding other pvpers so he attacks roier constantly now bc he knows roier can pvp.

What else OH Etoiles loves whining (and this is because Rayou loves whining) that dude will just complain constantly. You haven't seen an etoiles stream if youve never seen him whine. Can't say I'm not kind of endeared by it. With this too he loves over explaining things (RIP armor powerpoint wish you couldve been given...) because he wants to help everyone....

OH and he's very over exaggerated too in replying to people in a complaining way and a self deprecating way and also likes to try to push the envelope with people and he does all of that to try and get a laugh out of others. like he's well aware people find him going "Oh so you don't give a shit about me and want me to die ? you want etoiles to die ?" fucking hilarious and also loves complaining in the first place thats why he does that. if your etoiles isn't complaining and whining then it isn't etoiles. the self deprecating thing is... its interesting bc he does have full faith in his abilities but will never say it out loud unless its trying to reassure someone who is worried. pushing the envelope is so specific he won't do it too much and its like........... from what ive seen (correct me if im wrong) heavily directed at non francophones where if they laugh at something wack he's done he'll try to do it again to make them laugh more. shoutout to the time he made bbh laugh so much when he cursed he didn't get languaged by bbh so he kept cursing to try to make bbh do it again. the dudes a total people pleaser.

smaller thing ive talked about extensively already (u can prob find it in my q!etoiles tag if i remember i'll edit a link to the posts in here soon lol) etoiles hates losing he looooooves winning he's very intense about it lol. its cute!

on a final note even if you don't become deeply unwell about etoiles like i am i think this highlight clip video has like everything he's like condensed into like 11 minutes. You should watch it. It's a good starting point.

#qsmp #q!etoiles #asks #hope this helps. Ahehe

[wassupmygays]

ummm hello I would like way more about hunger games au pls I'll take anything wheres Jimmy where's Tango wheres Scar from I will take whatever you give me I will go feral over this thank you

!!!! ok first off i just wanna say u made my day with this ask im so excited that other people r excited abt this and want to hear my explosions (also i definitely want to make individual profile posts for each tribute so this will be. sparknotes of what i have thought up so far :D) Tango - i have tango in district 3, along with mumbo. district 3 is the technology district, and with mumbos redstone contraptions and tango's decked out programming, it felt very obvious placements to me :] i dont think they were very close at all before the games. not in a bad way, just they didn't cross eachothers paths all that much (subject to change but in life series canon theyre never on the same team iirc). theyre cordial in the proceedings before the games but dont train together or plan to team up. tango, skizz, and bigb eventually ally together during the training days before the games! (aka heart foundation) Jimmy - jimmy and scar are actually from the same district, district 11! 11 is the agriculture district, and to place jimmy in this district i pulled from his ranchers and empires sheriff vibes if that makes sense. i also just know that 11 is one of the poorest districts and doesn't usually do well in the games, and we all know jimmy in these games. (i considered jimmy in 12 bc of the canary thing, but skizz and impulse r from there and i figured putting him somewhere else is fun too!) scar - as said above, scar is from district 11! i don't think he is expected to do super well in the games from the reaping, but during interviews its clear that he has the charisma to get some sponsors. i honestly haven't thought up all that much for scar yet but dw i will (he literally wins. how could i ignore him) fun fact! scar and jimmy were going to kind of team together, but during the first day of training, scott (career tribute) makes some joke to gem about how they wouldnt stand a chance if they teamed together bc of their district. jimmy let this get in his head and decided to split from scar, causing both of them to be loners at the start of the games. jimmy eventually finds martyn during the games and they ally bc of reasons (that i can get into if we want to), but scar stays relatively alone honestly most of these tributes and their district placements are pretty set in my mind, except for martyn, cleo, and bigb, who i still can't figure out where to put (if anyone has suggestions pls send them lmao). ive got some bits and plot points from the series already worked out into a hunger games universe, but a lot of it i dont! if theres any specific part of the series anyone wants to ask about, please do!! i work best when someone tells me what to brainstorm on lmao. anyways lol hope yall r liking this! i dont have any clue if it will gain any traction, but i've been thinking abt this au so much since the finale and i wanted to try and share it and talk about it with people :D pls send comments or asks abt any of it if you want to !!!

#secret life #life series #traffic life series #trafficblr #jimmy solidarity #tango tek #tangotek #goodtimeswithscar #hunger games au #secret life hgau #asked and answered

[bomberqueen17]

what is up froods

lol i keep forgetting to like. actually write updates in my personal journal. i'm using this tumblr too much like a tumblr.

i went down a rabbit hole the other night in that i just opened my own archives and went back to 2013 and then realized i started this in 2011. i didn't say a lot, back then i definitely was still using my LJ for Big Personal Updates and Tumblr was exclusively for snappy shitposts, and then I abandoned the LJ and only blogged in snappy shitposts for a while, and I did some vagueblogging that I genuinely have no idea what it was about, and that's fun.

But there's some. Boy there's some real fossils in there. God everything stays the same but everything happens so much.

I know I've backed up this blog but IDK how much you can make it make sense, offline. Anyway. That's how it goes. I'm not in any kind of existential panic about the site I'm just reacting to the zeigeist here, it made me think of old times.

I go back to the farm in a couple of weeks-- just for a couple of weeks, but the Season is Starting. My physical therapist keeps giving me more exercises. She's right, my core strength is wretched, but when I said I'd tried to do crunches now and then, tried to stay a tiny bit fit but-- she was like omg no you can't do crunches, with that hip cartilage as it is, so I felt a little better. So she's teaching me what I *can* do, and the important thing is that she's like you cannot do this more than every other day or three times a week, you cannot rush this kind of thing, and it's wonderful advice contrary to all the other advice I've ever had in my life which was like every moment you're not doing more work you're being a lazy shit. So, that's nice. I'll cut because nothing else here is going to be interesting.

I'm not the youngest person at physical therapy but there's a lot of old people there. I haven't been masking, I've been being lazy and just using xylitol nose spray before I go, and it's been fine, but I know that's just luck. (I see no one but Dude, who sees almost no one but me, so the consequences of fucking up would be minor.) with a trip to the farm coming up, I'm going to go back to masking, at least in the lead-up to the trip-- because last time I had COVID I had almost no symptoms, and nowadays apparently the rapid tests aren't super useful. The way I'm coping is, I know, a logical fallacy-- since COVID wasn't bad the one time I had it, I'm just telling myself I'm resistant naturally and it won't hurt me, and I know this is not the truth at all but it helps me cope-- but I cannot stand the thought of spreading it to someone who would be more hurt by it, so I have convinced myself not to fear catching it but to fear spreading it. I figure it's effectively the same and lets me not just be fucking terrified all the time.

I also discovered that a former employee of the farm who's out here going to college is interested in carpooling, and we've already got a tentative date for him to ride back with me on my way back from the farm at the end of March, and this has lightened my spirits a great deal. It's such a long drive and it feels like such a waste of gas, and he does have a car but it's not actually that safe to drive on the Thruway. (He swears up and down it's perfectly safe but just not at sustained speeds over 60. I was like omg kid do NOT, I will drive, my car is brand fkn new. He's taking the train home and will ride back with me.)

Let's see. Oh I don't think I've kept up with posting about the kitchen painting. It's down to the last tiny fiddly details, and what I've got to do is do a half-stencil in the corner above the door, and I did one half yesterday and will finish the rest today. I had to custom cut out a copy of part of the stencil to make it work, and it's sort of janky and I am going to have to hand-paint it with a lot of masking tape, but it's such a small area that like, why not, I can be that fussy. It's fine.

Once I finish that, which if I do part in the morning and part in the afternoon I can do today, then I can FINALLY CLEAN UP AND PUT AWAY all the painting detritus. I can't tell you how excited I am to do that.

I've also been doing fabric dyeing, finally. I collected several of the muslin garments I'd finished and meant to do something with, and got out my dyes. I did a batch of ice dye solely because I forgot which ones I'd intended to use for that; now I have a pair of slightly ill-fitting homemade leggings that look like a clown threw up on them, and a cheerful sweatshirt to match. i then used the runoff to dye the cream-colored canvas work smock-- I sort of tie-dyed it because I pasted up a little bit of two of the component colors and poured that on a couple areas that I then rubberbanded, because I wanted tie-dye but did not want any white areas left. So it's a blue/purple/red smock now, and the rainbow stitching I constructed it with was polyester so it's still rainbow, huzzah. Subtle and understated and also I can smear it with filth and maybe it will still look intentional.

[image description: a canvas work smock with big pockets, hanging to dry, mostly a mucky dark purple but with some brighter splotches of red and dark blue, and some bits of paler purple.]

[image description: assorted garments draped over drying racks in a sunporch, in blotchy shades of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, all kind of run together but not murky.]

And then I did another batch of ice dye, this time with the dyes I had bought that are supposed to work well for this because they split. That dress is still in the wash so I don't have pictures of how it turned out, but mostly it just looks splotchy green. LOL oh well. The point was, I made all these test garments in undyed fabric, but I don't have a lifestyle where I can wear a white dress, so now I have some non-white dresses I don't have to be precious about. Some of them I should now probably hem and like actually finish..........

I have one dress and one shirt left, and a pair of light-wash jeans I don't like wearing, and I'm thinking about trying like. Ombre or something. We'll see if I get around to that.

My sewing area is still a fuckin disaster and I don't want to think about it. But I'm cutting out a vest from scrap denim, I want a quilted abrasion-resistant washable work vest for farm work next week and I gotta get a move on. All I need now is to cut out the batting and get to it. So hopefully today.

I took photos, I might try writing up how-tos on the dyeing and on the repurposed denim stuff, but I also might not. If I was doing this again I would probably not bother with the ice, for the rainbow one. We'll see once the properly ice dyed dress comes out of this wash, I can hear the washer spinning but I'm trapped under Chita at the moment.

I missed this week's fic update because I'm progressing so slowly on both current active WIPs. I have a bunch written ahead in both, but each one has the back half of the current chapter just held up waiting for me to write them; I've overcome the structural decisions that delayed me, but I have to just sit and write them. And both of them are complicated scenes I've been waiting to write a long time, so I'm looking forward to writing them, and so like, paradoxically, can't make myself do it. Because once I've done it I'll have done it, see... anyway. Silly but there it is. I'll get through it once I decide I deserve that treat. I know! I know.

#about the author #state of the me

[ozwuv]

I love your art! So, I was wondering if you have any drawing tips you could give?

Hiii thank you so much for the kind words, I am really glad you like it!!! :’3

As far as tips, this is kind of a broad question that I think it varies widely in terms of how you want your art to look. Personally, my main priorities are fluidity and character interaction, so that’s what I focus on even though it means I don’t really draw elaborate backgrounds and such. I’m sure I could become better at other things if I tried, but I’m not a professional nor am I trying to be, so I just focus on what’s fun to me.

Putting the rest of this under a cut bc it's gonna be long

As for actual advice, I have three big rules which I think have helped me continue to enjoy drawing as long as I have, which is the most important thing to me. I started drawing as soon as I could hold a pencil, and it's been my main outlet for good and bad times throughout my whole life (I am 26 now). Other people liking what I draw is a treat, but as long as I have fun, that’s ultimately what matters to me. That said, please keep in mind I am speaking solely for myself here since everyone draws for different reasons and in different ways.

The first thing is avoiding perfectionism at all costs when drawing, because it sucks the fun out of the process and ruins the visual fluidity in whatever I’m working on. An example of this is that I don’t like to go back and revise lines I’ve already placed, because the more I try to polish them, the stiffer they look. Even in digital art I try to roll with mistakes instead of erasing, or just completely undo the line I placed and try again. 

The other thing is something I actually picked up from dog training which is arguably my biggest passion in life. There’s a common saying amongst dog trainers: No “one more time” — which essentially means that when find yourself thinking “one more time,” you need switch gears immediately and do something else because you have hit your frustration threshold and every attempt from then on will be frustrating & counterproductive for both you and the dog. 

This applies to pretty much every aspect of life for me, but it made a huuuge difference when I started to consider it within the context of drawing. If I just stop whatever I’m frustrated with and go back to it later, 99% of the time I can pinpoint exactly what bothered me and how I could have fixed it. I’m typically not the type to work on something over various sittings, so even if I don’t finish the picture I was working on after coming back to it, being able to pinpoint what went wrong about it is a lesson I can apply to whatever I work on next.

The third rule ties into the last one, which is just not pushing myself. If I’m not having fun with a drawing anymore, I’m not going to force it. If it’s not coming out the way I want it to, I’m not gonna push it. Any time I've pushed through frustration to finish something, I wound up disliking how it came out. This isn’t really realistic for someone who is a professional (or aiming to be), but for me who just likes drawing anime characters for fun, it’s perfect. Because of this, I haven’t dealt with constant art blocks like I used to. I definitely still have them, but they're usually brief and not distressing to me. I feel like I’ve kind of stagnated the past several years, but at the end of the day I have a blast when I draw and that’s all that matters to me!

There's a common sentiment that everybody hates/is embarrassed of the things they drew in the past or even right after finishing and/or posting them. But it doesn't have to be like that, and imo it shouldn't. I think that just means there are some things about one's process and mindset that need to be reflected on.

Hopefully that helps somewhat, but YMMV if your priorities are more in the vein of constant improvement and/or being a professional :] I know this was kind of an abstract response, so if anyone has specific questions feel free to ask lol

#yip yap

[msnihilist]

what do you think about rook's character in ben 10 in general?you know I never really liked that he was this serious and workaholic partner from beginning to nearly the end,in Wikipedia says he's kinda ben's other best friend too but they hardly had a memorable scence for that together maybe except 1 or 2,and also he has scenes where he mocks ben seriously which I didn't like,idk it feels like his character is so unexplored he had more potential to him since he was ben's partner replacing gwevin in OV so just wanted to know your opinion👍🏻

I've already put all of my thoughts about Rook into my fics. Namely, Separately (S2-era Rook, who would disrespect Ben's boundaries purely for his own curiosity and then feels like shit for it), In All The World... (pre-canon Rook, and how/why I think he grew to idolize Ben and become a Plumber), Cross Your Heart (and Hope to Die) (puts Rook through absolute hell to break him down into one of the rawest character studies I've ever done), and Diamonds Are Forever (post-canon fic that explores the kind of person Rook is and how Ben has changed who he wants to grow to be/how Rook defines himself without Ben around).

But I know that's a lot to read, so here are the SparkNotes:

Rook mellows out a lot by season eight. This change is incredibly noticeable if you watch two episodes back-to-back.

Ben and Rook are very close, and this is something else you can see if you watch season one and then season eight to compare.

I think Ben and Rook had plenty of memorable scenes/moments. Their fake fight in season one, Rook being pushy during Showdown and later apologizing for it, "I don't always get him, but he's cool." "The feeling is mutual.", Rook physically holding Ben back from attacking someone (twice, lol), Rook fighting Lord Transyl's mind-control to warn Ben, "I have worked with Ben long enough to know that when he foolishly charged headlong into a trap, I should have foolishly charged after him.", Ben meeting Rook's family, literally all of their interactions in The Vengers, "Ben! I made a wisecrack!", acting like proud parents after Young One's tail fell off, Rook's promotion to Magister (and their successful fist bump!!), "It has been an honor to fight at your side," (Rook using his final words to tell Ben how important their partnership has been to him and that he doesn't regret a thing just does something to me), etc. If you don't think they're as iconic as Ben and Kevin, that's fair, but they do objectively have plenty of relationship-defining moments.

Rook has scenes where he mocks Ben. In early seasons, this is a character flaw. In later seasons, this is a product of the Omniverse writers thinking it's funny when the punchline to a joke is, "Ben's an idiot." If I held it against Rook, I'd have to hold it against literally every character... So I ignore it, lol.

Here are some episodes that I think do a good job of exploring Rook's character.

S2E6: Bros In Space

S2E7: Arrested Development (not a character-heavy episode, I just think Rook is really funny in this one.)

S3E2: Tummy Trouble

S3E8: While You Were Away ("You have become a hero while you were away," just makes me grin like an idiot every time.)

S3E10: The Frogs of War: Part 2

S4E2: The Ultimate Heist (I loved the scene towards the end where Albedo called Rook out on his willful ignorance.)

S4E8: OTTO Motives

S6E1: Catfight (Another one where Rook is really funny.)

S7E2: Rook Tales (Rook's fight with Kundo is iconic as hell to me. "You taught me everything you know. But we are not in your training hall anymore.")

S8E6: The Final Countdown

S8E10: A New Dawn

Rook is not an overly complicated person. He's a solid guy who gets character development and learns to loosen/open up. He's not as nuanced as Kevin. He doesn't have the history with Ben that Gwen does. But Rook is not a bad character by any means, and his bond with Ben feels earned.

But if you still aren't impressed with Rook, you can always rewatch UAF :p

#ben 10 #ben tennyson #rook blonko #my writing #ben 10 discussion #ask #anonymous #Rook isn't as obviously flawed as Kevin is so you have to actually Look and Pay Attention to see his character development #but it is definitely there #S8 Rook and S1 Rook are two totally different people

[esther-dot]

I have a Tumblr account (been using Tumblr since 2011, account made 2013), but I'm too shy to post in the Jonsa fandom. I saw a Jonsa whose fanfic was plagiarised by a very angry J/onarya troll and it terrified me. That being said, I'm currently on a break from my regular fandom because someone upset about what I ship (an innocuous ship, nothing actually bad-- trust me lol, tamer than Jonsa) tried to doxx me. Maybe my metric for bad fandoms is a bit skewiff. 🤔

The Jonsa fandom has been a comfort during this trying time, especially reading people having positive feedback to my anon asks. 😭😭😭 So, seriously, I do think asks are an important part of the ecosystem, and probably what's notable to me about the Jonsa fandom is that blogs and ask contributors alike are actually very sensible and thoughtful. Not sure how many fandoms everybody else has been in, but it's a rather rare thing in my experience.

(Continuation of this convo)

I’m so sorry that happened to you! People can be so awful over nothing. I’m glad you’re hanging with us for a bit, but I hope that things are resolved for you in your regular fandom. Hate that people won’t just filter tags they don’t like but go to such extremes. So frightening. I hope you’re ok and find the Jonsa fandom a pleasant distraction!

This is my first fandom. I’m trying to hang in there until TWOW, but I promised myself it’s also the last fandom I’ll ever get sucked into. 😂

I totally agree about the asks/answers. I’ve scrolled through tags for other shows just to see what other fandoms are like, and I def got the impression Jonsa attracts a certain kind of person and therefore, has a rather unique vibe.

Whether it’s because there are so many adults in the fandom or because it tended to attract people who have a literary bent or because you have to love Sansa to enjoy the ship which kinda winnows things down for ya, it always seemed to me like there were dozens of really intelligent and funny people involved—on anon or not!

So much has already been said about the books, I rarely have a thought that I feel compelled to post, but when I answer asks, I often rethink certain scenes / lines and find something interesting to chew on. I’ve changed my thinking a few times because of asks, so it’s a part of fandom I really enjoy.

You’ve been around much longer than me, I’m curious when you heard about Jonsa? Meta? Fanfic? Did it grow on you because of the logic or is your interest strictly fanon? GoT fan or ASOIAF or both? If a show fan, what do you think about Kit’s planned sequel? If a book fan, is Martin gonna drop TWOW on us in a few months or is it gonna be a year+?

I really am sorry about your experience, and I hope you’re taking good care of yourself!

#dot chat

[toytle]

Hi! I love your art style it's like. Breathtaking. And your hcs on barry are some of my favourites of all time?

What do you think of "The Ballad of Barry Allen by Jim's Big Ego as an analysis of Barry's character?

are you asking or are you telling me 🤨 lol THANK YOU i put all my headcanon power into him <3

for the ballad, i love their song stress, and this isn’t bad at all as far as fansongs go. but there’s a reason i don’t include it in my barry playlist, and it’s ultimately bc it doesn’t fit my narrative haha

the song was made in 2003 and i haven’t read many comics before then, so idk how well it aligns w barry’s characterization prior to flashpoint, but i’m basing my playlist off post-flashpoint, so that’s where a lot of the differences will lie

for starters, the song only includes one half of barry’s relationship to his superspeed, and it’s important to me that a barry interpretation includes both sides of that coin. instead, it’s playing on the idea of the dark side of the hero fantasy, an inherently optimistic genre. which, fair, being a superhero sounds like a nightmare, but that angle is less novel to me when that’s the extent of the analysis (and i’m a little over the whole “i hate being a superhero” storyline in general, personally). the song is basically abt how much it would suck to have superspeed bc the world slows to a crawl and you’re left behind bc no one else can keep up w you. and it’s true, that is a very real setback! especially for someone like barry who’s already prone to self-isolation and time management issues! but what does the song actually have to say abt him as a character?

the thing is, barry isn’t a “i wish i wasn’t a hero” kind of guy. he’s a “could i be so strong [to give up the flash]? or do i love the thrill of these powers too much?” kind of guy. he’s a “knowing what i know now… if i could go back in time… maybe i would’ve been somewhere else the day lightning struck my lab and electrified those chemicals, ready and willing to forfeit a life of dodging deathtraps and battling villains… who am i kidding? there’s no going back. no do-overs. like everyone else, superheroes can only follow the path destiny has laid out for them, whatever lies ahead.” kind of guy. yes, barry is caged by his superspeed, but it would be misleading to not present it first and foremost as the very thing that frees him. it’s a double-edged sword that gives him purpose, and that freedom in obligation is what motivates him to keep going. as a wise man once said, “all you can do is go forward.” (“thanks.” “superman is pretty smart isn’t he.” “hm.”)

i think the real kicker for me was this lyric: “i’ve got time to think about the past… how my life was so exciting before i got this way.” my sincerest apologies to mr. allen, but he does not feel complete to me without his mother’s death or his father’s false imprisonment. this backstory contextualizes everything for me. his life was NOT exciting before his superspeed, it was lonely and full of escapism, either in his sci-fi/comics or his dedication to finding justice. i am of the belief that barry didn’t truly start living until he got his superspeed, over 2 decades of waiting around before he rly understood freedom and what it meant to live for himself. i get what they’re trying to do here, but this is what i mean when i say it feels like the song characterizes barry around the concept of his speed rather than how barry’s speed defines him as a person

ik i can’t expect a 4min song to include every aspect of a character’s timeline/development/nuance (esp before some of that even existed lol), but my issue isn’t that it doesn’t cover enough ground—it’s not bad that they had a theme and stuck by it, i actually love the lyrics from a speedster perspective. my issue is that i don’t think this is a good framing for barry’s character as a whole. for all his regrets and suffering, barry is optimistic to the point of denial. choosing this to be The theme to represent barry just. doesn’t feel like barry to me. it’s more like barry is the placeholder subject as an excuse to sing abt superspeed

if this was somehow less overtly a “BARRY ALLEN FANSONG” and maybe more metaphorical or even non-fandom, then it would be a dif situation and i might have dif opinions. at the end of the day, this has more to do w my pickiness than the quality of the song, and the fact that it even exists is so exciting for me as a barry allen enjoyer first, human second. but if you’re going to call smth a character study, i Will be getting my hopes up

#barry allen #the flash #dc #danswers #danbles #i’ve never had to put this into coherent thought before usually i’m just being a hater unprompted in my friends’ dms LOL #which i think should emphasize that my opinions say more abt me than this song or even barry #but ty for the kind words + ask! this was rly fun to rattle around in my brain #i love having strong opinions abt things that don’t matter 😋

[theheraldsrest]

Hello! First of all, I'd like to say I love your writing and the blog/posts organization is just so neat.

I wanted to know if you write things with trans characters? If not that's completely fine too.

If yes, here's my request: how about the Inquisitor coming out as a trans man? As in, he already passes as a man, but somehow the companions learn about it, like them seeing surgery scars and the Inquisitor coming out or something similar.

The characters I'd really like to see would be Dorian, Cullen, Solas.

If it helps, my Inquisitor is Lavellan and mage.

This is a pretty self indulgent request lol but feel free to change anything in the it if it helps in the writing!

“Companions react to Mage!Lavellan!Inquisitor coming out as Trans(Male)”

Got a bad joke for yall. “What did Andraste keep losing at her wedding? The Veil, it kept Fading away.” Not sorry.

-Lord Lex

Cullen

-Panics over your scars because WHAT KIND OF CREATURE WOULD CAUSE THAT SORT OF TEARING?! After a a quick explanation, he is a little embarrased but respects that. Will still call you sir and what not. What? He respects anyone who wants to fight, no matter who they are. He’ll defend your honor and stand by you if someone tries to pry or make comments on it, no matter what

Josephine

-Concerned and asks if the scars were meant to be there or if something happened. Coming out to her, you just get a “Oh! Understandable,” and goes about her day. She won’t say anything more about it but, if she does have one or two questions, she might ask privately and if you’re alright with answering. Wants to make sure you’re alright.

Leliana

-First thought was that someone tortured you and that she needs to go out for blood. Telling her, she’ll calm down and go about her business. She’s very neutral about it. Doesn’t matter if you’re male or female, if you can stab something, you’re good.

Vivienne

-Oh, congrats darling! She thinks you look perfect but does excuse herself since you didn’t have the chance to tell her how you wanted to. Is curious on who did it for you because it is some exceptional work.

Varric

-Already respected you but it’s a new found respect. Good for you for being who you want to be. Knows a few people who’ve been through the same, some with similar stories and some with different. Well, some don’t get as easy a chance but that’s why he’s happy for you. You made it so far.

Cole

-He knows. I mean, he’s always known like everybody else, right? You became yourself a long time ago. What people see is you but they don’t know that there was another you. The one that you had to be, not wanted to be. There are scars there, to prove it, but they don’t see the ones that he does. The painful ones, the hardened ones, the once-loved ones. He sees you.

Solas

-Huh. Interesting. Solas will then excuse himself for intruding on you. What? That’s your business. What you care to share with him is up to you. He can only choose how he responds and he responds by complimenting you on this change. Though he is a little curious on what others might think, he’ll be there if you need someone. Or even taking it to the grave. He’s a very good liar, trust me.

(Personal headcanon: I think elves just don't care. I don't mean that in a rude aspect. I mean they'll respect you for your choices and how you treat your people and others.)

Cassandra

-Has to pause for a solid minute to comprehend. She’ll be very flustered and a little red in the face as she looks away to give you privacy but she will also have you be very exact on how she should address you. It’s not hard for her to remember, but she just wants to make sure she hasn’t been fucking up this entire time and calling you something you rather not be called.

The Iron Bull

-...Was…was he not supposed to know? If this had been his first time witnessing this sort of thing, he might have made even less of a deal about it. Bull’s from the Qun, after all. They don’t care about that. But having known someone who’s had to go through something similar, he treats it with caution and makes sure to know what you’re ok with. It’s important to know who’s on your side and how they see you, to know you got people in your corner who will respect you even when you share something like this.

Dorian

-Fuck yeah! Good for you! Good on you for being who you want to be and not letting some arse holes choose for you! This calls for drinks! Kidding, but he will pretend he doesn’t know so that you can come out on your own terms to him. And then you’ll get drinks. Gods help the poor fool who tries to make a rude comment on it or just be a complete buffoon when addressing you. You both still laugh about the one noble’s butt catching fire.

Sera

-It quite surprises her. At first, she thought it was some sort of joke tattoo about boobs. Until you tell her what they really are. Perplexed and a little fascinated, she just starts bombarding you with a bunch of questions. If you don’t want her to ask much about it, she’ll stop and respect your space. She’s a heathen so she knows when to step over some lines, but she also knows when to draw the line.

Blackwall

-Oh, nice scars. He’s got a few on his chest as well. There’s this one from a battle a few years ago, there’s this one from a misunderstanding, there’s- Wait, what. You come out to him and he sits there for a tic, processing. But you’re male right? Yes, you tell him, but you weren’t always. But you are now? Then that’s what matters. He’ll still call you sir and such because that’s who you are.

#dai #dragon age inquisition #inquisitor #cullen rutherford #commander cullen #dragon age josephine #josephine montilyet #lelianna #leliana #madame vivienne #madame de fer #vivienne #varric dai #varric tethras #dai cole #cole #dai solas #fenharel #dai cassandra #cassandra pentaghast #the iron bull #iron bull #dai dorian #dorian pavus #dai sera #sera #blackwall #thom rainier

[quarterdollar]

gabrielagresteofficial ultimate swag reveal

mmmmhey guys it’s meee i’m the one making all those poasts :)🦋 my name is victor and i ❤️ insane old people

i had this whole insane melodramatic idea to wait until season 5 ended to go public but i forgot show hiatuses exist and i’m starting to feel like an asshat letting everyone’s kind messages and tags go unacknowledged so here i ammm. i just want to say thank you to everybody who’s gotten a kick out of the blog, it really is fantastic to hear that i can make people laugh and that’s what i love to do most so i just wanted to let you all know that i appreciate everybody so much. it’s actually been an insanely bad year for me LOL but goofing around on the internet and having people enjoy the jokes and jests has been a net positive. you guys have been so sweet and it really does mean a lot.

i also just wanna say that there are a lot of you (2300+ like holy shit) and you guys send a lot of asks and i Love And Appreciate Them All. and if i don’t get to yours i PROMMY it is NOT personal i probably just couldn’t think of an in-character response that was as funny as the original question OR i was tired OR tumblr ate it. alas i am but one man roleplaying as a different, animated, much worse man

WHAT ELSE. uh. i’m constantly rotating gabriel’s hysterically flat french ass in my mind i do love him so much legitimately but i’m not really involved with the greater fanbase beyond like, talking to myself and tagging posts about him with the most insane bullshit the ops have probably ever read. my main fan thing is actually Pokemon, and surprise surprise all of my favorites from that are the various insane dad-aged fantasy terrorists. i have a type and it’s stupid as fuck and i’ve accepted this <4 please don’t think i’m an apologist though i’m just addicted to studying sillay cartoon freaks under a microscope

that’s all i really wanted to sayWait I just remembered i have 3 acknowledgements:

@wanderingaviator for being the blog’s first follower all the way back last year when i made it on a whim as a goof. THANKYOU for investing in small businesses

@sunfoxfic as i need to thank you for your endless enthusiasm and incredibly kind comments But Also i must now officially turn down your various marriage proposals. alas i am already happily committed to someone else but i am flattered nonetheless

@dupainchengisthenewblack for being my swag mutual. stay winning

okay now i’m done xoxo. thank you again everybody for your continued support of gabe’s tumblrina era i cherish you all immensely. this will be the first And last time gabrielagresteofficial breaks kayfabe so look forward to more erratically scheduled and incomprehensible evilposting in the future (i’m a lil burned out atm but he never leaves me don’t worry). ok thank’s bye

#gabrielagresteofficial #mutuals who dont care CONTINUE to not care dont even worry about it. <3

[deeaselriel]

Everyone has been treating Elriels SO BAD and disgustingly over the years, and when we defend ourselves we are painted as the “mEaN gUyS”. I’d dare to say that we are the “saints” of this fandom. I know there are some Elriels that can come off more rude than they should, but this is life. Nothing is perfect.

But a hard pill for y’all to swallow is that Elriels are usually soooo peaceful, minding their business and just enjoying their CANON content. They create edits, fan arts and post about Elriel not harming anyone, but then YOU KNOW WHO comes after us, ON OUR ACCOUNTS, ON OUR PRO ELRIEL VIDEOS, PICS OR THEORIES, that have absolutely NOTHING to do with their crackship(s), and spew their venom. They speak so many lies that don’t even come close to what is the CANON content of the books. They insult us and call us names, they bullied some creators SO BADLY they refuse to do Elriel fan arts anymore. YOU ALL ARE DISGUSTING AND I PRAY TO GOD FOR KARMA TO HIT SO HARD! I myself was a victim of y’all’s bullying when I did NOTHING! I just appreciated my Elriel and put facts on the table. Y’all told me I deserve to be R@PED just like Elain deserves!!!!

We, Elriels, have been put in a corner by THE ENTIRE FANDOM! This mob mentality made y’all treat Elriels like people with some kind of disease and it’s so sad honestly.

I’m not even being biased when I say that Elriels are usually very good people minding their business and the other stans of those 2 ships (y’all know) are constantly attacking us and making fun of us out of nowhere. They keep making content about Elain making fun of her, but yeah, they don’t like her. Lol. Y’all are so obsessed and have such internalized misogyny it’s scary. Especially when El didn’t do anything wrong, besides maybe the thing with Feyre that she’s making up for it. She’s a saint compared to many others in that serie, yet… she’s hated for liking to bake and plant flowers. Make it make sense. 😶

I think it’ll be ok for everyone to acknowledge WHO exactly is the most toxic in this fandom; who’s constantly attacking us for PUTTING FACTS on the table, who’s bullying artists into being scared to draw Elriel anymore, who’s harassing SJM at this point with a crackship that has 0 buildup. WHO IS SENDING DEATH THREATS to people so randomly just because, who is wishing R@PE on REAL people? The list is so long I just can’t…

I always knew that the mob mentality is forever going to be present, but OH MY GOD. These people that hate Elriel and ship the other ship just because “everyone does”, those going into the books already shipping Gw*nriel because “some content creators of TikTok said they’re sooooo endgame”, THOSE BIG ACCOUNTS THAT SPREAD ELAIN HATE JUST BECAUSE IT’S “TRENDY”. Y’all are SO pathetic; I wonder if you can think on your own.

Should I also talk about how often y’all don’t acknowledge what’s in those books related to Elriel? There are tons of evidence y’all pretend it’s not there and have THE NERVE to say Az only wants El for s*x. Bro, Feyre when she couldn’t read would’ve understand these books (and Elriel) better than y’all. 🤓 The delusional world y’all live in makes me laugh. What’s even funnier is when you are the ones making fun of US, when we have all our proof that Stands with us. WE ARE ON THE CANON SIDE, if we can say it this way.

Literally at this point, STOP being so toxic, and let Elriels IN PEACE. Acknowledge that Az and El have feelings for each other and that EVERYTHING points to them as endgame, and even SJM herself said that “it’s obvious”. None of us would’ve have any problem if y’all only acknowledged that Elriel is for the next book, and then go on with your day and make X head canon ships. It’s not harming to ship Az with someone else for fun, but when it comes to the ACTUAL BOOK & CANON, the answer it’s only Elriel. Just stop lying to yourselves. And stop playing the victim when Elriels have been like in prison for many years, being pushed aside and all. WE ARE THE VICTIMS OF THIS WHOLE FANDOM. The fact that I’m scared to even write a comment positive about Elriel or my girl Elain because I just know someone’s gonna say something “ironic” or bash me for whatever reason, says A LOT. And it’s the case for soooo many Elriels.

One last thing, I know we are reading fantasy books, but at least don’t make a fantasy of a couple the main talk of this fandom, lol. The couple should actually have “history”, build up & hints/ foreshadowing. CANON SCENES. And only Elriel has them. BYE. 🩷🌸💙🦇

#acotar #elriel #pro elriel #elriel endgame #elriel supremacy #elain archeron #pro elain archeron #azriel #azriel shadowsinger #pro azriel

[trashlie]

ILY FP 239

Good grief I'm so out of practice, getting this thing going feels like pulling teeth, I'm so rusty!!! Bear with me if this one feels a little weirder than usual. I can't say I'm fully back to myself at this point but i'm not as out of it as I have been, so I might as well take advantage of this moment while I can! I really loved this episode and I still want to talk about it, and since it will be free this week, I want to get this one out of the way so this post will be available for those who are looking for it!

Honestly this is an episode I did NOT think we would be getting for a long time - but I've been saying that for a lot of these episodes, haven't I? lol But seriously, quimchee keeps giving us so much of what I've wanted but thought we'd have to wait til season 2 for!

Before I get distracted by the part of the episode that really occupied my brain, I'd like to touch on the opening. Dieter is the kind of character who I don't think would ordinarily talk behind someone's back, but clearly this is a special circumstance. He's rightfully concerned and worried about Nol and asking Nana for insight was not a bad move, even if it doesn't yield a lot of results. I was so, SO hoping in 238 that Dieter would remember what happened at the arcade, that SOMEONE would make a connection to that time that Nol acted SO out of character and weird (in their minds) so when Soushi mentioned the arcade I was CHEERING.

They are SO close and idk if Nana being cryptic made things worse or not. Soushi and Dieter seem to be under the impression that Yui is his mom, even though the news did report him as the illegitimate child. it's all so in the moment right now that perhaps they'll be able to connect the dots shortly - I just need them to keep in mind that connection to what happened at the arcade and realize that it wasn't seeing Kousuke that made him act like that. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

I really love how Yujing works, how she gets to people. She seems to possess an awareness that all people need to be approached differently, and how to make a lasting impression, a little dramatic flair - because let's be real, something dramatic is going to linger a little more, and for what she's leaving Nol with, a little lasting impression is really important. There's just something about how she presents this information - that despite his minor injury, Kousuke was roofied, and Yui was the one with him that morning; that he has some reason for wanting to talk to Nol even if he can't admit it yet; that a mother would want what's best for her son, so how was he roofied and denied treatment when he clearly wasn't even feeling well?

What matters is that Nol comes to the same conclusion we already have - and that he figures it out himself rather than be fed that information. Yujing doesn't know much about Nol, let alone his psyche, but we do, and we know that he believes the misfortune that befalls him is a punishment, is the result of his existence, that it's all because he only puts bad into the universe. But he needs to see that this is so much bigger than he thinks, that he has never been Yui's only victim or target.

If Yui will go to these extents that she would roofie her own son, what else is she capable of? And more importantly, he needs to see and really understand that it is more than just him. In his mind, Yui and Kousuke were a team ganging up on him to tear him apart for being the mistress' son, for existing when he shouldn't have, for posing as a potential threat to everything they want and cherish. To see that even Kousuke wasn't spare from Yui's crimes shows that this is something more than he expected, bigger than he has believed all along.

I talk a lot about how I need Nol to figure this out because he needs to understand that Kousuke, too, was a victim. That Kousuke was never truly part of that "team", that he was weaponized against Nol. I don't think that Nol is going to figure this out at that time, but it's a good first step. Understandably, Nol wants nothing to do with him, so the timing couldn't be worse. How is he going to accept and receive anything Kousuke has to say after everything he's done - and how he treated Nol at his absolute lowest point in his life? But it's still so very important that Nol learn how all of this came to be, why he could never reach Kousuke.

But also more than just for himself, this also connects back to Shinae. At this point in the story, Nol knows only of Shinae's involvement at the Kim formal, Yui was meddling and put her in danger. From what we can tell, he probably believes it's a result of caring about her. Because that's what happens - he starts to care about people and bad things happen to them.

I don't think he really knows the stipulations of Shinae's contract and he certainly doesn't know about the offer Yui made her. He doesn't know about what happened on Kousuke's birthday, something so wholly separate from him and his own interest. He doesn't know about the way Yui took immediate interest in Shinae and starting testing her and messing with her out of interest in the effect she has on Kousuke.

And likewise, he has no idea of the real lengths of Yui's threat. He doesn't realize Alyssa is in a prison and, in fact, believes she's living the dream she wanted. Objectively we know that Yui was taking an innocent girl and toying with her, making a game out of her, but *Nol himself doesn't know that*! He likely believes that his mother took her own life, and possibly as a result of something he might have said to her, where objectively we know that it was probably something more sinister than her making that choice. And honestly? There's SO much more! Kousuke's memory adds another potential person to her body count. The former CFO in Japan may not have died but he still lost his position and we have to be naive to believe his stroke was a mere coincidence.

We know this. Yujing knows this.

Kousuke is coming to know this.

It's time for Nol to realize this, too.

This alone may not be enough. I still want, badly, for Nol and Shinae to have a talk, where she can tell him about these things he doesn't know, to try to get through to him that the danger was never him but simply Yui's interest. Even had Nol never become her friend, she'd still be trying to play Shinae and use her on Kousuke and what happened at his apartment alone should show Nol that it wasn't about only him! Shinae has a habit of keeping things to herself but it's time to pull all of this into the open, in order to confront those feelings, in order to reach him the way she wants.

Yui will never give up on her.

And we've seen what happens to the people who keep Yui's interest.

I do hope, too, that Nol takes Yujing up on her offer and talks about his version of what happened that night. I don't know if her implication that Kousuke is coming to realize that Yui has meddled so much, has manipulated him and everything he believes, but I hope that reaches him in time, too. That everything Kousuke believes about Nol was heavily rooted in a falsified memory. But also it's important that he knows even without him telling her his side she will believe him. She is telling him that she knows! That she knows more than him!

GOD. IT'S SO BIG IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT BIG DEAL and I really need Nol to ruminate on this and let it all sink in because it is SO BIG AND IMPORTANT. This was NEVER about him - not the way he thinks, anyway. He thinks he's protecting Shinae if he can distance himself, if he can keep his feelings at bay, but all it will do is put them both at further risk, hurt both of them, and break their hearts. Part of Nol's desperate fear is that he doesn't know what the danger is, and thus how to prevent it.

But if he finally realizes that Yui is the danger?

He needs that realization.

And on the flipside, GOD, watching Kousuke go through that revelation... I know I've talked a lot about how I think Kousuke needs to crash and burn for the reformation he needs but now that we're here I DON'T WANT TO WITNESS IT, I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS WITH HIM ;________; I know there are people who still loathe him no matter what but that's not me lol I have gone from hating this man to understanding the circumstances, to understanding how he got here and god watching him go through this is HELL.

Because something we can immediately glean is that Kousuke feels SO MUCH REGRET for these things now that he sees them in new light. That's what continues to set him apart from Yui - Kousuke doesn't attack people without reason, even if from someone else's point of view there doesn't seem to be reason, and this episode highlights that and how that mindset became something he adopted in the first place.

He comes from a family that, as far as we can tell, is probably prone to backstabbing and deceit. Perhaps Yui has internalized it more than anyone else and is the only one to hold this mentality, but she isn't entirely wrong when she tells Kousuke to be wary of people because many will only try to get close to him for his money, for his influence, to ride on his coattails or worse, to exploit and take advantage of him. We acknowledge that Kousuke is not well-developed in the sense that his sense of empathy is lacking, he doesn't have that real ability to understand people who are so unlike him, and he doesn't know how to have/handle healthy relationships between people - and like, it's not without reason. His strict schedule growing up played into this a lot, but a lot of it was further reinforced by the kinds of lessons Yui instilled in Kousuke. People will try to take what is ours.

And enter this child who speaks of a version of Rand that can't possibly exist, this child whom whispers and secrets have spoken of: Rand's other family. The other woman, the other son. From his young, inexperienced child mind and whatever it is Yui has told him - they're leeches, they are trying to take our places, they want to take your father they want to take our family they want to take what's ours - it's easy to see why Kousuke refused to let them in. In his mind, it was true - Nessa was the other woman who was destroying their family and trying to take what was theirs, and her son - their son! - was competition, could very rightly take his place.

And this isn't a lie! Nol could be considered an heir simply by virtue of being Rand's son.

So, honestly? It's easy to see, from Kousuke's point of view, why he was so starkly opposed to this other family from the get go, why he feared them and felt threatened by them. That sense of threat was instilled in him from such a young age that he never had a chance to see Nol as anything but, to consider the more mature and rational mentalities of "Rand is a grown man who made grown choices" and acknowledge his hand in everything.

But to young Kousuke, they were dangerous threats that were posed to ruin everything.

He was basically made to feel he could trust no one, not one single person.

So when young Nol comes to Kousuke at his lowest, the worst period of his life, Kousuke turns him away. And yes, he is incredibly cruel about that, I don't deny it. But from his perspective, I get it. He believed this kid was a threat, that his mother was a threat, that he was a dangerous child, even!

And now he sees how wrong it was, how he trusted someone who lead him astray, and because he trusted the wrong person, he has hurt people, ruined lives. Because it wasn't just Nol's life that he ruined, as we see. He has stood by when he could have offered help and denied it, out of suspicion and fear that the accusations were falsehoods, because he was told to always be wary of this, that he can't trust anyone, that everyone will try to take advantage of him and benefit off of his back.

Because he fails to believe these people who reached out to him at their lowest, he knows he is directly responsible for what befalls them. He is directly responsible for what Nol endures, for how cruel he is to him when he needs someone, when he's so afraid and so alone, so desperate! And he fails someone else in an equally dreadful way.

Who is the girl we see when Kousuke's memory switches, the girl bowing at the funeral?

We don't have a lot to go off of, but given Yujing and Kousuke's history, the piece she's working on that she's told Manli she thinks she'll like, and what little we know of Yujing's friend who was in a similar situation as Shinae, the current assumption that we've talked about on discord/reddit that I currently subscribe to is: the girl at the funeral is probably Manli, and maybe the person who she lost was a younger sister? Manli seems to be Yujing's age, who is closer to Hansuke's age than Kousuke is. We know Kousuke had a girlfriend in college, but because he graduated early and was younger than everyone, even started college as a minor, it's not likely he was dating one of his adult friends so.... is it possible that Manli had a sister near Kou's age who was introduced to him at one point? I don't think that part necessarily matters here, because what really matters is that we know: Manli, or someone, lost someone precious, and possibly because Kousuke did not step in to help.

At one point in time, Yujing must have thought highly of Kousuke - or at least of his influence and what he could do with it. In fact, this flashback really illuminates why Yujing can't stand him, why their relationship soured and why she treats him like she does. Like Nol, she resents that Kousuke never defies his family, that he puts his lofty goals ahead of everyone else.

Someone - probably Manli - went to Kousuke desperate for help, with accusations it seems that Kousuke refused to believe. And if they were accusations against his family - his mother - we can understand why he was hesitant to believe them: because everyone will try to take advantage of you, will try to deceive you, will say things to try to bring them down. In his mind, everyone is primed as a threat, and the accusations brought forth probably did sound incredibly ludicrous, because whoever it was who went to him was begging to be understood. Maybe they even knew that what they were accusing sounded that way, thus the desperation, the pleading.

"Only someone with a sick mind would even do that! It's impossible! And a dangerous accusation!"

More and more, that makes me think it has to be something that Yui or the Kims were involved in - who else has a sick enough mind to do something that, it sounds like, pushed someone to take their own life. The line about no one seeing it coming feels so much like that the victim kept quiet about what happened, that few others knew, and thus few others knew that Kousuke refused the help that maybe, just maybe, could have given her the vindication to not do something so agonizing.

The argument that Yujing and Kousuke had is scathing, but it demonstrates a lot about who they are and how Yujing perceives him - things we already know, but is nice to see further clarified. Kousuke is afraid to believe something that could be a misinterpretation, something that doesn't make sense, probably because the version of the accused doesn't line up with his reality, what he knows of people. I can't help but feel that Yui must've been involved, since Yujing makes that comment about "family comes first" and this episode rides on the back of Kousuke learning just what a sick mind Yui really has, just what kinds of extent she has gone to in order to control and manipulate him.

And because it's always felt like what happened at the formal, with the drugs, was some kind of trigger of a previous event for Kousuke, it makes me wonder if this was that incident. Someone (Manli?) comes to Kousuke for help. Maybe it was Yui, maybe it was the Kims, someone was involved. Maybe something happened to her sister? Some kind of sexual assault, something heinous and awful. She was roofied, she was taken advantage of, and they needed help. But Kousuke refused to act on it, because the accusations felt so preposterous he couldn't believe it - because he knows this is what people will do, they will try to tear down his family, will try to take advantage of him, they will lie to besmirch their names. And when no one believed her, when she was left to deal with the trauma of what happened, knowing that no one would believe her, that she had to live with the horror in her nightmares, she took her life. Yujing probably directly holds Kousuke responsible for never stepping in, for never using his influence to help, to investigate, for never believing them.

And it makes a lot of sense with what happened at the formal. This time, Kousuke (after a false start) believes them. This time he steps in and acts. This time he tries to save Shinae. (She really is his do-over for EVERYTHING isn't she?) In this manner, it also makes sense why Kousuke is so terrified for Yujing to meet Shinae and to convey this to her - because Shinae has been in that position before and who would understand this girl more than her, someone who is already uncomfortable around Kousuke, someone whose trust Kousuke is trying to earn. He doesn't want her to know about a time he failed so badly to help someone that it ended with that person's death. What would she think of him? How would she view him? And this is especially important because Shinae is the do-over. Because Kousuke needs to do better with her, to make up for his guilt about the times he has failed others in the past.

What sets Kousuke apart from Yui, though, is that Kousuke doesn't want to mindlessly hurt people. Those he has hurt he believed were in the wrong, were trying to leech off of him, were trying to take what is his, were trying to ruin their family reputation and pass allegations that could ruin them. But now he can look back and see the truth, realizes that he put his trust in the wrong person who lead him astray, who filled his head with falsehoods that he so desperately believed that he ended up destroying peoples' lives and he IS full of regret and self-loathing. He stands in the bathroom retching, reliving these failings, this haunting realization tearing him apart. There's something desperately depressing to me about the panel of him looking down at his face in the toilet and flushing it away, because we know how he feels, we know what he is reeling from.

Ultimately, Kousuke never intended to hurt innocent people. He never intended to be a bad person. Every time he hurt people, he thought he was defending himself, his family name. But he's learning how wrong that was, how he has all along put his trust in someone who never had his best interests at heart - who even DRUGGED HIM. He seems aware of the manipulation, that how he regarded Nol was all based on what she made him believe of him.

But he did. In the end, he hurt people who needed him. How different things could have been if he'd reached out to this desperate, scared boy who was left all alone in a foreign country with no one to turn to. How different things could have been if he had believed Yujing and her friend, if he had been able to step in and help.

A note I'd like to make here is that whatever happened to Yujing's friend, I'm certain it coincides with Nol's release from the mental institution. Yujing notes that Kousuke has changed, that he's not like the version of him they met years ago, and I wonder how much of this played into his refusal to believe them. They seemed familiar with a different Kousuke, one who maybe once might have helped, had Yui not reminded him what a threat everyone is, had Yui not reminded him of what he is meant to be working towards. Who was he, to put others first, when the Hiraharas were always to come first? Who was he, frolicking about and forgetting himself when Nol could swoop in at any moment and steal everything he'd worked so hard towards? Of course, because of how much that sense of threat was ingrained in Kousuke, maybe it wouldn't have played out any differently.

It just kills me that he can see it exactly that way - that these were people who desperately needed him and because he denied them, he made things so much worse for them. The guilt... no wonder he's locked in a bathroom stall retching like that. When Hansuke enters the stall and finds Kousuke just seated on the floor - a bathroom floor! Our man is hitting rock bottom. Who EVER imagined seeing Kousuke hugging a toilet, sitting on a public bathroom floor? He looks so pitiful, so small and pathetic and you know what my heart does break, because it's clear to me that Kousuke is still separate of Yui, that his regret and remorse sets him apart. Yes, it's very much too little, too late, but we also know how effective Yui's tactics have been thus far that this is the first time he's ever gotten suspicious, the first time he ever had an inkling something was wrong and could get tested.

How was he to know otherwise?

How was he to know that the only person he's ever been able to rely on was, in fact, the cause of everything?

GOD. IT KILLS ME IT JUST.... ALKKAFJKAKJFAJKAJFK ;___________;

Lives have literally been RUINED because he trusted the wrong person. How do you live with that? I'm so.... SO worried for his future.

Ngl i was so surprised that Kousuke still wanted to come back again, that he wants to try this again tomorrow, despite the fact that seeing Nol sent him into a panic attack, brought up all of the realizations of guilt and remorse that now ride on his shoulders. But.... idk I'm proud of him, too. It's clear he was worried about Nol, it's clear he wanted to see him and check on him and used the phone as that, but it's also clear that he is aware now of the terrible person he has been to Nol and that he was never in the right, that Nol was never the threat or danger he perceived him as - that just like he acknowledged in 212, it was always him, the cold man with his back turned.

I know it's not like their relationship can repair at this stage - that's much further along - but I hope Kousuke's persistence can at least benefit Nol, in some way. Even if it's just that the realization that even Kousuke is her victim, that no one has ever been safe from Yui, that it was always her, not him. He needs that much.

God this episode hurt it hurt SO MUCH like I can't even dig into the pain of those flashbacks because it's just so overwhelmingly painful. Nol went to him at his lowest moment, so desperate and afraid, and couldn't reach Kousuke or get through to him. Even at his most desperate, he was still seen as such a threat, that fear was so deeply ingrained in Kousuke. And for someone (Manli?) to lose someone precious to her because Kousuke didn't act, because he had the opportunity to step in and help and he didn't believe them.... it's no wonder Yujing has so much resentment towards him, why she can't stand this version of him.

just sobs

also i have been trying to write this all week long and did NOT proof this so I'm sorry if it sounds worse than usual i'm running on negative energy but I REALLY wanted to do a thought dump on this episode because GOD I HAVE BIG BIG EMOTIONS ABOUT IT

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #but not for looooong! #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Kousuke Hirahara #Yujing #Hansuke Hirahara #Manli #????? #this episode was so painful #we needed it but my GOD it hurt so much i can't doooooooo this ;A; #PAIN #AGONY #DEVASTATION #realizations that will be HAUNTING #i'm gonna swaddle up everyone in little blankies except for yui and the kims #;A;

[mouldymp3rotations]

1223-004

December being my birthday month, I decided to treat myself and upload 10 of my favourite songs of all time :D That means that this will be the first rotation that contains something else than only japanese music AND that the genre will be all over the place lol

As usual, the link for each individual song is in their title and the link to download everything all at once is at the bottom of the post

So in this birthday pack, you'll find :

Dalida - Mourir sur scène

Mourir sur scène (literally "to die on stage" although an english version of the song exists as Born to Sing, though i kind of don't like her english singing voice as I feel it lacks depth...) is my favourite Dalida song, in which she addresses death directly. By the time she recorded this, she had already attempted suicide and I do believe that her love for singing and being on stage made her life bearable enough, at least for a while (she did end up killing herself, in the end). She was a very tragic grande dame and that weighs a lot in my love for her, I have to admit. Mourir sur Scène was a single on an eponymous album released in 1983

Dir en grey - Lotus

This song was an love at first hearing and it's still as good as it was the first time I listened to it. It's just one of these songs that grabs my heart, will not let go, and will crush it and leave a gaping hole in my chest by the time the song is over kfjshksdjfhksjdfh Lotus was a single from Dum Spiro Spero released in 2011

Evanescence - Imaginary

I first was introduced to Imaginary through the version that is on Fallen. The thing is, Evanescence is the first band ever on which I hyperfixated. One album wasn't enough. I went on to find the Fallen demos and the Origin demo album. The version you're getting here is the version from Origin. I have not gone back to listen to the Fallen version since lol (the Synthesis version isn't bad either !) So this version of Imaginary was on Origin, released in 2000

Gothika - Fata Morgana Android

I'm still wondering if this is my rip from the album or my rip from their MySpace LOL. So yeah, I first heard this as an untitled track on MySpace, back when they had just changed their name from Euthanasie to Gothika. I also don't think they made a better song than this... ^^; Fata Morgana Android was on the album 120 Days of Sodom, released in 2007

Hora - Ains5

I JUST FUCKING LOVE THAT SONG OK. And it's the only one without lyrics, here... Ains5 was on Venom, self-released in 2007 (which also transonica and inner elements which are pretty good too !!!)

Klaus Nomi - Cold Song

Happy birthday to me, here's the most depressing song ever ^_^ Klaus Nomi was pretty much my introduction to countertenor voices (which probably came as a recommendation from someone after I had gotten into Vitas around 2007 tbh), and I just fell in love. Cold Song was on an eponymous album released in 1981 (if you'd like something less depressing, try Lighting Strikes or You Don't Own Me from the same album :) )

Lili Fatale - Feels

I have to admit that I don't like a lot of québécois music, despite me being from Québec, but Lili Fatale definitely is an exception. Particularly for Feels. I find the song relatable and I like how her voice carries it and wraps around me, aaah... Feels can be found on the album CK80296 (yes discogs is wrong on this one cause indeed the album title is the catalog number, but I guess it's also considered an eponymous album...), released in 1997

Queen - The Show Must Go On

So I was introduced to that song through Moulin Rouge! lol. And then one day, I got a weird hair up my ass and went to download a Queen Best Of album and... Yeah, the rest is history, it will always, always be such a gut wrenching song ! And the show did go on, after all... The Show Must Go On was released on Innuendo, in 1991

Schwarz Stein - 黒い羊 (Kuroi Hitsuji)

Another one of my love at first hearing, this is the last one to date. I knew I was going to put a Schwarz Stein song in here, and it could have been so hard because all their songs are so fucking good, but I figured that anything from the midi:nette era is old enough for everyone to have heard it already, so I decided to go for a more recent song. I almost hesitated between this and Cocoon tbh lol Kuroi Hitsuji is the B-side on the Ever After single released in 2019

(couldn't find it on youtube lol)

The Birthday Massacre - Blue

Blue was my introduction to The Birthday Massacre ! I then looked into them and realized their whole thing was violet and a weird girl, at a time when violet was my favourite colour and I was a weird girl, so it just... happened naturally tbh. Blue was on the Violet album (still fucking iconic !!!), released in 2004

All 10 songs are downloadable here

#dalida #dir en grey #evanescence #gothika #hora #klaus nomi #lili fatale #queen #queen band #schwarz stein #the birthday massacre #mp3 #disco #visual kei #vkei #vk #jrock #j-rock #gothic #goth #gothic rock #industrial #new wave #darkwave #rock music #electronic music #metal #musique #québécois #hmmm i think that should do it ?

[themysticsword]

Quitting RoR2 Modding

(posting this in case anyone who plays my RoR2 mods isn't in any of the discord servers lol)

So, basically, yeah, I'm done with Risk of Rain 2 for good. Don't wanna associate myself with the game. Just really want it gone from my life. I don't want to think about it.

All of the mods I made out of my personal interest are now marked as deprecated, and potentially will even be deleted later. The only things that will stay are projects that were either made for friends, had contributions from more than just me, or are funny enough that I feel like they should stay.

Why? For a lot of reasons.

The Community Manager

So, SeventeenUncles (or Suncles, as we all call him). The guy may seem like a chill person on the twitch streams, but god. He's Bad at server moderation. Everybody in the server knows it. And if somebody has any kind of complaint about that moderation, he silences all the critique and tells to open a ticket via Modmail, which will not result in anything because why would he care lmao he's the community manager and he makes all the rules.

Like this one. I wrote a proper, consise ticket about my mute (which was unfair, by the way!), expecting to either get unmuted or at least get a response or have a conversation as to why they think it was fair. Guess what I got.

you're welcome suncles.

There's a lot of problems with how he's running the server, which I'm not gonna talk about, because, luckily, someone else has already done it, in detail! https://www.tumblr.com/gabrielultrakill-bigboobs/723312859455651840/the-official-risk-of-rain-discord-and-its-hellish?source=share

A lot of nasty stuff. In the official server, mind you.

But yeah. He represents the company Hopoo Games, and who am I to support a company with a prick as their representative :)

The Community Itself

Now, I know this is a dumb reason to quit over, but it's not the reason. It's just one of them.

It's toxic. Elitist. And, most importantly, way too controllable. We have, like, 4-5 mainstream content creators, and almost all of them manage to give the worst tips to newbies despite sinking hours into the game and, supposedly, having a lot of experience and knowledge.

It's so bad to the point where some youtubers call out the wiki for giving "false information", so their fans go on the wiki and make edits while parroting whatever Mr. Youtuber said.

Picture this: you're a new player, and you have unlocked a hard character. You struggle with them, so you go to the wiki, and the first thing you're told is that you actually need to unlock a different ability for them to make them playable. And only 7-8 paragraphs below, the wiki tells you how to use the base abilities properly. You know. The ones that you have right now, as a new player. While also making them sound weaker than they are in reality. Doesn't this sound like imposing someone specific's preferred playstyle onto everybody else?

Constant arguments. You open the discord server, or the subreddit, or a youtube video, just about anything, and you'll see people disrespecting each other over a video game. These arguments usually stem from someone being incorrect, them getting corrected by others, and that person fighting until the end of times just to prove that they're actually right, because, for some reason, they can't accept being wrong.

And I kept seeing these arguments. Engaging in them. When you want to interact with the community of a game on this scale of popularity, you just can't not encounter the bad parts. Statistically impossible.

Oh, and you know why the community partially is like that? Because the devs and the moderators are fine with that behaviour. The devs are known to be all mean and like "massive trolls" or whatever. Meanwhile, you don't see this shit happening in the A Hat in Time or Celeste servers.

Other Projects

Lastly, I've been meaning to quit RoR2 for a long time now. I want to move on and do something else. I've been making RoR2 mods for 4 years now, I think? It's a shame I have to leave like this, but eh, whatever.

If you're reading this, I hope you're doing well! I'm doing well, because I got rid of the part of my life that's been bothering me for way too long :3 See ya in other games that I'll mod!

#modding #text post

[madbox91]

Today, I caused chaos on Twitter and Mobox and friends didn't like it lol Part 3

I went all out with my new account.

This is where the "chaos" began. I went all out. I didn't think or care on wtf I was saying or did (as you can see in some of the tweets, there's a lot of misspellings because I was just speed running them). It was just slander. Some of the things I said were very ridiculous, most were just saying shit to mobox instead of Nikolai, and only like 2 or 3 tweets were logical and not just ridiculous shit. I was making fucking so much slander that it felt I was running through a field of flowers lol. Of course I'm joking around about that but god damn it, it felt so just entertaining to just constantly tweeting non stop. It was so ridiculous. First Nikolai blocked me instantly and later mobox followed. I have done it. I got what I wanted once again. I was so over joy and also just shocked to see a huge amount of tweets I have made. Seeing them be the first thing you see when you search up "mobox87" on Twitter is so funny to me. Also it's another common L on mobox because thanks to her new attention to me, she is making herself look more bad on Twitter than she already is. Like my tweets has never gotten into huge numbers of views before this happened. The only reason why I made that gimmick account is to fool and get more stupid people into not liking mobox87. I mean it's mobox's fault for me to get a chance at spreading pretty ridiculous misinformation about her to a somewhat shit ton of people to witness it. Remember I didn't got some much attention and attraction from people before this happened and so mobox was just helping me out with this goal in mind. I mean hundreds of people viewing my tweets doesn't seem like a lot but to me it's a big deal for me since I only get like 7 or 10 views out of my tweets so yeah, thanks mobox. I truly think people would believe the shit from my mobox gimmick because nowadays people are fucking stupid. I'm fully convinced that's the case and especially the case for the small and not that popular mobox and mobox related community. Making people have a reaction out of my bullshit has been one of my goals. Especially delusional people with insecurities who try to defend themselves from the shit I say. At the end of the day, bad publicity is good publicity for me if my goals can be reached from it. I want to be mobox's very own inconvenience as possible and also getting a reaction out of it. that is what has happened here

Man such a mobox-like response. Seeing this makes me smile. Like I did that. I'm now part of mobox's ops. She treating me like I'm some kind of villain in her poorly written comics about sexual abuse. Exaggerating everything to make things look more bad than they seem. Huh making people look more bad now huh? I wonder who else is doing the same thin- IT'S ME! Maybe I was right, I am the real mobox87 after all. Btw not the first time mobox has done something like this but I guess she doesn't like it when someone else is doing the same thing to her, especially if that someone is actually kinda speaking facts with their gimmick account that tends to joke and poke fun about her and her wrong doings and now getting attraction. "Oh It's very hard for me to start conversations blah blah blah I don't talk like this 🙁", OF COURSE YOU DON'T FUCKING TALK LIKE THIS 💀

This is why I'm fully convinced that people are fucking stupid here. Like honestly I don't fucking get how people would get fooled by this. Like it's so fucking obvious. Like why bothered making an awareness posts about me? Maybe it isn't about the people, maybe she really wants me to be taken down because I have bothered her or maybe hurt her feelings in some way? Have I caused harm to anyone like Nikolai or something? I have become such a bad inconvenience and problem to her that it's enough for her to make post about me and criminalize me to stop me? Am I really such a bad problem to her now? If that's the case then I have won. Of course she would've done this just for the sake of spreading awareness but still it doesn't make sense to me because I really wasn't getting many attraction to my posts that is worthy enough to get a awareness posts about me. Like literally no one saw them. Is it because to protect her image on the internet or something? Idk pretty uncertain but still see it as a win either way. I guess people really are stupid enough to believe that mobox said, "let me rub my smile and unmatched coolness on your face like a fucking load of cum". If so then who??? You?

#mobox87 #goldbox

[terminalisms]

aw shit here we go again.png because tumblr cant give ur girl a break and shadowbanned her anyways hiiiiii i bring erina whose stats page is VERY very bare bones so you are likely far better off just reading my word vomit here for plotting purposes 😁 please like this post if you are interested in plotting 🫶 my discord is tip.toph !

only daughter to a rich guy anomaly. the watanabes own a multinational chemical company based in japan known for their polymer development and production

contrary to public opinion, her dad thinks being different is just another way to know god is on his side and that he’s one of “His Chosen Ones”

(if it isnt obvious already, the guy is fairly religious and this is the one (1) time where his traditional mindset ironically seems progressive in how accepting? it is when it comes to those w abilities)

otherwise, typical run of the mill man who uses piousness to his convenience and thinks 1950s-esque casual sexism can still fly in this day and age

instead of being discouraged by this, a creature of spite like urs truly is only driven to work harder better faster stronger wherever she can exert herself to prove her worth. it helps that there’s no one else lined up to take over the family business

also very helpful to discover at 13 you’re an anomaly too when you accidentally disintegrate your 2nd stepmom’s hand in a fit of teen rage

gets used to having to “integrate” into normal society once she’s sent overseas for an esteemed k-12 education in the uk. for a long while, the nullivi patch is a non issue, and any few inconsequential accidents were just that. inconsequential

by the time she’s applying for universities her dad’s on wife #4 and wants his only kid to be closer in spite of his flaws. off to sua she goes on the compromise that it’s close enough to him but it's also not right under his nose tfg

when undergrad is over and done with, dad brings up discussions of marriage like this is the 1800s or something, to which eri’s like “lemme finish my master’s first then i’ll think about it (:”

fast forward to the completion of her master’s: before dad can even think to bring up marriage prospects again eri says “wow a doctorate…imagine how cool and conveniently time consuming that would be…….”

so that’s how she’s still here, 7 years and counting!

contrary to her kind sunshine princess face eri’s ur textbook prissy too-serious-for-her-own-good ambitious go getter. its not that she’s mean persay but ms girl constantly gives off the vibes that she has bigger fish to fry with no time for trivial bullshit

the type where if it takes 10 minutes too long to make her latte she will head over to the other side of the counter and start making it herself

on the flip side, once she’s committed to anyone and anything she’s alll the way in. u can count on her for ride or die like loyalty if nothing else…..

stays well out of campus politics because she thinks she’s above it lol……the patch is kind of annoying though when she’s trying to conduct research (on developing durable polymer materials) so that’s one of the rare times it comes off

plot ideas (so bad at coming up w these on the fly omg so sorry 😭)

youre the barista who took too long to make her iced latte and was either humiliated on the spot when she made her way over to YOUR side of the shop to make it herself or u are grateful that’s one less order to deal with

she was a TA for one of ur classes and what u thought would be one of the easiest courses ever turned out to be an absolute nightmare

someone who decided it was worth pursuing her, lemme ask you this: Why would u put urself thru that

band of brothers aka other grad students who just get it

friends……. 🥹

if none of these work i’m chill with brainstorming too just hmu

#nm:intro #ooc.toph #if u sent me a tumblr dm on my prev account and didnt get a response im so sorry....... #now that i can actually see my msgs i will slowly but surely make my rounds!!!