#although i used to have way more

[piracyandpumpturns]

every day i ask myself “am i genderqueer or do i simply not percieve gender in relation to myself”

#i have such little physical dysphoria #although i used to have way more #and sometimes i wonder if it’s because i simply dont naturally percieve physical features as associated with a certain identity #because back when i had a ton of dysphoria about my body i was still thinking of gender a concept everyone was a part of #and that i couldnt be exempt from; that i had to choose my place within the set layout instead of carve a place that fits me uniquely #rather than how i view it now #which is as an optional form of self-definition that just doesnt really apply to me #or like someone in the recording studio as a song is being made #not quite outside of it but not really a part of it in an important way #gender is something that exists that isn’t important in my life the way it used to be #and as it gets less important i get less and less dysphoria #still not none and i doubt it ever will be (without physical transition) #but very very little esp compared to when i was first discovering my gender identity #and another thing #and i cant figure out if my dysphoria is due to how i know my body is percieved #or if it’s actual personal feelings about my body that i would have regardless of society & gender expectations #THAT is my daily struggle #who am i and does the answer even matter anyway #gay kid posting gay shit #gender stuff

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho) #healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage.... #1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception'' #3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.'' #idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band'' #edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry. #but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally. #i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet . #i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound. #but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too. #here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort) #choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo standing up for his brothers in the things that really matter to them.

Like- Leo is the one who immediately pushes Mikey and Donnie into finding Raph the second it’s clear that their oldest brother is missing because he knows Raph can’t handle being separated like that.

Leo is the one who stands up for Mikey when Mikey wants to go on a solo mission, actively vouching for him and being the one to convince Raph into letting Mikey go, because being independent and proving himself just as capable of standing on his own two feet as everyone else means so much to Mikey.

And Leo defends Donnie’s honor in particular when his brothers’ intelligence is insulted because Leo is well aware of how important Donnie’s smarts are to him - and how important having those smarts valued and acknowledged is as well.

All this goes right into just how well Leo knows his brothers. For as much as he’ll tease or fight with them, he knows them, and he loves them.

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #listen Leo loves his family SO MUCH #and like it’s no accident that Leo is consistently the one to give pep talks that #very notably #are less ‘everyone as a group’ and more ‘all of you individually’ #it’s heartening to see honestly and like #it works with how he is as both a person and as a fighter #he knows people he knows them so well he knows how they work what they’re like #which is SO USEFUL for subterfuge AND portal/teleportation strategy #my guy is charming his charisma comes from his understanding of people at an individual level #when he wants to be he is very very good at that #he’s still a teen who is too cocky for his own good at times but that does not negate his stellar other moments #he can be selfish he can be mean he can be rude but when push comes to shove he is so quick to stand up for his family #Mikey’s statement at the end of the movie about how Leo NEVER gave up on THEM is so important because it’s not JUST about the movie!! #that’s Leo as a whole he will never give up on his bros #portal jacked is telling of this too because although it has a lot of comedic moments #never once does Leo stop looking for a way to get his bros back #they’re everything to him #he’s the face man he’s a people person and he’s the number 1 pet turtle which I will discuss the implications of in this essay- #Will also say that when Leo does these moments of standing up for his bros he’s never expecting praise for it #he’s just glad they find Raph he just smiles when Mikey tells him he loves him he never mentions defending Donnie #leo has a tendency to show off fancy glittery moves but his real actions and feelings are sooo much more lowkey #that you have to be actively looking for them to catch them all #and I really really like that about him it’s so interesting HE is so interesting

[syn4k]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

#ray's tag #keys' art #undescribed #skeletons #ok to reblog #the skeleton model that i traced for this was provided by the incredible kiku @kikunai whom you can find right here on tumblr! #so uh. This is a piece about chronic fatigue although the original idea i had for it drifted a bit as soon as I started coloring the linear #(i really enjoy shading and lighting things and got a bit carried away here but i stand by my choice because this is my favorite thing #that i've ever drawn) #anyways. i often feel especially lately with school being back in season that my bones are leaden with this sort of. weariness. theyre heav #it weighs on our mental health and energy a lot and although there's a couple of reasons we have been given for it #that doesn't remove the fact that this is still a thing that affects us in a very real way day to day although we are good at masking it. #often i come home to find that i do not have the physical mental or creative energy to work on things i really want to #especially project: nexus which i feel extra bad about even though i can't help it because i just started it so recently #it is a mild to moderate struggle to make it day to day and i just. wanted to represent this somehow #my original concept for this was a skeleton with some black goop gunk whatever leaking from its joints #but as i started adding the cracks and coloring them gold (a personal touch; kintsugi is a concept that is very dear to us) #i realized that the focus here was less on the condition itself and more on the body that it afflicts. #so i put it into a spotlight. #ironic i know since very little people acknowledge this irl or even know it exists at all but i added rim lighting. I added color gradients #I colored the lineart and made it all fancy and even added a flare for the head to get the point across that even at its core; disability i #a performance. this is not implying that disabilities are fake in fact this is the opposite of that. i wanted to show that with disabilitie #especially i think in my personal opinion the invisible ones #we are all masking at least a little bit during the vast majority of the day. humans are social creatures and it is only when we are alone #or with someone we deeply trust where we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without fear and even then that can be rare #so i wanted to show this bit of the soul in as broad a limelight as i could. idk this is a really abstract piece and i dont know if anyone #will even get it but it matters to me at least. and even though we've been largely bedridden for the past week i think that's okay #we will get it figured out. all of us. okay? okay. i love you. i fucking love you. we are going to fucking make it #(also the xes over the eyes are because i thought they looked cool they have no deeper meaning at least i think they dont #actually i think they do but i cant put it into words idk. Art is subjective assign your own meaning i'm gonna go get a shower)

[the-worms-in-your-bones]

Having a normal time (debating on whether or not time lords can be classified as mammals)

#I am doing this instead of working on my actual mammology homework #like they obviously didn’t evolve on earth but they do have a lot of traits that mammals do #idk if it’s explicitly stated anywhere but they seem to be endothermic #also they have hair although I wonder if it’s made of something other than keratin #or is there like some sort of universal convergent evolution with that #actually it would be interesting if time lord hair wasn’t made of keratin because then what would it be made of #and if it wasn’t would that mean they also had non keratin nails #this is not the point but I got off track #it’s also not that they give live birth but that’s like because of a curse they used to do that #also like when they did have actual children did they produce milk to feed them or was there some other way #so like they might be able to be classified as mammals because they fit some of those things and it’s a unsure on the others #I should really be doing my homework or like studying #I have an exam tomorrow #this is fine #time lord speculative biology is more fun #doctor who #time lords

[a-tired-human-draws-junk]

Some doodles

#i have way too much fun drawing angst #i was mainly messing around with art supplise i never use #did a drawing earlier playing w em and then ended up drawing the sillies and using the cool art crayons #and the pretty brush pen i have #did these bitches off memory so if u notice something missing no you didnt #quote is also off memory so if its wrong dont yell at me pls #bsd #fanart #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #odasaku #is also there technically #although he is small and dead #tw blood #might post more doodle pages eventually idk

[better-call-mau1]

#credit to @jedimandalorian for that close-up screencap of Ezra #it’s a perfect shot honestly 🤣 #that’s his body language while saying something he and Sabine both know to be hilariously untrue???? #you know when they saw each other in the WBW Ezra should have asked Palpatine for tips on how to tell a convincing lie #golden opportunity right there! #but instead he did…this #that’s the Watsonian angle #but here’s the Doylistic take on all this: are we SUPPOSED to believe that Ezra means that????????? #is Dave trying to gaslight us because we all saw that crush back in S1 #and you’ve gotta pull off some incredible mental gymnastics to fool yourself into thinking Ezra’s fumble with Alrich… #…doesn’t mean he’s still crushing #(although it’s way more than a juvenile crush at that point) #anyway I guess we’re gonna find out what nasty tricks Cowboy Man has up his sleeve #sabezra #ezra bridger #sabine wren #kanan jarrus #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #sabezra memes

[izartn]

So, about how I see Link Click's Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi relationship:

As it stands in canon? Queerplatonic partners. And it's convenient for the plot that they're like this.

Because of Chinese censorship it can't be explicitly romantic, yes I know it. Let me tell why it's queerplatonic for me. The way these two have intertwined their lives and futures together?!

Owning a business and living together, that hint in ep2 (comparing them to the subtextually older lesbian couple who also came across as queerplatonic bc censure) where Xiaoshi wonders/fears if years down the line he and Lu Guang will separate/break up implying their partnership is for life as far as he's concerned (the parallel can be taken as a subtext romance too but follow me we're talking text), the way they were already going also on vacancies together three years prev in canon, etc...

Without entering on their complimentary powers and the way the dives need both of them if they want security in not screwing the past, and the inmense trust and vulnerability the dives themselves require?

They're not simply best friends either.

Those aren't the actions of normal, totally not queer friends. Cheng Xiaoshi checks out women on the dives, sure, (and men too when the host is feeling it which I love bc they can't address it directly bc censorship and then it comes across as Xiaoshi being super confident in his own relationship to sexuality/gender) but I don't think he would ever date bc Lu Guang is already there, filling that place in his life minus sex and romance but all that same companionship and intensity of feeling.

These two meet in what, the last year/s of High School and then proceeded to latch onto each other with a commitment reserved for romantic partners.

And I know you want to say, "it's the censorship! they'd be romantic and canon if not for the censorship!"

Are you sure? Are you sure the story would work if there were explicit romance in it? (I mean, if they could I'm pretty sure they would have nailed it anyways but allow me my a-spec delusions) Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang feel so much like an already established pair, they work like one, and Link Click is not about them coming together like many other stories. Are you sure this would work as BL?

There's a distinct difference on the way they start the show already like six years at least since they're best friends and three or two since they live together. That's not usually how it goes. I'm talking not just romances but every buddy or nakama anime/show, where the protag has to learn to work with who will be his best friend or rival. These stories usually have the same kind of plot progression as a romance which is why they work so well when you make the subtext text.

But a story where the main romance is already established and we're following a plot that has nothing to do with it? Much more rare, even stranger to find them well done although there are some very good ones and with the friendships instead of romo they're more common. For example, Soul Eater, which is all about the trials of it and how they hace to truly come to understand each other. That's Link Click a bit, but not even then.

Link Click juggling a budding romance between Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi with all the other stuff is going on?? Messier for sure. I don't know if people would have liked it as much or if the donghua would have been as well done.

As it is, Link Click has the exact level of emotional connection between our protags it needs to have incredibly high stakes emotionally and at the same time not need a detour by romantic scenes/fanservice that would derail the plot or the other charas importance. That it happens to be pretty queer anyways in a platonic way?

Nice for the aroace-spec folks watching the show xD

Btw, I'm pretty sure in season 3 we're going to get more of Lu Guang's PoV, the origins of their powers and the past between him and Xiaoshi. It'll probably dig more into the aspect of "testing their bond and coming stronger bc of it" which is were the romantic subtext usually comes through...

—unless you're very very good at writing like Arakawa in FMA, who nailed the brotherly relationship without tipping into incest subtext which I've seen more than a few writers fumble. or the latest D&D film for the platonic childrearing and partnership for a no familial example between a man and a woman also very very difficult to get right for writers dunno why—

... but until then, for now I'm incredibly satisfied by the canon.

The other read of course it that they're already a couple since well before the start of season 1, and to mentally edit what we saw in canon with that lens (it wouldn't be very difficult honestly) but reading only the text? Queerplatonic partners!

There also how Xiaoshi and Lu Guang don't have that anxiety/insecurity of their bond that makes it so easy to read the want for something, like a romance for shipping purposes. Despite the disagreements on the Dives or the trials of season 2 or Lu Guang keeping secret Cheng Xiaoshi future/past death they read very steady which is fun. I love some good established relationship, you can go to deeper places when the base is already secure and the risk is higher for the characters. Plus I love domesticity! Yes, I do my angsty/Gothic leanings notwithstanding. Don't you know you need a home for the Gothic to be effective?

#link click #meta #link click meta #lu guang #cheng xiaoshi #shiguang #my thoughts #all of this to say that I don't exactly ship them #Although I've been tagging fanart and meta with their shipname #bc I dont not ship them #honestly? #it's because despite it all I'm very much a canon girl so I can't help but see shiguang on that same romo-not romo limbo #canon present us with #loving the fics though #and Lu Guang is so tragic timetraveler for love coded is not funny #which is the reason I'm sure season 3 will give me that shift towards a more romantic lense to their relationship #also the way they made sure to sibling-fy qiao ling and cheng xiaoshi was fun XD #in conclusion: I think Link Click being a danmei wouldn't have worked #precisely bc it wasnt created as danmei the story as it is works almost perfectly #and right now Im not sure if I would want the romance at the expense of everything else the plot is doing #....qiang jin jiu did it well on the second half though #but it had the first part to go from a enemies-to-lovers and establishing the romance #I don't think I've seen a danmei start with a established romantic relationship bc the genre being a romance tells you that's #what's going to be centered #link click would had to be a just a time travel thriller with queer elements (which it is) #and I don't know #I'd love it but I bet we'll have lots of people annoyed/annoying bc they're here for the romance #Instead of taking the story for what it is #but then romance (queer romance) doesn't devalue the storytelling #ah the conflict of wanting a-spec queer stories VS censorship

[yellowsubiesdance]

i think i’ve learned a lot when it comes to not applying my own values to the media i consume

for my script analysis class yesterday, we discussed two gentleman from verona, and nearly every classmate of mine was up in arms about how sexist the story is.

and i'm not saying it's not, or that it's not infuriating to read. but i'm also not putting my energy into getting upset about something written 500 or so years ago. and i'm not about to put my own beliefs onto these characters that are not me. i'm going to let their choices speak for themselves, and interpret it in the context of the story.

all that said, this now brings me to the point of alastor in episode 5, and how viscerally people are responding to it. those of you up in arms about the choices he’s making, and the violent threat he gave husk, you’re missing the entire point of his character, of this place they’re in, of the story being told. he’s an overlord, and he became an overlord by killing much bigger overlords and broadcasting their deaths over the radio.

HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.

if you started this show with the belief that every character working the hotel is a good person, you’re in the wrong place. watch the good place if you’re looking for a good wholesome story about getting dead sinners into heaven, because that’s not what this show is about.

you’re more than welcome to hate him after seeing the way he exerted power over a being whose soul he owns, but you’re doing the media you’re watching a disservice by writing it off so quickly. if you don’t like to be uncomfortable watching media, watch something else. this is an uncomfortable show, it handles uncomfortable topics, and it’s going to be an uncomfortable ride, and if you’re not up for something like that, then you should take a break from it and pick up something else. you don’t have to get online and defend your own ideals while you watch a show that goes against your ideals.

#hazbin hotel spoilers #that’s not even touching on the fact that husk was an overlord too #he also owned souls that he used as currency to supply his gambling addiction #he’s also not a good person!! #the majority of these characters are in hell for a reason: they’re not good people #i quite frankly love the way this show blurs the lines between good and evil #our heroes are sinners and overlords and demons. while the enemies are angels. but that doesn’t mean our heroes are good people. #you HAAAVE to come to terms with that!! you have to stop seeing the world in black and white or you’re not going to survive this world #if you’re upset because alastor was cruel to husk fine! be upset! but explore why you’re taking yourself out of that world. #in this world sinners own other people. there’s no ifs ands or buts #‘oh alastor is a poc why would he own people’ he was a serial killer when he was alive do you really think you can apply your values to that #(and this is me speaking as a poc. specifically a mixed race poc.) #i cannot speak to who vivzie is as a person. but i’m interested in the message she’s writing and thus far i’m finding it compelling #it’s a similar story as the good place but it’s going the distance to explore even worse people than those in the good place #i don’t think it’s responsible to write something off just because unsavory things happen in it. #and she’s giving us so many different types of representation that don’t involve race (although we’re also getting a lot of hispanic rep) #just like cool your jets and maybe process some of the anger you’re feeling. and maybe nothing will change. #but if you act. instead of react. if you understand why you’re feeling some type of way and then make a choice. #that’s so much stronger and more responsible than reacting and not thinking anything through #hazbin hotel #alastor #husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin husk #anyway let me get off my soapbox #long post

[cerise-on-top]

Hank with an Eldritch Horror Reader

Here's another thing I wrote two years back! It was an interesting concept which I really liked, so I actually really enjoyed writing this request!

Hank J Wimbleton was a grunt of many things, but not one to be scared unless he had a good reason to be. There were many things in this world he did not understand, you were one of them. Upon meeting you, his first instinct would have been to either fight or run away - who could blame him, it was all he knew. No matter how many times you reassured him that the very last thing you wanted to do was to harm him, he’d draw his weapon, uncertain of whether or not he should believe your words.

Once you show no resistance towards him whatsoever and simply restrain him using your powers or other methods, that’s when, thrashing around as much as he could, he would start listening. You may or may not have seen a grunt up close, but this was your chance to finally examine one. As you scrutinise him from every possible angle Hank realises that you were simply curious about his being and finally lowers weapon.

Your voice would likely hurt his head and freeze the blood in his veins, so you might have to resort to telepathy or speak through a marionette, if you can find one. Though, once Hank’s interest in you has been piqued, he’d be more than happy to find you one. A lot of people in Nevada seem to be redundant in the first place. Regarding telepathy: You will be able to have a two-way conversation with Hank like that, but, for the most part, he doesn’t think in words. Still, he can do so, if needed.

If you’re on the rather small side, he will make an effort to pick you up, or hold you, and bring you back to base. Depending on whether you can float or not, this might be rather difficult, but he’ll try. If you’re large, however, then he will simply “tell” you to follow him. As an eldritch being you could likely either change your form or scare away anyone in your path in the first place, so he doesn’t particularly worry about anyone being stupid enough to attack you.

Spend time with him, he’ll get used to you more and more and, eventually, grow a bond with you. Proud, he’ll show you to Doc so he can figure out what you are, but do not be fooled. Hank wants to know what you are to some degree too. Once comfortable with you and certain you won’t harm him, he’ll start observing you, touching you to some degree. See how you react, how you feel, how you are.

Despite your conversations being, for the most part, one-sided, Hank will ask you directly what you are and if you’re some form of eldritch deity. Since you’re an amicable creature he can’t exactly wrap his head around, it’s worth a try.

Although he would like to do so to some degree, he won’t take you with him on missions. It’s his way of saying “I care a great deal about you, I don’t want you to die or worse even if you are capable of defending yourself.” If you really insist on aiding him, he will let you, begrudgingly. But beware that he will have your back. In fact, having you around will give him a greater reason to fight and improve his overall performance. Though, it will also be a major stress factor to him if something were to happen to you, so choose wisely.

#madness combat #madness combat x reader #hank j wimbleton #hank j wimbleton x reader #I've been into eldritch horrors and stuff ever since I was a teenager #although I don't condone his beliefs in the slightest I really like Lovecraft's writing style #at one point it influenced how I wrote as well since he was rather descriptive in a pleasant to read way #I have an anthology at home that I might wanna reread again at some point #celephais was always my favorite story and I think it may be one of my favorite stories of all time #I know it interests no one but my favorite book is No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai #and yes I did get into classic literature because of a certain anime I don't wanna tag in this post #but another book I really enjoyed reading was Clockwork Orange I read it with someone I used to be close to and it was a really good read #it gave me nightmares but I really enjoyed it! gave me something to talk about with my father as well #Hier kommt Alex by Die Toten Hosen is also a really good song! as is 1000 Gründe by the same band! #those songs are based on Clockwork Orange actually! #I never watched the movie and I don't think I ever will because eye gore disturbs me but the book was good! I read it bc of tboi! #I have quite a few classic at home! but I think I wanna finish reading Paradise Lost! That's also a really interesting story so far! #reading and writing are some of my favorite hobbies! #I'd also love to finishe the price of salt at some point as well! Because I have to all things considered! #I just wish I could juggle all of my hobbies a bit better! I wish I had a bit more time for everything! but oh well it be like that!

[eclaire-went-bam]

although i think it's important to acknowledge the complexities of aro & ace identities, & to be welcoming of aroace identities that may be sex/romance favourable/hypersexual & seek those relationships, i think it's still important to acknowledge that completely romance/sex repulsed aroaces are still a minority in the ace community despite being the stereotype. & we should still listen to those voices,

#i don't have like. Aro Ace Spectrum Demographics but i definitely notice the grand majority of users i (Personally) see are acespec #but a very Few amount of people are the stereotypical romance-repulsed sex-repulsed aroace #& although it's a good thing that those on other parts of the spectrum are recognising their identity & learning more abt themselves #we should still recognise that's a majority in the ace community & should still strive to make apothi aroace ppl feel welcome in spaces #maybe it's just been my experience with the h4zbin h0tel fandom (censoring bcs i don't want drama) but #i Definitely see a lotta people taking apothi aroace ppl expressing discomfort w/ al4stor being shown in ship art (by allos) #& turning it into “you guys know there are OTHER ace identities right 🙄🙄” or “that's just how the internet is !” #which yes i think almost all of us are Well aware of other ace identities. espec if we're active in ace communities #& no the internet doesn't Have to be that way. just like how the internet is a whole lot less homophobic than how it used to be #instead of actually ??? listening to our points ? a lot of people only seem to listen to us when we absolutely hamfist the whole “it's ok to #be x y or z too!“ into every single message #just so people don't immediately antagonise us for raining on their fictional ship or sumn #this make sense ? #aromantic #asexual #aroace #sex repulsed #romance repulsed #lgbtqia #idk if this comes off as whiney since it's from said apothi aroace individual. “listen to me NOW !!!” but uhhm if so ? idgaf whatever

[atthebell]

i feel like new server members & viewers don't realize all the original eggs spoke english and spanish partially bc people don't explain the original intent of the egg event (pairing eng & esp speakers so they would interact more) nor do people realize the original eggs were randomly picked by their parents so they weren't assigned ahead of time (even cellbit for a while thought dapper didn't speak spanish because he thought he was just for bad and wouldn't have needed to, let alone far newer members)

#bell.txt #not saying op of thst post is a new viewer im pretty sure they arent it just reminded me of all the people who dont know #that all the og eggs spoke spanish #it used to be that basically all the admins spoke spanish and now they have way more admins who speak various languages #although i think og chay (& cucurucho) also spoke chinese

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Something I've seen a couple people saying is that they want to make sure that Laudna understands that she's not the only one who has been through trauma. But like. Laudna is not the only one who needs to learn that lesson. Actually, it's not even that Laudna needs to learn that she's not the only one that's been through trauma at all, because they're all very aware of what they've all been through. This became an inevitable confrontation when Laudna decided to let Delilah back in, though, and after rewatching the scene, I actually think the only people who managed this situation correctly were Imogen* and Ashton.

Orym and Laudna are both more focused on their own pasts with the sword and not thinking about each other. Orym should have talked to the group and come to a decision with them about using the sword and Laudna should have talked to him about it instead of trying to steal it.

*my feelings about this are still up in the air don't read into this too much

#our faves aren't exempt from having to learn these lessons and orym has also not learned this lesson i'm sorry but it's true #ashton and chet are the only ones who have even tried to deal with their personal shit in a semi-productive way tbh #i could elaborate on the imogen handling this correctly but i'm not delving into interpreting that ship so i'm not going to lol #that's another post people wouldn't actually like and it's because i definitely don't mean this in the way you think i mean it #i'm not saying laudna was RIGHT #honestly i'm not getting my hopes up about how this going to be dealt with because i've done that before #and it hasn't panned out in a way that i enjoyed #so we'll see how this goes #also tbh orym walking in wielding that sword was a ballsy move to begin with #props to marisha for instigating tough rp over it #literally laudna going 'i was felled by this blade' and orym going 'so was i' LIKE SHE WASN'T PERMANENTLY DEAD THOUGH #for a long fucking time #and chet saying that orym's lost more like laudna didn't lose her entire family and her entire life lmao #if ANYONE in this group might be able to understand orym's loss it's HER #i know people are going to interpret this as me saying there's a right or wrong to this and i'm not saying that #people acting like one of them had more of a right to the sword than the other is bugging me though #although my vote would definitely be throw that thing in the lucidean ocean #(i mean really i'm like USE IT IT'S PROBABLY COOL) but like if i were IN the situation it would be to toss that thing so far away from me #cr spoilers

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

ok i totally get if like, a massive area that's too much work needs to be cut but boy it went from this to tadpole information dump speedrun which is ahahaha a choice (x)

#larian critical #you have my condolences wyll stans #don't get me wrong although big battles with armies is always a lot of fun personally i get it like ok if it was too much work it ok #but maybe they could've done a bit more to make up for it. more than tadpole infodump speedrun i mean. #bc i think with war college as a staging ground it would've been way more drawn out than it was with it being the iron throne #which is a point of no return type of decision and axes the alliance with gortash #but also now my wish fuilfilment ass can complain the war college and fighting the absolute's armies sounds metal af #HE NEEDS TO STOP TELLING US WHAT WAS CUT I AM LITERALLY SO DISAPPOINTED WITH EVERY NEW THING I LEARN #see i was gonna shut up but the war college sounded cool so now i have to complain #i love big battles and strategizing at war councils /sob #AND DRAGON I WANT THE DRAGON

[puppyeared]

if escape rooms as team building exercises became popular im not sure if id be more excited or terrified

#if it isnt already anyway.. i can see it happening as a school frosh thing. idk if it would catch on as a workplace thing #i kind of find the concept of being locked in with strangers and working to find a way out weirdly exhilarating though #at least compared to icebreakers cause i dont have to spend 10 minutes racking my brain for something to blurt out abt myself #as a bonus u could like. put people into groups and give prizes to whoever escapes first second third etc. apparently they also do themed #escape rooms.. maybe let people pick a theme? or voluntary sign up? actually this would be really fun for smth like a blind friend date #although if i found out i was locked in a room with an online friend id be too excited to actually escape LOL #ive never done an escape room before so sadly i cant speak from experience. its like up there on things i want to try next to rug tufting #workshop and visiting new art exhibits or conventions. i seriously need to get out more if it wasnt for the horrors <- school and anxiety #i was planning to invite cass to a drop-in art workshop in town but neither of us could go bc typography is making us go thru hell and back #AND THEY HAD A BUTTON MACHINE TOO #im nostalgic bc i miss working in groups and not being awkward abt it or worrying abt schedule conflicts #i realized that i learn best in groups and its a little corny but i like sharing ideas and talking through a problem #in elementary i could just sit down with friends for review and come out of it energized *and* more familiar with the material #and i could technically still do it now. but as adults we're more picky abt who we work with on top of being way more busy outside school #maybe im lonely. im shy and grew up not talking to ppl unless i absolutely have to so its hard to make friends on my own i guess #only thing getting me thru it is telling myself that humans like helping and that my cringe is overblown in my head. but its hard #hence the escape rooms. i have been able to talk to 2(!!) people though!! mostly abt school stuff but im glad to be on friendly terms #i dont really know how to be happy these days cause im constantly scaring myself abt my portfolio and finding places to work #not being ambitious is part of not wanting to put energy into something that wont work out while also not having the passion to do literall #anything else.. i should probably talk to my counsellor ugh #yapping

[scribl1ta]

one of his eyes is supposed to be bigger than the other so that is intentional if you notice they look different☺️👍🏻I also hope the lighting isn't hard to look at between the two lol

more stuff below the cut

I went through a lot of sketches I didn't like enough (above) but which maybe show his features more clearly. I literally haven't drawn Ascyltos since I was in high school because I lowkey don't like him not even as a character and he didn't really appeal to me😭but I think having an image in my mind and allowing myself to think of different character traits for me made me at least a little more sympathetic. I also recorded a timelapse of the second one that I might edit and add to the post if people seem interested.

#my art #satyricon #modern au #roman literature #ascyltos #<- i am going to try using character tags since i plan on drawing them more often now #anyway I also have way more that I held back on posting not to spam anybody #and because i wanted to wait until everybody had their design reveal #although its a little weird to draw them first in an au setting