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#also it's really funny to imagine
bitsbug · 3 months
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My personal (and favorite) Gourmand theory is that they went DOOM mode on the red lizard population and singlehandedly made them become endangered on the facility grounds.
My evidence? Notice how every slugcat before them on the timeline - Spearmaster, Artificer, and Hunter, each encounter red lizards in their campaigns. Only in the campaigns of Survivor and Monk - which come directly after Gourmand - are they absent. They do reappear in Rivulet and Saint, but those both seem to take place in the far future. It took that long for the population to recover from the hell Gourmand wrought upon them.
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vonkarmic · 2 years
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[ID: A screenshot of Disco Elysium dialogue, edited to read: Racist Lorry Driver - “You sad little pervert.” Authority - Don’t give him power over you. If you back down from this, you’re proving him right. Rhetoric [Medium: Success] - Even if he is right, you can still recover from this. You have ample time to come out of this conversation on top. Composure [Challenging: Failure - Without even thinking, the words leave your mouth 1. I'm happy big and sexually normal End ID]
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landoffreaksandfrogs · 10 months
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you could never understand the warriors bond between a lesbian and her IT guy
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deeva-arud · 2 months
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A considerable amount of makeup was used to cover Deeva's freckles and face marks, and Cater also had to use magic to make her clothes his size. They did this as a joke, but they sure were committed to it! 💪
Original style swap challenge by @ashipiko ! (see her post here!!) If anyone wants to give it a try, go ahead, it's really fun!!! <3
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hoofpeet · 9 months
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Punk Ingo and Emmet painstakingly sowing dozens of safety sign patches to their coats
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puppyeared · 1 year
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Design notes (+ a little Portal clownery)
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digitalmyyth · 1 year
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Gay puppet posting
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stere0typical · 8 months
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Say what you want about 13 but her outfits were great. The coat WITH a hood? The cropped pants? The BOOTS? Amazing, practical, wonderful in every way I love her <3
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crystalflygeo · 1 year
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Sinful voice pt.2 ft “Morax”/Prof!Zhongli + fem!reader (modern AU)
cw/tags: Voice kink, daddy kink, dirty talk, female masturbation, oral and fingering implied but like it's just fantasizing?? petnames (sweetheart, babygirl, dear) Reader is DOWN BAD LMAO and suffers second hand embarrasment.
notes: EVERYBODY SAY THANK YOU @localplaguenurse!!They gave me a F A N T A S T I C idea that just inspired me to continue this wip and ended up not even being featured here yet but HEY... future p3!! //winkwink. That said I did NOT expect how much this would blow up and how ppl loved it and wanted more, y'all gonna make me giddy and/or cry pls (consider checking some of my other stuff too mayhaps? <3) Anyway I REALLY hope this delivers bc boi am I afraid of not meeting expectations vcgvhjbnjnmklal
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Weeks had passed since your ‘big discovery’ and you still weren’t quite sure what to do with this information.
At first you chalked it up to just your imagination because… there was no way, right? Your new professor could just have a… similar voice… yeah… that was it.
Except the more you listened to his long-winded explanations the more you picked up certain words and intonations here and there and you knew you were just fooling yourself.
A lot had happened in these last few weeks, from organizing your new living space, to meeting your roommates, to grocery shopping, classes, and you had even considered the idea of maybe getting a part time job somewhere close by. There were plenty of small shops and places around the college campus neighborhood that not only offered valuable services to poor college students but also the opportunity to make a bit of money to help them out.
It had all been rather exhausting and stressing, exams, essays and projects were already starting too…
Lying back in bed you sigh and roll over, feeling the familiar faint throb of desire pooling between your legs, one you’d never really managed to sate with a person so much as with fantasies. But tonight, as you lay awake in bed aching for your usual touch, you feel conflicted.
Ever since that very first day you just couldn’t bring yourself to open up Morax’s website again. Hell, a new month had rolled over and you’d dutifully paid the subscription along with your other usual bills.
Part of you was itching for it, curious, frustrated.
And very very horny.
Thing is, your fantasies had often featured a faceless man, strong, imposing and dominating, taking you like a blushing maiden and making you beg for the pleasure he’d give, allowing him to do anything he wanted with your heated body. Now that man had a face… your history professor Mr. Zhongli.
You used to get off to imaginings of Morax tying you up and having his way with you, teasing you, fucking you into the mattress and making you cum over and over. Now it was Mr. Zhongli. Polite and courteous Mr. Zhongli with his refined gestures and well-mannered demeanor.
You wanted to cum, to reach that high and come undone and let out all the pent-up stress and frustration until you melted into a puddle and didn’t have to think about classes or money or life anymore, but the second your fingers began to rub at your clit, Mr. Zhongli’s voice would hit you with that even tone he used when scolding someone for gossiping during his lecture.
“Disgraceful behavior…”
A hot flash of shame burned at your face but for whatever reason it just turned you on more. You wanted to get fucked so bad you felt like you were going insane. You wanted that man to pin you up against a wall and thrust inside you until you turned into an incoherent moaning mess. You wanted to get bent over at his desk and filled up with cum until you were left gaping and oozing and told what a good girl you are. You wanted to get fucked on your hands and knees squirming and crying from overstimulation.
Lying in bed, you squeezed a pillow against your face and screamed.
You wanted to fuck your handsome history professor Mr. Zhongli.
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It’s barely first period and you couldn’t concentrate.
You were sleepy, hungry and overall, in a bad mood. Standing in line at the cafeteria for a much-needed morning coffee and some snack you yawn and browse around your phone. Math. Gods you hated math.
At least you didn’t have history today. That was a whole other can of worms.
You figured you’d eventually have to get over it but it was just… so bizarre. Mr. Zhongli was quite the popular teacher, you’d learned. Extremely knowledgeable in various topics, a strict but kind and just teacher and good looking on top of all.
No wonder the upperclassmen flocked around him, probably half the campus lowkey had a crush on him, male and female students alike. It was genuinely a miracle he was not married or even had a significant other apparently.
And he was also Morax. Sensual dominating Morax who would just not leave your head-
“Good morning, how may I help you?” The cashier called out cheerfully and you pulled out of your thoughts.
“Morn-”
“Good morning.”
You gasp so sharply you almost launch into a coughing fit; your eyes widen and whole body tenses and oh shit-
Somehow you manage to trip and fall in the clumsiest, stupidest way possible.
“Woah-!”
“Miss?!”
Except you don’t actually fall, but someone manages to hold you, a hand grabbing your arm and the other pressed against your back steadying you as your poor brain goes into overdrive.
That voice!
It’s him!
Too close!
What is he doing here?!
Way too close!!
The seconds it takes for you to react feel like ages as you stare up at Mr. Zhongli like a deer caught in the headlights.
His hands are warm…
His cologne smells soooo good.
His eyes are gorgeous!
He’s so hot!!
“Are you alright Miss l/n?”
“I’M FINE! I-I’m fine!” You yelp, way louder than intended (or normal) and quickly scoot back to put some distance between yourself and the handsome professor. He picks up his dropped bag and dusts it a little, as well as his clothes, still pristine as ever. “I… think I got a little dizzy s-sorry I haven’t eaten yet and… yeah…” You chuckle nervously.
You see him frown slightly. “Going without food for long periods of time can be quite dangerous.” He states, obviously concerned. “Maybe you should head to the infirmary see Dr Baizhu, you look quite pale and the dizziness could be a symptom of low blood pressure. Do you have anything sugary to eat or drink?”
“I w-was about to buy something…”
“It might be best for you to sit down for the moment.” He nods, resolute. “Allow me.”
…And that’s how you end up sitting at one of the nearby small tables with a little glazed donut and a bottle of water, courtesy of your dear history professor.
You stare at the little treat in your hands, half eaten already as he insisted, at least your hands stopped shaking and some color returned to your face. Mr. Zhongli seemed content enough, sitting across from you.
“T-Thank you.” You mumble, refusing to meet his gaze. “How much was it? I’ll pay you back I have som-”
He sees you rummaging through you bag and raises a hand. “None of that, you needed it. I’m glad to see you’re looking a little better, please take care of yourself, health is very important.”
“Um, ok.”
Then he smiles, and it’s gentle, soft. “You’re Miss l/n, right? One of the new students from my history class?”
Huh?   
“You didn’t do very well on the essay assignment…”
Ack. You sigh and take another bite of the small donut. “History is just… not my strong suit. Too many dates and names to remember.”
He chuckles and oh God who gave him the right to make that sound? Your skin tingles.
“Fair enough. I know my classes can be a little daunting, I’m very particular about certain topics and tend to ramble sometimes. But I can tell you really put effort into classes and pay attention to my lectures.” He looks pensive for a moment. “Let me propose something. I usually impart some private tutoring sessions to students on more advanced levels, but I could make an exception for you. If you have time available it could help lift your grades.”
You stare up at him in surprise, grateful to not have a mouthful of donut or you would have probably choked again like an idiot. Did you hear that right? A private tutoring session after hours at his office?!
Now that sounded like a title for one of Morax’s audios: Hot professor bangs his stu-NOPE.    
“I-I’ll think about it! Sure.”
He nods and gets up, sparing a glance at his watch. “I have to leave now, please do consider it. And do try to eat at more regular intervals and take better care of yourself, you look quite tired.”
A polite way of saying you had marked eyebags, yep.
“I’ll try.” You mumble. Suddenly a little sad to see him go. “Professor… thank you.”
There’s that smile again, you could melt. “You’re welcome, my dear.”
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And yet that night, you’re once again rolling in bed unable to sleep.
My dear.
You couldn’t stop thinking on the whole incident, you’d certainly made a fool of yourself but the memory of his strong arms holding you, touch firm but gentle. The scent of his cologne that you wish had clung more on your clothes.
You really were down bad, this is ridiculous…
You bite your lip.
You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t.
Oh but you will, just one wouldn’t hurt.
Quite the opposite actually…
Unable to contain yourself (or your horniness) you take no time to pop in your earbuds and start scrolling. Hmm… there had been a couple new additions in these last weeks.
You can’t help but wonder why he does these. When. How. You never really considered or thought on it before, Morax has quite a lot of patrons (not a surprise) and thought you know nothing about sound and video recording or editing technically he’s making money just by using that honeyed velvet voice of his. That had to bring in some cash, right?
But then again, if you knew anything about these types of subscriptions it was that they required constancy and that meant hard work and dedication. Did he enjoy these? He really puts in the effort given the amazing quality…
You can’t help but picture your handsome professor unwinding a little after a long day, casual clothes, a cup of that tea he loves and setting up to record those dirty words and sinful moans.
Did he sometimes get worked up about these too? Did he also touch himself during or after recording a particular scenario? Sitting back slightly sprawled on the chair, brow slightly furrowed, stroking his co-   
Aaahhhh you needed to stop thinking on him.
Yeah right.
“Daddy eats you out and prepares you for his big cock.”
Well, this looks promising.   
The audio starts like many others, with some dialogue from him and setting the scene and oh… you had kind of missed the playful teasing tilt of Morax’s voice. You can’t help but chuckle lightly, this scene is so domestic. He calls you “sweetheart”, “babygirl” and there are the kissy noises.
You wish you could kiss him…
“Hmmm… daddy’s gonna get you nice and ready. Spread your legs for me.” Oh, you certainly do. “Daddy’s gonna get down here between them.”
You rub at your tights slowly, sensual, remembering his larger hands.
“Oh your little pussy is already so wet and swollen.” Morax coos, voice soft and airy. “You think it’s already ready I know.” He chuckles. “But you know daddy’s cock is big, yeah, your little pussy’s gonna need to stretch a little bit hm?” A kiss.
You whine.
“Shhh daddy’s gonna make you feel so good sweetheart.”
Lewd wet noises invade your ears and you waste no time starting to stroke yourself, slow and tender. He groans and sighs and you whimper, hips jolting from the bed.
Gods how was he so…
“Yeah… nice and gentle hmm, we’re gonna have so much fun.”
His words were a complete 180 from the long lectures about politics and wars, and yet, his voice…
“D-Daddy…” You sigh. “Please!”
“Oh I love how sensitive your little clit is… you like that babygirl?”
You rub and stroke at the little bundle of nerves and see stars already.
You were so pent up, so needy. Your orgasm was already building too quickly, mewling and whining at his words, his noises, trying to match the pace and follow his instructions.
“That’s a good girl.”
“F-Fuck-”
Your eyebrows furrow, your body trembles and you bit your lip to contain your noises. Morax warns you when he adds a finger, and after a few seconds another, chuckling low at how you clench, praising you, coaxing out your pleasure.
You can only picture him at the end of the bed, licking and sucking obscenely at your juices, pumping those slender fingers in and out, in and out…
That tantalizing voice teasing you, your fingers knotting that dark brown hair tipped amber, golden eyes staring up at you half-lidded but feral and fascinated. Focusing on you. Only you.
“A-Ah! Mhmm…”
“Now I want you to cum babygirl come on, in five… four…”
You stroke and pump faster, frantic, lost in that rapidly approaching high.
“Three… two…”   
You cry out, a spark cursing through your veins.
“One… hmmm that’s it my dear.”
“Z-Zhongli…!”
He ushers you out of your release with soft words before saying something else, but your mind is floating and hazy. Your take off the earbuds and place them away catching your breath for a moment, arm draped over your face, the audio still has a long way to go but you’re drowsy and sleepy so you decide to call it a night.
It is only a little later, once you’re done with a quick cleaning and putting everything away, curled up under the covers and dozing off that you realize…
Shit.
You’d called not for Morax but Zhongli.
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wolfythewitch · 1 year
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phils job is the internet and then people are shocked when he knows about things on the internet. Sent during the coffee shop au discussions
Philza fans when he perceives the aus they've been publicly posting online for him to see
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theshadowrealmitself · 3 months
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Ideal Peter Parker getting to full on mentor Miles Morales for me is Peter, who has been keeping his identity a secret from everyone for years, giving Miles absolutely wild advice on how to hide his identity and sounding like he’s super overthinking everything
And then Miles meets like,, Nick Fury, or someone else who really wants to know Spidey’s identity, and it turns out to all be really rational advice because there are people out there going to great lengths to find out his identity
(So yeah, sorry Miles, but you are gonna have to figure out how to manufacture your own spray paint if you wanna use any as Spidey because they will try to use that to figure out who you are)
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sadisthetic · 1 year
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jaya....? (sike. its skybound bad end au. in which jay fails miserably but “nya” never dies. can you imagine?)
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teplejtrouba · 6 months
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a detective who has a partner🔍 and a partner💕 who are friends so the three of them end up doing a lof things together and the detective refers to them as "my partners" and doesn't realise this makes everyone think they're polyamorous (they do end up polyamorous by the end of the story)
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emo-nova · 5 months
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Okay, au where Shen Yuan is the older than Shen Jiu and Yue Qing. And this boy just goes "I'm a single mother of two" mode, he is responsible but is on the fringes of unhealthily independent as to make sure both of these kids get food and water and have a somewhat decent childhood.
Shen Jiu most likely sees Shen Yuan as a reliable adult but with a bad penchant of focusing too much on Shen Jiu and Yue Qi for resources. Yue Qi sees the same but wants to help Shen Yuan in getting more food and water.
Of course when the Qiu House comes knocking, Shen Yuan puts himself in the stead of Shen Jiu and ensures both of them leave. While Shen Yuan tries to both get a better standing in the house and looking to leave over the course of the years, he doesn't hold out much hope for Shen Jiu and Yue Qi to come back.
Last SY saw of them, they were kids, thin and tiny and barely fast enough to outrun adults. But when almost a decade comes, both of them rock up.
SJ is pissed, but looks composed, but still ready to burn the place down. YQ is livid, looking calm as anything, but is talking very nicely with the Young Master of the house in getting one of their slaves.
SY is brought out. He looks slightly healthier, not much, but he has some weight to him, and he is clothed better than rags. He looks presentable. He looks over to the two and has a mini heart attack.
Dawning realisation that "oh fuck, I was raising the scum villain and the head of Cang Qiong Peak" add a light anxiety attack in his head as he just watches everything happen.
They leave, SY in slight shock as he is now free, to Cang Qiong. Now this can go anywhere.
I personally want SY to not be a cultivator but a librarian to the libraries of SJ's peak to help Binghe get the correct manuel but also guide him a teacher-adjacent way to him and others.
Sure, SY would have a shorter life compared to others, but I think with him trying to become a cultivator when he is an adult already would be more difficult and just not worth it.
But anyone can pick this up to something else, possible with a hibernating system until Binghe comes around? Who knows? But enjoy this random, in the moment au :D
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bettertwin1 · 2 days
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Why do u even post here? This ‘roleplay’ crap is so weird… just stop posting on tumblr. All the stuff you post is mediocre and i bet nobody has actually felt joy when talking with you. Also, tf is ‘starself’??? This pronoun crap is stupid. How do look at yourself in a mirror and confidentiality say, “ I identify as a fuckin star!!!” Its weird….
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First of all, I am taking nothing u said personally cause u said it all on anonymous and that says alot about you <- (ur a PUSSY. HOP OFF ANON) second of all, ur mad i'm of whimsy, cleary.
If you want me to entertain ur "asks" tho i can try
Bleehh Xp
"Smth smth ugly art" Show me your art?
U can talk abt lfls i just don't like it personally so i'd rather not hear abt it plus the shock collar jokes r unfunny and boring.
Also ur question is dumb "If it makes you uncomfortable why did you read it?" <- I'M CRYING LAUGHING IF YOU CAN'T SEE WHY THAT'S A STUPID QUESTION THEN I'M SORRY 😭😭😭
"I love rottmnt but I still have a life" <- clearly not since u sent 3 paragraphs worth of complaints for pronouns and a blog u don't run OH BROTHERR!!!! 😭😭😭😭 UR SO ANGRY AT DA WORLD!!! IT'S INSANE!!! HELEPP
Also my fam jump to defend me cause they love and care abt me?? Is that a hard concept to grasp 😭😭
I have many hobbies u have to guess tho
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loganloggins · 1 year
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Can we make it a canon head-cannon that foolish and bad are really fucking old, and they’ve known each other for centuries, so when they bump into each other, it’s not “oh it’s nice to see you again!” It’s “why the fuck are you still alive.” but they trust each other more than anything.
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