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#Which tbf is important in my line of work
bonefall · 7 months
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where’s that little horror piece about kits never growing up in Starclan? because I remember it so vividly but I can’t find it.
The one about Bright Stream?
Weird that it's so hard to find! It's probably because it's got such heavy tags lmao.
I really mean it though like, canon's permakitten system and the idea that Bright Stream is up there, forever taking care of fetus children who were filled by sudden knowledge and yet never grow past that point absolutely horrifies me. Jesus Christ. I don't know how anyone reads that final scene in Path of Stars and isn't filled with itching, white-hot existential dread, man.
Sometimes you just gotta write horror about it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#partner and i were joking the other day about how like#they are the one known as The Horror Blogger and im the funny cat guy#because it's literally the opposite irl. you have NO idea#They are the one who is squeamish and I am the one that is like#only scared if there's 17 different kinds of existential horror#Which tbf is important in my line of work#But let me tell YOU. One thing that gets me every time? Fucked up afterlives#Probably from all the religious trauma but. Still.#''turns out your whole life is actually teetering on the precipice of a steep drop into the jaws of unknowable gods--#and their concept of omnibenevolent and omnimalevolent are self-defined''#''in death your life only has meaning to those still living and yet you're conscious to experience it''#''you will helplessly watch people you thought loved YOU reduce your memory into how you SERVED them''#''Powerless to stop it you will find that you were only valued as a tool in someone else's life''#''There is no peace in death just being tired and uncomfortable forever''#EURGH#It's why my most feared monsters are actually ghosts and vampires and certain zombies#Because it's not really about the monster it's more about what that monster implies for the afterlife#Certain zombies especially. ngl. Night of the livin dead 2 has the scariest ones ever#Intelligent. Violent. Able to FEEL themselves rotting and the only relief is to consume everything you ever loved#BRR#they did eat a bunch of cops tho so... at least they have that going for them#BONES MCRAMBLES IN THE TAGS#bone babble
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sysig · 1 year
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Editing in Windows Movie Maker: I know you’re trying your best, but you keep moving my captions and I want you to stop
Editing in Lightworks:
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gender-euphowrya · 2 months
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the way i'm finding so many areas and quests that i completely missed on my first playthrough has me wondering if i even had my eyes fucking opened
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my favorite headcanon to ponder is that as soon as they enter the Champions League - and it becomes official that this level of cardiovascular training is going to become Jamie's new longterm normal - Roy immediately bans him from running on pavement (so that he'll still have cartilage in his knees by age 60, and because no trainer ever cared enough to do that for Roy and he's gonna do better by Jamie if it kills him).
However...
--they can't limit all his running to a treadmill or track either, because that's a GREAT way to get hurt when he's on the pitch. 
Cue a hilarious montage of Jamie biking to some park, folding the bike to carry over a shoulder while running through said park, hopping back on the bike once he reaches the road, biking until he reaches a grass/dirt track along the river, running until the dirt track runs out, biking again, etc.
Cut to a shot of Roy frowning studiously because This Isn't Working Out, before he turns to Jamie and dead-serious, he asks, "Can you run the pavement on your hands?"
And Jamie is 😭😭😭 on the inside but verbally he's just "uh....yeah! Yeah sure I mean yeah no don't think so but yeah sure yeah why not I'll give it a go?"
Cut to Jamie managing seven whole haphazard steps in a handstand before, "aiyeeee..." and a close-up of Roy cringing with his fists over his mouth. 
Cut to Roy frowning studiously again. This time Jamie's got a big abrasion on his cheek. Again, deadly serious-
"Could you cartwheel the asphalt bits?"
Cut to Jamie cartwheeling over and over and over like. well, like a wheel, making good speed...
in a very much NOT straight line, until he cartwheels right into a bush.
"Well." Roy's got his studious frown, Jamie's got his scraped cheek and leaves in his hair. "I think we're out of options."
And Jamie's face falls. "Coach no. Please I can figure it out. Just need to keep trying things don't I?"
But Roy's shaking his head. 
And Jamie just looks sadder and sadder, and he starts to look a little scared. "Coach really I can just run the pavement like I used to it's f-"
"Nope. I'm calling it."
We linger on Jamie's devastated face. 
Quick cut to Jamie's torso. He's running on the road. He reaches the park. He runs through the park and reaches pavement again. He runs the pavement until he reaches the dirt track by the river. He runs the dirt track until it ends, transitioning straight onto the road once again. Scene cuts to him panting at Richmond Green once he's all done. He slowly straightens up, turning to Roy (who it's revealed bicycled the whole way with him) with the angriest, most murderous glare we've ever seen cross Jamie's face.
Roy breaks into his first grin of the entire montage. 
We finally pan down to Jamie's feet
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--clad in every runner's favorite pseudo-orthopedic clown shoes. They let you run on a beautiful, cartilage-preserving cloud (edit: ASSUMING you don't immediately let your stride get sloppy, which people often do! that's important, can't believe i didn't say it initially!) and not even Jamie can make them look slick. 
*This post dedicated to my own hoka-related humiliations. They're lovely at what they're designed for but oyyyye. tbf hoka does make slightly less gigantic, less hideous models (ones that visually limit themselves to the type of loud garishness that Jamie would actually probably adore). But also tbf, you KNOW Roy would insist on Jamie cycling through the dumbest, ugliest, most embarrassing, "it's yer fuckin knees, Tartt come on!" models he could find. 
(Bonus: Practically overnight, Jamie suddenly becomes an expert in every dirt, grass, and otherwise natural running trail in all of London because as long as there's no concrete or asphalt anywhere on his run, he can go back to his normal low drop shoes.) (Edit: which, to reiterate, is a much better choice for both your joints and feet, than running pavement in hokas!)
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hello-is-anyone-there · 9 months
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Vague Guide to Gothic Academia
Lebanon Hanover (totally not because they're my favorite to write to nooo)
Franz Gordon has some really beautiful piano pieces I highly recommend if you want more classical goth music
Danse Macabre
Hannibal Lector (NBC included)
Criminology
Law in general actually
Religious studies
Come on guys the catholic aesthetics are pulling through here
Victorian collars
Leather gloves
Menthols (this one is just a personal preference, don't smoke)
As much as I hate to say it, Schopenhauer and Roubiczek
I really dislike dark philosophy but it just lines up so well >:[
Moving on to something I like far more: Taxidermy
I'm thinking mostly bones or wet specimens
Normal taxidermy works too but I think it'd clash with dorm space
Leather, silk, and velvet are good staple textures in my opinion
Which does make this harder to style in the summer but tbf dark linens have such a nice flow
The moon, obviously
Astrophysics in general. The stars and the vast existentialism of space are such a good niche. Also I don't see as much STEM majors in these things as I'd like
I'm an arts man for sure, fucked up over literature and philosophy sure, but SCIENCE BRO
That shit is so dark especially going into death studies or psychology
Honestly being a doctor in general can fuck you up
Always smelling like a cadaver (perfume or otherwise...)
Long coats, heavy boots, ties, chains, trad and victorian goth gear both work here
I do like to lean more into dark academia visually with gothic academia, just because my wardrobe would have too much of the same shit going on
Dark sweaters, waist coats and corsets, well fitting suit pants, a well structured light colored blouse usually help balance out
Gothic academia in my opinion is balance between structure and loose chaos
Makeup can also be important for a look so I suggest, strong sharp contor, white accents and dark liner. A red/maroon lip is a good choice for dark makeup in general.
I got distracted by the visual elements woops
A lot of the staple dark academia books work really well
A good murder plot always helps
The Divine Comedies - Dante
The Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
Carmilla - Sheridan Le Fanu
NIGHT CLASSES!!!
I can't believe I forgot that one
Getting drunk on Absinthe and red wine like a damn vampire
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kaija-rayne-author · 7 months
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I guess the discourse today is about Astarion being the favourite poster boy of the devs to the detriment of the other characters.
Yes. That's unequivocally true. Wyll having so little compared to Astarion is also an example of racism.
It's also capitalism. Larian can't make more games unless BG3 does well. So far it has, so in their choice of poster boy they chose correctly.
Every business, especially entertainment ones, follows a similar model. Develop stories or games that the previous game helped fund. It's common in book publishing too.
(Which, tbf, is my realm of knowledge, but the business facts are the same.)
What you, if you're indie, or the publisher, if not, chooses to spend time on is the thing/character/aspect/story that will sell the most copies so they can stay in business.
They bet on Astarion being popular because:
1. Vampire, vampire stories don't seem to get old. People want more.
2. White hair, if you're at all into gaming or anime, you should recognize the white-haired anime boy coding Astarion has.
3. He's pretty. In games & books like these, people want to get turned on or be sucked into emotions, that's rather the point. So, of course, they made him pretty and gave him an angsty backstory about it. Have you noticed that his vampire fangs are the more traditional style and the rest have funky (and likely more efficient) chompers with the fangs on the front teeth?
4. Twink, you'd have to be really not paying attention to not notice that one. They tend to be attractive to the largest section of players.
6. Slow burn, a lot of people prefer slow burn romance.
7. Classically handsome. You could turn him into a statue (and can!) and he wouldn't look out of place.
I don't experience this type of point form character building, my characters tend to march fully formed into my head and demand I write them.
But Astarion was built as a fictional character that would (hopefully) capture a broad cross-section of players and give the game some more sex appeal.
Sex sells.
I'd lay money I don't have on every aspect of Astarion's character having been a deliberate choice to encourage sales.
And that's fine. That's what capitalism does. Don't like it? Start voting for social support programs and things like ubi so that people can create without worrying about the bills.
Is it fair to the other characters and to the gamers who love other characters more than Astarion? Absolutely not. I do hope Larian gets the message and produces more content to make them all equivocal.
Especially for Wyll, they did him so dirty.
Is Wyll having the least lines and scenes racist? Yup.
Larian, despite their faults, produced something that so few games companies have done recently. A single purchase, single player RPG without micro-transactions that was an excellent game straight from release.
Other games companies are bitching about that because it's like sand in the oyster of their business models.
Which, for a while now, has been to roll out a game that wasn't ready yet and use the players as unpaid, uncompensated labour to find bugs etc. As a gamer, I've really hated that.
Did Larian fuck up? Uh, yeah. On several issues. But they also made an amazing game that was awesome from release.
It would be a shame to lose sight of that.
It's important to call out the shite when we see it, but the current 'it has to be perfect for me, or I won't play' attitude rampant on the 'net these days is disturbing to say the least.
I've read Larian has a feedback thing on fridays. If this really bothers you, hustle on over and participate in the feedback session.
They're still actively working on the game. They can still make changes and they seem reasonably responsive to fan feedback.
But just remember... the reason Astarion is the poster boy with the most content is because of capitalism. It was likely a cold, business focused decision vs anything else.
Which doesn't make it better. I just figured inserting a bit of entertainment business knowledge might be helpful to the discussion.
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Florrickology, Part 3: Wyll's Womancrush Wednesday
If Wyllyam Ravengard is gonna do one thing, it's gush about powerful ladies his dad works with big misty heart eyes and his goblet overflowing with Respect Women Juice. While it seems BabyWyll didn't hold a candle for Florrick like he did for Duke Stellmayne, he regards her as a knightly badass to aspire to, just like dear ol' dad.
Thus, when probed about her in Act 2, he delivers the following glowing endorsement... which is also implies some weird things about his (s)hero, when you really think about it.
Player: Can we trust Florrick? Wyll: I was eleven when the counsellor spotted and slayed an assassin who stalked father from the shadows. Wyll: I was thirteen when she brought word of a goblin warband advancing on Rivington. Her keen scouting saved a hundred lives that day. Wyll: The counsellor's loyalty to my father is beyond question. She's as steady as Tyr's heartbeat, as upstanding as the Sword Mountains.
These lines are a prime example of what exactly I meant by 'unintended characterization' in Florrickology Part 1. The point of this conversation is just to confirm that, yes, the player should trust and continue to cooperate with Florrick because her loyalty is well-proven. What Wyll literally says about her isn't important; it's the impression they leave you with that matters.
The writers possibly didn't really mean to imply anything extra with these lines.
But, they did.
What's more, is they seemingly managed to imply two consistent, if odd, things about her.
Wyll, what do you mean she 'spotted and slayed an assassin'?
Wyll, what do you mean 'her keen scouting'?
Both of these are pretty weird things to say about a woman otherwise presented as a urban public servant... but are they weird things to imply about Florrick? Let's dive in.
Side note: it's also funny yet perfectly in character that Wyll looks upon these subtly bonkers accomplishments with such high esteem, since he is also completely insane but manages to maintain a veneer of "the only reasonable person in the room"
In this universe, the threshold for killing people is admittedly pretty low, but the implication that Florrick kills people sounds sort of strange, especially the add-on that she just straight up and killed someone on the streets--no judge or jury, just executioner.
Florrick, a woman presented as a paragon of virtue, whom Wyll promptly then describes as 'upstanding as the Sword Mountains', kills people? And she is a wizard, so she kills people instead of casting any number of incapacitating spells like Sleep, Command, Hold Person, etc?
Yup-- if they're coming after Ulder Fucking Ravengard!
I will have many thoughts about the debacle that is her confrontation in Act 3 in another post, when she believes Wyll sold his father up the river for his freedom, slaps on a fuckass hood, and comes directly for his head, but at least it's consistent with something. She, like Wyll, looks upon Ulder as a hero and the soul of the city she loves and serves so faithfully, and so she, like Wyll, will scuttle all over creation to find him, take on any enemy to save him, and will treat any attempt on him is an attack that must be answered with impunity.
Moving on to the second line, whereas Wyll's other above is echoed in something else that comes up later, Florrick's alleged prowess as a scout is actually mentioned earlier, in Act 1... to a much less frustrating and much more amusing effect:
In Waukeen's Rest, Florrick states "the Duke has been taken westward, if my eyes and ears are to be believed."
By "my eyes and ears", one might assume she means informants... until you remember she's trapped alone and escapes with the player, so there's no way someone debriefed with her during the 15 seconds between busting down the door and this conversation.
So clearly, she was in the burning inn staring through a burning window , mad as fuck, at the drow dragging him away like
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tbf "her eyes and ears" could also be people yelling what's going on from the ground while she's trapped upstairs but shhhh this is for fun
While this is again an odd thing to imply about an urban bureaucrat, this one actually makes a lot of sense... because she's a wood elf, a race famously good at scouting the wilderness.
This is slightly debatable because the game randomly doesn't list her subrace and she lacks the Fleet of Foot trait (implying she's a high elf), but I assume her dress is simply so tight and impractical that it nerfs her movement speed. On top of having a distinctive wood skin tone, she's filed under "wood elves" in the list of character models in game files, and if she dies in Waukeen's Rest, you can report finding a dead female wood elf to the Fist and they immediately know it's her. So it seems the intention was for her to be a wood elf, even if they didn't execute it fully.
So, what's strange isn't so much that she possesses this skill, but rather that she deploys it on such a notable basis.
So, unlike Wyll's first line which reinforces something we come to learn later, this line opens opportunities to wonder what we don't know about Florrick.
In the previous installment of Florrickology, I posited she was possibly around 120-130 years old, but Wyll's examples only account for what she was doing 13 and 11 years ago. Other commentary, such as by Ulder, indicates she's been a friend of the family and a public servant for quite some time, but how long? We could have up to 100 years of life to play with. She well could have been wildin' since before Ulder was even born.
Has she always lived in Baldur's Gate? Was she always a government official? Is she even a Flaming Fist (I don't think so tbh, I think she's just understood to be Ulder's stand-in) or was she and if she was, what kind of shit did she get up to? When and how did she meet Ulder? Was she always a wizard (she is only level 6 in Act 1...)? And endless more questions!
The implication seems to be that she's been an advisor as long as Ravengard has been duke, so like... what was she doing out there at all, 11 years ago, discovering goblins far enough away from Rivington that she could intervene and save the whole town? Hiking? Keeping up with her secret ranger multiclass levels? Picking up a patrol shift to stunt on all the humans by having 4 extra hours in the day to spend in service of the city? Visiting her wood elf polycule in the woods and happened across goblin tracks?
For the discerning background character fan, this is a goldmine.
Speaking of headcanons and Wyll, I have also decided that one of his best and funniest ambient dialogues references Florrick, even though it's completely unsubstantiated:
Wyll: When I was a child, father sent me to Sharess' Caress to deliver messages. How was I to know what went on behind its closed doors? Lae'zel: Eating, sleeping, and sex acts of all manner, of course. Wyll: Hm. What's plain to you wasn't so plain to mini-Wyll. Lae'zel: Mini-Lae'zel wasn't so sheltered. On Creche K'liir, very little is hidden behind doors.
We all know Ulder only has one person he'd need to talk to so damn bad that he'd send his son to bother her at the damn brothel!!!
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exeggcute · 9 months
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hello! you seem to know a lot about skincare stuff, so i'm curious what products you use for general daily use? i also have adult acne and it's very annoying. i would also appreciate any lip moisturizing ideas if you have any. thank you, and hope your day's going well!
oh yes! although fair warning that I am not a skincare expert at all (I don't even understand half the lingo that people use when they talk about products lol) so take any of my recommendations with a grain of salt...
other than sunscreen, literally all of the stuff I use is either from paula's choice, the ordinary, or good old cerave. I don't even bother trying other brands at this point because I assume they'll just be overpriced junk—plus, you can get almost all cerave products and a good chunk of the ordinary's products at, like, target. I'd also note that you don't need to (and really should not) go out and buy a million things at once; I have a pretty good arsenal at this point but it took me a couple years to build it up by trying one or two new products at a time and seeing what I like.
both paula's choice and the ordinary have "shop by concern" sections on their websites, so if you want actual targeted advice about what to try then I would definitely defer to them lol. but for some specific examples of what I like:
diehard fan of cerave face soaps. they have a foaming pump and a non-foaming pump, depending on whether your skin is more oily or more dry. I mostly use the latter, but since noelle uses the former I'll occasionally steal a pump of the foamy one if I'm having an oily streak lol.
likewise with cerave moisturizer, specifically for your body, but also works great on your face as a final skincare step. will not make you break out. however (important info incoming!!!) the pump lotion is far inferior to the giant tub of lotion—the pump stuff is just kind of watery and sad in comparison. get the tub. you deserve it.
the ordinary hyaluronic acid 2% serum is another "help I have dry skin but also acne" lifesaver. you can apply it directly to (damp!!!) skin or (wet!!!) hair or put a couple drops in your lotion for extra-moisturizing lotion. but it works by drawing outside moisture into your skin/hair, so make sure you're not applying it to dry skin/hair or it can backfire and actually dry you out.
paula's choice enriched calming toner = dry skin savior.
for acne specifically, paula's choice pore-reducing toner fucking rules. it's not harsh at all so you can use it as much as you want. pairs well with paula's 5% AHA exfoliant (which only use when I'm really flaky, since it is a little harsh, but you can temper it by applying lotion right after).
the ordinary azelaic acid 10% suspension is a little tingly, so I only use it when I'm actively breaking out (which tbf is often lol), but it's a great at starving out pimples.
from the paula's choice CLEAR line, I looooove the purifying clay mask. I use this one a couple times a week as needed, usually right after I get out of the shower, and then I'll wash it off and do the rest of my face potions as usual. even if my skin is pretty clear I just like how tight and clean everything feels after. I also recently tried the CLEAR 5% benzoyl peroxide daily skin clearing treatment (only because I got it as a free gift... otherwise I would Not have tried a benzoyl peroxide product lmao. bad memories of childhood acne treatment snake oil shit.) and was surprised how much I liked it, although I've been applying it verrry sparingly. the bottle recommends applying it (1) to your entire face and (2) EVERY DAY, but I've had luck using it as a sporadic spot treatment. pairs well with the enriched calming toner.
I've also been using this prescription tretinoin cream off and on for the past year (from the dubious skincare-as-a-service online pharmacy "forhers" lol) and it's Good but not a miracle. my skin is already pretty sensitive so I try not to use it that often, but it would probably work a lot better if it did. also makes you photosensitive as hell so watch out (sunscreen is a must).
specifically for lip moisturizer, nothing beats plain old burt's bees lip balm imo but if you need something heavy-duty I do like the paula's choice lip and body treatment balm. it's a little greasy but has great staying power and the tub lasts forever!
also important to note. you should always do stuff in this order: wash your face (duh) > toner > other stuff > lotion/moisturizer. I know you're supposed to do the "other stuff" in a specific order if you're stacking multiple products but tbh I just kind of wing it lol.
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bonesandthebees · 3 months
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PHIL’S POV!!!
I’m gonna cry. The carriage story. How fast his brain works. The stone cold worry for his son’s safety. The threats! His son will be found and the person who did this will pay. Oh and this line single handle destroyed me: [But now, for the first time in his whole life, Wilbur was too far for Phil to reach.] He loves the boy so much, Bee. I can’t handle this amount of love. These are just words on a page. Yet I can feel all the grief and love and worry and anger and sorrow. (Not the mention the constant tension I felt knowing what he was about to be told, just waiting for the anvil to drop).
Also, Wilbur being unable to sleep on carriages is much more of an important plot point than I expected it to be. He falls asleep faster/easier than Tomys because he couldn’t rest on the way there. He must be so tired even his panic can’t keep him awake. (Tbf, the panic attack would probably seep energy too). And then we know both Niki and Phil know him well enough to know he can’t sleep on a moving vehicle. And there’s already so much love stored in Phil deciding to let Wilbur rest first because his son truly is the most important thing to him.
[and Wilbur would jerk his head up with a sharp gasp. For a moment, his eyes would be filled with fear. Then, he would see Phil sitting above him, and all the tension and terror in his small shoulders would drain away as he laid his head back down.] given everything else, I think stabbing me might have hurt less than reading this.
We also know how Niki and Phil know this, which is when they visited Summerdam. And I am, so soft. Phil not sleeping but keeping an eye on his kid and then his kid can’t sleep because things keep waking him up and he gets so upset that his little boy can’t sleep (also the self-control he had then is getting thrown into the wind when his child is in actual danger).
Side note: this is your usual technique of hitting us with the fluff to make the angst hit that much harder. I can’t cope with the fact that Phil forgets to breathe. And he’s so protective, but the one time he lets his son out of his sight / sends him away on his own, something happens to him.
Lastly (because there’s so much in this single section, not to mention everything else, I can’t possible get it all yet, I am still skipping over So Many Things) Phil’s brain works so damn fast. He subconsciously knows the second the turns around and sees Sneeg (though hearing him already kinda sets off the alarms). And then everything else quickly falls into place. He knows something happened to his son and he knows it was foul play and whoever responsible better pray that Wilbur returns alive because there will be no mercy (there will be no mercy at him returning with a broken leg either).
P.s. poor Sneeg who knows this man and who much he loves his son so well (because of now confirmed constant surveillance of said beloved child) and has to be the one to tell him his son might be dead.
-🌲
HE LOVES HIS SON SO MUCH!!! I literally added that carriage story to show everyone how much phil loves that boy. he's not the best at showing it but the love is there. and I wanted to show that while phil does like getting his answers fast and prioritizes information, he would rather let wilbur rest and catch up on his sleep before asking him what happened at L'mannes. he's doing all of this for wilbur, so his wellbeing comes first and foremost
love that you felt like you were stabbed. that's how I felt writing it. I did this to myself but oh my goddddd
he just wanted wilbur to sleep on the carriage ride but he just couldn't relax and he'd be so scared when he was startled awake until he saw his dad and he was so little spruce he was only ten years old and phil just wanted his little boy to get some rest aaaaa
it's so funny when you point out that technique of mine because I don't even always do it intentionally. with this I didn't sit there going "oh I'm going to add this fluff scene specifically to make everything that follows worse" I added it bc I wanted to show the depth of how much phil loves wilbur. it just also has the bonus effect of making everything so much worse
yes phil's mind works so quickly because he's incredibly smart. he knows how these things work. not to mention there's also parental instinct at work here because the second he sees sneeg he can feel that something has gone wrong. and he's going to get revenge on whoever hurt his son.
poor fucking sneeg man is just here for a paycheck and now he's gotta tell the consil that his beloved son is missing will probably be presumed dead if they don't find him soon
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uvanuva · 4 months
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Hi Uva <3 Tell me about your OC?
Hi mira <3 Well, it all started with therapy KSKDSNSKSK
(NOTE: sorry if this becomes a vent session, mira)
(spoiler: it did)
My therapist used to say how important it is for us to name the schemas, feelings or/ and behaviors that weren't actually healthy so we could separate ourselves from those bad thoughts/lines of thinking. That helps understanding they are one way of answering the stressful scenarios instead of "the only way".
So, when I got the bpd diagnosis, she applied the Jeffrey Young's schema test (I'm a sucker for it tbh) so we could work on those traits. One of the most strong ones was Abandonment (which was obvious from bpd) and she asked me to name it. I couldn't go up with any names but I could clearly imagine this angry hurt child. It helps me to understand that sometimes what I'm feeling comes from her, from bpd and fear of abandonment, which is only a part of me and not the definition of uva herself.
It also helps me to not get flooded with the bad emotions and gives me some distance that helps to analyze the situation with a more rational perspective instead of getting drowned in resentment. Imagine her, imagining border, being sad and feeling alone, makes me wanna calm myself down and help her. Almost like helping myself as a kid. Being hero I longed to see.
(She's super honest too, like, brutal chaotic honest)
So yeah, an oc but my personal friend. She's a kid that floats around like a spirit, has an angry face, don't trust people and will leave people behind before they leave her. She can't stand the feeling of abandonment and has anger issues. Black eyes, pigtails, black hair with bangs and she's just trying to protect herself from the scary world tbf. Border can be mad sometimes but she just needs to feel safe and a cozy hug.
(BTW, the therapist idea was for me to give it a name to the schema and actually tell it to shut up. Like: "hey you, shoosh, get lost, I don't wanna hear this negativity cause I'm okay and things are not as bad as you're saying", BUT I COULDN'T DO IT. I WANNA ACTUALLY HELP HER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SAY SHUT UP AND BE RUDE??)
For once I'm trying to enjoy myself, having some alone time without feeling alone and she helps me with that too. I'm loving making picrews of her! So fun!
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cheesemonky · 6 months
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the queen's society
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an overview of the universe of mark, david and all their other friends
head's up, this is a very chaotic story line and the amount of illegal activity that these guys discuss and do is unholy 😭
don't blame me, this is all with my friends' input, and this was created a long while back!!
⋆˚⭒。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。 ⋆⭒˚。⭒˚⋆
CHARACTERS :
DAVID:
he is (not so secretly) in love with his best friend
may or may not have a tiny weenie alchohol addiction
does drugs. and by drugs, i mean caffeine. which he gets from an old lady with dementia. and the caffeine in question is kopiko
dropped out of high school in year 11 because "the IB course is way too hard broski" (tbf it WAS difficult)
used to work at a club... not as a bartender...
met almost all his friends in some sort of sexual encounter. 'almost all' being the key words.
swears on his life that he once lived with 8 other people (he didnt, it was one night, and they were all drunk)
shares an apartment with mark, but mark pays the entire rent. like, david payed the first time, then mark moved in and paid for everything after that, including bills
is 25 but only just started uni because mark says he needs a proper job
MARK:
david is his best friend and love interest
aced high school and actually has his life together
rich ass surgeon but had a side job as a bartender for a while
he says he's only living with david because of david's tendencies, but there's definitely an ulterior motive...
his ex-girlfriend is his therapist, so there's tension there
has this weird thing where he gets kidnapped like, every other day, but somehow makes it out???
prefers wine to beer and makes that one 'ew' face when he sees david's cans and bottles laid all over the floor (which is all the time)
adding onto that, has to give constant reminders to get david to clean them out of the tv room, kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, etc. but they're never gone
KAMERON:
gets mistaken for a woman and has to explain that he wears thigh highs and heels solely because they're comfortable ("tf you mean 'heels are comfy'?")
went to high school with mark and david yet still can't handle either of them
no one knows what he does for work, but he's got a pretty good house and a decent car
closeted gay (the closet is made of glass)
visits david every other week to drink, game and get high
the only friend in the group that has never had any sort of romantic relationship
also pretty smart cos he likes to code
STANLEY
rascist asf and no one knows why he's still in the friend group
he's schizophrenic and insists his name is Andleeb (he has names for everyone else as well)
met mark at a convenience store after he tried to rob the cashier, and mark later bailed him out of jail
is dating his drug dealer (actual drugs this time)
finished high school but dropped out of uni
used to be a car mechanic but got fired after a multitude of cars broke down and the company was sued
pretty sporty, major cricket fan
CLYDE
makes and sells meth to most of his friends
tells people that his name is walter white
met david at a brothel an unholy place
went to school with harriet and jim
was never actually part of the main friend group, he was always just... there ig
he and david dated for a while but turns out he only needed david's basement for meth making so they broke up
is dating his client
CHARACTERS THAT AREN'T THAT INTERESTING BUT ARE IMPORTANT TO THE STORY:
Harriett
Jim
Greg
Rebecca
Elizabeth
Rashmi
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@hanjiquokkaaa @jinnie-ret <3
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cr-noble-writes · 10 months
Text
AO3 Meme
tagged by @dandenbo <3
Rules: Give us the links to your wonderful words with the most hits, most kudos, most comments, most bookmarks, most words, and least words.
I almost feel like I should do two separate categories here, because I have way more of everything on my SPN fanfic just based on the fact that it's been around longer and is a bigger fandom. Plus I've written way more fics for it lol. So, I'm putting SPN under a cut because I am not really active in that fandom at this point, but I want to include it because tbf, some of my greatest works of writing were done in it.
Mass Effect:
Most Hits, Kudos, & Bookmarks : All's Fair in Love and Sparring (mshenko, E) It starts off as a sparring match, and they both win in Shepard's cabin. (Porn always gets the most hits in my experience lol)
Hits: 1154 Kudos: 87 Bookmarks: 14
Most Comments:
Couldn't Utter My Love (mShep/trans mShep, M) Jackson Shepard, Commander of the Normandy spends a lot of time with Alex Atruzea, right hand of Aria T'Loak on Omega. Perhaps not my most popular fic, but one that I truly love, and that the people reading it also seem to love!
Comments: 72
Most Words:
Growing Pains (pre-canon mshep, GA) Alex Shepard hopped a cargo ship with an unknown destination when he was twelve and ended up in the Asari colony of Blackdamp on Asteria. He liked the colony, and when he told Ishara—the Asari who found him in the streets—that he’d rather stay in Blackdamp than be sent to the human colony on the other side of the planet, she adopted him.
Word Count: 13088
Least Words:
Disappointment (pre-canon mShep & Hannah Shepard, T) In which Jackson talks to Hannah about turning down her ICT recommendation.
Word Count: 390
tagging: @waidwn @pastelroyce @commander-krios @nickelkeep @bleuzombie @imbiowaresbitch and @wrathoscribbles if y'all wanna do the thing!
Supernatural (Not counting Season Z because I only wrote two chapters of that)
Most Hits:
Lock Me Up (Destiel, M). Dean and Cas have been together for a few years now, exploring their D/s relationship, mostly trying things that Cas suggests, until Dean finally finds something he really wants to try. Again, porn always gets lots of hits lolol
Hits: 8490
Most Kudos: Watching You (Destiel, E) Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak barely knew each other when they were forced to marry by a legal contract between their respective fathers. That was a month ago, and though they’ve been sharing a bed for that entire time, they have yet to consummate the marriage. But Castiel can’t deny his new husband is sinfully hot, and the more time they spend together, the more he thinks he’s falling for him. But Dean never gives any indication that he might feel the same way. Until one night when he thinks Castiel is asleep.
Kudos: 518
Most Comments:
The Quest for the Demon King's Heart (Destiel, E) In a fantasy land, Dean, the Demon King, goes to a distant guild to take a break from evil, where he meets a young adventurer, Castiel, on a quest to slay the Demon King. For fun, Dean helps and protects the adventurer, and affection grows between them. Then, they arrive at the gates of his castle.
Comments: 178
Most Bookmars:
You Should See Me In A Crown (Destiel, E) Dean Winchester: native of Chelsea, MA, ex-Navy Seal sniper, freelance assassin. Known as The Hunter, he works with a small group of other freelance criminals in the Network, where they can share resources, vet clients, and choose targets with confidence. He never takes a job if the target doesn’t deserve their fate and he draws hard lines at assassinating people in front of their families. And he’s got a massive bone to pick with Alistair Sorokin. Castiel may be an important figure within the Russian mafia, running their gambling and prostitution rackets, but he dislikes the way the Pahkan, the boss, runs the family. Alistair is far too violent and Castiel believes it's bad for business. Though he detests unnecessary bloodshed, it's an easy decision for him to hire The Hunter to help him dispose of Alistair and take over the ruling seat to restore order and eliminate the unnecessary tensions and violence between the Russians, the Irish, and the Italians. Neither man is prepared for the feelings developing between them as they work through the long list of targets.
Bookmarks: 118
Most Words:
Falling Apart (Destiel end-game, T) Sword & Cross Resident Rehabilitation is a last-ditch effort for Dean Winchester to move past the drug and drinking problems he developed to bury his guilt over the fire that killed his brother. Not to mention the wild visions and smoky, sentient shadows that have plagued him his entire life. It's supposed to be the best Savannah has to offer, but one look at the crumbling tile floors and dangling crown mouldings, and Dean has his doubts. Enter Castiel Novak. He’s rude, aloof, and a total dick from the moment they lay eyes on each other but Dean can’t help but feel a mysterious connection to the man. Maybe he really has lost his mind. But when Castiel starts making appearances in Dean’s vivid visions of the past, he knows there is more to their link than meets the eye. Even if Cas keeps telling him otherwise. It seems everyone at Sword & Cross knows what’s going on except for Dean. Trying to conquer his mountain of guilt and doubt and figure out the connection he is certain he shares with Castiel is only made harder by the “accidents” that seem to follow him. Not to mention his attraction to Gadreel. Whatever secret Castiel is trying so hard to keep, Dean knows he has to uncover it.
Word Count: 49204
Least Words:
Pants (Castiel/OFC, No rating) An almost drabble I wrote for someone during as a request during a follower celebration.
Word Count: 194
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tozettastone · 9 months
Note
tell me what's up with shisui/karin 👀
For the "send me the rarest pair you can think of and I'll tell you if I ship it and how I think it can work" ask meme
Do I personally ship it? Not rrreallly. I am not like vibing with it in my heart. But it's an interesting pairing to pose.
How it could work: I think this ask is asked in the context of the scenario I previously posedwhere he's haunting Karin either because he's her soulmate or because she's the only one who can see him for some reason (Her ability to sense his chakra is so sensitive that it extends to unusually powerful ghosts? Who knows) and using that concept it would be interesting to think about how they might interact with one another while she's a kid growing up in Grass. Shisui is young but he basically has his head screwed on straight, is the vibe I got from canon.
I can't decide how he'd feel about Karin's role in her village, really. On the one hand, I think he wouldn't be very concerned by her being used to heal other people, as long as the relationship with her village was a reciprocal one where they arguably took as good care of her as they did of any other of their ninja. After all, from his pragmatic point of view, a ninja puts her life on the line for her village every day no matter how she does it. On the other hand, he might think about it more like, hey, Karin is an Uzumaki, and they belong in—well, alright, they belong in Whirlpool, but since there's nobody there anymore, they belong in Leaf. I can see Shisui convincing himself that her relationship with Leaf would be less transactional and exploitative because it would be better for his village, which, you know, could also be her village, by blood. Win win. (Also, tbf, Shisui is a ghost who VERY MUCH has unfinished business in Leaf. I don't think he'd want to share much of that with someone he was trying to convince to live there though—at least not until he'd got her there. ;) )
The Shisui-mediated story of Karin's defection, not to Orochimaru, but to gallivant across the continent to the carcass of Whirlpool and then back to Leaf could be fun?
As for how they'd get on, I think Shisui would enjoy poking fun at Karin but he's not as relentless about it as someone like Suigetsu. ...She can't strangle him, either, though. And I think Karin would enjoy looking at Shisui, and perhaps if he was relentless in his company and good advice may come to trust him (about the important things. not about whether or not her undercut is cute). But I think she'd need a brief arc where she lost contact with him in order to discover her feelings aren't as shallow as she takes for granted.
Also, she should be the key to getting him a new body with her massive Uzumaki vitality. And then:
a) she could act wild about him having a body and all the physicality that implies, and
b) he's still a ghost he's just in his body now, so sometimes she goes to talk to him and he's. fucking. dead. She's like: YOU FOOL YOU HAVE 4 MINUTES UNTIL YOUR BRAIN STARTS TO DIE. GET BACK HERE! YOU'RE NOT BITING ME AGAIN!!
but she'll always do it anyway.
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0shewrites0 · 1 year
Note
This is how Lucas looks like he was written to me:
FB: "I ship it like FedEX"
ALSO FB: "He's a bombshell though. Are people going to like him? I'm not sure about that."
*Simultaneously messes him up at the same time while making him one of their most layered characters in a list. (I love Gary for that reason too). While also wanting to write him but then not because they already looked like they had an original path and didn't want to stray*
Whenever I'm on his route. I'm always like "What was FB even doing with you" and same goes for the unexplained "Big Daddy" connection like💀
Did they set you up for success or failure my darling? But he still excelled, and I can tell they probably regretted it for that moolah($). Notice how he's the only male non OG who interacts with MC in spinoffs. But at the same time...it kinda makes sense and not just because of his popularity, but because of HOW his attraction to MC was written?
Okay, I have a loooot of opinions right now so buckle up:
1) They really said "let's make him so hot it hurts and tease the players, pretend we're giving them a flawless route" and then they went "oopsie, guess not 😈😈" That's the only way to explain this weird amnesia, right? Sure, it affects other characters too (like the love triangle between Lottie, Gary and MC, when you tell Lottie you won't choose Gary and if you don’t choose him at the recoupling, she will act like she's totally surprised and vice versa). But it doesn't affect anyone as much as Henrik and Lucas. And since Lucas is the only one of the two who almost always says MC's name on day 5, while you really have to put in the work to hear Henrik say your name (you need to basically reject Lucas at every opportunity), I agree and I also think they really didn't know how they wanted to play it. There are so many loose ends and it feels like they never intended to tie them together...
2) The complexity of his character, YES! OMG! Lucas and Gary are by far the only two male characters that have any real character development.
Bobby - no, the same old people pleaser to the end, not really ready for love (which he would realise if he were a little more honest with himself)
Noah - uhm, no. Okay, maybe a little bit, because when you are on his route, he realises that he can't always avoid conflict and that he needs to put himself and what he wants first. But he still needs so much reassurance from MC, while we don't get that. Nada, nothing, zilch. And let's face it, we need to keep the money to ourselves for Noah to have the guts to break up with Hope, and that's sad.
Ibrahim - nope, no character development detected.
Henrik - no but he’s perfect just the way he is (and I’m saying this as a non-Henrik-stan tbf!)
3) SAME! I'm so confused as to what happened to him there. Like why drop the "Big Daddy" line and then just leave it at that? That doesn't make any sense at all. I feel like they had really good ideas and maybe a rough outline, but then they didn't bother with it and just messed him up.
4) There are many things that are completely ooc for Lucas - the most important of which is the proposal. Never would he ever welcome his girlfriend to spring it on him like that, even more so at a Love Island reunion. Secondly, he would be the one to propose because he needs to be in control, and fb forcing us to propose is really cruel (especially because at least Noah - and Marisol, I think? - were like, "Oh, sweet! I wanted to propose too"). Then there's the "Alright, let's start planning the wedding right away," where I was like, bitch what? You've got to be kidding me! So much wasted potential, so much lazy writing, and frankly I'm disappointed that they managed to ruin him for so many players - just think of the way they had him act so pushy and "can't take no for an answer" as the r!Lucas. 💀
5) YOU'RE RIGHT AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER SAW THAT! At the reunion both Henrik and Lucas are seen BUT at the wedding - and I played it again to check: I married Bobby and chose Chelsea and Gary as best person - there was no trace of Henrik. Lucas was literally the only male OG islander, you're absolutely right! And I’m so baffled by that but then again I’m not, because he is special. In so many ways. The banter between MC and Lucas is just 🤌🏽 and then in the CMM spin-off we had a Lucas that was completely true to his character again. I feel like every time Lucas and MC interact, you feel the electricity between them, even if MC is married to someone else or in a partnership.
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This is the proof btw. I didn't give Lucas any special role during the wedding ceremony and he was still there while Henrik was not. Or any of the Casa guys for that matter, lol.
Dang, just thinking about him and how fb could have made him the best written character along with Gary really makes me sad....
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summerwritesfics · 2 years
Text
🕸️Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life, Chapter 1 - The Blood On Our Hands Is The Wine We Offer In Sacrifice
Pairing: Hanzo Hasashi/Kuai Liang Length: 4106 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Vampire & Werewolf AU, Gang AU, Vampire!Kuai Liang, Werewolf!Hanzo, Vampire!Quan Chi, Vampire Turning, Murder, Graphic Descriptions of Corpses, Gang Terf Wars, Blood Drinking, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of a corpse being kept in a freezer, Quan Chi is a creepy Bastard, NSFK (Not Safe For Kuai)
Hold Me Like You Held Onto Life Masterlist
Notes: AYO more vampire AU’s because I have 0 self control! Well, tbf I actually wrote this back in like… December? I think? So actually before my other Vampire & Werewolf AU’s lmao! So yeah, this is part of the whole seclude thing to fill the gaps until October. I think originally this first chapter was gonna just be like a prologue but fuck it, it’s chapter one now lmao. If you follow my personal tumblr (Which you should it’s @summertrapped btw :3) I have made multiple references to an AU generator project. It started as a brainstorming exercise, randomly generate two different AU types and try to come up with a coherent plotline. Some of them are wild lemme tell you, but there are a few here and there that I’d really like to properly work on and this is one of them. Title is from “Vampire Heart” by HIM, & Chapter 1’s title is “Wings Of A Butterfly” by HIM (I was clearly feeling some kinda way when I titled this lmao)
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Hanzo stared at the map of the city, hand under his chin. Everywhere that the Shirai Ryu currently controlled was marked by yellow. Their territory was slowly starting to border on Black Dragon turf, and that was troubling. Hanzo was sure he could make a deal there somewhere along the lines, especially if they had a common enemy in the Red Dragon.
The large patch of blue on the other side of the city was far more alarming however. The Lin Kuei had seemingly increased their efforts for more ground. If Hanzo didn't act soon, they could overpower the Shirai Ryu.
They had to have a plan before the next full moon, the pack was stronger then, and with a well thought out operation the werewolves could easily push back their enemies. He thought back to a possible alliance with the Black Dragon. Kano was oafish, as half-dragon's tended to be, but the clans backup would definitely be useful against their enemies. Especially when the Lin Kuei was mostly comprised of humans, with a few supernatural entities here and there.
He turned to his second in command. "It looks to me like we may have to create an alliance with the Black Dragon."
"I was considering that too, Boss. But..." Junpei shook his head and pointed towards the large red block of the city. "That could also work against us, if the Lin Kuei decide to ally with the Red Dragon."
Hanzo scoffed, "the Lin Kuei won't do that. You know as well as I do that Oniro is too stubborn." It really was their biggest weakness. Oniro was an old fool, far too set in his ways. It made everything so very predictable, and that made things a lot easier for Hanzo. "Besides, I am sure Kano wouldn't say no to a few extra claws against the Red Dragon."
"We should focus on pushing back the Lin Kuei first," Junpei reminded him. "The next full moon is only a month away, our plan needs to be flawless."
"It will be," Hanzo stated confidently, smirking as he lent against his hands. "The Lin Kuei have been too cocky lately, we need to remind them of their place in the food chain."
Before Junpei could further add his opinion, the door slammed open, Katashi stumbling through with a panicked look on his face. Hanzo usually preferred his pack to knock, but given how jittery Katashi was, it looked like this was important.
"Katashi, you know I do not like interruptions." He crossed his arms and watched as the other man scrambled to shut the door behind him. "What is the meaning of this?"
"It's the Lin Kuei, Boss," Katashi said between his pants. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. "Oniro's dead."
Hanzo paused at that, a strange horror sweeping over him. All that security in Oniro's predictable actions was gone in an instant. He took a deep breath. No, the Lin Kuei will still be predictable. Oniro had a son, Sektor, and it was set in stone that he would be the next leader. Sektor had the same weak spots as his father, it would be fine.
"I take it Sektor will be taking over then," Junpei voiced Hanzo's own thoughts. He pushed himself away from the map and rolled his eyes. "Maybe pushing them back will be even easier than we thought. Sektor is a brat and certainly isn't cut out for the job."
"True, we will have to account this into our plans," Hanzo claimed, until he saw Katashi raising a hand.
"Uh. Boss. I don't know how to tell you this but..." Katashi paused, looked down at the paper in his hand. "Sektor hasn't succeeded his father."
"What?" Hanzo asked in disbelief, reaching to rip the paper from Katashi's hands. It obviously had the answer. "Then who has?"
He opened the paper, and skimmed it, and suddenly any certainty of victory was pulled from beneath his feet.
The paper read "It is by my decree that Song Bi-Han will take my place."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Bi-Han was a high ranking Lin Kuei, and he was there for a reason. He was one of the few humans who could keep up with the supernatural with ease. He was feared by many, and known to be an impossible to predict renegade. Someone so vicious and bloodthirsty at the healm of the Lin Kuei spelled trouble.
Not least because Bi-Han had a very personal grudge again Hanzo. He'd never really figured out why. Something about a family member of Bi-Han's being hurt by some Shirai Ryu, and Bi-Han had taken it as an attack against himself. Whatever Bi-Han thought the Shirai Ryu had done however, it seemed he wasn't going to stop with his attacks against them until so called vengeance was his.
Bi-Han being in charge of an entire gang posed a monumental problem, not just for Hanzo and the Shirai Ryu, but the entire city.
"Oh fuck," he heard Junpei grunt from beside him, looking over Hanzo's shoulder at the paper. "If this is true, then we need to get ahead and up our defences."
Hanzo nodded, folding the paper and placing it in his top pocket. "Katashi, gather as many people as you can, have them patrol our territory, kill any Lin Kuei on sight."
"On it Boss," Katashi claimed, doing a quick salute before he was out of the door.
"Junpei, contact Kano," he ordered, turning back to the map again. "I think that alliance just became vital."
"As you wish, Boss."
Junpei hurried out of the room, while Hanzo was left to stare at the map in front of him. All they had to do was hold out for another month. Then, when the full moon came, they could fight back and hold the Lin Kuei away.
At least, that's how he hoped things would go down.
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"So, you accept my deal?"
Bi-Han looked across at Quan Chi, the other man holding out a glowing green hand. He knew once he shook, there was no going back, Quan Chi's magic would bind them together. But this was a small price to pay, wasn't it? To make the Lin Kuei stronger.
And a small price to bring Kuai Liang back to him.
"I accept," Bi-Han stated, reaching out to take Quan Chi's hand.
As his fingers clasped the other mans hand, that green magic began to swirl around them. He watched in fascination before he felt burning on the back of his hand. Bi-Han didn't pull away though, he knew this was part of the process. The magic dispersed and the burning stopped, but Bi-Han didn't let go until Quan Chi himself pulled his hand away. After it was over, Bi-Han looked down at the back of his hand, branded into his skin was a marking he was very familiar with. The mark of the Brotherhood of Shadows.
He sighed, it is done, he was forever bound to the Brotherhood. And now Quan Chi had to start holding up his end of the bargain.
"Now that is done," he started, watching as Quan Chi wandered back to his alter as if nothing had just happened. "Bring Kuai Liang back to me."
Quan Chi chuckled, "demanding, aren't you? I can see why Oniro chose you to be his successor." He straightened himself and held out his arm. "I will need his corpse."
Bi-Han nodded, turning behind him and giving a call. Cyrax and Sektor came in carrying a body bag, and Quan Chi gestured for it to be placed on the alter. As they did, Bi-Han stalked over to join them. He could see the positively sour look on Sektor's face, still bitter he was snubbed position as leader and hating every second he had to follow Bi-Han’s command. Cyrax looked like he was trying to remain impassive, but given how stiffly he was holding himself, he was clearly uncomfortable with what was happening. He had been close to Kuai, so Bi-Han could at least understand why this didn’t sit right with him.
Once the body bag was on the alter, Sektor and Cyrax stepped back. Quan Chi reached for the zip, undoing the bag and slowly revealing what was within.
And there lay Kuai Liang, lifeless and pale but perfectly preserved since the day he died.
Quan Chi made an impressed sounding hum as he traced the features of Kuai Liang's face, "I have to admit, I'm impressed with how well his body has held up." He looked at Bi-Han with an eyebrow raised, "I thought he had been dead for 5 years, his body should be far more decomposed by now."
"I've... been keeping him in my freezer," Bi-Han awkwardly admitted, trying to ignore the look of disbelief and horror Cyrax shot him. He didn't need someone judging his actions right now. He had done what he had to do in order to be reunited with his brother.
"That, my friend, is the most fucked up thing I've ever heard," Quan Chi said with a dark laugh. Bi-Han just grumbled under his breath. "Still, I am glad you did, it will make turning him so much easier, as I have to do fewer... repairs."
"Could you get on with it then?" Bi-Han hissed, the longer he had to look at his brother's dead body, the more he yearned for him.
"Very well." Quan Chi placed a hand on Kuai's face, where there was a large gash that had been left across his right eye. "First I will need to heal his wounds."
The wound started to seal over, red and raw new skin scarring over where the wound was. He then placed his hand on Kuai's chest, the same happening to the stab wounds. He suspected it was healing the internal injuries Kuai had sustained as well. Quan Chi admired his work for a second, and hummed.
"Does he have any other injuries that I am not seeing?" Quan Chi asked, looking over the body with interest.
"No, those are all of them," Bi-Han explained, biting his lip.
"Good." Quan Chi held one hand over the centre Kuai's chest while the other grasped his forehead. "Now I will need to restart his heart and brain."
Before Bi-Han could ask what that meant, Quan Chi was chanting something, both of his hands glowing red. After a few seconds, Kuai Liang suddenly gasped for breath, his eyes shooting open and possessing an eerie red glow. Kuai's breath was coming out in a short sharp wheeze. Bi-Han wasn't sure he was aware enough to know what was happening. Quan Chi's chanting stopped, his hands still glowing.
"Lastly, I need to make sure this sticks," he growled, running his tongue under his teeth. He looked over at Bi-Han. "This is your last chance to back out, if I do this, he will not be able to be turned back, and will forever be one with the night."
"I want my brother back," Bi-Han snarled, getting tired of these games. Especially when he could see his brother breathing for the first time in 5 years. When he was so close to having him back. If he stopped now, all of this would be for nothing.
"Very well."
Quan Chi opened his mouth, before he lent down biting into Kuai's neck. Kuai made a pained and confused sound, but didn't fight what was happening. The glow of Quan Chi's hands slowly stopped, he removed them and as he did, Kuai's eyes stopped glowing. He didn't stop breathing though, just continued to lay still, eyes darting around like he was trying to figure out where he was. He saw Quan Chi unhinge his jaw, licking around the wound he had made before finally standing up straight.
"It is done," Quan Chi announced, reaching down to stroke Kuai's hair. When Bi-Han saw him flinch, it finally dawned on him that this was real.
Kuai Liang was alive again.
He rushed forward, taking Kuai's face in his hand. Kuai's eyes were unfocused, but he could see him frown like he was trying to figure out what he was looking at.
"Kuai Liang?" Bi-Han asked, feeling his heart well with emotion when Kuai's eyes widened in recognition. "Can you hear me? Are you okay?"
"B-Bi-Han?" Kuai stuttered out, blinking to clear his eyes. "I- W-what happened? I- I feel c-cold."
"That is normal," Quan Chi interrupted, as if he was anticipating Bi-Han to bite his head off about this. "He will get used to it."
"It's okay, Dìdì," he said as softly as he could. "You're safe now. I brought you back to me, and I am never going to let anything happen to you again."
He helped Kuai sit up, before wrapping his arms around his torso. He could feel him shivering against him. He felt Kuai lift his arms, slowly returning the hug, clinging to Bi-Han limply. It didn't matter, his strength would return to him with time, and he would be the same Kuai Liang he was before. Well, aside from the new challenges that came with vampirism, but they would deal with that together.
He had his brother back. Nothing else in the world mattered.
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Kuai shivered, pulling the blanket around him slightly tighter, and pushed himself close to the radiator. No matter what he did, he just couldn't get warm. Quan Chi had claimed this was normal, at least for a vampire, and he would grow used to it but Kuai wasn't sure he'd ever get used to feeling this cold.
For a vampire.
Shit, that was what he was now, wasn't it? A vampire. A creature of the night. How the hell was he supposed to feel about that? Grateful? His brother had seemingly gone to extreme lengths to bring him back to life. Horrified? He was supposed to be dead, he had died 5 years ago. He shouldn't be here.
A particularly nasty chill sent shockwaves down his spine, and he audibly whimpered at it. Bi-Han's head snapped over to him, interrupting whatever he and Quan Chi were now talking about. Quan Chi looked extremely annoyed when Bi-Han walked back over to Kuai.
"Are you still cold? Do you need me to turn up the heat some more?" Bi-Han asked, placing his hand on Kuai's head to take his temperature.
"I've already told you," Quan Chi huffed, hands on his hips, "this is normal. He is undead, his body will no longer retain heat. He will get used to it."
"H-How l-long will it t-take?" Kuai asked, looking over to the man.
Quan Chi gave a frustrated sigh before he walked over himself, "I suppose, seeing as I am your sire, it is my place to teach you about how your body works now." Quan Chi bent down, placing a finger against Kuai's temple. "Your body should readjust in a few weeks, or a month if you are unlucky."
"What do you mean about being his sire?" Bi-Han questioned, his eyes narrowing. Kuai was starting to think that despite how long this had been planned out, his big brother hadn't done much research into what the aftermath would entail.
"It simply means that I was the one who turned him," Quan Chi said with a roll of his eyes. "It means we have certain obligations to each other."
"W-what-" before he could ask, Quan Chi had moved his finger over Kuai's lips.
"We don't need to go into that now," he stated in a hushed tone. "You are still in shock, you will need time to adjust before we can really go over the details." Kuai's eyes flicked over to Bi-Han who was staring at Quan Chi with a murderous look. Even when not looking at him, it seemed Quan Chi knew how Bi-Han was reacting as he said "you can stop looking at me like that Bi-Han, I warned you many times before we got this far that there would be certain links between myself and your little brother."
"You never mentioned anything like this," Bi-Han hissed.
"I did, you just didn't listen," Quan Chi snapped back, before a dark smirk crossed his face, "besides, I thought you said that any conditions would be worth having your precious Kuai Liang back?"
Bi-Han's face was going red, and his fists balling up. Kuai instinctively went to put a hand between them. Kuai knew this face, had seen it a million times. It was the face he generally made right before punching someone. While Kuai was certain Quan Chi deserved it, something about his general demeanour set off alarm bells in Kuai's head, he also knew there was a magical deal involved. He didn't know if attacking Quan Chi would cancel that deal, but he didn't really want to risk it.
Bi-Han opened his mouth and was about to say something, when Kuai felt himself go lightheaded. He closed his eyes and reopened them, suddenly feeling fuzzy, like he hadn't eaten in a while and his body was telling him to eat before he passed out. As usual, his brother immediately noticed something was amiss and cupped his chin.
"What's wrong?" Bi-Han glanced over to Quan Chi. "What did you do to him?"
"Nothing," Quan Chi muttered, almost sounding fascinating. "That was faster than usual."
"What was?" Bi-Han hissed through clenched teeth, "what is wrong with him?"
"Oh would you stop your barking, you are worse than a chihuahua." Quan Chi stood up with a dismissive wave. Kuai could practically feel the anger rising from Bi-Han. "He needs to feed, that is all."
"F-feed?" Kuai asked, realising his earlier thoughts were actually quite accurate. However, given his new circumstances, he had a feeling that a sandwich wasn't going to fix this.
"You need to drink blood to survive," Quan Chi explained in a casual tone. "Usually it takes a few weeks for the newly turned to require their first feed, but..." Quan Chi put a hand under his chin and stared Kuai up and down, "I suppose being dead for so long has increased your need for blood."
"H-how oft-often will this happen?" He questioned, bracing himself against the couch feeling like he was unable to hold his own weight.
"Once a month usually does it," Quan Chi said with a shrug. "I should probably teach you how to hunt." Quan Chi held his hand out to Kuai, and he felt a strange dread come over him. "Let us go and find some prey."
Kuai wanted to protest, in part because referring to people as prey felt wrong. The other part was a sudden and weird desire to never be alone with this man. He couldn't explain it, but he had a feeling something bad would occur if it ever happened.
"That will not be necessary," Bi-Han cut in, and Kuai tried to not let his relief be visible. "I realised this would come up eventually and have already made arrangements."
"Well, aren't you resourceful," Quan Chi muttered in a bitter tone. Kuai felt that cold creep down his spine again, this time it was definitely not from the cold. Quan Chi looked downright livid he wasn't getting to do god knows what with Kuai in tow.
Yeah. Kuai decided there and then he was never going to be alone with his "sire".
Bi-Han picked up the phone in his office and pushed a button, ordering whoever was on the other end to come to them. Kuai sat in uneasy silence, unsure which felt worse, the idea of drinking from a stranger or someone he knew. As there was a knock on the door, before it opened to reveal Tomas, Kuai quickly came to the conclusion the latter was worse.
"What do you need, Boss?" Tomas asked, but his eyes kept flicking over to Kuai. It was the first time Kuai had seen him since he'd come back to life, and Kuai wondered if this situation felt as weird to Tomas as it did to him.
"Remember when I asked you to take on a very special role when Kuai Liang came back?" Bi-Han questioned, and Tomas' face lit up in recognition.
"Oh. You need me to do that already?" He sounded so casual about it.
How long ago had Bi-Han asked for this? Actually, how long had Bi-Han planned any of this? If he'd managed to get Kuai's body into a freezer before decay set it, it must have been soon after his death.
Kuai had zoned out, and before he knew it, Tomas was knelt in front of him and uncovering his neck. Kuai stared, feeling a weird urge to bite into his flesh. And then he looked at Tomas' face, and memories of them sat together playing video games, eating Chinese take out and giggling the whole night through came to mind. Oh god, he couldn't do this to his best friend.
"I- I can't," he whispered, turning away, "I'm- I'm sorry it's t-too weird."
"Kuai, it's alright," Tomas softly said, putting his hand on Kuai's thigh. "You need this, and I'm okay with it."
Kuai shut his eyes and shook his head. And then he heard Quan Chi chuckle.
"My offer still stands, if you would prefer it."
Kuai realised he was between a rock and a hard place. He knew damn well he didn't want to go with Quan Chi, especially when his body was still recovering from the trauma of being revived. The idea of drinking from Tomas really didn't sit well with him but he tried to think about this logically. Clearly, it seemed Bi-Han and Tomas had talked about this before. It was clear Tomas had agreed, but had it been under pressure? Kuai didn't know, he would just have to trust his best friend knew what he'd signed up for.
"W-won't f-feeding from s-someone turn them?" He questioned. It was bad enough him being forced to live like this, the idea of forcing anyone else to do that same was eating at him.
"No, that is a common misconception," Quan Chi explained, sounding annoyed again, clearly realising that Kuai was deciding to go with his friend rather than his sire. "Only those that are already dead can be turned. Your friend here will be quite safe, so long as you don't completely drain him."
Kuai had a feeling that was a strange jab to try and manipulate him. Why did Quan Chi want to go hunting with him so badly? Yes, there was now a strange connection between the two of them, but that almost felt like an excuse. What did Quan Chi want from him? What did he want from Bi-Han? There was something going on here, and Kuai wasn't sure what it was or why it was happening.
"T-Tomas, a-are you sure?" He questioned, ignoring the snort from Quan Chi as he did.
"Of course," Tomas replied, once more baring his neck to Kuai. That same hunger coursed through Kuai, licking his lips as he stared at the delicate veins. "I'm just glad to have you back, snowflake."
Kuai lent forward, brushing his teeth against Tomas' neck. Every instinct was telling him to bite, but not telling him where. He heard an annoyed grunt, foot steps walking over to him, and a hand grasping his hair.
"Here, this is where you bite if you want to do the least damage," Quan Chi instructed, pulling Kuai's hair to position him slightly more to the side. "I'm sure you can figure out the rest."
Kuai didn't really need to be told. He slowly bit down, feeling his now sharp fangs break Tomas' skin. His friend gave a heavy exhale, before reaching to cradle Kuai's head and encourage him. The taste of copper washed into his mouth, and Kuai was surprised by just how good it tasted. He began to suck, finding more blood pooling in his mouth, swallowing it. He felt lightheaded, but in a good way, almost like a drunken stupor.
So good, he was mostly able to ignore the way Quan Chi was looking at him. As Tomas whispered insurances for Kuai to keep going, he slowly became more aware that Quan Chi's gaze was just not leaving him. He looked over to him. While his balled up fists revealed he was still bitter about Kuai's choice, the dark smirk on his face seemed to suggest that he was undeterred, just scheming a new way of getting what he wanted.
Quan Chi clearly had plans for him, and Kuai Liang was determined to not be part of them.
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≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟
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llycaons · 1 year
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Ep5: the gay porn episode
even tho we know that lwj is at the very least attracted to wwx, this early on it really doesn't come off like that at all to anyone else besides lxc. he's even harsher and stricter with wwx than he is with anyone else. of course, later on he does a 180 because he's incapable of acting like wwx means as much to him as anyone else does
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a boy is FLIRTING
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wwx goes to a lot of effort this episode to repair his relationship with lwj, which indicates a lot more responsibility and maturity than, say, jc would have us believe. though tbf, wwx isn't trying to become friends for political reasons, he just wants lwj's attention. but he's also defending and explaining his actions, and the fact that he'll retaliate when attacked is of course extremely important later on. even with all the changes he goes through and and nuances we see, his core character is intact throughout. such strong writing
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saw a blog once claim this wasn't necessarily sexual but um that's definitely how I read it. with that look? come on.
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their rooms are so gorgeous
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ICONIC APPEARANCE OF HISTORICALLY ACCURATE GAY PORN!!!!
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this is so funny to me. wwx is so shocked that the extremely uptight young heir of a famously conservative and traditional sect hasn't seen gay porn. my boy idk how open-minded the jiangs are but you are not in yunmeng anymore...tbf lxc and lqr aren't even homophobic, but the kind of distress that his feelings cause lwj have got to come from somewhere, and I don't think it's just 'not wanting to be into someone so different from the lans'
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wwx turning back the rules on lwj extremely fucking funny
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aw :(
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JIANG CHENG IS NOTHING EASY.GIF MOMENCE
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nooooooo jc don't say that
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jc is so happy to see wq, and his little pleased smile when wwx complains that she's only paying attention to jc....oh boy. boy oh boy. this is so sad
young jc is like. he's so fragile. he still has potential. he hasn't done anything he can't come back from yet. he loves his siblings. he likes a pretty girl. I mock him for the comb but it's not a great wrongdoing to be a little awkward and go for the thing that adults say girls like. it's not like he has any healthy relationship to emulate. ough.
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SO MEAN. in contrast lwj is just a huge fuckin brat
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see we rag on wwx for not telling people shit but early on at least, he was a good communicator! he saw that his actions could be misread and he took steps to clarify where he was coming from and why he did what he did
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this is still one of my favorite jokes
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wq literally is doing her job as a doctor and jc is like 😳 lady wen... I don't blame jc for having a crush but I DO blame shippers for being shitheads about a woman who is literally just doing her job
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wen ning rushing in to save su she is so. he's the weakest cultivator here and he still put his life on the line to save this guy. this is something else we'll see later, when he uses his meager position to save jc and the jiang parents' bodies, and when he tries to stand up for his fellow wens at the camp
ppl who ship jc and wn are unhinged for various reasons but the kicker is right here. wq briefly held fast to her principle of looking after her family and nobody else, but wen ning never did. he puts himself in danger for people he barely knows over and over again, with no possible reward. this mindset is so alien to jc's caution and 'I got mine' outlook that there's no conceivable way that they could ever make a relationship work. even in an AU, I could barely see them becoming friends. they're just too different at their core
whew, what a long episode. ngl, this sequence at the lake ties with the maze forest as my least favorite parts of the show. it's just so BORING. there's some character work, like wwx saving wen ning and giving him the amulet, jc getting himself a crush, and wwx flirting, but it's not enough to liven up this very dull passage. regardless, the ending where lwj bought the ES for wwx was sweet
personal highlights: ep5
wwx being very openly and vocally into male erotica. I mean how are people STILL saying he didn't know he was into dudes. boy was about to start crying when lwj destroyed his treasured collection
wwx flirting in the library. he knew what he wanted. oh and him being really good at communicating. nice job, wwx!
jc has such a nice smile it breaks my heart for him
wwx giving wen ning the protection pouch 🥺
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