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#and i just went to shipping all three of them
nono-bunny · 2 days
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Losing my mind because it somehow took me literally until right now to realize that a Zuko and Katara encounter is a part of every season finale of ATLA, like, literally, what the fuck? And all of those are strong jumping off points for fics to boot, like???
"You rise with the moon, I rise with the sun" is like. Such a big deal in the fandom, and while it tends to feature in all kinds of fics, it perfectly encapsulates the enemies phase in the enemies (to friends) to lovers of these two. An unreasonably sexually charged line too, wtf were they on about with that scene if not ship bait?
Fics diverging from the crystal catacombs are like. Such an obvious and natural evolution of that scene- it's the "something awful happens there, but what if it didn't?", I think. It was, in fact, the first fic I went out looking for- was rewatching the show and once again felt the accute disappointment of what could've been, and I wanted to read what could happen if it had. Ultimately I think the show made the right choice there, because Zuko getting what he always wanted and realizing it's all wrong is important, but it did rob us of him being a part of the gaang for longer, and that makes me sad.
Then there's the final agni kai.... Literally how can you watch that one without expecting them to kiss after? Genuinely don't get it, impossible. Peak Zutara. Possibly the single best fight of the show, and undoubtedly the best finale scene. A perfect resolution to the bond between those two- that gets completely thrown away to give Aang his woman shaped prize. Of course it's also a popular jumping off point for plot divergent fics!
Genuinely wild that they have THREE romantic coded finals, and yet they don't even end up together. Kataang and Maiko are barely even a factor in the first two season finals, too! Mai literally doesn't exist in the first, and in the second is very obviously representative of Zuko making a mistake. Literally cannot think of a Kataang scene in the first season finale (but I might just be forgetting? I obviously do not care for that one, lmk if there is one and I'll add it, but me being unable to think of one feels a bit telling given how much I hate those scenes), and the big thing for them in the second one is literally recreating a pose evoking a mother and son relationship, which is a big fat F on the shipping factor if I ever saw one.
"Kataang is baked into the show's DNA"- shut the fuck up, Bryke, and maybe have a look at what you ACTUALLY did with it. This isn't the kind of thing that you can just brush off... Especially because those are all scenes people associate with big emotional plot points of your show, and guess who's doing the heavy lifting there? It's definitely not Aang, that's for sure.
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skellagirl · 3 months
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Gordon/Barney/Alyx is really really funny to me conceptually bc it's like, two hot geniuses in their 20s who look at the 40-something smartass who hangs around and go 'yeah that guy. we both want him carnally'
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quietwingsinthesky · 3 months
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of ten’s companions, if the doctor couldn’t handle losing them and crossed his own timeline to trick them into traveling with future!him instead of past!him so that he’d have a little more time with them:
rose would do it. first because bless her but she has the situational awareness of a rock, and legitimately would not realize this isn’t her doctor until his facade starts to break down and he starts bleeding grief-laced love for her at every turn. but once she does realize it, she’s both deeply sympathetic and a little scared that she could make him into this. it’s a lot to be confronted with having that much power over someone, to break them so thoroughly. rose would try to get back to her doctor, but while she’s with the future version, she tries to do what she can to ease his pain. (she also tries to figure out a way to subvert her fate. she fails.)
i think martha would be harder to trick. she can smell desperation on the doctor like a bloodhound. she is so tapped into the fact that this man wants to off himself so bad and that she’s 90% of his self-restraint, so present her with a doctor who is lacking that and she’s onto him immediately. however, assuming he gets her to come with him, explains why he’s doing this, there’s like. a minute where she’s kind of. not flattered exactly, but surprised, giddy with the realization that he’d come back for a little more time with her, especially if this is early season 3 martha. which would all come crashing down around the time that he reveals that he wasn’t pushed to this by losing her to some tragedy or her death or anything- but that she chose to leave. that is the point at which martha goes ‘oh i need to get the fuck off of this tardis right now’ and ghosts the past!doctor that she was also traveling with because holy shit, man.
donna, like rose, is easily bamboozled into following the wrong doctor home, provided that he shuffles her along into his tardis too fast for her to argue. but she catches on far quicker than rose does. like, three minutes tops of watching the doctor move through the tardis in a way that’s definitely not enthusiastic piloting and looks more like guilty panic. and then she yells at him for lying to her. and she yells at him for kidnapping her. and then she stops yelling because he’s gone sort of still and quiet and his eyes are just broken. and he doesn’t explain himself, he confesses. donna is going to try to stay with him after this btw. because how do you go back to looking your best friend in the eyes when you know he’d take everything you’ve become away from you, even to save your life? and this is still the doctor, he still did that to her, but he regrets it. regrets it so much that he can’t live with it, he’s breaking time and space just to hear her say his name again. and donna doesn’t want to lose him anymore than he wanted to lose her.
#i am so enthralled by this concept you have no idea#also like. i mentioned in rose’s section how this is a genuinely scary situation for her.#but to be clear. it is for all three of them the moment they realize that this Is Not Their Doctor#because theyre suddenly on a ship going through time ans space with. almost a stranger. and one who has proven that he’s break laws#fundamental to his worldview rather than let them go#doctor who#rose tyler#martha jones#martha girl get the fuck out of there oh my god#the doctor comes out looking the worst in her section rip to him for not handling her leaving him in a normal and healthy way very well#i think it would be very funny if the doctor said goodbye to her and then immediately went. ‘oh! right! martha is the only thing keeping me#from jumping off a cliff! brb i need to get martha back at whatever cost!’ sir go to therapy#donna noble#also also to be clear im not trying to insult rose in her section thats just how she is#remember that time her boyfriend turned into plastic in front of her and she. didnt notice. or that time the doctor was being strangled in#the other room and she. didnt notice.#rose tyler girl that you are. you never know what the fuck is going on around you and i love you for that. how are you still alive.#REMEMBER THAT TIME SHE GOT BACK FROM AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION AND DIDNT EVEN NOTICE THE DALEK ABOUT TO SHOOT THE DOCTOR IN THE FACE#ROSE TYLER. GIRL. LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT BEFORE CROSSING A STREET AT LEAST#donna’s here is the most fucked up i think because even if this situation is ‘resolved’ and she goes back to her doctor like. how does she#keep going with that fact in the back of her mind at all times. that he can and will do this to her. that he’ll take himself and everything#else away from her while she begs him not to.#angst <3
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emily-mooon · 7 months
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Made some matching s1 and s2 Jancy icons alongside three that has them both in the incredibly simple edit style of my own icon and header.
If you decide to use, please like or reblog. Don't claim as your own either because I will find you and I will politely ask you to not do that.
Headers
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sygneth · 1 year
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*details below*
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this was supposed to be a phone wallpaper but things got way out of control (uhhh i just noticed how bad the quality got so i did split it eventually)
i still did the wallpaper (9:18) crops tho, feel free to use them!!
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deathofdolls · 2 months
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I had a dream they added fujoshis to IDV and after they updated the game, you’d have to unlock the exit gate by putting in your favourite mlm ship though only one ship would work for each match (if you put in the 'wrong' ship you couldn’t try again, and needed to let someone else try)
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curiouschaosstarlight · 19 hours
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Bounced back and forth, think I'll just make this post-
(Warning: Under the read more, if tumblr keeps the read more intact, is me, an aromantic/aegofictosexual person ramble-ranting about aroaceness in fandom. You're free to scroll past if you wish, or to disagree with me on whatever takes for whatever reason, this is just my one opinion on something I consider to be a big pet peeve of mine.)
(If you read this and go "but I don't do that!", then I trust you, and you're not the kind of person I'm talking about. I'm moreso referring to some things I've personally either witnessed or experienced in previous fandoms, and nobody this applies to will actually see this post unless it, like, gets a bajillion notes...um, hopefully.)
It is so. fricking. frustrating. having my only possible representation in media be like...[that one character] from DR. You know. the otaku or "geek" that's portrayed to be unattractive, "gross", and "weird", and will eventually express sexual attraction to "3D" people, because their attraction to and obsession with 2D was never a sexuality, but intended to be some creepy, incomprehensible thing, and a way to demonstrate their shortcomings and inability to actually court someone.
Characters who actually match my sexuality and experience will never exist unless I make them with my own hands, because both allos and other aces consider me "not ace enough".
This honestly plays a big part in why I'm really touchy about aroace headcanons; because often times they're blatantly used to say people aren't allowed to ship [character a] with [character b] -- and the person making the headcanon is usually 100000% fine with [character a] being put in a gay ship, but will loudly complain if they see them featured in the (usually het, usually canonically teased) first ship. Because it was never about actually writing an aroace character, it was about reframing "ewwww you like THAT ship?? gross uxu what's wrong with you??" into "uhhhmmmm but that character's aroace-coded" "sorry, I can't see them as anything other than aroace" (yeah, I didn't ask? Everyone else gets to talk about THEIR ships with that character and you enthusiastically support them...) And it's like... I feel like these types of headcanons specifically are always presented like, inherently, I'm totally, obviously going to agree with them, and if I don't, then clearly I'm just not aroace. (I wish that was more of a dramatization, but I had someone who I previously told my seuxality to go "oh. well. I'm asexual, so I see this character as aroace-coded, (and I'm right)" <- not outright said but very, very heavily implied, especially because they continuously insisted the character was "canonically aroace-coded", and I just had to sit there like... "...okay, but I'm aroace. (and I think saying that about a clearly het-intended character that's constantly being flirted and canonically shipped in extra side materials with is kinda hurtful)" <- I didn't say that part)
And the fact that no one respects if a character is canonically het or bi kind of plays into why I don't care when a character is canonically gay or ace. If everyone's sexuality is just "gay (MAYBE ace!!!)" or "okay but have you CONSIDERED they might be bi??? (stop putting them in het ships >:((( )" only when it's convenient, then why should I care for my downtime? It doesn't change canon. And I don't feel represented by people's on-the-whim, flimsy-as-fuck headcanons.
But it does still piss me off when people take a reboot or remake or continuation and flagrantly disregard a character's canon sexuality.
And it's upsetting that aroace characters 1. aren't really a thing for the most part, and 2. get written over when they are a thing.
I imagine that when I finally manage to finish one of my stories or games and, y'know, all of my characters are bi/pan/demi because that's what I tend to write...that's probably just gonna get changed to be "whoops everyone's gay lol" by the fandom, and I've already come to terms with that. (Well, by the part of the fandom that isn't populated by "ugh, everything is so WOKE now!" assholes, I'm just gonna pretend they won't even show up because they aren't worth it.) But then, it's also like...if someone officially continued or adapted my properties, and they changed my characters to be all straight or maybe one character gets to be kinda-sorta gay or something, I. I would definitely lose my shit.
-vague gestures-
I don't really know where I'm going with this, I just wanted to say my whole piece without having to worry about being accused of derailing/not listening to a post-
But basically if you're outraged whenever a gay character's sexuality is changed for any reason in any context, I better hear you be that upset about the rest of the possible orientations, and not pulling that shit yourself. I swear to god.
#not important#chaotic rambles#discourse#sorry for the vagueness about characters n stuff i just dont wanna wind up in any fandom searches#how to bridge the fact that im only attracted to fictional characters#with the fact that i have to be repeatedly made to realize i've never seen any character like me in fiction at all ever#only characters that are kinda sorta like me and also the unattractive loser butt of every single joke#also character sexuality is so...weird and not-solid to my brain y'all#i only have like...two or three characters that are full-on gay? out of the hundreds i've written?#about the same for het or ace or...you know any other combinations/other sexualities#it's usually more natural to my brain to have my characters shipped with basically anyone and everyone#and only a few times has a character effectively grabbed me by the horns and went “no. im not into that. and you cannot make me be.”#which creates a funny tidbit where two of my gay characters have radically different tastes in the same gender#so they both think the other one is “weird" and it's just really amusing to me#they also arent attracted to each other due not fitting into each other's tastes#it's just like...the only two men in a gay bar and they hiss at each other like cats#why did it turn out this way? genuinely no clue#i have a third gay man but he's got a third completely unique to him taste and he's just standing there#awkwardly sipping his drink like “oh god neither of these two ask me to agree with them please”
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iholli · 1 year
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I'm So Normal about TOH ending
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thebadtimewolf · 1 year
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why r u so mad about ppl preferring ten x madame de pompadour to ten x martha like ten/martha will never be a thing. ten don’t want anything to do with martha. he literally said to her face she wouldn’t replace rose… and she never did… isnt canon enough for you
hm.
im glad im only a scorpio on this alone. if martha deserved better than ten then so do all of em but anyway:
this ask is giving 2006/07 i dont want to see tenth doctor in a romantic relationship with a person of color because i can't project myself or relate to them if they arent the very thing being catered to me ever since the silent pictures vibes. u know the same vibe when rtd was told to not regenerate 14 in 13's clothes. just. Ick.
but im not mad. its just interesting for a ship so big as tenrose, it is usually correlated with hating madame de pompadour and/or joan and/or river [though in joan's case they hate her not because shes racist but because shes not rose]
though comics tend to release to combat that in multi doctor stories where they jump through various alternate universes of themselves where the doctor sees themselves settled down with dr. grace holloway (for 8th dr multi doctor stories) and professor melody williams/river song (for 11th dr multi doctor stories) where in those cases, they are frightful of the concept settling down at all. [take note that both times, he settles down in the same house that he owns bc of that unit paycheck on the dl] so i am curious that with this new drs, the equivalent of this would be 13 14 15 being terrified of settling down with rose because they had grown past her as this point.
i prefer the doctor in a polyromantic ace relationship than their umpteenth 🌟tragic heteronormative romance with yt human woman number 23445788764443356743🌟 i want 14 to sweep martha off her feet in pure joy and kiss her passionately while badmouthing tf out of 10 like 9 11 12 13 do with no filter before cradling her like a baby because hes about to crumble under his brand new identity complex and then take her kid to an amusement park and then 14 trips over a brick and dies. hell i rather have nina sosanya play a whole different lady in nod to doctor who recycles their actors trope as a way to introduce a love interest to 14
that amusment park one weirdly sounds like a 8th doctor audio. pls 🙏🏾 dont make it into one i couldnt handle schezro let alone the rest of his content. Empire of the Wolf made me so fucking worried for rose marion tyler like im just she back home 🫣. as for rose tyler from the sea devil universe still out about. whoop his ass. if billie come back as HER? MISS COVER MODEL MISS DICTATOR MISS EMPRESS ROSE?
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NOT
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i would love for ten to be strictly friends with the new miss empress rose. get that martha karma real quick ehehehehe after all rtd did say they need freema for somethin and im sure seeing 10 get treated the same way he treated martha by no other than empress rose herself -AND THEN EMPRESS ROSE FLIRTS WITH MARTHA??? FINGERS CROSSED??? im just saying that i personally will ride on that for 8 black history months and christmases straight like woo
also real glad it is collectively decided by every one that tentoo is just john smith not corin so yay thanks big finish and titan comics
#{lets see if i can scare this anon away listen i even made a graphic for this damn it. u better appreciate it i went all out for you}#{porn blogs and micro antiblack anons: this is why i dont share my shipping opinions much bc they stick to tv and i stick to everything}#{usually all this i gave to my aunt and we would have phone discussions and she would watch and call be like hey yeah! i see it}#{and she would say: but really it wasnt that for martha. it was the writing choices that was disapproved because not wanting another 💞}#{it went from classism for rose to racism for martha and she points that it wasnt catered to black fans in the rtd era}#{so yeah ten x martha wouldn't be a thing but only because test audiences and fans refused it due to the studios racial bias}#{10 wanted everything to do w martha. he just used rose as excuse and because of that 12 and 13 vocally to his face hates him for it}#{and we all fell for it: everybody did because like 12 said: its the bambi eyes. hook line and sucker}#{he wanted martha the whole time but he kept playing that hot n cold game to the wrong girl just bc it worked on 2 later 3 yt blonde women}#{4 yt women because of miss kylie minogue! all of a sudden he dont know how to counterflirt when a blk woman flirts back?}#{yes thats right im throwing miss claire pope AND IN THE GABBY GONZALES COMIC OF THE PPL OUTSIDE HER FAMILY LAUNDROMAT??}#{but yeah after losing donna suddenly supiciously hes not racist but extremely genocidal to death and death alone like hm.}#{his actions speak extremely louder than his words and in turn so does the fandom and its writers}#{4 yt blondes and hes willing to believe in them despite him having to permanently lose them but completely have lil faith in the blk one?}#{ ten never actually go back to martha. be fair if i forgave the person that enslave her family for a missing year? yeah i wouldnt either}#{we could never be together because of a yt woman i chose to leave behind three times with her mum for 'safety' boy bye}#{and i go around and almost in one whole episode almost left her behind AGAIN for madame de pompadour another blonde yt woman?}#{like i ship them i ship all of em but if they were all hanging off a cliff side? 🤧 😔 we gather here today in the loss of 🌹 and depomp}#{dont worry at least 9 would leap after rose.}#bw: out of ethos#answered#anonymous#bw: long post#{i made a long post just so i surprise you with a cute billie graphic thats all. that the main topic}
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damnprecious · 5 months
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I just got myself an early christmas present in the form of The Great Wave Lego wall art piece and I built it and it's amazing and beautiful and perfect and I love it so much
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imwritesometimes · 1 year
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opening my laptop like 🤡🤡🤡🤡 how many times can I dump my own self indulgent bullshit no one has asked for on a single ship??
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ambrosiagourmet · 2 months
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I've been thinking about Laios' succubus lately. Mulling it over a bit.
Because I've seen these pages brought up a fair bit, but almost entirely in the context of shipping (on all sides, really). And I really want to understand what they are doing for the story beyond that.
When I went back to reread the scene and section, a few things caught my interest: the way Laios responds to both forms of his succubus, the themes of the volume the chapter is found in, and the other events of the chapter itself.
So let's dive into those three things, and what I think they say about the succubus scene's purpose.
Laios is never fully frozen by the succubus
So. If you compare Marcille and Chilchuck's reactions...
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to Laios':
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There is a difference. Sure, the basics may look the same once it turns into Scylla Marcille, but even then, it functions differently.
Chilchuck and Marcille are completely frozen once they catch sight of their succubus. Izutsumi, as well, isn't able to look away, and completely freezes up once her 'mom' starts talking to her. As Chilchuck describes, "just looking at them makes you unable to move."
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And yet, Scylla Marcille has to actively convince Laios to comply. He even looks away from her at one point!
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Laios accepts this succubus, but he is never actually helpless to it in the same way. Taken in? Convinced? Sure, at least enough to let things happen that he probably should question more than he does. But magically compelled? Not really. Not the same way as everyone else is. So that's interesting. But let's move on for now.
2. Volume 9 is all about drive and desire
I don't often look at chapters within the context of the volume they are included in, but I think there's some really fun things to be found with that perspective in mind.
For one, volume 9 starts with an exploration of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:
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And ends with a question of what desire brought Laios to the dungeon:
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It's also very concerned in general with questions of why people do what they do. Why they are in the dungeon, why they are with the people they are with, why they stay, what they fight for.
In addition to Laios, we see it with Marcille...
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Izutsumi
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Kabru
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and Mithrun
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Hell, we even get it for the demon!
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It's certainly not the only volume concerned with desires and motives, but it is particularly focused on these ideas.
The succubus scene fits quite well into the ongoing question about desires, especially Laios' desires. It is even placed at an interesting spot within the volume. The volume is six chapters long, and the scene takes place at the start of the 4th chapter. It's almost smack-dab in the middle.
With all this in mind, it is interesting that, with both versions of the succubus Marcille, it's not totally clear which parts of her Laios is rejecting.
The first version of Marcille looks human, but Laios attacks when he identifies her as a monster. The second Marcille looks like a monster, but he seems to believe that she is the real (human)(ish) person that he knows. So is he rejecting the monster at first, and then accepting the person? Or is he rejecting humanity and only interested in the monstrous?
Something to consider as we look at the next point...
3. the rest of the chapter is a seduction, too
This is one of those things that might not be apparent on a first reading, but is crystal clear on a revisit. We see the succubus try and charm Laios over 7 pages, and then see the Winged Lion do the same thing for the next 19.
Much like the succubus, it offers the mingling of monsters and humans. Much like the succubus, it offers belonging.
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(and this is the point where I absolutely must also link this post by fumifooms on the succubus, which has some great ideas on how the scene is informed by Laios' trauma and desire for acceptance!!!)
But, back to the point. The Winged Lion wants to feed on Laios just as much as the succubus did, and it uses similar strategies to try and make that happen. Though this chapter isn't really the turning point for the next Lord of the Dungeon (it is Marcille who will, eventually, become the Lion's next victim), it certainly behaves like it is.
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Laios is convinced. The succubus gets its meal. By the end of the volume, the reader begins to understand how concerning his desires are. Together, it is all very good at building up that sense of dread and pending disaster, as we see exactly how and why Laios might just fall into the Lion's open arms and bring about the end of the world.
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So that's the three things I noticed. But there's still something I want to touch on by looking at the way these observations overlap, and what they reveal, together.
As I said, by the end of the volume, you can feel the tension growing. Just as Kabru and Mithrun do, you look back for an answer to the questions that have been built, chapter by chapter: why is Laios here? Where will his loyalties fall? This chapter, and scene, seem to prove the inevitable truth: he will choose the monster, of course. He will choose the seductive, easy power of the Winged Lion.
But the details of what actually happens tell different story: one in which the Lion is wrong.
First, as a reminder - even in Scylla Marcille mode, the succubus never fully entrances Laios. It convinces him, but it doesn't have him completely under its thrall.
Similarly, in the dream, the Lion does convince Laios to embrace the world he is offering. But even within that dream, Laios continues to ask questions that will be vital to him later. It is because of those questions that Laios comes to a new understanding about Thistle.
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And it's this realization that he cites later as part of his reason for refusing the Lion's offer.
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He is thinking through things the entire time, just like he continues to question the succubus even after it turns into Scylla Marcille.
Laios also expresses an interesting reason for why he wants to see the future of this world. He's not just invested because it would mean people liking what he likes, or him getting to spend time with monsters. The thought that comes immediately before his acceptance is about what he wants for monsters and people.
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I don't think it's a coincidence that this statement - "we're living beings that share the same world, but all we can do is keep killing each other" - can apply to the various humans races just as much as it does to humans and monsters. The thing he is thinking about here isn't just a matter of his personal daydreams. It's an idea that underpins every conflict in the story.
Laios caring about how people as well as monsters in this manner is something that the Lion gets wrong every time. Even at the end, he still frames Laios' desires entirely around hating people and loving monsters.
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The Lion has heard him express an opinion about the future of the world! It happened right there in the dream, right in front of him! He just didn't take it seriously, and didn't view it through any lens other than "Laios likes monsters more".
He's convinced that he understands how to get to Laios. Maybe the Lion can't truly see everything, or maybe his vision into everyone's deepest desires has made it hard for him to realize how much choice still matters. That people can, and do, choose which desires to act on, and how to act on them.
Whatever the case, he's wrong about Laios, and the story shows us this over and over again.
After all, look at how the succubus interaction plays out:
A monster uses Marcille to appeal to Laios...
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He realizes that something about the situation is wrong, and rejects her.
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It changes strategies, and makes new offer: to turn him into a monster.
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It also assures him that his friends are, or will be, taken care of.
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He accepts. Or rather, allows the monster to have its way with him.
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But Laios is not as helpless as he initially appears, and what the Lion thinks is a successful seduction also contains the seed of an idea that will allow Laios to later resist him.
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We even get to see Izutsumi playing a similar role in both instances, as the one person fully able to take action in the face to the illusion.
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The story lays out what is going happen, and then explicitly tells us that the demon and the succubus are thematically related.
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The chapter performs a great sleight of hand here - everything about it seems to indicate that Laios is doomed give in to the option to have his deepest desires realized. But if you look closer, it also contains the evidence that he won't. There's a lot more going on for him.
Yes, he still falls for obvious tricks. He is still extremely into monsters, and he still doesn't feel like he fits in with other people. He may, deep down, crave to surrender to the monstrous - to let it absorb him. But he questions more than he seems to. He considers more than people realize. He cares so much more than anyone gives him credit for.
And I think this is part of why we see the succubus called back to so many times, especially with the wolf head addition to his Monster Form, which he specifically added due to his encounter with the Scylla Marcille.
This all stays with Laios. It doesn't just foreshadow the path of the story, it is fundamental to how and why he walks that path. It's not about him choosing monsters, and it's not about him choosing people. It's about how he considers both, and cares about both.
And it's about the forces that think they already know his answer. Mithrun and Kabru. The Winged Lion. The succubus.
It's about how they are wrong.
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astonmartinii · 1 month
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cutie patooties | max verstappen social media au
pairing: max verstappen x fem leclerc!reader
just them terrorising the world with their cuteness (and collecting the younger drivers)
MASTERLIST | TIP JAR | SMALL BUSINESS
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,455 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: he loves redline more than me 🙄
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user1: obsessed with how she's like "oh you wanna ship max with my brother" and then takes lestappen out back and shoots them
user2: as she should, she's the cutest leclerc by far
yourusername: true 😙
maxverstappen1: double true 😘
charles_leclerc: die.
yourusername: erm consider your ass REPORTED THIS IS HARASSMENT
maxverstappen1: did you just threaten my girlfriend ????
charles_leclerc: and what?
maxverstappen1: pull up, i'm outside
charles_leclerc: ???? leave ????
maxverstappen1: no i'm deadass don't disrespect my gf 😤😤😤
charles_leclerc: it's my SISTER
yourusername: when he's protective 😛😛😛
user3: screaming, crying, throwing up over the keychain
user4: i need someone *cough, cough* them to recreate it 🥸
landonorris: YOU WENT TO THE LEGO STORE WITHOUT ME? YOUR FAVOURITE CHILD?
yourusername: watch your tone
maxverstappen1: god forbid i want to spend time with my GIRLFRIEND on a DATE
landonorris: that's not a valid excuse
yourusername: also bold of you to assume you're our favourite child when oscar, yuki and logan are right there
oscarpiastri: snooze you lose lando
yukitsunoda0511: suck on that lando
logansargent: i'm just happy to be included
landonorris: damn...
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maxverstappen1
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,203,513 others
tagged: charles_leclerc & yourusername
maxverstappen1: spent the weekend bothering my girlfriend's brother, what about you?
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user9: the way charles put his ferrari cap on y/n only for max to throw it into the crowd and put his own on her head instead
user10: those who know max's attachment to his caps, this is big.
yourusername: winning looks so sexy oh my
maxverstappen1: blushing like a motherfucker
yourusername: skip the debrief? they won't notice?
maxverstappen1: i think they might notice the driver of the race they're analysing not being there
yourusername: show them the pic i just sent you, they can't say no to my puppy dog eyes
maxverstappen1: helmut said fuck off 💔
yourusername: tell him i have a present for him (it's a pack of salt and vinegar crisps and a pamphlet for caskets)
user11: @yourusername winning IS sexy, tell your bf to tell charles win
yourusername: if charles wins it's suddenly decidedly unsexy, this isn't game of thrones babe
charles_leclerc: you ARE annoying that's right
maxverstappen1: annoyingly sexy
charles_leclerc: no comment, we're going to be family at some point soon
maxverstappen1: DAMN RIGHT WE ARE
yourusername: if you think we're annoying now, oh boy.
user12: i need max and y/n to be engaged right this fucking moment
user13: i think it would actually make my year
user14: after the championship win queen @maxverstappen1 ?
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, oscarpiastri and 1,562,044 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourusername: @ the person who asked how much max weighs... god will deal with you
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user15: i'm obsessed with how obsessed they are with each other
user16: is max's wardrobe all red bull merch and t-shirts dedicated to y/n?
maxverstappen1: yes 😌
danielricciardo: i saw the clip... the time stamp was 3am - we RACE TODAY?
yourusername: i am happy to support my man's hobby
danielricciardo: yes but you also don't have to race with that man on three hours of sleep
yourusername: be real daniel, the only time you'll be close to max is when he laps you xxx
danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME??? MAX YOU GONNA LET YOUR GIRLFRIEND TALK TO YOUR FIRST LOVE LIKE THAT?
maxverstappen1: bold of you to assume you were my first love
danielricciardo: did on the couch mean nothing to you?
maxverstappen1: soz buddy this is a childhood friends to lovers narrative right now (and we were already together by the time i was at red bull)
charles_leclerc: WHAT?
yourusername: spare me the dramatics, you guys were deep in the ANGST and then austria happened so really it's your own fault that it took as long as it did
user17: one comment section where the girls aren't fighting? impossible.
oscarpiastri: omg the shirts look so good y/n !!
yourusername: we're ✨graphic designers✨
maxverstappen1: does having a dashingly handsome model help
yourusername: of course !!!!!
oscarpiastri: i'm not going to answer that question
maxverstappen1: :(
oscarpiastri: on another thought - yes!
yourusername: @landonorris this is why he's one of the favourites
landonorris: i'm not talking to yall
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maxverstappen1
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liked by fernandoalo_oficial, yourusername and 1,309,556 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: weekend off racing means shenanigans and late night streaming
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user20: i know whatever poor soul went for dinner with them hated every second
yukitsunoda0511: working on being the favourite of the favourite children 🫡 and they paid for my meal at a really cool italian restaurant
oscarpiastri: game on
yourusername: so who is the lady and who is the tramp?
danielricciardo: THAT'S A TRICK QUESTION MAX DON'T ANSWER IT
maxverstappen1: you're not a lady... you're a queen 😘
yourusername: did you just fail the test, successfully?
danielricciardo: you smooth motherfucker
yourusername: stole your red bull drive and your nickname @carlossainz55
carlossainz55: why am i catching strays?
yourusername: bored ❤️
user21: y/n really be like "oh the season's boring cause my bf wins everything? let me make it interesting by shading every driver on the grid"
maxverstappen1: do NOT give her a challenge
charles_leclerc: can you PLEASE stop taking such lovey dovey gross ass photos maman keeps getting them printed and I AM GETTING MOVED OFF OF THE MANTEL PIECE I AM ON THE BOOKSHELF, THIS FACE IS A MANTEL PIECE FACE NOT A BOOKSHELF FACE
yourusername: not reading all of that, i'm happy for you or sad that happened x
charles_leclerc: MAX DO SOMETHNG
maxverstappen1: step your pussy up bro
yourusername: when he catches your lingo >>
charles_leclerc: i am a VICTIM
yourusername
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liked by arthurleclerc, landonorris and 1,450,387 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & charles_leclerc
yourusername: invented babygirlism actually
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user22: y/n is so real for choosing a cute recent photo for herself and then just violating the guys
user23: she's funny as fuck for that
charles_leclerc: finally some fucking credit
yourusername: not everything can be about you all of the time 🤨
charles_leclerc: don't make me an ankle-biter again you're PUSHING ME
sebastianvettel: knew you were an ankle biter
yourusername: LOL
charles_leclerc: no seb no! i didn't bite ankles, just y/n's and that doesn't count
user24: what the fuck is going on here
maxverstappen1: you are the most babygirl to ever babygirl
danielricciardo: i think i had a stroke reading that
yourusername: awwwww you're so cute maxy
maxverstappen1: knew you were the one for me when we first met karting, you taught me the babygirl ways
yourusername: and you're delivering
oscarpiastri: you guys can't see but he's blushing so bad right now
landonorris: are you just attached to them
yourusername: yes he is, a babygirl in training
user25: how do i get adopted by y/n and max?
maxverstappen1: no but for real i love you, even if we are lumbered with your brother
yourusername: i love you too xxx
charles_leclerc: *brothers
maxverstappen1: nope arthur and lorenzo are sound
charles_leclerc: fUCK OFF :(((((((
FIN.
note: heyyyyyy you guysssss! we all know i have a soft spot for these two (plus oscar and alex) so i wanted to put out a little thing to celebrate 5k! thank you so much for following and reading my work, hope you enjoyed xx
3K notes · View notes
lolasky · 27 days
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ㅤㅤㅤ HEY DADDY!
[ ᯓ★ ] meeting their future child with you when you're not even dating yet | fem!reader | fluff, humour (at some point), a teeny tiny bit of angst on usopp's one, foul language (just koro saying an 'ass') ꩜ | wc. 4.7k — approx. 1k each |
not said, but kazuki is 4, koro is 8, nyla is 6 and heaven is 11
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤL U F F Y
he'd be so confused once he saw a little boy just like him. not just in appearance, but with his whole energy. once he learned and accepted the fact that the boy – who was his mini version, the crew couldn't even doubt – was his son, he refused to give him back to his timeline.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ☆ ]
the straw hat crew has just docked at an island so they could get some supplies before getting back to sailing.
"okay, so, sanji and i are going to get some food," you tell, waiting for sanji to get out of the kitchen with the list.
"robin and i are going shopping!" nami says excitedly. "are you sure you don't wanna go with us instead with... him...?" she points to the blonde cook, who was lighting up another cigarette.
"i wanna go too!" luffy yells from inside, running to the deck, where the crew were at.
"you. stay." the navigator says through her teeth. "we'll be quick and don't need any trouble. you stay with zoro and watch the ship."
luffy pouted, watching his crew get down from the ship. he looked at zoro, thinking if he could pest him a little, but soon the swordsman brushed him off saying "i'm gonna sleep. if you make any noise or cause some trouble, i'm gonna slice you in three."
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
nami and robin were getting out of another store with more bags, chatting about random things when a kid bumped into them and fell.
"oh, i'm sorry, little one..." robin drops her bags and kneels in front of the little boy, offering her hand to help him stand up, but as soon as she sees his lips quivering and his eyes starting to get wet, she worries.
the little boy stretched his arms out to her, asking silently to be picked up and so she did.
"where are your parents, little boy?" nami asks in a soft tone, watching him getting comfortable in robin's arms.
"and what's your name?" the archaeologist drops the second question.
the kid gazed at the woman, lips quivering again and his voice trembling when he asked "you... you don't rwemember my name aunt lobin?"
nami gave her a weird look. she was as confused as robin. watching the little one in her arms closer, he reminded her of someone. the messy black hair, the big round eyes, the pout. why the hell does this kid look so much like luffy? robin seemed to notice the same thing as her.
"okay... so... what about we look for your parents, huh? and you can tell me your name 'cause i love hearing you say it!" the older woman says, eliciting a big smile from the boy. nami coughed immediately.
"can we go to the shwip? i'm sure they are thewe!" he holds the women's hands and pulls them in any direction.
it sure made the navigator and the archaeologist even more confused because how did he know they had a ship? and why would his parents be there?
"so, sweetheart, tell me your name?" robin asks once again.
"oh! i'm kazuki!" he stops abruptly, making nami almost trip and fall. "i'm monkey d. kazuki!" and that's how their jaws went slack.
"YOU'RE WHO?!" they panic.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
as soon as the girls got back to the sunny, they met all of the crewmates, except for sanji and you, who apparently hadn't been back yet.
"who's that kid?" usopp asks confused. mainly because he couldn't pry kazuki off of him and his nose.
"where did this kid come from?" zoro asks. he was starting to get irritated.
"uncle zoro, whewe is dada?" the little version of luffy asks, a bit upset that usopp could get him off of him.
"how would i know, kiddo?" he answers in the same annoyed tone as ever.
"i'm so hungry! when is sanji coming?" luffy whines, showing up at the deck and there they could spot the similarities.
not only their hair, eyes, pout, or even the big grin kazuki offered, but the energy the kid had. he was just like luffy in many ways. he just wasn't that loud like the straw hat captain – thanks to his mother.
once the crew saw them together, all the pieces seemed to connect. one, two, three blinks in disbelief and the boys' jaws fell to the ground.
"oh, hey kid!" luffy greets him friendly.
"dada!" the little boy jumped into the captain's arms who seemed as clueless as ever.
and a wave of yelling could be heard.
a couple of minutes has passed by and luffy and his son seemed to get along well. zoro, chopper, usopp, brook and franky were in the same position, they were still loading the information.
the captain and his little kid were running around the sunny, playing tag. they even tried to call the others but they didn't... seem like playing.
"you know, kazuki is too old to be in this... uhm... timeline..." nami points it out to robin.
"i know. how can luffy have had a son?" she murmurs, watching both run and giggle around the ship.
"robin!" it seems to call the other back to earth. "i'm seriously worried! and we don't even know who his mother is." the navigator looks stressed. one luffy is enough trouble, but a luffy and a mini him?
"we don't even know how he got here in the first place." robin sighs.
"we're back!" you announce as you put some bags on the floor.
"wow! you took more time than us." nami approaches you. "what happened?"
"well... sanji decided to pick up a fight over a fish..." you say casually. "uhm... did we miss something?" you notice the boys, finding it normal – well, for the straw hats, but as soon you spot a kid running around the ship with the manchild your captain is, you get confused. "who's that kid?"
"long story..." nami smiles innocently.
"did you kidnap a kid?"
"what? no! it's not- it isn't-"
"mama!" a childly voice is heard from the depths of the sunny and you can see that kid from before running to you happily.
okay, it's going too far!
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
"so, this kid, kazuki, is luffy son's with... you?!" usopp tries to connect all the pieces. you hum an "yes" and his brain seems to burn. "too much information, too much information!" he holds his head while falling to the ground dramatically.
"when did you and luffy make a baby?" zoro asks confused as ever.
"don't be stupid mosshead. this kid is clearly from the future." sanji answers, blowing the smoke away.
"thanks, sanji." you smile at him, who looks at you like he's helplessly in love.
you feel a tug in your shirt and look down at your kid. "is something wrong, little one?"
"mama, i wanna sleep..." he rubs his eyes and yawns, blinking slowly while stretching his arms out to you. the whole crew – zoro included – had their hearts melted.
"then let's sleep, huh?" you say softly, picking him up and gently caressing his cheek and hair as he snuggled against you.
luffy runs to you, seeing his child in your arms. "what? don't tell me you're sleepy already, kid!" the captain pouts, watching the baby yawn. "no, let's play more!" he bounces excitedly.
"luffy, he's tired." you hiss, wanting your baby as calm as possible.
"but i wanna play more with my son!" he insists.
"you played enough, don't you think?" you start to make your way inside the sunny with luffy following you, insisting that they should play more. "now he wants to sleep with his mama."
"but-"
"mama, dada, let's sleep, pwease?" hearing the sleepy voice of his child, luffy seems to calm down a little.
"sure baby." you peck his forehead. "but your dada is not joining us 'till he baths." luffy gasps.
"how can you betray the dada of your child like that?" the captain whines, still following you to your quarters.
"yeah, i guess they settled pretty quickly to this life of mama and dada." nami comments, grinning at their recent view.
"i can't believe this idiot became a father before me." usopp complains, murmuring still lying on the floor.
"how do you know that?" chopper asks. "well, maybe all of you are already parents in the future..." that simple sentence was enough to ignite something in zoro, usopp and sanji.
"hey, kazuki! don't sleep right now!" zoro shouts.
"yeah, tell me if your great uncle usopp gave you little friends to play with, huh?" usopp is the first to run, looking for the little family.
"surely i'm the only one qualified enough to even get a spouse!" sanji yells at zoro, punching him to reach the one person who could give him the precious information.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤZ O R O
he'd be as confused as luffy and would deny every word that kid would say. like, only just because a kid has green hair, is almost obsessed with swords, has the guts to insult him and is the sassiest kid he'd ever met, that is his son, huh? he definitely could grow accustomed to the presence of that child and the fact that he made him with you.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ☆ ]
another island could be seen by the pirates. it meant they could dock there to stock some items. franky was the one eager. on their way, some pirates tried to fight the straw hats – which obviously couldn't be a good idea. well, the matter is, the sunny had some minor damages and usopp and franky were trying to keep their home alive.
chopper and you didn't need anything. the medical supplies were enough for a while, so you and he didn't need to go outside, but he wanted to. nami went to see if she could buy something she liked. luffy went to see if he could find a nice restaurant. zoro, robin, brook and you stayed on the ship.
zoro and you had a hate-love relationship. you were friends and would get along, but he's the sassiest man you've ever met and just gets on your nerves. you just want to kill him.
some time has passed by and the crew came back. you were still reading your book, laying your head on robin's legs as she sunbathed.
"hey, uhm... i didn't know zoro and you were together..." usopp says awkwardly, approaching you as robin coughs in disbelief.
"we're not." you stand up, angry. "what is that stupid vegetable slicer saying now?"
"no! nothing! is just... franky and i found a kid... and he's... claiming to be your son..." you gag.
"MY WHAT?!" you hear zoro yelling and soon coughing desperately.
"where is he?" you ask the sharpshooter who points to the entrance. the green-haired kid looks so timid. he's just standing there, looking at every part of the ship. you approach him calmly, bending a bit so you can talk better to him. "hey, kid!" you offer him a smile and he can't help but feel calmer.
"hi, mom..." he answers in a low voice, still shy.
"why don't you say your name and we get to meet the others, huh? so you can tell us more about what's going on. do you know what's going on?" he looks into your eyes and advert his gaze again.
"something like that..." he plays with his fingers before answering your first question. "my name is roronoa koro." your eyes widen a bit, you can't hide your surprise.
"so you're really the kid of that stupid man..." you murmur and he nods.
"i swear he gets more likeable in the future." koro says, earning a warmful giggle from you. seeing his mother never fails to calm him.
"i rather see it myself." you offer your hand to him, who holds it without even thinking. "let's see the others."
as you walk hand-in-hand with koro, getting closer to the crewmates, they couldn't believe what their eyes were just seeing.
zoro's jaw fell on the ground. how- how can he have a child? with... you?
the little kid gasps immediately once he sees the swords zoro is carrying. he runs to his father and try to touch the the swords, but the grumpy swordsman doesn't let him to.
"what you think you doing?" he asks, holding the kid's head so he couldn't get closer.
"do you use them often?" the boy asks, curiosity dripping from his eyes.
"of course, i use them often. why wouldn't i?"
"well, currently, the three swords are untouched, held by a support in the living room's wall..." the little roronoa answers, trying to touch them at all costs. "let me see it!"
"no, you won't touch it!" zoro insists.
a loud noise was heard by the crew. a tray with some snacks was splattered on the floor while sanji stood there, looking at the little mosshead in front of him.
"am i seeing it right?" the blond cook's eyes were wide open. "WHY IS THERE A LITTLE MOSSHEAD?"
"uncle sanji!" the little boy runs to his beloved uncle, who was left flabbergasted.
"you like him? he's a stupid cook!" the swordsman was at a loss of words.
"and so are you." sanji laughs his ass off. his eyes glossy because of the tears of joy. "seriously... i can't believe you had- well, you're gonna have kids with this idiot." he talks directly to you.
"trust me... i have no reasons to..."
"my favourite boy! tell me, kid, what do you wanna eat? i can prepare anything just for you." sanji talks to him, guiding koro to the kitchen. luffy is following them quietly until sanji yells at him so he scurries away.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
trying to know more about him and where he came from, zoro and you sit and talk to koro. you were lying on a wall, koro was by your side and zoro was in front of you.
"so, how did you come here?" you ask the boy.
"i don't know. last thing i remember i was sleeping, then i ended up at that weird place." your son explains. "the weirdest thing is... my sister was next to me... why she's not here too?" he sounded confused.
"wait... not only one but two kids with the mosshead? what did i do to deserve such a punishment?" you mumble.
"ha ha, like it's my dream to have kids with you." the swordsman hissed.
"not only two, but three. you're pregnant." you gag as you listen to his words.
"three..." you whisper, not believing a thing. "what's your thing, huh? three earrings, three swords, three kids. are you obsessed or something?" you yell at zoro who just smirks.
"might be my lucky number." he keeps that eat-shitting grin on that stupid pretty face while you die internally. "wait, you have a sister... what's her... name?"
"the one you fought mom to name her. kuina." koro's face lit up at the mention of his sister. he really loves his family.
that annoying grin zoro held up in his face was replaced by a genuine smile which made you smile along, happy. koro knew about the past of both his parents and was really proud of them.
"lord, please give me strenght..." you sigh. "well, i know it can be a bit... confusing not to call me mom, so you can keep it..."
"and you like it..." you son knows you too well no to notice it. doesn't matter what timeline he's at, you'll always be his favourite person.
"and i like it..." you smile, ruffling his short green hair. "okay, i'll try to find some way to send you back to your life. future me and... zoro... might be worried." you stand up, pecking his forehead and walk away.
"pleeease, let me see it! mom never lets me..." the little boy pouts, making grabby hands at his father as soon as you're out of sight. "please, dad!"
that word. that kid.
"fine. but only if you tell me some things. it'll be our... little dad and son secret." zoro suggests, knowing way too well his son wouldn't refuse.
"deal!" he answers excitedly while watching his father pull wado ichimonji from its sheath.
koro inspects the sword. his eyes are bright, sparkling like a starry sky. he's just like his father, a swords lover. even though his mother has forbidden him from using one. zoro has an amused look watching his little soon-to-be-swordsman.
"so... did i become the greatest swordsman?" he questions, seeing koro maneuvering his sword.
"yes, you defeated mihawk." the reply is short and simple due to the boy's concentration to something else.
zoro just celebrates, murmuring a few things, feeling like he's the strongest man alive.
"did future me teach you that well how to use a sword?"
"sure thing! despite mom's clear rule not to let me touch a sword 'til i was sixteen, you've started to teach me two years ago." the kid smiles.
"and... last thing... uhm... did future me ever tell you how i get your mom?" the swordsman looks a little hesitant, even more when he sees the knowing look koro was shooting at him.
"hate her my ass." the roronoa kid mumbles.
"hey!"
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤU S O P P
the moment he spotted you coming back with a child, he thought you've just kidnapped her, but as soon as he laid his eyes on the little girl, he thought it was too good to be just a joke. when the girl introduced herself, he couldn't help but smile and welcome her, loving the idea of being the father of such a cute girl.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ☆ ]
the crew were preparing to set sail. the island they docked at was way too small, so they hadn't much to do there. as soon as they've got everything they needed – or the island could provide – they'd get back to sailing.
yet, you were walking around the place, seeing some things, and if you liked it, you'd keep it.
you were standing at a fruit stall, hearing the seller babble about some rare golden fruit he just got from a distant island, but you knew it was just talking. you were distracted by your favourite fruit – which looked so pretty and delicious – that you didn't even notice a little girl running around.
"dada? dada!" she was screaming. she looked so terrified.
you turned around, seeing the kid crying. some people were trying to help her, some people were just ignoring her and passing by. but as soon as she spots you, she runs to you like you are her hope.
"mama!" she clutched to you and refused to let you go.
"oh! uhm... hey, baby... i'm- i'm not your mother, kid..." you tried to pry her off of you, but her grip was too strong.
"yes, you are! you're my mama! dada always talks about you and shows pictures of both of you. you are my mama!" she yells at you, not giving you space.
"okay, okay, let me see you, right?" she looked hesitant, but eventually she loosened her grip and looked up to you. she was so beautiful and reminded you of someone. "first, tell me your name, huh?" you knelt in front of her, taking her face in your hands.
"nyla..." the girl looks at you with such admiration.
"and where are your parents?" she frowned.
"you're here!" she insists, pouting when you refuse to be her mother. "you've met me! and dada might... be on the ship?"
"what?"
"the ship, mommy! can we go there, please?" her eyes were sparkling.
"fine..." you just accept. she streches her arms out to you, wanting to be as close as possible to you. you pick her up, heading to the sunny.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
"uhm... who's... that girl?" usopp asks as he's the first to spot you with a child in your arms.
"dada!" nyla is quick to let go of you and run to her father, who just stands there, looking shocked.
"HE'S YOUR FATHER?" you yell, as shocked as usopp.
"yes! and you're my mama! and i'm happy to be here!" she points and hugs usopp, who embraces her too.
nami shows up at the deck and frowns. "who-"
"our daughter." you just accepted. it looked so confusing and complicated, you just accepted.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
late at night, nyla wanted her father to sleep with both of you, but when you said usopp had to sleep in the boy's quarters, she sulked a bit, but eventually, accepted. it was clear to see that she was attached to you, like your shadow, or an extension of you.
"okay, so, i can stay just by the time you sleep, or else your mother throws me outta the ship." usopp explains casually, smiling, getting in the bed.
"right! i want mommy anyways!" she nuzzles her face in the crook of your neck while hugging you.
"see! i'm the favourite, hah!" you tease the sniper, who crosses his arms, sulking.
"that's not fair, nyla!" he tells her in a whining voice.
right after that, you can feel something wet on your neck and a sniffing.
"nyla, baby, why you're crying?" you push her a bit, trying to see her face. her eyes are red and wet, tears rolling down her cheeks nonstop.
"dada are you mad at me?" the little girl asks her father, whose eyes widen in surprise.
"no, no, i could never, love." he rushes to scoop her in his arms, calming her.
"i just wanna spend more time with mama..." her voice is muffled due to her face being pressed to usopp's chest.
"why that? i'll always be with you, huh?" you try to soothe her, but it doesn't, she sobs even more.
"i just have my dada now, mama. you're not there. i wanna spend more time with you because when i get back you won't be there..." you glanced at usopp, who looked even more panicked than you are.
"hey, come to mama..." you call her and nyla is quick to hug you. "don't think about that, okay? i'm here for you right now." you kiss her cheek, wiping her tears away. "and i won't leave by your side until is your time to get back to your life." she looked into your eyes, trying to catch every inch of your face so she can remember. "now let's sleep so tomorrow we can enjoy more!" she smiled.
"night momma, night dada!" nyla pecked yours and her father's cheek, then she closed her eyes, waiting for her time to be kissed.
usopp and you chuckled, leaning in to kiss both of her cheeks, making her giggle happily.
"night, baby girl." usopp sang, caressing her hair.
you closed your eyes, getting yourself comfortable to sleep and usopp stayed there, just like he said. well, is not like he'll get any sleep that night, after all, now he knows he has a daughter with the woman of his dreams, but she's not there.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤS A N J I
the moment he saw a little girl looking for her parents, he'd be stunned. he could clearly see some of your traits on her face, just like your smile – the thing he adored the most about you. but he'd be confused asf, because who's that girl? when she finally introduces herself, saying she's the daughter of blackleg sanji and you, he'd faint. has... his dream just come true?
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ☆ ]
you were in the kitchen with sanji. since the others have just gone to explore the new island, someone had to watch the ship, and you offered to do that. the cook, not missing an opportunity, said he'd be with you, after all, he couldn't let a delicate flower like you alone at an unknown place, right?
at the moment, sanji is cooking like always. he's making some kind of dessert he refuses to tell what it is.
"sanji, are you sure it doesn't contain anything i'm allergic to?" you ask, trying to peek at some of the ingredients.
"please, my swan, i'm not some kind of inexperienced chef, am i? i would never cook something you're allergic to. now, please, take a seat and be ready, i'm almost done." he says and you do, taking your seat and preparing yourself. sanji turns around, placing the plate with the colourful dessert in front of you. "et voilà! hope you like it!"
"i always appreciate your cooking." and you take a little bite. your eyes roll in pleasure. you're so lucky to have a sous chef in your crew.
sanji just looked at you in awe. he could move a mountain if it meant he could get you smiling.
"excuse me!" an unknown voice shouted from afar. you shoot a glance at the cook who is doing just the same.
"can't believe i'm being interrupted..." you murmur, taking another bite before heading to the deck with sanji following you.
there you were welcomed by a girl. her blue dress was a little dirty and you wondered if she has fallen.
"can we help you?" the blond cook asked her in a soft voice.
"uhmm... yes..." she looked a little hesitant. "i know it may sound a bit... unusual, but... my name is heaven and... i'm your daughter..." she avoided your gaze.
a loud thump was heard and you looked at your side. sanji has just fainted.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ[ ... ]
caught by some headache, sanji woke up. he was lying on the hammock...? but, i was on the deck...? well, he had some kinda dream. not weird, but the perfect dream! that might be the reason for that headache.
hearing distant voices, he waltzed through the ship, going to the kitchen. there, he could see you and the same girl in his dream!
"what?" he mumbles. heaven notices him and signs to you.
"oh, sanji, dear, come here!" you called him so excited he couldn't refuse – not like he would do it anyways. he always does what you say. "do you remember what heaven said?" you ask carefully.
"uhm... she's our daughter...?" the cook says hesitantly, afraid that what he has heard was just a dream.
"yess!" you squeal.
the girl seemed so amused. getting to know her parents when they're not even together yet. in her timeline, they're so in love with each other and her and... now... her mother seems so clueless or just... don't wanna know about him. after all sanji is a womanizer (for now).
"so it's true! hah! i thought it was just a dream, but is true!" now is his time to squeal and that makes heaven smile.
"it's different to see you like that..." the girl points out. "you know... having your hair hiding your eye."
"uhm..." he clears his throat. "it's just part of my style."
"i like your curly brows, dad!" she smiled and that alone would make sanji smile too, but the way she called him, it warmed his heart.
"okay, sanji, we've got you're excited to know you have a daughter-" you start, but he interrupts.
"with you! the most amazing woman i've ever got to know!" he bats his lashes, smiling widely.
"yeah... with me... but we need to know how to send her back to her timeline. she can't be here. she's not supposed to be here. future you and me might be worried... mainly you." you explain and he quickly gets to hug the girl, who appreciates her father's gesture.
"but she's our daughter! would you do that?!" he sounds so desperate, you may just slap him.
"yeah! but only in the future! it'll just mess up our time! maybe we don't even get together anymore."
"okay, kid! see you in the future." he immediately walks away from her, but quickly runs back, clinging to her. "but we can keep her while we don't find a way to send her back, right?"
"yeah! can i?" she joins her father, pouting and batting her lashes.
"fine! you didn't even need to do all that! what would i do to you if not keep you? throw you at the sea?" you ask in disbelief.
"he's the one most likely to get thrown..." heaven points to sanji.
"hey!"
"let's just wait for the crew and give 'em some good news." you smile, watching sanji and heaven get along well.
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@LOLASKY ᡣ 𐭩 actually i've wrote sanji's part with the live action sanji in mind. idk he just looks so more mature... actually the live action characters in general!! but yeah wtv- dividers and template by @/cafekitsune
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canthelpit0 · 13 days
Text
Fake?
Pairing: Matt sturniolo x Reader
Word count : 3.2k +
Summary: matt and reader have known each other since forever. And they’ve been attached at the hip since forever. But what happens when they start to just let everyone think they’re dating, since it’s too hard to convince them otherwise anyway..
Warnings: friends to lovers, fluff, (sort of) fake dating, use of y/n, sweet talk, praise kink, pet names (sweetheart, baby, etc.), gentle sex, oral fem!Reciving, unprotected, creampie, 2nd person.
(A/N: sorry this is actually so short. But I wanted to write something more fluffy for Matt.)
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Being childhood friends with the triplets there was always something going on in your life.
You and Matt have been tied at the hip since you were just babies. And sometimes it felt like he was more dependent on you than his own triplet brothers.
You were always together, hanging out. Good thing you were neighbors.
Back when you were younger it was even worse. You’d always sleep in the same bed. Whether at his or your house, you were always snuggling into each other.
You’d hold hands whenever you went anywhere. You made his anxiety better.
You were always there for him. And always being there for him, you were there for his first panic attack. You didn’t know what to do, but just your presence made him calm down faster.
How close you were was questionable, It was cute when you were kids, but you were both seniors in high school now.
Obviously, you were best friends with Nick and Chris too. Yet with Matt, it was different.
He was popular around school. Well not really him. But he was known because he is a triplet. Matt out of the three of them was the most introverted so naturally, he seemed the most mysterious.
Most people also thought you two were dating. And you did nothing to stop them from thinking that. After all, why would you care about what they say?
Matt was currently pacing around in front of you though. You were sitting on your bed, propped against your headboard, as you just watched him move around.
Contrary to popular belief, The most you and Matt had ever done is kiss. And that was only because you got dared to in middle school. And it was only one time.
“C’mon y/n/n please” he whines dramatically. Matt comes over to your bed draping his upper body across your legs, his hands are clasped together dramatically.
“It’s like we’re already dating anyway.”
Matt and his brothers have a shared YouTube that they started recently, about being triplets. You have featured in it plenty of times.
People were shipping you and Matt. And people in real life also thought you were dating.
So Matt being scared to be shipped with other content creators, or any girl he was around, wanted you to pretend to be his girlfriend.
You wouldn’t even have to change anything about the way you act, really. You two already act like a couple.
“Matt” you sigh your hands finding their way to his hair. You card through it gently rubbing his scalp.
“Y/n/n please” he begs again. His upper body is draped on your legs. His lower body is kneeling on the floor next to the bed.
Matt didn’t like being shipped. But he’d been shipped with you all his life. And if he had a ‘girlfriend’ people would stop getting into his business.
“Okay” you give in. Because of course, you do. This is your long-time best friend. You can never say no to him.
He perks up. “Really??” He sits up on his knees on the floor. His arms are still draped across your lap.
“Yeah, but what does it In tail ?” You ask slowly with a slight smile creeping up your face at the way he reacted.
“Nothing, we just say we’re dating” he shrugs. You already acted like it.
“Y’know and maybe kiss sometimes” he shrugs with a slight smile. He wasn’t going to kiss you every time you were on camera, that’d feel forced. He was just gonna kiss you whenever he felt like it, and use that as a way to show affection.
“Nothing we haven’t done before” he adds jokingly.
In a rush of boldness, you pull him up by his shirt and pull him towards yourself. He gets on top of you with a teasing smile, and your lips crash together.
It’s a sweet normal kiss, there are no sparks. It’s just a simple press of lips.
Once he pulls away you chuckle. “What’re we gonna tell Nick and Chris?” You question. “Are they gonna know?”
“Just let them think we’re dating too, I'm pretty sure they’re already convinced” Matt chuckles looking down at you fondly.
He gets off of you, rolling to the side of your bed. He pulls the covers up and gets underneath. Matt pulls you down too, so that you’re lying snuggled up in his arms.
★ ★ ★
So that is how you two started dating. And that was two years ago now.
At that time they’d only had around 20k YouTube followers and way more on TikTok. And now they were at 6 million.
You were also a YouTuber and TikToker now. Except you post whenever you want to.
You’d moved out from Boston to LA with them because, oh you’re still Matt’s girlfriend.
You have your own bedroom. Though you don’t use it very much. You’ve always loved sleeping in the same bed as Matt, cuddling all night, and that never changed.
People believe you’re dating. Which was the whole point. Even your families do, with no suspicion at all.
Except what nobody knows, is that you and Matt have never done anything further than make out. Even with two years of dating. You just never cared to really.
But you did everything else, cuddle, share sweet kisses, go on dates, hang out, and be close to each other.
It was almost like you were actually dating.
And the reason why it lasted so long with barely any problems, was because you and Matt never had an eye for anyone else. It was always you two against the world.
You and Matt were sitting on the couch watching some Netflix show. Nick and Chris were not home, they were at some influencer party.
Suddenly you turn your body and get on top of Matt. You leave a long kiss on his lips, catching him off guard.
“Matt.”
He looks back at you as you sit there straddling his lap. His hands snake to your waist to hold you. Your hands resting on his shoulders.
“Mhm?” He hums in response.
“You know how we’ve done almost everything a couple would?” You ask slowly.
He raises an eyebrow at the statement but nods.
“How about we-“ you cut yourself off for a moment. You click your tongue thinking of how to word it. “Can we fuck?”
That catches Matt off guard. Since it’s once again not what he expected. He pauses looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
“You want me to fuck you?” He asks again seeing if he heard that correctly.
“Yes please?” You say slowly. But before you can question if it was a smart idea to ask that or not, he’s already lifting you and carrying you to your shared bedroom.
He throws you onto the bed gently. You tell at the impact but before you know it Matt’s lips are on yours again.
He pulls away for a moment to swiftly pull his shirt over his head and throws it away. You’ve seen him shirtless countless times, but this was different. This felt… sensual, almost.
He gets on top of you, as you lay in the middle of the king-sized bed. He showers you with kisses, slowly trailing his kisses to your jawline and neck.
You can feel him suck on your collarbone leaving a Purple bruise. Your breath hitches as you start to feel his hand start to run over your side.
You keep looking up at him through lust heavy eyes. You watch his every move anticipating what he’ll do next.
“Want me to make you feel good sweetheart?” He teases, his tone ever so soft.
Ever since you’ve known Matt was a romantic. Almost even a hopeless romantic. But maybe it was you all along.
“Please” you breathe out. Matt pulls away slightly his eyes looking over your face. He looks fond. Like you’re the best thing to ever have happened to him.
He starts to tug on your shirt. “Can I?” He whispers. This entire thing feels so incredibly romantic and loving.
You nod, shifting slightly to let him take your shirt off.
Once his eyes fall on your bra he smiles. He smiled fondly like this was all he had been waiting for all his life.
“You’re so gorgeous.“
He mumbles under his breath. His kisses go back to your collarbone, leaving even more love bites on it.
“I’ll make you feel good sweetheart, I promise.” He smiles. He places a sweet peck on your cheek before he starts to trail them down your body.
Once he reaches your pants he tugs on them lightly before you whine out an agreement.
As soon as it’s off he starts to admire your half naked body in front of him. Matt perches between your thighs leaving a teasing peck on your clothed clit.
“Please” you sighs. You push yourself back on him. Matt chuckles at the movements. He pushes you down by your hips.
“Patience honey” he chuckles teasing you by kissing up your inner thighs. He was purposefully not stimulating the part you needed him the most.
“Matt please” you whine throwing your head back on the bed as you wait for Matt to do something, anything.
“Look at me baby.” He hums softly kissing up your inner thigh. He rubs your thighs slightly while you pick up your head to look back down at him.
You groan dramatically. “Matt”
The way Matt looks between your things like that only serves to make you even wetter.
He chuckles finally starting to pull your panties off gently. He slides them off and throws them across the room. Be careful not to put any pressure on you.
He smiles down at you. Matt sits up between your legs. “How about we take this off yeah?” He hums. His hands trails over your bra. You eagerly lean up to give him access to take your bra off.
He also threw that across the room.
You sigh, laying back down dramatically. Your chest moves at the impact of you laying back down.
Matt eyes lock on your chest
He smiles fondly. He takes one of your tits in his hand starting to fondle it gently.
“You’re so gorgeous, baby” he smiles leaning down for a moment to kiss you, and then trailing his kisses down your throat and between the valley of your breasts.
You let out a soft breath feeling his lips press against all these sensual places.
“Matt please. Come on” you whine dramatically laying flat on your back waiting for him to do something. Anything.
He chuckles, deciding to speed up the teasing. He places himself back between your thighs. Matt then pulls your leg over his shoulders.
“I wanna make this memorable for you.” He says. But before you can respond he licks a bold stripe up your pussy.
You gasp at the feeling. You close your eyes briefly and then look at him.
Before you can complain about the lack of contact, he leaves a kiss on your clit before starting to suck on it.
His groans were sending vibrations through you. he was sucking and swirling his tongue, lapping up your juices. He was eating you out like you were his last meal.
You were chanting his name like a prayer while he just kept vigorously eating you out. Your hands stay tangled in the messy waves, you gently tug on it.
Until without warning you felt his fingers plunge into your tight aching cunt. You feel him start to move them as you feel yourself get closer to the edge.
“Matt- im-“ you get cut off by a moan when Matt curls his fingers at just the right spot.
His eyes stay focused on you. He watches you with a sharp gaze. Watching the way you react.
His movements speed up even more. And before you can warn him you feel the knot in your stomach snap.
He continues to eat you out, lapping up your juices, until you calm down. He licks a final stripe up your pussy watching you shudder at the slight overstimulation.
You tug at his hair and he finally comes back up with his chin coated in your juices. He wipes his chin off with the back of his hand, grinning.
“You’re doing so well for me princess.” Matt smiles leaning down and pressing another sweet kiss to your forehead.
“Matt, please fuck me.” You breathe out. You’re tone begging.
You’ve known Matt all your life. He was your childhood best friend. The guy who you’ve been fake dating for years now. The guy who treated you like a princess, despite your relationship only being for show.
And yet all you wanted to do right now is be with him. Be as close to him as possible.
In hindsight. All of this was inevitable. You’ve always been a little too close, a little too touchy. You’ve always known too much about each other.
That was the reason why most of your, and his other relationships didn’t work out.
“ ‘Corse sweetheart.” He smiles, unbuckling his belt and swiftly removing his jeans.
His dick is big. And that’s not even exaggerated. it was bigger than you expected. But it somehow made sense for him.
The tip was the same rosy color he had on his blushing cheeks. It wasn’t too vainy just the perfect amount. You knew from the size that it’d mildly hurt.
You whine at the feeling of him sliding his cock through your soaked folds.
You feel Matt gently push in. You throw your head back at the feeling making sure to keep your eyes on him.
“Fuck you’re so big” you breathe out. Only his tip was in, but the girth was enough to have you drooling.
“I’ll take it slow, honey” he looks down at you fondly.
And all that fake dating, fake love thing you guys have been doing for years was starting to feel just a little too real.
Once he fully bottoms out he sighs. He doesn’t move for a little, letting you get used to the feeling.
“You can move” you mumble under your breath.
“Your wish is my command princess” he jokes slightly. Matt starts to thrust in and out of you. His pace is gentle and slow.
And with the way he is leaning over your body, keeping the eye contact, it seems so loving and sensual.
“Oh my god Matt-“ you throw your head back, your eyes closing.
Matt was just looking down at you all fond and loving. He looks at you like you’re the only woman in the world. The only woman whom he cares for.
“Fuck- I love you” you breathe out. Without even realizing what you were saying. You’ve said I love you to each other so many times. Yet all those times it was for show or meant platonically.
But this. This was not. You were in love with your best friend. The guy who you’ve been sort of fake dating for two years.
“Oh? do you?” Matt replies teasingly.
He leans down starting to kiss down your neck once again. And the feeling of that only makes you even more aroused. Your breath hitches when you realize what you’d just admitted.
Before you can panic though, Matt starts talking.
“I love you too”
He wasn’t slowing down. He didn’t seem phased by the confession. Like he knew, or was expecting it.
“Do you?” You breathe out.
Matt pulls back slightly. He looks down at you as you timidly open your eyes again. Your eyes lock on his once more. He stares at you with all the love and lust in his body.
“I should’ve told you earlier.” He admits. He lets out a slight laugh at the idea.
His eyes trail your body. Admiring every curve and feature you have.
“It’s okay.” Your eyes are half-lidded, watching him watch you. “Are you mine now? For real?”
“I’m all yours, princess”
And that sentence alone had you rolling your eyes into the back of your head. the way he was talking mixed with the sensual thrusts he was giving. It all felt so good.
It just felt so intimate and loving.
He leans down again his lips capturing yours.
You sloppily kiss back. His thrusts remain deep and sensual.
One of his hands moves to your breast again starting to fiddle with it, occasionally flicking the nipple.
He pulls away from the kiss. He changes hands giving just as much attention to your other breast.
“You wanna come for me baby?” His tone is light and teasing, but laced with so much lust and affection.
“Please”
He smiles pulling himself up. He yanks your legs over his shoulders, readjusting. He starts to harshly thrust into you.
The new angle making him hit deeper. He was hitting every spot in you, making you weak in your knees.
You whine and moan loudly, not bothering to keep quiet since no one is home. You chant his name like it’s the only thing you can think of- which it is.
His breath is sharp too, he lets out occasional groans which send tingles to your core.
He sounds so good.
Matt’s thumb finds its way to your clit starting to rub in it harshly.
“You’re squeezing me so tight honey.” He lets out a harsh breath.
You can only whine in response. The feeling of him drilling into your cunt is overwhelming. You feel like you couldn’t talk, even if you tried.
“You gonna come?” He huffs starting to pick up the pace, both with rubbing on your clit and fucking your cunt.
You feel the intense pressure of the knot, ready to snap in your stomach.
“Let go for me.”
As soon as the words leave his lips you feel yourself clench against him. your eyes close as you feel your orgasm wash over you.
He keeps thrusting into you, fucking you through your orgasm.
“Can I come in you?” Matt breaths out. And all you think to do is nod. You were on the pill, but Matt was gonna take the safe route and ask before he did it anyway.
As soon as you nod you hear his sharp breaths. His hips speed up. The sound of your lewd wetness and the sound of skin slapping is echoing loudly.
His hips start to stutter until he finally slows down.
He collapses on top of you, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck.
Matt keeps himself inside of you. You feel the way your combined juices leak out of you. You feel the warmth and closure of his body.
He pulls back again. He looks down at you. “So does this count as our new actual anniversary or are we gonna use the fake one?” He says his tone is half joking.
He had that goofy, almost giddy smile on his face. And his smile was making you smile.
“I don’t know we can have both?” You suggest.
After a moment of just staring, admiring each other he pulls out slowly so as to not hurt you.
He stares down at your pussy for a second. Looking at the way it looks all filled with his seed.
“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” He smiles. He bites his lip when his eyes finally meet yours again.
“Can’t leave your pussy like this.” He teases, stealing another quick peck from your lips, making you smile.
Masterlist
(A/N: again sorry this is kinda ass, but I rlly like the concept 🫶🏼)
‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️
Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolols
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badjokesbyjeff · 3 days
Text
There were three race horses; ernie, bill, and ted. 
the three of them were good friends; they enjoyed racing each other and generally won and lost to each other equally. every evening, after the races, they went to a local bar to relax and drink some beer. they would often discuss racing techniques, their families, etc.
one season, bill wasn't doing so well. he rarely beat the other two, and was worried that he'd be sent to the glue factory if his luck didn't change. one night, at the bar, he talked with ernie and ted about it.
"you know, guys, i just can't figure it out," he said. "everything's fine at home; the kids are doing great, my wife is being nice, the bills are paid, my mother-in-law rarely visits - nothing could be better. maybe i'm just getting old. if things don't pick up soon, they'll send me to the glue factory."
the bartender, a big llama from peru, overheard the conversation. he looked around, to make sure nobody else was listening, then said, "hey, pal, i got something for you that'll make you feel like a young colt again." he reached under the bar and pulled out an unlabeled bottle of beer. "here, drink this; i guarantee you'll start winning again. come by each night for a week and I'll give you one. if it doesn't work, i'll give you double your money back!"
bill looked at ernie and ted, who only shrugged, then drank the contents of the bottle. "oh, just one thing," the llama said, "it'll make your ass itch, but that's okay; it's just a side effect. don't worry about it." the three horses stayed a few hours, played a few games of pool and darts, and went home.
over the course of the next three days, they went back to the bar each night, and bill continued the regimen of mystery beer. his racing times did improve! he was slowly moving back up in the rankings, and was soon back into the top three with ernie and ted. bill was ecstatic, and thanked the llama profusely.
"hey, my pleasure," said the llama.
a few weeks passed by, and ernie started slowing down. after losing three races in a row, he sobbed to himself, "i just don't get it. my life couldn't be better. i can't believe I'm getting old! they'll send me to the glue factory if i don't get back in the groove!"
that evening, at the bar, he told the llama bartender about his troubles, and asked if he too could try the mystery beer. "okay, but remember, it'll make your ass itch - but don't pay it no mind. it's just a harmless side effect."
"no problem. it'll be worth it to get back in the groove," ernie said.
a few days went by. ernie's ass did indeed itch, but after a few more days, his races improved, and he was back in the top three with bill and ted.
at the bar one evening, ernie bought a round of beers for all the horses, and thanked the llama profusely.
"i just can't believe how great that mystery beer worked!" ernie said. "you're sitting on a gold mine, there!" the llama said it was his pleasure, don't worry about it, etc.
a few more weeks went by, and now ted started slowing down, losing races. he, too realized that he'd be shipped off to the glue factory unless his races improved.
"say," he said to the llama one night after a particularly humiliating loss, "i think i need to try that mystery beer too. they'll ship me off to the glue factory for sure if I don't start winning again."
"no problem," the llama said, pulling out an unlabeled bottle. "here. come back every night, and i guarantee you'll be back in top form again, or i'll give you double your money back."
over the course of the next few weeks, ted's races continued to improve until he was back in the top three with bill and ernie. he pranced into the bar, full of vim and vigor, and thanked the llama profusely. "you know, my ass itches a lot; it's almost unbearable. but i can't thank you enough. they would have turned me into glue by now if it weren't for you. anything you want, let me know and i'll see what i can do."
"no problem," said the llama, "i make this beer at home using an ancient inca recipe. it's just my way of thanking my regular customers for their patronage over the years."
"i'm not kidding," ted said, "this is the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. anything, you name it, anything you want, let me know, and it's yours."
"well, now that you mention it..." the llama began -
right then, a greyhound walked up to the bar. he was obviously depressed.
"barkeep, give me something strong. i'm on a losing streak you wouldn't believe," the greyhound said.
ted looked at the greyhound, then at bill and ernie, and said, "hey, look! a talking dog!"
745 notes · View notes