#WHY U GOTTA MAKE UR LIFE COMPLICATED

[k1llang3lz]

Hey bestie did you miss me

Can I request reader writing a love letter to angie yonaga and then losing it on the way and being super stressed about it, but then like two hours later angie finds their love letter and reads it and then she accepts the confession and then they kiss:) male reader ofc.

(Sorry if this was too complicated omg)

OMG STOPPPP GIRL IDK IF U STILL ON HERE HEY GIRLLLL ( this req was from 2022 jesusss ) AIIIIII IMA GET TO MY JOB.. ima make it gender neutral cuz i have a biggy crush on angie

Dear Angie , .. ( angie yonaga x gn!reader )

how do i write a letter again?.. oh right

you were writing a letter to your childhood best friend angie , who knew it would be this hard to write something you’ve been keeping to yourself all these years

you think about all the memories you’ve had with her , damn aren’t you so lucky to have someone like her in ur life .. jesus ur so caught up in the moment all you’re thoughts are on the letter already

well it’s time to give it to her , BROOOO WHERE DID UR BUS GO?? you check you’re phone and go to the app where it checks how long it takes for the next bus .. 2 HOURS?? WHERE YOU LIVE , IN A RANCH GANG????

you not waiting in allat , you can just walk to her house anyway.. its just 20 minutes away! .. and its raining .. andd weren’t you just holding something? yes the letter .. wheres your bag? yk that you put the letter in .. oh you didn’t bring a bag .. and you held the letter in your hand this whole time.

NOW THE LETTERS GONE . AND GUESS WHAT YOU NOTICED THAT WHEN YOU WERE 2 MINS AWAY FROM ANGIES PLACE. calling you the ultimate unlucky student..

you poured your heart out on that letter and its gone..you were finally ready to tell angie how you feel. how you feel when your eyes interlocked , how you felt when she fixed your hair or clothes , how you felt when you stayed at her house late nights , how you felt when she sculpted you . you were inlove , you ARE inlove. but all that information gone now and she wont know unless you tell her.

whatever , you spent all last night and all this morning writing it . you’re already infront of her house anyways. devastated , you text her to open her door.

“ y/n !! oh i was just about to call youu , i wanted to take a walk with you like a nature walk ! atua thinks its great for motivation and gratifying the world we live in 🤗🤗 “

you couldnt help but stare into her eyes .. you were lost in love , drunk in love , she looks so perfect right now..

“ that would be nice ang , alr lets go “

guess where you guys are walking , BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM , AND WHERE THE LETTER IS !!!! 😤😤😋😋🤪🤪🫱🏻‍🫲🏿🫱🏻‍🫲🏿

angie stops mid-walking.. “ do you feel that? that energy .. love energy! its from under this bench , ”

you really love her .. but wtf is she on abou- OH MY DAYS ITS YOUR LETTER !!!! 😛😛

she reads it blah blah

“ y/n , you wrote this ? ”

u stunned asl .. “ haha uhhh haha uhhhh 😅🥲😀 “

“ oh thank atua ! .. y/n i’ve felt like this for a long time .. i never knew you felt the same way ! “

oh my days . and you didn’t know this before. you could’ve done something before like man this is why you gotta thi-

“ angie . i want you to be my girlfriend , i’ve thought about telling you for a long time but i’ve wouldn’t have thought you felt the same wa- “

she pulls you in and kisses you 🫠🫠

BLAH BLAH SHE YR GF YALL HAPPY LITTLE CUTIES IM SO TIRED GNNNN

#danganronpa #danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa goodbye despair #angie yonaga #angie yonaga x reader

[haejjoon]

HELLO YES IM BACK strap in folks i hope u dont mind the spam cuz i love vomitting out brainworms online. Im glad my ask put u in a good mood! Because ur reply put me in one!! Anyways once again i love checking this blog like the daily newspaper to see everyone discussing things so fun

First of all i did see ur art of that rank 1! Powerful homoeroticism. I really enjoyed it. The "go all out? That sounds like fun" HEBDIWBZUWBIZN???????? Has the same vibe as goro's "ill need all the practice i can get to take you out" just the phrasing and the double meaning behind every one of these losers interaction constantly makes me go Oh? Oh! Oh... Oh! Ohhhhhhhhh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Secondly, do not even get me started on the fucking romance options in the game. Im aroace and i haaate when every single confidant story with a girlie just has to go "wow u have helped me so much and ur so kind.....it must be because u have a crush on me!" Or "we've come to the obligatory rank where i somehow from somewhere at some point in time developed feelings for u and i have to ask u out!" Fuck no! Stop treating romantice relationships as the destined "upgrade" to your already existing friendship for fucks sake. Like i get that its a game mechanic for the players to have their fun and what not but it just pops out of nowhere sometimes and comeon even kawakami?????

On that note, idk how this fits but i love self projecting and hcing akiren and goro being on the aroace spectrum too but they haven't figured it out yet so it just makes the whole mess of complicated feelings between them even funnier

Goro to ann: "i hate this guy so fucking much" "are you sure you don't just have a crush on him" "what's a crush"

Goro: i hate how pretty that man is. i have to tackle him. i have to pin him down to the ground. no ann i do not want to hug him i want to Violently Crash My Body Into Him

It just adds more spice yaknow?

(Anyways thank you again for the food and happy lunar new year if u celebrate! 🍊🧧🍊🐇)

ehe the go all out line was probably my favorite, next to holmes/watson. thinking about the fact that akira can't do all-out attacks on his own in swap bc he doesnt have teammates... so of course going "all out" would be fun

yeah :( honestly i do feel sorry for turning the girls down but it'd just make me worse to accept their feelings. it really does say a lot about how theyve been treated by the men thus far, to start romantically liking the first guy who's half decent to them. ugh ladies this is why you gotta look at each other (looking at you, makoharu)

my goro has probably never had a romantic attraction to anyone in his life! ive always headcanoned him as sexually attracted to men, but demiromantic if that makes sense? hes got SO much going on with him, romance just isn't wven a possibility in his mind until akiren comes along

(happy late lunar new year to you too! im so sorry it took this long to respond aiooaaoaaooaoa i hope you're doing well <3)

#swap au asks #persona 5 headcanons

[mintymayo]

my life is so cringe rn. i had like 4 seizures after starting lamotrigine for bipolar. which is also an anti seizure medicine. and is just straight not supposed to do that. it should not cause seizures. but i would have them right before i was supposed to take the lamotrigine, and correlated with dose changes/timing. but it was working so well i felt so good!! i didn't want to stop

so i went to the neurologist and he was like "u probs have an underlying seizure disorder. try taking it around the clock instead of just in the morning" and so i do that. and i have 2 more seizures.

and so i go back recently and showed him a video of me having one hes just like "yeah thats a really bad seizure. definitely not to be taken lightly. i have never seen anyone react like this to an anti seizure medicine before. we already did multiple eegs and other stuff, u gotta go to the epilipilogist" (specific epilepsy doc idk how to spell it). so i guess thats where im going next. all the way in may.

ill just stay on keppra. the worst medicine ever that makes me more depressed than when i started and destroys my appetite. while weaning off the medicine that made me feel really great and motivated. in my first semester of college where im already struggling with an accelerated class that has a final in literally 2 days.

this is so cringe tbh.

side note: ambulatory eegs are SO ASS they put glue on your fucking head in ur hair and then don't even remove it all and im STILL finding tiny glue pieces in my hair. it's been like 2 weeks dude stop.

side note 2: there's so much medical shit i hate doctors. my mom got permanently ill, lost her job, our house (main breadwinner) and has energy, confusion and speaking problems after taking something that will not be named for legal reasons. NOBODY believed her ever so she has just slowly recovered some over time (enough to work again and stuff) but without any help from doctors.

i can't even get a fucking root canal done correctly.

which is obvs nothing compared to that but still. i specifically say "hey, my mom had really deep really complicated roots. please make sure to be really thorough." and they were like "sure"! anyway i didn't get a crown put on immediately because i had a gut feeling they fucked it up. guess who can still feel in that tooth. it doesn't hurt much but still. i even told the dentist and he was like "well theres no pain. we classify this as a successful root canal :)" like dude.

AND THEN I've had so much shit going on w the seizures that i haven't been to the dentist and now the tooth about the root canal one is getting a cavity probably bc the sharp edges of the root canal tooth is right below it piercing it. luckily it doesn't hurt (no idea why) but like oh my godd

#tagged #✰ #i could write 70 posts about my families and i's medical traumas and issues #like problems with doctors not just medical problems #i do appreciate that my neurologist did just tell me straight “yeah i agree it definitely seems related (lamotrigine and seizures) but idk- #-shit about this so i have to send u elsewhere #like thank u for at least not dismissing me. ur a real one #epilepsy #seizures #non epileptic seizures #idk if theyre epileptic or not 🤷‍♀️ #✩ #oc

[menalez]

new bi anon. Yall it's not as complicated as you make it seem.

Maybe yall are just bi, and men are just THAT fucking ugly and undesirable.

A lot of women seem so hellbent on "justifying" their attraction to men somehow. They think it's not "fair" that they "have to" identify with the label of "bisexual" since they don't want to "be straight" irl, because again, real life men are repulsive and annoying. If you crave male intimacy, ya aint a lesbian.

Nothing wrong with being bisexual. You don't have to go through hoops to explain away or justify your bisexuality. It's fine. A lot of ssa leaning bi women share the same expirience.

Bi women can be cool and fun and have girlfriends while still being bi, I promise you, yall don't gotta play these games bro 😭😭😭

absolutely, it’s ok if ur bi and don’t want to be with men. it doesn’t mean ur actually a lesbian or anything of the sort, in fact there are bi women out there who cut men out of their dating pool and they’re still bi. plus way too many bi women only date men and still call themselves bi, so why should a bi woman only dating women not own her sexuality too? if anything it’ll help many bi girls & women see that they can also date & prioritise women & perhaps help them have a bisexual figure to relate to more.

that said, i can understand being confused. i spent like 4 years or so where i was really conflicted on my sexuality. it can be confusing and unclear especially if there’s stuff to work through and make sense of. i always advise to just take your time and not worry too much about labelling urself, if u aren’t sure then it’s ok to take time to figure it out. eventually you’ll know regardless because no matter how much society tries to fuck with your sexuality & make you repress yourself, it ultimately becomes clear regardless

[taikanyohou]

hey faiza i feel weird sending u this but ive followed u for quite a while now and the more u share ur inner thoughts the more my appreciation for how intelligent u are grows? like i said, i know this is odd, but ure smart, eloquent and very expressive when it comes down to sharing your opinions on specific subjects (regardless of whether i agree with them or not). anyway, u dont have to answer i just wanted to say this, thats all!

hiiii anon!!!

AHHHHH no no please don't feel weird!! thank you so much for this!!!! idk at 27 it feels like i still havent Lived a lot even though .... when i write it down, i Have?? and my opinions change a lot all the time and at first i wasnt cool with that, i used to feel very ... urm. hypocritical?? of myself?? or not true to myself. but overtime i've learnt that Living actually Does Do That To You. you gain new experiences and perspectives and learn a little more about yourself and so your opinions on things change too. and thats a Good Thing!

and i dont wanna censor myself anymore ig? i feel like ive spent a lot of my life doing that. i am who i am and i am what ive lived through and its not all been good but its not all been bad and its not all been wise but its not all been dumb but hey, we're here now! of course i can either choose to regret some things, or i can choose to say yeah i lived through that and it didnt work out or go well and its only bc i lived through it that i know that now, so i choose that view instead. and im also done with censoring and hiding and shying away from who /i/ am too. and once i used to be Very Frustrated bc i used to feel like i was too much and too many things and liked too much and too many things. how can i be muslim that wears the hijaab AND desi (and not Just desi but BOTH indian AND pakistani which is its own huge dilemma fhshxisjdjsj) AND queer AND a woman WHILST being born and living in the uk. how does all that even FIT into one human?? how can i like So Many Things that sometimes contradict each other?? for example how can i Love Sports and be so sporty and yet be an asian muslim girl bc that just doesnt work in our culture?? or so i THOUGHT it didnt bc thats what i was told as a kid, until i was like no something isnt right here bc at 11 i Loved my judo and football classes at school and then i saw amir khan, a british pakistani boxer from the same town as i am, win an olympic gold medal for our country when he was just 17, and i was like ... see?? it isnt weird. and even now i love working out and lifting weights, no matter how much my ammi looks at me and thinks "you're a Desi Girl though watching sports is one thing but you being into it and actively doing it is just Weird but ur my daughter and at 27 i cant tell you what to do". so sometimes, you have to be the one to break the mould, ig.

but. yeah. the more i immersed myself with things that look like me and feel like me and reflect who i am, the more i was like, yeah ... i Can be all these things and thats cool, man. if that makes me complicated and Too Much, i just dont care anymore. and its work to search for those things that look and feel and reflect you, but thats what makes you appreciate every facet of yourself. that yeah, its hard to find, but thats what makes it so special, bc its rare. and when you start finding a community of people that like those things too, for their own reasons, you're like ... yeah, there's gotta be something that connects us in why i like this thing along with so many other people too.

and like even now i havent figured out my maximum yet, but there's so much fun in knowing that i'll carry on learning more about myself, the more i live.

#faiza answers #ahhhh anon THANK YOU!!!! 🧡🧡🧡

[lovebillyhargrove]

hello i love you so much thankyou thankyou thankyou for the nicest words omg 🥺🥺

and literally yes!!! like it doesn't make SENSE that neil just up and left cos billy died like that literally just. does not TRACK. so therefore, something must've happened!!! okay something HAD to have happened!!! it's the only way it fits!!!

and something happening between flayed!billy and neil would he like. extra fucked up and heartbreaking. cos we KNOW billy's in there, trying to claw his way out, begging for someone, anyone, to see, to help. so flayed!billy going into billy's HOUSE?? running into his FATHER??? like u just know billy probably breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of neil probably for the first time in his life. only for neil to clearly notice something was wrong, but the second billy broke through, used his own voice??? neil just!!!! being the piece of shit dad that billy's always known him as!!! billy probably beating himself up for even considering the thought that fucking NEIL would be the one to save him.

and neil!!! neil in the hours between the run-in in the kitchen and the phone call that brought him to starcourt, probably just KNOWING that something was up, like. he knows his son. as much as billy hates it, neil KNOWS him. better than probably anyone, unfortunately. and in his own messed up way, neil fucking loves billy. god knows he doesn't like him, sure as shit isn't proud of him like some fathers are of their sons, but billy's his son, for better or worse, and he's done his damn best to raise him to be the Man neil thinks he should be. and billy hasn't made it easy, and tough love's the only option left usually, but it's still love.

so then billy's fucking dead, and there's no logical reason, there's no explanation, there's no body. there's just the echo of billy crying, of him asking neil for help, fucking begging, and neil reacting the way he always reacts, becos billy needs to grow the hell up. can't just cry and expect everyone to make everything all better. needs to toughen the fuck up and act like a man and handle his own shit. just like neil was expected to.

except now billy's dead, and neil use to wish for the kind of peace the house now has, but it's too quiet, and he never realised max had so many friends houses that she hung out at, and he thought billy use to complain just to complain about the mowing situation out back, but no, the backyard really is a bitch to mow. and now neil's gotta live with that. turns out, he fucking can't.

okay this escaped me again omg i am truly sorry but billy & his parents situation really fucking gets me and i, too, think way to much about it. cos ur RIGHT!!! neil truly is complicated!!! like he's a middle aged man thats chosen to not get help re:his shitty parenting and obvious life issues, so my sympathies are limited compared to billy. but!!!! boy, do i sure love thinking about that complicated mess!!! please feel free to share literly every headcanon and thought you have about them, becos i would be obsessed with them probably 🥺🥺 - @biillys

Hi) thank you so much for your amazing answer to my comments!!! ❤️ I kept rereading your piece all day. BEAUTIFULLY heartbreaking ideas, and i agree with your every word. Also, i mean, it absolutely makes sense in the light of s4 where neil disappears (like.. why??), but. BUT. It also makes perfect sense when it comes down to s3 as well, because hey .. billy was possessed for several days. He LIVED at home. He had to interact with his dad!! We never saw that, but it had to be there. And because billy has very complicated feelings towards neil, he would absolutely do something at least while being possessed. Some hc that he would just plain kill him, and that also makes sense. But your idea - of billy reaching out for help to neil - i LOVE this idea. It reflects their relationship. As does Neil's reaction to Billy's death. I'm so glad you shared your thoughts with me on that matter!!!❤️ Neil HAS feelings towards his son. It's just all fucked up. And it's just .. he would be absolutely HAUNTED by what happened to billy, especially always remembering how he DIDN'T help. He would be haunted, and that would be his lifelong punishment

Omg I am so emotional over your words. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! And please, MORE

It's a whole fic right there. A whole beautiful fic❤️

#biillys #harringrove #billy x steve

[joarys]

Imagine being so excited then it turns out the person you wanted to see the most already left....

i can feel my heart breaking and im not even tian 😫

#atots #atots ep 10 #1000 stars #earthmix #phuphatian #WHY U GOTTA MAKE UR LIFE COMPLICATED #JUST KISS ALREADY #or not??? #but i hope they do #pls

[a-simple-imagine]

sugary sweet

requested by anonymous:  “could u pls write a story abt spending ur birthday with vanessa?”

pairing: Vanessa (in the heights) x fem!reader

words: 1.4k+

A/N - this is not as fluffy as you probably expected. I just never write happy stories that involve birthdays, it’s cute at the end though

the bright, early morning sun peeked through the blinds as you slowly open your eyes to find the space beside you vacant. evidence of your girlfriend was there but she was nowhere to be found. the apartment felt eerily quiet. had she already left for work? what time was it? normally she'd at least say goodbye first. what a way to start the day. the rattle of the elevated train shakes throughout the apartment as it zooms past the window. you let out a heavy sigh. today was gonna be a very long day.

"happy birthday!" an excited voice as the bed dips suddenly bouncing you against the mattress. Vanessa wears a bright smile and in her hand was a ceramic white bowl.

"thank you," With both hands against the bed, you push yourself upright. full of fresh berries, Vanessa offers up the bowl but not without stealing one or two first.

"I gotta get to work but you can sleep more if you want," odd offer. you rarely spent time here without her. it was her apartment so you didn't really have a reason to plus that train can be awful annoying sometimes... most of the time. "do whatever but if you plan on goin home just come by the salon with the key, yeah?" a gentle kiss bestowed upon your forehead. a simple nod to confirm you understood the instructions and Vanessa was rushing out the bedroom, only to reappear a mere moment later. "you gonna be alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Unspoken words hang in the air as Vanessa keeps her eyes trained in on you; her feelings left unclear by her quick shrug before rushing out the door. you hear the door click this time. your smile fades into the silence, glancing down at the fruit. picking up a berry, you toss it into your mouth then place it off to the side. a heavy feeling twists at your stomach and pulls at your tear ducts. it was a complicated feeling. you didn't exactly have a reason for it but seeing your birthday as a day of celebration was also difficult. every year felt like it came with a personal checklist of life achievements. career milestones. marriage. babies. fitness goals. buying property. it was like a reminder that you were so far behind other people your age but then again, you weren't even sure what you wanted in life. following such a linear path seemed so trivial in the grand scheme of things. there was no guarantee of happiness or fulfilment but rather they were just the milestones of life everyone was expected to want. all you had was a dead-end job and your developing relationship with Vanessa. She made you happy, you weren't denying that. but did your whole life just equate to settling down with her? dark clouds hung low in your mind. how to spend this oh so special occasion? you could go out? you didn't have a lot of friends so it wasn't like you weren't used to doing things alone. today, however, the thought of doing anything just seemed... pathetic. like a strong reminder of how isolated you truly were. in the end, you decide against going out. decide against going home. you would merely entertain yourself until Vanessa returns. it was strange being in her apartment without her. you focus on her atrociously messy desk. paper, pens, cutouts scattered everywhere. getting out of bed, you take a closer look at the designs pinned to the wall. it was rather selfish but often your cloud of insecurity blinds you from the thought of Vanessa's dreams. you pull one of the designs down. simply but elegant and coloured in a metallic silvery-blue it looked like an evening gown. you had discussed her desperation and desire to leave Washington heights. you knew all too well that she wanted to be a fashion designer and there was nothing you wanted for her more than for her to achieve her dreams. but where do you fit into all of that?

The sun is long gone by the time Vanessa finally arrives home. "you decided to stick around then."

"guess so," you shrug, glancing towards her. she drops a plastic bag or two on the kitchen counter. "I can leave if you want?"

"no- no, I'm glad you're still here," Vanessa quickly responds, breezing right past you towards the bedroom. "so... what did you do today?"

"nothing,"

"for real?" she calls out. "you didn't do anything for your birthday?"

"didn't feel up to it,"

"I knew I shouldn't have left you here alone," was that sympathy or pity in her voice? they sounded similar.

"it's fine,"

"no, it's not," your girlfriend huffs. "I feel bad,"

"don't need the pity, nessa." Vanessa reappears from the bedroom dressed in nothing but a long t-shirt. "isn't that mine?"

"probably," a quick shrug as she looks over herself, "I just... you could have come to the salon or something."

"it's not a big deal," you insist. "it's all good."

"you should care more," she replies, "and we're gonna finish it off right,"

"what does that even mean?" your brows furrow, eyes following the other woman to the kitchen area. "have you eaten?"

"Nah- thought I'd wait for you," truth be told you just didn't feel like cooking but a little white lie never hurt anyone. plus it sounded sweeter to think you waited just so you could eat together.

"Great," the woman spins on her heel and from her hand dangles a white plastic bag that explained the tantalising aroma that had enveloped the apartment. "because I brought take out."

"What kind?"

"Chinese," Proud words accompanied by a knowing smirk. "your favourite."

"you know me well," jumping up, you join Vanessa at the kitchen counter. she's unloading different cartons of food. a quick kiss is placed on her cheek as you grab the cutlery. nothing beats a little Chinese food after a long day

with dinner done and dusted, Vanessa tasks you with taking out the trash despite your protest. it was your birthday you shouldn't have to do it but there was no convincing your very stubborn girlfriend. marching all the way down the stairs of her apartment building; the elevator was once again, broken. it conveniently always seemed to be out of order when you wanted to use it. a slow climb back up, you arrive back to a very dark apartment. "power out or...?" that didn't make any sense. the lights in the hallway were clearly still on. the roar of the train brings with it a warm flicker of candlelight in the corner of the kitchen.

"happy birthday to you," her quiet melodic voice starts to sing as she turns slowly. in Vanessa's hand sits a cupcake with a single pink candle expertly placed in the centre. "happy birthday to you," slow careful steps closer, her hand shielding the flame. "happy birthday dear-"

"do we have to do this?"

"yes," she declared finishing off the song as she meets you in the middle. it's hard not to appreciate the cheesy gesture, an embarrassed smile settling on your lips. "now make a wish." taking a deep breath, you let your eyes flutter closed before blowing out the fire. handing over the cake, you swipe a little of the white frosting on the tip of your finger and into your mouth. sugary sweet. "how is it?"

"want a taste?" a playful quirk of your brow, you place the cupcake on the counter and pull Vanessa flush against you. her hands fall to your hips and you place your arms over her shoulders. "well?"

your girlfriend nods a little, keeping her eyes on yours. leaning in slowly, you connect your lips in a gentle embrace. Vanessa smiles into the kiss. " Feliz cumpleaños, cariño." whispered against your lips. "sorry for not doing more."

"don't be," you shrug a little. "this was enough. you are enough."

looking into her eyes and even in the darkness, you can tell she's holding something back. some comment or feeling. it's the same with you.  despite your words, that heavy feeling still burned in your chest. a lost, empty feeling that may never truly leave but you didn't want to have that conversation. "let's go to bed."

backing away from her, visible confusion crosses your face. "it's only like... ten?"

"exactly," Vanessa takes your hand, a smirk on her lips.

"what about my cupcake?"

"what about it?" A soft little giggle but you don't protest as she leads you towards the bedroom.

#vanessa morales #in the heights #vanessa in the heights #melissa barrera #vanessa ith

[berlinini]

Hey listen I've been following ur blog for a while and Ive come across ur povs about the whole larries, Louis and Harry situation and I agree with it but FOR THE MOST PART. See, I get u thinking that Larry broke up and Harry isn't the angel that his fanbase makes him out to be and he's money hungry and very calculated etc etc, I can see all that but I genuinely don't get why he would try to sabotage Louis' career or even care about his ex bandmates for that matter.

Like we could all have our own opinions so I'll explain where I'm coming from, like H strikes me as a very cutthroat ambitious and selfish individual who doesn't really care about harming anyone UNLESS IT BENIFITS HIS WORK, he looks like someone who would like to keep his rep squeaky clean and stay out of tiring drama and not make any enemies. My observation is that he's intelligent and you gotta give that to him, he's good with people, super diplomatic (even fake to an extent), surrounds himself with a very tight group of upper class A listers and nepo kids and old people holding power in the industry, and he forms close bonds with them to ensure that they don't go against him and to keep his life private and not involve too many people who could make things complicated in the long run cause Hollywood is weird asf.

His whole "mysterious and kind" brand is all for the sake of ensuring that his fans know minimal things about him and he can control what those things are with the help of his competent management, also he is a big name but also somehow very detached from most oversaturated celebs with any messy history to make sure that nobody in the industry goes against him and has a single bad word to say about him, because most people know him surface level and he knows it's for the best, he makes sure to be on the good side of important people and the ones he dislikes, he cuts them off entirely (Simon, a bunch of his previous bandmates who he fired and the 1d tour stylist etc).

He's not the sort of guy to publicly brawl with anyone and he even dates older people and after a breakup he tries to ensure there's no bad blood ALL FOR THE SAKE OF HIS STAINLESS IMAGE. He doesn't want people saying bad shit about him, he knows he's not Taylor and he can't profit off of his controversies but more than that, he wants to look like the "underground indie artist" who's "different" and for that he needs to not get involved in the Hollywood dramatics. He can't handle that, like have you seen him?

I'm saying all of this to put forth the point that unless the downfall of Louis' career would heavily benefit him (btw he wouldn't come up with this on his own, he doesn't seem like the person to jump to twisted ideas like that, not 'cause of morals but just because he seems like he's just good at networking, and then he simply sits back and agrees to everything as his manager's figure out most of the stuff in his career, the strategies and the business part 'cause he doesn't wanna take that load. All in all, he doesn't seem super opinionated, he just seems like a very goal oriented guy who wants to get stuff done and only throws people under the bus if it's necessary but likes to avoid it because that takes a lotta work).

Now lemme be honest, nothing Louis is doing rn seems to be threatening Harry in any way. There genres are different, and they're not even rival superstars or anything. A feud like this between rising stars like Billie with Olivia R or even people at the top of their game like Harry with Taylor(their careers aren't equally established, but they both have HUGE fanbases and you can't deny that) would make sense because they're at the same scale and one losing popularity would make the other one get more free space on the charts.

I'm not saying that Louis isn't popular, but he likes to stay more underground and he said that he wants to do whatever he likes and not care about commercial success and while H said the same thing, I don't believe him that much. Just because they were from the same band doesn't mean anything...like then why isn't Harry focusing on Niall and Zayn when their albums literally charted so well and earlier than L even released anything...Zayn was sooo popular during his solo debut, I don't think Harry tried anything on him. HS1 released around the same time, he should've gotten the Azoffs to try to tear Z down, right?

And Niall, he isn't super star studded but he's doing really well actually, but he and Harry are clearly still friends and went out last year to hike or sumn so why didn't Harry try to sabotage him? Like Harry seems pretty chill and clinical to me, very unspecial, just another sell out superstar who is talented but will rather chase cash, kinda like TS in 1989 era or Liam when he had super underrated great vocals but decided to release Strip That Down to seem edgy which made money but people hated him for it then.

Harry just does things what his manager tells him to do and in turn makes Jeff money, it's all so easy for him.

He doesn't seem like someone who's gonna go so far to take revenge on an ex to burn their career down or to continuously try to push his ex bandmates to the background for no specific reason. That's all, sorry for ranting but you gotta tell me why you're so convinced about your theory.

That's a lot... Feels like you have so many pieces of the puzzle, just need to put them together. Here's a bit of perspective.

Look no one is saying that Harry woke up one day, called Rob Stringer and said: "let's sabotage Louis' career". I think a series of choices made over time and for different reasons led to the present situation, in which Harry is Sony's golden boy, with the industry behind him, and Louis fought for years to have a career. Were these choices made voluntarily, under false promises, under constraints? Were the choices made all by Harry, by Louis, by both, by some men in suit at Sony? Who knows.

You have to look at a series of event that happened over a few years. Quick recap: Louis was one of the most loved members of 1D when the band went on hiatus, Louis' first "solo song" (JHO) was extremely popular, both Louis and Harry were signed to Sony for their solo careers (Zayn too but that was before the hiatus and Zayn was never in direct competition with H as they represented different market shares), HS1 and HSLOT didn't meet Sony's expectations in terms of commercial success, Louis' promised album and tour in 2018 was scrapped, Louis somehow decided to postpone his first album by appearing on the X-Factor instead, pre-Walls songs were mainly pop songs that could've had commercial success and establish Louis as a serious pop star.

Walls was released in 2020 - FIVE years after the hiatus. Pinned at the top of his twitter account is Louis saying "Can't quite believe I'm finally saying this"... If you read what he says about releasing Walls and touring it, there are always so many references to "finally" doing it, to being relieved, underlying that he fought really hard to it to happen.

Louis' famous note app tweet about turning away from pop and assured commercial success in favour of his own sound is so bittersweet. He turned a page because he had to. He couldn't release LT0, which we assume was full of bops like Miss You and Always You. He moved away from pop, while interestingly enough, Harry moved towards it - his trial at being the new soft rock star didn't quite work with HS1 so what did we get? The most inane pop single that charted for weeks after intense promo and even got a Grammy. BTW Louis never said he didn't care about commercial success or charting. He said it was no longer the main purpose behind the songs he was writing.

"Now lemme be honest, nothing Louis is doing rn seems to be threatening Harry in any way. There genres are different, and they're not even rival superstars or anything."

Nothing Louis is doing right now seems to be threatening because he was pushed back so much that it's a miracle he even got a career today. The point is that Louis represented a threat to Harry's career years ago. Their genres are different because Louis couldn't go the pop route. They're not rivals because Louis' career was buried, unable to release music for years, losing the post-1D momentum, focusing on his private life instead.

Rapidly, re: Zayn and Niall. Niall is signed to a different label under a different major. Zayn was signed under RCA/Sony. As mentioned, his genre is wildly different from Harry's, his debut album was released long before HS1. I think Sony thought Zayn would be cash cow (amazing voice, amazing looks, established fanbase, potential to expand the fanbase) but Zayn's refusal to work within the rules of the industry led Sony to let him do his own things. NIL barely got promoted. Latest rumours are that RCA dropped him.

Harry's fans from 1D probably represent an important part of his fanbase which is why he still has to appear cordial with some of his ex-bandmates. Let's just note that he's not exactly out there showing they're still friends - unlike Louis/Niall/Liam who have appeared together publicly to support each other's solo careers. On the contrary, Harry doesn't seem to mind letting the world know that he's won the 1D Hunger Games. He's above a simple boyband, you know.

To conclude, I'll say this: we all make choices. It's clear to me that Harry made his decision a while ago to become a superstar. Was he personally 100% involved in all the subsequent choices that had to be made for his career to become what it is today? We'll never know. But as the saying goes, the end justifies the means.

#answered ask #anon #sorry for the late reply!! #harry styles #sony #the 1d hunger games #lt0 #tumblr user berlinini

[boognish-worshipper]

Moonlight

the second part/continuation of Sunrise, Sunset!

this boutta get interesting……. it gets kinda messy but don’t worry, it isn’t over yet 🙏🙏🙏 also trevor can’t spell over text to save his life

//

Lamar didn’t sleep that night. He couldn’t. He just kept thinking the whole situation over, trying his hardest to connect the dots. Make some sense of it, or at least find some logical way to deny the truth. Had it always been Franklin? It’s not like Lamar ever had a long term girlfriend, or even a chick he was hung up on like his… friend. How long had he been completely naïve? He felt stupid for not noticing sooner. He didn’t even have anyone to confide in. He obviously couldn’t confide in Frank right now. Shit. How would he face him? Lamar screwed his eyes shut tight. What the fuck was he gonna do? He tried thinking about who to turn to. Michael was obviously a no-go, what with the dynamic those two had. Then he thought about Trevor. Maybe he’d help. Maybe. It wouldn’t hurt to just ask, right?

hey

crazy guy

wut leroy. u need smthn?

uh, yeah

sort of

wut iz it?

some complicated bs again. nothin new.

cant u go 2 frank 4 whtevr prblm ur having

not exactly

can i meet u somewhere private?

wut 4

u tryna fuk me leroy?

loco. no.

jus. meet me @ vanilla unicorn asap

Lamar sighed heavily, starting to wonder if this was gonna be a bad idea to try and talk to him about this. But Trevor was kinda fruity anyway, so at least he wouldn’t judge. His phone buzzed again.

alrdy hear bro

Lamar raced over to the strip club, going through the back entrance. Trevor was sitting on his desk, already waiting for Lamar’s arrival.

“LD! What brings you to my fine establishment at this time?” He stood up, but remained leaning against the desk behind him.

“Listen man, it’s.. it’s serious.”

Trevor’s faced lifted, looking surprised. Or.. whatever concerned looked like by his terms.

“How serious we talkin’ bro?”

“Ion know, just some stupid shit I’ve been tryna wrap my head around.”

“Uhh, elaborate on that?”

“It’s gotta do with Fr-…eaky shit going on with me.”

Trevor squinted at him, like he was trying to read Lamar’s mind.

“Like..?”

“Something to do with love, I think?”

“Oh. Well. Why’d you come to me for help?”

“Because I..” He said, the words deflating in his mouth.

“I think you’re the only person who could understand where I’m coming from?”

“…I’m not reading ya. Just say it, Lamar. Jeez.”

“I think I’m in love with someone.”

A long pause filled the air with tension.

“That it?”

“Well, not exactly.”

“Jesus bro, what is the matter with you right now? You look like you’re gonna faint.”

“It’s, it’s someone we know, alright? There.”

Trevor squinted his eyes again, but not for long. His eyebrows flew to his hairline, and he stood upright from the desk he was perched on.

“Wait a minute…”

Lamar looked down at the ground, embarrassment swirling around in his stomach. He felt like some child that had been yelled at for stealing some candy. He didn’t like it. He was a grown fuckin’ man for crying out loud.

“You don’t mean..”

He stood there, saying nothing and grabbing his arm protectively. The silence was back, lingering for too long.

“I fuckin’ knew it.” Trevor said, almost inaudible.

“Wh.. what?” Lamar spluttered out, looking up.

“I fucking knew it!”

Somehow hearing those words comforted and pissed off Lamar. Obviously Trevor wasn’t planning on judging him for it, but how did he know before him?

“What the fuck you mean you knew?!”

“Oh please, Lamar. You aren’t a very subtle person.”

“I am too!”

“No. You’re not. You’re really not.”

“Tell me. How, how am I not subtle as a motherfucker?”

“Hmm… I can think of a few instances to count, but honestly a perfect example was that conversation we had dropping those cars off for he-who-shall-not-be-named.”

Lamar cocked his head sideways, confused. Trevor shook his head before starting his sentence back up.

“Remember when you ah… inquired about Michael and I? Our past?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“You compared us to some.. I don’t know, divorced couple or something. Figuring it was romantic?” He averted his gaze, turning pink.

“Well, I mean after the whole rundown of our partnership, I asked you about how you and our boy Frankie met.”

“Mhm..”

“And you gave me some weird, uncomfortable story about you having a threesome with him- Which he apparently wasn’t even apart of to begin with. Didn’t know why he even appeared in that memory, but I guess it sort of makes sense now. It was also the fact you.. uh, deciphered my relationship, and tried to compare it to you and Frank. That’s how I started to catch on.”

“Shit.”

“I mean I… I was in the same boat as you, kid. You were right, y’know.”

“I was?”

“Michael and I… were never perfect. But back then I was,” His voice lowered.

“…Am.” He corrected, voice barely above a whisper. Coughing, he continued.

“In love with him. Or something.”

“Shit, for real?”

“For reals homie. I know what you’re going through. Only difference is Mikey uh.. was a little more repressed than I was. But you didn’t hear it from me.”

Lamar stood in shock, eventually flopping down on the couch.

“What the fuck am I gon’ do, Trevor?”

“Well, I know I’m friends with him but I’m not exactly as close to him as you or Mike. So I can’t exactly say whether or not he’s like Michael in that regard, you know?”

“Fuck, man…”

“Hey.. I uh, I’m sorry if I wasn’t much help. I never really knew how to deal with those feelings towards Mike. It’s like, even harder to manage when you have a bond like that.”

“No, no. I needed this I think.”

“Go home, Lamar. Try to get some rest or something.”

As he got up, he placed a hand on Trevor’s shoulder.

“Thanks.”

For the first time since they met, Trevor gave him a genuine smile. He patted his hand and scooted him out the door. Driving back, he still felt sort of restless. Even if he did sleep, it wasn’t gonna be enough. When he got back home and in his bed, he pulled out his phone.

So you’re back.

yup

i thought about what you said

Wait - really?

yeah. i’m a fuckin idiot

Doesn’t take a psychic to know that.

hey

that’s uncalled for lady

What is it you need? It’s very late you know - is what I said keeping you up?

bingo bitch

and uh yeah, i need to know what the fuck u said to franklin

what does he know?

All I told him was that I saw you at his house - very frequently I might add.

I might’ve mentioned you were there in his old room all the time, in his bed with someone he knew - an older woman, perhaps? He didn’t take it too well.

wait a minute

his auntie? i mean she bad and all but

i never.. like did anything with her. not like that

He thought differently. The implications might’ve been misread - why would you choose his childhood bed for something like that? Shame on you

and i might’ve picked the wrong fuckin person to speak to

lady, what the fuck? i never fucked his auntie!

i wouldn’t do that to him, even if she got a dumptruck ass

You are a strange man Lamar. All I saw was you two in his bed, very, very often.

I wouldn’t have known you felt anything for him had you not contacted me - and even now you still made a pass at her!

all we did was talk! n there’s nothing wrong wit admiring ass.

Whatever you say - oh wait…

I’m seeing something

goddammit

it better be good

I’m seeing you two again - and you’re right. You’re talking… about Franklin?

why else would we be in his room. if i was gon fuck his auntie we would’ve done it in hers or sumn

or in the livin room maybe.

I’m seeing something else now - he’s taken the place of his aunt. Oh. Wow…

what? what is it?

what do u see?

I… completely misinterpreted Franklin’s reading. It seems like it was supposed to be him in her place.

I’m not sure how he read it exactly - my best guess was that it wasn’t the latter.

And seeing as he no longer lived there, the vision got mixed up some how for both of us. You did have some connection to her though - don’t lie. That was most likely the problem.

i mean yeah. i hit on her a couple times

maybe thought it about it once or twice

More than that.

whatever. still, i ain’t do shit to her, ion stoop that low lady

Then I apologize. But I cannot fix this problem for you - you’re going to have to talk things out

Because right now, he’s assuming you’re acting weird because you actually *did* something with his aunt.

Fuck me man

this sucks

ur evil lady, u know that?

Hey, I’m not the one hanging out with his aunt. Now go to bed. I’ll deal with you another time.

hey wait

come back

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“God fuckin’ damn it not again!”

He chucked his phone against the wall, and began yelling into his pillow. He wasn’t gonna sleep right at all until he fixed this mess. Fucking psychic lady.

The next morning when Lamar passed by his mirror he audibly gasped. He looked like shit. He looked like he was definitely hiding something. And he knew he couldn’t see Frank today. His phone buzzed and as soon as he glanced down he felt the urge to throw it across the room. Speak of the fuckin’ devil. Franklin was fucking calling him. Taking a deep breath, he hit answer.

“Yo.”

“Hey L. How you feelin’?”

“Better. Thanks.”

“Yeah man. You know what was up wit’ you or…”

“I.. I think it was some sort of stomach bug man. Doin’ alright now tho.”

“Glad to hear.”

“So are you callin’ me for something or-“

“Actually yeah. I wanted to talk to you.”

“N-now?”

“Later. Sunset? That cool wit’ you?”

“Uh yeah, yeah. Heard it’s a full moon.”

“Dope. Been meaning to talk about this for a while anyway, and you always dragging me around to go see the sunrise.”

“Makes sense.” More sense than the shit he was in the middle of.

“See you then?”

“Of course dog.”

Click. Lamar dropped his shoulders, which had grown tense during the duration of the call. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to understand what he was dealing with better. He thought to himself that he couldn’t possibly be gay, because he loved himself some hoes now and then. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel the same around Franklin. Women and men… was that possible? Could you be into men AND women? He looked it up on his phone, and found a definition that fit him. Bisexual? That’s a thing? He thought it was just, gay and straight. That you couldn’t be both. But… at least that was accounted for. Putting his phone away, he moved on to the next part of the puzzle. What was he going to do when night time came? He couldn’t straight up tell Franklin. That would ruin everything. But how would he explain that he didn’t fuck his Aunt? He had to have a reason to back it up. Either way, he was screwed.

Night came too quick. Lamar kept pacing his room, not taking his eyes off his phone that rested on his bed. Any minute Frank would call him. Any fucking minute now. He still didn’t have a plan. What was he going to do? The phone lit up, buzzing loudly. Oh no. He practically dove to answer it, feigning a nonchalant tone. It wasn’t very impressive.

“Heyyy Frank. I was waiting for word from you.”

“Hey. I’m on my way, be ready.”

He swallowed the lump in his throat.

“See you in 5 L.”

Even after Frank hung up, he didn’t lower the phone from his ear. Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, ohshit. He was panicking now, phone dropping to the floor. Not noticing how long he was standing there, he heard a car pull up, then honk. Oh, shit. He raced out the door clumsily, trying to shove his phone in his pocket. Opening the car door, he was hit with the now overwhelming scent of Franklin. Something along the lines of weed and the same cologne he’d be buying for years. He remembered how Tanisha had gotten it for him back when they first started dating as a gift. The detail only made him more nauseous.

“Hey LD.”

“Hey.”

“Get in homie, I got a good spot for us, real sick view n shit.”

“Ah.. aight.”

The car ride wasn’t entirely awful for Lamar, listening to Collard Greens play loudly through the speakers. Franklin had taken them to some secluded spot near Vespucci beach, where no one would bother them. As they got out of the car, Lamar got a clear view of the sunset. It was even better than a sunrise. They found a bench to sit on, and Lamar felt like there wasn’t enough space between them. Did it magically fucking shrink as soon as they sat down? Shit. He cleared his throat, trying to seem neutral and not like he was internally freaking the fuck out.

“So uh… what’d you need to talk to me about?”

Franklin sighed, and Lamar’s stomach was in knots.

“It’s.. just somethin’ I been thinkin’ about for a while. I really jus’ didn’t know how to bring it up or whatever. But let’s jus’ enjoy the sunset right now.”

In contrast to how every sunrise went, the sunset contained shades of pinks and purples. There were also mixed shades of green, from the combination of yellow and blue clashing together. It was a miraculous sight. Frank was right, why didn’t they see sunsets more often? He watched the light sink down past the water, replaced by moonlight not much later. The two sat in silence, as stars filled the sky. The view had grown darker, but he could see the moonbeam reflect in the calm waves. He turned to Franklin, who had a serene expression on his face. He was blue in the moonlight, and it made Lamar feel all kinds of things he never felt for anyone before. Franklin side-eyed him, sitting upright. Here goes nothing.

“Lamar… I just. I gotta ask. I uh.. heard from someone,” Fucking psychic lady.

“That you uh.. and my.. Denise. My Aunt. Were uh.. you were at my house or something with her?”

Lamar eyes were wide. Franklin looked anywhere but him, clearly uncomfortable bringing the topic up. He kept tripping over his words, not knowing how to ask.

“Are.. and I won’t be mad if you are, but are you… and my Aunt.. Are y’all foolin’ around?” He scrunched his face up getting the words out. He almost looked hurt, like he was betrayed at the thought of it all.

“What?”

“Are you fuckin’ my Auntie or what man?!” He forced out.

“Franklin. What.”

He knew the psychic lady had said he got the wrong idea, but hearing it out loud from him was just mind boggling.

“Jesus Christ Franklin, no. I’m not! Why would you even think that?!”

Now he felt hurt. Did he really think Lamar would do something like that?

“You say shit about her all the fuckin’ time! I don’t even know why, because she’s fuckin’ nuts man! I have heard a million and one remarks about her from yo bitchass self!”

“Yeah but I would never-“

“And in my fuckin’ bed man?! Are you for real?!”

“I’m not fucking her! I never was!”

“That’s not what I fuckin’ heard dog! And don’t think I haven’t noticed how weird you’ve been actin’, all guilty n shit. I knew you were hidin’ shit from me, I jus’ didn’t think it’d be my absolute worst fuckin’ nightmare!”

“Franklin! For fucks sake bro that’s not why I’ve been actin’ so weird!”

“Then tell me, exactly, what the hell your problem is!”

Lamar’s mouth hung open, looking for what the fuck to say.

“Homie. It’s not like that. I’m seriously, seriously not fucking her. I’m… just-”

“What, Lamar?!”

“I think I’m in love.”

Shock covered Franklin’s face. Complete, utter shock. His face then twisted into a furious expression.

“Are you fuckin’ for real right now? You’re not fuckin’ my Aunt, you’re in love with her?! Fuck you man!”

“Wait, no that’s not what was I was implying-“

Franklin shot up from his seat, throwing his hands up.

“You’ve officially lost yo mind dog. You two enjoy each other. I’m fuckin’ out of here bro.”

“Franklin, wait-“

“No, no. I.. I need to go. I need to clear my mind or whatever the fuck, because I am just… unbelievably pissed right now.”

“But I’m not-“

“Save it, LD. I’ll… catch you later. Or something. Bye.”

Franklin walked back to his car, abandoning Lamar. Some how, this was worse than confessing to him. He felt sick to his stomach. How the hell was he gonna fix this mess? He remained seated, watching the water lap at the shore. He needed to fix this. And he knew, although he wish he didn’t have to, that’d he’d have to come clean. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship, and some how still did by just not blurting it out. Soon. Soon, after Franklin was ready to talk to him again. He prayed to a higher being, hoping desperately it’d all work out.

//end of pt 2!!!!! i’m sorry this is kinda angsty or whatever :( but i am gonna write a happy ending for this!! lamar deserves the world i love his character sm *sobs* (also sorry this part’s longer than the last one LMAO)

#grand theft auto 5 #gta v #lamar davis #franklin clinton #franklin/lamar #angst #one sided pining #but don’t worry #it’s gonna work out #bc franklin’s hiding shit himself 👀 #not gonna say anything #framar

[passable-talent]

hey roe! i love ur work! could i request a zuko x reader where the reader and the zuko have history and they meet at the boiling rock because the reader was imprisoned (either during the invasion or at the catacombs or whatever you think works) and there's a lot of angst and it ends with a kiss or something? tysm!!!

tysm!!!! It means a lot

but u gotta think bigger anon,,, boiling rock was full of firebenders... how abt a childhood friend who defected long, long ago, and zuko could’ve never known? hmm....

in watching the boiling rock for this ask I realize that the bois get into guard uniforms and hide their clothes on the beach. so like,,, did these two dumbasses just strip on the beach and b like “hey yeah bro this is cool”. they think nothing through. HOW DID THEY EVEN GET THE GUARD UNIFORMS IN THE FIRST PLACE-

Sitting in a Boiling Rock cell wasn’t exactly one of Zuko’s top ten moments, but it sure wasn’t one of his lowest, either. He’d been tossed into a singular cell that as of yet didn’t even have a bed, the door shut in his face.

There came three quick knocks on the metal wall beside him, and he walked closer to it, curious.

“I heard you got thrown in for impersonating a guard,” came a voice on the other side, and Zuko regarded it with a healthy amount of susipicion.

“Yeah.”

“Nice,” said the voice, a little laugh following their words.

“What did you do?” asked Zuko, surprised that the voice sounded young, almost as young as himself, if he had to guess.

“Oh, I defected a long time ago. They weren’t too happy with my methods.” Zuko didn’t answer for a moment, and the person in the cell beside him took that as an opportunity to continue asking questions. “Seems like the warden wanted to punish you especially, putting you down here with this lot. Any idea why?”

“I dated his niece,” Zuko answered, his tone definitive, almost as though this information was obvious. There came a pause from the voice, and Zuko wondered what about this information was shocking. It wouldn’t be common knowledge who the warden’s niece is, would it? He thought that that would be safe information to reveal, without revealing his identity.

“Hey, how old are you?” The prisoner asked, breaking their silence. Zuko briefly considered, but decided not to lie.

“Uh, sixteen, why?”

“Zuko?” Zuko froze, and fixed his stare to the wall as though he could see through it if he glared hard enough.

“How do you know that?”

“It’s Y/N,” the voice said, and finally Zuko realized why the voice had seemed so young.

Y/N had been his friend, from academy, back before Zuko had turned twelve. Y/N was one year above him, but was a prodigy, studying under High General Bujing as young as ten years old. They were a dedicated student and a master of strategy as early as twelve- but disappeared at thirteen, never to be heard from again.

At least, by the young prince, whose father decided that telling the prince that his closest friend had attempted assassination on one of the high generals would fill the already ‘weak’ prince’s mind with ‘insubordinate ideals’.

And yet here they were.

“Y/N?” Zuko breathed, lifting his hand and pressing it to the metal, astonished. He had assumed that you were dead. “How are you here?”

“How am I here? I’m a criminal and a traitor, that’s obvious, how are you here?”

“Apparently I’m also a criminal and a traitor,” Zuko answered, and you laughed.

The assignment for the day was mopping, down in one of the lower rooms of the prison. You knew where to go, and yet the moment those doors opened you rounded the walls and hugged Zuko tightly.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” you whispered, and when you pulled away you noticed his scar. Gingerly you reached your hand upward, lightly laying your fingers against the skin, then resting the palm of your hand onto his face to fully cup his jaw.

“I knew that you’d been banished, but...” you trailed off, and slipped your hand around to the back of his neck to pull him into a tight hug.

“I wish I could’ve been there to save you,” you whispered, holding onto him. His arms wrapped around you in return, for just a moment, until a few guards shouted at the two of you to move along. Still, he walked beside you.

“What do you mean?” He asked, and you looked sideways at him.

“I knew your father was horrible, I knew the nation was horrible, that’s why I left it. But to do that to you, I...” you trailed off, and shrugged. “I guess I tell myself I should’ve brought you with me when I left.” His response was minimal, but you noticed it, the way he seemed intrigued by the thought, and slightly saddened that it hadn’t happened.

You had known of Suki, but you hadn’t formally met her until now. She was kind, and understood why another teenager was roped into the daring escape.

Sokka, on the other hand, wasn’t so pleased.

“Sokka, come on. Y/N has a better understanding of Fire Nation military strategy than anyone, even me.” Suki raised an eyebrow in your direction, to which you responded with a shrug. “We need them on our team.”

“The more we try to break out, the easier we’ll be caught. We can’t risk it.” You weren’t going to argue in your favor- in fact, the opposite.

“I’ve been in here for four years. I’m used to it, I’ll be fine,” you assured Zuko, but he shook his head. He grabbed Sokka by the shoulder and pulled him away, but underestimated your ability to eavesdrop.

“Look, we didn’t come here planning to break out Suki, but we are. Y/N is the same, for me, as Suki is to you. Okay?” Your eyes widened as you glanced to Suki, but she hadn’t caught it, and didn’t understand your surprise.

“Okay, fine,” Sokka said, breaking from Zuko’s grasp. He took a moment to ensure no one was around to listen. “I think I’ve got an escape plan.”

You’d stuck by Zuko when you were young, and you’d stick by him now, as traitors to your nation. Even if it meant giving up your only escape plan. He was loyal to Sokka, and you would be too, so you stayed behind, and bided your time, waiting for your next opportunity. Even if it meant listening to Mai scold Zuko through the walls. Sokka came to you with a new plan, though you had a sneaking suspicion you were the last of the group that he told, and when it came time to fight Azula on the gondola, you were one of the first to climb to the roof.

“Ah, Y/N, an old familiar face,” the princess said as she landed, taking in the sight of you and Zuko, side by side. “How quaint. An old traitor, and a new traitor. I’m ever so curious, Y/N, how you can claim to have any morality at all, betraying your nation twice now. Wasn’t it your own mentor you tried to kill?” You reacted in rage, and shot the first plume of fire.

The ride to the western air temple was a long one, filled as it was with jubilation, victory, and reunions. Zuko spent much of it trying to decide how to ask you in more detail about your past. You hadn’t said much to him about it, and he’d never been told, but Azula seemed to know well what had happened.

He didn’t want to push, but he wanted to know.

“Your mentor was General Bujing, right?” He asked, sitting beside you in the metal airship.

“Yeah,” you answered, your tone noncommittal.

“He was the general I stood up to. When I got banished.” Your gaze went to the young prince, and you realized just how little you knew about his past, since you left the fire nation. You also realized his tactic- to get you to share, he would share. You decided to cut him a break, and do it yourself.

You started with what he already knew.

“I lost my parents to the war when I was six. So I was sent to the academy, where they recognized my talent and rewarded me with apprenticeships and a home. Still, General Bujing was the closest I had to a parent.” You paused, and looked toward the front of the ship, where you could see clouds.

“But as I got older, and he put more questionable battle strategies on my exams, I began to see him not as a parent but as a person. And what I saw was, I assume, what you saw. Someone ruthless and angry, who didn’t believe in human life, or didn’t value it.” Zuko didn’t stop you, or interrupt. He merely listened.

“I was scared. And so I did reading, on what the Fire Nation was before Sozin, and what I saw was so much better than what I was raised in. I knew i couldn’t change much, but what I could do was get rid of an old General who would do the worst sort of things.” You looked down at your hands.

“It didn’t work. I was thirteen, of course it didn’t. But instead of killing me, he...” you trailed off, and turned your gaze away from Zuko.

“I was going to kill him, because I thought there wasn’t any good in him. And then he let me go. He spared me.” Zuko’s eyes widened, as what he knew of General Bujing, the man who would sacrifice a brigade of soldiers, did not seem to line up with what you were describing.

“I was arrested anyway, of course, but I thought for sure he’d kill me. He didn’t even challenge me to an Agni Kai. I still don’t...” you trailed off, and let your head thump back against the metal wall. “I still don’t understand.”

“People are complicated,” Zuko struggled out, seemingly trying to conjure some good-ol’-uncle-Iroh advice.

“Yeah,” you said with a breathless chuckle, and scooted a bit closer to him. “It’s good to see you again,” you said, leaning your shoulder against his. It was an odd situation to be in, because you’d last seen him when you were thirteen, and he twelve. But you knew, from what you overheard, that he felt something more for you. Something akin to Sokka and Suki, who you had noticed were clearly an explicitly romantic couple. Because of it you felt it appropriate to notice how much he’d... grown. He was older, now, and his hair was nice, and his cheekbones high, his jawline defined, not to mention an obviously master firebender. You envied that talent, as the only bending you had was leftover from your training, that ended at thirteen.

“It’s good to see you too,” he said, which you barely heard over your thoughts. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, as obviously Mai was a very fresh wound, but you knew his feelings were there, and wanted in subtle ways to make him realize that his choices were accepted, welcomed, to you.

You wondered if he was having similar thoughts, noticing how you’d changed since he last saw you.

The moon was high by the time the airship docked at the western air temple. You’d fallen asleep on the metal floor (you’ve slept in worse places), and Zuko decided to wake you up so that you could move to one of the bedrooms up high in the temple.

He crouched beside you, and nudged your shoulder. When that didn’t rouse you, he sat down, deciding to take a moment to study your sleeping face. He brushed back some of your hair from your face, silent in his appreciation.

He’d wake you up. In a minute.

For now, he wanted to lean down, and kiss your forehead.

When he pulled away, he noticed your eyes were open. A smile spread to your lips, and you pushed back your tiredness to respond to the moment in front of you.

“Want to try again, now that I’m awake?”

-🦌 Roe

#imagines #reader insert #angst #atla imagine #atla fluff #atla gaang #atla zuko #atla #avatar x reader #avatar reader insert #avatar imagine #avatar imagines #avatar: the last airbender #avatar #prince zuko imagines #zuko x reader #zuko fluff #zuko imagines #zuko angst #zuko imagine #fire lord zuko #prince zuko #zuko #suki #atla suki #atla sokka

[floorune]

1 2 6 8 11 for the FMA ask!!

HOLDS UR FACE HI HOON I LOVE U

this got kinda long since i talk a lot! so i’m gonna put the rest under the cut 😅

2. All time favorite character? Why?

GREED MY LITTLE MEOW MEOW MY SILLY RABBIT THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE. he is very fun and sexy what can i say!! :) specifically Greed in his original form – Greedling is fine too and very fun and important for their character growth, but OG Greed...he is just Built Different. catch a glimpse of those deltoids and i start acting unwise 😔 🤙

(my other two faves are Alphonse and Mei Chang ❤️️💕 and honorary mention to Scar!)

1. Original or Brotherhood

I think by original they mean the 2003 anime right? I like both 03 and BH for different reasons but if I gotta pick I'd have to go with Brotherhood. Mei and the rest of the Xing crew are some of my favourite characters so I like that they actually y'know, exist in BH 😂 unfortunately 03 also doesn't have Olivier, Miles, and the Briggs soldiers :(

Scar is ok in 03 but his parental/found family relationship with Mei in BH is so important to me and one of my favourite dynamics!!! 03 Greed is also less interesting to me and I find 03 Bradley family very boring..

again there's a lot of stuff I do like about 03 but ultimately many of my fave characters either just Don't Exist there or are written in a way that's no longer interesting to me V__V so Brotherhood it is!

6. Favorite homunculus? Why?

ok i guess this got eclipsed by Question #2 because clearly..Greed... though as far as BH goes, I also like Wrath and Pride, then followed by Lust and Envy (damn bro i'm practically just naming all of them here). but in 03 i like Lust the best bc she got all the development and character writing plus she is sexy :]

8. Favorite all time villain? Why?

not me struggling to remember any villains other than the homunculi lmao 😩 i also haven't revisited CoS, the OVAs, or any of the video games recently so i can't include those. i think i'll go with BH Wrath and Pride in that case! i love it when villains are a lil bit emo, the complicated flavour is good. also they're scawy :) every time Wrath shows up on screen me and my friends are like:

(except for my ossan-loving friends.. they start making eyes at the screen....😭)

11. Favorite member of Team Mustang?

RIZA MY BELOVED!!!! also Black Hayate MVP <3

#needed that Greed answer FRONT AND CENTER so the people know what i am ABOUT #my tastes also changed over the years i used to like BH Sloth a lot more the first time around #because he was so funny and hashtag relatable #rewatching it this year he's still funny but not as interesting as other characters i guess!! #ANYWAY I GOTTA RUN I WILL ANSWER OTHER STUFF WHEN I GET BACK #asks #noodledragon #💖

[albatris]

ok ok alriiiight ok so the plot of ATDAO

this post is not, like........... well, it’s not gonna be a blurb or a summary or a nice neat synopsis, this is not Professional Writeblr Business, this is, this is, uhhhh

this is like drunk house party logan rambles

works best if you imagine ur just like “hey man how’s it going” super casual and I grasp you firmly by the shoulders and look you dead in the eye and just ramble all of this without taking a single breath

could I have explained in a nice neat concise "elevator pitch" sort of way? probably. mind ur business. that’s not how we do things here at albatris.org

anyway the purpose of this post is “hey people seem to know a lot about the characters and the worldbuilding and the premise but have no clue what happens in the actual story” so I’m not going to be talking about said characters and worldbuilding and premise in depth

in terms of rambles, that stuff’s been covered! this post assumes you know what Ports are, n what the nature of the ATDAO apocalypse is, vaguely what the MCs are like as people......... though I can fetch this info for you if you like

but yeah if you are coming into this post with zero prior ATDAO knowledge........... deeply deeply from the bottom of my heart: sorry

also if this is your first time experiencing One Of These Rambles

also @safe-in-the-steep-cliffs​ and @siarven​ I am tagging you because you said you would like to be tagged and also hi and also I hope y’all knew what you were in for

anyway without further ado

(visual representation of my approach to this rant, not of how complicated my plot actually is)

(my plot is not that complicated)

ALRIGHT

there are two viewpoint characters! and two plotlines which converge near the end of the story, but honestly there’s a very real possibility I will decide these are two separate books meant as companion stories to each other because I love making things difficult for myself yeehaw

ATDAO’s co-protags are Tris and Noa, best buds four years and counting. their friendship is one of the single most important aspects of the story, n the ongoing love and trust they have for each other despite the way unfolding events force their relationship to change is integral to the themes and making the heart of the story what it is. I will now proceed to not mention this friendship for the entire remainder of this post. they’re bros. that’s all u need to know. listen. listen. I have a lot to cover

so yeah, ur first key player is Tris Greer, whose parents are dicks but whose siblings are chill. most notably of said siblings there is Jacob, older brother by thirteen years, whom Tris believes is just about the coolest person on the entire planet. this plotline kicks off when Jacob gets caught in the midst of a freak car accident that kills a dude and wrecks a street corner and also somehow causes Jacob to just kind of................. blip out of existence entirely and without a trace?

n Tris is understandably horrified and distressed by Very Much All Of This, but hey, at least there are responsible adults who can look into this obviously Port-related weird disappearance and figure this mess out, right?

INCORRECT

the relevant interdimensional authorities are brought in to suss out the situation and these authorities are kind of like “hmmmm idk about this” but are all set to take Tris at least somewhat seriously until they learn the following:

that Jacob had already been reported missing to police in his home state three days earlier

that Jacob was in the midst of several ongoing personal crises and at least one nervous breakdown

that Jacob was allegedly tangled up in some real weird shit that would more than account for a disappearance under suspicious circumstances

that Tris is schizophrenic, prone to hallucinations, confusion, memory issues and quote unquote “letting his imagination and anxiety get the better of him”, and precisely zero people can actually corroborate his story that Jacob was even there are the time of the accident to begin with

and after some back-and-forth and Looking Into The Evidence pretty much everyone in any position of authority comes to the conclusion that this is just Ordinary Regular People Crimes and whatever happened to Jacob had nothing to do with weird apocalyptic energies, and that Tris is (at best) stressed out and delusional or (at worst) lying through his teeth because he knows more than he’s letting on

so Tris is forced to hop pretty quick from “I’m sure someone will handle this” to “no one believes me but I’m sure if I can find some concrete proof they’ll listen and someone will handle it” to Well Fuck I Guess That Someone Is Me

cue bizarre reality-hopping fantasy quest, which is ten times easier said than done when most of the time Tris is terrified enough just, like, going to the supermarket

he enlists the help of his new classmate Shara, amateur paranormal investigator and professional weird-bullshit enthusiast, who agrees to help him puzzle out what the fuck happened to Jacob in exchange for his assistance in mapping out Adelaide’s interdimensional “fault lines” as part of her ongoing quest to track down the source of the apocalypse

she’s got big fuckin dreams, ok, go hard or go home

slso worth noting at this point that there HAS been an uptick in Ports and their related reality-bending strangeness in Adelaide recently which is why this is of particular interest to her currently. gotta find out What Makes The Weirdness Tick, gotta find out Why The Sudden Extra Weirdness

..........and also Kai is there

Kai has no nice neat reason to get involved with the plot, Kai just likes drama and being all up in people’s personal business. Tris brings them on board for one single afternoon like “hey I will pay you some money to come to my house and fix my fucked up phone so I can listen to an interdimensional voicemail” but forgot the apparently key addendum “and then leave”

their first three chapters of knowing each other is basically Tris being like “stop inviting yourself into my house we are not friends” and Kai being like “that’s a rude thing to say to your friend. also your sister gave me the netflix password and I used your kitchen to bake pastries feel free to help yourself”

but yeah so Tris’s story mostly focuses on his quest to figure out where Jacob got yeeted to and how to get him safely home (y’all probably know a bit about The Unreality already maybe?), whilst also dealing with rising family tensions, whatever shifty stuff Jacob was involved with prior to his disappearance, and his own creeping doubts about his perceptions of reality

n I’m also saying flat out it’s not a plot that’s going the “oh the whole thing was just a delusion all along” route because ew

his psychosis is a fairly involved part of his character but the explorations around it are more to do with, like......... the difficulties he has in trusting himself and whether he has the luxury of letting himself get swept into some Big Weird Implausible Adventure when this has extremely different implications for him than it would someone else. n eventually to how his success and survival is not ~in spite of~ but specifically because of the different way he understands and interprets the world and the skills he’s developed

THAT TANGENT WAS A PERSONAL RANT IT WAS NOT RELEVANT I just have words to say on the subject of how psychosis is treated in fiction and didn’t want people jumping to the “none of it is real” conclusion anyway ok moving on

ur SECOND key player is Noa Yun, who has rather a lot on her plate right now. she’s broke as fuck and her mum is sick and her car is making Noises and she’s not getting enough hours at her job at Not-IKEA and everyone is on her back about her failing studies as if that’s a thing she has the energy to care about. feeling rather backed into a corner by life’s bullshit and her financial situation, she blatantly lies her way into a field job at the Department of Interdimensional Instabilities, because A) surely it can’t be THAT bad, and B) what does she have to lose?

so more or less what she’s doing is the equivalent of emergency services for Port-related weirdness, it’s going out and dealing with highly unstable otherworldly energies head on, navigating Weird Phenomena and bendy patches in reality......... it is, among other things, a job that’s relatively easy to get into because no one wants to touch it with a ten foot pole unless they absolutely have to

n the DII is a whole other post, this shit has lots of different functions and levels and branches and corruption and secrets and a tendency to view workers who have to go out and deal with the brunt of the apocalypse head-on as vaguely expendable and I’ve talked about it a bit before and in more Serious Words

things kinda kick off for her when in true Noa fashion she hurls herself into a dangerous situation to help out a coworker, n enters a pretty standard issue “overlap” where the barriers between universes are a little fucky, but hey, she seems to come out of it with nary a scratch, so it’s reasonable to assume everything is fine, right?

INCORRECT AGAIN

she basically gets some whacked-out otherworldly energies latched onto her that are now following her through her everyday life, and it turns out she’s starting to bend the reality around her the way certain types of Ports do, which is! obviously not ideal! she’s not exactly a Port herself, because she’s pretty sure that’s impossible, but it’s clear capital s Something happened to her in that overlap, and she doubts it’s good news. and to make matters even more disconcerting, she’s now being dogged at every step by strange visions of a child who speaks in an unfamiliar language and who seems Real Fuckin Pissed at her

so her thing is basically “I acquired fucked up reality-bending powers against my will and they might be lowkey killing me ‘cause Ports are notoriously unstable like that and also I’m haunted for some godforsaken reason” which all somehow ended up being, like, the least interesting part of her plotline for me lmao

oh and Noa also enlists the help of Shara, Because Ghosts

anyway yeah so her search to find out what’s happening to her re: Weird Children, being a Port-adjacent something-or-other, and whether there’s a way to stop her own unravelling leads her to (rogue computer programmer? mad scientist? general shifty bastard?) Laurence Marrick Thiele, who claims to have suffered a similar affliction in the past and now does some real interesting research on the subject. n this guy. well. he’s got some fuckin stuff going on

he definitely knows more about the nature of Ports than he should. also is he actually researching what he says he’s researching? also what’s with all the weird tech? also did he just straight up murder that guy Avery? all will be revealed later, maybe, if I feel like it

but yeah at about the same time as Noa goes “actually fuck this you’re shady as hell I’m out” she stumbles into, like, The Actual Reality of what Marrick is up to re: manipulating Ports and interdimensional doorways for his own gain, and the various ways this spells bad news not only for her but potentially for the entire city and anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in the crossfire, and she shifts gear to “actually you know what I’m gonna kick your ass”

there are various reasons for this, but first and foremosterly you have to understand that Noa’s got a fuckload of pent-up rage and she will bring it in full force the moment you say some stupid shit like “some people are expendable” or “it’s inevitable for the greater good”

(there’s also a fun ongoing subplot with her work at the DII where she and her team are investigating a string of strange illnesses with bizarre symptoms that appear to be spreading via obscure radio stations so that’s. happening. I guess?)

but yeah the main story here mostly follows Noa’s attempts to undermine Marrick, bastard supreme, and find a way to fuck him up before he goes, like, Full Cartoon Supervillain, n also like........... her attempts to keep up her work at the DII despite her rising paranoia that the teammates she’s growing to care about will notice her increasingly unstable state and the fact that she’s all tangled up with the very forces they’re meant to be thwarting. n along the way discovering the reality of what happened to her in The Aforementioned Overlap Incident and about her visions and such

so that’s all that. did that make sense

n she’s got a whole arc going on about trust and learning to lean on others, like, she comes into this story as a very standoffish person with lots of paranoia, she’s spent much of her life feeling like she can only rely on herself, n she’s. well. yeah, like I said, she’s got a lot of anger at the world and at the various systems that have failed her and her loved ones, n the story puts her in a position to become even more isolated

and her plotline isn’t so much “you have no reason to be angry or afraid” or her learning to Not Be, It’s more, like........... yeah you have every fucking right to be furious and of course you’re afraid! but there are people around you who love you and who will jump at the chance to defend you and who will help you carry the weight of your anger and grief and none of this needs to be yours to bear alone which is extremely cheesy

which applies to both her Weird Supernatural Goings-On as well as her regular ordinary life goings-on

I feel like Alice and Jet deserve a mention for Noa’s plotline but also this went on and on too long already so. well. Alice and Jet exist! yep. they work with Noa at the DII. I have things to say about them. I will not be saying them today

and uhhhhhh

in general, for Tris, his plotline, you wanna think, like, fantasy/adventure vibes which veer pretty sharply into horror, and for Noa you wanna think...... kinda, sci-fi mystery conspiracy vibes with a dash of some superhero bullshit maybe except not really

and that

pretty much is it I think

also the fact that Kai just invites themself into the plot for funsies and then is dragged kicking and screaming into caring about themself and making positive changes in their life means there was no convenient place in this post to be like

"oh there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop"

but there's also a whole major subplot about a time loop

goodnight! thanks for coming to....................... whatever this was! have a nice saturday everyone

#alcohol mention #just in the first little intro bit #being concise is not my strong suit! this should be apparent perhaps #tl;dr #tris's brother jacob gets lost down the back of an interdimensional sofa and tris has gotta go get him back even though #he's terrified enough just leaving the house let alone leaving this entire reality on a stupid convoluted mystery quest #and noa has a run in with some interdimensional bullshit and acquires Powers and A Ghost neither of which she wants #and then accidentally uncovers the schemes of literal cartoon supervillain marrick and is like #''oh sick i was looking for a reason to go absolutely fuckin ballistic and fuck someone's shit up'' #And Both Of Them Make Nice Friends And Learn To Love Themselves :) #atdao #i constantly walk the very fine line between not wanting to be Too Vague about noa's plotline vs not wanting to be Too Spoilery about it #like............... the stuff about the kid and about marrick's endgame i'm never quite sure how much to delve into hahahaha #but yeah anyway #imo i only went on ONE mildly unrelated tangent which should have been cut but i decided to indulge it instead #which is the couple paragraphs about noa's character arc #character arcs not important for this post!!!!!! but also. dfkhgkdfjshg. try and stop me #(i mean i did pretty ok staying on track for the most part i think) #(still a rambly post though)

[violentviolette]

1,4,7,15,19

its from the ask game that you reblogged, about the uncomfortable shit

1. what’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

u gotta get out of ur own head. I'm an over thinker by nature and delusional with a tenuous grip on reality at the best of times, and I easily get swallowed up in an echo chamber of my own thoughts and make problems bigger and more complicated then they need to be. sometimes the best solution really is to touch grass lmfaooo

also that I have all the control and power over myself. I decide who I am and how I act and what I chose to believe. nothing happens unless I do it myself. constructing a purposeful sense of self like that was really helpful to me in getting more control over myself and my life

4. tell me about your most vivid memory, good or bad.

u ask for a memory and suddenly I have none. I have zero object or emotional permanance so rn my most vivid memory is from last week lmfaooo

ryo and I were watching youtube vids about random ass shit at like 2am and somehow we got on the subject of how smart certain animals and specifically certain dinosaurs were and he went on a little info dump rant and told me that a trex was as smart as a fucking chimpanzee and this knowledge both amazed and terrified me and I am now forever changed

7. tell me something you don’t like telling the people you are close to.

I dont like saying anything especially about myself and my feelings ironically enough and so genuinely the ppl who are close to me are the ones who are observant and understanding enough to either work it out themselves or flat out ask lmfaooo because I do very much hold to the rule that I will answer direct questions as honestly as I can when it comes to my interpersonal relationships, but volunteering any info is still Rough lmfaoo

15. do you prefer to be numb or overly emotional? why?

its always a grass is greener thing for me. when I'm numb I'd rather be manic and when I'm manic I just wanna turn off. really what I'd like to be is emotionally stable but here we are lmfaoooo a boy can dream

19. what is your fatal flaw?

u mean I gotta pick just one? lmfaoo but probably my defensiveness and how reactionary I am. I work on it a lot but its probably still the thing I do most often, its just hard not to constantly be on edge but ive gotten really good at being able to walk it back and come at something the right way after a second at least

#jack.speaks #anon #thank u friend pls accept all the affection u are so good #deaddove

[99yikes]

hello!! i’ve always been a traditional artist, but i just recently got my first tablet for drawing and i’m really excited to try my hand at digital art!! i was wondering what art program you use and if you had any tips for someone just starting out with digital art? feel free to ignore if you don’t, i’m just a big fan of your art and i LOVE your little kiri doodles they really give me life <3

oh shit!!! first of all, thank u so so much!!!!! i'm pretty new at all this too, so i'm still kinda learning the ropes myself dkdjdkf digital art is a beast compared to traditional, but it's a lot of fun ;v;

second of all: i use procreate! i've heard lots of good things about clip studio paint tho--they have like 3D models which is sexy bc proportions, yknow? but i'm good with just procreate for now, it's less overwhelming than CSP looks (imo at least)!

AS FOR TIPS!! let's seeeee 🤔🤔

1. try all the brushes and mess with all the brush settings!!! u can reset and duplicate them all u want, u can also download new ones allegedly (idk i never tried KDJDJDJDJ), but definitely test them and find one that works for you! get the right flow & pressure that makes YOU feel in control of the brush. put that brush in its place. make that brush your bi-

2. use references! u probably already know this from traditional art, BUT MAN!!! i'm always looking stuff up on my phone so i can stare at a thing while i draw it. the number one take away is to get the shape of the thing you're trying to draw so that, one day, you won't need a ref anymore. ur third eye will open. u will know that a cat is just a couple of circles and some triangles 👁️👄👁️

3. COLOR PALLETTES!!! procreate is cool bc if i find a pretty picture with a dope color scheme i can turn it into a pallette. i am not good at color theory or whatev--especially with digital art--so it's easier for me to just use a pallette. it gives me colors i kNOW look snazzy together and i won't have to sit and question my life choices when i look back at a fully painted piece in a different light.

4. unfortunately, digital art will make u feel like you're relearning how to draw all over again, so really...it just takes time and practice! at first i took a lot of requests and that helped me SO MUCH. i also really like to find those expression memes and just practice with those on my own time? that helps too. draw as much as possible and don't put a lot of pressure on yourself. if a thing is too complicated, simplify it! thats why i do a lot of simple chibi-like drawings. gotta build up to the hard stuff 😤

anyways skdkdkdjf sorry for the basic advice, but i hope it helps a little!! good luck on your digital art journey, i'm rooting for u!!!

#asks #long post #i'm on mobile otherwise i'd slap a read more on this ;v; #but man i am but a worm #very humbled by the fact that u would ask me for advice #highkey made my week #thank you so much 💖💗💖💗💖 #if u see a typo no u dont #its past my bedtime

[fencesandfrogs]

a follow up from this post where i talk about math and me as a kid.

Wait you have dyscalculia but are a math major? Wow I have dyscalculia but I like the philosophy of math I guess like I sorta forced myself to get into it to learn, I feel I can do basic so for me it's mainly the math anxiety

@totallysweetheart​

tl/dr: the part of my brain that deals with abstract/tangible is, i think, broken, because i can’t deal with numbers as real things, but i can do that with polynomials or w/e.

so to summarize, based on wikipedia’s list of dyscalculia symptoms, here is me:

analog clocks: i’m fine to 15min in real life where i know the time of day, but in a vacuum, most real clocks r tricky. doesn’t come up. the teaching clocks i’m usually fine with because the minute hour hands are really distinct.

larger numbers: depends on presentation. purely verbally? no. visually? depends. if they both start with the same number it’s harder.

sequencing issues: not really.

financial planning: bank accounts are black magic and my mom still manages mine. i err on the side of frugal, which lead me with like 50% of my college meal plan unspent last semester.

visualizing numbers: no. nope. can’t do. not at all. numbers r fake. 

arithmetic: it sucks, a lot. i’m better at multiplying and adding, and it’s gotten better because i did a lot of practice a few years ago, but i still prefer calculators. 

number writing difficulties: yeah? hard to say i’ve been doing algebraic stuff for a long time and that really cuts down on the number of places to make those kinds of mistakes.

concepts and practice: this is where i’m strongest. my math conceptual game is strong as hell, and i don’t usually struggle with putting it into practice. even word problems i’m pretty strong at because like. it’s just math.

names of numbers: not really an issue.

left/right: also not really an issue. although it takes me a second.

spatial awareness: doesn’t exist. just. doesn’t. people don’t believe me then they ask me how long something is and i say like three feet and they’re like “it’s taller than you” and i’m like “oh really? huh the more you know”

time: im timeblind af. also adhd tho so that doesn’t help.

maps: ehhhhh. hard to say. I’m okay with some parts of maps but not others. this has definitely improved since school.

working backwards in time: i have an app for that its beautiful and i love it

music: i am good at music notation. not great at rhythm but i’m good at music in general.

dance: i did 12 years of dance. i’m not amazing, but it was a nonissue.

estimation: see: time, spatial awareness (the answer is i cannot)

remembering formulas, etc: i’m usually good at remembering this stuff.

concentration: adhd already so? maybe?

faces, names: i do not do very well here.

so like. i basically have the best possible set of symptoms to become a math major. i kind of skirted attention as a kid because i could get around a lot of my difficulties and didn’t really have anything to do but use brute force to cram multiplication facts into my head.

and because i had this really strong conceptual understanding, i just sort of survived until algebra. at which point i was very happy.

because basically most of my dyscalculia issues revolve around numbers and the real world. i can’t do time, i can’t estimate, i can’t really work with numbers. but i can work with algebra because the concepts were fine. there was just a road block.

for me, it’s kind of like having a major speech disorder in your native language. speech in the your mouth doesn’t work, not the language issues. as a kid i loved writing because the words came out the way they were in my head. they didn’t get shuffled and mangled. and that’s also how i felt about algebra. like, look! you don’t have to worry about getting the numbers right if you can move the variables around,

and obviously it’s not that complicated because i’m skipping basically from fifth grade to my junior year of high school, but even though it was a constant friction between me and everyone about why i kept making careless mistakes, even after other adhd stuff got treatment, it was generally acknowledged that i knew what i was doing, so i never really developed math anxiety. 

and as a math major, like, numbers are not a very large part of what you do. i use wolfram alpha a lot for solving that sort of thing. i do stuff that’s more about the logic parts of math. lil puzzles waiting to be solved.

it really does feel kind of like the abstract and tangible parts of my brain were swapped. because numbers really do feel abstract, but figuring out the equations of a graph is a fun game to play with friends. i usually get the constants wrong, but that’s besides the point.

i’m not entirely sure if this was helpful and/or clarifying in any way. if asked, i will usually not mention dyscalculia because? it just doesn’t feel very relevant/serious. because my management strategy is: don’t do anything with numbers and estimation ever. and then that works, because i don’t have to. it’s only really relevant in the context of me, a child, very confused about why those centimeter cubes exist, etc. 

and also, as i got older, i dug more and more into theory and proofs. learning about numbers as entities that follow rules was a really useful thing for me. learning about negative numbers made subtraction easier for me because it wasn’t addition in reverse, it was addition of a negative number. which made more sense to me.

i struggled in high school geometry because of all of the numbers and angles (i have a shirt somewhere that says “all i learned in geometry is that you can’t measure shapes”) and every time someone pointed out applications to me i kind of just went “okay but there are rulers for that”

and i do like geometry! i like how we can build properties out of simple rules and how shapes behave and its really cool you only need like 5 postulates to build a lot of geometry but if you make me deal with too many angles and i want to cry

so yeah. uh. i’m a math major & it works because when we deal with numbers, they’re almost variables in themselves? like okay we’re going to use 0 and 1 here to apply this theorem but the numbers themselves aren’t relevant.

here is a screenshot from my calc textbook, if this helps make my point. most of these concepts are things i can just. put in my head and hold the way people who can think about numbers describe numbers to me. 

i have no idea where u are in ur life but if u like math from the logic side, then pure math exists and its p cool. usually you gotta get thru calculus, and then take a course in proof writing (at my uni it’s called “transition to advanced math”) at which point everything turns into theorems and proofs and the most number intensive course is probability. i don’t even need statistics credits to graduate.

this was a lot and i tried to wrap it up like 3 times and then i had more to say because i think a lot abt math and the fact that i was lucky to have the right opportunities to not entirely chase myself away from the field (which is a lot more words and i should probably work on my hw) but if u have more questions lemme know bc! i am very dedicated to exposing people to math and why i love it.

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