#also nun 2 was boring

[chancosmic]

Hmmm there’s a pigeon outside my balcony at 12.30 am. And I just watched nun 2. Fun

#also nun 2 was boring #not impressed #and the sound was too loud #I have very sensitive ears #saw the trailer for exorcist 2 and I almost shat my pants #exorcist was the only movie that actually scared me #not including phsychological thrillers #s is dumb #shitpost #s rambles

[sapphic-woes]

Guess who's basically freeeeeeeeee

My heart is feeling Sevika with the ever constant tinge of Ambessa so I dunno wat imma do once I'm frfr free lmao

#it me :) #i mean im still doing some homework but im bored lmao #also ive been zoning out with just the trope of like #super straight laced or straight forward reader ends up getting totally undone by either of em #maybe its cuz of the fulke fic....luv chap. 2.... #or just thibkibg abt nun!reader and eivor again.... #like rah .. yes....thats my shit....

[dilfl0v3rss]

mini me

summary: dad!ony and his mini me

cw: suggestive towards the end

word count: 1.1k

part 2

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

your son was only eight years old, but because of his father he acted way older. whether it be how he talked or how he would handle different situations it was easy to tell that he was “ony’s kid”.

it was a satuday morning. you had just finished up breakfast, making finishing touches on your son omari’s plate before you saw him and his father walk in. you had to cover your mouth to contain your laughter when you got a look at what they were wearing. ony had on his dark grey durag, black tank top fitting snug on his broad chest with his black and white plaid pajama pants hanging low on his hips. white dry fit socks covering his feet in his resin yeezy slides. over the years he’s bulked up, converting most of the weight he’s gained from your cooking into muscle.

omari had on the same exact thing, but since he was so small everything looked so baggy. his tank top fit loosely on his little chest while you can tell he rolled his pajama pants at least twice for them to fit his small waist. the only things that fit right were his socks and slides since they were both things that you gifted him. the cutest thing was their durags though. the suede fabric looked nice on their heads with a small “o” on the strings so when they tie them up it can show. “g’morning beautiful” ony said as he sat down in front of his plate.

his morning voice always sounded so good. of course your son mirrored his actions, sitting down in front of his plate as well before greeting you. “g’morning momma. you look pretty” you can tell he was lowering his voice, puberty not yet hitting him to give him the same gravely tone as his father. you chuckled, walking over to them to fill their cups with orange juice. “good morning boys. what y’all getting into today.” ony began cutting into his french toasts, pouring syrup on them before moving his knife to cut omari’s up as well. “finna take man man to the park to shoot some hoops wit me.” omari nodded in agreement. “finna show all the girls my skills and they gon be chasing after me. right dad?” ony nearly choked on his spit, grabbing his cup to sip on his orange juice to wash it down.

you didn’t miss his arm nudging your son’s, signaling him to keep quiet. “excuse me? what girls?” omari opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by his father. “it’s nun mama he just talking. right peanut?” ony and omari looked at each other, silently communicating about what to say next. “uhh y-yea. m’just talking momma.” you rolled your eyes at this. they were basically the same person in two different bodies. “whatever boy just stay outta trouble.” you said, pointing your finger at them before walking off into your room. you took your silk robe off before slipping into bed, matching silk nightgown fitting nicely on your body as you scrolled through different shopping sites for some new clothes.

it wasn’t even twenty minutes later when you seen the two troublemakers back in your line of vision, just itching to bother you. you looked up at them from your phone. “what y’all want now?” the both of them instantly putting their hands up in defense. “what i dooo?” they say in unison. you sighed as you gave them a bored expression. they drop their hands and walked closer to you, standing at the side of your bed. “we want you t’come to the park wit us. right little man?” ony looked down at his twin, nodding towards you for him to add on. “mhmm. dad likes- uh i mean i love when you come to the park with us.” you smirk up at your husband. he had his eyes on the ceiling as he tapped his foot on the ground, waiting for you to reply.

“is this something you want or is this something your dad wants?” you knew what ony was trying to do. you absolutely hated going to the park. the gnats and the blazing sun always seeming to bother you when you were trying to relax, but you also couldn’t say no to your baby. he was always so polite and he never asked for much. your husband used that to his advantage, which you highly disliked. you had a plan though. everything comes with a price with you. “because if this is something daddy wants i need him to ask me himself. or else i can’t go because i’d hate to be a burden to one of you.” now omari was also looking up at ony, waiting for him to reply to you. “gon head and get dressed peanut. me and mommy gotta talk.” he said, shifting his eyes from the white ceiling to your brown ones.

“make sure you say ‘please’ dad. be polite.” omari whispered before doing what he was told and going to his room to get ready. after you heard your door close, you watch as ony began to lean down towards you, one arm grabbing on to the headboard while his other one rested on your pillow, right by your head. “what i gotta do for you t’say ‘yes’ mama.” he said, deep voice rumbling in his chest. you pulled out your phone, unlocking it before showing him the screen. it was a purple lingerie set in your cart with a bunch of other different things as well, ranging from toys and handcuffs to different pieces of clothing. “i want you the clear my cart today. since mari’s going to his grandparents next saturday.”

the corner of ony’s mouth raised as he scrolled through your cart, stopping at the pair of black fuzzy handcuffs. you peeked over your screen to see what he was looking at before explaining the use of the item. “you broke the last pair.” your husband nodded his head in realization before standing upright. “tryna give me another kid, huh mama?” you shrugged your shoulders. “hmm maybe.” ony made his way to his nightstand, pulling out his card before tossing it to you on the bed. “gon head and get whatever you want. sexy ass.” he mumbled before walking towards your shared closet to pull out his sneakers. as he looked through the closet you heard three knocks on your door, letting you know your son has arrived from his room.

“come innn” you sing before he made his way in, instantly walking up to his father. he had on his little black tech suit with his slides on his feet and his basketball sneakers in his hand. “what’d she say? did you say please?” he whispered. ony looked at you, smirking as he began to think about the fun the two of you will be having next weekend. “yea little man…she said yea.”

#aot onyankopon #onyankopon x black reader #onyankopon x reader #aot #aot x black reader

[schwarzkatje]

dark!orphan!ellie x nun!reader || part 3

disclaimer: alright, i'm just gonna say that this is filth in its original form aka contains SMUT that is immoral; offensive to religion if you believe and/or practice the religion implied here; it deals with power dynamics between an educational figure and a supposed pupil even though it has no age gap warning since they are basically the same age; it has violence in the form of slapping; it shows both ellie AND reader being dark characters with questionable morals. so if ANY of this triggers you, i prefer you skip for my but mostly your sake. also, not proofread srry

> for part 1 click here || for part 2 click here

"admit it, you act like a brat all the fucking time because you love it when you get punished," never in a million years would you have thought these words would have exited your mouth. nor would you have entertained the idea of breaking your vows because of something so futile like losing your temper.

except what was happening was proof of how delusional your beliefs and how fragile the rope you were walking on had both been. more specifically what was happening underneath you.

you were straddling ellie, the heels of her feet planted on the mattress and her thighs spread to accommodate your hand as it furiously flicked her pulsating clit and the outer zones of her pussy, drenched in white slick.

the other hand was feigning in her task to handcuff ellie's wrists, as it bore no real force nor did it occur to you that she could break free whenever she decided. you simply ignored it, too drunk off of nothing but a ravaging and ravenous hallucination of retribution. ellie had brought an earthquake inside you, causing casualties in the process, namely what you stood for, the light in your eyes and the faith towards god. in a regained moment of lucidity you could have recognised you were turning into the reflection of ellie's sufferings.

and god, wasn't she willing to dance this macabre tango with you and accept the pleasure that was making her delirious. her hips thrusted up, closer to your fingers, imagining they were your pussy humping her own, riding her in this exact same position that naive you had thought to be a cage for ellie.

"don't lie, you're too – fuck yeah – you're way too good at this. do you fuck the other sisters, when you are done tormenting me, mh?" the contorted expression was the perfect mask to hide the trail of jealousy implied in such an insisting enquiry and to distract from the fact that her eyes would have rolled back to her skull hadn't she been more lucid. "do you suck the pastor's cock when he comes to visit, too?"

"you wish. you wish i had so your fantasies about me get more realistic, don't you?" both your middle and ring finger were exploring the outer region of ellie's intoxicatingly warm hole, with such a slow pace that ellie feared you would stop at any time.

only one hour prior to this enactment of pure debauchery you were busing your mind with paperwork, locked in your room, locked away from ellie. you hadn't planned this.

the exact way you hadn't planned to abandon your dummy remnants of resolution as you let ellie enter your quarters. the exact way you hadn't planned to fight for the umpteenth time knowing it would have resulted in ulterior mortification for you. the exact way you hadn't planned to slap her. for the second time. completely throwing away the memory of ellie promising to make you pay for this the first time you had done it. except, ellie too had seemed to have forgotten all about this threat.

"do it again," ellie had been prompting you, daring you to do it, if not for the fact that she had trapped your wrist, actually impeding the fulfilment of what was acquiring the shape of a wish trough and through. her superior strength had proven a perfect feature to yank your entire body closer to her.

your other hand was holding the bible and you reckoned that once you had dropped it, it would have meant bending irremediably, to the point of breaking, in favour of the evil pulling that had been dancing around you throughout your entire life.

the deaf thud of the sacred text hitting the floor had rivalled with the same echoed sound of ellie's cheek getting slapped once again. the capillaries were fast breaking and the warm sensation over the beaten skin sat rather uncomfortable. not so much so as to hinder the devilish grin that ellie had no shame in sporting.

"at least now you're dropping the act of the prissy nun thinking she's better than everyone," her raspy voice had become lower, almost inaudible. but as subtle – and therefore armless – as it may have seemed, its ability to insinuate just as venom does, with blind cruelty, hadn't left space for mercy. "beating me like the other sisters when you faked compassion the moment they did it to me."

the whole context hadn't given you the chance to develop not even a semblance of pity towards ellie. no, it couldn't have found it in the midst of the scorching flames hell that was engulfing your guts. "you deserve every punishment they gave you. my only mistake was thinking you could gain god's forgiveness," you had inched closer to ellie, mimicking, without having full control over it, her tone and setting a twisted game with the loser's destruction as the prize.

"i'm yet to see how you discipline your bad kids," ellie had taken your free hand, the one responsible for the red heat spreading on half of her face, had brought it closer to her chipped lips, "since you're a sick pervert, i imagine you make them do sick shit as well. what is it? spanking? making them kneel down to eat your pussy?" the last bit of her degrading speech had been accompanied by the wet noise of her saliva coating your thumb and your thumb pressing as though it had had life of its own down ellie's tongue.

"want me to show it to you?" it must have been the devil himself that had smelt how deliciously sinfully your soul was accepting to delve into a grave without possibility to repent. everything had been lost.

"fuck– fucking slut knows hot to– oh man—," that was the agonised prize that your fingers entering ellie and pumping with no care in the world inside her pussy had won for you. there was a spot under ellie, a combination of her own cum and the saliva you had spat on your hand because depravity was the puppeteer moving and angling your strings, and you, brainless and unable to feel shame, followed along, being the only purpose of your tainted existence.

you were becoming obsessed with that sight, your pussy had long started to grind on ellie's stomach, lifting more and more of her black shirt, revealing the toned muscles that helped the friction you were ready to sell your soul to encounter.

fitting a third finger inside ellie, you moaned as though you were the one being penetrated. your teeth were munching your lower lip as a manner to deal with the inexplicable pleasure you were both giving and experiencing. like the previous things, you definitely hadn't planned not only to do this, but to enjoy it as much as an animal in heat would have.

ellie decided she had had enough and pulled her hands out of the pathetic cage that was your numb digits, reckoning they would be of more use gripping the soft flesh of your hips and helping you cover her navel with more your intoxicating precum.

"why can't you always be this obedient? why can't you be a good girl?" your now free hand found a new grip in your own hair, all while indulging in ellie's silent desire to hump harder above her. which meant automatically increasing the speed with which your fingers were claiming her fucked out hole.

ellie sobbed at your words, reading them as indirect praise, the affirmation that like a madwoman she had been searching her all life, the affirmation that frustrated her so much it made her into the shadow of herself.

"oh god please– please, forgive me... oh god, ellie– don't stop..." came out corrupted beyond salvation, tainted by your tears of pleasure and the chocked scream of the most mind numbing orgasm you have ever had, fearing your brain would never recover its sanity.

if you had been captured by the image of ellie, fucked out on the bed where you sleep, ellie too had endured a sight of her own that pushed its limit with you coming on her. it happened during the first second of your high, for this reason you understood that ellie had flipped both of you over, so that now she was between your legs, only when your clothed core met ellie's naked one.

she was humping you like you had been humping her, only with more domineering force due to the position you were in. ellie had her own release in mind and nothing else. there was only the heat stuck in her belly finally exploding with spikes making different parts of her body convulse in quick succession.

the ache of your pussy was no match to the fuelling sensation of having ellie take you like this, using you for her own pleasure after you doing the same to her, putting you in a subordinate position to have full control of what to do to you. "e-ellie come, please come," you begged and pathetically tried to confirm what you wanted by holding ellie's ass to deepen her movements.

she, on the other hand, couldn't resist any longer and with a last thrust she halted flush against you, mere centimetres away from your lips, your legs spread impossibly wide with the only intention of providing ellie with the best position to let go of her built up arousal.

her face had somewhat softened, not taking into account the frown on her forehead, her eyebrows knitted in a desperate expression, almost confused by the force with which her orgasm had deprived her of the characteristic vulgarity and witty behaviour.

she looked... vulnerable. and her lips looked so ready to be kissed and maybe even bitten or sucked. but the delirious feeling of the orgasm had wore off completely by then and anger for a further loss in dignity was covering the entirety of your thoughts. you weren't going to show any more of what you had already done.

you pushed her away, shivering in cold once her body left yours and as quickly as your trembling legs permitted you, you sat on the edge of your bed. facing away from ellie who was waiting for your next move.

"get the fuck out of my room," and with that, a deafening noise produced by the slamming of your wooden door was all was left for you to hear.

#ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie x y/n #ellie smut #ellie x you #the last of us smut #dark ellie #ellie williams x you #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie tlou

[ktchie]

'Save a horse ride a cowboy'

Ted x reader

Fluff and smut

♡additional tags: smut, p in v, creampie, reader hates Halloween, Ted in a cowboy costume, a little daddy kink, She/her pronouns.

♤7.4k words

◇ she hates Halloween but maybe Ted can change that?

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Her dreaded day is fast approaching, the leaves scattered around the ground - brown and dry from the autumn.

A lone pumpkin, yellow and bright under the shying sun, glare at her from a stairwell of a random flat. Its triangle eyes, hollow from any emotion and sympathy seemingly bore into her as if telling her to submit to its command and the inevitable event that will happen 2 days from now.

She averted her eyes quickly, sweat dripped down her nape as she fasten her pace.

She hated Halloween more than any day there is, she would rather choose her family's dysfunctional Christmas dinner with 5 grown adults yelling at eachother and 3 crying children than be caught dead wearing a ridiculous costume that would tarnish her reputation and self image.

Contrary to Roy, she doesnt hate Halloween because of the loud children and their questionable attire that varies from appropriate character from a cartoon show or a superhero franchise and to some wierd and super inappropriate costume that would and will get a atleast 50 concern side eyes (like a nun smoking a tobacco or pope Francis with devil horns and blood pouring out of his mouth)

She hated Halloween because of her coworkers (mainly Rebecca, keeley and Higgins) and their insistent for her to wear a bloody costumes every damn year. Rebecca would email her and would ask her what she will be going as on the Halloween, the first few times it would only be an additional note, a passing normal interest at the month of October but as the day goes by and the 3rd week rolls around Rebecca's previous important email that is relevant to the well being of the club was replaced by a 5 to 10 sentence regarding the importance of Halloween and how essential it is, to both to yourself and to others, to wear a costume and to have fun. The email will come to her 2 times in one day, sometimes even 3 and in worst times even 5 (if Rebecca is really desperate or in a sour mood) which will automatically go into her spam folder.

And it is also widely known on Richmond that Keeley Jones goes a little unhinged whenever the month of October rolls by. Her energy seems to crank up to its highest peak when the autumn breeze finally grace her skin. So naturally, Halloween would be a BIG BIG deal for her. Massive deal. A deal the size of Asia and Europe combined. A deal that she, unfortunately, has to deal with too.

Keeley Jones, despite of having a own company of her to run, was quiet frequent on the Afc Richmond building. Always lurking on the hallway with her bright pink shoes and heart melting grin (in the normal month) however, when its October - Keleey's only destination is her own fucking office. She would burst in guns blazing and teeth bared with no knocking whatsoever and ask her (more like yelled at her) what her costume will be on Halloween, in which she would proceed to answer with 'none' which in return would make Keeley Jones fumed with anger and rant about her being no fun while calling her all kinds of creative names under the sun.

The two women was both amusing and irritating at the same time, she had to admit that their desperation to get her to celebrate the nonsense Holliday of the 31st of October was quiet funny in their own way. What is not funny however is Higgins..

Leslie Higgins, a man as gentle as a falling feather and whose laugh could light up the entire room, can actually turn into a 10feet tall demonic entity whenever he heard 'Halloween' and 'no costume' in one sentence. Maybe it has something to do with him being a father of 5 children, getting so used to dressing them up that it was downright ridiculous and criminal that she wouldn't. He would breath heavily like a bull whenever she say no and he would look at her in the eye and speak to her, though very calmly she could very well see the veins throbbing on his forehead, and would explain how important it is for her to dress up and to celebrate the day because if he wouldn't he would no longer talk to her and would rather die than be near her ever again (dramatic, but something tells her he wasn't lying)

So, in a desperate attempt to make him leave and calm down she had agreed, she told Leslie she's going to dress up and that he doesn't have to worry about anything else.

She's still deciding if she's lying or not.

She opened her front door with a sigh, the exhaustion visible on her tired eyes.

She had gone home more later than everyone else because of the heavy work load that she had let pile up over the last few weeks due to her avoidance to go to work and accidently bump into the monster trio.

She sat down on her couch before throwing her shoes somewhere in the room, groaning in pleasure as her back met the soft cushion.

The comfort of her own home enveloping her suddenly, all the tension gone from her shoulder and all the worrying thoughts of her work vanish from her head.

Then her phone rang,

"Goddammit.." she mumbled with a frown, head thrown back and eyes closed. She let it rung for a few second before reaching for it.

"Hello?" Her voice was groggy, a clear indication she was tired.

"Yellow!" Ted's voice were loud on the other side of the phone, awfully cheery despite it being late in the evening. "You takin' a nap? You sounds a lil' raspy, oh no I didnt wake ya up did i?"

A soft smile made its way on her lips, a smile only Ted could make. "Uh no, I was about to though. I just got back from work"

"You just got back?! Don't office hours end at 5?!"

"Got alot of work that held me back, I don't want to let it keep piling up on my desk like a leaning tower of Pisa"

"Darn, you must have a heck of a day" she hummed in confirmation before closing her eyes again. "Have you even had lunch yet? Ya didnt came in the locker room earlier, thought ya had lunch on your own but now I have a suspicion that you didnt eat at all"

She took her time to answer, Ted's voice bringing her comfort and making her a little drowsy. "Didnt eat lunch, im planning to order a pizza later for dinner"

"You sounds really tired, darlin' and listen, I know I ain't exactly the proper man to tell ya this but pizza ain't good for ya" Ted had replied, a hint of worry on his voice. "Pizza is a-okay once a week, but you been eatin' it nonstop these days, im gettin' a lil worried"

"Im not going to suddenly drop dead because of pizza, that will be a humiliating way to go out" she replied with a sigh, scratching her eye. "But sure whatever, ill have a cup of tea instead"

"I still can't believe y'all drink that sewer water willingly, you better eat something good with that garbage drink"

"I don't know what else to eat beside pizza if I'm being honest and I'm too fucking tired to cook anything else" she groaned and adjust herself on the coach. "I'll just have a big breakfast tomorrow"

"Are you tellin' me that tea is only thing you'll be having tonight?" he had stated, putting a harsh emphasis on the word 'tea' as if it was someone he wanted to kill.

"Am I hearin' you right, hun? Not only did you not eat lunch but you are willingly, without a gun to your pretty little head, going to drink that poop water and nothin' else?"

She laugh lightly and she desperately try to ignore the sick sick part of her brain that is telling her she looks like a giggling love sick school girl talking to her crush. "Yes Ted, im going to drink tea and only tea and head to bed. If you and a perfectly fine beverage have some beef going on, leave me out of it. I can't let you persuade me on hating our national drink and risk the Queen catching a whiff of my traitorous blood and shoot me in the head"

"She would do that?" Ted asked, genuinely afraid.

She chuckled "no, Ted. I'm fucking with you" she settled deep on the cushions, fully laying herself down.

"She'll hire a few men to raid my house and make my death look like a suicide"

"Oh well thats smart, but I prefer if you're alive and well"

She laugh a little "do you need something, Ted? Its quiet late, shouldn't you be watching some trashy reality show right now?"

"Oh it can wait, I can have coach beard summarize the love island for me tomorrow" he cheerily replied and some part of her are envious of him being so happy in such a tiring night. "I called ya because I wanna know what you'll be wearin' on Halloween night"

A glass shattered on the background and the small smile plastered on her lips fell as quickly as she can blink.

"Jesus christ, not you too" she groaned lowly, eyes closing not in exhaustion but in irritation.

"What? Just askin' cause im gosh darn curious! I asked boss what you'll be goin' as but she pulled a funny face and told me to ask you myself!"

She cursed Rebecca in her brain.

"What brought this on anyway?" She wiped her face with her hand with a sighed.

"Oh well our resident genius Nathan Shelby told me that Rebecca host the best Halloween party every year and it got me all kinds of exicted! 'Been awhile since I went to one of those, in college I always go to parties y'know? Even nonsense ones, I mostly went for the booze and the free food cause I was hella broke and I ain't got no money to even feed myself" Ted voice went down a little at the end, as if reminiscing the time where he couldn't even find a single nickle on his wallet. "So it got me thinkin' that I should really go all out this year, don't ya think so? My first party ever since I turned 30, I don't even know If I can still chug an entire jug of beer but we'll see"

"Jesus Ted, you sounds like frat boy" she grimaced lightly but a pleasant image of Ted wearing a backwards cup and a stupid grin on his baby face got her all giggly.

Maybe he'll let her do a body shot on him, lick the fucking salt on his neck and take him home to her flat the next minute.

"Oh I was a frat boy, alright! Got nothin' better to do in college than cause trouble and play football - y'know the one with a brown ball that looks like a wallnut? That football - though i didn't get to play much, coach said i was too giddy and too happy, that instead of making the other team annoyed i cheer them up, its crazy even Beardo said so. Speaking of Beard he was a beast back then! You should've seen him! You'll love him, he's always laughing and always loud, got in all kinds of bad troubles but he set himself straight in the end. I'm very proud of him"

She heard their story before from beard, or willis (he had revealed his name after weeks of nonstop questioning and obnoxious teasing) she had learned how they came to be Ted and Beard, how insufferable they were like two giggling school girls that had known eachother since birth. How beard became beard and how much an asshole (his own words, not hers) he was to Ted back then. He had told her the time he was sleeping on his couch, how his back felt funny and ache weirdly every morning, how he could map out Ted's house with his eyes closed and ears shut because of how much time he spent in there. How Henry felt so much like his kid, how he watch him grew up and how he had been there when the kid lost his first tooth or rode his own bike.

He owes Ted alot, he had told her. Said he would lay his down his life for him with no question ask and no hesitation on his mind. That Ted is kindest man he had ever met, that he see no wrong in someone even when its staring at him right in the face, even when his own friend stole the car he had been saving for since high-school and almost wreck it.

"Im sure you are, Ted" she replied, picking a piece of loose thread on her couch pillow. "I uh, I don't think I'll attend the party"

"YOU WHAT?!"

She quickly pull the phone away from her ear with a grimaced."Yeahhhh, I just don't really like partying"

"THATS A LIE! I KNOW YOU'RE LYIN' YOU KNOW WHAT? IM COMING OVER RIGHT NOW-"

"Ted im really tired-"

"And I'll make you more tired, don't you dare lock your door or I'll break it in I swear to god-"

She laughed lightly "are you actually going to come over? This is crazy Ted, and for what? Because I'm not coming to that stupid party?"

"IT AINT STUPID, YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH!" He breathed heavily and she hear a clang of keys followed by a loud thump and a whisper of curse. "-shit, bump my darn knee on the table. This is your fault"

"Im not even there, Ted. That's all on you"

"Yeah but you got me all panicky and annoyed, im comin' over there I'm bringing my left over pasta so you could put a decent meal on your tummy"

God she's so stupidly inlove with him. "Is it your famous spaghetti that you have been bragging about these past few weeks? I heard its good, keleey said its to die for"

"Quit being sweet to me, missy. I'm still annoyed and I'm still comin' over and once I get there we're goin' to eat my pasta and talk about your bad decision okay? Like a proper talk, like a therapy session Dr. Sharon and I been doin' these past few weeks"

"Do I have to cry and tell you my childhood problems and let you figure out how it connects to my annoyance on Halloween?"

"See? Youre already pro at this, just sit pretty and wait for me"

She chuckled lightly and stretched, yawning. "Are you really going to come over?" She had asked "Cause I think I'm about to fall asleep now"

"Ya can fall asleep once I get there and after we ate my pasta, m'kay?" Ted replied followed by a front door closing and being locked.

She blink sleepy as she listen to him "alright, ill wait for you"

"Atta girl" he whispered and she tried to ignore the heat on her stomach as he did so.

Ted arrived with a loud bang, her door hitting the wall so hard she thought it would bust a hole in.

"What the hell?!" She lightly yelled before laughing, watching as Ted pant with a Tupperware of spaghetti on his left hand.

"Sorry, god, wait gotta catch my breath first" he hit his chest a couple of times and cough a little. "Okay, sorry, got excited. But I brought my spaghetti!" He raised it with a large grin, dimple and teeth out and oh she wish  she could kiss him right there.

"I see that you did" she leaned on the marble bar of her kitchen as she watched him walked over to her, eyes ranking up and down.

God he looks good, how dare he?

"And I see that you're still sleepy" he grinned and put the tupper wear down beside her, looking down to meet her eyes.

"Gonna put you to bed, after our talk m'kay?"

"That a promise?" She blinked at him flirty, a sweet smirk playing on her lips.

"N-not that kind of put to bed" Ted looks panicky, flushing pink on her gaze.

"Bummer" she mumbled with a pout before straightening her posture. "Come help me with plates, let's talk while we eat yeah?"

"Y-yeah"

Okay, maybe her drowsiness is making her a little more bolder, more braver, more yearnful for what she wants. Makes her want to capture his very being on her palm and not let go until the sky fall from above.

She wouldn't flirt with him on a good day, wouldn't even smirk at him if she can help it. He's a recently divorced man who has eyes as sad as whimpering puppy, looking anything and anywhere with a kind of desperation you would only find on someone so despondent and so so alone. He wasn't available on the public market, wasn't meant to be courted when she knows his heart still depict someone's else image, she knows he loves Michelle, miss her everyday, and she knows deep on her bones she could not barge in roses in her mouth and poems on her hand and offer to take him out on a date he would never forget.

"Why is the spaghetti cold?" She asked with a frown as she took a bite, water on her side instead of wine because Ted insisted that she should drink something normal for once.

"Spgahti ish dbest win clmpd" she frowned and watched him hold a finger up before swallowing his food. "Sorry. i said spaghetti is the best when its cold"

"Well its not bad" she shrugged as she ate it. "So how's your day? Heard Roy got mad on Jaime again, per usual of course, but this time he was about to tear his throat out"

Ted nod his head "yes, yes, ill tell ya all 'bout it later but first were gotta talk about the Halloween party"

She groaned loudly, throwing her head back. "Must we do this? Really?"

"Yes, really" he wiped his mouth with a napkin before taking a sip on his water, she could not help but feel like he was about to question her every actions and decision as if she was placed under government surveillance.

"Its really not a big deal, teddy. I just don't like going to parties"

"No, no, I heard ya' goin' to bunch of parties before, specially new-year. You're lyin' to me"

Goddamit.

"Fine" she raised her hand in defense, tired. "Seems like I can't lie my way around here so ill give it to you straight.." she took a deep breath, dreading it. Ted watched her closely, brown eyes boaring into her own and if she wasn't sleepy and wasn't bothered by the topic she would mention how beautiful they are.

"I don't like dressing up"

He slam his fork down. "THATS ABSURD!"

"Wow I didnt expect that big of a reaction at all"

"You tellin' me, someone, someone I gosh darn know! Dont like wearin' costume on Halloween? Thats like- thats like worse than murder!"

Her eyes widen "okay thats a little-"

Ted nod calming down a little "yeah yeah, I know, a little dramatic. It ain't worse than murder at all, I was just-" he poke his heart. "Just lost in the moment AND ITS YOUR FAULT!" he pointed at her

She laughed lightly.

"It wasn't even that bad! I just don't like doing it, its perfectly fine"

"No it ain't! I have never met someone like ya before! People always like dressing up, doesn't matter how bad it looks, Halloween is for everyone, its the only day its legal to pretend you're someone else" he's slowly losing his mind.

"I get that and I fully support that but its just not for me" she explained, finally finished with her spaghetti and she had to admit it was pretty fucking good. "I have to say, you're a good cook i didnt expect-"

"NO! FORGET ABOUT THE GOSH DARN SPAGHETTI!" He pointed at her face

"Youre goin' to the party even if i have to drag your bum in there"

She whistled, eyebrows up and eyes a little wide. "Oh my, I didnt know you're into that"

"Shut it" he stated but the blush on his cheeks are apprent.

"Youre goin' that's final, wrapped your self in a toilet paper if ya don't got any costume, you just have to be there"

"You literally cannot make me" she shrugged, leaning on the chair with arms crossed. "Im not going to that party even if you have to put a gun to my head, I don't like Halloween, I don't like costumes and I dojt like candies"

"YOU DONT LIKE CANDIES-" he stop himself before taking a deep breath, controlling his emotions. "Its like, its like I don't know you at all"

"Ted we've been friends for like 2 years, of course you don't"

Ted shook his head, distraught. As if the revelation of her dislike for the holiday might send him spiral to a pit of hopelessness. "If you ain't goin, im not goin'"

Her eyes widen. "What the hell are you on about?"

He looked up to her, eyes hard, determined. Like a soldier off to war.

'This is ridiculous' she had thought

"I said, im not goin if ya ain't goin"

"Y-you can't do that! The others would kill me!" She yelled, panic settling deep on her guts. Rebecca would literally drag her corpse on the road, yelling shame! Shame! Shame! While the folks of richmond would throw shit at her face. "Ted, they'll do worse than kill me. Keleey would use my skin to make herself a new bag, you can't do this to me"

"Oh I will" he pointed, shoulder squared. "I will blame it all on ya', if they ask why I ain't goin' ill tell them it was you"

"This is crazy! Why are you even doing this?!" She asked him, wanting to laugh and wanting to cry on how fucking mental it is.

"Why do I even- why do you even want me there?!"

"BECAUSE!"

"THATS NOT A PROPER REASON, IDIOT!" she yelled before groaning, throwing her hands up. "FINE! FINE! IM GOING! GOD!"

He then grinned, big, wide and bright that she had to squint. She hates the part of her brain that told her that suffering on the party is all worth it if she could see him like this for a second , smiling just for her. Its crazy how he can make everything more livable just by existing.

"I know ya would come around"

She scoffed "like you just didn't threaten me"

"Had to do it" he shrugged, still smiling, still joyous. It makes her heart melt.

"Whatever" she looked away when he met her eyes, blush slithering on her cheeks. "Im going only because of you, you hear?"

It was his turn to blush, dimple deep on his cheek and eyes glimmering. "Yes ma'am" he looked down, suddenly shy. "And I'm only goin cause of ya' either"

She gave him a sideways glance, suspicious. "You sure its not for the beer?"

"Nah, just for ya" she suddenly had a sick sick disgusting urge to giggle. "Ya make everythin' better, not the booze"

God she's so inlove with him she would carved a pumpkin right now if he ask.

___________

She went as ghostface.

Tight black shirt and a sweatpants with fake blood (ketchup) splattered on her white shoes and arms. Its a simple costume that required a little amount of effort and money. And she had to admit, she look hot as fuck, she just wished the security guard up front had let her kept the kitchen knife but no matter how many pleading and yelling of 'its not real!' The man wouldn't budge.

She stood next to Rebecca whose dress could send any man with eyes falling on the floor. She went as maleficent, with horns, high cheek bones and everything that made her almost fall inlove with her.

"Hows the drink?" She had asked, smiling at her so pleasantly ever since she had got there.

"Terrible"

"Oh?" She blinked, confused. Blood red lips almost scowling. "Was it too strong?"

"Not strong enough" she replied with a teasing smile that made her boss rolled her eyes.

"Of course you would say that, the one person here that wants to go home"

"Thats not true" she laughed, putting her glass down before leaning on the wall. Watching as the other dance on the floor, some giggling and some stumbling.

"Im actually enjoying myself"

"I doubt it" Rebecca raised her perfectly drawn brow before a slow teasing grin slithered its way on her red lips. "Ted isn't here yet"

She ignored the heat on her ears

"Are you implying i can only enjoy this party if Ted is here? That he's the sunlight on my dark days? Because if so then you're are one hundred percent corre- holy fucking shit, get out of the way" she quickly, as fast can blink, lightly push Rebecca off the view of the entrance door.

"Goodness!"

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph is that Ted fucking Lasso dressed up as a cowboy?" Keeley -dressed as katniss everdeen - strolled in like a ghost in the night, suddenly popping up, a cola on her hand.

"I think I'm about to faint" y/n confessed with a heavy breath while clutching her heart. Rebecca giggled next to her, gently holding her arm.

"Look at him walking around like he doesn't have half of the woman's eyes on him, he's killing me, he's fucking killing me"

"Look at that ass, oh that is criminal" keeley stated with a whistled, watching as Ted walked around, greeting people with a laugh and a smile.

"Is that a whip?" Y/n squinted her eyes and oh  fuck it is, it is a whip, right on the holster on his hips - she swallowed thickly, the familiar heat of desperation drawing a line on her stomach.

"I have to say, im impres-"

"Im going to ride him"

Keeley choked on her drink

"excuse you?" Rebecca's head whipped around to look at y/n's face, eyes blown wide.

"Forget about the horse, im going to ride Ted Lasso tonight"

"Y-youre going to hook up with him?" Keleey asked her carefully a grin on her lips. "Tonight? Like actually tonight?"

"If he let's me" she answered though her eyes still hangs heavy on Ted Lasso who is currently standing across the room with Beard beside him dressed as Alan from the hangover.

"So you're going to confessed?" Rebecca then asked "Because this is your opportunity to tell him what you really feel, this is your time"

Ted's eyes suddenly met hers and suddenly - everything stops.

The chatter, the song, even the loud flash of cameras and the yells of the drunk. As if one look from him can make the whole world stop turning, made the time crumbles and lay dust beneath his foot.

She could hear her breathing, slow and full and deep. As if he's taking it away, feeding from her own soul. For a minute she would let him, let him take it all, place her heart on his palm and make him promise to keep it close, pour her soul onto his mouth and kiss it to seal its lock, reduce herself into nothing but atoms and dust and particles on the air and be kept in a jar, forever still, forever there, forever on him.

Ted grinned so beautifully she could cry, he gave her a wave, almost shy, almost adoring before he took his first step towards her. Every foot the same rhythm as her heart, for a second she believed in soul mate and for a second she had hoped it was him.

"Hes coming this way!" Keeley squealed lowly, turning away from him and walked towards the bar. "Im going to pretend I dont know you so you can jump on him, okay?"

"Im going to, uh, going over there! Right there to Higgins" she scrambled to lift off her gown and run lightly towards her assistance who's currently dressed as a Frankenstein.

Ted walked towards her, apologizing to the people he had bumped on his way. She doesnt think she can love anyone like this dork..

He wore a flannel, blue and black and rolled over his thick forearms. It was tucked inside his jeans, scandalously tight on his muscled thighs. There's a leather belt slithered between it, thick with a silver buckled on its front. A whip and a fake gun hang on each side.

There's a red bandana hanging on his neck and brown cowboy hat place upon his head.

Ted lasso looks sinful underneath the beating lights and shadows, like a proper seduction on a night, dress in pure temptation with a smile that held thousand of promise.

"Howdy, ma'am" he tipped his hat on her, winking. "Never have i thought I would see a lady as fine as you are"

She pray to get she wouldn't get a nosebleed. "Why thank you, cowboy" she push her mask down, hiding the grin and the blush on her cheek.

"I must say, you look good enough to eat-" she approached him a little, standing close. "-ya wouldn't mind a little bite would ya', sweetheart?"

Ted swallowed "n-not at all"

"What got you stuttering now, little lamb?" She went up to his face, titling her head a little, as if taunting him. "Youre not scared are you?"

Thank fuck for the mask, if it wasn't for it she would be on the floor right now, confidence and determination gone and replaced by the undying need to have him and never let go.

"you're really into your character arent ya?" Ted grinned at you.

"Was i?" She peered up to him with smirk, removing the mask off her face. "What are you going to do about it, cowboy? Lasso me away?"

Ted's dimple become apparent "Might have to if ya keep this up" he titled his head "Whisk you away out'a 'ere and show you what happens to a pretty little naughty thing like ya'"

Her breath hitched, body hot and guts swirlin. Her fingers itched to yank his collar and kiss him stupid.

"Yeah?" She uttered breathlessly

Ted nod his head, gaze stuck on her mouth. "Mhm, but ya would like that wouldn't ya? Have ya with me, bound and tied. Bet you would love it, a minx like ya'"

"Oh I would love it alright" she looked up to him with half lided eyes, almost drank on the words spouting of his mouth.

"Specially so because its you"

Ted had blushed then, red and harsh even under the thousand beating lights. He chuckled, the magic that reside between them now gone, replaced by the silence that you could only get when everything is light and adoring and filled with colors of love and feelings too big for your own heart.

"I uh," he looked down "im glad ya' came, thought ya wouldn't"

She chuckled and took a step back, away from his space.

"I told you I would didn't I?"

"Yeah I know but I thought you're just foolin' me, get me to shut up"

"Ted i would literally pay you my entire savings just to NEVER shut up" she smiled when he shyly looked away. "You know how much I enjoy you talk, even about things I do not understand like a 100 years old pop culture reference from an ancient movie"

"Im not that old" he grumbled rather adorably and it took everything on her not to pinch his cheeks.

"Yeah? Bet your hips would pop if I took you to the dance floor right now"

He stared at her for a couple of seconds before a grin erupted on his lips. "Is this your way of asking me to dance?"

She sighed "depends, are you going to say yes?"

"You gosh darn right I will!" He had replied with a big smile before interrupting it with a pointed finger " 'n not cause of your allegations about my perfectly fine hips, its cause I want to dance with ya'"

"I know that ted" she laughed, grabbing his hand suddenly, warm and big and rough. She likes it. "Now show me what you got, cowboy. You're too fine not to show off on the dance floor"

_________

They stumbled around the flat, kissing heatedly - all teeth and tounge and the pain of desperation to consume.

"Fuck, you're killing me" she grumbled, eyes half lided and lips red and wet. Her fingers worked in frenzy to take off every clothing he wore, buttons flying and his hat somewhere on the floor.

"Did I mention how good you look tonight?" She nose his neck, licking a stripe that had him shivering. "Did I, darling?"

"N-no, oh god" he moaned when her palm squeezed the outline of his cock on his tight jeans.

She smirked and bit him lightly on the skin between his shoulder.

"Well you are, my love." She whispered, not even bothering to give a flying fuck on the nickname she had accidently slip out. "Absolutely handsome, couldn't keep my fucking eyes off you you know that?"

Ted looked half drunk across you, hair a mess and neck covered with bites. "I-i didnt know ya find, ngh- I didnt know ya find me t-that attractive, sweetheart"

"All the flirting wasn't enough then?" She questioned, pushing him to fall on the couch and he did, easily, with a grunt and a look of anticipation and dark lust.

"Looks like you're more of a visual learner eh?" She sat on his lap, grinding her heated core on his hard cock - wet with slick and thick between her thighs. "What do you say, cowboy? Gonna let me ride you till sunrise?"

Ted moaned loudly, hands gripping her waist and nails digging on the flesh. "Y-yes please"

She smiled, hands slithering on his hair before pulling it to bare his throat to her like a submissive prey would. "Dont worry, darling. I'll take good care of you"

In one move his cock was inside her, thick and splitting her open. A gush of slick drip down her thighs and Ted moaned loudly, not a care in the world. "God.." he groaned, throwing his head back. "Feels good, fuck, ya feel so fuckin' good baby doll"

The nickname send shiver down her spine, a tingling of heat and cold.

"Squeezin' my damn cock so fuckin' tight" he licked his lips before grinning up to her, eyes lazy, dark and blown wide. "Ya sure this cunt ain't made f'me, dollface? You takin' my cock like champ"

She moaned on his filthy words, tounge frozen and chest tight. She could feel him inside her, deep on her guts, moving and rearranging anything it can reach.

"Yeah-fuck, look at ya'" he strike a palm on her ass, loud. "Beautiful thing sat on my cock, s'yours yeah?" He took her mouth, gifting her a wet kiss, pulling her bottom lip. "How ya feelin', bunny? Feels good?"

"Y-yes, feels-fuck, feel so full" she arched her back as Ted's hand went to her waist, big palm squeezing it thigh with his thumb caressing the skin he can reach.

"Cock's too big, ain't it?" He questioned, a lazy smirk on his lips. "Fitting into your tiny cunt just right though yeah? Look at it" his other hand went to her soaking pussy, caressing her folds before sucking it clean with a hummed. "Swallowing me whole easily, what a good fuckin' girl ya are. Makes me wonder if ya can take my cock on the back, fill ya up even more what'd ya say?"

He pulled her close and she gasped as his dick pierced her impossibly more deeper. "Talk to me, darlin'" he nose her neck, breathing warmth on her throat. "Gonna let your man tear ya' up from behind? Shoot my cum inside ya till you're a drippy mess hm?"

Goodness his fucking mouth..' she had thought, shivering.

"Bet ya would huh?" He bit a skin on her neck before sucking it harshly, drawing a bruise and a shiver on her spine. She moaned when his hands went to her ribs, big they were and rough, a hands of a man who could toss her around. "Bet ya would even beg for it, ya naughty thing"

His fingers went to her shoulder, brushing it gently with heavy breath and heated eyes. Tracing the collar bone and the line between her breast before his fingers reach her perked up nipple - making her shudder. "Beautiful" he whispered lowly, as if it was a secret meant only for himself. His hand envelop her whole breast, playing with it as his cock speared her in a pace that had her toes curling. She could feel every vein inside her, every thrust had her cunt quivering and gushing, painting his pelvis with her own slick.

His mouth went to her nipple, hot and smooth and soaking. His tounge swirled and his lashes flutter as he closed his eyes, the hand on her ribs pulled her much closer than before and Ted sucked at her nipple like a man starve, groaning.

She bounce on his cock, moaning wantonly from the fullness between her thighs, she swore she could feel his dick on her throat, so deep and so thick it was splitting her open, making a room inside her just for his cock and his alone.

"Thats it" he remove his mouth off her nipple with a pop before throwing his head back. "Thats it, dollface. Take my cock like ya own it" he clenched his jaw, the litte hair dangling on his forehead moving at every movement she makes, long eyelashes closed and mouth slightly agape.

She moaned when his hips started moving, meeting her thrust halfway through, it hit the hidden spot inside her that made her want to scream and sob and stop at the same time. "T-ted, Ted, Ted!" She repeated his name like a mantra, like a broken prayer of a desperate man, filled with adoration and lust and yearning for something she doesnt even know what.

He groaned loudly, almost like a growl of a feral man before he sat up more straighter, grabbing her closely, impossibly close, pushing her head on his neck and hugging her tight on his own sweaty body that it render immovable and writhing in pleasure. "Gonna fuck your pretty little pussy just like this yeah?" He stated in her ear before his hips started moving much faster, more harder, hitting her spot over and over again that every thrust had her gushing and moaning.

"Yeah, fuck yeah, t-take it, take it, take it" he repeated in her ear, thick thick cock spearing her mercilessly until she was sobbing and drawing her nails on his shoulder.

"S'too m-much!" She complained and yet she widen her thighs further more, savoring the feeling of his wet cock. "T-teddyy" she whined, pushing her face into his neck as tears fell from her eyes.

"What got ya cryin' now, sweetheart?" He chuckled breathlessly, hips still moving, dick still splitting her open. His hand went to her nape, grabbing it with his whole palm before pulling it to glimpse at her fucked out face. "Even with tears drippin' on your cheeks you're fuckin' beautiful" he pecked her lips sweetly before drawing back, a grin on his lips. "'S my cock too much for ya' dolly? Daddy hurtin' your cunt hm? Do-dont worry.." his hand tighten. "Gonna give ya my cum to make it all better"

That was the last straw of it all, snapping everything in place, cogs turning and limbs rigid.

She came on his cock with a cry and a thousand tears on her cheeks, back arching and quivering that Ted had to hold him more tighter. She could feel her cum dripping down his cock, soaking him wet. Ted moaned in return, loving the filth of it all, basking on it even - he watched her face relax and brows furrowed, letting herself be used even when her cunt throbs.

"T-teddy" she whined lowly, biting her lip. Her hand went to his arm, gripping it tight. "C-cant, m'too, im too s-sensitive!"

"Just a lil' mo-more" he groaned, holding her waist now, lifting her up and bringing her down, completely using her like she was only a hole for him, a cum dump. "Ya can take it, d-darlin'. M'sure ya could yeah? Jus-just a little, be good f'me"

She squealed and she sob, soaping cunt loud at every thrust. He was breathing heavily then, sweating like a dog in heat as he split her. Thighs sticky and cunt still dripping.

"Fu-fuck, bunny" he groaned, grinding her on his throbbing cock. "M' close, f-fuck, so fuckin' close" he whined, head thumping on her chest, breath warming her breast. "G-gonna cum, can-can i, can I fill ya' up? Pleas-please please, oh god.." the sound he had made was between a sob and a moan, it made her guts coil, made her cheeks hot.

"Mhm hm" she nod her head quickly, pulling him close to him. "P-please cum inside me, t-ted pl-please" tears drip down her cheeks, cunt swollen and clit throbbing with need. Hes stretching her wide, touching every corner of her inside.

"Y-yeah, thank you dolly, fu-fuck thank you" he groaned and push his hips much faster, fucking her silly with his cock. "Gonna fill your pretty pussy up nice and good yeah?" He was breathing heavily, heaving chest and throbbing cock. She can feel it more on her guts, a dull bump on her tummy at every movement he makes."G-gonna have ya drippin' f'me, use ya' like a fuckin hole and dump my spunk into your pussy yeah? Fuck!" He gave a harsh thrust "Oh god, sweetheart oh fuck i love you"

Her eyes widen.

"Love ya' so fuckin' much" he growled, pulling her onto his lap before he lift his hips up and gave her a single harsh thrust. "Fucking take it, take it, take it" he repeated in her ear as his cum came flooding in, hot and so so many.

"Yeah, s-shit look'a that. 'S too much its dripping out'a ya'" he groaned, thrusting slower then, riding his high.

"Ya did such a good job" he sighed as he had stopped, pulling out of her with a low moan and a shudder.

He kissed her forehead with a lazy grin.  "Lets get ya clean-"

"You said you love me" she interrupted him with a wide eyes and a blushing cheeks.

"What?"

"You told me you love me" she repeated, as if in trance. "You said you love me so much earlier, you repeated it twice, Ted"

Ted sat frozen underneath her before looking away, suddenly so so sad.

"I-yeah, okay, no point in-in denying i supposed" his brows furrowed and his eyes had turned into that softer gentler look that had her heart always aching. "I love ya..for, for a long time. Don't know how it started and I'm quiet upset im confessing to ya' like this but what do I do" he chuckled but the humour on it was gone. He met her eyes, earnest, adoring, the same gaze he had used to looked at her for as long as she can remember, a gaze she couldn't put a finger on back then but could finally see it as clearly as day now.

"I love you, im inlove with you, stu-stupidly so and I get it if ya don't feel the same, its okay and I can do whatever ya like me too after this, I can walk away or I can pretend to never know ya at-"

She kissed him.

She kissed him like he would loose him.

Like any second he would turn into ashes, flew in the air and never to be return again. Tasted him like It would be her last to see him for a very long time, as if he's off to war with death hanging like a noose on his head, ready to pull and ready to kill.

"I love you too, you fucking idiot" she grinned up to him, eyes wet and cheeks hurting.

"I love you, Ted. I fucking love you"

Ted smiled, big and bright despite the darkness of the night. He looks beautiful with happiness lingering on his eyes.

"Can I kiss you?"

"Yes, fuck yes"

Their lips met and yeah..yeah maybe Halloween wasn't too bad.

Ted smiled on her lips and it tasted sickeningly sweet as a melted sugar.

Yep, it definitely wasn't bad at all.

#ted lasso #jason sudeikis #ted lasso x reader #fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso smut #ted lasso one shot #ted lasso imagine #cowboy #holloween

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Ann Sothern (A Letter to 3 Wives, The Blue Gardenia)_ Another unsung comedienne of the 30s and 40s, not enough people know about Ann Sothern. She was, along with her bestie Lucille Ball, originally a Goldwyn gal, but was soon a featured star in pictures. She even headlined a series of films, the Maisie movies. And though she was known for her comedies, but I fell in love with her after her dramatic role in A Letter to 3 Wives. I also absolutely love her in the noir murder mystery The Blue Gardenia. She was absolutely stunning, and I am always excited to find a movie of hers to watch. She's high on my list of "Why don't more people talk about her?" actresses

Ingrid Bergman (Gaslight, Casablanca, Notorious)—Where do I even begin with Ingrid Bergman? I fell in love with her with her astounding performance in the 1956 version of Anastasia -- the best Anastasia movie in large part due to her wonderful and touching performance. She's got this amazing, fascinating intensity to her in whatever role she's in. She commits 100%, and she's got this light in whatever she's in that's stunning. She's utterly convincing no matter what she plays, from an amnesiac possible lost princess, from a nun, from a woman taking her revenge on the town that wronged her, to light romantic comedy. She's never missed in any role I've seen her in! Also she became quite the MILF.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Ann Sothern:

She was so beautiful and had great comedic timing!

Ingrid Bergman:

God, she's fantastic. She's both beautiful and a compelling actor who's more than capable of putting the whole movie on her shoulders if necessary. It's worth noting that while her beauty is conventional, she was seen as refreshingly "natural" with more eyebrows and less makeup than many other leading ladies of the time. She's well known for her role in Casablanca, but in Notorious, Spellbound, (both available on archive.org ) and Gaslight (1944) she shows how immensely capable she is.

I mean...she's Ingrid Bergman. I feel like that should be enough, you know? She's physically beautiful (her eyes!) but watching her is like a transcendent experience. Her voice, her expressions... beautiful woman, beautiful actor.

I'm a gay man but even I understand her appeal. I'll watch any movie she shows up in. Gorgeous woman.

Just try and watch her movies without sighing wistfully, then get back to me!

Choosing 1-3 movies where Bergman was at her hottest was agony because, of course, she was always at her hottest. Not just because she was beautiful but because she was absolutely willing to go up against the bs women in Hollywood were constantly dealing with. When exiled from Hollywood for having an affair with Roberto Rossellini, not only did she refuse to apologize at any point, but she went on to say that Hollywood's films had grown stagnant and boring to her. Though she said she appreciated her time working there, she wanted to try new, different techniques (hence starring in Italian neorealist films, working on stage, and acting under directors like Ingmar Bergman). She was not afraid to chase after her artistic ideals and go outside the box regardless of what society had to say about it. From her first movie to her last she killed it. There's so much more to say about Bergman's career and life, but I've already written five million words so I'll stop at that.

One of the most incredible actors I've ever seen on film. Her facial expressions are so intricate and poignant that I cannot look away. I'm either ace or straight, but damn she made me question that.

SEVEN TIME OSCAR NOMINEE QUEEN. Girl also PULLED, having affairs with famously hot men Gary Cooper and Gregory Peck IN ADDITION to her three marriages...sexy

She has a very natural beauty to her, and she's from Sweden!

She left Hollywood and only became more beautiful. You could drown in her eyes. She can look innocent AND like she's seen it all. She is effortlessly elegant. She's played Joan of Arc (automatically hot) AND was in the movie that coined gaslight as a term. And where would we be without that!

She was known for being a breath of fresh air on the movie scene at the time with her windswept hair, dreamy smile and soulful eyes. I have loved her in every movie I have seen her in - she was just magnetic!

Where do I even start. There's a neighborly quality to this beautiful, talented actress that makes her hotness one of a kind and her looks impossible to forget

With a career spanning five decades, Bergman is often regarded as one of the most influential screen figures in cinematic history. Known for her naturally luminous beauty, Bergman spoke five languages – Swedish, English, German, Italian and French – and acted in each.

She's hot, don't get me wrong, but I've always found her very approachable, like she could easily be a member of my friend group

A lot of the time hotness in a movie is just about words and framing. "You're the most beautiful person here" [vaseline lens] well I sure hope so because that's who you cast. But when, in Casablanca, they call Ingrid Bergman the most beautiful woman in the world... they were not fucking lying. And such a dynamite actor too!! I'd only seen Casablanca up until last year, and there she's confined to love interest. But in Gaslight she was maybe one of the most incredible actors I've ever seen!!!! Goddddd shes so fucking hot and cool.

#ingrid bergman #ann sothern #hotvintagepoll #fuck that old woman #ladies 2

[eviebane]

you guys loved my part 1 and 2 of Badly Explained Good Omens so i'm just going to keep doing it. fight me. (disclaimer: this series will be written when i'm either sleep deprived, caffeine overloaded, or drunk. feel free to speculate which one it is this time)

right so Season 1 of Good Omens is basically, these two man-shaped creatures who definitely don't want to lick each other's faces get together in a park full of spies & snitches so they can talk without raising suspicion (foolproof plan, obviously). it's basically a romeo and juliet thing, except romeo is an angelic bookseller hoarder and juilet is a snake demon who will make u re-evaluate your sexual orientation. and possibly give you gender envy. your average stuff, right.

so gender envy boy (Crowley) goes, hey, my lot made me uber the devil's son to an american diplomat the other night, and the angel (Aziraphale) goes, if you're going to destroy the world via evil baby style, can you lot at least not make it into some cheesy american movie. at least make it something actually cool. anyway so they're chatting about the end of the world, as you do, and Crowley goes y'know, Hell is gonna fuck the whole world up and Azi goes Nah, we beat your dumbarses before, we will again, and Crowley goes ANYWAY if everyone gets slaughtered, guess what? no more food, no more music. your life is gonna be boring af

so they go on a little date and Crowley keeps winding him up about how boring shit's gonna be when all the humans have been murdered in the ethereal/occult purge, and Aziraphale finally goes Yeah OK, but you realise I can't do shit about it right? like it's God's will and Crowley goes Nah nah nah, look. Look. Right. so I gotta look after this devil child for a few years and use my sexy nanny vibes to make sure he's evil. why don't YOU also infiltrate this devil child's household and teach him not to kill snails? it'll be like cosmic balance. yin/yang. the kid will be a normal little shit like most preteen boys, rather than starting apocalypses little shit.

Aziraphale is so captivated by his slutty charm and sparkling eyes that he agrees.

so they stalk the kid, dress up like old welsh gardeners and dominatrix nanny to teach him to love slugs and crush his foes under his boot. surprisingly, the kid is relatively normal. although he hates dinosaurs, so that's obviously concerning. Crowley suggests cold blooded murder of the child but Aziraphale's like Nah why don't i cosplay Fell the Marvellous again at his birthday party and Crowley goes why the fuck do I love this loser

anyway so as it turns out, the nuns that Crowley uber'd this baby to 11 years ago ended up with the wrong parents. The best friends husbands roadtrip to go fuck up the nuns, but actually Crowley's maggot colleague (no thats not an insult) burned the nunnery down and it's now a paintball arena, where currently a bunch of repressed office workers are shooting each other. there's a noteworthy bit where the husbands get hit with a paintball, Crowley becomes a naga (except reverse the top and bottom bits. Yeah it's terrifying) just to make a dude shit himself, then Aziraphale puppy dog eyes Crowley to get the stain off his coat because it ruins his vibes and that's not kool.

Crowley tries to make out with Aziraphale against the wall but then forgets the kissing part, then he bippity-boppity-boos a surviving ex-nun so they can interrogate her. the whole trip is pretty useless and it ends up becoming just them two flirt-fighting for a day. Oh also Crowley runs over a witch, but it's fine because she's an American

As it turns out, the witch left a book behind in Crowley's car and Aziraphale yoinks it like the book kleptomaniac he is, then binges it like your new favourite 150k fanfic

Crowley literally climbs the walls in boredom (unfortunately got cut, but still happened in my mind). They eventually meet up in Secret Rendezvous Spot #3 where they have a lover's quarrel and Crowley slut walks off

Next thing ya know, there's a witchfinder (yea don't worry too much about him) at Aziraphale's door and he tries to exorcise him via a prophecy book, a cute little retro desk bell and a fuckin lighter. Anyway.

So Aziraphale was trying to talk to God before the nutbag showed up via a magic angel circle that does a little star trek hologram. He ends up talking to God's secretary (not the fun kind) and he's like, Yeah no God's having PTO rn. Also you're being drafted into war 'cause shit's about to go down and Aziraphale's like Ahhh ok cool neat. let me just like, do a bit of tidying up first, oh and I have to pick up the dry cleaning, um then I need to make dinner, so anyway i'll be there soon. totally. yup. so excited to go fight hot sexy with pretty yellow eyes- bad, evil demons.

Aziraphale accidently cha cha slides into the circle and his body crumbles (same) and he pops into Heaven without a body. He gets yelled at by Anderson for not having a body or that sword he gave the humans 6000 years ago, and honestly I can't help but think it's Heaven's fault for not stock taking enough

Aziraphale's like Haha yeah Anderson I'm not fighting no war, I have a hot sexy yellow-eyed pretty beautiful smart funny demon to ki- uuuh, I mean, I'm a pacifist now, BYE and he yeets himself back to the mortal plane via a floaty picture of Earth

He finds Crowley going on a bender and doodling A+C=<3 on the pub table. Aziraphale's like Right Crowley get your shit together, we got an Apocalypse to stop in Tadfield

Crowley ends up getting trapped in London via a giant doom circle of fire that he designed, but he's like Ah nah fuck it, my Bentley can take it and it DOES. I mean it does explode, but only after it gets him to Tadfield. What a stellar car. 10/10

The husbands try to murder the child with a fireworks gun, that fails, then they watch the child encourage his friends to insult three cosmic beings to death. Yah it actually works, too.

The child then insults Lucifer into the void, and that's it, ba ba boom, apocalypse averted. The husbands do what they do best; get crunk.

Heaven & Hell kidnap the husbands and tries to give them their Worst Employee of the Century rewards, but the husbands survive it via clever trickery and Being A Little Shit, and they ride off into the sunset and confess their love at the Ritz via affectionate insults

the end

season 2

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #goodomens #gomens #badly explained good omens #crack #for the record i have written an entire (yes all 4 books) summary of the hunger games if anyone wants it. its as appalling as this is

[via-rant]

Some opinions on PJO/HOO!

. First and foremost, The Lost Hero is a great fucking book! Y'all just don't like it cause Percy's not in it.

. Also Percy shouldn't have been one of the main characters, neither should Annabeth! The other two should've been Nico and Reyna! Who should've gone down to Tartarus? Leo and Piper! There could've been a lot more depth to Leo's powers and Leo's and Pipers relationship could've been a hell of a lot more expanded on! Platonically, of course.

. I hate people who say "Piper was so useless!" None of it could've happened without her bitch! Leo and Jason would've killed each other at Medeas place! This woman put Gaea back to fucking sleep I don't wanna hear it!

. Hazel isn't 'uwu' 'couldn't hurt a fly' SHE KILLED A GIANT BY HERSELF AT 13 AND CURSED OUT NUNS!! SHUT UP!!!

. SAME WITH FRANK!!! HE'S NOT ALL INNOCENT EITHER!! HE'S A DAM PRAETER FOR A FUCKING REASON!!! Also so many people are like "Leo insults him so much!!" Honey they insult each other! They argued!! Arguing goes BOTH WAYS!! Also character development happens people!! They got better!! Stop it!!

. I've only seen like 1 or 2 people say this but Lester is NOT a P3do! "He's 4000+ years old-" yeah in a 17 year olds body. He has actual hormones and Mortal shit now, having a small crush on Reyna does not make him a fucking p3do!! You wanna talk about a real p3do let's talk about Luke!! Or how Poseidon got Sally pregnant at 19???

. Adding to that yes Calyso is a p3do!! It's not the same as Lester!! Lester was thrown right into this teenage body, as a Mortal, he didn't have any experience with knowing how to do ANYTHING Mortal!! Calypso had thousands of years of maturing!! She's physically 15 but mentally she's like 10,000+!! Even if you skip that part, Caleo is still toxic! They fight all the fucking time!! If you think that's healthy, you've been brainwashed by the herteronormative agenda!!

. All the Gods are shit except Hestia, Apollo, Artemis and Hades!

. Leo is the main main character period!! Gaea went after him at 8 because he was destined to destroy her and she knew that!! Hera herself babysat him to train him for it!! If that's not main character energy, idk what is!!

. Jason isn't boring!! There are many times he made snarky comments or jokes that were actually funny!! And even if he didn't how would you feel if you forgot everything from the start?! I would be boring too!! (Also he's autistic.)

-----

I'll add more later if I think of any but here.

#pjo #percy jackson and the olympians #hoo #heros of olympus #leo valdez #percy jackson #nico di angelo #reyna avila ramirez arellano #piper mclean #hazel levesque #frank zhang #lester papadopoulos #caleo #anti caleo

[tomicscomics]

06/16/2023

JUNE OF ARC continues!  Mondays and Fridays all June long!

___

JOKE-OGRAPHY: 1. After Joan finally acquired an escort from Sir Robert, she journeyed across hostile territory to Chinon to meet the dauphin.  It was for this journey that she cut her hair short and wore male clothes.  In addition to making it easier to ride, run, and fight (if necessary), Joan seemed to feel her purity was better protected by male clothes as she traveled through lands infested with raiders and bandits.  As for who inspired her to don this disguise, she's vague about it when asked in her trial.  Depending on the source, she either charges no one, or says that only her Voices told her, and no living man. 2. In this cartoon, we skip a lot of boring stuff.  Basically the dauphin wanted to be sure Joan wasn't crazy or evil before he risked face by endorsing her.  He sent her to some theological scholars for rigorous days of testing.  First, some nuns verified her virginity, which was important because, back then, only virgins were believed to receive divine visions.  Virginity also meant she hadn't cavorted with devils to acquire magic, which is just fully the most cracked thing I've ever heard.  Anyway, she passed, so then she was questioned by doctors of religion, where she was found to be of decent Catholic upbringing.  The scholars even scraped together a few vague prophecies -- regarding a maid who would save France -- to support her since she seemed somewhat legit.  With no way to know for sure, however, the dauphin decided to just send her to Orléans.  She said her first mission was to raise the siege there, so why not let her go to prove whether God was really guiding her? 3. "Cross-dressing" means dressing in clothes meant for the opposite sex.  In Joan's time, cross-dressing was considered a sin unless it was done for a good reason, like practical necessity or guarding one's chastity (both of which defined Joan's use of men's clothes).  In this cartoon, one of the scholars warns the dauphin that Joan's cross-dressing could be risky if people don't see it the right way.  He obviously means "cross-dressing" as in "wearing the other sex's clothes", but Joan thinks he means it as in "wearing an actual cross", so she asks if she can carry her cross instead of wearing it.  This is funny.

#joan #joan of arc #st joan #st joan of arc #jeanne #jeanne darc #st jeanne darc #dauphin #charles #nightmare nun #cross dressing #cross #jesus #catholic #christian #tom gould #tomics comics

[orkbutch]

So I've been seeing A Viewpoint within the bg3 fandom occuring. And I gotta be honest. I disagree that the characters being bisexual in Baldur's Gate 3 means you cannot headcanon them as other sexualities for your own fandom content purposes. I think that's not reflective of how queer people and their sexual identities actually work, and its just antithetical to how fandom has always functioned, which is an exercise of imagination. I wanna clarify up front: I agree that someone saying that a character Can't or Shouldn't or Was Not Meant To Be bisexual because of whatever reason IS biphobic sentiment. The characters in Baldur's Gate 3 are canonically bi/pan, thats made pretty damn clear when you look through all their content. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about headcanons, au's; the kind of imaginitve play that is very much what fandom creativity is about. If you set a standard in fandom that depicting a character as a certain sexuality is Not Allowed, 1. you're kinda flattening sexuality in a weird way, like personally my sexuality is complicated as fuck and has changed over time, and 2. you're limiting creativity. And I think creativity in fandom is extremely important. It's the whole fun of fandom. Creativity is worth protecting and its worth establishing the nuance between Depicting A Version of Character who is X and Insisting That Character Should Be X in canon. Because like... we meddle with character's identities in fandom all the time. That's what headcanons ARE, they change appearance, social position, career, faith, species, traumatic experience, moral and political alignment, and SO much more. I think limiting what people can headcanon within fandom... is less fun! It's just less fun. Imaginative scope lets you do more, weird fun stuff. It lets you depict more complex interesting characters. Example: my Bad Nun AU. In that, Shadowheart identifies as a lesbian. Why is that? Because I wanted Shadowheart's experience within Bad Nun to specifically explore the history and context of lesbians within nunneries, especially how that manifested post Vatican II. These were also eras when 'lesbian' was more ubiquitos, had a different context and more flexibility; a lot of women that would probably consider themselves 'bisexual' now were identifying as lesbians, were in lesbian communities and events and spaces.

On that note: Flattening sexuality. You're gonna say people CANNOT depict these characters as ANYTHING but bisexual? That is not how most queer people's sexualities work. It simply isn't. I've identified as tons of different shit in my sexuality. I'm still not sure about it. For me half the time my "sexual identity" is just the words I use to communicate what I'm looking for, and that changes depends on What I Want at that time, what I'm looking to explore, my social context, ect. ect. like what. This isn't how sexuality works for real people. How are artists meant to be Creative and imaginatively depict real, complex, queer sexuality if they are restricted to depicting only what is within canon?? This is not how any other part of fandom works. Fandom art should work how all art works. If someone makes shit art, it gets dunked on and ignored for being bad or lazy or lame. If someone did Heterosexual Karlach fanfic, I would be like "what the fuck why" because they made Karlach less fucking cool. Het Karlach would be boring and thats More Egregious because they DECIDED to make her heterosexual DESPITE canon. But even then, EVEN THEN, I don't think that should be looked at as off limits shit, because I don't believe art should have many things off limits. Any limits must be very nuanced, because art and creativity is nuanced. Obviously my brain would go "het karlach? you deserve jail time and thats queerphobic", but I honestly believe creative license is more important than those feelings. I WOULD happily comment on their thing, "heterosexual karlach is boring, thats a shit idea" because I'm right

If you want good art and good writing, you need to protext creative license.

#bg3 #I think I'll get shit for this but. I'm right lol

[saintsenara]

1, 2, 3 for Tom Riddle for the ask game!

thank you for the ask anon!

[character ask game here]

1. the canon about them you outright reject:

that he’s a sociopath.

not because i don’t think it’s what the text wants us to believe, but because i just think it’s so boring to have a villain whose villainy is caused by genetic factors - and i also think this undermines the series’ central theme, which is the value of choice.

i much prefer voldemort as someone whose evil has much more complex motivations - almost all of which are rooted in the grief and rage of his childhood - and who is still capable of things like love or empathy alongside them, just in strange and quite stunted ways.

2. a canon or headcanon hill you will die on about them:

that it all comes down to his mummy issues.

the voldemort of canon - and, therefore, harry and dumbledore - acts like the path his life took was caused by tom riddle sr., and the twin humiliations of being abandoned by him and finding out he was a muggle (and also, we can presume, finding out he was rich, lived in luxury, and had managed to get out of service in the second world war, while his son was dragged up in an orphanage).

but underneath all the raging about his filthy muggle father’s name, voldemort’s main motivation is his mother. he comforts himself with magical thinking about how she wouldn’t have died if she really mattered; he kills the riddles seconds after discovering his father walked out on her; he frames morfin for the crime because he called merope a slut; he murders hepzibah smith because she suggests merope stole slytherin’s locket; the locket is the only horcrux for which he constructs an incredibly elaborate defence in a place meaningful to him from childhood; he loves to talk about his mother to harry, and he loves to comfort himself by goading harry with his own motherlessness; and bellatrix is, in a sense, the anti-merope, the one woman he feels certain won’t abandon him, which is why he’s in shambles when she dies.

freud would have had a field day with him.

3. an obscure headcanon you have about them:

that he was raised as a catholic. the man very much has the energy of having been told off by a nun or two. and he loves a relic.

#character ask game #tom riddle #lord voldemort #asks answered

[aggressivelyaverage21]

Shannon's short spring break trip back home is perfect until it isn't... Her life goes up in flames- the only question is, will she run toward it or run away?

Breakfast at O’Connell’s was everything Shannon had always loved about it. Firefighters getting off shift rotated through as heaping plates of the best breakfast in New York slid in front of them. Shannon was lucky enough to have Lucky pressed up against her leg and her dad across the table from her, sipping on coffee and laughing as she regaled him with tales from training and school. 

She’d do anything to make him smile. Anything to prove to him that she was training and doing okay all those states away most of the year. He would do the same—stories from the firehouse, stories from calls– any and all of them really. Shannon liked hearing about even the boring ones. Even old stories about Jo and Benny that she’d heard only a thousand times. 

Oldman O’Connell kept their mugs full, though he always protested that Shannon was too young for coffee and should be having hot chocolate instead. He also brought out an extra plate of the good bacon and two house donuts alongside Shannon’s order of the house special—Irish Benedict. 

The rest of the day went more of the same. On their way back to the house, Shannon’s smile almost split her face when her dad’s truck rolled to a stop by their fishing spot in the Hudson. She hadn’t even noticed their poles or the tackle box in the back of the truck. Lucky was wagging his tail so hard it was pretty clear he was just as excited as Shannon was. 

It was the best spot. There was a good view of the city from here, it was quiet, never very crowded. The only problem was that they never really caught much. Not that they ever ate them, it was more of a catch-and-release program than anything else. They kept the ones when they went upstate, but the catching was never really what mattered to Shannon. 

She just liked spending time with her dad. Sometimes, they would talk. Sometimes, they wouldn’t. Sometimes, they would talk about the hard stuff. Sometimes, they just listened to the water and whatever it was around them. Sometimes, Aunt Jo would come and play fetch with Lucky and talk trash about them not being any good at fishing. 

Today, it was some of all of it. There was the talking about Shannon still wanting to join FD when she graduated college, and Lucky nosing his ball into her foot for her to toss, her dad watching her carefully, not wanting to pry but feeling like there was something Shannon wasn’t telling him.  There weren’t any bites, just enjoying the repetitiveness of tossing a long cast of the line over her shoulder, and slowly reeling it back in. It was always such a mindless rhythm. 

It was everything Shannon hoped her short stop in New York might be, especially when Jo met up with them as they were pulling back into the driveway. They were planning on doing a little workout. The whole day had gone great. The workout back at Paddy’s Field behind the playground was everything that had gotten her ready to play soccer at such a high level. After their run (a little slower this time to let Lucky keep up with them with his aging hips and her Dad’s trick knee), they moved to the agility ladder and some weighted movements using the sandbags they usually kept behind the bushes since no one was ever back here. Shannon brought her soccer ball, too. 

Having it at her feet while Jo and Lucky tried to play defense. Her dad was attempting to play goalie against the rusted fence that had served as their goal for many years. Soccer was never his favorite, but when Shannon told him that she was choosing it over basketball, he got on board so fast. As long as his little girl loved it, he would love it, too. 

The walk back to the house was just as nostalgic as the rest of the day had been. Debating what place to order takeout from. Lucky trotted happily next to her, his tongue hanging out of his mouth as she held her soccer ball under her arm against her hip. The way he looked up at her was maybe one of Shannon’s favorite things in the world. Her dad loved her, Jo loved her, she had all the guys at the firehouse, but Lucky? Lucky looked at her like Shannon was his entire world. 

Jo always joked with her that she shouldn’t ever be with anyone who didn’t look at her with at least half as much love as Lucky did. Then she would quickly accuse Shannon of feeding Lucky scraps under the table because that was by far the easiest way to buy his affections. 

Her dad and Jo were joking on either side of her as they walked too. Talking idly, occasionally making comments about their old age and how it wasn’t fair that Shannon could outpace her dad now. Always making excuses even if he winked after them. His kid was an athlete , and of course, she was going to wipe the floor with him in anything athletic. He was far past being ‘man enough’ to take that away from her. He would give her all the credit she was due. His kid would own every bit of confidence she should. He would make sure of that. 

They turned off Van Cortland Park to head past Jo’s apartment. Shannon never understood why Jo didn’t just live with them. She was over at the Masters’ house most nights they weren’t on shift anyway, or Shannon was spending the night in her own room. Now being a little bit older, Shannon wondered if it was so Aunt Jo could have her own space when she wanted. Or if she ever decided to date anyone, though no one had ever really been around.

Shannon was snapped from her thoughts when the smell of smoke on the wind hit her in the face. The two career firefighters on either side of her immediately stopped their bickering to swing their heads to look for the source. 

Shannon Shannon saw the plumeof smoke first. A little bit down the street, she saw it. The tall columnof dark smoke rose above the trees next to a very familiar corner. “Is that…” 

“Sean.” Jo’s face flashed pale as she looked at her best friend. 

Shannon was right. It was her apartment building, and by the lack of sirens in the distance… well, it just wasn’t good. 

Jo took off at a sprint. 

Sean looked at Shannon before following Jo. 

Shannon dropped her soccer ball—

the soccer ball she’d had since she had been in middle school, it was torn to hell, but it was hers — 

—it bounced on the pavement as she chased after her dad and Jo.

Keep Reading

#warrior nun #save warrior nun #wn #sister shannon #shotgun mary #shannon masters #fic: iron in bloom #firefighter au #shannon masters lore #shannon masters origion #mary x shannon #sister shannon x shotgun mary #fic: once a rookie #fic: the problem of pain

[my-mt-heart]

Hey MT, Marketing Anon again.

Seeing all the Melissa and Caryl pics made my day! I’m so glad we’re FINALLY getting some confirmation.

But I’ve noticed a TON of confusion surrounding the spinoff since the snippet of the teaser a few nights ago. Then the subsequent internet explosion that occurred when my wish was granted, and we finally got some McReedus content (I may or may not have squealed with joy—you can’t prove this without witnesses).

I saw your post about the spinoff and the confusion around it. I figured I’ll add some info that may clarify why it all seems weird—MT, you hit the nail on the head with some points I’ll cover here. As always, this is my speculation, take what resonates <3

Why Does the Eventual Caryl Spinoff News Feel Confusing?

This may be a bit boring, but it clarifies a lot, so stick with me.

Season 1

Based on what we know about Season 1 of the spinoff—it's catered toward a younger male audience. It’s a fresh new audience that may stick around and won’t be resistant to new storylines, characters, villains, etc. So they can break the mould of the old show and veer into newer territory under the same branding umbrella, which over the years has garnered intrigue to pull a cold audience, aka those who don’t know what the content is but have heard of it. (How many times have you tried something because your friends raved about it? Heck, how many of you started TWD that way?) It’s FOMO—a tried and true method to pull cold audiences.

In marketing, you do market research to learn more about your target audience so you can create content geared toward them. IF used correctly, Reddit is an “untapped gold mine” of market research to help attract your target audience (source: pipeline.zoominfo.com/marketing/reddit-market-research).

Like you said, MT, 74% of Reddit users are people in their 20s who identify as male. Half of that audience is based in the US (source: blog.gitnux.com/reddit-user-statistics). This fits in with the criteria of attracting a younger male audience. And many Redditors from this demographic are resistant to Daryl being paired with a woman his own age that he has clearly been in love with for a decade (marketing anon, your Caryler is showing). You’re welcome to look it up on Reddit and see for yourself. So they’re not married to Caryl and are open to having new female leads on the spinoff.

So if I were marketing that show, that’s where I would go for research.

I suspect nightclubs and nuns were part of that strategy, but they added the young male kid in to show Daryl’s fatherly side. Absent father figures may be a major pain point for the audience they want to reach in S1—because, sadly, approximately 12 million boys in the US grow up without a father (source: rb.gy/o72re). It fits the demographic they're trying to attract. And it’s also a good way to preserve the ‘Daryl we know’ to hook the old audience while attracting the new.

Unfortunately, the reactions by that audience to S1 have been mixed—which, as I mentioned in a previous anon, is a marketer's worst nightmare. So you either change your content/strategy or find an audience that engages with and wants your content/strategy. It’s obviously too late to redo S1 since it has wrapped filming. The only option is to modify it as much as you can to appeal to an audience that is engaging to them—Carylers.

Which brings me to…

Season 2

Season 2 is a whole other strategy—it's completely catered toward Carylers and Melissa fans. They’ve used Caryl content to attract the attention of Carylers for the last decade, they’re going with what they know. Think about the news in the last few weeks. How many of us wanted all of that? They KNOW how to attract us. So Season 2 is a no-brainer IF done correctly.

So How Does This Explain the Spinoff Confusion?

The information we have is extremely ambiguous—When does it air? Who is the main villain? Why are they shooting 2 seasons back to back? What does it mean by a complete ‘reset’? What’s the damn name—Daryl Dixon or Raise the Dead or Pilgrim or something else to fit Caryl?

To further complicate things, they have two sets of audiences that they’re trying to cater to, but only one is responding to them on social media. Just look at the trajectory of the news:

Bathtub leak (nothing)

Rumours of Carol returning (Melissa trends on Twitter)

Daryl “in production” teaser (nothing)

Melissa spotted in the wilderness (Melissa/Caryl trend on Twitter)

Daryl snippet and the promise of a teaser (nothing)

The next day we see Mcreedus and Melissa McBride (Melissa/Caryl trend on Twitter—I think Melissa is still trending 2 days later)

Yes, there were times Daryl was also trending, but if you looked at the top posts, they all had to do with his relationship with Carol or TF in some way. The news that is promoting S2 is getting more attention. Hence creating a cluster of fans (from both groups, S1 group and S2 group) who are confused about when Melissa is joining.

So without clarifying, they’re thriving on the confusion. And instead of doing separate promo for S1, they’re cruising on the buzz generated by all the Melissa and McReedus sightings and keeping people wondering.

That way, Carylers join in and watch S1 with the promise of more Caryl (more info in my previous speculation post to MT).

So What Is REALLY Happening With the Eventual Caryl Spinoff?

It's exactly that—an eventual Caryl spinoff.

S1 is still a solo Daryl show where he is a fish out of water—exploring France, meeting the nun and her nephew, fighting villains, and trying to find a way home.

Melissa McBride joins in S2 of the spinoff.

In S2, Caryl clearly join forces in a location that parallels Consumed.

S1 airs sometime in the fall (I’ve heard September thrown around a lot, but we may get confirmation of that and of Melissa’s return at SDCC).

S2 air date is still TBA.

That’s all the reliable source-backed information we have so far. Melissa may have a cameo in the S1 finale but it hasn't been confirmed. We don’t know if the romantic canon is in the cards yet, although they tried to tease it with that ring on Melissa’s finger. Again, a promise of what you get if you tune in.

Where Does That Leave You, Dear Caryler?

If you signed up for to watch Caryl together—there’s still time for that. S1 still seems to be mostly Daryl with the French entourage. But Melissa is back, and she looks extremely happy. For me, personally, that counts as a sunny day after a cold, hard winter of her absence, her brief SDCC sighting, and nothing but tearful pictures of her during the final days of TWD shoots.

Remember that the timing of every piece of news you got isn’t a coincidence. They’re doubling down on getting Carylers’ attention because they need you to tune in.

Your view has value, your perspective is important—and you deserve to withhold investment until YOU feel they’ve earned it.

You hold the power—No matter what they want you to think. Use it wisely. Caryl on. <3

That was a thorough breakdown, thank you!!

Catering to two (opposing) groups is making me want to rip my hair out. How do you maintain longterm viewership that way?? No one’s going to be satisfied, and I’m concerned I’m going to resent what they do with Daryl in S1 so much, I won’t have the heart for S2 anymore. So I’d really like that addressed somehow.

Panels may not happen this year, but still holding out hope for an official announcement on Melissa, Caryl, and that damn title. And I want language that emphasizes it’s Norman’s AND Melissa’s show. Not Melissa joining Norman’s show because that’s not true.

#caryl #caryl spinoff #carol peletier #melissa mcbride #darylneedscarol

[lookismaddict]

Masterpiece thats all I gonna say it a masterpiece of confession and bath scene. Lol

Also I just remember when I read in the bath scene that y/n thought is she is approaching Gun like those shady back ally service, I just thought on the soapgirls [soaplands/sopu-jyo] (you can search it and I read a manga about it)

Damn all I think on how I want to bath together with Gun and how I want lean his muscle in the bathtub. I just wanna feel those muscles.

Spice basically turn into sweet dessert that I enjoy since it been awhile that you update. (Sorry can't make the chap 2 lol. My laptop have buzzing sound when it start so I need to check it up if there is any problem with it and also college)

Gun mentioning about the morning after care pill and having his baby made my chuckled then y/n saying that he doesn't need to as she been drinking birth control pills.

Somehow I get the feeling that he is alittle disappointed that y/n won't have his babies early but still excited that he can just goes his ways to y/n without worrying LOL.

Lemme guess next chap will have spice again noh? Also I kinda curious in the past ask I made that you basically confirm that Gun may have the Box of toys gifted by Goo. I wonder if it will appear as one of the kink in a chapters.

AGHHHH TY SAM FOR ALWAYS WRITING A CHAPTER REVIEW FOR RENDEZVOUS!! I'm always so eager to see what you thought of whenever you read a chapter. 😊❤️

Oh my god, YES. THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING OF WHEN I WROTE THAT PART ABOUT THOSE ENTERTAINMENT WORKERS IN KABUKICHO (a.k.a. for anyone who doesn't know, Tokyo's well-known Red Light Entertainment District located in Shinjuku). AH, "SOAP-GIRLS" 😭 I FORGOT WHAT THE ACTUAL TERM WAS FOR THESE WORKERS, BUT THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME!

Fun Fact: How I heard about Soap-Land was from an old video I watched on 88rising's channel back in 2018, when Joji was starting to promote more of his music and he mentioned to Lil Yachty that he should visit more of the "weirder" parts of Tokyo, which was LITERALLY Soap-Land. 💀 Here's the part below at 1:20 where Joji mentions Soap-Land and explains what it is. ⬇️ (NSFW IMAGERY)

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 💀💀💀 Ah yes, we all want to get a feel of Gun's muscles, don't we? Especially, in the bath tub. 😩💦

Ah gee, it really has been a while huh? 😭 To be frank, I quite enjoyed writing the transitions from rough and hardcore, to soft and affectionate smut scenes. 😆 I believe that, if the chapters always display aggressive scenes, then it'll be too repetitive and the story will eventually get boring imo. (Because I also want to follow the plot of what I had in mind for this story, and not just produce smut for no reason.) Honestly, my main focus is on the story and not just the smut but I'm glad that you guys enjoy them. 😳💗 (Is ok Sam, I understand. As much as I want to read Ch. 2 of your Gun x Y/N Nun story, I'll always remain patient and wait for it if you suddenly decide to or if you're able to continue writing it. I STILL HAVE HOPE!! 😩😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Also, I know college can be a pain too so that's understandable.)

BAHAHAAHSHDFSDFSLDKFSL MAN, THAT PART HAD ME CACKLING LATE AT NIGHT WHEN I DECIDED TO WRITE THAT LINE. 💀💀💀💀💀💀 God, I still have tears to this day just from laughing at that. 😖 My sense of humor? Peak. 👌🏽 Kidding. I'm the biggest idiot ever.

In all honesty, if he looks back at that memory, he would be a bit upset that (Y/N) turned him down on wanting to conceive his child. 😭 Gun's immediate thought would be, "How dare she not want to have my child. Does that woman not know how INVINCIBLE our child could have been? Our son/daughter could have had everything! Good looks, undefeatable strength, and THE Copy Ability!! Tch, forget searching for my own successor. My child WILL be the successor." And then (Y/N) would eventually stop him like, "Ohhh no you don't! I won't let you turn our kid into one of your little Power Rangers!" 💀 But man, he'd definitely get his way with her. What's scary is the possible thought of forcing her to have his child. Like for instance, he might approach her one day and say, "You're going to have my child no matter what." Poor (Y/N) is just going to look at him confused like, "Um... what?" 🤨 and then BABY BOOM! 😩😩😩 (I'm guessing this is where his breeding kink comes in.)

Teehee... maybe, maybe not. 😏 Ohhhhhhh boyyyyyyy. Now, THAT will be fun to write about! I'll be doing a lot of brainstorming these next few days. I'm excited to write the next chapter!! 👀

ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU SAM FOR THE AMAZING CHAPTER REVIEW!! *MWAH* 💋 I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY!!! 🥰🥰🥰

#slimesam 💚 #slimesam thoughts ✨ #lookism #lookismaddict #lookismaddictq&a #lookism gun park #gun park x reader #gun park x y/n #jonggun x reader #Rendezvous #Rendezvous ideas

[mack-anthology-mp3]

Aotearoa Music Month

It's almost the end of NZ Music Month, here are my personal favourite Aotearoa artists and a few song recommendations :)

(If you listen to one song from the list make it Old Peel)

Aldous Harding. Words cannot explain the sheer bonkersness of Aldous Harding. One of her earliest songs shares the name but seemingly little else with Titus Groan, the gothic-fantasy novel by Mervyn Peake, and the music video for 'Lawn' features her in a prosthetic lizard tail. Performing live, she often stares straight ahead as though she is not quite sure why you're all looking at her. Her songs, sometimes joyous (The Barrel, Fever, Lawn), and sometimes yearning (Pilot, Party) sometimes just bored (Ennui), are all unmistakably her. Her last few albums have been produced by PJ Harvey collaborator John Parish, and her band includes multi-instrumentalist H. Hawkline (Cate Le Bon collaborator). 2022's Warm Chris was my favourite album of the year, I listened to it almost everyday for two months, the standout line (from 'Fever' being 'the weather/opened up like a birthday card' which is just beautiful. Her best song, though, I think is 'Old Peel', a 2021 single in which the percussion is Harding banging on a coffee mug with a stick. And she does this live as well.

2. The Beths. The Beths are one of those wonderful indie bands whose music all sounds so cheerful but the songs are all about the crushing weight of your insecurities. They've released 3 studios albums and an EP, but I reckon their debut, Future Me Hates Me, is their best one - standout tracks are the title track, 'Happy Unhappy' and 'Uptown Girl'. Their sounds is a mix of contemporary indie pop (lots of chirpy backup vocals) and classic indie rock dirt, especially on 'Future Me Hates Me', though their new stuff is pretty heavy live. They also use a lot of the old NZ made amps and gear that was made here in the 60s and 70s when it was too expensive to import stuff( ask any adult who was in a band here when they were younger and they'll probably have one). 'I Want to Listen' from last years' 'Expert In A Dying Field' is really lovely, if you aren't in the mood for songs about not knowing if you're lovable cos they've got a fair few of those.

3. Voom. Voom are probably on the lesser known side, but their 2006 album 'Hello, Are You There' is right up there with Grandaddy and Built to Spill. It's one of those albums with like 17 songs but some of them are less than a minute long. Beautiful indie rock, full of classic stuff like 'Jimmy's Got A Boner' 'My Friend Satan' and 'I'm Leaving Forever'. The best song on the album is 'B Your Boy', which I could listen to for a very long time, and we're going to cover it in my band and I'm so excited. It's just a perfect song.

Those are my top three (at the moment) honourable mentions are -

Reb Fountain - I saw her live. It was scary. I loved it.

Marlon Williams - last year he invented a genre, Māori disco pop, wrote the most danceable song of the year (My Boy), and played bongos on 'Come To Me' (Björk cover) live.

Vera Ellen - Some nice pissed off indie rock. 'I Want 2 B Boy' is very cool.

Pickle Darling - very vibey bedroom pop, lots of delightful little tunes. Also they work at a record store in my hometown and is always really friendly when I'm in there :)

Tiny Ruins - I'm not the most familiar with their stuff but one of my friends tells me to listen to them all the time so they must be good. Indie folk.

The Clean - Dunedin sound band, not super familiar with them but they have a song called 'Point That Thing Somewhere Else' which sounds like Sonic Youth but somehow even cooler.

Dimmer - 'I Believe You Are A Star' sort of like Portishead, by ex-Straightjacket Fits musician Shanye Carter. loudest show I've ever been to.

This one song called 'Gaskrankinstation' by the Headless Chickens, it's hella dark but pretty damn cool. post-punk.

Special Mention to Flying Nun Records, the actual coolest record label.

#nz music month #aotearoa #aldous harding #marlon williams #the beths #warm chris #john parish #h. hawkline #titus groan #expert in a dying field #voom #hello are you there #reb fountain #my boy #vera ellen #pickle darling #tiny ruins #the clean #headless chickens #flying nun records #indie #old peel #dimmer #i believe you are a star