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hatelangdon · 7 months

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I got you, baby.

Pt 1 / 1094 words.

(Franken!Kyle x Witch!Reader)

Angst, Hurt/ No comfort turns into Fluff and Hurt/comfort

(🚨Warnings: ABUSIVE language from a partner, physical ABUSE from a partner, crying, verbal stutters, anxiety attack? Maybe?🚨)

Summary: Zoe left, it was all too much for her. Kyle has made himself physically ill from the heartbreak he feels, and Madison isn't necessarily the best caregiver and someone needs to show him some kindness.

(A/N: I love my sweet angel baby, he deserves only the best. IM SO SORRY IF THIS BREAKS YOUR HEART IT BROKE MINE WRITING IT Also, this is not proofread i'm sorry but Kim, there's people that are dying.)

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It had been a week since Zoe's departure from the coven, it was all too much. Taking care of Kyle, Madison's constant harassment, and the pressures of training her powers had drowned her spirit. She had managed to make it out of Kyle's grip in the middle of the night and sneak out.

The only thing that she left was a goodbye note telling Kyle that she loved him but ultimately she chose herself.

Nights were always the hardest you could hear Kyle crying throughout the walls of the mansion.

Zoe had basically left him high and dry and in the hands of Madison, who’s attempts to comfort him weren't the greatest. Her patience was thin and if Kyle wasn't calming down fast enough for her she would often become very cruel towards him.

The other girls tried to help him stay sane during the day, Queenie would often read to him, and misty would play Fleetwood Mac and invite him to dance, in attempts to lift his spirits.

You wanted to do more but you had only joined the coven about a month ago so you didn't really know Kyle well enough to extend more than a passing smile if he was near.

It would work for the most part, he felt better as long as he was distracted.

But once nighttime rolled around and he had no Zoe to hold onto that's when everything would change. It had gotten so bad that Cordelia often had to create botanic concoctions from the greenhouse and have him drink it as a sedative so the poor baby could get some sleep, instead of keeping himself awake from sobbing from heartache.

It was Wednesday, 8 PM that's usually when the trouble started

“Zoe…Zoe...” you could hear Kyle sobbing but his voice was more hoarse than usual

“she's not here you idiot! I keep telling you this! she left you, she didn't want you, she doesn’t love you like I do!,” Madison barked back

which only made Kyles cries louder, he hated when she spoke to him like that.

“I am so sick of this!”

There was suddenly a loud thump on the wall and you heard Kyle scream which caused you to get out of bed and see what was going on.

Madison had thrown him back onto the wall where she was repeatedly kicking him and yelling.

” I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT WHO CARES ABOUT YOU! STOP CALLING FOR HER, SHE'S NOT COMING BACK YOU ONLY HAVE ME!”

It's only made Kyle cry harder as he shielded his face from her relentless attacks, he was much stronger than her and more than capable of throwing her across the room if he wanted, but he couldn't seem to get up.

“Kyle sorry! Kyle Sorry!” He choked out repeatedly but Madison was not letting up.

She suddenly stopped, stooping down and grabbing his face making him look up at her.

“you wonder why Zoe left," she scoffed "look at how needy and ungrateful you are, I'm trying to help you and all you can think about is her.”

Your heart broke at the sight, and without even thinking you had thrown Madison across the room with a flick of your wrist. You didn’t even know you had the power, but it came to you with ease in that moment. You marched over to Madison where you had thrown her, even though Kyle was in distress you needed to set her straight first and give him time.

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?” She sat up to look at you, rubbing her head

“have you lost yours?” Your tone was so calm it was almost sinister, you stare down at her your eyes piercing she suddenly started to cough it felt like someone was gripping her throat, you were doing it, with your mind. “Now, Madison I'm going to keep this very short and simple for you,” you tilted your head

“you can choose to leave the house or I can crush your windpipe, and have you die a second time." You smiled "hold up your fingers, option one or two?”

Madison, lips blue held up her index finger and you released your grip from her neck.

“I never wanna see anything like that again.” your glare intensified and you turned around to check on Kyle.

"stupid bitch" Madison stood up, of course she tried to lunge at you but you're smarter than that, all it took was a slight raise of your hand and she was frozen mid air, you decided to keep her that way.

Kyle had balled himself into the corner, he was absolutely inconsolable, hitting his head with his hands as he sobbed

“Stupid, stupid, stupid” he repeated over and over again as his face only got redder and redder.

Your already broken heart had torn clean in half at the sight. You got down to his level

“Kyle no, no no no no no” you whispered, grabbing his hands to stop him from bashing his own head

“Hey buddy, it’s y/n. You’re safe, just calm down for me." You tried to rub his back to comfort him, but you were suddenly surprised by his arms wrapping around you completely, as he sobbed into your shoulder, shaking.

“I'm sorry she did this to you, I got you. I got you." You rubbed his cheek with your thumb, trying to soothe him as he hid himself away in the crook of your neck, you could feel his muscles become less tense as you held him. He felt so warm, and his eyes were rimmed red and puffy, he obviously wasn't feeling very well.

"Let's get you into bed honey, you're exhausted." you rocked him back and forth, his cries had calmed down but his hold on you had not eased. You were very careful to lift him with your own body, you felt him tense back up as he realized Madison was still in the room although she was frozen his knees buckled, if you hadn't been holding him up he would've fell back down.

"...We'll put you in my bed tonight, is that okay?" you held his cheek in the palm of your hand while his big brown eyes met yours.

He nodded

"Y-y-y/n g-good." he pressed his forehead to yours.

you blinked a couple times, and nodded,

"I am good, I'm going to take care of you Kyle. okay? I won't let anyone else hurt you."

The blonde gave you a gentle smile, and held your hand as you lead him down the hall to your room.

(Part 2 )

#kyle my beloved #franken kyle #kyle spencer #ahs coven #american horror story #ahs fandom #ahs murder house #evan peters #coven #madison montgomery #hurt/comfort #whump #thats all i got #american horror story coven #ahs hotel #ahs asylum #angst

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elden-hicks · 22 days

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the second gen capp and monty headcanon dump

as much as i like the local teens, i think the adults deserve the love too. some of them were created through a collaboration with my dear friend push. i'll add the read more link after goneril's headcanons, so if someone doesn't want to read the full post could scroll through more easily.

the capp sibs

goneril capp:

the middle child with an inferior complex: was convinced that she can't be beautiful as cordelia and smart as regan, and is clearly unfavored by both of her parents. despite her cold and strict façade, goneril's a very emotional person.

a massive people pleaser, especially when it comes to her parents. only had that much kids in hopes that contessa would've chosen her kid as an heir. dropped that idea only after she passed, seemingly regretting even doing so. nowadays, after contessa's death, she's truly trying to be a better mother, even though she thinks it's a little too late in miranda's case.

used to date claudio in the past and was almost ready to abandon her home just to be with him, until she learnt that he only dated her as "a dare". he had also publicly broke up with her, making her look like a desperate. she'd never forgave him for that stunt, of course. years after she's still thinking whether she was in love with him or the idea of him. the idea of being free, to be particular.

one of the best dressed people in the town, always knows how to present herself.

is keen on cooking, though, she's not as skillful as kent, she really enjoys the process of preparing the food

regan capp:

the youngest daughter, so she had not as much pressure from her parents compared as her older sisters. it suits them fine, since they enjoy doing the things on their own. tends to be very independent and stubborn in her descision making as a result.

consort's favorite kid, undoubtedly, since she was named after his prime caretaker (his grandma) and resembles contessa A LOT, both by appearance and character (the list also includes her eyesight problems and difficulties with showing emotions). however, due to her resemblance to their mother, they're often targeted by isabella monty, whenever they cross paths.

is a staunch childfree, she had enough of watching her parents and sisters raising kids to be permanently dissuaded from having them in her life.

is heavily into sports, does a lot of activities like jogging, swimming, playing tennis and football and skiing. they are also a master fencer in the family, tybalt swears one day he will prevail and take over the title from his aunt.

astronomy is her non-sport passion. they enjoy spending their time at the veronaville observatory and fighting with antonio monty over that territory

a bisexual, who also kind of questioned her gender before, has some tendencies towards non-binarity but she's still isn't so sure about it. a she/they pronoun user.

kent capp:

is an accident kid, also the youngest one and the only son - truly a misfortunate fate to have, once you had born in the capp family. contessa had a trouble with birthing him, so consort still (subconsciously) blames kent for contessa's declined health after that. he's the only kid who vastly prefers contessa to consort as a parental figure.

as a result, he hides his unique eyes with the blue lenses in order to have less similarities with that man. would rather die than call consort a father.

has a super fancy STEM degree, never worked a day in his actual work field, instead had changed like 10 to 15 low-paying jobs. from a cashier to a delivery guy to a stripper - you name it!

despite being against the feud, he still takes offence on his sisters' and niblings' behalf. once claudio referred goneril's dress as a "hoe sack", and the next day his car's tires were suspiciously slashed.

has passion for cooking and is darn great at it. once pranked the montys by hiring himself into their restaurant as a cook, they only figured it out after almost a month of his work.

probably one day would open his own gay bar with some cool appetizers and cocktails of his own creating

has a long-lost twin brother in strangetown named vidcund

cordelia capp:

the eldest. the heiress. contessa's favourite. a true capp woman. was very beautiful and charismatic

wasn't as goody-two-shoes person as she initially appeared, though she wasn't necessarily evil or nasty but she had her downsides.

cordelia was very, VERY headstrong and was not afraid to show her teeth when she couldn't have her thing "in a nice way".

yes, she was against the feud, that is correct, but she'd also been driven by the potential financial profit. after all, feuding can be pretty expensive both on money and lives. wasn't above of idea of eloping juliette with one of the claudio's sons, if it could seal the peace deal.

had this surprising ruthlessness when it came to managing stuff in business, yet she lacked regan's foresight in some ways.

still, despite not being the greatest mother on earth, treated her children equally, compared to her parents, each of whom had their own favorite.

the monty sibs

antonio monty:

a middle child, he's meek and overempathetic compared to much bolder bianca and claudio. he's also very easy person to manipulate or guiltrip

had always been on chubby side, since his early childhood, the only time when he was fit was his late teens-early adulthood years

the most skilfull monty in the cooking field (besides isabella) but he had always wanted to be an astronaut instead. still to this day has a passion for astronomy and, of course, out of all people in veronaville, the other person who's into that as much as him is that goddamn capp woman

he likes cooking in general, but he doesn't like do it for life, yet he feels obliged to do so, since his siblings and niblings are quite unhelpful. he personally peaked as a chef with that prize-winning wedding cake of his

used to be a punk in his teen/college student years, looking back, he's not really proud of who he was back then due to some questionable stuff he had done, but those were his golden years for sure

before hero came into the picture, the rest of the family speculated whether antonio was gay or not

he's either insomniac or sleeps like a rock, there's no in between

bianca monty:

the youngest child, also a daughter. unlike kent, she wasn't as screwed being the youngest monty and a girl

is an accountant at the restaurant, won't even come closer to a working stove for more than five meters. she also works as a freelance comic artist and the interior designer (has a degree in it, actually)

is vegan, which sometimes can be exhausting, cause the rest of the family are avid meat-eaters, but antonio usually accommodates to his lil' sis by making her favorite vegan dishes for the family gatherings

is an aroace, doesn't really want a romantic relationship, but still wants a child. seriously considered an option of kent being her sperm donor

she's terrible at handling the alcohol. does a lot of weird shit whenever she's wasted.

claudio monty:

was the eldest son. a proud, self-assured man. patrizio was hoping that he'd take over the restaurant after he retires. unfortunately for him, he outlived his own son.

was an asshole, to be precise. yes, he was very competitive, very determined, was an "efficient business manager", but an asshole nevertheless.

dreamed of becoming a famous musician and even had his own band in his teens. wrote a lot of songs about his exes, lol. most of them are kind of mid, though there was the one which made it to the local veronaville radio station and became a hit. this one he wrote about goneril in particular. even till his later years, he wasn't sure whether he actually loved her or not.

was rumored to be involved with antonio's late wife, hero. no one truly knows whether the rumors were true. he was also named as a main reason for her passing, shortly after his own death, though antonio prefers to believe it was the capps' deed.

romeo was his favorite one, since mercutio was the one who made him tie a knot with his mother

#ts2 #the sims 2 #veronaville #cordelia capp #goneril capp #regan capp #kent capp #claudio monty #antonio monty #bianca monty #seth's ramblings

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ravenya003 · 4 months

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Welcome to the Hellmouth, S01E01

My 2024 Buffy the Vampire Slayer rewatch starts NOW!

Before I jump in, here’s some quick housekeeping:

I’ll endeavour to do this on a weekly basis; watching an episode on Saturday night and writing up a post on Sunday.

I’m not going to worry about spoilers. This show was as good as it was because of how interconnected the themes and storylines were, so if something in season one reminds me of something in season seven, I’m going to mention it.

This is the first time I’ve watched this show (probably) since high school, and it’s almost certainly the first time I’ve watched it from start to finish. It’s actually rather dizzying in this age of eight episode shows that get cancelled after two seasons to consider there are one hundred and forty-four episodes of Buffy that span seven years.

Obviously I am not unaware of Joss Whedon’s mistreatment of others on the set of Buffy, and where it seems relevant I’ll bring it up. But I also don’t think it’s fair to the rest of the cast and crew to throw the entire show under the bus because of one person, especially when it had such a huge (positive) impact on so many lives.

For the record, my favourite ships are Willow/Oz, Giles/Jenny and Spike/Drusilla. My purpose in pointing this out is to make clear that I don’t watch this show to see what true love looks like, but to watch a close-knit band of social misfits fight the forces of evil together. To me, the heart of this show is the friendship between Buffy, Xander, Willow and Giles. The show is always at its strongest when it’s focusing on the four of them, and most of the love stories just don’t interest me that much.

Once season three is over, I’ll start alternating between Buffy and Angel episodes.

Okay, let’s get to it.

First of all, I was not prepared for how dated everything looks and sounds. Naturally my most recent memories of Buffy are watching the later seasons, when there’s cellphones and internet access and fashion choices that wouldn’t seem out of place today – but season one looks like a different era entirely.

There are some references that have dated amusingly (Cordelia and Buffy bond over their shared appreciation for James Spader), some that I didn’t get at all (who’s John Tesh? What’s Debarge?) and a few synthesized musical cues that are straight out of the nineties.

I had forgotten that the Cold Open involves Julie Benz as Darla, and that show-defining twist when it turns out that she’s the vampire and not her predatory date. Ah, Red Shirt #1 played by Carmine Giovinazzo – you have the distinction of being this show’s first victim. I salute you.

Also, it’s amusing to think that we had no idea just how important Darla would end up being to the franchise’s lore. She’s just a standard vampire minion at this early stage, though I do like the fact that she was presumably cast to look a bit like Buffy.

And of course, it all starts at good old Sunnydale High.

Our first glimpse of Buffy Summers begins with her in the middle of a nightmare, which... girl, get used to this plot device. This one is a bit more muddled than her later dreams, made up of a bunch of clips that’ll be used in later episodes that culminate in the Master, the season’s Big Bad.

I had to smile at the sight of those yellow school buses pulling up at the front of Sunnydale High. Buffy may not arrive at school in one of these things, but seven years later, she’s sure as hell going to leave in one.

Joyce – and later on, Angel – are both perfect examples of Characterization Marches On regarding the fact the writers’ room hasn’t quite settled on their personalities yet. In Joyce’s case, she comes across as a lot more flaky than in later appearances.

Oh, and here’s Xander, riding in on a skateboard that we’ll never see him use again across the entire run of the series. I get that he’s a very contentious character in the annals of the show, and though I’m certainly not going to let him off the hook for his occasional (frequent?) shitty behaviour, I also think I’m fonder of him than the average fan.

Honestly, I think Joss Whedon doomed him a little when he stated that Xander was the character most based on him in high school. Suddenly all his entitled, chauvinist behaviour was re-evaluated through the lens of knowing that Whedon was a pretty awful person – but I hope we can all agree that even at his worst, Xander is a MUCH better human being than Whedon.

We’ll see how we go.

Interesting that Willow’s history with Xander is established well before she meets Buffy. Not surprising, since they’ve known each other since early childhood, but interesting. Buffy is the protagonist, but Xander/Willow’s relationship with each other takes precedence when it comes to introducing the gang’s dynamics.

And hey, it’s Eric Balfour as Jesse! Oh man, they really dropped the ball on this character, didn’t they. It’s the one aspect of this two-part premiere that really doesn’t work... but I’ll get to that in good time.

Principle Flutie! Something else I’d totally forgotten; I honestly thought this show started with Snyder.

Also, that initial on his desk plaque is B. Does that mean his name is actually Bob (which is what he tells Buffy to call him)? Not Robert? Weird.

Buffy and Xander’s meetcute involves him helping her pick up some of the spilled contents of her bag, and accidentally saying: “can I have you?” instead of “can I help you?” Oof. Yeah, that’s not an auspicious start.

Buffy meets Cordelia before she meets Willow, and Cordelia comes across as surprisingly nice when she shares her textbook with Buffy and invites her into Sunnydale's popular clique. Then of course, the second relatively big twist of the episode occurs: Cordelia reverts into absolute bitchiness when they come across Willow at the drinking fountain.

Willow scarpers and Buffy looks deeply uncomfortable. There’s a nice subtext across this episode that suggests Buffy was once just like Cordelia, only for her calling to make her more sympathetic to social “losers” like Xander and Willow.

Cordelia also describes the Bronze as being in “the bad part of town”. Huh? I’m going to chalk that one down to more Early Instalment Weirdness, since I don’t think it ever comes up again. (Later Sunnydale is described as a “one Starbucks town”, which is also funny since it’s later revealed to contain a zoo, a shopping mall, several lakes and parks, a military base, and a university).

Buffy enters the library for the first time, and the first thing she sees is a newspaper with an article titled “local boys still missing” outlined in red. The plurality of “boys” means that this isn’t referring to Darla’s kill, which probably only happened the night before anyway. Instead, it’s an indication that there are ongoing problems of a supernatural nature in Sunnydale.

And here’s Giles! The most interesting thing about this interaction is that Giles has clearly been waiting for Buffy. As in, he knows that the Slayer is scheduled to appear in Sunnydale, and that she’s going to be enrolled in its local high school. As Willow says later on, he’s also a newcomer, having only recently taken the position of school librarian.

The show never goes into any more detail than this, but I have so many questions. Clearly Buffy was under surveillance from the Watchers Council, who knew she was coming and made sure Giles had a cover story and a position to fill at Sunnydale High so that he could more easily sidle himself into her life, but a part of me wonders they pulled similar strings for Joyce to get her that job at the art gallery in order to bring Buffy to Sunnydale in the first place.

Evidence for this is that Giles already knows it’s a hotbed for supernatural activity in his discussions with her, though I suppose his dialogue suggests it’s more fate (or the Powers That Be?) rather than the Watchers Council that had a hand in Buffy’s arrival at the Hellmouth (“there’s a reason you’re here and a reason why it’s now”). Still, it’s an interesting theory to ponder, and I always felt it was a shame that the show never delved too deeply into Buffy’s life after she became a Slayer but before she moved to Sunnydale.

(Though I suppose that had to do with the spectre of the 1992 Buffy movie, who’s relationship with this show is a bit tenuous. But now I’m getting off-track).

Buffy flees from Giles and strikes up a conversation with Willow instead. Willow’s eagerness and earnestness is very cute, and though she probably has the most profound development of any other character on this show, I’ll always miss this early dorky version of her.

In describing the library, Buffy says it gives her “the wiggins”. HAH! Remember that word? Remember how it didn’t exist anywhere except this show? Remember how it was essentially Whedon’s attempt to make fetch happen? Aw, man. What a delightful throwback.

On hearing that a body has been found stuffed in a locker, Buffy naturally cannot help but investigate – though I suppose we can chalk it down just as much to her wanting confirmation on whether or not vampires are in town than to any personal sense of responsibility.

Our first glimpse of her super strength comes when she busts through the locked door into the changing room, and she gives a weary “oh great” on seeing the bitemarks in the victim’s neck.

But then of course, she follows this up by sharing her discovery with Giles, who is quick to point out that she’s doing something about it. I have a soft spot for heroes who simply cannot walk away from danger and/or a situation that needs their intervention, regardless of how loudly they grumble about it.

Turns out Xander has heard their entire conversation about vampires and Watchers and Slayers from behind the stacks... which is an elegant not-coincidence since it was established earlier in the episode (in his conversation with Willow) that he was going to the library for a trigonometry book.

Giles is still jabbering about how Sunnydale is a centre of mystical energy that attracts all kinds of supernatural beings, and Buffy’s skepticism naturally gives way to a panning shot of an underground cave where a formidable-looking vampire is intoning “the Sleeper will wake” over a pool of blood.

As villains go, the Master is obviously not particularly inspired, especially since he spends most of this season as a quintessential Orcus on His Throne, but it was also way too early in the game to have a complex or personal Big Bad. You can’t come out the gate with a Glory or an Angelus, and I think he serves his purpose just fine as a Nosferatu-esque spectre that a sixteen-year-old girl would understandably be intimidated by.

Ditto Luke as the show’s Starter Villain: a physical threat to Buffy without being all that interesting.

On Buffy’s way to the Bronze we get our first Angel sighting, and much like Joyce, his characterization is a bit off. He’s way too smarmy and negging, but also... kind of upbeat? It’s amusing to reflect that the writers room knew very little about him at this point, including the fact that he was a vampire (making his “I don’t bite” comment deeply ironic) so it’s lucky that they never filmed any of his scenes in daylight before the truth comes out six episodes later.

In any case, his role in this episode is to namedrop things like “the Mouth of Hell” and “the Harvest” (which Giles will start researching as soon as Buffy passes them on to him) and give Buffy the silver crucifix which... becomes important at some stage? I remember the claddagh ring in season three, but have no recollection of this necklace.

Also intriguing is this dialogue between them: Angel – “I’m a friend.” Buffy – “Maybe I don’t want a friend.” Angel – “I didn’t say I was yours.”

I mean, I know it’s just meaningless banter, but Buffy assumes the “friend” he’s talking about is Giles, who soon confirms that he’s never met him before. So was Angel actually referring to The Powers That Be? Whistler, maybe? Again, I know that this was just filler dialogue with no established context, but I’d be interested to see if it fits in with season two’s flashbacks where he’s introduced to Buffy from a distance.

There’s a very sweet interaction between Buffy and Willow at the Bronze, in which the former gives the latter some advice (“seize the day, because tomorrow you might be dead”) and assures her she’s coming back – despite Willow’s expectation that she won’t – when she spots Giles on an overhead balcony.

The staging of the scene between her and Giles is a bit sus – did he really have to stand behind her and lean over her like that? – but at his insistence she spots a vampire in the crowd, though not because of her preternatural senses, but because of his dated fashion sense. And uh-oh, he’s chatting up Willow, who is unfortunately taking Buffy’s “seize the day” advice.

A throwaway line from Cordelia down on the dance floor is telling: apparently her mother never gets out of bed. Our resident Alpha Bitch clearly doesn’t have a great home life.

Poor Jesse gets the brush-off from Cordelia and runs straight into Darla instead. The reveal is wonderfully corny, in which she swivels around in her hanging basket chair with a smile that wouldn’t melt butter.

We’re heading into the third act cliff-hanger now: Willow is being ushered through a graveyard by her vampiric date, Jesse is clearly also in danger, the Master has risen and sent out his minions to bring him fresh blood, and Xander’s skepticism over Buffy’s Slayer status quickly turns to concern when he learns that Willow is in trouble.

They all converge in a graveyard crypt, and – bless her – Buffy is bantering right off the bat. It’s actually a pretty good tactic, as the vampires are caught off-guard by her confidence. Though... shouldn’t Darla clock the fact that she’s a Slayer? We learn later that she’s familiar with the concept, though this is obviously another case of not having figured out the character’s background at this early stage.

A point in Xander’s favour: Buffy tells him to “go” and instead he enters the crypt to help Jesse and Willow. You have to admit, that’s classic Xander.

And we end with Xander/Willow/Jesse being threatened by more vampires outside, as Luke lowers himself onto Buffy after he’s thrown her into an open tomb. To be continued...

Miscellaneous Observations:

Do we ever get an explanation for the force field that’s keeping the Master trapped underground? It’s obviously magic, so who put it in place?

How did Angel know about the Harvest? Who sent him? I know the answers are still to come, but the question is deliberately left dangling in this episode.

Giles mentions incubus and succubus in his litany of monsters that are attracted to Sunnydale, but I think they’re the only two creatures that never actually appear in the show.

I love the little glimpses of non-main characters going about their business in Sunnydale, namely Aphrodesia and Aura gossiping about Buffy before the dead guy falls out of the latter’s locker. I wonder if those girls made it to Graduation Day...

Watching this episode, the most eye-opening character is Cordelia, who has quite the epic journey ahead of her. It’s almost funny to see her in a role that requires her to be little more than Buffy’s antagonist and foil – essentially what Buffy would have been without her calling. I’m taking a moment to think about where all these characters end up, and it’s pretty dizzying.

Giles gives the famous Slayer mantra: “Into every generation a Slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a Chosen One. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer.” This is repeated in the show’s very final episode, and not only forms the crux of Buffy’s entire identity crisis, but also serves as the inspiration for her solution to it. Damn, I love this show.

But who the heck is the guy who speaks these lines in the opening introduction?? It’s later taken over by Anthony Stewart Head, but in season one at least we get a completely unfamiliar narrator.

As excited as I am to embark on this rewatch, I know that after the third season the show loses its centre a bit as the main trio form relationships that are ostensibly more important than the one they have with each other. I love these early seasons because their friendship is clearly the focus of the show – the thing not only protecting them against the forces of evil, but getting them through the hell that is high school.

The show loses its lustre when it loses sight of their bond, but I have three whole seasons to enjoy before that happens. Let’s do this.

Best Line: Cordelia (after Buffy has accidentally slammed her against a wall, thinking she’s a vampire): “Excuse me, I have to call EVERYONE I have EVER met, RIGHT NOW.”

Best Scene: The climatic fight in the crypt, not for the fight itself, but for the shock on Xander and Willow’s faces as the world (and their lives) irrevocably change.

Best Subversion: Obviously when the vulnerable and demure little blonde in the Cold Open reveals herself to be the real danger in the room.

Death Toll: Darla's date in the cold open. Thomas, the vampire that Buffy dusts in the crypt. Also, the newspaper in the library mentioned "local boys still missing" but since we never see them on-screen, the toll stands at TWO.

Grand Total: One civilian, one villain.

#buffy the vampire slayer #rav's watching log #welcome to the hellmouth #rav's buffy rewatch #buffy season one

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livingfictionsystem · 2 months

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Queen of Air and Darkness Review (SPOILERS)

It was good timing that I read this when I did because I was beginning to get self-conscious over the fact that a novel I was about to publish was nearly 600 pages. I am, by no means, a slow reader but this 900-page monster took A While.

So, the bad first. Cassandra Clare, please, I beg of you, stop with the 'We're so in love but we have something stopping us being together for three novels in a row.' With Cordelia and James, that was fraught and interesting---loads of twists and turns with the false marriage and Grace and all. It was also time-period relevant. With Tessa and Will and Jem, you came up with one of the more brilliant conclusions to a love triangle I've ever seen. The circumstances to Will's curse was darkly laughable and tongue-in-cheek creative. Clary and Jace---hated it. Categorically hated the incest bait and I knew they weren't actually related a long while before you probably wanted your audience to. Emma and Julian's star-crossed thing was almost as bad as Jace and Clary's deal.

The 'parabatai curse' felt forced and contrived. I don't recall any mention of this all-important plot device in previous novels and the explanation seemed vague and weak. The way it was resolved was an afterthought.

Also wasn't that big of a fan of Julian. He was neurotic and moody to the point where he made Jace Herondale look stable. Emma was wonderful, though.

There really is more to build a relationship other than to make it impossibly star-crossed, I promise. You seemed to realise that with Alec and Magnus and many of the other 'non-main' couples.

Speaking of which, I love, love, love that you Cristina, Kieran, and Mark to be your polyamory triad. It was a brilliant representation, but it took a frustratingly long time to get there. Even in the end, you teased us with, 'Oh but they were torn apart, never to be together aga-- JUST KIDDING.' CASSANDRA, PLEASE, I HAVE ANXIETY. But I loved their dynamics and Cristina is a *great* character. Perhaps it was my fault, being as I had such a big time gap in between reading Lord of Shadows and Queen of Air and Darkness, but I'd completely forgotten her plot with her family heirloom/Diego/Jaime. It wouldn't have hurt restating it to remind the audience, but that's also probably on me.

I wasn't quite sure how I felt about the journey to Thule at first. It was risky. On top of 'Make Idris Great Again', Star-Crossed Part 4, and Necromancy Gone Awry, I was sceptical as to whether you'd pull off a multiverse plot in the middle of the last book, but it actually worked surprisingly well.

One of the better aspects about this book is that it takes place a few years after Mortal Instruments and the Cold Peace. It shows how everyone, particularly the Blackthorns, were affected by post-war bigotry. The fact that this was written in 2018 was no surprise, as Horace Dearborn, Zara Dearborn, and Manuel Villalobos were absolute MAGA stand-ins, but I love how it translated into the magical world. And of course, seeing where Clary/Jace/Alec/Simon/Isabelle/everyone ended up was satisfying for any fan of the original series.

Wonderful with the queer representation. I believe this is the first series where you've done a transgender individual and I liked how Shadowhunter culture played into it. There were at least three queer couples on centre-stage in the entire book without it feeling exploitative, so bravo there.

I will say, the autistic representation with Ty seemed sort of heavy-handed. Just about every mention of him mentioned stimming or aversions to change and such. But as an autistic individual, I have no actual *problem* with it, as there are people like that and I've known many.

The introduction of Ash was mind-blowing and welcomed, I'd say. I can't wait to see how that character plays out. It feels sacrilegious but I almost sort of missed Sebastian.

I will say, throughout the series, Annabel Blackthorn starts out as an extremely intriguing story but it ends up nearly... written out? Like geez, have one bad breakdown and murder a couple people and suddenly, your character depth goes away. It started out strong with Malcolm's grief twisting his ambition and Annabel having understandable PTSD, but something was lost, there.

So, quite long and not without its issues, but absolutely worth the read. Especially if you're wanting some warm fuzzies about your favourite Shadowhunterverse couples.

-Xanthe

#xanthe #book reviews #queen of air and darkness #shadowhunters #queer representation #polyamory representation #polyamory positivity #spoilers #shadowhunterverse #shadowhunterverse spoilers #book review #star-crossed #autistic representation #transgender representation #cassandra clare #dark artifices #fiction

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thewingedwolf · 2 years

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I’m gonna attempt to watch through all of Buffy bc tbh I don’t…remember a lot of it. So much of it is also filtered through my 12 year old mind and that was just a mess of hormones and repressed sexuality so it’s not reliable at ALL (I mean who knows I might give up at one point like I did with Glee lol).

Anyway Im halfway through s2 and my opinions are

Sarah Michelle Gellar really holds the script all together ya kno. She’s just absolutely pitch perfect right off the bat

Especially obvious bc I forgot how bad the acting is in the first two seasons, it’s just SMG and Anthony Stewart Head giving the performances of their lives and everyone else is giving their best High Schooler Attempting And Failing To Deliver A Hamlet Soliloquy

I think it’s funny that Willow almost right away seems to see morality as much greyer than any of the Scooby Gang. She tends to see the good in bad people because she wants to believe in the power of redemption. It’s interesting when you think about it in terms of her story as the series goes on.

Why does the show try to convince us that Willow and Xander have chemistry. There is Nothing there

I adore Joyce. I can already tell the reason her death made me hysterical as a tween is because she’s not just a compelling character (and not to ever give That Bitch any props, but a mom being ALIVE can be so hard to come by in SFF and I’ve complained about it before), but sometimes she reminds me of the women in my family, and U Kno I Love Projecting

That theme really does go so hard tho

Giles puts up a good fight but like 3 episodes in he is so EAGER and READY to play the father to Buffy, Xander, and Willow and loudly complain about how they don’t treat their father with respect lol

Dru/Spike is just as appealing to me now as it was to me as a tween, I just love Villain Who Is Devoted To His Wife dynamics, and Dru is so weird and SO FUN

The kid who plays the Anointed One is so boring, I’m sorry little kid but show an emotion bro

Honestly, while I think s1 is a bit uneven, the show picks up Immediately when Spike and Dru show up. They bring such a fun, uniquely stylized villainy to the show, and I think that’s when it really starts to cement its own flair of urban fantasy, and even tho I want to fight Joss Whedon with my bare hands, I GET why this flavor of urban fantasy completely took over the genre

I love the way Xander dresses because I dressed exactly like that in middle school and I’m very embarrassed to realize that my friends were right I was SUCH a frumpy dresser

I loved Bangel as a kid but I also LOVED Cordelia/Angel (like I was DEVASTATED when she died I loved her so much) and seeing Cordelia and Angel hit it off IMMEDIATELY even when he’s dating Buffy made me giggle lol Angel really does find her very charming

Okay but imagine you are Giles and you finally have your life on track as a Watcher and you’ve gotten used to suddenly being a dad to 4 children and a vampire, and you don’t even LIKE half your new children but it’s fine, you’ve got it under control, the principal likes you, you’re making friends, and then your evil ex boyfriend shows up Lichrally just so he can get off on you beating the shit out of him like how angry would you be??! The life of a DILF is so hard

I am just now realizing I had a huge crush on Drusilla when I was a kid and it’s in character bc Zhaan in Farscape was my bi awakening but why did I have such weird taste in women as a teenager bro

(Also omg I think I was in love with Cordelia??? Ajsjdjd I repressed so many crushes on girls as a kid holy shit)

#JusticeForJennyCalendar she was so cool and she dressed so cool and watching Giles trip over his feet around her was so damn cute

I love the Spike/Dru/Darla/Angel fucked up family dynamic, it was my FAVORITE in the show

Feels like the show is hell bent on making Buffy pay and make amends for not having a crush on Xander and it is so annoying. Like every time she shows An Interest in Angel or another guy, Xander gets to be there Suffering Loudly, and Buffy once again has to make space for his continued forcing of the responsibility of his feelings onto her. Why is this her problem?

So I know we canceled Angel in the first few seasons for dating a high schooler when hes 300 or whatever, but Angel is just SO emotionally repressed post-getting-his-soul-and-breaking-up-with-Darla that I don’t think he’s mature enough for older friends, he’s just so whiny in a specifically teenagery way

But also doesn’t he ever get tired of a bunch of high schoolers constantly trying to be his best friend after awhile??

This is not me saying I hate Angel, I love that emotionally repressed, painfully awkward broody bitch he’s my man in all his awkwardly Byronic glory

I loved Xander/Cordelia, they are so funny together

I just love Kendra so much, I wish we’d had her for longer

I think I might get way farther in this rewatch than I expected because I’m actually really enjoying myself. We’ll see how long my attention span lasts

#rani liveblogs buffy #btvs #Rani's liveblogging tag #um #anti xander harris #ish?#buffyverse

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melanielocke · 3 years

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Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 18

AO3

Taglist: @nott-the-best @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised

Previous Chapter: Chapter 17

Next Chapter: Chapter 19

Thomas had always enjoyed swimming. He used to be a competitive swimmer in school, and still considered going back to it at university. He was fast and he guessed he’d need to slow down for Alastair, who was not a frequent swimmer at all. While Alastair was fast and nimble on the land, his swimming skills appeared only enough to not drown. Which arguably was the most important when it came to swimming, but Thomas had to be careful, he didn’t want to exhaust Alastair or leave him behind.

‘I don’t usually like swimming all that much,’ Alastair admitted.

‘Really? Then why did you come?’ Thomas asked.

A wicked gleam appeared in Alastair’s dark eyes and he smiled. ‘For the scenery, of course.’

Thomas guessed it was the first time they’d seen each other wearing only swim shorts, although he had seen some of Alastair’s chest after Tessa had bandaged his shoulder. The wound looked closed now, but Thomas knew it was still sensitive.

While Alastair was skinny, he was also lightly toned. Not muscular like Thomas was, but elegant and graceful. He was beautiful. He remembered Alastair telling him he’d gained weight lately because of his new medication, but if this was his body after gaining weight, just how skinny had he been before?

And although Alastair tried to act casual, Thomas caught him staring at him too. Truth to be told, he was a little insecure about his body, and what Alastair would think of it. Thomas knew he was muscular, since he worked out so much, which he knew was considered desirable, but he often felt he was a bit too tall. Not to mention he hated the stretch marks that had appeared on his back, and worried what Alastair would think of those. His mother had freaked out the first time she’d seen them until she’d realized they were stretch marks. They were a faded pink now, although they used to be a bright red like wounds. Hopefully in time they’d fade to white. Of course, after three pregnancies, his mother had them too but everyone seemed to associate stretch marks with pregnancy when it was also completely normal to get them after gaining weight or growing very fast. Thomas sometimes wished he’d known that sooner.

‘My parents would often take me and my sisters swimming when I recovered from one of my fevers,’ Thomas said.

‘In the winter as well?’ Alastair asked. ‘Isn’t that cold?’

‘At the indoor pool,’ Thomas clarified. ‘I always had lots of fun there. There were water slides, a wave simulator bath, tropical plants to create a nice atmosphere. There was this one water slide that was in the dark and Barbara was scared of it so she always claimed I was too small for the water slide and wasn’t allowed to take it either.

Often when I was sick, it was something I looked forward to because I knew I could go to the pool when I got better. When I was older and no longer sick, I started swimming competitively. Didn’t you go swimming as a child?’

‘Not often,’ Alastair said. ‘Cordelia would go with Lucie and her parents sometimes.’

‘I remember getting these invites to classmates’ birthday parties. It’s a surprise what we’re doing, but bring your swimsuit,’ Thomas said. ‘Of course, I could only go when I was well enough, but it was a very common activity at my school.’

‘I was that child who never got invited. Which was fine, I didn’t really like being around other children anyway. My mother couldn’t swim, and my father didn’t really go have fun with us. I did take swimming lessons, passed my exams, but beyond that I didn’t really go swimming. My mother started taking classes not so long ago, though, so she’s learnt the basics. She found a class for adult women and even made some friends there.’

‘Maybe you should give it a chance,’ Thomas said. ‘Unfortunately, the pool I went to as a child closed. They built a mall there, I think. but I’m sure there are other pools I could take you someday.’

‘It’s not so bad,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Maybe if we survive this summer, I’ll take you up on that offer.’

Thomas felt himself become a little warm inside, despite the cold water. Here, spending time together in the lake and in the woods was nice, but Thomas wanted to show Alastair all his favorite places, go to the museum together, go swimming like he used to do. He wanted to introduce Alastair to his sisters, who would undoubtedly like him very much. He hoped they wouldn’t be too protective of him though, Thomas did not think Alastair would react well if Genie started threatening him. He made a mental note to send a warning to his sisters that there would be no threatening Alastair.

‘Do you play any sports?’ Thomas asked.

‘Currently not much beyond generally trying to stay active and taking very long walks,’ Alastair admitted. ‘Cordelia and I used to take dance classes together for several years, Father thought it important we learnt how to dance ballroom. The memory is a bit tainted because it was something he demanded of us, but truth to be told I did like dancing and I was quite good at it. We both were.’

‘Oh, that sounds nice,’ Thomas said. ‘I’ve always thought it would be nice to learn partner dancing, but I never got around to it. Besides, I’m a bit clumsy on my feet so I’d be stepping on my partner’s toes all the time.’

‘That doesn’t happen as often as people think,’ Alastair said. ‘I think there’s a dancing association at the university, so if you want to learn that might be a nice and affordable place to take classes. But you could also join a swimming team there if you’d prefer. Or both, but you’ll need to find time to study too.’

‘Is that something you struggled with?’ Thomas asked.

‘Not really. I had no social life beyond my ex boyfriend and I don’t need much time to study. Magic memory and all. But there were definitely a few students who were partying too much to keep up.’

‘I’m not really one for partying, so that won’t be a problem,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I didn’t realize there were so many options, all I heard about student life was either lots of partying or study until you drop.’

‘Oh no there are definitely options,’ Alastair said. ‘I’m just too antisocial for most of them. I don’t like being around people anyway. One on one is fine, but I’ve never liked groups. And I absolutely despite it when people are loud. What else do you like to do beside swimming?’

Thomas could recognize what Alastair described. He had always been shy as a child, and had never really grown over that. He liked being around people, but mostly in small groups.

‘I like music,’ Thomas said. ‘I play guitar, but I really like writing my own songs.’

He’d never told anyone that. He wasn’t sure why exactly. He’d started playing the guitar after growing over his sickness. He’d tried the saxophone before that when he was younger, but his frequent fevers made it difficult to keep up. To learn an instrument you had to practice daily, and that hadn’t worked out.

He’d started playing guitar at fourteen and he’d written lots of songs, most of which he’d discarded. He never believed they were any good, and he wasn’t very good at singing. He’d practiced, of course, and he knew how to pitch his voice, but he just didn’t sound that good or interesting. He could be a decent back up vocalist, he guessed, but then he’d need to find someone to actually sing his songs.

‘Really?’ Alastair asked. ‘What kind of songs?’

‘Oh, all sorts. Ballads, sad songs mostly, I guess. Love songs too. I’ve never told anyone before. They’re not good or anything.’

He remembered he’d written a very sappy, hopeless pining song not long after meeting Alastair. He was glad there was no remaining evidence of that ever happening, it was exactly the kind of thing Eugenia would use as blackmail. Which he guessed was why he’d never told Eugenia about his songs.

They reached the island in the middle of the lake, and sat down in the shallow water, a comfortable place to rest for a bit and talk. He could tell Alastair was getting tired, swimming was very different from walking or running and Alastair wasn’t used to it. Perhaps it was hard on his shoulder too.

‘You told no one? Really? Why?’ Alastair asked.

‘As I said, they’re not any good,’ Thomas admitted. ‘And I can’t sing well.’

‘Maybe I could sing them for you,’ Alastair said. ‘Although it’s been a while since I’ve really sung.’

‘You sing?’ Thomas asked. He wondered what Alastair’s voice would sound like when he sung.

‘I used to,’ Alastair said. ‘I played the piano too, growing up, but I haven’t played in years.’

‘Why did you stop?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair sighed. ‘I couldn’t find joy in playing music anymore. In anything really. Although I did listen to music a lot, and I do sing along occasionally. But apart from that… I just couldn’t bring myself to play anymore, it hurt too much. I wanted to get back to it, but so far I haven’t found that joy.’

That sounded sad. Would Thomas’ songs be able to cheer him up? Probably not, they were terrible. He would need some good music to play or sing to get back into it, not his hopeless attempts at song writing.

‘I hope you can,’ Thomas said. ‘I can’t imagine what it’s like to not be able to enjoy the things you used to.’

‘Well, sometimes interests change,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ve had a lot of odd interests that changed. But in this case… I want to be able to feel the joy I once felt. I want to play, and sing your songs and feel like myself again.’

Thomas wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with sharing any of his work, but if it would help Alastair then he would let him sing all of his songs.

‘Could you sing something? Now, I mean. If you want to, you don’t have to. I’m just really curious what you sound like.’

Thomas started rambling again, and Alastair silenced him by beginning to sing. The song would definitely sound better with accompanied by a guitar, but even on its own Alastair’s voice was beautiful. It was a bit lower than his speaking voice, but he seemed to have quite a range. Gentle, but firm and when he got farther into the song Thomas realized there was a lot of power behind Alastair’s voice. It was a romantic song he was singing, did this describe how Alastair felt about him? He didn’t catch everything, but some of the lyrics stuck with him.

Never opened myself this way.

Life is ours, we live it our way.

All these words I don’t just say

And nothing else matters

‘Trust I seek, and I find in you,’ Thomas repeated. ‘That sounds beautiful.’

Alastair smiled. ‘I do find trust in you. Even if it is something I still find difficult. I’m trying.’

‘What song is that?’ Thomas asked.

Alastair stared at him in shock. ‘You mean to tell me you don’t know this song? You can’t be serious.’

‘It sounds vaguely familiar, but I can’t name it,’ Thomas said. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s Nothing else Matters by Metallica,’ Alastair said.

‘That does sounds familiar,’ Thomas admitted. ‘I’ve never listened much to Metallica.’

‘You should, their music is very good, and it’s very melodic for a metal band. That’s what I like the most, when music is both heavy and melodic.’

‘What other music do you like?’ Thomas asked.

‘Breaking Benjamin must be one of my favorite bands. You probably haven’t heard of them, they’re not very famous. They’re probably best described as alternative metal. Very angst heavy lyrics, things I can relate to. And I like Metallica, Skillet, Three Days Grace. Within Temptation and Nightwish occasionally. What do you listen to?’

‘I like Green Day,’ Thomas said. ‘And As It Is, which you might not know because they’re not very well known, but they’re a pop punk band.’

‘I don’t know As it Is. I do know Green Day though. I’ve always liked Boulevard of Broken Dreams.’

‘Me too,’ Thomas said. ‘But 21 guns is my favorite from Green Day.’

They talked some more about music, and Thomas made a note to listen to some of Alastair’s favorite songs when they got back. He hadn’t had the time or inspiration to write songs lately, with everything happening, but he wanted to write something for Alastair. If he ever found the time in between trying not to die.

Truth to be told, Thomas found it difficult to have people worry about him so much, risk themselves for his sake. He didn’t want to die and was grateful he had people who were willing to help him, but he hated how all this was because of him. He hated being taken care of, being someone’s burden. It was something Thomas had always struggled with. When his mother had quit her job because Thomas was sick so often it wasn’t doable for both his parents to work. Since his mother was a primary school teacher, it had made sense for her to quit working as his father made more money and worked more hours. When his sisters would come straight home after school to keep him company rather than spend time with their own friends. When his father would come home early as often as he could, passing on opportunities at work.

It wasn’t just that the amount of attention could be suffocating, it was because he didn’t want to be difficult, he didn’t want other people to change their life, their habits for him. But as a sick child, he’d had no choice but to let people take care of him. Everyone had had to adapt to his sickness and even in a loving family such as his own, it wasn’t easy to have a child who was ill so often. Sometimes Thomas feared he’d taken up too much attention and had taken that away from Barbara and Eugenia.

‘You’re thinking of something,’ Alastair said. ‘Something that is bothering you.’

‘It’s nothing,’ Thomas said.

It wouldn’t be fair to complain about his childhood to Alastair. Compared to what he had been through, Thomas had wanted for nothing.

‘It’s not nothing,’ Alastair said. ‘I can tell when you tense up, when you’re thinking of something hurtful. Is it something I did?’

‘No. You didn’t do anything wrong.’ Thomas brushed his hand across Alastair’s cheek. ‘You’re perfect.’

‘Then what is it?’ Alastair looked away. ‘Look, I know how difficult it is to talk about how you feel, how vulnerable it makes you feel. But I can tell when things are bothering you, I know when people are upset. If you don’t want to share, at least tell me you’d rather not talk about it. Because people always like to pretend they’re fine but they’re not and…’

Alastair didn’t finish his sentence, he seemed upset too now. Thomas felt horrible. He didn’t want Alastair to worry, he didn’t want to hurt him. It made sense Alastair could read people well. Thomas had always been good at reading people’s body language, but Alastair had had to deal with his father’s changing moods, anticipating them had to be how he’d survived. Of course people’s bad moods were stressful for him, because Alastair had learnt he’d get hurt when other people were stressed.

Perhaps it was better to tell, that might set Alastair’s mind at ease. Even if it was difficult, even if he did not quite understand why he felt this way.

‘I was thinking about how you’re all risking your life for me, and I find that difficult. I’ve never wanted to trouble others, I’ve never wanted to be a burden. But I also know I cannot do this without help. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you or to Cordelia or Lucie because of me.’

Alastair put his hand on Thomas’ cheek, wet from the lake water.

‘I understand. But none of this is your fault, Tom, and you’re not a burden.’

‘I’ve always felt like a burden,’ Thomas said softly. ‘I always needed to be taken care of because I was sick.’

‘Is it a burden when the people caring for you love you and gladly care for you?’ Alastair asked.

‘I don’t know,’ Thomas said. ‘With James and Matthew, I was so glad to find friends, people my own age. But James’ mother and Matthew’s mother are my mother’s best friends, so we already knew each other from a young age. We were very close when I was still a child and they would come by to keep me company when I was sick. I am grateful, but they learnt I needed to be protected and when I grew over my sickness, Matthew still believed I was meek and dependent and needed to be rescued from you. James wasn’t as bad, he never noticed I liked you because he was always reading. I think the reason we drifted apart a bit is because of that. I never dared tell them how I felt about you, and I don’t think they would have reacted well. And again, I feared my feelings would make me a burden. That was less of an issue with Lucie, so I think that’s why I’m now closer to her. It was never a problem to tell her I liked you, and that’s why she was the first person I told.’

‘I didn’t realize you’d drifted apart from them. At school, it was always the three of you,’ Alastair said.

‘True, and I still care about them, I really do. But I think they’re closer to each other than to me, and that made me feel out of place at times. I still see them and spend time with them, and we text often, but not as much as we used to. But that’s fine, I think it was for the best. I still have plenty of people around me, enough friends, and we probably work better with a little more distance anyway.’

‘I didn’t realize, that’s all,’ Alastair said. ‘Sometimes change is for the best. How are James and Matthew anyway?’

‘I haven’t contacted them a lot with everything happening, and the last few days I haven’t been able to reach them. But I’m not yet sure what to say when I do call them. Do I tell them about us? Or about what’s going on? Do I tell my sisters? I do not want anyone else to come here and put themselves in danger.’

‘I have not yet decided what I will tell my mother either,’ Alastair said. ‘I did tell her I liked you, before I realized you liked me as well. But the past few days I haven’t been able to reach her, or Risa. Wait a moment, you said you couldn’t reach James and Matthew.’

‘Nor my sisters,’ Thomas said. ‘And my father said he was unable to reach uncle Gabriel. I don’t think uncle Will has had any success calling uncle Jem or your father either. Which is odd. You’d think out of all these people, at least someone would pick up a phone.’

‘Or perhaps that is part of what Tatiana is doing,’ Alastair said. ‘Isolating us so we cannot call anyone for help.’

Thomas tried to think that through. If he were in Tatiana’s shoes, he definitely wouldn’t want them to be able to contact uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily. Nor uncle Jem, he guessed. Matthew and James were no threat to her, nor were his sisters, so he wasn’t sure why they were unable to contact them. Nor did he suspect Alastair’s mother was a threat. Perhaps it was simply easier to cut them off from everyone.

‘That makes sense,’ Thomas said. ‘But if we can’t call them, how far away from the town and the forest would we have to be if we were to reach people again?’ Thomas wasn’t so sure it would be that simple though.

‘I’m not sure,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps it’s like the land in between, except bigger. Perhaps something Tatiana did will not only cut off our ability to contact people who aren’t here, but will also prevent us from leaving.’ He paused. ‘I assumed there would be no point in leaving, because whatever is happening to you would simply follow you wherever you go. But perhaps Tatiana does need you here.’

Thomas wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He hadn’t considered running, didn’t think there would be a point to it. How could you run from a powerful being? But perhaps Alastair had a point and he was running from Tatiana. Perhaps that powerful being would simply take Jesse back if Tatiana failed, and that would be it. The thought brought no comfort. He would never want Jesse to suffer. None of this was his fault either.

‘It makes me wonder why that being picked Jesse over me,’ Thomas said. ‘It must have liked Tatiana a lot better than my parents, and I think when Jesse died Tatiana already knew what was happening. I think she assumed I would be the one to die, and when Jesse died and I didn’t, she got mad with my father.

But wouldn’t it have made more sense to take me instead of Jesse? Since Tatiana knew more about the deal, knew about the creature, knew how to barter with it?’

Alastair grimaced. ‘No. I think that is exactly why it chose Jesse. I don’t think the thief of souls intended to keep Jesse forever. If it had taken you, your parents would have been heart broken, they would grieve you, they would have sustained a wound that would never heal. But they would not have tried to get you back, not at the cost of someone else’s life.

Tatiana, on the other hand, would do anything for her son, and seems to hate everyone else. It doesn’t matter to her that lots of people will die, souls forfeit, as long as she can have her son back. She knew what was going on, what would happen to her son. Perhaps she tried to appease it, to make sure you would be chosen and not Jesse. But that’s exactly why it chose Jesse. Because with Jesse dead, Tatiana would do anything to bring him back, and she would exchange your life for Jesse. And the thief of souls could have asked her for anything it wanted, anything else she would realistically be able to give her.’

Thomas stared at Alastair. Everything he said made perfect sense. He had been looking at this from the wrong angle, from his own perspective of someone who made decisions based on emotion, based on his love for the people around him. But the thief of souls wasn’t like that, he didn’t care for Tatiana just because she liked him better than his father did. He saw her as a tool he could use. He played a strategic game and souls were the prize.

‘Why now, though?’ Thomas asked. ‘Jesse has been dead for years. If Tatiana already knew what was happening, wouldn’t she have gotten him back sooner?’

‘I think the thief of souls must have demanded much from her,’ Alastair said. ‘He could ask for anything. Do any of you know what she’s been up to the past years?’

‘She moved away from London, left her house in a state of disrepair,’ Thomas said. ‘My grandfather was incredibly rich and Tatiana inherited lots of money, so she could afford to just move around and leave her father’s house.’

Thomas knew his father and uncle Gabriel had often wondered what to do with the money inherited from their father, money he’d earned through dark deals and exploitation. Money none of them deserved. But for uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily the money had allowed them to hunt the supernatural, stop people like Benedict, since such line of work wasn’t exactly paid. His father had donated some of the money, but for them it had been convenient too since his illness meant he always needed someone around to take care of him.

‘Meaning, you don’t know where she’s been?’ Alastair asked. ‘I can’t imagine having so much money that you can just leave an entire house for several years without selling it. Honestly that should be illegal, considering how difficult it is for some people to even find a place to live.’

‘It was her father’s manor, had been in the family for a long time,’ Thomas said. ‘I don’t think she could have even considered selling it, it was very important to Benedict. But no, we don’t know where she’s been. My father and uncle Gabriel did try to reach out to her occasionally. At the very least they called her on her birthday, but she never picked up.’

‘So these past years, maybe she had to complete other tasks first, offer him other souls, anything he could have wanted. And at some point she must have captured Grace, which I imagine made completing his requests a lot easier.’

‘How long do you think Grace has been her prisoner?’ Thomas wondered. ‘I assumed it was a recent thing, what if she’s been with Tatiana for years?’

‘No idea,’ Alastair said. ‘Perhaps capturing Grace is what finally allowed her to win enough favor to get back Jesse’s soul. Whatever he wanted from her, it must have been easier with a siren under her control. But I think there’s still more she must do to bring him back to life. Perhaps that child that drowned was part of it too.’

‘And when Jesse lives, I die,’ Thomas concluded.

Thomas had no idea how to fix this. How to survive without sacrificing Jesse. He knew Lucie and Cordelia wanted to kill the thief of souls, but they didn’t even know what it was. Their attention had to be on Grace right now, if anyone knew more of Tatiana’s plans it had to be her.

‘We’ll get Grace’ skin,’ Alastair promised. ‘Tomorrow. And when she is free, she can tell us all she knows of Tatiana. There must be so much Grace knows.’

‘Will you be alright?’ Thomas said. ‘After this morning… will you feel up to it? I can’t imagine how exhausting that must have been. It’s fine if you need more rest.’

‘I hope so, but if not I can function pretty well while tired. At some point you get used to it. I have good days and bad days. Today was not so good, you’re right that I’m still very tired from this morning. Such breakdowns are always exhausting, that is not something I’ve gotten used to. I would go to sleep early, maybe take some melatonin, but I’ll only have nightmares. And we don’t have the kind of time to wait for me to recover from this morning, I’ll have to do with how I function tomorrow morning.’

Thomas considered for a moment, turning a little red before looking Alastair in the eyes. Thomas had always found Alastair’s eyes beautiful, big and so dark it was difficult to tell apart the iris and the pupil. He’d never quite understood the way people obsessed over blue or green eyes, described as sapphires and emeralds in many of Lucie’s books. Green and blue eyes didn’t even look like that. Light eyes might be less common than brown eyes, but Thomas had always found dark brown eyes combined with dark hair like Alastair’s far more striking.

‘Maybe I could sleep over,’ Thomas suggested. ‘I mean, do you think that would help?’

‘I don’t know if it would help with my nightmares, but I would certainly like it if you stayed with me,’ Alastair said. ‘I like to cuddle. It is very nice when you hold me, sensory wise. So, where are we sleeping? I think my bed is bigger, we could easily both fit in there.’

Thomas wondered what Alastair meant with that it was nice, sensory wise. It sounded like something Lucie, who was autistic, might say, but Alastair had not mentioned such a thing, had he?

‘Alright, then I’ll sleep over at your place,’ Thomas said. ‘And I’ll cuddle with you as much as you want. And when you have a nightmare, I’ll be there to remind you that you’re safe.’

#Thomas Lightwood #Alastair Carstairs #Lucie Herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #Thomastair #Lucelia #fanfiction #the last hours #tlh

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

Text

I dont know whats real anymore (Delia x reader)

warnings: talking about death

You have to take these pills, Y / N .." Cordelia said firmly, holding out the two pills.

She watched the tears well up in your eyes and how you moved as far away from her as you could on the bed. You sat frightened in the corner of the bed, knees wrapped around your chest and your arms around your shoulders.

"Please Cordelia .. I can't .." you whispered.

"Honey, you're sick ... and if you don't take these pills you won't get well ...", her voice softened.

"The doctors said that too .." you whimpered softly and pushed me further into the corner.

The doctors? Cordelia frowned. Four days ago you showed up at the academy in the middle of the night. Your clothes soaked from the rain and tears made their way on your face. You didn't need to be a doctor to predict your cold in advance.

You haven't said much about yourself since you've been here. She knew your name and that you ran away from home. What she also knew was why you had come to the academy; you could talk to the dead and because you could no longer help yourself, you came to her.

"I don't know which doctors you're talking about .." Cordelia began and sat down on the bed. "These two pills only ensure that your fever is lowered and you can sleep ... nothing more .."

"I don't believe you .." you whispered, your eyes glittering. She got up, grabbed the wrapping of the pills, and tossed them into your lap before she sat down again.

"Please .. subsided on your own .." she said and bit her lip.

With trembling hands you examined the packaging and found that Cordelia was right. Without a word, you held out your hand to her and she let the two pills fall into the palm of your hand. She watched with satisfaction as you washed the pills down with a glass of water.

"Thanks Y / N..I just want to help you ..", she said and got up. "You should sleep now and let me know when you wake up .."

As she started to leave, your hand grabbed her wrist. She spun around and looked into your pleading eyes.

"Please don't go .." you whispered. "If you go, they talk to me .."

By they you meant the dead in this house.

Cordelia squeezed your hand gently and gave you a warm smile before she sat in the chair in the other corner of the room. You turned away from her because you were uncomfortable sleeping in front of her, but even with your body against the wall you could feel her gaze on your back and although it made you feel uncomfortable, it was still better than to be yelled by the ghosts of this house. Even now they were standing in this room and whispering things to you. Bad things. But it was much easier to ignore the dead in the presence of someone who couldn't hear them.

Cordelia sat cross-legged in the chair, her head in her hands, and watched your breathing slow down and become a steady rhythm.

After a few minutes, when she assumed you were asleep, she got up and let out a sigh. You had been here for just four days and she could safely say that no one had been this complicated in a long time. The problem was, that she couldn't figure you out and she didn't want to talk to you until you were really healthy.

-----------------------------

Weeks passed. You got well and started moving around the academy and taking classes. Everyone was nice to you, but you knew that most of them just found you weird for talking to people, that they couldn't see. It was not uncommon to see you arguing with someone who didn't exist to them and of course the other witches thought it was strange. Cordelia had tried to talk to you several times, but you always avoided her and she couldn't explain why.

It was Saturday afternoon and most of the girls weren't home. Cordelia was walking down the corridors of the academy as she often did when she heard your screams.

"Leave me alone .." you screamed.

Alarmed, Cordelia ran to your room and threw the door open.

You stood in the middle of the room with both hands wrapped around a knife and held it trembling in front of you.

"Y / N ..", Cordelia began slowly and entered the room. "Take the knife down .."

"I dont know what's real anymore ..", you sobbed and held the knife to your throat.

"Please Y / N." Cordelia's voice was low as she kept walking towards you. "Look at me, I'm real .." She wanted to grab your hand, but you back away.

"They're yelling at me, Cordelia ... they want me to kill .."

"Who should you kill Y / N?", She was almost in front of you.

"You!" You screamed.

Cordelia stopped. She was confused. "Me?" You nodded. "Yes ... all the others too.. I'm scared ... "

She was standing in front of you and had her hands around your wrists as she led your hand with the knife away from your neck. "I'm so sorry .." you uttered and started to cry. Cordelia, who had taken the knife from your hand, tossed the blade away and wrapped her arms around you.

"You don't have to apologize honey .." she whispered against your ear "Everything will be fine..". Her left hand wandered through your hair while her right pressed you against her.

"I just want to be normal .." you sobbed into her chest.

The next 5 minutes remained like this, you cried yourself in her arms while she whispered the sweet things in your ear.

When your crying subsided, she pulled back to study your face.

"I think we should finally talk .." she said softly and sat down on your bed.

You nodded slowly and sat down next to her. "So .. what brought you here?"

"Uhm .. I think it all started when my grandma died .." you started playing nervously with your fingers. "My parents told me, she was dead, but she was right behind them. At first I thought it was supposed to be funny, but then I realized that they were serious ... well and when I told them I could still see her and then talked to her, my parents took me to a doctor. But the doctor just said it was my own way of dealing with her death. It was weird to be at her funeral, even though she was still alive to me .. "you laughed nervously.

"One night two complete strangers were standing in my room, claiming to be the deceased owner of our house, then I realized that something was wrong. It got worse because there were more and more dead people talking to me and it became difficult to distinguish who was really alive and who was dead. At some point I could no longer hide it from my parents and they took me again to a doctor, who diagnosed me with schizophrenia. From then on my life became pure hell. I forgot how many nights I had to spend in clinics, but I remember every moment when doctors chained me to the bed and forcibly injected medicine into me. Then I was only allowed to leave the house under supervision and all objects were removed from my room, that I could hurt myself with. It was all bad, but worst of all were my parents. They no longer saw me, their daughter, they just saw this disease and the monster doctors made me ... and I tried so hard to improve, but it was impossible to ignore them, the dead ... and then one day I found this academy at Internet and somehow I felt like it was the only place, where I wouldn't be considered sick .."

When you were done you carefully looked up at Cordelia. She was lost in thought and was staring intently into your eyes, as if this enabled her to look into your head.

"Cordelia, I-" you started, but she cut you off.

"What do they say to you, the dead?"

"Um different things .. most of them want me to kill somebody .. they want their revenge. It's like I'm their bridge from the dead to the world of the living .. They yell at me and promise to leave me alone if I kill for them ... Then there is something else, when I was locked in my room after I was released from the clinic, sometimes they told me death was my salvation and how free I would be if I were one of them..Sometimes I am myself not sure if they told me that or if I did .. "you said. She didn't answer and just kept staring into your eyes.

After a while she cleared her throat and sat up straight. "I want to be honest with you..I can't make it stop or make them leave you alone..but I can teach you how to ignore them and how to gain control over them .."

You nodded quickly. "There's just one more thing .." you started. "It is incredibly difficult to sleep when dead people scream at you with their plans for revenge ...". You smiled at her crookedly.

"How long haven't you slept?" She frowned. Only now did she notice your dark circles.

"Couple of days .." you mumbled. "Since I stopped taking sleeping pills, I wanted to ask if I-"

"No Y / N." She said firmly. "I'll see what I can do, maybe there is some spell that can help and until then come to me if you can't sleep .."

When she got up from your bed, you got up too.

"Thanks Cordelia .." you said and meant it.

"I haven't done anything yet. I'm just sorry, that we didn't talk to each other earlier ...", she said and bent down to reach for your knife. "And as long as the situation doesn't improve, such items have no business in your room, understand?" She asked sharply.

You nodded quickly.

"Good ..", she smiled again. "I'll go now and see what I can do to help you .."

----------------------------------

Again some time passed, Cordelia began to teach you privately because you couldn't get along with most of the other girls and you didn't feel like telling the others about your past. For that you got very close to Cordelia and started to trust her completely. Your ghost problem was also progressing, it got easier to ignore the dead. Because you had not left the academy since your arrival, you now knew which of the people were still alive here and which were not. In addition, Cordelia had made a list for you at the beginning with all the names of the other witches and at first it really helped you to find your way around who was dead and who wasn't, but now you don't need the list anymore. But the list was still hanging over your bed, simply because you liked the thought of Cordelia did it for you.

As beautiful as it was, there was still a problem: as much as you could ignore it during the day, the way the dead screamed for you, it was all the more difficult at night. Still yelling in your face, they were standing in the corner of your room and staring at you. Even though you stopped talking to them, they still wouldn't leave you alone, because they knew it was robbing you of sleep. Cordelia had said you could come to her if you couldn't sleep, but somehow the thought felt weird and you didn't want to burden her any more.

That's why you looked for another way to find sleep: sleeping pills. It wasn't particularly difficult, you knew where Cordelia kept the pills and it was not uncommon for one of the other witches to take a pill when she couldn't sleep.

You usually got the pills while the others were in class, but you couldn't today, because Cordelia had rescheduled your class until the morning, so you snuck through the academy after everyone went to bed. Only to find that the pills were gone. You let out a frustrated sigh.

"Are you looking for something, Honey?"

Cordelia's warm voice behind you made you whirl around. She stood behind you, only dressed in a dressing gown, her perfectly manicured fingers holding the sleeping pills in her hand.

"Cordelia ..", you mumbled and wanted to come up with some explanation, but she got before you.

"How long have you been taking this?", Her voice was emotionless.

"Few weeks ..." you muttered, looking away from her.

"A few of weeks ??" she uttered aloud.

"I'm sor-" you started, but she interrupted you.

"You always say, that you are sorry .." she hissed and grabbed your hand. "Come with me .. I don't feel like waking up the other girls with my screams ..."

Without a word she pulled you through the corridors of the academy to her room.

"Sit down .." she growled softly after closing the door. She pointed to her bed and you sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Didn't I make it clear that you shouldn't take these pills?" She paced up and down her room.

"yes .." you answered quietly.

"I didn't hear you ..", she stopped and glared at you.

"Shit .. yeah damn .." you yelled at her while your eyes filled with tears.

"Hopefully you are aware, that if you are addicted to these pills now, I will have to take you to a doctor ..", her voice was soft and dangerous. At her words your eyes widened. "No..Delia please don't .." you pleaded.

"Don't call me like that .. It's your own fault ..". Cordelia put her hands on her hips and chewed her lower lip.

"I know .." you said.

"Oh you know? ..Argh Y / N.." She ran through her blonde curls. "It is my top priority to make sure that my girls are okay and that means for you that you follow my rules .."

You nodded guiltily.

She stared down at you. You didn't have to look into her face to be aware of the flames that burned in her eyes.

"Is that your pajamas?" She finally asked.

"What?" You let out confused and lift your head.

"Whether these are your pajamas .." she said impatiently.

"Uhm..yes?"

"Perfect .." she muttered

"I don't quite understand-" you said, still confused, and watched her pull the curtains over the window.

"You sleep here today, you idiot .."

You stared at her in amazement. Were you serious?

"You really don't have to-"

"You think, I would do this for you? ", she laughed. "Do you think it would be nice for me to send you to your room, knowing that you couldn't sleep for the rest of the night? "

You didn't answer and watched her go to the other side of the bed. "In your first week here when you were sick, you wanted me to stay with you until you fell asleep, because then they would leave you alone .." she said, pulling off her coat to reveal a nightgown bring to. You still didn't know what she was getting at.

"And because I don't feel like watching you fall asleep, because I'm also tired, that should work too .." she finished, lifted the covers and climbed into the bed.

You were still sitting lost on the edge of the bed.

"Honey, you shouldn't watch me sleeping, you should sleep yourself, so move your pretty little ass now into my bed ...", she said with closed eyes.

You blushed at her words, but did what she said and lay down next to her under the sheet before she turned off the light.

Now you both lay stiffly next to each other in the dark and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry that I was just so angry ..." Cordelia began, her voice finally back to normal. "It's just ..-", she paused and looked for the right words. "Why didn't you come to me? I thought you trust me .." Her voice was full of regret and disappointment, and when you heard her that way, you couldn't help but feel bad.

"It's not that I don't trust you .." you whispered.

"But?" She asked before sitting up and leaning over you. The blond curls tickled your face.

"You've done so much for me and I'm really grateful for it, but I didn't mean to worry you any more than I already do .. I know I shouldn't say that, but you shouldn't waste your affection on me, Delia .. ". If it had been light, Cordelia would have seen the tears running down your face. Why were you just so emotional?

"God Y / N, you're so stupid .." she sighed, before leaning down and gently pressing her lips to yours.

To say you were surprised would have been an understatement and to say you didn't want it would be a lie.

It just seemed so impossible.

She was like an angel of God with broken wings, but so beautiful. And you were just that little heap of misery that knocked on her door in the pouring rain.

"Was that just something to get me to sleep?" You smiled softly as she pulled back.

"No .." she laughed and pushed your hair back from your face. "Definitely not.."

From then on, things finally got better. You would still hear the pleading cries of the dead, but Cordelia would always be there to ground you.

love of my life google translate

#cordelia goode #cordelia goode x reader #american horror story #sarah paulson x reader #sarah paulson

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llilychen · 3 years

Text

thoughts of chain of iron

my favorite scenes in the book were jordelia’s wedding and the townsend’s party (chapter five and six were so fun to read)

i really liked the beginning the book but i found the middle to be boring, the book picks up speed towards the end.

when i finished chog i hadn’t made up my mind about grace yet but now that i am done with coi i have decided that i don’t care too much about her? i’ve seen people say that they adore her and i don’t understand that sentiment. i could see why people would find her an interesting character though

there were too many descriptions in this book, the weather was mentioned almost every single page and it got old pretty quickly

i feel like nothing happened for the majority of the book? i dont like fight scenes that much but throughout the book there weren’t almost any? i was 400 pages into the book and so far there had only been one very boring fight scene against that demon that was in the factory

why was filomena hyped up so much? i swear cc made such a big deal about filomena and she didn’t even want to reveal her name and i thought she was going to be an important character, but she only was there for like 1.5 scenes and it was so disappointing

alastair was my favorite character in this book, i think that he grew a lot and i loved that he was held accountable for everything he did and i think that is what makes him an enjoyable character (when characters do dumb stuff and don’t face the consequences it is boring)

reading cordelia’s pov was so funny (and frustrating) because it was obvious that james was in love with her and she still made the most far fetched unreasonable excuses to convince herself otherwise

i am really sad that there wasn’t more thomastair in this book and i think it was very noble of alastair to not want thomas to have to choose between his friends and him, i am pretty sure that they will probably be together in by the end of cot unless something horrible happens, which i hope is not the case

i was really disappointing with matthew’s character. that scene in which he showed up to cordelia’s house, spied on alastair and cordelia after their dad died, insulted alastair in front of cordelia, and then just started talking about his own problems rubbed on me the wrong way and i hate how his alcoholism is being handled, but im also glad that he called james out on his bullshit? it obviously wasn’t james’ fault but it was nice to see him stand up for cordelia

i hated the love triangle, when i finished chog i didn’t really care who cordelia ended up with, and now that im done with coi i still don’t care too much about who she ends up with but i think that her ending up with james would make more sense and that is probably what will happen which means that the love triangle was a complete waste of time

i really wish that cordelia and matthew’s relationship had remained completely platonic especially because i don’t think cc has ever put focus on a relationship between a man and a woman that isn’t strictly romantic and it would have been nice to show that men and women can be only friends (and by this i mean that there was never any romantic drama between them, so clary and simon don’t count)

anna and ariadne will probably end up together despite the fact that ariadne deserves so much better than anna

anna’s behavior in this book was immature and it got old pretty quickly, the way ariadne was treated throughout the entirety of their relationship was horrible, and i don’t understand if we were meant to root for them? also the way anna treated ariadne reminded me of some of the things anna said in chog and i just want to say that calling the women you have slept with your conquests and writing their names in a list is gross, and disrespectful towards women. coi made me dislike anna unfortunately

matthew insulting alastair every time cordelia was around got old and rubbed one me the wrong way because matthew is supposedly in love with cordelia and he knows that cordelia adores alastair and the least he could is just shut up?? about alastair?? just for cordelia’s sake

i think effie was the best part of the book

i thought that jesse’s resurrection would be take up more page time because i’m pretty sure that cc hinted that jesse would play a larger role in coi than in chog (and in a way she wasn’t lying)

i think that lucie’s marks will probably be stripped or she will become an iron sister (i don’t see why cc would have included that iron sister comment if it won’t be relevant later)

im really disappointed with lucie and cordelia’s friendship, the barely talked, the had like two scenes together in a 650 page book, they just seem like people who sometimes talk to each other, their friendship is so dry

matthew telling alastair that if he didn’t talk to charles it meant that he was a bad person was manipulative and cruel. alastair, unlike matthew, is trying to become a better person and literally everybody saw it except him. i can’t believe cordelia didn’t say anything to him

the whole misunderstanding thing between james and cordelia is so dumb and i KNOW that it will take like 400/500 pages of cot for them to get together and it will be so annoying

that scene in which james confronted grace was very satisfying

cc needs to quit it with the incest, it’s disgusting and unnecessary, it looks like it will not actually go to that in cot (thank god) and therefore she just put it there because she’s gross

i KNEW jesse would come back to life by the end of the book and im so glad i was right because i am tired necromancy and we don’t have to spend another book talking about it!!

i dont know if this is an unpopular opinion but i hope lucie’s character takes a dark turn? i think she has so much potential and i think that maybe she was starting to become a darker character in coi but i couldn’t really tell because she didn’t have that much page time

i really want more christopher scenes, i know that he’s not exactly a main character but he was barely in the book and that made me sad :/

matthew saying that he would not drink in paris so that cordelia would come with him rubbed on me the wrong way because that’s not how it works, and i hope that cc doesn’t portray alcoholism as something that goes away because you’re in love with someone

i knew jesse and lucie would run away at some point, i just thought that it would be by the end of cot (pretty sure they will be found and then there will be trouble and maybe they’ll escape again or there will be more trouble)

my favorite scene in the entire book was when effie found james tied to the bed and requested a raise

when cordelia comes back there is going to be so much guilt because of lucie being missing and i am not here for it

3/5 stars

#tsc #tlh #coi spoilers #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #chain of iron #coi

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deliasqueen · 3 years

Text

We Do Not Remember Days, We Remember Moments

Summary: To keep an incident from your parents knowledge, per Myrtle’s request, you start writing in a diary the same day the Supreme’s daughter arrives at the Coven.

A/N: So this fic is going to be written differently than most. The grammar isn’t meant to be perfect because I don’t think people write formally in their diary. The point of view might be weird at first, but I wrote it so you can see what y/n has written in a day. :) I intend on making this a series with all of y/n and Cordelia’s adventures, so please let me know what you think.

Entry 1

July 14th, 1999

Dear diary,

I hate this. This is stupid. Unfortunately for me, Myrtle is making me do this because she thinks it will be good for me. She wants me to document my feelings and things that happen to me during the day. Oh, and my thoughts which is obviously why I’m writing all this. I don’t know what I’m doing, but she told me not to erase anything, fill up the entire diary, and if I do this, she won’t tell my parents about what happened.

So here I am writing in a diary about this boring coven.

I had just got done washing the dishes from lunch when a new girl arrived. I didn’t really get a good look at her, but rumors are spreading fast. Apparently, this girl is the supreme’s daughter. I don’t really know how to feel about that considering how Fiona is. Fiona never even mentioned having a kid. The woman is hardly around, and when she is, she’s a royal bitch. The only Supreme I want to see are the clothes from that New York skate shop. Hopefully this girl is nothing like her mother because if she is, we are going to have some problems here.

I went downstairs to get a drink, and I saw the new girl with Myrtle. She was crying pretty hard in Myrtle’s arms, and Fiona was nowhere in sight. Shocker. Hell, if I was her, I would have been jumping with joy because Fiona wasn’t around. My hatred for Fiona aside, I guess I do feel bad for the girl. It isn’t unlike Fiona to just drop her daughter off somewhere, and then probably go get high with some dude in California. I mean I get it though, my parents dropped me off here because they didn’t want to deal with me. My powers were the perfect excuse for them to ship me off somewhere far away from home. I hated them for it, but part of me was relieved I guess. And the worst part was I was alone when I arrived, so the least I could do is maybe go introduce myself.

Well, the introduction was definitely necessary because apparently since all of the other bedrooms are taken by witches or turned into teachers’ private offices, Cordelia is staying in my room. Since I was alone when I got here, I gravitated to Myrtle and we became very close very fast. Because of this, Myrtle was kind enough to let me have my own bedroom, she understood I needed my own peaceful space. Well now this isn’t about to be my peaceful space. It’s about to be crashed by Supreme Jr.

Because of my love for Myrtle I didn’t have the heart to argue with her when she told me about the room situation. I decided to just write what I was feeling here. Dang Myrtle and her ability to always be right, I guess this stupid diary is a good thing after all. Anyway, apparently Supreme Jr. is named Cordelia, and she mayyyy be the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I don’t know, she is just so dang beautiful. She had the softest, prettiest blonde hair I’ve ever seen. It was in a middle part, and she had on this really cute dress with a long-sleeved shirt underneath it. Her eyes were a beautiful brown, and I swear when I looked into them, I saw straight into her soul. It was full of purity and love and all things beautiful. It was like looking into an angel. I was instantly infatuated with her. It’s so stupid. I don’t even know this girl, I can’t be in love with her. But even though we exchanged just a simple hi, I already know she’s nothing like Fiona.

Well, I’m officially not alone anymore. I guess it could be worse though, at least Supreme Jr. seems really sweet. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but she’s nothing like her mother. She honestly just seems so kind. I can’t wait until after dinner because I really want to get to know her more. She seems easy to talk to. She is kind of shy, but that’s ok because I don’t mind starting conversations. I hope after we start to talk for a while, she’ll open up more.

Tonight was great. So it’s been like 5 hours since I last wrote. Dinner went well, Cordelia sat next to me. We talked through dinner, so dinner was actually really fun tonight. After dinner we went back to the room and played my new Super Smash Bros game. Cordelia was so cute, she was struggling with the shape of the controller, so I held her hands and demonstrated what buttons to push. Her hands were so soft and delicate, but that’s beside the point. After I showed her how to hold the controller and what to push, we played for a couple hours. Poor Cordelia kept getting knocked off the platform, so at one point I let her throw me off just because she was getting so frustrated, and I hated seeing her upset. Once we were both tired of playing, we talked for hours. We just talked about everything and nothing. She told me that Fiona hates her and wanted to get rid of her. I told her how I understood how that felt, and I was sorry. She smiled at me and hugged me. It was honestly the most comforting hug I’ve ever been given, and I want a thousand more. I’ve never really been the “here is my entire life story and all of my issues in ten minutes” kind of person, but with Cordelia I feel like I could tell her anything and everything, and she would just listen and offer comfort when needed. I could talk to her forever. Oh, I also kept calling her Supreme Jr. and she got upset and hit my arm, but I know deep down she likes it. I learned that she is 15, so we’re the same age which I guess is cool. I kept my disdain of her mother to myself. I don’t think that is something she needs to know about, especially with what happened between me and Fiona.

Ending on that note, maybe having a roommate won’t be such a bad thing after all. And I guess this diary isn’t the worst thing that’s happened to me.

Soooo goodnight, I guess.

-y/n

#cordelia goode x reader #cordelia goode #ahs x reader #cordelia foxx x reader #cordelia foxx #ahs #i really hope you all like this #i'm really excited about this idea so we'll see if this story flops

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madebysimblr · 2 years

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The Steele Family Tree

I realized as I was putting together the Prologue, that 1. the Steele family is huge and 2. if you’re jumping in without knowing my legacy, it might be confusing. SO I’ve updated their tree to reflect the family as of the start of this lil series. I also included non married partners :3 Below are small bios for everyone too. And I’ll supply links to each of their tags starting from the oldest post in the legacy if you would like to read up on anyone in particular. :D The Steeles as a whole are one of my favorite family of Sims I’ve ever had.

Sadie & Arturo: They’ve been together since Sadie was a senior in high school. Arturo is a year older than her, and he took her last name when they married. Sadie used to work as an agent for musicians, including Arturo. Who made a decent chunk of money from his work as a DJ. They have just moved to Oasis Springs after living in Windenburg their whole life.

Thaddeus (Tad) & Rigg: The eldest Steele child. Tad doesn’t use their full name, as they’ve always been “Tad” to even their parents. When Sadie was pregnant with Tad, she referred to them as “their little tadpole” and the name stuck. Tad came out as non-binary in high school. After visiting home one day when they were in college they heard a giant crash and found someone knocked out on the ground. That person was Rigg, an alien from another time and planet, banished from their home planet for being a thief. Tad and Rigg ended up falling in love not long after and have been together ever since. They live in an apartment in San Myshuno with Tad’s best friend Natalie, and her girlfriend, Jules.

Gwendolyn (Gwen) & Marcus: The eldest daughter. Gwen grew up close with Marcus, who is the adopted son of Kim and Maren Kassabian (friends of Sadie). They both had budding crushes on each other from a young age but neither ever acted on it. In Gwen’s first semester of college she found out Marcus had feelings for her and they ended up dating. Gwen works as a video game music composer, and Marcus as a nurse. They run a decently successful twitch channel as well where they play games, as that’s a passion they both share. They got engaged whilst they were in college, and married the next day. Preferring to have money to go on a really nice honeymoon. When they came back they discovered Gwen was pregnant with their first daughter Eevee. Marcus bought a fixer upper in Evergreen Harbor that he along with their families renovated into their dream home. It took about two years and as soon as they moved in they learned Gwen was pregnant again with their youngest, Sera. They live in Evergreen Harbor.

Alonso & Lilah: Alonso is one of the twins and the eldest son. Alonso was a typical troublemaker as a child and teen. Much to his chagrin his twin brother Eugene wasn’t the same. Alonso met Lilah after high school when they both were trying to get into a club despite being underage. Alonso had been a one night stand kinda guy up until that point- but Lilah matched his vibe so they ended up dating. They’ve been together ever since. Lilah works as a cam girl (which has proved VERY lucrative) and Alonso does whatever odd jobs he wants. They currently live in a penthouse in San Myshuno.

Eugene & Danielle: Eugene is one of the twins and the middle son. Eugene was an honor roll student and never so much as missed a day of school (really good immune system). He got into university no problem and upon going to his first halloween party he met Danielle. They hooked up and Danielle got pregnant. Yes this was Eugene’s first time. After finding out he tried his best to do the right thing. In the beginning of Dani’s pregnancy they remained friends but they ended up dating during that time as well. After the birth of their daughter, Veronica (Vera) they got engaged. They got married a couple years later. They live in downtown Windenburg.

Cordelia: The youngest daughter, and Sadie and Arturo’s last biological child. The star of our show. Her story is happening now! She’s been an out lesbian since she was a kid. She had a giant crush on princesses when she was younger when she would listen to fairy tales. Never understood why the knight always had to be a guy.

Oliver & Kassandra: The youngest son, and Sadie and Arturo’s only adopted child. Oliver came out as trans in his senior year of high school to his parents and was able to begin transitioning physically. He had told Cordy a long time ago, and she had always been incredibly supportive. After he came out he got more comfortable in school, as he could now be on the boy’s soccer team. He and Kassie ended up dating after she stood up for him at a winter formal against a transphobe (and cordy kicked said transphobe’s ass). They’ve been together nearly two years. Kassie is at college to be a doctor, and Ollie is there on a soccer scholarship and is on the school team.

The grandkids of Sadie and Arturo haven’t been featured yet in the legacy so there isn’t much to say about them rn :) That’s everyone though! Hopefully this helps avoid confusion lol.

Links to Stories:

Sadie l Arturo l Tad l Gwen l Alonso l Eugene l Cordy l Ollie l Ollie (pre-transition)

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oveliagirlhaditright · 3 years

Text

...Not that we at all care about what J*oss Whedon thinks, because he’s a creep.

But it’s kind of funny (ehh, that might not be the right word for it), that for years, people have been battling each other to the death over what the “Right Ship” in his “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” was: Buffy/Angel or Buffy/Spike.

But at least to begin with... he absolutely did not want either of those. The vampires in Buffy are supposed to be a metaphor for the challenges an adolescent faces growing up, so they were all supposed to be absolutely evil and none were supposed to stick around (I think he also worried that messing with this idea could make Buffy seem like a murderer, which he definitely didn’t want).

I think he wanted Buffy and Xander to end up together That you can still maybe see tiny remnants of. Especially in the season eight comics... And I like Xander. I really do. But I am so glad this didn’t happen. One, because Xander is a J*oss Whedon self-insert, so it sort of would have been creepy. And two, because somehow and some way, pretty much every girl in the Buffyverse but Buffy ends up having a thing for Xander at some point, despite him really not being anything special (I say that with love. Him being the ordinary guy is his thing). So Buffy finally falling in love with him would have just been too much.

But I think it was David Greenwalt who talked him into doing stuff with Angel. So they came up with the idea of the Bangel romance--that was supposed to end ultimately tragically, with Buffy having to kill Angel to save the world and him never coming back--and that Angel was the only vampire in the world who had a soul, and that he’d been cursed with it: so that he would have to feel guilty about all the horrible things he’d done without a soul.

Spike, who comes along in season two, was not supposed to last. He’s sort of set up as that season’s Big Bad, but it actually becomes Angelus (evil Angel who has lost his soul). And originally, Spike was supposed to get killed somewhere during the season, and Spike’s girlfriend Drusilla--who Angelus had some history with--were supposed to start banging to really break Buffy’s heart.

But James Marsters was so darn likable as Spike. And apparently this enraged J*oss Whedon. It’s actually horrible. He was really abusive towards James Marsters (who plays Spike), and he didn’t deserve it at all. He already didn’t really want Angel... but he didn’t want to have to be forced to have to keep Spike because of how popular he was. Apparently he like pushed James up against a wall and was like, “I don’t care how popular you are! You’re dead, you hear me?! Dead!” And James held his hands up and responded, “Okay, I mean, the ball’s in your court, man.” What a man, James Marsters is. Damn. I probably wouldn’t have been so cool about this.

But Spike did not die in season two. I don’t know why they didn’t decide to kill him, after all. But they didn’t.

In the TV Guide Buffy and Angel interviews for the TV Guide interviews, I think, James Marsters talks about how after Cordelia was moved from Buffy to Angel, he was brought on the show to be the “You’re all stupid, and we’re going to die” character. You’d think that this would have been Anya, but I guess not entirely. Or maybe they hadn’t figured that out yet. And this was usually accompanied with him running into Giles’ house in broad daylight with a blanket draped over him, so he wouldn’t burst into flames... but I guess the writers hated doing that? So James Marsters thought that he was probably about to be fired here, and thanked David Boreanaz here for what he did with Angel here, because he thought it opened up the door for him and Spike, and that he thought they wouldn’t have thought to do it, otherwise.

But I think it was at this point that J*oss decided that he was going to make S*pike fall in love with Buffy, too. But unlike Angel, he didn’t have a soul, so it would be toxic... (Edit: I forgot to mention that it was also because Buffy was going to learn that there was a darkness to the Slayer’s power and thus a darkness to her, and Spike was supposed to help her explore that. Because J*oss thought she had gotten too powerful, so now there had to be a sort of consequence and danger to that power). Except that the audience could see nothing but James’ charm, and could not see that it was toxic, which led to them writing the scene in “Seeing Red”, where Spike tries to r*ape Buffy... which, thankfully, once he gets his bearings, he is immediately shameful and horrified by, and he yeets himself out of there to go get a soul, because he knows he needs one. Not that that makes it perfect, but still. Thankfully they’re a lot better in season seven. And in the comics. And there was some good even with all the toxicity, but a lot of bad, too, because Spike’s feelings are all twisted in not having a soul.

I think in having to write Bangel and Spuffy, though, J*oss is really proud of him and did do his best with them. He says that he honestly can’t choose between the two of them, and is torn right down the middle. Which might be why, even though the comics had seemed to choose Spuffy, they seemed to cancel that at the last minute and leaved it undecided it again. And leaved Buffy single, but on terms with both boys and still loving both of them. Though I do think J*oss has said a few times that he maybe slightly prefers Spuffy, if for no other reason than Angel baffles him some, and he finds him a slightly harder character to write for. And this is why all the season finales of Angel really strip him down, to try and figure out who he is and what’s ticking underneath him.

But, anyway... I just think it’s kind of funny that the world is always fighting over Bangel versus Spuffy, and--at least originally--Joss would have been like, “Neither! Please, God, no!”

#buffy the vampire slayer #long post #Joss Whedon mentions #Joss Whedon tw #rape tw

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edettethegreat · 3 years

Text

How to stage King Lear so that Edmund’s 100% more sympathetic and Gloucester’s 100% more of a jerk

( the prequel )

( the sequel )

(This is 100% about Edmund. If you wanna read stuff about other characters then this isn’t the post for you)

(Seriously this isn’t about anyone other than Edmund)

(This is your final warning- enjoy!)

(Or don’t I don’t care I’m really tired and I have midterms to study for)

General Staging

-every time Edmund and Gloucester are on stage together, they gravitate away from each other. Kinda like what happens when you try to push two magnets together. If one takes a step towards the other, the other moves away.

-Gloucester rarely ever looks at Edmund. He often walks in front of him when both are walking together. In scenes where a three way conversation is taking place between himself, Edmund, and someone else, he looks at the other person the whole time.

-Edmund faces away from people when he’s lying to them. Often by standing in front of them (but like, across the stage from them so the audience can see them both) (like this—->)

(I deleted the picture accidentally this is not ok now I have to draw it again)

Casting/ Costumes

-(I’m only gonna be talking about the characters that I actually care about how they’re cast)

-Edmund: someone of average height, yet shorter than Gloucester, Edgar, and Cornwall. Around the same height as Albany and Goneril. Taller than Regan. Is attractive (obviously. That’s one of the first things we’re told about him), but leaning more towards cute than hot (as per my analysis in a previous post). Wears shades of grey- all of his costumes make it clear that he’s upper class, but they’re not overly flashy.

-Gloucester: If I get even one Santa Claus vibe, I’m gonna punch a wall. He should have zero resemblance to Santa. I just saw a production of Lear where he may as well have been a mall Santa. I wanted to scream. Anyway. Onto what he should look like. I honestly don’t care, as long as i can’t mistake him for Santa. It’s the vibe that counts. ANYWAY. His costume is obnoxiously ostentatious, but it gets gradually more normal as the overall stress level increases.

-Edgar: taller than Edmund, and physically more muscular, but in like “Disney channel movie football player side character who’s no one’s primary love interest and is kinda dumb” sort of way. (Future Edette Editing: What I meant was “he’s a himbo”) He’s not ultra hot, but he’s not exactly ugly either. He’s pretty average looking. He wears shades of brown, because I feel like that suits him.

-Cornwall: tall but doesn’t give off Tall Person Vibes. Preferably with dark brown or black hair, but other colors can work as well. I cannot imagine him wearing anything other than suits that are mostly black with some shades of red somewhere- I don’t care how you incorporate the shades of red into his costume, as long as they’re there.

-Albany: has a dark shade of blond hair, or a medium shade of brown hair. Any other hair color just doesn’t work. (Future Edette Editing: any color hair other than black is fine for Albany). Dresses sensibly and wears really boring costumes.

-Goneril, Regan, and Cordelia have at least a little bit of a family resemblance. Please. Their costumes are similar as well- all wear standard types of clothes you’d expect the princesses of England to wear.

ACT 1 SCENE 1

- Gloucester and Kent enter the stage with Edmund trailing behind them. They’re entering the palace from outside. Idk how England’s weather works, but I decided that the whole play takes place in the fall. I’m not wrong. It does. It doesn’t feel like the sort of play to take place in any other season. You can all fight me on this in the comments, I have no evidence to back up this claim. Anyway, they’re all wear jackets. Because it’s fall.

-As Kent and Gloucester say their first lines, they take their jackets off. It’s hot inside the palace. Edmund leaves his jacket on. It’s not a heavy jacket. He’ll be fine.

-As Gloucester finishes up his first line “...can make choice of either’s moiety” he hands his jacket to Edmund. He does this in a very natural way- it’s clear this is something he does instinctively, without thinking about it. Edmund takes it. He takes it instinctively as well, without thinking about it.

-Kent, watching this says the line “Is not this your son, my lord?”. As in “hey dude. Isn’t he your kid? Why are you treating him like a servant or a coatrack?”

-at “His breeding, sir, hath been at my charge”, Gloucester puts a hand on Edmund’s shoulder in a “yes this is my son” sort of way. He does that a bit too roughly- not in any attempt to hurt Edmund, but definitely showing that he’s doing it for show and not in genuine fatherly affection.

-While Gloucester talks about Edmund, a waiter goes around with champagne glasses. Maybe they have actual liquid (ie water) in them, maybe not. I don’t care. Anyway, both Gloucester and Edmund take one.

-As Gloucester continues talking, he slowly sips whatever alcoholic beverage is in the champagne glass. (Probably champagne, but hey, I’m no expert on alcohol). NO, this isn’t to imply that he’s only speaking Like That (TM) because he’s drunk. He is not drunk.

-meanwhile Edmund downs the whole glass, in the standard theatre way of “I don’t wanna be here and I don’t wanna deal with this”

-Gloucester hands his empty glass to Edmund. He seems to suddenly remember that Edmund is, in fact, there. He says him line “Do you know this noble gentleman, Edmund?”

-At “my services to your lordship” he would bow or something (I don’t know English nobility etiquette, sorry), but he’s currently holding two glasses and a jacket, so he partially bows to the best of his ability.

ACT 1 SCENE 2

- A main set piece for this play would be a door or two on wheels that can be moved around. People really like entering and exiting buildings.

-ANYWAY. Edmund comes in through said door, currently located at the back of the stage. Gloucester house have a portrait of Gloucester family in huge on the wall. Gloucester’s in the middle, with Edgar on one said and Edmund on the other. At this point this should go without saying, but the gap between Gloucester and Edmund is much larger than the gap between Gloucester and Edgar. There’s also a desk and chair somewhere on stage.

-As he starts his first soliloquy, he takes off his jacket that he was wearing in scene 1 and drapes it over the back of the chair

-at “legitimate Edgar, I must have your land”, he turns towards the portrait and looks at Edgar. Then there’s a pause in the soliloquy as he goes over to the desk and writes The Letter (TM). Then he continues the soliloquy with “Our father’s love is to the bastard Edmund..”

-Gloucester enters. He doesn’t notice Edmund.

-As Gloucester asks Edmund for the letter, he and Edmund slowly circle around the stage, the way you’d see animals circling when they’re preparing to fight each other. They’re not going to fight. Not directly at least.

-Gloucester doesn’t make direct eye contact with Edmund for most of this scene

-Until he does, at the line “Give me the letter, sir.”. The line itself is said very forcefully. Both Gloucester and Edmund have stopped circling each other. They stand at opposite ends of the stage. There is a pause, and then Edmund takes the letter back out of his pocket and gives it as he continues saying his lines.

-Gloucester spends the remainder of the scene looking at the letter instead of at Edmund.

-“Edmund, seek him out..” is said very offhandedly, like he’s giving an order to a servant, rather than talking to his own son

-Gloucester leaves, Edmund sinks into the chair at the desk. He puts his head down on the desk and leaves it there for a solid second. He starts his soliloquy with his head still down. (Future Edette Editing: I still want something here to show that Edmund doesn’t get any enjoyment from this- he’s doing it out of anger, or as revenge, or to gain what should have been his, had things been slightly different, or possibly as a means of survival. Basically, he’s not doing this to have a fun time at deceiving anyone) He’s not enjoying what he’s doing- he’s not rejoicing at what is seemingly his success- he sees that it doesn’t make a difference. Gloucester would rather have no sons than only have him.

-Edgar enters. Edgar enters in a great mood. His optimism is turned up to a solid 100%.

-“How now, brother Edmund!” He speed-walks over to Edmund, who’s standing near the middle of the stage at this point. He does something brotherly- I don’t know what that would even mean, given that I am a girl with no brothers. He puts his arm around his shoulder or ruffles his hair or something. That’s the vibe I’m going for. The “haha yeah we’re siblings and we totally get along” vibe. Edmund is, however, not vibing.

(-if the second option is what we’re going with, Edmund takes a moment to fix his hair. A very short moment, but a moment none the less)

-Edgar notices that Edmund does not seem to be vibing, and that’s when he continues with his line “what serious contemplation are you in?”

- at “..go armed”, Edmund hands Edgar his own sword. This is the sword Edgar will later use to kill him.

ACT 2 SCENE 1

- On Edmund’s conversation with Curan: This is the first conversation Edmund’s having with someone without there being any uncomfortable tension between them. They talk in a casual way, and it’s clear that outside of the play they would be friends, regardless of status. Why would they be friends? Because I decided they should be.

-Edgar is doubly armed- with Edmund’s sword and with his own. He was planning on returning Edmund’s sword. When they “fight” Edgar uses Edmund’s sword and Edmund uses Edgar’s. They have different types of swords- Edmund’s- which is now Edgar’s- is slightly shorter and lighter. Edgar’s- which is now Edmund’s- is a two handed sword. These details are slightly irrelevant, but I feel like their weapon of choice (even though they’re using each other’s weapons (ie not their weapons of choice)) should match their personalities.

- Edgar just. Has NO idea what’s up with Edmund’s “hey we gotta sword fight now” thing. It should be clear to the audience that he’s ONLY going along with it because he trusts Edmund entirely.

-during the fight, Edmund slashes the family portrait with his sword, cutting a line between Edgar and Gloucester. Is this cliche? Yes. Must it happen anyway, because ✨symbolism✨? Yes.

-Edgar leaves through The Door I keep talking about

- Edmund stabs his non-dominant arm. This is relevant and important.

- “But where is he?” Gloucester hasn’t even noticed at this point that Edmund was injured in the “fight”. “Look, sir, I bleed!” Is Edmund’s attempt to get Gloucester’s attention. It’s his way of saying “I got injured for YOUR sake. THAT’S how good of a son I am!!”

- “where is the villain, Edmund?” The word “villain”, not the word “Edmund” is emphasized. While his seemingly innocent a son is standing there with his arm stabbed and bleeding, he’s more concerned with the son who supposedly plotted against him, but is currently running away now and is of no threat to him.

- (this is the point where I get really into @suits-of-woe’s Cornwall theory, because while I had never thought of it before, as soon as I read it I agreed with it completely. Please go read the theory if you haven’t already.)

- While Gloucester rarely looks at Edmund, Cornwall’s eyes go straight to Edmund as soon as he enters the room. Edmund doesn’t notice- he’s too busy trying to support his stabbed arm in a functional way without bleeding everywhere

-while Gloucester and Regan are talking, Cornwall calls a servant aside and whispers to him. The servant leaves. He asked the servant to get Edmund bandages because his arm has LITERALLY been STABBED and no one’s doing anything about it.

- Edmund’s focused on his arm until Cornwall’s line of “Edmund, I hear that you have shown your father a very child-like office”. Finally, someone appreciates him! At “It was my duty, sir”, it’s clear that there’s some sort of understanding between them. They somewhat get that they’re on the same side. There is a short pause.

- “...and received this hurt you see” Gloucester, being Gloucester, grabs Edmund’s injured arm to “show it off” to Regan and Cornwall. Edmund, master of hiding his emotions and such, winces for a millisecond but then goes back to “ah yes everything is ok and I am totally not condensed rage in human form”.

(Future Edette Editing: I am *so glad* I’m editing this because I really don’t like some of the stuff I shoved in here to try to cater this to a larger audience)

-after “..how in my strength you please”, that servant Cornwall called returns. As he says “For you, Edmund, whose virtue and obedience..” until the end of that paragraph Cornwall takes the bandage and bandages Edmund’s arm- I mean no one else is gonna do it. That, combined with the content of what Cornwall says in the paragraph, lead Edmund to be like “wait. Is this?? A father figure???” “a father figure? For ME???”

(-Hence the Cornwall theory I mentioned earlier)

- “I shall serve you, sir, truly, however else” this is the first line he’ll say in a way that it’s clear to everyone (mainly the audience) that he’s 100% sincere. He’s not trying to be deceptive. He’s not trying to trick anyone. He says it softly and truly means it.

-Edmund’s arm remains bandaged for the remainder of the play. (It’s not heavily bandaged or anything)

ACT 2 SCENE 2

- At “How now! What’s the matter?..” Edmund comes out holding Edgar’s- which is now his, I guess- sword. He’s holding it well enough, considering it’s a two handed sword and he just stabbed himself in the arm, but it’s pretty clear that he won’t be able to win a fight with it. Don’t worry, he’ll get a new sword before his final duel.

-at “no more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers” “his” is referring to Gloucester, not Edmund. This isn’t because Cornwall is ignoring Edmund, it’s because that’s just the order they’re standing in. Edmund entered this scene first out of the four of them, so while Kent and Oswald are on one side of the stage, Edmund stands towards the middle, and Cornwall, Gloucester, and Regan stand at the other side.

ACT 3 SCENE 3

-Gloucester is angry in this scene. Why is he angry? Because I say so. He says all his lines in an angry and bitter way. Which may be counterproductive- having Gloucester be angry about how Lear is treated may make him more likable, which isn’t my goal. But I don’t care.

-Edmund says his paragraph at the end in a bitter and angry way too. Because ✨ parallels ✨

ACT 3 SCENE 5

-Cornwall is Gloucester’s opposite when it comes to how they react to/ treat Edmund. While Gloucester rarely looks at him and has an anti-magnetic effect, Cornwall stands near Edmund on the stage and looks at him both when he’s speaking to him and when Edmund’s replying. And not in a “good eye contact is important” sort of way, because Edmund faces away from people when he lies to them. Just for staging reasons, not because he can’t lie when facing people.

-Cornwall knows Edmund’s lying- he shows this by constantly moving so that he’s nearly always standing beside him instead of behind him (not actually directly behind him; scroll up for General Staging, where I explained this.)

-At “go with me to the duchess” Cornwall puts a hand on Edmund’s shoulder, directly paralleling Gloucester in Act 1 Scene 1. Because I really like ✨parallels✨. Except Cornwall, the same guy who said “thou shalt find a dearer father in my love”, does this in a much more- fatherly, I guess?- way than Gloucester did.

-At “if the matter of this paper be certain...” Edmund does what he does when he lies; ie tries to turn away and takes maybe half a step back. He pretty much trusts Cornwall enough to not walk halfway across the stage when he lies, but not enough for him to either lie directly to his face (or just tell the truth, I guess- but that’s because the whole point of this is to stick to the original script and use only stage directions to make Edmund more sympathetic).

-At “True or false, it has made thee earl of Gloucester...” Cornwall puts his other hand on Edmund’s other shoulder (wow I’m bad at describing things)

Here are some stock photos to help ya visualize this-

THIS is putting one hand on a shoulder. Note that the two people aren’t necessarily facing each other.

AND THIS is putting both hands on shoulders-

(So imagine that, but minus how aggressive that looks, and minus one of the people’s arms. Also a whole lot less tense/intense.) (Anyway. Moving on.)

-at “thou shalt find a dearer father in my love” (...cue me googling “how on earth do fathers show affection?” Because I really want to get the point across that edmund’s like “a father figure??? For me???” And Cornwall’s like “👍. A father figure. For you.”) HECK I GOT IT. Hear me out. Cornwall pats Edmund on the head (in like, a fatherly way), and with the other hand hold The Letter (TM) (even though this is a different “the letter”) and looks it over. This is the first time he looked away from Edmund since this conversation started. In a way that portrays “yes you are my son now I have claimed you as my own” but also “you are not necessarily my top priority- I can give you the fatherly love and affection you desire, but it’s not exactly unconditional. You did well today, good job! You keep up the good work and I’ll keep up my end of this; ie providing you with the fatherly love you never received in your childhood” ( @suits-of-woe I am trying here. I am struggling. I’m so sorry for ruining the Cornwall Theory like this- I’m trying my best to convey it via my amazing stage directions, but I can see pretty clearly that I’m epically failing at this).

ACT 3 SCENE 7

-Cornwall walks onto the stage first, followed by Goneril and Regan close behind them, and Edmund last.

-at “Farewell, sweet lord, and sister”, Cornwall nods at Goneril in response (this has nothing to do with Edmund, I always just thought it was weird that he doesn’t respond)

- at “Edmund,.. farewell” Goneril had already left the stage, Regan is standing next to Cornwall at the opposite end of the stage. Edmund’s about to exit when Cornwall says “Edmund”. He turns around- expecting Cornwall to say something more to him or something. There’s a pause. Cornwall doesn’t have anything else to say. He just says “Farewell”. Edmund nods and leaves the stage.

ACT 4 SCENE 2

-oh heck I gotta stage an Edmund and Goneril scene now

-I don’t wanna?

(Future Edette Editing: and so I won’t!! I don’t normally describe things as cringe, but that’s what this was. I only put this in because I felt obligated to talk about every scene. Oh well- I guess 4.2 isn’t getting stage directions from me)

ACT 5 SCENE 1

-Edmund enters first, dressed in some sort of military commander uniform. Because. Like. There’s a war going on. His sleeves are rolled up/cuffed up to elbow length, and his arm is still bandaged from when he stabbed it.

-there is a tent with a desk in it on stage. Hold on let me illustrate this:

(Future Edette Editing: yeah there was an illustration here, but I’m changing some stuff so I deleted it)

It’s all on wheels so it can be moved around the stage- whichever piece is the most important to the scene will be more up front.

-Edmund stands at the desk which has some military plans of some sort on it.

-Edmund is armed with a brand new sword (Cornwall’s sword? Maybe? Who knows?) (UPDATE: yeah hi future Edette here- I decided that it is, in fact, Cornwall’s sword)

-With Regan, Edmund also doesn’t get that she’s flirting with him right away.

-and then. Then he’s like “OH WAIT” “WAIT SHE’S FLIRTING” “WAIT SO I GOT 2 GIRLFRIENDS??” “OH WOW THIS IS FANTASTIC” “THIS IS LITERALLY THE BEST WEEK OF MY LIFE” (lol Edmund it’s also the last week of your life)

-he 100% realized at “No, by mine honor, madam”.

-Albany stands at the opposite end of the desk. He never moves any closer or further from Edmund than the opposite end of the desk. Goneril would have moved closer but Albany is blocking her.

-as Edmund leaves he puts on his military commander hat of some sort and adjusts it while looking in a mirror or some other reflective surface. Just to show he’s still the same Edmund from act one- he still cares about his appearance to an extent.

-at “the enemy’s in view, draw up your powers.” Edmund half-jogs in back onto the stage- showing that he wasn’t just commanding the soldiers ( if he was he’d have been walking at a moderate pace), but he was actually with them, to some extent, fighting along side them on the battlefield.

- (Future Edette Editing here: yeah so I deleted the notes on the soliloquy here. I didn’t like them. Oh well.)

ACT 5 SCENE 3

-wow it’s hard to make this Edmund guy redeemable/sympathetic when he kills off Cordelia. Like. He really didn’t need to do that

-why, Edmund. Why must you do this.

-you’re making my job here (ie to make you sympathetic) very difficult.

-ANYWAY. I’ll do what I can for this scene

-The captain here? Yeah, he’s Curan from earlier. Edmund made him a captain. There you have it, Edmund’s one semi-redeeming factor for this scene

-I really don’t know how to have this part play out in a way that makes the audience sympathize with Edmund. This is the best I can do.

(Future Edette Editing: yeah so honestly killing off Cordelia and Lear was a logical and strategic move to make, tbh. ((Not morally fantastic. But logical.)) Because yeah Albany would have left them alive and then what? They’d get the throne? Let’s be real here- the country’s already collapsing- the last thing you need is Lear or Cordelia on the throne. Even *Albany* would do a better job than either of them. And he wouldn’t do anything at all. So. Yeah.)

-I’m so burnt out right now I know this isn’t the quality content you came here for but I don’t know how to get this back on track either. ANYWAY I am dedicated to finishing this. Let’s go! There isn’t much left to the play! I’m almost done!

-at “Sir, by your patience, I hold you but a subject of war..” Albany speaks in a very harsh tone- talking to Edmund as if he were a child who interrupted class for like the eighth time that day. Albany’s just salty that his wife likes Edmund more than him.

(Future Edette Editing: Sorry if this doesn’t flow well here anymore- I deleted a bunch of stuff)

-as the argument continues, Regan and Goneril get more frantic because they see they’re not winning.

-Albany gets louder and angrier because he’s frustrated that his wife likes Edmund more than she likes him. Also because at this point, he pretty much hates Edmund.

-Edmund, however, is the quietest out of all the yelling people around him. He doesn’t like arguments- or rather, he doesn’t like when he’s the one the argument is directed towards. He tries to stay calm and talk in a level voice. As everyone around him argues he tries to step in between them and silently play the role of peacekeeper.

-at “Nor in thine, my lord” Edmund is still calm./ not yelling at him. He says it like he’s stating a fact, not contributing to the argument.

-at “half blooded fellow, yes!” My book’s translation to modern english say “Bastard, it is!”. And like. No one’s called him a bastard for like 4 whole acts now. All I have to say to this is Big Oof. (Is that a dead meme? Yeah. Probably.) Edmund is surprised at first- then glares at him- in a way saying “oh? You want to go there? We can go there. I’ll gladly fight you with my own two hands.”

-at “I will mainly my truth and honor” he draws his sword, which I have now decided definitely is Cornwall’s sword. Why does he have it? Idk, Regan probably gave it to him.

-As Edgar and Albany talk before the fight, Edmund swings his sword at nothing in particular- the way you’d see people warming up for a fight. This sword is not a two handed sword, so he’ll be fine even with his stabbed arm. As I mentioned earlier, he stabbed his non-dominant arm, so his sword arm is fine.

-at “In wisdom I should ask thy name..” he does something to indicate that he might know it’s Edgar. What does he do? I don’t know. Something with a whole lot of ✨symbolism✨. I’ll figure it out before posting this. Or maybe I won’t. (Future Edette Editing: Yeah so I figured out what to do here slightly after, and I have a whole post about it- but to sum it up, he looks at the *mysterious masked man*’s sword (which as you may recall was his). And he’s like “oh. Oh. Ok then.”)

-they fight. Edgar (as I previously mentioned) is using the sword Edmund gave him at the beginning. Edmund is using Cornwall’s sword.

-As they fight it’s clear that they’re pretty evenly matched. (I mean. Then again, Edmund was just helping in battle like two seconds ago while Edgar was just chilling with his half dead/dead father. So. Edmund’s trying to win a duel after just doing a bunch of exhausting physical activity while Edgar is not.) (Edmund would win if they were fighting when they were both at their strongest)

-(I’ve mentioned this in a previous post, but I’m gonna restate it so that you don’t mess up on how you imagine the fight going down. There’s only one valid interpretation of it, and it’s my own interpretation. That has literally never been used in any production. Yup. That’s the only valid way to imagine the duel.) ANYWAY. As they fight, Edmund seems to be about to win, when Edgar hits his already stabbed arm. Edmund loses focus in that one moment, because. Like. That’s painful. (I was gonna say he drops his sword, but does he? Does that work? I don’t know. If he does or doesn’t, it’s valid either way). Then Edgar stabs him. With is kinda even more painful, and somewhat fatal.

-After he’s stabbed, some random soldier brings him to the tent toward the back of the stage, where he stays until he’s brought off stage

Here’s an illustration to help you picture this:

-Edmund is more focused on his wound than the conversation. His tone and body language for the rest of the play conveys “You won! I lost! I’m sorry! Can I get medical attention now??”

-Headcanon that Edmund would have lived if he would have gotten some medical attention sooner

-at “yet Edmund was beloved” he does a little sarcastic laugh (not like a laugh laugh, more like a cynical nose exhale?)- he sees the irony of how all three of them trying to take their rightful power, and all dying at the same time as a result of it.

-while Edmund tells them they still have time to save Cordelia, he sinks down/lies down. He already accepted the fact that he’s going to die.

-while he’s delivering this news, Edgar and Albany look at him in shock and then at each other. From there to the rest of the scene, no one looks at Edmund again. Not because they don’t like him, just because they find him irrelevant now (which Albany outright states a few lines from here).

-When Albany tells the soldiers to take Edmund off the satge/away from there, he doesn’t look at Edmund, he just vaguely motions to him.

-At “Edmund is dead, my lord” “That’s but a trifle here”, Albany barely turns to look at the messenger. He doesn’t care that Edmund is dead. No one does. The wheel has come full circle. No one cared about Edmund at the start, and he’s just as irrelevant now. Edmund wanted to be something to people. He would have wanted them to react to his death. If they had celebrated it, he would have been happier than if they ignored it. He doesn’t even get that much.

-The Curtains Close. The Play Is Over-

#king lear #shakespeare #Do you know how many HOURS went into this??#...because I don’t #I genuinely have no idea how many hours went into this #I was studying for midterms at the same time as writing this #so the hours spent on this and this alone were probably around 5?#5 hours sounds legit

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hadtochangemyurlquick · 3 years

Note

57 and 10 for shoni ?

Rules: Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

Forgotten First Meeting & Airport/Travel AU

so i've gotten a couple of anons bugging me about poet!toni so here is the beginning of an au i'm chewing around with. this is more actually an au of an au, as this won't actually be a scene in it, it was just me dicking around with the characters. Basically, shelby and toni play sisters in king lear and also toni's poetry is slowly driving shelby up a wall and has been since they first met in an airport and shelby robbed toni of her notebook but toni forgot she existed and shelby has hung onto the notebook ever since. The first poem is an original, the second is an excerpt from my girl adrienne rich. it's barely an airport au, anon i'm sorry, but suck my dick <3

It’s a little leather bound notebook, moleskin and only half full.

Toni Shalifoe!!

Don’t read!!!!!!

Email me here!!!! [email protected]

It’s something of a haiku, which is line with the first poem, also pretty intensely structured.

There is one apple left on the old apple tree

Fall

Winter

Spring

Summer

My golden color turns to brown

Bite by the squirrels chews me down

There is only a core

Left of me

On that old apple tree

But my seeds are planted

And I have left

A legacy

Shelby reads every single poem in there, disregarding the first entry begging her not to. The scrawl is childish but she thinks the girl must be old, middle school or something. She never shows her parents and she never emails to return the notebook.

It was in a Minnesota gate anyway, what was she gonna do, mail it?

The poems are odd, one is about climbing a mountain, another about the angel of death, a third about an apple tree. Shelby never quite gets them and she decides the writer doesn’t really either. Toni. Whoever she is.

She’s only a fourth grader and she’s not allowed to use a computer without parent permission anyway. So she doesn’t think about it.

Years pass.

King Lear is the worst Shakespeare play Woods could’ve chosen for the fall production. For one thing, it’s not a history like Richard is, so it won’t get cool and bloody. That wasn’t a problem for her but if they wanted guys to audition, blood and gore was necessary. It wasn’t a comedy like Twelfth Night nor was it famous like Midsummer, meaning audiences would be bored and ticket sales would go down. Again, not a problem for her but they were already operating a shoe string budget, ever since the football team got that new scoreboard.

Shelby wasn’t saying the football team didn’t deserve that scoreboard! Andrew might not have thrown a completed pass since the ninth grade but football was an important sport. They needed it.

The one thing that pissed Shelby off about King Lear was that it wasn’t a romance. Call her basic but she was a sucker for love stories. King Lear was just a tragedy about some king losing his throne. There was nothing interesting or important or applicable and she didn’t get how she was supposed to play Cordelia. Cordelia refused to say she loved her father, that was her whole thing. She was just a pretty girl who didn’t love her father.

“Shelby,” Woods said. “This is your sister, Goneril,”

Shelby looked up from the script to the antagonist, a short women with a furrowed brow. “Have we met?”

“I don’t think so,” Shelby held out her hand. “Shelby Goodkind. Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Toni Shalifoe,” Toni Shalifoe said. She took Shelby’s hand and Shelby kept her expression clear, continuing to grin brightly at the girl’s who’s poems had haunted two years of her life. It had to be a different Toni. What were the chances?

“Toni here,” Woods clapped her shoulder, “Just moved from Minnesota.” Frick. “I thought maybe you could show her around.”

Shelby smiled wide. “I would love to.”

How did some random no one from nowhere become Goneril? One of the biggest parts in the show? That wasn’t fair to Cindy, who’d been auditioning every year! Probably because Toni was a senior or something, had to be it. Or maybe she’d been held back? Shelby had been so sure the writer was older than her.

“So,” Shelby said, once Woods walked away to harass the orchestra. “Do you like Texas?”

“Fuck no,” Toni said.

“It’s not that bad,” Shelby tried.

“Literally what’s to like?”

“Clearly you’ve never been to a dude ranch.”

Toni rolled her eyes. “Hard pass.”

“That wasn’t an invitation,” Shelby said.

“Thank god,” Toni said.

She sorted through her lines, brow furrowing again as she made notes and Shelby watched her, wondered if she was still brilliant. If she was the same age as Shelby, which she seemed to be, surely she still had to be writing right?

“At least we’re doing a decent play,” Toni said.

Shelby blinked at her. “You think King Lear is decent?”

“Duh,” Toni looked up. “It’s like—one of his best? C’mon, don’t tell me you don’t get it.”

“I guess I don’t get it,” Shelby said. “It’s just about some crazy king giving up his throne. Divine right to rule and like not democratic.”

“It’s about three daughters struggling to figure out what to do with their parent in his old age,” Toni said. “It’s about the sick and dying not being taken care of and being cheated by their kids.”

“Okay,” Shelby tried. “So?”

“So,” Toni said. “Eventually you’ll have to decide what to do with your parents. Whether to put them in a home or have them stay with you or whatever. They’re gonna get old and sick eventually.”

“I know that,” Shelby said.

“So why don’t you like King Lear?” Toni said. “Let me guess—you prefer Romeo and Juliet?”

“I’m a sucker for a good romance,” Shelby said. “Sue me.”

“Romeo and Juliet isn’t a romance, it’s a treatise on the importance of letting your kids be happy,” Toni said.

“What?”

“If Romeo’s parents had realized how deep heartbroken he was, or if Juliet’s parents realized she didn’t want to marry Paris, they both would’ve been and probably wouldn’t have fallen in love,” Toni said.

“Hold on,” Shelby said. “You’re saying the greatest love story ever told was actually teenage rebellion?”

“If that’s your greatest love story, I’m sorry for you,” Toni said.

Shelby got up and walked away.

Later, and she wasn’t proud of this, she realized Toni had left her bag behind. She knew it was Toni’s because she had to open it to find out who it was. And when she opened it she saw a little spiral notebook.

Property of: Toni Shalifoe

[email protected]

Please email me if you find this.

There was no instruction not to read so…

I dreamed you were a poem,

I say, a poem I wanted to show to someone…

and I laugh and fall dreaming again

Of the desire to show you to everyone I love,

to move openly together

in the pull of gravity, which is not simple,

which carries the feathered grass a long way down the upbreathing air.

Shelby slammed the journal shut, shoved it in the backpack, and raced out of the auditorium. Hopefully, Toni would return for her own backpack.

#listen #i know it's not that good i haven't even read it yet #but ppl were desperate for poet!toni so here she is #gus writes #poet!toni #i read an adrienne rich poem the other day and a poem i thought was about a woman dying of breast cancer #i think is actually about a trans dude #so she might be a terf and i might be dumb #but! this does not decrease my love of her #she is dead so me enjoying her art does not benefit her at all #the wilds fanfic #the wilds #shoni #goodfoe fanfic #goodfoe

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lizardrosen · 3 years

Text

National Theater Live King Lear

Hello, here is a ridiculously long review of this production! I just had a lot of feelings and thoughts!

Setting/Staging/Mood

I really loved the sound design for this one. It’s hard to describe, but the chords gave it a real presence and sense of motion. It was vaguely reminiscent of horror movie music in the way the chords lingered and didn’t blend in seamlessly, but I wouldn’t call it horror music exactly. The BELL tolling while Lear zips up his folder was such a good first image and bit of sound. And there were drinking songs, which I always love to see in a play. Put that Epic Theater technique straight in my mouth!

The circle in the middle that’s red in the first half and white in the second was a really creative detail, and the actors used that space effectively, especially with overlapping exits and entrances to make it feel that scenes happened in different locations while still being thematically connected.

The opulence and ceremony of the first scene gradually gives way to the more sparse and modern staging of act five — formal military dress to fatigues

I love how Lear raises his hand in prayer and command, compelling everyone else to follow suit to show their devotion and allegiance (and is there a difference between their king and their gods in this world?) even when they’re unsure about whether he’s right to be so cruel to Cordelia.

The recurring imagery of money changing hands really fits in well with the theme of love as currency that’s already in the text!

The single tree in the background of act five gave me Waiting For Godot vibes, which works SO WELL with the absurdism and nihilism of Lear.

Thoughts about specific characters under the cut!

Edgar! My SON!!

Luke Thompson is the reason I’ve wanted so badly to watch this production; ever since I saw his standout performance as Laertes in the 2017 Almeida Theater production, and found out he’s also played Orestes and Edgar, I’ve just been rabid about it!

It’s neat to see him actually at the ceremony of the first scene, with Edmund already Literally in his shadow.

He’s a little less hapless and distracted than most of the Edgars I’ve seen, a little more watchful. In 1.2 he’s actually pushing back against Edmund’s insistence that he’s in danger, and then in 2.1 there’s a long moment of just Looking at Edmund’s knife before he flees.

Similarly, his decision to become Poor Tom felt a bit more calculated. It’s not that he isn’t scared and lost and desperate, because he definitely is, but the plan itself doesn’t seem to grow out of that feeling as much as he (sort of) calmly looked at his options.

Of course, he doesn’t stay calm; that agonized scream when he actually cuts himself, and later on when he sees his father blinded and screams “World, world, o world!” really feels like he’s letting something out, and more than usual he seems to have been holding this part of himself back for a long time.

The counterpart to that is the self that does the watching — it’s a part of all Edgars that makes him a really compelling character, with his self-aware asides, but it’s particularly pronounced here — there’s a moment where he says “Bless thy five wits!” in his normal voice, and then catches himself and has to reassert the role he’s playing for his own safety.

At times he’s very impatient and frustrated while leading Gloucester, but he also cares about him a lot and is so terrified that he’s actually died when he “fell” from the cliff, this poor boy’s entire body is trembling!

He instinctively moves to protect Gloucester from Lear when he gets more violent and unpredictable with “find these son-in-laws and KILL KILL KILL” and it was a good moment

Gives into his own viciousness in the fight with Oswald, and then, Hamlet-like, lugs the guts into the neighbor room.

Edgar doesn’t seem to know if he wants his dad to recognize him or not — he puts Gloucester’s hand on his face, but then as soon as he seems about to realize who he is he very quickly takes it away again and gets them moving

He’s even more desperate and reckless than Edmund in their duel, but then once Edmund is fatally injured, he’s right by his side, holding his hand, helping him through it!

He needs Lear to recognize Kent, he needs Lear to not be dying, he’s so sincere, but then he decides if he can’t save anyone here he can at least help Albany to help the country heal and pledges himself to the future.

Lear

Awful but also very pitiable, more like a human losing his grip and knowing it, than just a Vessel for themes that are echoed in other characters.

Lashes out at himself more than at other people, but he definitely still does both.

“But they shall be the terrors of the earth” is just a man who’s terrified to be losing his words.

He has bad knees and everyone knows it but he keeps trying to kneel, and sometimes it feels like he’s mocking his daughters — look how much I’m suffering for you even though you’re ungrateful — and sometimes it feels like he’s forgotten his own body’s limitations.

Spends a lot of time offering physical comfort to other characters, since he can’t be a dad for his real daughters.

His flower crown scene was Just ophelia, and I think that’s beautiful.

aaaaa, his helpless grief for Cordelia! He moves the noose from her neck to his!! and then he takes out a handgun and threatens everyone away from him, but he’s just so helpless and sad!

Edmund! my other son!

I was a little surprised to see that this actor is James Corrigan, because I recognized him as Roderigo in the RSC Othello, and he’s sort of the anti-Edmund, so I was excited to see the contrast, but honestly there wasn’t as much of a contrast as I expected. He had many of the same cringing appeasing mannerisms, but in a way that makes it clear that he’s aware of his unfair situation in a way his Roderigo really isn’t. Despite being a bastard he has a lot more social power and mobility than Roderigo so he doesn’t seem nearly as pathetic.

Other Edmunds are composed and precise in their soliloquies because this is the one place no one will see them planning things out, and this Edmund is babbling and overwhelmed because this is the one place no one will see him feeling things, because feeling things is dangerous.

He’s so! scared! of his dad! It’s painful to watch, and it’s almost as painful to watch how he’s still looking for approval and respect from Gloucester. Someone save this boy!

He gets in WAY over his head, and it feels like he’s scrambling at every turn, but then at some point he just levels up and strides with confidence, and it’s really good to see.

oh my god, oh my god, he saw everything that happened with Gloucester! After everyone else leaves he comes out from his hiding place looking just devastated. He hated his dad, but he never hated him that much, and by the time he couldn’t stomach it any longer there was no way for him to escape, and then he’s still processing it when he sees that the Fool was also there, and he has to kill him because no one can know he was there. I SCREAMED when this moment happened, it was so good!

WOW, he’s so smooth, it’s no wonder both the sisters want a piece of that! It’s more of a power play with Regan, and a little more courtly with Goneril, and he just knows what each of them want and need from him.

When Lear and Cordelia are captured, Lear says “As if we were God’s spies” and he’s still kingly enough that the soldiers drop to their knees and lift their hands in allegiance, and Edmund has to rush in to make one of them stand up while saying “Take them away” sort of impatiently, and then he immediately checks the order he’s written for their deaths, because he’s just seen how dangerous it is for these two to be kept alive. aaaaa, and then when the captain hesitates, he holds a gun to his temple on “Either say thou’lt do’t, or thrive by other means” !! I love that line and I love the sheer range of deliveries I’ve seen for it!

The wonder in his voice at “Yet Edmund was beloved.” is really good! He’s so desperate to do some good by the end, and I love! Edmund of Gloucester!

Kent

Having Kent played by a woman does some really neat things to the character, not least of which is crossdressing Caius! She sort of feels like she overperforms toxic masculinity to fit into the culture of Lear’s retinue. Other Kents seem to be allowing their latent desires and bluntness to emerge with this role, but this Kent isn’t suited to it, and sometimes she gets a little carried away or makes missteps like beating up Oswald, but she has to see it through, for Lear’s sake.

Kent also doesn’t feel Big In Love with Lear, but she’s definitely devoted to him — and even more than that, she’s devoted to the image of loyalty itself.

Her genuine affection for Cordelia, and pride to see how she’s doing as a queen, is really sweet and good!

After she’s been banished, she rushes out of the throne room as Burgundy and France enter, covering her face like she’s desperately trying to hold back her tears.

She’s with the French soldiers looking for Lear, and is the one who tells him “You shall have anything!”

At the end she’s not exactly surprised that Lear doesn’t connect her with Caius, and she’s not upset (about that part of it anyway, plenty of things in this scene are upsetting), but she’s definitely feeling something.

ahhhh, she picks up Lear’s handgun and sort of cradles it to her side when she prepares for her final journey! sweetheart!

Gloucester

he’s just! a terrible father!! simply the worst!

A lot of the time Gloucester isn’t a very good dad just because he’s friendly and careless and just not paying attention to how he’s treating his sons; this one is actively awful and I actively hate him!!

From the very first scene he’s so scornful and dismissive of Edmund and hitting him for no reason, and then turns around to show off photos of Edgar, and that doesn’t even really benefit Edgar either, because he’s held to an unfair standard he can never live up to.

It really shows in how both of them are touch starved but also extremely cautious about being touched. Someone save them!!

(In fact, in the serial killer Claudius AU, a certain Earl does get himself murdered when Edmund is sixteen)

Not a Bad Dad thing, but not really showing Gloucester in a good light: he does think Lear’s age and reverence should be respected, but his motivation seems to be a lot more based in his indignation that Regan and Cornwall have taken over his home and order him around. For this Gloucester it seemed to be less about feeling sorry for Lear, and more about reasserting his sovereignty.

But because this is Lear I don’t just hate him, and he’s not just a bad father, you also feel for him a lot after he’s been blinded and his legs are just trembling and he’s so scared and lost.

Even after he’s blinded he keeps turning to his photos of Edgar in his wallet, and it’s sad and regretful instead of showing off.

He had a really good cliff fall! He goes up to what he thinks is the edge, and then turns around and braces himself to fall backwards, and then Edgar has to rush to catch him, and lay him gently on the ground, and panic that maybe he’s actually died.

Lear Sisters

No one was prepared for Lear’s announcement and the way each of them responds informs so much of how they act through the rest of the play!

Goneril is startled and unsure and fumbling, and I really felt for her and her “hateful life”, and the way she’s stunned in the wake of Lear’s abuse, but then needs to pull herself together again when he returns. For so much of this play she feels small and adrift, but then she’s so happy for once whenever she’s with Edmund. Albany really does seem to care about her and he’s trying to be good for her, so he takes it when she yells at him, and then stays behind to pray for a bit. He’s a little less nice later on but to be fair she is cheating on him and not bothering to hide it very well.

Regan! With her fake tears and her constant flirtiness, and the way she’s always twirling and showing off! She is a hot mess, and she only gets hotter and messier as the play goes on, but she and Cornwall love each other a lot, and she wants to be suited to torture the way her husband is, but she gets into it by the end of that scene. And then!! her hand on Edmund’s throat! W o w

Cordelia is calm and sure and knows exactly what her sisters are, and in that first scene she comes so close to reaching her father and getting him to change his mind about disowning her. And that carries through to the rest of her performance — she’s competent and precise and loving, and France is smitten with her and listens to her and respects her. When she’s reunited with Lear she wants him to wake up, but also isn’t prepared for it to actually happen, and then she’s so surprised when they say she should be the one to address him first.

Cornwall

I first saw Daniel Rabin as Reynaldo in the Almeida Theater Hamlet (ask me about how Reynaldo and Laertes are half-dating whenever he follows Laertes to France, because I have Opinions), and his Cornwall is SO different

He’s not just manipulative, but violent and enjoying his violence, but he’s also sexy and possessive and commanding, and it’s no wonder Edmund falls for him as hard as he does!

TYING HIS SCARF around Edmund’s hand after he wounds himself for love and validation!? The soft tender look of surprise that Edmund gives him in response!? wow! wow, what a MOMENT!

And then he shoves Edmund into the room after he’s been shown Gloucester’s letter, he has to punish the messenger and assert his position. And after “Thou shalt find a dearer father in my love” Edmund HUGS him, and he’s startled at first but half-returns it (and probably thinking about how he can Use this) (and then cornwall/edmund/regan happens, shhh)

Like Daniel Rabin’s Reynaldo, his Cornwall is very Watchful, just stepping back to observe what’s going on, and then quietly making his judgment before he says anything — and when he does speak he absolutely has the other person’s number.

Good commanding headtilts!

Oh, the laugh right before he uses the hook from the slaughterhouse on Gloucester is just terrifying and compelling, and he’s so turned on by this. Good for him because then he gets to die, and he’s so disgusted and vicious when saying the first servant should be thrown onto the dunghill.

Miscellaneous Moments

Lear puts his jacket on Edgar, and Kent puts her jacket on Lear, and then he immediately takes it off and puts it around Edgar’s shoulders and ties the arms together, but while he’s trying to take off his shirt too, Edgar’s already getting on the ground and letting the jackets fall off of him. Just! Jackets and touch as a form of affection!!

When Gloucester comes out to find Lear, he and Edgar see each other, and there’s just a moment where they’re frozen, Edgar terrified that his father will recognize him, and Gloucester perhaps feeling there’s something familiar about this madman but having no idea what.

While Gloucester is telling Kent about how he had a son he loved who betrayed him, Lear and Edgar are in the background sharing a long hug that almost feels like a beautiful dance! It was such a striking moment, I loved it sooo much.

the HUG with Edmund and Cornwall!! Not over it, never over it.

when Cornwall tells Edmund to leave with Goneril, he gives Goneril his jacket and she’s just quietly surprised and pleased, and it’s cute, and I want her to be happy!!

#king lear #edgar #edmund #gloucester #kent #cornwall #goneril #regan #cordelia #my writing #sort of

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shadowhuntertrash · 3 years

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Hello, I read your other fanfics and absolutely adored them! I was wondering if you could write a Thomastair angst based on the song Consequences by Camila Cabello, I'd prefer if it was in Alastair's pov but it's fine if it's in Thomas'. PS, I loved High Notes, can't wait for the next chapter <33

Sorry this took so long and I kinda mixed the POV hope you don't mind <33

And thank you SO MUCH!!!

Dirty tissues, trust issues

Glasses on the sink, they didn't fix you

Lonely pillows in a strangers bed

Little voices in my head

Thomas stared at the glass in front of him, he had stolen whiskey and rum from Matthew in hopes of drowning out the memories. He didn’t want to remember, he wanted everything to go away. He wanted to forget what the pain felt like, what Alastair felt like.

He couldn’t stand being in his bed anymore, not after all the nights spent there with Alastair, not with all the memories. He couldn’t escape from the memories, they were everywhere, he felt so utterly trapped.

Thomas threw the rest of the drink back and reveled in the burning sensation it sent down his throat. He wanted to drown out all the voices, all the promised whispers in the dead of night. He wanted to drown out the music Alastair played for him, he wanted to drown.

Tears were streaming down his face but he didn’t care. Nothing mattered anymore. With a shuddering breath, Thomas threw the glass at the wall with all his strength. His back slid down the opposite wall as he let out the sobs he had been holding in, the glass shards everywhere.

He knew that feeling, shattering, his heart was all too familiar with it.

Secret keeping, stop the bleeding

Lost a little weight because I wasn't eating

All the songs that I can't listen to, to tell the truth

Alastair had always hated secrets, he wondered if that’s why he hated himself. His whole life, his whole existence felt like one big secret.

He couldn’t tell anyone about his father, he couldn’t tell anyone about Charles, he could’ve told people about Thomas but after so many lies and secrets what was one more? He should have seen it, it shouldn’t have surprised him. He shouldn’t have a bleeding heart right now, he should be with Thomas, laughing in bed. He should be eating lunch right now at a surprise picnic with Thomas instead of ignoring the meals outside his door.

Alastair couldn’t find it in him to get out of bed, he couldn’t find it in him to abandon the place he and Thomas had spent so much time. It felt as if he were giving up on Thomas, on the memories, the whispers, if he were to get out of bed and move on.

He used to play music when he was upset, his piano was right outside his room but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t play the piano, not after all the songs he made for Thomas that Thomas would never get to hear.

He won’t play anymore, no one could make him. He only ever wanted to play for Thomas but if he can’t play for him he won’t play for anyone.

Loving you was young, and wild, and free

Loving you was cool, and hot, and sweet

Thomas closed his eyes tightly, his fisted hands pressing hard into his eyes until he saw stars instead of eyelids. He didn’t want these memories, not anymore, but he couldn’t stop them from flooding in.

He saw flashes of Paris, Alastair walking excitedly in front of him, the wind blowing his hair around. He saw Alastair’s smile as they snuck into the movie theatre, his free smile as he told Thomas animatedly about how amazing mundanes were to have come up with such a contraption.

Thomas felt tears cascading down his cheeks as he pictured the lake they had swam in, on a hot day. The cold water felt good on their skin but it felt better when Alastair’s skin was on his. He felt as if he was finally cooling down for once that summer while also getting hotter than he’d ever been as Alastair kissed him passionately, his legs wrapped around Thomas’s middle as he kept them afloat.

The shy, hesitant kisses they shared in the cover of night. The sweet looks they shared that no one but them understood. Thomas punched the wall trying to draw his physical pain above his emotional pain. He didn’t want to think of their secrets, their inside jokes.

He didn’t want to think about Alastair’s carefree smile that only Thomas got to see. He didn’t want to think about the nights where they broke down. He didn’t want to think about the fights they shared when they were under too much pressure. He didn’t want to think about the tears that ran down Alastair’s face the last time he saw him. Thomas didn’t want to think about the way Alastair’s face crumbled when Thomas slammed the door behind him.

Thomas didn’t want to think.

Loving you was sunshine, safe and sound

A steady place to let down my defenses

But loving you had consequences

Alastair wanted it back. He wanted Thomas back, the memories, the smiles. He wanted his bright spot back, he was drowning in darkness and Thomas was the only one who was ever able to get him out of it.

He wanted to be okay again, he wanted his sanctuary. He wanted that warm safe feeling he always got with Thomas. He wanted Thomas to be there for him like he was when Alastair came out to his father, like he was when Charles wouldn’t leave him alone.

Alastair was tired of having to hide his emotions, he was tired of hiding himself. He wanted to go back to being able to be himself without fear of judgment when he was with Thomas. He wanted Paris back, being allowed to love mundane things because Thomas understood and liked them too. He missed being able to be himself.

But loving Thomas came with its faults. The shouting when they should’ve been asleep. Thomas stumbling in late drunk because he was with Matthew. Alastair’s insecurities taking over and making him defensive and mean.

They had their faults and things that were wrong but Alastair couldn’t help but believe that they were worth the fights, they deserved to be happy and they were happy with each other.

He just wished Thomas felt that too.

Hesitation, awkward conversation

Running on low expectation

Thomas hated parties, he hated weddings and meetings. He hated seeing everyone and pretending he was fine when he was falling apart. He hated seeing Alastair who looked just as broken as Thomas did.

He hated how little he expected from people now, how he felt bad every time he said something jokingly. He hated that he watched what he said around everyone in fear of them being upset by it after having spent so long with Alastair who took everything to heart.

Thomas used to think it was endearing, he thought he would be able to show Alastair that Thomas only ever wanted him. He had wanted so many things for Alastair but time wore them down and it became more problematic than endearing.

He got tired of constantly having to reassure Alastair, he was tired of Alastair being mean when he got defensive.

He was tired.

Every siren that I was ignoring

I'm payin' for it

Alastair beat himself up for missing the signs. He should’ve seen the red flags. He should have seen the silence for the screams they were. He should have noticed when Thomas spent less time with him.

He should have noticed when Thomas started spiraling. He should have noticed Thomas’s tear-stained cheeks and swollen eyes instead of the drink in his hand. He should have noticed when Thomas got in his own head.

Thomas deserved someone who would notice those things and Alastair couldn’t help agreeing that he wasn’t good enough for that. He couldn’t help agreeing that Thomas deserved so much more than him.

Loving you was dumb, dark and cheap

Loving you will still take shots at me

Thomas cursed himself for falling for Alastair’s sweet words and his secretive personality. He cursed himself for falling into the mysterious boy no one truly knew anything about. Thomas cursed himself for being so dumb and falling for all of Alastair’s tricks, all the lies about love.

He didn’t want to love Alastair anymore, not after what he said, but the worst part is that he still loved him. He loved Alastair and it would haunt him forever, he wasted so long on a boy who never even loved him.

How could Alastair love him if he believed all the rumors. How could Alastair love Thomas and still betray the trust they build. How could Alastair love Thomas and still ruin his parent’s and best friend’s lives?

He couldn’t.

Found loving you was sunshine, but then it poured

And I lost so much more than my senses

'Cause loving you had consequences

Alastair walked around as if nothing ever happened, he smiled at acquaintances, played with his little brother, helped Cordelia.

He found new sunshine since Thomas had ripped his away. It had been raining so long that he didn’t remember what it was like not to be drowning. He had lost so much when he lost Thomas, he lost parts of himself he didn’t even know about.

He missed Thomas and didn’t think he’d ever get over it but he learned how to fake it. He learned how to be ‘happy’ around Thomas. He learned how to keep himself together until he was by himself at night.

Thomas was happy now and that was all that had ever really mattered. He would have fought for Thomas if he deserved him but Alastair didn’t because he wasn’t.

He sat and wished more than anything that Thomas would change his mind, that Thomas would realize he still loved Alastair. He waited for it and when it didn’t happen, Alastair realized that he would never stop waiting.

Alastair would spend forever waiting for Thomas because Thomas was worth that.

#the last hours #tlh #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #alastair x thomas #thomastair #tsc fanfiction #ask answered #i hurt my own feelings #these boys deserve the world

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