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#and if you thought that was bad youre actually stupid'
emphistic · 3 days
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hi emm! Since it’s prom season could u make basketball sukuna reacting to someone from the team asking you out for prom?
A/N: hii! i actually received a vv similar request a long time ago and i deleted it because i didnt know how to write it, so maybe this is a sign from God — my redemption time, LMAO
PS: sorry to all my readers who are actually jelly lovers, i am not one of you
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“So,” Gojo started, while shoving fries into his mouth, “have you got a date yet? Prom’s comin’ up real quick, y’know?”
The basketball team had just won their last game of the season, and all the players were eating out together in celebration. Sukuna was planning on just spending the rest of the night celebrating with you, like usual, but Gojo dragged him away and you only gave a thumbs up in encouragement. What a girlfriend you were, Sukuna scoffed, handing off your dear boyfriend to Gojo Satoru.
“Why do you care?” Sukuna grimaced at Gojo’s messy eating habits. How could one dare to speak while stuffing their face? Sukuna thought Gojo grew up wealthy, and, hey, aren’t rich people supposed to be, like, super into decorum? Where is this man’s etiquette?
“Sheesh, sorry for asking. I just wanted to know if my friend here,” he nudged Sukuna with his elbow, “needed some help getting a date. No need to be ashamed, Captain. I could hook you up with one of Utahime’s friends.”
“Yeah, no. But since you’re so curious, Satoru, I do have a date, actually.”
“No way, seriously? The big, bad, captain of the basketball team, has a date? For prom? I have to tell Suguru this.” Gojo whipped out his phone and, with his sauce-covered fingers, started typing like a madman.
Sukuna cringed, looking away and biting into his burger. This did not taste as good as your cooking. Why oh why did you let Satoru take him away? he thought. Sukuna would much rather be with you right now, even if it meant having to sit through one of your godawful rom-coms. Any of those would be better than Gojo fucking Satoru.
“I cannot believe he is missing this because he’s sick. Sick! That’s actually sick of him. Haha, get it?” Gojo leaned back in his chair, and Sukuna wished he would slip and fall backwards.
“There’s nothing shocking about me having a date, Satoru. I’m not some kind of loser.”
“Yeah, well. Yorozu’s not attached to your arm right now, so I thought—”
“I told you, I don’t like her like that. I don’t like her at all, matter of fact.”
“She’s, like, obsessed with you, dude.”
“I know,” Sukuna ran a hand down his face. “Just wish she would leave me alone, I’ve been trying my best to avoid her. And I haven’t seen her as often, so I think it’s working.” If Yorozu didn’t take the hint sooner or later, Sukuna would make your guys’ relationship known to the whole campus if he had to. Hell, Gojo didn’t even know yet. No one did, actually.
“Damn, so cold. You just gonna ignore her and break her heart?” Gojo laughed, but that quickly came back to kick him in the butt when he started choking on a fry.
“If you’re not joking, that fry will be the last thing you eat. I swear on your life, I do not want anything to do with that bitch.”
Gojo continued coughing and choking and shaking, but when all subsided and the white-haired man regained most of his posture, he posed the question, “So, you’re not gonna, like, ask me?”
“Ask you what? Ask you to prom? The fuck?”
“No, no, no. I mean, unless you wanted to,” Gojo tucked an overgrown strand of hair behind his ear, a stupid expression on his stupid face. “But, I’m talking about what I asked you. So, you gonna ask me if I have a prom date?”
“I don’t give a fuck if your lame ass has a date or not,” Sukuna spat out.
“Have you any idea how hurt I am now, because of you? Ehuhwaaa,” Gojo let out the fakest ugliest cry Sukuna had ever heard. “You think my ass is lame? Do you know how many would pay to see even a glimpse of my tush?”
“No. And I hope it stays that way.”
“I—how dare you.”
That night, Sukuna had to run away from Gojo in the parking lot of an In-n-Out. Otherwise, Gojo would’ve probably never left him alone. And, you might be thinking, Gojo is a fast runner. How did Sukuna get away? Well, it may or may not have been because Gojo had scarfed down three double-doubles prior. And he could barely stand upright without having to lean against Sukuna.
But, fear not, Sukuna did make it home, into your arms. And even though he did have to sit through your stupid rom-coms, he was so fucking glad to finally be away from that white-haired idiot.
Unfortunately for Sukuna, that peace and tranquility was short-lived. The next morning, he was woken up by your overly obnoxious doorbell. Seriously, when were you going to replace it?
Sukuna groaned, whispering into your hair, “Didn’t know you were expecting visitors, babe.”
“Hm?” Your voice was muffled; your face pressed impossibly close into Sukuna’s bare chest.
“Visitor, sweetheart. Someone’s at your door.”
“Huh?” You stuck your head up from your human pillow, and though missing the warmth, you were quite confused. Visitor? Since when?
It’s safe to say you were even more surprised to see Gojo Satoru outside when you opened your door. But you weren’t the only confused one, not for long, at least. Gojo raised his brow when he saw Sukuna emerge from behind you in all his glory: shirt nowhere to be found, hair unruly, and sweatpants hanging low on his hips.
“Captain? What are you—?” Gojo cleared his throat, “Whatever. Anyway, will you, Y/N, do me the honor of being the jelly to my peanut butter and going to prom with me?” Gojo flashed a smile so bright Sukuna almost fell backwards.
“Uhh, I’m sorry—”
“She doesn’t even like jelly, dumbass. And what’s with this horrendous sign? That’s seriously the best you’ve got?” Sukuna gestured with his chin at the poorly drawn and colored peanut butter jar and jelly. Not to mention, Gojo was also dressed as a sandwich, with two slices of bread on either side of his body.
“What the hell? How would you know if she liked jelly or not?”
“Because I’m her prom date.”
“And—and, what are you doing at her house?”
“I’m her boyfriend.” Sukuna glared at the white male, and slung an arm around your shoulder, out of spite.
Gojo paused, finally putting the puzzle pieces together. “Ohhh. So that’s why you didn’t want to come eat with us yesterday. And that’s why you were so desperate to go home. And that’s why I haven’t seen you with another girl in months.”
“Uh huh.”
“Anywho,” Gojo turned back to you, shoving his sign all up in your face. “Will you go to prom with me?”
“Dude.”
Taglist: @beyond-your-stars @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @taiyakii @hannas16 @acroso @msvalsius @call-memissbrightside @kelerina-ballerina @emikokomura
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ghouljams · 2 days
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Tw porn link, feel free to delete this (and please ignore the cringe caption asdfghjkl)
https://x.com/6ixnsfw/status/1770641510301593944?s=46
Anyways mean dom Soap lives in my mind rent free, the thought of him using a plug like this on his darling makes me want to go lie out in the middle of the road.
Literally can’t stand him (I need him so bad it makes me look stupid)
Ugh mean dom Soap makes me stupid
Plugging your tight little ass and snapping cuffs on your wrists. You give him a confused look when the cuffs aren't connected, just dangling their pretty cold chains loose off your wrists. Only to have Johnny connect the loose chains to the plug, forcing you to keep your arms down, unable to move without dislodging the plug or being stopped by your own thighs. He holds your legs up for you, keeps them pinned to your chest with one firm forearm, his bicep flexing to hold you in place each time you try to squirm.
And squirming is a dangerous thing, because each twitch of movement has him delivering harsh smacks to your clit. He fucks the plug into your ass in shallow thrusts, careful not to tug too hard at your arms. Just enough to make you whine, which earns you another spank to your poor clit. He's going to have your pretty pussy bruised and drooling for him before he even forces his fingers into you. Always affirming that you can take it, that good whores like you enjoy the pain, and what a nasty little thing you are for enjoying the pain it's just proof that you really are a whore like he says you are. It's nice being a whore though, when you agree with him, degrade yourself for being disgusting and wanting him to hit you harder he pushes two thick fingers into your cunt.
He's so quick with it, thrusting his fingers up against your sweet spot with pinpoint precision as quick as he can until you're shaking and squirting. It doesn't matter if you've never done it before, actually it's better if you haven't. "Ken a few tricks," Johnny had told you when you'd been discussing kinks, and boy did he. He pulls his fingers from you and rubs them over the liquid come absolutely coating your cunt and the backs of your thighs. He toys with your clit and spreads your folds wide to spit on your clenching cunt(as if you need to be any wetter) to push his fingers inside again and repeat the process until you're begging for him to stop.
"Poor thing," Johnny will coo at you, "we're done when I say we are."
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leonfucker3000 · 21 hours
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under the mistletoe
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married!Leon S Kennedy x engaged!fem!reader
Warnings: 16+, cheating, sex with feelings, vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving),bathroom sex, mirror sex, modern au but not really because I know their dumbasses don’t have enough friends for a Christmas party, reader has morals until she doesn’t
wc: 2.5k
Yap: I wrote this last year for smutmas LMFAO, posting it here so I’m not forgotten, IM WORKING ON STUFF I SWEAR !! The ending is rushed and bad, and Leon says some corny fucking shit
not proofread, sorry chat
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Arm-in-arm with Chris, you make your way up the snowy steps of the brown-bricked house. From the front patio, you could hear the faint sounds of Christmas music and bottles popping.
“I thought you said this was gonna be small.” a faint murmur comes from your lips, disappointment clear in your face from the lie your fiancé told you to get you here. You told him before you weren’t interested in anything noisy or busy or crowded , even told him to visit his friends alone and that you’d be fine waiting for him to get back.
“That’s what they told me too, we can head back—”
“It’s fine. Not gonna keep you from your friends.” Just don’t expect me to be social, you want to add on, but don’t due to the small smile on his face. He’s sweet. Ignorant, but sweet. In his own way, you suppose. 
You’re hit with overpowering peppermint and alcohol scent when you walk through the door, christmas spirit aside, the inside looks nice. Warm, inviting, homey, where you should be with Chris but he’s – he presses a kiss to your forehead, muttering a small I’ll be back as he goes to find his buddies – gone. 
A price to pay for future happiness.
⋆⋅•⋅⊰∙∘⋆ ❆ ⋆∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋆
You try to distract yourself, pleasantries to mutual friends and others you definitely (do not) remember. If you had more sleep the night before, maybe you’d be up for drinks and dancing and actual conversation rather than this. Whatever this is. “Don’t look too happy to be here either.” A gruff voice from behind you snaps you out of your trance. 
“Weren’t you the one that invited us, Leon?” You click your tongue as you turn around to face him, he looks tired but prettily so. Fucker.  
He huffs out a laugh and shakes his head, “Not one for these, thought you knew me better. Just thought that I’d enjoy it more with people…” he looks you up and down for a fleeting moment, “...like me.”
“Like you in what sense? Alcoholic or asshole?” 
“Both, either, neither. Just wanted to see some friends, that’s all.”
You hum and motion with your head, “Chris is over there. Not here.”
“I know.”
The both of you are silent, no matter what you say, you’re sure Leon has a counter. A quip, a joke, something that’s definitely going to get the both of you in trouble. “Guess we’re going with Alcoholic You, then. Drinks?”
“And you say we’re not friends. Let’s go.” He says with a hand sliding to the small of your back, resting right above your ass – too close, too risky for a married man and an engaged woman, too stupid. You bite your tongue and let him lead you to the host’s makeshift bar, saying anything is a reaction and a reaction is what he wants, at least you assume so.
“We’re not. You know this, I know this, maybe even God if we dig deep enough.”
“Okay, well, it’s not that deep so let’s just have a nice night as friends, yeah?”
A sigh leaves you for the nth time that night, “Sure.”
Moving through the seemingly never-ending crowd of drunk couples, you’re soon to realize your mistake of keeping quiet when he stops and looks up, then back at you. Eyebrows furrowed and mood shifted, you follow his eyes up and – “Absolutely not.” a fucking mistletoe. You saw other people under the mistletoe who were most definitely in committed relationships kiss others but that’s not you . You thought it wasn’t him either from the way he looked at Ada. Another terrible assumption.
Leon scoffs and rolls his eyes, “It’s tradition. ‘S just a kiss, doesn’t need to mean anything.”
“It wouldn’t mean anything if we were both single, but we’re very much fucking not, so–”
“No one’s looking, just us. Chris won’t mind, Ada…won’t either.” A weak excuse, both the mistletoe and his pathetic they don’t need to know . “Friends kiss.”
“Right, you mean unmarried ones. On the cheek. Platonically.”
“Will you just–” He groans as he cups your face in his hands and pulls you to meet his lips, sloppily and messily kissing you and licking the seam of your lips. You stumble and he pushes you against the kitchen archway, guests too unbothered to realize what’s going on in front of them. For a moment, you kiss back, hands tugging on his hair – girlfriend, fiancée, wife – you pull away with a sharp gasp, heavy worry and guilt.  
Now you really need that fucking drink.
You blink up at him, “Wish I could’ve done more.” He speaks, fighting himself for being weak but also not regretting a thing because it’s you and he definitely wants you. “Looking real pretty tonight and Chris is an idiot for leaving his soon-to-be-wife alone. So really, this is his fault.”
“You’re fucking crazy.” 
“For you.”
You hate him for going against your wishes, hate him for making a joke about it, hate the fact that despite everything, you liked it . Whore, Slut, Hoe, all of the above and definitely not the loyal fiancée you promised you’d be. “This can’t–can’t happen again.”
“Right.” He whispers, soft and hushed, had you not known any better, you might’ve thought he was sorry.
You turn to leave and avoid him for the rest of the night, suddenly feeling confident enough to be social after all to get your mind off what the fuck just happened. But nothing works. Not drinks or jokes or even Chris himself. Ironically, he points out the mistletoe and drags you under it to kiss you. 
It’s firm, possessive and used to make you feel giddy but all you feel right now is unadulterated shame. All that’s swirling through your mind isn’t the loops of red and green christmas streamers and tinsel – it’s Leon. You two didn’t even talk much, don’t know how you caught his eye or why he’d want you when he has a pretty wife of 2 years with him.
You pull away and Chris gives you another quick peck, “Know you don’t like stuff like this, I appreciate it, really.” he whispers, and you feel like a bitch again. He’s so – he’s too good for you. “When we get back, ‘ll make sure to make it up to you.” 
You smile, all weary and shy, too bad while he’s fucking you, you’ll be imagining someone else. “Can’t wait.” Before you can even be pulled away by Chris again, a hand slides up your back and another on Chris’ shoulder. 
Fuck fuck fuck. Someone saw you and is going to tell Chris. Say goodbye to stability and long-lasted love and–  
“Get a room, will you?” Leon says as he pats Chris’ shoulder, a little more forceful than needed, but if Chris noticed, he didn’t let it show. “Had Ada rolling her eyes at the two of you more than usual. A new record.”
You force a tight smile while Chris is at ease, “Of course you two have the most shit to say.” he chuckles.
“Mhm, yeah, so, mind if I borrow you for a minute?” Leon’s hand falls from Chris’ shoulder as he looks at you.
“Um.” Chris was a patient man, really was, but if you’re uncomfortable, he’s uncomfortable, and right now–
“Sure, just make it quick.” You mutter, glancing at Chris with a nervous smile, “I’ll be back.” 
⋆⋅•⋅⊰∙∘⋆ ❆ ⋆∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋆
How you ended up in a half-bathroom with Leon, perched up onto the sink counter with your legs wrapped around his waist will always be beyond you. He kissed you like he did before, almost holding no rhythm as he did it like it’d be the last time. “Fucking–” he groaned, “beautiful.” He pulled away briefly to press wet, open-mouthed kisses down your neck and shoulder. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
“Shouldn’t be admitting that, it's– oh –not okay.” It’s definitely not okay that you’re here with him, and it’s definitely not okay that him biting you is enough to make you shudder. How the fuck are you going to explain this to Chris? Leon bit me to test out my skin durability? 
“I know, just can’t help it when it’s you. Sweet girl, always on my mind.” He tried, really did. Tried being happy when Chris introduced you, tried ignoring how sweet you looked, tried ignoring you and the image of eating you out that kept him warm on many lonely nights. Couldn’t even do it with Ada without your face popping up in his head when he came. “Would ask if you thought of me, too, but I guess we both know the answer to that.” 
He knew, knew that as much as he wanted you, up until now it was Chris. The hopeful part of him convinces himself you just buried it deep down like him and that’s why he can finally be between your pretty legs, pressed up against your pretty body and soon enough, pretty pussy. You make him feel dizzy.
“Leon–” 
“Yeah, just keep sayin’ my name and that’ll make it better.” He kisses you for good measure, thinks that if you say anything other than his name or oh god, he’ll lose it. You tug on his hair again and he groans, “Let me eat you out, needa give that pretty pussy just as much kisses.”
He doesn’t give you time to retaliate or even think about what he said before pushing your dress up and dropping to his knees, kissing up your thighs and removing your panties. He makes sure to put your legs over his shoulders, tongue delving right onto your pussy. Your fingers latch onto his hair and he gives you a muffled groan.
Your plush thighs push against his face and, fuck, it’s better than anything he’s ever had, he won’t need alcohol after this because you’re just as addicting, if not more, as he drinks in your pussy like he’s parched. “ Fuckk ,” he groans into you, all muffled and slurred “ tastes so fucking good.” 
Your legs are shaking and thank-fucking-god you’re sitting on the sink counter, music blasts from outside as you pant and moan while his tongue flicks with fucking talent. His mouth makes you feel dizzy, even more so when he plunges two fingers inside your cunt, his eyebrows furrow when you pull particularly hard – heaven is what he thinks.
He concentrates his lips and tongue on your clit as you rock against his face, “ Leon,” you gasp, nearly crying out above him and yes, his imagination didn’t do you any justice because his name falling from your lips is a wet dream. 
He taps your thigh, voice all hoarse and strained, “Gotta keep quiet, can’t have them seeing you like this – this is for me .” He’s so hard it hurts but he’ll endure anything just so you’ll come on his fingers and tongue.
You whine, biting your lip to keep in your sounds and he feels your body trembling , the pressure of his tongue was insistent and your body twitched when his fingers aligned with the rhythm of his tongue, “oh fuck, oh fuckfuckfuck,’ you cover your mouth as you let out a muffled cry, legs wrapping around his head so tight he can barely breathe but holy shit does he not care.
You come, blissed out and shaking – he thinks you’re pretty. He’s an idiot for this, he really doesn’t care. 
He presses a small kiss to your thigh, getting up off his knees as his thumb rubs small circles on your skin, “You okay?” he whispers, mouth sore and dick straining against his pants makes his voice low. 
“Mmhmm,” you reply dumbly and slurred, “never better.”
He feels pride swell up in his chest when you say that, he made you feel good – better than Chris keeps replaying in his mind. “Not done with you yet, can you stand?”
“Maybe in 5 minutes.” He doesn’t have 5 minutes, you don't have 5 minutes – he needs it now. He helps you off the counter and pushes you forward, bending you over the sink. You faintly hear the sound of fabric and metal before feeling him slide between your folds and nudge against your entrance. “Leon–”
“Need it, honey. Gonna give it to me, yeah?”
Fuck it, you’ve made it this far. “Yeah.” you say breathlessly. 
You can’t mutter out another word when he doesn’t wait a second more to slide into you, his nails dimpling spots on your hips when he grips tighter. You cry out when he pulls out and shoves himself to the hilt, his left hand covering your mouth, “ Quiet.” he hisses, groaning when he snaps his hips again, not stopping until his rhythm is relentless. 
Whines and moans are faded against his hand, he’s panting and groaning against your ear, “Feels –fuckk – so much fucking better than I imagined.” he pulls his hand and your head back a little so you’re looking in the mirror. Fuck explaining a bite mark to Chris – you’re a mess. Sweat dripping from your forehead and eyes glossy as you look blissed out and absolutely fucked . “See that?” he shudders, “That’s us, you don’t take your fucking eyes off it.” 
You nod quickly against his hand as the room fills with the sound of skin against skin and choked back moans and panting. Your eyelids feel heavy as you look in the mirror, Leon’s face is flushed and his hair is wet with sweat as he fucks you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. 
He watches your face as you take all of him, all pretty and teary-eyed, you’ve ruined him for everyone else. “I'm gonna come again,” your voice is faint against his hand, barely able to even get out any words because he has you teetering on the edge as his balls slap against your clit. You feel yourself tightening around his cock and his hips stutter.
“Shit–that right?” You nod eagerly as you keep your eyes on him, “atta girl, ‘m gonna get at least 3 out of you.”
“I c’nt–” 
“Yes you can,” he slurs, “for me, you fucking can.”
Your walls clamp down on him hard, spasming from your second orgasm, and he moans. He bites his lip as he pulls out, warm come spurting on your ass as he holds onto the counter in front of you for balance, chest pressed against your back. ‘ Fuck. ” he moans.
Your eyelids flutter when he licks his lips and presses a small kiss onto your shoulder. “Jesus Christ, leon. I dunno if I can…do another.” you pant.
“Don’t have a choice, honey, just need you ontop of me.”
You open your mouth to speak but a sharp knock hits against the bathroom door, “Can you hurry the fuck up? I gotta piss n – oh okay.” footsteps retreat and you look at Leon, huffing out a small laugh.
“Gonna have to wait.”
“A real shame.’
You straighten yourself on shaky legs and look in the mirror, “oh my fucking–”
“I’ll get you an Uber and tell Chris you started feeling sick.” he offers. Right. Chris. Fiancé, love of your life Chris. Shit. “It was worth it.” he breaks your train of thought, “Good thing we didn’t break tradition.”
You swallow. “Right.”
He kisses you, slower this time.
Happy-fucking-holidays to you.
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argreion · 14 hours
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"Soft/smutty requests" you say, I can only think about comfort sex.
Putting it in short, reader is having a really bad day, or week, or month, too many thoughts about the future. Leon also is at his limit, back from a mission that lasted two weeks, mf got an injure he can barely stand.
Both exhausted with the head full of shit, not even a word is spoken during dinner, not even to ask why this man walks like he has a stick up to his ass. But when it's time to sleep and the lights off, that's when the heart opens. Cuddle and chatting session to catch up, turning into a slow fuck, full of kisses and the love both starved the time he was gone, of course, careful not to make his wound worse.
May not be a proper request, I've never done one, but feel free to expand the concept!
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Sun-kissed
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“Words are where most change begins.” — Brandon Sanderson
𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 — P in V/Riding, soft loving sex turned into Leon wanting pussy 'cause I said so. Lots of praise and sappy talk. A tiny bit of degradation. BIG hint towards cunnilingus. Talk of Leon's pain (suicide talk, drinking, possibly overdose talk cause I forgot if I kept it in. Alongside tiny blood and gore talk if it counts.) Stupid cringey argument over a table, because tables have FEELINGS.
𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 7.4k
𝑵𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆❜𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆𝒔 — So, uh, hi! UHM, I yapped a lot. I actually really enjoyed this! Uhm, I don't think really counts as comfort sex anymore considering this was an ask from two weeks ago BUTTTTT, I did go a lot into comfort and talking and emotions! Think it balances out! Kind of scared to post this but I know I got my moots love on this! Keeps me going! This MIGHT be shittily written cause lazily edited it so if there are mistakes you didn't see anything.
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Please, make Leon wear his back brace and take his medication after he's home (P.S. don’t let Leon know we’ll be going to bingo.) — Ingrid.
Your eyes ran over the pastel yellow note from the bottom of Leon’s pill bottle. Standing in the bathroom with a hand on your hip. Brows furrowed at this peculiar find. That was odd, wondering how the government could sneak notes under pill bottles. First, it was learning who Hunnigan was and then realizing what kind of sneaky woman she could be when needed. Felt good to have her as a friend sometimes, even when it was her being on Leon's case.
That was before Leon arrived back at your front door. His arm pressed against the door frame with the most painful grin ever. Leon's teeth clenched and his breath stunk—doubt he even had mouthwash or toothpaste on hand on a mission. Not to mention the dirtied clothes, reeking of gore, and gunpowder. Your nose wrinkled at the smell and your sinuses hated it.
“You stink.” You stated the observation out loud. Hoping he’d explain, but he didn’t.
“Don’t ask about work.”
Leon brushed past you, stumbling against the wall. The grime on his shirt now taints soft colors on the painted wall. Of course, you helped him—that’s human decency—gently pushing the man to sit on the sofa, squeaking as his weight hit the cushions. Watching the dip on the sofa from his weight.
“Well, Leon," You started, reaching out to help him with his shirt. This had become the norm—the one routine you did every time he came back. Strip, bandage, bath, sleep, followed with food after he woke up. “You don't expect me to be curious when you come home stinking of ass? And you're—"
Your words caught in your throat as Leon helped you remove his shirt. Letting the stained fabric fall onto the floor, revealing many things you didn't wish to see—heaven forbid it came from Leon. Cuts, bruising, and a gunshot wound. Anger filled your body as you stared at the artwork. Is this even art? If so, it's beautifully grotesque.
“Don't ask about work, huh?" You repeated, tilting your head with a raised eyebrow. Won't even talk about work, but he'll make hints about Raccoon City like it's nothing. Nobody even knew what happened to Raccoon City still, but many could guess.
“Don't look like that, you'll get more wrinkles." The man smirked, using his fingers to flick your nose. Laughing at you flinching back and smacking at his arm.
“Dipshit, do you think this is the time for jokes!?” Concern boiled over into rage at his nonchalant attitude. Flicking of a nose, a joke, smirking, did he not value himself? Could a man not value himself but rather his looks? The jokes he makes that rarely hit and often made you cringe at the cheesiness.
Sometimes he didn't, did he? A year ago you remember when Chris pulled you along into a bar in Colorado. Colorado. You remember what Chris said without delving too deep into what was your mind,
“I wouldn't want you here unless it was needed. Please, talk to him." 
Sitting there with tired eyes he was. A bottle of ‘Aerial Shot’ in his hand. Worn biker gloves with the stench of sweat and unwashed leather. You'd never seen him look so dead before. 
The worst part was meeting his gaze. Awkwardly taking those seemingly quiet steps to sit beside him. What do you say to a man that's dying? Leon should've already been dead at this point. Gunshot wound, infected, surviving things. No wonder he never wanted to watch The Walking Dead. Why'd it take you a year to understand that? Guns and brains set him off, as did drinking too much.
“You're probably wondering why I'm here, huh?" You chuckled, staring down at the table. Blessing Chris and Rebecca for the heart-to-heart—one chance to get through to a stubborn man.
No response came from him. Body language said a lot for him instead. Tense, grip tightening on his shot glass. Impregnated silence… Was he that bad at saying a yes or no?
“This is the part where you say yeah, Leon."
He sighed, leaving you alone at the table. Picking the bottle up alongside himself like it's his baby. Did a bottle ever go ‘guu’?
Your hands laced together as you heard the gentle thumps of his boots slowly fading into the background. Chris wasn't happy, you could hear the steam coming from his ears. Wanting to cause a scene because someone was too much of a depressed loner to talk.
No, he just needs something firmer. Strong. Get the damn fucking bastard out and off of his own arse.
You moved out of the chair to follow after Leon. He always disappeared into the bathroom. Hope was something powerful, something you always had for Leon. Hoping he changed slightly, hoping that he could be changed. 
Slamming open the bathroom door to reveal that Leon was splashing his face with the sink while washing the ghost that haunted him. Their screams, tearful eyes, the sounds of people eating each other alive. Then there was you coming to lecture him on the right path—something he knew he didn't need. 
Your hand grabbed at his shoulder, halting his frantic washing. Overlooking him like his disappointed mother. Brows furrowed like her, too. Made him crumble into shambles as you reminded him so much. Remind him of an angel from the heaven he heard of. Why must you haunt him so?
“Stop avoiding this, Leon."
"You shouldn't be here at all. Chris is an idiot for even bringing you here." He snapped, shrugging your hand off of his shoulder.
He buried his head in his hands, groaning. Alcohol wasn't saving him from this vacation nor the stare of the woman he loved. Where was God when you needed him? Your angel was mean, father, mean for making him realize things. 
“Look," you started, moving his hand away from his face. “I'm here on personal matters too, not just because Chris wanted me here." 
Your arms encircled him and your chest pressed against his back. Looked like you were a koala on its mama. All snug and warm, despite the smell of a sweaty old man.
“They need you, Leon—I need you." The whisper fell from your mouth and into his ear. How'd animators draw flowing notes of music? Each word hit his heart, especially the last three.
At Leon's core, he was still like he was when he was twenty-one. Human.
Your hands moved over his, holding them. Protecting him from the mental battle in his head. You knew how much it meant to him to have you here. Regardless if it was after a fight, or when he was drinking.
“I know it's probably hard, ok? Killing things, coming home aching, and getting no break. I can't help you because I'm not exactly qualified for what you do, am I?"
The small sounds of you shuffling caught his attention. A small movement and you came into his peripheral vision. Standing there with a kind smile. Please, go away.
"I also know you probably don't want me here either. It hurts to know you can't avoid certain things. You probably couldn't avoid Chris. Just be glad it's me and not him… He's, well, something else with emotions.” You laughed, looking away from him in the mirror. Staring at yourself in the mirror then at him.
Staring at him made you realize a lot. Pain and resentment emanating from him. With each rise and fall of his chest, you could see it more. Even when he met your gaze at the mirror. You wish he got help.
Sometimes the value of man could be seen through gazes, words, and even their hands. Body language said a lot, and so did their responses. You thanked yourself and Chris for helping him become checks today. Well, mostly Chris. Sometimes, you couldn't help but think he needed something normal in his life.
Someone normal.
Something normal to him became jokes like these. Bleeding on a couch and there he was, flicking noses. Kennedy's charm never failed as you were defeated by his nonchalant attitude at home.
“Wrinkles, huh?" You sighed, kissing his forehead gently. Letting your nose rest in his hairline as you thought of what to do.
Ice…? A doctor's visit, too. Guess we're his little booker and Leon's the celebrity. The stunt celebrity who every day seemingly breaks his ass. What a silly comparison you thought of.
“Let's just make sure you're not dying, Leon. And then maybe we can have pasta. Your mother's recipe.”
“Mom's recipe was always good…” He tilted his head up slightly, using his fingers to gently push your head away. Made you flinch as he stood up, excusing himself towards the bathroom. Hearing him yell out towards you,
“And please, stop trying to eat my hair! It's not for sale, and I doubt it ever will be! Not until I'm old and wrinkly, then you can eat it. Scottie's Special Spaghetti!" 
Hair spaghetti wasn't the only thing that began to happen. Pills weren't his savior, as were the copious amounts of bandages used. Took an hour for one cut to stop bleeding, and then another started. Drove you to insanity as you stared at another box.
Shuffles across the wooden floor caught your attention. Forgetting the box to opt to peek out the door. Did Leon really not take a doctor's call to rest? Doctor's word was best, and he was too dense to not listen.
There he was, shuffling towards the bathroom where you were. Resting your hand on the door frame, you watched the suffering begin. Annoyed mutters as he finally makes it to the door, giving a smile. Hand on the wall to balance himself.
“You have a stick up your ass walking like that." 
Leon huffed, forehead wrinkling at your blunt statement. Spare him a little mercy, he can't sit down. couldn't sit down ever since Spain. He had to help one way or another, didn't sit with him right—Wouldn’t sit with him. “What do you want me to do? I thought we were supposed to help each other." He argued, his grip on the wall faltering. It'd be like Humpty Dumpty. The eggshell wouldn't crack, his back would. Well, probably a lot more than his back, technically.
"Well, Leon, I know you aren't going to sit your bum down and rest. I'm very tempted to force meds down your throat so you take care of yourself.” Your eyebrows were furrowed, pointing towards the living room. Did you need to be here? Explaining to the poor bastard to just relax? If Chris could come home more often than Leon, he was doing something wrong.
What did you say?
It caught Leon's attention, his hand twitching as he leaned up against the wall. There goes his pinky and there goes his thumb. Leaning down despite the rising pain inside my back. Exploding like pop rocks. A warzone at his lower back.
“Force meds down my throat?" The word rolled off his tongue. Followed by frustration, and that you even had the gall to say that. A bad taste settled in as words died in his throat. Being held back by his rationality. No one wanted the pretty guy to be an ass. He doesn't want to be, but what people say the least… exotic. No, exotic was a nice term to him. Peculiar, very-fuckin'-peculiar.
“Fine… I'll rest. If I hear a damsel or damoiseau in distress, busting my sticked-up ass for them.”
His white flag was accepted as he gave a kiss to your forehead. Dry crusty lips that needed that lip balm he loved. First, it was collecting guns. Then a record from the 1950s exploded into what was the wall of wonder. Wondering what deranged person decided to put records on the wall. Wish he didn't try to keep up with the times. Seeing Pinterest girls with records on their walls. Restaurants in New Orleans—a city of jazz and comfort food—follow the same deal. Now it's lip balm, lips soft and sweet. Something he adored by giving kisses. Sweet strawberry, benevolent blueberry, wonderful watermelon. Seriously, he needed to stop naming lip balms… His lips were already sweet enough without them.
With the parting of lips to a forehead, he bid adieu. Pushing himself back into the living room with the TV a bit too loud for your liking. He's already losing some his hearing, poor guy. Made you smile at him being logical, returning to check on things in the bathroom. 
Why were you buying yourself time till dinner? It was a good time to ponder what'd you make. What was near itGive? Was he near his date? What, why'd that come into your head?
To be frank, it was only a day since Leon came home. One day since he got to rest. How long could he keep this up? Were you a good lover for doubting him? Doubting someone you trust felt wrong. It was wrong, wasn't it? Watching a man come home more broken than before. The cracking of the perfect man in some ways. Leon always screamed the guy with the suburban house and wonderful wife.
Cracks weren't good for what he was. Every day, he seemed to grow another falling apart. Leon couldn't have known. He didn't genuinely know anything aside from killing. Didn't know what normal life in some ways felt like. Was his nine-to-five killing? It was like the records he collected. They're dated, like him. Spinning again with a needle to them. Instead, there was a bullet threatening to put a hole through his head.
“Why do I wonder about this theory…” Leon muttered into the air. Fading into the sounds of the TV. Letting out a heavy sigh as he let himself stare into the TV. Drowning out his thoughts.
He just couldn't, though.
Why would you shove drugs into his throat? Was he such an old man to you? 'Here you go, gramps, your medicine.’ Taken daily and gulped down with water.
The very thought of that sent him spiraling. Why was he always babied? He's not an idiot just because he has a perfect face. What was the count of proving people with his skill? Four? Three? Fuck, he lost count. His own lover? Made him pissed off at himself if he couldn't at least prove to you he's perfectly capable of taking care of himself. In his mentation, he slammed his fist on the table. Thoughts like these made him resent his parents for good genetics; he didn't want good genetics, he wanted to be treated decently.
The sound echoed through the apartment, causing you to jump. Almost dropping whatever was in your hand. Shoving it onto the sink as you feared the worst.
What if he fell?
“...Leon?" Your voice was soft, as if scared. Looked around the corner to just see a closed fist on the wood. Observing it raise to reveal a crack in the wood.
"LEON!?”
His neck snapped at the sound of your voice. Watching the frenzied grabbing of a coffee table. Looking at it like it was a baby. People and their grandparents' furniture… Ironic, giving his alcoholism still. The baby he couldn't give up.
“W-why did you do that!?" 
A sharp slap against Leon's cheek from you sent him overboard. On instinct twisting your arm. Pain sprouting through it, Indian burns hurt. Hated when kids at school did it too. All for laughs when someone's in pain.
You yanked your arm out of his grasp. Rubbing the irritated skin as you spat incensed words.
“You know how important that table is to me! How am I supposed to show my parents it's cracked? Are you dumb!? Did being shot in the back make you stupid? Or did it miss to hit your brain!?”
Words gushed out without thought. Leon is staring at you like a hurt puppy. You wanted his head blown off? Why would you say that over a table?
“You wanted me to die?" He asked calmly, gripping the couch arm as he sat up. Swinging his legs over the side. “Or did it miss to hit your brain?" 
“N-no!? I know I said it but, of course not! I-I just… I don't know!?”
Hands were thrown as you went into a frenzy. Tears wanted to fall out of your eyes as you freaked out over a table. He didn't know the importance of a table because he didn't have his parents.
Those words you said… What the fuck?
“Look, I may not be the most amazing person ever, but wanting me to be shot in the head is where the line is, ok? Why don't you cool off? There's the gas station, and the—”
"Why don't you fucking cool off the gun!? When are you going to stop your little job!?”
You were switching tactics. Want to draw him out so you feel better. Learning that during training wasn't fun, only in his early twenties. “You know what? If you want to play this game, I'll play it too.” He sighed, rubbing his face. How many times has he now? Did it at work with training rookies, with Hunnigan, friends when he rarely went out, and you, too.
“You're wishing I was dead over a table, what's the logic? Look, I know it's important but dead? Dead? I thought you were better than wanting someone dead! Besides, it's only a crack, not a smashed leg." His thumb rubbed over the crack from earlier. A gentle apology to an inanimate object.
Logic against emotions never mixed well. Always end up with one storming out—that one is you. First, it was Leon who waved his white flag a year ago, now it was your turn. Hands raised as you responded to his reason,
“Fine, fine, I'll admit maybe it sometimes. That still doesn't help the fact you cracked the table. The fact we went and got it from my parent's place?” Your hands moved on their own, motioning between the two of you to change your point. You two, a duo, couple, buddies, lovers, WE.
“Who slams their hand on a table in the first place? How is your hand even that strong to do that? Are you doing drugs?”
Drugs? Drugs? Accusatory. Did your eyes fail you? He knew you barely left the house nowadays. He recently found a study on his phone that said eyeballs needed sunlight to grow, and you lacked it. Lacked the past sunshine he knew, bright and sweet. Why'd all relationships end like this? Turning red from anger, exploding like dwarf stars as a relationship's lifetime. Exploding…
You excused yourself, going into the kitchen to prepare dinner anyway. Waving your hands as you excused. Fussy little thing you were. Leon watched you, face full of concern over your emotions and what was said earlier. He knew you didn't mean it, but if you said it, meant you thought it. If you thought it, it meant you doubted. If you doubted then he… He didn't know.
Something felt off during dinner, it could've been Leon going suddenly quiet or the thoughts in your head. The scrapes of metal against porcelain filling thick silence. Thick like mustard gas that choked Leon of his voice and made his tears fall.
“I'll take care of cleaning up, you go get ready for bed. You'll probably shower anyway." You muttered, taking your leave from the table. Collecting plates as you went, lingering on Leon as he paused. Frozen like those Greek statues—perfect even in mental agony.
Still, he didn't want to speak, words not wanting to come out. He didn't need his voice to convey his pain from earlier, the regret he had. Your answer was received through his subconscious responses and body language.
Stealing his plate away from him to bring it back to its home. You started on the obvious: cleaning up after eating. Using the same sponge you had for months alongside dish soap. Didn't understand the ads about how certain dish soaps were unique—it’s just soap.
Soap that cleaned, soap that was washed away. Just like your thoughts circling down that very drain. The fight from hours ago was still reasonably in your mind. Fuzzy as you dried your, hands off. Moving to retreat to your safe space of sorts.
Bedrooms did wonders in many ways. Offered comfort, love, passion, and the chance of reconciliation. You chose right with the sheets, cottony fabric. Was it basic? Perhaps. But it felt right for an ‘American’ home.
Tearing casual wear off for something more flowy. Nobody wanted to be hot when they slept—except the maniac Leon was. Your clothes drop to the floor, leaving you bare to the choices in their closet. Rummaging through it as the man of the day finally made it to the bedroom. Slipping on something comfortable for the night.
Now it was his turn to change his clothes, well, more like stripping from them. 
Courteousness could've helped to mend what seemed like the bridge between the two.
“Do you need help?" A question you asked, reaching out towards the male to tug at his shirt. The silent hand between each other's minds. The sorry neither of you wanted to say but had to learn.
Leon thought for a moment, chuckling as he looked up at you, “Sure, if you wouldn't mind?” His smile was soft yet confused, wondering if this was your way of apologizing. Did you think it was an apology? He could've guessed to accept it.
With a drop of a head, you couldn't help but let a smile show through. Huffing at his confused answer. Letting your fingers already help with the stubborn fabric. Pulling it over his head to reveal a canvas full of dark purples and reds. Pretty together and alone, but this canvas was… Unique. Showing the pain one has endured will bring pride. With the main fellow of the show being the fresh gunshot wound on his side.
“Are you staring at my muscles or the bruises?" Leon asked, quirking an eyebrow. Moving to sit on his side of the bed. Working on his pants to reveal Calvin Klein boxers—dark like his soul. (That's what he always said, you ball of depressing sunshine.)
“The bruises that cover the muscles?" You queryed, moving to sit beside him. Hands clutching the edges of the bed as you glanced over at him. Observing his actions as he went on with his night.
“How long are they keeping you from work?" It was a good question to ask. He never said, Leon never wanted to speak about work in his home. It felt forbidden to him like he wasn't keeping you safe from a part of him.
“A week," he simply responded, finally shrugging his pants off. Moved his elbows on his knees as he met your gaze. “Wish it was less sometimes." 
“Why less? Wouldn't you want more? It's a break, Leon. Do you not like coming home?"
If he had to mentally delve into his memories, he would've fallen off that building long ago. Floors high with a bioweapon charging for him. He couldn't leave Chris with Rebecca, couldn't leave you alone with guilt and regret. Pretty tears like yours made him feel regret.
Breaks in a sense were bad. He knew the fact he wouldn't escape the government or their work. The work pulled him away from his tear-stained pillow and favorite pair of sweats. Gave him holes in the body and sweet blots of color on his skin. Fuck him and his brain, wanting to save everyone.
“Complicated, real complicated.”
Well, complicated isn't exactly the most honest answer. It just was used as a general term with him. A cover-up.
"If it's about earlier… I was stupid, ok? Who wouldn't be? It's just a table, I know. Just that table means a lot to my family, despite how ridiculous that sounds.” Gesticulating as you talked, Leon couldn't help but notice the clear unease to admit you were wrong—oddly finding it adorable. Resting his chin in his palm as you spoke your truth.
“There's a lot I want to say to you, Leon. Mostly just… Why all this? This job, it's killing you, literally. Your back is worse than a grandma's, you're becoming a dopehead at this point, too. I get antidepressants, but then all these pain medications and others amongst them. I'm not trying to be the person who says drugs don't help problems, but too many hurts you. I'm happy that you're seemingly happy with them, I am.”
Words were bubbling up as you poured emotions out. A waterfall that never ceased and honestly could've made you gag. Those clowns that pull fabrics from their mouths, how? Each fabric you pulled made you want to cry from the emotions. The guilt, pain, resentment, love, all in each pull.
Each fabric you pulled from your mouth to Leon felt like a prodding. Slowly turning into a stab that leaked oil. Catching aflame with certain words and making him recall painful memories. He wasn't a dopehead, he didn't want to be. No one wanted to stare at the six bottles of pills he tried to take daily.
"I want you to take care of yourself, to just take a fucking break.”
Breaks… How many vacation days did he have? Time paid off? Er, he'd have to check. Tapping his finger on his cheek as he tried to recall.
“Could try, but it'll cost you a little somethin'." 
Leon leaned close, kissing your temple before resting his head on yours. Chuckling to himself as his hands reacted on their own. Interlacing with yours as he smiled to himself.
“Debt paid, guess I will take a break." This statement made you breathe a mental sigh of relief, even after countless talks of his well-being. “I do actually hear you, though.”
His voice took a serious turn, as thoughtful-sounding as he could be. Reflection on what he could improve on, which was being vocal.
“Soon, I promise. I think I may be getting towards the end of work. Losing the Kennedy spark and all I have is a title.” Leon recalled Helena, or Patrick. The title of being the savior of Ashley Graham. The other being one of the first and best of the D.S.O. "Got a tummy to show for protecting a shitty country as well.” He laughed at his own self-deprecation—the walking circus he was. “Had that talk with Chris during last year, actually. When you were at the bar with him, after you left?”
He glanced over at you with fond eyes, “I talked with him during that. Helped me a lot, you did too." The man paused, stiffly rubbing his neck. "Chris also… Said hi." 
Classic Chris, felt like a family friend now. Alongside Leon's unique bunch of friends that he called colleagues, but you knew better. Every aging man needed their little circle of buddies. Made you giggle at Leon's annoyed expression. 
“Chris and his hellos… Loves popping his head in when you're home. Do you two even still talk?”
"Rarely,” Leon replied. "He likes to go out for drinks sometimes, quite nice. Sometimes he's one the only guy who gets me.” He gave a forced smile. Earning a gentle punch in the arm. One he brushed off with a push.
“At least you have fun with him, he's a clown once you get past the sternness."
This felt odd. Welcoming. Just a simple conversation with your lover. Backs falling against the bed and limbs tangling themselves as you spoke about life. Two little squids comforted in the presence of their mate. Losing yourselves in a everyday conversation. Pretending that earlier had never happened.
As the two became comfortable, so did your words. Reaching out to stroke his cheek. Over the faint line on it from years ago he said. Doubt he'd ever tell you it was from a old mentor. Thumb slowly moving down to his lips, a kiss being put on the pad.
“I'm still sorry for earlier, ok?" You whispered. Guilt had set in earlier at your emotional outburst. Telling him to die but you meant it in a caring way. Putting a hurt animal to rest with a bullet. If it was him, you'd give him that mercy. Let him finally rest as blood oozed from his corpse.
“You’re getting too old for this job. It's too physically straining on you. Drugs won't save you everytime and the hospital isn't either. How many names and faces do you know from there, huh?”
"Probably around fifteen, maybe twenty. Same doctor but different nurses.”
"See?” Your argument was valid in your mind. If he could remember faces, he'd visited it too much. It hurt you as much as it hurt him to dislocate a shoulder or get a bullet in the back.
"I love you Leon Kennedy, I really do.” A whisper you meant, feeling solemn. Leaning over to capture his lips against yours. Fondness and desire in one simple action. Feeling his hand curling up on the back of your scalp. Leon's eyes fluttering shut as he allowed it.
Your lips left his, breathless as you stared down at him. Watching him smile and the slight crinkle on the corner of his eyes.
“Love you more.”
"More, huh?” You jested, pressing your noses together with a giggle. Gently kissing him again as your hips straddled him. Keeping him pinned at the waist down. Hands moving to the hem of his shirt to pull it off.
“Can I…?”
“Can you…” Leon trailed off, looking at you expectantly. Before letting himself take off his shirt. Revealing little wisps of chest hair and a gunshot wound on his shoulder that's faded from time. Now just a light patch of skin with a ring in the center. It's younger cousin on his side, bright red and certainly angry.
With such gentle touches, Leon smiled—such care and caution. Made him aroused at the love. Made the back of his mind also angry he was getting aroused at something so simple. Trying to make him say something or pry you off with the excuse of pain, but no.
Your eyes wandered the pretty little canvas of bruises and scars his chest was. Even with the new gunshot wound. At least it was beginning to heal. You'd be gagging if you saw it before he left the hospital. Bleeding and the inside of human muscle and flesh.
“I don't know what to say right now," you mumbled, giggling at his stare at the awkward silence pervading the room.
The awkward silence felt right, comforting as you stare at each other. Payback for whenever Leon watched you.
“A little friend does." He whispered, watching your face burn at what he meant from friend. His hands grasped your hips, pulling your pelvis in to rub against his bulge. Situating it perfectly to where he could grind against your pussy. Seeing him so entranced watching his bulge rub against your underwear. Breath caught in his throat as he loved it. 
“Gentle, Leon,” you remind, shifting your leg to not brush against his wound. A little uncomfortable with the way your muscles felt but if it made him not hiss in pain, worth it. “You don't like thinking about these things, huh?"
“You don't get to think about many things in my line of work. I only think about getting ready to be back in your arms—where I belong."
Sweetheart he was with those words, made you all giddy and embarrassed. Waving your hand like those shit Lifetime movies towards the Jock with a pea-sized brain. All this grinding and loving talk made you mush. Should’ve been a housewife at this point if you fell for such suave.
“You jest too much,” you scoff, rolling your shoulders back as you prepared for a smooth ride. Grinding sexes against each other while seducing the other with half-lidded yearning eyes. Running your hands up his chest to his throat. Wrapping your hands around the muscle to give a gentle squeeze, earning a soft moan.
“Babygirl, you know what a little squeeze does to a guy like me.” Leon purred, his words becoming husky. Rubbing his hands up and down your thighs and hips. Resting his head back on his pillow. “Pull those panties aside, gotta see my babygirl’s little pussy.”
Giggles erupted from your lips as you shuffled back a little. Instead of embarrassment, arousal was coursing through you. Simple acts could set someone aflame so fast. Dirty talk was one of them if paired with the right voice and man.
Instead of pulling it aside, you pulled them off. Albeit a bit awkwardly due to your pose, but still could be done. Dangling it in front of his face for the alluring factor before throwing them at the wall.
With your underwear out of the way, Leon got a good show of your cunt. Looking at the slick that made him groan involuntarily. Imagining the scene that would play out alongside you. Being lost in his world made his body react for him, making him grind into the warmth you brought. Rocking you back and forth against him.
“There she is! Good girl, baby, just like that.” He rasped, glancing up at you. Noticing you were entranced as well, the way he handled himself.
Leon chuckled, reaching out with his free hand to grab your chin. Snapping you out of the trance as you meet his gaze. So mesmerized by a simple movement. “Eyes on me, Miele. You're doing so good for me.”
His hand left your chin to return back to it's resting place; your hip. Guiding you to grind against his bulge.
“You're unfair if I have to be bare and you get to keep your boxers on." You huffed, impatiently yanking his boxers down. Watching it hit his abdomen with a small slap against his skin. Leaking precum onto the skin, made you let a appreciative hum. “Better, I don't wanna be lonely." You chuckled, mimicking an earlier Kennedy wink.
Why were you two chuckling or laughing so much? You felt like the two of you were having your virginities taken. The awkward sex, shuffling of sheets, and being embarrassed. To be honest, it had been a while considering Leon left home so often. Leaving you without any genuine love-making.
“How about you lie on me? It'll be easier, promise.” Leon motioned with his hands towards his chest. Free and open like the two of you. Sweet smile on his face that revealed those dimples you loved.
Taking the offer, you moved to lay on him. Ear pressed to his chest as was his cock against your opening. Your arms wrapped around his chest as you sunk down. Letting out a soft moan at the insertion.
He rubbed your back, comforting you as you grew accustomed to him again. Murmuring soft words of praise,
“Good girl, just like that.”
His fingers went up and down your back. Languidly thrusting his cock up into you. “Missed this, missed you," he moans, bucking his hips up into you on accident. Squeezing him like a vice as his cock head pressed up into that sweet spot. “Missed that face you make when taking my fat cock." 
“Missed you too," your hands go to stroke his chest. Propping your head up on his chest with your chin. Face in a faux pout as you blink slowly. Letting out a small gasp every few thrusts. “We haven't done this in a while, Leon." 
“Yeah, we really haven't." Leon sighed, letting his head rest back against his pillow. “Look, I'm still sorry for not being here for you." 
He looked back at you, eyes somber as he added more, “It's hard. I know you want to know but I can't tell you. I'm afraid of what'll happen if I tell you. The government is terrifying powerful. I don't want you to die because of me."
It was obvious the government was terrifying, seeing how it reacted to certain things. Police brutality, shitty presidents, probably running some bioweapon deal underneath it. Power hungry just like everyone else. Those who denied being power-hungry were always the ones who were most. They just knew when to not say they were—they were smart.
“I could see that, Leon. I know what you do, ok? Bioweapons? Fight them? You and the government aren't exactly ‘low-key’. I'm sure a lot of the public knows.” You answered, feeling odd while talking about the government with Leon during sex. Such a turn-on.
Of course you'd know, even if he didn't want to go into details—mostly because it invalidates his contract and have himself and you be shot; he knew you weren't dumb. Worst part it was during something so vulnerable.
"Yeah, that's the bad part." He muttered, letting his hands grab your cheek. Giving it a small pinch as he gave a smile. “You look so pretty when you're taking my dick.”
“Turn off?" In truth, it only did a little. Knowing it would've gotten you a harsh thrust into your core. “I love you, but geez… You are something else with certain words.”
"Ah, losing my charm now, hm?” Leon thought to himself, pursing his lips as his eyes seemingly ran after some cleverly thought up phrase that made girls wet. "Ah, I think I got one.”
He drew closer, tipping his head forward so your noses touched. Knowing the smile on his face as he purred out sultry words, “Been thinking about this all day, especially when you made dinner. Wanted to take you over the dishwasher and fuck that tight little pussy into being mine.” His hands grabbed at your hips, moving you up and down on his cock faster. Fucking you with a purpose. The feeling made your eyes flutter, biting your lip to stop yourself from moaning.
“Leon…” You moaned out, hearing the slap of skin behind you. "Y-you're ‘pposed to be gentle!"
A loud whine came from your throat, followed by a smack to your ass. Your shoulders jumping at the sudden harsh smack. Fingers digging into Leon's chest as he fucked you himself.
“Mmmm, I know, baby," he groaned, “But this pussy’s too perfect for me to not fuck.”
Leon laughed, eyes crinkled. All the while his dick kept curling up your walls to hit you again and again in that sweet, gooey spot. Making you leak down his cock to his balls.
Noticing his effect, he adjusted his hand to where he could rub lazy circles into your clit. Making your thigh quiver at too much stimulation. Hips tried to avoid his stubborn hand as he grew relentless in the stimulation.
You leaned forward to kiss him, before pushing his bangs back. Shutting yourself up so you wouldn't get a noise complaint from your next-door neighbors. They didn't need to hear more of Leon fucking you right. Felt amazing to finally be able to feel him again. His hands on your hips, dick curling up inside of you, lips against yours. Made a girl almost cry at the luck.
“Stop being so tight, gonna choke my dick out of oxygen and blood." Leon chuckled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He ran his hands up and down your back, moving to your neck. Pressing your foreheads together so he could gaze at you.
“I love you…” Leon murmured, pulling you back in for another kiss you eagerly accepted. Hands curled up into his hair and pulled it. Pulling away from the kiss to pull his head back. Delivering kisses from his jaw to his throat. Nipping at the skin that made him moan. Making him roll his hips up into you quicker. How'd that angel a year ago become such a succubus in his arms?
"Love you too.” You responded, burying your head in his neck as you began to moan. Biting down on the skin that'll leave a bruise. 
With such love came passion, each thrust carrying it. Each touch of Leon's fingers on your skin lighting it afire. The nails scratched the vulnerable flesh as he started huffing. Reaching its peak, as does every man that ages.
“I got you, don't worry." His hands tightened around you. Pulling you tight against his chest as he rushed to climax. Balls slapping against your pussy and hearing the vibrations of his voice in his throat. Rumbling with each thrust. Almost seemed pathetic with how he was acting.
“That's it baby, you're doing so good f'me. Taking me so well. Just let go, squeeze my cock. Wanna feel you gush around me.”
Oh, sweet fuck those words sent you over the edge. Drenching his cock with more slick. Whining at the overstimulation with his quick thrusts. Crying as he pulls you from his neck to give you a sloppy kiss. Muffling his last groan he released himself inside of you. Hips slowly came to a halt as he panted.
“That’s my girl" Leon whispered, giving one last sweet kiss before resting his head back against his pillow. Letting his arms fall from your body to rest beside him.
Taking it as a sign to get off of him, you scooted off. Almost pulling him out of you before he stopped you with his hand being lazily raised.
“Wanna stay in my pussy a little bit longer. Too lazy to pull out.”
You groaned, brows furrowed but relenting as you pulled him into his side into a spooning position. Moving to where your back pressed against his. Arm wrapped around your waist and stubble rubbing against your neck. Leon already rubbing himself into the crook of your neck. Resting his forehead in the crook with an appreciative hum.
“Such a good girl you were." Leon praised, kissing your shoulder. Giving both your shoulder and neck small ‘good job’ kisses. “Kinda hurting, though…” He mumbled, groaning as he pushed his weight into your back.
“I did say while getting my brains fucked out you're supposed to be gentle. La mia brava ragazza.” Your hands squeezed his forearms. Sighing as you came down from your high. Tired from the dick in you and dreading having to wake up with dried cum on your thighs.
“I’ll get out in a few minutes, need to shower anyway.” Leon chuckled warmly, finally catching his breath. His hands come to hold your chest, giving a small squeeze. Not sexual in any way, just something comforting he did.
“Count me in…”
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“When I wanted to come shower with you, I didn’t say eat me the hell out, Leon.” You hissed, swatting him with a towel as you stumbled out of the shower. Second orgasm within the hour and you're shaking like a little lamb. Already watching Leon drying his hair off with a shake and towel. Glancing over at you with a cheeky smile. You paused, before shrugging, ok, maybe it was good. Too good with his stubble rubbing up against you. Sucking on your clit like a lollipop.
“You expect a man like me not to take this opportunity?” He asked incredulously, a hand on his chest as he raised an eyebrow towards you. Almost as if offended you didn’t know who he was despite being his lover. “You hurt me, amore mio.”
As expected, he couldn’t help but jest at you. Watching you shake your head and pinch the brow of your nose. Offering a temple kiss in kind of his attempt to make you smile. “I’ll stop for tonight, don’t worry.”
“You should.” To keep yourself from losing another brain cell at your smitten lover, you dried off. Leaving him to his own devices while you dried your hair and body.
Leon smiled, before noticing the pill bottle on the bathroom sink. Taking it as his medication for the week is another opportunity for conversation. “So, this is what they gave me?”
He held the bottle in his hands, giving it a small shake with an estimate of how many pills were in it. Before moving to read the label and daily amount. Reading the daily amount, he hummed, before noticing the sticky note.
“You’re going to bingo without me?” It shattered his heart as he said it out loud, glancing over at you. Watching your eyes widen at the word ‘bingo’. Bingo? What’d he know about bingo? He only knew where everyone went for bingo.
“Bingo? What about bingo?” You asked, confused as you looked up to see the pill bottle in his hand. 
“Oh…”
Someone’s getting an angry phone call later.
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𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒕 — @rigorwhoring, @xoxostarlet, @leqonsluv3r
If you wanna be apart of my taglist just send a DM or ask! I don't mind! Tomorrow I'll be dropping two bots! Then you will see me a week or so later! Love you guys! <3
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jazeswhbhaven · 2 days
Text
I was curious so I looked at the prologue (yah I know whatever side-eye me but anyway)
*spoilers ahead*
I'm going to talk about this in bullet points because this is more like a curiosity read instead of a "I'm going to invest in this" read.
Levi Childish Jealously Overall Thoughts:
First, now I get why they said "chlidren's day" It is because MC was talking about Minhyeok and them hanging out each children's day together and their fond memories of such
Also, Levi are you fucking srs why are you checking up on MC with a damn crystal ball as if your ass can't stand the fact that they're out smiling with the Gehenna besties like????
I clicked on the prologue and his ass was already mad and it made me laugh because see??? see what I mean by he's always mad about something? lmao
Also he made Foras go out and help him do the spying like? Ok
He made Foras feel bad about suggesting to go nerf Minhyeok if Levi wished it and this man is like "oh a sudden death that will make one miss the other forever" and he's referring to Solomon here and Foras was like "fuck" (HONESTLY Levi he only suggested that to make you feel better like don't do that .-.)
Learned some stuff about the devil named Seere, who can travel anywhere and through dreams too in a blink of an eye (reminds me of someone from another fandom...) and that's the one who produced the memory manipulation spell and it seems he just does this any way to cause mischief on Earth (so if anyone experiences deja vu blame him /j)
So the rules are, Levi can't alter things too much or it messes with each others minds or causes both of them or just Levi to wake up out of the dream if I'm getting that right
also Satan is about to get pissed the fuck off because they also got a sleeping spell/poition from Seere and everyone in the palace was asleep LMAO. The fact that he pretty much knocked everyone out so he could do what he wanted without pushback goodness.
NOW i'mma go over the dream events:
Minhyeok looked so ready and adorable in his uniform, confirmed this is high school Minhyeok and MC.
Minhyeok saw Levi just standing in his room and was like o______o the fuck? And Levi literally snapped his fingers and erased him.
Imagine the nightmare Minhyeok had as a teenager and was like "a demon fucking erased me from existence omfg" and his parents were like ???? and his brother was like "lol wut"
anyways moving forward, MC noticed the changes but didn't challenge them (Levi is hot wow gonna forget my friend ig /j)
Already this man is mad at MC for tripping and not tying their shoes...plz???
Also for whatever reason MC is very clumsy here, like everything reads to me like a Kdrama where every moment MC is falling, tripping, forgetting shit and Levi is getting annoyed and pissed off at every mistake and it's sending me because dude it is not that deep please relax
Cool Levi moments though is when he ties the shoes, blocks MC from getting hit by a volleyball, lends his gym clothes, gets a cream bun for MC, and takes MC to the nurse because they sprained their ankle
WTF Levi moments is....him basically glaring at the teacher who didn't challenge him, choking another fucking student for almost hitting MC with the volleyball, shoving students (actually I like that and wish I had someone to shove people out the way to get me stuff)
everything else was pretty tame and a good set up though for a highschool au, ASIDE from the sexual stuff? (again personal preference so don't axe me in the mentions)
Next, some screenshots of Levi doing the MOST
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You see this? This is you all's king btw because he and I would have been boxing...like? don't fucking call me stupid for forgetting shit like a bitch has ADHD so yeah I fucking forgot damn.
and CUT THEIR FEET OFF? LEVI PLEASE
But again this is good material for how he would act in a school au setting, I do remember doing a childhood au with him and the other kings and he reacted similarly by finding everything they did annoying, kept to himself, and caused an issue that nearly killed everyone because he couldn't control his powers just yet, so if I do decide to do a highschool au with Astra I'll remember Levi's reactions for reference
Oh and a couple other things
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this is our official room in Gehenna?
Baby....
I'm giving Satan extra smooches this room is gorgeous? Do we fuck in here too? I would. (i'm a sucker for canopy beds with ornate designs)
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Just some mini lore about Seere. Also something about him being under Asmodeus or this being mostly monitored by Asmo? (someone help here I was speed reading) So that's interesting.
Overall, everyone that likes schoolboy role play sexy time, have at it. My journey stops here at the sfw part.
Justice for Minhyeok though he is just in the void somewhere like
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a funny thing before you all go look at Glas' name
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it's usually Glasyalabolas, right? I was cracking up because he's never beating the Ikea furniture name allegations.
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yandere-sins · 3 days
Note
A yandere with a darling who is kinda worse than they are but are still into it.....I don't know how unhinged you'd have to be for the yan to be like "Are you ok? Like if you need to talk about it I've put listening devices in the vents but still..."
I didn't want this to go into compliant darling territory or the darling being the yandere for someone else (though I did laugh a lot at the idea of telling the darling that the vents are bugged just in case they need it lol that's a good one). But this somewhat brought me a kind of different idea which you probably didn't intend, but I hope you like it all the same!
Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Descriptive acts of murder, stabbing, punching other people, breaking bones, getting bloody, a lot of blood actually, burying bodies), Sexual Content (Mentioning of non-con, dub-con, taking advantage, doing it in the blood of victims and next to dead bodies), Mentioning of drugs, Mentioning of knives, Patient/Doctor relationships, Murderer/Admirerer relationships, Reader is a serial killer, Yandere captures people for reader to kill, Yandere is also mad but so is reader, Reader doubts yandere's reasons for liking them, Reader is genderneutral but gets lifted into a bridal-style at the end, I once again didn't compile these warnings while writing and editing so I might miss some, sorry :(, Mentioning of wanting to throw up, Reader doesn't actually want to get better, it was different but really fun to write, Long post?, I feel like there are more warnings... but I can't remember anymore, if you made it this far and still want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!
»»———————— ♡ ————————««
Click
You sighed, holding your head in your hands, arms squeezed between your torso and legs. Your head was throbbing with the headache of the century. One you hadn't had in a long time... like five days. 
"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"
Groaning, you heard your own voice echo through your dizzy brain, nausea building as you felt like you were on a ship, everything moving unsteadily around you. The blinding lights flooding the off-white room didn't help soothe the feeling either, and your whole body kept tensing up, readying itself to throw up. You tried deep breaths, but they barely did anything. Not like they ever did something. You were too far gone for that.
"I did what was necessary," his voice rang out through the speaker in the top left corner, accompanied by the screeching of technical issues. You whined loudly, tearing your hair out as your head felt like it would burst. "My bad," he added, turning down the volume.
"What was it this time? Double the dose, triple? Must you keep drugging me? Some doctor you are..."
"I tried something new," he admitted, a cheeky grin in his voice. 
"Worked great..." you slurred, listening to him chuckle. 
For a while, you gave in to the need to collapse, putting your arm over your eyes to escape the lights while you thought about the last few things you could remember. Therapy was going well... at least that's what you were told. But the nurses—ugh. That one bitch.
"She did it on purpose," you mumbled, hearing the softest of agreement through the speaker. You knew that if it wasn't against regulation, he'd be sitting next to you, brushing your hair out of the way while you'd tell him your woes. He was that kind of sicko. A doctor, yet fascinated with you, his patient. Even though he merely sat behind the cameras, watching you, you could hear the sickening affection he held for only his favorite patient in every one of his words. 
In a way, he wasn't that different from you.
"You beat her up real good, smashed her face in. Got yourself into a frenzy and just tore open all your stitches from your last fight while you were at it, you really..."
He sighed. He was disappointed. Upset. This was a significant setback for him, too, after all. 
"She called me too stupid to ever recover properly and I was trying this time, really! How else should I have reacted?"
"You could have told me."
"And you would have dealt with her how?"
A brief chuckle rang out before he replied, although, had you been less delirious, you wouldn't have needed to ask. You knew what he did to people who behaved poorly with you. "I would have taken care of her, as always. You know you have my unending support."
You couldn't help a smile creeping over your face, the memory of burying the last nurse who bothered you in the asylum's cemetary resurfacing. Digging out the grave had been hard work, but you had to agree with him that the physical labor did wonders to soothe your ever-agitated mind. 
"You're terrible," you mumbled, unable to hide your smile.
"Ah! There it is! Look at those little dimples! I'm glad my services are appreciated by my darling. I was hoping to take you out on a rendevous once the dust settles. Maybe we can do that sooner than I expected."
"Who'd want that, you sicko."
Groaning, you finally sat up, looking down at the cushioned floor while you adjusted to being awake. Standing took a few attempts; the cushions aligned along the wall, not actually graspable, even if they looked like it. Everything about the solitary cell was so safe, it made you feel helpless. But eventually you managed to get to your wobbly feet, sighing in exhaustion once you stood.
"There you go, breaking my heart," he sighed, and you shook your head with a laugh, knowing he didn't mean it. 
"No straight jacket this time?" you asked, raising your arms and, for the first time since you awoke, realizing your movements were unrestraint.
"You weren't in a condition to restrain you. I prioritized your healing over that awful jacket."
"You just don't like it because it does nothing for my figure."
Again, you heard the grin in his voice as he said, "Busted. You're too cute to walk around constrained. Even though I love how crazy you look with it."
"Sicko..." you mumbled, your nickname for your doctor, endearing only in his ears. 
Your limbs were terribly heavy as you moved them towards the door. Part of you wanted to collapse on the ground again; simply pass out where you were. But knowing him, he'd definitely use the opportunity to take advantage of you, especially now that he could get a video of it. 
You didn't always mind what your doctor did to you. In a way, he was helpful even if everything you two did was against any laws in this country. If anyone knew what you two were getting into when no one was looking, you'd both be put down like rabid dogs. But that's just how you two were—feral.
The sicko kept telling you how he'd get you back on track. How he'd "fix" you just enough so you could go home with him. There was no way you'd consider living with him if you ever did get out. Still, he liked to paint the picture whenever he crawled into your bed while on night duty, hugging you and telling you about his ideas. You told him often enough that, given the chance, you'd kill him outside the safety of this institution, but so far... you hadn't.
You had enough chances, enough people he let you murder, watching you while you did it and helping you to hide the bodies once you were satisfied, but you never once turned the knife on him. Maybe it was because of his studies; perhaps he knew more about you than you about yourself. Or it was because he was just as insane. Fucking your patient in the blood of their victims was definitely not normal, even you knew that. So what other reason could he have for it except insanity? 
"Earth to my darling, I repeat: Are you thirsty?"
You felt the heat spread over your face as you felt called out by his question, almost as if he was reading your mind. It wasn't like you two were lovers. There was no chance in hell you'd get together with someone like him—or anyone for that matter. You didn't want the burden of someone clinging to you while you did your dirty work.
But the sex after releasing all your pent-up anger? Out of this world. 
Perhaps his doctorate was in fucking instead of psychiatry, but he knew how to work every part of his body. And he knew just how to get you in the mood, too. An explosive combination, mixing his lust with your madness.
That didn't change much about your feelings for him, though. 
"I'm not," you muttered, trying to hide your face, which probably showed the embarrassment you felt, thinking of the last romp you two had. You tried the deep breaths again, but the thoughts kept popping back into your mind. Must be the drugs, you thought.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course!" 
His excitement was loud and clear as it rang through the microphone, and you weren't sure if you should smile at it or sneer. For some reason, you both held each other in a tight grip, unable to be separated, yet most likely toxic for each other. But he still got excited over any kind of interest you had in him and you about all the things he did so you could live out your best life—even though you were locked away for a reason. 
"Why me?" you asked, standing in front of the door, not looking up. Even if he was just the voice behind a camera at the moment, somehow, this question left a bad taste in your mouth. You didn't want him to see the conflict on your face; didn't want him to know that you were doubting how deserving you were of his favor. It wasn't insecurity, wasn't a need for reassurance, but how could anyone look at you and think, "That's the one!"? You killed people, went into violent rages, and weren't considered safe enough to be reintegrated into society, probably ever again. There was nothing you had to show for yourself. Nothing that could justify the feeling of adoration your own therapist held for you. Especially not he. He should have been one of the good ones. And you weren't. It made no sense to you why he'd behave like he did.
"Why you what?"
"Why do you like me so much? I mean, come on! I mean, look at us! We're batshit crazy! This isn't some romance movie on television, we're actually doing bad shit, and yet you keep shielding me, doing me favors, telling me you love me. I'm sure there are others out there who you can fix and fuck if you like. It's not like..."
Biting your own tongue, you wondered if it was the new drug combo he tried on you that made you feel especially irritated with his feelings that day. You let him do all this stuff to and with you, but now you were getting weirded out by it? It wasn't like you to get so worked up over him; you were more of the cool type, spitting-in-his-face-type if he pissed you off. You didn't even want to validate his feelings for you, but also... being self-aware enough to know you were a danger to humankind, you couldn't shake the feeling he might just be using you for his own sick desires. And that made you angry again. You'd not be a pawn or a means for no one.
Click
"Wow, okay, you bastard." Your grumbling fell on deaf ears as he turned off the microphone. "Sure, I'm going through something here, but by all means, stop listening. Not like it's your job or anything..."
Unprepared, you jolted back as the door to your cell suddenly yanked open, revealing the pitch-black corridor that lay behind. Apparently, it was late at night, but you couldn't focus on that as your doctor appeared from the shadows, a deep frown etched into his beautiful face. He should have been a model. At least that job wouldn't have led him to meet you.
"Do you doubt me?" he asked, stalking forward, undeterred by the open door, not thinking for a second that you'd try to escape. "Do I need a reason to love you for you to believe it?"
He caught your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back as he matched the steps you were taking backward. Soon, you'd run out of space to back into, but perhaps that was his goal. 
"Can't I just love you because the first time you caved in and told me about the things you went through, things just felt... right? Everything just clicked in my head, and I thought, "Wow, I want to see them happy!" Must there be any other reason for me to love you?"
Your back hit the wall just as his eyes lowered to your lips, his thumb reaching up to brush over them. "I dream about those lips. I can't help but think about you no matter where I go. In the evening, I imagine you curled up on the couch next to me; sometimes, I hear your laugh when you aren't even there. I want that picture-perfect life with you, but the moment I step into your room and see you covered in blood, your eyes showing just how far gone you are, it just..."
He looked up again, his eyes swirling with all the emotions he tried to convey in his words. But when he met your gaze, the color drained, leaving behind what you could only describe as pure, unfiltered madness.
"It drives me insane."
His second hand raised to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm for a moment, a soft smile creeping over his lips. "I like you like this. Docile, calm, sweet. I like it when you ask me things, I like it when you beg for something. I like it when you only let me do things to you. I want to help you, I do! But..."
His hand sliding down, you looked away, trying to catch it before it slipped around your throat, pressing into it, squeezing so hard you felt as if your head was going to detach from your neck.
"I want to ruin you. I want you worse, I want you deranged. I want you to kill everyone and then me, so I'll be the last of your victims, the only one you remember. I want to be ruined by you so badly that every day, I hope you tell me about yet another staff member we get to kill, and then you can use me to satisfy your needs. Can't you understand? This is love. No one will ever love someone like you, but. I. do. I understand you, I care for you. And I will continue to do so, with no other reason than I love you. I love you so much."
You gasped for air at this point, fingers grabbing his arm. It was hard listening to him, but it was harder to breathe. You knew he wouldn't kill you. This was nothing compared to other things you two did to each other. It stung a little when he said no one else would ever love you, but he was right. Not unless the change everyone expected from you was also something you wanted. 
But why would you?
The pressure on your throat disappeared, only for your breath to be stolen by his kiss. You hated this man. You hated him because he was a little bit too much like you. Too unhinged to be likable. And at the same time, he wasn't at all. He was too supportive, too nice, too forgiving. It disgusted you, honestly. Yet, you reciprocated, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Before he could back off, you caught his cheeks in a squeeze between your fingers to draw him back to lick off the red fluid, reminding him he wasn't the deranged one here. 
"Don't question me again about my feelings, please," he asked, out of breath, too, as he bumped his forehead against yours. "I love you, I really do."
"You're a sicko, you know that? And your beard is stinging me, you should shave."
At this, he laughed out loud, raising his head to the ceiling. "I spent three days waiting for you to wake up. You can deal with some stubble."
"No, I don't like it."
Grinning, he lowered his face to you and gave you another peck on the lips. "It's gone tomorrow, I promise."
"Can I go back to my room now?"
He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Someone's awaiting their punishment still. You really want to miss out on that?"
Now it was your turn to grin as well. "Aww, you shouldn't have! Are we gonna cut up that bitch now? For real?"
"Anything for you," he mumbled, raising your hand to give it a quick smooch. "But let me change your bandages first. I don't want you to accidentally get sepsis if your wounds are still open."
"Surprisingly, you're still a doctor at heart."
"That's not true," he gasped, feigning indignation about your statement.
"Are you not?" you asked, watching him bend down to pick you up, bridal-style even. You weren't mad since your legs felt even weaker than before, and you really wanted to conserve your energy. 
"I'm afraid it's no longer medicine that has claimed my heart."
He looked at you, smiling softly. "It's all you."
"And I can't help but love you more, realizing I am becoming more like you every day."
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padfootagain · 21 hours
Text
Only An Almost (VII)
Chapter 7: Tender Bitterness
Hello!! Here is another chapter! So much angst in this fic, I’m sorry (no, I’m not).
I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!
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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU
Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!
Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.
Word Count : 1759
Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist
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“Stop cheating!”
“I’m not cheating!”
“Yes, you are.”
“I’m not!”
“You can’t use the same word twice.”
“Since when?”
“Since it’s in the rules.”
“You’re just a sore loser.”
“I’m not, you’re simply cheating!”
You gave him a toothy grin, the kind that made you absolutely adorable, that melted Andrew’s heart…
“It counts.”
“It doesn’t.”
You pouted, gave him your most adorable gaze…
God, you were so fucking annoying…
Andrew heaved a frustrated sigh, hiding his smile and reddening cheeks by grabbing the pen and paper set next to your game of scrabble and your cups of tea.
He counted in silence the points that belonged to you and wrote them down. When Andrew looked up again, you were grinning, clearly proud of yourself. You were so fucking annoying…
… he wanted to kiss that smirk off your face.
It was raining, you were both too lazy to go outside. You had eaten lunch with some friends, including Sam and Daphne who were being unbearably cute together, although the stress of the wedding was growing week after week. You were the one to offer Andrew to drop by to play some boardgame or just watch TV, or whatever. ‘Hang out’, that’s how you called it. You wanted to spend time with him. And Andrew hesitated at first, he thought you meant that you wanted to have sex. And it sounded crazy, knowing how he felt for you and how lovely you looked today and how he wanted to touch you right now… it sounded crazy to think that he didn’t want to have sex with you. And actually, he did want you. If you offered now, he would definitely say yes. But this conversation of yours during your hike was keeping him up at night. He didn’t know what to make of it.
You would never give him a proper chance, he knew that now. The only choice that remained was to enjoy having you by his side for as long as he could, or stop seeing you altogether. He wouldn’t be able to be your friend now. Not after losing all hope, not after learning what it felt like to be yours and for you to be almost his… he couldn’t do it.
So he tried to put more distance between the two of you this past week. It didn’t really work, for the friends part of your relationship. But the ‘benefits’ were down to zero. Andrew wasn’t sure whether he felt good or bad about it.
“Thanks, Andy!”
He mumbled some incoherent answer, playing off annoyance, when the words had simply remained stuck in his throat as you beamed up at him.
Yeah, he wasn’t doing too well…
You both grew quiet as Andrew was thinking, staring at the letters displayed before him. He was losing, by a lot, but then again, his head was everywhere but on the game at hand. It was fun though, you were fun.
He laughed at another stupid joke you said, and forgot the word he had thought of to play. You were laughing as well, and he bathed in the warmth of your smile, in your witty remarks, in how much fun he was having. For a moment, the weight of your relationship was lifted from his heart and shoulders. After all, you could have shared such a moment being friends, or even in a relationship. You could have laughed with him like this too, if you loved him…
“And that is how I will die of boredom… you’re no craic!” you complained, pouting dramatically to make him laugh.
And you easily succeeded, he giggled and it made him blush, the way his heart skipped a beat at how adorable you looked.
“If you stopped talking, maybe I’d be faster.”
“Are you blaming me for your lack of vocabulary?”
“Sorry, who writes lyrics here?”
“Sorry, Mr. Poet. I know your art demands patience and devotion.”
“Exactly, so please, be quiet from now on. I must summon the Muses.”
“If I shove the letters into your mouth, will that help, Virgil?”
“So violent…”
He was struggling not to laugh too loudly all the same.
“Feed the board. It demands your offering.”
“You’re fucking mad.”
“Says you!”
“Says me… here you go.”
He placed a word on the board, nothing too fancy, nothing that would allow him to win. You glanced over at the letters he had left and frowned.
“You could win more points if you moved your word and used the plural.”
“Really? I didn’t see it. Too late now.”
But you picked up the letter, moved his word around.
“Isn’t that cheating?” he chuckled.
“I’m just helping. You’re not focused today.”
Your voice was infinitely gentle as you spoke, there was worry tainting your tone. Andrew looked up at you with a questioning frown.
“I just… you look… you seem a little off these days, Andy,” you went on, clearly cautious in the words you chose. “Is everything okay?”
He struggled to swallow.
“’Course. I’m fine.”
“You know you can talk to me if something’s wrong, right?”
But Andrew shook his head, offering you a reassuring smile.
“I’m perfectly fine. There is no need for you to worry.”
The look you gave him pierced his heart. You looked at him like you… like you were hurting with him. How ironic, considering that you were the reason his body and soul were aching now…
“I’m worried about you. I hate seeing you sad.”
He let out a bitter scoff, he couldn’t help it.
“Like you care,” he spat with more venom in his tone than he meant to let out.
You looked at him with wide eyes, blinking in surprise.
“Of course, I care… why would you say that?”
“You…”
He heaved a frustrated sigh.
“Never mind,” he mumbled under his breath.
“What’s wrong with you? We’ve been friends for years, you’re… you’re one of the most important people in my life… how could you say that? God, we… we’ve slept together. And you think I don’t care?”
His jaw clenched, he struggled to blink tears away. He took in a deep breath.
“I… I’m sorry. I’m just… I’m a little lost. In my life, I mean. In… in everything… I don’t know what to do.”
You silently invited him to keep going. The rain was louder outside, the sky so dark you could have turned on the lights.
“I… I don’t know… I have a decision to take, and I don’t know what to do.”
“You don’t want to tell me the specifics?”
“No… honestly, no, I don’t want to.”
“Okay. Well… what would make you happier? I reckon that’s all you need to ask yourself.”
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m gonna be on the losing side no matter what.”
Slowly, you nodded, but your frown was enough to tell him that you had no clue what he was talking about. You pondered his words for a moment.
“Y/N… I don’t think you can help anyway. I just have to figure this out on my own. Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m fine. I’m simply worried about something, that’s all.”
Slowly, you nodded, although you seemed unconvinced.
“Can I do something to make you feel better?”
You opened your arms for him.
“A hug?”
He chuckled fondly at you. Even if he tried to be mad at you, he simply couldn’t. You were too sweet for that…
“Sure, come here.”
You yielded easily, standing up to hug him. Sitting in his chair you were a little taller than him, for once. He breathed deeply your scent as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. He felt his bones melting under your touch as you stroked his hair, a palm splayed reassuringly across his spine, as if to support his frame. You kissed his forehead, and he almost cried with the tenderness of your gesture.
He held you tightly, more so than he should have, but you didn’t seem to mind, accepting the way he clung unto you.
“What if I ordered some pizza and we watched some disgustingly sweet movie together tonight?”
He hummed in approval.
“Sounds nice,” he answered in a sigh.
“If you’re nice to me, I’ll let you have some of my favourite whiskey.”
“When am I ever not nice to you?”
“When you try to prevent me from cheating at scrabble?”
“It’s called being a law-abiding citizen. You should try sometimes.”
“Huh, huh…. No thanks. I’d rather remain a rascal.”
He chuckled into your neck, sending vibrations through your skin, and he noticed the way it made you shiver.
God, if you held him like that, if you reacted this way to him… it ought to mean something… despite his job and the odds, perhaps one day you would…
He looked up at you when you gently pulled on his hair to guide him away from your neck. He thought you wanted to break free from the hug, and he almost protested, but then both of your hands were gently cradling his face, your thumbs brushing his bearded cheeks. Before he could realize what you were doing, you were pressing your lips to his, in the gentlest, most tender kiss he had ever been given. It was loving. He was shocked by the intimacy of it, how much care and love you were putting into the gesture. Andrew couldn’t remember ever being kissed so lovingly…
When you pulled away, he had to blink a few times to force his brain back into action.
And you looked down at him with so much fondness in your smile, as if you felt the same adoration that coursed through every fibre of his being every time he looked at you, every time he as much as thought of you.
And what if he could change your mind?
None of you said anything. Andrew buried his face into your neck again, held you tight, and you welcomed him in your embrace with a pressing of your lips to his hairline. Not a kiss, just a resting of your lips onto his skin. You inhaled deeply enough for him to hear it, to think that perhaps you were committing his scent to memory too, the same he did with yours. And all the while, there was nothing sexual in your gestures. Only comfort and kindness and maybe even love, Andrew was foolish enough to think of the word.
There was no way you could have held him like this, and not feel a thing… right?
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loonylupinblack3 · 17 hours
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Cold
Pairing: Logan Howlett x reader
Warnings: slightly suggestive content
Summary: it's cold and you decide to go exploring for a heated blanket. you find logan instead.
Word Count: 1.5k
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It was cold.
You were fucking freezing, shivering even under your piles of blankets. It was this stupid house, giant though it was, with shit heating. So when one of the kids fucked up and damaged the already extremely fragile heating, it broke. In the middle of winter.
You groaned, curling even further in on yourself, trying to keep any heat you’d formulated from escaping. Stupid house. Stupid cold. Stupid useless blankets. You wracked your brain for anything else you could get to find you some more warmth because you could not go on like this. You were jealous of all the mutants in the house with fire or heat mutations, or those with partners to sleep with, comfortable in each other's warmth.
You sat up when you remembered it. The electric blanket Storm had gotten as a gift a few years back lay discarded in one of the shelves in the kitchen, hidden in a box unopened. If you could get that, connect it to the outlet next to your bed, well…. You’d actually be able to sleep tonight.
It took you a while to actually build up the courage to leave your bed and your warmth, however slim it may be. When you did you were assaulted with the cold, more than twice as bad without your blankets. Not to say you weren’t already layered, with your winter pyjamas and hoodie, but still. It was cold.
You travelled down the long hallways and through the massive house, trying to get to the kitchen as quickly as possible. The torch in your hand shook slightly from your shivers, but you promised yourself it would all be worth it when you went back to your room with the toasty heated blanket.
You’d told yourself you’d be in and out, with the electric blanket in your room in no time, yet you stopped short when you saw the light on in the kitchen, and Logan leaning against the counter with a beer in his hand.
Your heart gave a lurch, which immediately gave you away, Logan’s eyes darting to you. You gave a nervous smile, sort of just… standing there. You’d had a minor crush on Logan for a while now, very low key. No one even knew about it; it was so minor. Just…. The playful banter you two had, and his looks, they appealed to you. Still, it was minor, and usually you were much more composed around him, but you were tired and cold and your defences were down.
“Logan,” you said, stepping forwards. “What are you doing here?”
Logan watched you intently, eyes roving your body as he sipped his beer. “Couldn’t sleep. What about you Darl?”
You tried not to smile at the nickname, rubbing your arms in an attempt to create more warmth. “I was cold.”
Logan raised his eyebrows. “So you came looking for company?”
Heat rushed to your face at the suggestion, as did Logan’s intent gaze as if he was eager to fill the role. You cleared your throat. “No, um, there’s a heated blanket in one of the cupboards.”
Again Logan raised his eyebrows with an amused expression. “Is there now?”
You felt a smile stretch on your face, even though you fought it. You rolled your eyes at him. “Yes, there is.”
He placed his beer on the counter and moved forwards. “Well now you’ve got to show me this blanket, because otherwise I’ll be believing you came here for me.”
The flirty tone in his voice made you flush even more, but you kept your cool, observing him with a calm expression, only a hint of a smile on your face now. “Alright then.”
You walked to the cupboard on the left, rummaging through it. Your memory was a little fuzzy but you were sure Storm had put it in here. Logan watched you with a smirk, beer forgotten as he leant against the counter.
You shot him a glare. “Aren’t you cold?”
In nothing but a t-shirt and jeans, you’d be shivering uncontrollably at that point, barely able to form a coherent thought let alone a sentence. Logan seemed fine though, not a single goosebump on his skin. More than fine actually, if his entertained smirk was anything to go by.
“Helpful side of the regeneration,” Logan said, “keeps my body temp normal no matter what.”
He stepped forward till he was standing over you, watching you intently. “Now, where’s that blanket bub?”
You cleared your throat, standing up. “Must be in one of the other cupboards.”
He made an ‘ah’ sound as you quickly moved onto a different cupboard, all the while feeling yourself get colder and colder. Yet as you continued to search, you came up empty handed, the blanket having disappeared all together.
You were relentless though, because the thought of Logan thinking you came down there for him… well, you weren’t sure you’d be able to look him in the eye again if that happened. So you continued looking fruitlessly, all the while feeling the cold wrap its icy claws around you.
“Alright, you’re getting cold, admit defeat yeah?” Logan asked after watching you nearly drop an item because of how bad your hands were shaking.
You shook your head. “I’m fine.”
He let out a scoff. “You’re certainly not fine. Come on now.”
His hand gently grabbed your shoulder, pulling you back from the cupboards. You turned around to stare at him, slightly panicked. “I didn’t come down here to take you to bed. I promise.”
Logan let out a laugh, his arms draped loosely around your waist. “I know that bub, I was just playing.”
You looked up at him, slightly embarrassed, though the cold ensured you didn’t focus on it too much. “Well…. As long as you know.”
Logan gave a rueful nod. “I know, but I’d have liked it if you did take me there.”
You nearly let out a baffled gasp, looking up at him with wide eyes. You two had your fun, but you’d never been this forward with each other before. “What?”
“Well, you’re cold,” he said, “and there’s no heated blanket. I’d hate for you to go back to your room just to be cold again.”
You couldn’t help but smile slightly. “Oh so you're doing me a favour are you?”
Logan shrugged, a smirk on his face. “You could say that. Or you could say I’ve wanted you for a long fucking time and I’m finally doing something about it.”
“Oh?”
Logan’s arms around your waist tightened, pulling you to his chest. You revelled in the warmth of having a human’s body against yours, the heat radiating from him a welcome comfort.
“Yes, oh,” Logan replied, grinning at you like he knew how much you enjoyed being in his arms. “So what do ya say bub?”
You couldn’t think too much about it, the cold making it hard for any rational thought to make it through, but you knew you wanted this. Him.
“Hmm… I say we better hurry up and get to my room because I’m freezing.”
Logan smirked. “One thing first.”
He leant down and kissed you, one hand staying on your waist while the other came up to your face, gripping your chin slightly and tilting it forwards to give him better access to your mouth. His lips were feverish against yours, like a starved man, dragging against your mouth like it was all he’d been able to think about for who knew how long. 
You kissed him back, something he obviously revelled in if his audible groan was anything to go by. Both his hands were now on your face cupping it as he kissed you harder, devouring your mouth.
He pulled back when he noticed your shaking though, shaking his head at you with an amused smile. “Now let’s get you in bed yeah?”
You nodded your head, almost salivating at the thought of some warmth, and let Logan lead you to your room, a hand placed firmly on your waist. When you saw your bed, looking so inviting, you left Logan’s side to crawl into it, letting out a sigh of content when you covered yourself under the piles of blankets.
Logan smirked at you before tugging his shirt up and taking it off. Your eyes widened as you stared at his chest, his abs flexing as he raised his arms, the small trail of hair going from his belly button to hidden behind the waistband of his sweatpants, hanging low in his hips and giving you the perfect view of his V-line. 
“What are you doing?” you managed to ask, even though you still hadn’t torn your gaze away from his body.
Logan’s smirk, noticing your stare, turned smug. “The less layers the better body heat bub.”
You swallowed, feeling your cheeks heat. “Well I’m too cold to take any of my clothes off.”
Logan moved forward, gently nudging you aside so he could get under the covers, immediately wrapping his arms around you and pulling your back to his chest. You shivered delightfully. He was right; the less layers the better body heat.
He moved forward to whisper in your ear, “that’s alright bub. We’ll leave that for another night.”
You smiled again, feeling flustered, and Logan chuckled against your head, giving you a chaste kiss on your hair. 
“Goodnight,” you whispered to Logan, snuggling closer to him.
Logan’s hands tightened around your waist, pressing his head into the crook of your neck and peppering some kisses there. “Goodnight bub.”
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eff4freddie · 2 days
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Touch | Part Six
Words: 5.8k
Just as you approach something resembling contentment, this broken world will exact its toll.
Warnings: smutty smut, trauma, grief, Joel hasn't come to terms with what happened in Salt Lake, Joel is bad at feelings, but pretty good with his hands. Minors DNI.
Part Five | Series Masterlist
You were busy again, the new table earning its keep almost immediately, and the ease that you moved around your treatment room, the way that you could bend without reaching over, push with your weight rather than your wrists, meant that you could concentrate more, heal more effectively. You hadn’t realised how much the clumsiness of the old dining table had been holding you back. Every day that you used it, you wanted to find a new way to thank Joel. Maybe even sometimes, with all of your clothes on.
Except that the idea also terrified you, in a way that you were struggling to really understand. The idea of him, of being naked with him, not that you really fully had been, of kissing him even, no that you had, was enough to send an absolute riot of butterflies careening through your guts and down into your legs, into your knees. The idea of him scared you, his reputation proceeded him, and you kept thinking of how wary Maria was, how protective Ellie seemed to be, how sweetly oblivious Tommy was most of the time which you were beginning to suspect was actually a choice. You wanted to pull them all into a room and forensically map out who the fuck Joel Miller actually was. You were aware you were thinking like a crazy person. You didn’t care.
Because then when he was with you, when you fell into his orbit, looked into his eyes, there was something heavier and realer and more tangible than your stupid, flighty, squawking fears. It worried you, that he made you into a different person when he was around you. You weren’t sure what that person was capable of getting up to, left to her own devices, but you had an inkling.
You knew that you were pushing him away, pushing it all away, because it scared you, but also it felt like the only sane thing to do, had kept you alive for years and years, had meant that when you lost people it hurt less, maybe. Being busy again, and fairly invested in maintaining your denial for as long as you could manage it, you got back to your usual routine of seeing the broken and weary people of Jackson early, before the work hours, and then steadily throughout the day. It afforded you the illusion of being sociable, of contributing to the community, without having to actually be in it. Without Ray and Marla, with Maria and Tommy wrapped up in the baby, with Joel being…Joel, you had collected a long list of clients and a dwindling list of friends. It could have made you sad if you thought about it, so you didn’t, and you were too busy anyway, and how could you be lonely with all these people in your house?
Besides which, in the quiet moments you could feel the tension in people, the uneasiness woven tight into the musculature of most of the residents you now saw. Not everyone knew Marla or Jacob or the others personally, not everyone even necessarily liked them, especially not fucking Jacob, but everyone had an investment in their safe and hopefully bountiful return.
To escape it, you went for long walks along the foreshore of Jackon’s lake at the bottom of the township, until the dying light forced you back. You were there, hands in the freezing water feeling out for flat stones you could warm in hot water and press into particularly assertive muscle knots, when you heard the yelling. You were up and sprinting, the twisty and icy path underneath you occasionally threatening to boot you into the snow, and if you’d had time to think about it you have marvelled at the difference in your reaction from Joel and Ellie’s homecoming to this one. The elation you felt at their return, the relief of it, not just for you and Marla and Ray, but for Jackon. For what it meant for this community. For your community.
Trying not to knock yourself out on the way to the gate meant that you didn’t initially notice the quiet. There was a smattering of people still out despite the cold, the encroaching darkness, but they weren’t rushing forward, weren’t really helping the returned residents, were in fact milling around, some just standing in quiet observance, and it occurred to you for a second that they were like onlookers at a funeral. You pushed forward into the crowd, trying to see past unmoving shoulders, past still bodies, moving towards the sounds of horses, of panting breaths you weren’t sure belonged to whom.
And then you arrived at the front, and you had a clear view. And you realised the panting breaths were your own.
There were only two horses, and only three riders. Marla at the reigns of one, Jacob slung over the back of her saddle, slumping over at an odd angle, his head rolled back in a way that you thought would really strain his cervical spine, until you realised he was tied to the horse, had been roped around Marla’s midsection, that he was nearly as pale as the snow around you, that he was very dead. The other rider stared, unblinking, into the distance and was eventually helped down and led to the infirmary, not ever having said a word.
Marla had seen you, had watched you fight your way to the front of the crowd, had searched you out. She was shivering, a splatter of blood across her chest and under her neck, and you couldn’t tell if it was hers or if it was Jacob’s or someone else’s entirely, and in that moment staring into her eyes you knew that it didn’t matter, that it would never matter, that whatever damage it was it had already been calculated, tallied, on a ledger somewhere none of you would ever be able to balance.
You motioned to a few of the men around you, gesturing to the ropes around Marla’s middle. ‘Cut him loose,’ you said, in a voice you didn’t recognise, and reached your arms up to hold Marla’s hand. You held it, limp and contrite in yours, while Jacob’s body was freed from hers. When he was lifted away she slumped forward, her back having held his weight for god knows how long, and you caught her, pulled her down from the horse on wobbling legs, let her crumple underneath you and set her down onto the pavement. Someone pulled a blanket over her shoulders and you held her in it, gripped her hard and tight and let her shake in your arms. You looked up into the eyes of Ray, who looked like he might throw up or pass out or both, and you pulled him down with you, wrapped him around her while he cried into her hairline, and you watched as the horses were led away.
‘Did you bring anything?’ someone asked from the crowd, quiet but hopeful, and you wanted to reach up and slap them for every moronic word they had dared speak into existence, had thought to utter in this sacred space of abject loss.
Marla never answered, and you squeezed her. She twisted in your arms to look up at you, an angry purple and yellow bruise forming having formed under her eye. You turned to Ray. ‘Help me get her to mine,’ you said.
--
You had the fire going, and you pushed your old armchair right up to it, folding Marla into it under a sea of blankets. Ray went to get something to bring her from the mess hall, something warming but easy to chew, and you perched beside her, slid down until her knees were in your lap and she was resting her head against the wing of the chair, and you stared, together, into the fire.
‘We barely made it back,’ she whispered, her voice dry, her lips chapped and windburned. You stayed still, not wanting to shake her, not wanting to do anything that might stop her from talking. ‘Rode through, all night. I wanted to bring him back, bring them all but I could only get him.’
‘Was it raiders?’ you asked, and she shook her head.
‘Both,’ she said, and you didn’t understand. ‘Raiders that had…kept a few clickers, had them locked up, had them uhhh…weaponised.’
You shuddered. ‘Like pets?’ you asked.
‘Like torture devices,’ she simply replied. You contemplated this for a second, couldn’t imagine it, the terror of being faced with that choice: raider or runner.
‘We got within a few hours of where we thought the pharmacy was,’ she went on, her voice catching. She continued to shake, her hands tremoring underneath the blanket, and you tried to tuck her in tighter, tried to warm her up. ‘We’d gone through a valley, ended up on the other side of a glade, it would have been so beautiful in the before times. We found a farmhouse, looked abandoned. Wasn’t.’
She was jiggling her foot and you put your hand out to hold it, feeling that her socks were wet. ‘By the time we realised they were already on us, were ready, had seen us coming.’
She looked at you, tears forming in her eyes. ‘They tried to lock us in the cage with them,’ she swallowed. ‘Jacob was really brave, fought them hard, stopped them from putting us in.’
If cold had gotten into her boots she must have been freezing, was risking losing a toe. You lifted the blankets to pull at her sock, putting your hand on her bare skin to warm it.
‘But one of them, two of them maybe, they got out,’ she continued. You held the ball of her foot in your hand, rubbing your thumb over the top of her foot in what you hoped were comforting little circles.
‘I just wanted to get him back here,’ she said, just as you felt it, a raised, rough ridge on her ankle, tendrils of heat snaking up her shin. You threw the blankets back, saw the bite there, the way the ropes of twisting fungus had already started their march up to her heart. You froze, your terrified eyes snapping to her wet, sorry, scared ones.
‘Don’t let Ray do it,’ she said.
--
It didn’t matter that you hadn’t been there before, you knew where it was. You wrapped on the door so hard you would later discover the skin on your knuckles had split. All you could hear was the ringing in your ears, your vision narrowed down to a pinprick, the look on Marla’s face so drawn, so scared, so resolute, imprinted on the inside of your eyelids. You kept wrapping, hopping from side to side, your tears mingling with the frigid air. You called for him on his front porch, your voice high and choking on the fear, on the grief in it.
He'd wrenched the door open, having pulled his boots on but not yet done up the laces, the furrow in his brow deep, his eyes wild when he clocked you, when he checked your six.
‘Jesus, are you? What is it?’ he spluttered, and you couldn’t let him finish, had to get the words out in case they poisoned you.
‘She’s bit, Joel,’ you spat out, watching his face fall.
‘Who, Ellie?’ he asked, panic rising in his voice, and you choked out a sob, shaking your head fiercely. He grabbed you by both shoulders, bending down to look you in the eye. You shook underneath him, wanted to launch yourself into his chest and bury yourself in it.
‘Marla,’ you said, shivering so hard your jaw was barely cooperating. ‘She came back bit.’
‘Where is she?’ he asked, and you told him. You’d locked her in your treatment room. She hadn’t turned yet, and you figured there was still an hour or two, maybe. The tremors you’d thought were the cold, shock.
‘Please, Joel,’ you said, and he was already heading back into the house to grab his rifle. Tears were streaming down your face now, your knees threatening to give. ‘Please be kind about it.’
He pulled you in, off his porch and into his living room. Set you down on the rug beside the fire.
‘I’ve got you,’ he said. ‘You stay here, you stay warm. You wait for me. You don’t come lookin’, you hear me?’
You nodded, and he shook his head at you. ‘Repeat it,’ he said.
‘I won’t come looking,’ you said, quiet and desperate like a child. He nodded, then, his rifle slung over his shoulder. You took a long breath in, felt the burn of it down your chest and into your lungs. Felt the electricity crackle between the two of you, arcing from his chest to yours through the air, let it fuel you for the next part.
--
The three of you had just left Chicago, two or so days into your trek towards Wyoming, to maybe find something better, to maybe find more of the same. Ray and Marla were ahead of you by about four paces, you deciding to hang back to let them chat. You could hear their murmurs, Ray’s giggle high and giddy when Marla made him laugh. You could imagine the two of them strolling down a sidewalk together, one hand holding their coffees with the other hand holding each other’s. You could see the golden light of the late afternoon in the trees, backlighting them as they chatted about their work, about their friends, about what movie they wanted to see on the weekend. You could imagine them going out for dinner of an evening, Marla resting her head on Ray’s shoulder as the sun set over the water, the two of them intertwined and suburban and blissfully, delightfully bored.
You were so lost in this reverie that you hadn’t realised they were talking to you until you nearly rammed into them, and you stopped to see them smiling, warmly at you.
‘You were a million miles away,’ Marla observed, and she reached out to pinch your arm.
‘Years,’ you said. ‘I was a million years away.’
--
 You sat with your legs folded underneath you on Joel’s floor, the fire warming your skin enough to remind you that you were alive. Your stomach ached, your chest burned, you rocked backwards and forwards and tucked your chin into your chest and sobbed, alternating between wiping your tears with the top of your shirt and just letting them fall onto the carpet.
You saw yourself as if you were floating outside your body, observed yourself get up on all fours and keen into the carpet, unleashing a wail unlike anything you’d ever heard. You thought, for a second, that this woman on the floor was unrecognisable, was barely human, scratching at the rug and trying to breathe through the sobs.
The night grew darker. The fire died down. You collapsed in on yourself, felt the last guide rope tethering you to the ground fail, and you slipped under, crouched on the floor with your forehead resting on your arms, your knees numb from the weight of pressing into the rug, your mind empty, time having stopped, the world having fallen off its axis. A small part of you observed in wonder at how much grief you could carry. A larger part, a wiser part, a part that had taken a back seat to let the banshee take the wheel for a while, knew that this was so much more than Marla. Knew that it was all of them, a ledger steeped in red.
In the darkness you became vaguely aware of footsteps, the sound of the fire being stoked, logs being added. Felt a blanket thrown over your shoulders, then warm hands on the small of your back guiding you, pulling you up and over to sit astride a warm body, a strong pair of legs. You wrapped your arms around him, clung to him like a koala to a Eucalypt, snuffled your tear-streaked face into his neck, into his shirt. He held you to him, a hand buried in your hair and cradling your skull in his palm, the other wrapped around your back, easing the fabric away and tucking under, to touch you, skin to skin. You heard whispers of words, mixed with your own sobs, your own gasps. He held you through all of it, on aching bones on the hard floor, until the crashing waves settled, until you finally washed ashore.
‘You don’t have a couch,’ you said, after a while, pulling your head up to observe the oddly sparse furniture arrangement. He snickered, leaning you back to brush the hair out of your eyes, away from your wet face.
You realised, after a moment, heat on your cheeks. ‘Oh,’ you said, simply. He gazed at you, watched you put two and two together, stood unshaken in all that he had sacrificed for you.
‘But where do you sit?’ you asked, and he nodded towards the old rocking chair he’d pulled in from the porch outside. You nodded your head, because it was perfect really, and because it made sense, and because you needed it to.
‘Is she gone?’ you asked, shifting on his lap to watch his face. He blinked slowly, nodded. You felt your face crumple, felt him tighten his hold on you. ‘Was it bad?’ you choked out, and he shook his head.
‘She was so brave,’ he said, gravelly voice just above a whisper. He reached out and cupped your face, wiped a tear away, held your gaze to him. ‘She was ready. She said when it was time.’
‘She didn’t…turn?’ you asked, clinging to his forearms now, letting him anchor you. He shook his head once more.
‘No, baby,’ he said, and you wanted to wrap yourself up in the sound of it, let it blanket you in warmth and quiet, burrow down into it and hibernate for the winter.
‘Thank you,’ you said, simply. He hummed in response, collecting a tear on his thumb and raising it to his lips, licking it clean. You gasped at the sight of it, his eyes never leaving yours, squirming on his lap, the sudden heat in your cunt catching you off guard. ‘Joel?’ you whispered, and he raised his eyebrows at you. ‘Are your legs numb?’ and he laughed then, because you had managed to surprise him, and after he caught his breath he sheepishly nodded. ‘Take me to bed, then,’ you said, climbing off him and extending a hand. You hauled him up, his knees creaking. For a moment the both of you stood, staring at each other in the light of the fire. You felt breathless with need for him, your head swimming, the sadness shifting just enough to let the heat in, the want. ‘Up the stairs,’ he told you. You slipped your hand into his paw.
--
Joel’s bedroom was sparse, the walnut oak bed pressed up against the wall, a stack of books on the floor beneath a bare lamp, a guitar in the corner. His scent was all over the sheets, all over the clothes strewn around the floor. You pressed yourself against him in the hope that you would absorb some of it into your cotton.
The moment you crossed the threshold his hands were on you, pulling your clothes from you like they had personally insulted him, shucking your jeans off your hips and pulling your panties down with them until you were bare, standing before him at the foot of his bed. He took a step back and you watched his face as his gaze devoured you, the heat of it so scorching that you could swear you could feel his fingers on you even standing three feet away. You trembled from the cold air and the intensity of it, and he saw in your face, read in you that you wanted to turn away from it, from the intimacy of it.
‘Don’t,’ he all but whispered, coming towards you and running his hands up on the outside of your arms. ‘Don’t be shy, not now,’ he said. He slipped a hand behind your back and his knees between yours, pushing you gently onto the bed behind you, laid his body over you and nipped at the skin behind your ear. You pulled at his flannel, trying to claw it from him without even unbuttoning it, groaning in frustration when the garment held fast. He snickered, his little lopsided grin, as he pulled it away.
You lifted yourself up on one arm, bringing the other to cradle him to you, licks and nibbles to his collar bone, to the patches of hair on his chin. His brought his hands to your breasts, pebbled the nipple with his fingers while he pushed and rolled them, squeezed them together just to watch them bounce. He was hard and heavy between your legs, still covered in his jeans, and you lifted shaking fingers to his belt buckle. He froze, a sharp intake of breath between his teeth, as he watched you. You faltered, worried for a second you had read it all wrong, that he was going to push you from him, that he had seen something in you, that you had revealed something wrong and gnarled.
‘Do you…should I?’ you stuttered, and he came to his senses again, his brow creasing when he saw you were floundering.
‘Oh, my sweet girl,’ he said, and you thought it would be kinder if he just set you on fire at that point, ‘darlin’ I was just awed for a second, that somethin’ as gorgeous as you would want a man like me. An old man like me.’
You felt the relief wash over you, your pulse quickening now but not from fear. ‘Seasoned,’ you grinned, bringing him back down to you, pulling him on top of you as his hands helped yours to free him, push his jeans over his hips. ‘Worn in,’ you went on, and he grinned at your little game. ‘Fine wine,’ you finished, and he snickered again.
‘Vinegar,’ he said, and you pushed his head down to your chest, fed him your breast, let him lave at your nipple while you gasped and clutched at his hair.
‘Experienced,’ you whimpered, and he huffed out a warm laugh into your breastbone. You wanted to unlock your ribs, swing them open like an ancient garden gate, and capture it there for safe keeping.
Free, now, the two of you naked and lying together on top of his blanket, the sheets rumpling underneath you as you rutted against each other. He reached a hand down to cup your sex, groaning when he felt how wet he had made you, how you were dripping for him. You gasped as he ran his fingers up and over your slit, gently teasing your lips apart, testing you, teasing you. You rolled your hips, trying to snare him, trying to slide him inside, but he worked against you, zigged when you zagged, and your frustrated little gasps delighted him.
‘Joel,’ you groaned, your voice tight across your chest, not enough air in your lungs to properly scold him. He ignored you, instead lifting his lips to his fingers and sampling a little taste. You watched him, eyes wide as his fell shut at the taste of you.
‘So sweet,’ he said, almost to himself, before he opened his eyes as if he just remembered you were there. ‘Here, baby,’ he said, and he fed yourself to you, his fingers sliding over your tongue as you suckled at them, his hot breath on your face as he watched you, pupils dark in the half-light of his lamp, sweat forming on his brow.
When you had sucked them clean he lowered them again, slipped them inside you, bending down to rest his ear on your mouth when you began to pant, to whimper.
‘Show me,’ he said, pulling your hand to your cunt and watching as you began slow, lazy circles around your clit. He furrowed his brow, pushed off you and down to watch properly, lifted a leg to prop you open, planting your foot on the mattress beneath you to open you wide and obscene in front of him. You blushed, moved to cover your face with your hands, but he stopped and caught you, brought your fingers back to your core before he slipped inside again. You raised your head to look at him beneath you and you realised he was learning you, studying your movements to replicate them later, letting you teach him how to touch you so that you’d never have to do it alone again.
Your first orgasm hit you hard. Under his careful, studious gaze you felt yourself unravel, your legs shaking where he held you open, his hand grasping at your ankle to keep you from slamming shut. So lost in the feeling of it, of the blooming heat expanding out and into your belly, of the undulations of your cunt around his fingers, that you barely noticed him slip his fingers from you and slide to the ground beside the bed, pushing your legs into your chest and holding them there, pressing you in half all the better to ease his tongue into your cunt and lick up your spend, kitten licks at your sensitive clit before plunging his tongue into your hole, breathing hard through his nose and groaning, uttering filth in the base of his throat as he devoured you, wrung your second orgasm from you in a matter of minutes, rolling from side to side and head thrown back, hands tangled in his hair as his mouth rode you, as he stayed with you up to your peak and then over it, savouring and lapping at your come, rutting into the side of the bed as he let your thighs down to rest on his shoulders, your breath ragged and rippling with pleasure, hands clutching to the blanket to steady himself, to catch his breath.
He gazed at you in repose, ran his eyes over your sopping cunt up to your heaving belly, to the curve of the underside of your breast, the nipples straining into the cold air, and then up to your face, your head thrown back as you came down, as you squirmed from the overstimulation still coursing through you, as you let your hands drop beside you, sated and glorious in his worship of you.
You swallowed, your mouth, lips, throat dry. With shaky hands you reached for him, grabbed at the air above his shoulders, felt him shift and rise up to meet you, felt his weight blanketing you as you came back to yourself. With one hand in your hair and the other tracing your cheek, your jaw, you opened your eyes to stare into his, the desire carved hard and deep into his features.
‘Take it,’ you whispered, watching as his bottom lip quivered with need. ‘Please, Joel.’
He shifted his weight to one arm, reached down between you as you lifted your legs to bracket his hips, crossing your feet at the ankles behind his back. You felt him guide his cock to the weeping maw of your cunt.
‘Please,’ you whispered again, as you felt him slip inside you, the burn and the stretch and the force of him, so hard and pulsing as he parted you. He dropped his head, sighing, and you planted your lips to his brow, whimpered at the weight of his cock inside you, at the weight of the two of you finally, finally joined.
‘She’s tight, baby,’ he said, his brow creasing. He moved his hips, shoving further into you in one shot, and you gasped, grabbed at his shoulders, brought his eyes back to yours. He paused, gazing into your eyes, read the trepidation in them. ‘S’ok baby,’ he cooed, leaning down to place a kiss on your cheekbone. ‘You can do it,’ he encouraged, and you felt the warmth of his reassurance radiate down your thighs. ‘We can take our time,’ he said, languidly pulling back from you before gently, achingly, taking his place again. ‘Got all night for ya,’ he said, and you realised he had started to ramble, and that under his hot breath, on top of his blanket in his sparse bedroom lit only by his bedside lamp, in the cold Jackson night where the snow dampened all the noise, all the loss, all the sharp edges down, you never wanted him to stop whispering his filthy encouragement to you, never wanted him to stop easing his way into you, to the core of you, marking you where only he belonged.
‘Doin’ so good for me,’ he went on, his eyes closing on their own, lost in the grip of your cunt around him, in the heat of you. Finally he was fully seated, the warmth of his belly coming to rest upon yours. He settled there, reluctant to move, until you squirmed underneath him, caged whimpers escaping your throat. He opened his eyes, his lopsided grin appearing above you, as he planted a kiss on your hairline, gazed down at you as you stretched around him. He brought his hand down to cup your jaw again, held you there under his stare, as he withdrew his hips and eased back in again, pushing deeper into you that you gasped when he bottomed out, his eyes never leaving yours as your mouth dropped open in surprise at the feeling he was pulling from you, at the need and the ache of your cunt spread so open and wanting for him, at the way he was so effortlessly taking you apart, so calmly and so warmly unravelling you.
‘Too good,’ you complained, your brow saddling and jaw clenching, as you felt your cunt grip and release, grip and release. He cooed at you, revelling in your whimpers, gasped as you did, shared in your breath, made you submit to the divinity he was pushing you towards. This was how your third orgasm found you.
Locked in his gaze you could only lie beneath him, holding him to you by the shoulders and groaning as he pistoned in and out, watching his eyes slam shut as he was dragged under, submitted to the pull, his come washing the fear and the stress and the grief out of you, replacing it only with scorching heat, with a kind of pleasure indistinguishable from a greedy, pernicious want, with something that, in another life, you could have shaped into love. 
--
You lay, entwined together, under his blanket. Your head on his chest, ear to his heartbeat, you felt your body rise and fall as he breathed underneath you. You hadn’t wanted the night to end, hadn’t wanted to close your eyes and wake to the aftermath. Together you lay and watched the sunrise. Occasionally Joel ran his fingers up and down your arm to let you know he was still there.
‘Joel?’ you whispered, and he hummed in response. You kept your head down, listening to his pulse quicken as you spoke. ‘Canna ask you something?’ you said, jaw resting on his ribs.
‘Uhhuh,’ he said, but his fingers were stopped now, frozen in place on your shoulder.
‘Before, when we were…’ you trailed off, because even though hours before he had been eyelevel with your swollen, puffy cunt, now suddenly talking about it felt too intimate. ‘Before,’ you started again, ‘you said you didn’t think I’d want a man like you.’
‘An old man,’ he corrected, and you smiled.
‘Seasoned,’ you corrected, and he groaned, theatrically. ‘But you said a man like you, then an old man like you,’ you reminded him. He wasn’t laughing anymore, and you could feel the temperature in the room drop. ‘What did you mean?’ you ploughed on, because you were in it now.
He thought for a moment, swallowing hard. You shifted in his arms, looked up at him, saw the flicker of panic there, before he reset his features in stone. You pulled away from him in surprise, not having seen that look directed at you in weeks, not since the first time he had appeared reticent and sore at your door. Your stomach dropped.
‘I gotta check on the horses,’ he said, rolling you out of the way and moving to get up. You sat up with him, grabbing at his arm.
‘Joel,’ you said, trying to pull him back towards you, but so easily overpowered. He rolled his shoulder, shaking you off.
‘The two that came back, they need to be checked over. Waited for first light.’
‘Joel, I don’t understand what’s happening.’ He was standing, pacing around the room pulling his clothes back together, gathering yours and dropping them on the end of the bed. He stared at you, expectant, but you refused to move.
‘What kind of man did you mean, Joel?’ you pressed him, and he scoffed, pulling his jeans on and hastily doing up his shirt. He missed a few buttons, and in that moment you didn’t feel like helping him.
‘You know exactly what kind of man,’ he said.
You saw Maria’s tense shoulders when he came into her kitchen, bleeding. You saw her sitting in your kitchen as you held her feet to your chest, explaining how Tommy was different, how he had only wanted to impress his big brother.
Sort of dressed, he was now pacing, the morning light turning his skin a ghostly pale, and you thought for a moment he was haunting you. ‘You know exactly,’ he repeated. ‘Same reason you came running to me the second your friend needed killin’.’
You flinched like he’d slapped you, would have preferred if he had.
‘What kind of man, Joel?’ you asked, and he looked at you, then, tortured for a second before he wiped it away with his hand on his face.
‘A fuckin killer,’ he said, quiet and deathly in the chill of the morning.
You stared at him, heart racing. You were surprised and you also weren’t. You knew what this world demanded of people, the toll you had all paid for survival.
‘Infected?’ you asked, and he sighed, frustrated.
‘Don’t be so fuckin’ naïve,’ he said.
You remembered you were naked, but this was the first time he had really made you feel it, and you held the blanket to your chest, tight.
He wouldn’t look at you, staring instead out the window as Jackson woke.
‘I ain’t a good man,’ he said, quietly, and you shook your head.
‘I don’t believe that,’ you said, and he sneered at you then, picked up your clothes and threw them at you.
‘You don’t know shit about me,’ he said, and then he was gone. You listened as his heavy footsteps stomped down the stairs, the pause as he pulled his boots on, the slam of the door.
Taglist:
@orcasoul
@archofimagine
@hiroikegawa
@ilovejoel-andjavi
@giggly-otter
@harrysrosetatto
@Hjzghi-blog
@daddy-dins-girl
@kathaaaaaaa
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Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine
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TW: little bit of nsfw, BDSM mention, angst
You shouldn’t be googling ‘how to tell a guy no in a nice way’ at the nurse’s station, but something has to be done. You thought after you left Julian’s place that there would be a mutual understanding of “this isn’t going to work out, we’re too incompatible”, but he didn’t seem to get that memo. 
The gifts just keep coming:
A pretty black silk dress in your exact size by Prada. Two crescent thin golden bangles for each wrist from Tiffany & Co that come in a robin’s egg blue box wrapped in a white satin ribbon. Upon close examination, you make out that they are subtly engraved in slanting script, JM. Really? His initials? You almost chuck them out the window just for that. 
An expensive lunch from the fancy bistro that you can never afford, though you would have preferred a gourmet sandwich to an artisan salad. 
A bouquet of fifty fucking red roses for Christ’s sake. They take up so much room at the nurse’s station that they’re a nuisance. They’re addressed to you, not signed—but you know exactly who they’re from. Then you have to field all the annoying questions about who’s your secret admirer? You hear Karen grumble that it must be that Officer Romeo and didn’t know cops got paid that good. 
If only they knew. It would serve Julian right, if you just ratted him out to everyone. 
This has to stop. 
“Julian?” 
He looks up from his mountain of paperwork. “Hey, look who it is. Are you feeling alright?” 
“I’m fine. How are you?” Yeah, great, egg this on a little bit more instead of getting to the point. When will you learn? 
“I’m spectacular,” he says. “I was wondering if you were alright because you called off for the first time yesterday?” 
Yeah, so I didn’t have to face you after receiving the expensive ass jewelry…
Your smile feels forced enough to induce a migraine, but at least it gives you an idea for an excuse. “Yeah, I had a really bad migraine.”
“Oh, that’s not good. Do you get them frequently?”
“Yes.” It’s not exactly a lie, although these migraines you’re admitting to are actually just mild caffeine withdrawal headaches when you don’t have enough time to drink your coffee. 
“Have you talked to your primary care provider about it?” He asks, standing up to flash his penlight in your eyes and dilate your pupils. He grips your chin and turns your head to check lateral eye movement, but you stop him. 
“Julian, I’m fine. I didn’t have a stroke.” 
“Don’t tell me you’re fine if you’re not fine,” he orders. “I can see there’s something wrong. You're pale and clammy.” He pulls out his big leather chair and guides you to sit in it. “Tell me what I can do to help.” 
You look up at him, at this kind eyed, two sided man, and can’t do it. You can’t tell him to stop sending you gifts or buying you food, because you don’t want to be an asshole and you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Your nerves die along with your resolve.
“There, see, you look like you’re feeling better already. I’ll go buy you some water.” 
“No, you don’t-“ he’s already gone halfway down the hall with those mile long legs. 
You decide to take all the expensive gifts and shove them in the bottom of your closet to avoid feeling guilty when looking at them. But that doesn’t change the fact that you still have to look at Dr. Mercer and endure his caring, golden retriever persona.
This is what happens when you lie to yourself. You swear off relationships, move to a different part of the country, and then decide to go on a date—idiot—and these are the consequences for it. You feel like you have absolutely betrayed that girl that packed up her whole life to come to LA for a fresh start, and you’re sure she’s not forgiving you this time. 
“No more,” you say to yourself, pushing the gift boxes to the back of the cobwebby closet. “No more dates, no more men. No more heartbreak. You stupid bitch. Yes, that includes Tom Ludlow. Shut up. I said. No. Tom. Ludlow.” 
You end up screaming into a pillow, then calling your sister. She doesn’t answer, which is typical—probably on the road or using again or even dead in a ditch for all you know.
“Hey, Aggie, it’s me, gimme a call.” You play the voicemail back and then decide to delete it and hang up. You’re not exactly on speaking terms, but that ebbs and flows from one year to the next, so you’re not sure what she’ll think or do when she sees your name on her phone screen. 
Your friend, Sheila, doesn’t answer either; she’s probably at work.
It sucks. You could really use some reassurance and comfort that you’re not alone or unwanted in this fucked up little world. Maybe that’s why you end up with your finger hovering over Tom Ludlow’s number while you sit on the floor of your bedroom. You stare at those digits for a long time, then tuck your phone away and cry. 
You only get a chance to dive a little bit into this self pity session before your phone rings from your pocket. It’s not Aggie, nor Sheila, but a number you’ve unintentionally memorized nonetheless. 
Now, you really have to fight with every piece of yourself not to answer Tom Ludlow. The lecture you just monologued becomes irrelevant next to the burning, awful fucking desire to hear him talk. You almost pick it up. Almost. 
Watching your phone ring and ring, his name emblazoned on the screen, without answering feels like cutting out your heart and crushing it under your heel.
It goes to voicemail, but he hangs up before leaving a message.
A part of you that you didn’t even know that you need dies.
Good. Good riddance. Your heart only gets you into huge fucking trouble anyway.
You wait for your inner strength to return over the days that go by afterwards. Tom continues to call. You keep declining to answer. For some reason, you feel worse and worse every time the phone ceases to ring.
Where is you fucking girl power now? 
All you really feel, is empty, and that is the vulnerable state Julian finds you in one late night at the nurses station.
“Y/n,” he greets you, leaning on the counter, looking down at you with a glimmer of something dangerous in his dark eyes. It’s a look he almost never lets out of the box while at the hospital, and suddenly your heart is in your throat.
“Doctor.”
For some reason this causes him to smile down at you, a slight curl of lips that unleashes a handful of fluttering butterflies in your belly. 
“I’ve been thinking about you.”
You recall the massive bouquet of pure white lilies he had sent to your door yesterday, and believe him. 
“Julian…”
He comes around the counter, smooth as a dark lake, reminding you of when he jumped over the couch and chased you like he was a wolf rather than a golden retriever. Your pussy gives a timid little throb at this, almost as if she’s asking for permission to come out after days of being punished, locked away in her gilded cage while you dealt with other, more pressing emotions, like the one that stabs you repeatedly in the chest while you let Tom Ludlow’s number go to voicemail. 
“I can’t stop-“ he clears his throat, chin up as if he’s trying not to be nervous, and brushes some wispy, rogue hair off your neck. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” You can tell by the black matte of his eyes he means more than just platonically. 
Every hair on your body stands at attention for that hungry, eat you alive look on the handsome Doctor’s face. Part of you, and it’s a bigger part than you’d like to admit, wants to have a gag stuffed down your throat and a tight slip knot holding it in place so that he can do whatever he wants without you ruining things with your fat mouth again. 
“We’re just. We’re really not—Fuck.” You slap your forehead into your hands, and he takes it out, ever so gently with a big, shiver-inducing palm at the back of your neck, gripped softly in your hair, not exactly pulling, but lifting your face up to look at him nonetheless. 
“Please, just hear me out.” It doesn’t sound like he’s used that first word very often—maybe not ever, or at least not for a very long time. Dr. Mercer’s picture is in the dictionary under the word ‘Polite’, but he practically runs this hospital, and with that responsibility comes a certain authoritative entitlement. 
“Julian, we’re at work.” You don’t know how he manages to get you on the desk without alerting anyone around. The way he can just lift you easy and gentle has a familiar desire bubbling hot in your hips, and you can’t decide if you’re glad that you chose to chart in a more secluded area of the floor tonight or not.
“I can’t help it.” It sounds like he’s honest about that, voice splintering and needy as he presses his hard torso between your soft thighs. “I know that I fucked up, but if I don’t get a second chance to at least try and rectify this…” He’s not usually a man that doesn’t know what he wants to say. 
This whole swearing off men thing? How is it supposed to fucking work if the men look and act like Julian? How are you supposed to do the whole proverbial keep it in your pants bit when a sexy, tall, beautiful doctor wants—desperately—to string you up to his bed and do horrible things to your body?
You can’t believe these words are coming out of your traitor's mouth as you bend under his will: “what kind of a second chance?”
He kisses you in response, long and slow, tongue slipping teasingly against the sensitive inner sanctum of your mouth. It leaves your toes curling, your chest rising quick and rapid, your white knuckles clutching the polished counter. He’s not exactly nice about it, pressing you back into the lip of the granite, holding the entire side of your face in his hard grip, turning your mouth red and swollen. 
You’re going to have to bleach wipe this desk after all of this is done, because the insistent need of his mouth is making your comfy cotton underwear damp and warm like a humid summer night back at home. 
“Let me take you to the club. Let me show you…let me help you understand.” 
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Isn’t that the fucking understatement of the century? It sounds like a terrible idea. But, you were the one that wanted to understand him better. “When?” 
The thrill seeker, she’ll never die. She needs blood, she’s thirsty, she doesn’t want a boring life of reading and watching the news. She wants to go to a BDSM club in Venice with a fine ass doctor and probably ruin your—her life in the process.
“When are you off next?” The grin on Julian’s face is all Mr. Hyde. 
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tulipsforvin · 21 hours
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OMGGGGGGG
I just remeber reading youre post about reader dying. The part with Louis hit HARD. While I can definitely see him and me as reader in that scenario, (dw I am fine– almost.LOL) I thought Albert would fit in this one soooo much better. (My opinion.... also Pre timeskip) OFCOURSE Louis fits in there GREATLY. AND I LOVE IT SOSOSOSOSO MUCH LIKE I LITERALLY CRIED BECAUSE IT WAS SO SAD AND BEAUTIFUL <333 ACTUALLY THANK YOU SOSOSO MUCH FOR SHOWING US ALL OF IT YOURE WRITING IS JUST– mhwa! <3 (⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠) (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥ AND I KNOW YOU HEAR THIS A LOT RECENTLY BUT HONESTLY??? YOU DESERVE TO BECAUSE..... YOU..JUST!?!?! SO GOOD WRITING ???? Anyways– eghm... So what I was going to explain right now was how, you mentioned in one of youre post, Albert as a Boyfriend and that he wouldnt like someone who cant keep Hygiene. So I thought that, imagen, reader falling into depression (for whatever reason) and stopped keeping themself clean because of the lack of energy. They stopped showering, brushing theyre teeth etc.. and he started to feel grossed out by them. Not by choice ofcourse. He really doesnt want to feel that way, he loves them with his whole heart and soul. But he cant stand this anymore. He dont want to kiss them or sleep next to them in bed. So he tries to do the right thing and breaks up. He explains to them how he still loves them but cant stay with them any longer if they can't even brush their teeth . He doesnt want to hurt them much more and hopes that they can find help and get better. only to see them 2 days later lying in a cuddle of their own blood. He tries to crush to them, regretting every decision he has made earlier– just like Louis in that one hc. He doesnt want them to die. To think that theyre gross, annoying, stupid, useless, anything but beautiful and extremely Important. But hes too late. Youre already dead. Or so he thought. Just for the doctor to tell him that they had immense luck and that its almost a mirracle how you survived. He's relieved and his knees give way beneath him. This burden and the pressure on his shoulders falls away, almost in tears he asks the worried doctor kneeling next to him if he can see you. You're awake but you try to turn around when you see his face only to be follow by a huge pain in youre body as you tried. He obviosly doesnt care and rushes to youre side. He feels really guilty and apolegises to you. You dont care, you tell him to go away and add ' You left because you felt uncomfortable by the lack of my hygien. That was okay. But dont come back to me and say you care when that was the reason you first left me.' He accepts this and goes home at first. But eventully comes back with flowers while youre asleep. He wants to show you he really did care and peels you some appels. When he held you in his arms, unconscious and bleeing like a dove shot by hunters, he realised how much he could have done to help you. He could have talked, and or showered with you. But instead he just choose to not face it. He won't make this mistake again. Even If you will hate HIM for the Rest of youre life. He will show how much he loves you till get sick of it and just forgive him. He doesnt ever wanna let go of youre Hand anymore. He has experinced the feeling of youre abscence once, and he surely would never want to expierince this another time. Because he's confident that he wouldnt live that over.
Hahaha sorry that was loooong. I would like to hear youre opinion. I Hope you Liked it!! ♥️♥️
WAT THE HELL THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA???
PLEASE DON'T EVEN FEEL REMOTELY WEIRD, BAD OR EMBARRASED ABOUT HOW LONG THIS IS BECAUSE THIS IS SO GOOD I'M GENUINELY SPEECHLESS. HOW IS THIS NOT A FIC YET?? THE POTENTIAL AND THE ANGST IT HAS WOWOOAOA
I can't even stop complimenting you honestly i absolutely love and am utterly and sincerely stunned at how you're able to incorporate two small things i said into creating this masterpiece of an idea??
believe me when i say i waited five minutes contemplating whether to even post this because i didn't want anyone to steal your idea. i'm being so for real right now if you don't want to turn this beautiful plot of an idea into writing yourself for some reason because if it was me i'd trademark this and stamp anything that states my ownership of a plot so delicious (since again, this is so good and has sm potential) then please, please let me at least attempt and and try giving this amazing, almost an artwork plot life someday. not sure if i would even do it justice bro damn but like you'll totally get the credits WOWOAOA. i can't even stop with the compliments because i'm genuinely baffled at how absolutely golden this idea is. god damn. LIKE OKAY SHAKESPEARE.
ANYWAY ARGH LMAOAOA don't mind me fanning over you and this.. i don't even have words left to describe just how good this plot/idea is but YEAH but this is genuinely so good. i'm somehow going back to babbling about how wonderful this is and i don't think I'll be able to stop if I don't end this here because holy shit the potential it carries is astounding and me personally, i love angst so this is.. FUCKKC I CAN'T STOP SAYING HOW GOOD THIS IS. LET ME END THIS HERE FOR REAL NOW — THANK YOU FOR YOUR WORDS + THE NEVERENDING SUPPORT LOL IM GRATEFUL YOU LIKE MY WRITING <33 I HOOE UOU HAVE THE BESY DAY OF UOUR LIFE
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swbbb6 · 2 days
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Who wants some overtly angsty headcanons for no reason at all?
A while ago, I was wondering aloud how/when Crosshair found out about Tech. At the time, I was content with the idea that it was probably Omega (maybe even Hunter) who broke the news to him. At the time, I really thought it seemed the most likely option. But now I’m not so sure. I finally mustered up the emotional energy to rewatch the end of S2 and into S3, and y’all. I came to a horrifying conclusion: I’m pretty sure it was Hemlock who told him.
What brought me to this conclusion, was the scene in which Omega and Crosshair pass by each other in the hallway (S3E1). The look on Crosshair’s face. He’s broken, sure, but more than that, he looks grief stricken. This was still very early on in Omega’s time there - she gasped when she saw him. So I don’t know how much conversation they could have had up until that point.
But I do know Hemlock would’ve had all the time in the world to visit his ol’ pal Cross, and offer condolences on the loss of his brother, Tech. But it’s not all bad news; thanks to Crosshair’s efforts, they were finally able to secure that elusive“asset” once and for all. “The empire thanks you for your service.”
Now, if you’re thinking “too dark!” you would be correct. This is still supposed to be a kids show (ha!) But I don’t think it’s “too dark” for Hemlock.
Royce Hemlock is brilliant and extremely thorough. He knows what he’s got: a former spec ops sharpshooter, who has also proven to be too strong/stubborn/defective for the CX program. And now there’s another one. One who has been trained/raised by Crosshair’s own team. Not to mention, by that point, Hemlock had already seen firsthand just how paternal and loyal the clones are. If those two were to team up, they could actually pose a real threat. Hemlock is smug, but I don’t think he’s arrogant enough to risk it. I think the only way he would ever “allow” Omega and Crosshair to see each other, is if he was confident that he had thoroughly killed any hope Crosshair might have had of trying to escape again. And what better way to do that than by planting the most haunting thought of all: “I wonder who you’ll lose the next time you try something stupid?”
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whumping-valentine · 3 days
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Content: Captivity, conditioned whumpee
I wrote this like a year ago back when I first found out about whump and was experimenting with dynamics. Thought I'd make some edits and post it because why not.
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Whumpee was sat in the grass, smiling as the warmth engulfed them. Cool wind was blowing through the leaves of the trees and the strands of their hair, light rain falling against their face like tiny kisses. Birds were singing, chirping and chattering all around as they searched for worms to feed their young. The outside world was so free and open, and Whumpee was grateful to even get a gaze upon it, let alone sit among it.
They looked up at Whumper with wide, grateful eyes, "Thank you for taking me outside." They said sincerely.
"Well, you've been good, haven't you?"
Whumpee wasn't sure what the right response was, "I am not sure, have I?"
"You tell me, what do you think?" Whumper said, crossing their arms as they did a small roll of their eyes, "Why else would you be outside? Yes, of course you've been good."
"Oh— I'm sorry, I didn't—"
"Yeah, yeah. Just because you're apparently stupid doesn't mean you're bad. Enjoy this privilege."
"I will, I'll enjoy it."
"Good for you." They said, uncaring. "I'm going to run inside real quick, and you're going to stay right here until I get back, okay?"
"Yes Sir/Ma'am." (???)
"Good."
As they walked away they turned their head and continued smiling, feeling grateful for the opportunity to be outside. Though now left alone, a terrible realization struck. The smile vanished from their face as they sunk their nails into the dirt.
What am I thinking?! Being outside is a privilege? It's not a privilege! I should be allowed go outside whenever I want! And explore the woods alone! And make my own food, in my own kitchen, whenever I want! Those aren't privileges!
A hit had been taking to their pride as they realized how conditioned they became. It had happened so slowly they couldn't even see what was happening right in front of them. They were blind to it.
All of this niceness isn't because Whumper actually likes or cares for them, it's just so they'll be good and obedient and not cause them any trouble! It's manipulation! How could they be so stupid?! So conditioned?! They were smarter than this, smarter than to fall for manipulation, and yet they still did.
This monster had them doing all these things just to have the privilege to what, eat? Go outside? Not be tortured?!
If they had any sense of dignity left, they would stand up and take off right now. They were alone, they were outside, they were... not free.
It didn't matter if Whumper gave them a key to the outside world and a map to get home. It didn't matter if they opened the door and let them go. Hell, if they told them to go. It didn't even matter if they dropped them off right back in their old bedroom, because they'd still come crawling back to Whumper.
Physical freedom means nothing if your mind is held under lock and key.
And it's just what Whumper wanted.
They've got them.
"Look at you." Whumper cooed as they returned, "Still here. I knew you were too good to run off. I'm so proud of you."
Whumpee felt defeated, and Whumper could see it in their eyes, which just made their next words all the more satisfying to hear
"Why would I go... when I have everything I need right here?"
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Acting The Part
I was a film student, that means I had to play a lot of roles. Mostly, however, I remained the one behind the cameras. Why? Well it was simply because I was pretty humble... in my own words, others would call me shy and reserved.
I had a project coming up, a final film for the semester. Had to be within the genre we were working for an unfortunately for me that was romance. I was not good with romance, obviously of course. I was shy. So... that was why I partnered up with a few buddies, Chris, Tony, Danielle, and Skylar. It was an optional group project due to how big it was. Unfortunately one guy who was left out was Brian. A total douche, called himself a sigma and everything. Totally full of himself.
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Saw himself being the star too, always was in the movies... although with his ripped abs, jawline, and general physique... it was obvious why he thought he would be in the group... so we started scripting. It went well at first, that was until Brian started butting in. Asked if his girlfriend could be the love interest. This was supposed to be a group project and so we said no, Danielle would be covering that part. He whined about it until Skylar came up to me to ask something. "Do we need Brian here?" He asked softly, so he didn't actually hear. He was off arguing with Tony again, Go figure.
"Well... I did have an idea..." I admitted. Of course this idea was also a bit rude. We would simply do the script without him. Meetup some times, make excuses. It worked for a while until he started to get suspicious. He was stupid but he wasn't that stupid.
About a week into scripting, everything was coming out well. We almost had it done and we even had a role for Brian! Now we weren't going to tell him until the day of, and seeing how he needed this for a good grade... he'd have to go along with it. Well that was what I thought until he stopped me on the way to a class. "Hey [Y/N], how's it hangin." He put his hand beside my head as I leaned against the wall. He asked a simple question, quite friendly too... if it wasn't for his threatening tone. "Been a while, started to think my film partner died. That would have been bad." He chuckled and let up a bit. "Why don't we talk about the script for a bit. "I uh..." I tried to speak up but he put his hand on my back as he walked me away from the class I had next.
"You say somethin? No? Okay well good, we're goin someplace nice and comfortable." He started to walk me out of the building and through the campus. Some people stared at us, I mean a star football player and some film student would draw some eyes. Eventually we got to the bleachers of the football stadium. It was super empty and due to Brian having a part time job cleaning the place he had keys.
We sat down on some metal bleachers near the announcer's box and he had me get out my laptop. "So, run me through the script. Last I heard I was going to be the star?" He smirked a bit. This would be hard to break.
"Well uh... I'll just uh... we made some changes but everything's still very flexible!" I tried to assure him. I started at where it would begin, a nerd getting bullied. The bully was played by... Brian. he wasn't too happy but was willing to hear me out. Then I went through the story slower, more cautiously to not offend the giant oaf. Stuff about the nerds banding together... having a fun time and ultimately the nerd getting the nerdy chick. Danielle was supposed to play the nerdy girl, Skylar wanted to be the main character. I would be the camera man and director. Brian looked annoyed. "So... this sucks."
"Wait what? What about it sucks? Is it just because you're not the main star? You know what'd be weird." I tried to fight back. It was partially my script.
"Lemme guess, your buddy Skylar wrote a lot of it." I looked down and did have to agree... so I nodded, Skylar was a great writer though! "Look man, I know you don't like being in front of the camera and stuff but this might be your last little movie, why not have fun with it? How is this fair to you at all?" Wait was Brian sticking up for me?
"I uh... I guess it's not... But I don't really like being the star." I looked at the bigger guy who was now being oddly nice.
He sighed. "Yeah, and I'm not sayin you have to be. I mean you gave me a pretty raw deal." Brian looked oddly sad.
I was always the one to make peace... god damn it... would I really do this? I had to... "Well uh... what would you propose to change that stuff?" I asked, nervous to what he would propose.
"Well, here's my idea. We swap some roles around. Make it better for all of us. Skylar can run the camera this time, he always gets to be in front of it." I nodded, Skylar could be a competent camera man... "Glad you agree, then I can take his role as a nerd and you can be the rival... hell maybe you can get your own babe out of it."
"Wait, what?" I looked at the big guy confused. Him? The nerd? No way. And me as the rival? How the hell would I do that? "I don't think that'll work. I mean we should cast for what we're good at and..."
Brian cut me off, "Yeah and I'm pretty nice, right?" I looked at him, he was looking me right in the eyes. I nodded, not wanting to be rude. "Exactly! So I should be given the chance to play a fun nice guy!" His smile was reassuring but I still had issues.
"Yeah but I really don't think people will buy me as a douchebag..." I sighed and scratched my head. It was true. I was smaller, weaker, and dorky as hell.
"Well, sure, right now you don't but trust me! I got some ideas that can help you! But it's what someone would call... method acting. Probably heard of it."
"That sounds like a dumb idea, I'll be honest. I mean... that'll just get me bullied.... more than usual at least." I sighed, feeling like this was going nowhere.
"Nah, trust me bro. I mean if you stick with me I'll vouch."
"But I barely have any classes with you aside from film related ones." I looked a bit confused. How would that work.
"Well here's the deal. I can talk to my professors, tell them you wanna do some stuff and I'm sure with a little flexing of my status... we can get you in for the few more weeks or months we have left of class this semester. It's not gonna be much, mister straight As." He was going to do that for me?
"I guess... I could see how this goes... I could use a break before my other finals..." I chuckled a bit nervously, which made him pat my back, almost flinging me out of my seat.
"There we go! Here's my phone number and..." He grabbed my phone and put his number and contacts in, "We should be good to go, send me a link to the script btw! Gotta work on that thing!
That night I sent him the link, and felt oddly nervous about this. I mean... it was like starting a whole new life! I hadn't been in front of the cameras in a while so that would be nerve racking too! Brian's advice was to "Not think about it." Seemed he could go his whole life without thinking about much.
The next day we spent working out, and working on attitude. His girlfriend Tori came over during some of it and Brian said it would be a great time to practice confidence. I didn't nail it. He had a good laugh though and she took it in stride. Overall a good Saturday.
The day after that we worked on some more muscle, while also just hanging out again... this time some of his douchey friends came over. He was saying this was both confidence and some experience training. Like being in job training. Eventually I somewhat grew accustomed to them. They all were charismatic and handsome too. I felt oddly at home near some of them, hell I even threw some insults back at them when they came my way. I wasn't great at it yet.
Day three of this shit and I was now walking around with Brian and his little group. Seemed most of them had the same classes. I got stopped in the hall though by a classmate. He tried to direct me to class but... as per a whispered instruction... I mocked him and his shit haircut. After classes we worked out, seemed like this was something I had to do... Brian and Tanner, one of Brian's friends who was more in on it, said this was to make me not sound like a dork when referencing sports and shit. Good reason...
My the next week I was already feeling the burn. Skylar and the others were a bit pissed at me for blowing off our group meetings for hangouts with Brian and his crew. I told him I was method acting and he should get off my case. Well he didn't take it too well. "Well maybe you should stop being in our fucking shit if you like Brian that much!" That was a bad insult.
I yelled back. "Well, maybe if you didn't try to hog the limelight all the time I wouldn't be doing this shit!" It kind of just came out of me. For some reason... Skylar looked a bit... weaker and smaller than me. "Besides, not like you could even carry a movie with that fuckin acne." I may have went too far, he looked pissed and I felt awful. He stormed off leaving me alone...
I had a party that night, at the frat. Brian noticed me looking down the entire time. Came to comfort me. "Bro, trust me. He deserved it. I mean he's always been pushing you back and the moment you try and get out there and have fun he tries to put you back down? Not cool, you know that."
"Yeah but... I don't wanna fuck shit up with my friends and all that." I said with a red solocup in my hand.
"Well... maybe you're better off without them. I mean the only one I see potential in is maybe Danielle." I nodded.
"Yeah, Tony is a nobody, Skylar is a pussy... And I was both. Still feel bad for Danielle." I had a crush on her before.
"Well don't go around pussyfooting. I'm sure we can change the script and as her to method act too! I mean how much fun has it been for you, Oliver."
"Oliver?" I laughed and looked at Brian, "Why'd you call me that?"
"Oh! Well I had an idea. Just a small one. I mean why not go by your character's name? You are supposed to be method acting!"
"Yeah... Oliver... that... works well." I smiled. I mean I did look like an Oliver now... or at least the character! I didn't know how but in retrospect god my body was wimpy. Now I looked fire as hell!
The next few days would be painfully awkward. Skylar would try and salvage the script, much to the annoyance of Brian and I. There were two sides clashing and I knew which one sounded better, Skylar was just doing this for himself. Eventually Brian and I started a secret document, included Danielle in there too. Got them over Discord on a call to talk about the newer idea. By now we had enough of the nice guy act. Brian thought it was way too soft... he pitched the new idea. "Why don't we, instead of doing whatever that little soy boy wants, do our own thing. Like... Why don't we do something where the bullies got some character."
Danielle was hesitant. "Well what about the others? And what would my role be?"
I had an answer already. "Well we need a camera man and Tony, by far, is the best of Skylar and him. I mean I could do it but I've worked pretty hard."
"[Y/N]..." Danielle sighed, She was getting tired of this.
"Dani, it's Oliver or Ollie. I'm taking it pretty serious as you can see." I smiled. into the webcam which I never used before... hell my whole profile changed. Near daily pics of me were my banner and icon instead of some anime boy.
Brian nodded a bit. "So, we want you in this film too Dani, you're a great actress but we want you to practice your new role. You'll be Ollie's bitchy GF, like a mean girl kinda thing."
"But that isn't...." She got cut off by me again.
"Look, Dani... I know it ain't your style but this isn't mine either. To be a star you have to make sacrifices, and playing the part is the thing. I already asked and Tori can help you get into role. And hey, we can hang more if you do... I mean if you want my place is pretty open." It was an invite to fuck. By now I was still a virgin, even if Brian tried to change that many times.
"Okay..." She finally agreed. Thank god this was getting annoying.
Eventually we got our crew together. Some guys from the soccer team for scrawnier nerds, some guys from Brian's crew to be our friends and... Danielle was coming along fine. My type had shifted a bit, especially now that I could have options... they were molding her real nicely.
Skylar soon got wind of our plan but by now it was too late to stop. I was getting ready for the first day of filming. I had my body in peak performance, all done up by one of Tori's friends. And he came over to yell at me. Not congratulate me. By this point I just had Alex, one of Brian and I's friends walk him off the little set we staged. Students would be happy to actually get in this film. I mean we were big stars around campus and we knew it.
People loved how I changed. I became a star. I mean... with my now blonde hair, scuffy facial hair, ripped abs, giant body... who wouldn't. Brian helped me realize something. I was made to be in front of the cameras. I was made to be a star. Danielle would realize that in time too.
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As for the filming... it went spectacular. We all got great grades, hell... we started helping Tony out with getting better himself! I mean... we'd need it if we wanted to make more of these. It was a fun parody film... even if it was meant to be serious. The audience didn't get it but whateves. Wasn't my problem. I just didn't have to think too hard about it.
Within months I asked out Danielle, she said yes... of course. We became a new power couple. I urged her to join a sports team like I was doing. I started football like Brian. We did well as a team... also started power lifting and by god I was great! Danielle did gymnastics and by god was she flexible. Eventually I had my name changed. I was welcomed into Brian's family pretty easily too... so I adopted his last name. We were the Greene brothers.... started small with acting and sports but soon, through some modeling and commercials... we started getting big.
As for Skylar... who knows what became of that no name wannabe. He didn't take his shot. Maybe if he was more eager he could have ended up as a male model like Tony. Eh, not my problem. I just played my part and helped everyone around me. That's what being a star is for... you play your part and you like it... And I love it.
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queenofmistresses · 2 days
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subby velvette… she’s getting ready, or trying to, and gets really frustrated n just hates everything she tries on until she’s crying and worked up so reader comforts her and coddles her… then absolutely brutally fucks the thoughts out of her head til she’s dumb and ditzy n no longer caring about her outfit please please please n lots of dumbification cause it’s cute <333
Late night writing with no previous thoughts about it? Would you have it any other way babes? Hope you like it 😚 i tried to be mean but it’s not my strength
A/n everything they do has previous been established as okay in the relationship and everything is completely consensual. That being said- warnings: dumbification, reader slaps velvette, umm that’s all I can really think of. Not proofread!
Watching Velvette do this incessant routine every morning was honestly exhausting. Every morning she spends an hour deciding what to wear and always thinks she looks awful in all of them. She doesn’t. She looks fucking hot in all of them. And then eventually she settles on something and gets on with her work.
For some reason though, it seems to be taking a lot longer to get to that last step than usual. Her entire wardrobe is on the floor, and that’s impressive considering the size of her wardrobe. I watch her rip the last dress off and collapse on the floor as choked sobs suddenly come out of her.
I sigh and walk over to her softly, sitting on the floor next to her and pulling her onto my lap with ease. Her entire body curls into me, like she wants to be as close as she possibly can. I hold her close by the waist and stroke her hair with my other hand, letting her sob into my shoulder. It’s unusual for Vel to break down like this, this has obviously been building up for a while, with all of the stress Vox has been causing with Alastor back and Val being his usual dick self I can’t say I’m that surprised.
“Why do I look so fucking awful in everything I wear?” As she says it I realise exactly what she needs to get over this. I tug on her hair slightly, getting her to sit back slightly to look at me.
“You want my complete honesty here sweetheart?” I ask as kindly as I can. Seeing her stare up at me and nod, I smile. “You don’t look awful, you look gorgeous. But you have too much going on right now, and you’re far too dumb to handle all of it! So your stupid little brain is telling you that you look bad to try and avoid leaving to do your work.” Yes some of that is bullshit, she’s a fucking genius, but where’s the fun in that? I much prefer her dumb and stupid for me.
She sniffs and then blinks, the crying seems to have taken it out of her a bit. “You think?” She asks, and there’s an almost innocence in the way she does and it only spurs me on further.
“I know.” I correct, “You do a great job of pretending to be smart but we both know it’s not the truth. You can’t function on your own, I mean look at you! You can’t even get dressed without needing me to dry your tears.” I stroke her cheek gently before holding her chin to make sure she’s looking at me. “Quite frankly it’s pathetic how much you need me, fucking co-dependent. You’re lucky I’m so good to you.”
Apparently I made the right call, because the next thing I know she’s sat up and straddling me, her arms wrapped around my shoulders with an excited look on her face. “Uh huh you’re right mommy, I need you so fucking bad-”
I press my thumb against her lip, effectively shutting her up, and she opens her mouth, letting my thumb press against her tongue as she sucks on it. “Uh uh,” I chastise, “No more swearing for you.” She nods frantically as I press my thumb further into her mouth, watching as she practically drools over it.
I slowly pull my thumb out letting her talk again- though she doesn’t seem too pleased at the lack of something in her mouth. “Please mommy, I want you to take care of me please, I can’t do it anymore. Just want to let you take over.”
I know that a part of her actually means it, it’s not just an in the moment thing for her anymore, she really can’t handle it for much longer. And if what she wants is for me to take over her life for her, then I’m more than happy to, but that’s a discussion for another time.
“Don’t you worry my little princess, mommy’s gonna take care of everything from now on. All you need to worry about is being dumb and pretty, and letting mommy use you, okay?” She nods again, “Words baby.”
“Yes mommy, please.” She’s grinding on my lap now, her beautiful tits bouncing in my face from where she’s just wearing a bra and panties. It’s such a pretty sight, but it can only get better. I reach behind her with one hand and unclasp her bra, pulling it off her and watching her tits bounce even more. She lets out a sigh and just grinds against me even more, I know it won’t be long until she gets tired of this and needs me to take over, but it’s so pretty I let her keep trying to get herself off on me.
When I feel her slowing down, I stand up and take her with me, her legs quickly wrapping around me as she stops moving, “I didn’t say you could stop.” I look at her, raising my eyebrows as I can practically see her cheeks heat up as she nods and attempts to keep grinding against me. I can tell how humiliating it must be, especially as I can see her struggling, but I can also see how much she’s enjoying being humiliated like this. I carry her to the bedroom and lie her down on the bed, but she stays gripping onto me, desperately trying to get off on me. It’s cute. I pull her off me despite her whines of protest and begin to strip down, and get my strap on. She stops complaining once she sees that.
“You’re such a fucking whore princess aren’t you?” I tease as I bring myself onto the bed and play with her nipples, making her moan as she nods just barely. “Enjoying me telling you how fucking stupid you are? I know how much you love it when mommy takes control but this is pitiful. You’re such a needy bitch.” She practically groans at this.
I lie her down beneath me, pressing a hard kiss against her lips before trailing down to her neck. I slowly bring my hand down her body, making sure to pay attention to every part of her before my hand reaches her core. I slowly start teasing her clit, letting her close her eyes as her head leans back against the mattress, and I start to go faster.
She’s so needy it doesn’t take long to bring her close to the edge. “You better fucking ask before you cum you slut.” I practically spit at her, slowing down my assault on her swollen clit.
“Please, mommy please.” She tries but I don’t let her get away with it.
I slap her, not hard enough to leave anything permanent but the bright mark on her face is definitely hot. “That was pathetic, you ask properly or I leave you here to deal with yourself alone, is that what you want bitch?”
She starts to shake her head but quickly catches herself, “No mommy I-I don’t.” She swallows, “Please can I cum mommy? Please?” When I don’t immediately respond she quickly starts begging more, “Please mommy I’ll do anything, just wanna cum please, I’ve been so good.”
“Aw I suppose you have, haven’t you?” I rub my fingers faster against her clit watch her lose all trail of thought as she gets to the brink again and just as I can see she’s about to topple over I stop completely. “But I want you to cum on my cock baby.”
She pleads in desperation, a series of ‘please mommy’ and ‘was so close mommy’ chants leaving her pretty mouth. As she keeps talking I slide in 2 of my fingers to her mouth and watch as she starts to suck on them dutifully without a thought. I could watch that show for a very long time, but I’m in the middle of something.
I grab the lube from our side table and lather it on, making sure she won’t get actually hurt. Then I line my cock up with her pretty hole, watching it clench around nothing before I push myself inside with ease. Once I’ve given her a moment to get used to it, I pull out almost completely and slam back into her as she groans against my fingers.
As I set a fast rhythm in and out of her, I keep reminding her just how much of a slut she looks like, just how pathetic it is that she lets me do this to her.
This time when she gets to the edge I do let her cum, and fuck does she cum. When I pull out her legs are shaking and she looks so spaced out that I’d be surprised if she could form a sentence.
I clean her up with a towel and smile as she giggles at the feeling, then I lie down next to her and pull her into me, covering us in blankets and pressing a kiss to her as she dozes off
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Fantasies, Reality and Desire
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Michael Gavey x fem!reader
warning : masturbation (m), drugs/alcohol, obsession, stalking, no use of Y/n, Michael is a creep (kind of incel but not really)
Summary : Fantasies of a fellow student he couldn't get rid of and didn't want to, the reality that he's a loser and she's one of the richest you can be and the desire he desired her but did she desire him? In the end, what was the truth that Michael saw and what was the bitter reality?
Info : After a long time something for Michael the sweet even if I initially had something shorter in mind it came here to much fun reading ;)
cover from me
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Fantasies can be many things Fantasies that you will graduate with an impeccable grade point average and perhaps be the best in your class. Fantasies can be about the future, a good job with lots of money, maybe lots of friends…but most of all, fantasies can make you see the world as more beautiful than it actually is.
Above all, fantasies were also there for when thoughts, stress and life become too much. If you were a loser, a misunderstood genius who was the best at maths in any subject and outperformed even the professor who was teaching him at the time.
The bespectacled man whose blue-green eyes looked at the maths book on the desk in front of him knew that most of his ‘students' minds were not on him, he knew he was wasting his time on these stupid ones but it was just too tempting, at least in his mind, to be above them when he was teaching them and could give each one a bad mark in turn because they didn't get it anyway.
But when he looked up again, he saw her, the girl of his fantasies, the fellow classmate who always looked at him and smiled at him.
She wanted to tell him something like, I'm watching you, please go on for me Michael he could almost hear her voice and he always smiled back a slight almost mischievous nervous smile and pushed up his glasses.
He always gave her a better grade he studied her handwriting felt the paper between his hands and from the way she smiled cutely, her pretty eyes looking at him and her elegant handwriting she was everything to him in this class.
Above all, he remembered a moment it was the week before the first important exams everyone was still trying to get into his head, cheat or bribe but his angel came to him.
She came to him after class and sat down on his table, her gaze showing no disgust and he felt himself cringe when her body was so close. He had always just watched her or seen her and had only ever met her by chance at parties, in the bar or in the library.
She had always been nice to him. Once she had even ordered him a shot that night in the bar and he had wanted to thank her for everything, but in reality he had only managed a stuttered, ,,T-Thank you".
But when she sat in front of him, her skirt pushed up even higher and the black fabric of her knee-high socks clung to her soft thighs, the tasks he was supposed to go through with her seemed completely uninteresting.
It was the day of the afternoon that had burnt itself into his brain when he first felt her against him, her ,,Thank you Michael, you're the best" made him blush and he froze when he suddenly felt her arms around him.
The sweet earthy smell of her perfume that he knew embarrassingly stood in his nightcap he knew exactly what he was doing was wrong that he was truly a loser who had a chance in his imagination.
But this fantasy that she liked him mingled with the reality of feeling her body on him for a moment only to stand there like a pathetic outsider, almost unworthy of her but she was everything.
,,You should come to my party this Saturday to relax after the exam," these words were still echoing in his head as he made his way back to his room in the late afternoon, having thought about going to the party all week. Oliver wouldn't be there, it was the first weekend of the holidays and it was the party before everyone went back to their homes.
Whereas home was more of a millionaire mansion and Michael was studying here as usual and looking around the city a bit…maybe he would finally dare to go to the red districts…maybe it was better to face the reality that he would never lose his virginity to his dream girl.
My angel…she doesn't pay me any attention when I pretend and yet…she's just so kind he thought to himself and had to think back to the moment of the hug he knew in reality it was just a gesture but his emotions, his fantasies, this hope in his sick heart, his mind that wouldn't let him rest twisted everything.
Every look was for him, the smile was for him when she crossed her legs a moment too long and he could only catch a glimpse of her underwear but it was for him, the hug as her breasts pressed against his torso.
It was the same thoughts that haunted him when he saw her on his bed, the tingling in his groin increasing as he closed the door and drew the curtains, almost paranoid, but this fantasy mixed with the reality that he was kinky and his desire for her made him want to do his thing in secret.
His room almost became a place of shame, she would come here and smell her perfume, see her lost top after swimming in his drawer next to the photos. Photos he had taken since the first day, photos in all positions and photos that were on his mobile phone, photos that he had pulled from his laptop.
Videos he had taken with his own laptop camera, it was easy for a genius like him to hack them. Another disgusting thing and yet what could he do? when he had lost himself to her with everything.
His fantasies were with her, his harsh reality was with her and his desire was for her. Was it his fault if he desired her when she smiled at him so kindly and was so pretty that it came to such a thing again?
He had to reach for those pervy recordings, his glasses slipped down slightly and it only took his own shame to feel the tug in his groin and the tightness of his boxers as his body began to react to the video faster than he would have liked.
It was harmless, just showing her coming back in the evening he looked at her unifomr again and went to her thighs and wished he could cuddle her in front of him and just wanted to touch her.
,,You must be so soft," he murmured, feeling himself swallow hard, his hand moving over his centre a few times, stroking his hardness lightly, and he shuddered, imagining his imagination showing him slowly removing her clothes.
The buttons of her shirt which sometimes showed him her bra through the bright white, how the dark fabric of her bra hid her breasts and on cold days he could see how she tried to cover her slightly hard nipples with her arms.
,,Wonderful," he whispered as he saw her slip the shirt off and his fingers wander over her torso, grazing her soft smooth skin and kissing any birthmarks, scars and stretch marks if she would let him.
She was a goddess, her body was everything and he would give anything to disappear between her thighs, to put his lips on hers and finally have her listen to him, a muffled moan escaping him as his thumb ran over the tip of his thigh, a twitch going through his hips and he wanted more of the pleasure.
He got out of his trousers and underwear, unbuttoned his red shirt as the room slowly became too warm and his glasses slipped slightly as he lay down on his bed, his eyes showing remorse as he reached for his bedside cabinet.
,,If only I were with you,’ he murmured, looking up from the video that was still playing and she had taken off her bra by now, he let out a pathetic whimper as his movements quickened and he saw her breasts in the dimmed light and felt the urge to touch them.
Letting his fingers massage the soft flesh Are you sensitive? Threw me for sure he thought to himself the hint of a smile which was followed by another grunt and moan as his fingers ran over the sensitive tip again he turned on his side and held the phone closer in front of him.
Watching her elegant fingers run over her body, looking at her breasts, he saw her say something he wished she wanted him to say, but that wasn't the reality.
Running his tongue over his dry lips he wished he could kiss her, taste her as she slipped out of her skirt and he saw the light-coloured panties with the lace he also knew.
When she played tennis in sports with her friends, he was always there at the window with a camera, behind a wall with binoculars, or on the court with his tasks and his eyes.
He took in everything he got from her and the image that presented itself to him, his hips moving rhythmically towards his hand. He knew the video would only go on for a few minutes while he looked at her body and she would change her clothes, but it was also a moment worth savouring.
Another twitch of his cock as she sat down on the bed and he could almost look at her centre, if only the fabric hadn't blown...if he hadn't been such a disgusting pervert it wouldn't make him so lustful.
So he gripped the mobile phone even tighter, held the top he had taken sprayed with perfume to his nose and greedily took in her scent, closed his eyes, gave in to his desire and groaned into the garment a few moments later, spilling himself into his hand.
Giving his high a moment before he turned on his back, breathing heavily he put her top aside and adjusted himself into a sitting position before reaching for the tissue box and cleaning himself adjusting his glasses and picking up new clothes with a sigh of satisfaction and shame.
He had done it again, had given in to his fantasies again, had taken her and made her his again, had touched her body and inhaled her scent like a lecher.
His slightly sticky hand rebuffed him, it wasn't hers, it wasn't her who had fondled him, he hadn't come inside her, he couldn't put his lips on her body...it was all just his disgusting fantasy. Fantasy is not reality he thought and threw the tissue into the garbage can with the others before looking at the clock and seeing that the party was starting.
But he felt the desire inside him that he should have just satisfied telling him to go there, that he could see her, dancing, drunk, maybe she would need help, maybe she would lean on him, maybe he would feel her body against his.
Michael Gavey knew he had fantasies, obsessive fantasies, he knew the reality was sad and scary but he knew his desire was stronger and he would go out with the camera, his cell phone and a pair of gloves if he accidentally let something go because in the end he was just the weird math nerd Michael Gavey to her and not her stalker since she started at Oxford University.
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