the way i can picture how i'd look shirtless post top surgery so vividly makes me feel both euphoric and depressed at once
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why is tellin someone you'd like to get to know them better and maybe go on a date or some such so fuckin hard
like "Hi, crush on you, sorry I'm so bad at this, I'll go throw myself into the sea now."
and it's even worse if it's just online. got me out here thinkin shit like "wow you reblog from me a lot I wonder if that means someday we can kiss"
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a 'lil rant-ish thingy
SO, IF you've been following my blog for the past 2-3 years, you know I went back to uni to get another degree.
From the beginning, I was hustling to manage to squeeze a 5 year Bachelor-Master program into 4 years. Not because I think I am super smart, but because I've already got a degree from which I could transfer a good number of credit points (CP), including a thesis. On top of that, I took double the classes from maths in my first year, except for the didactics and practical modules.
I am now officially in my fourth semester but after this semester I'll be taking a mere 9 CP to finish the BA degree (and I'm already collecting CP for the master's). Now this is where it gets tricky.
From the beginning, it was my plan to advance to the 2nd masters semester in the summer (so, a bit over half a year from now) and in that semester there this one big practical at school incl. seminars at uni.
Today I checked out the requirements for application and admission to that practical. According to one page it's ok to join in the summer, but in order to take part in the practical, one has to apply by Nov 15th. At that point, if you're still in the BA, you have to prove 174 CP (incl. thesis) of the 180 CP needed for the BA degree.
Now, if you read carefully, I am missing 9 CP. Which is 3 CP more than 6 CP. Which might be a bullet to my head while I'm in the home stretch. Which is the cause for my emotional roller coaster that was this day.
I am spiralling a litte bit and I am sure it will all work out in the end and I should probably just talk to someone in charge, but, yikes, bureaucracy is such a killjoy sometimes.
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I, a hearing person who likes subtitles just as a preference, shouldn't have to read a subtitle that's obvious nonsense, go back a couple seconds, and listen again in order to figure out what's going on. An accessibility feature should not be the most half-assed part of a professionally made production. Scripted media has absolutely no excuse for not having subtitles or having subtitles that aren't perfectly verbatim. Professional captioning services should be ashamed of the shoddy work that they put out. Captions should be treated as a part of the production, just like filming, editing, audio balancing, etc - and anything that releases with missing or bad captions should be seen as unfinished
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Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.
They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.
They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.
Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.
On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.
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Welcome to the Show
Hello, hello! I'm Ghoul(they/them) and I write fic, like a lot of fic. This is my Directory
I write in second person(you) so all of my fic can be read as x reader, and you can think of any callsigns/nicknames as your own. However, my fic is technically x oc, if that's not for you no problem! I don't include descriptions or names in any of my fics. MDNI
I do not give consent for my work to be used in ai, be that ai chats or ai writing. This is a hard boundary I will not budge on.
COD AUs
Cowboys
Fae
Demons
Ballet
Historic Aus
Sin Summer
Ghost!Ghost
Regency Au
Cyberpunk Au
The Ghost Distribution System
Professor Au
I want the Darlings
FAQ:
Can I write Fic with your OCs?
Yep! Just tag me in it if you post it.
Can I tell you about an OC I have for [insert au]?
Of course! OC talk is always open, but posting is contained to the morning.
Can I draw you OCs?
Yes. BUT I try to keep their descriptions vague so people can use them as Reader inserts, so I might not post/reblog it if you submit/post the art.
Do you take requests?
Sort of. If you have thoughts I'd love to hear them and if they inspire me I'll write something, but it might not be exactly what you requested. I tend to use asks as jumping off points rather than direct requests.
Do you cross post to anywhere else?
Not currently! If you see my fic elsewhere that isn't me. I don't give my consent to have my work reposted anywhere else.
Could you make a character AI for [insert character or au]?
No. I absolutely abhor ai and hope it crashes and burns before it does any more damage to art and creativity. Role-Play in a discord server like an adult.
Do you have a list of your OCs anywhere?
Yup. Here you go!
Ghoul's Hozier Bullshit
Pillow Princess Ghost
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