#also this has been bothering me for weeks now and i wanted to get this out of my system before the premiere. please enjoy

[swordsandholly]

def need more ditzy reader with mechanic 141- the only thing that tops my love for military men is blue collar boys <333

make sure to take care of yourself tho lovie!! don’t burn urself out :))

I for sure want to write more of her. Hopefully after this insane week at work I’ll be able to really sit down and crank out some writing. For now I’m battling my way through Ch 3 of Across the Way

But pls enjoy this little not proofread experimental snippet I wrote for ditzy reader

“Look.” Your landlord sighs loudly. Like you’re the one inconveniencing him. “I’ll send someone out.”

“That’s what you said two days ago! And three days before that!” You stomp your foot at no one just to get some of the anger out.

“I’ll get to it when I get to it.”

“Why can’t you-“ The line cuts before you can finish. The jerk hung up on you! What the hell!

You pout, plopping down into your desk chair and sighing. What are you supposed to do? You’re not allowed to call a handyman according to the lease and you don’t have a boyfriend right now. You can’t keep washing pans in the bathroom. It’s gross.

You huff.

“Alright?” Simon asks and you whirl in your chair. How does he walk so quietly?

“Yeah…” You pout harder under his steady gaze, slipping down further into the chair.

“You’re a terrible liar, luv.” His eyes crinkle in corners with a smile.

“Well…” You shrug, twiddling your thumbs in your lap. “My kitchen sink has been broken for a whole week and the landlord won’t do anything about it! I called and called and he just keeps saying he’ll send someone and then doesn’t!” Your voice pitches at the end, real annoyance bleeding through into the edges of your words. You fist your hands in your skirt.

“That’s all?” He raises an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you just ask one of us?”

You blink twice, staring up at him. Your face heats and you look away bashfully - not wanting to admit you didn’t think to ask for their help. Stupid. “I don’t want to be a bother…”

“I’ll come by after work.”

“You don’t have to-“

“I’ll be there.” He nods before marching back into the garage. You just blink after him as he goes.

True to his word, Simon shows up at your door with a massive tool box in hand. Really, he still can’t believe you live in such a shit complex. Price pays you well enough. The locks might as well be paper-mache. Simon lowers his mask before knocking. He trusts you with his face - hell you probably forget it every time you look away - but he also wants you to trust him too. For whatever reason.

You’re staring when you open the door. Big doe eyes looking up at him and blinking slowly. He wonders what goes on behind those blank eyes of yours - if it’s nothing at all or such a chaotic dialogue that you can’t process it enough to pay attention.

All or nothing.

“Gonna let me in, doll?” He asks. You startle, not realizing how intensely you zoned out.

“Oh! Yes!” You jump out of the way, letting him into your small studio apartment. Every time he thinks your shorts can’t get smaller he’s proven wrong.

Simon takes a look around, huffing at the net full of stuffies hanging on the wall. Everything about your home is soft - soft colors, soft fabrics. It smells like vanilla, just like you always do when you come into the shop. His eyes lock briefly on a well-loved sewing machine covered in stickers with a project still under the needle. You must have been working on it before he got here.

Did you mean to leave your bra hanging on the back of that chair right by the kitchen? Lacy and lilac. He’ll have to remember that for some other time. Maybe your birthday.

“Let’s ‘ave a look.” He sighs, knees popping as he crouches in front of the sink. It’s a fucking mess, that’s for sure. At least you figured out how to turn the water off.

“Pipe’s busted.” He says. “I can seal it but it’ll take a sec.”

“Okay.” You murmur.

Simon sighs as he turns onto his back to get a better look. He doesn’t miss the way you stare blatantly at his midsection as his shirt rides up. He might adjust some to expose just a bit more.

You really are the least subtle thing in the planet, aren’t you?

“Can you come hold the light f’me, luv?” He points to the toolbox.

“This one?” You ask, as if it isn’t the only flashlight in the box.

“Yeah.”

“Like this?”

“Yup.” At first he expects you to sit silently so he can concentrate, but he quickly realizes that was far too presumptuous.

“Do you have a girlfriend, Si?” You ask quietly.

He huffs. “No.”

“Oh.” You chew your lip. “You seem like the kind of guy that would.”

Simon has never heard a bigger misread in his damn life but he’ll take it as a compliment, he supposes. “Why do you ask?”

“Cause this is boyfriend work and you’re good at it.”

Simon tries to see your logic - he really does - but he just has no clue how those things are even remotely related. Sure, guys fix things for their girlfriends but calling it ‘boyfriend work’ when anybody with two cents could do it is a bit silly. More than, if he’s honest. He just grunts in response, at a total loss for how to respond.

Simon looks down at you. The way you kneel as your cleaving spills out of your tiny tank top - one of many you insist on wearing so often. He can give into temptation just a little bit, right? “Gonna need you to get closer, doll.”

“Oh!” You scoot forward until your knees brush his side. So ready to listen. Cute.

“Can you lean in a bit?”

“Like this?” You lean forward, chest pressing against him while your hand splays over his midsection for balance. Fucking hell.

“Perfect. Good girl.”

It’s bold and a bit uncoordinated even for him. Something Johnny would try. The purposeful choice of words seems to go right over your head. Instead you blush and smile, shifting your hips just a bit. Your chest pushes further into him. So soft.

Fuck.

You’ll be the death of him. Thank god you’re too unobservant to notice that he’s rock fucking hard.

He’s already done with the sink by the time of this little exchange, but he pretends to tighten some useless bolts anyway just to keep you against him a little longer before shooing you away. It’s cute, the way you scramble to get out of the way. Simon turns the water back on before standing, and gesturing toward the sink.

“Give it a try, luv.”

A little furrow forms in your brow as you step forward to turn it on, crouching and standing to make sure the leak has stopped. You turn the faucet off and whip your head around with a grin.

He’s pretty sure you burst an eardrum with the pitch of the squeal you let out, bouncing over and tightly wrapping your arms around his waist. “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

“It’s no pro-“ he cuts off as you push up onto your tip toes and press a kiss to his cheek. He can’t help but bark out a laugh. Little minx.

“Oh, I got some lipstick-“ You reach up to smudge it off but he bats your hand away. He’ll wear it back to the garage and show off the kiss he got. Johnny’s going to absolutely fume.

#answered #simon ghost riley #call of duty #ghost cod #cod x reader #ghost x reader #cod #simon x reader #simon riley #simon riley x reader #fem reader #mechanic au

[scar-lie]

The remaining of you [Natasha]

Summary : Dealing the aftermath of the scene Natasha dreaded to come sooner in her life

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x Fem ! Reader, Mom ! Natasha x Daughter! Romanoff

Warning : shouting, crying, mention of death, scared little Romanoff, torture, nightmare, I thinks that's

Word count : 2,514

No one has permission to repost my work anywhere, if you see it please let me know.

“What is your problem, Nat?! You can't just drop her off just like that, like she's nothing.” Wanda screamed at the red head, whose head was low, taking a deep breath and placing her hands on the table in the kitchen.

 "Wanda, please, not now,” Nat whispered, swallowing the lump on her throat. But Wanda’s not having any of her shits anymore; she's tired of seeing how the little redhead heart broke every time Nat refused to do anything with her.

"No, Natasha, I’m not gonna let you throw her like garbage anymore; enough was enough; that girl is trying to at least have your attention, even for a second, but you always rejected her; you don't even spare her even a glance, and it broke her heart.” Saying Wanda was furious was an understatement. She took the girl under her wings a week when Natasha and Yelena brought her in, seeing how the baby was craving some affection and skin-to-skin contact.

"Wanda, please, it's not that easy.” Natasha was thankful that most of the Avengers are on mission and some run their own errands, leaving her, Wanda, and the 5-year-old girl in the compound.

“What Natasha? It is not easy for you to show a little affection to your daughter. You have 3 years, Natasha, 3 years to pull yourself together, 3 years that she's under my wings to protect, to love, admire, care for, and to be a mother to her. She's just a little girl, Natasha, and she's craving her mother's attention. Why can't you give her that? ”Natasha saw the hurt in her eyes, and she knows that it's not only Wanda's emotion she's showing but also the little girl too.

“I want to, Wanda, ok, I really do, but I can't, ok, I just can't,” Natasha shouted, looking up at Wanda with tears in her eyes.

“I want to cuddle her, kiss her, bond with her, spoil her, sing to her, or tell her story. I want to be Wanda. I really want to be a mother to her, but I just can't…….I-I” Natasha shook her head, wiping her tears that were now falling. She knew how her daughter was hurting; she heard every cry; she knew she always knew.

“Then do it; love her; show her that she matters to you because she will not love you or be there bothering you for your attention forever. Don't take her for granted, Natasha; you have a precious girl who loves you more than life itself; don't waste it.” Wanda stands tall in her spot, getting strong for the kid and not cave in and comforting her; she has to do it for the sake of the little girl who's sleeping upstairs.

“Don't let your insecurities get the best of you again; don't push her away like you did with Y/N; if you really love Y/N, you will take care of that little girl you two made; don't let history repeat itself.” Wanda quickly got cut off by Natasha's sudden outburst, with tears streaming down her face.

“You wanna know the reason why? Huh? That's the reason why I can't look at her; I can't be with her because every time I look at her face, all I can see and think about is Y/N, how she lay in that fucking bed unresponsive, how I didn't protect them, that I let her alone with an open window for my enemies to attack freely, and I blame myself for what happened, because if I could just be brave and don't let these thoughts get the best of me, I should have been there to protect them, or I should be the one laying in my own fucking blood, not her.” Natasha then punched the cabinet beside her, wanting to let the emotions out.

“I can't, Wanda, ok, because that day keeps flashing in my mind when I look at her eyes. She reminded me of how stupid, reckless, and selfish I am. Because of me, her mother got killed, and she got kidnapped right after she was born.” Wanda frowned, looking at Natasha with sympathy, so Natasha shook her head, not wanting her pity.

"Don't, Wanda, please don't look at me like that; I don't need your pity, Wanda.” They quickly got interrupted with the cute little voice in the entrance of the kitchen, making both of them look up in the direction.

“Auntie Wanda? ”The little girl whispered, clutching her big husky dog stuff toy that's a little big and taller than her, looking at her auntie with doe teary eyes, pout lips, and her cheeks and tip of her nose are red until she saw the redhead in the room, making her feel small and want to hide, so she scooted to the side, trying to hide in the small cabinet, only the head peeking out to look at her auntie Wanda.

"Oh, sweetheart, what happened? Why are you hiding there? ”Wanda softly talked, walking to the scared little girl, and sat on her heels to be on the same level as the little girl. She quickly wrapped her arm around her auntie, sniffling, and still had a strong grip on her stuff toy, so Wanda took her in her arm, one hand rubbing her back while she cried and one arm under her bump, and swayed her back and forth to comfort the little girl.

“I-I had a bad dream,” the little girl mumbled, soaking her aunt’s shirt.

“What dream is it? Can you tell Auntie Wanda what a bad dream it is? ”She nodded, looking at her auntie and wiping her tears, then resting her head on her auntie's shoulder while playing with the neckline of Wanda's shirt.

“I-I saw blood and bad guys,” Wanda giving her a reassuring smile to continue.

“And……and they took and I saw this fat old guy; he-he said I-I would stay with him from now on, and-and I saw dead body besides him,” the littleredhead cried again, seeing the woman lifeless, not knowing it's her mother she saw.

“Is it the same old guy and the same woman you saw?”Wanda asked softly, looking at Natasha, who has a defeated look on her face and a mixed emotion. She truly can't read Natasha at the moment.

“Yes, the beautiful woman with Y/H/L Y/H/C and arrow necklace, then the guy has glasses and white hair.” This makes Natasha clench her jaw and fist, knowing who the person her daughter is talking about, and she's afraid that the scene is that night her world will stop.

"Shhh, it's ok, sweetheart. You're here with me. You're safe now. He's not going to take you. It's ok.” Wanda gives Natasha a small smile, then goes up to their room floor to comfort the little girl and put her to sleep, leaving Natasha alone in the kitchen with her thoughts.

Natasha is jealous of Wanda. Yes, she's jealous of how Wanda can naturally take care of her daughter, how she loves Wanda, and how they both bond and do everything together. She's  pretty jealous because she wanted a daughter; that's her one dream—a daughter with you.

So Natasha goes to the gym again to get all of her frustration out of her body and mind, to block everything that's bothering her, and maybe, just maybe, it will block the nightmare she has had since your death.

"No, no, please, don't hurt her. You got me, ok, hurt me instead. Just please don't hurt them,” Natasha begs the faceless woman in charge of guarding her. She's strapped down to the chair in the corner of your room where you're peacefully sleeping with your 8-month pregnant belly. You look peaceful and gorgeous.

But all the begging is useless because four women enter the room, and Dreykov is mockingly smiling at her. She hates it so much, but she didn't think of that; her mind and eyes are in your sleeping body.

When the four women approach you and the three women pin you down, it makes you awake in panic. They made sure you didn't move much, and the other one proceeded to slit open your stomach, making two big cuts, one horizontal and one vertical.

This makes you scream in pain, with tears running down your face because of the unbearable pain you are experiencing. You can feel her hands moving through your insides, slicing you open. You tried to break free to save you and your daughter from them, but you are no match for them; they are strong and can kill you in a second.

“NOOOOO!!!! PLEASE STOP IT! Please, please, I’ll do anything. Stop hurting her, stop hurting them.” Natasha screams, trying to break free from the restraints to try and save you both, but all she can do is watch you suffer from the hands of Dreykov, where she also watches how he takes her right after they cut the umbilical cord.

She watched how they just left you laying in your own bed, bleeding and unable to move or breathe. She watched how life drained out of your eyes, how the color of your skin turned pale, but how you looked at her in the eye while you were dying. 

“Y/N? No please, no don't leave us please, no no noo please, no don't take my baby away no please.” Natasha keeps screaming, crying, and begging, but it's all no use; your dead in front of her, eyes still open, and your daughter is taken away. She's left there in the chair, feeling every pain.

“Wake up, wake up, Ms. Romanoff,” the little red head shouted, shaking Natasha violently. The other few attempts she made to gently wake her up didn't succeed, so she shook and slapped her to wake up.

“NOOOOOOO! ”Natasha screams, sitting up, beads of sweat rolling down on her face while she's panting, looking around the room until her eyes land on the little redhead who's now on the floor barefoot, head down, and nervous.

She got scared when Natasha suddenly jolted up, thinking that Natasha would hit her or shout at her, so she quickly climbed down, head low and nervous, so she kept taking small steps backward.

This didn't go unnoticed by Natasha, so she took a deep breath, closing her eyes, and Wanda's words kept echoing in her ear: “She will not love you or be there bothering you for your attention forever. Don't take her for granted, Natasha.”

And seeing her own daughter get scared and afraid to be near her is heartbreaking. She knows that sooner or later, her daughter will slip away, so she quickly gets out of bed, going to her daughter, but the little girl quickly backs away when she hears her footsteps.

So Natasha stopped, kneeled down, and carefully reached her arm out with a small smile. This made the redhead look up at the hand and up to her mother's face. Seeing a small smile made her butterfly fly in her stomach, but she was still skeptical; she didn't know Natasha, so she kept staring at her outstretched hand.

“Hey, it's ok, I’m not going to hurt you or scream,” Natasha softly said, making eye contact with her daughter. This brought her to tears, seeing your face on her daughter even though she had Natasha’s fierce red hair, green eyes, and button nose, so she quickly wiped it away for her sake.

“Wh-why are you crying?”Little Redhead asked, stepping forward and reaching out to wipe away the tears that keep running down her face, so Natasha chuckled to cover up the crack in her voice. 

“Nothing; I-I’m just happy and sad at the same time,” she said, giving the little redhead a genuine smile. She was happy that she got how caring you are.

“Can I give you a hug? ”She asked innocently, making Natasha admire her, analyzing every detail on her face, and the silence made the little girl a little bit nervous, thinking that she didn't want hugs.

“Auntie Wanda said if I saw someone's sad, I should ask if I could give them a hug, ca-cause Auntie Wanda said it always works because my mommy used to do it before.” This makes Natasha even fall in love deeper with the little girl, so she quickly hugged her daughter tight, but not too tight to hurt her.

The little redhead smile, wrapping her arms around Natasha, resting her head on her shoulder, happy that she gets to hug her momma for the first time, so she’s relishing this moment, afraid that in the morning she will ignore her again.

“Are you feeling better? ”She asked innocently, so Natasha nodded, cradling her to her arm, and sat at the end of the bed.

“Yes, yes, I am.” Natasha sat the little girl on her lap and looked at her face.

“You look so much like your mother.” The little girl blushed, smiling and getting a little shy at the compliment.

“Th-thank you, you look pretty,” Natasha chuckled, tucking her little girl's hair behind her ear.

“You should go back to bed; your auntie Wanda’s not going to be happy when she finds out you stay awake at this time,” Natasha whispers, and the little girl looks down, fidgeting with her own hands, a bad habit she gets from you when you're nervous, scared, or overthinking, so Natasha stops her hands and holds them. 

“What's the matter? Has something happened?”The little girl contemplates if she will tell her or not, but she has no other choice cause Wanda got called on an emergency solo mission, leaving her with the redhead, so either she should stay awake all night and wait for Wanda to tell her or she should tell Natasha and have a good sleep.

“I-I had a bad dream again,” she shyly said, still looking at her lap.

“The same one you said earlier? ”The little girl nodded, so Natasha took her chin and made her look at her.

“Hey, it's ok, I’m here…… How about you join me in my bed, and we will sleep next to each other? What do you think??”The little girl eagerly nodded; her eyes went wide, and she had a huge grin on her face. She feels like it's her lucky day, spending the night sleeping next to her mother.

“Will you tell me a story? ”She asked, getting in the middle of the bed, and Natasha got under the cover, leaving space for her daughter and inviting her in so the little girl could quickly snuggle at her.

“Of course,"  Natasha starts to tell her a story about how she and her mother met, making the little girl listen carefully and getting amazed by the story until she’s sound asleep in Natasha’s arm, making her smile, and seeing the little girl sound asleep makes her heart melt, so she wraps her arm around her and joins her in a slumber sleep.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanova #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #black widow #black widow 2021 #marvel black widow #natalia alianovna romanova #natasha x you #natalia romanova #mcu marvel avengers #marvel mcu #wanda mcu #mcu #mcu edit #marvel #natasha marvel #wanda marvel

[novathestarrygalaxy]

More than Friends [Park sunghoon x Female Reader]

Word Count: 5,482.

Warnings: None

Themes: Fluff, Childhood best friends to lover

Now Playing:I Fell In Love With My Best Friend

Sunghoon has always been the quiet type. Maybe not that type where he's too shy to approach someone, rather, he's that type who is happy with the friends he found at the playground 12 years ago and not looking for anyone new. With the exception of two, all his friends have been with him since kindergarten. Though there's a visible age gap in the friend group, they somehow managed to become the most popular of high school students with their charm. Sunghoon is content with his friends and enjoys their company. The only annoying things in his life are the crazy fangirls (he never thought high school guys could have those) and mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Since he had seen the crazy fangirls drooling all over him, any interest in dating or pursuing someone vanished in an instant. Not like he had any before-but the thought had been there. Now even the thought makes him nervous. Dating someone who keeps his hair in her locker? Nah, he'd pass.

Truth be told, he's more interested in enjoying his high school life with his friends rather than spending it with some girl who would get jealous if he even looks at another girl. And he's speaking from experience. That was his first and last relationship, which only lasted for two weeks. And it hadn't ended there like he expected or wished. The girl had some crazy antics up her sleeves, which he only realized later when he found a tweet of hers about how he had used her and dumped her. Though all her tries failed, since it was known around school that Sunghoon is a sweetheart to everyone. He wouldn't do something horrible to a girl. Plus, everyone knew how much of a crazy fangirl Tessa was for Sunghoon, so nobody bothered to believe her.

Currently, he is trying to get through a series of math and physics homework their teacher assigned for them over the weekend.  He is over at his best friend Jake's house, eating ice cream and expressing his frustration through chewing the spoon. He heaves a sigh and groans," Jake, please let me copy your homework. I'll pay for the movie tickets next time, I promise." 

Jake looked up at him with a mouthful of ice cream and mumbled something. Sunghoon just rolled his eyes in annoyance. "And how many times have I told you to not talk with food in your mouth?'

Jake gulps down the ice cream and looks at his best friend with a sheepish smile." Sorry, old habits-And how many times have I told you that, no, I won't let you copy off me! You should do your own work and be independent. I'll not always be there to be your cheat sheet. And also, you never pay for the movie tickets. You always promise and forget your wallet at home. I end up paying for us."

Sunghoon sighed, knowing it was useless trying to argue with the boy. Usually, Jake lectures him and after Sunghoon pouts or teases him, he gives up. But when it comes to math and physics, he never lets him copy off and starts to teach and make him understand. Sunghoon is happy with that, since Jake can teach way better than their old Ms.Crane ever could, but he is not in the mood for learning today. Like, who wants to learn for an hour on a weekend? Unbelievable. So when Jake offered to teach him, he straight up turned down offer because even though he teaches well, he would drag the lesson just to talk more about physics. Sunghoon wouldn't like this amazing noon to go to waste with long physics lessons. So he just stuffed his mouth with ice cream and hoping he would arrive at school tomorrow in time to copy off Jay or Heeseung.

As he looked back at his book and tried to make sense of what a scientist from two centuries before said, the door creaked open and Jake's older sister, (Name), walked in.

Jake's sister was older than them by two years, if we are only counting these two. She is in her senior year at high school, only a few months away from graduation. She is undoubtedly the most popular person in their whole school, being both pretty and intelligent. The perfect student, a prefect, an athlete and every teacher's favourite (Though Jake teases her by calling her a 'Teachers' Pet'). Oh, did he mention the school heartthrob? Every freaking guy in the school, except Sunghoon and his friends, had a crush on her. Sunghoon had practically grown up with her, being Jake's best friend and all. She is almost like an older sister to all of Jake's friends. She is known as their Friend Group's Special Guest. She pops up time to time. At this point, she might as well as be considered as a part of their group.

(Name) sat down beside them and, much to Jake's dismay, attacked their huge bowl of ice cream. As she picked up a spoonful of ice cream, she asked,"Too much homework?"

Jake put his hands behind his head in frustration and nodded."Too much homework."

Sunghoon saw a perfect opportunity to annoy Jake and grinned. He whined,"Noona, Jake isn't letting me copy off him."

(Name) chuckled while Jake rolled his eyes and shot him an annoyed look. She playfully shook her head and said,"Jake, why aren't you letting Sunghoon copy off you? It's not like he always does this. One time won't hurt."

Jake scowled."Noona, you don't know, this guy copies off me whenever he comes over, and by that I mean every weekend. He doesn't want to "waste" his precious weekend solving math. And it's not like I never let him copy off me. I just don't let him copy math and physics. And I offered to teach him, but he said that I take too much time to teach someone, and he would rather do anything else than spend his weekend noon listening to me ramble about math and physics." Jake shot Sunghoon a scornful look.

(Name) burst out laughing and threw her head back. She looked at Sunghoon and raise an eyebrow. She teased him with an amused tone,"Is that so, Sunghoon?'

Sunghoon blushed slightly and nodded. He sassily replied,"Well, who wants tpo waster their weekend listening to an hour long math and physics lecture?"

(Name) chuckled and nodded."Hmmm, you do have a point there, Sunghoon. But I have an idea. How about  instead of Jake lecturing you for an hour, I help you with your homework?'

Sunghoon clapped in excitement and nodded, while Jake protested,"Wait, why him? Your my sister, you're supposed to help me with my homework, not his."

(Name) rolled her eyes and said,"Because I know you already can do your homework, you nerd. Plus, I came here to tell you that Mum told you to get groceries."

Jake's mouth widened."Why me? It's your turn!"

(Name) smirked."Oh, I told her that I have an assignment due and I'll do with you guys, so Mum told me to tell you to get groceries, since you're not busy. And I'm pretty sure I can keep Sunghoon company. Right, Sunghoon?"

She tilted her head and winked at him while Jake was sulking, and a smirk formed on Sunghoon's face. This was their secret gesture, which meant it's time to tease and taunt Jake. It wasn't officially said between them; but whenever they teased Jake, she would tilt her head and wink at him. Sunghoon would also reply with a smirk of his own.

Sunghoon kept the smrik and said,"Oh, it's totally okay. I'm sure I'll survive an hour or so without you. Plus, you could also take a small walk outside in the beautiful sunlight."

Jake groaned in frustration and stood up. He glared at them and whined,"It's not fair!'

The two burst out laughing. As Jake gave them an annoyed look and was leaving the room, (Name) called out,"At least you won't have to worry about homework for a while!"

A curse word was heard as the boy slammed the door and left the room. They both burst into laughter again. (Name) clutched her stomach and almost fell over with her chair. Sunghoon threw his head back and banged on the table with his hand. They had, again, succeeded in teasing Jake and making him curse. Making him curse was always a big accomplishment, since the boy was mostly against cursing.

They somehow pulled themselves together and caught their breathes. (Name) looked up at Sunghoon with a smile and asked,"Another success?'

Sunghoon smiled back at her and nodded."Another success."

She sat up straight and looked at empty bowl of ice cream. A groan escaped her lips."That bastard ate the ice cream while we were busy annoying him. Guess he got his revenge some way." With that, she looked at him and gave a pouty look. She said,"Sunghoon, would you please get more ice cream from the fridge, please?'

Sungoon smiled and shook his head."Nope. Not happening. Jake also made me get the ice cream."

(Name) gave him one of her best puppy eyes and whined,"Please, Sunghoon. Won't you do a small favour for your dear noona?"

Sunghoon laughed at her antics and protested some more. But he gave up after a few minutes and went downstairs to get some more ice cream. As he came back, she pulled the bowl out of his hands and grabbed a spoonful of ice cream. Sunghoon sat back down next to her, she offered him his ice cream and he gladly accepted it.

(Name) sat up straight in her chair and said,"So you were having problems with your math and physics homework, right?'

Sunghoon nodded, and she flashed him a smile."How about I help you with your homework? I promise I won't lecture you for an hour like Jake. How does that sound?'

He smiled and replied,"Offer accepted."

(Name) smiled and he showed her the homework. As she started explaining to him, he couldn't help a smile growing on his face. She had always been like this, helping him with his homework. She explained way better than anyone he knew. Sometimes he wondered how a person could be this perfect. She was perfect from everyway; starting from looks to intelligence to personality. He always felt comfortable around her. She always put people at ease. Though she wasn't really an extrovert, she just had a natural way of talking to people. She never made anyone feel uncomfortable in her presence, and everyone loved her. She would always help the friend group out with homeworks and assignments; and as a Junior year student, Sunghoon really appreciated that.

As the sunlight fell on her face while she explained to him, he couldn't help noticing her beauty. She had a unique beauty. Her features might not have been the uncommon, but somehow her beauty seemed ethereal. Currently, it seemed as if the sunlight was showering her with affection; and it just enhanced her beauty even more. Sunghoon's heart fluttered, and his heartbeat fastened. His mind went into a frenzy as he recognized this feeling. The feeling of falling in love might sound like an exaggeration, but he knew it as what it was. The same feeling he felt in middle school towards that one girl who rejected him on the school rooftop.

Sunghoon wondered about their friendship. He had known her since the day four year old him fell down on the playground, and a four year old Jake and a six year old (Name) came rushing to help him up. From then, they'd been inseperable. It didn't matter that she was older than both of them, his bond with them was stronger than he had with any of his other friends. She was the reason he never got more than a week's detention for skipping class. She always covered for all of them. Even after becoming a prefect, she never reported them for skipping classes. Favoritism? Maybe. But she was all about supporting harmless fun. That's one of the many reasons everyone at school loved her.

She and Jake were the ones who took care of his grandma while she was sick. She was the reason he passed his middle school finals while he was seriously sick and in bed. She and all his friends stayed up all night, watching over him in turns. She was the eldest and in high school, so she helped them study for the finals at daytime. She was the one who ran out at 2 A.M, all alone, to get emergency medicines for him while his condition got worse. She had always been there for him, along with all his friends. They were his life. He didn't know what he'd do without them. They are a part of him.

(Name) tapped his shoulder, and Sunghoon snapped out of his trance. She had been calling him for some time now. He scratched the back of his head and flashed her an embarrassed smile, gesturing for her to continue.

As time went on with her helping him with his homework, he found himself getting butterflies time to time. He tried to fight the feeling, but he just couldn't. Eventually, they finished the homework and as they kickbacked on Jake's bed to watch a movie, Jake came back and joined them. Sunghoon felt bad, thinking what Jake would say if he found out his best friend had started developing a crush on his sister. Not something positive, Sunghoon thought. But as the afternoon and evening went on with them watching the movie, he just couldn't help feeling guilty as his feelings didn't seem to go away at all. Rather, they seemed to grow. When he left their house, he turned to them and gave those two a hug, like he had always done before. But hugging (Name) made him flustered, which never happened before. Thankfully, neither Jake nor (Name) noticed his behavior, or he would be even more embarrassed.

The next two weeks at school, he tried to avoid (Name) as much as possible. But that proved to be hard, as she was almost always hanging out with them at lunch and recess. He even stopped going over at Jake's for the weekend, giving the excuse that he had chores to do at home. Jake was visibly bummed out, but it didn't seem like he suspected that Sunghoon was lying. But all his efforts went in vain, as he couldn't avoid her much. He would have to see her everyday at lunch. He couldn't stop hanging out with his friends, or they would've suspected that something was up. Still, he tried to talk to (Name) as ew times as possible. But he just couldn't help noticing everything about her. How she smiled, how she threw her head back while laughing, how her lips automatically formed a small pout when she was surprised, how her lips parted when she was zoning out. Every small thing. His feelings for her only continued to grow.

And his behavior didn't go unnoticed by his friends too, even though he tried his best to act normal around them. They had known him enough to know that something was up. Every sing le one of them asked what was wrong. Jake and Jay looked really worried for him. Ni-Ki Heeseung even cornered him one day at class.

Heeseung walked up to his desk and leaned against it. He crossed his arms as he looked at the younger. He asked,"What's wrong, Sunghoon? You've been acting really weird these days. Everyone's worried about you. Jake even told me that you didn't go over at his last two weekends, which is really unusual for you."

Sunghoon felt guilty. Of course everyone would be worried for him. But that thought had flown over his head. As he realized that he was making everyone worried for him, he felt really mad at himself. He had been a dumbass by not realizing it before.

He didn't want to worry them even further, so he assured Heeseung that he was okay. But the boy didn't look convinced. He kept shaking his head and asking what was wrong. At last, Sunghoon gave up. He sighed. "I'll tell you, okay? But please don't tell the others. At least, not for now."

Heeseung leaned in closer as Sunghoon started explaining. He looked away and said,"I...How do I say this....Okay...The thing is, I have a crush on (Name)."

Heeseung's eyes widened. (Name) was their childhood friend. She had been a part of their friend group since always. Even though she couldn't always be with them, since she was two grades above them, it didn't matter. She always hung out with them at weekends. And when they finally came to high school, their friend group was complete again. But he never imagined Sunghoon having a crush on (Name). He was under the impression that they were like siblings, but it seems like his thought was wrong.

Sunghoon didn't give him a chance to speak and continued to speak."And I've been trying to avoid her, that's why I don't talk as much as I did before when we are with her; which is almost always. I didn't go over at theirs just to avoid her. I don't want to let my feelings for her grow. She probably sees me as a younger brother, and how could I have a crush on her? I just can't face her."

Heeseung sighed. He stayed quiet for a while, before he started speaking."Sunghoon, you do realize that's not gonna work, right? You'll have to tell her sooner or later."

Sunghoon nodded grimly, and Heeseung said,"You need to tell her. Bottling up your emotions isn't gonna work. Even if she sees you as a brother, she won't be mad. I know her. She's not the type to be mad over something like that."

Sunghoon sighed and said,"But I'm scared. Just because she won't be mad, what is the chance she won't be upset? And even if she wants to be my friend even after that, who's to say our relationship will stay the same after that? It might just break apart."

Heeseung nodded. He agreed,"Yes, that might happen. There's no guarantee for that. But you won't know if you don't confess. And who knows, she migt even agree to go on a date with you.

Sunghoon mumbled,"Might."

Heeseung nodded."Might. Yes. But that's better than nothing."

Sunghoon sighed and looked at the older."Sorry, Hyung, I just can't. I hope you don't mind."

Heeseung sighed and nodded."I don't mind. But don't avoid her or us anymore, okay?'

Sunghoon smiled and nodded."Okay,"he said.

Heeseung smiled and patted the boy on the head before going back to his own seat.

Sunghoon gave his words a thought that night and decided not to confess. But he wouldn't avoid her anymore. So he went to Jake's house the next weekend, as he couldn't use the same excuse over and over. As he sat down with him, discussing what they could do (Thankfully there wasn't any homework that day), (Name) entered the room.

Sunghoon tried to keep his expression normal as she chose to sit down right next to him on the bed. She was looking even more beautiful in her eyes, if that was even possible. He thought of saying something to look normal, but (Name) broke the silence first.

"Jake, you left all the dishes at the sink. Mum's not very pleased."

Jake jumped."Oh my gosh, I totally forgot to do the dishes! Is she angry?"

(Name) shook her head and replied,"Not angry, but not very happy either. I suggest you go down and do the dishes right now before her mood gets worse."

Jake nodded and ran out of the room. She chuckled at his reaction and looked at Sunghoon.

Sunghoon was watching this exchange between the two siblings in complete silence with a smile on his face. As he noticed (Name) looking at him, he flashed her a grin. He asked,"Movie night again today? I'll stay over the night."

(Name) nodded, but their was something off with her expression. Sunghoon felt a bit worried when he saw her. But she started talking before he could speak."Yup. Movie night. Horror movie night. I was also planning on taking you both to McDonalds."

Sunghoon grinned, but his grin faded as he saw her expression. He furrowed his brows and asked in a worried tone,"Are you okay?"

(Name) nodded, and he couldn't help feeling even more worried. This type of unenthusisastic reply wasn't usual for her. He asked again,"You sure? You don't seem like your usual self today."

She sighed and rolled over on her stomach. She put her wrists on the bed and propelled her face up with her hands. She looked up at him with a slightly pouty expression and asked him something that completely caught him off guard.

"Are you mad at me, Sunghoon?'

Sunghoon's eyes widened, and he quickly put his hands up in protest."No! Not at all! Why would I be mad at you?"

(Name) sighed again, and the pout on her face just got bigger. She said,"Then why have you been ignoring me for the past two weeks? You don't talk to me like you used to do. It's almost as if you don't want to see me anymore. Did I do something wrong?"

Sunghoon wanted slap himself. He had completely forgotten about how she would feel when he was trying his best to avoid her and not catch more feelings. And she was thinking that she did something wrong and he was mad at her. He felt so angry at himself and felt guilty for making her feel that way. He sighed."Noona, I'm not mad at you. I'm just feeling a little off these days. You know, school and stuff."

(Name) pouted even more."But you talk to everyone else like usual. You didn't even come over the past two weekends. Sunghoon, can you tell me what's wrong?"

He sighed and said,"Noona, I'm sorry, but it's complicated. I'm not mad at you or ignoring you. I'm just in a kind of complicated situation, that's it.'

(Name) looked at him with her brows furrowed."Tell me what's bothering you then. I want to hear about this complicated situation of yours. I might be able to help."

Sunghoon shook his head. He was sure she would be mad at him after hearing what his complicated situation was. It might even not only ruin their friendship, but also his and Jake's. And she probably thinks of him as a younger brother. How could he confess to her?

She saw him shake his head, and her frown deepened. She asked,"Sunghoon, since when do we keep secrets from each other? I thought we were friends. I thought we always shared everything. I know all your secrets, and you know all of mine. You even told me when you tried smoking for the first time and regretted it. Do you not trust me anymore?"

That sad look on her face broke Sunghoon. This was it. He couldn't hide it from her anymore. It might be the end of everything, but he had to tell her. He thought of Heeseung's words, and decided to shoot his shot. It's now or never. He sighed and said,"Okay, Noona, I'll tell you.' It felt weird to call her Noona, which was a first. Even though he was feeling nervous and his mind was screaming at him to not tell her or lie, he continued."You'll probably get mad at me, and I'll understand if you do. But just please listen to me."

(Name) listened to him carefully as a small smile grew on her face, replacing the pout. Sunghoon took a deep breath and said,"N-Noona, I-I like you. Not in a platonic or siblings way, I like you more than that. I want us to be more than just friends. I tried to fight the feeling, but it just wouldn't go away. So I avoided you. I avoided you in every way I can; so that my feelings won't grow. But it didn't help. My feelings continued to grow. You were just too perfect. I'm sorry, and I know this might even ruin my friendship with you and Jake, but I just can't help it. I'm sorry."

Sunghoon was surprised at how organized his words were, since he always had problems expressing his feelings through words. (Name) must've noticed this too, since she looked a bit suprised. He closed his eyes shut and prepared himself for the blow that was about to come.

But that never came. As he opened his eyes, he found her looking up at him with a wide smile. That helped him calm down. It always did. She suddenly laughed softly, and he felt a pink blush creeping up his cheeks. She playfully shook her head and said,"That was it? I was expecting you found out about my obsezsion with knives and got scared."

Sunghoon's eyes widened. He exclaimed,"Obsession with knives?!"

(Name) smiled, embarrassed."My only secret that I never told you, considering you weren't a big fan of knife handling."

Sunghoon shook his head in disbelief, and she chuckled. Her face was a bit red now, and it made her look really cute. He hadn't seen her blush too many times, but it aways made him smile.

(Name) started fidgeting with her fingers in a nervous manner and said with a smile,"And aboutr what you just said...I'm not mad at you. Not at all. It's not gonna ruin our friendship. I feel like it's kind of adorable how you have a crush on me. And...I might also feel the same."

Sunghoon's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He could feel his cheeks burning. He tried to say something, but it came out in stutters."Y-you a-also like m-me?"

(Name) nodded with a small blush. She laughed softly."I thought you saw me as an older sister, so I also didn't say anything. I was kinda internally beating myself up for feeling this way towards you."

Sunghoon also laughed."Really? I was also bashing myself internally."

She nodded with a smile."Mmmhm. Really."

Sunghoon couldn't help the smile on his face growing as he tried to speak, but she spoke before him. She flashed him a smile and said,"Ice cream date tomorrow evening?"

Sunghoon gave her a boyish grin and nodded."Ice cream date tomorrow evening."

(Name) smiled and leaned in close to him. As she saw his eyes widen and his face getting redder, but no signs of protest, she finally kissed him on the lips. Sunghoon kissed back, feeling really embarrassed and happy at the same time. She liked him back and they were going out!

As he wrapped his arms around her and she pulled him closer, the door burst open and a happy Jake entered."Guys, I've finished the dishes! Let's-"

He froze in his tracks as he saw the two of them."What the actual f-"

They had also frozen, but as soon as (Name) recovered from the initial shock, she threw a pillow at his way, not letting him finished his sentence. Sunghoon felt his cheeks grow even hotter, to the point they were burning. Jake yelled,"Ahh why would you throw the pillow at me?! And what are you guys doin-"

Another pillow hit his face, this time thrown by Sunghoon.

Sunghoon dived his face in (Name)'s neck in embarrassment from being caught by his best friend while kissing his older sister. She pulled him closer and yelled at her brother,"Can't you knock?"

Jake yelled back,"Why would I? Since when did we knocked while one of us wasn't alone in the room? And stop throwing these damn pillows at my face!"

They both burst out laughing and (Name) playfully rolled her eyes."I guess you have a point."

Jake pointed at Sunghoon and asked,"And what on earth are you guys doing?"

Sunghoon hid his face even more in her neck in embarrassment while she stroked his hair. She glared at her brother and said,"Don't you have eyes? And you're embarrassing Sunghoon. Look how red his face is."

Sunghoon whined in protest. Jake rolled his eyes and sat down next to them. He shook his head in disbelief."Since when this has been going on? How come I didn't know my best friend was in love with my sister?"

(Name) curled her lips and replied,"Since today, And it will go on."

Jake pulled Sunghoon from his hididng place and shook him with every word he said."Why. Didn't. You. Tell. Me. You. Bastard."

Sunghoon felt a little dizzy from all the shaking and pushed the boy away. He scratched his neck in embarrassment and said,"I thought you'd be mad...so...'

Jake shook his head in exasperation. He said," Mad? Oh boy, I'm mad at you. But not for falling for and kissing my sister. For not telling me you bastard! I am your best friend and you didn't tell me that you have a crush on my sister!"

They both burst out laughing as Jake stared at them in disbelief. He was still pretending to be mad, but as the corners of his mouth twitched, they saw a small smile was slowly forming on his face. He still said in a angry tone,"You'll pay for the movie tickets the whole year, Sunghoon. That's what you get for not telling me."

Sunghoon smiled and nodded. This was a way better price than he thought he would have to pay. He could deal with that. Plus, he was sure Jake would go back to paying after a month or two. So no worries.

Suddenly, another thought crossed Jake's mind. He grabbed a pillow and started hitting them with with it. He yelled,"And this is for throwing pillows at me!"

Sunghoon laughed as (Name) also grabbed a pillow and attacked her brother. As their fight went on, he also grabbed a pillow and joined them. All of them ended up with torn pillows after the fight, with cotton flying all over the room. Jake and (Name) looked at each other with wide eyes, and all three of them burst out laughing. As (Name) blew away a few cottons from Sunghoon's hair, he felt as if he had never been more happy and content. He knew from that moment, with his friends and possibly future girlfriend, he wouldn't have to worry about anything ever again.

And when they started dating from the next day, nobody was happier than Jake and Heeseung. Heeseung boosted around in the friend group that he already knew about Sunghoon's crush on (Name). Knowing that, Jake only got more pissed and demanded two whole years of movie ticket payment. Now Sunghoon knew that he would have to pay the for tickets at least for the next six months. He was seriously worried for himself now. It is the only problem he's currently dealing with now. And since Jake doesn't have to pay, he insists on taking Sunghoon and (Name) to watch a movie every weekend. Sunghoon had hoped that (Name) would tell her brother off, but she seemed to be enjoying the free movies every weekend. At least she insisted on paying for every date they went on, or he would've gone bankrupt by now. He can only hope now that he would still have enough money to buy his friends and girlfriend birthday and Christmas presents.

#enhypen #sunghoon #best friends to lovers #fluff #enhypen fluff

[laurfilijames]

"I'm gonna say something. Are you listening?"- Frankie "Catfish" Morales, Triple Frontier

Good. Thanks Frankie.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately.

About fandom in general, interactions or lack thereof, how something you can feel so happy and passionate about can make you sad at the same time.

The idea of no longer sharing my fics has also been something that's crossed my mind on numerous occasions, but at the end of the day I WANT to share them. I am proud of them and I figure if they make me this happy, I hope they can make someone else happy too.

I continue to trek on, trying to compartmentalize my feelings and press on, creating fics I think others will enjoy as well, and praising the gorgeous man who plays gorgeous characters whose stories I love to change or extend.

Recently, I've felt guilt. Guilt that I haven't been creating and posting enough things for you to indulge in. And then I remember that in the last 4 weeks, I wrote and posted 3 fics.

3 fics where a majority of the reblogs are my own, and most of the notes are likes.

I'm feeling this way because of the lack of interaction. I'm not blaming or pointing fingers or trying to extend any guilt to any of you (and thank you endlessly to those who do reblog and comment and send messages and have conversations about them 💗) But I can safely say that this is a widespread issue across all fandoms alike.

It's disheartening. People leave and give up and have their creativity crushed to the point they no longer participate or share their wonderful art.

I came across a post that I reblogged yesterday that added another level onto all of this.

Artists and writers having to "market" and promote their work in hopes it'll help drum up excitement for what they have coming up.

As if taking the time and energy to create that fic of piece of art isn't enough, now we have to work like a full marketing team in hopes we will get a few more reblogs or comments.

I have seldom participated in tag games where you share snippets of WIPs etc because more often than not, the response to them are *crickets*. It's embarrassing and gives off that "no one is interested so why bother sharing it" vibe.

We shouldn't have to work that hard to get feedback on the things we share.

I know, and respect, that some people experience comment anxiety, but I promise you that if you're able to, whether it be a string of emojis or keysmashes or even a gif, you will be making a difference.

This happened to me yesterday.

Right when I felt like it's all fruitless, someone swooped in with a comment that gave me hope and reminded me why I do it. And it was on my least popular (and personal favourite) series to boot.

Because of this simple act of communication, my hope and motivation has been restored.

Now I know I'm going to get people saying "you should write for yourself" (I do) and I shouldn't rely on others to keep me motivated (I don't, I have Charlie Hunnam for that) but it's such a key component to all of this and I think most creators can agree to that.

So please, for the love of fandom and the things you love (the actors, the characters, the shows or films) PLEASE INTERACT WITH THE ARTISTS AND WRITERS WHO CREATE INCREDIBLE ART AND FICS FOR THEM.

You may not realize what an effect you have, but I promise you, you do, and it may even help save your favourite artist from abandoning it all.

#on fandom #commenting #reblogging #writing #sharing #laur is thinking out loud here

[peniscat]

i know that jesse armstrong is more than capable of knowing when to end a series but the way it was announced that season 4 is going to be the last one kind of made me feel like the whole process behind it is a bit sketchy. they only revealed that s4 is the last one only a month before the premiere, even after posting teaser trailers that never even hinted at the season being the last, and even the cast got the news only during the table read for the final episode. the promotion of season 4 has been disappointing especially when compared to season three. while the actors are not the ones writing the show, most of them have been very clear that they could have seen the show go on for another season and their disappointment over the show ending has been clear as day. while an ambiguous ending will be a very fitting end to succession and i am not against it, i am definitely wondering if the decision to finish with season 4 was something that developed during the filming process instead of it being a clear guideline throughout the creative process of season 4.

#succession #idk my biggest complaint is not telling the actors. like i get it that it might have impacted their performance but still #it is their job and definitely a big and meaningful project for all of them. and if they got to know only in january or something??? #at that point there was already teaser trailers coming out and basically no hints of the season being last. ofc i don't know what goes on #behind the scenes but personally i am a bit annoyed sdjhfdsf #i just keep remembering that one quote from jesse where he said that they're gonna keep going as long as it keeps being fun. huh. #maybe i'm just bitter because my favorite show is ending. but i am not a fan of how this season being last has been handled #but i am glad that at least the reviewers think the season is great and i am incredibly excited to see what happens!!! i just wish the #annoucement had given everyone more time to come to terms with the ending #also this has been bothering me for weeks now and i wanted to get this out of my system before the premiere. please enjoy

[skrunksthatwunk]

found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know. #at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow? #it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker. #i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time. #but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him. #im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more? #just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him. #she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on. #she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him? #so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea. #but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

[izzymalec]

hey besties!! i've finally caved and starting today (saturday, 15. july) i'll slowly but surely (more surely than slowly) post things from other media as well 💔

everything will be tagged w the media name + the #not sh (that geniuely nobody has blacklisted but it's for me), if there are any triggers etc pls let me know so i can tag accordingly!!

this also means that my sideblog @deemacs will no longer be active bc anything that would've gone on here will now be on main

also this itty bitty change will be accompanied by tiny little changes in my (v faithful) icon and header (these aren't actually related, it's just good timing honestly)

thank u for reading and happy tumbling!!! 🩷🩷🩷

#txt #saskia talks #not sh #i'm mainly changing my icon bc i got a new laptop a whole back and i'm so so bothered by how the skin colour looks on there #and i'm bothered by how the legs disappear in the purple in the header #and how the colours of the icon and header don't match #so it's mainly those things changed i'm taking the opportunity #bc i kind of identify w those things on here so they're staying akdjsksj #the multifandom change is bc i'm more on here again and idk now i kinda want to enjoy it fully on the blog i love the most?? #and not just sideline that enjoyment if that makes sense #like the shadowhunters content will he tagged the same it's still the main thing #but i want to have the full fun with the rest as well #and idk i'm just not feeling the side blog life for other fandoms anymore #i first wanted to do this on august 6 bc that would have been my 11 year anniversary on this webiste #but i don't want to wait also it's ridiculous bc it's not actually a big event or anything lmao #but yeah!! now the second week of may isn't as special anymore (kidding it still is the most special week of all) #+ explanation for the change: i just feel like this blog has become more personal to me again (?) (due to being more on here probably) #and it just feels right to make it more personal with current interest as well #shadowhunters is so deep in my heart tho i'm not getting rid of that #but i want to share other things as well idk i'm probably repeating myself nvm good night #not good night i drafted this at like midnight few days back but meant to post it much earlier today but uh here we are!! #new icon and header drop in like an hour ig i gotta go cook & eat and watch wwdits

[permanentreverie]

just a quick lil rant before i head to bed

#somethin that’s really bothered me these last few days #i have one irl person that i consider my friend and i hang out with her. but if i wasn’t the one suggesting we go out and do stuff #i don’t think she’d bother with me at all #which. we have fun together. at least i do. #but thinking about this whole year. everything we’ve done has been my suggestion #and it’s not like we’ve hung out every single weekend. she’s had plenty of opportunities to invite me to stuff #but she will blatantly do stuff with her other group of friends then tell me about it #like she mentioned she went and saw the eras movie and was excitedly telling me all about it. #and damn. that’s an experience i would have loved to have. #and she KNOWS i love taylor it’s not like she thought i wouldn’t like going. #she also has openly discussed with her other friend (who is a swiftie) about getting tickets for taylor. right in front of me. ngl it just!? #hurt not to be included i guess!? i mean this isn’t the first time i’ve had a friend openly go to an artist i love with someone who’s not me #idk am i just being stupid and selfish!? #but like. during the summer (a month i was really struggling) i kept on seeing if we could meet up and talk and catch up #before this get together at the end of the month with a few people. and that never turned out she kept on saying she was busy #understandable. but the day of the get together i was chatting with her friend and she mentioned how she and her had hung out like 30 times #that month. #and like i went bowling with said friend last week (it was my suggestion) and we were hanging out and i mentioned how now that our schedules #have opened up id love to get together more - even if she was getting groceries and wanted someone to come along. and she said that yeah #that this week would be good to hang out. and i told her to just contact me. but i highly highly doubt she will text me. #so should i just take the hint and drop her!? #and i live a little farther away but i’m always the one driving to her. idk if that makes a difference but like #idk it’s just the feeling of being expendable and someone’s second choice and never their first #which is a feeling i’ve grown up with so i’m not a stranger to it #but i’ve actually lost sleep over it this last little bit wondering like what it is about me that repels people that makes them not care #like i’ve had girls i’ve loved with my whole fucking heart and would lay down my life for them and i didn’t even make their top 5. #so let’s just say this is an issue that has been hurting me for a while #idk like i’m not trying to sound emo but this kind of hurt and loneliness is just something i have to resign myself to #and face the reality that i’m not as important to people as they are to me sometimes.

[nuclearnyx]

people who don't use the tags to be sad and vent are so powerful lmao couldn't be me

#real talk it has been BAD lately #the POTS has gotten MUCH worse lately #for example. yesterday i had to call someone to bring me a sports drink because sitting up in bed made me almost lose consciousness #like i am DREADING leaving the house because im having minor-ish episodes at least twice a day #and the new scary part is that when i have an episode i cant speak well #i can say a few words at a time but thats it #which is scary and also frustrating because people tend to freak out and ask a lot of questions and its hard to answer #and it sucks because i know i cant do certain things when im home alone anymore #like showering (huge trigger) or cooking (also trigger sometimes) because its honestly kinda dangerous now #its very humbling to have to lie down on the floor because painting for 20 minutes triggered an attack #and a lot of the people around me arent handling it well so thats a whole OTHER set of issues #im honestly thinking of writing out a 'what to do during an episode' plan for the people in my family to make it easier #and another 'how we explain this to people' plan because everyone is giving different accounts and kinda minimizing to not scare people #which i get because it all SOUNDS very scary and we dont want people to be worrying (and frankly bothering us about it) #but if i show up to an event or whatever and have an issue or i start using a mobility aid (maybe?) they'll get weird #ANYWAYS this all sucks but also im hanging in there (and yes my doc is on top of this dont worry) #its going to be really interesting to see how things play out over the coming weeks and months

[mikumadds]

guys im curious do u track your periods or just guess when they might come? like do yall use apps or use a calender or something? open to all genders & body types of course! (just to be sure i want to mention this includes trans men, trans women, nonbinary, intersex, etc btw!)

#madds.txt #i know this came out of nowhere but i randomly thought of it #and im asking because I don't track my period like at all. i guess by trying to remember when I last had it #but my period has always been irregular so I don't bother trying to figure out the exact week it will happen or whatever #also im angry about it. like i didnt ask for the damn menstruation cycle and now you want me to measure the damn thing. what the hell! #just my personal feelings #ive talked to some people who say they track it and stuff #its probably the healthier thing to do tbh!! #and then you can be better prepared!! #i just try to have like ibuprofen and pads on me at all times #i read that trans women get periods too because they get cramps and tummy issues and stuff I think. what estrogen does to a mf

[butimnotseventeen]

.

#I’m having a really hard time atm and I just need to vent somewhere #I’m in so much pain!!!!!! and the scary thing is I know the physical pain is covering up all my trauma stuff #so if I can get to a better place with pain I’m gonna get hit with a bucket load of trauma #and I haven’t had therapy in weeks bc my therapist has been off and I want to message her again to figure out when my next session is #but I also don’t want to bother her #and my disability benefits are being re assessed again and even though I’m actually worse health wise now than the last time I was assessed #I’m still scared they will rule me more able and take money away and then I’d have to appeal and it’s all just fucking the worst #the uk disability benefits system is fucking evil so many people have died bc of it #and I am so screwed without it #if you’ve read this far thank you I hope nice things happen for you #anyway it’s my birthday next week and I’m gonna have one drink and probably watch a Taylor swift tour on the big tv

[szczek]

i have never felt this much angry i’m tearing up and want to murder my dad

#how dare he say that to me #all i’ve been doing these past two weeks was declittering the house #i have cleaned out the entire bathroom and the goddamn kitchen so that theres space and everything has its own place #and there’s no expired things #and now there is an actual space to put groceries inside #and today i wanted to do the komoda in our dining room which btw doubles as his home office but also is on the middle of the goddamn house s #so you Have to go through it to go anywhere right #and he just asked if i’m finishing the cleanup now so i sad No cause i work 6 more hours - so after work #and he has the halls to get mad at me that i half as stuff and that the vacuum will be out here for the next two days cause i won’t do it #and that i left a crystal vase on the dining table for two weeks now and haven’t touched it like I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO DO EVEYTHING ALL AT #once okay!!! i will do it don’t talk to me like that #and going back to the dining room being his office it means every flat space is covered with his documents and i mean every #it’s the messiest shot ever cause he doesn’t think to keep it clean #and i’m the one that makes the mess #and now he tells me not to throw things cause i put down the remote loudly like i will do as i freaking please cause i’m furious and he has #ruined my good mood #all he has done after me cleaning is be mad that he can’t find things like i haven’t moved anything nowhere he just doesn’t even bother to #search if he doesn’t see smth immediately he gets mad and says we always hide stuff from him to annoy him #absolutely no gratitude from either of my parents i hate it here more often than not

[transpuppyprince]

.

#TW FOR DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS DYSPHORIA SELF HARM ANXIETY #i’m doing. really bad right now. well not /really/ bad i guess #but really bad in comparison to how i’ve been doing for a while. #my dysphoria is out the roof and im feeling dysphoric about things that never bothered me before (like lack of facial hair) #but i know that if i take T without finasteride then my chances of hair loss are really fucking high based on both sides of my family #and i can’t handle that #but that means no facial hair for me. #and i got that feeling bc i saw a guy yesterday with curvy hips/ass and nicely shaped but he was still very masculine looking #bc he was strong and had a nice beard and “masc” tattoos #and then on top of dysphoria today my housemate came home a week earlier than what he told me so i wasn’t prepared to see another person #and i hate how uncomfortable i am being around other people but i just. am. #plus my job has cut my hours and i don’t even know if i’m gonna be able to afford bills and i have no savings bc i get paid crumbs #so now i’m worried i’m gonna have to get another job and i really don’t want one bc change terrifies me plus i’ll lose my health insurance #and everything feels out of my control and i’m just not okay and about half an hour ago i picked up my box cutter and got very #close to self harming for the first time in a couple of years and then had a breakdown (didn’t cut at least?) and now i’m here #just screaming into the void in an attempt to deal with it #anyways if you read this far i’m sorry. and also i love you /pl

[cauldroncreations]

Top three things that my key to my parents house is good for now that we have basically no relationship:

1. Opening boxes (and by proxy looking kind of hawt)

2. Getting ear wax out of the covers of my earbuds (this nullifies the hawt)

3. I don't have a third. Self defense i guess ?

#my mom asked if we wanted to come over for easter and we had already made plans w my fiances parents several days prior #and my mom asked like the evening before #so i said we could come over that Tuesday instead #and she said ok #and then tuesday as we are about to head over i get a premonition #and i told my fiance hang on a sec let me make sure she didnt forget #she did lol #and she said 'i only invited u cause it was easter' #and genuinely. she doesn't understand why that is wrong to say lolol #like u complain about not seeing me then admit #that u only invite me over when it is obligatory for holidays #then go out to dinner w ur friends when we already had plans in place #like ok 👍 #this was a couple weeks ago ik but it just has been bothering me #cause apparently she then went and told my sister 'oh i guess the in laws are gonna take priority now 🙄' #well yea cayse i am also a priority to them. like these people that i have known for a little over a year #have helped me far more in my adult life than u ever did in my childhood #and they care about my interests and hobbies and making sure i have essentials in my house #even before my fiance moved in #like they care abt me and u don't it is that simple

[sunrizef1]

Girl back home

Pairing: Logan Sargeant x wife!reader

Warnings: cursing (I think)

Authors note: this took forever, but now I can actually work on whiv now that I’ve finished this

Summary: Everyone keeps trying to set Logan up, but no one bothers to ask if he's already got a girl (surprise! he does!)

Word Count: 4.2k (jesus)

“What about her? she’s pretty,” Alex asks as he points at the five hundredth model to walk past the Williams garage that day.

If it hadn’t been his home race, Logan might have walked away an hour ago when Alex’s pointing started but instead, he stayed, choosing to endure Alex’s unrelenting matchmaking.

“No, Alex. I’ve already said no to about 50 other girls you’ve pointed out, what makes you think she’d be different,” Logan groans, his head leaning back to rest against the wall behind them.

Alex purses his lips, a frown on his face, “Why won’t you let me get you a girlfriend?”

Logan pauses to stare at the ceiling of the garage for a second before he turns his head to face the man next to him, “I don’t need a girlfriend.”

“Yeah sure man, I’ve seen you stare quietly at a wall by yourself more times than you’d probably admit. If that doesn’t scream “I need a girlfriend” then I don’t know what does,” Alex shrugs before turning back to face away from his friend, his hand coming back up to point at a pretty-faced blonde girl making her way past the garage, even smiling when she locks eyes with Logan, “Ooh what about her? She seems to like you!”

Logan just hums in response, his eyes closing as he leaves Alex to talk to himself.

In reality, Logan truly didn’t need a girlfriend. He had something even better, a wife. Who also happened to be you. You had met when you were kids and had been in love ever since. You liked to joke that it was love at first sight but every time you said it, Logan would wonder how much of a joke it really was.

You had been there for every step in his career, through the wins and the losses, through karting to Formula racing. So when he proposed after the end of the f3 season in 2020, no one close to you was really surprised.

You got married shortly after, neither one of you wanting a big, flashy wedding. Instead, the wedding was small but still nice, just some close friends and family in attendance. Even Oscar had been there and he made sure to reference the event to everyone who wouldn’t understand when around Logan. He loved to talk about the “party” Logan had in 2020 to the other drivers who, frankly, had no idea what he meant.

When he got his move to Formula One, you were over the moon for him. You didn’t worry about long-distance. You had made it work in the past and you both had total confidence in each other to make it work. You continued your degree in engineering and he continued his career in racing. You tried to make it to races when school would let you, which wasn’t often, and he was more than happy to fly you out when he could.

Logan genuinely loved you more than anything. With that being said, this meant that he did not have the time of day for anyone trying to set him up with the Instagram model of the week who had decided to visit a garage.

But at the same time, he also didn’t feel the pressure to share your marriage with anyone. He didn’t really know any of the other drivers very well and if they wanted to know more about him, they could ask. It’s just that no one ever did.

Except, it seems, when they wanted to set him up.

“Hey, Logan!” A British voice calls out to the American, whose head shoots up at the uncommon voice.

“What’s up, mate?” The blonde asks Lando, pocketing the phone where he had just been texting you to ask about your engineering final.

Lando grins and places a hand on the American's shoulder, raising his voice to be heard above the sounds of the paddock, “I was talking to Oscar and he mentioned something about your love life and something about you being lonely, I don’t really remember what he said but anyway, I’m talking to this girl and she has this friend who I think would be perfect for you.”

Logan’s face drops at the brunette's words, a frown replacing his smile, “I’m cool Lando, thanks though.”

Lando furrows his eyebrows, disbelief written on his features, “You sure, mate? She’s sooooo fine.”

Logan just nods his head in response, backing away from the McLaren driver slowly, “Yeah I’m sure Lando, you have fun thinking about your girlfriend’s friend though.”

Lando doesn’t seem to catch the diss as he just glances up and down at Logan before shaking his head and turning on his heel to head back to his garage. Logan sighs before taking his phone back out of his pocket to see another text from you. A grin breaks out on his face as he sees your name.

Logan hadn’t talked to very many of the drivers on the grid, often feeling on the outs of a lot of conversations. So he’s even more surprised to see Charles Leclerc making his way toward him at a club. A club he had only agreed to come to so he coule be Oscar's designated driver, by the way.

“Eyyy, it’s the American!” Charles says, the alcohol clearly present in his voice. The lights are too dimmed but if they were brighter, Logan would be able to see the lipstick smudges around his white collar.

“Hey, Charles,” Logan replies, scepticism laced in his voice. The Monegasque leans closer to him, the drink in his hand sloshing around in the cup.

“I have something to tell you,” Charles slurs a bit, leaning dangerously before a pretty brunette comes up and grabs him, based on her lipstick shade compared to Charles’ shirt, she had already been more than acquaintances with him before this conversation.

Logan glances at the pair before responding dryly, “Oh no.”

Charles grins before pointing back to where he had come from, a dark-haired girl sitting at the table, “That’s Natalie.”

“Navaeh,” the brunette pipes up to correct Charles as he nods in response.

“Yeah, Nivia. Anyway, she’s a friend of mine and she’s been eyeing you all night, thought you’d want her number.”

Logan rolls his eyes at the very clearly drunk couple in front of him, increasing his headache from the pounding EDM, “What an assumption there Charles. I’m actually good though.”

“What?” Charles asks, squinting to see the blonde under the club lights.

“No thanks,” Logan smiles tightly before moving to step around the couple and probably tell Oscar that either they were both leaving or Oscar was getting an Uber, “You guys have a good night though.”

The couple is already too busy sucking face to realize he’s left.

“I just don’t understand why they keep trying to set me up, I’m perfectly happy with you,” Logan complains to you over the phone a few nights later.

You were sat in your dorm, engineering work strewn across your desk and your roommate at a party somewhere. You were trying to get as much work done as possible before Logan came to Austin for the GP so you could spend the weekend with him.

“I mean, have you told them you’re married?” You ask, trying to stifle a yawn as your hand moves to write down the equation for the problem in front of you.

Logan shakes his head, the movement almost imperceptible through the small phone screen, “Nah, but it’s just that no one’s asked you know? I’m just waiting for someone to say “Hey Logan, you got a girl back home?” Before they try and set me up with some Instagram model they know.”

You smile softly as he talks, his hands moving to mess with his blond hair periodically. He eventually looks back to the screen once he’s done ranting and is met with your smiling face filling his phone screen, “What?”

“I love you,” you say warmly, your grin practically splitting your face.

Logan blushes before laughing and shaking his head to hide the redness on his face, “I love you too. I’ll see you next week yeah?”

You look down at the now-completed homework in front of you. Homework that could’ve taken about 2 fewer hours if you weren’t on call.

“Yeah I’m done with this. I’ll turn it into my professor tomorrow and after that I am free. When do you get in?” You ask, shuffling the papers together and sliding them into your bag before moving out of your chair and flopping onto your bunk, sleep clouding your eyes.

“Uhh,” Logan pauses, glancing at his suitcase. In reality, he was supposed to get in twenty two hours and six minutes from when he hung up the call, his flight leaving in three hours and arriving in Austin after a 16 hour flight and a 2 hour layover in DFW followed by an hour long flight to Austin. He would effectively be arriving about a week before any of the other drivers. Besides maybe Daniel. But he couldn’t say any of that. He wanted to surprise you, especially now that you had no work to do. So instead he just hums, “Next week I think.”

“That’s great, babe,” you yawn, a small smile on your lips at the idea of him being back with you again, “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Yeah?” Logan grins.

You hum, your eyes drifting closed slightly, “Yeah.”

Logan notices your less-than-awake state and finally decides to end the call, “Goodnight, I love you.”

You yawn again, your eyes fluttering shut, “Good morning Logan, I love you too.”

The call ends quickly after and Logan glances at the time, grinning when he sees the 8:24 am displayed on his phone screen. You’d both had to deal with the difference in time zones for so long, you probably had all the time zones memorized. Or at least you remembered enough to call out good morning instead of goodnight while he was in Qatar.

His flight touches down twenty-two hours later and the first thing he does is call you.

“Hey what's up?” It's about 10:30 in Austin and the only thing you were doing was picking up barbeque from this place on the edge of campus that your roommate had been raving about.

“Not much, just bored,” Logan replies, his eyes scanning the background of the face time call for where you could possibly be this late.

You glance down at your phone for a second to do the same, eyebrows furrowing, “Where are you? It looks dark.”

Logan glances around slightly before replying, “In a car,” he wasn't lying, he really was in a car. Just one that was ubering to your campus instead of one with his team in Qatar, “Where are you? It's like 10 pm over there.”

“Just picking up some food,” you reply, eyes looking over the moonlit sidewalk that threads through the well-kept grass that surrounds you.

“This late?”

You laugh, “I slept through dinner.”

Logan smiles before sliding forward slightly when the car stops, “Are you just going back to your dorm?”

You look around quickly, “Yeah it's like a quarter mile back though.” You tighten your grip on the bag in your hand, the plastic having started to slip. Maybe your Ugg slides hadn't been the best choice for this walk but you'd manage.

“Oh yeah I know where you are, I remember eating at that place last time I was there,” Logan pulls his suitcase out of the trunk and tips the driver, checking periodically to make sure you hadn't clocked him.

“Yeah yeah, really good stuff and the owner remembered me today, guess I've been there enough times,” You laugh, starting to move back in the direction of your dorm once again.

By the time you had stopped to readjust the bag of food and your shoes, Logan had already started to speedwalk in the direction of your dorm. As he walks he passes enough drunk college kids to fill the football stadium they had all visited so many times.

You're walking pretty slowly, enjoying the moonlight shining brightly on the campus. Your shoes definitely weren't making you any faster to be fair.

“You turn your assignment in?” Logan asks, hoping you don't notice his eyes darting around the campus in search of you.

You nod, reaching a hand up to rub at your sleepy eyes, “Yeah, he even gave me extra credit for turning it in so early.”

Logan nods absentmindedly and you raise an eyebrow as you watch him do it before his eyes lock on something and he abruptly ends the call, “I've got to go, love you!”

You stand staring at your phone with a confused look on your face for a moment, words dying on the tip of your tongue. Weird.

You shake your head before moving to walk again, Logan's weird actions at the forefront of your mind.

Before you can even take a step, someone calls out your name and you turn quickly to see Logan standing there with the biggest grin on his face.

You gasp and wrap him in a bone-crushing hug warmth spreading through you from his arms. You move to spread kisses all across his face and for a few minutes, you both just stand there, not having seen each other in a few months and taking the time to readjust.

“I missed you,” you mumble into his shoulder, unexpected tears starting to spring from your eyes.

He just sets you down before wrapping a hand around the side of your face, “I missed you too.”

You bring a sweater-clad hand up to wipe away a tear before grabbing the food in one hand and grabbing his hand in the other, starting to lead him back to your dorm.

He grabs his suitcase as you start moving, “Is your roommate here?”

“No, you know how she is. She'll be with her new boyfriend for a few weeks so we're fine,” you wave away his question as you walk toward the building a few hundred feet away.

He smiles in response, “Hope you got enough food for two.”

You just laugh joyously.

A week and a half later, you’re stood in the hotel room Logan’s team had provided him, the room much nicer than your cramped dorm room. You had spent the last 12 days exploring Austin with your husband, making up for the time spent away from each other.

You had accidentally slept through Logan’s departure for the morning, waking up to a text explaining that, with your busy class schedule, he wanted you to get as many days of sleeping in as possible but he had gotten you breakfast and it was currently sitting in the kitchen.

You smiled at the text, appreciating Logan’s thoughtfulness. In the kitchen was a coffee from your favourite coffee shop as well as a McGriddle from McDonalds, which, no doubt, hurt Logan to order considering he wasn’t allowed to eat them.

You quickly ate the food, texting Logan to thank him. He texts back surprisingly quickly, considering he was supposed to be in a meeting.

He filled you in on how his morning had gone before asking when you’d get to the paddock for the race. You replied that you’d be there soon, quickly sliding on a light jacket over your tank top and jean shorts, preparing for the Austin heat.

Considering you had never been in the COTA paddock before, you would rather be in any situation other than your current one. There were about three hours until the race and you had no idea where the Williams garage was. You had gotten in just fine but, for some reason, you couldn’t find the blue of the Williams employees anywhere.

Logan wasn’t answering his phone, which you expected considering he had already been reprimanded for being on his phone during a meeting once this morning. Now you were left by yourself, trying to navigate the busy paddock.

You were somehow in a sea of orange, eyebrows furrowed. You turn in a quick circle, eyes setting on a curly-haired man in an orange polo who you take a few quick steps towards, hoping he can help you with directions.

“Excuse me,” you call out to the man who turns around swiftly, eyes pulling across your figure before landing on your face.

“How can I help you, love?” The man replies, a British accent laced through his voice and a sharp grin on his rosy lips.

You glance around slightly, leaning away from the man’s hungry gaze, “Do you know where the Williams garage is?”

He nods his head but keeps his eyes locked on your face, his smirk unfaltering, “Yeah, yeah, it’s just down that way.”

He points to nowhere in particular, moving to lean against the wall you’re standing near, “What’s your name, darling?”

You have to hide the smirk that tries to escape you at the fact that this man clearly has no idea you were married and also clearly thought you’d be an easy girl to flirt with considering his unwavering confidence.

You tell him your name and a grin breaks out on his face, “Pretty name, I’m Lando.”

Ah, so this was Lando. You had only ever seen him with his helmet on and from what you heard from Logan, his current behaviour made perfect sense. Logan hadn’t talked a lot about the Brit but he had mentioned him a few times considering he was Oscars teammate.

You hum, glancing around amusedly around the garage. You and Lando talk for a few more moments before a shorter figure clasps a hand on his shoulder. You lock eyes with the newcomer, grinning when you see a familiar boy standing behind Lando.

"Hey Osc," You smile at the Aussie. Oscar glances sideways at Lando, eyes shifting across his face before they turn to you. You just smile sweetly at the man who reciprocates the grin back at you.

"Hey," Lando glances confusedly between the two of you at Oscar's response. When Lando's confusion goes on a bit too long, Oscar turns and swings an arm around your shoulder, effectively moving the both of you away from the still-confused McLaren driver.

"I assume you're looking for Williams, then?" Oscar asks, running his free hand through his hair which had already begun to stick to his forehead from the Austin heat.

You hum in affirmation, sliding your sunglasses down your nose as the two of you step into the sun to make your way to your husband's garage.

Oscar makes conversation as he pulls you along, talking to you about how his season had gone and also asking a lot of questions about your engineering classes.

“I’d do a video for you, shock all your classmates,” Oscar says when you tell him you had to do a presentation explaining the engineering behind a piece of machinery and you had chosen a Formula 1 car.

You laugh, shaking your head as you do, “Yeah? I'd take you up on that, but I have a driver who'd be much easier to get a video from.”

Oscar snorts, smiling as you reach the Williams garage, “Lando?”

You roll your eyes as the name leaves his lips, hitting the back of his head with the small bag in your hands, “Don't get me started on Lando. You know he tried to set Logan up with one of his friends?”

Oscar furrows his eyebrows, “What?”

“Yeah, Lando said you told him Logan’s love life was lonely or something like that,” You reply, glancing around passively in search of your husband.

Oscar somehow manages to furrow his eyebrows even deeper, mouth opening and closing in disbelief, “That’s not what I said at all.”

“Tell him that.”

You both walk into the garage after that, you move to make conversation with Benny who’s sat to the side, surprise crossing his face as he sees you.

Oscar, though, spots Logan and makes his way to him quickly. He clasps a hand on the blonde's back who turns to face him with a grin, “What’s up Osc?”

“Lando was flirting with your wife,” Oscar states flatly, trying to push down the grin on his face.

Logan blinks a few times in an attempt to understand what the Aussie just said, “What- why?”

“Don’t think he knew she was your wife, mate.”

Logan rolls his eyes before turning around slightly to resume his conversation with his engineer. He stops mid-turn and swings back around to Oscar quickly, eyes wide, “My wife’s here?”

Oscar laughs at the American's face, stepping out of his line of sight so he can see you conversing with Benny.

Logan grins, sliding past the other boy to step toward you as quick as he can, wrapping his arms around you from behind. Oscar can’t hear what you two say to each other but he can see the love painting your faces as Logan plants a kiss on the top of your head. Benny smiles at the two of you, walking away to let you two talk.

As Oscar leaves the Williams garage, he briefly debates telling Lando you were married, especially to Logan, but he eventually decides not to. He’d figure it out eventually. Also might help to have him learn the hard way.

You sat in the garage for the entire race. But when Logan ends the race in eight, you’re jumping up happily to follow the Williams employee guiding you to where he’ll be.

The moment he’s done being weighed, he runs over to you, pulling his helmet off and unzipping his suit to his hips.

He grasps the side of your face, pulling you to him as he kisses you softly. He pulls away slightly and rests his forehead against yours, lifting a hand to grab the one you have against the side of his face, fingers brushing over your wedding ring.

“Thank you for being here. I love you.”

You can’t help the lovely laugh that escapes you, throwing your head back a bit to escape the heat rising on your cheeks, “I love you too, dork. I’m so proud of you.”

He smiles before leaning to catch you in another kiss.

Lando had finished the race in 4th. Not bad considering who had finished in front of him. He’d already talked to his team so he was now just roaming around, looking for someone to talk to.

He locks eyes on you and takes a few steps toward you before someone comes running past him. He looks over to see Logan grasping your face in his hands before pulling you down into a kiss.

He can’t help but stand in shock for a few moments although he can sense a couple people walking up next to him. He glances beside him to see Charles and Alex, both also staring at Logan in disbelief.

“What the hell?” Lando asks, to no one in particular. Luckily, or unfortunately, for him, someone has an answer.

“Are you lot staring at Logan and his wife?” Lando doesn’t look over to catch the amused look on Oscar’s face as he asks the question. But Alex does, and he furrows his eyebrows at the younger man.

“Sorry?” Alex asks the Aussie who just smiles and turns back to the couple, still smiling in each other's embrace.

Charles is the first one to notice anything and he smacks the other two on the head when he does, “They’re both wearing wedding rings.”

Alex blinks for a second, caught in the strange reality that he hadn’t noticed his teammate wearing a wedding ring the whole season. He pulls out his phone to go through old photos and low-and-behold, Logan’s wearing a ring in every single one.

“Jesus Christ,” Lando mumbles, running a hand through his damp curls, “I flirted with her.”

“Yeah,” Oscar nods, hands on his hips, “I probably wouldn’t talk to Logan for a while if I were you. Unless you want to find out how they do it in Florida.”

Lando gulps at the boy's words, of course, having no idea how they “do it” in Florida but only assuming he’d end up with a black eye. Oscar has to stifle a laugh, knowing Logan would most likely just laugh it off if Lando genuinely apologized. Not that Lando would.

Oscar's eyes drift across the trio of confused drivers, most likely all going through their memories of the times they had tried to set Logan up.

“You told me he was lonely,” Lando finally whines out, turning back to Oscar who shakes his head.

“I told you he was lonely because his girlfriend couldn’t make it to any of the races. If you would listen, you would’ve heard that part.”

Lando has no defence to that and turns his head back again to watch as Logan laughs at something you said, fingers intertwined together.

When the news spread across the paddock the next day, Logan received a lot of incredulous texts from drivers and employees alike, all shocked that he was in a relationship, let alone married.

Logan didn’t read any of them, he was too busy hanging out with you.

Except, of course, the message from Oscar that included three specific drivers all with their eyes wide as they stared at him and you.

——————————————————

Tags: @casperlikej @evie-119

#scheduled #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 smau #logan sargeant x fem!reader #logan sargeant x you #logan sargent x reader #logan sargeant x reader

[intoxicated-chan]

angsty fight between miguel and wife!reader

and then they make up yayayayay

Give Me Reasons We Should Be Complete

✿ฺ Paring ➳❥ Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader

✿ฺ Summary ➳❥ Miguel has been pushing you away for some time now. After a talk with a friend, you and Miguel try to sort things out.

✿ฺ (A/n) ➳❥ Inspired by “DANCING IN THE DARK” by Joji. Writing this made me think back on past crushes/lovers. But thank you for your request! I am also holding back on writing smut because it keeps getting labeled and it takes me longer to write.

✿ฺ Word Count ➳❥ 1.4k

✿ฺ Content Warnings ➳❥ Female reader, angst-to-fluff, swearing, Miguel is kinda a dick head, mentions of sleep deprivation…

Want more Miguel content? Check out my MASTERLIST!

You stood in his cold and dark office. The best source of light was his laptop but his huge frame blocked most of the light. You managed around the crumbled paper and thrown desk objects with a plate in hand.

“Miguel?” You peer over his shoulder, “I made you dinner.”

He nods.

“You know you haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

He nods again.

“And you know that you’ve been here for a long time. I think it’s best for you to-”

“Take a break?” Miguel interrupts you, “I don’t have time for that.”

“Miguel, I’m sure whatever it is, it can wait a few minutes. All I’m asking is for you to eat something.” You try to set the plate down.

“I thought I made it clear that I do not want to be bothered. You’re distracting me. Leave.”

He didn’t mean it like that… He didn’t mean it like that. He didn’t mean it like that. He didn’t mean it like that…

“But Mig-”

“I said go.” He growls, his eyes turning its blood red from anger, “You’re becoming a nuisance.”

He didn’t mean it like that.

“Okay.” You tried not to let the crack in your voice show. You didn’t even bother to leave the plate behind because you knew it was going to be wasted.

“And don’t bother me again.” You heard him say as you left his office.

You took deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down before you burst into tears. But your hands shook, nearly dropping the plate.

You choked down your sobs and let your tears fall, the plate was left in the fridge, and you pushed yourself to your bedroom. It was basically yours now since Miguel was sleeping in his office.

The sheets no longer lingered on his cologne and any sign of his presence was gone, other than his clothing and a few photos. The room has become a mess of discarded clothing, old plates and cups, and candy wrappers.

How long has it been since Miguel showed affection? Or even looked at you?

This was normal behavior for Miguel, right? You should know, you’re married to him. You’re his wife. But he experienced loss, unlike you. You didn’t want to judge him for how he deals with his emotions, he’s emotionally distant. You knew that from the start.

And because of this, you felt like he deserved more than what you could give him. It’s what kept you going through the many times Miguel tore your heart, how it squeezed in pain at his actions and words. How you look the other way and ignore his hurtful words.

You couldn’t sleep. You left the still cold bed and dressed in something warm and headed up to the roof.

You sat on the edge, looking at Nueva York. How beautiful it looked during the night, which is one of the reasons why you liked sitting up here.

“Sitting all by yourself?” You tense up only to relax when you know that voice, “At this time? All alone?” Peter B. lands next to you, his daughter in his arms.

“I would ask my husband to join me but he’s too busy.” You respond truthfully.

“Again? He’s been at this all week.” He sits next to you.

“Yeah.” You huff.

“And… how are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.”

“Really? Because it doesn’t look like it.” He offers Mayday who reaches out to you.

You take her and set her down on your lap, “I just don’t know what to do, everything I do seems to bother Miguel. Checking up on him, bringing him food. It feels like he’s doing this on purpose.”

“Miguel’s always been difficult and from the time I spent with him… He’s different, not like the rest of us. He’s accepted his fate as Spider-Man and believes he’s destined for bad things 24/7. But good things do come along, like you. I think… I think he’s trying to come to terms that he can get it because he deserves it.”

Mayday coos, pulling at your hair, “And I think Miguel is scared. He puts on his tough act because he has to, yet he’s afraid to admit he’s scared. Normally, people would’ve given up on him. Why haven’t you?

“Till death do us part. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t give up on him because when you love someone, you love them every single day as who they are.”

“Talk about romantic.”

“Oh please.” You look down at Mayday, “Plus I think-”

“There you are.” You jump and this time, you remain tense, “I was looking for you.”

“Now you’re looking for me?” You respond, refusing to turn your head.

“It’s late, (Y/n). It’s dangerous.”

“I’m here, she’s alright.” Mayday jumps into her father’s arms.

“I’ve already had enough of you. Please, (Y/n).”

“It’s fine.” You tell him, following Miguel inside.

You head to the bedroom, “Where are you going?”

“Bed.”

“(Y/n)-”

“I’m tired and I do not want to be bothered. That includes you too, Miguel.”

“Excuse me?” He follows you into the bedroom.

“You heard me.”

“Please, (Y/n), talk to me.” Miguel begs.

“I’m sorry, did you just say talk? Like I have been trying to do for the past week?”

“(Y/n)-”

“You know what? No, no. You do not get to try to get me to talk after all of this. I have been trying, I have been all in. All I asked of you was to look after yourself.”

“I know.”

“You know? You KNOW?” You scoff rather loudly, “Did you know that Lyla has even talked to me about your behavior? I’m worried about you Miguel. All the damn time, even more when I see you not eating and staying up all night. All I ask is one minute, one bite of the damn food.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry.”

“Is sorry all you have to say? Not even a half assed excuse?” You see Miguel trying to form a sentence but nothing leaves his left and his head hangs low, “I need to be alone.”

You walk past him but he grabs your arm, “Please don’t leave.” He says, “Please don’t walk out that door.”

“I’m sleeping on the couch, you could have the bed.” You look up at him.

“I love you, (Y/n). I know I don’t say it as much but I fucking love you. He’s right, you know. I am scared. Scared of everything. Because at first, I didn’t think I could have that, have you. You let me hurt you and that is unforgivable.”

He’s crying. Looking right at you, letting himself be bare right in front of you. His grip on your arm loosens and his hands come up to your face, cupping your cheeks. You could hear his staggered breathing, trying to keep himself composed.

“But I wasn’t lying when I said I love you, I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted a family, and I wasn’t lying when I said that you make me believe in love.”

“I’m always here for you, Miguel. You don’t have to go through things alone, but when you want to, I’m here.” You take one of his hands into yours, pulling it away from your face but keeping a tight hold on it.

“It’s not that easy. I hurt you, I understand why you don’t want to.”

“I love you, Miguel. We’ll work on this. I promise you.” After a moment, Miguel practically tackles you, nearly falling to the ground. The hug is tight and warm, and you could feel your shirt become wet with Miguel’s tears.

“You’re okay, right?” His voice cracks as he speaks through his sobs, “Please tell me you’re okay.”

“I promise you, I am okay.” You whisper.

“I’ll make it up to you, I swear.”

“You can start by getting some rest. But you’ve got a lot of apologies O’Hara.”

You don’t know how long you and Miguel stayed like this, nor did you care. All you cared about was Miguel and he felt complete at last.

© 2023 Intoxicated-Chan, I do not allow my work to be copied, translated, modified, adapted, or put on any other platform with permission.

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