#Victoria would be the only one who knows how to cook

[cleve-in-a-can]

Can you imagine if The Allience all lived together in an apartment?

#Feel free to use this concept Ig #I can already imagine the chaos #Victoria would be the only one who knows how to cook #lbp2 #Allience

[angelstate]

FWB!Ghost x InloveFemReader.

FWB!Ghost who hates commitment, he doesn’t care about being in a relationship or romantic shit in the slightest, so you don’t even try to come asking for anything else than meaningless sex because he won’t give it to you, he doesn’t have the stomach to do so, neither the heart capable of feeling that sort of things.

FWB!Ghost only knows how to fuck you rough and hard, to make you feel more pain than pleasure, and fill your skin with bite marks and bruises. he doesn’t know gentleness nor care to learn, aftercare is fucking nonexistent with him, if you feel shitty after fucking then you better dress quickly and figure it out in your own house because he is too tired to care.

FWB!Ghost pretends like nothing happens between the two of you when there are people around, he won’t fuck you in the bathroom of a random bar or a dark alleyway, he wants no part in being associated with you in a romantic way. sex is just sex with him, nothing else so don’t get ideas on your mind, he won’t entertain them.

FWB!Ghost is as loving as a rock, with no emotions other than sarcasm and anger coming from him. He doesn’t understand why to stick around but doesn’t care enough to ask, one day you’ll leave him, it is only a matter of time, so he keeps himself clueless on how you see him so as not to strain the “friendship” you have in any way. (he doesn’t consider you a friend)

FWB!Ghost tried to pay you after the first time you had sex because he didn’t want you to think he took advantage of you or that he loved you in any way, it was just an exchange, a way for him to take out his frustration and for you…he isn’t sure what you get but it must be good because you keep coming back to him.

FWB!Ghost who definitely fucks other women, you aren’t the first or the last on the long list of people he has put his dick inside of, but you are the only one that stuck around and the only one he allows to stick around, no matter how much he tries to deny it, he feels like he owes it to you, maybe because he tried to pay you the first time he fucked you, maybe because you were a friend of Soap first that got introduced to a disgusting man like himself or maybe he just feels a bit guilty of how he treats you constantly (he doesn’t change though, at least not for a very long time.)

FWB!Ghost isn’t all bad at times, if you’re telling him something he listens to you till you finish, he sometimes buys you things you want, all sex-related of course, and he isn’t going to pretend he cares about your interest (he does care) he has been more times at a sex store and victoria secret than at a grocery store in the last 3 months.

FWB!Ghost secretly does enjoy spending time with you, don’t get him wrong, he values solitude and having space for himself, but you are good company, you please him in more ways than you just in the bedroom, you cook his favorite foods, watch horror movies even though he knows you hate them, you listen to the little information he gives you about his missions like his words are manuscripts from the bible.

FWB!Ghost loves little things in life, and he would never open his heart for anything or anyone that can hurt him, he doesn’t allow it out of self-preservation, having learned from his past experiences, he loved his family and they were dead because of him, he doesn’t want more blood on his hands, not of the people he loves. (but he doesn’t love you, right?)

FWB!Ghost is comfortable in silence, but with you being oh-so-quiet when you often talk till you have nothing more to say is definitely a strange sight, one that takes his breath away and makes him want to throw up. because he knows silence from you means something is eating you alive so much so you can’t speak.

so he watches you with careful yet empty eyes, nothing is ever really quiet with you, you’re a stubborn woman and he knows that, he knows you like the back of his hand, so when you stare at him, doe eyes full of something he can read it brings a set of emotions he thought he had buried a long time ago. and when you open your mouth to speak but stay silent it becomes his breaking point. “spit it out, will you?” he speaks, his tone rude even though he doesn’t mean to sound that way.

he sees your eyes become wider for a second, bringing your knees to your chest and looking away from him. He hates when when you shut him out of the sight that is your face, always so expressive he doesn’t even have to hear you to know what you think. “I can't do this anymore, I don’t want to do this anymore” you finally speak and time freezes for a second.

Stranger!Ghost doesn’t regret a lot of things in life, nothing burdens his heart to the point of continuous regret, to undying guilt…except you. He knows he wasn’t a kind man, he didn’t know kindness then and doesn’t know it now, but looking back he knows he should’ve learned for you, he should’ve allowed himself to love and accept that letting someone into his life and heart wouldn’t be a death sentence for that person.

Stranger!Ghost isn’t an honest man at all, but when he’s alone and his feeling catch up to him he can’t help to accept he indeed loves you, that he cared about you more than himself, and that he wished to be your lover, to be your husband to…to have a fucking family and a dog and all that corny shit he swore he hated for years.

He had an unknown hope for you to not give up on him back then, to always stick around no matter what because that’s exactly what you did for a long time, you were there and wore the bruises he gave you with honor and love he never understood, he did now.

He saw something shift in you the night you told him you couldn’t keep him around anymore, he remembers your words, they are engraved in his mind so strongly that they keep him up at night sometimes, and when he is drunk he thinks of calling, to confirm you don’t want him anymore.

Stranger!Ghost who can’t help but get drunk and let a few tears fall when he finds out through Soap that you had gotten married to your first love and were now pregnant, waiting to welcome a little girl into the world, and that your husband had gifted you a puppy as to complete the family.

Stranger!Ghost heart aches at the fact he isn’t the man who made you a mother and that he isn’t the father of your child, but he knows not to come into your life again, you deserve peace and build a family without ever facing him again, he wasn’t going to be cruel to you again, he was going to stay away out of love for you, love you will never know about.

#cod x reader #call of duty #cod mw2 #fanfic #cod mw3 #call of duty x reader #cod modern warfare #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #ghost x you #ghost riley #ghost x y/n #ghost x female reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #simon riley x reader #ghost call of duty #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x y/n #simon ghost x you #angst #ghost angst

[chrisevansonly]

could i please request a lewis hamilton fic based on this scene in the new Beckham documentary of him and victoria dancing in their kitchen, maybe it got recorded and social media blew up. Thank youu!

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGJTquTfF/

my first lewis request🥹🥹 this makes it feel special to blurb it!!!! idk why but i imagined dancing in the kitchen to valentine by laufey so listen to it if you so wish! i hope you enjoy

the kitchen was your favourite spot to be, cooking had been a passion of yours for years, and your boyfriend lewis always invited you over to his flat to let you cook for him, knowing his kitchen was a dream come true for you. you’d set your phone up to try a new recipe, music playing softly through the speaker on the far counter.

“hi darling”

looking over your shoulder at lewis you smiled softly, his lips pressing a kiss to your cheek

“hi my love, is the music too loud? i know you were working a little bit upstairs”

he was quick to shake his head

“not at all, i’m all done now…i recognized the song..do you?”

pausing you listened closely, hearing the tell tale tune of laufey spilling through the speakers. a song you and lewis had danced to at a friends wedding many summers ago when you’d first met

“this was the night i finally told you i liked you…”

“you were so nervous, it was quite cute”

he grabbed your hands gently, bringing them to his chest before settling them around him as you got the message he was trying to convey: he was asking you to dance

“ever the romantic lew?”

“for you? always baby”

there were many memories you cherished with lewis over the few years you’d both been together, but this one has to take the cake. there was nothing else that would compare to slow dancing with the man of your dreams to the song that brought you both together, lewis was your forever valentine, just as you were his.

“just wait until we dance at our wedding”

“this is why we’re practicing”

looking up at him you saw no trace of joking behind his eyes, if there was anything lewis was serious about it was that he was going to marry you. that thought only made dancing with him more special to you, quickly leaning up you pressed a kiss to his lips

“i can’t wait until it’s for real…but for now, this is so special to me…in every way”

“that’s how i want you to feel everyday, because you are special to me”

moving your hand to wrap around his neck, you couldn’t help but shake your head, trying to ward away the emotions you could feel building

“i love you more than you’ll ever know lew”

you leaned forward to rest your head on his chest, his arms holding you to him ever so gently, that constant comfort washing over you that only he could provide

“not as much as i love you..”

there was no one else who was more perfect for lewis than you, and no one was more perfect for you than lewis was. anyone could see the true love and tenderness that surrounded your relationship, and right here, in the dimly lit kitchen as you swayed to laufey, there was nowhere else you’d ever want to be…you were right where you were supposed to be

#rueswrites #ruesanswers #ruesanons<3 #ruesasks #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton x female reader #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton drabble #lewish hamilton blurb #lewis hamilton x fem!reader #formula 1 masterlist #formula 1 fanfiction #formula 1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic #formula 1 blurb

[azwhore]

husband alex turner x wife reader

warnings: nun but fluff <3

<><><>

It’s been a while since you’ve last seen Alex. He’s been on tour for The Car for six months and have only seen him on a few occasions. You couldn’t go with him and the band due to work; you were forced to stay behind despite your attempts to go with them.

The last time you and Alex had seen each other was about two months ago. The only reason you were able to see him was for an interview he had in which you were invited to. He begged you to go with him even though you didn’t like doing so. Alex knows that. You’ve always hated being interviewed with him because it felt like the interviewers were trying to pry into your private relationship. What went on between Alex and you was for you two only, not for the public.

After a long day at work, you come home exhausted. You’re eager to shower, eat some dinner, and just relax. Who wouldn’t be? So when you get home, that’s exactly what you do. An “everything” shower was desperately needed after the week you’ve had.

Once done with your shower, you put on a comfy set of pajamas. A grey tank top and white sweats, perfect. You decide on some perfume, even though you won’t be around anyone for the rest of the night. You put on your Victoria’s Secret Bare roll-on perfume. It’s your favorite.

You finish getting dressed and make your way to the kitchen to make dinner. Deciding on what you’ve taken out, you make pollo guisado (chicken stew). It was one of your favorites. Mom always made it when you were younger.

After some time, you finish cooking and feast on it. Man, were you a damn good cook. One good meal later, you settle in your queen sized bed that you shared with Alex. You miss him. You miss his warm body cuddling. You miss his soothing voice.

You soon dwell no more on that, as you were almost on the brink of tears. You pick up your book that you were currently reading on the nightstand, How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents. So far, you are greatly enjoying the book. You like analyzing it as well as it being somewhat relatable.

***

It’s 11:18 PM, about an hour and a half since you started reading. You need to get some sleep since you have work all over again tomorrow. Luckily though, tomorrow is Friday. Wonderful.

You put your book back and settle in bed. You can feel sleepiness sinking you deeper and deeper. Reveling in the feeling, you eventually fall asleep.

Suddenly, you feel something envelop around you. You wake up, anxiety beginning to course through you. Just as you are about to panic, you hear a voice whisper in your ear.

“I’ve missed you, love.” You’d recognize that voice anywhere. It’s Alex.

Turning around, you take a good look at your husband whom you haven’t seen for two months. He greets you with a smile, his hair as messy as you remember.

“Alex!” You exclaim. You couldn’t express your excitement any other way than wrapping your arms around him. Tears begin to well at your eyes, threatening to fall. You try to hold them back with all your might so you could speak with him.

“I thought you wouldn’t be able to come back for a while? How come you’re here?” You ask, bringing him into another big hug. You can feel him smiling against you as he brings his arms around your body, squeezing you against him.

“One of the shows got postponed for two weeks from now so I immediately came here. I had to see you. If I had gone another day without you, I would have gone mad.” He explained. It felt so good to see him again.

“Ugh, I’ve missed you so much.” You say. Suddenly you realize he might be hungry so you ask, “Are you hungry? There’s still some leftovers from what I made earlier. I can heat it up for you.”

“No, that’s okay. I’m just glad to be here with my wife.” He smiles. You could never get tired of his smile.

“How’s the tour so far? It looks like you and the boys are having some fun.” You laugh. Even though you aren’t going on tour with them, you still keep up sometimes. Especially with those edits of him that fangirls make. You’re not complaining since your husband is a damn fine man if you say so yourself. They should tone it down just a bit, though (don’t actually alex turner is so fine).

“Yeah it’s been awesome. The places we’ve been to have been beautiful. I really wish you could come with us, love. That would just make it 100 times better.” Alex smiles once again.

“Me too. But you already know why I can’t. If I didn’t have work, I most definitely would.” You say. It’s not like Alex wouldn’t full on support you financially; he obviously would. You, on the other hand, don’t want that. The two of you even got into a big argument once about it. He doesn’t see a problem in financially stabilizing you, but you would rather work. You still want to have a life and work for yourself. You don’t want to be just a stay-at-home wife; it’s so stereotypical of celebrity relationships. You want to make a living for yourself, and Alex now 100% understands and supports that.

“Yeah, I get it. My dear wife is so strong.” He gives you a quick kiss with a smirk. You giggle at that. Alex always knows how to make you laugh.

Some time later, you lay with each other in a comfortable silence. This was almost the best part of your relationship. You two could just sit there with your eyes closed not saying a word and you both would understand each other.

Alex lays on his back, eyes closed with his left arm wrapped around your shoulders. Your head is resting against his chest while your hand is on his stomach gently tracing circles. Your eyes were closed too as he hummed to you.

“You know, I still have to go to work tomorrow.” You break the silence. Alex hums in response.

“Do you really though? I’m going to be stuck here by myself all day without you.” He says with a pout.

“Well, I probably could call out tomorrow. One day wouldn’t hurt, right?” You question. Now that you think about it, you haven’t called out from work in a while. You should get a day off. “Hm, I think I’ll stay here with my husband. I get to enjoy a whole three days with you.” You say kind of sarcastically. Although you were anything but sarcastic. You’re more than happy to spend the rest of his two week break with him, as was he.

The both of you continue to enjoy each other’s silence, sleep overcoming you once again. Your eyes feel heavy as they slowly fall. Eventually, you succumb to your slumber, your breath evening out. Alex follows soon after with you in his arms. He really hopes these two weeks last forever.

<><><>

#alex turner #alex turner x reader #i love alex turner #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fluff #alex turner x you #fanfic #fluff #alex is such a cutie patootie #alex turner x reader fluff

[lilyrizzy]

sorry to post so much everyone, promise i will resume to writing fic only like, once every three months after this lol

“That is a very nice watch, Max.”

It’s Victoria who is the first to notice it, the two of them sat out on his and Daniel’s balcony, the August evening warm. Between them are two empty bottles of wine and a quarter full bottle of gin. Inside, her babies are sleeping on the pull out beds, and Daniel has taken Tom into their ‘hobby room’, where Max’s sim lives also, to show him the newest addition to his camera collection. Apparently the one Tom had been using to document their children as they grow died a smoky death last week, losing all the photos of baby Lio in the process.

“Daniel got it for me,” is all he says, glancing down at his wrist.

It’s Tag Heuer of course, because Max has to wear those kind with the sponsorship rules, but this one is much nicer than the big flashy ones he usually gets for free. More you, Maxy, Daniel had explained nervously when Max opened the box to see it for the first time. A classic, smooth black leather strap instead of the usual shiny silver metal, the face a little smaller, round. In the middle, where the two hands of the clock meet, a tiny little diamond that you can only see if you look close enough, like a secret. The real secret is, of course, the inscription on the back, the engraved cursive words, for my world champion.

It’s so lovely. Max hates it a little bit.

Victoria lets out a laugh that bounces loudly through the too-still night air.

“Oh no,” she says, voice teasing. “You do not like it?” When he looks up from where he’s been staring at it, her eyebrows are raised.

Max has had maybe a little too much to drink, if he’s letting his complicated feeling about the watch show on his face, but it is the summer break of course, so it’s okay, and this is his sister. Maybe he can tell her what he is sometimes too afraid to think about on his own.

“I like it,” he insists, “but-“

“Max it is okay,” she says with another laugh, her cheeks bright pink from the wine she has drunk. She says it like she is trying to help him by telling him how he feels. “Sometimes they do not always get these things right, yes? The nice thing is that they try.”

But that isn’t it. This isn’t like the time Tom brought Victoria a pair of shoes for her birthday and she had telephoned Max to ask unhappily, “do I look like the type of person who would wear Michael Kors,” like Max was supposed to know who that was. Daniel is good at presents. He is very good at making Max happy.

“I do like it,” he tries again, a little defensive now on Daniel’s behalf. His words slur together a little, and without realising it, he’s switched back to Dutch. “It is lovely, I- It even has something written just for me on the other side, so of course it is special, I just- I thought-“

He thinks back to that night, two weeks ago now, the first of summer break that they got to be alone together. The first of their break, five nights to spend in some outrageously flashy Ibiza villa that Daniel booked, 120 hours stretching out in front of them, almost too sweet like toffee.

By the pool, laughing together, as they twirled pasta around their forks. Daniel had made it for Max, one of his ‘sabbatical projects’, to get better at cooking. That way you can hire me as your chef Maxy, if I don’t get a seat, yeah? It was so nice because the rich tomato sauce almost tasted the same as Max’s favourite kind of soup, and when Max had told Daniel that his face had gone all soft the way Max loved to see it, like he’d said all the right words in the right order.

“I’ve got something for you actually,” Daniel had said then, and he’d leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth before getting from his chair to go and get his present.

When he’d come back with a black box and a shy, nervous smile on his face, Max’s heart had fluttered like there was a bird inside his chest, beating it’s wings against his ribcage. Daniel wanted to-

But then it had been a watch.

Looking at Victoria now, he can feel the wonky line his attempt of a smile makes of his mouth.

“For a moment, when he gave it to me,” he explains, thumbing over the smooth glass of the watch face, “I thought it was- I thought, maybe, a different kind of jewelry.”

It takes a few seconds for realisation to spread across his sisters features, but when it does it doesn’t make him feel any better the way he’d hoped it would to share this.

“Oh Max,” she says, reaching for his hand across the table, and he wants to recoil at her pity, “I did not- I did not even know that was something you wanted.”

Which to Max, seems like a silly thing to say, because of course it’s what he wants. He and Daniel have been together for so many years now, why would he not? It’s what you do when you love each other and want to be together always. He’d thought, maybe, now Daniel was happy again and not racing, but-

“Maybe it is not what Daniel wants,” he says with a shrug, but just saying the words out loud make his eyes sting and his throat ache. He is probably just too drunk for this conversation.

Victoria hums, like she is thinking. Over the balcony, Max can see the shimmer of the moon bouncing off the sea. His face feels so hot suddenly, like he is melting, and he imagines diving into the cool water.

“Have you two ever spoken about this?” Victoria asks, and Max just shakes his head, not looking at her. “Then how can- How can you know he does not want to? Why- You could always ask him too, you know.”

She’s right, of course. It’s just- Max doesn’t know how to explain it. That he wants it to be simple, for Daniel to want Max so much that he can’t stand to not ask him. That Max is afraid if he is the one to ask, Daniel will say yes just because he wants to give Max what he wants, and not because he wants Max.

Behind him, he hears laughter, the sound of footsteps, and Victoria’s face looks up, worried, to the sliding glass door behind him. It opens. Max wipes his eyes quickly, feeling even more foolish than before as Daniel runs a hand through his hair, presses his cheek into the top of his head, just as drunk as the rest of them and asks, “what are you two gossiping about then?”

#i scrolled for so long in my ask box seeing if there was an ask prompt this could answer but #i wrote this silliness all by myself lol #anyway there is a sequal! in my brain! where they acc are adults and talk about this and everything gets resolved if anyone is interested #but for now there is only angst lol im sorryyyyyyy #fic #max/daniel

[faebaex]

Piece of Cake!

Request:

Student Name: Máire "Mor" Cian

Gender: Female

Dorm: Diasomnia

Scenario: Growing up, she didn't learn how to cook - noblewomen were forbidden from the kitchen, her father insisted. But for her dorm fellows and those in her year (second), she wanted to break free of those old notions. Visiting the vice leader of Heartlabyul, with his help, she whipped up one lovely Victoria sponge to share with Diasomnia while managing a decent, uncomplicated but decadent fudge to parcel out to the other second-years...

-✨️ Anon (Had to try both my OCs, if you're up to it... Happy Valentine's!)

author note: sorry for the wait! this was a really cute concept, also sorry i don't know why Jade turned out so mean, he was just in a silly goofy mood today i guess. also also some accidental Trey, because i got a little carried away when setting the scene („• ֊ •„) your OC is really cute and i hope you enjoy!

characters: Trey Clover, second years, Diasomnia dorm x F!Reader (platonic or romantic, however you fancy)

“Oh… Not quite…”

You looked down at the mixing bowl, staring down at the powdery white mixture that filled the bowl. Looking back up at Trey, who was looking back at you with a kind but strained smile, you furrowed your brow in confusion. “Did I do something wrong…?”

“Ah well…” Trey’s smile falters only slightly, valiantly trying to keep a calm expression, “well you see, the next step would be to pour out the caster sugar but that’s… Icing sugar…” He gently explains and your face falls when you look down at the packet in your hand, clearly labelled ‘Icing Sugar’. You groan in frustration, feeling like an utter fool for making such a silly mistake, and Trey immediately jumps to console you, a heavy hand falling on your shoulder and he gives you a good natured shake. “Don’t worry, don’t worry, I made all sorts of mistakes when I started baking.” You look up at him, a forlorn expression on your face at his placating, not believing him one bit. Trey gives you another pat on the shoulder before beginning to guide you more closely through the steps, clearly now aware that you require his undivided attention.

Despite that, you make several more mistakes before you are done with your creations. There is a particular incident with the eggs which results in time wasted picking eggshell out of the mixture, and Trey has to make a mad dash across the kitchen at one point to grab the salt out of your hand, which you had somehow mistaken for baking powder. But regardless of your near constant kitchen mishaps, your and Trey’s combined efforts result in a fluffy Victoria sponge and a simple, yet tasty looking batch of fudge. Trey gives you a smile that makes his eyes wrinkle at the corners as he grabs the icing sugar, guiding your hands to help you sieve the icing sugar over the top of the Victoria sponge as a finishing touch. “Now this is what we use the icing sugar for.” Trey remarks with a chuckle, taking a step back to admire the pieces that you had baked together, “you did great!” He assures, a kind smile on his face as he watches you beam at your creations. You felt a surge of pride run through you as the sight of your baking, feeling that your first time in a kitchen had gone well, despite its… Challenges. Riding on your high, you even considered applying for the next Master Chef program next time applications opened.

“Thank you so much for your help, Trey!” You beamed at him as he began packing away your creations into boxes for you to take back to your dorm with you. He gave you a light smile, folding the boxes closed securely. “Not at all. You’re welcome in the Heartslabyul kitchen whenever you want to do a spot of baking again. I heard Lilia has a very… Curious taste in ingredients, so it would probably best you didn’t get influenced by… That.” He gives you an awkward smile, packing your baking boxes into a paper bag for you to carry home. You say your goodbyes and you leave the Heartslabyul dorm, a warm feeling in your heart as you head back to your dorm, preparing to hand out your homemade treats to your classmates the next day…

Riddle Rosehearts

Surprised that you are gifting him some fudge! Sure, he knew you were in the Heartslabyul kitchen with Trey for a long time yesterday afternoon, but he never expected to receive anything out of it.

Thinks it is just as a courtesy because he let you use his dorm’s kitchen, and will blush if you tell him that you made some fudge specifically for him.

He will compliment how it looks and smells and tell you he looks forward to eating it later.

It will be his tea time snack later that day!

Ruggie Bucchi

Free food? Say no more!

Ruggie is usually suspicious when people try to give him something for free, but you look so earnest and proud of yourself when you try to hand it over to him, it would be rude to say no, riiiight?

If he knows you don’t have much experience in the kitchen, he’ll cheekily offer to be your exclusive taste tester, with the low low fee of a portion of the food you cook/bake.

He’s super happy about receiving it though and will probably devour it right there and then in front of you.

He will compliment the taste and sneakily suggest that you try your hand at making doughnuts next time.

Azul Ashengrotto

Ngl this is literally his worst nightmare.

He does not have the extra calories available for this surprise.

Plus it goes entirely against his creed to accept something from someone and potentially leave himself open for return favours later on.

So initially, he will try to refuse it.

Eventually, and very, very reluctantly, he will accept it. His customer service smile has all but crumbled at this point.

He will give you a free drink coupon for the Lounge as a trade off (nothing over 10 thaumarks of course) and then he will excuse himself.

The fudge probably sits on his desk untouched in the VIP room or Floyd snags it and eats it.

Spends way too much time ruminating over why you’d give him that so is probably glad if Floyd eats it tbh.

Jade Leech

Well, aren’t you an amusing one?

He will happily accept your gift, even if his smile seems a little ingenuine.

He won’t eat the fudge in front of you, preferring not to be observed by you when he tries the fudge.

But he will take the opportunity to gather intel talk to you about baking and delve more into your background.

What a lovely info gathering opportunity you have offered him, so kind of you.

If Jade finds out about your noble ties, don’t be surprised if the fish mafia try to blackmail you one day about telling your father about your kitchen activities.

However, the next day Jade will tell you how delightful your fudge tasted, and his smile seems more genuine than it did before.

Floyd Leech

Is already draping himself all over you before you can even offer him the fudge.

Delighted that you made him a little gift!

He literally will not wait for you to finish talking before he’s ripping into the packaging and taking a big ol’ chomp out of the fudge.

Gives you a fudge-caked smile too as he chews away like a carnivore.

Will compliment the fudge in his own weird way, like saying how good it feels to sink his teeth into it, or something.

He’s like a feral animal, now that you’ve given him food once he’s probably going to bother you every time he sees you. Good luck.

Kalim Al Asim

He’s so happy you thought of him but also so so sad because he can’t eat it!

But he doesn’t want to make you sad so he still accepts it but his smile does drop a little because he’s sad he can’t try it.

He will settle for sniffing it really enthusiastically because he feels like that’s a totally normal way to appreciate your baking.

He’s definitely going to try to use this as an excuse to throw a party with you as the guest of honour. Then you can both eat lots of food together!

He will finally let you go free once you convince him that you already have other plans that day.

Jamil Viper

Really surprised that you are giving him something, as he’s usually trying to fly under the radar.

He seems to appreciate it though, and will accept it without much fuss.

He’s a bit of an avid cook himself, so he’ll likely analyse the flavour in his head but keep his thoughts to himself.

He’ll feel a bit smug later that day when Kalim hands over the fudge you gave him, now he has two of your little gifts.

May slyly set some extra sweet aside for you that he’s made for Kalim and leave them for you without a note, but you could probably guess who they were from if you thought about it hard enough.

Silver

A welcome surprise for him to wake up to!

He’ll give you a gentle smile when he wakes up from one of his accidental nap to find you sitting beside him with a package full of treats.

He will happily eat it, savouring anything that hasn’t been made by his father.

He will compliment your baking, telling you how you did such a good job.

As you are both from Diasomnia, it’s likely he knows something about your circumstances.

He’s very curious when you tell him jokingly to keep the fudge a secret from the rest of the Diasomnia dorm, as you have a surprise for them later on. He will promise to keep it a secret though.

You hurry back to your dorm after your club activities, eager to set out the surprise cake for your dormmates. You had already sent Lilia on a mission to find Malleus and bring him back to the dorm, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he kindly went off to fulfil your request. You placed your bags haphazardly on your bed with a promise to tidy them later as you quickly grabbed the cake box and rushed out of your room, wanting to get to the dorm lounge before any of the others got there. Unfortunately, Silver and Sebek were already waiting in the lounge, the latter lamenting his inability to find Malleus and walk him back to the dorm. You placed the cake box discreetly on the lounge table, giving Silver a knowing smile as you waited for the arrival of Malleus and Lilia. You were grateful that they soon arrived, knowing how difficult it could be to find Malleus sometimes, especially if he did not want to be found.

Soon, all four of them were staring at you expectantly and you suddenly found yourself overcome with shyness, clasping your hands in front of you for something to do with your hands and looking down as you began to speak, stuttering over your words. “Um… I-I decided to try baking for the first time and I made a cake that I wanted everyone to try…” Hesitantly, you lift the lid on the cake box and reveal the lovely Victoria sponge cake to the group…

Malleus Draconia

Ngl you are worried at first because his mouth is just pressed into a thin line as he stares at the cake with a blank stare.

But then as soon as you begin slicing up the cake and passing around slices for everyone, he perks right up.

He’s getting to share a cake with everyone, instead of it being forced to be all his? What a splendid experience you have afforded him.

He is more than happy to tuck into the cake, complimenting its texture and flavour.

He has suffered through Lilia’s cooking too so he’s definitely savouring this as much as he can.

Tbh more than the cake he’s just overjoyed to be included in something, so he definitely appreciates you for that.

Lilia Vanrouge

He thinks that its great that you are breaking free of old traditions and trying new things.

Tells you how proud he is of you and encourages you to continue expressing your individuality (thanks batdad).

He’ll give you his blessing to use the Diasomnia dorm kitchen as you please and offer to bake with you sometime.

Don’t do it bestie.

As for the cake, he thinks it tastes good but could definitely benefit from a boost in nutrition!

He starts talking your ears off about what ingredients you could add to give it a little more ‘oomph’, Silver is trying to pry him away from you…

Silver

Surprised and impressed that you made a full-sized cake along with the fudge you had already prepared!

Just like Lilia, he’s really proud of you too.

He will compliment the cake and how you did a really good job on your first ever baking attempt. He thinks you are a natural at it (little does he know).

As promised, he doesn’t mention the fudge and gives you a gentle smile when you wink conspiratorially at him.

Sebek Zigvolt

This boy is always hungry so he’s so happy when he’s handed a large slice of cake.

But he’s even more excited to eat it when the cake receives Malleus’ blessing.

Even the young master is impressed by your cake? You should be honoured, human!!

He’s pretty much devoured the cake in a few bites and loudly proclaims how good it tastes.

(Half because he genuinely thinks it tastes good and half because Malleus said it was good so who is he to disagree with the Prince!)

Too shy to ask for seconds and will blush when you give him another slice.

#twst #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts x reader #ruggie bucchi x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #jade leech x reader #floyd leech x reader #kalim al asim x reader #jamil viper x reader #silver x reader #malleus draconia x reader #lilia vanrouge x reader #sebek zigvolt x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader

[lakesbian]

Re: this post https://www.tumblr.com/lakesbian/715722672922902528/i-think-the-best-society-would-not-be-happy-if

I would LOVE for you to elaborate on how Amy’s whole character concept ties into this!

amy is an absolutely terrifying example of the fact that powers are 1. randomized and 2. designed to be useful in combat.

you have the people who randomly trigger with something horrifically powerful and then immediately pull a nilbog and take over a small town. you have the people who hide or downplay aspects of their power to avoid demonstrating how much damage they could do, like crucible only using the "bubble forcefield" part of his power and not the "can cook the absolute shit out of anything, or anyone, he traps inside his bubble forcefield" part of his power.

and then, as chance would dictate, you have the amys. the people with horrifically powerful abilities desperately trying to keep the amount of harm they're capable of doing under lock and key. the people trying very, very hard not to use their powers in the worst way possible. and that's fucking difficult--as chevalier observes in his interlude, powers drive you back to your lows, back to the circumstances under which you triggered.

(and every time amy uses the full extent of her power on victoria, it is when she's been driven back to the circumstances of her trigger. she triggers because she was terrified victoria was going to die and leave her alone. she impulsively changes victoria's brain because she's terrified she's going to leave victoria and be alone. she makes victoria into icktoria the wretch because she is, again, terrified of letting victoria go and being alone.)

amy is, in many ways, almost designed to piss people off. she's got one of the scariest, most useful, and most plot-important powers in the entire story. people can't hear about amy without having an opinion about what they would do with her power, and that applies to characters within the setting. there are a million different terrible-glorious things she could do with it, and yet she's...a generally pathetic, unlikable teenage girl, who has to be wheedled into giving taylor useful bugs during a slaughterhouse nine attack, who makes spiteful threats about what she could do while firmly restricting herself from healing brains. she fucking irritates people. she's got power most other people could only dream of, and all she does with it is stand around bleeding from her finger-stumps firmly rejecting anyone with an idea about how she should be using her power.

and everyone should actually be really grateful for that, because literally all of the alternatives for how she could be using it are worse.

no one would make fully good choices about having her powers or directing her in how to use them. imagine if someone like taylor or saint or rachel had amy's powers. imagine how very quickly that would all go to shit. amy's power-related decisionmaking skills are obviously awful, but they're still good enough to keep her alive and get her to the right spot to actually use her power to its full extent during gold morning. she's holding one of the most important cards in the game, and despite everything, she doesn't totally fumble it. i don't think many other characters could have done the same in her spot.

and the reason she doesn't totally fumble it is that for vast amounts of her life, she's keeping its actual intended usage under tight wraps. as far as society is concerned, she's panacea the healer. takes care of your physical injuries and neatly avoids doing anything that would make you think about how powerful she actually is, helpful or otherwise. (no viruses which make you immune to this year's flu being released into the air! we don't want people realizing that means she could release another black plague, too.) the random citizens she's healing don't know that she could turn them into something out of a junji ito comic or man after man*. they don't know that she could fine-tune their brain until they're ready to compulsively fight to the death for her. they're not thinking about how she could kill them with a touch of her pinky finger, they're thinking about how she's panacea, the healer, the cure-all girl.

they're not thinking about the fact that her power isn't supposed to be for healing. it's supposed to be for creating wretches. it's supposed to be for tapping people and making their hearts stop. it's supposed to be for hurting people in ways you did not know it was possible to hurt someone. it's supposed to be for conflict. every cape in worm is walking around with a loaded weapon sewn into their body and mind. amy is a horrifying and deeply compelling subversion of the healing-superpowers trope. worm's token healer cape, the cape with the white robe and the miracle touch, the panacea, is also one of the setting's scariest weapons.

and in worm's setting, every weapon, every power, can't help but be used. amy was carrying the weight of idolized, godlike power on her shoulders. everyone in the setting is lucky that she only faltered and never completely fell. society would not fucking be happy if they found out how much damage amy is capable of casually doing.

*the speculative evolution book seasons greasons is from. it is not good. but go look it up so you can visualize what i mean by 'turn them into something out of man after man.'

#worm #parahumans #amy dallon #ham don't look #scarf don't look #like conceptually she FUCKS she's an incredible subversion on the healer superhero trope #every wormpower is designed 4 conflict so a powerful healer must inherently be capable of powerful harm #worm is a setting where random teen girls who suck will randomly have the weight of god placed on their shoulders! #one teen girl who sucks is the ONLY thing btwn brockton bay and Bonesaw Prion Disease! #it rocks! good ass book! #despite all the bad bits worm is good!!! and interesting!!! #anyway i hope this was an interesting elaboration #this is the first time i've articulated this thought abt her so hopefully it hits the right notes #ask

[pocket-jack]

Thinking about KidKiller as parents and I just feel like everything would be... Not as expected from them.

Let's just imagine, that some random child was found hiding on Victoria Punk, and no one can get himself to throw them down the sea, so kid just got accepted as the cabin boy. They would help with cooking, clean the ship, assist in Kid's work, give the ammo, everything the cabin boy does.

And let's just say that Kid starts to grow warm to this kid. He spends time with them, learns about their hobbies and preferences, tries to make toys and buy things they likes, etc. And he will definitely brag about this kid to Killer. He would say some stuff like "The little shit likes trinkets, can ya imagine? Oh, we need to go scavenging when we land on the other island, I wanna see what lil guy say about those knicknacks!", but Killer just keeps silent and tries to avoid the talking about the kid.

As a responsible first mate he tries to spend time with everyone on the ship, but the kid is the only person he's genuinely avoid. It almost seems like he's scared of them. So for the first days Kid just thinks that his partner is not to found of the idea of a child on the ship, but he will get used to them eventually. And when this not happen he gets angry, because know he thinks that Killer really hates that kid, so he confronts him about it.

And Killer confesses that he's scared to talk to them. Back at their home he never thought about his future, he never made plans or dreamed about anything. He just wanted to survive. Even with Kid and their dream to find One Piece he never thought about who he'll be in the future. Gosh, he never even planned to have kids! He thought he would not survive to his 18! But he did. And everything he does is just killing and making spaghetti for the crew. That just it. What kind of conversation he can have with the child? What important lessons he might teach them? Are his bloody hands even worthy to touch this child!?

But Kid stops him. He wants to say something, but can't exactly figure out what. So he gently grabs him by the hand and leads him to the child.

The first conversation happen. Kid asks them to show Killer their collection and they happily brag about every single trinket they have. Killer sits awkwardly and nervously strokes his hairs. He listens about the black feather and how the child found it in front of the scarecrow. Then the button that fall out from their jacked and they keeped it. Than the small cracked rock with the fossil in it.

Killer know got invested. He asks them about the things and some details in the stories and kid happily answers all of them. Then they asks Killer about his hobbies, and he awkwardly confesses that he knows every single way to make pasta, on which kid got all excited because "Oh my gosh, I love pasta!".

And then Killer cooks spaghetti with them. And at the end of the day Kid goes to him smailing all devilishly "Weeell?~". And Killer signs heavily "Yep. I love this little shit"

#one piece #kidkiller #eustass kid #massacre soldier killer #parenting #kid would so proud of his child #he will go “Hey that's ma man/woman!” #and definitely lend them weapon in school #killer just never thinks about his future #killers is scared of kid

[ladyfogg]

Words of Advice - Part 2

Words of Advice – Part 2 (Finale)

Fic Summary: Months after being so spectacularly rejected by Lauren, Ralph finds his interests being drawn to the pretty new maid. Having no idea how to approach you, and not wanting to repeat mistakes of the past, he seeks advice from everyone and anyone who’ll provide it, which is probably not the wisest decision. (Part 1) Fics Masterpost. 

Fic Rating: 18+ (Minors DNI)

Pairing: Virgin Ralph/Female Reader

Warnings: Canon Divergent, It’s Not Unrequited Love They’re Just Idiots, Mutual Pining, Attempts at Flirting, First Time, Slow Build, Eventual Smut, Unprotected Sex

A/N: Thank you, thank you so much for all your wonderful comments!! Every reblog and reply made me smile like crazy. I loved writing these two. I also appreciate all the kind words on my post about taking time off. I still am, I just wanted to post this while I was in a good mood. Enjoy!

Ralph plans well into the evening.

The next morning, he awakens refreshed and ready to meet the day’s tasks. He knows Victoria will be busying herself with the party arrangements and the quartet will be practicing, so he’s sure he can move around relatively ignored.

It’s a highly developed skill of his.

The one snag in his plan is dinner preparations. You, along with the rest of the staff, are no doubt going to be moving between the kitchen and ballroom today. And Friday, you’ll be in the kitchen all day.

Ralph doesn’t want to be underfoot nor does he want you to see what he’s cooking for your date. He decides he’s going to slip into the kitchen later that evening once you’ve retired to your quarters. That way he can prepare everything in advance so when Friday comes, it’ll only need to be cooked. The timing will be tricky but he’s confident that he can handle it. There should be plenty of time to make a quick appearance at the party to be polite before he must hurry off.

Today he plans to make his bedroom guest ready. He’s never had a guest in his room and while he chose the location for discretion’s sake, he wonders if it may be too forward. He did not consider the implications until he was fast asleep, at which point he bolted upright with a wave of horror.

Aside from dining and polite conversation, he does not anticipate things progressing any further. He worries he might have given you the wrong idea. Then again, you had readily accepted with zero hesitation. Which means, if you did think Ralph was insinuating anything, you did not seem to mind.

If he dwells too much on that fact, his palms start to get sweaty. He tells himself you were most likely too polite to question him at that moment.

Being alone in his room with a woman, a beautiful woman who he’s absolutely over the moon for, makes Ralph nervous. If things were to progress like that, he has no idea how he’ll react or what he’s supposed to do. Is he ready for such a step? He’s well aware it is expected that one must wait until marriage. However, he’s not naïve enough to think anyone follows such a social rule. He’s been to enough parties to know better.

Ralph himself has not had the opportunity, nor desire really. He assumed he would once the right woman came along.

His thoughts drift to you, how close you stood when you fixed his shirt, how your hands almost brushed his neck while fixing his collar. He still thinks of the first time he shook your hand and those damn gloves that prevented him from feeling your palm on his. Should you wish to…proceed further Friday evening, he is becoming less sure that he’ll decline.

Ralph’s thoughts are spiraling and all his self-doubt starts to bubble to the surface. He takes a few deep breaths to push it down.

After the trouble he went through simply talking to you, he decides to figure it out when the time comes. There’s no way he’s going to ask for more advice considering how it led him astray before. Besides, the chances of any kind of seduction happening are fairly slim.

Truth be told, if he hadn’t already given you the invitation he might have given into anxiety completely and scrapped the entire idea. Maybe even started over from scratch. But it’s too late for that. He’s made a plan and he’s going to stick with it.

Ralph’s room is fairly large, with a sitting area that’s reserved for quiet contemplation and tea. The table is much too small for the dinner he has planned. So, when everyone is busy, he careful takes it out of his room and swaps it for the larger one in the downstairs sitting room. It’s cumbersome and a struggle to do on his own. However, he manages well enough.

Once he has it situated by the balcony doors, he opens them to see how the table looks framed. It’s good but now the chairs don’t match at all and he can’t have that.

Little by little, Ralph sneaks around the manor, carefully replacing bits and pieces from his room. The chairs are changed and the vase in the hall looks smashing on his dresser and the tablecloth is not fancy enough for what he has planned, and…the list goes on and on. By the time he’s fully satisfied with the setup, hours have passed and his room is certainly more upscale than it has been.

Ralph checks the time, realizing he needs to hurry if he’s going to get to the florist before they close. He slips his jacket and hat on but when he opens the door to his room to leave, he jumps and shouts as his sister stands there, hands on her hips.

“Ralphie, what are you up to?” she asks, eyeing him with suspicion just as she had when he and you first met.

“What? Nothing!” he declares, blocking her view into his room. “I’ve decided to go out for a stroll. It’s a lovely day and I’ve been cooped up inside for most of it.”

“Not to mention sneaking around the house swapping out furniture. What in blazes are you doing?”

“Some redecorating.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to.”

Victoria pokes him in the chest with her finger. “Ralph, you are hiding something. I can tell. I’m your twin. You know I can always tell when you’re lying.”

Ralph gasps with mock outrage. “Dear, sister. I would never—”

She pushes past him into the room, eyes widening at the massive changes. The moment she sees the setup, she spins around. Before he can react, she grabs his ear and twists it like she used to do when they were children. “Ralph, you tell me right now what you are planning!” she exclaims as he tries to swat her away.

“Alright, fine!” Ralph wrenches himself out of her grasp, adjusting his hat and rubbing his ear. “If you must know, I have a date on Friday.”

“A date?” she repeats, raising her eyebrow. “With whom?” Her eyes widen and she actually looks amused when she hits his arm. “Ralphie! Did you go behind my back and actually ask out our new maid? I’m surprised at you and a little impressed.”

Ralph blinks for a moment, stunned at what he’s hearing. “You’re not angry?”

Victoria waves a dismissive hand. “Of course I’m not. I have far too much on my plate to worry about you sneaking around with the help. Although…” She takes in the fancy set up and gives him a knowing smile. “I take it you have much more planned than laying down with her.”

Ralph sputters. “Victoria! I…it’s only a dinner date. There will be no laying down or…or anything of the sort.”

“Well, why not?! Lord knows you need it.”

“Sister, the things you say!”

“What? You know I’m right! Ralphie…” she takes his hands and forces him to look her in the eye. “I say this because you’re my brother and I love you. Please, please, do yourself a favor, and lay with that woman. It’ll do you a world of good.”

“I am…thoroughly confused. You said the other day there is to be no fraternizing with the staff.”

“It’s fine. That rule is mostly for Jason because he goes through them like underclothes. Besides, we have a full staff again so once you grow bored with her we can always hire another maid.”

Ralph does not appreciate his sister’s blasé statement or the assumption that this is a passing fling. While he admits his prior infatuation with Lauren doesn’t exactly disprove her thoughts, he finds it prudent to explain himself further.

“Victoria, this isn’t what you think,” he insists, following as she wanders the room and starts to touch and move things. He moves them back to where he wants them. “This isn’t some passing fancy. What I feel for her is unlike anything I have ever felt before. Sister—” He takes her shoulders and forces her to face him proper. “I plan to court her, officially.”

Victoria laughs. “Oh, Ralph, sometimes you have the most wicked sense of humor.” Ralph doesn’t laugh. His face remains earnest. “Wait…you’re serious? You actually plan on courting her?”

“Yes. I’ve already made my intentions known.”

“Oh.” Victoria sinks onto one of the chairs, ruffling the tablecloth as she does. Ralph fidgets before hurriedly fixing it back into place. “Well, then. This is certainly an interesting situation. You do realize that father might have something to say considering her social status.”

Ralph shrugs. “That doesn’t matter to me. It’s the ‘20s! I like to think we’re moving beyond social status. And if it matters to father, well, that’ll be his problem.”

Victoria’s eyebrows shoot up at his remark. “I’ve never heard you speak up against father in our entire life.”

“I think we both know he’s more interested in who you marry rather than who I marry. Besides, I was given some advice recently that I should slow things down and I am trying to do just that. Yes, it is a dinner date and yes, I will be formally courting her. But that is all I am focusing on at the moment.” He checks his pocket watch and swears. “Blast. Sister, I really must cut this short. I have flowers to pick up.”

Victoria raises her hands and gets to her feet. “Don’t let me stop you.” Together, they leave Ralph’s room but before they part in the hall, she touches his hand. “Ralphie…I’m proud of you.”

Ralph doesn’t think he’s ever heard his sister say she was proud of him before. She doesn’t wait for a response, only plasters on that enormous smile and goes back to her business. He wants to dwell and question, but really must get the flowers.

He manages to get to the florist in the nick of time. After another quick stop, he has everything he needs for a proper date. Arms full of roses, Ralph happily makes his way home. However, once he does, he finds it difficult to open the front door while balancing the flowers. He ends up having to ring the bell with his elbow. A second later the door opens and when Ralph sees it’s you he gasps.

“Close your eyes!” he exclaims.

You jump and immediately do as you’re told. “Why? What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing, I just don’t want you to see the flowers yet. They aren’t ready.”

Smiling, and still covering your eyes, you carefully back away, giving Ralph space to come into the house. There’s a lot of fumbling and apologies. He scoots around you, narrowly avoiding hitting you with the bouquets.

While he does, Ralph keeps his focus on you to make sure you’re not peeking. “I’m going to run upstairs. Don’t look until I tell you it’s clear.”

“Alright, Ralph, I won’t.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise!”

Ralph stumbles a bit on the stairs but manages to climb them quickly. He keeps glancing over his shoulder but true to your words, you keep your eyes closed. Once Ralph gets to the top, he shouts down, “All clear!” Then bolts to his room.

He hurriedly puts the flowers down on the dresser. Glancing in the mirror, he adjusts his clothes to make sure he’s presentable. Seeing you has him desperate for conversation and he wants to catch you before you return to your duties. He’ll organize the flowers later.

In the sitting room, you’re starting a fire in the fireplace to ward off the chill of the evening. Ralph stands silently in the doorway, watching, entranced by the glow that graces your features. Victoria may be wondering about different social statuses, yet that’s the furthest thing from his mind. When he sees you, he doesn’t think of anything else, only how he might get you to smile at him again.

“I haven’t seen much of you today,” you say without needing to look. It’s like you’re aware of his presence, even though he hasn’t made a sound.

“I’ve been very busy.” When you stand, he excitedly rushes to your side. “I have so much planned for tomorrow. I cannot wait!”

You turn to face him, giving him a wide smile. “I also can’t wait. I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking about it all day!”

Ralph rarely has someone other than his sister sharing in his excitement, so to have this response from you has him vibrating. “Part of me wants to tell you everything and another part wants it to be a complete surprise,” he says. He grabs your hands, squeezing them tight. “Do you want me to tell you? Because I will if you really want to know!”

“Oh no. Um…oh dear, the temptation is strong, but, no, don’t tell me!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. I like surprises.” You glance down and it’s then that Ralph realizes what he’s done.

He’s touching your hands and this time you’re not wearing gloves. It’s like a wave of liquid magma rushes through his body, turning his cheeks bright red.

“Forgive me, I forget myself sometimes,” he says, reluctantly releasing you. He can still feel your warmth and his fingers flex involuntarily.

“I’m not complaining.”

There’s a lump in Ralph’s throat and he has to swallow past it before he can speak again. “While I have you alone, there’s something I wish to say. I did not realize what inviting you to my room for dinner might insinuate. Please know, I have no inappropriate thoughts or ulterior motives.”

You study him for a moment, still smiling, though there’s something else in your gaze that he can’t place. Your pupils have gone wide and he sees your lips part as you exhale slowly. You reach out to adjust his bowtie, though he had already fixed it before coming down to see you. It’s the blue one. He’s been wearing it since you told him you favored it.

“I understand,” you say, a lilt to your voice that does things to him. “But what if I do?”

Ralph’s mind goes blank. Unable to think or respond, he stands there with wide eyes, staring at you, unblinking. He couldn’t possibly have heard what he thought he heard.

“Beg your pardon?” he asks, his voice squeaking.

Before you can respond, Ralph hears the voices of the quartet coming this way. You hear them too. You give Ralph a smoldering look and brush past him to continue your duties. As you do, your fingers tweak the buttons of his coat, as you lean in to speak into his ear.

“I am most curious as to what you have planned for after dinner. And if you haven’t, I’m sure I can think of something to do.”

With that, you walk out of the room, leaving Ralph standing there speechless. Glancing down, he realizes your words and flirting has had a rather inconvenient side effect. He quickly swipes his hat off and covers himself a second before the quartet come in.

“Hey, Ralph,” Horace says, being the only one to acknowledge him, per usual. “We’re about to have a drink and a game. Join us.”

“Thank you, but I must…be somewhere else.” He can barely get the words out before he shuffles out of the room.

But by now, you’re nowhere to be seen, which means he can’t ask if you were teasing or not. Ralph hurries up to his room instead. Once inside, he takes a few deep breaths and throws open the balcony doors. The cool night air feels wonderful on his overheated skin, yet isn’t enough to chase away the heat. He fans himself.

“Alright, it’s going to be alright. There is a distinct possibility something sexual might happen. But just focus on the dinner. That’s the most important bit. Do not think of her wonderful hands and how good they felt…oh lord, give me strength.”

Ralph is thoroughly aroused and is trying everything to ignore it. He refuses to service himself to thoughts of you. If he does, he’ll never be able to look you in the eye ever again.

He turns back to the bedroom and that’s when he remembers the haphazard way he put the flowers down. Perfect. A task to take his mind off things.

Ralph goes about setting the flowers in the correct locations throughout the room, shifting and adjusting things as he does. Yet, despite the distraction, his arousal persists. Even when he tries to think of disgusting or deplorable things, nothing.

His bedroom is as ready as it’ll ever be and as the hour turns late, he decides to go to sleep early. Tomorrow is a big day and hopefully resting will make his erection finally fade.

Ralph changes into his nightclothes, purposefully avoiding his situation, which is difficult to do when the lack of trousers provides momentary relief. He closes the balcony doors, turns off the lights, and climbs into bed.

Now. Sleep, he orders himself. Stop dwelling.

Easier said than done. Ralph soon realizes his mistake. Being in bed, in the dark, only makes him think of you more. The firelight danced in your eyes when you leaned in, and the memory of your breath on his ear makes him shiver.

No matter how long he tosses and turns, his erection doesn’t fade and he only hopes it's this persistent when you two become…intimate.

Sighing in defeat, Ralph rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling. His body certainly seems ready. And you made it abundantly clear you’re physically interested. Perhaps that’s why it’s difficult to ignore. Because now there is an actual person to think about, a woman who is attracted to him and is not afraid to say.

Does that mean you have experience? Are you expecting him to have some as well? He finds he does not mind the thought of you having known a man that way before. At least one of you knows what to do.

Of course, this brings a series of new anxieties. What if things do progress and he disappoints you? What if he can’t keep up? What if…?

That line of thought finally kills his arousal. Ralph’s read books and heard his fair share of stories to know the basics. However, there is a difference between theory and practice.

He falls into a restless sleep.

In the morning, he awakens to the smell of roses. His dreams had been filled with naughty images of you, conjured from the depths of his imagination. An imagination he thinks he may be putting to the test very soon. Glancing at the time, he’s bright and early. It suddenly dawns on him that in his distracted state the previous evening, he didn’t prep dinner!

Ralph bolts out of bed and practically throws himself into his closet, dressing in the first suit he can find. He is not going to let anything ruin his date. Yes, he is now going to be behind schedule but if he’s quick, he should be able to make up the time.

In the kitchen, Ralph finds he’s earlier than those who need to prepare breakfast. This is actually something he’s done a number of times. Some mornings, before everyone is awake, he’ll sneak to the kitchens and make bread or pie. Kneading dough always has a calming effect and helps him focus. Today is no different.

The recipes he plans to make are fairly simple but delicious. A small roast which he had chef gather from the market is seasoned and set aside for later. Then he gets to work on bread rolls. Those combined with the roast and fresh vegetables would be a perfectly wonderful dinner. He’d planned to make pastries but time is not on his side. So he settles for delicate finger cakes.

He works, quietly humming to himself as he does. The nerves and anxiety from the night before are a distant memory and when he’s finished prepping, and baking his cakes, he stashes the food away for later. He’s finishing up cleaning when the servants enter to begin their work.

You are not among them, surprisingly. Ralph doesn’t think much of it, though he is disappointed he doesn’t have a chance to see you.

The day goes on and despite the hiccup, Ralph is back on schedule. His suit is pressed and already laid out on his bed and his shoes have been polished. After finishing a few of the smaller details, he knows he must turn his attention to his sister’s party. Technically, he is also meant to host so he must not shirk his responsibilities. He takes his time bathing and shaving, then longer trying to style his hair just right.

When he’s ready, he seeks out Victoria to see what last minute preparations she may need his help with.

He cannot find her anywhere.

In the ballroom, the quartet are already on stage, having been practicing since the morning. He glances around, however, sees no sign of his sister. Or you, for that matter.

“Hey, Ralph! Looking sharp!” Horace says with a knowing smile.

“Thank you. Have any of you seen my sister?”

“Yeah, she went out shopping this morning,” Jason says. “Hasn’t come back yet.”

Ralph frowns. “That’s unlike her to leave the house when party preparations are still underway. What could she possibly be shopping for?”

Jason shrugs. “Dunno, bruv. Must have been planning to get a lot cuz she took that maid with her.”

“What maid?” Ralph asks, stepping into Jason’s space.

“Whoa, back up, man. The new one.”

His sister took you with her? Why would she do that?

As if on cue, Victoria glides into the room and greets them all with her brilliant smile. “Hello, my lovely friends. Who’s ready to get properly fucked up tonight?!”

The quartet cheers, but Ralph does not. He hurries over to his sister, grabbing her arm to pull her to the side.

“Ralph, be careful!”

“Victoria, what did you do? Jason said you took my date out shopping. Why—?”

Victoria jams her finger against his lips. “Hush, Ralphie! You needn’t worry. I didn’t do anything to your precious date. I simply knew what clothing she brought with her was not sufficient enough for a private dinner for two so I made sure she had something appropriate to wear tonight.”

“If this was some sneaky attempt to scare her off—”

“It wasn’t! I swear, I only took her shopping for a new dress. I would not sabotage the first chance you’ve ever had at a proper shag.”

Despite her crudeness, Ralph’s expression softens and he places a hand over his heart. “Aww, Victoria! You didn’t have to do that.”

“Of course I did!” she huffs, adjusting his jacket. “You are my baby brother and this is your first date. It should be perfect. Speaking of, the chef agreed to hang back and cook what you’ve prepared so you don’t need to rush. Just relax and enjoy the evening, wherever it may lead.”

If Ralph isn’t careful, he’s going to become emotional. Oh, who is he kidding? He already is. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Seriously. Do not tell anyone how generous I am. I’ll have to beat them off with a stick.”

With everything set and ready to go, there isn’t anything for him to do other than wait. Impatiently.

Time progresses. Afternoon turns to evening, and Victoria’s party gets underway. Ralph stays and mingles but his eyes are on his pocket watch, closely monitoring the time. At exactly eight forty-five, he downs his one glass of champagne he’s been nursing and ducks out of the ballroom.

Chef is loading the steaming meal onto a serving cart, quick to cover the plates to prevent them from cooling too quickly. The cakes Ralph made have been properly decorated with delicate frosting. Ralph takes the cart with a thank you and pushes it himself to the service elevator.

Once in his room, he sets the table, adjusts the lighting, and tries to still his racing heart. It’s here. After nearly two days of planning, Ralph is as ready as he’ll ever be.

At nine o’clock precisely, there is a knock on the door. He finishes lighting the candles in the center of the table and prepared himself to greet you.

Ralph inhales sharply. “This is what you’ve been waiting for. Woo her as if she’s never been wooed before! But also try to relax and not throw yourself instantly at her feet.”

Clearing his throat, he walks to the door and opens it.

You’re standing there, smiling shyly, and looking absolutely stunning. The dress Victoria picked out knocks the breath from Ralph’s lungs. The color and style do everything to highlight your features, skin tone, and body shape. And the plunging neckline has Ralph’s eyes wandering until he catches himself.

“Good evening,” he says with a wide smile. “You’re right on time.”

“I had to stop myself from being early.”

Ralph steps aside and extends his hand. “Please, come in.”

Just like the day you met, you slip past Ralph and he inhales the perfume that wafts by as you do. After closing the door, he offers you his arm, which you take with a laugh. Even though the table is only steps away, Ralph will not forget his manners.

He holds your chair out and once you sit, he hurriedly takes the seat across from you.

“Ralph, this is all so beautiful,” you say, looking around the room.

Of course, you notice the changes. They’re hard to miss. Proud of his work, he smiles brightly. “Thank you. But all this pales in comparison to you. You look absolutely stunning.”

You duck your head, looking down at your new dress. “Thank you. I was trying to decide what to wear when Miss Victoria burst into my room and dragged me to the stores.”

“Well, I think you look beautiful in everything,” Ralph says earnestly. “Was my sister too forward? She can be that way sometimes.”

You laugh. “Oh, I picked up on that quickly. It was actually a very sweet gesture. Truth be told, I wasn’t sure what she would think of us.”

Us.

Ralph has to stop himself from melting in his seat. Hearing you refer to the two of you as “us” sets his heart aflame. “I hope you are aware that the discretion that was required for today has to do with protecting your honor and job more than anything else. Victoria implemented a no fraternizing with the help rule.”

Your smile widens and you raise your eyebrow. Leaning on the table, you prop your chin in your hand. “Are you breaking the rules for me, Ralph?”

Oh, lord, is he in trouble if you keep looking at him like that.

“Well, I was but then Victoria found out anyway,” he says, trying not to let on how flustered he is. “And by then, I had already given you the invitation and made all the arrangements so I wasn’t going to throw away my hard work.”

Laughing, you sit back in your chair. “I’m glad you didn’t. This is honestly the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. And you look so dashing in that suit. You wear it well.”

Is he imagining it, or is there hunger in your eyes? Probably imagining it. Or you’re famished.

Suddenly remembering the meal, Ralph quickly takes the covers off your plates and gestures with a flourish. “Dinner is served.”

“This looks delicious.”

“Now, I must confess, Chef cooked the food but I prepared it,” he says, laying his napkin across his lap. “My intention was to cook the entire meal. I hope you do not think less of me.”

“I could never think less of you.”

Ralph’s face flushes at the compliment and he can’t help feeling pleased with himself. “The rolls are my personal recipe,” he boasts, not picking up his fork. He’s too busy watching you and waiting for you to take the first bite. “Normally, I would make pastries but unfortunately time was not on my side.”

“Maybe you can teach me how to make pastries for breakfast some morning.”

Ralph’s smile is so wide it’s hurting his cheeks. “It would be my pleasure.”

Your eyes light up when the fork slides into your mouth. Ralph tries to ignore the visual of your lips pressed together as you make a noise of delight. “Delicious.”

“Oh, good!” Ralph explains breathlessly, the tension leaving his shoulders.

As you two eat, music from the party drifts up through the balcony. The conversation and wine flows and Ralph wonders why he was so nervous in the first place. Your easy smile and interest in what he’s saying is evident by your earnest expression.

He is so used to people ignoring his ramblings or interrupting that he doesn’t know what to do when you don’t do these things. So he keeps talking, figuring you’ll stop him when you’ve had enough. He does make sure to ask you about yourself to avoid taking over the conversation.

Ralph finds he loves watching you speak just as you seem to enjoy when he does. He watches with rapt attention, unable to look away for even a second.

Dinner is finished and when the music suddenly changes to a slower tune, Ralph takes that as a sign. Standing, he offers his hand.

“May I have this dance?”

You accept with that smile he knows he’ll never get tired of.

Ralph pulls you in, though keeps a respectable distance between you. Your hand in his is warm and he revels in the softness. Being so close is intoxicating. He wants to pull you to his chest but lacks the bravery to do so. The two of you sway to the low music, the atmosphere charged with intimacy.

Unfortunately, he’s finding it difficult to relax all the way. His body tenses when the urge to hold you close grows stronger.

“Are you alright?” you ask, the hand on his shoulder rubbing comfortingly. “You’ve gone a bit stiff…and not in the fun way.”

Your sudden salacious joke takes him by surprise and he lets out something that’s between a nervous laugh and hysterical giggle. You laugh as well, and that tension dissipates.

“I am…conflicted,” he admits.

“About what, darling?”

Uh oh. You’ve called him a term of endearment. Chills go through him and he starts to feel hot under the collar.

“I want to hold you close,” he confesses. “However, I don’t want to seem inappropriate.”

The second he says this, you draw yourself closer to him, your chest pressed to his. “Is this better?” you ask, your voice dipping low.

Ralph can feel your warm breath brush his lips and he swallows thickly. “Y-Yes,” he says with an excited head nod. “Much better.”

The hand he has on your waist slides to rest on your lower back. Ralph’s forehead touches yours and he watches your eyes flutter closed. He follows your lead.

Ralph and you slow dance, lost in your own world. He thinks of nothing else but you. Your hand in his, your bodies touching, mouths so close yet not quite kissing. He wants to close the distance. He wants to kiss you for the first time.

He'd been so sure his nerves would get the best of him, sure he would keep his distance so as not to scare you off as he’s done in the past. Yet, none of that seems to be a problem. He’s gone out of his way to be himself and it’s led to this spectacular moment.

His eyes fly open as your lips touch his.

Ralph halts all movement, standing still from shock as you kiss him. Your arms sliding around his neck jolt him into reacting and his arms tentatively circle your waist. Lips trembling, Ralph kisses you back, closing his eyes once more and surrendering to the sensation.

Heat travels through every nerve in his body. The urge to kiss you harder, to hold you tighter, is strong but he tries to restrain himself, needing to take the time to savor everything about this. His mouth moves with yours and when your fingers toy with the hair at the nape of his neck, his knees practically become jelly.

Your lips part but you keep holding him close. “Was that alright?” you ask.

Ralph nods excitedly. “Yes, that was brilliant.”

“I really like you, Ralph,” you tell him. “And to tell you the truth, I was excited to get your invitation, but also very nervous.”

Ralph can’t imagine you being as nervous as he is. “Why?”

“Well…I’m a maid.”

Ralph doesn’t like the way you avert your gaze when you say that, as if you’re ashamed. He never wants you to feel ashamed of anything. But quickly you smile and meet his eye again.

“But I figured if that bothered you, you wouldn’t have asked. Also, your sister taking the time to take me shopping and get to know me put all that to rest.”

“I don’t care about social status,” Ralph says, tightening his arms to instinctively, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip away. “I only care about you.”

You lean in for another kiss and in his excitement, Ralph kisses back a little too forcefully, making you bend backward. You chuckle at his enthusiasm, which turns into a gasp when Ralph pushes his tongue passed your lips. He’s not expecting to do such a thing but cannot hold back any longer.

At the first brush of your tongue to his, his world explodes. It’s like something inside of him snaps and his kisses become urgent. Suddenly, the hardness of your body to his isn’t enough. He wants to feel your skin, wants to taste your smooth throat, wants to feel your hands on him.

Breaking away to catch his breath, Ralph pants as he stares into your eyes. He says your name, surprised at how low his voice comes out.

“I’ve never…” He pauses. “This is all new for me.”

“We don’t need to do anything you don’t want,” you say. “If you want to just kiss, that’s perfectly wonderful for me. If you want to do more—”

“I want to do more.”

You don’t hesitate to kiss him hungrily. Your hands push his jacket off his shoulders and he hurriedly shrugs out of it. As you pull him towards the bed, he steps out of his shoes, tripping over them in the process. Sitting on the bed, you drag him down to sit with you.

Ralph’s mouth is glued to yours, not wanting to part for even a moment. He feels your fingers work his bowtie free. A second later, the top buttons of his shirt are undone and your hand slides under the fabric. Feeling your fingertips along his collarbone does things to Ralph. He draws away because he has to look down, has to watch you touch him so he knows it’s real.

“I don’t know what to do,” Ralph says, eyes flickering up to yours. “But I want to experience all I can with you.”

“I want to experience you as well, Ralph.”

He cups your face and yanks you into a kiss. You grab his collar, pulling him down on top of you as you lay back. Having your body squirming underneath him awakens some slumbering beast inside. Ralph needs to touch all of you, needs to know what it feels like to have your skin gliding with his.

You undo the buttons of his waistcoat and then the rest of his shirt. He sits up to toss both aside. He had forgone an undershirt, thinking of your moment the other morning, so the moment the fabric is gone, your hands run up his bare chest and Ralph shudders. His face and chest are already flush red and his cock is hard as a rock, straining in his trousers.

There’s no hiding the erection. He’s lying on top of you, knowing you can feel everything. And when you raise your leg to brush the bulge, Ralph whimpers.

He kisses you, his hand tugging at your dress, pulling the hem up so he can slide his hand underneath. His palm finds your thigh and he squeezes in excitement. You move beneath him and he follows through, still kissing as both of you sit up so he can reach around to unzip you from your cloth prison.

The dress goes slack and the top naturally slips off your shoulders, leaving your breasts bare. Gasping for breath, Ralph breaks the kiss to stare shamelessly. His already racing heart feels like it’s hitting his ribcage. Your chest moves with your rapid breathing, nipples pebbled by the coolness of the room.

Cupping them, Ralph gives them a gentle squeeze which makes you inhale sharply.

You lay back and Ralph’s hands glide down your torso, leaving goose pimples in their wake. He takes the sides of your dress, dragging it the rest of the way off your body before he removes your shoes one at a time. You’re left in your underwear with no stockings which seems to scandalous to Ralph. He loves it. Soon even your underwear is discarded.

You sit up to reach for his pants. He kneels on the bed, looking down as you work the buttons free.

In his rush to underdress, he isn’t as graceful as he’d have liked. His leg gets caught in his trousers and underwear and he ends up swearing as he wriggles them down and off. You laugh, assisting where you can. When he manages to free himself, he doesn’t have time to be self-conscious. Besides, you’re already kissing him again, pulling him back down to lay on you.

Nothing could have prepared Ralph for feeling your naked body underneath his. The soft warmth draws him in, makes him excitedly grind himself between your legs.

“Give me your hand,” you say between kisses.

Ralph does and you lead it down, slipping between your bodies. When his fingers come in contact with your folds, he about jumps out of his skin. He has to watch your face, has to study your expression as you teach him how to touch you. He marvels at the petal-like softness, reveling when he feels wetness starting to spread.

“Is that—?”

“Arousal,” you gasp, letting him go. His hand continues, fingers eager in their exploration.

Ralph cannot believe he’s making you feel this way. As you throw your head back, his mouth latches onto your throat, kissing and sucking a wet trail up and down. His fingertips glide through your slit and up until he finds a soft nub. Curiously, he presses it and the reaction is immediate.

You moan loudly and one hand shoots up to grab the pillow under your head. Your body arches into his, so he presses again, moving his fingers in small circles.

Whatever he’s doing seems to be working because your moans are getting louder. His fingers are coated in your slick and his cock is throbbing, seemingly eager to feel the wetness as well. He’s too busy exploring, though. He wants to know what happens if he keeps touching you like this.

Your body freezes in place, your mouth falling open in an O of surprise. Seconds pass before you sink back into the mattress and Ralph draws his hand out.

“I take it that was good,” he says.

You give a breathless chuckle, giving him several drawn out pecks on the lips. “That was very good, Ralph. Not many men even bother to attempt getting a woman off.”

Ralph is right proud of himself. He can’t understand why someone would ignore making a woman react like that. It was absolutely erotic and empowering.

When he feels your hand worming between you, he all but mewls at your palm running along his neglected length. You wrap your fingers around him and start to stroke his throbbing length. He’s never thought about what it would be like to have someone else touching him. He always assumed it would be the same as him doing it himself but how wrong he was.

This is different in the best way. You’re touching him with the intent of making him feel good. You’re trying to focus on his needs and pleasure. He’s too overwhelmed to tell you how much he appreciates it. Instead, moans tumble out, which he imagines gives you the same impression as words would.

You maintaining eye contact with him makes it impossible to catch his breath. He feels like you’re studying him, like you’re trying to commit every expression to memory. He knows he’s trying to do the same to you. His mind reels with the different sexual acts he wants to do with you.

There’s just a small snag in his plan.

“If you keep doing that, this will be over embarrassingly quick,” he pants even as he thrusts into your fist.

You giggle, top teeth digging into your bottom lip. “But I love the face you make when I touch you.”

Ralph whimpers, burying said face into your neck. He says your name, half-begging, half-moaning. You stop stroking but before he can whimper at the loss, you run the tip of him through your folds. Ralph instinctively thrusts forward. He doesn’t realize he's sinking into you until he feels both your hands grabbing his hips. With a gentle tug, you encourage him forward and Ralph thrusts into you in one smooth movement.

Bloody hell.

Bloody fucking hell.

Ralph’s chests hurts and his head spins. Your hand strokes his hair. “Breathe, Ralph,” you say gently.

Ralph exhales, realizing that he is holding his breath. Drawing out, he pauses before surging back in and destroying any semblance of self-control he might have had. He grinds himself into the wet heat that is uniquely yours. Nothing, nothing could have prepared him for the addictive tightness. No book properly describes the clenching and fluttering of your walls around him.

Your mouth finds his and as you wrap your legs around his waist, you moan his name. Hearing it drives him mad, makes him thrust and grind harder, kiss you more.

Ralph feels alive.

He’s always loved and lived freely. But never like this. Deep down, he knows he wouldn’t have felt this way with anyone else. It’s not just the act of sex, it’s the act of making love to you that is driving him completely insane.

His hips move on their own, his body shaking from need and exertion.

Ralph has to look at your face. He has to see the pleasure to know it’s real. Eyes closed, you are completely lost in the sensation and he absolutely adores the unabashed way you surrender yourself to him.

He’s close. It’s not ideal that he cannot last longer this first time. He wishes he could. He wishes he could stay inside you forever.

At the last moment, he draws out. Pulling back, he reaches down to finish himself off with his hand, unable to look away as his release decorates your beautiful folds. It’s like a primal stake of claim. Like he’s marking you as his, which he scolds himself for. You could never belong to anyone, let alone him. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a voice reminds him of that special nub. He presses his thumb to it, quickly glancing up at you as you shout his name. After several hard rubs, you’re coming undone again, louder than before.

Spent and satisfied, Ralph collapses on the bed next to you, struggling to catch his breath. He stares at you with wide eyes, loving the beautiful serene smile that you send his way when you come back to yourself.

“Alright there, darling?” you ask.

Ralph has so many things he wishes to say. They all tumble around in his mind, scrambling to be the first thing out of his mouth. However, what does come out is, “Can we do that again?”

You give a breathless laugh, reaching over to cup his cheek and press his head to yours. “You’re so adorable. Yes, Ralph, we can definitely do that again.”

Excitedly, Ralph rolls over and kisses you. You make a noise of surprise and he slips his tongue into your mouth, tasting greedily. Now that he’s got the hang of it, he’s able to act quicker.

“Didn’t…know you meant…now,” you say between kisses.

Ralph quickly pulls back. “Is it too soon? Bollocks, I knew I was going to mess this up by being over-eager.”

“No, no, it’s wonderful,” you assure him. “I am absolutely ready to keep going. Men tend to need more time to recover.”

Ralph puffs his chest proudly. He grabs your hand, being the one to guide this time as he has you touch him. “You will find I have excellent stamina,” he boasts, watching your eyes widen as he starts to twitch with excitement. He’s not going to tell you his quick bounce back has to do with years of masturbation, figuring it’s more impressive if he doesn’t explain.

You swiftly push him onto his back, straddling his body.

“Be careful, Ralph,” you warn with a wolfish grin. “A girl could fall in love with you if you keep treating her so right.”

“I’ve already got a ring for when you’re ready.”

Laughing, you lean down to capture his lips. He kisses back, cradling the nape of your neck. He knows you think he’s joking so he leaves it at that. You don’t need to know about the quick run to the jeweler’s before he grabbed the roses. And you certainly don’t need to know about the engagement ring that sits in the drawer of his nightstand.

You’ll learn soon enough.

---

Taglist:

@palomahasenteredthechat @crumblychunksofheaven @bethanysnow @hellfirehottie420 @gothvamp1973​ @feltonswifesworld87​ @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @sav7689 @ladybug0095 @offical-bee @nicolaj1978 @screaming-blue-bagel

#ralph timewasters #ralph penbury x reader #ralph penbury #joe quinn #joseph quinn

[shankschewtoy]

Ok I just read your story about (y/n) making pasta for killer and can I request one kinda similar with kid.

Scenario being after a battle and a bit tired (y/n) is making a late night meal while everyone's sleeping and kid come wondering it. (��◡`) thank you!

a/n - I’m just gonna make this but with luffy as well 💜💜

Warnings ⚠️ - fluff, g/n reader

Is there a time that luffy isn’t in the kitchen scavenging for food lmao

It was late, the only ones who were awake were you and maybe Zoro who was on night patrol. That being said, he might’ve dozed off as well. You decided to make some pasta, even after Sanji’s cooking, you were still hungry. Right as you were boiling the noodles, you heard footsteps above you. It was as if Luffy awakened from the smell of pasta noodles.

He went downstairs, rubbing his eyes as he stared at you. His hair was messy, and he only had his trousers on, his chest vulnerable to the cold breeze of the sea. “Hey luffy, couldn’t sleep?” You asked curiously as you started to grate the cheese into a separate pan. “I smelled food!” He replied, his eyes sparkling as he bounded over to you. He sniffed the cheese and you swore he started drooling right then and there. You slapped his hands away, making him pout at you, crossing his arms like a baby.

“Don’t eat it yet- dummy.” You replied, continuing to try and make the sauce while defending the food from Luffy. It was quite a difficult task- swatting hands away while stirring? It was hard enough to deal with Luffy’s food obsession without doing anything else. He had almost no patience when it came to waiting for food, especially if you or Sanji were making it.

“Is it done yet?...” He asked, groaning as he melted into your shoulder with a groan. His stomach was already growling even though he ate a huge snack just an hour or two ago. “It would go by faster if you helped.” You replied, bonking his head with your fist.

He bounced to his feet, eagerly waiting for you to tell him what to do to help. Anything to make the food ready faster! “Here, we have to mix the noodles with the sauce, so stir it slowly while I pour them in.” You said, taking the pot and adding the noodles. Surprisingly, Luffy was a pretty decent cook! (If you counted literally just stirring the pot as cooking skills, then he was pretty good)

You poured some of the salted pasta water with the sauce, it always tasted better that way :) “Is it done yet?” How many times has he asked this? You didn’t know, but finally you had the answer he’d been waiting for. “Yeah, it’s done.” You replied as he jumped up and down with excitement.

You poured some onto his plate and he immediately took a bite. He had sparkles in his eyes as he continued to stuff his face with the pasta. “Mffm! Sho GHOOD!” You could barely understand him with his cheeks stretched out with pasta, but the message came across clearly enough. You loved it when Luffy was happy like this, and you’d gladly make pasta for him anytime he wanted.

“Thank you y/n! You’re the best.” He said, kissing your cheek before going back to the mountain of food on his plate. The food managed to disappear in a matter of seconds, you swore he had beaten a record of some sort. You patted his head softly before saying softly, “I love you luffy.”

It was a really late night, after a long battle too. Everyone on the victoria punk was either sleeping or receiving treatment for their wounds. Not you. You were in the kitchen, fixing up some pasta for yourself since you thought after a long fight, this was a nice reward for your efforts. Pasta was such a nostalgic food that you ate when you were younger, it never failed to bring you comfort even on hard days.

Kidd was wandering around, looking for you, only to find you in the kitchen. “Oi, what are you doing?” He asked gruffly, standing behind you with a tired look on his face. His hair was down, his goggles around his neck. His red hair draped down the sides of his face, his intense eyes now softening. “I’m making pasta, want some?” You asked softly. He turned away with a grunt, he didn’t want to admit he was absolutely starving. Not because of his pride, but because he didn’t want to make you work harder for him.

Stomachs don’t lie. When his stomach growled, there was such a long silence, and all you could hear were the pasta noodles boiling softly in the background. Kid’s face turned a bright red, even brighter than his hair as he clutched his stomach with his hand. You struggled not to laugh, “I’ll make some for you too. Can you help me?” You asked him. He nodded and tried his best to follow your instructions.

“Yeah, just grate the cheese.” You said kindly, showing him how to use the block of parmesan. He ended up breaking the entire block in half by accident, his hand was too strong. “That’s alright, we can just use it like that.” You replied, patting his head, earning yet another death glare with red cheeks from the tulip head.

The pasta was almost done! Now to just mix the sauce with the noodles, that was the easiest part! You had your hand guiding his as he stirred the pot as gently as he could. If you squinted, Kid had a soft smile on the corners of his lips, he enjoyed doing this with you. “All done!” You said happily, crossing your arms before serving it onto two plates for the both of you.

He noticed you gave him plenty more than yourself which made him scoop more onto your plate with a huff. “Don’t give me more, dumbass.” He said gruffly, sitting down right next to you. “Kid, there’s literally the entire pot full of pasta, I can get more if I want.”

Both of you ate in silence, but Kid now found a new comfort in his rather- uncomfortable life. Making pasta with you.

a/n - help this was adorable 🥺

#one piece #one piece x reader #eustass kid #kid x reader #kid x y/n #kid x you #kid one piece #eustasscaptainkid #luffy #luffy x reader #luffy x y/n #luffy x you #monkey d. luffy #mugiwara no luffy #strawhat luffy #ルフィ

[chromatic-lamina]

one piece 1091 spoilers (including things you won't see in viz)

Hey! Well everyone's going OPLA crazy, so 1091 might just fly under the radar, which is a shame, cos' it's a good chapter! I usually only do these commentaries on the chapters with Law, Kid, characters I really like (and I like the Straw Hats, but you know where my heart lies!), or small things that catch my attention like:

Is that Chuji (from Wano) helping Sanji out with the cooking for the crew? AND did

Doflamingo and one of his clones pop in to spice up the party? AND where

are Robin and Franky? Love seeing Jinbei helping out with the cooking, and Brook and Chopper politely enjoying themselves. Chapter's title is Sentomaru!

So the Pacifista and the weaponised sea beasts are taking on the navy (and the Vegapunks don't know that their defenses have been breached yet. The sea beasts are cute in a Big Mom way:

But never fear because

Doll is here! And another of the new vice admirals who was to the right of those two frames above. Beating up sea beasts, I think, and making their way to the Pacifistas (Doll already arrived!).

It seems that

if Kizaru hadn't breached the defences that the navy wouldn't stand too good a chance against the Robo beasts, OR, if Kizaru was with them, maybe they would. Also, love Usopp with his sniper specs (or whatever they are).

Also, it seems that Vegapunk is pretty blind to

the weakness in the control hierarchy. As shown earlier with the whole seraphim debacle, it's too easy for one person in the chain to wrest control. Then again, there is or was an assumption that everyone is trusted. Going out of order, but Jay Garcia Saturn Kizaru saying (thanks @darkspock)

that it would be good to keep Vegapunk alive (he is alluding to Vegapunk here, as Kizaru confirms he's set to kill him in the next panel) in the same way Jay Garcia Saturn says that

it was a shame to lose the weaponised beasts, and that losing them, and ultimately Vegapunk, because they are the less valuable or even dangerous assets, show how far removed he is from humanity. BUT, he does want to keep one Vegapunk! (Edit in: And I wonder now if Kizaru is talking about Sentomaru)

York! Love me a good villain. Ahhh. And also the power station, and Punk Records cannot become collateral damage. Elimination fo the rest of Vegapunk is the top priority. I still think the Victoria Punk might have a link to all of this too! (just from the name).

Anyway, back to the linear storyline. Before Sentomaru

bites the dust, Usopp, Nami and Brook sight Kizaru, and Brook mentions Sabaody. It's not forgotten, throughout the piece.

AND, I just had a thought, they weren't taken out by Kizaru this round, far from it, but Kid and Law (and all the other supernova, other than Bonney, Luffy and Zoro) were taken out by other forces before they got the chance to flee from (or fight) Kizaru again. It's a good way of showing the high stakes and who is left in the game. (Usopp still has his specs).

So Vegapunk is not aware of Kizaru's determination to let Sentomaru fight from his own morals, and Sentomaru's resolve to protect Vegapunk at all costs. The very small background story (we had some before) is sweet, as always, especially the relationship between "Uncle" Kizaru and Santomaru.

And speaking of cute and hoodlum and maybe awkward, but so at home in one's skin to not even be aware of it:

Young

Kizaru. SO Kizaru wipes out Santomaru and it affects

Stella Vegapunk (Atlas too?). But York is unaffected, and won't give up the code! (And Usopp has lost his glasses).

What if the "Old Friends" that Jay Garcia Saturn Kizaru refers to were

this treacherous bastard, and his now bubble-wrapped

colleague, Kaku!

Smart move on Sanji's part, but let's reel it back a little:

Rob Lucci takes Stussy out (and Oda did say in the most recent SBS that he finally learnt how to draw bums, so he's taking every opportunity to draw bums. Butt only female bums, apparently!) And declares:

that he and Kizaru are besties and everyone's days are numbered, BUT, what if Jay Garcia Saturn Kizaru was talking about Rob Lucci (and Kaku) when he said it was a shame to lose old friends. Lucci is one of those kinds of villains who should be on the most-hated list (like Spandam and Walpole). He's good looking for sure, and CP9/0 have sad stories, but dammit!

Also, Big News Morgans is not gonna be happy about Stussy. But Sanji's move against Kaku above was so swift and cool. And it's Nami declaring Stussy Chan, isn't it? I don't think it's Sanji, due to the positioning of the text bubble, but I could be wrong.

This guy (Zoro)

is on the offensive (looks great!). And so is

this guy! Also love that Luffy uses 'we' to describe the whole crew (the whole generation?) being stronger.

And Santomaru's Japanese attack names and their meanings, apparently won't appear in Viz:

T/N: "TIN: "SUMO STRIKE" IN VIZ.

ASHIGARA IS THE MOUNTAIN ASSOCIATED WITH THE LEGENDARY KINTARO WHO INSPIRED SENTOMARU'S DESIGIN.

I'm sure I've missed a ton, but there you go! Oh, where's Robin? (and Chopper). Were they going to the Sunny? Also, these two scenes were superrr cute! Bonney and Luffy should definitely be besties.

#one piece #chapter 1091 #monkey d. luffy #vegapunk #kizaru one piece #borsalino one piece #sentomaru one piece #rob lucci #stussy #kaku #blackleg sanji #roronoa zoro #jay garcia saturn #gorosei #egghead arc spoilers #one piece spoilers #op spoilers #opspoilers #chapter 1091 spoilers #chromacaps #chromanga #chromalami #one piece meta #long post

[rxnefairs]

Bake Off ft. The HOTD Cast

For @youleavethetardisbrakeson and their post because it’s absolute gold.

Milly Alcock - Struggling to operate the oven. She doesn’t know what temperature the cake is supposed to bake at, but she’s really really trying and we love her for it. Will probably pull a Jade Thirlwall and start rocking herself on the floor. (See the photo at the end for reference.)

Emily Carey - She’s the one that’s really precise about measurements. They’re using the back of a knife as a leveler and everything. She’s also eating strawberries as they go along because it’s honestly such a vibe and we love that.

Emma D’Arcy - An absolute GOD at baking. They’d probably finish before everyone else and sit back while drinking their Negroni Sbagliato with Prosecco in it. Would also win the whole show. The entire cast has no idea where they got it.

Olivia Cooke - Constantly talking to herself. She’s ready to bust out a cookbook at this point. Stress eating the whole way through and really really wants a martini. She will steal sips of Emma’s Negroni when they’re not looking.

Paddy Considine - He’s not taking any of this seriously. AT ALL. Treats the tent like his personal runway. Bro’s quoting RuPaul’s Drag Race every other second. He’ll start frosting his cake and say that it’s giving pastry chef realness.

Matt Smith - Regretting all his life choices. A bit of a basic bitch and chose to make a Victoria Spongecake at one point. He’s actually an okay baker but his station is next to Paddy’s, which means having to listen to six different renditions of Who’s Loving You?

Fabien Frankel - Secretly super competitive. He really wants to win this even though everyone knows it’s going to be Emma. He’s glaring at everyone because of how much he wants to win but is constantly making heart eyes at Eve Best.

Rhys Ifans - Loud. Trying to screw everyone over and ends up not finishing in time. He’s eating chocolate in the corner while everyone else’s creations are being judged. Also takes great pleasure in stealing Fabien’s ingredients to mess with him.

Steve Toussaint - The only sane one there. Just vibing with himself and the food he makes. The best baker of the bunch behind Emma. Always checking on Eve to make sure she hasn’t burned herself and/or had a nervous breakdown.

Eve Best - Having a nervous breakdown. Needs her Emotional Support Steve. She’s nervously giggling the whole show. Actually a decent baker and no one is more shocked than Eve herself.

the ✨reference photo✨

#agree? disagree? let me know #these are either right on the nose #or completely off base #there’s no in between #i also had too much fun making this #milly alcock #emily carey #emma d'arcy #olivia cooke #paddy considine #matt smith #fabien frankel #rhys ifans #steve toussaint #eve best #hotd #hotd cast

[araminakilla]

Tad 4 theory: The main theme of the movie

My brain: Seriously, already??? The movie comes out in-

Shhhhh, it's never too early to cook.

It's not that deep but I'm just wondering what is the main theme of Tadeo Jones 4. We know the group will travel to the past and make it to their present before it's too late.

Maybe the theme will be something about "letting your past go and focusing on what you have in the present" and I could be wrong, but this is a lesson that it will most likely affect not Tad, but MUMMY the most.

Yes, Tad may have some other issues to resolve that we don't know about. Maybe he's going to marry Sara and he's sad his parents (and probably his granny) aren't with him while Sara has her father still present.

Maybe Ramona has also something to say regarding her tragic past and how it was unfair her reign only lasted 3 days or maybe even Sara has some problems regarding her past, be with her father or Victoria or who-knows-who.

But it is Mummy the one who is going to make the wish...

Why? As seeing this is going to be the funniest movie of the franchise, I think I can't have some sad undertones. It could be he isn't making the wish for him, but for his friends.

Maybe he want Tad to encounter his parents or for Sara, her mother.

Maybe he want to take Ramona to her era when Egypt was great so she can see her subjects again (she mentioned at the end of the third movie that she misses them)

Or maybe he just wants to randomly travel through time so he and his friends could see past events that were only recorded in books. It would be interesting if the "travel between time" is decided on whoever holds the lamp or maybe they get a travel machine or a clock or something.

Would be interesting if Mummy didn't even say where/when he wants to travel and the magic of the lamp just transports him to the time he was alive because... lore and stuff, but I think this won't happen.

Also Mummy will finally had to confront his mistakes for once because he was partially responsible for the curse of the third movie. He unleashed Hermes from his chains, made more easy to the police to follow his friends and destroyed the Mona Lisa, but never said "I'm sorry"

He was probably sorry, but the movie didn't show that. And now that his wish is going to reshape the world as they (and we) know it, he is finally going to realize that "yes, I messed up big time and it's my fault"

We still don't know if someone (coughTad) motivated him to make the wish, but he still did it, and the reasons behind that peculiar wish could be more deep than the others realize.

Back with the theme of letting your past go, maybe if they DO have a villain in that movie they could be motivated by the fact that they can't and WON'T let their past go. Probably if there's a genie inside the lamo, it could be their case as part of their backstory.

Or maybe some of the funny characters they meet in the past have their own reasons as to why they cling to the past, and some will let it go, while others (the villains/antagonists) don't.

The possibilities are endless. But I'm pretty sure the lesson would be something related to the past and not let that define you (kind of like Kung Fu Panda 2, but less serious and more funny)

#tadeo jones #tadeo jones 4 #tad the lost explorer #tad the lost explorer 4 #tadeo jones theory #tad stones #sara lavroff #mummy (tadeo jones) #ramona (tadeo jones)

[idsb]

everything always falls together just in time for it to fall apart.

I couldn't wait to leave for 6 weeks. and, as John green once tackily said, 'falling in love is like falling asleep. slowly, and then all at once'. it all clicked into place. and the reasons why I have to leave, too, have all clicked into place: I hate my job. Now I've quit my job. Taylor concert in Melbourne, need to be in Melbourne. boyfriend flying into Sydney, need to pick him up in Sydney on the way down. 2 favorite Aussie bands at a music festival hours and hours' drive into the middle of nowhere; need my car to get there. Got to drive from QLD to Sydney to Melb. Housemate is leaving to go to England next week anyway, a lot of what I like about it here will be gone. Well, now I've found more things to like. Well, now the landlord is selling the house. Well, housemates are getting a new place together but I've still got all the other things that render me staying impossible. Well, now there's a cyclone headed straight for this region that I've got to outrun. Now there's a girl I know who wants a ride south who will help me with gas when I'm financially stressed. Time to go. Now.

There is no other answer but to leave. One of my housemates is a big believer in the power of the universe and when it wants you to do things. And yet, I wish I could stand here and brace myself against the gale force winds of the cyclone, feet cemented to the earth, and stay. I keep thinking, "if it wasn't for this I would stay", "if it wasn't for this I would stay" and before I've known it, "this" is literally every single factor that could possibly be worth considering except for where my heart is. I think it through and I know it's true: I came to Australia to see Taylor and I'd die without doing so. My boyfriend is flying in and I need to see him, and the impending cyclone would keep us apart his entire trip here if I don't leave to meet him; he couldn't fly up and I couldn't drive down any later than tomorrow. He wants to see the Great Ocean Road, I need my car in Victoria for the music festival. 2/3 of the people I love here are leaving and if I stay it won't be the same anyway; it won't be worth missing everything else for.

But my heart is tethered to the one street in town and the 2 palm trees on the beach that are beautiful to sit under on a sunny day, and to the girl at the boba tea spot who always looks so happy to see me and the sweet woman who owns the coffee shop I frequent, and the grass on the great lawn overlooking the turquoise sea and the memories of the books I've read in the marina, and the breakfasts I've eaten and taken for granted on the deck in the morning light filtered through the bamboo and birds of paradise plants. All the things that were, for the most fleeting moment, simple things about my home. My day to day life. Only about 2 weeks ago did I realize how extraordinary these things were compared to what my life in New York looked like. The novelty of the turquoise water and staring out at the sun glistening off the ships and the beach a 2 minute drive away and the most loving, maybe closest friends I've ever had living in my home; waiting for me to cook dinner and debrief the day over wine every single day. Taking an electric scooter around when I can't drive. the orange flowers that hang over the driveway. For these two weeks I have looked at everything with the sense of nostalgia and wonderment I will one day look back on it with, so as to not look back and think about how I didn't appreciate it.

I still don't think I appreciated it. How could someone ever live in an affordable and wonderfully furnished house 2 minutes from the beach and want to leave? With good coffee and colorful flowers and an ocean the temperature of a heated pool. I know there are reasons why I did, but now that the "nostalgia" I feel will become the present and not the future in just 24 hours, I feel sick to my stomach. Katie asked me if I'd packed yet and the thought of leaving this room empty never to see it again left me sick to my stomach. Another chapter of my life coming to an abrupt halt. This one, like the sun breaking through in the middle of an endless rainstorm. And just as you're reveling in the glory of the daylight, the clouds roll back in. They go on as far as the eye can see.

I don't know if I will ever find anything like this again in the whole time I am alive. Struggle has presided over my entire time in Australia thus far, and struggle is all I see on the horizon as I am unsure where I will go next in this country, how I will earn money, or where I will live. I am dreading seeing my boyfriend and cannot even place excitement for it in my brain, because it means I will be gone from here and back into the storm of uncertainty and all the bad things this country has brought me. The past few weeks in this place were the rainbow filled eye of a terrible cyclone, one far bigger than the one that is currently stampeding towards this place.

I do not want to go back to the rain.

#save

[practically-an-x-man]

Your OCs have to go into witness protection, where do they go, what are their new names and jobs? (And yes, I see Kestrel and Nikoletta, who are giving me "Really? You must be joking" looks...)

Oooh thank you! This is a really neat question!

Rae: Since she's already fluent in a lot of different languages, it's pretty easy for her to settle into a different life. She ends up in France, teaching English-language immersion for a public school under the name Raquel Moreau.

Robin: This one's tough... she's a performer, so a lot of people have seen her face and name before. She has to move across the country, and ends up working a low-profile job stocking shelves for a grocery chain under the name Melody Laurence. She doesn't get out much, since she's worried she'll be recognized. Peter isn't technically supposed to visit her, but they can't exactly stop him when he can zip across the country at a moment's notice

Madison: Um... how? She has a lot of extremely visible, identifiable physical mutations. The good news is, she'd be hard to identify without them, all she really needs to do is use Hank's serum every day and that's enough of a disguise. She ends up in Miami, working as a lifeguard on South Beach under the name Victoria Smythe.

Ophelia: She has to give up her hero work as Argonaut, which hurts her, but the rest is pretty easy to acclimate to. She's fluent in Italian already, so they move her out of the States entirely and settle her in Sicily, where she works as a civil architect with the name Luisa Abbiati

Jasper: Still works as a nurse, but is moved to a small town outside Denver, Colorado. They grow out their hair a little and stop dying it, and put together a wardrobe that's a little less flashy. Their new name is Rowan Evans

Katherine: Ends up moving back to the South, though is placed in Alabama rather than Tennessee (she is Not pleased about that). She works as a line cook during the day and spends her weekends organizing files for the local library archives, under the name Lashana Wells.

Kestrel: Well, you're right... they're not pleased about this at all, it took a lot of effort to build the life they have and they're honestly a little pissed at having to rewrite it all. The actual switch isn't too hard, since they can just shapeshift into another form and start using a different name and nobody would be able to tell the difference, but they're pretty miserable to have to give up their life as Kestrel.

Quinn: I mean... once she de-punks herself, she's actually pretty invisible. She lets her hair grow out and switches up her wardrobe, and bounces between menial jobs under the name Ramona "Mona" Ellis

Eris: Oh, they're terrible about this. They've been alive for centuries, but never once thought to switch up their identity. They're just... Eris. They're given an identity as a kickboxing instructor named Bellona Hardy, but that only lasts about a month before they get sick of it and just go back to their usual life (and spook the hell out of Rick when they suddenly pop back up in his apartment like nothing happened). They're sure they can take whoever's trying to hunt them down, anyway.

Nikoletta: Yeah, she's not thrill about this either. She's like "I literally just got out of prison, I'm happy for the first time in my entire life, and you expect me to leave?". She's moved to Salem, Oregon and given a job running historical tours for vacationers... which actually turns into a scam fairly similar to the one she ran in New Orleans. She knows she's not supposed to communicate with anyone from her normal life, but... there are rats in Salem, and she can't control what all they hear...

(I know you're not familiar with the Suicide Squad but another member of the team can control rats, so that's how Nikoletta subtly stays in touch with them)

#my friends!!! #answered asks #my ocs #jasper wilson #ophelia octavius #madison douglas #oc quinn/aces #oc katherine johnson #oc kestrel #oc eris #nikoletta bordeaux #rae mckinney #robin cassidy

[smallswingshoes]

I love learning about other cultures so much, but like the little stuff that doesn't occur to you to share, yknow?

Like, I'm born and raised American, but my mom is from Sweden and only came here as an adult. Something she told me was that they didn't have air conditioning in Sweden cuz it hadn't been warm enough there to really need it, so she had no idea what a/c was when she came here. That's so fascinating to me! Like, it never occurred to me she wouldn't know!

A coworker of mine, Hazem, was born in America and grew up for a little bit here, then grew up for a while in Egypt and became a pharmacist there. (He's now doing his tests to be a pharmacist here.) He's a practicing Muslim and we talk about interesting cultural differences and I said something about how the Christian trinity looks polytheistic to Jews so Christiniaty looks polytheistic to Jews. He was confused because Christinity doesn't always believe in the trinity and I was like !!!! What??? I'd never heard that here, but to him it was super obvious and must be more commonplace in Egypt. I'm sure there are Christians in America who don't believe in the trinity, but I had literally never heard of that and he thought it was the most obvious thing. Clearly it seems much more common of a belief in Egypt than here. That's so fascinating!! The way the culture must be different because of that is just so interesting to me!!

I had a coworker briefly named Narak who I think was from.... oh fuck this was years ago so my memory is hazy, but I think from Cambodia? And we had an interesting discussion one time where he actually asked me if I was white! Because I look white but I'm also Jewish, so I consider myself conditionally white. Because of this, I sometimes talk about myself in a way other white people usually don't to him, I think. And it was an interesting moment because it was clear that the way Americans imagine race is so clearly not the default in other cultures! Before him, I've literally never been asked before in person if I was white. Cuz most people just assume I am white. For him, there was obviously a different understanding of race than the typical white American perception of it. It was so interesting!!

Narak and I also talked about how Americans are weird about food from animals that still have their head! Something that I had also learned from my mom! I told him I'm a bit more used to it than other Americans cuz of my mom, but I'm also a little freaked out by animal heads sometimes. He told me about how he'd like kill his own chicken and pluck it and cook it and that was pretty normal. I thought it was pretty cool! He also mentioned that he had actually had dog as food and I was curious what it was like and he told me the meat was pretty tough so you had to like boil it for a long time or something similar to make it more edible. That's so interesting to me!!! Like, I've heard (usually white) Americans be racist about dog as food, ofc, and heard others rebut that, but I'd never really heard that the meat is actually really tough and doesn't taste all that great on its own, at least according to Narak. That's interesting to me!!

Or like how my Russian immigrant customers/patients were some of my favorites! (I'm a pharmacy technician.) The women in particular actually scared my coworkers a bit because they could be very demanding of good work. If you were new, they would tell you to get them an employee who knew what they were doing. 🤣 But we had one regular who, if she liked you, would give you a chocolate. I actually loved these customers because, even tho they seemed harsh to a Midwest American culture, to me they were very no-nonsense and always knew what they were picking up and what they needed and what it was supposed to cost. It was such a different attitude from my other customers!

Or like another coworker I had, I think her name was... Victoria? Vivian? It started with a V, I swear. Anyway she was Hmong and I was Jewish, so neither of us were super tapped into Christian practices. On Ash Wednesday, she had to ask me why people had like black stuff on their foreheads. I told her it's Ash Wednesday and it's some Christian thing every year. She asks me why they do that and I'm like, "I'm Jewish, I don't know!!" 🤣 I also asked her what the dumbest like white person question she'd ever gotten was and she told me someone asked her once "are you Asian or are you Chinese?" That was the funniest fucking thing to me. There are so many problems with the structure of that question.

I just love these neat little differences in cultures from across the world that you just wouldn't know about unless you spoke to someone, yknow? They're not stuff that would normally be, like, in textbooks or travelogs or something because they're things you wouldn't think to point out to others unless it came up, usually. I love hearing about these little cultural differences that pop up and make some conversations so interesting. The lack of a/c in Sweden, how commonplace it is/isn't to believe in the trinity in Egypt, how race can be conceived so differently, that dog meat is really tough, how Russuan women can be delightfully demanding customers, how a Jewish woman and a Hmong woman can be equally confused by Christianity. I honestly love little cultural moments like this; I think it's a great argument against homogenization or assimilation. I get to learn so many interesting little tidbits about other places that I never would have even thought to have thought about!! It's honestly so sad to me how Americans like me can easily go our whole lives without ever learning this type of stuff or even recognizing that other cultures can be so different! Other cultures tend to be much more aware of this sort of thing than we are and it sucks. Not only because it's a form of oppression for Americans to be so America-centric, but also because you're missing out on so much by forgetting there's anything outside of America.

#op #culture #diversity #idk how to tag this #american culture