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#and furthermore--
loktauri · 1 month
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Tma au where nothing is wrong ever and Jon gets to pet as many cats as he likes
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inkskinned · 9 months
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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moncuries · 6 months
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matters of state
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the ultimate game of AI chess: Stockfish (white) vs ChatGPT (black)
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4mulaone · 7 months
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one thing about george russell is he is going to get on the radio and say guys i have no words and then continue to say some words
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andsylphy · 6 months
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i love all the sapphicness of aylin and isobel but I can't not look at them like
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brother-emperors · 7 days
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thinking…..about Hannibal……..
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Hannibal, Patrick N. Hunt
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
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vampirehowl · 1 year
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happy international womens day to HER
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flonion · 6 months
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The bubbly spec op sharpshooter, Moonracer!
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the-crooked-library · 4 months
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upon my rewatch of season 6 of BTVS I gotta be real here. say what you will abt Mayor Wilkins but he would NEVER have left his murder daughter to struggle alone with debts and a sister. he’d be like “sweetie you own real estate that people live in, why are you working a minimum wage job?.. come now I am going to teach you the most useful evil skill you’ll ever learn, it’s called Being a Landlord” and then pay all her bills and make her drink her milk bc calcium is important
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age-of-moonknight · 7 months
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“Systemic Approach (Part Two),” Avengers Unlimited (Vol. 1/2022), Infinity Comic, #64.
Writer: Mat Groom; Penciler and Inker: Caio Majado; Colorist: Pete Pantazis; Letterer: Joe Sabino
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themarychain · 4 months
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okay upon my (sixth) rewatch of saltburn, I’m now absolutely sure that oliver and farleigh have penetrative sex in their scene, that oliver takes farleigh inside himself. It’s a power move: oliver offered himself up during the karaoke session, but farleigh rejected him, which oliver hadn’t been prepared for. he forces his way into farleigh’s room and MAKES farleigh accept him, take him, forces him to ‘behave/obey’, just as he forces his way into the cattons’ lives and in to saltburn itself
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pvrrhadve · 1 year
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i love you libraries i love you overdrive i love you libby i love you free and accessible audiobooks i love you listening to books at 2x speed for $0 while walking around in circles or cleaning or creating scrumptious little handicrafts
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honey-marrow · 8 months
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tea ef 2
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movietonight · 3 months
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Every PG Wodehouse chapter: Bingo is in love again. Jeeves won't help us come up with a scheme because I wore something orange last week.
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robo-dino-puppies · 3 months
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some prettied-up screencaps of my new favorite trio
+ a bonus
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