#Thanks to everyone who has ever published anything on Ao3 ever

[animatedtreewrites]

My Ao3 wrapped for this year. I decided last year to record everything I read, and this has some out of it. I have been making this for the past few days so I’m really glad it’s finally over!

#ao3 #archive of our own #enjoltaire #sterek #johnlock #harringrove #ik my ships are basic shush #the breakfast club #john bender x Brian Johnson #patrochilles #bad education #ao3 wrapped #ao3 wrapped template #I have bared my soul for this be kind or else I will cry #Thanks to everyone who has ever published anything on Ao3 ever #fanfic #fan fiction

[hongcherry]

pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc | 1

"After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol's obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?"

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst; Unrequited enemies to lovers (lol), strangers to lovers, college au

🍒 Warnings: [general tw (won't be repeated in the other chapters)] reader has she/her pronouns (referred to as girl, miss), reader dresses really feminine, reader is not nice, character outfit descriptors, parent/family issues (marital problems), bullying | [chapter tw] “joke” that implies prostitution in a negative way, near car accident (rear end), brief mention of death thru a joke

🍒 WC: 14.8k

🍒 Betas: Huge shout out to my bae, @love-strike, for being with me throughout this whole process, for listening to me whine, for helping me brainstorm majors for OT13, and for being so supportive! tysm 😭 And thank you to @playmetheclassics, @here4kpopfics, @angelwoozi for also beta'ing this series! ty for your time and for your sweet feedback! i really cherish everyone's efforts and brains hehe 🥰💖 i understand this was not an easy task to take on.

🍒 Author's Note: HAPPIEST BIRTHDAY TO THE LOML, CHOI SEUNGCHEOL!!!!!!!!! 🎂♥️ I started this fic in September 2022 and contemplated even publishing it multiple times. I think this will be the first fic I've worked on for so long and published. Also, this is the longest fic I've ever written, so that's exciting! It was supposed to be one long one-shot, but I ended up writing way too much for a one-shot LOL. I'm really proud of myself for powering through and not abandoning it, as I've done in the past. I also wrote this all in past tense and spontaneously decided to change it to present 😪 Anyway, please enjoy the start of this couple's journey 😁

also read here: AO3 | Wattpad

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter

When people say good students are those who arrive on time, you find it hard not to scoff. Professors should care more about how hard-working one is rather than if they show up on the dot.

Of course, you do try to make it on time, but can you really leave your house looking less than perfect? Absolutely not. Plus, the first fifteen minutes usually consist of professors getting set up for their classes, so you don’t feel like you are missing anything of importance.

Today is no different.

Ten minutes past the official class time, you stroll inside the room. Students are seated where they normally sit, some are on their phones, and others are trying to finish some last-minute homework assignments. It’s a fairly small class, and being in your senior year means everyone knows each other well. Although, most of the people in your class think ill of you and don’t talk to you.

At first, you thought it was a pity, but in the end, you realized you didn’t want to befriend those who would only talk shit behind your back. This is what you figured they did since they were never discreet when they exchanged whispers with their eyes glued to you. 

Luckily, you have at least one friend in the class. Quality over quantity, right?

“Right on time,” your friend, Dae, says with a sly smile when she spots you.

You chuckle and slide into the seat next to her. “Class started fifteen minutes ago.”

“It did, but you’re right on time for you,” she explains with a knowing grin.

“Guess I need to be more late from now on,” you tease as you take out your iPad.

The device is a holy grail to you. Majoring in fashion design means all your ideas and creations over the past few years are stored there. When you don’t have it, it’s stored in secret in your house. Maybe that’s a little excessive, but losing it would feel like losing a part of yourself. After all, art creations always include a part of the creator. The device almost feels like it’s an extension of yourself—something too personal for others to peek at.

Dae rolls her eyes. “Or you could come on time. That would be different.”

“Why would I? The first fifteen minutes are worthless,” you huff and open your notes.

“I wouldn’t quite say that,” Dae answers, sliding a piece of paper over. You glance down at it.

Prepare for the annual Senior Fashion Show! Students are to create their own fashion show with a theme of their choice. The show will be toward the end of the semester in the Main Theatre (official times and dates TBD). The project will count for 80% of your grade as this will require you to use all the skills you’ve acquired as a student. When creating your show, be sure to be mindful of the following…

“This was handed out at the beginning of class. Seems like we’re going to have to work with students from outside our department,” Dae comments after she gives you a few minutes to read everything.

So, this is it.

Every senior majoring in fashion design is required to participate. You attended every fashion show hosted during your time as a student here. You were always left in awe, motivated to be a student that would leave behind a name for themselves at the college. You want to inspire the next seniors just as the ones inspired you before.

While this assignment has your body giddy with excitement, there is a part you are dreading.

People skills are not your forte.

Not because you feel awkward talking to new people, but because the conversations always end unpleasantly. Sometimes with back-handed compliments, insults, or them trying to scold you. You hope that won’t be the case while recruiting volunteers.

“So, do we have the class period to start getting things together?” you question once you finish skimming through the instructions again. You’re responsible for a lot more elements than you anticipated. You need lighting, music, a theme, backstage helpers, hair and makeup artists, an advertiser, and most importantly, models. This is when you wish you had a large network. Though, every friend you tried to make didn’t end up lasting. Dae is the only person who has stuck by your side.

“Yup,” she replies. “We’ll be doing mini assignments throughout the semester to help us prepare. I think it’s just a way for Dr. Lim to give us grades so he doesn’t get in trouble.”

“Probably,” you sigh. You are already feeling stressed. Quickly, you scribble down a list of to-do’s in your notes.

“Do you have a theme in mind already?” Dae asks after a moment.

“No, do you?” you wonder.

Dae sits back in her chair, pen resting between her fingers. “I was thinking about something with space? Maybe my main colors will be blue, purple, and black.”

“Oh? Isn’t that what you’ve been doing, though? Don’t you want to try something different?”

Although the question is harmless, the tone of your voice must have rubbed Dae the wrong way. She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and then looks at you again.

“Think of it as branding, okay? Why does it bother you so much?” she wonders with a frown. Realizing your mistake, you inhale slowly.

“It doesn’t. I didn’t mean to sound rude. I’m sure your stage will do well,” you reply, forcing a small smile on your lips.

“No ‘sorry’?” Dae asks despite knowing it isn’t part of your favorite vocabulary.

You narrow your eyes at her. “Nope. Just don’t be so defensive next time.”

“You’re insufferable,” Dae answers. “One day, you will be sorry for your behavior.”

Shrugging, you say, “There’s always a chance, but maybe if the world wasn’t so insecure, saying sorry wouldn’t be so wanted.”

Dae exhales disapprovingly at your thought process, displeased with your reply. “Well, for now, maybe try to be more empathetic?”

“I have bigger things to worry about right now. For instance,” you start, a finger at the top of your to-do list, “I’ve got to find someone who can provide me with music.”

Fuck, it’s too loud in here.

The sounds of different instruments being played at once, all emitting different tunes, have a migraine bubbling in your head.

You make a beeline to the professor who is sitting in the corner. She is an older lady, evident by her wrinkles and gray hair. Yet, her features are soft, and the smile she gives you makes you feel at ease.

“Hello, miss, can I assist you?” she asks when you’re in hearing range.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt, but I was hoping you could help me with an assignment?” you wonder and offer her a kind smile, hoping she won’t shoo you away immediately.

“Ah, it’s alright. They’re just practicing for an upcoming assignment today. What is it you need, dear?”

“Who would you consider your best student? Is there a way you can get me in contact with them?”

The professor’s eyes widen slightly at the question. She didn’t expect that. Nevertheless, her gaze rises to scan the classroom.

“There,” she points as discreetly as she can. You follow her finger, which lands on a blonde-haired guy tuning his guitar. “Lee Jihoon. He’s the most talented student I’ve ever had.”

“This semester?” you ask out of curiosity.

The professor shakes her head. “Ever.”

You can’t stop the small disbelieving huff that escapes you. The best student ever? You aren’t sure how long she’s been teaching, but you doubt out of all her time, he is the best. He looks too young.

“Now, now, don’t judge a book by its cover,” she scolds gently. You have to force yourself not to roll your eyes at the phrase. You’ve heard it too many times that its meaning lost its effect on you.

“What makes him your best student?” you question, sight going back to the man who is oblivious to your stare. He sits next to another student who also has a guitar. They seem to be friends from the way they are laughing together.

“His work is versatile and very good. I’m positive he will be the perfect person for your project.” The way she speaks about him makes you believe her. There was no waver to her voice, and her eyes hold a fondness in them you know one can’t replicate if not genuine.

“How long until they have their assignment due?” you wonder, realizing you may have to wait until the class ends before you could talk to him.

The professor smiles. “I’ll let them have five more minutes so you can introduce yourself.”

Internally, you sigh in relief. You’re grateful you don’t have to wait.

“Thank you,” you say before strolling to the man.

As you near, his friend glances up. He’s mid-sentence when he spots you, eyes growing slightly at the sight of you. You’re used to getting looks like that. Your fashion is always dressier than the average college student's. People just aren’t used to it.

“Hi,” the brunette friend says. He has prince-like features, and you almost consider asking him to be one of your models. You give him a small grin out of politeness before turning to the whole reason you came over.

“Lee Jihoon?” you ask.

Jihoon’s mouth parts slightly in surprise. “Uh, y-yeah. Do I know you?”

“No. My name’s Yn. I have a project in a class and need someone to provide music for me. You won’t get paid, but any extra experience is always good, right?” you greet, not wanting to dance around the subject. After all, this is only the first of many on your to-do list.

“What major are you in?” he wonders, brows knitted in confusion.

“Fashion design,” you answer.

Jihoon is silent for a moment. “And how did you find me?”

This guy is more difficult than you wished. You just need him to say yes.

“I asked for the best student, and you were recommended. So, what do you say? Will you help me?”

Jihoon gives you a small smile, but something about it rubs you wrong. “Sorry, my plate is a little full right now—”

“Do you need money? I can give you some afterward.”

You try not to sound desperate. Lee Jihoon is not the only music major—this is obvious by the amount of noise you hear in the background.

But you never settle for less than the best.

You have been looking forward to this project since your college tour here. 

“It’s not that,” Jihoon chuckles awkwardly. “I have other assignments I have to practice for, but I’m sure there will be someone else to help you. There’s a lot of talented students her—”

“But they’re not the best,” you interrupt. What else can you offer him that will make him say yes?

“Well, being the best is subjective,” Jihoon counters, voice light so you know he doesn’t mean it rudely.

You open your mouth to bargain with him more, but his friend leans into his ear. The noise from the other instruments behind you makes it hard to hear what they are saying.

Patience is something you rarely have. The longer you stand there waiting, the more annoyed you get.

“Look, you have almost a full semester to get a song done by then. I’m sure you can find some tim—”

“Fine,” Jihoon grumbles as he shoves his friend away. “I’ll do it.”

“Oh,” you pause. You are fully prepared to go down the mental list of how helping you will help him in return. One that will be complete bullshit, but if it gets him to say yes, then so be it. Luckily, you don’t have to. 

“Great!” you say.

You aren’t going to give him time to back out, so you quickly retrieve a business card you had made from your purse. It’s easier to exchange contact information, and you never know when you may run into someone important. Being in an artistic field means competition. You always need to have an eye out for something, or someone, that will help you get your name out there.

“Here’s my number. Please contact me before the day ends.”

Jihoon takes the card and examines it. “Got it. What kind of music will you need?”

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ll let you know,” you reply. He nods in response.

“I look forward to hearing your music. I’ll talk to you later then,” you say.

You have half a heart to wish them both luck on their assignment, but part of you is a little petty that Jihoon put you through some trouble. Instead, you give them a wave before turning on your heel.

As you’re leaving, you hear a loud sigh followed by a laugh from behind you. 

“Shut up, Shua,” Jihoon groans before the professor calls everyone’s attention.

Music, check. Now, what’s next?

As you make your way down the hallway, you stumble across Dae. She is surrounded by two other male students, none of whom you know. You don’t plan to greet her since she seems busy, but the sound of your heels clicking against the tile catches her attention.

“Yn!” she calls out cheerfully.

You halt in your tracks, turning to see her smiling at you. She gestures for you to come over, so you do.

“Hey,” you say to her.

“How’s your project going?” she asks.

“I got someone to help me with music,” you reply, then glance behind her to see the two guys staring at you. Dae follows your gaze and makes a small “oh!”

“Is that all? Do you have anyone for advertising or graphics?” Dae wonders, her voice seemingly excited.

“I don’t,” you answer hesitantly. Her eagerness has you worried.

“Perfect!” she exclaims, then turns to the others. “This is Yejun and Jeonghan. They’re both advertising majors. Yejun agreed to help me with my project, but Jeonghan,” she pauses to address the man. He has blonde hair that goes past his eyes. His soft features are handsome and almost angelic. 

“Jeonghan, would you mind helping my friend with hers? She’s super talented.”

Jeonghan glances at you, but before he can say anything, you ask him, “What are your skills? Do you have some work I could see first?”

Jeonghan looks taken aback. “O-oh, I don’t have a portfolio yet, sorry.”

“Ah, that’s fine,” you say before looking at Dae. “Thanks for trying to help me, but I’ll find someone else.”

Dae’s eyes narrow at you. “Come on, Yn. Jeonghan is really good!”

“Didn’t you just meet him?” you question and try to stop the scoff that threatens to escape.

“Well, yes, but Yejun has been my friend for a while, and I’ve seen his work. Yejun and Jeonghan have worked together as well, and their creations are unique!”

You inhale deeply, eyes roaming from your friend to Jeonghan. He offers you a smile.

“What your friend said,” Jeonghan replies with a small chuckle.

“Trust me on this,” Dae says. “Jeonghan won’t disappoint you.”

You don’t feel at ease agreeing to someone blindly. Dae’s definition of “really good” could be different from yours. Although her work is good, you feel your standards are way above hers. You had planned to ask for the best student for each assigned task, so having been offered a random helper with no proof of their credentials is unnerving. 

Granted, you haven’t heard Jihoon’s work, but you were sold on the way the professor spoke about him. Dae, on the other hand, is not a professor and could be biased as Yejun is her friend. Though, you still have a lot more positions to fill, and you need to do so soon.

Sighing, “Fine. You can work with me.”

From the way you word your sentence, it’s almost as if Jeonghan is supposed to jump up and down with glee. He doesn’t.

You grab another business card from your purse and hand it to Jeonghan. He takes it slowly.

“Just so you know, I have the right to replace you with someone else if I see your work isn’t fit,” you warn as Jeonghan slips the card into his pocket.

His eyes lock on yours. “That won’t be necessary,” he answers, not bothered by your comment.

“Oh?” you wonder and quirk an eyebrow up.

“Hm. You also need graphics, right? I have a person for that as well,” Jeonghan says.

“I haven’t seen their work yet—”

“You’re not very trusting, huh?” Jeonghan observes with a laugh. You shift your weight on one hip, not liking the way he is trying to tell you about your personality when he doesn't know you.

“I just know what I want, and I won’t settle,” you answer sharply.

Dae huffs next to you and gives you a gentle shove, indicating you to ease up. That isn’t going to happen.

Jeonghan doesn’t reply and instead takes out his phone. His fingers dance around the screen for a minute before he turns the device for you to see. On the screen is an Instagram account with various posts of different art and graphic pieces. Your eyes drift to the username. by_xuminghao_o. His art is impressive and definitely not an amateur like you half expected.

“So, about not settling,” Jeonghan trails off, a hint of a cocky smirk on his lips.

“I expect you both to contact me before the day ends,” is all you respond with.

Jeonghan pockets his phone and nods. He seems content with your answer even though you don’t confess the art meets your standards.

“All good then?” Dae asks, glancing between you two.

“We’re good,” Jeonghan replies and gives you another smile of his—one you are starting to hate seeing. There is just something about it that seems like he knows more things than you in a cocky, condescending way.

Yejun glances at his watch and then nudges Jeonghan.

“Thanks, ladies, but we have a class to attend. Nice to meet you, Yn,” Yejun says.

You hum in response while turning away from them. Dae says her goodbyes, watching as they leave before putting her focus on you.

“Do you have to be so picky?” she sighs.

“As I said, I know what I want. I’ve waited to do this project for years. It has to be perfect,” you explain and pull out your iPad. You check off music and advertising from your to-do list. Graphics aren’t listed, but you figure it will be a nice addition.

“I understand, but—”

“Just focus on your project, and I’ll focus on mine, okay?” you interrupt. You don’t feel like hearing her lecture you for a second time today.

“Alright,” Dae answers. “I’ll see you around,” she says, walking away before you can say anything else.

With her back turned, you roll your eyes at her attitude. It has your mood lowering, and you conclude you’re done with human interaction for now. You carefully place your iPad back in your bag, then make a beeline to the parking lot, ready to go home to figure out a theme for your show.

Home is somewhere you don’t enjoy being.

It always has this melancholy cloud looming over you. You can never seem to get rid of it completely. Even on the good days, it lingers in the corner of the room, always threatening to float above you. You doubt it will ever dissipate.

Your back is against the headboard of your bed, your iPad resting against your legs that are pulled to your chest. The music playing is too low for your liking, but you know if it’s any louder, your father will scold you for the high volume. Sometimes you will raise it just to get him to talk to you. Though today is not one of those days. You want to be left alone for once, which isn't usually too hard to do unless your sister needs attention. Like now.

“Today is the last day. Pleaseeee, Yn!” your sister whines at the foot of your bed. Her small body is bouncing with desperation and eagerness.

Reluctantly, you flicker your gaze up at her. The slight scowl on your face doesn’t seem to faze her… Probably because she’s seen it so much.

“Can’t you see I’m busy?” you exasperate, gesturing to your iPad.

Seoah frowns. “When are you not? Come on! It’ll take, like, ten minutes. I’ve been looking forward to getting a Fallin’ Flower frap for months! You know it’s a seasonal drink.”

“Didn’t Dad say you couldn’t have any more sweets?” you say and peer down at your iPad again. You’re in the middle of brainstorming themes for your show. There are various words within bubbles, each connected with a line.

“I’ll just get a small,” she explains. When you don’t move, she walks around the bed to stand next to you. Her voice becomes softer, sadder. “You said you would take me. Dad can’t.”

“That was before I got assigned this project. It’s my—”

“Senior project that you’ve been looking forward to since your freshman year, yeah, I got it,” she responds, reciting what you’ve told her before.

You finally look at her once more. “I’ll take you for the next seasonal drinks, okay? They’re probably better anyway.”

“But I really want a Fallin’ Flower,” Seoah pouts.

“Next year,” you offer and return your attention to your homework.

“Yn—”

“Next year,” you repeat firmly without looking up.

Seoah pauses in her begging. You think she’s going to continue, but you hear the soft padding of her feet as she moves.

“Oh, Seoah?” you call out, glancing up.

She pauses by your door and looks up with some hope in her eyes.

“Don’t forget to shut the door all the way.”

“Right,” she mutters slowly, then leaves the room. You wait until you hear the door click close prior to getting back to work.

You sit on your bed the remainder of the day, only getting up to cook dinner for your father and sister. Your eyes feel strained and your body weak, but the sooner you pick a theme, the sooner you can get started. 

It’s days like these when your body is mentally and physically exhausted, that you miss your mom. You try not to think too much about her as it only makes the gloomy cloud above your head darker. 

Is she happier? Surely, she is. She is living her dream as a traveling journalist. Sometimes you will see her adventures if you peep at her social media. It’s self-torture to do so, but curiosity gets the best of you. You hope one day you’ll have the willpower to block all her accounts. 

At this point, you’re having the same conversation you have with yourself once a month. It never ends the way you want.

Inhaling deeply, you finish plating all the food before calling your family for dinner. While your father eats in his office, needing to continue his work, you and your sister eat in silence in the dining room.

Maybe one day things will change, but for now, you’ll have to settle with this.

You are about to knock on the door a second time when no one answers it. You have allotted only an hour for this meeting, so the longer you wait outside, the more you grow impatient. You have set mini-deadlines throughout the semester to ensure you will complete this assignment in a timely manner. You just hope your recruitees aren't going to slow you down.

Suddenly, the door is yanked open. Jeonghan stands on the other side, hair a little damp and a few wet spots on his shirt.

“Sorry about that,” he says hastily. “I thought I could shower quicker.”

“I told you eleven o’clock,” you scold. Jeonghan simply smiles.

“Never hurts to give people some wiggle room. Plus, aren’t you the early one?” Jeonghan leans back to view something. He looks at you after a few seconds. “It’s only three minutes past.”

“Early is on time,” you say as if that is an obvious life choice. Although you’re never really on time for classes, you reason that to be because the first fifteen minutes are a waste of time. This, on the other hand, is not. “Invite me in?”

Jeonghan moves aside and lets you enter. His apartment is tidy for the most part. It seems as if he had started to clean up but gave up toward the end.

“Where’s Minghao?” you wonder when you saw you were the only one here. He’s supposed to be here with Jeonghan, so you can all go over the advertising designs.

“He called and said he hit some traffic. Have a seat anywhere; I’m going to grab my laptop,” he instructs before jogging to another room. Shaking your head in disappointment, you glance around again.

Spotting his couch, you walk over and make yourself comfortable. You take out your iPad and open what you have so far—color ideas, font ideas, and a few mock-up fashion designs. It has been two weeks since you last saw Jeonghan. The majority of your tasks have already been assigned to people, but you still have to find a few more models.

“Alright, so, what’s the theme?” Jeonghan asks when he comes back. He sits down next to you, causing you to bounce slightly from his weight.

You angle your screen, so he can see it easier. “I decided on the four elements—water, ice, air, and earth. The title right now is Pinwheel.”

“This gives us multiple color options,” Jeonghan examines. “Maybe we could have five designs. One for each element and then one with all of them? That would give you a variety of exposure and make the audience feel they’re not looking at the same promo material every time.”

You sit still as you ponder his suggestion. “You don’t think people will get confused seeing different designs?”

“We can make it all tie in some way. You have your own logo, as I saw on your card. We can use that and the same fonts.”

“Okay,” you say slowly. “That sounds—”

A knock on the door stops you.

“Ah, that must be Minghao. Do you mind getting that? I’m going to get my notepad, so I can try to sketch some layouts.”

You nod, setting your iPad down next to his laptop, then walking to the entrance.

“You’re late,” you groan while you pull open the door.

“Oh? Am I?” the person says with a little playful smile on his lips.

Although you’ve never met Minghao, you have seen pictures of him on his Instagram. You expected to see a head of blue hair, but you are greeted with black. Instead of a narrow face, his is slightly wider. He wears an oversized white shirt, jeans, and a colorful necklace. He looks like every other college student. Sure, he’s more handsome than the average, but not by much. Behind him are two women and one man.

“Can I help you?” you exhale a disheartened sigh when you conclude it isn’t Minghao. Meaning, he’s even later than you wished for.

The guy chuckles. “I doubt it, but Jeonghan can. Is he here?”

His voice is slightly deep. You may have found him soothing to listen to if it wasn't for his irksome words.

“He’s busy right now. You can come back in an hour, though,” you instruct and start to close the door. You don’t need any distractions.

The man sticks his foot out to stop you, causing you to exhale annoyed when you can’t get rid of him. You open the door slightly again.

“Just tell him I’m here,” he says, his teasing tone not so visible anymore but still light enough to not sound too rude.

“And who are you?” you question apathetically.

“Jesus,” someone hisses behind him before shouting, “Jeonghan, come here!”

Your eyes gaze past the man to see a woman with short-length dark hair. She eyes you haughtily, hand on the man’s forearm as if she were to push him away. Though she never does. She takes in your attire, and you once again get a look of judgment at your choice of dress. Your white dress paired with a same-colored, opened button down and beaded chain around your hips is apparently not her style.

“What’s going on?” Jeonghan asks behind you. Reluctantly, you move aside so he can see. “Oh, Seungcheol! Right. One second. Come on in. I’ll get those papers for you.”

“Actually, do they need to come in? They’re not staying long,” you say quickly before any of them can move.

“Relax, princess, he’s just being friendly. You know, like when someone is kind, thoughtful, and considerate?” the girl questions as if you’re dumb and makes her way inside despite you standing close to the door. It forces you to move over. 

Her friends follow along. Three of them stand in the living room, while the second guy sits at the kitchen bar before pulling out his phone. You watch them with a fire inside your chest. Not only are Jeonghan and Minghao late, you now have to deal with this obstacle.

Just as you’re shutting the door, you see a glimpse of blue down the hall. Finally.

“You’re late,” you repeat, but to the correct person this time.

“I know, I’m sorry! Oh, are they helping too?” Minghao says, pausing at the entry when he sees the group of people inside.

“No. Get in,” you huff and point a finger in the apartment. Minghao enters without a fight.

“Hao!” the second girl exclaims with a smile.

Great. Do they all know each other?

“Hi, Hana,” Minghao greets with a gentle grin.

“What are you doing here?” Hana wonders.

“I’m helping Yn with her project,” he answers and gestures to you while you shut the door.

Hana looks your way, and you can see the distaste in her expression; however, she doesn’t say anything.

Jeonghan walks out of his room with a folder in his hand. “I hope this is what you need,” he tells the first man—Seungcheol, you presume.

Seungcheol smiles and takes it from him. He flips open the folder, doing a quick glance through the papers inside.

“Looks great,” he says. “Thanks for getting these for me.”

“Of course,” Jeonghan replies.

“Hannie, do you want to come to Shining Diamond with us this weekend?” the first girl asks, tilting her head in a way that appears as if she’s begging for a yes.

“Ah, this weekend?” he hesitates. “I have a test on Monday I was going to study for.”

“A few hours won’t hurt you,” she replies.

“Alright, Hajun, but only for an hour or so,” Jeonghan says with a not-so-stern voice.

“Great! Minghao, do you want to come, too?” Hajun asks.

Minghao shrugs. “I’ve got nothing else, so sure.”

Hajun grins widely. Her eyes go past Minghao to see you standing in the corner, your arms crossed and eyes staring daggers at everyone.

She doesn’t say anything, but her look tells you you aren’t invited. As if you are silently begging to join. The thought makes you scoff quietly.

“Cool. You all scheduled your weekends,” you start and walk back to the couch. You turn briefly to Seungcheol, who is eyeing you already. “And you got your things. Can we please continue?”

Your gaze shifts to Jeonghan at your question. He offers you an apologetic look before nodding.

“I’ll see you all this weekend. You can text me the time,” he says while walking to the door.

“We can decide that now,” Hana suggests.

“Or over text like Jeonghan said,” you interject. She narrows her eyes at you.

“Be patient. It’ll only take a few minutes,” she replies.

A few minutes, my ass.

“I’d rather you use those minutes to walk out the door.” You give her a faux smile.

“Have some respect,” Hajun scolds.

You laugh though you don’t find any of this humorous. “What a hypocrite. How about you respect people’s times?”

“I did tell Yn I’d help her,” Jeonghan cuts in sheepishly and opens the door to hint at them to leave. “I’ll text you all later, or you guys can come back in a bit.”

Seungcheol’s gaze lingers on yours as he walks toward the door. Your eyes catch on his as he makes his way into your line of sight. His stare has an unsettling feeling form in your stomach, and you contemplate asking what his problem is. Before you can, he turns to Jeonghan.

“Thanks again,” he says as he lifts the folder.

“No problem. Talk to you later,” Jeonghan replies.

All his friends have filed out except for the one male who hasn’t said a word. He glances at you. You expect to receive another jab about who knows what. Instead, he gestures at your body.

“Nice chains,” he compliments with a smile.

Your eyes widen slightly as you glance down briefly at your outfit. That was certainly unexpected. “Uh, thanks.”

“Come on, Vernon!” Hana yells from the doorway. Vernon gives you a thumbs up, which is uncanny given the situation, then follows his friends out the door.

Once they leave, you narrow your gaze at Jeonghan and Minghao. They’re quick to apologize again and start asking questions about your project before you can lecture them. Lucky for them, your hour is almost up, so there isn't enough time to do that anyway.

Weeks go by with you working nonstop on your project. Annoyingly, you also realize that the majority of the people you recruited to help all know each other. It usually isn’t something to be irritated by, but each time they run into each other, they usually end up making small talk that you have to break up. They can do that on their time, not yours. Even more frustrating is that this so-called Seungcheol and his groupies know them all as well. Their reactions to seeing you are always the same—ones of displeasure. Though the feeling is mutual.

You learn they are all business majors, except for Vernon. Well, he was a business major, but he plans to switch to something else. You can’t blame him. If all the business majors act revolting, you would leave that department as well.

Seungcheol… He isn’t as bad. 

You have only ever hung out with him by himself for less than five minutes. Those conversations spur when you’re both left alone after one of your “mutual friends,” because none of these people are your actual friends, abandon you both. The conversations are awkward and never hold any weight. He doesn’t throw snide remarks at you, but his presence still makes you uneasy with the possibility. You’re normally the first to leave because of that. Maybe if he didn’t have those obnoxious friends, you could tolerate him more. You can’t help but associate him with them though. You simply want to get away from them, even if that includes him. Not that you are craving his presence anyway. You barely know him and aren’t interested in changing that.

“Those are looking awesome so far!” Dae exclaims when she peers over your shoulder to see your sketches.

You smile at her and set your iPad down on the table. The weather outside is perfect, given the cool breezes in the heat. It eases your mind, and you feel more creative being in a new environment.

“Thanks, how are yours coming along?” you question and wait for her to angle her own iPad to you. On the screen are various designs, each with a hint of purple or blue.

“Those are neat,” you compliment.

“Yeah?” she says and beams at you. “What about this one? I think the shoulder looks a little weird.”

You reach over, using two fingers to zoom in on the screen to examine it.

“Maybe just lower this,” you gesture on the screen, careful as to not move the screen on accident. “You could take this part out too and make it asymmetrical.”

Dae hums, lips pursed in thought. “I’ll try it. I guess I won’t really know until it’s on someone.”

You nod in agreement before focusing on your designs again. After a while, Dae excuses herself from your homework session. She had planned to meet with one of her helpers. You bid her a quick goodbye.

Ten minutes pass when you see someone standing in front of your table, blocking your sunlight. Your eyes rise to see who it is.

“Hi,” Seungcheol greets.

You straighten your posture upon seeing him. He wears a basic navy suit that fits him well. To your surprise, it actually looks decent on him. Your eyes dart around him to see if any of his friends came.

“Just me this time,” he answers the question in your head.

“What is it you need?” you ask blankly.

“Must I need something?” he retorts.

You suppress the eye roll you want to give him. “Well, I’m sure you didn’t come here to tell me about your day.”

“I can if you want,” he responds, then to your utter dread, he sits down across from you. From the position he is sitting at, the breeze is blowing his hair forward and into his face. He raises a hand to push it back, but it’s no use.

“You can spare me. Tell me what you want and go,” you instruct. This is the first time he has approached you—and alone, for that matter. You don’t want to make it a regular thing.

“Always straight to the point,” he chuckles.

“I just don’t like my time being wasted,” you explain.

“So, I’m wasting your time now?” His eyebrow quirks up.

“Should I spell it out for you?” you scoff. It should be obvious that you don’t feel like talking to him.

“You can try, but do you know how to spell it?” he stares at you through the hair on his face. Even though you can’t see him clearly, you can tell he has a challenging gleam in his eyes.

“At this point, I think you just came to bother me,” you sulk.

He smirks at you. “I didn’t, but it is a little fun to see your feathers ruffled.”

“They’re perfectly content being unruffled.”

Seungcheol chuckles at your response. He pushes his hair back, but this time he rests his hand against his head, keeping his hair in place. His elbow is propped on the table while his other arm lays flat on the surface. 

All the times you have seen him, his hair has covered part of his forehead. Now, it’s all exposed, and you feel you can see him. Maybe it’s because he’s donning a suit for once, but he looks almost… handsome like this—dressed formally with a small glint in his eyes and his lips spread in a gentle smile.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he replies. “I think you need to have more fun.”

Well, he was handsome until he opened his mouth.

“I don’t need a stranger telling me how to live my life,” you say.

“A stranger? I would think we’re at least acquaintances,” he frowns.

“You only see me because your friends are helping me. Speaking of, is that why you’re here? Does it have anything to do with one of them?”

Seungcheol bites his bottom lip, and you can’t stop your eyes from lowering to his mouth.

“Maybe,” he answers slowly. Your eyes snap back to his when he speaks. He gives you a knowing smile that has you shifting in your seat. You had only looked at his lips because he brought attention to them. Nothing more.

“Are we playing twenty questions?” you groan, finally unleashing the eye roll you have been trying not to do.

“We can,” Seungcheol says with a shrug. “You asked three already—more if you start from the time I sat down.”

Exhaling a deep breath, you put your forehead on the hand that’s propped on the table. The conversation is slowly draining your energy. The need to be alone becomes stronger with each second.

“Seungcheol,” you warn. You are not about to play a guessing game with this man. “Please.”

“Oh, so that word is in your vocabulary.”

“Yes. Would you like me to use it in a sentence?” you question, pitch raised as if you’re talking to a toddler. You lift your head to glare at him.

“Sure,” he smirks and leans forward. He still holds his hair back and this time, you can really see the way he is goading you.

“Please fuck off,” you grin widely. Your head tilts to the side as you push your arms together to act overly cute.

“Please make me,” he counters. The smirk he wears is still plastered on his lips.

“If we weren’t in public, I would,” you say, voice returning to normal as you relax your body—the cute act over.

“Oh? How?” he chuckles. From the way he looks at you, you know his mind has gone elsewhere.

You push at the arm that is stretched across the table. “Because I would rather not get caught for murder, you pervert.”

Seungcheol laughs and sits back, letting his hair fall back into his eyes. It’s the first time you notice he has dimples. Your first impression is that they are cute, but you quickly recall who they belonged to and shove that thought from your mind.

“Seokmin wanted to let you know he lost your card,” he finally discloses. “Asked if you could give him another.”

“If he lost a simple card, is he really reliable?” you sigh as you grab another from your purse.

“The good news is those stage lights are so big, he won’t be able to lose those,” he says, taking the card from your hand.

“Thankfully,” you mutter. “I hope you’re better than Seokmin at not losing things.”

“I’ll get this to him, don’t worry,” he replies and puts the card in his suit jacket. You want to ask why he is wearing that, but that will mean you will prolong this conversation. Fortunately for you, he starts to stand up before you succumb to the temptation.

“Thanks for the talk,” he says as if you had a choice. “I’ll see you around.”

You would have doubted that, but you know that won’t be true.

The second time Seungcheol approaches you by himself is a few days later when he catches you exiting a building he is approaching.

“Don’t tell me someone else lost my card as well,” you say after he calls your name. You readjust your bag on your shoulder as you wait for his response.

“About that,” he starts sheepishly.

You put your weight on one hip and cross your arms, and set your mouth in a straight line. You wait for him to tell you who is the perpetrator.

“I may have left your card in my suit jacket when I washed it.”

Well, that explains why you haven’t received a message from Seokmin yet.

“Seriously, Seungcheol?” you exasperate.

“I didn’t do it on purpose!” he says, lips pouting and eyebrows angled.

Shaking your head, you retrieve another card. You make a mental note to restock later as you are running out.

Seungcheol reaches out to grab it from you, but you quickly pull back.

“Put this in your bag,” you instruct. 

You slowly give him the card and watch as he slings his bag around to his front. He makes a show of unzipping one of the front pockets and sliding it inside.

“Done,” he says, acting like he should be rewarded for doing as he was told.

“Good. Is that all?” you wonder. You’ve just finished your last class of the day, and all you want to do is climb into bed.

“Yes.”

Seeing no need to continue the conversation, you start walking in the direction of the parking lot.

“Great. Bye, Seungcheol,” you say over your shoulder.

“Hey, wait,” he says quickly, walking briskly to be by your side. “We’re going in the same direction.”

You peer up at him momentarily. “That doesn’t mean we have to walk together.”

“You said before we’re strangers. This would help us not be that anymore,” he shrugs casually.

“I never said I wanted that,” you reply flatly.

“It might benefit us since we’ll have to see each other a lot.”

“Is that so?” you sigh sadly.

Seungcheol smiles at you before shoving his hands in his pockets. “You did ask my friends to help you.”

“Well, if I knew you were a package deal, I wouldn’t have.”

“Come on. I’m not that bad.”

Sighing, you slow your steps to look at him better. He stops next to you, awaiting your response. His gaze is hopeful, but you’re not sure why.

“I’ll agree if you leave me alone,” you finally say.

Seungcheol’s lips dip in a frown. “I’ll get you to admit it one day.”

He starts to walk again before you can reply. Now is your chance to let him get a few feet from you. You have the opportunity to finally end this conversation you’ve been dreading. Though, for some strange reason, your feet quickly move on their own accord.

Seungcheol’s steps are small, and you catch up with him easily. Neither of you says a word, but you can see a hint of a smile on his lips.

Instead of parting ways once you reach the parking lot, he follows you to your car. Something about it being dangerous for you to walk to it alone, even though it’s light out.

“Yn?” he says to catch your attention when you open your door. You turn and give a small “hm?” in response.

“My friends and I plan to go to this poetry lounge in two weeks. Would you want to come?” he asks. You aren’t sure why he appears to be anxious.

The shock you feel must be evident on your face because Seungcheol’s apprehensive expression relaxes into a gentle smile.

“Business friends or our ‘mutual ones’?” The idea doesn't sound so bad if you are hanging out with the people who are helping you. Although you have your issues with them, they aren’t that bad to be around if you’re being honest.

“Business.”

That’s not what you want to hear.

“Do your friends know you’re asking me this?”

Seungcheol shakes his head. “No, but I don’t need their permission. What do you say?”

You can’t recall being invited to a night out with someone other than Dae. If you were to go out without Dae, it would be with your family or for a class assignment. To be invited to a place by Seungcheol, out of all people, catches you off guard.

Despite having an opportunity for a different change of pace, you answer, “No.”

“No?” he asks, perplexed.

“Your friends don’t like me, Seungcheol,” you explain matter-of-factly through a sigh, leaning against your open door.

“They just like to tease you. I’ll talk to them before,” he explains. 

Tease is a funny way to describe it, you think.

“I don’t need you fighting my battles,” you answer, referring to the latter part of his reply.

“Still. I want you to enjoy yourself. You’ve probably been glued to that project of yours. Step away for a bit,” he reasons.

He isn’t wrong. Your focus has solely been on the project. Of course, you have other classes, but you aren’t putting as much effort into them as you are this one.

“I’ll pick you up and pay for any expenses,” he offers. The more he talks, the more taken aback you are. You figured he’d drop the offer once you rejected him. From every interaction you’ve had with these “friends,” it never ends well. You doubt this will be any different. Regardless, something in you feels a little… honored he is so adamant about getting you to come.

Thus, hesitantly, “Fine.”

Seungcheol’s face breaks out in a grin. “Okay. I can give you my number, so you can text me your address.”

He starts to pull out his phone, but you stop him.

“No need,” you say. At Seungcheol’s confused expression, you continued with a faint smile, “You have my card.”

His mouth opens briefly in realization before the corners are pulled up.

“One step ahead, I see,” he teases, pulling it out to inspect it as if confirming your number is there. You suppose he may think you’re lying to get out of going.

“I’ll text you then,” he concludes and places the card back.

“Alright,” you say, shifting your weight. You aren’t sure if he wants to say anything else. Why are you giving him the time to? You have already given him enough of it.

Sensing your readiness to leave, he waves as he slowly takes steps backward. “Drive safely, Yn.”

“You too, Seungcheol.”

You climb into your car’s seat, turn on the engine, and watch as he makes his way through the maze of cars until he is out of sight.

That Friday comes sooner than you would’ve liked.

Throughout the times you had met with your “friends,” you had bumped into Seungcheol one-third of the time. Sometimes, you were left alone with him again. Each interaction you had with him became easier the more you talked to him. 

Dare you to admit; his presence wasn’t actually teeth-gritting anymore? At least when he was alone, you didn’t have to deal with his business friends. Despite him not usually laughing at their jokes, he never really stepped in to stop them teasing you at first. Maybe only a few times when he felt things got too heated. He wasn’t your best friend, but part of you did hope he would’ve said something. 

Each time he didn’t, you felt your disappointment rise. He apologized on their behalf constantly, but his apology meant nothing when they kept insulting you. However, lately, he has been stepping in sooner. Although you didn’t want him fighting your battles initially, some things you couldn’t do alone. One thing you and his business friends had in common was that no one really knew where the sudden change of attitude came from. For once, you didn’t complain, though.

You’re tempted to cancel this outing, but talking to Seungcheol a few days ago made you realize he was a little more excited than he was letting on. The reason is unknown to you—maybe he really likes poetry lounges—but you’d feel slightly guilty if you ditch last minute.

It’s not like you haven’t been out on a Friday night with people, yet your heart is beating rapidly in your chest. You have changed about six times, exchanging your accessories with each outfit. Normally, you would dress up more, but these aren’t your friends you’re about to hang out with. They are Seungcheol’s—business majors who think skirts more than two inches above the knees mean you’re a slut. Though, you can’t figure out why that matters. You never dress with the thoughts of others. If you want to wear something that day, even if it’s “over-the-top” for some, you wear it. So, why are you in such a fashion dilemma now?

In the end, you settle for a simple, spaghetti-strapped red dress that is slightly bunched on the sides with strings that are tied in bows. You pair it with a small, heart-shaped purse and white heels. There isn’t any bling in your outfit, which is unusual for you. The accessories you wear are minimal and small. They are a matching cherry set you were gifted by your mother on your 12th birthday. Although it’s been years since you received them, they’re still wearable and delicate enough not to call much attention—unlike some of your other accessories. 

You reach for a white fur jacket only to stop when your fingers graze it. Your eyes travel to yourself in the mirror as you debate on wearing it. The jacket will be too much, you conclude.

The buzzing of your phone catches your attention. It’s Seungcheol telling you he’s five minutes away. After stuffing your phone in your purse, you quickly apply red lipstick and toss it in your purse for later touch-ups.

When your phone buzzes again, you hurry to your front door. Your family is home, and you don’t want Seungcheol to meet them. Life at home isn’t ideal, and the only person who has a hint of what is going on is Dae. You doubt Seungcheol will find that out from one quick meeting, but you don’t want to risk it.

You throw your door open, ready to meet him at his car. Instead, he stands in front of you with a hand raised. He takes a step back in surprise. His eyes glide down your body quickly, but you’re too concerned about your family coming to notice.

“Oh, hey,” he greets. “I was just about to knock.”

Before any of your family can intervene, you close the door and start your way down the porch steps. Seungcheol follows you.

“You didn’t have to. I can make my way to your car by myself,” you answer. Although you’ve never been in his car before, you’ve seen it around. Plus, it’s the only unknown vehicle near your home.

You stand next to the passenger door and wait for him to unlock it, arms wrapped around your body when the chilly weather hits you.

“You sure you don’t want a jacket?” he asks when he notices you didn’t bring one.

“It didn’t go with my outfit,” you explain. It’s a lie. The coat did go with your fit, but you didn’t feel like disclosing the fashion crisis you had gone through.

Seungcheol chuckles. “So, you’re going to freeze instead?”

“It’s not that cold,” you lie again.

“It’ll get colder later, though,” he explains and comes closer to you. You step aside when he is a few inches from you. You press your arms tighter around you, eyes averting from his because of his close proximity. The small distance has you wanting to squirm away, but your feet can’t move. He peers at you with a small smile while he reaches behind you.

“My lady,” he murmurs when he pulls the door open and gestures for you to get inside.

“How chivalrous,” you reply after you force your nervousness away. You carefully slide inside his car, situating yourself comfortably in the seat.

Seungcheol waits to ensure you have all your limbs inside before shutting the door. As he walks around to the other side, your eyes scan his car. The seats are leather, and the interior has higher tech than you thought it would. It is a nice car—not overly luxurious, but enough to show it isn’t cheap. It makes you wonder how much it costs.

“You warm enough?” Seungcheol questions after he gets in and buckles.

“Yeah,” you reply quietly, hands resting awkwardly in your lap. The heat from the vents aids in your goosebumps disappearing.

Your mind is already wondering what to expect tonight. You know his friends aren’t fond of you. At least most of them. That guy, Vernon, seems nice enough. He is the quiet one in the group; however, you did notice he has his own quirks that make him unique. You foresee yourself hanging out with him most tonight. But even then, you don’t feel too great about going.

The longer you sit in Seungcheol’s car, the more you regret agreeing to this.

He stares at you for a moment; brows knitted together slightly. You feel uncanny acting so meek, and Seungcheol can't help but notice.

Silence consumes the small area for a few seconds until Seungcheol says, “Seatbelt.”

You look at him confused, then realize he is talking to you. Of course he is, who else?

“Right,” you mumble, quickly pulling the belt over your body.

“You don’t have to come, you know?” he says with one hand on the steering wheel while the other is on the gear stick.

You sigh and gesture to the road ahead. “Let’s just get going. I’ve got stuff to do after.”

It isn’t completely a lie. You still have to work on bringing your designs to life for the show, but it isn’t like you are behind schedule that you need to do that tonight. You just know you might actually back out if you ponder on leaving more.

Seungcheol bites his bottom lip, averting his focus to the road. He doesn’t reply and obliges to your request by shifting the car into drive.

During the ride, your gaze drifts to Seungcheol. He is relaxed in his seat. One arm stretches to hold the wheel while his other rests on his thigh. One which is clad in a pair of light-washed jeans with a black belt between the jean loops. He wears a white shirt tucked in and a black jacket.

You peer forward slightly to read what his shirt says. Propriety of Balenciaga? The Balenciaga? You don’t think he’s wealthy enough to afford one of those shirts. Perhaps it was a gift or a knock-off brand? Maybe he thrifted it… Though, Seungcheol doesn’t seem like the thrifting type.

“Do you need this?” he asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. He’s holding his jacket open to show you what he means. You must’ve been staring too much.

“No, I’m okay,” you say and turn your attention away quickly. “I just didn’t realize you wore glasses.”

Although the comment is true, you need something to say before he questions why you truly are staring at him. You had noticed the spectacles earlier but didn’t feel like mentioning them.

Seungcheol laughs lightly, “Actually, I don’t. I just thought I’d try to improve my fashion. What do you say, did it work?”

He glances at you after stopping at a traffic light; his mouth quirks up in a teasing smile. You turn toward him and scan his face quickly. They do look good on him, but you aren’t going to tell him that.

“They certainly did something, but whether that effect is good or bad is a secret,” you reply, looking away again.

“I’ll take that as you not wanting to admit they look nice on me,” Seungcheol says and continues driving at the green light.

“I think they’d look better on someone else,” you answer. Though, you don’t believe what you said. Something about the glasses on him has you wanting to stare at him more. They fit his face well and make him appear more attractive. You don’t want to sit on that thought for much longer.

“Is that so? Here,” he says, pulling them off his face. The glasses come into your view, and you stare at him, puzzled. 

When you don’t take them, he adds, “They won’t bite.”

You roll your eyes at his comment and finally grab them from his grasp. You pull down his sun visor to look at yourself. After sliding on the spectacles, you turn your head from side to side to see the different angles.

“I think I was right. They do look better on someone else,” you tease and face him as you shut the visor. Seungcheol turns to you at your reply.

His eyes wander across your face, a hint of a smile appearing on his lips.

“Maybe I’ll have to agree with you this one time,” he says. His stare lingers on yours so much that it has you shifting in your seat. When you avert your gaze, your eyes widen.

“Cheol!” you shout as he was about to rear-end another car. Instinctively, he shoots an arm out across your chest that has your back pressing firmly against the seat. The sudden act causes you to reach up and grab onto his arm tightly.

The car screeches as it comes to a sudden halt. Luckily in time to not hit the other car.

You both sit still, breathing intensified at the near accident. After a few seconds, Seungcheol retracts his arm. It’s then you realize you’re still holding onto him. Your eyes dart to his forearm and frown when you see small crescent shapes indented in his skin.

“Sorry,” you say sheepishly.

Seungcheol’s focus is ahead of him but glances at you in confusion at your apology. “What?”

You quickly gesture to his forearm. When he sees the marks, he rubs a hand over them absentmindedly. “It’s fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Are you?” you reply, heart rate slowing down to normal.

“I’m alright. Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t make you play dress up in the car.”

“No, it was my fault.”

Seungcheol eases on the gas pedal when the light turns green, keeping a safe distance from the car in front. He remains quiet for a while to ensure you are both safe.

“Are you sure you’re okay? First, you apologize, and now something is your fault?” he jokes.

You don’t remember what you said a few minutes ago, so it takes a while for you to comprehend what he is saying. “Shut up,” is all you can respond with in the end.

Seungcheol laughs but doesn’t pester you about it any longer.

“Oh, you can take these back,” you say and tug off the reason for almost hitting another car.

“Thanks,” he mumbles as he slides the glasses back on his face.

You nestle yourself back in the seat again and glance out the window. As the buildings pass, it dawns on you that you’ve never called him Cheol. The thought of using a nickname for him has your body tingle with an unknown feeling. It’s strange. You aren’t the first to call him that, but you aren’t that close to him to start using nicknames. Annoyingly, you spend the remainder of the car ride fretting about how he felt toward you shortening his name. 

Did he even notice? If he did, did he like it? Had you crossed a line?

When he parks, you become acutely aware of everyone’s attire. Many wear jeans or tights with a plain shirt and jacket. A few have on skirts or dresses, but they are more t-shirt dresses or plain skater skirts, if anything. Plus, they are accompanied by tights because of the weather. No one has as much skin showing as you do.

The sinking feeling of not belonging consumes you. You can’t remember the last time you felt this way, and that alone has you questioning yourself even more.

“I’m too dressed for this, aren’t I?” you think out loud.

Seungcheol turns off the car, eyes raking your body again. Though this time, you’re aware of it. You tug down the bottom of your dress at his stare. It’s not like it’s predatory, but it still has your nerves skyrocketing.

“Since when did you care about what others thought of your outfit?” he wonders. The question has you sighing, momentarily closing your eyes as you remind yourself you dress for you, not for others’ approval.

“Right,” you swallow harshly and sling your purse over your shoulder—mentally throwing away the negative thoughts too. “Let’s just go.”

With that, you open his car door and step out.

“Yn wait—” you hear Seungcheol call out right as you shut the door.

Your hair is immediately pushed from your face as the wind blows past. It makes your body shiver, and for a split second, you wish you took up Seungcheol’s offer to grab a jacket when you were at your house.

Seungcheol’s car beeps as it locks before he stands in front of you. His broad body blocks the wind, and you feel your own ease from feeling a tad warmer.

“I’m sorry if that came off rude,” he apologizes softly. “I think you look great.”

You look at him, face void of emotion. You don’t believe him, but you don’t want to argue. At least not standing in this weather. 

“Okay,” you reply. “We need to go meet your friends.”

You take a step forward, thinking it will get him to start walking toward the building, but he doesn’t budge. You only decrease the distance between you two.

“I mean it,” he whispers.

Goosebumps are forming on your exposed skin the longer you stay out. You blame the cold weather for them, but something in your chest tightens at the way Seungcheol is speaking to you.

“I think red is your color,” he pauses. “You should wear it more, Cherry.”

Your head tilts at his last word. “Cherry?”

The corner of his mouth raises at hearing it from your lips. Slowly, he brings a hand to your face. You stand still as you stare at him with wide eyes. His hand brushes past your cheek before he grazes his fingertips along your ear. 

“It suits you,” he murmurs, eyes moving away from yours. 

You follow his gaze and realize he has been looking at your cherry-charmed earrings. His eyes then flicker to the matching cherry-charmed necklace resting below your bare collarbones. You’re not sure if he means the color suits you or if the nickname he just made suits you. Either way, you’re surprised at his words.

Suddenly, the weather doesn't feel as chilly anymore. Your body heats quickly at his comment, or maybe it’s from how close he is to you. Nevertheless, you need to distract yourself from this warm, odd feeling bubbling in your chest.

You clear your throat and step back. His hand lowers steadily.

“I’ll think about it,” you reply more confidently and clearly.

Seungcheol takes the hint and moves aside, hands stuffed in his jeans pockets. He nods his head in the direction of the building, and you start walking toward it. Your pace is slightly faster than his, but you don’t mind not walking next to him. If anything, you need distance from him anyway.

The moment you open the door to the lounge, the heat from inside greets you in full force. You step inside and are welcomed by a worker. He is young, maybe a few years younger than you. He gives you a friendly smile.

“Hi, are you wanting to be seated, or are you with a group already?”

“With a group,” you reply. The worker nods.

“Do you need help locating them?”

You shake your head as the jingle of the door opening sounds behind you. Seungcheol stops behind you. His hand comes to hover over your lower back, not really touching you, but close enough to feel the heat radiate from his hand onto your skin. It has you shuffling away.

“They’re over there,” he says. You peer up to see where he is gesturing. Fair enough, you see his friends at a table toward the back of the building. There are five of them, all smiling at each other. You can spot a few familiar faces—one of them being Vernon. You feel a little at ease knowing he made it here.

“Thanks,” you murmur to the worker before making your way to the table. The closer you get to the table, the slower your steps become. You’re used to keeping your chin high in situations you aren’t completely comfortable in. The whole “fake it until you make it” is on repeat in your head.

Yet the saying is not encouraging you much right now.

“You’re not mad at me, are you?” Seungcheol asks when he catches up to you. You don’t realize you had stopped a few feet from the table.

“No,” you say. You aren’t mad at him; you just need some space from him for now. You don’t like how you aren’t in control of your emotions when you’re around him. “I’m going to freshen up in the bathroom.”

Seungcheol eyes you for a second before nodding. You make your way to the bathroom, but right before you enter, you can hear the welcoming echoes coming from his table of friends. All of them sound cheerful and excited to see him. You don’t expect any of them to look forward to your presence, yet you feel a little disappointed when no one brings up your name—in a positive way.

After using the restroom and washing your hands, you stand in front of the mirror with your hands lingering under the warm water. Your eyes roam your face and body, taking in your appearance. Compared to your normal fashion, you really did dress down. You sigh when you realize you’re circling back to the same issue.

You retract your hands from the faucet and grab a few towels to dry them.

It doesn’t matter if you’re overly dressed. You usually are and don’t care. You look great. You should feel confident in your fit. 

You gently tug the dress down before turning in front of the mirror.

You look fine. You look nice.

As you reapply your lipstick, you keep repeating compliments and reassuring phrases in your head. 

They’re going to look at you funny. You are going to ignore them.

“That’s right,” you sigh to yourself as you toss the lipstick back into your purse. 

Suddenly, your phone starts to vibrate. You pull it out to see Dae’s name appear across the top. You eagerly answer her call.

“Hey babe,” Dae’s voice comes from the other line. “How’s it going?”

“I’m ready to go home,” you say with a small huff.

“Damn, that horrible? Is he treating you badly?” Dae questions. You had told her about Seungcheol’s invitation when you got home that day. She was shocked, but ultimately supportive of you going.

You shake your head despite her not being able to see you. “No, he’s been fine. I just,” you pause. Although you have your ups and downs with Dae, she has stayed with you when no one else has. You don’t disclose your troubles often, wanting people to not see that side of you, but you’re feeling too low that you can’t stop the confession from coming out.

“I’m way overdressed for this place. Everyone’s in jeans or tights. I don’t belong here,” you say.

Dae sighs sadly. “Jeans are boring. I think I only own a pair,” she answers, trying to make you smile. “Just remember, if you were to die right now, would you want your last outfit to be something boring?”

“No,” you answer slowly.

“Exactly. These are people who are used to looking plain. They’re probably jealous you’re outdressing them. Don’t let them get to you, Yn. I’m sure you look beautiful.”

Your shoulders ease at her words. “Thanks, Dae.”

“No need. If they had the talent to dress themselves better, they would.”

You let her words sink in, but the reassurance doesn’t last long.

“I shouldn’t have come,” you say, beginning to pace the small area in the bathroom.

“It’s good for you to be around people from outside our department. It’ll make you more open-minded,” she encourages. “Plus, Seungcheol isn’t as bad as he seemed, huh?”

There is a teasing tone to her voice that you don’t like.

“One outing with him doesn’t mean he’s my friend,” you argue.

Dae giggles. “No, but it’s a start. Do you like him?”

“No!” you answer quickly.

“I was just asking in general. Not ‘like’ as in crushing on him,” she explains nonchalantly, but you can hear her smile.

“He’s,” you pause as you try to think of a word to describe him, “he’s been alright.”

“Well, I better let you get back to him then. I just wanted to check in,” Dae answers.

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” you say.

“Remember, you don’t need their approval. You never have, and you never will. People want the confidence you have.”

“I’m not feeling too confident right now,” you mumble.

“That’s because you’re overthinking. Chin up, okay?”

Sighing, you reply. “Okay.”

“Good. Talk to you later!”

“Yeah,” you say before hanging up.

Taking one last look at yourself, you roll your shoulders back and exit the bathroom.

Seungcheol is sitting in the middle of Hajun and someone you don’t know. His eyes lift to meet yours when he hears the sound of your heels.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks. 

Nodding, your eyes roam for a spot to sit.

“You knew you were just going to a poetry lounge, right? Not the runway,” Hajun comments with a small scoff.

Your eyes move to look at her, and you quirk an eyebrow. She wears leggings with a graphic tee. Her discarded jacket is slung over the back of her chair. “Are you sure you know that, as well? Or did you think you were just going back to your bed?”

“This is how normal people dress,” she replies.

“Relax, Hajun,” a voice you don’t know sounds. You direct your attention to them. 

The guy has black hair that is parted on the side to expose his forehead. His eyes are narrow, and even though he has a soft appearance now, you’re sure his gaze can be fierce when needed. 

“People don’t need to dress up for special occasions,” he says.

You’re taken aback by his comment. Seungcheol’s friends have always questioned your wardrobe, so for this new “friend” to not agree with Hajun is surprising. 

“No, they don’t, but you gotta’ admit she’s a little overdone huh, Soonyoung?” Hajun replies.

“Hajun,” Seungcheol interjects, giving her a pointed look.

“I understand not everyone knows how to dress. It’s okay, though. I can offer my services if you need some help,” you comment, half tempted to reach in your bag to get a business card. Although you aren’t on campus, you never know when you’ll run into someone who will make a good connection, so you keep them with you wherever you go.

“Services?” Hajun laughs and rests her crossed arms on the table. “And what ‘services’ are you offering? Because from the looks of it, I can tell exactly what you offer. Sorry, I’m not interested.”

Her eyes roam your body once more, indicating that the way you are dressed, means your services consist of paying to be with people in bed.

“I don’t think those services would help you anyway. Your rotting attitude is enough to repel anyone. Though I guess some people are willing to lower their standards when they’re desperate,” you counter.

“You’re such a—” she starts.

“Can we talk?” Seungcheol asks Hajun quickly, but he doesn’t give her the option to answer because he takes her hand and pulls her away from the group.

The table is silent for a few seconds before Soonyoung speaks up again.

“Don’t pay any mind to her. It’s nice to meet you. You must be Yn?” He smiles at you, slightly bowing at you.

“Correct,” you say, trying to not show how irritated you feel.

“Come sit,” he offers, pulling up a chair so you’re sat between him and Vernon. You thank him before sitting in the chair. You sit your purse in your lap as conversations begin to spark again.

Their voices become background noise as your gaze drifts to Seungcheol and Hajun in the corner. They stand close to each other and are in a deep conversation—clearly about you. Seungcheol has his back to you, so you can’t see his expression, but you can see Hajun’s. Her lips are in a frown, her expression not as sassy as before. 

Though her pouting seems forced, her bottom lip a little too far stuck out. Soon enough, she rolls her eyes, an expression similar to how it was earlier. Her eyes then move from him to you over his shoulder. When she catches your gaze, she smiles and raises a challenging eyebrow. However, her gaze doesn’t last long because Seungcheol’s hand comes up and guides her eyes back to him. Even though his hand isn’t touching her completely, she leans into his touch. The act has you stilling.

“Yn?” Vernon questions, tearing you from your thoughts. You don’t realize you’re clutching your purse until your focus goes to Vernon. You ease your grip and raise an eyebrow.

“Soonyoung was asking what your major was,” Vernon explains.

“Oh,” you say, glancing around the table. It appears the others are in their own conversation.

You look at the man to your left. He gives you a reassuring smile that tells you he is patient. “I’m studying fashion design. Are you in business, too?”

Soonyoung shakes his head with a laugh. “I could never. I’m a dance major.”

“Wow, that sounds nice,” you say. “Aren’t your career choices limited with that, though?”

“A little,” Soonyoung replies honestly. He doesn’t seem offended by the question. Maybe he gets it a lot. “But it makes me happy. I can always teach or maybe even become a dancer in a well-known group.”

You hum, understanding his words.

“Isn’t fashion design limited, too?” Vernon asks.

“Clothes are everywhere. I can do a lot with it.”

“But not everyone will wear your clothes,” Hana says, having finally heard your discussion.

“There will always be someone,” you argue, confident in your work. It may be a slow start, but you believe in your designs.

She laughs. “Who? Your mother?”

Your eyes narrow at the mention of your mom, and Hana is quick to notice the change in attitude. Instead of letting go of the topic, she continues.

“Ooh, trouble at home? See? I knew the ‘Great Yn’ isn’t as perfect as she seems,” Hana says. What makes her think you are so “great” is unknown to you, but you aren’t surprised to guess people have made up a persona for you. 

“Stop, Hana,” Vernon says, but it has no effect.

“Oh, so we were right?” Hajun’s voice comes from above. You glance up to see she and Seungcheol have returned. It appears their little chat did nothing to keep Hajun from being a bitch.

“Seems so,” Hana says with a smile. “Care to share with the class what kind of mommy issues you have?”

���No wonder she dresses like that,” Doyun, another one of Seungcheol’s alleged friends, adds. “She’s not getting attention at home. I guess Daddy isn’t there either?”

“That’s enough,” Seungcheol scolds them all.

Your eyes are darting from everyone at the table. Their stares are akin to shrink rays, making you feel tiny and minuscule. You know when you aren’t welcomed, and there’s no reason to stay listening to this. You want to snap back, end the conversation with your own last words, but nothing comes to mind.

In lieu, you push your chair back and stand up. Your hands twitch with the temptation to dump their food all over them, but you just want to get out as soon as possible. 

You waste no time careening for the exit. 

Seungcheol calls your name; you ignore it. The worker from before sees you, telling you goodbye, but you couldn't care less and push past the door before he can finish his sentence.

Your breath gets caught in your throat at the sudden breeze that slams into you. Instantly, your arms wrap around you once more. You glance around and see a bus stop down the street. You don’t care that it’s the other way from Seungcheol’s car. You hurry to the station, not sure when the next bus will come.

The bus stop isn’t deserted despite the cold weather. The area must be busy all the time since the sidewalks are littered with more people than you expect. All the seats at the stop are taken, yet you still shuffle under the shelter in hopes to get away from some of the breeze.

You are shaking, and your teeth are chattering. It’s impossible to force your body to stop since you need to generate heat somehow. You probably look like a pathetic naked chihuahua in winter.

You take out your phone, open up a browser, and search for bus times. Thankfully, there’s one coming in three minutes in the direction you need. The thought of taking the bus is not pleasurable. You hate the idea of your skin touching something so many others have touched. It feels unsanitary.

Accidentally leaning back against the wall while you silently groan has you jumping at the cold material touching your bare skin. Your jolt catches the attention of an older woman who is sitting near you.

“Aren’t you freezing, child?” she asks as she stares at your attire—or lack of. 

“I’ll be fine soon,” you say, not really in the mood for talking.

“Where is your coat? Did you not know the weather was going to be cold?” she continues.

Utterly done with all the people-talk tonight, you hiss, “Focus on yourself. I’ll focus on me.”

She seems startled at your outburst. Her already crossed arms tighten as she turns away from you. Her muttered “bitch” doesn’t go unnoticed, but you don’t say anything about it. There’s no point in arguing with a stranger.

The sound of the bus calls your attention, and you mentally thank the universe for the great timing. After people leave and all the new patrons enter, you finally take a step up the bus’ steps. Before you can climb all the way, you hear your name being called. You look past the bus doors to see Seungcheol running toward you.

Just what you need.

You disregard him and step farther up the steps of the bus.

The bus driver looks expectantly at you, and it dawns on you that you need to provide payment before you can board fully.

“Card?” you wonder. The bus driver nods and gestures to a device to the right.

As you unzip your purse, you feel a hand grip your arm.

“Where are you going?” Seungcheol asks, slightly breathless. His hair is disheveled from running, but he doesn’t seem to care.

“Home, idiot,” you huff and pull your arm out of his grasp so you can retrieve your card.

“Just come with me. We can talk somewhere else,” he pleads, a hand stopping your movements again.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Seungcheol,” you hiss. “Now, let go of me.”

He hesitates but slowly releases your arm. He doesn’t leave, though. “I’ll take you home. You don’t need to take the bus. Come on.”

“Go with him or get on! We have places to be,” a passenger exclaims, clearly annoyed with your drama.

You raise your head to the person, narrowing your eyes in a glare that tells them to pipe down. It has no effect on them. They shoot a fierce look back.

“I know you don’t want to take the bus,” Seungcheol comments quietly.

He’s right. Not only do you not want to sit next to a lady whose arms are filled with shopping bags—the only available seat—you really don’t want to add time to your trip home.

Seungcheol reaches out again and carefully takes your hand in his. This time, you don’t fight him as he guides you off the bus. Once you’re both off, the bus doors shut and begin its trip down the road.

You watch it silently, not knowing Seungcheol is discarding his jacket until you feel the warm material cover your shoulders. Your eyes snap back to him as if remembering who you’re with.

“I’m sorry they said all that stuff. I told them not to do that tonight,” he says remorsefully.

“Oh, so you’ll let them talk shit about me another day?” you chide and start walking away from him. Thankfully for Seungcheol, it’s in the direction of his car.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he replies as he hurries to catch up, which doesn’t take much effort as you aren’t walking too fast due to your cold, stiff legs.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure they’ll do that whenever they want to. They wouldn’t be the first,” you scoff.

“It doesn’t make it right regardless,” he says. You halt in your steps, causing Seungcheol to stop and turn to look at you.

“I talk shit about people behind their backs, too. Does that make me a bad person?” you question. Perhaps if he sees you as one he’ll leave you alone.

He exhales a deep breath. “Let’s just get in the car, okay?”

“You can admit it,” you challenge and walk closer to him. “Does talking shit about someone make me a bad person, Seungcheol?”

He stares down at you, soft gaze turning dark with annoyance.

“To the car, Yn,” he demands slowly just in case you won’t understand; his tone is sharp in a way you haven’t heard before. You don’t let that scare you away. Maybe if you weren’t so fired up, you would have been a little intimidated.

You laugh darkly and roll your eyes at his command. “You want me to sit next? Bark, too?”

“Now, you’re just being dramatic.”

Dramatic, he says.

“Woof?” you reply, dramatically giving him the best puppy-dog eyes you can muster.

Seungcheol’s jaw clenches at your response—not pleased with your sarcasm. However, instead of replying in an annoyed tone, he takes a step forward. His head draws closer to your face to ensure your eyes are glued to his.

“Wanna be a good girl and go to the car, Cherry?” he murmurs lowly, an eyebrow quirking up for a second.

His sudden change in tone has you stiffening. You want to bite back—figuratively or literately… you aren’t sure yet—but you can’t even remember what you are mad about in the first place.

“Hm?” he croons when you don't reply quickly.

Rather than a sarcastic reply, you simply grumble, “whatever,” before pushing past him to get to his car.

You stand next to the passenger side like before, waiting for him to unlock it. Seungcheol comes beside you and swiftly unlocks the vehicle. Although you aren’t arguing at the moment, you can sense some irritation lingering from him.

You get the feeling he'll always hold the door open no matter how annoyed he is with you.

You feel suffocated.

The air in the car is too hot. The weight of his jacket has you overheating. The tension is unbearable.

Seungcheol keeps his eyes on the road, not throwing you a single glance as he drives. Every once in a while he will tighten his hold on the steering wheel. One time you even catch the way his muscles flex at the motion—now exposed from not wearing his jacket. You never realized how fit he is. This isn’t the first time you have seen him sleeveless, but you just never stared long enough to notice. Or if you did, you simply didn’t care. Regardless, you notice now, and you have to force your eyes away before he catches you staring.

You want to ask for music so you don’t have to sit in this insufferable silence, but your mouth feels dry. You decide to just deal with the quietness, shifting in the seat so you’re facing the window more. Your eyes drift close as you let the hum of the car distract you. 

Seungcheol’s jacket is snuggled around you, and his woodsy cologne fills your senses. It’s pleasant, and you don’t mind if you smell more of it in the future.

By the time you arrive home, you are on the verge of sleep. You stumble out of the car and shut the door without saying a word to Seungcheol. You expect him to drive off, but the sound of his tires moving never comes. Instead, you hear his car door opening and closing.

“You don’t have to walk me to the door,” you say while you glance behind you. Seungcheol is following you languidly.

“No, I don’t,” he says and pauses at the bottom of your porch steps. He places a foot on the first step while a hand holds onto the rail. You have your keys out, ready to slide them into the keyhole when you speak.

“Then don’t,” you reply sternly.

He chuckles lowly but doesn’t say anything about it.

“You can go now,” you say when he doesn't move.

“You have something of mine.”

Puzzled, you stare at him for a second. Seungcheol gestures to your body, and you quickly remember you’re wearing his jacket. You tug it off and toss it to him. He grabs it from the air with ease. The loss of heat makes you wish he didn’t say anything.

“Goodnight, Cherry,” he murmurs as soon as you click open your door. You step inside before turning to face him.

The nickname you used earlier forms on your tongue, yet you can’t find the courage to say it consciously.

“Night,” you answer, then shut the door before either of you can say anything else.

With your head bowed, you turn the lock slowly while you exhale deeply. His nickname falls from your lips under your breath—unable to keep the desire at bay.

previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter

A/N: Can't believe the first chapter is actually published 😭 I sat and stared at this for a few before hitting "post" because I'm so anxious! dfl;kbjdvs. Please feel free to share your thoughts on it so far!

For my “shy/silent” readers, I’ve created a feedback form where you can share your thoughts on my fics in a more anonymous and private way. ^-^

taglist: @iammisstora, @christinewithluv, @lithelust, @musingsofananxiouspotato, @yoozuku, @lockburn-castle, @mystikhal-blog, @oncloudvii23 (couldn't tag :c), @cheolcherries (tysm!!!)

©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

#svt fanfic #svt angst #svt fluff #scoups fanfic #scoups angst #scoups fluff #scoups x reader #svt series #seungcheol fanfic #seungcheol angst #seungcheol fluff #svt slice of life #seungcheol x reader #scoups x you #s coups fluff #s coups angst #s coups fanfic #seventeen fanfic #scoups x y/n #seungcheol x y/n #scoups series #kvanity #kdiarynet

[clairelsonao3]

Any Writers tried BookTok?

As some of you know, at some point in the New Year, I plan to self-publish a romance ebook. Over the next few months, I hope to start putting some more infrastructure in place to promote it for when the time comes to send out arcs, etc. I already have friends and supporters on Tumblr and A03, which is a great start. But of course, everyone says BookTok is the place to be, especially for romance writers. But I'm hesitating for a few reasons, which are:

Will I get canceled? To make a long story short, the book deals with topics that are not only dark but could be seen as controversial -- and are liable to be attacked by people who don't care that the book is the exact opposite of what they think it is and simply like canceling things based on certain phrases in titles, blurbs or loglines. Tumblr and Ao3, with a few unfortunate exceptions, have been mostly, blissfully free of these people, but BookTok strikes me as someplace that might have a lot of them. Idk, maybe I'm wrong. And if someone does try to cancel me, will I be able to handle it by simply refusing to engage?

I don't want to and can't really show my face for mostly professional reasons. (I like my face just fine, just not for TikTok!) I can use my own voice and, like, my hands or, something, but face is a no-go. Will I be severely hurting my chances of getting any eyeballs on my posts?

Is the culture toxic or likely to harm my mental health? No amount of promotion is worth something that's going to traumatize or hurt me (see above about cancellation). And if my work and/or my characters are hurt, I'm hurt. I've encountered toxicity on social media before and have largely stepped away from it, with Tumblr being the main exception because the community here is so wonderful.

Will it be too much of a time commitment? I know they suggest posting once a day, which seems like a lot, especially if it involves creating and editing original posts. And really anything that's going to take more than, say, 20 minutes out of my day (unless of course I really enjoy it, like I do Tumblr) is too much of a time commitment, in my opinion.

So, that said, I would love to hear from anyone who has experience with BookTok, especially writers of romance and ESPECIALLY writers of "dark," edgy, and/or controversial romance. Should I just try it for, say, a few weeks and see how I like it? (I have never used TikTok before, ever, so it would mostly just be getting a feel for it). Is that even possible?

Thank you for any opinions, anecdotes, or nuggets of wisdom anyone can offer!

#writeblr #writing advice #tiktok #booktok #opinions needed #writing community #self publishing #publishing #publishing questions #publishing advice #fiction #author #indie author #writing

[crime-wives]

thank you so so much to @thecasualqueer for the tag :DD

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

i have 8 works on ao3 currently and many more in the works :)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

15,579

3. what fandoms do you write for?

i write mostly for swan queen (emma swan/regina mills), meddison (meredith grey/addison montgomery), and supercorp (lena luthor/kara danvers), but i also have a bunch on rairpair fics in the works :)

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

nobody warns you before the fall - 219 kudos (i was so surprised at the amount of reception this fic got, i really didn't think anyone would read it lol)

nothing worsens, nothing grows - 156 kudos

so you were never a saint, and i loved in shades of wrong - 106 kudos

this house may be haunted (but not ours) - 68 kudos

probably running away (from the feeling i get) - 50 kudos

5. do you respond to comments?

yes, i always respond, although it usually takes me awhile. i love every single person who has ever commented on my fics :)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

my fic do you think i have forgotten (about you) is probably my angstiest ending. for context, the fic is about addison montgomery and derek shepherd and the breakdown of their marriage so. (the fact that i wrote a het fic is shocking even to me)

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

this year, to save me from tears, i'll give it to someone special is probably the most optimistic ending for one of my fics.

8. do you get hate on fics?

i haven't so far, i assume i will at some point, but for now everyone has been really positive and encouraging towards me and my writing :)

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

at the moment i don't write smut, but eventually maybe.

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't yet, but i did have an idea for a swan queen and supercorp crossover so maybe

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

no, i don't believe so.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i would be honored if anyone ever wanted to translate a fic.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no i haven't, but my friend @emily-prentits and i have been working on an idea for a rairpair :D

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

probably swan queen. they never fail to get me in the feels, something about family, and belonging, and finding a place for yourself. also enemies, to reluctant co-parents, to friends, to lovers am i right? they make me so feral (i'm so normal i swear)

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

my only published wip is so you were never a saint, and i loved in shades of wrong but i sincerely doubt i will ever finish that (it was meant to be a oneshot but i added another chapter and i kinda hate it so)

but because i am actually insane, (i went through my docs and counted for this) i have a grand total of 57 wips, most of which will never be finished, or compounded into other fics.

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think i'm good at characterization, i like to spend a lot of time analysing the characters, and it's very important to me that the characters feel like themselves.

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

one of my weaknesses is description. i am definitely working on it tho. in addition, the amount of time it takes for me to write anything substantial.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm not sure, i think maybe if it was extremely necessary, but otherwise i'm not sure.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

meddison - meredith grey/addison montgomery from grey's anatomy.

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh god wow i'm not sure. i think i'd have to say either do you think i have forgotten (about you) or probably running away (from the feelings i get) are probably my best fics.

no pressure tags :) @emily-prentits @flyingpotstickers @peridotglimmer @horsetailcurlers2 @hummingbirdswords @nostradamus0

#tag game #my wips #my fics #swan queen #supercorp #meddison #this was so so fun!! #thank you for tagging me :) #fic writing #fanfic questions #writing questions

[spockandawe]

Hi! I'm a newer follower, so I'm sorry if you get asked this a lot. I really admire your bookbinding, and was wondering whether you have any recommendations on good sources for learning how? I've done a bit of reading on my own but it's quite intimidating! Thanks so much for sharing what you do.

Aw, thank you! And haha, you're okay, it comes up occasionally, but it's been a while and tumblr's search function is erratic at best. And I'm pretty sure my answer changes every time! So let's see where I'm at right now.

So, my personal style of learning isn't suited to everyone. I like to throw myself at projects past my skill level, because a lot of my craft hobbies are ultimately about thrill-seeking. I'm launching myself into spaces where an unmitigated success would be delightful but unlikely, and a total failure would be devastating, but I'm pretty decent at hitting the mixed success zone where I don't get so frustrated that i quit. Some people have a much lower frustration threshold than I do, or find the uncertainty much more stressful than I do.

But the end point is that I just yeeted myself into the hobby like 'I'M GONNA BIND THIS WEBNOVEL' despite not knowing anything about anything, and fully aware that I would be unhappy with the results. If I recall correctly, that was a coptic binding of the first half of svsss, and I don't think I ever went back to finish the other half that time, haha. On the one hand, it was thrilling! A book that was only online was now in my hand! And at that point, an official license seemed laughable. On the other hand, wow, this typesetting is bad to look at, the book is too wiggly, and I don't like the open spine. When I did my first casebinding, well! There were a whole lot of new issues, but still, the thrill! It was a flawed book, but a cooler one than I'd ever made before!

My approach isn't for everyone. For me, gotta go fast works, but I've seen people take their time, move carefully, and post a GORGEOUS first book. Mine depends on you having the time, money, and motivation to iterate on your process to improve to the point where you're HAPPY. I learn best by doing, and now I'll go into deeper research dives about like, styles of endpapers, but that totally overwhelmed me when I was starting out, I still get overloaded and frustrated when I read resources by the kind of highly-trained bookbinders who insist there's one BEST way to do a technique, and I get very very annoyed by how some resources make this hobby feel so... inaccessible.

So! Accessible resources. Here's a general list someone else wrote, but I'm going to do my own thing too

https://www.google.com/amp/s/hiveswap.tumblr.com/post/677512645592694784/bookbinding-resources-masterpost/amp

First, let me toss one youtube channel your way. I started casebinding using SeaLemon as a reference. I outgrew her stuff fairly quickly, there are other youtubers who cover a LOT of in-depth ground, but das bookbinding and glenn malkin and company just overwhelmed me at first. She also has another video on making your own bookcloth at home, which is still the method I use for most of my books.

https://youtu.be/Av_rU-yOPd4

Then, communities. I started off in this solo, I was happily chugging along, and a few books in, I was pointed in the direction of renegade publishing, which is a fun collective focused on the binding of fanfiction (though other bindings are welcome too). I'll link their dreamwidth, though they do have other social media too, including a tumblr and discord. There are resources they shared, but I'll call out one in particular. One of the founders has a guide for going from ao3 to book that has seen some traction over the last few years, though like with SeaLemon, I started in there, and soon wandered off to freehand the process instead.

Fair warning, though, their discord (18+, sometimes nsfw) especially is large, and it moves quickly. It's a great place to ask for advice, but there are a Lot of people talking. This may be great for you, or it may be overwhelming! I'm fairly comfortable in there at this point, but I'm an asocial dweeb and it took me a while to get comfortable talking.

https://renegadepublishing.dreamwidth.org/

https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/11JyVxeRS8yEWgCYrNMUPlNrEbR5AAD3Z2aDP-QXEP3Y/mobilebasic

Then, a second community! The r/bookbinding discord (sfw). I think they got their start with the reddit group, but they aren't affiliated these days, the name is there for clarity and continuity. The group is focused on general bookbinding, and though fanfic is welcome, it's not a focus. It's a quieter place, which makes it much easier to follow conversations without being constantly online. This one also maintains a list of resources, and they also have channels for newsletters and for youtube uploads from the major bookbinding channels. It's a lovely place as well, people here are nice and helpful

https://discord.gg/thbraMNn

I think that's what I've got for now! My personal recommendation remains to pick a project and throw yourself in, and to deal with any speedbumps as they come up. But SeaLemon is a good starter educational resource, and these two communities are both used to helping newbies through figuring out the process. I hope that helps!

#spock replies #long post/ #crafts #bookbinding

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

My first time doing a request but this seemed fun! #39 Rooster and Phoenix 🥰 Thanks!

Hi! Thanks so much for request Kiss #39 - because time’s run out with Rooster and Phoenix! I hope you love it! I'm sorry it took so long to write!

A Kiss Because Time's Run Out

What do you do when your best friend is getting married to somebody who is not you? If you’re Bradley Bradshaw, you don’t do anything at all, because if your best friend is happier with a man who isn’t you, who are you to stop her happiness? He’s the only man in the bride’s dressing room, in part because he’s her best man. She looks breathtaking, but Bradley always thinks she does. Wearing a white gown with her hair in shining ringlets down her back, she looks ethereal, rather like a goddess.

He stands at the back of the room while Natasha’s mom and sisters add the finishing touches and then the room falls silent as everyone makes their way out of the room. He can still remember the day he met Natasha Trace. She’d been the only woman in a room full of men and she’d outshone them all. She could outfly them all, too. He doesn’t know when he fell in love with her, though he has a suspicion it was sometime between when she first called him, “Roo” and when he made her laugh over beers.

But he’s always been too chicken, living up to his call sign, as Hangman says, “Sitting on his perch” to tell her he loves her. Coincidentally he lost her to that very same man, and he can’t stand to see the joy on her face when she turns to him. In another universe, it would be him on the other end of that aisle facing her in her beautiful dress.

“Roo” There’s something sad in her eyes.

“Nixxie.” He swallows hard. “You look beautiful. He’s - he’s a lucky man.”

“Tell me not to marry him, and I’m yours.” Her voice is shaky, in a way Bradley’s never heard it.

Bradley can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Nix, I can’t do that. Jake’s a friend and he loves you. More than I ever could.” 

She blinks back tears from her gorgeous eyes. “Then will you kiss me, Roo?” 

“Of course, Nix.” He dips his head down, and presses his lips to hers. He’s gentle as he cradles her head, pulling away after only a few more moments.

“This is the end of us, isn’t it?” Her voice hitches on a near sob.

“Why would it be, huh, Nix?” His voice is just as soft as he dabs away her tears. “You’re still my best friend. You’re still the best wingwoman I could have asked for. Be happy.”

Want to request a Kiss and a pair for me to write? Guidelines are here.

Want to see other Kisses I’ve written? Here’s the full Masterlist.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

#star writes #top gun fanfic #top gun fanfiction #top gun maverick fanfic #top gun maverick fanfiction #kiss writing game #bradley rooster bradshaw x natasha phoenix trace #rooster x phoenix #bradley bradshaw x natasha trace

[fushiglow]

Here's my Ao3 wrapped for 2023!

Although it's nowhere near as impressive as some people's, I'm really proud of my writing achievements this year, both on and off my Ao3 account. This is just for my own motivation, so I've collaged together a few different templates I've seen online. Feel free to use it for your own if you like!

Words written this year: 45,705 words published over six months! Now where was this motivation to write during my degrees...?

Works published this year: Five published works for Jujutsu Kaisen, four of which are complete.

Work I'm most proud of: Over the Threshold — for a million different reasons! I've never approached a work with this level of attention to themes and motifs before. I lose perspective sometimes, but it's very fulfilling to write, especially because the setting is personally important to me.

Work that readers enjoyed most: Rivers Crossed, Mountains Scaled — at least judging from kudos and bookmarks. That was a surprise to me considering it's only around a week old! However, the investment readers have shown in the comments on Over the Threshold means *everything* to me.

Fastest work to write: Dream a Little Dream — I wrote it over a few hours at work because of a prompt that captured my imagination. This is *wildly* fast for me!

Slowest work to write: I would say Over the Threshold because it's still a WIP, but let's go with Rivers Crossed, Mountains Scaled because it was in my drafts for six months before I did anything with it.

Number of WIPs I'm taking into 2024: Including Over the Threshold, I think 10 or 11? Most of them are part of a series about Megumi and Gojō's relationship that I've been working on for ages, and there are tons more half-baked ideas flying around that I hope I can flesh out eventually. I wish I was a faster writer!

Favourite character to write: Basic of me, but it's Gojō. No matter how much I write him or study his character, I still never know whether I'm getting it quite right. I find that really addictive!

Favourite line/passage I wrote this year: I feel spoilt for choice which is a pretty nice feeling to have about myself! I'm really proud of the celestial imagery in chapter five of Over the Threshold. It's woven throughout the whole chapter, but if I had to pick one passage, it would probably be this one:

It was simply the truth of the universe that some stars burned brighter than others, and Satoru’s was among the brightest. He shone so brilliantly that the rabble were forced to avert their eyes, bowing their heads in worship of his lonely light. Suguru didn’t want to be part of the rabble. [...] If it was the price he had to pay for really seeing Satoru, Suguru would rather let his retinas burn than look away.

Honourable mention to this description from Dream a Little Dream:

Her eyes instantly found his — wide pools of endless blue in motion peering at her from across the room. He was silhouetted against the window frame, shōji pulled open to reveal the clear and colourless dawn that was breaking beyond. It was still too early for the sun to paint the sky in daubs of orange and rouge, but the monochrome world outside cast the Six Eyes into even sharper relief.

Thank you to everyone who has supported my work this year, whether through leaving wonderful comments that light up my entire week or simply following along. I appreciate every single one of you!

Honestly, I'd love to talk more about my fics but it feels like a vain thing to do unless invited. So, if you ever have any questions or anything, ping them my way and I would *love* to chat with you!

Happy New Year, everyone!

#ao3 wrapped #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen fanfic #gojo satoru #geto suguru #fushiguro megumi #iori utahime #satosugu #gojohime #呪術廻戦 #my writing #fushiglow

[seasonal-writes]

2023 Writing Round-Up

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you’re most excited about. my beloved mutual @canarydarity tagged me in this. thank you for the tag, worm! this was really fun :D p.s. almost every fic in here is team rancher. and almost all of it is shipping. so i am not going to make my bias so obvious by labeling them, i will simply make not of the ONE that is not team rancher. i'm mentally unwell about them and the bias has not gone away. so just a fair warning. <3

January

"bruised / cuts" // 1,347 words "small / cuts" // 1,897 words

'jimmy and tango are in love and clumsy, usually resulting in minor injuries. these are their stories.

dUN DUN-' "19% touch starved and 91% in denial" // 2,551 words

'a short fic in which jimmy is touch-starved, and his new soulmate, tango, is the furthest thing from it.' "old heartbeats die hard" // scarian // 1,413 words

'Did you know that listening to someone’s heartbeat can have a calming effect on your own heart and breathing pattern? Grian knows this. And he knows it’s working right now, even if it’s not enough to lull him to sleep quite yet. Though, there is still relief in knowing that one is still thumping away in Scar’s chest. Its pace is still fresh and lively and steady, just how he likes it— even if he’d never say something like that out loud.' "When Fate Finds Golden Rings" (ongoing, originally published in late january) // 65,044 words as of the last current update in mid-july.

'Being a prince comes with many things. Reputation, politics..even war, if one isn't careful.

When the Kingdom of the Overworld's alliance with the Nether grows tense, there is only one way to repair it, and it lies within the hands of two princes—arranged to be married to end a fight that simmers hot between the two planes.

But when Heir-to-the-throne Tango would rather stay at odds than follow through, and the the youngest Prince Jimmy finds no way for a wedding to solve anything, how can they bite back their gripe and fulfill their responsibilities?

How do you fight a destiny that's forged in gold? (or, a Ranchers Royalty AU. Take two.)'

February

"i ain't ever liked sweets (till you sugar-coated my teeth)" // 2,556 words

'a short, fluffy, plotless valentine's day rancher duo one-shot! :D'

March - June

these few months, i worked on personal projects and was in the thick of Golden Rings updates. so, nothing too exciting!

July

"how do you talk to a star?" // 1,285 words 'jimmy is in love with tango. he does not plan on telling him.' also, the last update i did on golden rings. maybe someday i'll get back to it, akfdjs

August - December

more personal projects! i had a few new AUs i never quite debuted that i created and cultivated with friends, wrote a little for them--but they weren't really enough to post, so. and that's all for the year! i appreciate everyone who's stuck around this long, even with my inactivity the past few months. i am hoping that with the new year, there will come new motivation to get back into it. posting all my little stories and ideas have both helped me realize i really am beyond in love with writing, AND i made lots of new friends along the way. :D been a pretty cool time! no pressure tag: @hitheeprithee! let me see your words, boy. thanks for reading, as always. :) <3 till next time.

#seasonalrambles #happy new year everyone! #thanks again for the tag worm :>

[sixofsol]

@johaerys-writes tagged my main (@heypax) for this, but since ive talked about my fics more on this blog i decided to do it here instead !

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

26!

2. What is your AO3 word count?

151,778

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I mean, I haven’t written anything for anything but six of crows since like year back… But! I do miss writing patrochilles, and tsoa is the fandom i’ve written the absolute most for! If we’re looking back, I’ve written hadestown, steven universe, haikyuu!! and a bunch more years ago.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

we were shotgun lovers // I’m a shotgun running away - six of crows, wesper, 772 kudos

like moss climbs a tree - song of achilles, patrochilles, 446

i want someone to try, and let me down easy — six of crows, wesper, 405 kudos

from the outside looking in - the song of achilles, patrochilles, 371 kudos

twisted roots and sunny days, the song of achilles, patrochilles, 363 kudos

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES if i dont miss when i get them (i dont have the email motifs on) i always do ! it means so much someone commented and i always love having a lil conversation about this thing that i wrote.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

as much of an lover i am of hurt no comfort i very rarely write it lmao but a lot of my tsoa fics had sad endings. autumn’s coming around is the first one that popped into mind, but that’s at least slightly open ? i’ll hold your hand while you drown, less so.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I feel like a lot of my fics have equally happy endings haha, the one that came to mind was our hair tangled in the breeze, simply because its a happy ending canon complaint tsoa fic which is a feat lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope the closets ive ever come was when i was 12 and people were like nice story but god your grammar and spelling is terrible! which was fair!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nah I’m a fade to black kinda girlie

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I never anymore but well,, Once upon a time i was 14 and obsessed with glee and sherlock and well….

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as ik

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope !

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

nope, but I would enjoy trying!

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

…this is hard because wesper has been running around in my head for a year but simply cause ive been obsessed with patrochilles longer im still gonna say them

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’d love to continue for everyone im about to prove wrong, and I think I even have a mostly finished chapter lying around somewhere, but I’ve just not had the inspiration rip.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I’m good at writing characters in general, especially when it’s from their pov. first person pov my beloved.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I’m not really a person who uses a lot of metaphors of writes flowery language, but i wish i was!! i love very beautiful language and poetic writing but i just don’t do that that much im pretty straight forward, which isn’t a bad thing but I wish i could expand a bit more.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

takes me out the story way too much, it’s fine if it’s like one word every now and then but nah. ive read a couple of young royals fics, and as a swedish speaker its a bit jarring to suddenly have swedish words there lmao

19. First fandom you wrote for?

If non published count, harry potter. if only published, glee!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

i’m gonna be fair to myself and choose one for soc and one for tsoa.

autumn’s coming around for tsoa and a fire died last winter for soc, which ironically are my least popular fics in the respective fandoms!

thank you !! and im tagging @leglesslouie @jackwolfes @wesperbrekkered @deathless--aphrodite

#writing #tag games #six of crows #the song of achilles

[sad-chaos-goblin]

@ineffabildaddy and @celestialcrowley both tagged me in this long bio thingy (thank u!!! 💚), it's taken me a while to get round to it but here's some stuff about me:

Real name: Elyan

Nickname & nickname origins: Some people call me Ely but mostly everyone uses my full name.

Ao3: sad_chaos_goblin Haven't actually published anything (yet) but I might start soon ^^

Social media: i mostly use ig but it's a personal private acc

state country: Spain. I'm half English on my mum's side but I've never actually lived in the UK. I was born in Málaga, lived in Dublin for a bit and now I live in Barcelona.

pets: none right now, although I call my work bestie my Tamagotchi and she says she's my pet human, I keep snacks in my drawer cos she gets hungry often <3 Back when I was a kid we had a belgian shepherd and later on a samoyed, both the sweetest things ever. I miss them, dogs should live as long as humans :(

hobbies: reading (mostly I'm into fantasy and good omens fanfics right now but it changes every now and then), lyrical dance, aerial silks, pole dance and recently I'm getting into writing (inspired by GO)

Personality: I'm an extroverted introvert, I love spending time with people I like and I love getting to know new people I vibe with, but I need a lot of alone time, my social battery is limited and social interaction can feel very draining if I don't get alone time to recharge. I can be quite socially awkward and shy if I don't know people too well but once I'm comfortable around someone I get very giggly and silly. I'm an INFJ according to a test thingy someone sent me to fill in.

Favourite holiday: Hallowe'en. Big spooky fan, me. Mostly because it means autumn has arrived, it's my favourite season. Also love costume parties and roasted chestnuts (in the Catalunya region of Spain, where I live, it's tradition to have roasted chestnuts on the 31st).

Favourite food: hmm hard to choose. (Vegan) lasagna, mushroom risotto, curries, avocado toast, regular toast with margarine or olive oil, bread in general, i love bread!

Favourite dessert: lotus cheesecake or fudgy chocolate cake (vegan versions).

Favourite colour: I'm not really sure I have a specific favourite colour but I generally prefer cool colours over warm ones.

Favourite quote/s: "To live is the rarest thing in the world; most people exist, that is all" - Oscar Wilde, "Time is the school in which we learn, time is the fire in which we burn" - Delmore Schwartz, "To the world" - Good Omens

Favourite book/s: too hard to pick all-time faves so here are a few favourite recent reads - Six of Crows/Crooken Kingdom, 1Q84, Babel, Good Omens (currently reading)

Favourite tv shows: Good Omens (obvi), Brooklyn99, The Office, the Haunting of Bly Manor, From

Favourite films: Jurassic Park (the original one), Black Swan, Little Women, I'm kind of blanking here can't think of any others

Favourite characters: Crowley & Aziraphale, Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Jesper Fahey, Nina Zenik, Wylan VanEck, Matthias Helvar, Jo March, Tori from Heartstopper & Solitaire, Jake Peralta, Holden Caulfield

Favourite actors: currently quite obsessed with Michael Sheen and David Tennant, I wonder why

Favourite song/s: ooh this is a hard one. Off the top of my head right now:

-My immortal - Evanescence

-Under Pressure - Queen

-Who wants to live forever - Queen

-Lovely - Billie Eilish

-Smoke Signals - Phoebe Bridgers

-Famous Blue Raincoat - Leonard Cohen

-Take me somewhere nice - Mogwai

-Massa Tard - Blaumut

-With me - Sum41

-Perra - Rigoberta Bandini

-Run - Snow Patrol

-Cardigan - Taylor Swift

I'm gonna stop myself here cos I could just keep adding songs and this would get wayyy too long

Favourite music genre/s: Whatever vibes with my state of mind in the moment.

Favourite podcast/s: Don't really listen to podcasts cos I have rubbish attention span and if I play one while I'm out walking around I am practically guaranteed to get distracted by my own thoughts and stop paying attention and suddenly realise I haven't processed a single word in the last half hour

Have you ever met a celebrity: I've decided locally famous drag queens count as celebrities so yes, i have met a few and they were all super friendly! ^^

Do you collect anything: I've moved a lot since I left home so I've tended to be quite practical about not accumulating things. Books would be the exception I guess, I love buying physical copies.

Do you have any idols: in Neil Gaiman we trust

Is there a real life friend you can be completely yourself with: I am terrible at being vulnerable and expressing my feelings face to face but i do have a couple of people very willing to be a safe space whenever i do manage to share

Where would you live to travel to: New Zealand, Tromsø (Norway), West Coast Canada

Random fact about yourself: I get carsick very easily.

If you made it all the way down here, thanks for reading all my gibberish!! <3

I think many people i would tag have already been tagged elsewhere so I'll leave it at that but everybody feel free to join in!

#not good omens #sad-chaos-goblin

[galathogwarts]

The Stars Will Always Shine Here ✰ Chapter 1: Back at Hogwarts ✰

Also on ao3

Chapters Masterlist

Summary: After the events of fifth year, you missed your friends in Hogwarts. You were excited to see them all back, not having to roam the castle all alone. You thought after last year, the rest should be easy. Well … not necessarily. Between nightmares that are hunting you through the nights and the fear of unrequited love from your best friend Sebastian, there are also goblins planning to bring you down and secrets that awaits to be discovered. But you have now something you did not have at the beginning of last year, a strong and loving group of friends who would do anything to make sure you survive this year.

Hey everyone :) welcome to my very first fanfic. Im so excited to share it with you all! So I could not wait to finish it completely before publishing it so hopefully it should be okay. A few quick notes before reading:

Major spoilers for Hogwarts legacy, if you have not completed the game and don’t want to be spoiled continue with cautious.

English is not my main language. I really really wanted to write beautifully and creatively but it is hard to do in my own language, let alone in English. So this won’t have the most engaging or well written story, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless.

This story will contain all kind of plots. The first chapters are heavily focused on character relationship, especially Sebastian and MC. It might be a little slow until we get to the juicy parts.

I’ve changed some stuff from the main plot, like Sebastian killing his uncle.

Please please please give me feedback! If there is something I can do to make the story better I would love to hear it.

that’s all for now! Enjoy :)

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

You felt your legs trembling with excitement as you walked towards the kitchens. It felt as if you were going mad, but you have been thinking about this very day since the beginning of summer.

Today is the day, you thought. The day you will finally see all of your friends back at Hogwarts.

You met some of them during the summer. You spent some weekends at Poppy and her grandmother’s place. Poppy’s grandmother was a nice grey-haired woman who liked telling you stories about a variety of magical beasts. You will forever cherish the cold summer evenings, with her and poppy sitting with cups of hot chocolate under a blanket on the floral sofas. The fire in the fireplace crackled in the background while Poppy’s grandmother told you stories about Unicorns, Puffskeins, Hippogriffs, and Graphorns.

You also joined Adelaide and her uncle a few times, each visit you met them at a different place like Maureween Lake and Poidsear Coast. Sometimes you would camp at different sites, and Adelaide and you would stay up late lying on the grass watching the stars.

You even met Natty before her trip to Uganda, though she had been reluctant to go there since the memories were too painful, she agreed at last. You had a fun day at Hogsmeade, drinking butterbeer and talking endlessly about previous adventures and future ones. After that evening you hugged and cried, declaring you will miss each other ‘very much so’.

But there was a trio you did not have the pleasure of meeting this summer. Oh, how you missed the soft eyes under the light brown fringe, and the kind words Anne has written to you all summer. You also missed the pale boy with the light hair who even though could not see, was the most observant guy you ever had the pleasure of knowing. And oh, how you missed the freckled boy with the playful smile. You missed his brown-eyed gaze, looking at them intently when he spoke. You missed his little gestures that showed he cared about his friends. Just thinking about him made your heart skip a thousand beats.

They have been somewhere with Anne, Sebastian’s great attempt of mending things back with her. Thanks to you, by the end of last year Anne agreed to try to reconcile with Sebastian and work on things, which was what they were doing this summer. Ominis joined them as he was also in the need of reconciliation with Sebastian, though with him it was easier. You did exchange owls with him, and Sebastian sent you postcards from different places he traveled to. But you missed their faces, their voice, their presence.

You reached the entrance of the kitchen, your trail of thoughts cut off.

“Good morning, everyone!” You said cheerily as you entered the kitchen, trying to suppress the feelings of longing to see your friends again. A few house-elves smiled at you and mumbled good morning, while others shot you suspicious looks. House elves did not really trust wizards. You could not blame them, of course. They have been taught to blindly obey their owner’s commands and did not know kindness from wizard-kind.

“You look surprisingly happy today.” Said Laxton, the head house elf. He was shorter than the others, and white short hair covered his head. When you started to come to the kitchen as summer started, he was nice to you. You had to prove yourself to the other house elves but you knew without his approval nobody would even look at you. You appreciated Laxton’s trust, and in return your brought him foraging goods you found in your adventures.

He was a kind house elf who listened to your stories while you helped the elves cook. At first, they declined any attempt of help you offered, but you convinced them cooking soothed you, and it let you do something in this big empty castle. Laxton let you help, and you exchanged stories. You about your friends, and he about his dream to travel around the world one day and taste all kinds of food.

But now, he was staring at you with his big eyes, a smile on his lips. He put a plate in front of you as you sat down.

“I told you I can fetch myself my very own breakfast!” you exclaimed. You knew it is stupid, as for the entirety of last year you ate the food they cooked. But you did not want them serving you when you were here all alone. Besides, now that you had befriended them you felt quite uncomfortable being served by them.

“I know. But today is a special occasion. Are you excited to see all of your friends being back here?” He asked, going back to prepare some things for the evening feast.

You nodded and took a bite from the food, a smile crawling on your face.

Laxton smiled too. “I believe you are excited about seeing a particular boy?”

You suddenly felt your face warming up, and were sure your cheeks were turning red. “W-what?”

“You know, the Sallow boy. The one you spent all last year with, and the one you haven’t quit talking about the entire summer.”

“I-I did not!” You declared. But you did, and knew it very well. Sebastian Sallow has been hunting your thoughts for a very long time now. You fancied him, very much so to be honest, but knew nothing can happen between you two. He probably considers you as a friend and nothing more.

Laxton just smirked “if you insist. Now finish eating and get ready, your friends shall be here before you know it.”

 

“Sorry, all taken.”

After hearing the door being shut, Ominis sighed. “Sebastian, you cannot banish all first-year students from sitting here.”

Sebastian, who has been spreading on his seat, head under his hands against the window, just smiled to himself. “Sure I can! It is my privilege as a sixth year.”

“No, Sebastian, You don't have a privilege.”

“Oh, but I do.” he argued.

Ominis shook his head in disappointment. “If y/n was here, she would have put you in place.”

The atmosphere changed at the mention of your name, and Sebastian lost all the playful spirit he had seconds ago. His heart skipped a bit. Actually many beats. He has been yearning to see you all summer, but he knew you couldn’t come to visit them. You had not even know where they were, and Sebastian was not going to tell you either. Merlin, he missed you so much. He missed hearing your voice, seeing your bright big smile, your good-humored spirit, the wrinkle around your eyes when she laughed, and your-

Stop it, Sebastian. He thought to himself. Do not cross that line.

But Merlin knows how badly he wanted to.

“You are doing this again.” hummed Ominis.

“Doing what?” Asked Sebastian, his brow furrowed.

“Whenever I mention her name, you go silent for a while.”

Sebastian felt a blush appearing on his cheeks, thanking god Ominis can’t see it. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.”

“No, I just don’t have what to say.”

“Really? The Sebastian Sallow doesn’t have anything to say?”

Sebastian sighed. “I am a man of a few words.”

“Ha!” snorted Ominis.

“I guess I just …” Sebastian felt suddenly shy, a feeling that was very unfamiliar to him. He knew for sure a red color climbed up his cheeks, and he was glad Ominis could not see it. That thought was not much of a comfort though, as he remembered Ominis does not need to look at him to know how he feels.

Why he reacted this way, though? He guessed it was just the fact he hasn’t seen you for months.

“Sebastian Sallow is lost for words. Never thought I would see the day.” Said Ominis, and Sebastian chuckled.

Ominis smiled. “I heard that. It was unintentional.”

“Sure it was.” said Sebastian unbelievably.

“You miss her too, don’t you?”

Sebastian instinctively nodded. Then he said “Yes, I do. Very much in fact.”

“Why exactly didn’t we tell her where we were this summer? And what we have been doing? I mean, she helped you reconcile with Anne last year.”

“I know, and that’s why.” Said Sebastian.

“I don’t follow.”

Sebastian sighed. “She has been engaging in my mess all of last year. And not just mine, any other Buffoon who needed help, she just couldn’t say no. I knew if we get her in she would stress herself out to help us. She just lost professor Fig and she needed a break.”

“Shouldn’t it be her decision? I mean, I am inclined to agreeing with you. But perhaps we should have left the decision for her to make.”

Sebastian scoffed. “I promised myself this year I would keep her safe.”

Ominis smiled. “When will you tell her?”

“I just told you, I’m not-”

“Not about this, about the other thing.”

“What other thing?” Asked confused Sebastian.

“That you are completely and madly in love with her.”

Sebastian was taken aback. He scanned the surrounding before he returned his stare to Ominis who sat in front of him, a sly smile on his face. “I am not-“

“Save it.” Said Ominis lifting a hand up. “You are convincing neither me nor yourself.”

He was right, Sebastian knew that. But he didn’t allow himself to feel this way, not after everything he had put you through. You should be with someone better than him, kinder than him, even if that thought made him feel like dying. But damn, it was hard not to feel that way. Every time you smiled at him, or called him ‘Seb’, he felt his heart skipping a beat without him wanting to.

He was both excited and terrified of seeing you again. And the more the train sped up towards the castle, the latter feeling took over the first.

 

The day went by so slowly. You kept moving your gaze to the ticking clock but it felt as if it wasn’t moving at all. Maybe it was the anticipation that made time moves like someone casted Arresto Momentum on it.

At last, the evening finally crept by and you heard the carriages bringing the students towards the castle. You were already in the great hall, waiting to welcome your friends.

And finally, after a few moments there they were. You saw Poppy and Adelaide talking and laughing, but they stopped when they saw you. They ran towards you and you wrapped them both into a hug.

“I missed you, girls!” You said to your dorm roommates, who were your true friends since last year. The room felt so empty without them, and the nights were so much more boring without your late-night talking. You were so excited to not wake up to an empty room the next morning, or fall asleep to the sound of complete silence.

“We missed you too!” Said poppy.

“So so much!” Added Adelaide.

You let go of the hug and looked at your friends. “It was really boring here without you.”

Adelaide smiled. “It was boring without you too. I was so excited when you came to spend the weekend with me and my uncle. He is still very fond of you since you saved him last year.”

You blushed. “It was nothing.”

“It was not nothing. And I’m so grateful for your help. But why didn’t you come to stay with us for the whole summer? I told you, you are more than welcome.”

You smiled shyly. Truth be told, you did not want to feel like a burden, like a lost girl who has nowhere to be. No parents, no mentor … No, don’t think about Professor fig. You said to yourself the thing you told yourself all summer long. It was too painful.

“I know, and I’m thankful. But Hogwarts feels like a home to me.”

“Well, my grandmother was very happy you came to visit us too. And you know you will always have a home at our place.” Said Poppy and squeezed your hand.

You teared up. “Come on, girls. I swore to myself I wouldn’t be a crybaby today.”

“Oh, did you now? Making promises you can not keep?” Said a voice from behind Poppy. You froze in motion, scared to move your gaze toward the person who was speaking. You did at last, and saw a familiar smile, messy oak hair and a pair of brown eyes looking at her playfully. Oh, I could stare at his eyes all day. You felt your heart beating strongly against your chest. You could not resist the urge, and let your legs lead you to where he was standing, and when you reached him, you slid your hands around his waist pulling him into a hug.

You laid your head on his shoulder, as you couldn’t stop the tears from coming. You were yearning to feel the comfort of his warmth, the welcomeness his arms offered you quite a lot of times last year. He hesitated for a moment before he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer. He definitely grew taller this summer, and more muscular.

“I missed you.” You said with barley a whisper.

He gulped. “Me too, crybaby.”

You released him from the hug and hit his arm jokingly. “Shut it, I’m being emotional over here.”

He held his arm as if actually hurt, but smiled at you.

You looked to his left and saw Ominis, and then started to whale again. You wrapped your arms around him and cried “Ominis! I missed you too!”

After a minute, Sebastian started to peel off your hands from around Ominis. “Hey now, don’t choke him. We do want him to make it to the seventh year.”

“I missed you guys so much!” You exclaimed and brought your hands together.

“We did too.” Ominis smiled at you.

“I’m starting to forget why...” Joked Sebastian.

You hit his arm again, playfully.

“Ouch! You became strong.”

She smiled. “I had some training last year.”

 

Sebastian couldn’t help himself. All of the talking and convincing he did all summer went out of the window when he saw you, and when you wrapped your arms around him.

Oh, how he missed your smile, the smell of the meadow you had from spending time in the forest. You also smelled like Vanilla, which he guessed was from the time you spent in the kitchen during the summer as you mentioned in one owl. Ominis was right. He hated the fact that he was, but he can’t deny it. He was absolutely, completely, and madly in love with you.

“How is Anne?” You asked, bringing him back to reality with a tender voice. “We exchanged owls for a bit this summer but I didn’t want to bother her too much.”

“You didn’t. She was actually ecstatic whenever she got an owl from you.” Said Sebastian. “She is good, as much as possible.”

You nodded. “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you find-“

“I told you,” Sebastian stopped you. “Don’t apologize, you have done more than enough.”

You nodded but he could see you were not convinced. He was right though, you had done more than enough. You got yourself involved in dark magic, which you were repelled by and tried so hard to stay away from. You hated dark magic, but you did anything for him, including believing in him that he would make the right decision in the end.

And he let you down. Only thanks to you, things did not go downhill completely.

“Well, I’m excited to start the new year!” You said smiling. “The castle felt so empty without any of my friends.”

“I knew you would miss me.” Said a voice and Garreth Weasley appeared a moment later.

That guy. Thought Sebastian. He had to watch you and him whispering and giggling in potions class all of last year. It was unbearable. He felt like Garreth casually flirted with you, as he himself did, which scared him more since he did it because he had feelings for you. He suspected Garreth had feelings as well, but he hoped with every ounce of his body he was wrong.

“Garreth!” You exclaimed, a little too enthusiastically if you ask him, and wrapped your arms around him too.

Garreth smiled and returned your hug. “Missed you, potion partner.”

She smiled after she broke the hug. “Me too.”

Don’t be jealous, Sebastian, he told himself. You don’t have the right to.

But Merlin, it was stronger than him. His emotions always were.

“Any hugs left for me?” Said Natty.

You gasped and a moment later hugged her tight. “Natty I missed you! I haven’t seen you all summer! How was your trip?”

“Very fun, and very interesting. I missed all of you though.”

“We did too! Come on, Poppy and Adelaide are over there, they would be so happy to see you.” You said and took Natty by the hand towards the two Hufflepuff girls.

“So, Sebastian,” said Garreth. “I heard you are Slytherin’s seeker this year too.”

“I am. And the best one if may I add.”

“Don’t be too cocky now. I am the captain of Gryffindor, and sorry to tell you, but we will have no mercy for you. This year the cup shall belong to Gryffindor.”

Sebastian smiled. “In your dreams, Weasley.”

“My dreams often come true, Sallow.”

“Alright everyone!” Said the principal. “Take your sits by the table, the sorting ceremony will start soon.”

 

Later that night, you sat on your bed while brushing yout hair. Poppy folded some of her clothes and sorted them into different piles while Adelaide laid down in hers, fiddling with her wand.

“I’m so happy you girls are here, it was quiet without you.”

“We are happy too!” Said poppy, smiling. “I missed you girls, and this place.”

“So y/n, speaking of our late-night talks, how are things going with Sebastian Sallow?” Asked Adelaide.

You blushed. You remembered the way you talked about him last year, and the night you finally admitted to her roommates you have a crush on the Slytherin boy.

“There is nothing going, really.”

“Why not?” Said Poppy, pouting. “I’m pretty sure he returns your feelings.“

“Well, I’m not. Not really. And he is busy with his sister I just don’t want to add more to his plate.”

“We just want you to be happy.” Said Adelaide.

You smiled. “I know. And I am. Those feelings will probably go away.”

“If you say so.” Said Poppy, unconvinced.

“They have to.” You whispered so low, only she could hear.

 

You didn’t know when you fell asleep, but you woke up to the sound of Adelaide’s and Poppy’s voices.

“Are you okay?” Asks Poppy nervously.

Adelaide started patting your brow with a towel. “My poor girl, you are sweating.”

“What happened?”

“You started mumbling and then crying,” when Adelaide said it, you instinctively moved your hand to your cheeks, feeling a wet trail of tears. “And you sounded terrified.”

You sighed. “They are back.”

“What?” asked Poppy, a confused look on her face.

“Since professor Fig died, I have been having nightmares. They were absent for a while now, but it seems they have returned.”

“Nightmares?” Asked Poppy, shocked.

“Don’t worry, at least this time I don’t remember them. Most of the time they are so vivid, they burn in my head.”

“Blimey! It … sounds dreadful, y/n.” Said poppy.

“Oh, well … just one of the numerous side effects I guess.” She was frustrated, but did not want to keep the girls up for too long. They did not look as if they were going to let it go so smoothly, though.

“y/n, you have to do something about those.” Said Adelaide, sitting beside you and petting your back.

“Don’t worry,” you smiled at your friends. “I shall go to the hospital wing tomorrow. Perhaps the nurse will have a fix for me.”

“Okay.” nodded Poppy. “Can we do anything else for you? for the moment being?”

You just shook your head. “No, thank you though. Let’s all just go to sleep and try and get some rest.”

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 2 coming very soon because Chapter 1 is the weakest I have written and I'm excited about the next one <3

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow fluff #sebastian sallow fanfiction #sebastian sallow x you #sebastian sallow x reader

[anonofseasons]

The reason the rest of Seasons went up is that I figured I'd better just do it before I lost all drive to share ever again and didn't at least complete Seasons for the remaining readers. It's the only thing I've written (outside of fandom) that has gotten much attention. It was nice, and I really appreciate that anyone would read it. But outside of that, I cannot get more than the tiniest handful of people to care about what I write, and it has been that way for years. It's discouraging, I'll be honest. My already-low confidence keeps taking beatings. I used to be more active with fandoms and posting fics, but one fandom/ship soured the experience for me. (Long story short, a lot of that ship's writers were bullied out by much more prominent writers. One of those popular writers mocked content from my fics in vaguetweets every time I posted, and I couldn't keep calling it a coincidence after a while.) I'd hear "you only write manbabies" (yeah more than once) and "you write too much of this" or be told my characterization wasn't realistic. But mostly? It just goes ignored. So I think, "I have to work harder and be better so people will be interested in reading it."

I don't know how other people manage to get word out about their writing. AO3 is great for sharing what I don't plan to publish/what can't be published, but what about what I do want published? I want to be a career author. And I struggle bc I'm dealing with problems that have a hand in worsening each other: financial struggles, living with my shitty parents, and bad health/disabilities. I need something in my life to work out for once. The pressure is on to be successful at something, but I just keep getting older and physically worse. My friend is willing to take me in when they find a place, we hope that's this year, but I can't live off of them, and I can't just sometimes cook and clean when I have spoons to make up for that. I need an income. I want writing to work out. But it just dies on my social media, with very few interactions, if any at all. I had a ton of stuff I wanted to finish for Seasons this month and into October to share with everyone in my excitement. But I'm losing my will to share anything. I only feel foolish when I try. Everything I do only proves my critics right, so it's embarrassing. Why even bother to try? It's been fourteen years of trying to get anything I write seen. I don't plan to stop writing btw, it's the sharing that's so difficult. I've been told countless times to write for myself when I express my despair, and guess what? That's good advice I've been taking this entire time! Who else could I be trying to please at this point? I have no one to please lmao, it's just me doing stuff I wanna do! The reaction to the ending of Seasons has me hesitant to give up on sharing, bc clearly lots of people connected to it in different ways, and that's wonderful. It makes me think sharing isn't so bad! But I just don't know if - at my age and health - if I can keep trying. I have two books I want to self-publish soon, and they feel like they'll just end up like everything else I post over at @mcalhenwrites - 6 notes and 5 of them are my reblogs! (And it's the same across all social media platforms - or it's even worse.) I'm really thankful that sharing Seasons gave me a taste of what it was like to connect with people through my writing, though. I don't think any of the people who commented or sent me asks realize how much it really helped me through this year, but it did. I started to have a little hope that maybe it wasn't a skill issue on my part, at least? ;A; And here's the thing: I don't really hate my writing all that much. I just fear it's got things wrong with it that I can't recognize, and that's what's putting potential readers off. I do believe my hard work shows, but hard work =/= good enough. My style is getting closer to the skill level I dreamed of having. I'm proud of my characters. But what's missing? I know that being a creator of any kind - even professional - is extremely tough, especially right now. I know this is a struggle for a lot of authors, artists, etc. :'( I just... I want to write as a career so I can keep doing more of it. I rarely have the spoons to keep up with anything. Writing is flexible. I love doing it! I just want to explain how I feel and what I'm dealing with, and why I'm so desperate. If you read this, know that it really helps creators to have our work recommended, boosted, etc. Authors matter as much as artists. I've been trying to train myself for the nth time to not be online and talk about my writing in any capacity. It hasn't worked before - I'm always too stupid to commit to giving up - but at what point in 14 years of complete failure with a side of humiliation does one just learn to give up? And to give some further insight into my thinking process: when I uploaded the remaining chapters, I put Seasons in my private collection (which holds 87 of my works out-of-bounds to anyone but me) so I could upload all the chapters without risking annoying my subscribers. Since 11 chapters in one night is a bit much, eh? :') Ugh, idk why tumblr won't let me edit anything or post long stuff. So I'm cutting this short I guess!

#this is a bit of a long post sorry

[j-nipper-95]

20 Questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tags for this @theearlgreymage and @wellbelesbian. I'm so slow at responding to these sorts of posts. Also, this one is going to be a little tricky, as I only have the one fic up on AO3, so I will be throwing in a few stats from my original novel, 'A Survivor's Revenge', as well.

How many works do you have on AO3?

Currently just the one, 'The Trails We Blaze'. But there is also ASR, my long term original novel, that I'm going to be focussing on again in November.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

TTWB currently has a published word count of 20,059 words, with a total of 68,238. (the will only continue to grow - there's still so much of the original plot of El Dorado to adapt for this AU!) ASR on the other hand is already a monster. Before I split the original draft in two to make the first two books, the draft came in at around 130k, incomplete. Currently, the first book is sitting at 78,278 words.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Carry On. It's also the only fandom I read fanfic for.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

I'm still shocked by how well Trails is doing after only a month or so of posting, so thank you thank you THANK YOU for showing this fic so much love. 1,247 kudos is more than I thought the fic would ever get in its entirety, and we're barely scratching the surface of this chaotic journey.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I've loved replying to comments on this fic. It's so nice to know that the fic is resonating with people, and what everyone enjoys about the chapters. I especially love when people pick up on lines from canon, and even mention things I didn't consciously notice when I was writing that reference canon. And just getting to nerd out about the research that's gone into this fic. Anyone who knows me IRL knows how much of a classics nerd I am (unsurprising given I have two degrees), and it's been fun flexing those muscles again. It's also been wonderful seeing what resonates with people over here on tumblr when I share snippets of ASR for WIPsDays. Everyone in the CO fandom has been so supportive of me sharing those snippets, and I can't wait for the day when I get to share Lauren and her story properly with the world.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Trails is unlikely to be especially angsty (I haven't actually planned the ending, but if we're going by the ending of El Dorado, there's likely to be a happy ending. But I don't know, it's a mystery to me at this point!) ASR on the other hand ... Book 1 and book 2 have especially angsty endings. Where the series as a whole is concerned, let's just say I made myself cry when I wrote a line for a scene from the final book. It'll be multiple books of build up for a gut wrenching finale. Only one character is guaranteed to survive from the entire cast. You have been warned.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

None so far, but it's likely to be Trails. Only time will tell!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

So far, no. Everyone has been so so lovely with feedback about ASR and Trails!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I am an aro/ace bean who's not really experienced much, so whenever I try to write smut I struggle due to lack of practical experience (that's such a clinical way to put it, but brain no work right now, so that's the best way I can think to phrase it). But if I ever do write anything considered smutty, I try to focus on the emotions and sensations rather than the act itself. I love to read fic where the emotional intimacy is front and centre, but won't turn my nose up at reading some really raunchy debauched sex. As someone who's questioned her sexuality multiple times since first coming out I've lived under multiple labels before finding the one that suited me. Grey ace, ace bi-romantic, demisexual bi-romantic, I've thought all of them fit me at one time or another. It wasn't until last year that I realised dating wasn't working for me, it never would work for me, and that was ok. Aro/Ace isn't a zero sex/zero emotions identity, it's a spectrum in itself, and I've finally found something that suits me. Back on the topic of smut I write, I haven't written anything smutty for Trails yet beyond some heated kisses and heavy breathing. Maybe some rolling of hips. But I will be taking that M rating to its limit, don't you worry! As for ASR, again, nothing majorly smutty has been written, at least not what I would consider majorly smutty. Just a lot of emotional pining, and a bit of foreplay that starts to lead somewhere, and then DRAMA.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Back when I was first getting into creative writing (we're talking pre-teen/very early teens Jess, before ASR was even a vague concept), I wrote fanfic without even realising that's what I was doing. It was just a self insert series of stories that crossed over with multiple franchises, as well as straight up stealing plot points and tropes from other franchises. Will I tell you what they were? Absolutely not! And they will never see the light of day, because they are absolutely God-awful!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of, and I hope that never happens.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd love it if someone ever wanted to. For ASR especially it would be incredible to see it translated and reach more people around the world. Seeing published authors announcing translation deals is something I aspire to!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, but I suppose you could call Trails and Art-Collab fic, because Ashton's art is fucking fantastic!! Whenever I get to posting day and I wake up to see an art DM from her I get so excited! The style she's gone with for this fic was something we talked about for a while and she's just excellent at capturing the images and emotions I hope my writing is portraying. Ashton is a gem, and I am beyond lucky and don't know what I did to deserve her as a friend!!!

14. What's your favourite all time ship?

SnowBaz have been an obsession since mid-2021, and they show no signs of relinquishing the top spot in my heart when it comes to fandom ships. But it'd be remiss of me not to mention my OC's here. Lauren and Mike are my chaotic, dramatic, hopelessly and cluelessly in love MC's for ASR. You know how Baz pines in CO ... yeah, we're talking similar levels, if not slightly above that for Lauren and Mike. One of my favourite messages from my alpha reader was 'How in the hell did these idiots ever think their feelings were platonic?', and honestly, I don't even know. AND I WROTE THEM!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'm working on an epic high fantasy saga with a friend that we describe as 'Japanese mythology meets J R R Tolkein'. It's so fun writing with someone else, as we both have different strengths. Nori is very much at home with the darker elements, the world building, and character development, whilst I love writing the character relationships, romances, and political manoeuvrings. It's just difficult when you're in different parts of the country, and both have other WIPs you're working on. Maybe one day this saga will see the light of day.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I used to think this was a weakness, but since working on ASR edits I think I've become better attriting action sequences. At least, the comments on Trails have led me to believe this. I hope. Since writing that opening chase scene through Southwark it's really bolstered my confidence. But I think my main strength is dialogue full of banter and flirting. Give me a chance to have two characters in a room just bouncing off each other. No need for dialogue tags, just back and forth dialogue. Flirty dialogue is some of my favourite to write, and both SnowBaz and Lauren and Mike allow me to do this in spades! I also think writing pining is a strength, but that is a double edged sword that can cut the wielder if not used sparingly. Pining is great, when not overdone, and I'm praying I've not overdone it with Trails.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Action and intimate sequences are still aspects of writing I struggle with, and I'll tell you why. Pacing. Pacing is my nemesis. I just want to get from point A to point B and move on to the next scene. I know first drafts don't have to be perfect, but yeah ... pacing in certain scenes within first drafts is my biggest struggle.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I had to work out how I was going to tackle this for Trails with the most recent chapters I've been writing. HOW DO YOU WRITE A LANGUAGE THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST, AND IN YOUR FIC HAS BEEN DEAD FOR MILLENNIA? Atlantean has been a pain to try and work out, and I'm still figuring out a way to write the language itself in dialogue. I really want to try and get some actual Ancient Greek in here as well at some point, so if anyone wants to help translate some riddles and prophecies for me, hit me up! I'm a bad Classicist and never learnt any ancient languages!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published: Carry On The secret ones I'll never show anyone: that knowledge goes with me to my grave.

20. Favourite fic you've written?

Trails is my only published fanfic, therefore it is my favourite. But also I love the source material (both 'Carry On' and 'The Road to El Dorado) so much. But my favourite fiction I've written, out of all the original ideas and bad fanfic, has to be 'A Survivor's Revenge'. These characters and their story have been on my mind for the last fourteen years in some form or another, they are my babies, and I don't know what my life would look like without them in it. Lauren is my favourite morally grey chaos gremlin, and I'm so glad other people like reading about her whenever I share snippets.

Ok, so tagging. I have no idea who has and hasn't done this already, so I'm sorry in advance if you don't want to do this/already have done. Just think of it as me saying hi and how much I love the work you all do!

@aristocratic-otter @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cosmicalart @fatalfangirl @larkral @palimpsessed @phoxphyre

#20 questions #baby fanfic writer #snowbaz #cotta 2023 #the trails we blaze #original fiction #science fiction #espionage #a survivor's revenge

[thefreakandthehair]

✨ 2022 ao3 wrapped ✨

thank you for the tag, @pizzaqueen @hexmionegranger @flashyysins @unclewaynemunson! I adore all of you :')

Works Published: 14

Word Count: 78,639 [not including the roughly 50k currently unpublished until January!]

Hits: 52,347 [holy fuCK you guys?!!?!]

Bookmarks: 1,944

Most popular by kudos: and if I get burned, at least we were electrified. explicit, 9.2k. [I loved writing that one so much, I think I was possessed but the response to it was beyond anything I could've imagined for a little Halloween oneshot!]

Most hits: livin' on a prayer, explicit. 17.9k. [totally makes sense because that was my first steddie fic back in August! also my first piece of writing since literally 2013 so again, I'm shocked and awed that it garnered any kinda audience.]

Longest: kind of cheating here because the longest published is also livin' on a prayer, but over the hills and far away is the longest thing I've ever written at 75% done and 50k.

Shortest: hush when no one is around, my dear. teen and up, 1.1k! [a request based on a prompt from @corrodedcoughin where Dustin finds a cute note from Steve to Eddie in a DnD manual.]

Most comments: once again, and if I get burned, at least we were electrified. [but funny enough, a cute fluffy oneshot I wrote isn't it obvious? is very close!]

Fic that made me cry: counting stars (when I look in your eyes), teen and up, 6.3k. [this was my christmas fic for the spicy six challenge and for several reasons, I cried writing it. I really do project onto Eddie so fuckin' much.]

Fic that made me smile: i made this mess with love., explicit, 3.9k. [this was a steddie+ bar fight request from my bestie @bayouteche and I may or may not have included us as little side characters because why the fuck not? writing us into that very small scene really made me laugh!]

Gifts: simple twist of fate. teen and up, 3.3k. [this was for the fruity four halloween gift exchange with the prompt of Steve/Eddie and Robin/Nancy coparenting the party.] also special shoutouts to gifts I've received because they've been INCREDIBLE: Adventures in Flirting by @misspanicdead and boston cream by @fruityfourgalore <3333

Events: other than the spicy six winter fic challenge [which BY THE WAY holy SHIT I'm gonna compile everything into a masterlist at some point soon but you all fuckin' rock, seriously. I didn't think it was gonna take off the way it did and I love every single one of you for making it a thing that made it all the way to TikTok!], I also participated in the fruity four halloween gift exchange [simple twist of fate], @eddieismissing's halloween challenge [requiem for a nightmare.], and the @strangerthingsbigbang which okay, technically not completed until january but whatever, I'm counting it for this year too.

tagging: (I know this has been going around so if you were already tagged or already did it, ignore me &lt;3) @bayouteche @sharpbutsoft @henrystars @kkpwnall @flowercrowngods @withacapitalp @hotcocoaharrington @stevieclaus @solosnail @strawberryspence and literally anyone else, this is me tagging everyone who wants to get in on this :')

#steddie #tag game #ao3 wrapped #myfic #i love all of you so sos so much i cannot put it into words #not just the friends tagged here but every single one of you! #2022 was not the best year for me in general despite some big positives #and getting back into writing really provided an outlet and to do that with such incredible people here? what a fucking gift #i stopped writing in 2013 for shitty reasons and didn't started again until this august #so i really couldn't have imagined this at the start of the year #lore and more

[brainshock-alpha]

a while ago i was tagged by @go-go-devil to answer twenty fic writers' questions... i've been preddy busy so i'm just getting around to it now lol. thanks for thinking of me velvet!

this turned out quite long so i'm gonna do my tags up here -- @boyfrillish @pastryglitch @firethekitty -- as usual participation is voluntary, tagged or not :) do these q's if u think it would be fun. that's all

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

35 (includes users-only works)

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

146,365, for an average of ~4,182 words per work. but really, it's just like four of my long multichapter works skewing the average that high.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

in a strict present-tense sense, it's just pokemon. i've written for a slightly odd variety of fandoms in the past; anyone curious enough to check will readily observe that i go through fandoms in neatly stratified phases lol. i don't tend to be actively involved in more than one at a time.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Black Box Open (st*rdew valley) - 373

Transfer Point (pokemon bw) - 279

Vital Signs (biosh*ck infinite) - 146

Tidal Lock (hylis) - 107

Moonstruck (hylis) - 93

censoring fandoms so i don't appear in searches (excepting pokemon cuz i'm pretty sure those results are basically unreadable lol). anyway i can't believe vital signs is that high up there lmaooo but everything else seems reasonable

5. Do you respond to comments?

i try to but sometimes it slips my mind and then it's too late to reply without it being weird :( whether i got around to replying or not, i'm grateful to everyone who said sth nice on my stuff 🙏

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

uhhhh honestly i don't get super angsty with my fics, especially not the endings lol. simpley not my style... i guess transfer point ended on a rather bittersweet note. born with a weak heart would have been even more so, if i'd ever finished it.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

on the other hand i also don't write fics with particularly saccharine endings either. it's kinda just, oh this is pleasant/cute/hopeful :) i wouldn't say there's a clear winner.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

so far, any haters have kept their thoughts to themselves, which is good. i suppose my writing is usually quite benign anyway lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

i have a few unfinished drafts lying around but i've never published anything. (unless you count that one with piers/emmet? it's nsfw for sure but i think you'd be setting the wrong expectations if u called it smut lol.) anyway i'm not terribly interested in going into detail here.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

again, i've attempted to draft some in the past but never got close to finishing any of them. i think i'm more likely to draw a weird crossover than write one :p

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

i've uhhhh translated my own fic once??? i guess that counts but i wouldn't say i did a good job LOL -- i'd written a supershort 200-word thing in both english and scots, and i haven't studied scots all that extensively. but it was fun to try, and somehow the scots version got more attention than the english one lol

anyway, if anyone's ever interested in translating my works, feel free to reach out! i'd be happy to help out by answering questions/clarifying meaning/etc :)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nop! it's not really something i've ever considered, but i suppose in theory i'd be open to trying it.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

god i can't give just one answer to an all-time favorite anything LOL. uhhh deduswayne still has a special place in my heart; the autistic jock/autistic nerd dynamic i gave them was so fresh and fun to me... i love raileon despite not ever really writing it ooooops... and then griebold is my newest interest, which is quite funny since raileon is one of the most popular pokemon ships on ao3 but griebold is so unheard of that i'm literally the only person to have posted an english-language work for it there lmfao

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

probably... the bede&hop post-canon qpr fic... i really would love to write a qpr (as well as non-romantic relationship drama in general) but it's another sprawling multichapter thing and idk if i have it in me :^(

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue and character dynamics hehe... that's what's most fun for me to write too. i also like to believe i'm good at writing a ship without losing sight of the individual chars involved. and i'm pretty good with spelling and grammar, contrary to what my casual fucking around on tumblr posts may imply LOL. i may not always write in the clearest or most beautiful way, but by god that syntax is solid

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

description lol. i am not a poet by any means; i think it will not surprise anyone to know i did better in linguistics classes than in english.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

do it if 1) you're able to put in the effort and 2) it makes sense to do it. on point 1, i don't think there's anything wrong with saying that chars are speaking in another language but rendering the actual written dialogue in english (or whatever ur mother tongue may be), especially if it's not a language ur fluent in. of course it's good to do research for ur writing but language learning is hard, doubly so if ur trying to write those chars speaking casually. cuz you can't really pick that up from reference texts, or maybe you can but it comes out sounding odd and unnatural. (think of how easy it is to mess up english slang/colloquialisms.) BUT you know, perfect is the enemy of good, and if ur willing to give it the ol college try then i really think it'll help ur foreign-lang-speaking chars feel more alive.

on point 2, i'm mostly thinking of the context of multilingual chars, which adds another layer of complexity. this old post will give u an idea of what i mean. if you're monolingual and mostly only interact with other monolinguals, you may find it difficult to write bilinguals believably. i suggest looking up info on code-switching and, more generally, language learning and bilingualism. (and also heritage languages, which fall under bilingualism but have their own specific features.) again, this is pretty demanding stuff and i wouldn't blame you for just sticking to english dialogue, but i do think it's worth a shot.

have i tried this myself? yes, most prominently in the day to end all days, and also a bit in my other swsh fics... oh yeah, i guess i also made siebold use quebec french swears lol. mind you, i'm under no illusion that i write it well. no one has told me yet that i'm fucking it up, but also no one's told me i'm doing a good job either lol. so idkkkkk

19. First fandom you wrote for?

st*rdew valley... i loved that game so much that it motivated me to start making fanfics and fanart haha. i started posting black box open about eight years ago, which if you'll recall is the fic i have the most kudos on. it was all downhill from there buddy!!!!!!!!!!! lol i'm just kidding, i really just tend not to write for popular fandoms is the thing (or when a fandom is at its most popular)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

honestly it's usually just Whichever Fic I Posted Most Recently lmao. i guess that's not bad, that means i feel like i improve with every story or w/e. i'm still really attached to the day to end all days, though. it's not finished yet (and won't be for quite some time) but it has the most involved plot yet out of all my fics, and it explores some really interesting character spaces too.

#brainshock-alfic

[pocketofpencils]

Questions for Writers

10000 years late! thank you @calunalilly for tagging me

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

a very modest 19 lol

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

163,620

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Last Tango in Halifax

Happy Valley

Collateral

1 Vigil fic lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1: The Equation of Mass. : Caroline/Jane christmas fic. My first ever loooooooong one.

2: I Want You To See Me: Caroline/Gillian. Glasses are annoying, lets kiss about it.

3: Welcome Home: Vigil fic lol First ever thing I published on the internet.. Only 412 o words, thought people would hate it but I still get kudos and bookmarks on it 3 years later lol

4: Brunhilde and the Bastard in the Barn: Catherine/Jane Current WIP/Pain in the arse lol. Getting ready to wrap it up :')

5: Pain and the Passing of time: Caroline/Gillian. First LTIH fic, in first person *gag*. Makes me cringe, but also surprises me that I wrote that!

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try really hard to! My inbox overwhelms me sometimes haha! But I appreciate and read every comment I get! So thank you to the like 2 people who are probably reading this haha.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It is yet to be written! But I do have a mildly angsty one in mind.. Not a not happy ending.. Just happyish lol

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Equation of Mass I guess. Most Fluffiest

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No! Thankfully. I only write there for fun. Any hate (that isn't warranted of course call me out if I fuck up) would probably make me stop posting haha.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes.. Im a much better smut reader than writer I can tell you that lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I mean at this point I think we have just accepted Jane into the Happy Valley landscape, so much so that its sometimes hard to remember she's plucked straight (or gay ;)) from another show. So I guess almost all of my works are crossovers haha

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

lol hands off my garbage

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Ive had to explain words to my American friends.. does that count?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I just did my first colab with @calunalilly! I think were going for another..or 1000 <.< lol

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

All the pairings I write for are my faves. i also love Mirandy :')

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Lmao well anything Ive started I always have doubts I will complete. I am (very very slowly) writing my first book...and I have doubts but I am working through them!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I dont really know.. I think jokes? Funny is most important!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

lol Grammar, formatting, imposter syndrome, actually writing lol. All things that I am working on. I also need to plan better to stop writing plot holes lmao. remembering fic is just for fun!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Do what you want bro lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published: Vigil.. I also wrote some unpublished Killing Eve and Doctor Who fics that will never see the light of day as I wrote them by hand (lol) and lost the notebook I wrote them in. So I hope who ever found that notebook enjoyed them lmaoooo

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ahhhhhh I dont know. I think Year of the Dog was the first one I wrote and was like: "Ok I can do this writing thing".

Everyone I would tag, has already done it so... :)