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jwnchstr · 1 year

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waiting for superman | m.s47

title: waiting for superman part 1

characters: you/reader/catherine, mick schumacher

summary: when your father (a former ferrari mechanic) was diagnosed with alzheimer's, your world turns upside down. you had to give up your city life, get back to your village to take care of your father. but what hurts the most is being so close to him and seeing him not remember you (catherine) as well as every precious moment in his life with you. you start to questions about everything until mick schumacher (your childhood best friend) comes back into your life and teaches you life lessons that you're sure will remember forever.

other f1 fics | masterlist | my wattpad

waiting for superman part 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

working is stressful enough. and driving 30 minutes just to get home can make you feel like killing yourself. those traffics. people breaking for no reason. people driving above speed limit as if they're in a drift competition. but oh well, except for today.

you decided to take a longer route home today even if that means you will be spending extra 10 minutes on the road to reach home. but with your current life, you know needed those 10 minutes because it's literally the only time that you have for yourself. accompanied by nothing but the hum of your tyres and the sound of the car engine. that little white noise somehow makes you calm than the sound of the ocean meeting the shore.

there were a lot of things you are thinking right now but for once, it's not about money. you have some savings enough for the next four months (you've been saving up since your first year at an engineering company in the city centre). so even though you're now only working as a barista, you don't worry about money much. and with your father's condition, the financial assisstant given by the government are quite enough for his medication and to pay for his caretaker.

in the car, your mind takes you back when you were little. how you were always in your father's shadow. despite being a girl, you would always be seen with bolts and nuts, spanners, hammers, car spare parts in your hands. oil and grease on your face. instead of playing with dolls, you'd play with karts, toy cars, nerf guns, video games. the amount of time you spent with your father's colleagues in the hotels. you would follow everywhere your father goes. you would often be seen at the ferrari's garage, surrounded with ferrari engineers and mechanics, asking them this and that. watching them like you're the boss.

but the clouds aren't always clear. things would always crumbling down while you're at the highest of high. it's like the god is calling you and to humble you down. after getting a phone call from your neighbour who told you that your father was always found at the police station, they suggested you to get your father diagnosed. he has alzheimer's disease for a year now and it's not getting any better. if anything, it gets worse and fast deteroriate.

because yesterday specifically, he didn't remember who you are. he didn't remember your name. he wasn't sure why you were in his house. he even called his mom (who died many years ago) and kicked you out of the house. you know your neighbours saw what happened. you just hope they didn't get the wrong idea about your family because you know your father will not kick you out of his house if he didn't lost his mind. good thing annie the caretaker lives with you. she sedated your father. when everything's calmed, you locked yourself in your room and cried.

yesterday was not the first night you cried since your father was diagnosed. but it was the most painful yet. to witness your father calling his mother who was dead for years. to see an unknowing look when he sees your face. your name didn't give him a clue of who you are. he said something about calling andrea. and you know who andrea and that's where you know you're fucked. because both you and you father hate your mum.

all of the times you spent together with him got deleted from his memory just like that. you remember when you were younger. you used to get mad at your father for not giving you enough attention but if you knew your father was going to get alzheimer's and that he won't remember you ever, you wouldn't beg your father for attention.

so what now? you can't just make a conversation with him now. you can't get straight to your point because every time you will try tell him something exciting, you will have to tell him from the start. from before the news. the concert your favourite is going to make. your plan on seeing them. when the ticket purchasing is open and you got yourself the very expensive one (the package includes meet and greet with the band backstage before concert, a handful of merchandise that include lanyard, rainbow light stick, bracelet, photo album from the first few concerts, free drinks.) the songs list. though at one point, you stop talking.

"nevermind. you won't remember it at all," you'd tell your father.

"i'm sorry."

"it's okay."

no. it's never okay. because he used to remember things that you like, love and hate the most. he remembered things that made you cry and laugh. he knew the bad jokes just to put a smile on your face. both of you used to say bad things about your mum and laughed about it. now he talks about her.

and he definitely hates you now. you know it's his routine to go out at 11 in the morning to meet his friends somewhere in the neighbourhood. he would usually be back home by lunch time. he would walk home since most of his friends are also too old to drive. but after a few times being found by the police and your neighbour had to fetch him at the police station, he's banned to leave the house without a partner even if he's not meeting his friends. annie will usually tidy and clean the house in the morning and you work in the morning until five. like a teenager, he's in a rebellion phase where he doesn't want to talk to you though he's still being friendly with annie.

you're lost. you don't know what to do. you tried asking the doctors some advice. you tried asking a community for a solution. you tried inviting his friends over to your house instead but at the end of the day, your father still wants to go out during the time that neither you nor annie were available. it hurts you everywhere realising that you lost your lovely father.

you feel your eyes sting. they water a little bit before you blink them away. but it's not like you to cry on a daylight. so you sit in your car as you drive within speed limit, head hurts from holding back your tears. the traffic is as normally heavy today but you're not stuck. you enjoy every second of the drive until a big dog crosses the road. you to slam your break. your tyres screech.

luckily you were already inside a rich neighbourhood. the familiar, quiet and deserted neighbourhood where there are less cars, more trees, big and well-maintained park. you rarely come here unless you're visiting one of two of your rich friends. shocked, the dog doesn't move. he stays in front of your car in the middle of the road, crying for his mistake. you pull your handbreak and press the hazard light button before you leave your car to check up on the dog.

"hey, buddy."

the dog whines. he watches as you approach him, gives you his best puppy dog eyes so that you would not be angry at him and help him instead. he belongs to someone because there's a collar around his neck though without a name and a phone number. smoothing your fingers through the dog's fur, you help him calm down.

"oh, thank god, you're okay," you'd say. "are you supposed to be here, little buddy? where did you come from, huh? where's your human?"

the dog whimpers while you continue to caress his neck, his back, his head. you can feel him shaking uncontrollably under your palms. instantly, you feel bad for him even though it's not your fault to make him scared in the first place.

"augustine!" comes a male voice from over the dog's shoulder. "augustine. oh thank god! there you are! you got me worried sick about you!"

every problem you had about your life was gone when you see the dog and when you had to hit the break paddle but now as the familiar blonde-haired man with blue eyes is in front of you, you feel your heart explodes. something caught in your throat. your blood withdrawn from your face. you feel like your world is crashing down and rebuilding with a new kind of good problem. out of the many places and times, why must you see mick schumacher now?

mick was your childhood bestfriends. since he's inseparable with his sister gina and since your age is not so different with her, you're best friends with her too. and being bestfriends with the siblings is like being the third child to their parents corinna and michael. so they know you. you know them. your father is a friend of michael and he was one of the few people that was allowed to see michael when he got into that tragic accident. things changed when mick got so busy with his formula siries career and you're busy studying to be an engineer. it's been years since you last saw him. well, until today.

mick, who has yet to notice you there, lets out a long sigh. you watch him as he puts his attention on dog---augustine. he kneels in front of augustine, checking his body for cuts and bloods. when there's nothing serious, he sighs one more time. relieved, his shoulders relaxed.

"augustine... what did i tell you about running off the street?"

the dog shoves his muzzle into the male's underarm, hiding his face and continues to whimper. it's as if he is apologising to mick that he's being reckless and maybe promise not to do it again.

"you could've been killed, do you know that?"

mick looks up at you now after feeling like it's enough to scold augustine. plus, they're still in the middle of one side of the road. and his reaction mirrors you when you first found out that it's mick in front of you.

"catherine?"

"hi, mick."

you smile. you feel like being a high school girl again for having your crush looking right at you. he is exactly the kind of prince charming most girls used to dream of when they were children. only you have had met your prince charming ever since you were little.

mick's eyes studies your face that he hasn't seen in a few years. "h--- hi."

things get awkward. you didn't know what else to say. you keep smiling.

"i'm--- uhh--- i'm sorry about augustine," mick stutters a little. "we were just playing freebies. at the park. and then she thought we lost the freebies so she went hunting for it."

so agustine is a she.

"don't worry about it." you wave a hand. "what's important is that she's fine, isn't she."

"a bit traumatised, i bet. but other than that, she's fine, yeah." mick smiles at you even though his eyes are on augustine who is sitting like a good dog near his leg.

a short silence falls between you and mick again until mick feels augustine nudges his leg.

"i--- i should get going."

get going? five minutes ago you're sure you felt like running away when you saw mick. in face, you didn't want to meet anyone you knew who lives in this street because you hate telling stories about your father. the shock in their faces. the simpathy. they send condolences but they never meet their hearts. because none of them never experienced what you're experiencing now. but when mick stands up, pets his dog to follow, turns around towards the direction they came, you feel like stopping them. because when interacting with them you weren't thinking about your problems for once. it feels fresh.

but despite that, you didn't have the courage to call mick even though you were his childhood bestfriends. even though you grew up in the same village. even though both of you used to play with dirts together at the horse barn at your neighbour's. all of your learned how to ride a horse together with your neighbour's kids but only gina turned out to make it a career. how he would follow you and your father hunting in the woods. you were there when he decided to be serious with karting. you would reconsider to do it if you still had that dream job, one where you and mick weren't having that huge gap in terms of your career. but it's different now. mick is a succesful formula one driver and you're just a barista. it sounds crazy if he wants to go out with you.

but you haven't seen him for years! you could kill yourself if you didn't go out with mick for at least once in your youth. to see how he is like as a someone closer than just a friend. if it didn't work out, it's okay, you think. you can still be friends with him like he is friends with justine. so you open your mouth to call mick. you were glad nothing came out because before you could find your voice, mick stops on the road divider. augustine follows just as when he stops. he turns around and approaches you once again.

"sorry." he chuckles nervously. "i know this sounds a bit crazy but i'm free for the rest of the day today. and i was wondering if... if you'd like to have some coffee with me."

you heart blossoms. "i would if you don't mind me driving for you."

you definitely didn't plan to say that though. it's just that your car is kind of brand new so it's hard to put a trust on somebody else to drive your car even though he is an f1 driver.

mick chuckles. "i don't. new car?"

"kind of," you answer as mick inspects your car. the tyres. the sportrim. the skirting. the tinted windows. the custom colour of your car. "it's two years old though but it till feels like it's new."

mick is definitely in love with your car.

"look at how shiny your car is."

mick rounds your car, pushes augustine into the back of your car and apologises when augutine's legs cause a dirts on your seats. though you wish you brought old towel or newpapers, but you dismiss mick and drives him back to the park (though you have make to u-turn) for him to collect his belongings that he left when chasing after augustine. good thing nothing was stolen.

you ended up settling down at a coffee shop in the city centre with mick beside you and augustine comfortably lying on her stomach by mick's foot. you recognise this particular coffee shop because a year ago you were one of their regular customers to get coffee first thing in the morning before work. their coffee never felt expensive to you.

until now...

"the fact that we haven't seen each other for years, i feel like i should introduce myself," mick jokes.

"we just haven't seen each other, mick. we're not strangers."

mick laughs. "how have you been doing?"

to be honest, you don't know how to answer mick's question. well, how do you answer when a year and a half ago, you learned that your father has alzheimer's disease. and then you have to resign from your old company, say goodbye to your dreams, pack your bags and return home. you weren't ready for what comes next. nobody from your circle told you what to expect when your father has alzheimer's. so when he starts to forget about you, it hurts so bad.

"i'm... good."

"the delay doesn't sound good."

"i don't have anything else to say."

mick stares at you for a few seconds. it feels like he is reading your mind. it feels as if he already knew what happened to your father but didn't want to feel like he knows everything so he keeps quiet. you're damn sure he is waiting for you to tell him but the question is, are you ready? even if he already knew about your family?

didn't feel comfortable, you gulp and look away before returning your gaze to him.

"enough about me. how about you? how are you doing? how's your career?"

mick doesn't look pleased with the question. he presses his lips together. as trained, he answers "there are many ups and downs with the teams. didn't manage to finish last race but we're looking forward to the next race and definitely we will work harder."

"seriously? you're using that voice with me?"

"what voice?"

"your working voice," you state. "when you're answering interviews. you have this kind of voice. and that staged answers--- i know you memorise them. come on. tell me something i don't know."

mick wonders and he wonders a lot. and you definitely didn't know what you don't know and mick decides to wait and see if he's right.

"well, seb is visiting us next week."

"really?"

your face lights up hearing sebastian vettel's name as you're close to him too. his kids are a bundle joy. though you only meet them when he's visiting mick but they remember you and that's what matters. having a father who was once a part of the motorsport team gave you a lot of advantages and experiences a normal girl didn't have.

your father was michael's mechanic at ferrari. and michael was close to him at home but closer since they spent so much time together around the globe. and michael was close to sebastian so that makes your father closed with sebastian. and you too. at some point, all of you are connected.

you thought of bringing your father to see sebastian at mick's house but your face falls as soon as you remember that your father isn't going to remember who sebastian is despite being close. those times he and michael spent with sebastian in the red bull garage after both of them retired. those times they spent together watching junior drivers in their go-kart, standing outside of the go-kart circuit with hands behind their backs, judging other people's kids. your father isn't going to remember them all.

"hey, what's with the sour face?"

you give mick a small smile. "nothing. i probably should head home."

"but we just like here like... three minutes ago."

"i--- i just feel like to be alone. i'm sorry, mick."

"o--- okay."

mick gathers his belongings and you gather yours. he pulls augustine up by the leash and minutes later, all three of you are inside your car again and on your way home.

mick's house is exactly how you remember it used to be. the same colour. the same gravel road that leads to his house. the same frontyard with a little garden on the left though corinna have few different flowers and trees now. his mother or gina might have traded their old cars but other than those, nothing really changed. as you slowly pull your car in front of the house, you see gina at their front porch, reading while her dog roger is chasing the butterflies away.

"thank you for the coffee. i really appreciate it."

"ah, it's nothing," mick scratches the back of his head absent-mindedly. "i think we should do it again."

"you think?"

"no. we should do it again."

yes. you wanted to do this again even though at first, you didn't think there is "again" especially when you were being hard on mick. close to being rude to him when he was nothing but a sweetheart to you. he even paid for your coffee when normally you would your own meal when you go out with your friends. and even a few guys you dated back then.

you're not sure where this is going. you wished to go out with mick for at least once in your life. but god is giving you another chance with mick so you definitely isn't going to say no. right? wrong! just when you thought you finally found your happiness, a thought about your father crosses your mind. you've been neglecting him for hours now. a part from his rebellion about you not allowing him to go out without supervision, he could be sulking now at home because you've been neglecting him. another reason for him to hate you.

"i don't know, mick."

"you're worried about your father, aren't you?"

this is what mick has been waiting for you tell him about. he's been itching to hear them from your own mouth. he didn't dare to ask you himself in the first place because he knows what it feels like to talk about something you hadn't truly accept. but the reason mick is asking now is because he wants to see you more and he cannot bear the fact that you keep saying no becaue of your father as if he didn't understand your situation.

he understands alright!

your eyes instantly water. "how---how do you know?"

it hurts to see you cry because the catherine he remembers was always laughing. if you're not doing that, you'd be smiling. even if not that, you'd be mischievously smirking at him with gina. both of you were quite pranksters back then. even if you weren't doing any of the above, you were not crying.

"mum told me." mick pauses. "i didn't believe her but last week i found your father at my old karting club with annie. i tried to talk to him but he didn't remember me. and that's when i know."

you wipe your tears on your cheeks.

"is that why you've been distancing yourself from me?"

"no."

mick raises his eyebrows. "are you sure?"

"maybe."

"why else?"

"well, isn't it obvious? that you're always busy and constantly traveling. meanwhile i'm here struggling with double hours and taking care of my father that i barely had time for anything."

"aren't you an engineer?"

"were," you say. "i have to leave them behind, mick. right when my father was officially diagnosed with alzheimer's. i came back home. and i'm now a barista."

you lift up a logo on the left side of your uniform.

"i'm sorry you have to through this, catherine."

"i'm... getting used to it."

"you know what, why don't you come with him when seb comes next week?"

"thanks but he won't remember anything, mick. he doesn't even remember me."

"shit."

mick looks down. mourning. mourning for you and all of your memories you had with your dad.

"but this isn't going to be the last time we ever see each other again, okay? i'll see you tomorrow at your house. i want to see your father. i don't care if he doesn't remember me. i still want to see him."

"no. you don't have to---"

"maybe i'll bring gina along. we'll see." mick smiles. "bye."

you watch as mick opens the back car door and whistles to augustine. as soon as mick and augustine step foot onto their frontyard, roger barks happily at them as if announcing to the people who live there that mick and augustine are back from the park. gina puts down her book and looks up. she smiles brightly as soon as she recognises it's you in the car and waves at you. you wave back, returning home.

when the next day comes, mick didn't tell notify you that he's on his way to your house. good thing you are on your off-day and you just finished having your late breakfast when your door bell rings. your father doesn't move from his seat. he didn't ask you to get the door. it's as if he didn't hear the bell. or maybe he is sulking about yesterday. meanwhile you and annie exchange looks.

"did we expect any visitors today?"

"uh. i think that's mick."

"mick? as in the schumacher?"

you nod your head.

"you didn't tell me he's coming? i didn't prepare anything."

"and i haven't taken my shower," you say. "that's alright. i'll get the door. he's here to see dad."

when you finally open the door, you realise that mick isn't alone. a beaming gina is one step behind mick's shoulder. while mick is wearing a jumper and jeans, gina is wearing a button-up shirt tucked into her trousers and her trousers are tucked into her horse-riding boots. she must be from the barn. as usual.

"were you at the schmidt's the whole morning?"

schmidt is your neighbour. the who one has the horse barn where all three of you---including schmidt's children---used to play together when you were kids. the way all of you used to play like there's no tomorrow. not worrying about pimples and acnes and allergies. while the fathers would be watching over you, drinking coffees (because it's not a good moral to drink alcohol with kids around) and talking. sometimes they'd be working on an old tractor that they know was not going to work but still tried to make it work.

gina chuckles. "do you mind if i use your bathroom. i just finished---"

"yeah, yeah. go ahead. you know where the bathroom is. my turn next."

gina leaves her boots outside, enters your house without any more words, leaving mick in confusion as he watches his older sister making your house like her second house. just like how you did to theirs.

"is she always like that?"

you smile guiltily.

"how come you're still close with her and not with me?"

"i don't know, mick. i guess it's easier when you're always home."

mick doesn't like that sound. he's home as much as he can when there's no race. his manager tries to accept less interviews, appointments, photoshoots to free his schedule and let him home because he understands mick's family situation. and when he's home, he is home. and yet, he never stumbled into you before.

mick enters your house and the sense of familiarity hits him. every precious moment he created with you and the house when he was a little boy hits his memory core. the kitchen where you'd all eat cereal despite it being pass breakfast time. the silly arts on the wall are still there. and then there's the living room where all of you used to watch cartoons. your father travels alot when he was a ferrari mechanic but somehow always manage to reserve this old house foor the sake of the memories. miracle.

then mick sees your father sitting on the single chair, staring into nothing. mick glances at you.

"ever since he... you know... he doesn't like noise. he hates the tv because he says he cannot understand whatever the hell they're saying. though i think he is particularly quiet today is because i was not home early."

"mum says you'd walk with him on your off-day."

"that's true. but in the evening. i--- uh--- i usually woke up late on my off-day."

as if somethng clicks in his mind, mick's eyes catch an abandoned set of bowl and mug on your kitchen island. "you just finished your breakfast, aren't you?"

you sheepishly smile at him. you know mick and his family are early risers. maybe it's in their genes but it's also might be because they're athletes and with their training schedules, diet, mental health they're trained to sleep early to wake up early the next morning.

because it doesn't feel foreign inside your house so without being offered, mick takes a seat in front of your father, you in front of him so you can see the day his blue eyes dilate with hope as he opens his mouth to greet your father.

"good morning, herr erberhardt."

when your father looks at mick, there is the smiliar confusion he has with you. the first time felt like thousands of knives impaling you and though it still hurts to see the same unknown look on his face when he looked at you this morning but since you have accepted it, you stopped feeling sorry for yourself. and it amazes you with how fast you could accept.

"who are you?"

"i'm mick. you know my father michael."

"michael?"

"schumacher?" mick's face falls but he doesn't look hurt that your father didn't recognise him and his father. "you were his best friend and mechanic."

"oh."

mick quickly pulls out his mobile phone. you watch as mick presses some icons for a while until you finally understand what he's doing. he opens his camera roll, picks one picture and shows it to your father. you lean closer to look at the picture. and though mick didn't slightly turn his phone for you, you can see the picture clearly. your father and mick's. both of them are wearing the familiar red t-shirt.

your father definitely have tons of pictures of him at work but not this one. based on the quality, you would know that it's from one of the least photographers who was allowed to enter the paddock back then.

"see. this is him. the one on the right. and this is you. it was both of your last day with ferrari."

you weren't there on your father's last day with ferrari but you remember him coming home with lots of gifts from brasil. and you still have them in a big box in the garage where you keep good ol' stuffs there.

mick continues to tell stories to your father. and it was at this exact moment that you know why you weren't allowed to follow him to brasil because he knew there were having a farewell party and he's going to get drunk and not able to take care of you. maybe it's better to find this out as an adult because otherwise, you wouldn't want to speak to your father again if you found this out when you were little.

it looks like mick doesn't care at all that your father doesn't remember anything that he's telling as your father listens to them without showing any interest at all. mick keeps his composure well and you wonder how he does it until you remember that his father is sick ever since he was 14. when you were 14, you still had your father to help you with a guitar.

gina comes into the living room, smelling like your shower gel and hair shampoo, when mick is telling a story about him and sebastian. and you excuse yourself because it's your turn to take a shower. and you could've missed mick glancing at you if you hadn't turn towards them at the living room.

when it's time for lunch, gina was first to be seated at the dining table, too hungry from her session at schmidt's barn. everyone eats only when everyone is seated at the dining table---including annie---and gina is treating herself as if she's at her family's house. not like you mind though because her presence brings a little joy in the house.

mick on the other hand is embarrassed with his sister's behaviour even though he too is used to having lunches and dinners at your house. but that was several years ago. to be able to do this again feels like he's starting over with you and your family. but maybe with gina there he can get used to this sooner.

everyone is doing their own part at the dining table. one asks questions. one answers the questions. one more person makes fun of the person who asked the question because she likes to make fun of her little brother. the late-30 woman is keeping an eye on an old man who is feeding himself slowly. for a moment, everything looks so perfect at the dining table until the old man stops eating, leaves the dining table and starts hunting for something.

four of you stop eating immediately. everyone wears a worried look on their faces as you watch your father looking around the house for something. he stops in front of the tv where the coffee table sits. he upturns the rattan bowl, rummaging through its content scattering on the table. then he takes out everything inside the sofa remote holder. when he didn't find what he's looking for, he moves towards the tv cabinet.

he opens the tv cabinet, takes out every cd, dvd, book, extension wire, more remote controls and dust. you hear him mumbling something but he still hasn't found it.

"dad, what are you looking for?"

you dad doesn't answer you.

"dad, do you need help?"

"ma! where's my... where's my..."

mick knows you have no one except your father, though when you were little, diana (your nanny) was in the picture and annie came only when your father was diagnosed with alzheimer's. your father's mother died before you even existed. maybe mick's father knew her but not the next generation. now it makes you wonder how far back his memory is deleted from his brain.

but it seems that even by calling for help from his mother, he doesn't know what he's looking for. you get up from your dining table and approaches your dad. you try to tell that it's okay to forget what he's looking for now and that he can try and find it later when he remembers. the house is already a mess like there was a thief here but your father is not giving up.

"dad, why don't you sit down for a minute. i'm sure it'll come back to you if you calm down."

"no. i can't," he says. "it's important."

"why don't you tell me what you're looking for and i'll help find it?"

"i--- i don't remember what i'm looking for but i will know when i find it."

frustrated, your dad starts hitting himself. this is not the first time, though. it has happened a few times before. though it's only been a year since your father was diagnosed but this disease is eating him way faster than the doctors claimed.

while you try to stop him form beating himself (you getting beaten in the process), annie jumps out of her seat to get the seductive in her room while gina plays a soft, melancholy music in the background. once again, mick is left in horror as he watches everything unfolding itself in front of his eyes. what's more surprising is how his sister looks like she knows what she's doing.

mick certainly doesn't know what to do in the situation and how to offer any help. it's hurting him to watch your father hitting himself just because he cannot remember what he's looking for. and seeing you gets beaten... by the time your father calms down, he watches you slumping onto the ground with a loud thud. he sees your eyes wet. you look tired despite the fact that you just had your lunch.

gina helps annie carrying your father to his room while mick approaches you.

"hey. are you okay?"

you feel mick's hand squeezes your hand gently. you hear his voice breaking though you did not understand why. you nod your head to answer mick's question.

"annie and gina already brought him to bed. do you want to take a walk?"

"okay," you answer without actually understanding what mick was asking you.

mick stands up and pulls you up with him. mick helps you put on your jacket and shoes after doing the same for himself. you're still too tired from tending your father to speak and to think so while your mind is empty, you let mick leads you out. you follow wherever mick is taking you, talking hand-in-hand in silent, looking at the greens and blues and yellows. some cars pass by but you don't care.

"i'm sorry you have to see that," you finally speak after 30 minutes of walk.

"your father doesn't bother me," mick says.

you made a sound that you didn't know it was coming from your throat.

"gina did."

"why?"

"i don't know. maybe the fact that gina knows about your father. not me. and the fact that she knows what to do when herr erberhardt starts misbehaving tells me that she knows for awhile now."

"i'm sorry, mick. i just didn't want you to worry about me."

"so you told gina not to tell me?"

you sigh. hate to hear the irritation in mick's voice because you know you're wrong. he is your best friend. if augustine hadn't cross the road yesterday and you hadn't almost hit her, you probably is still not ready to tell mick about your father because you're just insecure with yourself now. you lost your dream job while mick is striving. people can't tell you that you're wrong to feel insecure about that.

mick knows not to want to argue with you especially when you're tired, so he drops the topic. that's okay, he thinks. he can ask you next time he sees you. it not tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, he has next week. because he will be seeing you again next week when sebastian comes to visit him and his family even if you didn't bring your father (he hopes you will) because you're close with sebastian like how he is closed with sebastian. but either way, mick knows that he will want to keep seeing you for as long as he can work this out.

when both of you get back to your house, gina is sitting at the front porch to wait for mick to get back home together. annie is nowhere to be seen but you bet she's inside, cleaning up the house after the hazard.

"don't forget next week, okay? i'll ask mum to cook your favourite cheesecake," mick says while hugging you.

"and tell us if you need anything. you know we're always ready help you whenever you need us."

you nod your head and smile at gina. "thanks."

when the siblings are out of your vision, you turn around where your house is. the house that holds thousands of memories and one who doesn't remember them at all.

part 2

#mick schumacher #ms47 #f1 fanfiction #mick schumcher x reader #mic schumacher x reader #mick schumacher fanfic #haas #mercedes #ferrari #alzheimer's disease #mental illness #michael schumacher #sebastian vettel #sv5

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calacuspr · 1 year

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Calacus Monthly Hit & Miss – The FA & Amir Khan

Every month we look at the best and worst communicators in the sports world from the last few weeks.

HIT - THE FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION & THE ALZHEINMER’S SOCIETY

So much has been written in recent years about the risks of brain injury caused by head impacts in rugby and latterly by football.

A number of high profile deaths has prompted concerns about the long-term health of footballers who head the ball regularly.

Former England and West Bromwich Albion and England striker, Jeff Astle, died of dementia in 2002, aged just 59 with a coroner ruling that he was killed by his work as a footballer having scored a large number of headed goals.

Since then, a number of former footballers have been diagnosed with, or died of, dementia, and many of them have had that diagnosis linked to their careers.

Former Leeds and England defender Jack Charlton died in 2020 while Nobby Stiles died in 2020 and Ray Wilson in 2018 – all suffering from dementia. Jack’s brother, Manchester United legend Sir Bobby Charlton, is also a sufferer.

No wonder a group of former football, rugby league and rugby union players have been taking legal action claiming they suffered brain injuries playing their respective sports including relatives of Stiles.

Some research undertaken by the Karolinska Institute in Sweden, published in the Lancet Public Health journal, found that footballers are 50% more likely to develop dementia than the rest of the population.

Its research found that 8.3 per cent of outfield footballers were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias, compared to 5.1 per cent of the control group.

The study compared the health records of 6,000 elite footballers and more than 56,000 non-footballers between 1924 and 2019 and suggested that outfield footballers were 50 per cent more likely to develop dementia than the rest of the population.

The data shows concerning trends, so it is no surprise that in England, the Football Association is trialling banning children under 12 from heading the ball in certain grassroots competitions and leagues. If successful, it will apply to the International Football Association Board for a law change to remove heading for under-12s altogether.

Brain injury charity Headway criticised UEFA for not allowing concussion substitutes in the Women's Champions League after Arsenal and England's Beth Mead suffered a head injury against Ajax.

Luke Griggs, Headway’s chief executive, said: “It is important that football is willing to evolve as our understanding of the long-term implications of repeated sub-concussive impacts increases.

“We know enough now to make balanced, sensible adjustments to limit exposure to head impacts.” This includes “limiting of heading practice drills for adults, and complete bans on children heading the ball as they move through key stages in their physical and neurological development,” he added.

Perhaps, then, the official charity partnership between England’s Football Association and dementia charity The Alzheimer’s Society is a natural fit.

Recent activity around the England Lionesses’ match against Australia, to raise awareness and funds for dementia research and support by encouraging fans to donate, share their memories, and wear blue in support of the cause was executed brilliantly.

An estimated 850,000 people live with dementia in the UK (the writer also lost his Mum to dementia a few years ago), which is likely to increase to above 1 million by 2025.

By using the power of sport to drive positive social change, the campaign was able to create a sense of shared purpose and belonging among fans and players alike.

Most notably, players on both the England and Australia teams played without names on a third of their shirts to highlight the fact that one in three people could forget the name of their favourite player or treasured football memory.

Different players wore the nameless shirts after half-time, to further draw attention to the confusion and memory loss often experienced by those living with dementia, before being auctioned.

Fans were encouraged to engage with the stunt using the hashtag #TheForgottenThird.

Kate Lee, Alzheimer’s Society CEO, said: “Right now, there are too many people facing dementia alone and without the right support. With The FA’s backing and support, we can reach more people than ever before, and we can reach them sooner.

“The sport has an unrivalled ability to bring people and communities together, which is why we’re asking fans up and down the country to get behind this important cause and donate whatever they can, so no-one must face dementia alone.

“We hope by making this simple alternation with this gesture and getting both teams to show a sign of solidarity, we can put an important spotlight on just how much dementia can devastate lives.

“I hope it makes a massive impact from the stands to screens, inspiring people to donate so we can reach even more people with our life-changing support, which helps people through some of the hardest and most frightening times.”

Ahead of the game, 11-year-old Eve interviewed the Lionesses to discuss what football means to them and their experiences with dementia.

The international fixture was hosted at Brentford FC’s Gtech Community Stadium and saw the unveiling of a striking mural by sports correspondent Carrie Brown.

The large-scale art installation, designed and created by MurWalls, captured key moments of England Women’s football – with fans being encouraged to add their most unforgettable memories to the mural.

England coach Sarina Wiegman said: “Tonight was a chance for both sets of players to come together in recognition of the many people living with dementia and their families and friends who help them.

“I’m very proud to see our players again continue to use their platform to show support for important causes – I hope it inspires fans to donate and support Alzheimer’s Society’s important work.”

The social impact of the campaign, however, was significant. Over the past two seasons, the partnership has raised over £400,000, with thousands more fans, players and staff now knowing where to go to access vital dementia support.

The Alzheimer Society has created a sense of community and purpose around the cause, inspiring thousands of football fans to donate, share their stories, and engage with the issue of dementia in a meaningful way.

MISS – AMIR KHAN

Calacus had the pleasure of working with Amir Khan, who was supporting one of our clients, a few years ago.

Polite, helpful and professional, he was great with the attending media and helpful at every turn.

His boxing career speaks for itself. Khan unified world titles at super-lightweight and faced pound-for-pound stars Saul 'Canelo' Alvarez and Terence Crawford during a 40-fight career featuring 34 wins and six defeats.

He has also undertaken a great deal of charity work, launching his own Foundation supporting local business in his hometown of Bolton and disasters in the Philippines and the Indian Ocean Tsunami.

But Khan’s life has also been shrouded in controversy – with his private life being a popular topic for the tabloid newspapers as well as accusations regarding possible homophobic language and an armed robbery that saw Khan lose his expensive watch in East London last year.

In what proved to be his last fight, Khan lost to Kell Brook in the sixth round of their hotly anticipated bout in Manchester in February 2023.

Soon afterwards, he announced his retirement. "It's time to hang up my gloves," Khan, who turned professional in 2005, said on Twitter.

However, with the court case ongoing after the armed robbers were caught, Khan suffered a huge blow to his reputation when the UK Anti-Doping Agency (UKAD) banned him from all sport for two years.

The statement from UKAD Chief Executive Jane Rumble read: “This case serves as a reminder that UKAD will diligently pursue Anti-Doping Rule Violations in order to protect clean sport.

“Strict liability means Athletes are ultimately responsible for what they ingest and for the presence of any Prohibited Substances in a Sample. It is important that all Athletes and their support personnel, whatever level they are competing at, take their anti-doping responsibilities seriously. Not doing so risks damaging not only an Athlete’s career, but also undermining public confidence in clean sport.”

Khan had been informed that after his fight with Brook, samples had produced an Adverse Analytical Finding (AAF) for ostarine and after a hearing and an independent tribunal, despite proving that his usage was unintentional, Khan was suspended retrospectively.

In reality, while it has an impact on his sporting integrity – albeit minimal because of the small trace of ostarine in his system – his reputation has taken an unexpected knock.

UKAD’s statement indicated that Khan was aware of the verdict in late February this year, although they waited until early April to make the news public.

Armed with that information, Khan should have had a statement prepared explaining his version of events up to and including the ban – and kept in closer contact with UKAD to ascertain when the news was being released.

His failure to do that meant that a scheduled interview on Sky News with Kay Burley was hastily cancelled – while he was already getting ready in the studio.

Without the support of PR advisers, it gave the impression that Khan was blindsided by the timing of the announcement and unprepared when it came out.

Khan had the opportunity at Sky News to calmly give his side of the story – which he could and should have mentally prepared for in the weeks after discovering the UKAD verdict, let alone in the months since his adverse sample had been discovered.

There are occasionally times when “no comment” is the best approach, although those are increasingly rare given the media’s ability to either find alternative experts or use the ‘empty chair’ tactic to add further humiliation to a story.

But if Khan had been advised and supported properly, he could have addressed the situation head-on, with confidence and a clear message which both explained what had happened and what he planned to do about it.

As it was, he was ambushed by another Sky camera crew outside the Sky studios at Millbank, appearing to want to get away and then giving a confused and half-baked explanation which did more harm than good.

There was no manager, nor a PR adviser to support him and the fact that he said that he would write a statement shows how little thought had gone into dealing with this.

During his interview, Khan said: “I never cheated. I’m a retired fighter. At the same time you can see by my performance, my performance against Kell Brook wasn’t the best, I lost the fight. If I went in and knocked Kell Brook out it’s different.

“I’ve never cheated in my life. I’m the one who wanted the testing on the fight and also the amount that was in my system could have been by shaking people’s hand.

“I don’t know what drug was in my system. I’m a retired fighter so I’ve got a two-year ban now it’s quite strange and funny that they’ve rang me, I’m already retired anyway. No comeback plans at all but I’ve never cheated and I never will, that’s not something I would do.”

Promoter Ben Shalom, whose company Boxxer was representing Khan at the time of the Brook fight, admitted that he had no idea about the doping offence or subsequent tribunal.

“I called the board [British Boxing Board of Control] today when I saw it on social media and said, ‘Do you know about this?’ and they said, ‘I only found out yesterday,'” Shalom said.

“We didn’t even know there was a process. We didn’t even know [Khan] failed a test. It’s completely insane. And it’s dangerous.

“There should be no getting out of failing a drug test. It doesn’t matter whether it’s intentional, doesn’t matter what it was. That’s it. A strict liability ban. And it needs to be governed by a world governing body not multiple different people having different opinions with different rules. It is just communication and it’s bullshit. I’m shocked.”

Khan may have had no plans to return to the ring, but he could have minimised the damage to his reputation caused by this doping offence simply by having the foresight to prepare for the inevitable media interest when the story broke.

His initial response further underlines the importance of preparation for every scenario rather than wait until bad news comes out.

Notably, later that week, Khan did a sit-down interview with Sky Sports, having clearly taken the time to do the preparatory work which should have happened way earlier.

During the interview he said: “I don't know how it got into my system, maybe shaking hands, maybe sharing a drink with somebody. It was a big shock to me.

"It's such a tiny amount that was never of any benefit at all. I don't know how it got in there but I should've maybe taken a little bit more precaution. I'm very sorry about it.

“I can honestly say that I've always been a clean fighter. I've always been the type of person who's always asked to be drug tested.

“I don't want to be remembered for something like this, that'll hurt me a lot. If people remember me for just this incident that's happened then I think it'll always upset me because I know it was never done on purpose.

“Hopefully people believe me and maybe take more precaution, especially the young and upcoming fighters can learn from me how mistakes can happen.”

Time will tell whether the label of ‘drug cheat’ is used in reference to Khan, undoing so much of the good he has done for society and the sport of boxing.

His initial shambolic response to the drugs verdict revelations underlines further the need for crisis communications preparation.

Being reactive instead of proactive sets the narrative tone which is often tough to recover from.

#Murwalls #England women #Women in Football #women's football #Brentford #Leah Williamson #Alzheimer's disease #Alzheimer's Society #Matildas #Amir Khan #UKAD #Doping Scandal #Sky News #Kell Brook #WBO #Beth Mead #Arsenal

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