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kawarikisaki · 9 months

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I hope you’re including Aoko because I really like their interactions would really if the admiration wasn’t just one sided.

Okay So this one is gonna get weird. And there's going to be a lot more stuff that feels like guesswork here. Even though Aoko and Hakuba are native to the same story, we don't really see them interact much, at least not in super meaningful ways.

Anyway, I'm going to start by saying Aoko is smart. She's often put into a position where she's the butt of a joke or playing the fool, but she is established from the beginning to be very intelligent, at the very least she's shown to be able to keep up with Kaito academically.

So time for another headcanon with barely any substantiation- their class is an advanced class. After all we already know that Aoko and Kaito are both very smart, and Hakuba is also smart and was very intentionally transferred into their class.

But more on the relationship between Aoko and Hakuba.

To begin with Aoko is a fan of Hakuba, but mostly just on a shallow level, she doesn't give off the impression of having been a fan for a long time, but she is interested enough after seeing him on tv to start quoting his catch phrases (which changes a bit depending on what we're taking as canon, with it being "Why did you do it?" in the original manga, and "the truth has come to light" in the 1412 anime).

Despite this in their first actual interaction she's not all that excited when he flirts with her- talking with her friend later she doesn't even really acknowledge that she was asked on a date, just that if Hakuba wins the bet she'd be going to a concert with him. And I'd like to think that her reaction is that way because she saw the original offer for what it was- not a legitimate attempt to woo her but rather just a move to rile up Kaito.

Every move that Hakuba makes in that introductory chapter is directed at Kaito, but that doesn't mean he's just ignoring Aoko. Perhaps this is me having an idyllic view of him, but I think he's very empathetic; he sees Aoko and he sees that she's like him in that she's kind of forced into the shadow of her father, he sees her interaction with Kaito and is able to understand that she wants to go with Kaito but with the way things were playing out Kaito was going to get away with acting like he didn't care... and that would have only hurt Aoko. So what does he do? He interferes; he puts himself in the villain role and shows Kaito 'if you don't care about her then sooner or later someone will come along that does', and he does it this way for the dual purpose of antagonizing Kaito (who he already suspects may be Kid) and also trying to help Aoko. And during the heist he takes it very seriously, commiting to the bit as it were. Did I explain that last point well? I don't think so. Is it a bit of a stretch? Absolutely. Do I care? Not really. This is how I see it.

The next time Hakuba is taking the stage (A Gift from Akako) he's also very much focused on Kaito not Aoko, which makes sense, Magic Kaito is Kaito's story after all so of course we really only ever see Hakuba and Aoko interact when it's serving Kaito's narrative.

But what we do start to see is Aoko and Hakuba seeming to get along well in just a casual way. Additionally in that case there's a clear change in Aoko, previously she's always stayed on the sidelines just waiting to hear the news of results, but this time she actually requests to come along to help catch Kid- and I would like to claim that the one responsible for this change in her is Hakuba. Perhaps she sees that Hakuba is inviting Kaito and opens up the idea that she can be there too, or maybe she thinks that if the son of a police superintendent can be there then the daughter of the inspector on site can be there, or maybe she has an inkling of Kaito's identity and is coming along to help... whatever it is the one that gave her the push is Hakuba, and after that heist she starts showing up at them more regularly.

The two are both present again for the Dark Knight heist, but unfortunately they don't even so much as look at each other, so no notable interactions there... Which brings us to Midnight Crow.

When Akako and Hakuba are both approaching Kaito with their own thinly veiled 'hey I know you're Kid, good luck, I'm actually rooting for you here' bits, Aoko comes up and once again plays the fool changing the flow of the conversation and- doing almost the exact same thing they were by giving Kaito the exact information that he needed through a barely connected anecdote. (Yes I think that at this point Aoko also knows, and just is fully acting oblivious.) And that's all she does in Midnight Crow in the manga, however, in the 1412 anime there's a bit more; she also forms a detective team "to catch Kid", that motive ringing somewhat hollow when she herself said that she was on neither side, and Hakuba admits that he's relieved that Kid didn't lose. The purpose of this team doesn't really seem like it's genuinely to catch Kid but rather Aoko making an excuse for the four of them to be able to talk directly about Kid without there being any suspicions. Then once again they're both present in Sun Halo but don't interact with each other at all.

So what does all of this tell us? They're friends. In a very normal way.

Aoko seems to respect Hakuba's skill. Early on she bonds with him over their mutual distaste for Kid, but overtime that changes and they still care a lot about each other without needing there to be an undercurrent of aggression directed at Kid in order for them to see eye to eye. And Hakuba for his part clearly enjoys spending time with her. And absolutely cares about her feelings given that even though he knows Kaito is Kid he never tries to tell Aoko that, not wanting to to potentially hurt her.

And that's about the gist of it. This one kinda feels like I'm saying a lot of words but not really expressing much... a lot less focused than the other rambles I've done so far but eh.... it's a less focused topic. When I try to simplify things down to the facts of what we see- well these two barely even interact with one another, but even so the vibe is that they're friends, which is good because I get the feeling that Hakuba doesn't really have many of those. Anyway.

There is one more thing that I want to bring up about the connections between Aoko and Hakuba, and for that I'm going to talk about Nonchalant Lupin.

Nonchalant Lupin being the sort of one-shot/prototype that got polished and eventually evolved into Magic Kaito. I'd recommend reading it if you haven't but for now I'm gonna give the cliff notes version just in case.

The one shot stars Lupin Kaito a young magician that steals for monetary gain, Holmes Aoko the kind hearted and self sacrificing detective love interest, and the antagonist Gurikouji Ken who is the son of a mob family who blackmails Aoko into marrying him using pictures taken of Kaito in the act of stealing.

Now obviously Lupin Kaito became Kuroba Kaito, and Holmes Aoko became Nakamori Aoko. And a lot of people would say that Ken is the prototype Hakuba, which I think there is some truth to that, but not the whole story- because I instead propose that both Holmes Aoko and Gurikouji Ken were the bases for Hakuba.

Nakamori Aoko got Holmes's role as childhood friend and love interest, and Hakuba actually got the role of detective and the morality from Holmes while taking an aggressive approach and cocky confidence from Ken. Not that Holmes is cleanly split up between the two of them, but even so I like to think that the Aoko and Hakuba we know were at least in part cut from the same cloth, and that's why even though we barely ever see them interact they do genuinely fit well together in a way that just feels correct.

Does that make sense to anyone but me? Who knows.

#dcmk #Hakuba Saguru #Nakamori Aoko #mk #nonchalant lupin #yeah this one really is a lot more vague and unfocused #There really isn't a lot to work with when it comes to interactions between them #and I'm gonna be honest #Akako is at a similar level #a lot of words just kinda reinforcing one very simple point.#rambling #asks

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skylerskyhigh · 1 year

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Working on chapter 7 of "Your Dream"

I'll work on this on and off due to life. But here's a small snippet of what I have! Also, can anyone guess what song I have planned?

"Careful now," Leon said in faux softness, grinning at the Kraang with a look worthy of a villain. "We don't want you to spoil the fun."

Subprime sputtered for a moment before he glared. "You got lucky! I've studied you! I have seen what you can do and it is pathetic! Even with the power you obtained, you are mere untrained fools! The threats in this world are child's play! You will be easy to eradicate! Once I find this world's Kraang and the armor, we will work together and end your pitiful lives!"

"Kraang?" Donnie repeated in surprise.

"Dark armor?" Raph echoed with wide eyes.

Subprime smirked, delighted by their shock. "Yes. Once I finish you off, I will use the blue one to open the portal and get this world's Kraang and Shredder by our side. You children will not be able to stop the might of Kraang-!"

They burst into uproarious laughter again.

"Are you- Are you serious?!" April wheezed, wrapping her arm around her stomach. "You're not serious right?"

"Is Raph hearing things? Raph thinks he's hearing things!" Raph laughed with a hand to his head.

"The Shredder? The Kraang?!" Mikey broke down laughing again, slapping his leg.

"I can't breathe!" Donnie wheezed, nearly falling to the floor with how much he was laughing.

"You must be joking," CJ said with an incredulous grin, his eye twitching as he stares at the alien in disbelief. "Is- is this a time travel thing again? Did you accidentally make a time portal instead of a universe-hopping one?"

Cass huffed, checking her nails with a frown. "As much as it is an insult to my former master- as if he would ever join the likes of you- you are too late."

"What?" Subprime gaped at them.

"Hahaha! Aw buddy, did you stop after season one?" Leon asked in a mocking tone like he was talking to a child. "Did your connection cut off? Or did you watch a few episodes and decided you knew everything about us?"

"What?" Subprime glared at him, confused and offended.

Leon leans forward and flashed him a grin. "Hey friend, that thing about us being 'untrained fools'? That was two years ago."

Subprime's face falls.

"Going on three," Donnie added, holding his hand up to display three fingers.

"The Shredder?" Leon splayed his hands like a magician showcasing a new trick. "Gone."

"The Kraang?" Leonidas waves his hand like he's revealing a card trick. "Poof."

"We've stopped every threat that came our way," Raph grins, standing taller with pride as he grips his tonfas tighter.

"Big or small," April tilts her head with a smirk, her green bat bursting into flames.

"And we won every time baby!" Mikey twirls the chain of his kusari-fundo.

"The only pathetic thing here is you," Donnie chuckles, resting his bo staff against the back of his neck.

"I almost feel bad for what we're about to do," Leon hums. He reached behind him and pulls out his two odachi swords. "Buuut not bad enough. See, we got newcomers to show off to and you've been a real thorn by their side. Invading their home. Attacking them countlessly. Refusing to die like a cockroach."

They look over to the newcomers who straighten at the sudden attention.

Leon grins and winked. "And they've given us the go-ahead to kick your butt."

He turns back to the enraged-looking Kraang. "Third, you're a Kraang. And to be honest-"

His eyes flashed bright blue and his face briefly twists into a furious snarl. "We've had enough Kraang for an entire lifetime."

The air grows electrified with building energy. His family all share the same sentiment.

Subprime stares in growing nervousness.

"So let's give them all a show while we treat you like the dog toy you are," Leonidas clapped his hands. "Donnie, give our alternates the best seats please."

"On it!"

#your dream rottmnt #rotmnt #2018 tmnt #his world rottmnt #his world verse

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phoebehalliwell · 3 years

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i don't know if i'm the only one but i've often wondered exactly how hard it was to convince julian mcmahon to stick around for season five. they took his character, a feared powerful half demon and made him into the butt of the joke and the whole joke was basically ha ha look at this lovestruck fool obsessing and suicidal because he's got nothing to live with but can't die. ain't that funny? like how the fuck did the writers sell that to julian is my question

i find the entirety of season five just so goddamn insulting to cole's character. hell the fact that he got possessed by the source and this was treated as him turning evil instead of a shitty situation that got out of hand. like it wasn't bad enough he was villified for something that he wasn't even in control of half the time they couldn't even just vanquish the dude, they dragged it on and ridiculed him. i hate it here

lol. i mean. yeah. i really. like. it's like. like okay we all know cole was a fan favorite right and he & phoebe were really meant to like. be the sex appeal to the show no one else was really filling that role they were charmed's Sexy Couple tm. so like. in a sense i get the notion ab wanting to keep him around. because everyone loves him! he's bad boy! he adds this dangerous edge love balancing on a knife's point stuff like that. so like. that being said. u wanna keep him around. i just like Do Not Get how you opt to keep him around Like That. tbh. as w all things. i am blaming brad kern. i think it all really started to tank s4 (well, with mortal cole, but like) with source cole. that was bad, but i know it was part of the push to have like long form season drama character driven plots conflict between the sisters themselves it just like. sucked ass and balls imo. like i mean the fact they had to do the source as a possession just so they could get demon cole and lover cole,,, i mean it speaks to how stupid it was. the fact that u wanted cole to be a villain So Bad but the only way to do it was like. possession? sign that u should not do that like. like. like. i don't know how we're supposed to feel ab that.

and then. the vanquish. not sticking. i think like. i think they probably had the vague idea that cole having a mortal soul would not be able to be vanquished properly right? like. demons get destroyed into nothingness, but the human part of him lives, so i think they probably knew that was what they were going to do, that's what they sold to jmm and like. we sowed those seeds in the s4 finale w his ghost whispers and materialization. so i think like. they knew they wanted to Not Kill Him because he was such a fan favorite. maybe there was an intention to do a will they won't they variant of phole? and then. of course. there was the whole idea of paige cole, which, as the rumor goes, was meant to kick of in the s5 pilot, but both julian and rose shut it down. but i feel like. assuming that's true (which i 100% do assume that's true absolutely and i'm not endorsing it i don't think it would have been good or well written or whatever but like. 👀. you know?) but yeah. assuming that's true, i feel like that piece really speaks to what their designs for cole were: man meat. he was meant to be their male sex appeal and they weren't going to be picky about the narrative itself as long as he was still kicking.

but like honestly? i mean i shouldn't have to say this it's a given: it's not enough to just put your sexy man in front of a camera and call it a day like imo even a man who is not sexy can be made appealing through the power of the narrative. like, to level with you, i never really ever shipped phole nor found cole attractive at all like ever, but i can see like the fucking support beams you know i can see the infrastructure on which this whole thing can you know take on a life of its own in the earlier seasons because they very consciously put it there!! people shipped it for a reason n not just because they were two people standing next to each other on a tv screen i mean hello almost sinking a dagger in her heart but can't do it sends her away back to her sisters because he can't act out on his evil plan!! that's something!!!! that's so very something and they gave us Nothing they gave us nothing in the later seasons. and still expected it to fly. like. tbh julian was probably just like unwittingly duped like dragged along for the ride s5 which is likely why he was vanquished halfway through because i'd imagine roughly three episode in he went okay! um. what's this? guys? what's this? and then they said cole<3 you know he like knew he had to get the hell outta dodge.

anyways. if i were to resuscitate phole in s5. which like. to level w u. i wouldn’t. because they would need a lot of one-on-one screentime and we already spent so much of s4 splitting up the sisterhood in the name of phole i wouldn’t really want to continue with that per se But. if i were. this ask is getting long it’s under a cut

something something demon of the week something something realms the point is cole is there when he very much shouldn’t be and like. he and phoebe get knocked into a different plane. so their bodies are fine and at the manor, but their minds are elsewhere and they need to solve whatever it is in order to get back. and we’ll say there’s a fuckin deadline because the girls need the power of three and right now they are sealed off from accessing it. and you know phoebe’s pretty fuckin pissed with cole because you know. he dragged her down to hell and she almost gave birth to the antichrist. actually source’s heir might be fun to keep around in this au idk. the point is phoebe’s pissed at cole and cole’s pissed at phoebe because phoebe’s pissed at him but he literally didn’t have control over himself in that era and he’s not getting the space he needs to justify himself because phoebe keeps stepping over him. but they gotta work together to get out of here. and were kinda doing enemies to lover 2.0 but like now they have History. of course we’ve gotta do a moment where cole has idk done something normal and phoebe’s so riled up that she does something rash and almost dies cole saves her like catches her bridal style or something faces inches apart breathing heavy and there’s a moment. like a we’re back in early s4 moment. which phoebe immediately breaks from and like walls going flying up but just for a moment there we see it it’s obvious: she’s still in love with cole. which then segues into an argument because like. cole wasn’t sure. right? he wasn’t sure if phoebe now just genuinely hated him. but now he knows right he knows better now so why are you acting like this? why are you taking every opportunity to shut me down to shut me out? why are you acting like you hate me when you know that’s not true right that whole thing to phoebe who gets the Classic because i do hate you. i hate you for what you did to me for what you did to my family and i hate you because i loved you so much and you destroyed me and i hate you because no matter how hard i try that love is still there and i know that for a second if i stop hating you i’m going to love you just like before and you can destroy me again and i hate myself because i’d let you because i love you. you know? big speech. big reveal. i have No Idea what piper and paige are up to right now. the point is. after this big confession we get the lull the cards are on the table what the fuck do we do now which is when cole Finally gets to opportunity to say he was actually possessed by the source and manipulated by the seer and the only thing that kept him holding on was his love for her and after she became queen of hell after he saw what the source had done to her he knew it had to end he doesn’t hold it against her for vanquishing him right this is where we exonerate all wrongs we’re just saying anything bad that has happened ever? scrub it. it’s the source’s fault. cole has no resentment against phoebe. he loves her a healthy, normal, non-possessive amount, so much so He Loves Her So Much he let her kill him and like honestly would probably do it again. idk and then they make out or something. and then they’re out of whatever plane they were in by the end of the episode. And Then we get a buddy cop episode with paige and cole where they bond and also sort through everything that happened there. slowly but surely. and then we do a real phole wedding a super small affair in the manor lowkey bc i hated their wedding episode it blowed we give them a good one. wallah <3

#charmed #cole turner #phoebe x cole #💌

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fishyfod · 3 years

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Blackadder Goes Forth

Boom Boom Boom Boom!

Boom Boom Boom.

Boom Boom Boom Boom!

Boom Boom Boom?

The best season by far, and one that’s honestly chilling. Arguably this is in no small part due to the more recent time-period that’s far more familiar to us today.

Cast-wise, we have five regulars: Rowan Atkinson as Captain Blackadder, Toni Robinson as Private Bladrick, Hugh Laurie as Lieutenant George, Tim McInnerny as Captain Darling and Stephen Fry as General Melchett. If Blackadder III excelled in one-on-ones, this season blew it out of the park, especially the returning dynamic between Blackadder, Baldrick and George.

Blackadder’s character always read like a cynical commentary on the absurd of his time-period, trying to cheat the system to act selfishly, with moderate amounts of success and failure. And on the surface it might look like this is his story this season too, because what is defecting in wartime if not selfish? Yet when set during WW1, it doesn’t seem like it, does it? He does not wish for more, to advance beyond his station; he wishes to stay alive, to leave the trenches. It contextualizes his character’s struggle as bleak.

This is definitely Baldrick’s best season. Yes, many of the jokes are rooted in his disgusting nature and prop humor, but expanding his speaking role even further really sells him as another character, rather than the more sidekick role he had before. He represents the poor and downtrodden, and although before he just seemed unfortunate - just someone to have bellow Blackadder - in the context of the war, he’s a poor unfortunate fellow, the everyday man caught up in the war he can’t understand.

George is the upperclassman with too many connection and far too much patriotism in his bones. Though he’s always supposed to be the daft one, I like the small parts where he realized Blackadder’s fooling him, and Hugh’s acting is absurdly good. No one’s having more fun than him on set. But like in season 3, perhaps he isn’t so different from Baldrick; he’s blinded by the glory to realize the almost certain death he faces. It’s also maddening to listen to him spout out propaganda and believe it full-heartedly.

Darling is clearly the butt of all jokes, although unlike in S1 and S2, here he’s a rival of Blackadder as well. It makes him antagonist, and I think Tim’s more suited to this role than Percy. It also leads me to my biggest complaint, which is how often his character is joked about because of gay undertones, which is quite unfortunate to watch nowadays.

Melchett is amazing, especially with the larger role he obtained this season. He’s an upper class twit, a subject of envy in the luxury he posseses away from the trenches, with a maddening jolly air about him. But where George I want to pity, Melchett is mad; how can he still send soldiers to their doom, how can he act as if he’s still in touch with the world? He’s hilarious, yet in the larger context I can’t help but feel he’s the true villain.

Almost every joke this season was chosen with the utmost care, and all of them stick the landing. The combination of mockery, the prop humor, and of course the witty lines and small jabs are all spot on. I’m also amazed with how frequently the hopelessness of the war and the absurdism of the army shines through; think the court-martial trial or the twenty-minuters.

And the ending is perfect. It’s tragic, and all the characters seem to give off a sendoff, trying to joke and turn the situation hopeful. And it’s almost unexpected at times, because you watched this show to laugh, you didn’t expect Baldrick to yell that maybe the bloodshed can be avoided and have George stumped for words. Its not really an anti-war show, not really, but I’m not sure any show of this type can match the feelings this episode invokes.

#Blackadder #my posts #fishy.watch.Blackadder

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worstloki · 4 years

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Part 3

Fury: I cannot believe the Avengers No. 1 unattainable criminal right now is a seventeen-year-old twink Clint: I can’t believe you’re calling Loki a twink Tony: I can’t believe he's been the legal godparent of kids his own age for months and I didn't realise Steve: You didn’t get him removed? I thought you made Rhodey their legal godparents instead?? Tony: nah I removed Thor Natasha: ?? why would anyone do that ?? Fury, having a breakdown: we nearly lost New York and the entire world to a 16-year-old twink with daddy issues Clint: yoU just did it aGAIN- Tony, the only actual Avenger who knows Loki isn’t actually evil™: heY! Daddy issues are a serious thing! Don’t make fun of the guy for having a crisis and finding out his life was a lie and he’d faced over a millennium of abusive environment for nothing! Avengers: are you… defending Loki… the megalomaniac WAR CRIMINAL who turned every SHIELD facility into ice cream earlier today…? Tony, hands up in surrender: I’m saying maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the guy. I wouldn't be able to guess what but maybe he had an ulterior reason for the New York fiasco? His normal stuff is usually harmless. Avengers: ... Tony: What? It could’ve been much worse. Strange, rolling his eyes: Yes, at least it wasn’t Stark Raving Hazelnuts Loki, who has been standing at the back listening to the entire conversation: That flavour is way too chalky to suit SHIELD anyways [everyone turns to Loki with their weapons ready, except Tony of course] Loki, raising his hands in surrender: what? A Hunka-Hulka Burning Fudge is way better, and its green, and for some reason they didn’t have a Loki flavour so that was the next best option-

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Loki: hey Morgan what would you say if i offered you an officially evil part-time job with decent pay and extremely good evil workplace benefits? Morgan: do you offer evil dental? Loki: of course?? we also have A-Grade coffee 24/7 because top class extremely good evil deserves only the best Morgan: Excellent! I look forward to working with your evil team and being a part of your nefarious schemes and plots in future Loki: Thank you. Tomorrow we replace all Tony's vehicles with incredibly realistic wax models. Morgan: ...including the jets? Loki, scoffing: what kind of amateur villains would we be if we left his jets, boats, bikes and single vintage helicopter untouched Tony: its 4am can you maybe not have this conversation right next to me in my own workshop?!

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Tony: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULD REPLACE THEM WITH WAX MODELS Morgan: What kind of low-grade predictable villainous evil doers would we be if we did what we said we would Tony: oh $#!^ now you're speaking like him too Loki, cutting his shoulder to reveal cake: Just so you know, it wasn’t JUST the vehicles ;)

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Peter: *following loki around with a notepad* Loki: Terribly sorry if you mind but he's MY intern now. Tony: You don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, do you? Loki: I don’t think anything I’ve ever done is wrong Peter: *avidly taking notes and nodding along*

---

T’challa: I cant believe you filed an application for ‘time off’ Shuri: I NEED at least 3 hours a week reserved specifically for training if I want to keep my part-time job T’challa: you don’t NEED a job! You make up 90% of Wakanda’s research and development departments! Your technology work IS a job! Shuri: yeah well my ACTUAL job is fun and has proper work benefits and I simply must empty the time blocks I specified for it! You wouldn’t stop me from meeting with Peter and Morgan would you? They ARE, legally and spiritually speaking, my siblings, brother :) T’challa: what job could you have that would need you reminding me that a mischief deity adopted you before telling me what the job actually is Shuri: The official position is called Secretary of Evil but that’s only for the probationary 2 week period and I’m allowed to request a name change if I think of anything better T’challa: T’challa: you are working as a SECRETARY?! Shuri: The job pays well, Brother, T'challa: T'challa: mother will be so disappointed

---

Scott: I can’t believe you did that Maggie: I didn’t know he was a supervillain! OBVIOUSLY! Scott: how would you noT KNOW! He wears nothing buT LEATHER and BELTS and GREEN BOOTS AND- Maggie: I needed someone to watch her and she showed up in pink sweatpants and a black tank top and was charging a decent rate Scott: Scott: are you sure their name was loki

---

Clint: you told me it was a ‘family gathering’! Tony: yeah, it is, and the avengers are family Clint, pointing at Loki: so what’s the twink doing here and why are MY kids along with every other person here who is under drinking age clinging to him like a frickin’ koala bear Tony: morgan wanted to get her ‘the floor is lava’ badge and loki was the only one immune to the lava so they jumped him - and he enjoyed walking around covered in them way more than he should have - and also loki is legally peter and morgan and harley and shuri’s godparent so he’s allowed to be here on more of a basis than anyone else here at this point Clint: There was LAVA near MY KIDS?! Tony: no of course not – it was FAKE lava that just looked and functioned like real lava Clint: im taking them all home Tony: good luck convincing them not to want another playdate Clint: this isn’t a joke Tony Tony: I’m serious. Good luck. The kids love him, and you’ll need all the luck you can get if you want them to ever root for the side of good instead of wherever-loki-is-at instead.

---

Pepper: *watching the news* Pepper: oh hey the Avengers are on Peter, running into the room: woW NICE Pepper: wtf why is Hulk wearing giant boxing gloves Peter: Language! Pepper: is Steve's shield padded?! Peter: i don’t remember that being normal Pepper: did most of the Avengers just ditch Steve? Why’re they leaving Peter: I guess the danger must be over? Pepper: WHAT is going ON out there today Peter: I think Loki had planned an attack today so maybe he did it as a joke Pepper: oh they're facing Loki yeah okay that explains it Peter: Loki always does the funniest things of course he baby-proofed all the Avenger's gear! Classic Loki! :D

-meanwhile-

Captain America, tears streaming down his face: pl,,ease, loki,, stop,t his, I cant hit ,,a child Loki: Look at you, the American icon, unable to save all these innocent people from having their skin turn into primary colours, all because you are TOO AFRAID to fight me! Captain America: I’m a national icon, not a good soldier but a good man, I will do whatever it takes to keep innocents safe, but I can NOT beat up someone who isn’t even legal enough to vote Loki: I was around causing chaos before this ‘voting’ was even invented! And I’ll NEVER legally vote even if I could!! mwahahAHAHA- Falcon, to Bucky in the background: How did we not realise he was a teen, all his comebacks are ‘no u’ and ‘uno reverse card’ and ‘look over there!’ Bucky, to Falcon: I don’t know but I really really want to know where he gets his outfits from Falcon: if it means I’ll be seeing you geared up in leather again then I want to know where he gets his outfits from too ;‘) Thor: I think my brother makes his own outfits Loki, still tormenting Captain America: *SISTER Thor: ah, my bad Captain America, crying x2: wait does this mean I’ve been lobbing my shield at not just a child, but I’ve been misgendering them while doing it?! Loki: only occasionally and I don’t blame you that was on me for monologuing too long, really— Captain America, taking off the helmet: nope I’m done Loki: what are you doing Steve, handing Sam the shield: It’s yours. Enjoy. Sam: woah woah woah what’re you doing you cant retire just like that Steve, unzipping his suit to reveal American flag boxers: watch me Bucky to Sam: hello new best friend Sam, realising that Cap and Bucky are a duo: oh no no no STEVE is your best friend Bucky: he hasn’t been my ‘best friend’ since I saw him with the American flag splayed over his butt Loki, holding his hand out for Sam to shake: Hello there new Captain America its nice to meet you formally, my name is Loki and yes I’m a child but I’m actually 1075 but that is irrelevant if I’m causing trouble and looking for a fight, I’m also genderfluid so yes sometimes my pronouns will be different but I’ll be sure to inform you if it happens Sam: what are you doing Loki: I’m… formally introducing myself Sam: Sam: why?? Loki, blinking to hide that he’s getting teary eyed: well, the last national icon I didn’t do this with ditched me because I didn’t Bucky, a trained assassin, who isn’t a fool: *hugs loki* that wasn’t your fault steve just likes to carry the stupid with him Loki: thanks Bucky: is this a bad time to ask where you get your clothes from…? Loki: I make them Bucky: oh. Well $#!^. Loki, sniffing: if you join the dark side I’ll make you some too Bucky, immediately: done. Sam: JAmES Bucky deadpan: Yes, Samuel, what is it that troubles you, my new arch nemesis?

---

Sam: HE TOOK BUCKY Natasha: What do you mean ‘he took bucky’ he’s standing right next to you Sam: He’s “infiltrating the enemy” Natasha: *lifts an eyebrow and looks to Bucky* Bucky: It’s true. My loyalties lie elsewhere now. Natasha: ??? Bucky: note to self – unexpected outcomes confuse the black widow. Natasha: how did this happen?? Sam: he SOLD himself out to the ENEMY Natasha: well when you say it like THAT ;) — Bucky: I think friendship is a decent price to pay for decent clothing Natasha: ??? Sam: oh also I’m Captain America now because Steve broke down and quit Natasha: ?!?!?!

---

Peter, entering the room and high-fiving Loki: I heard you got Mr. Bucky to switch teams! Loki: well, my fashion skills ARE legendary Tony, under his breath: he’s not even trying and he’s gotten every kid and the freaking winter soldier on his side and I am so so grateful he isn’t actually TRYING to make everyone go bad

---

Bucky: we’ve been over this Steve, Loki is young but he’s also over a thousand years old Steve: I was beating up a KID, Bucky, a kid who was SMALLER and WEAKER than everyone else where he lived but wouldn’t EVER turn down a FIGHT for what he BELIEVES IN and he was probably BULLIED and I wanted the guy DEAD, Bucky– Bucky: don’t forget the genderfluidity thing Steve: he said it wasn’t my fault but I should’ve asked Thor after he referred to Loki as ‘she’ instead of thinking he’d made a mistake and I just can’t – he isn’t even old enough to DRIVE or VOTE or DRINK or BUY A KNIFE or -- Bucky, holding Steve and patting his back: hey now, there, there, it’ll be okay, Bucky: *gives Loki a thumbs up as he sits on the couch with popcorn and watches Steve be miserable*

---

Loki: We need to get through this locked door. Tony, quick, give me your card! Tony, handing the card over: Take it! Loki, pocketing it: Thanks! Morgan, fire at the door Morgan: *pulls out an iron man gauntlet painted green and gold* Tony: hOW COULD you deface YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT with GREEN Morgan: MINE is still being used as a paperweight. This is one of YOUR gauntlets. Tony, under his breath: maybe it’s not too late to burn the physical evidence and hack Loki’s name off the digital copies of the adoption forms Loki, whispering back: oh its definitely too late. I’m already on your christmas card and everything.

#LokiAdoptsAU #where all the kids can enjoy loki tormenting the world because its funny and no one actually ends up seriously injured ever #loki is about mischief and chaos not death and destruction #the avengers don't know why the kids are attached #tony knows that loki isn't evil but so far Shuri and Peter and MJ and Ned and Cassie are the only ones who know about the torture #because everyone else is an *d*ot #watch as loki cajoles the avengers to his side 1-by-1 with the promise of good coffee decent prankster material and custom leather outfits #ThisPostIsLongerThanMyLifeSpan #TPILTMLS

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trashyswitch · 3 years

Text

Living as an Afton

Michael recalls memories of being the idiot adolescent in the family. He spends his adolescence slightly humiliating the Afton Family and being the butt of jokes, yet grows to enjoy some aspects of being in his family.

I'm gonna start straying away from Fnaf a little bit after this fanfic, and try to get some prompts and headcanons done for a few people. But, I hope you all enjoy this fanfic.

Michael had always felt like the bullied one in his family. He wasn’t presented as the favorite, and it wasn’t hard to see which child was the favored child. And yet...sometimes Michael wonders if maybe he’s teased the most by the family because of the family dynamic he was born into. Or maybe he's treated this way because of how he acts in public around them.

He remembers when they were shopping together at the mall, and William had met up with a staff member from the pizzeria. He remembered that he wanted to make himself presentable with a silly little joke that would contradict his father’s job completely: if he likes pizza or not. He was gonna walk up to the staff member and declare that he hates pizza. The truth was, Michael actually loved Pizza and thinking he knew his father, he thought he might go along with it. But Michael never got that joke out.

Why? Well…

“The child running around with Elizabeth, is Chris: my youngest.” William introduced. “And this is Michael-”

Michael walked in front of his father. “I CAN’T STAND- OH FU-” Michael shouted as he lost his balance. Before the boy could physically stop himself, Michael had fallen into a stringed pit of kids bouncy balls that was right beside them. Michael’s body flopped right through the strings, right into the balls and knocked almost every single ball right out of the pit!

Elizabeth and Chris had stopped running and both bursted out laughing at Michael and the multi-colored balls that now bounced all around the area! William’s wife was giggling as well, and walked over to help the adolescent back onto his feet. Meanwhile, William was rubbing his forehead in utter embarrassment while the staff member had wide eyes and suppressed his own laughter. Michael had basically made a fool of both himself and his father, right in front of a Fazbear’s staff member. Not only that, but Michael had also made himself known in the store as ‘the kid who fell in the bouncy pit’. When word spread that he was the eldest from the Afton family, Michael would later be referred to as ‘Clumsy Afton’.

There were moments though, when Michael would be teased in a more positive way by his father. His younger siblings had become REALLY good at making fun of him...And because he was the older one who got in trouble for making fun of them, Michael would just take the teasing.

William and the family were taking care of some garbage bags. They had been doing some gardening and leaf-discarding as well, meaning there were a few more garbage bags than usual. William, Clara, Michael and Elizabeth (With some of Michael's help) carried a bag each up to the front lawn. By the time William had gotten his bag up, there were 2 bags sitting there already, with William and Clara watching the kids.

Elizabeth placed her bag down beside Michael’s. “Hey look!” Elizabeth declared, before pushing Michael into the garbage bags. “It’s garbage!” Elizabeth told them.

“HEY!” Michael yelled, struggling to get back up thanks to the stretchy, slippery bags.

“Elizabeth! That’s rude.” Clara yelled at her, pulling her away from the bags. William couldn’t help but stifle a laugh at Elizabeth’s joke.

Michael glared at his father. “Wow. Real nice of you.” Michael spat at him.

William lifted an eyebrow. “Aww, did I hurt Michael Trashton’s feelings?” William teased.

Michael’s jaw dropped, but only for a moment. Feeling agitated, Michael huffed and crossed his arms. “Yes. and that just made it worse.” William added.

William chuckled and shook his head, while Michael lifted up his hand to his father. “Hey Dad. I won’t tell Mom that you called me Trashton, if you help me up.” Michael offered.

William raised his eyes a little and decided to agree. Michael has been known to be a bit of a snitcher when it came down to it. So, taking any bribery to keep his mouth shut, was an opportunity you should always take.

William brought his hand over and grabbed onto Michael’s hand. He was about to lift him up, but Michael suddenly pulled him first! William yelped and fell right into the black garbage bags. “Michael!!” William yelled, grabbing him and putting him into a headlock. Michael chuckled a little, reached back and just tickled his father’s sides in retaliation. “HEHEhehey! No, stop that!” William bursted out, letting him go immediately and covering his sides. William turned himself right around to face his father and continued to tickle him anywhere he was vulnerable. “If I’m Michael Trashton, then you must be an old Snickers bar!” Michael declared.

“WAIT- GAAHEHEHEHEHEHE! DOHOHON’T TIHIHICKLE MEHEHE!” William bursted out laughing.

“Well that’s not fair! Wrestling and fake fist fights are not allowed either! I gotta fight my father somehow!” Michael argued.

“TICKLE FIGHT ON DADDY!” Elizabeth declared, jumping into the trash bags to tickle her Dad.

“EEEEHEHEK! WAHAHAIT! NOHOHOT YOHOHOU TOOHOHOHOHO!” William shouted as his armpits were attacked by Elizabeth’s tiny fingers.

Clara just giggled at the silly scene in front of her, and it didn’t take long for Clara to get Chris in on it too. “Hey Chris...Go tickle his tummy.” Clara encouraged, lifting him up and flying him over to the garbage pile. “Look out! Another tickle monster on the loose!” Clara told them, before placing Chris onto William’s belly.

“WAHAHAIT! CLAHAHARA! WHYHYHYHY?!” William asked.

“Cause it’s funny!” Clara replied. “Plus, I didn’t want poor Chris getting kicked in the face if he went for your feet.” Clara added.

“Mom! Go for his feet!” Elizabeth told her, pausing her tickling for a moment.

William pushed Michael aside and pulled the adolescent into his lap. “Mwahahaha...I’ve got you now!” William teased, before tickling Michael back. “If I’m an old snickers bar, then you must be a Laffy Taffy package.” William added.

Michael squeaked and started pushing his father’s hands away as he tickled him. “WAHAIT- DAHAHAHAHAHAD!” Michael laughed.

“Yes?” William replied.

“NOHOHOT MYHY AHAHAHARMPIHIHIHITS!” Michael screamed at him.

William just smirked at that. “Okay. I’ll go somewhere else then.” William replied before stopping. Michael happily took the break, and recuperated his breath as much as he could, before he would be tickled again. Unfortunately, Michael only got a few slow seconds before his ankle was grabbed and his shoe was thrown off.

“William...Do you really have to get Michael back? It’s cold out here.” Clara asked.

“Yes. I do.” William replied.

“Can’t you tickle him inside?” Clara compromised.

William smirked and started tickling Michael’s socked foot. “Nope.” He replied proudly.

“EEEEEP!” Michael shrieked, tugging his foot. He threw his head back and BURSTEDwith laughter! “NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHO! NOHOHOHOT MYHYHY FEHEHEHEHEET!” Michael begged.

“What’s this? Your feet are more ticklish than your armpits? What a strange conundrum.” William teased.

“YOHOHOHOHOU SUHUHUHUHUCK!” Michael shot at him.

“Like a leaf blower? Like a vaccuum? Oooor like a straw?” William teased.

“SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUHUP!” Michael yelled back.

“Naaaah...I’ll never shut up- EEEEP!” William’s smooth teasing quickly lost its spark as William felt skittering fingers on his feet. “HAHA- Clara, d-dearest, NO!” William warned suddenly.

William was staring down his mischievous wife, who was holding his ankles and prepared to tickle them. Clara’s smile just widened more as he metaphorically cornered William into a wall. “You must choose, Mr. Afton. Get your feet tickled or perish in our lovely home.” Clara warned, bringing her voice low like a villain.

“No! NO! CLARA! DON’T DO IT!” William begged with a wobbly smile on his face.

Clara’s smirk only grew bigger before she skittered her fingers all over William’s foot. William shrieked and shook his head as laughter spilled out of his mouth like a tap on full force. His kids were just watching with smiles on their faces, while Chris was laying on William’s shirt and bouncing from William’s laughter.

“WeEeEeEeEeEeEe!” Chris exclaimed. Michael and Elizabeth both bursted out laughing at the funny scene.

Even though Michael may have been bullied and teased a little more than the rest, the Afton family still had it’s fun moments. Even though Michael has proved himself to be a clumsy idiot with a record of creating havoc, Michael was still glad to know his father was capable of being embarrassed in front of his family members.

Even if it is something as innocent as tickling…

Later on, Michael got a chance to somewhat bond with his father. He was playing a song on the record player, while he was brushing his hair in front of the mirror, the middle of the living room. Michael still didn’t know why his father would do this, but...he did happen to know the song that he was singing while he brushed his hair.

“🎶Where it began...I can’t begin to knowin’...But then I know it’s growin’ stroooong…Was in the spring...And spring became the summer...Who’d have believed you’d cooome aloooong...🎶” William sang. “🎶Haaaaaaands...Touchin’ haaaaands...Reachin’ oooutt, touching me, touching yooooouuuu-🎶”

Michael decided to join him. “🎶Sweeeet Caroliiine-🎶” Michael sang.

“BWAH BWAH BWAAAH!” William shouted.

“🎶Good times Neveeer seemed sooo goooood…🎶” Michael sang.

“SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” William shouted.

“🎶IIIII’ve been incliiiined…🎶 BWAH BWAH BWAH! 🎶To believe they never woooould, but...now...I...🎶” Michael and William both sang.

William pointed to Michael. “Alright, alright. 🎶Look at the niiight...And it don’t seem so lonely...We fill it uuup with ooonly twoooo…🎶” Michael sang, before pointing at William.

“Really?” William reacted.

“Yeah! Go!” Michael told him.

“Okay. 🎶And when III hurt...Hurting runs off my shoulders...How can I hurt when hooolding yoooouuu?🎶” William sang, walking up to his wife and holding her hand. “🎶Oooooonne...Touching ooooonnne...Reeaachin’ ooouut, touching meeee, touchin’ yoooooouuuu!🎶” William sang to his wife.

“Awww, Will…” Clara cooed.

“🎶Sweeet Clara-liiiine…🎶” William sang, adding her name within the name Caroline. Clara giggled at this.

“BWAH BWAH BWAAAH!” Michael shouted, completely ruining the gushy moment.

“Michael!” William shouted back.

Clara just bursted out laughing at Michael. “🎶Good times neveeer seemed sooo gooood…🎶” Clara sang.

“SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!” William and Michael both shouted at once.

Clara laughed yet again. “🎶III’ve been incliiiined…🎶 -BWAH BWAH BWAAAH!” Clara sang, before shouting the trumpet part as well.

“YEEEAAAAH!” William and Michael both cheered as Michael ran to them both. “🎶To believe they never would...oh...nooo, nooo…🎶” William and Michael both sang to Clara.

“Awww! My sweet boys!” Clara cooed, cupping one cheek on each of the boys.

“Mooom!” Michael whined, not liking the childish coos. Clara giggled and removed her hand.

“Staaawwwp...You’re making me blush.” William complained, pouting like a child.

Clara giggled and tickled his side in response. "Aww, poor baby." Clara cooed.

William yelped in surprise and threw his hands in front of him. “Noooooo, don’t you dare.” William warned.

Michael chuckled and tickled him too. “I dare.” Michael announced to him.

“NOhoho! Evil!” William reacted. William started pointing to the both of them. “Evil, evil, evil.” He whined.

“Oh? How evil?” Clara asked before squeezing his side.

“Very eVIHIHIL! STAPIT!” William laughed, waving his hands around.

But Michael just squeezed his other side. “Not as evil as me, I’m sure.” Michael teased.

Clara lifted an eyebrow and smirked. “Is that a compliment? Or a challenge?” Clara asked her son as she squeezed her husband’s side a few more times. William started wiggling away, and whimpering with titters in between.

“Both.” Michael replied proudly, squeezing his other side a few more times.

William finally wheezed and breathed in to let out his laughter. “STAHAHAhahap!” William giggled.

“Truce?” Michael offered her mother.

Clara looked at William’s flustered and giggled state. “Perhaps a partnership?”

“Oooooh!” Michael reacted, growing interested. “Okay.” Michael replied before he shook on it.

‘Wait, WHAT?!” William shouted.

“Get him!” Clara shouted to Michael.

Clara and Michael took some spare time to freaking destroy William with tickles. It was long after the song had ended, that William had finally gotten his break. Michael and Clara laid beside him, and it didn’t take long for William to wrap his arms around both of them and tickle them back. Michael and Clara’s laughter filled the room for a good while, before the house soon fell into white noise and panting.

So, Michael began to see his family a little differently. They were loving in their own way, and showed their vulnerable love once in a while. And so, Michael counted the happy memories he had made.

Perhaps one day, he’ll be able to say his family’s pretty alright.

#family fluff #funny michael afton #father-son relationship #sibling rivalry #idiot michael afton #sassy elizabeth afton #ticklefic #switch!william #switch!michael #ler!elizabeth #ler!clara #slight ler!chris

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yodawgiherd · 3 years

Text

You Were Never Truly Gone ch.5

>>>Read on AO3<<<

Back to plotting.... The pacing is much faster than the previous chapters, but I meant it when I said that this will not be a long work. Just a few more.

Just like the year before the Paradis shore was slowly but surely appearing from behind the horizon. Armin was watching, again, albeit this time he had a cigarette in his hand, not a feather. Taking a drag from it, he felt the smoke filling his lungs. A dreadful habit picked up from Pieck, but the life of a diplomat was a stressful one, and smoking helped.

Especially stressful when the leaders hated each other and the man who flattened eighty percent of the world was secretly alive. Armin couldn’t even count how many times Eren’s name was brought up during the discussions. He was no longer a person, he was an entity - the devil, blamed for each and every bad occasion that happened.

Did the crops die? Damn Eren Yeager.

Are there floods? Damn Eren Yeager.

Then again, if there was one thing that Eren could legitimately be blamed for, it was the Yeagerists. Those were the worst to deal with because their aggressive expansion politics couldn’t be reasoned with. From the letters Armin exchanged with Historia, he knew that the queen was growing more oppressed every single day, the soldiers from Hizuru that used to keep the balance disappearing back into their home country. Kiyomi’s chokehold on Paradis’ stability was an eternal thorn in Armin’s side because he couldn’t see a solution. The old woman would not haggle, didn’t care, all she wanted was Mikasa.

Which was quite a problem, because as far as Armin knew the former soldier had no reason to leave her cabin. She had a home, the love of her life back, and overall was the happiest she ever was, judging from her letters.

Cursing his bad luck and stubbornness of others, Armin threw the burning cigarette into the ocean.

“That was a waste.”, Pieck appeared next to him, her mouth also occupied by one.

“I guess…”

“Tsk.”, she held out her pack, offering the blond a new smoke, “you’re lucky I stashed enough for us both.”

“Why?”

“Jean started smoking too.”

With a chuckle Armin took one, letting Pieck light it up for him, and then they were standing together on the deck and puffed against the wind.

“Are you sure that you want to come with us?”, he asked, knowing that she was far from happy about Eren’s resurrection, “You could stay in the city with Historia.”

“Right, because the sudden change of my routine after four years won’t be suspicious at all.”

“I don’t think people would know that Eren came back from you not visiting Mikasa once…”

“It’s a risk I’m not willing to take, and neither is Reiner.”, she snickered, “Despite how terrified he is of the Ackerman girl.”

“Well, it wasn’t exactly smart, threatening Mikasa’s happiness the second it came back to her.”

“Still, he had a point.”, Pieck let out a long grey strip, “I know that, you know that, everyone knows that.”

“We can find a solution.”

“I have one.”

“Yours is killing Eren, right?”

“Exactly!”, Pieck’s fist hit the railing, “Kill him properly this time, bury the body under that damn tree and be done with it. With him gone, Ackerman is free to go to Hizuru, and Kiyomi will renew her support of Historia. Then she can put Yeagerists on a leash and we can work from there!”

It was hard to not see Pieck as a villain after this speech, yet Armin knew that she is only pragmatic. Her solution was the logical one, easiest to execute, but it required him to do something he would never stain his hands with.

“You would hurt Mikasa like this? After what she’s done for us all?”

The next words that left Pieck’s lips were soft yet determined.

“The happiness of a one woman is nothing compared to the happiness of the world.”

Taking the last drag, Armin threw the butt into the ocean, turning to face Pieck head-on.

“That’s where you are wrong. It’s everything.”

She sighed and Armin left, leaving her alone at the railing. The shores of Paradis grew ever so closer…

One of the many things that Mikasa enjoyed in their intimacy was this – taking a bath together. Admittedly the bathtub was a bit cramped, now that Eren was sitting behind her, but she would never trade the heat of his body for the additional space. He was working on her too, currently washing her hair, fingers gently threading through the long raven strands.

Eren had a thing for her long hair, it would seem, the way it flowed behind her anytime Mikasa undid her ponytail fascinated him. The sun could cast such beautiful shine into the midnight cascade, it made his eyes go wide in wonder. Even now he was moving slow, clearly not rushing anywhere, enjoying the activity almost as much as Mikasa.

“Armin will be here in a few hours.”, she reminded him, but didn’t open her eyes, “We should get a move on.”

“Hmmm.”, a kiss on her bare shoulder, followed by a whisper, “I don’t think I can do that.”

But Mikasa should be the strict one, so she turned in the tub, water splashing and Eren making an “Ouch” sound when her wet hair whipped his face.

“We really have to get out.”, to sweeten the deal, she kissed his nose, “Can fool around after…”

With that promise, Eren was willing to leave the bath and soon after they were sitting together at the outside table, waiting for the familiar faces. Those appeared quick, even faster than expected.

“You guys are here early!”, Mikasa exclaimed, standing up to greet them.

“You know how it is, Reiner had no more letters to sniff.”, Connie joked, poking the large blond in the shoulder.

“Sod off…”, Reiner pushed him away, but Jean replaced Connie immediately.

“Don’t sulk, maybe we can ask the queen to write us a new one, so you won’t be alone at night.”

Reiner growled, eyeing Jean with disgust and Pieck had to step in, pulling her grinning boyfriend away.

After the initial catching up, Armin asked if they could go inside for a talk, one that was meant only for the three of them. Or four, since Annie tagged along, and no one questioned it.

It was just the four of them in the cabin, sitting around the table - time to truly discuss what to do with Eren, what to do with this crazy thing that happened and that blissful dream Mikasa and him were enjoying for a year.

“I thought this through,”, Armin began, “And I think that the best we can do is…”

“Wait a second,” Mikasa interrupted him, “hear me out first.”

Giving her the needed space, the blond nodded at her. And just like that, Mikasa dropped the biggest bomb he could ever imagine.

“Me and Eren, we are going to Hizuru.”

“No! You are crazy!”, Armin almost shouted, “How do you think that would even work?”

“It’s an isolated country, and the Hizurian people don’t know how Eren looks like.”, Mikasa explained, calmly for a change, “Sure, they know of the devil and the rumbling, but they have no idea what his appearance is.”

“Kiyomi does!”

“I can deal with Kiyomi, I have a plan.”

“Then, would you be so kind and share it with us?”, Annie asked, mirroring Mikasa’s calmness.

And she did. She told them what she planned to do, making Armin gape at her while Annie chuckled, nodding along. Eren wasn’t sure how to react. It sounded crazy, but also somewhat logical, and did he have a different choice? The way Armin painted it, there was no place in the world where he could live without being pursued, and unless Mikasa did something Paradis would turn into a warmongering nation, as soon as Kiyomi withdrew her support.

“I… I don’t know what to say.”, Armin confessed when the raven finished, “I have tried a hundred different scenarios but the best I could come up with was you two running away and leaving Paradis to fend for itself.”

“We don’t want that.”, Mikasa said, “We didn’t run away before, we won’t do it now.”

“The rumbling was supposed to be the last war.”, Eren agreed, “If this plan can help us achieve that dream, I will go with what Mikasa proposed.”

“Oh please.”, Annie shook her head, “As if you could say no to her.”

Eren blushed, Armin laughed, and Mikasa smiled and patted her boyfriend affectionally.

When no one took the word, Annie continued, laying their cards on the table.

“Let's go over what they can do then – Option 1, they stay here, Kiyomi goes back to Hizuru, Yeagerists take over the government and start planning their global supremacy. Realizing that a retired Ackerman is living on the island, they come knocking on Mikasa’s door, only to find their war god alive and happy. Global fun ensues. Option 2, They run somewhere far away, settle and live together. Yeagerists still take over because Kiyomi will leave, and this Island becomes a death trap. Option 3, We go with Mikasa’s plan – it’s crazy, but it's that crazy that it might just work.

Silence ruled afterward. When Annie reached out and Armin held her hand, Mikasa noticed the lack of ring on the man’s fingers.

“Wait, you guys didn’t marry yet?”

“There was no time!”, Armin explained, “All we do is work, work, and more work…”

“And when he doesn’t work,”, Annie supplemented, “He’s sketching a map and trying to find a location where Eren could disappear to.”

“Mikasa’s plan foiling your hard work?”, the resurrected devil asked.

“It’s risky. I know that it can work but…, but you have no idea if it is a long-time solution. What if someone notices you? What if….”

“Don’t steer away from the topic.”, Mikasa interjected, “A year of engagement and no marriage?”

Armin and Annie exchanged a look, both shrugging.

“Then, why don’t you do it now?”, the raven continued.

Now the engaged couple was staring at her.

“What?”, they asked in unison.

“Here, in Paradis. Have a small wedding, invite a few people you know….”

“We could use it to show Eren to the few people that we trust.”, Armin began but was quickly smacked by Annie.

“Do NOT make OUR wedding about your friend.”

“Right… sorry.”

“It is the perfect excuse though.”, Mikasa defended Armin’s point, “We can’t travel the world.”

Annie looked at Eren and seeing the silent begging in his face she sighed and surrendered. He died for them; this was the least she could do to pay him back.

“Fine, let’s use my own damn wedding to help you. Who do we invite?”

It was Armin’s turn to look surprised.

“Wait, are we seriously doing this?”

“Why not? We are engaged for a year. What better time there is but present?”

When Annie made a decision, it was quickly followed by action. Soon enough, there was a list of people who could be invited and that Eren wanted to meet, rather short but that was quite understandable. And just like that, the preparations began.

A week. That was all Annie needed. Together with Pieck, who turned out to be an incredibly efficient planning genius, they set up everything while Armin and the others hung around Paradis, unsure what was even going on.

Yet the more Armin walked around the city, the more he could feel the tension in the air. Yeagerists were truly almost everywhere, and with no Hizuru army to control them they were growing bolder too. He could see the posters on the walls, calling for the replacement of the “fake” queen, calls to arms, and notes of Paradis supremacy. Something had to change, otherwise there would be hell to pay.

Even with his own wedding coming, it managed to sour his mood.

Eren and Mikasa were back at the cabin for most of the time. Sure, she did go out a few times with Annie to help her, pick out a dress and whatnot, but most of the time it was Pieck’s show. That woman was a machine. On the morning of the wedding, there was a crate at the cabin’s door with a note, stating that Mikasa should put this on before going to the ceremony. Opening it, the former soldier saw that it was a red dress, high heeled shoes and some jewelry, overall things that Mikasa did not own.

“I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you in a dress this pretty before.”

“I didn’t have a reason to wear one.”, Mikasa agreed, fixing her hair in the mirror.

Heavy steps behind her, and suddenly Eren’s hands were at her waist, possessively circling it.

“Makes me want to tear it right off of you.”, he growled into her ear, kissing it after.

“T-That can wait…”, she stuttered, fighting her own treacherous body as she gently pushed him away, “After the ceremony.”

The touch disappeared, and the chair creaked as Eren sat down, admiring her beauty from a short distance.

“Sucks that I can’t be there to see Armin say his “Yes, I do.”

“I know, but he was right. No matter how hard we would try to mask you, people would notice, especially if you were with me for the evening.”

She walked over to him, a bit unsure in those heeled shoes, bending over to kiss him.

“Behave. Once it's over, we will bring the people here so you can meet them.”

“Don’t worry. I and Yams will survive without you somehow.”, squeezing her hands, Eren blessed her with a radiant smile, “You go have fun.”

With a last wave and a kiss, she was indeed gone, leaving Eren alone for what felt like the first time since he came back. Putting his hands in the pockets, he walked over to where Yams was, studying it. The animal looked him straight in the eye, not flinching even when he leaned closer.

“You know, sometimes I think that you are more than just a goat.”

Yams didn’t say anything, surprisingly, chewing the hay.

The wedding was short but sweet, the view of the ocean being everything Armin dreamed of. Annie was given away by her sobbing father, and Mikasa was Armin’s best “man”, stunning in the red dress Pieck got her. Yet it didn’t matter how she looked, because the blond’s eyes were solely for the woman in white. It felt like a dream when they recited their vows, and as Armin slid the ring on Annie’s finger, he considered himself the happiest man alive.

Any worry about world peace, any thought about Eren, anything and everything just flew right out of his head, because it didn’t matter. The world narrowed down to Annie’s smile, and Armin was more than okay with that.

A kiss and they were bound together forever, the cheers loud enough to scare all the birds in the vicinity. The queen handed Ymir over to her husband, clapping and jumping up and down in glee, ignoring the looks the bodyguards shot her way.

Jean also had tears in his eyes, unsure of what came over him. Connie teased him for it but Pieck simply smiled, wrapping him in a hug. It felt unreal to watch his friend and comrade marry the woman they used to fight, their sworn enemy. Yet here they were, any sort of hatred between them forgotten in favor of their love, and he thought that it was beautiful. And looking down at Pieck, Jean knew how Armin felt.

With the ceremony over, the celebration began, taking place on a few tables that were brought out. The evening progressing, Levi was the first who Mikasa approached, saying that she needs to discuss something with the old soldier. She pushed the wheelchair herself because both Gabi and Falco were enjoying the reception, heading towards her cabin. It wasn’t that far but not too close either, yet Levi was silent the whole journey, most likely thinking that whatever she wanted to talk about could wait. Yams watched them approach with his usual interested look as if she knew what was going on.

When the cabin door opened and Eren came out, Levi’s expression froze.

“Hello sir.”, the dead man said, coming to stand in front of him.

That was when Levi took a deep breath. And spoke.

“Eren, my kicking days are sadly over, but I’m now going to stand up and punch you in the face.”, his eyes were cold as he spoke, “Do you have a problem with that?”

Eren back straightened.

“No sir.”

“Good.”

With a scramble of wood against the grass, Levi pushed himself upright with the cane, taking a few steps towards him. He was old and crippled, Eren reasoned, there was no way that….

The punch threw him on the ground, the taste of blood filling his mouth.

“This is far from what you deserve, but it will do for now.”, Levi stated, shuffling back towards the wheelchair.

Mikasa was watching but didn’t intervene, knowing that despite how much she loved Eren, he deserved this. On his own, the former devil pushed himself back to his feet, studying Levi’s unchanging expression.

“I take it that you are not that happy to see me?”

“Happy? No.”, his hands clenched the wheelchair, “You’ve done terrible things Eren, and I hold no love for you. Unlike Mikasa, I think that you should have stayed dead, and if it wasn’t for how much she adores you I would put you in the ground. I don’t know how you came back and frankly, I don’t care, but you don’t deserve it. You have taken too much from the world…”

Erwin, Hange

“Too much from me.”

His eyes shifted to Mikasa.

“You believe that what you two have is special, but how many young lovers were trampled beneath the rumbling? How many lives were lost?”, icy gaze slid back to Eren, “I can’t forgive you. Maybe in time, but not now. Definitely not now.”

With that, he wheeled himself away, heading back towards the celebration, where Gabi and Falco were. The girl was describing something loudly, waving her hands while the boy looked on, a faint glint of adoration in his eyes. But after today, Levi was sick of love.

“Hey brats!”, he called them, “Get me out of here.”

They moved immediately, taking hold of his chair and pushing him back towards the city.

“What did Mikasa want captain?”, Gabi asked, energetic as ever, “Was it important?”

“No. She just… We….”, Levi clenched his teeth against the feeling, “She opened some old wounds, that’s all.”

Gods damn you Eren. If you ever make her unhappy, I will kill you myself.

Queen Reiss was a bit more difficult to separate from her guards, but when Mikasa asked if they could talk, just the two of them, she turned towards the black-suited men with a raised eyebrow.

“I believe that I will be quite safe with a legendary soldier like Mikasa, an Ackerman too. Take a small break.”

With that, she hoisted her daughter up and smiled.

“Lead the way.”

The guards obeyed, knowing better than to try and argue. So, Mikasa led the queen to her cabin, the door creaking open when Eren stepped out.

“The worst girl in the world,”, he greeted the blonde with a crooked smile, “It’s good to see you.”

Historia exploded into tears the second she saw him. She handed little Ymir to Mikasa and hugged him, sobbing into Eren’s chest in a very unqueenlike manner.

But when they tried showing the child to Eren, she hid behind Mikasa and refused to move, even crying when he reached out to her.

“I guess I’m not that good with children.”, he said with a smile, watching Ymir as she clung to the raven’s legs.

“That’s so strange,”, Historia wondered, “She usually loves meeting new people.”

But Ymir wouldn’t let Eren touch her, and because nobody wanted a crying child, Mikasa was the one to hold her while he and the queen sat down to do some much-needed catching up. Quiet gasps left her lips when Eren described his “reincarnation”, the long and perilous journey he had to endure to be reunited with his lover. When his story was done, there were tears in her eyes, and a whisper followed.

“D-do you think that… that Ymir could, you know.. ?”

It was obvious which Ymir she meant, but Eren could offer her no comfort.

“I’m sorry, but they are all gone. The paths collapsed, all the souls that were there are free now, I was the only one that stayed.”

With a slight tremble of her lips, the queen nodded, expecting such an answer. Taking a few deep breaths to stabilize herself, Historia got to the matters at hand.

“Eren, can you help me with the Yeagerists?”

“Not me, but Mikasa has a plan.”

Gently rocking the child in her arms, the Ackerman recited her plan to Historia. When she was done, the queen had a look of concentration on her face, tapping the table.

“It’s insane, but… good insane. I feel like it has a chance.”

Mikasa and Eren exchanged a look.

“That’s all we can hope for.”

After Historia left, taking Ymir with her, the pair was alone again. The celebration moved to the city but Mikasa didn’t feel like attending it, much more content here, lying on the grass with her lover. Together, they stared at the starry sky, basking in the moonlight.

“Do you think that we can ever get married?”, Mikasa wondered, still jittery from witnessing Armin’s and Annie’s wedding.

“I’m not sure. I feel like that if I ever walk into a church, the priest will try to drown me in the holy water.”

Mikasa giggled, hiding the smile in Eren’s shoulder.

“Maybe we don’t need a priest.”, he continued, ripping out a few blades of grass.

Deftly, he made a ring out of them, sliding it on Mikasa’s finger.

“Mikasa Ackerman, will you take me as your lawful husband?”

The answer bubbled out of her throat before she could make a coherent thought.

“Y-Yes.”

Following his example, Mikasa also made a ring, much better than Eren’s, putting it on his hand.

“Eren Yeager, will you take me as your lawful wife?”

“Yes, hundred, thousand times yes.”

Tangled on the ground, they stared into each other’s eyes, ignoring the rest of the world.

“I guess we can kiss now.”, Eren whispered.

Mikasa was the one who closed the distance, pushing her lips on Eren’s. It didn’t matter how many times they kissed, it made them both feel lightheaded, such joy could be found in a simple gesture. And when they broke apart, breathing heavily, Eren could say from the way Mikasa looked at him that this was only the beginning.

“Look at me.”, she said, admiring the grass ring, “Here I am, a married woman, when I thought that I will end up as a crazy bird lady.”

“Bird lady?”

“There was one that kept circling anytime when I visited your grave - it tried taking my scarf once too. You know, I thought that it might be you, living now as a bird or whatnot.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”, Eren pressed a kiss to her knuckles, “But I was never a bird, and I don’t plan on being one. As a human there are things we can do that would be… questionable if done with a bird.”

Now he was speaking Mikasa’s language.

“Do we get a wedding night?”, she drawled, her bedroom eyes and teeth biting the bottom lip making her the hottest being Eren ever saw in his existence.

The smile he gave her back was downright sexy.

“You bet.”

Eren was still sleeping when Mikasa woke up, slipping out of his hands. She stretched, feeling the burn in her muscles from last night’s activities, and looking down she could see faint bruises blooming on her porcelain skin. The dress was gone and forgotten, lost in the heat of passion, so Mikasa picked up Eren’s shirt from the floor, slipping it over her naked form.

Combing her hair, she put it over one shoulder, staring at the rising sun. The light somehow steeled her resolve and soon she was sitting down, pulling out a piece of paper. This had to work, there was no other way. For her and Eren to be together, the world had to be stable. With the pen in her hand, Mikasa thought for a moment before touching the white and beginning to write.

“Dear Kiyomi….”

#eremika #fanfic #snk

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hellsbellschime · 3 years

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i follow you cuz of GOT but i always see you talking about klaus mikaelson who is that?

Ohhh boy, little Klausy boo boo. Let me tell you a story about a fairy tale that turned into a nightmare.

So once upon a time I was a wee young lass who loved The Vampire Diaries quite a bit. But then this fellow named Klaus Mikaelson was introduced at the end of season 2 and I was a smitten kitten. He was a vampire, he was a werewolf, he was a maniac, he was everything a girl could ever want from a psycho villain. As his character arc continued to blaze across the sky like a shooting star leaving a trail of blood and champagne in his wake, my obsession only grew. I knew that I couldn’t contain my love for Klaus within my own frail body, my thoughts and passion were so great that I needed to find a brethren to share it with. And after searching the highest mountains and deepest valleys, I finally found a fandom on tumblr where I could shriek and cry and act the fool like the rabid fangirl I was.

Klaus was on the show from season 2 to season 4, and he was a goddamn masterpiece. He was so great that by the time his arc had concluded in season 4, it was because he was getting his own whole ass spinoff show, along with the rest of his siblings, who made up the Original vampires (that’s right, he wasn’t just a werewolf and vampire, he was one of the first vampires ever created). I felt that I had already ascended to fangirl heaven just by virtue of discovering Klaus in the first place, but now the knowledge that I was going to get an hour of my favorite character every single week basically shot me straight into hyperspace. I could not fathom what kind of Gandhi ass motherfucker I had been in a past life to deserve such a gift in this one. Oh, but wait, shocking twist!

Towards the end of season 4, Klaus randomly had sex with an irrelevant guest character who was going to be on the spinoff series. It was confusing, it was weird, but what could possibly go wrong. Well anon, a fucking lot.

So he got his bone on with this random werewolf lass, and then the backdoor pilot came. And lo and behold, this literal dead man had gotten said werewolf lass pregnant. Which was weird. Even weirder than the sex part. It was extremely weird. I wish I could take you back in time to see tumblr liveblogs of this so you could understand just quite how weird it was.

But was I disheartened like many of my other fandom compatriots?! NAY. Because despite this very abrupt fishtail into crazytown, the creator of my favorite character’s spinoff would not shut the fuck up about the fact that this spinoff was going to be like a vampire version of Game of Thrones. Which, EVEN BETTER. IT’S MY FAVORITE CHARACTER AND MY FAVORITE SHOW COMBINED INTO ONE.

So the show began and I fully prepared myself to freebase fangirl heroin every single week, because instead of having to sit around during every TVD episode waiting for Klaus to show up, he’d be in nearly every goddamn scene. But... impending fatherhood had changed him. Changed him quite drastically. To be honest, my badass, maniacal, charming, downright fucking evil beauty of a beast sort of transformed into a weepy, weak willed simp the minute the pregnancy test turned blue. The pregnancy was really the focal point of the show, and Klaus was the person who sat there and cried over it every single episode.

BUT DID I GIVE UP HOPE?! ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. BECAUSE IT’S VAMPIRE GAME OF THRONES. IT’S KLAUS’ SHOW. IT’S THE DREAM OF DREAMS AND IT ONLY DIES IF YOU LET IT.

So, because I’m a Game of Thrones super fan and a Klaus super fan I just know that this is all some insane ruse and everything is going to come crashing down sooner or later, and Klaus is going to come back and be bigger and badder than ever. So I spend a whole season watching the show, being the butt of the joke of my fandom because the show is fucking god awful and Klaus has completely and utterly transformed into the kind of character that you’d see on The Eric Andre Show if he was trying to do a parody of Twilight.

And while I’m expecting this weird pregnancy plot to come to it’s conclusion soon enough, it does not. It actually lasts the entire season. Including the backdoor pilot, it lasts more than a year of real time. BUT DID I LOSE MY FAITH. NO.

So I kept pressing on in a show that was a shitshow and in a fandom that devolved into a war zone over this nonsense, because I knew this was vampire Game of Thrones. Shit was about to get real any minute now. And do you want to know what happened dear anon? Shit did not get real.

Klaus’ werewolf lass had his baby and he cried like a baby and he named that baby Hope, and in that moment my friend, something broke in me that could never be repaired. It was the moment that I realized that daddy did not just go out for cigarettes. Old Yeller did not go out and live out the rest of his days on a beautiful farm. That single word, hope, so ironically knocked the wind out of the last card holding up the fragile house of cards that was my psyche. Klaus Mikaelson was never, ever coming back, and I, the fool, the simp, the most ferocious devotee, was a mere fangirl phantom, a revenant devotee to a god that had been slaughtered ages ago and I was the lone clown left worshiping it.

The destruction of Klaus was so great, so heartbreaking, so incomprehensible in it’s Eldritch horror beauty and terror, that even narrative collapses of GoT season 8 proportions were like the soft ripples after being hit by a tsunami. To look upon the flawlessness and hideousness of Klaus Mikaelson is to look into the void and see only your own face staring back at you. To love Klaus Mikaelson is to know that god exists, and know that he has not chosen you. That is who Klaus Mikaelson is, my dear anon.

#Anonymous #klaus mikaelson #klaus mikaelson meta

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thebibliomancer · 3 years

Text

Essential Avengers: King-Size Annual Avengers #11: In Honor’s Name!

August, 1982

“Why do the AVENGERS battle the Defenders?”

I dunno, man. Is it Tuesday again?

“And who is the mystery woman Nebulon has fallen for?”

Nebulona? She’s clearly just him but a woman.

Oh, hey Beast. So this is where you got to after quitting the Avengers.

Soooo.... Annuals, amirite? Pain in my butt. I actually forgot to cover this one and #12 is going to be somewhat plot relevant soon so I’ll shove this in wherever.

Its a blast from the past of the previous year. Back when the Avengers were fantastic but only numbered four: Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and Wasp.

And the Defenders seem to number many so this isn’t a very fair fight at all.

This issue starts with a PRELUDE

(J. M. DeMatteis again? Is this going to be weird?)

Nebulon the Celestial Man and damn fine dresser fades onto a hilltop shaking his fist and yelling that someone can’t do something to him.

Nebulon is mostly a Defenders villain and the major thing I know about him is that he’s supposedly exceptionally handsome but the handsomeness is a ruse and that the Squadron Sinister stopped helping him destroy the world once because they discovered he wasn’t as handsome as he was letting on.

Goes to show where their priorities lie. Also, the experience was so jarring that the evil Nighthawk decided to join the Defenders much to their chagrin.

So basically I know nothing about Nebulon. Hi, Nebulon.

An angry yelly fish head with the Rocky Horror Picture Show lips inside its fish lips shows up (I think this is what Nebulon realy looks like) and tells Nebulon that his punishment for constantly dicking with Earth is to be stranded on Earth with his powers reduced to half and stuck in his handsome-to-some-but-grotesque-to-fish body.

Okay. That clears things up.

Although I wish all of space would stop using Earth as their place to dump stuff or exile people. Its bad enough when Asgard does it. Its worse enough when there’s a whole crossover about all of space deciding to make Earth its supermax jail. And its a medium amount enough here.

But apparently the shouty fish people have a Prime Directive and Nebulon keeps breaking it, specifically on Earth. But a Prime Directive that also lets them dump troublemakers on planets where they’ve been troublemaking.

Nebulon tries to defend himself that, hey, Earth makes you do crazy stuff. But the yell fish is hearing nothing of it and just tells Nebulon to kill himself if he doesn’t want to be on Earth so bad.

... Eesh.

In his rage at being stranded on Earth, Nebulon teleports inside the Sanctum Sanctorum and starts yelling at Wong.

Wong tells him, dude, Dr Strange isn’t even here. So Nebulon starts beating up Wong.

How dare you, sir. Wong is a great guy!

Nebulon: “Then Wong shall die -- just as your master shall soon die -- and his accursed Defenders with him! They shall all pay for bringing this tragedy down on my head! For, if they had not risen up to thwart me. If they -- if they... Listen to me. Listen to the words of -- a fool! Forgive me, Wong! Neither you, Strange, nor the Defenders are responsible! The blame belongs solely to -- NEBULON!”

And then he teleports away, no doubt leaving Wong very confused.

CHAPTER 1: IN HONOR’S NAME!

Later, Thor flies over the Himalaya mountains and over the chapter title.

He has come for some peace and quiet sitting on a mountain away from the bustle of mortals but what does he find but someone already in his thinking spot!

Thor lands to see who would be sitting on a mountain with no pants on and its Nebulon, of course.

But I have to say. He’s sitting and hugging his knees. That’s advanced brood. That’s, in fact, verging on pout.

Although lets not let the fact that Thor flies out to the Himalayas to be alone sometimes slip on by uncommented.

Thor asks what brings the guy out here and Nebulon has a dramatic exile speech ready to go.

Nebulon: “For hours now I have sat, lost in thought, pondering that very question! What is it that brings any creature to the depths of despair, the edge of doom, but... himself?”

And since he senses a kindred spirit in Thor, one who is as different from the Earthly masses as Nebulon is, he unloads his full story onto Thor’s ears.

Upon hearing all about this dude who tried to take over or sell the world multiple times, Thor is like ‘this guy has got to meet the Avengers!’

Nebulon thinks Avengers sounds like Defenders and he’s not into that but Thor says that the Avengers are way cooler than the Defenders.

(Ooooh, shots fired, Thor)

Thor: “No, my friend -- there are none in all creation to compare with the Avengers! A hardier band of warriors hath ne’er been assembled! Where else could a god walk among mortals and find -- his equals?”

If Nebulon has truly repented of his past deeds, the Avengers will help him make a home on Earth.

And with a manly armclasp, like the one from Predator, Nebulon accepts and Thor takes him AWAY!

While the person who looks like Nebulon but a woman and with better boots watches them go and disappears in a bright flash of light.

CHAPTER 2

Yes, already.

“Avengers Mansion... Over the years, many fantastic beings have walked through the doors of this august Manhattan townhouse: Gods, mutants, androids... even a were-woman. But, of all these unique individuals, few -- if any -- have been more honored, more respected... More willing to serve the cause of freedom, wherever the place, whenever the time.. than the living legend whose only powers are his wits, his daring, and his years of hard-won skill... Captain America!”

And we see Cap leaping and gamboling about the exercise room, exercising.

Cap: “Ah -- there’s nothing like a good workout to make a man feel truly alive! It might pay to run through it once more, though --- my timing was a hair off on the parallel bars!”

Wasp comes in to... well, its Wasp. She comes to eye the eye candy and flirt a little, in a friendly fashion.

Wasp: “I see you’re here early for our meeting -- as usual! Don’t you ever slow down?”

Cap: “I seem to remember catching a few winks back in 1942 or so!”

Wasp: “Why, Cap -- that was two jokes in a row! I didn’t think you had it in you!”

Cap: “Oh, come on, Jan -- I’m not really that serious a guy, am I?”

Wasp: “I was just kidding, handsome.”

Cap: “Oh.”

Heh.

So, Thor called a super special emergency meeting of the Avengers to introduce his cool new friend.

Iron Man (secretly Tony Stark, true believers) is a little tense about the meeting because he had to cancel three business conferences, an address to foreign stockholders, and two dates.

Geez, for one meeting? You ever consider your calendar is way too packed, Tony?

Thor arrives with his cool, new pal and introduces the Avengers to NEBULON -- THE CELESTIAL MAN!

And Iron Man lunges out of his chair to get into better pointing distance.

Thor: “What irks thee, comrade? Why art thou so angered?”

Iron Man: “What irks me, Thor? He does! Haven’t you ever bothered to study our computer-file on alien threats? Your ‘newfound ally’ almost totalled the Earth -- several times!”

Nebulon: “Don’t you see, Thor? They react as I predicted they would!”

Also, geez. I know Tony is frustrated about all the schedule juggling he’s had to do but in this and the Black Knight two-parter he’s a lot ruder to Thor than you’d expect considering how close they are.

Some writers just don’t get the Avengers, I guess.

Cap and Wasp try to get Iron Man to calm down.

Wasp: “I’m sure there’s a darn good reason why Thor brought Nebulon here -- isn’t there?”

She’s downright staring daggers at him when she asks that.

We’ve jumped back in time a little from where I was covering but Jan is still the chairperson of the Avengers. It happened right when she returned from her divorce related hiatus and this four person group has to take place post-Tigra leaving and pre-membership drive.

So, she’s the boss and she just gave angry boss eyes at Thor. And Thor did his default squinting always-looks-pissed look back at her.

Thor tells Nebulon’s whole sad story off-panel.

And damn if it doesn’t hit the Avengers right where they live.

Wasp tells him that they all know what it means to lose something precious “whether it’s an entire world... or the love of one person -- it makes no difference! It hurts to suddenly find yourself -- alone!”

And Captain America sympathizes because when he was defrosted after twenty years, it was like a strange new world!

They’re both on team ‘give Nebulon a chance!’

Iron Man is more reluctant but decides to give Nebulon one chance.

Then the Defenders bust in.

Beast, Valkyrie, Silver Surfer, and Gargoyle who is not Etrigan at all.

And they’re here to kick Nebulon’s ass. Which is entirely fair considering that they’ve been the ones who keep having to stop Nebulon’s planschemes.

Since the Avengers seem to not be beating up Nebulon, obviously they’ve all been mind controlled. Nebulon is clearly planning to blow up half the Earth and use the Avengers to control the rest.

Cap: ‘what’

Silver Surfer: ‘HE’S MAKING A HOSTILE MOVE!’

And then Silver Surfer blasts the floor, sending all of the Avengers sprawling every which way.

MEANWHILE, IN SPACE

There’s a huge spaceship, in space. And within the huge spaceship in space, the lady who looks like a lady Nebulon watches the fight on a screen and cries.

Hey, I get it. Doing the Avengers vs Defenders Again But Worse makes me sad too.

CHAPTER 3

See, that’s more of the length for a chapter. You could learn something from chapter 2, chapter 1.

Anyway, the clock winds back a little for the Defender’s side of the story.

Valkyrie returns to the Sanctum Sanctorum in a good mood and also on a flying horse.

For a long while, Valkyrie’s status quo is that she was inhabiting the body of Barbara Norris, a woman that Dr Strange accidentally drove insane. But she’s gotten her original Asgardian body back so she’s stronger than ever and also not bodyjacking someone else.

She flies into the window, alarming Gargoyle, Beast, and Wong.

Gargoyle tearfully flies up and hugs Valkyrie saying that he thought she was leaving for Asgard forever.

Hey, um, who dis?

-wiki- Ok so he’s an elderly man who was trapped in a gargoyle body by some demons who he broke an agreement with. Cool, cool, cool. I would have guessed much younger based on how he acts here.

Valkyrie also smooshes Beast’s hand when he gives her a handshake hello, because she’s much buffer than she was when she left. Also, she talks more like Thor.

Valkyrie: “I am, at long last, the true Valkyrie! What more need be said?”

Then the Lady Nebulon teleports in and introduces herself as Supernalia. She tells the Defenders that she’s here to save the world from the evil of NEBULON!

Beast doesn’t recognize the name but Valkyrie definitely does. What with all the existing history that I keep alluding to.

Supernalia: “Indeed! I am a bounty hunter from Nebulon’s homeworld come to bring him to justice! He has fled to your Earth, taking sanctuary among the so-called Avengers! Using celestial mind control, he has usurped their will, and -- after decimating part of your world with four pre-set anti-matter bombs -- he plans to use the Avengers to take control of the surviving population!”

Beast goes ‘uh cool story but i’mma verify this real quick by ringing them up’

But then he remembers he already did do that and they were very rude to him!

He remembers this interaction very clearly even though it didn’t happen at all.

Ironically, the Defenders are the ones who are being mind-controlled into accusing other people of being mind-controlled. Yes, I’m pretty sure that’s irony.

Wong suddenly remembers that Nebulon rushed in the previous night but he can’t remember how that interaction actually went.

AH HAH, decides Beast. Clearly proof that Nebulon mind-controlled Wong. Lets go half-cocked everyone.

No, no. Beast decides they’ll need more than just the three of them and wonders who they should call to bolster their numbers to a whole four Defenders. Dr Strange is busy chasing Daimon Hellstrom and Namor soooo...

Valkyrie suggests Silver Surfer because he kicks ass but they have no way to get in contact with him.

Supernalia goes hey allow me.

Supernalia: “Although my planet’s laws forbid direct involvement with alien cultures -- and thus my need of you Defenders -- I can help!”

And she baps Valkyrie in the forehead and instantly transmissions Silver Surfer right to the Sanctum to his existential annoyance.

Silver Surfer: What force has swept me halfway ‘round the world? Who toys with -- the Silver Surfer?”

Valkyrie explains off-panel because this is very much “let me explain! No, there is too much. Let me sum up” kind of day.

CHAPTER 4

We cut back to right after the Silver Surfer knocked everyone on their ass with a warning shot.

Thor: “Surfer -- art thou mad?! Thy ‘warning’ came close to slaying us all!”

Thor gets up to kick Norrin’s rad ass but Valkyrie grabs his arm. She tries to convince him to trust her that Nebulon is controlling the Avengers. She appeals to their shared history, their shared love.

Thor: “Brunnhilde -- thou art truly the one blinded... by thine own prejudice! Because, once, Nebulon stood as thine enemy -- thou takest him for that again!”

Valkyrie: “Thunderer -- once I loved thee -- but now I see -- that thou art -- A FOOL!”

Then she just up and tosses him.

It’s pretty great.

Thor just rights himself midtoss by helicoptering his hammer and tells Valkyrie that she’s the fool. And also that because she fucking threw him, now he knows that its her group that are under some kind of control.

Nebulon starts yelling too because he’s not going to sit by while other people fight his battle so he’s like ‘come on if you’re hard enough, dickfenders’ and Beast is like ‘ok.’

Wasp, team leader, thinks Thor is onto something re: the Defenders being against some kind of influence and asks Iron Man to create a distraction so the Avengers can skedaddle.

Iron Man has the perfect distraction and fires the UNIBEEEEAM. At his own roof, collapsing it on the Defenders.

Iron Man: “Wait till Tony gets the bill for this!”

... so depending on the time frame, either only Nebulon or both him and Wasp are the only ones who don’t know Iron Man is Tony so who are you putting on a show for, Tony?

Or maybe you’re just so used to grousing about the Avengers breaking your shit that you do it even when you do it.

Anyway, since Thor has a hunch that the Defenders are being controlled, he decides that the best thing is to teleport somewhere safe and make a plan.

So Nebulon teleports himself and the Avengers to the Himalayas where he and Thor first met.

The effort nearly kills Nebulon, since his powers have been curtailed by the yell fish. But now they have some space.

Wasp: “And don’t think we don’t appreciate it, Nebulon! But couldn’t you have zapped us to a more temperate climate -- like the Bahamas... or the French Riviera? It mean, it’s COLD here!”

Cap hopes that the Defenders won’t find them somewhere so remote and isolated but Thor, whose idea this was by the by, isn’t so sure because they don’t know who is pulling the strings.

Iron Man: “Good point! Are we dealing with one of our old foes -- one of the Defenders’ -- or perhaps someone out for Nebulon’s head! Let’s face it: we’ve got a wide field to choose from!”

Annnnnnd thennnnn, the Defenders just show up anyway so trying to get some breathing room was a waste of Nebulon’s efforts.

Beast: “Cap, Thor, Iron Man, Jan! You’re all my friends... more than that -- you’re family! So why won’t you believe me when I tell you that this nut’s gonna wipe the whole planet out in a matter of hours! Please -- hand him over or --.”

Nebulon: “Or... NOTHING!”

Then he shoots an energy blast at the Defenders.

Which sadly arcs to the ground with a SHOOOM! and does little more than splash some snow on the Defenders.

But awwww, Beast considers the Avengers family! Shame that once the X-Men pull him back into their orbit, he only hangs out with them and decides never to ask the Avengers for help, either when Professor X gets shot by Stryfe or when trying to solve the Legacy Virus.

I think that social group is a bad influence on Beast. He never broke time or pretended to be gay to dunk on his ex when he was an Avenger. He just got high, practiced polyamory, and yukked it up with his bffsie Wonder Man.

Anyway, Silver Surfer gets up and disses Nebulon for his sad laser blast.

Silver Surfer: “Like all who seek conquest, Nebulon -- you refuse to recognize truth! You alter reality to serve your own malefic ends! But the power you no wield, tyrant, is as nothing compared to that which you once had! You are weak -- as Supernalia said you would be!”

Nebulon is aghast to hear that Supernalia is the one behind all of this. And also aghast when Gargoyle shoots a bio-mystic bolt at him.

Apparently, Gargoyle can shoot bio-mystic bolts. Are there mystic bolts that are not bio? Shrug.

CHAPTER 5

Hey, some of these chapter divisions feel arbitrary. We go from the fight to the fight. At least some other chapter divisions had scene or temporal shifts.

Cap begs the Defenders to fight off Supernalia’s influence. Or the Avengers will fight off Supernalia’s influence for them. Probably via punches.

For whatever reason, this makes Valkyrie go stickycaps.

Valkyrie: “The hour of Earth’s doom draws ever closer -- and, to prevent that doom, we will do whate’er we must! wHaTeVeR wE mUsT!”

Mystifying.

Anyway, with both sides thinking the other side are dumb easily mind-controlled doodoo heads, they both get to the slugfest that neither side wants but thinks there’s no other way to reach the other side but by punching some sense into them.

This panel feels like a microcosm of a lot of Marvel events.

And as this goes on Nebulon just watches the fight with calculating eyes.

I’m sure that’s fine.

Thor and Valkyrie continue sparring verbally, as well as with punches. Valkyrie asks how Thor can let Midgard be destroyed when they both love it so much. And Thor is like ‘for the last time, there’s no danger except from your mysterious new golden pal’

Meanwhile, the Defender’s mysterious new golden pal Supernalia is monitoring the fight from her spaceship. And monitoring the Defenders’ brainwaves.

Thor is actually making Valkyrie doubt. And Supernalia can’t have that.

Supernalia: “I cannot afford to lose control of the Defenders now! For honor’s sake, their rage must grow! And more -- they must retain a psychological surety that cannot be breached! In Valkyrie’s case, the introduction of something... familiar -- something to increase her confidence -- would seem appropriate!”

So Supernalia teleports Valkyrie’s sweet flying horse Aragorn to just. Appear on the Himalayas. Between Valkyrie and Thor.

Valkyrie doesn’t know how her horse suddenly appeared but she’s not going to look a gift teleporting winged horse in the mouth. She jumps on his back and takes to the air.

Thor gets pissed and hammerflings himself after her.

While Thor is chasing Valkyrie around the sky, Iron Man squares up with Silver Surfer.

Silver Surfer tells Iron Man that “you see to halt one who has outraced comets! Soared faster than light itself!” and basically that he rules, Iron Man sucks. And then to prove it, he blasts Iron Man with the power cosmic.

Just that one attack nearly tore Iron Man apart and he’s pretty sure that Silver Surfer was holding back. Oof, that’s some power gap.

BUT MAYBE just maybe if Iron Man puts all of his might into one staggering punch...

It’ll do jack shit to the Surfer.

Well, damn.

Gargoyle fights Wasp but says its not proper for a man to fight a lady. Wasp points out ‘hey you’re fighting me anyway so maybe someone is making you do it.’

Gargoyle: ‘.... NUH UH’

Cool. Good talk.

Supernalia: “This Gargoyle is too... soft! His mind accepts -- but his heart rebels! These beings are not like us! Their minds are filled with too many questions! Their souls overflow with conflicting emotions!”

I can’t believe humans (and Asgardians) have too many feelings and emotions to be easily controlled.

Well, I can believe. It really checks out.

So Supernalia increases the celestial mindwaves to shore up her control, even if it means burning out the Defenders.

Rude.

Thor blasts Valkyrie off of Aragorn with lightning and then catches her, saying he won’t let her fall. So, reasonably enough, Valkyrie elbows him in the face for treating her like a damsel.

They both fall toward the ground. Aragorn catches Valkyrie and Thor catches... a cosmic bolt from Silver Surfer.

You had one job, Iron Man.

And that job was to sneak up on Silver Surfer while he’s self-flagellating for doing a shameful opportunistic attack on Thor.

Iron Man uses those... hip... power pod... things. To zap Silver Surfer’s temples and siphon off some of his power.

And with that power, Iron Man tips a chunk of the mountain on top of Silver Surfer.

This doesn’t keep the Surfer down for long. Despite the fact that trying to contain the incredible surfing energies he absorbed threatens to damage his armor, Iron Man absorbs more when Silver Surfer blasts him, to try to turn the energy back at the Surfer.

Instead, they both explode.

Double KO.

Elsewhere in the fight, Gargoyle blasts Wasp with his bio-mystic bolts, knocking her into the snow.

Gargoyle panics because his bio-mystic bolts are supposed to drain off a fraction of a person’s life-force, not up and kill them.

So Gargoyle shouldn’t have been surprised when Wasp pops back up and zaps him in the chin. And Wasp shouldn’t have been surprised when Gargoyle zaps her back.

She passes out. But so does Gargoyle, to his confusion. His hide should be tough enough to take a truckload of punishment, yet he suddenly feels so weak.

I mean. Wasp is strong enough to blow up a house with her own zaps. But this is probably intended to be Supernalia’s mind control burning him out.

I choose to believe that its Wasp’s cool house-blowing-up might. She’s kicked bigger ass than Gargoyle.

Wasp’s defeat scream momentarily distracts Cap from where he’s fisticuffsing with Beast.

Beast: “Holy cow! I hope she’s not badly hurt!”

Cap: “You hope she’s not -- ?! You can still say that after all you’ve done today? After all the pain this Supernalia has driven the Defenders to cause?”

Beast: “We’ve caused? You’re the ones harboring the lunatic with the anti-matter bombs --.”

There’s no guilt-tripping some people.

Cap throws his mighty shield but Beast must not have heard the song because he not only doesn’t yield, he also catches the shield with his feets.

Then he sleds on it down a snowy incline and tackles Cap.

Beast: “It’s time we quit all this clowning around!”

Cap: “That’s right, Hank! This is serious business -- so hit me! Hit me, blast you! HIT ME!”

Beast: “Hey! wHaT tHe HeCk Am I dOiNg?”

Cap: “Coming to your senses, I hope!”

Beast realizes that Cap dropped his guard and let Beast beat the shit out of him on purpose, let Beast almost kill him.

Cap: “You’re no killer, Hank! And no force, however great, could make you kill! I counted on that fact to snap you out of it!”

Wow, good going, Cap!

Out of everyone here, you’re the only one who successfully snapped anyone out of anything. Although I think Wasp coulda if she had played possum and let Gargoyle think he killed her instead of popping up to zap him.

But Cap has insight into Hank. That probably helped.

Me and Jan know jack about Gargolye.

CHAPTER 6

With exactly two people conscious but not fighting anymore, Nebulon is like ‘hah eat shit Supernalia’

So Supernalia appears.

Beast feels like he’s about to keel over even though he beat the shit out of Cap and Cap feels weaker too. They blame Supernalia because its very easy to blame someone whose fault everything is.

But Supernalia blames Nebulon.

Nebulon slams a drama bomb in response.

Nebulon: “Do not seek to reclaim the upper hand with more lies, Supernalia! Such sophistry is unbecoming in... my wife!”

I heard that in Borat voice and I hate myself a little.

But now that Supernalia’s relation to Nebulon has been established, Nebulon is like ‘but why are you trying to ruin my exile?’

Supernalia: “You were convicted of high crimes, my husband -- and the sentence was a choice of honorable death by your own hand... or ignominious exile! In 500 generations, none of our people have ever chosen exile! All have proudly faced extinction! But you, lacking courage, brought shame upon your wife and children!”

HE HAS KIDS??

Anyway, she came to Earth to just. Kinda. Kill him. To restore honor to their family.

But when she got there, she found that he had already made friends and decided well I need some pawns of my own. So I can kill him.

Nebulon isn’t really impressed because in his one day as an exile, he’s had some epiphanies.

Nebulon: “Unlike you, I have traveled far across this universe! I have learned to see in new ways! Our concepts of honor are archaic! Our laws are cruel! I now dare to dream higher dreams, for I have learned what it means to have -- friends!”

Supernalia: “I have been your friend... and much more! Since our childhood betrothal have I stood by you -- despite your constant avoidance of responsibilities! Despite your failure to achieve glory or rank!”

Oof, imagine if your childhood friend and spouse told you that being exiled on Earth taught him what friendship really means.

I have to imagine that Cap and Beast are just listening to this like ‘god why do cosmic people always have to dump their relationship baggage on Earth?’

Supernalia then tries to tell Beast and Cap that Actually Nebulon is up to no good.

Beast is like yeah nice try.

But this time Supernalia has actual proof evidence.

She dispels the invisibility cloak hiding the Ennui Device that Nebulon left on a prior trip to Earth and is now using to drain energy from the Avengers and Defenders to beef himself up.

Now, Cap and Beast turn to Nebulon like ‘but buddy, why?’ and also to punch him a little bit, in a friendly manner.

Nebulon: “I did what I had to -- to survive! Believe me -- I truly wanted the friendship you offered -- but observing the unfolding battle, I realized I could never find peace on this or any world -- without the POWER!”

And this rude boy who doesn’t understand what friendship means punches both Cap and Beast.

Beast sprawls right at Supernalia’s feet completely burned out and goes hey feel like stepping in??

Supernalia: “I can do nothing directly, Beast. I am not permitted to interfere!”

Beast: “You... stupid... self-deluding... idiots! Don’t you understand that all this has happened... because you already have... interfered?!?!”

Supernalia: “So I have!”

And since now she’s done the big bad transgress of the Prime Directive, she decides that unlike her shitbird husband, she’s going to do the honorable thing and kill herself.

I. Have no words. At this entire exchange.

Its too much.

Nebulon is distraught so slaps the gun out of her hand and begs her to instead of killing herself, not do that. She could stay on Earth and rule at his side!

This latest bout of cosmic interpersonal drama gives Cap the opportunity to muster his strength and throw his mighty shield.

It deflects the ray emitter of the Ennui Device so it hits Nebulon instead of the Avengerdefenders.

Except, oops, the Ennui Beam was calibrated for “humanoid physio-psycho energies” so instead of draining his energy, the Ennui Beam just straight up starts killing Nebulon.

Amazing how you can stretch vocabulary to encompass humans, Asgardians, mutants, power cosmic imbued Zenn-Lavians, and whatever demonic biz is going on with the Gargoyle.

It sure is amazing how it affects all these different things as intended but its accidentally fatal in a way that will help wrap up the story.

Beast wet noodle jumps to try to redirect the beam and save Nebulon but Supernalia shoves him out of the way and then jumps into the beam herself.

Supernalia: “Thus, I join my husband -- in oblivion!”

Geez, when she sets her mind to killing herself, she sticks with it

.__.

Nebulon agrees that Actually This is the Right and Correct Course for them, I guess because couple counseling is a hassle.

Then the Ennui Device overloads and explodes and Nebulon and Supernalia turn to their true forms of giant weird fish people with Rocky Horror Picture Show lips inside fish lips.

Beast laments that Supernalia didn’t just let him save both of them but she’s like ‘HONORRR’ and then dies.

Thor: “I called Nebulon friend and he decieved me! Yet now -- Thor mourns his passing!”

Silver Surfer: “What manner of beings were they, to cherish honor so much... and value life so little?”

Cap: “Perhaps, Surfer -- not so different from us. Not so different -- at all!”

Okay, shut up your face, Cap.

First off, I don’t think much of an honor code that says its okay to mind control and lie to people and use them as pawns in a way that could kill them but then also goes ‘this is an honorable death’ when you stupid yourself to death.

And neither should you! Don’t put a poetic, poignant spin on things! This whole affair was a weird couples spat that two space weirdos forced you to participate in!

Follow @essential-avengers because I went back and covered an inconsequential annual and now I can’t go back and not do that. I wasted my time for you. Also, like and reblog. I need positive reinforcement. It makes me happy.

#Avengers #Defenders #Nebulon #Supernalia #Thor #Iron Man #Captain America #the Wasp #Beast #Valkyrie #Silver Surfer #Gargoyle #whoever that is #essential marvel liveblogging #essential avengers #this is like when a couple tries to get you to choose sides in a very public fight they're having #its unnecessary and uncomfortable and awkward for everyone

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taytei · 4 years

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I've been meaning to ask - what specifically sparked your intense interest in RoTMNT? I've never seen it so I hope passionate fans can give a little insight? Plus your artwork is extremely gorgeous ❤❤❤

you fool - you’ve activated a loooooooooong reply, cause i will take every opportunity to praise this series

the original draw was the beautiful animation - it’s super refreshing to see so many beautifully done 2D animation shows coming out lately

the 2nd was that I grew up liking tmnt as a kid - not as OBSESSIVELY as i do now, but i liked it enough! I knew about the brothers and what they were like, what they dealt with, etc. So i was was interested to see what Rise brought to the franchise

But what KEPT me in the series and really brought out a weirdly deep passion for it is the relationships in it - it has some of the BEST written familial relationships ive seen in … a long time.

more beneath the cut cause … this gonna get long son

The brothers all have unique dynamics between all of them, with specifics interests they each have and how they overlap and interact. there is … SO MUCH HUGGING it’s legit one of my favorite things about the series.

They’re all openly affectionate and mention how much they love each other CONSTANTLY, while in the next moment doing the very sibling-esque thing of calling dibs on each others things, etc.

there’s this post that compiled as many as they could and i STILL dont think they got all of them???

Link to THE GOOD VID

it seems to be following the trend of “show that starts out super light hearted and goofy and then progressively gets darker/more weighted as the series goes on”, while still maintaining the humor that he had since the beginning.

which i HAVE to articulate here cause i think that’s what turned so many people off about it - they expected it to be more along the lines of 2012, or maybe 2003. Grit with humor layered over it. It’s not. It’s primarily COMEDY/Action-Family.

Another point that I love about it. I was low-key expected crude humor (butt/fart jokes every 2 minutes), but NOPE. It’s situational humor, dry/sarcastic humor, physical humor and it gets me every time.

Tho it CAN count as a point against it. The show DOES have it’s weighty, emotional moments, but they don’t tend to linger as long as they should and don’t come as often as i’d like. I think this comes down to the fact that a majority of the episodes are 11 minutes, so pacing is a TAD rushed in some.

I’m hoping this might be remedied in season 2! with s1 being more of a set up season, getting us super comfortable with the boys, their dynamics and powers, and the villains they’d be facing. While s2 is (supposedly) gonna delve more into backstories and hopefully more emotional moments!

Sorry for the super long reply sahhklgsa

I at some point wanna make a post or maybe even a … commentary?? video?? with my praises AND my critiques of the show - tho i might wait until more of season 2 has come out. Cause you can love a show and still critique the things you’d like improved on/have slight problems with.

THANKFULLy rise hasn’t had anything i’ve had MASSIVE problems with, which is really refreshing sakhklgsa

anyways i’ll end it here but these are … more or less my surface level thoughts shaklhgklsa

#asks #anon #taytei talks #when will taylor shut up about the turtles?#probably not for a long time #it's dangerous to ask me what i like about it y'all

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forcefuried · 4 years

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“I BEAT YOU TWICE, YOU SELLOUT NOW YOU BOW DOWN TO MICKEY MOUSE! YOU CALL YOURSELF A DARK LORD? YOU COULDN’T EVEN CONQUER SPACE MOUNTAIN!” - adolf hitler to darth vader in epic rap battles hitler vs vader 3

disney bought lucasfilm which is my excuse to do this……idk why that quote fits this verse but it does. 😂

quick note before we begin: this AU makes use of headcanons discussed with whitley / @imbicilite / @isleisms, particularly the headcanon that auradon is in some aspects dystopian. with that in mind, here are my thoughts!

all right so first thing to address: is he in auradon or on the isle? the force seemed to forgive him and let him become a force ghost alongside his old masters, and there’s some really good meta out there on how lucas viewed vader’s redemption at the end of rotj from a deeply spiritual angle…but unfortunately for him, spiritual redemption is not necessarily the same as redemption in the eyes of humans. it’s canon that darth vader remained a despised figure long after his death, in spite of his previous heroism as anakin skywalker and in spite of his final act. so if he were brought back to life like other villains in a country that has no mercy for any sort of villainy, they would not believe that merely saving his son would cancel out all his other acts of evil. as such, he would be sent to the isle of the lost.

moreover, he technically could have been resurrected in his original hot form, but given that beast really wanted to spite him, he resurrected him not only in his deformed form but also still dependent on his suit except for his mask. technically, there’s no permanent dying on the isle, so anakin could survive without his suit; however, given how dying is still possible but temporary, anakin still needs his suit so that he can actually walk around and do things and not just be in bed in a permanent dying-but-not-dying state. why was he resurrected without his mask? because beast knows how vain he was as anakin (his vanity rivaled gaston’s for fuck’s sake) and he wanted the whole world to know what he really looked like now that he was injured. >:3

he also has far less status on the isle than one might think. he is not on the top tier of “ultraclassic” villains that are deities (such as hades), immortals, faeries (such as maleficent) or just anyone that can live 100+ years, but worse than that, he is capable of love. according to whitley’s hc, love is stigmatized on the isle, and anyone who has such feelings is treated like a fool. everybody and their mother knows that vader turned away from evil to save his son, that he loved padmé dearly and never let go of her, and that he is still extremely attached to his wife and kids; many on the isle love to insult and threaten his family just to watch him lose his shit. in the real world, everyone fears darth vader and considers him as powerful and as iconic as any classical disney villain. but in the world of those actual villains, he’s the butt of every joke.

to make matters worse, he has renounced all of the people he used to work with: sidious, tarkin, boba fett, piett, ozzel, needa……he doesn’t speak to them at all and other isle denizens see that as the ultimate betrayal. apart from taunting him for his love, they taunt him saying he tries to be a hero when he’s really just as bad as everyone else locked in this hellhole. they also say no one on auradon will ever let you escape your past no matter how good you try to be, so don’t come crying to us when you learn that the hard way. but he knows. he fucking knows. all he wants is the forgiveness of his wife and children; if he can have that, he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks.

he does not behave like he does in star wars survival AU, as this verse takes place almost twenty years after he killed palpatine--he’s been on the isle for at least as long as mal et al. are old in descendants 1, and so he’s had time to come back more to his old self. his personality is like the worst of both worlds: he has all the anger and bitterness of darth vader combined with the deadly snark, undiplomatic demeanor and no-longer-repressed desire to swear of anakin skywalker. basically he is a grumpy grandpa who has seen too much about the world and gives absolutely zero fucks.

anakin used to have a strong desire to take revenge on auradon, but after at least one failed attempt, he decided that as long as he can be with his wife and kids again that will be enough. he would go along with the plot of any villain who can break open the barrier and take advantage of that to escape, but frankly he is done with all that “conquering bullshit” and he is not about to throw himself under another master so he can have a repeat of sidious.

a note on luke and leia: they are heroes and thus were able to live in auradon. however, due to vader being their father and due to auradon’s hatred of the children of villains, they were treated like VKs. as a result, and also as a result of the fact that VKs are abandoned and stigmatized by auradon, they are both very vocal about the rights of VKs. luke was adamant to beast about letting anakin live in auradon and resurrecting him as his former self but beast argued him down. leia on the other hand took many years to forgive anakin, but like in the star wars novels she named a son after him.

last note: he responds to either anakin or vader.

#disney owns star wars; it's free fucking real estate. || DESCENDANTS AU #|| LAUGHS AT MY TAGS I COULDN'T RESIST

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necroarchy · 4 years

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soapbox sobbing.

WC3R has a lot of issues that have all been elucidated a hundred times over by people more passionate about links and evidence and research than I, but I think one of the most disappointing aspects of it to me, as related to the context of this blog, is how much of a fuckin’ let down everything regarding Arthas was.

Disclaimer, gonna get real whiny here.

A significant part of why that sucks so much to me is that literally the minute he died, he stopped being treated as someone who had once been threatening. Practically every single reference to him postmortem has been about what a fool he was, how he wielded his power like a selfish child, how he was spoiled and stupid and short-sighted and blah di blah. None of which is especially wrong! Especially considering the people who say these things --- every last one of them, it makes sense why they speak of him this way.

but even in the meta and extraneous materials, he’s sort of constantly the butt of the joke. Almost every single HotS trailer shows him being defeated or shows the aftermath of his defeat. The KotFT Hearthstone comics have Jaina win the Throne instead of him. ( Which is definitely a result of the in-universe historical inaccuracy of the comics’ storyteller, and him only knowing that Arthas dies early why Jaina lives on for a while after, but still. ) ( Or they coulda just shared the Throne!! you know!! just as a thought!! ) Bolvar says that Arthas would have wasted Acherus in his vengeance whilst Bolvar would put it to better use. Also they made him look like mayonnaise in that nightmare sequence in BfA.

And then they ripped apart the helm and said Fuck the Ongoing Story with the Lich King and the Ebon Blade and what the Throne and Helm were doing to B.olvar which was..... certainly a story choice. I guess. :/

I’m not exactly.... complaining about most of this, much as I feel like he gets hit with this kind of treatment significantly harder than Blizz’s other big name villains, Gul’dan and Deathwing coming to immediate mind. Mostly I just wish that he’d get like, one cool thing. Literally even just a HotS trailer, I don’t ask for much, just literally one cool thing. WC3R I kind of hoped would be that thing! We’d get to see his story in its prime, watch his fall and ascension in a pretty, modernized game, and also get to see his cinematics gorgeously redone with Blizz’s current, wonderful animations. But we didn’t really get any of that, and I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

#under his reign the s.courge was one of the 3 major factions vying for world control #it was on par or even surpassing the strength of h.orde and a.lliance #he was a threat! a legitimate and worldwide one!#and i just like #i don't know #i would like to see THAT given a spotlight #at least once when they bring him back out of the closet like #**marketing team voice** do you remember this guy??#who was the face of the game and the big bad when the game was at its height?#He Sucks and Here's Your Newest Example of Him Sucking #now please buy this merchandise that we're going to always include him in #just to tug on those good old nostalgia heartstrings of yours #//#long post #﹙ ɪ·ᴍ ᴅᴏɴᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɢʀᴀᴅ ɪ·ʟʟ sᴛᴜᴅʏ ᴜɴᴅᴇᴀᴅ ɴᴏᴡ. ﹚ ooc.#negative #whiny?#salty #idk

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Justice Society of America #4 (1992)

Ultrahumanite exhibits all the characteristics of a man happy to be reunited with friends: cheerily laughing, bright happy expression, hands on hips, weirdly-shaped massive hard-on.

Forgive me for the erect penis joke but I felt it was in the tradition of Grunion Guy. You might find it funny if you knew how uncomfortable it made me to type it and how worried I was for a second that my mother might see it. But then I realized that if my mom saw it, it would mean my mom read Grunion Guy's blog, and then I almost threw up. That would be so embarrassing! Normally I would be on the side of the Justice Society of America because they are the good people with the good values. But how good are their good values if they are trying to stop a job creator and upstanding corporate citizen like Ultrahumanite who is just trying to run his Ultragen business the best way he knows how: with stormtrooper bodyguards to defend labs where they experiment on animal-human hybrids? Anything that hurts corporate profits is a bad thing for capitalism and the Justice Society of America should know that, being that they have "America" right there in their name. Although they also have "Society" in their name and that is a bird whistle for socialists. The bird whistle is the dog whistle of the left because it is more pleasant to listen to and it isn't aggravating or obnoxious and it makes the world a better place for everybody (except people who hate birds and probably own guns to shoot those stupid birds. Stupid birds. So dumb).

Oh no! Nobody warned these old timers that we aren't doing prison rape jokes anymore!

Wildcat has some great words of wisdom in that previous panel. It is the most scienciest science statement I have ever read (unless it was the mathiest math statement): "If X did not happen, Y would have happened! Thusly I have proved we are better than you! QED! In your face, Ultrahumanite!" Whenever I would lose a game of Dungeons & Dragons with my friends Bullpup and McGroover, I would say, "Oh yeah? Let's see you make a delicious sandwich!" Then they would back down and they would be all, "Yes, you are correct, Pickle Boy. You are the better friend with the most useful skills and we are only good at pretending to slaughter Kobold families for copper coins." That's pretty funny if you realize Dungeons & Dragons is about adventurers invading the lairs of creatures to steal their material possessions! Doctor Mid-Nite does not quip with the others because he might be dead. Do not forget these guys are really old! It does not matter how many muscles they have or what kind of cardio breathalyzer tests they can pass; they still have super old bones and a lifetime of clogged arteries. One slip or the slightest bit of extra exertion could mean Stroke City or Brokenhipsville for these cool cats! That is old person slang! It is very humorous!

Now they goof on his stutter? I am beginning to wonder who the real villains are in this story!

Look how happy the Ultrahumanite is! And these old guys have been nothing but bitter, cynical old winds from the butt! Plus he is a successful businessman and scientist who has created life! It sounds like he has turned over a new leaf now that he no longer has to steal bodies. I am not ignoring the laboratory full of hybrid creatures; I'm just going to assume that they were all volunteers until it is proven otherwise. You cannot go through life never eating the buttered bread that fell on the floor buttered side down! Ultrahumanite decides to recount his past for some reason. This made me laugh because I was thinking, "Yeah! They are old men. They cannot remember stuff from so long ago and also they have enlarged prostates!"

But which is actually worse: making fun of somebody's disability or sympathizing with Nazis? I've got some hard questions to answer!

Some things are unforgivable but one thing I think we can all agree to forgive is a hot woman who sided with the Nazis.

How does a huge ape body reflect the Ultrahumanite's desires? Please do not answer, "He loves to copulate with monkeys," because that's what I an suggesting by the question and you would look like one of those fools on Twitter who thinks they are hilarious by restating somebody's joke in a less subtle manner.

Ultrahumanite continues to explain how he became such a pillar of the business community. It is as boring as you would expect a PowerPoint presentation from a business man would be. That was probably the joke! Why is not the trademarked name "PowerPoint" two words? If you are going to bother capitalizing the second "P", you might as well just separate the words. Maybe it was somebody's online name when they were fourteen years old. It is always a smart decision to just run the two words together rather than separating them with an underscore. And it is easier to read when the second word is capitalized (as opposed to every other word capitalized or just the consonants. I do not understand young people). Nobody remembers to put underscores in when searching for a name online!

"Ultrahumanite! You are experimenting on innocent people, ruining the environment, causing unknown amounts of damage to the populace of every city where one of your labs operates but Ted Grant and the world just want to know one thing: was that hot Nazi body the real you because 'Rrrrrow!'"

You think I am making a joke but I don't joke about things that I don't joke about and one of those things is that Ted Grant has previously expressed interest in cultivating an intimate relationship with hot Nazi Ultrahumanite. Specifically, he said earlier that she "swept him off his feet." He only used that phrase so Al could make a joke about how they were hanging upside down so the sweeping off of feet is still happening. But I think, in his heart, he wanted to say, "She made me spontaneously become a man every time we wrestled. Is that okay under the Hays Code? Can I get away with that amount of innuendo?!" The Ultrahumanite has to go deal with The Flash who has literally suddenly appeared. Weird how the word "literally" is never actually needed when it is used properly. I guess using it in a hyperbolic and exaggerated fashion is really its only job. While Ultrahumanite is gone, Doctor Mid-Nite "double joints" his wrists to escape. I'm pretty sure Grunion Guy's wrists were double jointed by the amount of times he wrote about masturbating. He was a crude jerk but I still hope he rests in peace in that pauper's cemetery down by the toxic sludge factory. Doctor Mid-Nite takes on the guards while The Atom and Wildcat rush out to save The Flash who is The Flash and almost certainly does not need saving. While Doctor Mid-Nite is beating up the guards, he suddenly becomes a stand up comedian. Was I wrong to assume he was an actual doctor? Is that just his stage persona? I would tell you why his jokes were funny if they were but I cannot figure them out. Why is this an old joke (and if it is, why would he even retell it when it is nonsense): "I know you're out there because I can hear you breathing"? The Flash gets encased in some living green goo that absorbs heat and kinetic energy which might also be a definition of heat? I'm just a sandwich maker slash writer's assistant who has never once showed an ounce of curiosity about the real world so forgive me for languishing in my ignorance. At least I own a thesaurus. Back in Gotham City, Jesse Quick appears for a page or two to remind everybody that she exists. "Hello! I am the hot daughter of the infomercial guy! I have also deluded myself into believing a mathematical equation gives me super speed! It makes no sense!" Jesse takes some papers proving that Ultragen is breaking laws so the JSA has the right to beat the crap out of its CEO. For comedic effect, they have a little more confusion over Ultrahumanite's pronouns (which, to be fair, he has not expressed any preference for and doesn't seem to mind using whatever pronouns match the gender he seems to be expressing) before rushing off to punch her in the face. I don't know what pronouns to use either but she was a super hot Nazi so let's just go with that one.

See? She is a scientific genius!

At first I was all, "Oh, big deal! So The Flash is trapped in goo!" And then the Ultrahumanite was all, "You cannot breathe without oxygen!" And then I was all, "Oh no! I had not thought of that! Somebody save him, preferably an old guy from the JSA or I will feel cheated out of my hard earned buck twenty-five." I keep laughing at that previously scanned panel and how Wildcat and The Atom are hiding behind trees the way characters do in comic strips. So ridiculous! It is even funnier if you remember that they are old men! I bet you are laughing a lot more now! Doctor Mid-Nite arrives because he "smoke bombed" with his previous stand-up gig. Get it?! If you understood the play on the word "bomb" there and that I meant the fight against the guards when I said "stand-up gig," you would be cracking up like crazy!

Yeah. A smoke bomb! We all know that is where he keeps them!

The Flash breaks free and Doctor Mid-Nite punches Ultrahumanite in the nose, breaking it. Ultrahumanite is so vain that he falls to the ground, defeated! And that is when the Calvary arrives! That is funny because I used the wrong word and now you are picturing a crucified Jesus riding up on a horse to save the day instead of Green Lantern, The Flash, and Jesse Quick arriving on a Green Lantern construct! Justice Society of America #4 Rating: A. I have not read as many comic books as Grunion Guy but this one seemed pretty good in comparison to the ones I have read, like WildC.A.T.S. #1 and pick any issue you want of Youngblood. One more "What gender is Ultrahumanite?!" joke for the road!

Alan felt this was the kind of thing a heterosexual would say. It's funny because he "New 52" comes out of the closet later!

#Justice Society of America #DC Comics #DC #Len Strazewski #Mike Parobeck #Mike Machlan

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erintoknow · 5 years

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"Idiots, the both of you."

Fallen Hero Fanfic, minor spoilers for the Retribution sequel that’s in alpha?

MC and Herald, with a dash of Ortega at the end for seasoning. content warning for some suicidal scares? ~3k words

Daniel is trying, but he can’t deny feeling a little starstruck right now. Sidestep in the flesh, oh, sorry, ‘Ariadne’ now. She yelled at him every time he called her by her old hero name. But who could believe it? Still alive after all. An all too-real woman, in a pair of cropped black slacks, grey shirt visible under a pale army-green shawl that obscured most of her upper body. Tired green eyes framed by an uncombed frizz of reddish-brown hair that was kept in check with bobby pins. Daniel half expected her to be smoker, if only to complete the picture, but she had taken offense when he asked. Called it a filthy habit.

It had been a crazy gamble, asking. One-on-one training with his childhood hero? But, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Sure, the first couple sessions had been… rough, to be generous, but they were really falling into a routine now, Daniel thought. Hoped.

Those green eyes were now laser focused on him as he ran though his warm-up exercises. It was more then a little nerve-wracking actually. Like being a beetle in a glass jar. “Are you going to warm up too?” Daniel asks, hoping to break the silence.

Sidestep Ariadne shakes her head and shifts her weight from one hip to the other, arms crossed under her shawl. “I’m plenty warm, thanks, wonderbread.”

Daniel smiles at that and laughs. Laughter that quickly dies at the sight of the deepening frown on Ariadne’s face. “I wasn’t joking.” She says, then smirks at the expression on Daniel’s face. “A villain isn’t going to stand there while you do your morning crunches.”

“Good thing there’s no villains up here, right?” Daniel intends it as a joke, but there’s the quickest flash of something across Ariadne’s face, and it’s gone just as quick as it came. As she shifts her footing into a combat stance, Daniel wonders if maybe he just imagined it.

“Just try to hit me already, Herald.”

He takes a moment to center himself and then Daniel rushes forward. She always sidesteps his first attack so this time he’ll fake her out and come around the other side – only whoops, Ariadne stays put and just grabs his arm, pulling him forward and kneeing him in the stomach. Daniel floats backward, stunned for a moment as he catches his breath. “Did you…” he wheezes, “did you have to hit so hard?”

Ariadne taps her chin, considering. “No.” She answers. After a moment she relents and adds, “You keep making this same mistake. I say ‘attack me’ and then you, fool that you are, attack me.”

“What?” Daniel scrunches up his face. “You’re not making any sense.”

“Hit me.” Ariadne commands. Daniel stays still this time, floating a few feet off the ground, staring down at her. The smallest of smiles passes across Ariadne’s face. “Better.” She brushes back her hair with one hand, “Don’t follow your enemy’s script, make them follow yours.” She flicks her wrist and a bobby pin goes flying straight at Daniel’s head. He ducks down to avoid it and Ariadne is at his legs, she whacks the edge of her hand at the back of his bad knee. Daniel winces at the pain and reflexively kicks back, hitting her in the face as he pulls up and out of her reach.

Daniel looks down worriedly, he didn’t hit her too hard did he? She’s sitting flat on her butt, rubbing her face. “Are you alright?” He calls down.

Ariadne rolls her eyes, exasperation in her voice. “Goddamnit Herald, you don’t ask your enemy if they’re okay!” She gets up, hands on her hips. With the shawl covering her arms she makes for something of an angry green triangle.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Herald says in complete honesty, rubbing his knee and staying safely out of reach.

Ariadne rubs her temples. “What do you think happens in a fight, Herald?”

Now it’s Daniel’s turn to be frustrated. “I know what a fight is, Ariadne, and it’s not this.”

“The moment you had me on the ground, you should have followed-up and pressed your advantage. Instead you pulled back and gave me a chance to recover.” Ariadne flicks her wrist, Daniel ducks his head but no bobby pin appears. “There’s no such thing as ‘playing dirty.’ Only fights you walk away from and fights you don’t.” She pointedly turns her back to him as she walks towards the edge of the roof.

“Ariadne?” Daniel calls after her, he always gets a little nervous when she does this. Something about her and edges. She wouldn’t really… would she? He hovers down closer, staying just out of arm’s reach, just in case this is another ‘lesson.’

It hurts a little to see her like this, he thinks. It’s obvious something bad happened during the Heartbreak Incident even if he can’t get a straight answer out of anyone. Trying to pry out more information about what happened is like pushing open a vise with your bare hands. Instead, he says: “I was hoping for training, Ariadne, not to beat the crap out of each other.”

“Yeah, well,” Ariadne doesn’t turn to look at him. “Fighting isn’t pretty, and if you haven’t figured that out by now, you’re hopeless. People break bones,” Daniel rubs his leg, “bleed everywhere, sometimes there’s a lot of tears and crying and you can’t always tell what’s yours. At the end of the day, there’s nothing heroic about breaking a man’s ribcage just because the alternative is him chopping you and a dozen other people to bits.” Ariadne shifts on her feet, body otherwise rigid, and Daniel tenses, ready to swoop forward. She crosses her arms, hugging herself. “People just die, and die, and die, and you pray you aren’t going to be one of them.”

Daniel raises a hand in an offer of comfort, “Hey… are you alright?”

Ariadne ignores him and sinks to her knees hugging herself under her shawl with her eyes screwed shut. Daniel watches with an increasing sense of alarm, he moves to get beside her, just in case, only to freeze mid-motion.

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Ariadne hisses, and Daniel staggers backward, off balance. She shudders and shakes her head back and forth violently a few times. When Ariadne finally looks over and sees the mixture of concern and confusion on his face, she grimaces. “Look. Lesson’s over for today. Sorry. No refunds.” She slowly gets to her feet, movement stiff and robotic.

Daniel shakes his head, a deep unease twisting his gut. “Okay. Seriously, what just happened there? Did I say something wrong?”

Ariadne makes a brisk pace for the rooftop service door. “It’s nothing. Forget about it. In fact: forget about training altogether.” She jiggles the door, it’s locked. She kicks the bottom of it. “Mierda!”

Daniel doesn’t move after her this time, instead staying put as he calls after her, frustration pushing aside the fear worming its way through his gut. “Talk to me Ariadne. Something’s clearly wrong, you’re worrying me.”

Ariadne wheels on him, eyes wide, hands clenched. “I don’t owe you jack shit Herald! I’m only up here in the first place because of you. And now I’m– I’m trapped here.” She shakes her fists at the sky, him, the world.

Daniel raises his hands in a placating gesture. “Okay. You’re upset. I’m sorry.” He says, and means it. “I’ll just… take you back down to the street then and we’ll call it a week?”

“No!” Ariadne clutches her head. “Nobody else is touching me today!”

Daniel stays still, ever so slightly off the ground, hands still raised, ready to move if she–

Ariadne looks up at him, sees the expression on his face and sags. The fear in Daniel’s gut subsides a little. “Goddamnit,” she whispers, “I don’t need a second fucking Ortega.”

“Can we…” Daniel hesitates, “can we talk now?”

“Free country.”

“Did you…” He thinks for a moment, knows he needs to pick his words carefully. “Was that an… attack?”

Ariadne’s response is immediate. “I don’t want to talk about that.” She turns back to the roof door, examining the lock.

Daniel frowns, “But you just said–“

“You don’t need to understand. It’s none of your business Herald." She doesn’t turn to face him, her nails digging into her palms. “I’m sorry, how did you think this was going to go, exactly? What were you expecting? To have your fearless hero leap out of the tv screen? Well, surprise!” She waves her hands. “She doesn’t exist! I’m not that! I never was! We can’t all be perfect TV Stars, Herald!! And now I’m a washed-up has-been that doesn’t know when to leave things well enough alone!” She kicks the door again.

Daniel grinds his teeth as he listens, “Ariadne, even if that was true, that’s not why I asked for your help!”

That gets her to look back at him, eyebrow raised in unveiled skepticism.

“Well, okay, maybe it was a part of it–” he backtracks, a tinge of red creeping up his face, “but it’s not the main reason! I was serious about needing training! This new villain, Puppetmaster, or Ghost or whatever–“

“Adrestia.”

“–That. I told you. I need help if I’m not going… If I’m not going to screw up again.” He stares her down, willing her to believe him.

“You really are serious about this?” Ariadne asks, not meeting his gaze.

“Yes!” Daniel says, frustration boiling over.

“100% dedicated?”

“Yes!!”

Ariadne turns back to the door, “Welp, sucks to be you then.”

It takes Daniel a moment to respond, “Excuse me?”

“What’s your tragic backstory? Wife got murdered? Lost your parents? Come on, every hero has one.” Ariadne kicks the door again then turns back to Daniel. “No one willingly throws themselves at people who shoot lasers out of their eyes or have knives for hands who doesn’t want to die at some level.”

Daniel flinches, the barb hits a little too close to home, he tries to push it aside. “You don’t really think all this, do you?” He asks. Pleads, really.

Ariadne laughs, short and sharp as broken glass. “Maybe I do! Maybe I don’t. Who knows anymore.”

The conversation lapses into awkward silence. Ariadne, giving up on the door for now, slides down with her back against it. She tilts her head up to stare at the sky. Daniel stays put, floating awkwardly. This isn’t how he expected his morning to go today. He understood Ariadne had obviously… changed since her hero days. but after that first conversation and her agreeing to help him, he had hoped that maybe… working with her, he could help… fix things? Somehow?? That’s what heroes do, right?

Well, here she was how, looking even more tired and run down then he had ever seen her at the Ranger’s HQ. Some kind of panic attack she refused to talk about or even acknowledge. Maybe she was right, maybe it had been a mistake to ask her for help. Did he just make things worse? Had he pressured her into it, somehow? He had just wanted to maybe get to know her–

“God, you think too loud.” Ariadne rubs her temples with one hand, the other tracing some repetitive pattern into her pant leg.

Daniel’s face reddens. “I’m… sorry?”

“You should be.” She shakes her head. “I’m embarrassed for you. Fighting a telepath and you can’t even put a lid on it.”

Daniel sees the chance to change the topic and grabs it. “That’s possible?”

Ariadne shrugs, noncommittal. “Obviously.” She says in that tone of voice meant to make Daniel feel dumb for even asking. “There’s ways… techniques, work-arounds. Little walls you can put up to make it that much harder.”

“What do you do?” He drifts closer, careful not to get too close.

She doesn’t look at him at first as she talks, “It’s a little different for me since I’m the one… hearing.” Her voice picks up in enthusiasm, “but I guess it works basically the same. You want something that can occupy your uh, I don’t know the professional terms, I’m not a damn doctor, but your surface level thoughts?”

Daniel thinks about this, and then taps the side of his skull. “Like when you talk to yourself in your head?”

Ariadne nods. “You use that as a smokescreen, or chaff or whatever, and it makes everything underneath harder to read. …or other people’s thoughts harder to hear.”

Has she ever talked about this with anyone before? Daniel wonders. Well, at least she’s actually talking to him now. “Couldn’t you also use that to like… misdirect? Get them thinking you’re going to do one thing but actually be planning the opposite?” Carefully, he sits down across from her, safely out of arm’s reach.

“Yeah,” Ariadne looks at Daniel, begrudgingly impressed. “That’s a lot harder to pull off in the middle of a fight than it sounds, but yeah? I’m simplifying all of this, by… uh, a lot, by the way. But that’s what it comes down to.”

Daniel’s quiet for a moment, weighing the idea. “Maybe I’d better start with the small stuff first then. What do you usually do for a, ah… smokescreen? –wall?”

Ariadne stares him straight in the face. “…If I tell you. And you laugh. I’ll fucking murder you.”

Daniel raises his hands, “I won’t laugh.” He smiles nervously. She’s… she’s just being hyperbolic, right?

“I’m dead serious, flyboy.”

“…Me too.” He answers, willing his voice not to squeak.

“I use music.” She stares at her lap, tense.

“Wait, like–” Daniel scratches his head, biting back a smile at the image going through his head. “So, you’re just constantly singing? In your head I mean.”

Ariadne shifts her gaze back at him, eyes narrowed. “I warned you…”

“No! No! I’m not laughing, it’s cu–“ he stops himself in time. “I’m just surprised it’s that simple?”

She shakes her head. “Try it while fighting three guys with guns and keeping your focus enough to still read their movements and while blocking out the crowd of panicked bystanders.”

“Okay. That does sound harder.” Daniel admits, Ariadne shrugs so he continues, “but I only need to worry about keeping a telepath out, right? So that’s not as complex, right?”

Ariadne’s response is dry. “Lucky you,” she says.

“Do you think, maybe, we can practice that next week?” He looks at her, not hiding the concern in his voice.

Ariadne huffs, the mask of disdain slamming back down.“Do you think you can pick a training area that doesn’t leave me trapped on top of a fucking building?”

Daniel scratches his head, “I… can try to get the roof access key, at least?”

“And I expect at least a milkshake as compensation.”

“I can work with that.” Daniel hazards a smile, and when it’s not immediately shot down, progresses into a genuine grin.

———

“So. Ari.” Ortega eyes Ariadne from across the break room, arms behind her back. “You seem to be getting along better with Herald now?”

Ariadne crosses her arms as she leans back against the wall. “What of it?”

Ortega smiles back as she closes the door behind her. “Nothing, I’m just pleasantly shocked is all, given how you always got so upset by his fanboying over you.”

She makes a face like she just bit into a lemon. “It’s not like I’m training him for free. I’m making him pay for it.”

Ortega blinks in surprise, “Really?”

“Yeah. In milkshakes.”

Ortega takes a second, then laughs. “Oh! I thought you were serious for a moment there.”

“I’m always serious.” Ariadne retorts, stone-faced save for the slightest uptick of a smile. “Why? Are you jealous?”

“Me?” Ortega huffs in exaggerated offense, “Jealous? Of what?”

Ariadne doesn’t laugh, and to Ortega’s relief doesn’t go with the obvious follow-up. “It doesn’t bother you that you got replaced as the face of the team with the blond-haired, blue-eyed whitebread boy wonder?”

“Ari! Don’t be mean! Herald’s a good kid” Ortega laughs, then after a moment sighs. “People will think whatever they want. I didn’t want to do it anymore anyway, after… you know. Let Herald take the spotlight.” She sidles up next to Ariadne, entirely too close. “That leaves me free to… take other things instead.”

Ariadne’s ears burn red as she hunches her shoulders, trying to hide her face in her shawl. “Julia…”

Ortega considers teasing her more but decides to cut to the chase instead. “Anyway, Herald asked me to pass this on?” Ortega says it innocently enough as she holds out the bag she’d been hiding behind her back.“I think he was a little too embarrassed to just hand it over himself.”

Ariadne looks at the bag, frowning, brows furrowed. “Huh? That’s weird.” She delicately takes the bag from Ortega, as if it could explode at any moment.

Ortega looks at her expectantly. “Well? I want to see what’s inside.”

That gets a withering look from Ariadne. “Like you don’t already have your hands all over this.”

“I had nothing to do with it. Scouts honor.”

“I–“ Ariadne frowns, “were you in Scouts?”

“Oh, just open the bag Ari!”

“Alright, alright, fine, geez.” Ariadne sighs, and sticks a hand inside the bag, pointedly not looking inside. Her hand feels out the shape of a box, and she pulls it out.

“Well?” Ortega prompts her.

Ariadne studies the image on box in quiet confusion, “It’s… a walkman tape player…? With headphones?”

“He said it was to help you concentrate? I couldn’t get him to explain what that that meant though.” Ortega searches her expression for any clues.

“Oh.” Ariadne says, her voice small. “Huh.”

“There should be a couple of tapes in the bag too. So, full honesty, I did gave Herald some genre suggestions. I had wanted to be more hands on, but…” Ortega makes a face, “I’m banned from every electronic store in the state by now.”

Ariadne keeps staring at the box. “This is… very… thoughtful…?” She chokes out the words like it’s a foreign concept. Carefully she puts the box back in the bag, her voice wavering. “I– I can’t take this.”

“I told you Ari,” Ortega wraps an arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer. Ariadne freezes for a moment, then relaxes, leaning back against her. “People care about you. It’s okay to let them.”

She frowns at that, “Idiots, the both of you.”

#fallen hero #fallen hero fanfic #fhr #fanfiction #mc #herald #ortega #fhr/Ariadne #trans character #can you tell i finally sat down and figured out what ari's fashion would be?#telepathy probably doesn't actually work like that in cannon #but who's going to stop me???#gonna bully herald #fallen hero: rebirth

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