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davidfarland · 10 months

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David Farland’s Writing Tips—Why Scenes Go Bad

Have you ever found yourself reading a story and discovered that, “Hey, life is too short for this.” So you close the book and toss it aside.

It that happens to you, there may be dozens of reasons why the scene isn’t working for you. As a writer, you certainly don’t want readers to quit reading your books. Here are a few things to think about.

First, not all stories are written for you, and you can’t write a story that every single person on earth will connect to. A romance that works beautifully for a sixteen-year-old girl just doesn’t interest me as a sixty-year-old man. A mystery that intrigues me might seem tepid to you.

But let’s say that an author is struggling to interest me as a reader. Here are the next most-common problems that I find:

The scene is poorly imagined. Sometimes I will be reading a nice thriller or mystery or fantasy, and the author is trying to hit the right emotional beats, but just not doing it exceptionally well. I’d rate them a five out of ten. When that happens, I’ll find that they are dealing with stock characters and stock situations, or writing blah dialog that doesn’t sound like real people. In short, they aren’t exercising their imagination. Sometimes even just the language the author is using is cliché.

Remember this key: All failures in writing are due to a failure of the imagination. Each day in your world needs to be different from the day before. Each scene and character needs to be unique, different from anything else you’ve encountered. If a scene feels tepid, it’s because the writer is being lazy.

Another common problem is that the author is growing “wordy.” The author stacks adjectives in an attempt to heighten description. You can spot this if the author has fallen into a pattern where every noun (or sometimes every verb) has a modifier. She might say, “The cozy nook in Le Café Blue featured antique chairs that looked to be covered in genuine leather, and the dark walnut table was battered from years of use. Jonathan scrupulously studied the newspaper-style menus and ordered a dark lager with his deep-fried halibut and English-style chips.” Now, these details might make the story richer, but if the whole point of the conversation is to get to a new clue that Jonathan hears, then the wordiness can sometimes just be clutter. Remember, you want to bring the story to life, not bore the reader to death.

The writer got “diverted” and from the goal of the scene and the prose begins to meander. Maybe an interrogation scene suddenly devolves into a philosophical essay on the nature of reality, or gets hijacked by the author’s interest in coffee beans. Or maybe a romance scene turns into a fight, or a wonder scene transforms into horror. Particularly, this becomes a problem for “pantsers,” writers who write for pleasure and don’t have a clue where the hell they’re taking the story. It is easy to become over-enamored with your ability to morph prose from one purpose to another, rather than stick to a goal.

Here’s a clue. If you’re writing a mystery scene, the scene should be exploring the mystery, not gratifying your vanity by showing how much you know about ancient history or current affairs. It probably won’t help if your mystery scene flirts with romance or if you begin languishing in despair about the vicissitudes of life.

While diversions occasionally add something fun and give a story an extra dimension, they usually lose more readers than they will gain. So be careful with them.

For more on David Farland's Writing tips, visit https://mystorydoctor.com/writing-blog/

And you can also click here to get your David Farland Daily Meditations.

#writing help #writing tips #writing advice

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jumpstreamer · 4 months

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MASK MONDAYS: EPISODE 1

I have a habit of getting caught up in consuming content on social media rather than producing it, so as challenge to myself, every Monday I will be making a post examining a different headgear-adorned fictional character. Hopefully, this exercise will help spread awareness of the nuance that masks, helmets, and similar accessories provide to a story's characterization and themes, but are also that they are extremely hot.

I want to be lazy starting out, so the character we're examining this week is the Violence Fiend, a deuteragonist from part 1 of Chainsaw Man (spoilers, obviously). Don't expect any allusions to philosophical treatises or peer-reviewed articles for this one. He's pretty simple.

We're introduced to Violence in Chainsaw Man chapter 34, and on even the very first panel we hear his name, he's already adding nuance to how masks rhetorically function. It's easy to assume that the mask, symbolically, represents a mystery: This character's face is obscured, therefore something about it is worth seeing. Not so in the case of Violence. His introduction definitively states not only why he wears the mask, but also that his identity is defined by the item, not what's underneath.

Violence's maskless design is cool, but he's not a character we know about or who is vital to the plot. Instead, his big "face reveal" happens upon his introduction: You assume he's just another human, but then he turns around, and is retroactively defined by the MASK. The morbid imagery evoked by the stylized plague doctor mask is obvious, but there is a second layer beneath the surface. Namely, instead protecting him from disease (plague doctor masks didn't exactly work, but that's besides the point), Violence's mask inflicts it upon him, preventing him from functioning at full capacity. One might expect the guy to be pretty cheesed about that, especially considering how all the other fiends have acted so far. But in another subversion, he's totally chill! Having one of the kindest characters in the manga be the living personification of interpersonal harm is nothing short of charming, and ties in with CSM's greater message about the importance of social relationships and understanding.

Speaking of, while Violence is cool on his own, his primary role is to further Kobeni's personal arc, and honestly, good for her. It's easy to write CSM off as a nihilistic manga about how all everything ends in suffering and that all resistance will only foster pain. Even more nuanced interpretations often fall into the trap of labeling it absurdist or Camus-inspired, but that's hardly true! One of Chainsaw Man's most powerful messages is that despite the reality of suffering, happiness CAN exist, and pursuing it is the source of true meaning. Even Kobeni, after spending the first half of the manga in constant suffering, hits it off with Violence during the Reze arc and is implied to have entered a relationship with him by the time of International Assassins. As a side note, check out Kobeni's reactions to getting ice cream during both of her famous "dates:"

If Kobeni, Fujimoto argues, can survive in an unjust world by forming equal relationships with others, then the reader can do it, too. Violence, in turn, has made a conscious choice to overcome his status as a harbinger of pain and death, instead choosing to pursue a greater meaning that he ultimately dies for. His mask may define the identity thrust upon him, but it has no bearing on his soul.

Lastly, from an aesthetic standpoint, boys in hoodies are great. There's a lot of talk on this website about how great casually-dressed women are (and I wholeheartedly approve), but anyone can pull off the look, and the "mask inside a hoodie inside a suit" aesthetic is one of the most unique fits CSM has. I could see myself walking around like this save for the fact I'd get kicked out of every convenience store on sight.

Anyway, that's it for this week. There's a lot more on Violence to be said (his fight with Reze's a highlight), but this post is getting pretty long already. Tune in next week for Samus or Undyne or Gabriel Ultrakill or whatever else crosses my mind. Hope you have a good one!

#Chainsaw Man #chainsaw man spoilers #manga #mask mondays #violence fiend #long post

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kiefbowl · 9 months

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how do you deal with being a lot smarter/ having your brain work in a different way than most people? I see you get bored at work quickly. How does it translate in interpersonal relationships? Do you make friends easily (real friends, not acquaintances you are friendly with)? was it hard finding a partner that could keep up? Do you find most people boring rather fast? Do you spend more time by yourself, in hobbies that don't require too much contact with other people? just curious as it seems we work the same way for a lot a things.

Hmmm...I don't think I'm "smarter" than most people, I think I have a high efficiency in logic, and I had a lot of good opportunities to be exposed to many different topics in my education, including philosophical topics like epistemology (how do you know something) that are helpful tools. I don't think the things I've learned require any innate intelligence to understand, in fact I think most people could understand given the opportunity. I think in retrospect my logical prowess (brag) had a downside of me being rather rigid and also sometimes assuming something I believed came from logic rather than belief, especially religion when I was a teen. In any case, that's something I'm better at now. I'm also more comfortable than ever going "I don't know." Also, once you get to that point of being comfortable saying "I don't know", you learn quickly how much you're saying it. Fucking don't know anything really lol.

I get bored easily because most people do. Frankly, you just have to lower your expectations at work. You're not going to get to do the things your best suited for all the time. I'm making a switch into a high paced, high pressure career because honestly I've learned about me that I thrive in that condition. I hate having nothing to do at work, it feels like a waste of my time. When I have a job that asks me to have 6 things in my head at once, I do great. When I have a job that asks me to get one thing done, then get another thing done, I get neither done because I'm on tumblr all day procrastinating. Sometimes to figure out who you really are you just have to do a bit of everything for ten years, it's fine.

I make friends fine, there's some struggle because I love really intimate conversation the most, and I find that hard to ask for lately. Also, you get older, parties are fewer and far between. People just have things to do, so you have to find your own thing to do, too. It's better investing in classes and skills than going out to drink every weekend, believe me (or don't).

My bf and I are different in a lot of ways. Our relationship does not always look like the relationship I had in my head when I thought of my "dream relationship" and that's okay. I don't know if he "keeps up" with me, he doesn't have the same skill at debate as me tbh and sometimes he doesn't even try cause he knows I'll win, which isn't very satisfying for a debater (me lol). But life's not just about winning arguments, sometimes it's about hanging out and watching tv together and walking the dog. I think he's taught me that making everything an intellectual exercise is actually exhausting and sometimes it's nice to just say well I guessed I liked that and not think much else. I have other people to pick apart media and politics with.

No, I find people endlessly fascinating. People have better stories than I could ever dream up in my head. I love people. I want to cozy up with anyone in a little cafe and hear their life story and pick their brain apart. Even if I end up disliking them, it's fun to armchair psychoanalyze them in my head lol.

Ehhh, lately yes I spend a lot of time by myself. I don't know if I'm happier that way or that's just how it's shaked out after the pandemic, but I'm much more comfortable being alone than I was as a teen. Even in my relationship, we just sometimes do our own thing in the same space, and I like that more than ever. However, I am hoping my new career will get me in contact with lots of new people. I've said this before not too long ago, but I personally think if your friendships are getting stale, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or them, you just need more variety in your life. You have to miss them sometimes to make the relationship stronger. I also have someone I've been getting closer too lately in the past few weeks that I'm excited to extend a more intimate request of friendship soon. I hope she'll say yes to brunch I really want to talk to her more and want to be close friends with her :)

Anon, I'm glad you can see something in me that reminds you of you. Hold on to that as proof that people like you are out there, and you probably have more things in common with all people than you might realize. Also, you will change. Things change. I'm not old but I'm older, and I can tell. When being a homebody gets boring, you'll become a social butterfly. When that gets stale, you'll become a homebody again. It's the way of things.

Good luck sis :)

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sumire-no-nikki · 7 months

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I woke up feeling experimental a couple of days ago. The result was swapping my usual coffee for Vietnamese coffee. I haven't had it for a long time so it was the highlight of my day. It got me thinking.

Vietnamese coffee is typically made using coarsely ground, dark roasted Robusta. It is brewed through a small metal, cylindrical dripper called a phin, and is partnered with Vietnamese condensed milk. Until a couple of months ago, I did not know these specific details. The source of my enlightenment is this coffee podcast I was listening to while out on a walk. From that episode, I learned that while Vietnamese coffee became a trend during the pandemic, the context behind it has been somewhat lost in the hype. Non-Vietnamese people who drink it might perhaps think that it’s “quirky” because of the condensed milk, simply a novelty. But in fact there is a practicality, a necessity behind the use of condensed milk over regular milk. Condensed milk does not require refrigeration and does not spoil as fast as regular milk. In a country that had been poverty stricken and did not have readily available access to refrigeration in the past, this is a critical adaptation to make. And while “Vietnamese Coffee” can technically be made using any type of coffee beans, Robusta (rather than the more dominant Arabica) is specifically the type of coffee bean grown and cultivated in Vietnam. Yet the few cafes who do offer the drink do not specify if they’ve sourced their beans from Vietnam. On a philosophical level, it begs the question: when is Vietnamese Coffee truly a cup of Vietnamese Coffee, and when is it just coffee beans ground to a certain coarseness, filtered through a metal contraption and then mixed with sweet milk?

Now, personally, this is what I love about coffee as a passion. It is science, it is history, it is economics, it is anthropology. I think the desire to feel connected to the land is a part of what it means to be human. When I look for a bag of beans, the origin, the process, the plot of land, the altitude—every single detail matters. It allows me a glimpse into the lives of every single individual who partook in making that bag of coffee possible. It reminds me of the brutal history of coffee, the colonialism and the very long way we have left to truly make it an equitable trade. When I make the decision to buy coffee from a local roaster I am trying to connect with the land, the community of people who are reclaiming their story.

There’s a stereotype for people like me, I am aware, that assumes this meticulousness is out of a sense of elitism or perhaps condescension. Perhaps that stereotype of the “coffee bro” is warranted to an extent (and let’s not even get into the generalization that being “serious about coffee” is a “masculine” trait because here I am, an actual woman who can appreciate specialty coffee without feeling the need to shit on Starbucks/Dunkin). As with any hobby, a small group of people will always take it too far. But allow me to defend this lifestyle just a little bit here.

Before I knew anything about coffee it only served a ritualistic (perhaps a placebo) purpose of “keeping me awake” for the day-in-day-out “grind” (whatever the fuck that actually means, I don’t even know anymore). When I examine my relationship with coffee now, ironically, it is still all about keeping me awake though in a much deeper, existential sense. It is an avenue in my life where I can exercise my consciousness, a means to truly live life to the fullest extent. It challenges me to think more deeply about what I put in my body. It pushes me to heighten my senses, to truly savor everything. It guarantees that I do not take this one life I have for granted.

I think our modern world so easily trips on the illusion of perfection. Everything is glossy and staged and pretty. Worse, there seems to be a tendency to enshrine perfection that looks to have been achieved quickly and effortlessly. But whenever I enjoy coffee I am reminded of the value in the long, exhaustive trial-and-error that comes with producing interesting coffee. When I have my coffee while working I am reassured that I am allowed to be human and alive, not a product, not a thing manufactured through an assembly line. I don’t mean to preach that everyone should only be buying artisan, handmade goods all of the time. I don’t mean to advocate that unless you research your food down to the chemical level then you’re not living a good life. There is no such thing as a perfect way of life. There is only trying and doing. So we must always keep our eyes open and our minds receptive to anything we might have to relearn or unlearn. There’s always more to understand, change our minds about.

I’ve gone a very long way from Vietnamese coffee but here’s my point, finally:

Before I listened to the podcast’s episode on Vietnamese coffee, I didn’t know that it had that history behind it. I had been making it using whatever beans I had at home, not taking into consideration that it is traditionally made with Robusta beans. But I do know now. So while it is not a crime to make Vietnamese coffee with whatever beans you have at home, I now have the knowledge to try to come as close to it. I don’t live in Vietnam but I can choose Robusta beans specifically next time I look for beans. I can look up a cafe specifically catering beans from Vietnam. My horizon has expanded and I think that’s a beautiful thing.

#coffee #diary #sumire-no-nikki

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chihirolovebot · 1 year

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hi hello it's loving physicist hours. i have no idea how you do it but you manage to balance giving them all these little character traits (their tendency toward addiction for example - the pregame cigarettes, the ingame painkillers) that make them feel well-rounded and Real, but you also make them comfortably non-intrusive - they don't take up too much space in a story that's not truly about them. yknow that philosophical exercise with the hammer, where the tool fades into your perception of yourself? that's phys (and all good y/ns to me). they're not Me, but they're also not truly an oc - they're the tool i'm viewing the story through, and they're very good at their job. this probably makes no sense sorry i've just been thinking about them a lot,,,

this was so unexpected i got so excited when i read this og my god . thank u so much first of all my angel im very flattered !!!!

ive spoken a lot abt how important phys is to me, mostly because they are largely based on me and a lot of my traits ( mostly the awkwardness and autism ) but the addictive personality is something i got from myself too ? not necessarily to the same things but more the inclination towards finding distractions to your problems rather than dealing with them head on . im also very glad about your second point, the idea that they dont take up TOO much space. i think stories where a reader insert changes the whole story can and have been excellent, IF that is the intention . if a writer sets out to say 'i think a character who does x would change the story like y' that is awsome and encouraged . but its just not rly what i was aiming for with phys ... i had the Change of Ch3 in mind when i began writing sleep awake but thats probably the biggest canon divergence ive done , and it mostly comes from a place of wanting the story to feel more coherent and thematically satisfying. idk if i accomplished that but that's all i wanted .

ur perception on y/n's is real . i went from seeing them purely as Myself and nothing else to being more open to seeing them as more ... projections of myself ? somewhere between myself and oc ideas i guess . anyway , this was a rly neat and nice thought exercise , thank u very much !!!! made my night a little :')

#dear venus.#🏚.sleep awake

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olowedamilola · 1 year

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How to be confident as a woman

Women go through the same cycle everyday. Being thrown in a position to constantly compare ourselves with others. Society has shoved a particular type of beauty down our throats, to accept it without questioning. But is that really true? Should a stereotypical definition of beauty affect ours as well? The answer is no. Regardless of your height, shape, color, and body type, you are beautiful just the way you are.

We all can’t look the same, which only makes us stand out. Looking different from an Instagram model is the exact reason for your uniqueness, not to make you less. Our background, friends and families have made it hard for us to accept ourselves. But how can we overcome this instilled lack of confidence, self- judgement and low self-esteem?

Be yourself: Be the original version and not a photocopy. The only lie you can tell yourself is to be who you are not. Whether you are considered lean or overweight, you’re you and that’s a beautiful thing. If you can’t accept yourself, people’s opinion will always get to you and you will continue to hide. Everyone has flaws, likewise imperfections, rather than living in self-guilt and denial, embrace them.

2. Focus on your strength. Take out a pen and write twenty qualities and attributes that you like about yourself including your talents and skills. If you are not sure, people have praised you for a particular thing before. Whether it is how you keep everything organized or make decent decorations, so take your time and think about it. Think about what you are naturally good at, and what you like about yourself. How you treat your body and mind matters. Rather than obsessing about a particular flaw you can’t change, highlight your strengths and position yourself where they can be of use.

3. Self-care: A lot of women don’t put any effort in how they dress or appear. Remember first impression goes a long way. Do the needful at least, comb your hair, shave your pubic areas, don’t go out without brushing your teeth, use fragrance, apply moisturizers, shave your pubic area, wear clean clothes and iron them. If you don’t know how to combine colors, learn it on YouTube. Express yourself the best way you can, if you don’t like having makeup on, then don’t. Don’t force yourself into doing what you are uncomfortable with. Always wear a smile. Say positive affirmations to yourself every morning.

4. Class: Carry yourself with elegance and place a value on yourself. Don’t be available all the time, be scarce. Have investment, save money, and save your face when someone tries to disrespect you. Walk like the queen that you are, and respect yourself the way you want others to treat you. Represent yourself well wherever you go. You’re only addressed the way you present yourself. Set healthy boundaries. Maintain eye contact, don’t look down and always keep your posture in check.

5. Kill ignorance: Read books, widen your knowledge, surround yourself with people that can help you grow. Reading gives you an insight to the world, helps you explore the mind of great philosophers and also discover hidden purpose behind successful people. You learn history, stories and develop your creative mind. Ask questions when you don’t know something, get mentorship. Admitting ignorance takes courage, so own that flag and get better. Take courses and learn self-discipline and time management. Eat healthy and exercise. Exercise improves your mind, brain, circulation and promotes flexibility.

Wherever you are, you can stand out, achieve your dreams, fall in love and even succeed in your career. To attract others, confidence and the goodness of life, you need to attract yourself first. Get too good to be ignored, improve your value and your self-worth.

#confidence #confident #how to be happy #how to be confident #lifestyle #fitness #health #self development #self improvement #confidence boost #growth

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msbooks21 · 2 days

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A Guide for the Modern Soul: A Review of "Bhagavad Gita for the Modern World"

I recently finished reading "Bhagavad Gita for the Modern World," and I found it to be an enlightening and inspiring exploration of this ancient Indian scripture. The book presents the timeless wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita in a way that is both accessible and relatable to contemporary readers.

Fresh Perspective on a Classic Text

The Bhagavad Gita, a part of the Mahabharata, is a revered text in Hinduism. It tells the story of Arjuna, a warrior prince, who is filled with doubt and despair on the eve of a great battle. His charioteer, Krishna, who is also a divine incarnation of Vishnu, reveals profound philosophical and spiritual truths to Arjuna, guiding him towards fulfilling his duty.

"Bhagavad Gita for the Modern World" avoids presenting the text as a mere historical artifact. Instead, it highlights the enduring relevance of the Gita's message. The book demonstrates how the core themes of the Bhagavad Gita – duty, action, knowledge, and devotion – can be applied to the challenges and complexities of modern life.

Practical Applications for Everyday Life

One of the book's greatest strengths is its ability to bridge the gap between ancient wisdom and contemporary experience. The authors provide practical tips and exercises that can help readers integrate the teachings of the Gita into their daily lives. For example, the book explores how the concept of "karma" (the law of cause and effect) can be used to make more conscious choices and navigate difficult situations.

The concept of "dharma" (righteous duty) is also made relevant to modern readers. The book encourages readers to identify their own unique dharma and to act with integrity and purpose in all aspects of their lives.

Finding Peace Amidst Modern Challenges

The world can be a stressful and overwhelming place. "Bhagavad Gita for the Modern World" acknowledges these challenges and offers guidance on how to find inner peace and equanimity. The book explores various yogic practices, such as meditation and mindfulness, that can help readers cultivate a sense of calm and well-being.

The Bhagavad Gita emphasizes the importance of detachment from the fruits of one's actions. The book explains that focusing on doing our duty with a selfless spirit, rather than fixating on outcomes, can lead to a more fulfilling and peaceful life.

A Valuable Resource for Spiritual Seekers

"Bhagavad Gita for the Modern World" is a valuable resource for anyone interested in exploring the Bhagavad Gita or deepening their understanding of Hinduism. However, the book's message is universal and can benefit anyone seeking guidance on leading a more meaningful and purposeful life. Whether you are a seasoned spiritual seeker or simply curious about ancient wisdom, this book offers valuable insights and practical tools for navigating the complexities of the modern world.

In conclusion, "Bhagavad Gita for the Modern World" is an insightful and engaging read. It offers a fresh perspective on a classic text and provides practical guidance for applying its timeless wisdom to our everyday lives. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking greater clarity, purpose, and peace in their journey through life.

#best books #bhagavad gita #Life changing

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secular-mente · 4 months

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The Art of Acceptance

"Embracing the Uncontrollable: Stoic Principle of Acceptance"

Welcome back to 'Rational Reflections,' where our exploration of Stoicism deepens with a focus on a fundamental principle—acceptance. In the pursuit of mastering serenity through Stoicism, understanding and applying the Stoic principle of acceptance becomes pivotal. It is the cornerstone upon which a resilient and tranquil mindset is built.

Understanding the Stoic Principle of Acceptance: The Stoic philosophy invites us to acknowledge the existence of factors beyond our control and, rather than resisting or being distressed by them, to accept them with a calm and rational mind. At its essence, acceptance is an active acknowledgment of reality, allowing us to navigate life's complexities with grace.

Acceptance vs. Resignation: It's important to distinguish acceptance from resignation. Stoic acceptance is not a passive surrender to fate; instead, it is a conscious decision to focus our energy on what we can control. This empowers us to approach life's challenges with resilience and a clear mind.

Practical Examples: Consider the wisdom of Epictetus, an ancient Stoic philosopher who, despite facing physical challenges as a slave, found serenity by accepting his circumstances and concentrating on what he could control—his thoughts and reactions. In modern times, the story of Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, exemplifies the transformative power of accepting even the most harrowing circumstances.

Applications in Daily Life: Let's bring this principle closer to home with practical examples. Next time you find yourself stuck in traffic, instead of succumbing to frustration, practice acceptance. Utilize the time for reflection, listen to an audiobook, or simply enjoy a moment of solitude. In workplace challenges or personal relationships, acknowledging and accepting the aspects beyond your control can lead to a more centered and composed existence.

Benefits of Acceptance: The rewards of embracing acceptance are manifold. Inner peace becomes a constant companion as we free ourselves from the unnecessary burden of stress and anxiety. Clarity of thought naturally follows, allowing for rational decision-making, unclouded by emotional turmoil. Moreover, the practice of acceptance cultivates resilience, empowering us to bounce back from setbacks with newfound strength.

Conclusion: As we unravel the Stoic principle of acceptance in 'Mastering Serenity,' it becomes evident that this mindset serves as the bedrock of a tranquil life. By integrating acceptance into our daily lives, we open the door to a calmer existence, ready to embrace the unpredictable nature of life with open arms.

In our next installment, we'll delve into practical exercises designed to cultivate acceptance in various aspects of our daily lives. Join us on this journey towards mastering serenity through the wisdom of Stoicism.

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phoenixprjct · 4 months

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📚 Father of the Future is a flawed but ultimately rewarding philosophical sci-fi adventure - Basic Review 📚

*This novel was gifted by the author in exchange for an honest review (although I did purchase a copy for easier reading)*

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐.5

Author (Platform): Darren Dash (Kindle)

Publisher (Release): Home of the Damned (2023)

What is it to be human?

The million-dollar question we all wrestle with at some point in our lives and can never truly find an answer to. Father of the Future takes it on within its dystopian utopia, regaling the reader with a thought-provoking exercise in philosophy and morality. There's plenty of sci-fi to keep the story from growing stale, but its more cerebral focus does bring the pace to a languish speed. There are no epic battles, for example, with author Darren Dash building the meeting place for minds rather than futuristic combat. Characters, by design, don't quite stand out but powerful culture clashes pit equality and equity against one another, excelling at forcing the reader to challenge their own positions within that space and face the consequences of even their most selfless of stances. It's easy to say peace is the greatest goal of humanity, especially in the midst of a crisis, but if that peace requires your soul, your will, and the very chains that make, what you consider, a whole human being, is it worth it?

Father of the Future provides an intensely layered experience even when its surface content can't quite match its ambitions. Isolating choices and limiting characters works fantastically well in places for world-building but can leave more grounded development a little lacking. Dash's attempt to be more inclusive with non-binary characters and language is admirable but, personally, distracting and frustrating. Gender ideology is a tricky topic that can never seem to find its middle ground and, sadly, Father of the Future suffers from using neopronouns that don't exist outside of a chaotic and ephemeral subculture. Structurally, it brings the reader to a stop as they process whether or not a grammatical mistake has been made when they're assaulted with repeated ze/hir within a sentence and paragraph. Even more concerning is the simplistic approach to being non-binary. Within the novel, it's often portrayed as better than the more traditional understanding of being male or female, with the protagonist even questioning whether or not he should seek help in changing who he is (which, as a gay man, had the unfortunate effect of sounding like conversation therapy).

Stepping back from that rabbit hole, Darren Dash creates a flawed but strikingly thoughtful sci-fi adventure. Fans of time travel will love dissecting the intricacies of Dash's interpretation and moral philosophers will adore the balanced arguments surrounding adversity and character. It won't hit with everyone, but manage to sink your teeth into Father of the Future and you'll find a wholly rewarding experience.

For the full review and more posts like it, follow me here and visit my site:

#book review #books #book reviews #fatherofthefuture #darrendash #darren shan

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talenlee · 6 months

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3e: Prestige Fantasy

In 3rd edition D&D, you started with a class. Then, in the DMG, they introduce the idea that as you level up, you could get access to a ‘prestige’ class, this idea of a special kind of class that let you create a different, interesting permutation of the base class. Based on the prestige classes in the DMG, it was pretty easy to see that these were meant to be interesting forks for the way a character’s life could change, as a way to ‘pick up’ a class in the middle of a game that didn’t lock you into starting something from scratch.

This interesting idea quickly fell by the wayside as instead of alternative classes you could introduce into the game in a later space that players could graduate into when their story became specific, prestige classes became the natural progression a whole bunch of players expected to graduate into, and they were the main reason to buy new splatbooks.

The problem, of course, is capitalism, but let’s look at the problem anyway.

Prestige classes wound up breaking into four not-quite distinct and sometimes-overlapping forms.

The ‘similar but different’ type of design the original DMG presented. These are classes that wanted to be a spin on the mechanics of a class, but not strictly better than any class you got into them from. Typically, these classes would have pretty easy requirements – things you’d just normally pick up if this class had the right vibe.

The ‘upgraded’ type of design, where difficult requirements were used as a way to enable a really powerful design. Often these were hard to get into, but the requirements might be things you wanted to do anyway.

The ‘patch’ type of design, where the requirements were often things that did actually demand two different, competing axes of development, like a fighter and a mage, and ostensibly the design was meant to help those two things work together when they wouldn’t otherwise. We’ve talked about these before, with the supermount and aeshkrau builds.

The ‘flavour first’ type of design where someone had an idea for something that in the setting was meant to be important, and stuck some pieces together to be a prestige class, then made the requirements things that made narrative sense. Overwhelmingly, these designs were awful, because they were made to serve a narrative space and not a player’s interest.

These different ways for a prestige class to work resulted in a very uneven application of the design technology. There wasn’t a single distinct philosophical position about what prestige classes were even doing, which meant that as with so many things in 3e, the idea of making things fair or functional compared to one another was an exercise Left To The Reader.

What’s more, because prestige classes were designed so that the prerequisites for getting into them weren’t strictly class limited, it wasn’t uncommon for a prestige class that was interesting and weird in one place got to do something really bloody weird in some other place. The Rainbow Serpent interacted with the Warmage in a really exciting way (that happened way too late to do anything). The Eldritch Knight and the Militia Background feat interact in a way that’s pretty exciting for what it’s doing.

But then there were some classes that were just so easy to get into, it didn’t really matter what they were meant to imply or what flavour they brought, because the power they brought was something that let you do other things. And since these options were so present and so common it was kind of easier for a DM to just ask you to bring them what you wanted to use, see if it worked for what they were doing – usually only checking power level rather than flavour – and just accepting it. This meant that prestige classes were essentially a research project for your character – is this the best way to do this, is this the only way to do this, what more can I squeeze out of this, is this class worth knowing about for some unique combination of traits, etcetera.

There’s a lot of useless knowledge rattling around in my head about the different kinds of classes, the specific niches that each opens up, that kinda thing. Examples of the kinds of prestige classes that are available in each of these categories aren’t great to point to, especially when mostly, I just remember the really powerful spellcaster ones that I had to nerf for my own campaign. There’s a real tragedy of the wizard, mind you, where by making all the prestige classes give up exactly one, first, level of spellcasting, every single wizard prestige class suddenly became unplayable, which should have been a sign of another problem.

Anyway, in the start of the Complete Warrior prestige class section, it opens with a little table that divided up the prestige classes into general vibes. Good guys, bad guys, literally, along with things like ‘magical’ or ‘mystical’ types. This was a really good idea, and like so many good ideas that were based around the fighter in 3rd edition, they didn’t folllow up on it or do it again.

But the most interesting thing they offered was a fantasy. The idea that a prestige class wasn’t a set of mechanical opportunities, but instead a set of character inspirations that you could build around. The problem that flowed from that is that in many cases, the fantasy was sometihng the system couldn’t follow up on. Just as an example, in that book, there was the Hulking Hurler, which was a thrown weapon character who could instead of looking at the weapon’s stats, throw things and deal damage based on their weight. If you’re not familiar with the math of this kind of particular thing in D&D, or the way that weight scaled up fast, you might not be aware that this is the kind of mechanical direction that results in a character doing phone book number kinds of damage. On the other end, there’s the Exotic Weapon Master, who needs to be good at a bunch of different weapons, a novel idea that neglects that a player character can only ever attack with one weapon at a time, so all the exotic proficiencies are usually doing dick nothing.

And there’s no real middle ground on this kind of thing. The system’s fundamental imbalance meant that when you picked up a prestige class you couldn’t be sure what it got you without a great degree of system mastery, and few of them ever really offered you a meaningful fantasy that did a good job of representing what the class did. Those that did were rare, and then those that did a good job of that were further divided up into the ones that were good, or a waste of time.

Turns out when you build on sand, you get some lopsided towers.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#DnD 3e #Dungeons &amp; Dragons #Games

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headlesssamurai · 7 months

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not a clone wars fan then or rebels

I'd reckon it's less to do with being a "fan" of anything in particular, and far more involving a passionate investment in the philological enjoyment of storytelling as an art form, an entertainment medium, and an inspirational tool as these relate to the linguistic tradition of narrative structure.

Star Wars at its core was nothing especially deep or philosophical beyond a simple adventure story, and far from perfect at that, yet its cast of lovely characters, minimalistic worldbuilding, and a confluence of passionate individuals collaborating to portray an artistic vision captured something like lightning-in-a-bottle as a film franchise. I cannot help but notice that subsequent attempts to re-bottle this proverbial lightning have become more and more iterative with each new installment, and at the same time less minimalistic and more philosophical in their plotting and worldbuilding - which is not always a good thing. Some stories (Blade Runner, Solaris, et cetera) thrive precisely because they do not over-explain their premises, others flourish for the opposite, but I've observed that a simple adventure story suffers greatly when injected with needless layers of explanation, elements which grow superfluous the more are tacked-on, resulting in a product that emerges as incredibly generic rather than notably outstanding as the first Star Wars was.

Apart from this, and unlike another property owned by the same conglomerate, Star Wars is not a massive comic books universe with eight decades of continuous stories from which to adapt new shows and films. Its relevant stories were heretofore limited to three films (of the aforementioned simplistic adventure story) and three more (of the latter mentioned iterative and overexplained expansion of said adventure story), as well as a plethora of third-party material which amounts to mountains of fan fiction of questionable quality. I've thus no recourse to feel excitement nor obligation to new pieces of media bearing the Star Wars title as its inherent meaning has been slowly diminished each time it's slapped onto something new.

Well, that, and I own copies of the first six Star Wars films, and Sleeping Beauty (the only Disney film with a dragon fight at its climax), so I've little motivation to pay for a monthly service that would allow me to watch new or old content. I might say I'd pirate it if curious enough, but I'd imagine the effort undertaken to do so would be better spent exercising, meditating, or making tea.

侍 headless

#anonymeisters #curious people #a galaxy far far away #and han solo

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wiw3 · 8 months

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Kicking (Most of) My Social Media Habit

Ahoy. People make exceptions for the things that they like, right? We rule-bend and hypocritically apply double-standards to the things that we think should be in our lives, right? Does everyone do this? Or do only weak people do this?

It's something that's been keeping me up at night, this idea that, like intelligence, weakness and strength are subjectively relative to the individual, just as there are different types of emotional intelligence, there must too exist a type of emotional strength, or weakness, right?

I'm caught up in trying to be as strong as I can be in all aspects right now, and I can feel it tearing me apart and nearly forcing a relapse. That level of stress isn't good for anyone, least of all someone as unwell-adjusted as me.

Self-awareness is becoming trendy, at least in the darker circles of the internet. It's about time that stoicism got the attention that it deserved from modern philosophers. Still, I find myself worrying.

A new job in management, a dramatic shift in living conditions, getting off of drugs, taking it upon myself to design a new world for Dungeons & Dragons while simultaneously trying to keep myself writing? It feels like too much, but it's what I deserve. I'd prefer to be overloaded with work, rather than not having enough of it to do.

Maybe it makes me a workaholic, but I'd like to think that because of procrastination, I've never been a workaholic a day in my life. Workaholics are haunted by feelings of uselessness, I'm just haunted by shaky-leg syndrome while writing this out at work.

I'm just grateful to be able to get this out with the short time that I have. The pressure is on, and I hate feeling preoccupied when dealing with other people. It's something on which I'll have to work.

I've uninstalled a few more crutches from my phone, this little beeping device that keeps me plugged in to the world at large. I need to upgrade, but in this economy, I'd rather save my money until this thing becomes obsolete.

I feel obsolete, myself. I'm stretching myself too thin to possibly be giving my full attention to any one given project. I need to change tack, and alter my brain chemistry even more until I'm not afraid to do the things that I fear doing the most, like laundry.

I don't know why I fear success to the point that I'm paralyzed in my quest to try to obtain it. Serious self-doubt lives under these bones, and it would be all too easy to convince me to burn it all down, to spite myself. I seem to only be able to get things done when I'm neglecting a bigger monster.

Maybe I'll get myself all worked up to go on a long bike ride outside, but right at the start, I'll impulsively ignore the responsibility to exercise in order to trick my brain into getting more writing done. I haven't had an idea for any type of script since I threw out the moonshining movie. That was a good one, and maybe I'll go back to it.

Likely not, I don't want to pitch my first 100 scripts, I'd like to get really good at writing them, first. I want my ideas to flow like nothing; effortless, systemic, like soup.

I'm trying my hardest to see the good in humanity, but the bad has been tattooed on my human experience like "no regerts", but I digress. I need to just breathe and vent to an airspace that doesn't care whether I live, or die.

In any case, I'll try to update this a little more often, since I'm slowly crawling out of my comfort zone, inch by inch. I want to tell more stories on this blog, and to make it more of a piece of artistic expression rather than rambling, but there'll be rambling hidden amongst the artistic bits. Sometimes I won't want to disguise the pain with jokes, sometimes it'll just be me opening the furnace for a little flame to shoot out just so it doesn't consume me. This booming engine needs an exhaust.

I should probably get back to work, considering I'm typing this on company time. Thankfully the boss-man doesn't know about the blog, and assumes I'm getting work done.

Shit he's looking gotta post and gotta go!

#i'll tag this later #tagged later #love #writing #rage #rant #rants coming soon #big things coming soon #draft saved moment #procrastination #exercise #updates #update #blog update #blog #blogging #creative writing

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sevinchashirova · 10 months

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How to memorize any information by active learning (by Sevinch Ashirova)

“There’s no such thing as a good memory or a bad memory, there’s only a trained memory and an untrained memory”

This article will cover the following parts:

1. Why you need to memorize

2. What is active learning and its components

3. How to memorize and deliver a speech (without notes)

4. How to remember a person’s name

PART #1. Here’s why you need to memorize:

· Brain fitness

Your brain is like a muscle, and memory training is a form of exercise. Over time, like any form of exercise, it’ll make your brain fitter and quicker. This means you will reduce chances of getting amnesia and dementia.

· Access to search engines is not always available

You will never know when a particular information will be needed. This is especially useful to students attempting their exams.

· You get to be an expert in your field

Memorization creates the repertoire of what we think about. To be an expert in any field requires knowledge that you already have.

· You use your memory to think

You can only think by linking the memories you already have in your brain. The better you remember the better the quality of your thoughts.

· You use your memory to learn faster

Your brain isn’t like a container, it’s more of a muscle. The more you use it to remember, the more you can store new things. This is why veteran waiters don’t have to write down their orders.

PART #2. Active learning

As a general rule you are more likely to remember things which you find valuable and important. But this doesn’t guarantee you will always remember them.

Many people use the so called “rote learning” where they repeat saying or writing things down so they won’t forget. But this method is very tedious and boring. Cramming is ineffective especially for long term memory.

On the other hand, active learning is highly effective because it uses a larger part of your brain in comparison to rote learning.

Here is how you can apply active learning;

· Attach multiple strings

You are more likely to remember a thing with more details attached to it. This can be achieved by association and the use of emotions.

To remember something new, you have to associate it with something you already know.

For example..

You’re more likely to remember a person’s job as a baker rather than a person whose name is Baker. Because a baker as an occupation, you tend to associate it with bread, ovens, cakes, a big white hat, and whatever bakers do. But the name Baker is tethered only to a memory of the person’s face.

Information combined with emotions becomes a long term memory. When you fill your learning with adventures, it becomes humorous and you’re more likely to remember.

For example..

Learning while listening to baroque music, chewing a mint bubblegum or smelling a certain scent.

· Turning it into a story

This technique is especially useful when you want to remember a series or a list of things.

First, visualize what you want to remember. See it in form of mental pictures. Then connect the pictures and turn them to a story.

For example..

I wanted to remember the seven Harry Potter book series. I made this story (and of course it doesn’t make sense):

A STONE is thrown in a dark CHAMBER where a PRISONER is held. But it’s so cold so there was a FIRE across the prisoner cage. But if you look closely the were actually seven fires placed in a linear ORDER. At the end of the line there stood a PRINCE with blood all over. The blood was caused by a huge HOLLOW on his chest.

From this story I was able to remember the seven Harry Potter book series in their order.

If you don’t know the book-series here are the titles:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

PART #3. Delivering a speech or a presentation (without notes)

This can be delivering a report to your board, sharing your expertise in a subject in front of your class, or any other situation.

This can be done by the application of “loci method” where you align the things you want to remember with specific points or places that you know well. These are the steps to follow;

First identify the major points in your speech.

Now imagine a place you know well or a path.

Then, attach your major talking-points to a specific point on that path or place.

Lastly, practice your speech using your walk through the location as a tool for remembering each of the primary messages in the presentation.

For example, you can imagine a path around your bedroom. You can then assign your first point to a lamp, a second point to your chair, a third point to your bed and so on.

PART #4. How to remember a person’s name

· When you hear a person’s name for the first time, say it back

· During the course of your conversation with this person, use their name.

· Ask where a name came from or what it means. This is particularly useful when you met someone with a less-common name.

· Visualize it in your head. Try to attach an image to a person’s name. For example, if you meet someone called Asia imagine they live in Asia continent. Or if you meet someone called Mary imagine her wearing a wedding veil on the day she gets married.

· Remember the more details you attach to a name the more likely you will remember it

PART #5. Books recommendation

I hope you gained something!

#useful #lifestlye

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abscifi · 1 year

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Not of This World

---

Science Fiction / Horror

A standalone short story. This is a dream I had a few weeks ago that scared the shit out of me. In my dream, I am the creature. It doesn't seem as scary written down- let me know if you feel differently. It could exist in the story of Pandora's Orchard, but it might not.

As always, this is an unpublished rough draft, so changes will happen.

Enjoy.

-Andy

---

The creature stirred.

Or rather, the simulation of the creature stirred.

The physiology and microbiology of this species was fascinating and endlessly complex, and replicating it in a higher number of orthogonal dimensions was an impressive feat on its own. For there to be any possibility that a living being from a 3-brane would be able to be brought to life here and now provoked greater existential questions-- the team had left those to philosophers. The fact was they could try, and so they would.

The creature would never know- the pocket of lower-dimensional space was well stabilized within its chamber. It would be impossible to detect from within that the creature was in anything other than a perfect inertial reference frame pushing against a smooth spacetime curvature. The secret ingredient they had long needed came in the set of solutions integrating that elusive half-dimension the matter in their universe depended on for structure- finally their gravity models worked correctly with simulated particle physics.

Their observations of the 3-brane had led to startling conclusions; within their own universe, there existed a layer within a layer, bubbles of subatomic size that composed a great shape beyond comprehension. These creatures lived within that layer— everywhere and nowhere all at once, bigger and smaller at the same time than anything the scientists or their people could compare to.

They had found a creature- one of those beings that seemed to be present in every one of the bubbles- whose universe was scoured, empty and dark. The creature lived still, somehow able to sustain itself in what otherwise appeared to be a cold, dead vacuum. This was perfect- they wouldn’t need to simulate a 3 dimensional atmosphere, a huge barrier to progress.

It moved now, its observation chamber projected upon the manifold the scientists observed. They monitored this multidimensional display carefully, examining with exasperated expressions all of the curious components of the being- inside and out- as it moved in real time.

These humans, as they tended to call themselves, were merely toroidal 3-brane entities constrained by a unidirectional time dimension. It was somewhat ironic that their anus formed first in utero, considering these scientists regarded their rudimentary dimension as the anus of the multiverse.

The creature propped itself up on its arms, looking around the chamber and blinking, stretching its body upwards.

It was a miracle.

They had discovered sentient life outside their species.

Though, this was still merely a simulation— an assembly of 3 dimensional sub-particles that had been constructed using matter projectors. It was a “physically real” hologram, sure, but they had no way to make contact with the creature itself. The hologram acted with whatever impulses were contained in its replicated tissues. This exercise was purely observational.

The creature stood. Staggering on its thin and trembling legs, the naked and flaccid being opened its mouth and appeared to speak to no one. Its “brain” and anatomy seemed to be working quite well, exact duplicates of the living creature they had found.

They would need to go ahead and shut the experiment down soon, however. There were ethical questions about artificial entities being made in matter projectors, and they got more and more hairy the longer the thing was turned on. These were simple toroidal 3-brane entities, after all. They were hardly sentient in the same way, they weren't even capable of moving freely along all of their orthogonal axes. Considering their anus formed first in utero, it's no surprise the scientists essentially considered that reality the anus of the multiverse. Letting them live might constitute cruelty.

But something was happening.

The creature stared at its own hands.

It seemed to regard them curiously.

Then they changed.

The scientists exchanged worried glances.

The now-silent human's hands stretched and warped as it stared at them with grim determination.

A fear struck the observers, one they couldn’t quantify.

The creature turned and looked directly at them. This was impossible. They existed outside of the space this thing was constructed in, they weren’t *in* a direction. And yet each of them felt its eyes gazing upon them.

The slender being lowered its hands, opened its mouth, its eyes filled with a black ichor, and a swirling mass of oily, dark liquid exploded out of its body, filling the chamber in an instant. The creature disappeared within the churning roil.

As the observers raced to shut down the machine, the barriers containing the simulation cracked.

A soupy blackness penetrated the space outside from every direction at once.

#science fiction #horror #original story #fiction #short story #writing

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rumblelibrary · 3 years

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The Diary of Doctor Laszlo Kreizler

Chapter 1

Synopsis: Alienist’s notes are private, sometimes gruesome, secrets of others and of himself.Those pages belongs to secrecy and decadence, have a glimpse to this world made of drafts, notes, accidents and reflections. Or maybe it is you the only person that should ever reach for it.

While you read this imagine Laszlo mostly at the end of his day, scraping the ideas and the thoughts, adjusting previous notes with additions, closing the day behind himself with a couple of sentences while sitting in his evening robe, a good glass of whiskey and his glasses bridged almost at the tip of his nose. Or maybe imagine yourself, you sneaky thing, reach for it from a far shelf.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: listen, this is the set of ideas and confessions of a man living in the 1890’s. Most of them will be outdated, rough, even deprecating in some analysis of the roles of men, women and social status, religion, etc.So be prepared, my point is to make Laszlo reflect upon those topics, but to be as faithful as I can to his time. Mention of death, mutilation, self harm and a minor depiction of a fight. Psychologically troubled young children ahead! Author’s note: I am a nerd for a good Victorian novel and a sexy Alienist.I have always been charmed by Laszlo’s mind and inner conflicts. So I took the chance and tried to have a run into that rollercoaster. The story is placed between season 1 and season 2.

Diary belonging to Dr. Laszlo Kreizler. This is a professional book of annotations over medical treatments of an alienist toward his patients. Do not disclose and send it back to the address if found: Kreizler’s Institute, xxxxxx, New York City (NY) L.K.

Samuel Griswold Goodrich, Illustrated Natural History of the Animal Kingdom (c1859). Contributed for digitization by University Library, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

Schiller in his “Die Weltweisen” wrote: So long as philosophy keeps together the structure of the Universe so long does it maintain the world’s machinery by hunger and love. From the philosopher point of view sexual life takes a subordinate position in human’s life, from recent studies pushed by European philosophers, everything is about sexuality and its development. I like to think of the experience of being an alienist as the process of Queen Penelope that, while waiting for her husband Ulysses return, undoes her craftwork every night. I undo the fabulous constructs of people’s beliefs to go back to the rough sketch that stands at the beginning of their loss, their complex, their pain. Maybe that’s why working with children is so motivating and fascinating. They can be saved and yet, I am well aware, some of those sketches already traced in their young lives equal to scars that not even the most advanced theories could cure. But I can sooth them. I can prevent them the torment, the anguish, the recollection at night of those monsters. I feel like a poet would be a better alienist than a philosopher, but I have got no poetry nor philosophy in my veins, but the cold experience of the razor blade judgment of Life itself.

Today I observed a fight among the children at the Institute. Age range between 10 and 12. Boys. The fight was over the possession of a side of the playground, the territory of a pack of youngsters formed under the name of Steven. Peculiar lad, coming from a military background finds comfort in replicating the schemes he lived in his family. He takes the role of the Father/Captain of the team and subjects children that come from a similar background story, but do not posses his same attitude to the command. All quiet on the front, until the space he declared is own spot got affected by the presence of others. Intruders. I knowingly let the events unfold to see how Steven would react to his challenged authority. His reaction was, at first, worded, a sketch, a stage-play of an action he witnessed over and over, and he knew the part so well that some of the contending kids lowered their stance against him. Among considering to mildly intervene into this pyramid scheme of authority, another boy, Jan, calls himself on the role of the educator and hero of the masses and proceeds to unfold a wild and well assessed punch on the newly declared dictator face. Balance is established again. No need for me to arbitrate, once more the laws of nature seem to apply to children as in a state of nature.

Meet John Moore over lunch. His job at the newspaper is picking up, he is charmed by the spirits and the wits that he finds in his shared office with all the other writers. He mentions many, goes on and on over qualities and troubles, gossips and tendencies, and even little scandals here and there. To be aware of all those details gives me no interest, but to see a dear friend so invested clearly gives me something to pick up. To consider also the amount of details and the way he describes this or that member of the journal, I can do a small exercise of analysis. It is almost too easy because John is painfully genuine, even some of the kids at the institute would beat him hands down in a battle of lies. The more he likes somebody, the more he goes on about all the details and the characteristics, often letting aside the physical appearance. When he doesn’t like somebody he has a couple of adjectives for the wits and around four or five for the physical aspects that usually indulge on some repulsive idiosyncrasies. John is a man that painfully fits in the storyline of The Picture of Dorian Gray: to him physical beauty is spiritual beauty and, of course, the other way around. This part of him surely intrigues me, makes me want to tease more from him. But, as a friend, it concerns me as John is way too prone to purposelessly decide that somebody with good eyes is also a good human being, which is a very romantic and admirably naive way of judging matters. I noticed some names that keep repeating in his narration. I dread that it is synonymous of a soon encounter from my side with the objects of his admiration. Fetiches, I dare to say, that I will have to annihilate before they sediment into his mind, perpetuating a narration that soon sees John being mislead by others.

Reserved: Tickets for the Eroica, Symphony n. 3 by Ludwig van Beethoven. Thursday evening.

Note on the show: the first movement lacked the pathos needed to begin with, I am not sure that the guest orchestra really managed to portray the wider emotional ground needed to withstand the whole representation. As the evening progressed there were some outstanding performances by the cellists. Still not approving the choice of reprising the early quick finale movement against the lengthy set of variations and fugue that we are used to in presence of the Eroica. Underwhelming the performance of the horn and oboe, vital in the comprehension of the genius of Beethoven.

Niki is a new addition of the Institute, quite old for the standards. He is already 16, he will leave when summer ends to some expensive college his family meant him to stay. His parents expect me to make him “normal” in the time we are allowed together. He is Austrian and I let him act it out like I don’t understand German for the first week of hist stay until today. I believe I hit his pride, which is good, in the moment I answered back to one of his sneaky comments. Now he knows. He is not safe from me, he doesn’t like it. The young man has a tendency to danger, risky tasks and edgy situations. In his mother’s own words “Niki is not afraid of anything”. The phrase didn’t raise any excitement in the father, rather some sort of painful acceptance that is role as the alpha male of the house is probably not only being challenged, but already diminished, if not abolished. I have taken in consideration that Niki will break himself a bone or two in the process of the therapy, probably out of the spite of boredom or rebellion. It took him less than few days to turn himself into an outcast among the outcasts, which only drives me closer to analyse the complexity of his narcissistic wall of self defence. I gave him a physical challenge to lift a certain weight, he is a pretty skinny one, he didn’t like the challenge, but I am sure he will take it. He is a brainy guy, he hates to be questioned on unfamiliar ground. He won’t sleep at night thinking about it. A challenge, in this first phase, can only bring me closer to the ease of his pains. To continue the observation.

It is a sad privilege of medicine, in particular the one I practice, to be able to witness the weaknesses of the human nature and the reverse side of life. Nevertheless, I oblige this same privilege of the study as life moves into shades of darkness. To be aware of it gives more solace to my soul than to be victim of patiently waiting for the inevitable unfolding of the events. To be able to understand more about psychology would bring more comfort and elevation to any human being, the times might not be there yet, but eventually something will move into the direction of a more wholesome approach.

Dinner meeting with Sara Howard, at the restaurant Jardin Des Cygnes, 7 pm sharp. Do not expect to reach the dessert. Do not know if John will be participating due to undeniable tension among the two and the fatal despise of John over French cuisine.

The case that Sara unfolded tonight to my ears feels more and more like pulled out from some gothic book or from the mind of a Roman historian that needed to justify the godly origins of an Emperor. One killing, apparently random, a very constructed iconography over the body. Signs and insults, shapes and drawings. Is this a work of art? Does the killer wants his victim to be his Mona Lisa? His David? I am charmed and destabilised. If this was a murder like any other, then why to spend so much time into it? Based on the description the act of killing itself was quick: a sharp cut over the throat, almost like not wanting to ruin too much the surface to use as base for, what? I keep rerunning those symbols over and over as Sara described them to me, my mind is flooded with the designs of greek philosophers that needed to explain themselves why the sky is above our head and never collapses on us. Hilarious how, no matter the science advancement, in the mind of many the sky stands inevitably overt their shoulders, suffocates them, brings them to a death of the soul and not of the body. Is all this graphic charade indeed only a form to scream for attention? To stress the eyes of an unaware viewer? It seems ridiculously elaborate, a scream for attention would be quick, it would be like guided by instinct, not reasoning, craftwork. Any man with a knife can paint in blood red the walls of a room and that’s asking for attention. That is the primal howl: look at me! I am here! But this one. I don’t know yet.

Spent the early morning reading anew my copy of The Metamorphosis by Ovid. Didn’t touch it in a long time and I got bedazzled by the world of terrible sensuality, anger and selfishness of those gods and mortals. I think back at all the deviances and weaknesses of human kind and I try to relate it to all of those humanoid figures. Niki would be a minotaur, the lonesome son left in the labyrinth and his strive for success is his bull’s head. Or maybe a centaur, because of his wits and strategic thinking. I might keep up the process, maybe this is the way to understand my patients better, to understand the killer better. Must remember not to romanticise it. Greek gods were probably the first form of self indulging of a society that needed gods to be forgiving and allowing favours and punishments, but only in exchange of sacrifices. But the sacrifice never comes from the God’s will, but from the will of the man that perpetuates the act of killing. To sacrifice someone or something is the sadistic response to a lack of love deeply inherited in human mind that becomes neurotic. Is the killer giving the God of his own neurosis a body to feast upon?

I talked with Jan this morning. The young boy is about 10, but he acts like a full grown adult. I could easily asses that’s the reason why he could challenge Steven in that fight. Two children mimicking adults situations they know too well. Jan is son of an industrial man, but he is also son of the dialectics of the industrial revolution. He sounds like he swallowed some of those books about working class rights and communism, probably pushed by a resentful surrounding (mother?uncle? the midwife?) over the social role of his father. As much as incredibly smart and lectured, Jan lost most of his early occasions in life by spending a considerable amount of time using his fists. The anger ever present in the young boy always surprises me, he seems to be holding a power, a strength of a full grown man in those tiny arms. Nevertheless, he is already the tallest of the group. He is surely an idealist, which makes him also tragically fragile. His strength mixed with his heart of gold can make him the best of the heroes or the worst of the villains. He apologised for the fight, he specified how he didn’t like the sound of Steven’s voice, more than the sound, the level of pitch. I can’t stand somebody shouting orders, I just don’t listen anymore. He is so mature even about his own feelings, almost a gentleman in his chivalry toward the weaker children, honest with his open heart and resentful against any form of injustice. I am not spared by his ways, he would come at me whenever he feels like I was being partial over some of the kids, his sense of justice blinds him and transform a perfectly balanced boy into a ranging animal.

Ordered book, to be delivered around tomorrow evening: Introduction à la méthode de Léonard de Vinci by Paul Valéry. Suddenly feeling myself as a gross ignorant in art themes. I always regarded myself aware of the artistic personalities and tendencies of present and past, but this new amount of perceptions over the human figure and the human body leads me to document myself more. I could ask John for advice, but he wouldn’t take things at matter that seriously. I can almost hear him say how I can make gruesome a pleasant topic such as art. I should probably wait to see the body to push any further aesthetic study, but I find myself not being able to stop. I reckon, I can allow myself a vice or two.

Today I saw the body of the killed man, courtesy of the Isaacson's. To be fair, I had underestimated it. In Sara’s descriptions, probably due to her more analytic mind, all the charm of the representation got lost in favour of a less cryptic and reasonable understanding of the act. Sara got what some alienists will call a masculine mind, which I don’t perfectly agree on. If I apply that same approach John would be a very feminine mind, all wrapped up in romanticising even the ugliest. I guess that dividing the world in “fragile and gentle” and “strong and powerful” is just easier to explain the fluctuation of something that doesn’t need a real name or a category like human inclinations on thoughts. I got a feverish sense of patience by looking at the body. Each symbol traced with sapient slowness, dense of the time that the killer spent with the body. That is a work of hours, he had time and meaning. He had resources and was able to spend not less than the time he needed to reach, a vision? An ideal? A message? Is it the message meant to be understood? Am I supposed to unravel it or it is maybe just the way the killer communicates within himself? And if I do decifrate the code, will that bring me closer to him? Or to his next victim?

Reminder: ask John to replicate all the symbols on the bodies in the correct measure and order. It might be needed some hard convincing. Addition: scheduled meeting, his house, 3 pm.

It wasn’t a day like any other when I met you. Or maybe it was, and that’s why I got so struck by it and now I am here playing it over and over through what my memory clung on so desperately. In my own experience, life was often similar to swimming in a lake. Those rich, dense lakes in the north of (illegible cancelled word) were my father used to bring us during summer. I still feel the pull, the draw down toward the abyss. It ashamed me, in a way, the fear that such a simple feeling aroused in my young mind, unaware nevertheless, that such a feeling would follow me through all my existence. It was a prophecy and, like most of the prophecies, was a riddle. I cradle in my heart the charm of those days, the mindless happiness. The foolish feeling of freedom. Little I knew that freedom would be taken away from me that soon, that the body that used to navigate me over the dense waters, helping me to fight the haul toward the unknown, would become my own cage. That day. Today. The day where I met you, the day I was afloat. The child gasping for air felt the wrench become a gentle push and now he is floating on his back over the scary waters of reality and malice. It gave me relief and it gave me terror, because since that very moment I knew that I would never be able to move on from the sight of you. From the feeling of your eyes lingering on me. From the smile you so easily shone upon me. From the whiff of imported perfume that hit me when you turned on side exploding that swan like neck. And nothing, not even my stern look, could dim that wave of hope that your sole presence washed over me. The abyss roars, calls me to a home of damnation and terror and curses my name and yet you repeated that hell-bound name of mine after me and I felt safe.

John told me so much about you, it feels like I have always known you.

The rope is gone from my neck, the guillotine won’t fall on me, I am spared, I am free.

I have read your latest article, I am thrilled to help with the case.

I am in disbelief.

Your voice.

Dr. Kreizler

How dare you? How dare you to come into my life, to appear, like a vision, mystical, in a way I despised at University when all those theology students talked about the divine. In this very moment I can’t recollect much of what you said, something about the case, about going with John at the obituary. It feels confusing, I feel overstimulated, my memory fails me, I am not sure anymore. I write these few lines and it is passed the hour of the witches and I wish, I demand, to never see you again, because life should never grant hope to a condemned man.

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