#also just so much familial trauma

[saphflare]

If I had a nickel for every fucking time one of my favorite minecraft character on an smp, who also had a divine connection of sorts, ended up killing someone after the explosion of that person's city/base and had the children of that person also witness the death of their parent. Then ended up somehow emotionally connecting with said child of the person they killed and having a odd relationship in which they sorta taken them in at some point, in which they lived near them and just kinda became their guardian of sorts. And the child in some way sees them as someone they can rely on despite the fact of said character being a big source of their grief and pain (sorta, it gets complicated if you look more into that). I would have two (and maybe a half) nickels and things just rhythm somehow.

#saph rambles #content smp #dsmp #dsmp philza #c!philza #csmp doctor4t #doctor4t #also sorta about tommy fundy and luxintrus #philza counts for that one and a half because of the fact tommy and fundy at different points ended up like that #they both later broke off again since stuff certainly *happened* #so yeah... anyways #my favs somehow always end up being glorified war criminals and cannot ever be normal about their relationships #i know the parallels are probably not and very unlikely to be intentional #but I think its funny that across rp block game media that the patterns are patterning a lot #also just so much familial trauma

[mumuqings]

tgcf book spoilers, but one mu qing and xie lian snippet that I think about a lot is this one, at the start of xie lian’s second banishment when he’s surprised to hear mu qing being described as generous and kind:

as opposed to this memory from before his first ascension when mu qing started giving out cherries to the kids in the city:

I think it just really goes to show 1) how deeply mq’s actions truly affected xl and what he thought of him, but also 2) just how different mq and xl are fundamentally in the way that they think and approach things.

I don’t have a lot of commentary on xl that hasn’t already been said, but bc we get the story from xl’s pov, we see a lot of mq’s actions being framed as selfish or suspicious (which is fair, bc again, we know how much his actions hurt xl), but we also see a lot of misconstrued kindness, like in book 8 where it’s revealed that he knocked out fx in order to save him. it’s also pretty obvious how much mq still cares abt xl, with how quickly he volunteers as fu yao and the lengths he goes to protect him when he deems hc a threat, so I also think it’s very likely that mq leaving the trio first was exactly what he said it was — that he thought becoming a junior official, ascending quickly, would be the best way to take care of not just his mother, but also xl, fx, the king and queen, and himself, and so in a way, him leaving was him acting on his kindness. but ofc it doesn’t work out, and he spends the next 800 years fighting w/ fx about it, defending himself, his decisions, and his kindness, and nitpicking the accuracies of his statues while he himself remains completely misunderstood by the two people he probably cares abt the most.

and idk, I guess I just think that’s probably a really lonely way to spend 800 years.

#idk where I was going w this actually #but misunderstood mq who cares so much abt how he’s perceived is smth that I think abt a lot #really resonates w my eldest daughter scapegoat of the family trauma tbh #also to be clear I don’t think xl was in the wrong for chasing him away either #I think they were both just twenty year olds doing their best in a situation that twenty year olds shouldn’t have to face #that said I do think it’s hilarious and incredible that fq spent 800 years beating each other up instead of having one (1) conversation #anyway! I love all three of them! I’m glad they get a happy post canon! #oh also I think mq deserved more than just a ‘just so u know dianxia never thought that poorly of u! just be normal!’ #i think he deserves an apology actually #tgcf #tgcf spoilers #mu qing #xie lian #feng xin #xianle trio #yams thoughts

[neon-impressions]

I AM SOFT AND KIND AND FULL OF LOVE

#everything everywhere all at once #eeaao #movie lists #movie sessions #this movie gave me so much to think about #nilhism and existentialism will always get to you #and maybe you'll never be the utmost potential of what you could be #maybe you are living the worst possible life possible and all the choices you've made are wrong but the only way out is through #the fact that killing yourself is not the answer and figuring out to be happy woth what you have and where you are is such a cute message #also thinking about how family members always go through so much and there's generations of built up trauma #but you still can find comfort with them #a universe where nothing matters is so liberating #just gotta be kind #michelle yeoh #ke huy quan #stephanie hsu #jamie lee curtis #daniel kwan #daniel scheinert #a24 #this movie is basically jester's privilege #also my ramblings make no sense but at least ik how to walk my path better now

[mamawasatesttube]

i accepted im not finishing the timkon vday fic today and instead launched into yet another new wip instead. i present to you: a snippet of kon vs his deeply repressed medical trauma, featuring core four and what is gonna be some gratuitous kon & clark fambly focus...

The voices are still talking, too loud and too fast to understand. Kon tries to breathe harder, his heart racing—the beeping doesn’t help—and looks around frantically. Where’s the exit? He just came through a door, but he doesn’t know where it went—

A gloved hand settles on his arm, and a cold wipe that smells of alcohol scrubs over his skin. Kon tilts his head to see what’s happening.

A needle glints in the doctor’s other hand. They’re prepping his arm for intravenous injection.

“NO!” He jerks away, terror flaring through his stomach. It’s so poignant it almost drowns out the agony. His TTK flares, too, and the doctor and the needle in their hand fly across the room, far away. A flash of light and a person with chestnut hair catches them, so they’re not hurt.

Good. Kon didn’t mean to hurt anyone. He just—he just wants them to stay away.

He’s safe for the moment. Kon sobs for breath—

“Kon!” The person from before, the one lying and saying it’d be okay, appears again. They grab Kon’s hand and squeeze it. “Kon, she was only trying to help! You’re safe, I swear—”

Kon jerks away. “Don’t—don’t lie to me—” he manages. He needs to get up. He needs to get out of here. He needs… he needs…

When he tries to sit up, pure agony lances through his entire body. It radiates out from his gut and spears up through his chest like lightning, so sharp he can’t breathe and stars sparkle across his blurry vision.

What did they do to him?!

He isn’t safe here, he needs to get out of here! It’s only gonna get worse the longer he stays; they’ll get another doctor, another needle—he has to sit up, he needs to move—

Strong hands clamp onto his shoulders and hold him down. Despite all his strength, they hold him down. Kon cries out, a new wave of ice-cold terror spearing through him. “No! No, no let me go!”

“Cassie, you’re scaring him!” the other voice says, tugging at the new person’s wrists, completely ineffectively. “We need to calm him down, not—"

The new person, Cassie, ignores them. “Kon, listen to me.”

Kon shakes his head, terrified. “No no no no no!”

“Kon, you can’t hurt the doctors. They’re trying to help, okay? You’re badly hurt, and they’re trying to help, but you need to let them do their jobs!”

Another person in surgical scrubs approaches. Kon barely hears what they say over all the roaring in his ears, but it doesn’t matter. He knows how Cadmus operates.

“…you restrain him until we can administer anesthesia?” he overhears. It’s enough. He hyperventilates, sobs for breath, shoves ineffectively at the strong arms holding him down. Desperate, he shoves at Cassie with TTK. Thankfully, that has some effect: she yelps as he shoves himself a few inches off the bed, but then sharp, white-hot pain sears through his entire body, and his vision blacks out.

When he comes to, Cassie is over him again, and—and—

Glowing, golden ropes wind tight around his shoulders, his wrists, his thighs, his legs. He’s completely pinned to the bed. One end of the ropes is wrapped around Cassie’s hands.

He can’t move.

He can’t escape.

No. No no no no this can’t happen again, they’re going to hurt him and he needs to get out but he can’t—he can’t—oh, god, this is happening again and he’s just gonna have to take it, and—and it already hurts so much, he can’t take it—

Kon chokes on another sob. “Please,” he begs. “Please please please please—”

Cassie looks anguished. “I’m sorry, Kon,” she says, but she’s not sorry enough to let him go, so it doesn’t matter. “It’s for your own good, I swear.”

He can’t move. He can’t move and it hurts and he can’t move and it hurts and no matter how hard he struggles, he’s pinned, and it hurts it hurts it hurts so so so bad, and oh, god, he’s trapped. He’s trapped, he can’t—he can’t—

Terrified, Kon does the only thing he can think of.

“SUPERMAN!” he screams. “Kal! Kal-El! Please, please—help me, help me, don’t—don’t let them do this to me again, Kal, Kal—”

There’s a pinch in his arm.

The needle.

Kon falls silent.

It’s… it’s really happening again, isn’t it? No matter how much he fights and screams and pleads. They’re gonna cut him open and hurt him and put him back in the tube. They’re gonna make him just another slab of tissue. An experiment and not a person. It’s happening again. And he can’t stop it. He can’t escape.

He can’t escape.

His chest hurts. A single tear rolls down the side of his face into his hair.

The door slams open. Kon’s gaze snaps over.

“What is going on here?”

Superman stands in the doorway, resplendent in all his glory. He’s an even more welcome sight than the sun, and even though Kon can’t move thanks to the golden ropes, he whimpers, fingers twitching as he yearns to reach for him.

He looks furious.

#rimi writes #its like completely unedited so far bc i only edit once im done with a complete draft but hey. my writing process! #also i just have Feelings about kon looking to clark for safety when he feels helpless. thats superman. he saves everyone. #theyre family... clark is kons idol and hero and he admires him so much... and kons just clark's lil guy... #kon #clark #injury cw #medical trauma cw

[justarandomlambblog]

When Narinder and Lamb get together the bishops want to give Lamb a shovel talk. They cannot because there is hardly nothing the Lamb can do to Narinder that is worse than what they already did. Rip.

When Leshy and Yellow Cat get together, Narinder gives a shovel talk...... to Leshy

Anyway

#cult of the lamb #/silly #narilamb #leshycat #the issue is ofc when these mfers give shovel talks it's not a warning its a promise #they WILL absolutely murder each other (or attempt to) so #anyway this family can fit so much drama and trauma into it #Lamb also shovel talks Leshy I just specifically mention Narinder bc brothers

[faraskyetruther]

can't imagine morgan fey being bothered enough to handle mia's funeral but i can imagine a 17 YEAR OLD maya fey pushing herself to make sure her sister has a perfect funeral while trying to ignore all the trauma and grief of losing a sister and being accused of her murder with only one person truly being in your corner (who she barely knew well enough to fully trust but she had to force herself to trust). and also while still being a fucking child who has been forced by circumstance to grow up when she remains unprepared.

#and also she probably had really complicated feelings about her sister trying to hand that evidence to her because inadvertently it may have #put her in danger but that's already a difficult thing to process let alone when the person is dead and you don't want to be angry at #someone you've just lost #i think so much about maya fey and the inherent trauma of existing as a part of the fey family it makes me ill #aa maya #aa mia #aa #ace attorney #ace attorney headcanon #mia fey #fey clan #maya fey #headcanon #morgan fey #aa fey #thoughts #ace attorney trilogy

[caluupin]

Finished TGAAC around 2 1/2 weeks ago but only finished the doodles today. but still, here ya go!

#caluuart #art #dgs spoilers #dgs2 spoilers #tgaa spoilers #tgaa2 spoilers #ace attorney #the great ace attorney #tgaa #dgs2 #not tagging characters bc it's a lot #RAMBLE TIME. so ever since I finished dgs2 I have been listening to the soundtracks and MAN these bang so much #esp as a person who plays the piano and likes music. it's just. good. yeah. some of these do give me psychological dmg tho lmaoo #like kazuma's nocturne theme or his prosecutor theme. or the secret trial theme.... the partners - the game is afoot! theme.... I am normal #WHICH SPEAKING OF! man I love the sholmes + mikotoba partner twist so much even if i got a bit spoiled about it. i just think they're neat. #The partners of all time I think. #Also also the found family!?!?!? I am A SUCKER for found family. they fed me so well. #funny thing was the barok character development surprised me despite the fact that I also expected it since the first game lolol. #I do think he's an interesting character and probably one of the best character development in the game. And that I find his design cool. #oh yeah I didn't draw it but when I saw that albert mentioned that barok is “the darling of the van zieks family” I was genuinely like. #huh? wdym. like man at the time “van zieks” and “little darling” feels wrong in the same sentence. that was until I saw his pre- #-trauma pictures n well. albert isn't wrong. which was a slight surprise to me. #In conclusion: I liked it a lot. and now occupies parts of my brain along with my other brainrots. #They fight for priority in my brain whenever I try to sleep or disassociate lol. Well at least there's more material to think about. #off topic time: arlecchino animation. for the sake of the tag's length I'll just say a few things: #I am very very interested in her story and oh my god father. #My brain has stopped braining now; good night my fellows

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Currently feeling a bit feral over the fact that Natalia means Christmas Day - as in the birth of Jesus Christ and Bucks story is so heavily leaning into the birth death and resurrection of Christ - the saviour - as a central part of his narrative arc. Her presence is literally about the birth of buck - as in processing his grief about why he was born - as a saviour baby.

#Buck hasn’t processed that trauma that dates back to his birth #he was never allowed to grieve the brother he didn’t know he had #and then he was in a coma where he created this version of Daniel - a deep rooted trauma response in itself #but that’s brought the Daniel of it all closer to the surface of his concious #and he needs to process and grieve and allow himself to move on from that #and I think Natalia the death doula is a key part of this - because she is ideally situated to help him process that specific trauma #this isn’t so much about his own recent brush with death (although it’s part of it) it’s about going back to the beginning and processing #he needs to deal with the Daniel of it all before he can deal with everything else #in the same way we had Eddie going back to his own root trauma - with his father - and processing and dealing with things #via frank. this is just Buck taking a different path which will have a similar outcome #yes Buck May date her as he goes through this process but ultimately he’s attracted to her metaphysically - because she can help him #not because he’s actually attracted to her romantically #also the show has doesn’t too much time recently showing us the buddifer family - to ensure we can see where things are heading #before it continues to process their trauma #thinky thoughts #911 spoilers #911 on fox #911 fox #911onfox #evan buckley

[hi-im-just-a-fan-here]

Fucking finally I made another one of the art Nouveau inspired pieces. It's not the best as I had a long break but I tried.

#my uni started and i had to move and then get used to living in one room with a stranger #and also just in general get used to uni #but i have now awesome friends #and we spend a lot of time together #and i love all of them so much #also ive been trying once again flower meanings! there are (very long) daisies that symbolise innocence #and they turn into carnation that symbolise heartache (there at the bottom) #and that turns into wormwood that symbolises bitterness i wanted that to kind of portrey agotts trauma with her family #but also the daisies are in her hair that sort of means she still has some of that innocence left #as well as heather near the birds-these ones mean protection and i wanted that to be connected to qifrey #thats why the birds are there cause of that one chaoter where she summoned her professor with light bird #but yes i ramble serious tag time #agott arkrome #agott fanart #a.mucha inspired #witch hat atelier #wha fanart

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

[pain-is-too-tired]

Jonathan 'Jarchivist' Sims and Annabeth Chase would be best friends.

I stand by that.

#mine #pain rambles #pjo annabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson headcanon #annabeth chase hc #pjo hcs #pjo hc #hc #pjo fandom #pjo #tma #the magnus pod #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #jarchivist #tma jon #both have spider trauma #and workaholics #both are both absolute sweethearts but don't always appear like it #both could kill you and is a cinnamon roll #Jon's lacks just a bit more common sense #but also he gets blamed for everything and i don't think thats fair #Annabeth also gets gaslighted #but mainly by her family and Luke #which Frederick and her stepmother would totally be the type to fuss at her after she just been kidnapped #'You missed so much school-' that's not fair sometimes i was kidnapped! #not same ring as Jon's but you get it

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion? #kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you' #AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you' #even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that' #and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it) #(nothing even ever started you bitchass) #also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal.. #but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

[heartfeltletters-written]

thinking about how interesting the black family could be as a whole but fannon has twisted their personalities so deeply that they’re unrecognizable and refuses to write them as the morally grey/dark characters that they are !!

sirius perpetuating the views of his family in his first year as a gryffindor and having james always correct him. sirius suffering through his teenage years because he wants to please his family so badly so he learns to lie and manipulate but at the same time feels conflicted and wants to be a good person bc … the potters

regulus being a assumed death eater who honestly hated his brother bc he was the perfect heir but now he has to do sirius’ work. give me regulus enjoying hurting people because it pleased his family and he was hungry for acceptance to then later find out voldemort secret and completely freak out and how that affected his morals

bellatrix being the crazy one where all the expectations were on her and craving ambition so when the opportunity arose she took it without hesitance becoming voldemort most trusted follower. but also give me bellatrix being so annoyed and angry at andromeda and sirius for leaving all of them because family should come before everything and do they not see the sacrifices she made for all of them, being the eldest ??

narcissa and her perfect life and how she alone uphold the black family moto while everyone else was either in jail/dead or burned from the family tree so she took it up to herself to carry her family’s name and honor. give me narcissa agreeing with voldemort’s ideals of blood purity but not agreeing with the violence and the killing. give me narcissa seeing andromeda across the room and not being able to reach but wanting too because that’s her big sister but knowing she can’t because she betrayed them all for an inferior being and narcissa kind of hates her but she really doesn’t

give me andromeda missing her sisters so much and wondering how they were doing. give me internal conflict and guilt for leaving her family behind but also no regret because she loved ted and her daughter so much. give me her visiting bella in azkaban because she wanted to see her because she’s still her sister even if she hates her.

give me blacks and their family DRAMA !! give me complicated emotions forged upon years of abuse and sibling competition. missing each other and doing nothing about it so much so that it’s bellatrix who kills sirius which makes it even more heartbreaking. give me their mistaking painful longing with hate.

#the black sisters #the black brothers #harry potter #this is such an interesting family #so much content to explore #and trauma #god loads of trauma #there was a time where regulus sirius and bella could’ve killed each other without knowing #that’s crazy #stop writing them with one personality trait #they were all clever #and so powerful #bc they’re blacks #put some respect on them #ugh i just love to explore their dinamics #the angst #like it’s giving serve #but y’all ignore them for OC that y’all made up #also they’re all dead gorgeous #so let’s not forget that #i feel like it’s important #this was a big enough rant #it’s 2am what am i doing

[alien-ally]

i dont watch a lot of shows, but its been a while since i saw such an emotionally charged confrontation in a bl show. i believe great acting can elevate any confrontation scene (even if the conflict was contrived) but uh here, we knew this all along. we knew the pain was coming, i did, it was delicious, and braced for impact but i still am in shambles. wei lili packing random packets of food from the house for yuan, unable to focus on eating when yuan sits with that face, getting him to pass stuff just to talk to him. a resounding 'tell me, what's wrong?'. never have siblings been so real lol. also, i deeply appreciate the character of Sanpang, cause i think he's supposed to be the reflection of society, but in a far more gentler, loving way for he actually does care for both of them. lol he himself doesn't know 'what's wrong' exactly, just that something should be cause yk it's Wei Qian. also, he's far more nicer than in the novel i've heard. and not homophobic at the very least.

#unknown the series #chris chiu #kurt huang #i dont know how to write it cause its too big for me to articulate but family dynamics in this show is #so fricking well put together and evocative #i've seen roles like wei qian or specifically 'da ge' the 'big brother' in so many movies i've watched as a kid #in my own language ofcourse #trauma ridden families where due to one or the other reason responsibilities fall to the oldest sibling before they're even done growing up #who's usually not even that apart in age with the rest of the siblings #but suddenly they're not just a sibling but a mother and father too as situation demands #like lili says at some point (not yet aired) #we have an exact word for 'da ge' in my language too lol #that also literally translates to 'big brother' in english #so i find it really easy to relate to qian #in a way that makes me feel way too much stuff #thingamabob #aa mine

[motleyfam]

So, in the fic where Tim gets his appendix out, Jason tells him that he usually freaks out before he gets put under, not after. Now that Tim knows, how would he comfort Jason? I'm thinking, like, imagine that Jason breaks his leg badly on patrol, so urgent surgery is in order. Would Tim try to prevent him from freaking out? How?

P.s. i said i a thousand rimes bur I love your works!! You're amazing!!

Ooh so I've actually answered a similar question pretty recently (although that was focused more on the needle aspect than the anesthesia/loss of control aspect which I headcanon to be Jason's main issue with being put under)

Honestly? I think Tim would be the worst family member to try to comfort Jason through something like this. Not for anything that Tim is doing right or wrong, just because anesthesia is something that really freaks Jason out, and his response to being freaked out is a) to angry cry, and b) to lash out at people. Because he knows this about himself, and he's also extremely protective of Tim, he tries not to let Tim see him when he's not fully in control of himself. So while Jason would totally be great in a crisis involving Tim, he does terribly when the roles are reversed.

BUT that being said, if Tim was the only one available, I think Tim would end up offering his hand to squeeze, and Jason would hesitate at first but eventually take it. He'd probably also be trying really hard not to cry, which Tim would very intentionally act as through he wasn't noticing because at the end of the day, Jason needs his dignity more than anything.

#settle our bones #might not really be the answer you were hoping for but i think jason gets suuuper cagey when he's feeling vulnerable #and nothing makes him feel vulnerable more than when his inhibitions are being forcibly removed from him #and he loses all agency #like while being put under #Dick in this series has a LOT of practice brushing things off #and meeting Jason where he's at #but Tim isn't nearly as well versed in it so it trips him up a lot more #but he's also growing and learning and making progress the more time he spends with the Waynes #so while in the 'everybody gets the hell flu' fic he was suuuper wigged out by Jason's trauma responses #he gets less and less so as time goes on and he starts to understand his family more #even in the migraine fic i just posted recently he feels comfortable enough to argue with Jason while they're both in a stressful situation #which i see as progress for him #anyway thank you so much for your kind words and I really appreciate the question!!

[blinkpen]

having long ago made the executive decision to sublimate MUCH more of my rage over all the ways my body identity and personhood have been violated over the course of my life on levels both mental physical domestic and systemic into my writing by the way

#this does not mean we will be Seeing things on screen we don't need to #just that i am going to crank the dial and how much harrowingly visceral information can be conveyed -without- actually doing that #good horror will make a frame with seemingly nothing going on the scariest shit ever bc you Know. you cant see. but you Know. #the tragedy of 'my schizophrenia did not disable me but the PTSD from how i've been treated and taken advantage of bc of it DID' #'and SO MUCH of the WORST trauma was inflicted in the name of Fixing me (be it the mental illness or my gayness or my being a girl wrong) #and a lot of other things really but this is at the forfront of my mind as i finally finish recovering from a lot of repressed shit finally #boiling over to dangerously lethal levels last year and my entire brain just Imploded lmao #i dont know when i'll be able to really forgive my family for refusing to vaccinate or distance and transmitting covid to me twice #resulting in seizures and brain damage the second time #which basically hit a reset button on how well i could manage my pre-existing schizophrenic symptoms and damaged my cognition #i've had to mourn losing a big chunk of my own mind's ability to function focus or even remain anchored in reality because of that #oh yeah the transphobia my family still refuses to work on that and it also contributed heavily to the system shattering so bad #i finally realized that it even existed #some of the alters now have mutually exclusive genders and orientations presumably as weird coping mechanism