Adam, coming out of his room for the first time:……Alright what the fuck do you guys even do here? Therapy, or some shit
Lucifer who had been waiting for him by the door: Charlie has activities usually, and is more then willing to talk to residents about their feelings and how they ended up in hell so that’s like therapy. I’m surprised you know about that, has heaven finally implemented it?
Adam, grumbling: No Heaven doesn’t fucking have therapy, but for the last ten years the newer winners have been asking why and the older angels had to find out what the fuck it is
Lucifer, humming: I do have to wonder how all the therapists up there don’t fall from utter frustration
Charlie, watching them come down the stairs excitedly: Hi Dad! Hi Adam! I’m so excited you came down. How are you feeling today, do you think you might be up for an activity? Or ooh, I never got to show you around the whole hotel just to your room. Whatever you feel like!
Adam, stepping back: I knew she was excited during the meeting but Is she always this fucking cheery? It’s like Emily has a long lost twin from Hell
Angel Dust, from the bar: It’s the new resident joy, you’ll get used to it lambchop!
Husk, snorting: You act like you don’t adore that girl
Angel, pointing at him with three pointer fingers: You, shut up
Lucifer, beaming with pride: She’s very passionate about her work, always has been
Adam, groaning as Charlie looks at him with glimmering eyes: Dear fucking god, shit alright, fine I’ll take the tour
Vaggie, walking up to them with her spear: Good, because todays activity is Alastor’s idea and I don’t trust him not to ‘accidentally’ scar you emotionally instead
Charlie, gasping: Vaggie! Come on, Alastor wouldn’t do that
Lucifer and Vaggie, deadpan: Yes he would
Adam, crossing his arms: I don’t know the fucker, I just beat his ass, but yes the shit he would. Do you see that smile he has going on all the time? I haven’t seen one so fake since Michael’s
Lucifer, gaging: Hech Mike
Adam, nodding: Fucking Mike
Vaggie, vaguely remembering the angel: Do you mean….the Mike who was your bosses boss, the one who came around and inspected the exterminator’s once every ten years. That Mike?
Adam: That’s the bitch, Vag
Vaggie, her cheek twitching in anger: The ARCHANGEL MICHAEL?
Adam: Adding his title doesn’t unmake him a bitch
Lucifer, laughing: Nothing can
Charlie, smacking her head: Awful uncle Mike! Dad told me about him, don’t worry Adam Alastor is nothing like him. The smile is just….a tool for him? It’s harmless
Adam, rolling his eyes: The bartender just looked at you like you lied to gods face and then fucking spat on it, but whatever. I’ll do the activities and shit, later, but only ones you’re in charge of- why does your face look like that?
Charlie singing to Vaggie, after grabbing a confused Adam’s elbow and happily dragging him on the tour: He trusts meeeee!
Adam, flushing: ONLY MORE THEN THAT FUCKING DEER!
Lucifer, following them: Thats still a little, you know
Angel, laughing at Alastor when he walked in ten minutes later: Hey Alastor, guess what sheep boy trusts the devil and the devil’s daughter more then you. How’s that make you feel?
Alastor, his smile becoming more genuine: Positively ‘devastated’
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sorry i'm just thinking about the whole circumstances of the shooting again and how absolutely batshit insane that was???????? like. first they had carla observe eddie and ana and insinuate ana wasn't what eddie wanted as she told him, 'just make sure you're following your heart, not christopher's.' and had eddie's face go on a Journey. then 20 minutes later, eddie gets shot in broad daylight and it was filmed Like That with everything slowing down and going completely silent as he and buck stared at each other and buck is covered in eddie's blood and eddie is falling and buck is shoved to the ground by mehta and eddie is dying but one of the last things he does before he falls unconscious is look at buck one more time and reach out for him and then buck rOLLS UNDER A FIRETRUCK in the middle of active fire to get to him and pull him to safety and when they're in the ambulance he's telling eddie over and over again that it's okay, that he's got him, that they're so close to the hospital, he just needs to hang on, and for the .5 seconds eddie is awake he sees the blood on buck's face and ASKS IF HE'S HURT?!!?!?!?!? because he's more concerned about buck than himself????????? and then buck has to go tell chris what happened and he breaks down sobbing when he finds out eddie made it out of surgery because he cannot fathom the idea that he nearly lost him and he takes care of chris while eddie's in hospital without having to be asked and in the brief interlude where taylor kisses him and runs away buck runs to eddie instead of running after taylor and then he Tells eddie that he lost it when he told chris what happened and that it would be better if he was the one who got shot and eddie sits him down and says he changed his will A YEAR AGO after the well so that buck would be chris' legal guardian if he died because no one would ever fight for chris the way buck would (not even his biological family) and then he calls buck evan and tells him he's not expendable and ALL OF THIS HAPPENS and they never talk about it again!!!! until 6x12 where eddie says he remembers getting shot and thinking he was about to die and then nothing else until he woke up in the hospital as if the memory of the whole ordeal isn't probably seared into buck's brain and i'm just??????????? what the fuck was that guys
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