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itsany62 · 3 years

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SteveTony - Alternate Universe

Here are some Alternate Universe fics that I love. Don't forget to leave kudos and nice comments in every fic!

Food for the Heart, by LagLemon, 14 k >, Cooking, No Powers.

After being introduced to a gourmet food on a budget blog by Pepper (a gift for her elderly, cheapskate mother) Tony starts cooking again. The recipes are good, but the blog owner is even better. Still, Tony isn't so sure Captain America, the guy who runs the blog, can compete with Hot Bagboy, the gorgeous blond who works at the grocery store.

"Free to Good Home" by Captain_Panda, 7 k > words, Alternate Universe - Animals.

"Oliver and Company" AU.

There's a great big world outside the box.

But it's a dog-eat-dog world, and Tony's just one cat. Then a stray dog comes along, looking for a friend.

A Day In Principal Stark's Office, by nannersmelo, 10 k > words, Steve Single Parent, Director Tony.

Tony Stark has his hands full with not only Stark Industries, but also his beloved mother's life project: The Maria Stark Academy, and as he enters his office in order to deal with a ferocious mother whose son was apparently assaulted by one of his brightest students, he was sure this day would culminate in nothing but a heinous headache. Little did he know - he was in for one hell of a surprise.

I Am the Night by gottalovev, 6 k > words, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Vampire Tony Stark, Wizard Steve Rogers.

That's it. Tony is doomed. He rolls on his back, crosses his wings over his belly and closes his eyes. He'll await death here, misunderstood by the world to the bitter end.

C is for Calculus and Compromise, by heydoeydoey, 11 k>, Gifted AU, Post-Divorce, Angts with a Happy Ending.

Steve's just trying to give his prodigy daughter a normal childhood. Enter a meddling school administrator, Tony Stark, and too many lawyers.

tell you my love for you by jelliebean, 22 k > words, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Based on Love Simon.

A guy at Shield High comes out on tumblr, anonymously. Tony thought he was the only gay guy on campus--not out, because of Howard--and sends him an email.

“Hey, Flying. Same here. I’ve got a secret too, and it’s like I’m hiding who I am, every day. From everyone. All the closest people to me. But I just can’t tell them. I’m gay, too. It feels like I’m putting on this mask, this shell of who I think they want me to be. Even though I don’t think my friends would judge me. I don’t know why. I just. I’ve got a secret. –Shell”

The guy seems great--amazing, even, and then Hammer has to step in and ruin it all.

Mergers & Acquisitions by Robin_tCJ, 33 k > words, Angst, sex as currency.

Steve Rogers is the CEO of the Rogers Corporation, which he built from the ground up. When he learns that Hydra International is making a bid for a hostile takeover of Stark Industries, he decides he has to do what he can to stop Hydra from overtaking the market and becoming an unstoppable, unethical conglomerate. Tony Stark asks for something Steve isn’t sure he should give, but he does it anyway – and it completely changes everything. But when Hydra keeps coming, Steve and Tony realize there’s more to this than they’d realized.

Meeting the Monsters by itsallAvengers, 23 k > words, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters.

Tony's at public school with kids his age for the first time in seventeen years, and he is determined that this year is gonna be his year. He's going to make friends. He's going to be popular. People will like him.

Unsurprisngly, none of that actually happens.

He does sort-of-maybe fall in love with a vampire in his class that everyone is terrified of, though. So... there's that.

(I Want You To See) The Darkest Side Of Me by ann2who, 45 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Post-World War II.

In Monte Carlo, Steve meets the wealthy widower Anthony Stark. It’s love at first sight—at least for Steve—and he can’t believe his luck when Tony asks him to live at Stark Mansion, his large estate in Malibu. Never in his life had Steve thought something like this was possible… never had he been this happy. However, soon Steve realizes that Tony is still deeply troubled by the death of his first wife and haunted by the many ghosts she left behind. The longer Steve lives in her shadow, the more he understands that… He can never be what Tony’s wife had once been for him. And Tony might never truly love him.

Gift With Purchase Remix by sabrecmc, 43 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, hooker Steve, Sugar Daddy.

Gift With Purchase Remix wherein Steve actually is a hooker. But for a Really Sympathetic Reason.

The Little Glass Screwdriver by ann2who, 19 k > words, Cinderella AU.

When Prince Steven is forced to find himself a bride, true love gets in the way. As the night of the grand ball unfolds, the prince meets a mysterious knight who might just change his entire life in a way he could have never imagined.

**Cinderella AU**

Covered in Lines by royal_chandler, 3 k > words, Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Alternate Universe - College/University, Age Difference.

He can’t lose sight of pale, deft hands that gesture on transitive verbs, an ink-stained thumb edging underneath Tony’s ribcage with an affection that can only be called dangerous.

half-wild and glimmering by deathsweetqueen , 15 k > words, Alternate Universe - Western, Prostitution.

“Give me a drink, Tasha,” Tony sighs as he lands in front of the bar. “I’ve had one hell of a day.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow. “Have you really?” she asks, loftily, sliding a tumbler of whiskey along the well-polished wood.

Tony lets his head hang, the sweat beading on the back of his neck. “You wouldn’t believe what I’ve had to put myself through today,” he sighs, wearily.

“I would not know. You will not let me work the rooms,” Natasha retorts, her voice a little strained, busying her hands in a dirty glass.

“I don’t let you work the rooms ‘cause you’re liable to kill anyone who touches ya the wrong way and we can’t lose that much of our business,” Tony reminds her, wryly amused, sipping at his whiskey. He shakes his head at the burn. “We peddle flesh, darling, not death.”

peers, fears and holiday cheers by jacobby, 24 k > words, Parent Tony Stark.

“He’s only two years older than you,” Tony finally says when the silence becomes too much to bear.

“Dad, Teddy is turning twenty-seven next year.”

“I am not dating your husband—”

“I’m not implying you are. I just want you to be...aware that he’s practically the same age as my husband.”

AKA

Tony Stark's new boyfriend is only two years older than his adult sons. Telling them is one thing, introducing them is another. What Tony doesn't expect is that the past always has a way of catching up to him, of biting him in the ass when he least expects it. Well, at least they're all together for the Holidays. What more can he ask for?

A Higher Form of War by sabrecmc, 292 k > words, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Historical Romance.

Tony is a King with a surprising number of people out to kill him. Steve and the rest of the Avengers are fighting for Pierce's rebellion and end up with Tony as their prisoner. Oops.

you can call me babe for the weekend by complicationstoo, 10 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, actor Tony Stark.

Tony left his small town for Los Angeles after high school, leaving behind everything to pursue his dream. Ten years later, he comes back for the first time and finds that some things are impossible to let go of.

Lord, What Fools These Mortals Be by iam93percentstardust, 72 k > words, Alternate Universe - Theatre.

Famed director Phil Coulson brings Shakespeare’s beloved play, A Midsummer Night’s Dream, to Broadway. This production though comes with a twist: a brief but passionate love affair between the faerie king, Oberon, and his attendant, Puck. In the roles of the two star-crossed lovers, Coulson casts America’s darling Steve Rogers, fresh off his third Academy Award, and Broadway royalty, Tony Stark. Steve quickly finds himself falling for the quick-witted and sarcastic actor but Tony is dating the stage manager. Unwilling to come between the seemingly happy couple, Steve steps back but all isn’t right behind the scenes and Tony may need him when everything falls apart.

and so we rebuild by raeldaza, 26 k > words, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Soulmates, Mutual Pining.

Sometimes, a voice whispers: you will never atone for your mistakes.

Tony believes that, believes it so strongly some days he drowns in it, but he still tries. Tries through Starfleet, tries through inventions, tries through missions. Then, one day, he meets his new Captain, and things change.

and teach this heart (how to beat with light), by starklystar, 40 k >, AU Hospital, Single parent Steve.

Eight years ago, at a funeral with a baby's cries ringing in his ears, Tony Stark decided to turn his life around. He's a genius, billionaire, philanthropist. What's so hard to adding 'doctor' to that list? And after that, it can't be that hard to add 'husband' and 'father' too, right? But the past has a way of haunting even the very best of us, and in any universe, Tony Stark and Steve Rogers have never had an easy love.

Featuring: drama, chaos, Peter's scheming, meddling friends, and doctors learning again that the heart can never be as simple as four chambers and four valves.

Catching Lightning in a Bottle by sabrecmc, 120 k > words, Alternate Universe - Sweet Home Alabama Fusion.

College student Tony meets janitor Steve at MIT and they fall blissfully in love, until Howard happens and things fall apart. One divorce paperwork snafu courtesy of the ever-helpful Jarvis, and ten years later, Tony has to get re-divorced from Steve.

This does not go as he imagines.

Or, the Sweet Home Alabama AU that no one--well, okay, a few of you--asked for.

The Night Shift by weethreequarter , 16 k > words, Alternate Universe - Hospital.

Welcome to the Emergency Department of San Antonio General where Dr. Tony Stark joins the team fresh from his most recent tour in Afghanistan and - much to the consternation of the other staff - strikes up an instant rapport with Nurse Steve Rogers. Meanwhile, new resident Bruce Banner refuses to give up on his patient, and Dr. Sharon Carter learns something from her own patients. Throw in a pissed off hospital administrator, Clint using the coffee pot as a mug again, and a major car crash and you have, well, just another night shift.

Cake It Till You Make It by ChocolateCapCookie, 10 k > words, Kid Fic, Alternate Universe - Bakery.

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark have a lot in common. They're single parents, they own rival bakeries at the center of town... and they both hate each other's guts.

When a mix-up at Peter and Morgan's school has both fathers scrambling to prove they're the better baker, they do the mature, adult thing and compete in a bake-off. Between the mixing and the creaming, the baking and the icing, Steve and Tony find that hate is actually not that far from love.

Looking for Heaven by foxxcub, 31 k > words, Alternate Universe - Regency, Marriage of Convenience.

When young Lord Anthony Stark learns Steven Rogers has enlisted in the army, he thinks he's seen the last of his tiny, headstrong, haughty stable boy. But four years later, Lord Stark gets an unexpected visit from Steve, whose mother has fallen gravely ill and into financial ruin. Even more unexpected, Steve agrees to a shocking proposal: they will marry, giving Steve the necessary funds to save his mother, and Tony the much-needed reprieve from harassing would-be suitors. It is a business arrangement, nothing more. But as time goes on and circumstances arise, Tony begins to learn that keeping his heart away from his husband is easier said than done.

just a guy, standing in front of another guy by theappleppielifestyle, 12 k > words.

“It’s not real,” Tony says, still smiling, jaw twitching with effort. “The fame. It’s - I’m just a guy."

(Or, Notting Hill AU, with a twist.)

Mother of Exiles (A Titanic AU) by BladeoftheNebula, 21 k > words, Alternate Universe - Titanic Fusion.

“You’ll never guess what just happened!” Steve said, taking a deep breath to try and calm his breathing. “I met someone. A guy from first class.”

Dublin 1912: Steve Rogers is barely making ends meet, living in the tenement slums of Dublin. But a stroke of good luck gives him and his best friend the chance to change their fortune. Two tickets to America on board the RMS Titanic.

The Devil You Know by shetlandowl, 17 k > words, Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Author/Novelist.

Best selling author Tony Stark revives the bodice ripper genre for a modern audience. From frisky gay cowboys to ravenous lesbian pirate queens, he consistently delivers riveting thrillers full of romance, drama, and the filthy, unapologetically kinky sex that has become his trademark specialty.

Tony has everything a man could dream of - horny, adoring fans, and boatloads of money. Or that's what he thought, until Detective Steve Rogers walks into his life and turns it all upside down.

Bears and Mountains and Lumberjacks Oh My! by justanotherrollingstony (adoctoraday), 24 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Lumberjack Steve Rogers.

It was supposed to be easy--go meet the reclusive artist and buy some art. And then came the broken down car. And the snowstorm. And the lumberjack with a face like a greek god. So yea, Tony is stuck in a cabin in the woods with a hot lumberjack till the storm clears. Could be worse.

Series: A Furious Vexation by Annie D (scaramouche), 18 k > words, Alternate Universe - Post-Apocalypse.

A Steve/Tony post-apocalypse AU that exists pretty much just for the smut.

That Feline Beat by Tito11, 5 k > words, Alternate Universe - Animals.

Presenting Steve and Tony in the Aristocats!AU

Tony and his three kittens have been kidnapped from their fancy Upper East Side apartment while their owners are away and deposited on the mean streets of Harlem. Unsure of where they are or how to get back home, they'll have to rely on street cat Steve to guide them. Will they get home safely? Will Tony's fear of abandonment cause him to drive away the best tomcat he's ever known? Only time will tell.

do you fondue? by calciseptine, 16 k > words, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting.

Tony has done crazy things in the name of food, but falling in love with Steve Rogers really takes the cake.

a glimpse of heaven's love by parkrstark, 13 k> words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Terminal Illnesses.

The child begins to empty his pockets. He starts to count coins on the counter. Tony huffs a little impatiently as he realizes most of them are pennies.

The cashier actually humors the kid and counts along with him. They reach 3 dollars and 54 cents before he shakes his head sadly. "Sorry, kid. There's not enough here."

The kid sounds close to crying. "I need these paints for my Papa. It's Christmas Eve and these...he doesn't have any. The doctors said he doesn't have long. I want him to have these. In case he meets Jesus tonight, I want him to paint one more time. Please."

Tony takes a step forward, arms still full of toys he's buying just because. He can cover this child's gift for his dying father. Money. Money is what he's good for.

"I'll buy them."

Or, the Christmas Shoes AU no one but me asked for.

If you survive first impressions, you're good to go by itsallAvengers, 3 k > words, Parent Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - No Powers.

The first time Peter Parker-Stark sees Steve Rogers, he may or may not be standing in direct path of the man's motorcycle.

His daddy is really not going to be happy about that one.

A Rat-ional Conclusion by BladeoftheNebula, 6 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Veterinarians, Parent Tony Stark.

He had a strong flurry of patients throughout the morning and by the time it rolled around to noon, he was just about worn out.

He walked out into the reception, stretching until he felt a satisfying pop. “Are we done?”

Bucky checked the screen. “Just about. One more before lunch - a rat, singular.”

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully straight forward then. “Great, let me know when they-”

He was interrupted by the bell over the door and looked up to see a little girl cradling a small animal carrier, being shepherded through the door by easily one of the hottest men he’d ever seen in real life.

Oh wow.

Tidal Pull by sabrecmc, 97 k > words, Octopus Tony Stark, Alternate Universe - Shipwrecked.

After the American Civil War, Union soldier Steve Rogers takes a chance on an opportunity to sail with the Stark Trading Company down in the Caribbean. During a terrible storm, his ship is lost. To his surprise, he survives, and ends up stranded on an island that isn't quite as deserted as he first thinks.

Or, a reverse Little Mermaid tale where Steve has to fall for the fish-man.

Twelve Days by elysianprince, 22 k > words, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Ghosts.

In which Tony finds himself in a town that looks like it crawled out of a Hallmark Christmas movie, trying to sell an inn he didn't know he owned, all while dealing with Steve Rogers, the resident ghost who has returned to haunt the inn each December during the twelve days of Christmas for the past seventy years. Tony has only one logical solution that benefits them both: break the curse that binds him - but falling for a man almost a century old wasn't among his plans.

She kissed me by S_Horne, 1 k > words, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting.

“Your mom kissed me.”

Steve blinked awake and lifted his head from his pillow to look over at the silhouette in the doorway. “What?”

“Your mom,” Tony reiterated. “She kissed me.”

“Yeah,” Steve said simply, “she does that.”

#stevetony #stony #fic rec #tony stark #steve rogers #my recs

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jwillowwolf · 3 years

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Magic and Miracles - Prologue

Tag List: @sandersidesbigbang @thomassanderssidesbigbang2021 @theimprobabledreamersworld

First Chapter > | Masterlist

This is a multi-chapter fic I've been working on for the last couple of months as a part of the 2021 Sanders Sides Big Bang. The original idea came from this post by @remy-please-come-back [thanks again for letting me use the idea 💜].

Summary: Ever present, never seen. Feared and admired by all beings. The life that bursts from the earth, the secrets hidden in stone. It dances in the fire’s flames; it gives the wind its mournful tone. Here it is, this is it. Defined yet unexplained. In the depths of the ocean, and of your own mind. In the veins of all creatures, including humankind. For magic is in everything, yet unknown all the same.

For the longest time, Logan wanted to learn magic. So, when he was offered the chance to study it at a new magic school, he decided to follow his dreams. Along the way, however, he'll learn about so much more.

Warning/s: food mention.

Characters: Logan, Emile, Remy, OCs.

Read on AO3

0 | The Underdog's Debut

Ever present, never seen. Feared and admired by all beings.

The life that bursts from the earth, the secrets hidden in stone.

It dances in the fire’s flames; it gives the wind its mournful tone.

Here it is, this is it. Defined yet unexplained.

In the depths of the ocean, and of your own mind.

In the veins of all creatures, including humankind.

For magic is in everything, yet unknown all the same.

Perhaps this was why people found it so intriguing from such a young age. They wanted answers to what magic was, and while they didn’t find what they sought, they did learn how it could be used to their advantage. Spells were created to do anything that their caster’s heart desired. From creating a small orb of light for reading in the night to manipulating a tidal wave that could crash down on your enemies.

Magic was something not easily understood, which was one reason why the Council of Wizards evaluated all potential magic users. They wanted to gage that these young mages could safely use the power they were wielding. If not, then they needed to be properly dealt with before things got out of hand.

This was a good thing, but also not because to learn magic safely you would need someone else to teach you first-hand.

Now that doesn’t seem like much of an obstacle, except the only established wizards were of the nobility, and therefore only worked with nobility. The system was pretty much rigged to make it hopeless for average people to learn and use magic. Or it was until our protagonist came along.

He rose from poverty to royalty, became a hero among heroes, and faced off against one of the greatest threats to humankind that ever existed! But I’m getting ahead of myself -sorry- let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Oh, but where to begin? Ah! We’ll start from his first test with the Council of Wizards when he was only a young lad of 15. It was the beginning of spring, which is when the COW always held the learner’s test. This test evaluated your magical potential and gave the council a heads up on how many new mages there were. Yes, COW, don’t ask me why they went with that acronym.

The ceremony was being held in the grand hall of the palace, and it was open for anyone from the Srednas Kingdom to come and watch. The test itself was rather simple but the festivities that came with it made things feel like a special holiday. Nobility and common folk alike were gathered to watch and see what new wizards would be taking on learning magic. There was even a small market of sorts set outside the palace to take advantage of the crowds and sell foods, drinks, and commemorative merchandise.

Inside, people were everywhere, talking excitedly to one another and trying to find good places to view the proceedings. At the end of the room, there was a dais with two thrones where King Thomas and his husband, Prince Consort Nico, sat to watch. In front of the dais were nine chairs for the COW members, who talked with the royals and amongst themselves. Even they seemed eager for what was about to happen, and yet no one knew truly how monumental today was going to be.

The event had begun the same as any other year. Noble children from across the land showed off whatever three spells they’d learnt for the test. Most were common tricks like lighting candles or making plants grow. A handful showed off with advanced versions of these spells, such as holding the flames in their hands or making entire trees grow. Still, regardless of how many times these spells were cast, the crowd watched in awe with each new user who passed their test.

And then a young man in a simple navy tunic and black trousers stepped forward. He looked to be in his mid-teens, the same as most of the young mages and walked with an air of subtle confidence. He had a slender form and soft features that pronounced his youthful appearance. His hair was raven black, swept neatly to the side, and his eyes were such a dark brown that they seemed almost black.

“Please state your name and title.” Silvia, the eldest council member, said.

“My name is Logan Picani.”

“Title?”

“I don’t have any.”

Silence fell over the hall. “Pardon?”

“I don’t have any titles.”

“How do you not have any titles?”

“I’m not a noble.”

Some people audibly gasped and began whispering conspiratorially to one another.

“Young man, you do understand what this test is, correct?” Allen, another council member, asked with a thinly veiled look of disgust.

“Yes sir, I do. I also know for a fact that there are no rules against my taking the test because of being a commoner.”

Allen frowned and opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by Silvia. “I suppose not. Well then, let’s see what you can do.”

Logan took a deep breath and then held up his hand, “Ignyght.”

The tip of his little finger began to glow with golden light. The crowd watched on in silence as he carefully moved his hand to draw the necessary rune with the trail of light that flowed from his finger.

Once the rune was complete, he spoke again. “Solhart.”

The rune turned stark white and then disappeared. For a moment nothing happened, then a small white orb appeared where the rune had previously been floating. This earned a few excited claps from the crowd and an approving nod from two council members. But Logan didn’t stop there.

“Groh.” This time the light from his fingers was bright green. He made a different rune then repeated the sealing word, “Solhart.”

The orb multiplied until nearly fifty of them were floating in a cluster before Logan.

“Stahwynd.” A deep blue light flowed from Logan’s finger as he drew the final rune. “Solhart.”

The orbs burst apart from one another like birds flying off a tree in fear. Some people from the crowd shouted in shock as the balls of light zoomed off in all different directions until finally, they stopped. Now they were floating all around the room above the spectators who gasped as they realized what Logan had done. The hall’s ceiling was pitch black, so the lights looked like stars in the night sky. It was a breath-taking sight that inspired many to cheer and clap for the young mage.

“Alright, please settle down,” Silvia called over the noise before looking at Logan with a thoughtful expression. “Where did you learn this?”

“I taught myself.”

Silvia nodded then turned to talk with her fellow council members in hushed tones. Allen and two others seemed upset, while the rest of the council were neutral if not mildly impressed. After a few minutes, she looked back at Logan with a soft smile.

“Mr Picani, you are officially granted your learner’s license. I hope when we see you again in a few months time, you will once more surprise us all.”

The crowd cheered and Logan nodded before walking away with a look of pride. As he made his way through the crowd, he received congratulations from many strangers. And then he was tackled to the ground by an enthusiastic brown-haired girl.

“You did it! You did it! I knew you could do it!”

“Everleigh, my ribs.” Logan wheezed, causing the girl to release him.

“Oops, sorry. My bad. Is your chest okay?”

“It’s fine.” Both youths got up with smiles on their faces. “I did it.”

“Yep. In a couple of months, you’re going to be an official grand wizard.”

“Considering I just got my learners, I don’t think I’ll reach such a title that quickly.”

“You just created a night sky in the palace ballroom! I think you’re underestimating yourself.”

Logan smiled softly, “Come on, we should head back to the bakery to celebrate.”

Everleigh nodded in agreement and linked their arms so they could walk side by side. As they walked, Everleigh excitedly told Logan about how incredible it had looked from the crowd, and what kind of reactions the people around her had had.

Logan was uncharacteristically grinning by the time they’d reached the bakery. Walking inside only made his smile widen as the smell of fresh bread and sweet pastries filled his senses. It was after all the smell of home, so of course, it made him feel warm and welcomed. His father, Emile Picani, was standing by the counter helping an elderly customer when Logan and Everleigh walked in.

“Thank you, dear.”

“Oh, I should be the one thanking you, Mrs Goldstone. The brownie recipe you gave me has become a bestseller.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Have a nice day dear.”

“To you as well, ma’am. Oh, Logan, Everleigh, you’re back. And smiling,” Emile gasped, “did you get it?”

“He’s a wizard!” Everleigh dramatically announced.

“Not yet, I still need to finish the second test in a couple of months. I do have a learners’ license though.”

“Well, I think this calls for some celebratory tarts,” Emile said, ushering both youths into the back of the shop where the Picani’s sitting room/kitchen was located. “I’m proud of you logan. That hard work really paid off.”

“Speaking of hard work, you are going to take a break, right?” Everleigh asked.

Logan looked away from her sheepishly. “Well…”

“Come on, Lo. You’ve been working hard non-stop for months.”

“Yeah, kid, you work with me in the bakery all day, then study well into the night. And don’t think I haven’t seen you pull an all-nighter here and there.” Emile chastised.

It was true that Logan had worked long hard to get to where he was. it wasn’t exactly a simple task when books on magic were hard to find, and what knowledge they had was even harder to grasp. Figuring out pronunciation for the initiation/sealing words and learning to keep his hand steady as he drew the runes.

It had taken him many long nights of studying by candlelight to figure out the spells he’d performed. But with Everleigh’s library apprenticeship and his own persistent nature, he’d managed to learn a good deal about the basics. And now it was paying off. He officially had a learner’s license and would get a chance to become a genuine wizard.

Then he could use magic to help so many of the villagers who couldn’t afford the high-priced assistance of other magicians. Medicinal potions? Enchanted prosthetics? Transition spells? He would be able to give all this and more at prices his peers could afford.

Logan knew that what he was doing seemed near impossible, but he was going to do it or die trying! …okay, so maybe Emile and Everleigh were valid in their concern for his health, but this was his best and only way to study magic.

Before Logan could argue this, however, a stranger walked into the bakery. He was tall and slender, with a bronze tan and confident bearing. He was wearing a black leather jacket over a clean white tunic, black trousers, and dark brown riding boots. His short curly hair was the same dark brown shade as the boots, and his eyes were hidden by black tinted glasses.

“New customer, how do you how do?”

The stranger smiled. “Hey there, gorgeous. Sorry but I’m not a customer today. Is this where Logan Picani lives?”

“Yes, that’s my son.”

“Son? No offence honey but you look too young and handsome to be a dad.”

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?” Logan asked, taking over the conversation for his blushing father.

“Ah, yeah, I’m here to offer you a very special opportunity on behalf of the crown prince.”

Logan and Emile gaped. “The crown prince?”

The stranger nodded. “My name is Remy Animosni, and on behalf of his highness, I’m here to extend an exclusive invitation to the Srednas Magic School.”

Logan frowned. “I wasn’t aware that there was a magic school here in Srednas.”

“Well, that’s because there wasn’t, not until now anyway. It’s something that the prince arranged to start this year with a few students to show how good it could be to the council. You particularly caught his interest today with your starry spellcasting, hence the personal invite. You would learn alongside six other students under me about everything there is to know concerning magic, from the full basics of spells to how you can modify your own enchantments.”

“That sounds incredible,” Emile said.

Remy nodded. “Yep, and not only that but you will be given your own room at the school and anything you may need or want during your stay will be provided by us, free of charge. The location of the school is just an hour out of town, so you could visit home on weekends if you desired. So how about it, kid?”

Logan was gobsmacked. The crown prince had not only seen him but was impressed enough to send an invitation to learn magic at a special new magic school.

“Wait, what do I have to do for the prince in return?”

“Absolutely nothing. The offer is completely free of any fees or deceptive dealings. I promise. The prince even sent this with me to make sure you could have physical proof if so desired.” Remy stated, producing a scroll from inside his jacket.

Emile and Logan both looked over the document and found no problems. It was a straightforward invitation for Logan to study magic at the prince’s new school, with promises to provide anything he could need while he was living at said school, and nothing more. The father and son shared a thoughtful glance. It was definitely an opportunity.

Emile smiled. “Do it.”

“Really? You think I should accept?”

“A chance like this only comes around once, and I can always hire someone if I need the help. Follow your dreams kiddo.” Emile said with an encouraging smile.

Logan bit his lip as he considered things. He really hadn’t thought today could get any better, then this happened. He was worried about leaving his dad, but Emile had told him to take this chance. And he was right about this being a once in a lifetime opportunity. Besides, Remy had said he could still visit the town on the weekends…

“Okay. I accept.”

---

A/N: thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed this. I'll be posting two chapters a day until the full fic is up, so if you want to be tagged, you can just ask. [Also, here's a link to chapter 1]

I'd love to hear what you thought about the chapter if you wouldn't mind commenting. Thanks again for reading! Here's hoping you have a magical day 💜

#sanderssides #sander sides #sanders sides fic #logan sanders #ts logan sanders #ts logan #remy sanders #emile picani #fantasy au #Thomas Sanders Sides Big Bang 2021 #food mention tw

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cloveroctobers · 3 years

Text

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

#litg #litg allegra #litg headcanons #litg headcanon #litg moodboard #litg mason #litg Tim #litg jake #litg jen #litg erikah #litg mc #litg oc #had to make to drama filled since s1 did us right along with s2 #I do feel like Allegra bettered? herself after the show and stand by that #I still laugh when I see her character in my head and the fact that someone said she looks like the bride of chucky #anyways I like giving people the benefit of the doubt and I think ppl like her better than Lucy? lmao so this is for y’all allegra stans #decided to give s3 a break and play s1 again hope that’s cool lol #also no longer doing celeb crush/music choices anymore cause I’ve run out? lol alright bye!

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soupsnakessss · 4 years

Note

Since their rs is clearly complicated- how do you think his rs w the kids plays out? Like so you think he’s bio dad but goes by godfather only publicly? Or does he do godfather/super close uncle thing w the kids instead of a father role? Like trying to think how tbis works... do you think originally it was more of an oops that then evolved or was it like be my speed donor except for thr conception lol. I can’t see him playing traditional “dad” role but them lying calling him godfather to public

Alright here is my entire opinion on this and them for everyone wondering: I’m well aware that some people think I have no idea what I’m talking about, but I will just say that this is based off of years and years of closely observing Mindy and BJ. I do not know them personally but even this blog for instance goes back for years. I’ve been watching them for a long time and have seen the ebbs and flows of their relationship and the big fights and makeups they’ve had. I’ve also learned some things about them that is also informing this whole answer and I can’t share it for their privacy; I know that sounds annoying as hell, but it’s the truth. But people can think whatever they want.

I think Kit was an oops baby. Mindy has stated that the pregnancy was unplanned. Mindy and BJ have both said they wanted children so there’s a chance they knew what they were doing when it happened and basically feigned the “oops”, but more or less yes I think she was an accident. I think Mindy and BJ’s relationship didn’t stabilize enough during the pregnancy for Mindy especially to feel comfortable telling people it’s BJ. They should’ve been ready to finally have children together but one thing I have observed is Mindy and BJ basically seeming to have the same romantic relationship they have always had, even after becoming pregnant. It’s a little disappointing, yes.

I think my biggest point to everyone wondering about them and thinking that I am either insane to say BJ is the father, or it simply just doesn’t add up, is this: Mindy and BJ having babies together did not magically fix their complicated relationship. Everyone knows in general babies don’t fix things with people and as much as we all want to believe that they are now living happily ever after... it’s more complicated than that and not all sunshine and rainbows.

However, that doesn’t discount that there has been a very visible change in how close Mindy and BJ got after Kit was born. Things absolutely changed in that way, they are legitimately tied to each other now and it shows. BJ is at Mindy’s house more often than not honestly, and if anyone pays this close of attention, he has MK on notifications and usually likes her instagrams instantly. Like he’s obsessed with Mindy. It’s not even worth ever commenting on now because of how often he does that. Mindy said BJ comes over on Mother’s Day. They spend Christmas together every year, and Mindy is now celebrating Jewish holidays like Passover and Rosh Hashanah, even though she’s never explained why.

I think Spencer was probably somewhat planned. Kit is almost three years old, this is when they would want to give her a sibling and I’m sure they wanted one for her. Their relationship seems messy to put it lightly but I think they knew they wanted another baby regardless.

I think it’s much easier for Mindy to put up the facade of being a strong single mother (which she is! MK is amazing) than to be vulnerable enough to admit that her and BJ have kids together but their romantic relationship is more or less the same. People would also blame BJ for that a lot more than they would Mindy, and it’s two adults in a relationship so who knows why they are how they are. They don’t want all of that criticism.

BJ acts undoubtedly like the babies father even if they don’t call him that, because of how close they all are, how often he’s with them, (He immediately came home from shooting his film in New Mexico once Covid happened and posted stories from Mindys house. And Mindy states that he’s in her quarantine pod of less than ten people), he simply just is in the role of father for these kids. I’m assuming it’s going to cause issues for them in a couple years once the kids start asking both Mindy and BJ big questions, unless they get things more figured out.

I think Mindy and BJ love each other so deeply that it causes half of their problems and I do think they have a somewhat toxic relationship—they can’t put an end to each other romantically and so that means they go round and around with each other. But Kit and Spencer couldn’t possibly have a family with more love in it. They love these babies so much. They are all so lucky to have each other no matter what.

#i might delete later idk #mindy kaling #bj novak #ask

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sergeanttpoliteness · 4 years

Note

Spiderverse Gwen x Reader where The reader is out as les/bi/pan whatever and Gwen is scared to tell her she likes her?

AND➝ Gwen is ready to start letting people back into her life after the events of Spiderverse. MJ, aware of Gwen trying to open her social circle, tells her about a nice girl from her apartment building and brings the reader along at their next band practice to introduce her. Gwen sets eyes on her and is VEEEERY attracted to this VEEEERY pretty girl. In Gwen’s bisexual distress, she starts rambling nervously, and probably says something embarrassing about herself. MJ saves them from an awkward situation and starts band practice, Gwen doesn’t see reader outside of school again after that, but Gwen shamelessly stares at her during class. Gwen starts to overthink the situation and gets worried she blew her chance. Later, there’s a situation that she as Spider-Gwen saves reader from. Reader is minorly hurt but SG has to go before she can help reader as authorities arrive. Feeling guilty, her spider sense leads SG to the reader’s apartment, she goes to check on her that night. Confident with her mask on, she strikes up a conversation, compliments her and even drops a bit of a flirty remark about reader before taking her leave. I didnt know where to go from there I’m new to requesting so I hope this isn’t too long but I hope that’ll be enough to get the ball rolling? -🍀

deeply sorry it took me so long to get to these again! i changed a few things, but it’s pretty much still the same idea. i hope the nonnie who requested this finds it and doesn’t think i ignored them :( ily, y’all deserve better.

——-

➹she plays bass➹(spider-gwen x fem!reader)

That feeling when there’s a cute girl who plays bass in your band and you don’t know what the hell to do about it.

Gwen needs help figuring out her feelings. Like, immediately.

word count: 11.6k (oops i did it again)

a/n: i’m sorry this new fic is the size of the bible like the last one, i’ll try to make the next one shorter lmaooo. but it’s what my fave girl deserves due to the unacceptable lack of stories about her on this site. plus, i swear that once you read it it’s so much shorter than it seems. i’m hoping i can post at least one more story before the end of the year, but if i don’t, happy holidays and new year ! y’all were the best part about my 2019 :) hope whoever is reading this has a lovely week. mwah.

warnings: violence, guns, swearing.

——-

She played bass.

You played bass, to be more specific. And Mary Jane Watson took satisfaction in believing that she was nice. More than simply ‘just nice’ on good days, even. Being the most courteous person was a duty she considered to be hers ever since she was six-years-old and accompanied that girl who always seemed to be left behind in the playground, and years later, in high school when she punched a creep hassling one of her bandmates. Last but most certainly not least, Betty Brant, bass guitar player of the Mary Janes, slipped and fell backwards one unfortunate evening, and she shot out her left arm behind her to break the fall and save her ice cream from hitting the ground. Good news: her ice cream did not hit the ground. Bad news, however, her left hand did— in an odd, twisted position. Needless to say, Betty Brant now had a broken wrist.

At first glance, they’re all unrelated events, stars belonging to separate constellations, and they would have remained so— undisturbed, simply coexisting in the same sky. That was, until Gwen came into the picture and drew a line connecting the bright flecks when she opened her mouth.

In the moment that she admitted to MJ that the idea of meeting new people sounded more appealing each day, she scribbled down the equation in her bandmate’s brain and hit ‘solve’. The redhead’s face lit up, putting to shame a Christmas tree as that sense of responsibility called for her attention. Immediately, she felt obligated to make the Nobel Peace prize-worthy move of texting her neighbor she just met, who also played the bass, to join them on the coming Saturday for band practice. That night, as she prepared to go to sleep, Em Jay cracked an accomplished smile at the reflection in her mirror.

However, two weeks had passed since your first practice with the Mary Janes, and MJ’s pride dove off from where it sat on her shoulder as she observed from afar with furrowed brows how Gwen so fucking blatantly ignored you after you tried to give her a high five.

“What the hell was that?!” She hissed at Glory who stood beside her, cringing as you awkwardly dropped your hand and turned away from Gwen. Sighing, MJ rubbed her face with sheer desperation— a rather drastically different action from her naïve smile many nights ago. “I put an opportunity right on her fucking lap to make a friend, and she can’t act like a nice normal human being!”

Glory bit the inside of her cheek, sporting her own grimace. “I dunno, maybe they’ll click soon—”

“It’s been two weeks, Glory!” MJ whined. She crossed her arms across her chest, eyes narrowing into concentrated slits, and her gaze returned to an oblivious Gwen who shot at your back what she thought in her mind was a discreet glance. “I can’t let this fail. I gotta step in.” Glory raised a brow.

“Or you could just, you know, let them get to know each other at their own pace?“

“That’s dumb.”

Glory opened her mouth but gave up immediately, seeing MJ’s persistence as a lost cause she, in all honesty, did not want to waste any energy battling against that day. “Follow my lead,” MJ elbowed her, winking before she caught Gwen’s and your attention. “Who wants pizza? I do, and so does Glory. You guys want to go out and eat?“

“I don’t really feel like going out.”

“Glory, what the fuck?” MJ said under her breath, but later shook her head, a smile stretching across her face. “It’s fine! We’ll just go get it and we can eat here."

Glory frowned. "But—”

“I mean, sure. I’m definitely in the mood for pizza.” You shrugged, the corner of your mouth lifting upwards. Gwen, however, eyed Glory with suspicion, who in return flashed her an apologetic smile. MJ clapped her hands together, cheering.

“Great!” She grabbed Glory’s hand and dragged her out of the room, glancing back at the two other girls. “We’ll be back in fifteen!”

Not even five seconds passed after they closed the door before you jumped off the couch and muttered to Gwen that you were going to the bathroom, an action that Gwen chose not to spend any time analyzing for her own sanity; but even if she had decided to, the ringing of her phone would’ve interrupted her nonetheless. After she took out her phone and saw MJ’s contact name, she let out the longest sigh in her entire seventeen years of living.

“Couldn’t you have just called for the pizza?” She went straight to the point— no greeting or anything, which left MJ stumped for three seconds, and surprised she had caught onto what was going on in record time.

“No, otherwise my plan wouldn’t have worked. You’re welcome, by the way.”

“What plan and why am I welcome?”

MJ scoffed. “I’m giving you another chance to talk to Y/N, seeing as you completely blew every other one you had.” Gwen perked one eyebrow, confused.

“How come?”

“She tried to give you a high-five and you left her hanging, Gwendolyn.” She said with an obvious tone. “And that’s just one example of many.”

Gwen sat straight, her eyes growing wide. “Wait, I did?”

“Yes, you fucking idiot!” Gwen shut her eyes closed, covering her face with her hand. “How did you not notice, it’s so painfully obvious she’s trying to be your friend but you’ve gained the award of dickhead of the day.”

Gwen rolled her eyes, although let out an amused huff of air through her nose. “Did Glory agree to this little plan of yours?”

MJ took a moment of silence. “No, but her opinion doesn’t really matter right now.”

“Yeah, I bet she didn’t, because it’s fucking stupid, Mary Jane.”

“Em Jay.”

“You called me Gwendolyn.”

“Whatever,” MJ grumbled, “you asked for this, Gwen. Be thankful, ‘cause I’m really tryin’ here.”

Gwen heard you flush the toilet, and not too long after, the sound of the faucet running. “Hell, okay, fine.” She whispered into the phone. “She’s coming, I have to go.” Before MJ could utter a word, she ended the call right as you walked out of the bathroom and flashed her a tight-lipped smile. You sat back down on the couch, an obvious distance between you two. More time passed while you hunched over your cellphone and Gwen eyed you sideways, gripping her hands together in between her knees, her heart speeding up each time she dared to speak up, and her face heating up albeit she hadn’t directed a word at you yet.

She cleared her throat. “So!”

You made eye contact with her and she felt obligated to flash you a nervous smile after the silence continued. Eventually, the corner of your mouth lifted upwards. “So what?” You questioned, curious. Gwen’s smile gradually fell. She should’ve contemplated what she was going to say first before she spoke.

“…What’s your favorite pizza topping?” Gwen hit herself mentally. There literally was no excuse for why she was acting like this— hell, she herself couldn’t even find one. But, on the bright side (however, perhaps not so much for Gwen), whilst the girl was sure this was an agonizing and slow death from embarrassment, your amused grin widened with her visible anxiety.

“I don’t know. There’s a lot of options.” You shrugged, your attention moving back to your device. Gwen considered leaving you alone, seeing as this conversation very obviously wasn’t going anywhere, but that option disintegrated as soon as she imagined Em Jay intentionally delaying her arrival with Glory and the pizza so she could take full advantage of her ‘chance’, which she was ninety-nine percent sure was the case.

“I really like pepperoni.” She blurted out. Your eyes momentarily traveled up to Gwen and you pursed your lips, nodding slowly.

“Cool.”

My God, you really were not collaborating even an ounce— it was a reach, but it was as if you were voluntarily trying to make this as difficult and socially traumatizing for Gwen as possible. Gwen scratched her head, searching for more conversation ideas, but her brain remained as empty as a desert in the middle of nowhere, except for the one tumbleweed happily rolling along its way which was her last idea, and the main purpose of this sad conversation.

“I’m really sorry for that high-five you tried to give me earlier,” Gwen muttered, incapable of looking at you straight in the eye for long. “Em Jay just told me about it.”

Finally, you tore your concentration away from your phone and focused on Gwen. You didn’t know whether it was the seriousness of her voice combined with the absurdity of the sentence, but you found yourself struggling to hold back your giggles. Gwen’s eyebrows twisted with puzzlement as she saw your blushing cheeks and you biting your lip hard, your shoulders shaking ever so slightly.

“That’s… adorable. It’s alright. It happens to all of us, I guess.” You laughed out. In Gwen’s never-ending humiliation, she couldn’t discern your expression from simple amusement or judgment.

Gwen stuttered, brushing her hair behind her ear. “Okay, cool. I-I just didn’t want you to think that I hated you or something like that.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I did not.”

“Good. Because I don’t. Obviously.” She continued, forcing out a chuckle. “I really don’t.”

You smiled hesitantly. “Again… don’t worry, I get it—”

“I just, I wasn’t paying attention to you.” Gwen clarified but closed her mouth immediately, regret drying her throat. You pressed your lips into a straight line. “But I don’t mean that in a rude way, hah. I’m always looking at you.” She dug herself deeper and her eyes grew wide, a tense cough fleeing past her lips after you raised your brows.

“I mean, no, I’m not always looking at you, like, staring, but like, looking forward to whatever you have to say…?” She talked slowly, questioning her own words. “Why would I look at you, anyway?” Ah, fuck, that’s not what she meant.

Your expression transformed into an offended look and she rushed to correct herself. “No! I mean— you’re, like, very, very pretty, don’t get me wrong.” She let out a frustrated sigh, “Again, I don’t mean that in a weird way, I just—”

“Okay! I get it.” You stopped her and stood up, pointing at your phone. “I have to go, it’s pretty late, so I won’t be able to eat with you guys, but, uh… thanks anyway. Maybe next time.” You explained, uncomfortable. You both dubiously gestured goodbye to each other before you nearly ran out of the door.

From then on, Gwen kind of wanted to hide in her room for the rest of her life, or at least from you; but sadly, she couldn’t do either. She could’ve moved on and just let it be a memory she could laugh about in the future, but she couldn’t hide what had happened to MJ— she retold her and Glory the encounter, and the trauma returned as Glory burst out laughing right in her face and Em Jay simply stared at her like a disappointed mother. Again, she really was determined to forget the whole ordeal, but later in the evening, when all she wanted to do was plop down on her bed and call it a night after another day of patrol, she answered her landline only for her ears to be attacked with MJ’s pleas for her to go fix things since ‘she was so embarrassed for her she literally couldn’t go to sleep’. Gwen hung up on her.

As she originally had intended before MJ disrupted her night, Gwen jumped onto her bed and rolled onto her back, promising in her head that she’d take off her suit in a minute. She stared up at the ceiling for longer than a minute, thinking about MJ’s words. What was the point in going to apologize to you again, anyway? Gwen wasn’t going to do it simply to please her. MJ could gladly go and shove her microphone up her—

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Gwen said to herself as she stood outside your school building. She looked down at her watch. She could’ve been doing so much right then. Someone was probably getting murdered, or a robbery was going on, and she had homework to finish, but she was wasting her time waiting in front of a school like the creep of the block. However, she thought she might as well stick to it in the instant that students began to swarm out of the entrance doors.

She considered leaving. It was her first thought when she ultimately saw you walking amongst the crowd, talking to your friends. You hadn’t noticed her. It wouldn’t make a difference if she spun and ran out of there, like a scared child fleeing from the monster living in her closet. You turned your gaze away from your friend whilst laughing, and similar to the demon (no offense) peeking through the slit in between the closet doors, you found yourself staring into a familiar pair of blue eyes.

There was no going back.

Gwen breathed in profoundly and flashed you a sheepish smile, waving weakly with her shoulders raised. She watched you say goodbye to your friends before you hesitantly approached her, your eyebrow lifted in a questioning manner. “Gwen?”

“Yup. That’s me, hah…” She moved her hair away from her face after the wind disheveled it, brushing it behind her ear as she avoided your eyes. “I know you’re wondering—”

“What you’re doing here? Yes, yes I am.” You said, the humor distinctive in your voice, but Gwen scrunched up her nose, shaking her head.

“Don’t worry, I’m not… stalking you,” She laughed nervously and stopped herself before history repeated itself. “I would’ve texted you, but my phone…” Now has a bullet hole. “Broke. Em Jay told me I could meet you here.”

You folded your arms across your chest, shifting your weight to one leg. “Well, I’m here, you’re here, so what’s up? Did you want to continue talking about how you don’t pay attention to me?” You joked, tilting your head.

Gwen winced slightly, cringing. “Actually, no.”

“Okay, good.”

“I came here to apologize. A real apology this time.”

You let your arms drop by your sides, interested and waiting for what she had to say. “I was really awkward. Painfully awkward, and I made you uncomfortable. So, I was hoping that we could maybe… start over again?” She held out her hand.

You briefly glanced down at it before glancing back up at her biting her lip anxiously. You giggled, nodding. “You’re so dramatic, dude.”

You shook her hand.

“So… we’re good?”

You smiled. “We’re good.” Gwen grinned back, her tooth gap having a peculiar effect in your stomach. She peeked at her watch a second time with the intent of leaving; but before she could say goodbye, you adjusted your backpack straps and spoke up. “Actually… now that you’re here, how about we go get something to eat?”

Gwen blinked, her finger coming up to point at her chest. “M-me? And you?” You agreed with your head, laughing.

“Obviously, you dummy. I don’t see anyone else here.” You playfully punched her arm and she looked down at the spot, her eyes narrowed.

Ah, well. There was no going back.

If there was one thing, one enemy that constantly played with Gwen’s sanity, time was a top-three candidate which popped into her head immediately. Popped wasn’t perhaps even the correct word, for it remained there everlastingly as a nagging fear— a deafening, continuous tick-tock reminding her of how little, or what a painstaking amount of time she had in her hands, and all the things she could or could not do during it. Being Spider-Woman, pages and pages of school work, the Mary Janes, Mary Jane and Gwen’s duty to answer her messages the moment she received them, her aspirations, her dad— it messed with her brain, tangled all the connections into an indestructible knot she could purely helplessly stare at. But when she read the time and realized how late it had become, the panic merely bubbled and spread in her chest. Rather you laughed and she felt the necessity to look away from the numbers to focus on you, despite the tick-tock still present and blaring like a tsunami alert in her ears.

You sat facing her in the restaurant booth, smirking as you bit into a french fry. “You know, I gotta say, you impressed me quite a lot with your drumming.” Gwen bashfully moved a piece of lettuce around her plate, propping her chin upon the palm of her hand.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She shrugged, smiling at you. You maintained your gaze on her for a moment until you shook yourself out of your odd trance, lowering your head.

“Thanks for hanging out with me. I was tired of hanging out with myself, you know?”

Gwen furrowed her brows, adamant on fixing her look on the most boring stray lettuce ever. “Why? You’re a fun person.”

“Really? ‘Cause it doesn’t seem like that’s what you think about me.” You teased her, masking the undeniable bit of hurt.

Gwen’s finger’s movements came to a halt and she placed her hands on the table, leaning towards you. “What?! What do you mean?”

“Alright, then what do you really think about me?” You put your elbows on the hard surface and mimicked Gwen, a crooked smile adorning your features. Gwen bit her lip in thought, raising one shoulder.

“You’re cool.” She said simply, trying to appear nonchalant. An ‘oof’ slipped past your lips and you clutched onto your chest, dramatizing the insulted expression.

“That’s it? Just cool? I’m a bit hurt.”

Gwen rolled her eyes, laughing. “What else do you want me to say?”

“I dunno, last time you said I was— and I quote— ‘very, very pretty’” You recalled, using air quotes. Gwen scratched her eyebrow, left blank on what to reply because— oh, yeah right— she did, in fact, say that.

The smugness lingered on your face as you waited for her to break down and repeat herself, but she composed herself and cleared her throat. “Hey, it’s not fair if you’re the only one asking questions! Being interviewed is hard work, you know.” She raised her hands defensively, her eyebrows lifted. You immediately caught onto what she was doing and pointed an accusing finger at her.

“You’re avoiding my question.”

“Well, where’s the fun in knowing all the answers to the universe?”

You had to agree. But you leaned back and crossed one leg over the other, accidentally (or was it?) nudging her leg with your foot. “I don’t know. I like honesty.”

Oh dear, Gwen narrowed her eyes, her chest throbbing. “Hey—” The both of you jumped and looked at the source of the greeting— neither of you knew when exactly, but the waiter stood there with a polite smile, holding three menus close to his stomach. “Just letting y’all know that since Valentine’s Day is coming up, the milkshakes are on discount for couples.” Gwen leaned far away from the table, from you, and let out an uncomfortable chuckle.

“Oh, no, we’re not—”

“Oh, great!” You exclaimed and grabbed Gwen’s hand. “Do you want to share one, babe?”

Gwen froze, her shoulders and the hand you clutched onto tense, prickling at your touch. You looked at her attentively, and your lovey-dovey eyes left her stunned, grabbed onto her voice and trapped it in her throat— intimidated her. She had to give it to you, though, your acting could fool anyone or leave anyone wondering…especially her.

Seeing as the seconds continued to pass and she never replied, you chose to take it as a sign that she was following you and you glanced up at the waiter. “We’d like a vanilla milkshake, please.” You smiled.

Following the waiter’s departure, Gwen looked at you surprised. “I thought you liked honesty?” She laughed in disbelief, pretending to judge you intensely. You innocently picked up another fry, hiding your growing beam.

“Hey, I’m not gonna turn down a discount.”

Gwen giggled, shaking her head. “Fair enough. But you’re crazy.”

“But you still love me, right babe?” You smirked and lifted your connected hands. When Gwen realized she hadn’t let go yet, she first thought about pulling away. But she didn’t. Instead, she timidly squeezed your hand, forcing out a scoff.

“Right. Of course, babe.”

Finally, you unclasped your hands and Gwen’s hand slowly curled into a fist as she considered something. “Hey, where are you headed after this?” She rushed out. You tilted your head.

“Home. Why?”

She swallowed her nerves, thinking about dismissing her own question and shrugging it off. She had to get back home as well, after all.

But she didn’t want to yet.

“Can I walk you back?”

The walk back to your place dragged on for longer than usual, and you both pretended to act shocked, as if it’d been a glitch in the matrix and time ticked away slower than normal; but in the back of your heads, the two of you knew it’d been no accident, that you weren’t too engulfed into your conversation enough that you ended up taking the long way back home without noticing. Perhaps the two of you wandered longer, slowed down your pace much more than necessary— clung onto the moon and kept it in its place in the sky with your excuses so the night would stay, last as much as you wanted it to. Your efforts were partly successful, but of course, it had to come to an end eventually.

Your meetings didn’t, though. No, they were just getting started.

On Valentine’s Day, you might have taken advantage of another discount for couples, but no one really needed to know that. After that day and after Gwen finally got a new phone (it took her a few days to tell her dad, since she knew he wouldn’t be the happiest once he heard how her phone got destroyed in the first place), you sent her a message which she couldn’t deny made her insides feel a type of way: ‘If you ever need a fake date, don’t hesitate in calling me’.

And a winky face. She couldn’t forget the winky face.

But, in all truth, neither of you needed a ‘fake date’ as a reason to see each other. Every once in awhile, Thursday and Saturday after band practice, the two of you would abandon the girls and simply hang out. It didn’t matter where— sometimes you didn’t even have a place in mind, but somehow, gladly for your brain fearing rejection, Gwen would agree nonetheless. She didn’t think much about it until one afternoon, once you were done telling a bad joke that embarrassingly enough made her laugh, she realized she hadn’t checked the time. Not once.

During band practice, MJ and Glory noted that something had changed. Mainly because they soon realized they hadn’t witnessed any new embarrassing events between you two for them to laugh at behind your backs in a while, but your peeks at each other weren’t fearful anymore. They were now… something which they couldn’t place their finger on, but it was different enough for them to share a look and raise their eyebrows. Naturally, it didn’t take long before Em Jay had to jam herself into your affairs and asked you what you thought about Gwen, using as a justification that you had gotten a month and a half to get to know the band.

If Gwen could’ve gotten the opportunity to travel back in time to step in and prevent Em Jay from getting close to you with her blabbering mouth, she would’ve taken it immediately.

“When were you going to tell me you two fucking knew each other?!” MJ’s shriek hurt Gwen’s ears and left her speechless for a few moments after she walked into the room. Then, she succeeded in processing her question through her brain, and her face was now considerably paler than before.

“Hello to you too?”

MJ glared at her and walked away from her. While she moved around the many cables on the floor with her foot, Gwen dropped her backpack near the door, eyeing her. “How do you know?”

“I talked to Y/N.” She simply responded. Gwen huffed, unbelieving, and crossed her arms.

“And why did you talk to her?”

MJ gave her an obvious look. “Because, uh, she’s my bandmate? And my friend?” Gwen rolled her eyes and crouched down to take her drumsticks from her bag; meanwhile, Em Jay wasn’t over the topic yet. “I can’t believe you kept that from me. Unbelievable. I’m the only one who knows about your little spider secret!” She threw her hands in the air, as if her attitude wasn’t already dramatic enough. Gwen looked up at her with squinted eyes.

“Because you found out on accident. Did you also tell her about that?” She scoffed, standing up. Em Jay followed her to the drums, pursing her lips.

“No. She wouldn’t believe me anyway. But in my defense, Glory and Betty never do either, so you’ve literally got nothing to worry about.”

Gwen sat down on the drum stool. “We met last year, but we never became friends, though. We’re just acquaintances, I’m sorry. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Em Jay shrugged, her expression unchanging. “Yeah, I guess. Now I’m embarrassed for you again, though. You have to apologize to her.”

Gwen’s mouth hung slightly open. “I already apologized twice! Why would I do it again?!”

“You acted as if you didn’t know her when you first met! Like, who does that?” However, before Gwen could explain herself, you and Glory walked through the door, carrying your instruments plus a milkshake in your hand.

“Sup.” Glory nodded her head at the two girls. MJ shot finger guns at her and you walked up to Gwen before you stretched out your arm, holding the milkshake up to her face.

Gwen quirked a brow. “What’s this?”

“I got you a milkshake, babe.” You joked, smirking. Gwen’s cheeks and ears reddened and she hesitantly accepted it, her mouth twitching. “Since we haven’t had the chance to hang out in a while.”

MJ and Glory shared another of their looks, the one with which they telepathically communicated with. After you left Gwen, MJ kneeled down beside her, grinning knowingly.

“She told me she thinks you’re great, dude. Do whatever you want with that information.”

Gwen chose not to do anything with it. At least not for now.

Summer break came along to free Gwen from the suffocating hold school had around her neck, and more importantly, to give her time to focus on patrolling, the Mary Janes, and, well, you. Texting you in the morning, texting you at noon, texting you in the afternoon after she managed to stop a robbery at Junction Boulevard, texting you at night; and she couldn’t forget, of course, spending time with you whenever you could. How could she forget? It seemed almost impossible now, for you had implemented yourself into her routine, but she couldn’t quite pinpoint in what moment. She didn’t even come upon the realization until you left the state for a week, and she found herself waiting for your texts.

However, once you returned and the band reunited, Em Jay wasted no time and suggested having a ‘girl’s night’ at her place, claiming it wasn’t because she ‘missed you all, or anything, but for band-bonding’. She sent you and Gwen to the store to buy snacks (and, unsurprisingly for Gwen, winked at Glory as you two walked out of the door), and right now you both stood in front of the freezers, Gwen observing you as you put all your concentration, your tongue poking out of your mouth, on combining two sodas into an empty water bottle. Gwen gagged dramatically, laughter escaping her throat nonetheless. “That’s fucking gross, man.” She grimaced while you giggled maniacally.

The new beverage fizzled and you analyzed it closely, your eyes following the bubbles dancing in the liquid. “I can’t believe they sell bacon and ranch dressing soda here. This place is nuts.”

“And you’re mixing them together.”

“You could say I’m a scientist.”

Gwen scoffed at your statement, a grin lingering on her face. You sniffed the soda, and held it up to her face. “Do you want to try it?”

Gwen pushed the bottle away with her finger, wrinkling her nose. “You could have me at gunpoint and I still wouldn’t try it.”

You pouted, screwing the cap closed. “Okay, your loss, I guess. I’ll have it here just in case you change your mind.” You waved the bottle and placed it on a shelf before you kneeled down to inspect the bags of marshmallows. Gwen shook her head, her smile reaching her eyes.

“Trust me, I won’t.”

You picked up a bag, eyeing her sideways. “You know what?” You stole back her attention and she hummed, tilting her head. “You’re my favorite member in the band.”

Gwen’s face softened, although she wondered if she was crazy, or if her hands were all of a sudden clammy. “Me? Your… your favorite?” She asked, her voice small. You looked down, hoping she couldn’t see your timid expression.

“Yeah. I mean, no offense to Em Jay or Glory— they’re both awesome, but… I really like you, Gwen Stacy.” You shared eye contact, the corner of your mouth quirking up.

Gwen searched for something to distract herself with, and wound up snatching a random bag of gummies and pretending to read the ingredients. “Are you just trying to get me to pay for all of this?” She joked, gesturing to the casket of food. You let out a dramatic sigh, grumpily looking away from her.

“Aw, man, you caught me.” You made a sad face, but it was fleeting. “…But, no. I mean it. For real.”

Gwen bit her lip, her face the shade of the cherry candy in her hands. “Yeah, well… you’re pretty cool as well, Y/N L/N.” She copied you, shrugging. You groaned in annoyance, staring heavenward.

“Don’t give me that ‘you’re cool’ bullshit again.” You warned, mocking her voice and she giggled, placing the candy back in its place.

“What? It’s the truth!”

“Is that really all you think of me?” You feigned disappointment, playing with her.

No. Most definitely not. Gwen had grown to form many opinions about you other than solely ‘just cool’. Her thoughts varied. Sometimes she liked the way you made her laugh so effortlessly. Other times she couldn’t wrap her head around how, with you, the concept of time was both nonexistent and eternal, a concept you took its meaning away from, for it became irrelevant. She loved how you played bass, and how you gave it a voice, personified it into a dancing body that mesmerized her. She liked the way the corners of your eyes crinkled when you smiled, and how you tilted your head sometimes when you were confused like a puppy. She liked your way of talking, your hair, how you dressed, your posture, your face and the flaws in your skin.

Maybe she really liked you. And that scared her.

When she didn’t answer, you gave up and stood up, stretching your legs. “Okay, at least I’m glad you think I’m cool. It’s what I’d expect from my fake girlfriend.” You winked at her playfully, but she wasn’t fully paying attention now. “Okay, last question, though—”

Gwen sighed, her shoulders dropping. “What now?” You moved your arms behind your back, drawing a circle with the tip of your shoe on the floor.

“You never answered if you really think that I’m pretty.”

Gwen almost choked. She thought she had escaped that question months ago. Without thinking, her gaze landed on the soda hybrid sitting on the shelf and she grabbed it. You didn’t know what was happening in front of you until Gwen was sputtering after taking a big gulp of the drink. “What the fuck?! Why did you do that!” You gasped, your eyes wide and the laughter daring to climb up your throat.

Gwen stuck her tongue out and coughed, her face scrunching up with regret. “If I drink the soda then I don’t have to answer the question.” You couldn’t believe she was willing to do anything instead of giving you an answer.

You doubled over, cackling and holding your stomach. “Since when is that a rule?!”

“Since now.”

For the record, Gwen did think you were pretty. Very, very pretty.

As time went by, Gwen couldn’t help but stare during practice. Stare at your fingers, sliding down and up the neck with ease; your head, nodding along to the music, lost in it enough that you didn’t notice the obvious ogling from her part. And your face. She tried focusing on it most of the time, but it resulted a lot more difficult than she originally expected. You either moved it too much whilst you played, or you faced away from her since—well— she did play the drums.

There was also the third reason. The unsettling burn in her chest that sped up her breathing if her mind went too far, which occurred if she thought about you too much. Too deeply. But, God, did she try, and God, did she take advantage of every time you looked back at her, because you inexplicably dissolved that uneasiness in her.

Late at night, with your blankets wrapped around you tightly, you stared at your phone screen, mindlessly scrolling and double-tapping every picture you came upon. Not a minute passed before you opened a conversation, however, perhaps for the fourth time— not that it was anyone’s business, anyway— awaiting for another text. Gwen’s text, to be more specific. You didn’t want to come off as obsessive, but it had been an hour and thirteen minutes yet she hadn’t responded, and you… were missing her? You shook your head. Well. There was a possibility that you were. Maybe, you couldn’t get her off your mind, and maybe, you wished you could simply think about her and she’d integrate right there in your bedroom—

A knock on the window disrupted your train of thought, and as if on cue, a notification rang from your phone. ‘It’s me’, you read. Gwen had sent the message. “What the fuck?” You muttered, confused. Needing to see it for yourself, you jumped out of your bed and ran to your window before you unlatched the window lock and slid it open.

Of course, as the text message said, it was indeed Gwen, in your fire escape, and not a prank she elaborated to scare the life out of you. “Hi.” Was all she said. You tilted your head, your brows knitted together.

“Hi? Is that all you’re going to say?”

She thought for a second. “…How are you?”

“What are you doing in my fire escape?”

“I got locked out of my house.” She shrugged.

You let out a huff of air in disbelief, moving out of the way so she could climb inside. As she threw one leg over the sill, you placed your hands on your hips, shaking your head. “You get locked out of your house, and the first place that comes to your mind is my place?” You questioned, amused. Yet again, Gwen raised and dropped her shoulders. You went to close the window, but not before glancing out, imagining all the struggle she must’ve gone through to lower the ladder and then climb up five stories. “And how the hell did you even get all the way up here?” You muttered to yourself, but Gwen heard it.

“It’s a fire escape, my dear. They’re there to, you know, get out of the building so you don’t die if there’s a fire?”

You rolled your eyes and sat down on your bed. “Okay, just be quiet, ‘cause I don’t think my family would be very happy about having an unexpected visitor this late.” Guilt sculpted Gwen’s countenance.

“I mean… I can leave if you want—”

“No.” You said quickly, too fast for your liking, actually. You cleared your throat and smiled, patting the area beside you. “No, it’s alright. You can stay however long you want. They don’t have to find out.” You waggled your eyebrows jokingly. She was grateful the sole lamp rested on your bedside table, far away from you and its amber touch embracing you alone, for she didn’t need you seeing the blood rapidly rushing to her warm face.

Gwen sat down where you motioned her to, although kept some distance, and squeezed her hands resting on her lap together. “Thanks… it’ll just be a while. My dad had an emergency, and I really don’t know when he’ll be back, so…” She explained and popped her mouth after her sentence died out. You nodded understandingly, shuffling somewhat closer to her.

“I’m glad you came here. I wouldn’t want you staying out there and freezing to death. Plus, I was pretty bored.”

Gwen raised a brow. “Bored? Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping?”

You scoffed with a faint smile. “Shut up, hypocrite. You were out so late that you got left out of your house.”

“I was busy!”

“Doing what? Selling drugs?”

“Maybe. You’ll never know.”

You began to fan yourself. “Ooh, a drug lord, so hot.”

Gwen scrunched up her nose, giving you a judgemental look. “Is that what turns you on? Drug lords?”

“Nah, that’s not quite it…” You glanced at her out of the corner of your eye before your gaze shifted to your lap, your fingers playing with the hem of your shirt.

Gwen didn’t know whether she was reaching— but oh. She didn’t know what courage the universe granted her, either, for she then focused on her nails and pretended to be uninterested. “Huh, then what does turn you on?” Your eyebrows almost reached your hairline in surprise, but you quickly composed yourself.

“Why do you want to know?” You asked, leaning closer to her. She shrugged one shoulder.

“I mean, you never know. What if a friend of mine wanted to ask you out?”

You bit your lip. “Depends. Is she cute?”

“I never specified their gender. And it’s theoretical.” She cleared up, raising one finger. You laughed, moving even closer to her.

“Well, then, I really like blue eyes.”

“…Really?” Her shy voice made your organs jump, which you didn’t know if it was normal or a serious medical condition you should get checked out. You hummed, holding yourself up with your arms behind you. “They’re cool, I guess.” Again, she tried to sound as if she didn’t care, or as if your comment didn’t make her as happy as it secretly did.

“Short hair is also pretty cute.” You added. “Especially if it’s a cool hairstyle.”

“A cool… a cool hairstyle, huh? What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.” Gwen now knew how frustrated you felt when she avoided your questions. “What about you?” You looked at her, insecurity threatening to overpower your current confidence.

“Oh. I don’t know. Musicians are hot.” She showed you a crooked smile. You wanted to squeal, embarrassingly enough.

“Do you like bass guitar players?” A bold move, indeed. Gwen faked entering deep into thought.

“…Eh, I think drummers are hotter.”

You shoved her playfully, laughing. “Rude!”

“Hey, you asked what I liked.” You both giggled, struggling to keep your noises down, but eventually, your laughter dissipated and she played with her fingers. “But bass players are pretty cute, too.”

You gulped, Gwen’s shoulder touching yours spiking your nerves. “Yeah, well, I agree that drummers are cute, too.”

You both glanced down at each other’s lips, holding your breaths. However, before you could do anything, Gwen got to her feet. “You should try getting some sleep. I don’t want you being sleep deprived because of me.” She laughed nervously, taking off her sneakers.

Disappointment invaded your brain, but admittedly, your eyes did feel a lot heavier than before. “What are you gonna do?” You questioned, remembering her situation. You definitely were more worried than her, who was unfazed.

“I’ll just wait I guess.”

“You should catch some Z’s as well.”

Gwen didn’t argue. She climbed into bed with you, although insisted she didn’t need any covers or blankets since she was just going to take a nap. After that, you couldn’t resist the sleep threatening to spread through your system and you passed out. It felt like minutes passed at most, until you were suddenly gently shaken awake.

You fought to open your eyes before you squinted and looked up at whoever had woken you up. Slowly, the indistinguishable figure transformed into Gwen’s apologetic smile dimly lit by your bedside lamp.

“Hey, sleepyhead.”

You groaned, rubbing your bleary eyes and sitting up. “What time is it?” You croaked out. Gwen squinted to discern the numbers in her watch.

“Two in the morning.”

“Two in the morning?!” She nodded, laughing quietly. “Do you have to go?” You would’ve been embarrassed by the heartbreak in your voice, but you were too out of it to dwell on it.

“Yeah, but it’s okay, you can go back to sleep. I just wanted to let you know.”

You didn’t quite process what was going on until you saw her backing away to the window. Suddenly fully awake, your eyes widened and you threw your covers off of you. “What are you doing?”

Gwen opened the window and glanced back at you, lifting a brow. “Leaving?”

You yawned, shaking your finger at her. “No, no, no—” You rubbed your eye and laughed at her. “How about I lead you out of the door like a normal person?”

Gwen blushed, slowly closing the window. “Ah, well, I guess that’s an option.”

“I don’t want to wake anyone up, though, so just stay quiet, alright?” Gwen simply nodded and you wrapped your hand around her wrist, guiding her towards your bedroom door. You opened it as silently as you could, holding your breath, almost afraid that if you breathed, the entire house would be blown away. There’s only darkness, but you walked into it unbothered, while Gwen followed you like a loyal animal. Now that her sight was gone, she fully took in your touch as your soft hold tugged on her arm. You suddenly stopped and she mimicked you, patiently waiting for the sound of the unlocking of the door. However, all she picked up was the shuffling of your feet before you held in your breath. Then, she felt your other hand grab hers.

“Gwen?” You asked quietly, your voice so timid the darkness and the silence could’ve easily engulfed it. Without the view of your face, your skin against hers seemed too much, nearly unbearable.

“…Y-Yeah?”

“Can you see me?”

She shook her head, until she recalled that if she couldn’t see you, neither could you see her and the gesture was nothing more than useless. “Not really.”

“Okay. Cool.”

“Are you going to kill me?”

You giggled, and it didn’t knock over the walls, but it most definitely almost did her body. “No. Do you want me to?”

“Eh… no, thanks.”

“Ok, dork.” You chuckled, but it instantly came to an end. Your breathing wasn’t steady anymore— it trembled, sounded heavy. Then, out of nowhere: “If I kiss you, are you going to run away?”

Gwen just blinked. Despite the darkness, white dots exploded in her vision. “W-what?” Her voice almost failed her.

“Can I kiss you?”

In the room, there was nothing more. It was just your nervous breaths, your loud fridge, and Gwen’s heart. Her heart at full volume, pumping fast, doing its best to keep her awake, sane, on her feet. It was just you and her. Solely you, your gentle hands, and her. She blinked again.

“Okay.”

Your touch disappeared but then reappeared on her cheek, and absentmindedly, she placed her hand over yours. Your thumb, shaking, searched for her mouth, until it successfully brushed against her lips. Gwen gulped, her skin tingling as your breath fanned over it.

It was just you, her, and your lips. Your lips and her own.

You both remained with your eyes closed after your lips lost contact, although it didn’t make a difference in any way. But Gwen’s eyelids fluttered open, and a beam began to blossom.

“I’m glad you didn’t kill me.”

You kissed her a second time before she left.

It would be a criminal understatement to say that Gwen freaked out after she arrived back home. When she made the decision to start letting new friends into her life for good at the beginning of the year as another New Year’s resolution, she took a gigantic step. She then spoke to MJ, which was a leap in itself, and you joined the band. She stumbled, balanced herself on one foot at the edge for a while, but eventually, she managed to jump to the third step once she waited outside your school and apologized to you. She was convinced that would be it; the final and toughest stride, because if she managed to get past through all the previous ones, then it had to mean she was ready, right?

She was just finding out she was wrong, though.

The plan was to make a friend. A friend and nothing more nor nothing less. However, without being fully conscious of it, she continued to sprint up the stairs, past what her original intention was. And now, as she stared so far up at the next colossal step— at the feelings that kept growing for you, at your kiss, at you— she felt herself tipping backwards. There was no way she could climb that. She’d only slip and plummet down to her death.

Somehow, though, when you two agreed on meeting up at an arcade two days later, she decided she might as well go for it.

Gwen eyed the time for what she felt was the millionth time that day and her mask muffled the groan that followed. She had at least thirty minutes left of patrol and— she knew it was a dramatic statement— she didn’t know if she would be able to make it through them. I could call it a day earlier, she thought. It had been the most uneventful day lacking any major criminal activity, after all: all she did was help a little kid get back to his father and stop the usual theft, but other than that, she spent the day swinging around and even had the time to take a picture with a fan.

Her phone began to vibrate. You were calling her. “Hey… you…kid…” She cringed. How was she supposed to greet you from now on? Things weren’t the same.

She heard you snort at her hello. “Hi. Just wanted to tell you that I’m on my way.”

Gwen’s brows snapped together and she checked the time one more time. “Already? You’re early.”

“Yeah, I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to get started earlier so I don’t have to walk back home too late, but also so I can beat your ass and get more tickets than you.”

“Are you challenging me?”

“Not really, because I already know I’m gonna win.”

“Don’t sound so confident,” Gwen smiled and lied down on her back, staring up at the sky. “But if you do win, you better get me a prize.”

“Why would I get the loser a prize? I’m gonna get myself something cool and big and rub it in your face.”

Gwen scoffed but giggled nonetheless. All of a sudden, you went dead silent and she sat up, perking her ears for any further noise. “Y/N? Are you still there?”

It took you a few seconds to answer. “I just heard something weird.”

Gwen’s face drained of color and she jumped up, the tingling present in the back of her head. “Are you alone?”

“Yeah.”

“Get out of there. Now. Find somewhere that’s crowded.”

“Don’t be so paranoid. I bet it’s nothing. Could you imagine if I, like, got murdered, though?” You laughed nervously, trying to ease both of your nerves but Gwen’s sting in her head was only strengthening. “How tragic. Anyway—”

Your voice halted. A distant strangled cry left the speaker. “Y/N?!” Gwen called for your attention, frantic, her heart nearly breaking out of her chest. Something was not right.

“Hold on.”

It was all you said before you ended the call. She wasted no time nor hesitated— she ran to the end of the rooftop and jumped off, shooting a web. She swung as fast as she could, to the point where her aim nearly missed a building. Her thoughts were rushed, hectic, created the worst scenarios so vivid the bile began to make her way up her throat and she had to blink the dampness of her eyes away.

Hiding behind a dumpster nearing the end of an alleyway, you held your phone up to your ear, your legs aching from the speed with which you ran away. You could barely breathe. It was just a messy attempt of ragged breaths that despite how hard you tried to make them quiet, you simply couldn’t. “Please hurry up.”

“We’re trying to get there as fast as we can, miss. Are you hurt?”

“N-No, I’m fi—” A loud bang shook the dumpster next to you and you involuntarily yelped in fear. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth, but it was too late.

The woman and the man who chased you quickly found you, and the guy gripped your arm, yanking you out of your hiding spot. “What the fuck did you see?!” He spat in your face, holding you trapped against his body with his arm choking your neck. “Tell us or you’re fucking dead, hear me?!”

You sputtered and your fingernails scratched his arm, trying to get him off of you. When you realized you weren’t getting anywhere, your eyes flickered down to your hand. You blindly moved it up to his face, and once you grazed his eyelashes, you dug your fingers into his eye with all your strength.

He cried out and let go of you. Without thinking, you spun around and went in to punch whatever area of his face you hoped your hit landed on. But he recovered quickly and caught your fist in mid-air. All you could do was stare at him in horror. You didn’t quite process what was coming at you until he struck your eye.

“Bad move, kid.” The woman said and you glanced up at her with watery eyes, shielding the throbbing left side of your face. She took out her gun, pointed it at you, and your heart dropped.

You had lost all hope, until a ‘thwip!’ echoed in between the walls.

Out of nowhere, a web stuck to the barrel of the gun and, in the blink of an eye, snatched it from the woman’s grasp. Spider-Gwen came into your blurry vision before she spun the gun and smacked it onto the stranger’s head.

She stumbled backwards, grasping her head. Meanwhile, Gwen shot two webs at the wall behind the older girl. Holding onto the strings tightly, she pushed herself off the ground and knocked her down with a kick at her jaw. As she webbed her to the wall, her eyes suddenly widened. She swiftly ducked under, dodging a punch coming from the man behind her. Crouching down, she swiped her leg under him and sent him down.

After he fell on the ground, Gwen towered over him, her fists shaking with fury. As soon as he opened his eyes, she drew her arm back and smashed her knuckles into his nose, a painful crack resonating clear and loud.

She panted loudly, her chest rising and falling quickly as she trapped the now unconscious man’s hand to the gravel. She continued to observe him, her lip twitching, the sirens approaching in the background, until she heard a dry sob behind her. She looked back, only to see you backed up into the corner, hugging yourself.

Gwen ran up to you and kneeled down in front of you, holding your hand. “H-Hey, hey, you’re okay now.” She shushed you, her hand almost coming up to your cheek until she stopped herself. She wanted to stay with you and ask more questions, but two police cars parked themselves at the start of the alleyway. Her heart screamed at her not to. It cursed at her, begged for her feet not to move. However, she looked down at you one last moment and she shot a web up at the sky, zipping out of there.

She watched over you for an hour and a half as you talked to the police, and then when the paramedics attended you. She couldn’t stay long, though, since you furrowed your brows and then glanced up, your sight focusing on her. She instantly hid away, deciding that it’d be best if she just waited at your apartment.

Gwen tried telling herself that you were now fine. She saw you there, not missing a limb or anything, breathing and alive. But despite that, she couldn’t rest in peace. The image of you in the corner— your entire body shaking, your rough appearance, the tears that abandoned your eyes. Broken. It wouldn’t fuck off despite how many times she told it to.

She couldn’t help but recall Peter Parker’s face as she shakily held his corpse in her arms. And then she remembered why she had given up on letting anyone get close to her in the first place.

She had lost track of how long she’d been staring at your window. The window which she climbed through just three nights ago when she got locked out of her place. The night your warm smile greeted her. The night you first kissed her. The night that, perhaps if it hadn’t occurred— if she hadn’t forgotten to take her key with her, or she had left her window open, if she had gone to Em Jay’s, Glory’s, or even Betty’s place instead of yours— if she hadn’t been in the picture, you wouldn’t be in the situation that you were in now.

Because of her, you could’ve lost your life.

She’d texted you— as Gwen— asking if you were alright. It didn’t help that you straight up lied and said that you weren’t feeling alright so you decided to skip the night. At last, the light turned on in your room and she snapped out of a trance. It didn’t take long before she was trying to look through your window as discreetly as she could, her heart starting yet again with its running when she made out your silhouette. It moved around the room, until it stopped in front of the window. To her nightmare, your figure grew bigger as it came closer and closer, and opened the window. When she saw your face, her insides twisted.

You nearly screamed as soon as you saw Spider-Woman outside your window. You jumped back. It was the Spider-Woman. Unbelieving, you blinked at her— a bad idea, you then realized, considering your bruised eye.

“…Spider-Woman?”

“Uh, hi there.”

You touched your head, closing your eyes. Maybe the blow you received was worse than you thought. “Am I hallucinating?”

Gwen laughed weakly. “Nope. I’m very real right now.”

“Oh, okay.” You stared at her, disoriented, a million questions running through your brain. “Can I— can I ask what you are doing here?” You chose to ask first.

“I, uh, wanted to check up on you after the incident that happened earlier. I didn’t really have time to say anything.” It wasn’t fully a lie. You nodded slowly, tilting your head.

“How’d you know where I live?”

She couldn’t judge you for asking so many questions, but God, coming up with a lie on the spot was turning out to be problematic for her. “Uh… spider-sense?”

She tried.

You were yet more perplexed. “Spider what?”

“It’s a thing… I have…” She tapped her head. Again, it wasn’t a full-blown lie. Thankfully, you didn’t continue budging and instead hummed, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. “You don’t have to answer— only if you want to talk about it, but…what happened?” She asked quietly, afraid of your reaction. Your body went rigid and you hesitated.

“I was going to meet up with a girl I like when I heard and then saw someone getting beaten to death.” Her white eye lenses grew big. “The two out of the three people doing it saw me and began to chase me. I tried to hide, but they eventually caught up to me.” You whispered.

Her fingers touched her mouth. “Oh God… I’m so… I’m so sorry. It’s my fault.”

You raised a brow. “…What do you mean? You saved me.”

“But I…” Gwen choked up and you furrowed your brows. She checked her watch, her body so weak she was surprised she was standing up. “I have to go. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You don’t deserve it.”

Before you could reply, she scurried away from your window and leaped off the fire escape. You watched as she swung away and eventually disappeared, feeling hazy and more puzzled than ever.

After she thought she had gotten far away enough, Gwen dropped down on a random rooftop, stumbling and falling to her knees. She felt trapped inside the mask. Almost as if it were stuck, permanently sewn to her skin, and if she tried to rip it off, she’d tear every last inch of skin off with it. She was the mask. She was Spider-Woman, and would forever be. It’s a responsibility she was doomed with for eternity unless she lost a fucking limb or her own life, and there’s nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t simply walk away, or dispose of all the criminals and villains, all the calamities and traps hurled at her which sent her defenseless body flying, hurting it, along with everyone else in the way. Everyone else like Peter. Peter and now you.

Her trembling hand ripped off her mask, her wet face nearly freezing as the wind attacked her skin. She took out her phone and searched for your contact, wiping her nose with her gloves. “Hey…” She typed, but stopped. Keep going, she urged herself. Just fucking write. Her thumb hung above the keyboard, her teary eyes fixed on the cursor blinking, taunting her.

“If you don’t do this, I’m going to hate you for the rest of my fucking life, Gwen.” She hissed at herself and hiccuped after. It didn’t matter if you hated her. It had to be done.

You inspected with a frown at your bruised eye in the mirror, your fingers ghosting over the swollen skin. But your grimace vanished and a faint grin took over your features when you received a message and read Gwen’s name. Rapidly, you opened the text, the overwhelming heaviness burning in your chest immediately flickering out.

It was only temporary, though.

Gwen read the message one last time, and her heart dropped down to her stomach the instant she saw you had opened it. Her own words repeated themselves in her head, slashing her skin with regret, mercilessly cutting her heart apart into unfixable bits.

“I’ve been thinking lately, and I think it’d be best if we’re just bandmates. You’re cool, so I hope that there are no hard feelings between us.”

She turned off her phone and closed her eyes, letting out a long breath. Somehow, she still hated herself.

You didn’t reply. Not a word, no phone call. Nothing. You explained to MJ and Glory what had happened and missed band practice for a week, saying you wanted your eye to heal as much as possible. You never told Gwen anything, though. The girls were in charge of doing it, and she had to act surprised and repress the regret that stabbed at her. Glory was shocked she wasn’t the first to find out and she questioned her about it, but Gwen solely shrugged and forced out a laugh when MJ joked that getting hurt was a curse running for bassists in the band.

The week had finally passed by and you came to Thursday rehearsal. You still greeted Glory with your secret handshake and MJ with the usual hug, as enthusiastic as always. But you ignored Gwen, and she didn’t fight against it. She had now made a promise to herself she couldn’t break.

You’d been practicing for an hour longer than usual, stuck on the same song since Em Jay would stop in the midst of it and insist that you started over again. Everyone knew who was— or, to be more correct— were the culprits, but no one dared to speak up. MJ broke away from the mic, rubbing her face in frustration, and raised her fist in the air to end the playing. “Okay, that sucked. Yet again. But it’s okay, let’s start over from the top.”

Glory let her fingers run down the keyboard, creating what you could say was the loveliest catastrophe of a melody, and sighed. “Em Jay, I think we should take a break—”

“No, no, no, we’ll get it right this time. Let’s just get it over with, okay?” No one agreed, but she continued nonetheless. “One, two, three!”

You began again. At first, no one was messing up, and Em Jay’s hope returned. However, a minute into the song, both the drums and the bass went their own ways and invented their own pace, and MJ turned around, her hands on her hips. “I didn’t want to say it, but you two really need to get your shit together.” She pointed at Gwen and then at you.

Gwen glanced at you. “Y/N’s a bit late.” You opened your mouth in disbelief and faced her.

“You’re going way too fucking fast!”

“No, that’s the right tempo.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Uh, yeah, it is.”

You narrowed your eyes. “Since when?”

“Since always!” Gwen exclaimed, sharing your scowl. “I’m the one who’s been here since the beginning, I think I know better.”

You couldn’t keep your mouth shut any longer.

“Shut the fuck up, you don’t know shit, okay?!” You yelled at her, taking an intimidating step closer to her. When MJ noticed Gwen gripping her drumsticks hard, she tried to intervene.

“Guys—”

“Leave it, Mary Jane.” Gwen warned her, her face stern, and MJ stared at her, expressionless.

“It’s Em Jay.”

“I don’t fucking care!”

“Yeah, you very clearly don’t, huh?” You said, laughing without humor and stepping even closer to Gwen. “You don’t know shit, and you don’t give a shit about anyone. It’s scary how you pretend to care about someone, but you don’t. You just fucking use them to keep yourself entertained for a while, until you get bored and then decide to leave.” You were now right in front of her, and you pointed an accusing finger into her face. Gwen tensed her jaw, fighting hard against the wetness of her eyes.

“That’s not true.”

“Oh, don’t fucking lie, Gwen.” You glared at her, shaking your head. “Don’t act like I don’t know you.”

You both shared eye contact for a few moments, and as Gwen began to blink hard, you scoffed and took a step back. “Whatever.” You muttered and turned away. “I think I’m done for the day.”

The room stayed dead silent while you packed your things up. Glory and Em Jay communicated with each other through their gazes, both equally as confused, but Gwen stuck her sight to the floor, her lip trembling as she curled her hand so tightly around the drumstick it snapped. You slammed the door shut, and Em Jay cleared her throat, biting her nails.

“What the fuck just happened?” MJ and Glory moved their stares to Gwen. “Gwen?”

Gwen rubbed her eye, sighing. “What?” She mumbled. MJ approached her slowly, frowning.

“You got something to tell us?”

Gwen shrugged. “Maybe.” Glory raised her brows. “I messed up long ago.”

“She seems too mad for it to have been long ago.” MJ laughed nervously, but Gwen wasn’t taking any of it anymore. She stood up and pulled her hair, groaning.

“God, Em Jay, this wouldn’t have happened if you had just fucking stopped trying so hard to make our friendship work. You don’t even care about me making friends, you just wanted to feel good about yourself for helping poor little me!” She shouted, nudging MJ with her drumsticks. Em Jay remained quiet, visibly hurt, and hugging herself.

“Gwen.” Glory repeated, her strict voice shocking both Gwen and MJ. “I think you hurt someone. And I think you owe them an apology.”

Gwen took a moment to breathe, and that was when she realized what she had done. She looked at MJ and grabbed her hand, squeezing it. “I’m sorry, Em Jay. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you. Thank you for trying. I should’ve tried harder as well.” She whispered sadly.

The corner of MJ’s mouth quirked upwards, and gripped her hand back. “Thanks. But I think you’ve got one more apology left.”

It felt like February all over again. Back when MJ called her to tell her the same thing, and one day later, Gwen waited outside your school. However, this time, she knew she had to apologize for real. For the correct reason.

Gwen let her drumsticks fall to the floor and she jumped over the cables. Speeding out of the door, she hoped she still had the chance to catch up to you and hadn’t lost you again. To her relief, you were at the end of the corridor, in front of the opening elevator doors when she called out your name. Your ears perked up, but your expression hardened when you saw her running up to you. “Y/N, listen—”

“Fuck off.” You laughed and moved to get into the elevator, but Gwen grabbed your arm and spun you around.

“No!” You stared at her, shocked. “N-No, I’m not going to… fuck off. Not this time.” Her eyes were big, begging.

You clutched her wrist and pulled her hand away from you. “I think it’s too little too late, Gwen. I’ve had enough.”

“I made a mistake.”

“Yeah, no shit.”

“Just let me talk, please.”

“No.” You shushed her, breathing heavily. “Let me talk, okay? Let me tell you about this little mistake of yours. Not only did you act as if you didn’t know me months ago and said we were never friends when I joined the band, but you acted as if you hadn’t already done this. You played with my feelings. Not once, but apparently fucking twice! And you didn’t even apologize!”

Your voice broke as you finally let out your repressed feelings, and you hated yourself for it. You despised yourself for still listening to her, for still caring about her.

You left Gwen speechless. “You wanted to talk, and now I’m giving you the chance. Say something.” You begged, prepared to be let down. But she looked up at you and let out a shaky sigh, sniffing.

“I don’t… I don’t know. I thought I liked you a year ago when we first met. I really did. The feelings were there, b-but…”

“If you never liked me, then why’d you come back?” You asked, broken-hearted. It hurt Gwen to see how much pain she had caused you, all because she was too much of a coward to own up to her feelings.

“That’s the thing.” She breathed out, shrugging. “Maybe I do.”

Your face softened. “What?”

“Don’t make me explain it, please.”

“You have to.”

“I can’t.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, groaning. “For fuck’s sake.” Gwen shook her head and her shoulders began to shake.

“I can’t…”

“Why not—”

“Because it scares me!” She cried out, a sob finally breaking free from her system. You frowned.

“Why?”

“B-Because…” She wiped her nose, struggling to spit it out. “I really like you. I really do. And I don’t know if I’m ready for something like that. I can’t lose you.”

You gently grabbed her shoulder, while your other hand held her chin. “I’m not going to run away from you. I’m here.”

It wasn’t as simple as that. “I can’t.” She said again, even if she didn’t want to let go of your touch. You bit your lip.

“You can’t or you don’t want to?”

She didn’t know what to answer. Your hand slowly sneaked down to hold hers, and you looked at her for permission, your expectations not as high. But she clutched your hand hard. “You can do it, Gwen. You can’t spend the rest of your life like this. If you do, you will lose everyone.” You smiled sadly. You quieted down, pondering, but eventually, you breathed out and closed your eyes. “I really like you, too. I always did. And if I have to wait, it’s okay. Just… don’t disappear again, okay?”

Gwen analyzed your face. She wondered what you must have looked like that night back when you kissed her. And since she hadn’t done anything right before, she wondered whether she could try again.

In a second, she squeezed her eyes shut and pecked your lips. You were caught off guard as your fingers came up to touch your mouth. “Nah, you’re right. I think it’s about damn time.” She bit back her smile.

She took the big step.

#spider gwen x reader #spider gwen x you #gwen stacy x reader #gwen stacy x you #spider man: into the spider verse #sm:itsv #fem! reader #gwen stacy imagine #gwen stacy one shot #fan fiction #marvel

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ikevamp-shrine · 4 years

Text

It’s a match up baby

Hi there love! I just say your post saying u do matchupz 😱😱❤❤❤ i got so excited so now im here requesting one❤🌈🔥hope u dont mind🥰 okay so... ❤🥰 i am a aries, infp, Hufflepuff female 🦊 i am shy and difficult to get to know (apparently it took me 2 months to start opening up to my friends, ooops), i tend to bottle up my emotions, my friends would likely describe me as incredibly stubborn, gentle, kind, over dramatic, goofy and fun loving. Okay ima do this in 3 asks hope ya dont mind❤ 1/3... ❤🥰 I am pretty aloof and blunt, i like i will 9/10 times tell you to your face how if feel about you if you ask 🙈once u are part of my inner circle i am playful, teasing, i am an extremely sarcastic person that makes snarky remarks under my breath and my kind of humor is a bit of dark and self deprecating. I will definitely be the person making jokes at inappropriate times and something about inappropriate things (its one of my coping mechanisms) 😂 2/3... I love my friends and family and will fight anyone how threatens them, although when it comes to me you can do or say anything to me and i wont do anything (I honestly cant stand up for myself). I swear like a sailor although i am trying to get that under control, however the road rage is real. I tend to blush easily which i hate 🙈 I am very go with the flow, and i never burn my bridges 🙈 i am very forgive and forget🦊, okay one more 3/3 + one more🔥🙌sorry if this is TMI...I enjoy my own alone time and i definitely dont like crowds and loud sounds (ie you will never find me in a club) i love cuddles although i look like someone that wouldn’t. Ive been told i come across as calm and confident, while in truth on the inside i am really scared and insecure. I am incredibly awkward when it comes to boys and have been told my sarcastic comments are x100 when i talk to them (oops).🙈 Thanx so much dear ❤ Sorry if this is TMI🔥Cant wait to see who i get matched with 🌈🎀

Thank you for requesting @nad-zeta . I hope you enjoy and have a good rest of your day.

I MATCH YOU WITH...

Napoleon Bonaparte

Charming people and getting them to open up is one of his things he does ya know? So your difficulty in getting to know is no problem to him

Napoleon is also a very patient man so you being shy does not effect him since he is used to it from being around Isaac

He honestly finds it absolutely adorable

He would understand bottling up your emotions since he is so used to putting others before himself (including other’s emotions before his own) but he would do every trick in the book to get you to slowly open up to him and to get you to talk about your emotions, wants, and needs

He would find your stubbornness incredibly sexy as he loves a challenge from time to time you would keep him on his toes

Your gentleness and kindness would always bring a tender smile to his face and make his eyes soften with adoration

He would roll his eyes at your goofy, fun loving, and over dramatic side but would ten out of ten join you in your antics then tackle you to the ground all while having one of his famed laughing fits

He can’t help but feel pride well up in him at your bluntness and confidence when you tell someone how it is but at the same time would inch closer just- and only just- incase you need him

Napoleon can’t help but to get turned on by your teasing but if you go too far he will quickly turn it around on you and leave you like a puddle of goo

He always snickers at your sarcastic and snarky comments unless they are directed towards then he will once more leave you breathless and begging for more

The first time you made a self deprecating joke... he was a little taken back- why was such a strong, beautiful, amazing woman joking about herself in a self deprecating way?

He figured out after a little that your way of joking was unique and soon found humor in it himself- though he will always kiss you hard and tell you how perfect you are if he feels as if you start believing the jokes you say about yourself

Napoleon finds your badly timed inappropriate jokes endearing though he will still give you “the look” as if telling you not right now even if he is laughing hysterically on the inside

When I tell you this man would be head over heals in love with you when he seeing your protectiveness I mean it

The first time he sees your protective side he feels as if the whole floor falls out from under him because how is this woman so perfect? Like damn girl get you some. Go off hun- he finds it extremely hot.

Don’t expect to walk the next day lol

he finds your inability to stand up for yourself confusing (since you’re so quick to protect others) but won’t question it cause you won’t need to defend yourself... after all he will protect you with everything he has

He would absolutely make you put a quarter in the swear jaw each time you say a naughty word though he would see how hard you work to keep your mouth under control so he would go easy on you time to time

You blush easily? He is going to use that to his advantage (after all he thinks your blush is so cute so he loves seeing it)

He would appreciate your go-with-the-flow approach to things and your ability to forgive and forget so easily

He would respect your alone time aka leave you alone when you wanted him to- no questions asked

Dislike crowds but you both need to go out in public? You better believe this man already made a map of the least populated streets in the city and if you had to go in a bigger crowd he would snake his arm around you and put on his most imitating expression to make people part like the red sea around you both

He doesn’t like loud noises either- war and all- so when there happens to be a thunder storm, a holiday that people have fireworks with, or if it’s just too loud in the mansion that day he would pick you up, carry you to his room, and snuggle in the bed with a blanket over both of your heads to try and block out the sound

He will even cover your ears with his hands if the sounds get too much for you

He knows everyone has insecurities and fears, and that it’s normal, and he can’t just kiss them away or say a few pretty words and they will disappear, he knows that, but he would want nothing more than for you to feel good about yourself and for all your fears to disappear all at once

He would see himself in you when you showed your calm and confident side (remember children confidence is sexy- and if you're not confident fake it until you make it)

he would have to hold himself back or he would end up jumping you and taking you were you stood

Napoleon would also keep you so busy- inside the bedroom and out- that you wouldn’t have time to feel or be awkward, but if you happen to be at anytime he can’t help but pat your head at how adorable you are

Other Matches:...

Leonardo da Vinci

You two would definitely have your ups and downs but he would always respect your space. He would find your protectiveness attractive and wouldn’t make you open up to him- instead he would wait until you were ready to talk. You would probably find his clutter and sleep schedule annoying but would get over it or learn to work around it. His flirty side would defiantly frustrate you (mainly because you wouldn't stop blushing while you were around him). You two would butt heads with when it comes to stubbornness but Leonardo would find your persistence sexy. He doesn't mind your not so PG mouth.

He would join in on making self depreciating jokes, so both of you would end up spending a long time just going back and forth absolutely roasting each other/ yourselves. He would encourage you to stand up for yourself but will always be there when you need him. You want to cuddle? This personal heater is yours for only the small price of a kiss. And cue the awkward, blushing mess Leonardo fell in love with.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikemen series #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikevamp leonardo #ikemen vampire napoleon #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp match up #ikemen vampire match up #ask #match up

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everyday-effing-therapy · 5 years

Text

12/09/19

Oh my, oh my,

Did you even expect me to come back? I mean, I know the last post wasn’t that long ago, but it was still not that recently either.

The school started and it’s one of the things why I completely don’t have the time for anything. It’s like they want us to do so much work outside school that it does get hectic sometimes.

I have to do a lot since it’s the year of the exams, which are supposed to open the entire path of education that follows.

I think I will be sitting advanced exams from maths, biology, chemistry and English and every single one of us has to take basic literature, maths and English. It’s going to be a long road and a very lengthy exam season, as all of those exams are day after day, they take up over a week in total.

I wasn’t sure about maths, I still am not, but I think that might be one of the most necessary exams and I have already signed up for a preparation course that is bound to start in October.

From other news, I came home from the Maldives and I already went to school the next day. Nobody saw that coming, but since I came back at early enough night hour, I decided not to miss out on anything.

I also horribly missed Black, but we’re not talking about it.

So, school started out nicely. Upon seeing Black I somehow wondered whether that would clear my mind and let me know, whether I have a crush on him. I obviously do and from the moment I saw him, I knew I was fucked.

He wears braces now and I didn’t think that braces could be so fricking hot. I didn’t know that long hair could be that hot and I certainly didn’t know that shirts with dark prints could make me swoon so much. And the sweatshirts, the fricking sweatshirts.

Fall is approaching, which means more sweatshirts (which are my favourite part of male’s wardrobes) and also, fall means rain.

I hope that you all understand how much you can smell everything after it rains and certainly, you can definitely feel the smell of other people so much more intensely.

That’s why I love boys in the rain.

Well, apart from that, school is really hectic. We get lots of homework, but so far I kinda managed to wrap my head around it, or at least so I hope. For now, it is manageable, but I don’t have as many extracurriculars either, as not all of them have started yet.

The yoga plan is also not ready to be implemented and that makes me sad, cause I really, really wanted to take yoga classes.

Last Saturday, I organised my birthday party. My cousin arrived on Friday, after I went out with Black and Silver, took my driving classes, ate supper and had my nails done. We talked a lot, laughed and eventually fell asllep, cause I was so ungodly tired.

The entire Saturday was spent doing shopping, some preparations, decorating the place and overall, me being super stressed.

I think I looked absolutely stunning, but at that time, I didn’t know how to react. Fewer people than I expected came, but the place didn’t look empty and I was glad everything turned out alright. People ate, danced, I managed to have a dance with Opal, Silver, even Gold, my dear friends and so many other people. I felt amazing, stressed but surely amazing. So many people congratulated me on choosing that place, gave me the most amazing birthday wishes and the gifts were truly ideally picked. However, even now when I think about it, I feel the stress. I don’t know what made me so uneasy. Maybe I was afraid that people wouldn’t come, or they wouldn’t get along or maybe they wouldn’t like the music. Everything turned out fine, everything, apart from one thing.

Do you remember the situation that occured on a birthday party of my best friend? It was in June, in a week that had a horrid series of birthday parties. A few days after I actually talked with Black and danced with him for the first time. It was before I started crushing on him, when everything was calm and collected.

Basically, on that party, Silver told me that there was going to be a song played for us, but while the song was playing, he was gone and I felt really bad. After that, Black came and got us the song, the same song that we danced to on the previous birthday party and I guess, that’s how it started being “our” song. During the holidays we’ve had the situation with this song twice and we also talked about it. He looked stressed in that scenario and that led me to thinking that maybe that song meant something to him also before me, which woke up hurtful memories. We talked about not having that song on my birthday party once, but I told him I will still have that.

Now, on my party, I wanted to dance with him and he did dance with me, promising me a dance also to “our” song. Unfortunately, while the song was playing, he was gone and it was Silver who danced with me to that. The situation turned out to be the direct opposite of what went down in June.

It’s funny, cause when I dance with Silver he is very brave and flirty, and I truly love dancing with him, but to that song, I think I didn’t even smile. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I think everybody knew what happened, cause when the song started playing, they started screaming Black’s name and searching for him. He didn’t come.

Before midnight I collected myself and in that moment, Black came up to me. I confronted him on his absence during our song, he apologised and asked me multiple times whether we could have the song again. On midnight, I got as many belt spanks as my age, which is a sort of tradition. Obviously, it’s one spank for every more important person. We started out with my cousin, then it was Black, then my close friend, some girl friends of mine, Black again, Silver, Opal, Black again, Opal again and my besties for the end. After that everyody sang happy birthday, I made a wish, blew out candles (and pretty much missed one, oop), we ate cake and then I danced with Black. It was marvelous, truly, he hugged me and was so close, I felt his hair tickling my face and I was so, so happy.

Not for a long time.

Half an hour later he drank shots with one girl (the one with whom he cheated on his girlfriend at that time) and I found them ferociously making out outside. They hid behind a wall, but I just felt that if I make those two more steps, I’ll see them. I came up to my friend who stood there and he tried to crack a joke about the situation, but when I looked into his eyes with my almost teary ones, he was completely serious and so was I.

He told me that maybe it was for the better, he saw us dancing, watched us dance and told me that maybe it’s better that I knew then, rather than in the future when I would be completely head over heels for him. He also asked me whether I needed any help and that they are going to be there for me, him and his brother and all of the people in our friend group. I am very grateful, cause without that, I probably would have burst into tears.

I came back inside, talked to my cousin about it and to my besties. V was the one who got the most into the situation and she talked with Opal. Suddenly everybody talked and I just danced, danced it off, cause I didn’t want to drink, I’d already felt sick. I ended up being taken by V by the hand and we went to see one of my guests off, while walking directly next to Black and that girl snuggling. V was blunt enough to come up to them, ask them about the direction and then we went on. I looked Black in the eye and he looked at me. I felt my heart break, turned around, held V’s hand and ran for my life.

Directly after we came back, V took Black by the hand and they went away “to talk”, so I got a mini panic attack. My cousin got me going, but V was gone for good 20 minutes and then they came back and drank shots. As it turned out, V told him to leave the party, then they talked about morality and my being hurt and in the end she told him to stay. In the meantime that girl came up to me, apologised with saying that she heard I like Black, that she doen’t feel anything towards him, she just wants to have fun in life and that she’s sorry, cause she didn’t want to ruin the party.

After that I danced and danced, Black didn’t speak to me and at about 3am, we all went home.

The next day I looked at the gifts, finished my homework, saw off my cousin to the train station and came back home, slept everything off.

So far, V has made up with Black and I think I did too, cause we talk now. We maturely ignored the topic which made me feel bad, cause I still have a crush on him, I see that he’s probably not that good of a person, my cousin heavily dislikes him and he hurt me and might just know that I’m crushing on him and yet, I still can’t let go. I just want to stay.

There’s this song Be Alright by Dean Lewis and the second part talks exactly about what happened on that god forsaken night.

“So I still look back at all the messages you'd sent And I know it wasn't right, but it was fucking with my head And everything deleted like the past, it was gone And when I touched your face, I could tell you're moving on But it's not the fact that you kissed her yesterday It's the feeling of betrayal, that I just can't seem to shake And everything I know tells me that I should walk away But I just want to stay”

It’s like, I touched his face last Friday and we stared into each other’s eyes and this Monday, we didn’t look at all.

It’s all weird.

I still feel his presence in the room and I can’t stop staring when he wears his hair down and I just want to kiss him or talk to him constantly.

It’s so bad.

Today, I didn’t go to school, cause I had to go get my vaccination at the doctor’s. The problem was, everything turned out to be way more complicated and I had to come back there an hour later. I spent an ungodly amount of time there, but I’m glad at least this is done and I hope I won’t be sick.

I don’t know whether I have any plans for tomorrow after school, but if any of my friends would be willing to go out, I will go with them. If not, maybe I’ll get my ear pierced, who knows.

Today’s light I am sending to my cousin and V. They are both amazing, truly sassy queens, that are standing by my side and protecting me when I need it the most. They made that night truly valuable.

Every single one of us has some problems to work out.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Love,

#12/09 #22:36 #finally a long post #finally a new post #diary #journal #journal entry #it's more of a diary now i guess #love #friends #birthdays #parties #boys boys boys #c posts #c is feeling so bad #c is so frickin' lost #night post

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jchb32273 · 5 years

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30 Day Dragon Age OC Challenge - Day 19 and 20

Courtship and Conclusion

(Yes, still behind! Swear I’ll catch up!)

This segment will contain MAJOR SPOILERS for my fic!! You have been warned!

Doesn’t mean I don’t want y’all to not read it... but... you know...

*As a side note, I am combining Day 19 and 20 into one post here, because after I re-read it, I realized I covered more than Day 19 had asked for originally! Oops... but at least it’s a good oops. ^_^

I think I can honestly say that I fell for Alistair from the very first smile that he gave me when we first met at Ostagar. Here I was a newly Harrowed mage, outside the Tower, and in the real world for the first time. Then I meet this goofy man (with a great smile) who says to me, “You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together.”

Next thing I know, we were fighting for our lives at the Tower of Ishal, while a battle between a thousand troops and probably twice as many darkspawn was raging in the valley below.

We had no idea that the end result would be the death of everyone… except for us.

Suddenly, the two of us were on the run, not only to avoid the blame that Loghain put on us – saying that we were responsible for the massacre at Ostagar – but also to try and recruit our new “army” to help battle the Blight!

Who had time for romance?

And yet… we found it.

Two lost souls. Two Grey Wardens.

The last Grey Wardens in Ferelden.

Love?

No. Not at first. But the spark had definitely been ignited.

Alistair gave me a rose shortly after we had saved Lothering.

We shared a tentative kiss by the shores of Lake Calenhad before saving The Circle.

By the time we reached Redcliffe, it was clear that we were falling for each other – even after Alistair revealed that he was the bastard son of King Maric.

We saved the town from a plague of undead that was being summoned by Arl Eamon’s demonic-possessed son, Connor. Then we freed him from the possession by getting help from the Circle. Alistair and I then traveled all the way to Denerim to find Brother Genetivi. He had been looking into the whereabouts of The Urn of Sacred Ashes, which the arlessa believed could cure her poisoned husband.

It was a lengthy journey to Haven (which Alistair did not take with me) but I successfully returned with a pinch of Andraste’s Ashes.

Arl Eamon was saved, much to everyone’s relief.

That night, Alistair came to my room. We took that final leap in our relationship.

Maker, the things he made me feel that night.

Perhaps we should have been more careful, but you can’t control love… and since Alistair didn’t seem to care… why should I?

The following months were some of the sweetest I had ever savored. Our torturous weeks in the Deep Roads only ended up strengthening the bond we felt with each other.

But no relationship is perfect. Dealing with the aftermath of Ostagar caused some stress between us, and once we had returned from our journey there, a fight caused us to separate.

Those were some of my most miserable weeks.

Time – as they say – heals all wounds. Including ones of the heart and soul.

Satinalia was a special holiday for me that year. Alistair and I rekindled our relationship (boy, did we ever!)

After a lengthy stay in Denerim, we assisted the Dalish. They agreed to send us troops for the Blight. Now that all of our Grey Warden treaties had been honored, we returned to Redcliffe.

From the frying pan and into the fire.

Arl Eamon had kindly asked that Alistair break off his relationship with me months ago. He wanted to have Alistair step up to his birthright. To become the rightful King of Ferelden, he would need to find a wife with noble blood. When Eamon found out that we were still together… the proverbial shit hit the fan.

We were forbidden from having contact with each other.

Our only small comfort was that Alistair and I had a method of being able to communicate without having to be physically near each other. It wasn’t much, but it helped through that difficult time.

The day of the Landsmeet finally arrived. We were able to expose Logain’s crimes. He and Alistair fought, which resulted in Loghain’s execution.

And it was done.

Alistair was going to be King… if he survived the battle with the archdemon. In the interim, Eamon would serve as regent, though Alistair did make the stipulation that if he fell in battle the crown would go back to Anora.

We traveled back to Redcliffe to meet up with the gathering armies as it seemed that the darkspawn were heading in that direction. With us, was a Grey Warden that I had found and rescued from Arl Howe’s dungeon. His name was Riordan.

Once back at Redcliffe, Alistair and I met with him one evening. He explained to us that the only way to permanently stop the archdemon – and the Blight – was one of us would have to die.

Riordan, as the eldest Warden, volunteered to take that fatal blow… but if he failed then it would be up to Alistair… or me… to end it once and for all.

Then more bad news.

The archdemon had tricked us.

The horde was descending on Denerim!

We’d begin the forced march back to the capital in the morning. It was that night that Eamon found Alistair in his room, praying and crying. Alistair told Eamon what our final fate may be. Hearing this, Eamon relented and let Alistair and I have some time alone… to say goodbye.

As we made our way to capital, I made a decision.

I was not about to let Alistair die.

If Riordan failed in his task to slay the archdemon… I would do it. I’d make that final blow and end the Blight.

The battle was long and bloody. We lost a lot of good people… Riordan included. So I did as I’d promised myself. I slew that damned dragon. The day was won. However, something strange happened.

I was alive.

So was my love.

Weeks after that battle, the citizens and nobles of Ferelden wanted to celebrate our victory. Not wanting to take the chance of losing me ever again, Alistair did something I was not expecting. He stood in front of those nobles, every bit a magnificent King, and said he was going to marry me.

“If the very woman who saved all of our lives is not worthy enough to be my wife, then no one will be!”

Naturally, there were protests. I was a commoner! I was a MAGE! I couldn’t be a Queen!

After much deliberation and arguing, the nobles finally relented… I could marry my love, the King, so as long I had no claim to the throne myself. I agreed. I could be his wife, consort to the King, and potential mother to his heirs, but no more.

This was fine by me. I just wanted to be with my love… for however long we would have together.

Many nobles, though they did allow our marriage, do not believe it will work out. After all, we still both bear the Grey Warden taint in our blood. What is the likelihood of an heir? They figure that Alistair will leave me in favor of a woman who can bear children.

They don’t know their King very well.

He and I have already discussed the situation and we believe our love will find a way.

Love… and perhaps a touch of magic.

#30daydachallenge #dragon age origins #my original character #kylara amell #alistair theirin #alistair x warden #king alistair

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just-another-busy-fangirl-writes · 5 years

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December 22, 2017 - Holiday Edition

I am reposting old fic rec lists. Unfortunately some of the blogs/stories have been removed, but I am still going to list them for historical reference.

Feel free to tag me in ANY fics you post, and see previous weeks’ fic recs HERE

Hopefully this list helps those of you (us) who want to get away from our families for at least an hour or two over the holidays. There’s quite a bit of fluff on this list, so hopefully these awesome fics put a smile on your faces! There were a million more holiday stories that I’ve read the past few weeks, but I tried my best to spread the love to as many authors as I could. Make sure you check out everyone who’s tagging Kari (@thing-you-do-with-that-thing) and Ida’s (@like-a-bag-of-potatoes) 12 Days of Christmas Challenge, cause a lot of writers are doing that!

Happiest of Holidays to all of you beautiful people!

SMUT

Santa Baby by @impala-dreamer Dean may not be the Christmassy type, but he sure will try for Y/N…

Let’s Stay Home Tonight by @impalaimagining You’ve done enough Christmassy crap by yourself, and all you want is your husband to come home. When his flight is delayed and you have a little more time to yourself, you decide to make his wait worth your while.

Sparkling by @kittenofdoomage Fighting a Krampus was not how you wanted to spend Christmas, but at least you’ve met your soulmate. Even if he is a little… tied up.

Home for the Holidays by @luci-in-trenchcoats After his flight home is cancelled, Jensen decides to spend Christmas with his co star and long time crush…

Santa Baby by @queen-of-deans-booty You’ve been waiting all year for this to happen. You got your favorite sexy Santa lingerie and you just know Dean is going to love it on you.

The Bell Still Rings by @sp-oops Set after 11x09 (and ignores the rest of the season). Just weeks after the Cage fiasco, Jody Mills gets TFW & co to Sioux Falls for some much-needed time off. Sam’s hurting, but man, is he happy to see you. So happy that you’re starting to think your longtime crush on him may not be as one-sided as you thought. Here’s hoping for some strategically-placed mistletoe.

We Love Anyway by @sp-oops Set after 12x08. So you busted Sam and Dean out of federal lockdown and then skipped town. But now that the holiday weekend is here, and you’re lonely for them. Lonely for Dean. When Donna calls to invite everybody to her Christmas Eve wedding, you head north in a heartbeat. But when you get there, immersed in all the lights and splendor, it’s soon obvious that you’re not the only one pining for someone you didn’t think you could have. Will you have the guts to make a move?

The Cozy Christmas In by @whispersandwhiskerburn You and Dean are snowed in.

FLUFF

First Christmas by @atc74 Rob and his new wife prepare for their first Christmas together.

Christmas Traditions by @crispychrissy It’s the Holiday Season and you’re stuck in the bunker with a broken leg. Dean and Sam plan some activities for you after learning about your family’s holiday traditions.

Anything for You by @d-s-winchester Your ex will be at the Christmas party your office is hosting. Instead of you going alone, Matt offers to pose as your boyfriend.

It’s Cold Outside by @docharleythegeekqueen Christmas music helps set the mood as Dean and Cas spend the evening with their girlfriend and son.

One Horse Open Sleigh by @docharleythegeekqueen A Christmas date you’re hoping is leading to a proposal goes in a completely different direction.

All You Want for Christmas by @evansrogerskitten Jack is excited about his first Christmas as you teach him the holiday traditions. The special day also brings a surprise for you as well.

What You Always Asked For by @imagineteamfreewill The reader is one of Santa’s elves that travels to a new town each year to make sure even the poorest of children can have a good Christmas. When the boys find a case that links her with a string of recent murders, however, she has to team up with them to help save the children she’s been tasked with watching over.

All I See by @impalaimagining Jared and reader have been together for a while and decide to spend this Christmas alone in a cabin in Colorado.

What’s Your Hurry by @impalaimagining You and Jensen host a Christmas party, and before too many guests arrive, Genevieve asked you about your future.

Little Drummer Boy by @jpadjackles Louden Swain decide to host a small Christmas live stream for their fans. Rob invites a special guest to sing a song with him, and everyone can see the chemistry between them.

Mistletoe Surprise by @just-another-winchester Dean plans a little surprise for you to show you how he really feels about you.

Cancelled Plans by @katymacsupernatural Driving through a huge storm, you get Dean to pull over at the next hotel where you are snowed in.

Crackling Embers by @katymacsupernatural Jared surprises the reader with a trip to a winter wonderland.

Cabin Fever by @luci-in-trenchcoats The reader and the boys take a break from hunting for the holidays to head up to an out of the way cabin to meet up with some friends and have an old fashioned Christmas together…

Meeting the Parents by @luci-in-trenchcoats You invite your boyfriend, Jensen, to spend Christmas with you where he meets your family for the first time…

A Very Supernatural Hanukkah by @saxxxology When Sam finds out you don’t celebrate Christmas, he makes it his goal to make your next Hanukkah the best one you’ll ever have.

The Christmas Con by @whispersandwhiskerburn Dean explains to you why Christmas isn’t for hunters.

The Gift Box by @whispersandwhiskerburn Dean has to stay back during a hunt and stare at his Christmas present from Y/N the whole time.

Mistletoe Trap by @whispersandwhiskerburn Why is there mistletoe everywhere?

Beware the Office Christmas Party by @winchesterprincessbride It’s that one event of the year that you truly dread: The yearly Sandover Christmas party. Last year was a disaster, and you are determined to avoid it at all costs. But your BFF Kate is forcing you to go, and the only saving grace is the chance you might run into your office crush.

The Elf on The Shelf Can Kiss My Ass by @winchesterprincessbride Your daughter convinces you to get an Elf on the Shelf.

You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out, Dean! by @winchesterprincessbride You introduce Sam and Dean to a Christmas movie that’s old to you but new to them.

ANGST

I’ll Be Home for Christmas by @impala-dreamer Problems on set and two thousand miles of snow and ice between them means Jensen may not make it home for Christmas this year…

Pre-Christmas Catastrophe by @jpadjackles Y/N is out finishing her Christmas shopping on one particularly snowy day. It’s smooth sailing until she’s coming home when her car slips on black ice. Luckily for her, she’s got an ambulance officer as a fiance who just so happens to be working that night.

It’s a Terrible Tree by @whispersandwhiskerburn Sam Wesson is getting a bit tired of his job, but Y/N is the best part of his day. Can he get their place ready for Christmas dinner with her mother?

SERIES

The Emporium of Christmas Enchantments by @almaasi (on AO3) Every night when the clock strikes twelve, all the toys in the toymaker’s workshop come to life. Dean is a little wooden soldier, so easily distracted by the pretty dolls. However, in the nights leading up to Christmas, he feels drawn to a very different kind of toy: Castiel, a kindhearted cowboy displayed on the other side of the store. Dean and Castiel spend all their time together, spreading joy and festive cheer throughout their miniature community. But once the Christmas rush comes around, will fate allow them to stay together? (Perhaps… with a little sprinkling of Christmas magic, even the wishes of simple toys can come true.)

Celebrate Me Home by @callmesweetheartifyoumeanit A Dean Winchester Holiday//Daddy//Bookstore!AU - After having a traumatic experience back home, the reader climbs into her car and begins driving with no place to go. She ends up in a small town in Vermont where she finds more than she bargained for.

12 Days of Dean and Donna: A Christmas Story by @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Christmas has become just another day for Dean, not worth celebrating. Donna, on the other hand, loves Christmas. Can she instill him with the Holiday Spirit by Christmas Day?

Another 12 Days of Dean and Donna: Christmas at the Bunker by @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Dean invites Donna to spend Christmas at the Bunker.

A Winmills Christmas by @ilostmyshoe-79 Follow Sam and Jody through the holiday season.

12 Years of Christmas by @sis-tafics Dean and you go back further than your first night together. Actually, Dean’s had his own little secret for years. Told from Dean’s POV

#laura's fic recommendations

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oliverpdaniel · 3 years

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Advent of Code 2020: A (very timely and not late at all) Reflection on Days 15-25

...Um. Oops?

Honestly, everything has been happening so much lately, I'm not super frustrated that it's been a clean month between finishing these puzzles and commenting on them. During these weeks, along with finally finishing my first-ever Advent of Code (as did my roommate! Well done, buddy.), I also wrapped up my second semester in quarantine, including a few brutal final projects and exams. After a nail-biting few weeks of awaiting grades, I finally had the confidence to withdraw for the second semester, and to begin hunting for work. (If you're reading this and I'm not hired yet, hire me!)

Anyway, the obvious downside to the sheer magnitude of the delay is that most of these puzzles aren't super fresh in my head, and thus my commentaries may not be as detailed as I would like. Hey - if I ever get such a massive executive-dysfunction-killing buzz as I did over the winter break to finally clean and redecorate my room, maybe I'll revisit these too.

Day 15: Now we're seeing some REAL slowness! The primary data structure for both parts here was the dictionary, mapping "seen" (spoken) numbers to the last turn on which they were spoken. That being said, I don't know what I was thinking in Part 1, with code like this:

Code ``` for k in seen.keys(): seen[k] += 1 ```

As soon as I saw the spicy thirty million in Part 2, I knew my naive solution wouldn't even touch it. [1] I had to do my least favourite thing - off-by-one debugging, but I ultimately came up with a relatively clever insight:

Spoilers Storing not just the last turn on which a number was spoken, but the last *two* numbers (if they exist). Doing this allows for a three-case scenario, for some current number `curr`: 1. `seen[curr]` is empty or doesn't exist. This is the base case of a new number; output 0, as stated in the problem. 2. `seen[curr]` has 1 value. It's only been seen once, so we can calculate the number of turns since it was last seen. 3. `seen[curr]` has 2 values. This number has been seen twice, so we can simply subtract the first- and second-most recent turn numbers to get the gap between them!

This problem took a bit of fiddling, but runs okay. Python really shows its ugly side here, as even a fairly efficient solution like this one, using efficient data structures, takes quite a while on Part 2.

Day 16: Boy oh boy. I spent far too long on this one, and perhaps if there are any to revisit for a future post, it's this one. My solution for this one features no less than:

regex;

closure functions;

constraint satisfaction;

functions that return tuples of variable length; and

walrus operators.

I consider this problem a 'sweat' for future years; I learned a lot about what makes constraint-satisfaction engines tick, and how it's important to assign constraints to the smallest possible element of a search space (here a column, rather than an entire permutation of columns). I think there's a much more concise and semantic way of outlining this problem, that lets the solver do much more of the work than I did.

Day 17: Not much to say here; it's a cellular automaton with extra for loops. I'll share two cute things that I'm proud of:

Spoilers 1. I experimented with various thresholds for the size of the 'infinite' space, making specifically sure not to to index checks, so that I could have the smallest possible subspace to check over. I ended up settling on a value of `20` units in each direction from: 2. the origin I specified, which is simply `LIMIT // 2 - H // 2` (where `H` is just the dimension of the input grid).

My roommate complained that it took him a long time to parse and understand the problem; I'll confess that I barely read it. I guess that's the advantage of experience, in that I saw "Conway" and "space" and knew immediately what needed to be done.

I didn't do anything special for Part 2; it's just my Part 1 code, copied and pasted, with an extra for loop here and a variable there. sum(sum(sum(sum())))s for everyone!

Day 18: I think that, out of all 49 unique problems in this year's Advent of Code, I'm most proud of my solution to this one. It's (relatively) fast; the code is pretty easy to read and works for both parts (and more! [2]); and I came up with a solution before knowing the name for what I had built. (Update: it's a shift-reduce parser. Hooray for stacks!) One especially cute thing, that incidentally ended up defining my approach to a lot of the later problems, was

Spoilers creating a lookup table between a certain input symbol, here math operators, and an internal function, here the builtin `int` math functors. This allowed for a dead-simple evaluator function, for when the top of the stack was ready to be converted from an expression to a workable number. Also, I had the bright idea to recursively evaluate bracketed expressions, in such a way that an expression like `(((1 + 2)))` would quickly reduce down to `1 + 2` before the rest of the parser got to it.

Day 19: Aaaaaaaaargh! Herein begin the Two Days of Terror - the two hardest problems. Lucky I had returned from my partner's by now, as I think they would have been quite upset with how much I was ignoring them to code. After solving Part 1 in the morning I finally finished Part 2 at around 7pm, having forgotten to otherwise eat or attack my household responsibilities, and only after my roommate sat down with me and pair-programmed for a while. This one stung the most, because... I'm a linguist, for crying out loud! No generative grammar problem, especially ones over a finite search space like this, should be causing me such grief.

Day 20: I am still emotionally recovering from this problem. My roommate somehow managed to get both parts to run instantly, using the most cursed CSP setup I've ever seen. I still need to study his code better to understand just how he did it. Also, his usage of scientific Python packages finally shows its rewards, as convolution over a matrix is a friggin' builtin function. Grr.

Day 21: I consider this day an apology for the previous Days of Terror. Some fun, but not terribly difficult, set-fu. My relative inexperience with set theory shows its stripes here; I'm sure there are much more semantically sound ways of accomplishing what I tried to do here (e.g., manually removing an allergen from each ingredient's list of hypotheses once it was confirmed to go with a certain ingredient).

Day 22: Spicy spicy numbers! It would have served me much better to read the instructions before starting, as then I would have known that

Spoilers in Part 2, players don't take their entire deck with them. Since, y'know, that would just cause an infinite race to the bottom.

Day 23: Even spicier numbers! If you're going to be cute like me and establish 9 as a constant, make sure that you don't use it in Part 2 when constructing the initial circle, or you'll wonder why 9,999,990 of the cups aren't attached to anything.

Day 24: I couldn't sleep, so I solved this problem at 3 in the morning. Not going to lie, a little disappointing for a penultimate problem, especially Part 2. Part 1 required at least a modicum of cleverness to develop a meaningful coordinate system, but then Part 2 just felt like a relative rehash of the Conway Cubes problem. 3 cellular automaton problems out of 25 is a little bit much, considering how formulaic they can be.

Day 25: As true evidence of how much I learned over this Advent of Code, I was able to finish Day 25 on the couch without even bothering my partner. Utilizing what I had learned about pow made defining the transform (i.e., repeated multiplication and mod) incredibly easy. Though, I did get a little bit lucky, due to a small oversight in problem setting...

Spoilers Rather than having to generate and test a whole bunch of different pairs of loop sizes for the card and the door, it turns out that if you `zip` together two streams of all such valid loop sizes for the card and door, respectively, the correct size for both (i.e, the solution) appears at the same time; for me, just the second such pair of sizes.

Day 25 Part 2, as always, was a delight and a pleasure. If you've never clicked that final button before, crack open a text editor and start solving challenges until you can. It's deeply satisfying.

I cannot sufficiently express my gratitude to the entire AoC team, setters, testers, and maintainers alike, for all that they do. A daily stream of bite-sized (or, sometimes, sea-monster-sized) challenges is just what I need to keep me going, and my skills sharp, over the dreary holiday season. Especially in a year like this, it was just what I needed to keep me moving, motivated, and thinking about code. I can't wait for next year's challenges and, hopefully, I'll convince the roomies to do it with me again.

Sorry about the little delay, and the relative lack of detail. But, the enemy of perfect is good enough. If you're reading these at some point in the distal future, I hope you've enjoyed watching my journey through these problems, and maybe learned a little bit about what it means to think like a programmer. Thanks for tuning in!

[1]: I tried it anyway; it obviously didn't work. And, once my roommate turned me onto tqdm, I was able to see just how long before the Heat Death of the Universe for it to run. It was about 3 days. Lol.

[2]: The way I constructed the code, it would be extremely easy to add in the remaining integer operations.

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savagearchangelforthewin2-0 · 6 years

Text

The Day After Christmas (Supernatural Ficlet)

Fandom: Supernatural, Domestic AU (Michael is a doctor, Adam is a nurse) Ship: Midam (Michael x Adam) Warnings: Fluff + there’s like one curse word in there Summary: Michael holds a Christmas party at his house the day after Christmas for all the nurses and doctors at his job. This will be Adam’s first time attending the party and it goes a lot better than he expected it to. Word count: 1, 653

A/N: I meant to post this yesterday but it didn’t happen. Oops. Anyways, I barely proofread it so I apologize for any grammatical errors. I’ve had an idea loosely similar to this since last year, I had to finally write it down! I hope you enjoy it!

Why was it that everyone was throwing holiday parties around this time of year? Granted it was the holiday season, but Adam was tired of running around, sometimes attending two or three Christmas parties in one day. The party he was most excited for was the one being thrown by his coworker, Michael.

Apparently Michael held a celebration at his house each year on the day after Christmas for many of the doctors and nurses at the hospital he was employed at. Since it was Adam’s first year working at Holy Mary Hospital, it would be his first year attending the party. From what he heard, it was always beautiful.

He clocked out of work at six o’ clock after dealing with a rather exhausting patient, giving himself a little more than an hour to get ready. He went to his home, showered, and tried on at least five outfits until he found one that wouldn’t make him look overdressed for the occasion. He wore a pair of gray slacks, brown shoes, and a deep red button up with only the top button undone. He then had thirty minutes to get to Michael’s house before being considered late.

After about forty minutes, Adam pulled his car into a little suburb in the middle of nowhere and drove slowly until he found the correct house address. He parked a few cars away from the home and stepped out of his vehicle. He walked up steps of the house to the front door where he rang the doorbell. A woman he had never seen before opened the door.

“Welcome!” She smiled, her piercing blue eyes making him uneasy.

“Hey, is this Michael’s place?” Adam asked.

The woman nodded, “Michael’s just in the dining room. I’m Kelly, by the way.”

“Adam. Nice to meet you.” He replied with a polite nod. He walked into the house and glanced around, hoping to find a familiar face. At the hospital, he was pretty comfortable with all of his fellow nurses, but the doctors made him feel strange as they always seemed to be looking down on him. The other nurses reassured him that it was because he was new.

Michael approached him with a warm smile, “I’m glad you could make it, Adam!”

Adam gave an awkward smile, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, “I really appreciate you having me,” he said. He inhaled sharply and looked around for a moment, “Your place is beautiful,” he said with a soft hum. “Perks of being a doctor, huh? You can actually afford shit.” He joked.

Michael gave another smile, “Have you considered going back to school to become a doctor?”

Adam cursed himself internally for bringing work up; he didn’t want to think about work right now and he most certainly didn’t want to make small talk about their profession. “Oh, definitely. Right now, I’m pretty satisfied where I’m at but give or take a few years and I’ll be a student again.”

“Well, hopefully you continue to work at Holy Mary,” replied Michael. He quickly turned around when a glass shattered against the floor. He let out a small, exasperated sigh but didn’t show his irritation; he, instead, smiled. “Don’t worry everyone, I’m a doctor.”

Adam breathed out as if he had been holding it in this entire time. He carefully stepped away from the situation and went over to the table where the drinks were. There were sodas, waters, punch, some glasses of champagne, and what looked like eggnog. He took a red solo cup and filled it with the eggnog. He took a sip and made a face. It was bitter.

An older woman with short, brown hair approached him. “You’ve been the first one to try it! How do you like it?”

Adam recognized the woman, she was a doctor. Jody was her name. “It’s terri-”

“I made it myself.” Jody added.

Adam choked on his words and quickly gulped down another mouthful of the drink. He cleared his throat and recomposed himself. “It’s amazing.” He assured her, using the same smile he’d use with the patients that treated him like shit.

“Well, take some more before it’s all gone!” Jody insisted, pouring more into his cup. Adam had to do everything in his power to keep from gagging.

Adam gave her a weary smile, thanked her, and dragged his feet over to the nearest couch. On multiple occasions, he attempted to toss the drink out; every time, however, Jody would look over at him.

He felt like his cup was a bottomless pit and whenever he thought he reached the end, it turned out that he still had half of a cup left. He finished his cup and felt a little drowsy; he was sure that the drink made him sick. As he walked over to the kitchen to toss his cup out, he noticed that Michael was in there too, talking to Jody while he finished his own cup of eggnog.

Adam didn’t keep himself from gagging this time, catching the attention of Jody and Michael.

Michael quirked an eyebrow, “Is everything alright?”

Adam smiled, it almost seemed sarcastic. “Of course, I just feel a lightheaded for some reason.”

“Me too, actually.” Michael admitted.

“Oh?” Jody cleared her throat, “Uh, I just remembered I need to go do something.” She rushed out of the kitchen.

Michael tilted his head slightly but thought nothing off it. He looked to Adam, “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go check on my guests.”

The woman named Kelly walked in and casually handed Michael a red solo cup on his way out; he took it without question. Next, she handed another cup to Adam.

“O- Oh,” Adam coughed, “eggnog… thanks.”

When she left the room, Adam proceeded to sit down, defeated, and smack his forehead against the counter. Unfortunately for him, Kelly returned to sit with him; he was again obligated to finish his cup.

The party had officially started at seven and it was now nine but it seemed like party was just really getting started. Most of the guests had drunken a little too much of the champagne and it was beginning to affect them.

Adam managed to get away from Kelly’s conversation as well as his fresh cup of eggnog. He stepped out into the dining room where two doctors were having an arm wrestling contest while everyone else was just talking and laughing. Was it just him or was their laughing contagious. He smiled slightly and began to stride over to the corner where Michael was.

Adam’s smile soon faded when he felt himself lose his footing. He cursed under his breath as he stumbled forward and caught himself on the person across from him. This person just happened to be Michael.

The room burst into a fit of laughter, causing Adam to turn a bright shade of red. Nonetheless, he also began to giggle along with the rest of the crowd, “Sorry, doctor.” He whispered.

Michael bit his bottom lip in attempt to suppress a smile; he failed miserably, “ ‘s not a problem, Milligan.” He hummed, cupping the other man’s face with one hand while wrapping his other arm around his waist.

A bunch of the doctors and nurses began to whistle and holler.

Adam let out a quiet, content sigh. What was wrong with him? He felt like all the anxiety he usually felt when he was around Michael was suddenly gone. Realization soon hit him like a ton of bricks, he now had no doubts that the eggnog from before was spiked. If he was correct, Michael had drunk quite a bit of the holiday drink as well.

One of the doctors tapped her metal spoon against the edge of her glass cup full of champagne to get the attention of the room, “Excuse me!” She shouted, “I’d like to point out the fact that there’s a mistletoe right above you two dorks.”

Michael and Adam looked up to see that the woman was correct. They looked back at each other and Adam’s face returned to its bright shade of red. Michael quirked an eyebrow as if to ask if it was okay to continue; the other man gave the slightest of nods.

As Michael began to lean forward, Adam wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him into the kiss. The kiss was far from graceful as both of the men were pretty damn wasted. However, they both enjoyed it even though they could still taste the light flavor of the eggnog in each other’s mouths.

Once they pulled away, Adam let out another string of giggles.

“Wow.”

“Wow is right.” Michael chuckled softly.

Adam stayed leaned against him for a few moments longer before pulling away, “Did you know the eggnog was spiked?”

“I hadn’t the slightest clue.” Michael admitted.

“Well, I’m glad it was because I probably wouldn’t have had the chance to get this close to you.” Adam purred.

After Michael lead Adam over to the couch where the continued their conversations and make out sessions without the encouragement of the mistletoe. Adam eventually found himself on Michael’s lap, feeling drowsier than ever. It looked like Michael was also struggling to keep consciousness.

“Mmm, do you want to stay the night?” Michael said lazily.

Adam leaned his forehead against his, “How forward of you,” he murmured with a soft laugh. “If you want me to, I’ll stay.”

“I’d love that. We can talk more in the morning.” Michael hummed. He gently pushed Adam off of his lap and on to the wide couch. He hovered over him for a moment to give him one last kiss before facing him to lie beside him.

Adam tangled his hands into Michael’s hair as the two fell asleep in each other’s arms. The guests saw themselves out at the end of the night.

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #midam #spn michael #adam milligan #domestic au #michael #eli scribbles #my writing

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mirkwoodshewolf · 7 years

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Revenge; Newt Scamander x reader

Thought I take a break and post up a romantic oneshot. After seeing FBAWTFT I instantly fell in love with Newt Scamander within the first five minutes of the movie (as I know everyone else did too) this also sparked my love for a certain Brit Oscar winning and nominnee actor *cough*EddieRedmayne*cough* well truthfully my first my 1st Redmayne film was Les Miserable but this movie opened my eyes and made me become a Red-maniac lol. Anyways I hope you all enjoy my first Newt Scamander oneshot and be warned of violence, maybe some swearing and angst feels but also some fluffiness. Please no hates b/c I didn’t grow up with Harry Potter I didn’t start watching the movies until High school if you’d like to know what the hell is wrong with me for doing that just message me and I’ll explain why, anyways I hope you all enjoy this in the end :)

________________________________________________________

I remember it. I remember it all, the day I first heard about it. I was in my Care for Magical Creature’s class working alongside my partner and best friend Newt Scamander, as we were reading about the Bowtruckles answering some of the books questions, one of the professors Albus Dumbledore came in and asked if he could see me personally.

At first everyone oohed and muttered thinking I had done something wrong and he caught me in the action but I just rolled my eyes and was allowed to follow him outside the classroom. Professor Dumbledore walked me outside the school and gave me the unfortunate news.

You see, growing up I never knew my parents, they died from Dragon Pox shortly after I was born leaving my older brother Jefferson to look after me. He was my best friend, we did everything together, and he always tried his best to give me a normal life.

He and I were always together, he was one of Hogwarts’ best wizards by only his second year. After graduating he joined the ranks of the defensive wizards chosen to protect Hogwarts from Gellert Grindelwald. He told me till the end my brother spoke only of me and asked that for his final death wish that I be given his greatest treasure.

His locket with a picture of our parents. I was also given his wand in memory of him.

All I remember as I was given the two things most dear to him was collapsing on my knees and crying so loud I attracted a crowd of students, including Newt who came up to me and held me as tight as he could.

I felt so numb. I couldn’t even stand. All I kept thinking was that this was all some sick, twisted dream or spell that I’ve been put under and seeing my worst fear come to life but as Newt kept rocking me I knew this wasn’t a dream because otherwise he’d be hurt or worse too.

Out of respect for what my brother has done and for the fact that I wanted to see him one last time, the Ministry allowed me to see my brother’s body. When I got to the Ministry they escorted me to their Morgue wing and there on a table was a white sheet covering a body.

“Are you sure you wish to do this Miss (l/n)?” asked one of the Ministry wizards. I nodded solemnly then just before the sheet was removed a voice cried out.

“Wait!” Soon Newt and his older brother Theseus and their mother came running down the hallway towards me. Newt ran up next to me and said. “I came as soon as I heard, (y/n) don’t do this to yourself, you know I’m here for you right?” I sniffled and nodded.

“I’m sorry but are you all family related”.

“We’re family friends, I was a dear friend with their parents and Emily appointed me the godmother of both her children, now if you gentlemen are really willing to show a child the dead body of her own brother then you’ll be hearing from your superiors on how you let a child do it unsupervised without her legal guardian present”. I turned to Newt in confusion but he held a finger up to his lips discreetly and allowed the room to be silent for a moment before the wizards nodded and soon my brother’s body was revealed to me.

He looked as if he were asleep. His eyes closed peacefully, his body relaxed but at the same time the glow he usually has around him was deathly white. I reached out and took his hand in mine as tears filled my eyes.

“His hand feels cold”. I tucked it back under the sheet hoping it would warm him up as I choked out, “why is it so cold?” Then I began breaking down in choked sobs not noticing that Newt was slowly coming up behind me. I turned to him and collapsed into his arms once again and he as always accepted me into his arms.

“Shhh, shhh. I’m here for you now, I’m here”.

The following week was the funeral and afterwards, his mother actually offered that I am welcome anytime for the holidays or anytime I need a place to call home. The Scamander’s treated me like one of their own and gladly accepted me without pity or sympathy, just allowed me to have a place to call home.

A few years later when Newt was in the process of being expelled from Hogwarts because of something Leta caused, I stepped forward to the Head Masters and said that he didn’t act alone in the accident, I helped him out with it. And even though Professor Dumbledore tried to defend us, it couldn’t stop our expulsion.

As we were on the train back to Newt’s farmhouse, he asked me why I did what I did and I told him the same thing he always told me shortly after my brother died.

“You don’t need to do this alone. I’m here for you, always and forever”. And it was that moment that Newt knew he no longer loved Leta, but he loved me and it was that moment we shared our first kiss.

For the next 13 years, Newt and I were inseparable. We did everything together, I helped him whenever we went to his home to help his mother’s Hippogriffs, when we worked in the Ministry for two years and now working on his new book “Fantastic Beasts and where to find them”.

As we both went together in search of threatened, endangered or misunderstood species and put them into Newt’s magical suitcase, our love grew stronger for one another. We even call ourselves “mum and dad” to our creatures. In fact I was the one who found Pickett and his whole branch in the forests of Norway and as an anniversary present I gave him Pickett who grew much attached to him (maybe because of all the stories I told of him, oops) and he found and rescued one of mine and my brother’s favorite creatures from being trafficked in Egypt, a Thunderbird. And Newt gave me the honor of picking a name for our Thunderbird.

I felt that in honor of my brother I would name him my brother’s middle name, Franklin but shorten it to Frank. Though Frank and I got along wonderfully well as he was just as protective of me as my brother was or could tell when I was sad thinking about him, I felt in my heart that we couldn’t keep Frank forever and he deserved to be free back in his homeland of Arizona.

I’ll never forget our voyage to America, all the trouble we got into and the new friends we made with the Goldstein sisters Tina and Queenie and I’ll never forget (even though he has) our dear muggle friend Jacob Kowalski.

But another reason I’ll never forget about our New York trip and this reason was not for the best, because that was the day I came face to face with my brother’s killer.

Gellert Grindelwald.

I remember as he was being taken away by two of President Picquery auras and he stopped right in front of me and Newt, it took every ounce of will power I had to not attack this bastard and end his life like he so easily did my brother 19 years ago. Newt sensing my anger at the time gently pushed me behind him shielding me from him and I heard my brother’s killer speak in a haunting whisper before being taken away and locked back up where he belongs.

After Grindelwald was taken away, we helped with obliviation of the muggles who had seen Credence wreak havoc as the Obscurial thank to Frank who we had finally decided to set free as he was our only hope in keeping the magical world from going to war with the muggles.

It was a tearful goodbye especially between me and Frank. He actually nuzzled deep into my chest and wrapped his wing around me chirping sadly as I cried into his feathers before forcing myself to gently push him away. After all that, Newt and I returned to England hoping to finish his book and the sooner that got done the sooner we would see Tina and Queenie again and give them a copy of his manuscript in person.

It’s now one year later and I was currently in Newt’s suitcase taking care of the Occamys giving them their supper while Newt was away with his publisher hoping that today was the day his book would get published. After feeding the Occamys, I went by Frank’s old habitat. We haven’t really found a new creature to live there yet and we didn’t feel like changing it since Frank was so much a part of both our lives we just couldn’t let go and change it up.

I then went into the shed and picked up the picture that I had of my brother. The picture moved with him smiling and I felt my heart clench. I can’t believe that tomorrow marks the 20th anniversary of his death.

Whomever came up with the saying “Time heals all wounds” was dead wrong, no matter how much time passes, you can never let go of the pain of losing someone, especially if it’s someone whom you’ve known all your life ever since you could crawl. He was the only blood family I had left, had I not met Newt and became his friend, I’d don’t know what I would’ve done with myself.

“Hello? (Y/n) love?” I heard Newt’s voice say.

“I’m in the shed darling!” He then popped in and swept me off my feet and spun me around. I squealed and laughed with delight and said. “What’s going on?”

“The publisher accepted my manuscript, “Fantastic Beasts and where to find them” will be published by the end of next week!” I squealed and wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

“Oh I’m so proud of you Newt, I knew you could do it”.

“Just imagine, how wizards young and old will have a better understanding of the creatures in our world”.

“I imagine that your book will be a required text for Hogwarts as well, that’ll show some of those doubters. They picked the wrong Honey Badger to mess with”. I teased as I tugged on his collar playfully.

“Why must you insist on calling me that?”

“Because you are” I then pulled him in for another kiss, this time with more passion and love.

“That’s not all, I happened to have picked up some familiar cargo on the way home, wait here”. He then ran out of the shed leaving me confused then coming into view was Tina, Queenie and Jacob! My face split into a great big smile as I ran up to Tina first and hugged her before moving onto Queenie and then finally Jacob.

“How is your memory back?” I had to ask Jacob. Last I saw him he was obliviated and went on to open up his bakery thanks to Newt and I leaving him the occamy eggshells for him as collateral.

“Queenie came into my bakery and after a few dates with her it suddenly just came back to me”.

“Well I’m glad to see that you both are finally together again, how is your bakery doing?”

“Ohh business is booming fast pretty soon I may expand to other states around America, hopefully if things keep going well as they are now”.

“Well I hope it all works out for you Jacob”. We hugged one last time before I then turned to the girls and I asked them. “What are you all doing here in London?”

“We thought it’d be a surprise if we came here to see you guys, plus we’ve always wanted to see London” Tina said. Now I’m no Legilimens like Queenie but I could feel there was another reason for them being here but I decided not to pry maybe soon the truth would be revealed.

“I see, now I assume Newt told you all the news about his book?”

“We found out and we’re so happy for you Newt, congratulations” Tina said with a smile.

After a while we all caught up with each other and just hung around the case introducing some of the new creatures that Newt and I have found in just the last year. I was currently grooming Dougal when Queenie who was standing at the entrance to the shed said to me.

“Hey (y/n),” I turned to her and she gestured with her head slightly, “who’s he?” Oh god, I can’t do this right now. Especially with his anniversary coming up tomorrow.

“No one”. I simply said as I went back to brushing Dougal.

“Your older brother Jefferson (l/n). You named Frank in honor of him”.

“Queenie I’m going to tell you the same thing Newt once told you, Please do not read my mind”.

“I’m sorry. People are easiest to read when they’re hurting”. She said solemnly. I then went back to Dougal and tried to get my mind off my brother but I could feel Queenie pecking away trying to make me think about him. I turned to her and said.

“What did I just say Queenie!?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just—heart-retching. You and your brother were just like me and Teenie. I can even hear his thoughts from you, he really did love you and he died protecting you”. My thoughts then turned to hatred towards the very man who killed my brother and took everything from me. “Oh (y/n) honey! You can’t think like that. You should listen to Newt, he’s right about vengeance”.

“What are you two talking about?” asked Jacob. Tears filled my eyes and Dougal sensing my emotions lifted his hand up and caught a tear as one slid down my cheek without me knowing it. He also wrapped his arms around me in a hug hoping that would comfort me but it didn’t.

“My brother” I stated bluntly.

“I didn’t know you had a brother” Tina said now getting into the conversation.

“We try to keep the conversations of him as minimal as possible” said Newt as he came up to me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“Why what’d he do?” asked Jacob.

“He died, 20 years ago tomorrow. He was murdered by Gellert Grindelwald” I sneered. Tina’s eyes widened and Jacob was speechless.

“(Y/n), love—” I placed Dougal down and left the case and headed towards mine and Newt’s bedroom.

Once I got there, I took out a secret dark arts spell-book that I had taken from the library and opened it up to the spell I have been searching for. I read about the spell and what it does once you speak the two words.

If there ever came a day when Grindelwald would show his face to me, I would first torture him to make him feel the pain he caused me for 20 years then I would finally speak out the two words to end his life once and for all.

Avada Kevadra.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n) love” Newt’s voice rung out softly as he came in and when he saw me reading a book he had never seen before so he slowly came over me and when he saw the spell I was reading, he forcefully grabbed the book and took my hands in his and stated firmly. “Why were you looking at the spell? (Y/n) why were you looking up the death curse!?” I only stared at him emotionlessly. He cupped my face in his hands and asked again “please say something my love”.

“You know the reason”.

“Oh love,” he took me into his arms and placed my arms around his neck while his arms wrapped around me tightly. He rubbed my back in soothing circles with one hand while his other hand stroked down my hair gently massaging my scalp. “Mum used to say that revenge is like a Basilisks’ venom, while you watch your enemy go down you’re being poisoned yourself. I can’t bear to see the love of my life lose herself to vengeance”. He kissed my cheek gingerly and kept his arms wrapped around me.

“I wish that this was all just a bad dream that Jefferson’s just played a really bad trick and will walk in here yelling ‘surprise’ like he used to”.

“I know my darling, I know” he whispered as he rocked me gently and very lightly kissed my temple. “Promise me you won’t go seeking revenge, if you feel these urges please come to me, I know there are no words I can say that’ll bring your brother back or to make what happened all those years ago go away but I promise to be here for you, always”.

“I promise” I muttered into his neck.

“That’s my girl”. He cupped my face and gently leaned his forehead against mine, his nose gingerly brushing against mine, his breath tickling my face then he gingerly pecked my nose before finally capturing my lips in a soft and gentle kiss. “Sleep my love” he whispered against my lips.

I adjusted myself onto my side of the bed and rested my head against my pillow while Newt tucked me in. He hovered over me stroking the hair away from my face and just watched me as I fell asleep. Once my eyes closed Newt leaned forward and kissed my cheek softly before I felt him leave the bedroom.

Though my eyes closed and I felt relaxed, I couldn’t bring myself to fall asleep. A storm then came over London that night and that’s when I began to hear voices just down the hall. I quietly got up and slowly walked down the hall to hear Tina, Queenie, Newt and Jacob talking in the living room.

“So that’s the real reason you’re here?” said Newt.

“President Picquery told me that he had escaped their custody just a month ago and rumors stated that he had returned here to Europe. He may be looking to seek revenge against you and (y/n) for turning him in” I heard Tina say.

So Grindelwald has escaped custody of MACUSA and is here in London seeking out Newt and I. My eyes narrowed and I went down to Newt’s case to pick up a few special things.

When I got to the shed, I went to my desk and pulled out a special engraved wand case and when I opened it up it revealed my brother’s wand that I kept in memory of him. I tucked it beside mine then crawled out of the case and looked inside my wardrobe and pulled back my dresses and suits to reveal a black wizard Ministry’s uniform that once belonged to my brother.

I stripped off my clothes and put on his Ministry uniform and surprisingly it fit me well. Once I looked at myself in the full length mirror I could swear I saw my brother looking back at me as I wore his uniform.

I held onto my locket tightly and looked at the picture of Newt and I together and vowed to myself he wasn’t going to meet Grindelwald again. I was going to end this right here and now. I then apparated out of the room and flew around the city of London hoping to find Grindelwald before anyone else did.

Back at the flat, Queenie catching my thoughts suddenly grew fearful and dropped her teacup slipping the tea all over the carpet.

“Queenie, you alright doll?” asked Jacob. She turned to Newt fearfully with tears glistening her eyes and Newt’s face suddenly grew fearful as he shot up like a bullet and ran towards our bedroom to find me not there. He then went inside my closet knowing I kept my brother’s uniform in there and saw it gone.

He apparated onto the rooftop of our flat crying out my name as Tina, Queenie and Jacob apparated alongside him.

“She’s going to seek revenge for her brother”. Newt stated worriedly.

“But he could kill her”. Jacob stated worriedly.

“That’s not what worries me. I’ve got to find her before she does something she regrets”.

“We’re coming with you” stated Tina.

“No! It’s too dangerous. This is between me and (y/n), at this point only I can reach out to her, I just hope I get to her before it’s too late. You three stay here and call the London Ministry and tell them what’s going on” Newt then apparated to find me.

I appeared in the countryside of London after getting some forceful advice from my brother’s old informant Jareth about where rumored sightings of Grindelwald have been said. I took out my wand and quickly stride across the countryside towards a nearby farmhouse and blew the barn doors off their hinges and walked inside the abandoned farmhouse.

“Show yourself coward!” I proclaimed as I had my wand at the ready.

“Coward?” Suddenly appearing before me was my brother’s killer. This time Newt wasn’t around to shield me from him but I didn’t care, I wanted to look him in the eyes as I drained his life like he so easily did my brother. “You know lass, you are either very brave or very stupid to come find me all alone. Have you come to be recruited?”

“I would rather be hung as the witch I am than serve for the likes of you” I snarled.

“Ohhh feisty aren’t we?” He mocked softly.

“You have no idea who I am do you?”

“No, no I know very well who you are, you’re that little witch who exposed me along with that friend of yours back in New York last year”.

“But you have no idea who I truly am do you!? Or what you did to me 20 years ago! Why don’t you take a closer look at this?” I withdrew my brother’s wand and snarled. “Do you recognize this wand?”

“No I can’t say that I do, sorry darling but I have no idea who you’re talking about”.

“Oh you better remember like your life depended on it!” I snarled out. “In fact, why don’t you take a good long look into my eyes?” To make sure I did this safely and for the fact I didn’t trust him, secretly behind my back I used my wand to turn the hay behind him into secret binds which then suddenly wrapped around his wrists and ankles and held him there tightly for good measures.

I then walked right up to him and stared into his eyes and he looked into mine and I could see that something clicked inside of him.

“Ahhh yes, I recognize those eyes anywhere. That young man Jefferson was his name right? I remember your picture he kept in his uniform, such a sweet looking little girl you were, must’ve done quite a bit on you when you heard he died”.

“It was, all because of you. Because of you I lost the only family I had in this world, my brother did nothing to you so why kill him? Why!?” Grindelwald only just looked at me with a smug grin not answering me. I shook my head softly and walked back from him and proclaimed. “Crucio!” My wand then shot out and hit Grindelwald right in the stomach causing him excruciating pain. “I’m told that is your favorite spell to use, the one you use over and over and over again on my brother until finally you killed him. Now I’m gonna make sure you deserve the same fate”.

Multiple times I cried out Crucio and shot it right at Grindelwald until finally I released him from his bonds when he was weak enough to not even move. I then called out Accio to get his wand so he could even think about trying to get back at me.

I then stood over him and he only laid there weak and pathetic and I placed my foot on top of him to pin him down and held my wand out the tip glowing a bright green as I had the death spell chanting in my mind.

“(Y/N)!!!!!” Newt’s voice cried out as he then entered the barn to see me over Grindelwald with my wand pointed at him.

“This doesn’t concern you Newt!”

“It does if you’re involved, (y/n) please the Ministry is coming here they’ll deal with him. He will get the justice he deserves for all those deaths, including Jefferson’s”.

“You should listen to your boyfriend there kid. What would Jefferson think of his precious baby sister—?”

“YOU SAY HIS NAME AGAIN AND I END YOU!!!” I shot another Crucio spell at him.

“(Y/N) STOP!” Newt screamed out. My wand turned green again and Grindelwald chuckled icily and said.

“You know that spell only has one ticket kid, you use it now there’s no going back”.

“You don’t think I know what it does? You don’t think I’ll do it?”

“I know you will. I was just like you once kid. I lost family and I was mocked, no one ever believed in me. So you can go ahead and end this, because if you don’t. I will destroy everything you love, starting with that man of yours over there. So go ahead do your part, and end this right here before it even starts”. He and I stared off at each other as my wand grew brighter with the green light as the Avada Kevadra spell screamed in my mind.

I didn’t see him but Newt was slowly approaching me like he would any of his creatures staring at me worriedly.

“Do it sweetheart” Grindelwald whispered.

“Darling, put your wand down”. Newt stated softly. As he got a bit closer to me he continued, “If you say that spell, you will be the one who ruins your life this time. Mine, Tina and Queenie’s, even Jacob’s and our creatures!”

“I’m protecting you all” I muttered soullessly as I kept my eyes on my target.

“Then lower your wand! Jefferson wouldn’t want you to do this love”.

“You don’t know what he would’ve wanted!” I snarled lowly.

“Yes I do. Because if you cross this line, the journey back won’t be easy, trust me. Look at who you’re about to kill. This is what Grindelwald wants you to do, so don’t!”

Silence stood between all of us as Grindelwald only smirked at me, my eyes locked onto him venomously and Newt looking at me like he was about to break down crying but still trying to hold onto some strength he had due to his love for me.

“(Y/n)! You’re better than this” he finished hoping that his last words would finally break through my clouded vengeance.

My wand grew brighter as the words were just about to come out of my mouth when something happened.

The green light dimmed down until it disappeared, I lifted my foot off of Grindelwald’s chest and backed away. Newt closed his eyes silently sighing of relief while Grindelwald only looked at me confused.

I felt numb. I wanted to kill him truly I did but something inside of me just stopped me. It was like some force was holding my hand that was gripping my wand telling me not to do it.

I collapsed to the floor but before I fell to my knees, Newt caught me in his arms just as the Ministry arrived and took care of my brother’s killer. Not wanting to get more involved than we already where, Newt apparated us out of the barn back to our flat.

As we entered inside, Jacob, Queenie and Tina were all there all crowding around me chattering at once asking me if I was okay and why I ran off like that but Newt told them to be quiet and took me to the one place he knew we would have total privacy.

His case.

I sat there emotionless on a chair with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders as I stared at the moving picture of my brother. His sweet smile and his lively blue eyes, if he were alive and saw what I was about to do, I know those eyes would’ve held such disappointment and shame in them and his smile would deepen into a frown.

Newt came in front of me and held out a warm cup of tea and placed it into my hands before kneeling down in front of me.

“You hate me don’t you?”

“No darling, I could never hate you. I know why you did what you did. If he or anyone else had killed you or my mother, believe me I would’ve done the exact same thing you did”.

“I wanted to kill him, I truly did. But you mentioning Jefferson made me think about him. Bet he would’ve yelled at me and disowned me as his sister for what I’ve done”.

“He wouldn’t darling”.

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’ve met him. And Jefferson was never the type of person to write someone off because of a mistake. He loved you so much that he’d give you the world if you asked for it. Jefferson wanted to give you the life he felt you deserve, and sometimes in life we have to forgive and forget the past so that we can have a future”.

“But I’ll never forgive him! I’ll never forgive or forget what he did to me. I just—Jefferson didn’t deserve to die. Not like that”.

“No one does my love, but he died to protect you. Most of the ministry people they don’t really have family because of what they do for a living. They go out there because they are forced to and are willing to die for their jobs, but Jefferson went out there because of you. Because of his love for you, he wanted you safe so that you could grow into a beautiful, bright minded young woman, the same woman that always makes me fall in love with her more and more each day for the past 13 years”.

He cupped my face into his hands as he spoke those words staring deeply into my eyes.

“Now come on give me a smile, can you give me a smile?” I giggled softly as a smile came across my face and he said, “There’s the woman I fell in love with”. He leaned in and kissed me softly.

After our short kiss I turned towards my brother’s picture solemnly and Newt leaned his head against mine holding me with one arm wrapped around me.

“I know this day will never be easy, I know that time can’t truly heal all wounds, and believe me I would go to the ends of the earth to find that cure so that I could hopefully ease your pain of this day, but maybe this will have to do for now”. He then held out a small grey box with a yellow ribbon wrapped around it and handed it to me.

I took it from him and untied the ribbon and opened up the box and saw the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It held both our house colors as gems around the actual diamond itself. I turned to Newt in shock and he said.

“I was hoping when I did this that he wouldn’t come into the picture, but I guess now’s a good a time as any. (Y/n) from the day we first met, I knew you were special. No other girl has made me feel the way you do. At first I thought Leta was the one but when you stood by my side and said to the Headmasters back at Hogwarts that we caused the accident together I knew that you were the one, not Leta. And for the past 13 years you have been there by my side helping me with your creatures, being the best mum you could be to them and supporting me with my book no matter how many times I felt down on myself about it. So (y/full/n) will you make me the happiest man in the world and be my wife?”

My eyes filled with tears and a huge smile spread across my face and I whimpered out.

“Yes! Yes Newt!” He smiled and took the ring out and placed it on my finger and we both leaned into each other and sealed our engagement with a passionate kiss before hugging each other while I choked on my happy sobs.

For 20 years I have lived this day in silent grief, always looking on the past and never ahead but today my fiancée Newt Scamander has given me something to look forward to in our future. A new life with him as my husband for the rest of time.

I’ll always miss my brother but I know he’s looking down at me smiling at my engagement and also wishing he was alive to give Newt the serious big brother talk he’s always talked about wanting to give to any man I date.

#newt scamander #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander fluff #fbawtft #fluff #angst #romance #fbawtft fandom #newt

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