#and impulse is a nice dude who got the Bdubs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dmwrites · 2 years

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“Well, if you are feeling uneasy about your alliance with your soulmate, why don’t you two go be useful and find the enchanter. You can keep your stuff here, Etho, and we can always get an extra bed. But I have a house to build, and I don’t want you doofuses in the way.” Bdubs stood in the doorway of the white mid-century house, hands on his hips. Etho looked at Impulse and then back at Bdubs, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, if my darling says so, I’m happy to do it.” Impulse chuckled, laid back as ever. He brushed past Bdubs to pick up a few things in the house. Etho grabbed Bdubs’ arm to keep him from following.

“Really? Me and him? Exploring the deep dark? Together?” Etho muttered to him. “Curious choice.” Bdubs said nothing, but wrenched his arm out of Etho’s grasp and walked inside. Etho followed.

“Okay, Etho, you’re on your yellow life, so you especially have to be careful.” Impulse was rushing around the little and messy storage area, pulling various bits out and piling them on the floor. “The warden is attracted to noise, so what we need is just that. Do you think you could make a redstone noise machine in the dark in mere seconds?” He fiddled with a few bits of redstone and put the device on the floor. Bdubs, apparently bored of the conversation, had already walked away, so Etho resigned himself to paying attention.

“Hmm, dunno. In the dark?” If Impulse had to build this machine, it might give Etho a pretty good running head start if the warden came their way. “You better hold on to that stuff. You’re the redstone genius.” Impulse beamed at that. He’s so easy, Etho thought.

All packed for their trip, Etho and Impulse called for Bdubs. The builder emerged, holding two paper sacks. “Alright, don’t laugh, but I made you both some snacks. Good luck on your trip.”

“Thank you Bdubs!” Etho pulled Bdubs into a hug, definitely for too long. But Bdubs hugged him right back, and that was reward enough.

“Etho, I’ll meet you outside, yeah?” Impulse gave Etho a look. “Wanna say goodbye.”

“If you die you’ll both just respawn in your bed. It’s not like we’re going off to war.” Etho muttered, but he went outside to wait, definitely not jealous at all.

“Alright Etho, it’s you and me now, buddy!” Impulse put a hand on his shoulder after a few minutes. “Let’s do this thing!”

Impulse lead the way to the deep dark, all casual chats and silly jokes. Now, Etho decided, would be the perfect time to plant some seeds of doubt.

“You know, it almost seemed like Bdubs wanted you out of the house. Like he’s getting tired of you.” Etho commented, ducking under a mineshaft beam.

Impulse chuckled. “Oh, well, I mean, we’ve been inseparable since we found each other, so I don’t blame him at all. We all need a little me time.” There was no heat in his voice, no insecurities shining in his body language. Impulse spoke with a casual confidence that Etho couldn’t quite call foolish.

“You’ve really been joined at the hip ever since you found out, haven’t you?” Etho asked.

Impulse didn’t answer for a moment, checking his compass and a map he’d brought. “We gotta do some digging, I think.” He muttered more to himself, and pulled out a pickaxe. “Yeah, basically joined at the hip all the time. It’s crazy, I found out he was my soulmate and now whenever he’s far away I feel like part of my heart is missing too. Why, is that not how you and Joel are?” Impulse kept mining down, more concentrated on his task, voice innocent.

Etho felt a thrill of anger at his words. “No, not exactly. It must be different for each pair.” He didn’t mention the red-hot jealousy he felt when Bdubs announced his love for Impulse for the first time, or how much he’d been trying to get Bdubs to run away with him, just like old times.

“I guess that makes sense, explains the whole Cleo-Scott-Pearl-Martyn thing.” Impulse murmured. He mined through a block and a musty wind flew up to ruffle their hair. They had found the ancient city. “Don’t worry, man, you’ll find love one day.”

“Yeah… one day.” Etho muttered.

They decided to eat the snacks from Bdubs before going down into the ancient city. With legs dangling and swinging over a yawning edge, the two sat in the mined-out spot in the cave ceiling and ate. They both got bread and cheese as a snack. Etho noticed a note on top of his food and pulled a torch close to read it.

Come back safe

-Bdubs

Etho smiled and put the note in his pocket. He looked over at Impulse, who also seemed to have a Bdubs note. Etho couldn’t read it from where he sat, but it was a lot longer then his own. Impulse smiled and folded the note up, putting it in his pocket. As he did so, Etho caught sight of the gleam of a golden band on his finger. Wedding ring. Something white hot shot through him.

“So the newlyweds nickname isn’t just in name, huh.” Etho asked, hoping his voice wasn’t shaking. How had he never seen this before? Did Bdubs have a ring on too and he’d never noticed?

Impulse looked down at the ring and smiled. “Yeah, we just kind of said hey might as well, you know. Bdubs keeps his on a chain under his shirt. It seems like almost too much, right? But it works for us. A reminder. Because, like, whatever happens, even if we break up or something-” and here Impulse paused for a moment, looking right at Etho, “it’s a good reminder that it’s not just one person’s life we have to lose.”

“What would you do if he left?” Etho knew he was pushing it, that he should strike in quieter ways, but that look from Impulse was too much, too pointed.

Impulse shrugged. “I don’t like to think about it. I’d like to think that love can last. But if he decides to leave, I guess I’ll just continue to fight for him. Keep him alive. I said I’d love him for better or for worse. And I keep my promises.” Impulse stood up and gathered a few things they’d scattered around. “Now, let’s go sneaking around, shall we?”

Etho wished he could hate Impulse. It would be so much easier to see him as weak and stupid, a hopeless romantic who could do nothing to stop Etho from taking Bdubs from him. Oh, if only it could be that easy. The rest of the trip was a blur, with wardens coming out of the ground and the heady buzz of enchanting in his veins. But Impulse was always there, a steady voice in the darkness. It was comforting, knowing that he was always looking out for him. He helped Etho escape the city with his life intact.

And as Etho walked back to his own home with Joel, a realization hit him. Impulse was brave and smart, a man who loved Bdubs with his whole being. Impulse was probably in that stupid house, kissing Bdubs all over his face to make him smile. They’d probably swap gossipy stories and go to bed in each other’s arms.

And Etho hated him for it.

#June 29 2022 #fic #double life smp #dlsmp #impulsesv #ethoslab #bdubs is there as the housewife lol #long post #trafficshipping #ethos jelousssss #and impulse is a nice dude who got the Bdubs

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martuzzio · 4 months

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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

#Hermitcraft #hermit catchphrases #hermitcraft catchphrases #hermit quotes #hermitcraft quotes #This post is going to update many many times so reblogs might not always be up to date #if you have a suggestion to add please let me know!

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red-ruby-rambles · 3 months

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HERMITCRAFT SEASON 10 LIVE REACTION

Scar's POV:

Nice binoculars

MOB ZOO!!! I literally did this in a single player creative world once.

Why is scar all alone?

THEY ADDED JOEL AND NOT HIS WIFE??!?!!? MASSIVE L!!! also hi skizzleman. Yippeee Mumbo is actually here!!!1 love to see him.

AYO DOC AND ETHO???/ hE'S HITTING THEM BACKSHOTS

Hermitcraft with life series mechanics lmao demise 2

Scar is such a little thief

"It's a corset" LMAO

"We all dig down together" Scar, impulse, and gem did not understand this.

~getting overstimulated by my bf~

Grian learns to never dig straight down. OMG IMP IS A RED LIFE LITERALLY LIFE SERIES!

The Scar and imp duo is going crazy, love their dynamic, I don't ship tho

~it got too hot in my room and am topless from this point forward~

MUMBO! TITS OUT FOR MUMBO!

"Wow, you do have a big crack." Who let him say that? who's writing these scripts??

noooo they all left Scar :< I'll be your neighbor Scar.

nasty vile sound, of course Scar made it.

cute little boat... SCAR PUT SOME DAMN PANTS ON BOY!!!

"Just Bdubs and I!" love it!

My bf's guinea pig really loves Tango apparently...

DUDE IS GOING ON A JOURNEY TO COMMIT DEFORESTATION that's dedication right there.

NO NO NO OH HE he didn't drown. phew!

don't kill the llamas ... WHY IS IT AS SOON AS CUB SHOWS UP SCAR STARTS MURDERING THINGS.

Scar detonating Cubs trap like:

CONVEX IS OVER!!!

omg he goes to Bdubs for help and support in his time of need this interaction is so cute and wholesome... This is why I ship Scardubs literally so cute.

"Maybe I just off myself." BDUBS DON'T DO IT YOU ARE LOVED!

Bdubs showing Squawkers 3 to Scar was so wholesome omfg

"I want you to win." DUDE IM CRYING RN I LOVE THESE TWO.

How do they have crafters already???

"The box in maneuver." how did bro get into this cartoonish scenario?

TRAIN? TRAIN? TRAIN! I LOVE TRAINS! THE SWAGON TRAIN! chat... this is epic.

excellent video scar thank you for blessing my eyeballs today.

Follow my Tumblr or you'll be Scared for life!!!!!

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #hermitcraft smp #hermitcraft s10 #hermitcraft spoilers #goodtimeswithscar #docm77 #ethoslab #mumbo jumbo #cubfan135 #impulsesv #bdoubleo100 #liveblogging

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rainbowchaox · 1 year

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Monster Of The Week Ranchers Au:

Okokokokokok this au is based on small town that besieged with so much supernatural shenanigans that Jimmy the chosen one that wants to just be a normal dude and play his Cowboy esque character in his dnd campaign has to be forced to put on his destiny pants and save the town and sometimes the world every each weekend or so.

Jimmy is very much “I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL” type of fated main character.

Tango who is his main love interest is literally a cryptid in the woods that legit falls in love with Jimmy at first interaction. Is actually dangerous but literally all he did is rummage tents for marshmallows and beer. Is highkey feral and is one of the first ones to join the bust the supernatural gang.

Grian is the brother of Main Character Jimmy that thought he would be the chosen one but destiny is a bitch making him a petty fucker for the first arc because Jimmy took his job in his eyes.

Scar is literally a dude that comes from a family of magic users that is heavily tied to the dark secrets of the small town but is the black sheep of the family despite being unironically the most powerful of his generation in his family.

Impulse is literally a normal dude. Excerpt he has a car and is way too willing to break all laws to help Jimmy and co beat whatever is the monster of the week. He eventually manages to get fae napped and Fae married in a later arc to Bdubs who is a Fae Creature.

Bdubs is a fae creature that is a little shit that appears to help or make Jimmy and co life a little bit hell. And yes somehow Impulse with his normal boy swag romances the evil adjacent fae being,

Kathrine is the recurring side character who goes to the posh private academy and from a rich af family who is probably one of the founding families of the small town. A typical popular chick but instead she’s actually nice and a friendly rival monster hunter to Jimmy. She wears a pink leather jacket and rides a motorcycle.

Scott is a vampire. Has his evil arc but eventually becomes a begrudged ally. Jimmy had a thing with him in his past life.

Fwhip as a normal dude that touches shit he shouldn’t touch. He goes outside during full moons for night walks. He summons demons or shit because he got drunk and decided to do Ouija. One of the dudes that saw “The Red Stalker” in the woods (Tango) but no one believed him and the cause of Tango bad press. In actuality Tango wasn’t trying to hurt him Fwhip got saved by Tango because another monster wanted to eat him.

Sausage as the son of the pastor that quickly learns that belief can burn bitches. Also a goddess lives in his head. He’s going through it.

Oli as the ghost that haunts the school auditorium that may be connected to some tragedy that is related to the secrets of the town. Possible died because of cult shit.

Gem as literally a new age movement leader that recently made a compound in the woods because of the “ENERGY” and “ZEN” of the environment. Worships the Fae Creature Bdubs eventually.

Lizzie is literally a old god that Joel summoned in a episode with a eldritch book. And yes Joel manages to convince her to date him.

Joel is just a normal dude that does have red string board in his room because he is sorta freaking out that ya know they live in small town supernatural.

Pearl is the goddess in Sausage brain. She can appear to other supernaturals but she kinda vibing because she is kinda low on magic god juice.

PixL as the history teacher that knows way too much about what the fuck is going down that week. Either he’s immortal or connected to a secret society,

Joey as a normal dude in theatre that is the main target of Oli shenanigans.

Shubble as a goth witch in training also part of the posh private school with a major crush on Kathrine.

BigB and Ren are two homies that recently became werewolves.

Etho is another Cryptid who is besties with Tango.

Martyn is the son of the mayor whose house holds so many secrets.

Mumbo is a vampire because of Scott villain arc.

Skizzleman is just a dude that thinks the town is normal because somehow he always rationalizes the freaky shit into stuff like CO2 poisoning. Or scooby Doo shenanigans.

Cleo is a zombie that Shubble revived making them like besties and roommates.

#team rancher #rancher duo #solidaritek #double life jimmy #double life tango

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hmshermitcraft · 10 months

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I've tried multiple times to write but I'm an artist not a writer so bear with me. A bdubs centric where he's just some dude who's no longer a hero after being called dead beat and traitor. He's old team change their name to bites to ties and took him out of poly amorous love. He just happened to be very strong and really good healing abilities. The problem is he con to said powers is the lost of sanity so he was losing his mind as a hero. Now he's an owner of a cafe that sells quite good and he helps vigilantes/villains/anti heroes . He won't try to be vigilante himself but he'll help them. It was a normal day till his old team came for forgiveness. They've only found recently about how he was hurting and they failed to be there for him when he needed. They want him back so do the other heroes but sadly so do the villains because how they've become like family. Bduds choose neither he wants to be just a civilian now.

He's happy to be civil with both sides. Even though they hurt him, they're still dear to him. Bdubs hates that he's been unable to shut them out his heart, but he hasn't! Impulse and him were quiet and domestic, Bdubs felt so genuinely happy with him. He goes back far with Etho. Skizz has bucketfuls of kindness, always ready to get stuck in. Him and Tango scrapped, but it was always in good fun.

Then one day they just struck him out. Like he was nothing. Just a footnote to be left behind as the page turns.

For a while, his powers lashed out. Everything around him seemed to wither away, as if his emotions were sucking up all the life in his vicinity. He hid away, terrified of hurting an actual person, instead of just plants.

When he finally re-emerged, he'd made his decision. He wasn't going to sit and wallow, he was going to make a new life. For himself, this time.

The café was impulsive, but Bdubs had always enjoyed getting to meet people and put a smile on their faces. He'd always been an extrovert - part of why being cut out of his lovers lives so suddenly hurt him so explosively. But, soon he found himself enjoying life again. The routine was nice, meeting new people was nice.

A few people recognised him. He was apprehensive to heal them at first, but he couldn't just leave them. It meant he gained a bit of a reputation as a safe place, and he didn't mind that. It felt... Right, actually.

It was how he met Scar and Cleo. He wasn't ready to love again, but the two took him under their wings regardless. They became an odd sort of family. Waking up to Cleo's signature knock because Scar got himself injured was a familiar step in his routine.

It's not love, not romantic anyway. But it feels close to it.

It's not a surprise that his ex-lovers find out where he is through the grapevine. He didn't expect for them to say sorry, though. He wasn't sure they were capable of it! They all for him to come, and... Bdubs says no. He's happy here. He's not throwing that all away like they did to him. If they want him back, they get him on his terms.

And... They agree. They tell him they won't pester him. They'll work to build back his trust, and they're happy to love him, hero or not. Cleo says to just kick them out and throw away the key, but Bdubs wants to give them another chance. At least this time, he has a family to go to if it all falls apart.

#hermitshipping #trafficshipping #ask #bdoubleo tag #zombiecleo tag #scar tag #etho tag #skizzleman tag #impulse tag #tango tag #poly BITES #queerplatonic clockers #mod 🎀#weekly theme: heroes/villains

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verdantglow · 16 days

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Okay so @plumadot’s posting about her D&D Traffic AU has made me remember how much I love my Dungeons & Traffic AU & I Must Talk About It Now.

Basically all the characters are in a modern setting, playing a rotating cast D&D game DMed by The Watchers. (I never really decided how that works. Plan was for everything in out of game space be completely mundane except for the floating purple eye behind the DM screen lol.)

But yeah! So I picked classes & heritages that the characters would pick themselves based on play styles & preferences. &, uh, here they are!

Bdubs: Firbolg, Light Domain Cleric of Helios

Of course he’s a light cleric. Of course his god is literally the god of the Sun. This man does not fuck with the night & darkness At All. (Also he wanted to be tall lol.)

BigB: (???), (???)

Okay, gonna be honest, BigB is the last one I need to make decisions for ‘cause I feel I have too many knowledge gaps about him to figure this out. Was thinking Paladin maybe??? But I will totes take input, please help me here. Only restrictions: I’d prefer if he doesn’t double up on heritage or subclass with anyone.

Cleo: Reborn, Circle of Wildfire Druid

Cleo’s gotta be a zombie, so Reborn is perfect. & who can deny Cleo the opportunity to have a skill set based entirely around setting shit on fire?

Etho: Shadar-Kai, Way of the Shadow Monk

He’s a ninja lol. Also in this AU I was thinking he & Gem would be siblings, so having him play an emotionally flat dark elf played nicely with what Gem goes with. Which…

Gem: Eladrin, Eldritch Knight Fighter

Gem had to be a fighter, that girl is a fighter through & through, but she’s definitely not playing a boring character. Eldritch Knight adds some magical flavour that goes well with her being an Eladrin. & she had to be an elf of some kind; I think she’d like the versatility & expressiveness of Eladrin.

Grian: Changeling, Pact of the Tome Warlock of the Archfey

Okay, I know this is probs controversial but hear me out. 1) Grian being a Warlock I think is just very in character. 2) Pact of the Tome lets him cast catrips from other classes & you unknowingly he’d get a kick outta that mechanic. 3) His patron is a homebrewed version of The Traveler, half way between 5e canon & Critical Role canon. Trickster vibes are real. 4) This dude has had so many skins. Changeling energy. (Also I just love changelings & Grian made the most sense to me.)

Impulse: Hill Dwarf, Forge Domain Cleric of Tharmekhûl

Another controversial one, but I’m not a fan of demon/tiefling/horned Impulse. & he legit has been a dwarf before. Hill dwarf because they get a Wisdom buff & that makes sense for Impulse. Cleric of Tharmekhûl because forge/light vibes & also he’s the god of smiths & that feels… like something Impulse would choose. (Impulse’s character is also min-max’d to hell. This man is going to win at D&D.)

Jimmy: Human, Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr

Jimmy got overwhelmed by all the heritages & just went human for simplicity. He takes regular human rather than variant because he doesn’t want to learn all the feats & getting +1 to all stats is pretty good, right? Oath of Glory Paladin of Tyr because he really, really plays into being Lawful Good, & being The Law of the party.

Joel: Half-orc, Path of the Berserker Barbarian

Half-orc for being the closest I could get to an ogre. Path of the Berserker because he’s all about The Rage.

Lizzie: High Elf, School of Enchantment Wizard

Idk Lizzie just has big Wizard vibes to me, but like. Not the best wizard. Like she’s powerful, but rolls shit. She couldn’t get anyone to sleep in the Secret Life campaign because her DC is kinda low & everyone kept making their saves. (Except Joel. He failed his save on purpose. <3) High Elf for Queen Lizzie.

Martyn: Tiefling, Swashbuckler Fighter

Another natural fighter choice imo, but Swashbuckler for The Performance. Tiefling because he’s a bit impish & also so he can have Thaumaturgy to constantly scare everyone with monster/mob noises.

Mumbo: Rock Gnome, School of Evocation Wizard

I need to Mumbo to be a glass canon. School of Evocation Wizard does that so well. He can blow shit up so good, but he takes one hit & he’s out. Rock gnome because he just wanted to be a little guy & so he can be a Tinker.

Pearl: Wood Elf, Beastmaster Ranger

Beastmaster Ranger so she can have Tilly as an animal companion. Also more combat than magic focused, ‘cause that feels right? Elf because that’s her vibe, wood elf because it made sense for her build.

Ren: Werewolf Shifter (Doglike), Bannerette Fighter

Ren really wanted to be a fighter, but he put all his points in charisma RIP. So yeah, he’s the fighter class that does the least actual fighting lol. Doglike werewolf because of course.

Scar: Half-elf, Wild Magic Sorcerer/School of Eloquence Bard multiclass

His first few levels were in sorcerer, to reflect his absolutely bonkers all or nothing luck. School of Eloquence because he’s the type to talk his way out of most any situation he can. Also: Scar is 100% a charisma caster. (He still uses a longbow, don’t worry; he gets proficiency with it from being a half-elf.)

Scott: Fairy, Lunar Sorceror

I have changed my mind the most about Scott. Landed on Fairy, because the Vibes. Sorcerer because I felt he’d have innate magic, Lunar because it gives him access to a wide variety of spells that make sense for him. (Like Shield. He uses Shield all the time. Can’t hit this man, no sir.)

Skizz: Protector Aassimar, Path of the Ancestral Guardians Barbarian

He attac, he protec. & most importantly, he place high value on bonds between folks. So giving him Ancestral Guardians just… yeah.

Tango: Fire Genasi, Battlesmith Artificer

I don’t think I need to explain this much. His Steel Defender is an Iron Golem.

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thesnailkiwi · 1 year

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i wanna hear more about your weird vivid 3rd life dreams /not forced

Mkay mkay I really want to talk about this

First time it happened, or as I call it "first session". (Side note, everyone looked like their characters but realistic.)

Started out (normal?) And collected stuff. The usual. I didn't know anyone at all and it was weird. Everyone felt so familiar, yet I couldn't place who they were. I met Martyn pretty early on. We talked, and he threw seeds at me and ran off. I settled in the roots of a tree the first night (the rain was unpleasant to say the least). Eventually I dug out the area around the upturned tree and put a roof so it was kind of like a burrow. Boy, how I envied Dogwarts at the time.

I met Joel next. He... was something, alright. He insulted me half the time and actually does swear a lot. Oh, and he was like 5'6 so that made it even funnier. He was annoying, though. He kinda just broke into my house tbh.

After that, I heard about Tango’s game but thought it was too risky. I was also afraid because of Scar since I didn't know him and from the stories I had heard he was cruel and merciless. In my defense, he was a red.

I met Jimmy after his first death. He's such a nice dude omg. He's also easy af to fluster. I complimented him and he turned bright red. He, seeing my pathetic house, invited me back to the flower valley for the night. Scott was offended that he brought home someone other than him lmao. At first Scott was defensive but after Jimmy convinced him I was fine then he loosened up. I felt like a third wheel the whole time. Jeez Louise the sheer amount of affection between those two.

Ahaha the next day I wasnt too lucky. I got caught in a TNT trap someone set (I think it was the Crastle, but I'm still unsure) and exploded. Not fun, exploding. Let me tell you. At least it was quick ig.

Bdubs was grumpy about that since it wasn't meant for me. Sir, how am I supposed to know that when you set it near MY HOUSE?

This is where things started going downhill.

Dogwarts was starting to rise. I was allies with the flower valley so I quickly was introduced to the desert duo. I felt kinda bad for Grian since he couldn't use his wings, but realistic harpy things are weird looking. Scar was terrifying. My dude is like 6 feet tall, grey, and littered with scars. Jimmy was red and he still wasn't scary! Wtf!

Ah yes. The burning of the banner. How could I forget? I wasn't there for it, but Scott sounded scared when I visited them next.

I had seen Ren from a distance, and I was so, so angry at Martyn for becoming the monster he did. Oh yeah, and the two of them kept beating around the bush in their relationship and that was annoying as well. Like, dude, just tell him already.

I never really met the Crastle. But I did meet Martyn again and blow up on him about being part of Red Winter.

And here we are! The bunker battle.

I don't really remember much about this part. Pure adrenaline took over. But I did die to being shot by an arrow and falling into the lava moat. I ran back as fast as I could with literal leather armor. Jimmy was dead by then, and when Scott realized, oh jeebus bleebus.

Anger, sorrow, revenge. He definitely was NOT thinking clearly. Since I was closest to Jimmy in the battle, he blamed me for his death. He attacked me and killed me with his sword. Very uncomfortable way to die.

Session two.

Started out on bad terms. I killed a few of the villagers Grian saved and he definitely was NOT happy. I swear he meant the creeper for me and it agro-ed on scar instead. But we'll never know ig.

The Crastle became my home this time. Cleo was recruiting so I signed up.

It went how you think it would. Except this time I played Tango’s game. I failed and died.

Then Dogwarts invaded the Crastle. The others except Impulse got away, but then I realized he was a traitor. I got sacrificed on the altar. Dude the Red Winter axe is a huge ceremonial battle axe. Ren laughing is extremely eerie.

Then during the final siege, Martyn took my last life. Pretty anticlimactic if I say so myself.

Anyway, any questions? I can talk for hours.

I swear every time you send an ask, it turns into a whole essay lmao /pos

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headbucket · 2 years

Text

Ask game answers nobody asked for

Hermitcraft ask game by @cryptid-crw

🐶 What hermits do you watch?

Lots! Bdubs, Cub, Etho, False, Gem, Grian, Impulse, Iskall, Keralis, Mumbo, Pearl, Ren, Scar, Tango, Beef, xB, Zedaph, and Cleo.

🐱 Who was your first hermit?

This gets a little complicated but... as a hermit, Grian. As just a MCYT, Bdubs.

🐰 Who is your favourite hermit?

This is a hard question but... I have to say Etho (yes I admit it I'm an Ethogirl)

🐼 Who is one hermit you haven't watched yet but want to?

Joe - everything I see about him is so unique and hilarious but so far I haven't really gotten into his videos. Maybe someday, though!

🐸 What year did you start watching hermitcraft?

Okay, let's do the story now. In early 2019 I was watching some of Grian's building videos and stumbled onto his Hermitcraft series, which I started watching, got hooked on, and gradually started watching more and more hermits. I was really excited when Bdubs came back towards the end of S6 because I had watched him way back in Attack of the B-Team days, and at some point I learned that he had been in S5 so I went back and watched that. The videos were so familiar and I realized I had seen them before... I had watched his S5... so basically I was watching Hermitcraft before I knew it was Hermitcraft! I only watched Bdubs then, though, and had no idea what was going on on the rest of the server so I consider S6 to be when I started watching Hermitcraft.

🐵 What season did you watch first?

Season 6! I watched Grian's series from the beginning and caught up to episodes being currently released right around the time of the Civil War.

🐧 What is your favourite season?

Season 7! The Head Games, Hermit challenges, HWF, the Button, Boomers, Shade-E-E's, the mayoral race, Turf War, Decked Out, the Upside Down, HCBBS, Sewer Cats, Aque Town... so much good stuff!

🐝 What is your favourite hermitcraft moment?

Man, it's hard to choose, but I think my favorite moment(s) were Etho's meetings with Llama Dad in S7. They were so funny and the Etho and Beef vibes are impeccable.

🦝 Do you watch any streams?

A few! Mostly I watch Tango's Phasmo and stabby streams, and MCC (usually False).

🍂 How many hermits are you subscribed to on YouTube?

18 (70% of them!)

🍄 Do you only watch hermitcraft content, or do you watch their other videos too?

I watch other videos too! I watch just about all the videos of the hermits I'm subscribed to: Traffic series, Empires, Building with Bdoubleo, Naked and Scared, and Etho's singleplayer and modded series are all amazing!

🌻 Are you also in the life series fandom?

You bet! All three of them have been some of my favorite series ever.

🌕 What is your favourite hermitcraft build?

Scar's magical village in S7: the amount of detail was incredible and it truly felt magical. Plus it was only his starter base?!

🌗 Do you have a favourite quote/favourite quotes?

A few of my favorites: "Oh, you declared war! Oh perfect, wonderful - dude, your mayorship is working out fantastic! We've declared war!" -Bdubs, S7. "HCBBS, which I assume stands for How Can Butter Be Solid? Yes, I too ask that question, great almighty countdown clock." -Cub, S7. "In terms of salvation, Cleo, is this one of those six to eight weeks for deliverance deals?" -Joe, S8.

🌑 Do you have a favourite shop?

Hmmm... probably Scar's chest monster shop in S7.

🌙 If you could join hermitcraft, would you?

No, I would be too scared! I'm a perfectly average Minecraft player and I would be very intimidated by all the talented Hermits.

🪐 If you joined hermitcraft, who would you team with?

I would love to team with Pearl! She could teach me some building skills and we could do some shenanigans together, plus she seems super nice.

💫 Have you met any hermits?

Nope

⭐️ If you could meet your favourite hermit, what would you say to them? / If you've met your favourite hermit, what did you say?

"I... ah... thank you!" (I'm not sure I could say much more than that honestly)

🌟 Have you been to any conventions?

Nope

✨ Do you have any merch?

Yes! I have a Gem hoodie and a Doc beanie (both very comfy)

🌈 Are you immune to the good times? (no, no you are not)

Never.

#hermitcraft #ask game

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moon1ee · 2 years

Text

after the emotional wreck that we all are after session 8, take this phasmaphobia/ghosthunting/3rd life/college crossover au!!! it started as just a list of headcanons but then got really out of control, buckle up lol.

cw shipping

so basically, grian and jimmy and everyone else are all just like college or high school students or smth, and grian, jimmy, impulse, and joel (the phasmophobia stream gang) do ghostbusting to get an extra buck, except they’re terrible at it

if you watch jimmy’s stream you’ll know what i mean

if they die during ghostbusting, whoever is left alive has to get into the car with all the ghosts of them and drive them back to their main base, (as in, a cramped dorm or something) do some weird satanic ritual in a pentagram, and get them back to the world of the living

yes, they’re basically immortal. yes, they use that immortality to hunt ghosts. no, i don’t get it either.

anyway, after a lot of exceptionally shitty ghostbusting, they get called in for a big “job” in which there’s a haunted old castle (i’m assuming there’s a lot of those in england) and there’s some sort of spirit of a dead king that supposedly is haunting it

the dead king’s ghost is called the red king, if you were wondering. not rlly important or anything, but just. throwing that out there. you know. for fun.

and it’s a big castle, right. so they’re like, “okay, well, we’re going to need more people to help with this” so they call in a few other people (as in, the rest of the 3rd life gang) who are also broke high school/college students looking for a quick buck

one of these broke students is martyn, who does not believe in ghosts at all whatsoever but thinks it would be hilarious to come along anyway, just to jump scare the shit out of people, like the good friend he is. also, the money. because that’s always a plus.

anyway, they all meet up in the castle at the dead of night, because those are the best ghostbusting times and when a ghost should actually be hunting, “not bloody 5 after 8, which blumming ghost hunts 5 after 8?” - joel, basically

they’re the 3rd life gang, of course there’s suitable shenanigans

grian meets New Guy scar, who is ridiculous and trips over everything and accidentally burned down a fancy red banner in the castle that was probably worth like, a million dollars, and grian is forced to basically stick to scar at all times to make sure he doesn’t destroy any other priceless artifacts

jimmy invites scott, the cute guy he has a crush on, over as well, because he really likes him, and of course, hunting for ghosts in a drafty weird castle is the best date ever, duh. however, they do end up just making out in the garden the whole night, so i guess it went well

bdubs and cleo are bdubs and cleo. i mean, c’mon.

now, you must be wondering what martyn is up to. he’s having the time of his life, jumping out, spooking people, playing creepy noises on his phone to freak everyone out and accidentally causing grian to set yet another priceless artifact on fire while scar laughs endlessly—

he gets bored pretty soon, though, and decides to wander around and check the place out. he then bumps into (literally) a very nice looking guy. martyn is kind of checking this new guy out. they introduce themselves, and the new guy’s name is ren.

DO YOU GUYS SEE WHERE I’M GOING HERE. DO YOU.

martyn assumes ren was either also invited with the other broke kids, a weird cosplayer, or he was a thief, because he was wearing a crown on his head that didn’t look like it was just plastic. martyn’s cool with it either way, though, because the crown was probably made from stolen goods from other countries anyway, so whatever.

they talk. martyn is kind of digging this guy. ren is totally heads over heels for this mortal human dude, and regales him with romantic and dramatic poetry while martyn laughs.

martyn also meets some other people who he hadn’t seen before, and they all seemed to be into some cosplay thing because they had shields and armor on. ren introduces them as etho, skizzle, and bigb, which are weird names, but martyn isn’t going to judge, he’s a martin with a y.

ren also calls them “his loyal knights” really dramatically but martyn just assumes they’re like a boyband or something.

later, they all eventually find the gang again, and ren introduces everyone to the new guy he just met who he thinks is pretty hot

grian just. looks at ren. then at the huge, forty-foot high painting of the red king on the castle wall. looks back at ren. back at the giant painting of the ghost they’re supposed to be hunting. and sighs.

might add more later but this is it for now <3. i’ve had this infecting my mind for days, i hope i have now infected you as well

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ok-ish-hermitcraft-headcanons · 2 years

Note

worst to best handwriting on the server, but from a person who has no idea how to analyse handwriting at all bdubs: literally illegible. he fights so many illiteracy accusations on the daily because of how bad it is (and it isnt even related to the writing tool, it just sucks) iskall: they look like she's writing in swedish. he is not. jevin: suprisingly legible for a dude made of slime, but it is basically unreadable doc: it dries its darndest and that's all that matters. mumbo: he writes so fast and only he can read his handwriting. probably. bless him stress: you can't get much from fingerpainted writing, her words are always written really big and difficult to read because ae always smudges them hypno: they're pretty blind tbh. he tries and usually gets another hermits help on writing, but they don't write often tfc: he has not written since college but if they did pick up a pen or something rn it'd be half-decent tango: he writes so fast it's a miracle anything comes out legible, fei even manages to have a font?? in his writing?? what the hell grian: better at writing japanese than english because of highschool, his handwriting is painfully "JUST below average" false: she always writes the letters tilted, and they're always connected like it's cursive but it's really not. not dyslexic friendly /lh ren: claws can only go so far. he tears the paper less than doc and their words are usually more legible joe: painfully average handwriting. you can read it but you can't scar: only good at cursive but it's like. Really good cursive xisuma: learned how to write in season 1 but is surprisingly good at it now cleo: writes like an elementary school teacher. you know the way. no one knows how bc..bone pencil, but whatever zedaph: better handwriting than you'd think. it's the comically large princess pen it has magic wels: THEY CAN READ AND WRITE PLEASE the hermits have all started thinking they can't but they can they promise they're so good at it they have such nice handwriting pearl: only writes in galactic. it's really good tho she could write books like that etho: etho's handwriting is like. annoyingly good, you can look at etho's notebooks and be like "what. why can I understand the words" cub: science man gets good handwriting beef: he's just got a good handwriting vibe I think gem: undisputed she does the hearts to dot xyr i's and it's all bubbly and nice to read. it's all glitter pen keralis: just as nice as her voice xb: he did a lot of writing in their old worlds, where he travelled through apocalypse after apocalypse and documented their findings and experiences. gave him time to practice impulse: amazing handwriting. mwah. top tier

Nice!!

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theres-an-impulstor-among-us · 2 years

Text

Evil At the Emporium chapter 1

Summary: With another war bringing Tango and Impulse to opposite sides of the battlefield yet again, Zedaph is forced to join up with a certain evil businessman who claims to have a plan to solve everything, but is it really that simple?

...

“-and finally, the villager gets assigned a profession down here and that’s when I move them all the way to the trading area,” finishes Zedaph.

“Nice, man,” says Impulse, impressed, staring up at the villager breeding chamber. “I love the minecart system that drops them when they grow up. Really creative.”

Zedaph can’t help a proud smile. “Thanks! I’m glad you were finally able to come over and see it.”

“Yeah sorry dude, I’ve just been so busy,” chuckles Impulse.

“I know, yeah.” Zedaph’s smile drops as he forces himself to ask, “How’s the war going?”

“Honestly, I’m excited,” Impulse replies enthusiastically. “I’ve got a great group and I think we’re gonna come up with some creative pranks. And of course, Tango and Bdubs and Keralis are super creative too. I think it’s gonna be great.”

“Really…?” Zedaph frowns. “Have you spoken to Tango recently?”

“Nah, why?”

“Well…” Zedaph falls silent, remembering how bad the end of the Civil War got back in Season 6.

Impulse frowns back at him but then realisation dawns. “...oh, I see. Don’t worry buddy, it’s not gonna get that bad again. Unless Tango escalates it. Which is a possibility.”

“This isn’t making me feel better.”

Impulse sighs. “Okay, look. I can’t promise it won’t escalate but I swear I won’t do anything to escalate it on purpose. Okay?”

Zedaph has to avert his gaze, unable to make eye contact with his friend any longer. “Alright. Thanks, Impulse. I just… it gets hard, you know? You say the wars are just for fun but real people get real injuries and that’s not fun for anyone, not even an uninvolved party like me.”

“Don’t worry, I get it.” Impulse pats his friend on the shoulder. “Anyway, I’d better head off. Thanks for inviting me over.”

“Hey, no problem. Thanks for coming.”

Zedaph walks Impulse to the door but just as they get there, they find Tango just entering the lab. Both he and Impulse freeze when they spot each other.

“Hi, Tango,” says Zedaph carefully. “What’s up?”

“You said I could use your combrewter whenever I needed.” Tango’s tone is low, non-hostile for now but certainly not friendly. “I still can, right?”

“Oh of course, let me just walk Impulse out and I’ll be right there.”

“Mhm, cuz Impy doesn’t know how to find a door on his own,” mutters Tango.

Impulse shoots his friend a scowl. “Don’t start, Tango. Not here.”

“Where exactly would you like to start?” Tango demands. “Cuz it really seems like you’re avoiding me.”

“We’re in the middle of a war.”

“Oh are we? Last I checked, it was just Boatem pummelling us with pranks. Call that a war?”

“PLEASE, Tango,” Zedaph says pleadingly. “I don’t understand why there even needs to be a war in the first place.”

“Stay outta this, Zed; you’re not involved,” Tango snaps. “As usual.”

Zedaph deliberately steps between his friends, ignoring the twinge in his chest at Tango’s comment. “If you’re gonna fight, physically or verbally, go do it outside please.”

Tango takes a step back, back towards the door. “Fine, I’ll come back another time. Really thought you were better than this, Zed.”

“Me?” Zedaph blinks. “What did I do?”

“Playing favourites.”

“I’m not-!”

But Tango is already gone.

“Sorry about him, he-,” Impulse starts.

“Please leave,” interrupts Zedaph suddenly. “I’m sorry, but please just leave me alone.”

“Oh. Okay. S-Sorry.”

Zedaph watches Impulse sadly leave. He feels a bit bad for being so curt but he just couldn’t take it anymore. Impulse and Tango are the absolute best of friends the vast majority of the time but when they end up on opposite sides of a war, it’s like they were never friends at all.

And they never seem to understand how much it impacts Zedaph to see them so easily become enemies every time.

…

For the first time in a while, Zedaph has ventured out of his lab. He doesn’t normally like going to such a public area while a war is going on but he needs supplies, so he has no choice.

As he walks past the large ominous building, something stops him. He’s never been inside the Evil Emporium before - mostly due to a desire to avoid coming into contact with its proprietor - but something seems to be calling to him now. So he slowly approaches.

He can see someone standing just inside the doorway but it’s not until he gets closer that he realises who it is.

“Zedaph!” Evil Xisuma beams, throwing his arms wide in a welcoming gesture. “My friend! Welcome to the Evil Emporium. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”

“You haven’t,” Zedaph replies carefully. “It’s my first time here.”

“Well, then! Let me show you around!”

Zedaph hesitates, but EX seems to be nothing but friendly and welcoming so he allows them to take him inside.

The tour of the Evil Emporium lasts only a few minutes but Zedaph finds himself relaxing the more it goes on. EX is nothing like the way they used to be; they are chatty and cheerful and patient with all of Zedaph’s questions. Since his only contact with other people in the last few weeks has been with the hostile Impulse and Tango, it’s refreshing to spend time with someone so different.

“So this Derpcoin is gonna become the new currency?” Zedaph asks, as the tour comes to an end.

EX nods enthusiastically. “Eventually, yeah! It’s THE hottest currency on the server at the moment and we aim to make it the ONLY one soon. Diamonds are old news, you know? It’s time for an update.”

“Fair enough, fair enough.” Zedaph checks his watch. “I should be getting back.”

“You sound a little disappointed,” observes EX.

“I am a little. I’m just so tired of the same old routine. I haven’t been able to finish any experiments in weeks because of the war.”

EX appears intrigued. “Oh? I thought you weren’t involved.”

“You wouldn’t know it,” sighs Zedaph. “My best friends are, and even though they haven’t tried to get me to join their side for once, I see them often enough that the anxiety of them being enemies is really getting bad. I can’t do anything with even just one of them without them talking about the war, and don’t even get me started on what happens when they end up in the same place at the same time.”

“That sounds really hard,” EX says sympathetically.

“It… It is. And this is just the START of the war.” Zedaph’s shoulders slump. “I just don’t know what to do anymore, EX; I don’t think I can bear another conflict like this. You didn’t see how the Civil War ended. I just- I can’t go through that again.”

EX pauses for a moment, before thoughtfully folding his arms. “Well… what if I told you I could end the war?”

Zedaph glances up at him. “What?”

“Actually, let me rephrase: what if I told you I had an idea to end the war but I couldn’t do it alone?”

“Alone?” echoes Zedaph, still not entirely sure where EX is going with this.

Sensing that they have Zedaph’s full attention, EX continues, “I have a few people working with me: Xisuma, iJevin, Welsknight, and VintageBeef. But it’s not enough. My idea to end the war will only work with one more person of unique enough talents, and you fit that bill.”

Zedaph frowns. “You want me to work for you?”

“Not FOR me,” EX corrects him. “WITH me. You’re a scientific genius and I’m a business genius. The two of us could achieve extraordinary things.”

“I see your point…” Zedaph hesitates. “But my only concern really is to end the war.”

“Of course, of course,” says EX quickly. “That’ll be the first thing we work on. So are you in?”

Zedaph isn’t entirely sold on this idea but he knows he’s getting less of a choice as the days go by. He has absolutely no ideas on how to end the war before either of his friends get hurt, whereas EX clearly has a plan. What would be the harm in giving this partnership a go?

“I…” Zedaph clears his throat. “I’m in.”

“Excellent.” A smile appears on EX’s face, hidden behind the mask. They offer Zedaph their hand. “We’re gonna be a perfect team.”

As he shakes Ex’s hand, a sudden sense of calm washes over Zedaph and a smile appears on his face, not seeing the faint glowing pink aura around EX’s hand.

“A perfect team.”

#hermitcraft #zedaph #impulsesv #tangotek #evil xisuma #vaunna writes #evil at the emporium

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redorich · 3 years

Note

Eventually the Hermits get their hands on the one shulker box. They give it back a day later, filled with goodies as an apology for stealing, because they just needed it briefly so Doc could set up a shulker box duplicator.

(2/2) To expand on the shulker box ask I sent: It's cheating. They know it's cheating. They debate for a while over wether or not they should build it. But desperate times call for desperate measures, and dammit they need shulkers. Mules and Llamas can only get them so far.

---

(this takes place before the fic where puffy finds zedaph.)

---

The Hermits put up with mule highways and caravans of spitting llamas because they think they have no choice. At least one person complains about the lack of sophisticated storage transportation daily. Mumbo tries to create a system which will ferry items between bases, but it turns out to be more of a Rube Goldberg machine than anything, considering the items only travel at the speed of the water which carries them. Zedaph creates an actual Rube Goldberg machine for item transportation, but the only people who use it are himself and his neighbors, Impulse, False, and Tango. It’s more for prank transportation and snail mail anyway.

Things change when Stress, on a covert surface run, comes a bit too close to other humans on accident and catches sight of a blond man in a hoodie furtively checking his surroundings. Stress immediately does as she’s been trained, hiding herself behind tree cover and checking how long her invisibility potion will be in effect for. It says four minutes. As long as he leaves soon, she won’t have an issue.

The man surveys the muddy clearing with a keen eye, keeping watch for any evildoing interlopers. He places down an Ender chest, reaches his hands into it, then looks around once again to make sure no one’s there. Stress’s heart beats like a drum-- not the style of drums she usually plays, but rather the percussion of one of Xisuma’s favorite black metal bands. As the man’s gaze passes right over her, she feels the machine gun fire of her heart against her chest peak, breath catching in her throat.

He doesn’t see her. Quickly, he pulls something out of the Ender chest. A shulker box!

Stress’s breath stops for an entirely different reason. The things the Hermits could do with even one shulker box..! Item dupers are a thing, right? If anyone knows how to make an item duplication machine, it would be Doc. And a shulker box might be useful for an item duping machine!

She’s getting ahead of herself. Should she steal from this person? Can she steal from this person? Even disregarding the moral dilemma, the members of the Dream SMP are fighters through and through. She’s got the advantage of surprise because she’s invisible and this man doesn’t know she’s here, but how long will that last? Even if she manages to take it, what if the blond man (Punz, she thinks is his name) kills her and takes the shulker box back from her?

As Stress weighs the risks and the rewards, she knows she’s running out of time. Punz breaks the shulker box. Right as he’s about to put it back in his Ender chest, Stress, who can see the window of opportunity closing, springs into panicked action.

She sprints right past Punz, hoping with every fiber of her being that her invisibility potion will be enough to save her. Snatching the box right out of Punz’s hands, Stress takes off running. Punz shouts, swinging his sword wildly at the air. He’s so close that a few strands of hair, just barely the tips, get sheared off of Stress’s fluffy mane and become visible as they flutter to the ground.

Punz’s eyes narrow, tracking the potion particles that he can just barely see. Unfortunately for him, the invisible thief takes off into the mob-infested forest. He gives chase, but the thief gains on him every time he has to stop to fight a mob.

Stress knows she can’t outrun Punz. She’s not bad, but he’s really good. Stress absolutely cannot lead this man back to the canyon. Allowing the hostile mobs of the forest to buy her time by slowing Punz down, Stress looks around rapidly, searching for something, anything she can do to lose the hunter on her trail.

A lone cow catches her eye. Thinking fast, she bites her lip as she dumps her only water bucket out into a nearby pond where it won’t be noticed, then milks the cow. In the distance, a zombie groans as Punz takes it out. Stress hyperventilates, frantically digging at the ground beneath her feet with a silk touch shovel. Once she’s created a hole just barely big enough for her to hide in, she hops in and puts the grassy dirt she dug up just seconds ago above her head and immediately downs the milk, so that there won’t be any potion particles to track her by.

Slowly, carefully, and as quiet as she possibly can, she digs up the dirt beneath her feet in absolute darkness. Logically, Stress knows that Punz won’t be able to see the light from her torch, but she’s too terrified to think logically. What has she done?!

Her shovel stills as angry feet stomp above her. Dirt crumbles into her hair when Punz walks directly above her. Caustic mutters faintly reach her ears through the loamy earth, fading farther and farther away as Punz searches in vain for the invisible thief. Stress waits with bated breath for minutes on end, hands shaking like leaves in a hurricane.

Tentatively, she digs up the diorite block below her with a pickaxe. A mob shifts aboveground and Stress, paralyzed with the paranoia that it might be Punz, spends another five minutes in immobile silence. Burying her face in her hands, she sucks in a breath and continues digging. Once she hits a decently low y-level, she digs forward, taking care to place all her blocks behind her exactly as they were before she mined them.

After a solid three hundred blocks, she begins to staircase back up. On one unfortunate swing of her pick, water floods into her staircase. She must be under a lake or a sea. She can make out some kelp, though, so hopefully that’ll be enough cover for her to go up and check her surroundings.

Stress takes a deep breath and plunges into the cold water. Swimming up, she catches sight of wood-- no way. There is no way she’s made it to the docks just outside of the canyon. Eagerly, she swims back down into her staircase for a breath of air and the chance to down an invisibility potion, then back up to the surface.

On the entire journey from the bottom of the sea to the elevator on the other side of the canyon, she expects someone to catch her, to notice the water she’s dripping on the ground, to somehow sense the guilt emanating off her in waves. It doesn’t happen. Stress makes it to the elevator and pushes the down button eagerly. Every foot the elevator descends down is another thousand pounds of weight off her shoulders. She’s exhausted, and so close to home base. If she can just make it into the Atrium, she’ll have succeeded.

The elevator dings, rousing Stress from her daydreaming. “I really am dead on my feet, ain’t I?” she murmurs to herself.

She makes her way into one of the village houses, avoiding the pressure plates and tripwires which she knows like the back of her hand by now. In the house, she presses a button, which opens a door which leads to a tunnel. Sagging in relief, Stress practically melts across the floor as she traverses the short tunnel and finally makes it into Atrium 1-- a large circular room with a rounded ceiling and plenty of light.

“Woah, Stress!” Ren exclaims, running to support her. The dark circles under his eyes make him look as exhausted as she feels. He’s been working round the clock at the tree farm to churn out enough wood to meet the demands of twenty-four Hermits.

“Stress?” Ren asks with concern in his eyes, gently shaking Stress’s shoulders.

She laughs, high-pitched and wild. She’s done it. She’s really gone and done it!

“I got a shulker box,” she breathes.

Ren gasps. “What?! No way, they’re not even a thing on this server!”

“Yes they are,” Stress sing-songs, “because I have one.”

She tosses him the cyan shulker box with a look of pride on her face. Ren looks at the box in his hands, then back up at Stress with wide eyes.

“We gotta go show Xisuma, my dude.”

---

The Hermits convene in the small meeting room in the residential district, then realize that the room is in fact small and twenty-four Hermits aren’t going to fit in it. Xisuma’s having a good day, so he decides to hold the meeting in Atrium 1.

There are many different opinions on the acquisition of the shulker box, which sits innocently in the center of the room. Some people like Wels believe that even if it’s a great boon, it was stolen and therefore the Hermits don’t have the right to use it. Things were different when they first arrived in the canyon; they stole small things in order to survive. A shulker is nice to have, but the Hermits won’t die without it. On the other hand, there are people who side with Grian, who believes that since the Hermits already have the shulker box, they might as well use it.

Doc rumbles a deep hm, indicating that he’s debating with himself whether he should say something or not. Finally, it seems that the side of him which wants to tell his fellow Hermits wins out.

“Have you guys considered shulker box duping?” he says. Immediately, there is a clamor of outcries, both for and against, as well as just plain disbelieving.

Tango speaks up: absolutely not. It’s cheating. False tentatively rebuts, though, that sometimes cheating is acceptable when it's for a good cause. After all, part of her season 7 base was dug out using TNT dupers. Mumbo awkwardly raises his hand and waits for someone to acknowledge him, which Grian does.

“Er… what if we give it back after we’re done with it?” Mumbo says. Tango still looks unhappy, but the idea seems to appease Wels.

“Friends,” Xisuma says softly. Everyone quiets down immediately. “Should we have a civil vote, or shall I decide?”

Immediately, everyone gets shamed into behaving. “We can vote,” Bdubs says. “Everyone in favor of not cheating?”

“Wait, what are our options?” Grian asks.

“Er,” Scar speaks up. “Keeping the box but not duping it, giving the box back, duping it then giving it back, or duping it and not giving the original back. Is that right?”

Bdubs nods. “Yeah! So, all in favor of keeping the one original box?” A few hands go up, maybe five or six.

“Giving the box back?” More hands go up.

“Duplicating the box, then giving it back?” Nearly a dozen hands go up.

“Well then,” Bdubs says, “I guess I don’t have to finish the options; dupe-and-return wins.”

Doc strides into the center of the room and mines up the shulker box before anyone can change their mind; Tango grumbles good-naturedly at having lost the vote. Meanwhile, while everyone discusses the vote, Joe ferries Xisuma off to his quarters.

“So who’s going to give the shulker box back when we’re done with it, my dudes?” Ren asks the room at large.

“I will,” Stress says immediately. “I stole it; it’s only right that I give it back.”

---

Two days later, Punz wakes up to a noise in his house. He reaches for a knife under his pillow; just because there is no one to be seen doesn’t mean that no one’s there, as Punz is well aware given the theft of his shulker box, which he is still smarting over.

He gets out of bed, treading softly. Right there, in the doorway, is the same shulker box he lost! He looks around. This has to be a trap. No one is around… Punz might as well spring this trap.

He opens the box. Nothing is missing. In fact, there are more items inside than there were when it was stolen from him! A totem of undying, four diamond blocks, two ingots of netherite, and a note which reads, Sorry I stole your box! I only needed to borrow it, but I felt bad so I left some extra goodies in. xoxo

“...Huh?” Punz says to himself. This is the weirdest prank ever.

He puts the box back into his Ender chest and resolves to think about it in the morning.

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breadmasterspook · 2 years

Text

So I'm not into Hermitcraft but I've had stuff pop up on my feed across multiple platforms(Tumblr, YouTube, ect..). Becuase of this I've culminated the knowledge I have of it and I've written it down. Please enjoy.

Note: It's long asf

-Theres a girl named Tay. People love her irl and she is bi. I have no clue about her character.

-There is a man named doc. He is a robot creeper: Very cool. He's also gay. I think.

-There is Mumbo Jumbo. I know him. Everyone does. He is cool, 10/10 man.

-There is a guy names Grian. He is blonde and feral. Probably pg but he's a fucking menace(I think?)

-Theres also a plot about lives. I do not wish to know. It is confusing. 2/10 for creativeness.

-There is a pink man who si an axolotal. He is a twink. He has an evil counterpart who is not a twink. Also his evil counterpart is into capitalism and I can bug with that. Make yourself a life dude.

-There is a man with a smirk. He is a joke and malicious. Not to be trusted 0/10

-Congrats to that Tay woman they are calling Gem btw, good for her on coming out.

-Who is boatman crew?

-Apparently Joe cannot play hardcore. He is to powerful for the confines of nature. Who is Joe? Idk, maybe it's Joe Mama.

-Wtf is this about Grian's fucking waffle? Sounds rlly gay that Mumbo 'inherited' it. I know what that really means you sinners.

-There is a giant wolf man. He fluffy and sweet. Love him. 10/10, self explanatory.

-Theres this guy names Helter?? I think he's also Mumbo?? He got stabbed I think.

-There is a meaty black man with a big smile and big eyes. He probably has nice eyelashes and he is a male thot enemy of state. Very cool. 10/10 for lashes and thotness.

-Grian has wings??

-Theres a girl names Pearl. She's cool. Fandom doesn't give her enough personality for me to have an opinion. Give her more.

-There are lovecraftian horror types monsters now???

-There is a hole. It is run by the mysterious boatmen people who seem to be evil but loved. The hole is theorized on. Very cool.

-There is a man with a Kakashi skin. He is very cool and I like him for this reason alone. Very old and experienced in minecraft, good for him. Would like to see more of him if I could find him

-There are two guys names Urge and Jazz. I can't figure out who is who but they look cool.

-There are two wemon named Cleo and Stress. They are cool and pretty. I would also like their personalities to shine through more in the Fandom. They deserve it

-There are guys named bdubs and jevin? I can't figure out who is who and I think one of them is the jelly dude.

-There is a man named Scar who does bad things. Good for him. 7/10 for chaoticness.

-There is a crew with big eyes and the jelly man is in there aswell. There is also a man named Tango. Five points to him(?) for the cool name

-Wait Grian's a wither hybrid now?? What is going on with this guy?!

-Etho is a man to be proud of. Good job buddy.

-Theres a hippie? I think he's the Rendog guy but I'm not sure

-MUMBO TOOK SOMEONE'S SOUL?!??!!!

-Who is this Impulsive man and where does he come from.

-Theres a guy names Terrible and I think he's also the Jelly guy?? Why does everyone have so many names

#hermitcraft

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goosedawn · 3 years

Note

i've never listened to Friends At The Table (though it's on my list now, dnd campaigns podcast wooo!) what would the storyline of the crossover entail? with the HermitCraft characters i'm guessing it's chaotic and interesting 😊

:0!!!! :DDD!!!!!!! if u end up giving it a shot i hope u enjoy it! they dont actually play dnd, they play a bunch of other tabletop games which are all really neat also! (also if u need a suggestion for where to start if/when u get to it, feel free to drop me an ask)

the story follows the typical structure of "group is sent off to do tasks for money, and eventually realise something bigger is going on" so i am largely following the plot in that way, where groups of adventurers are sent out to investigate a series of towers that appear to have some connection to the gods of the world. ajhsjjejhfhjef most of my thoughts about the au are more character based,, so instead of a proper plot summary i can give details and thoughts on where some of the hermits fit into everything so far (while. trying to avoid the big twists revealed in the podcast ig,,?) i also ended up including some sleepybees (sbi + beeduo) in the au but im still not 100% sure on where they fit in (as in i have too many ideas djhdkndnj)

ANYWAY uhhhh some spoilers for the universe im basing this off of, under the cut cos it got long :'D

context/setting:

the specific arc/universe that this au is set in is the one from Seasons in Hieron (SiH) which is their fantasy season! (its. its long,, this arc spans i think. 3 seasons? plus a short interlude season)

the setting was previously a traditional fantasy world that had some sort of great catastrophe (the Erasure) happen, and the current world is after people have rebuilt a new society! its described as "post-fantasy, post-post-apocalyptic" its very fun and subversive and afhdjfbj the worldbuilding is just. real good :>

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characters:

im still figuring out where different hermits fit into the au but i am basically taking aspects of various characters from the podcast and splitting roles and traits to hermits, so its all mixed up! also,, there are just. so many hermits,, i have not found places for all of them (not even most of them i dont think) but here is what i have so far:

impulse and zedaph work in the New Archives (a series of huge warehouse-like archives run by the orcs of this world!) impulse is an orc, zed is not! impulse works to retrieve artifacts for the archive, and zed,, hes just kinda there. learning and experimenting with pattern magic (a type of magic done by arranging and rearranging things in specific configurations, often they are obscure and weird things like "27 brown birds in a tree, 5 table legs, 500 buttons, 16 steps to the east" etc.) when the story finds them they are studying a fallen tower in the center of the Mark of the Erasure (a location still showing the effect of the great cataclysm that befell the world)

tango vaguely takes the role of Ephraim, prince of something or rather,,, idk man hes cool and has fire powers, very anime. his powers were a gift from the gods, and he goes on to hv close relations w them! he meets up with impulse and zed later on and become fast friends obviously

joe is an expert in pattern magic, and is on the run from the archives after having stolen a pretty nondescript notebook. its a nice notebook! hes just a human guy. he writes and recites poetry in order to do pattern magic using the notebook!

cleo hails from the city of *Nacre*, where people get multiple chances at life. people from there can get killed but will exist on as zombies, then if they are killed again, they exist as ghosts, and then they pass away fully. she is an undead pirate captain that joe somehow manages to sway over to their side ahjbhfbjf,, she is hunting down the lost prince/king of Nacre.

wels is a pala-din (pal-ah-deen, rather than paladin), a sort of living marble statue that serves one of the gods in the pantheon.

scar is ofc, a wizard! it. it should be noted that wizards dont really exist in this world, people who perform and study magic are mages, not wizards,, "wizard" is kind of a weird term to use sjbdbjhfjjhb scar takes place of The Great Fantasmo in the podcast, and similarly has an invisible assistant! he doesnt seem to remember much of his past...

cubfan works in Velas, a fishing town where the story "begins" he does not enjoy talking to scar, and seems to be sad whenever hes around. perhaps scar reminds him of someone, or perhaps of better times...

tfc hes a priest aagsuijdjhkdgjdkihwhjvd i swear theres a reason for this later,, the role of the npc alyosha is somewhat split between tfc and cub!

-----

others i have thoughts on but im not settled on yet:

im debating having xisuma as part of the pantheon, but if not, he would be a druid so he can shapeshift into animals sjbakjnsnfjb he would take the general role of Fero in the story, but would also be kind of split with evil x, who captures... a certain stubbornness and deepset frustration Fero has in later times.

etho could take the place of Samol, the first god to exist. he is the embodiment of this world, and is kind of isolated and strange wbhshjhbdbhjdjbdkjn,, strange /pos. hes also. kind of dissapearing though... i wonder why :)

while theoratically i could have xisuma as samol cos. yknow. admin. i think the vibes and role just fit etho better

and... if i had etho as samol i think it could be fun to have doc and bdubs as other members of the pantheon, if u go with their dynamic from the start of s7 they even fit the divorced couple vibe two of the gods have /lh /hj (nho pantheon pog..? maybe. theres a total of 5 deities in the pantheon tho...)

im leaning toward either false + stress or maybe gem + pearl pairs for two of the goddesses in the pantheon, but thatd probably depend on if i can find a better place for them ;P

techno and phil take the role of red jack, and techno is a Huge Oni Dude >:] in canon red jack has a cool horse!!! it fits!! hes also. heavily implied to be kinda immortal?? anyway. im torn on this because techno and phil ALSO fit the roles of some of the player characters, with relation to the missing prince/king of Nacre but im still working things out,,

no matter whats up with them, ranboo takes the role of bluejay, redjacks son, meeting up with tubbo and tommy who take the place of benjamin, the son of one of the player characters. tubbo and tommy kind of. get sent to another dimension to keep them safe,,? and live in a lie for many years before they are brought back.

when i first thought about this au, i also thought about the whole. sending child off into fake dimension to live life, and of course. i thought about. grumbot ofc and originally planned to have mumbo or grian take the place of that player character abhdfvnbrvbn but it also implies one or both of them would be paladins (not pala-din! just the normal religious knight) AND have connections to tubbo and tommy which is. funny but ehhhh idk.

-----

and that. maybe probably somewhat incoherent train of thought is what i have for the au so far! its. still very much a work in progress so thank you if you stuck through all that!! ive still got a lot to think abt in the au,,,, lots to figure out ;P hopefully i can iron it out a bit more in the future, but its fun to think about for the time being

#goosegoes #not g/t #i lost so many words from this draft #i kept forgetting to save it #anyway its like 2am ajbanjkjrjhfjdk i should sleep #anon #again thank u for asking aabjhskjnjkrhjbrjhjk #even if u dont read all of that it means a lot that u showed interest 💛#obscure crossover au

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writing-the-end · 4 years

Text

Exodus- Part 5

Previous Chapter

An Edolas Hermit Story (AU Belongs to @theguardiansofredland )

A stranger has been found in the forests of Edolas, unconscious and unanswering to the questions the Edolas Hermits have. Who is he, and why does he look like a friend they lost long ago? Why is he so badly wounded? Why does he have a broken clock?

Why has the ocean stopped taking Zed and Tango’s wishes?

--------------------------------------------------------

Part five is my favorite part- I’ll tell you that. Finally reaching edolas, and getting to have fun with the wacky characters that Red has come up with! And, since Edolas is a world of opposite hermits, we decided that yes- Jellie is a dog. A good girl.

Warning: This story contains general dark elements and language

________________________________

“Jellie! Come here girl!” Scar whistles, clapping his hands together as he continues along the dirt trail through the forests of Edolas. Tall, cozy spruce trees offer a fresh pine scent, the detritus beneath Scar’s shoes a tangle of soft needles and bark. The dark wood offers a muted, calming sensation for Scar.

Jellie barks off in the distance, but doesn’t return to her owner’s side. That’s unusual...Jellie almost always comes when called. The only time she doesn’t is when food is on her mind. Scar hops off the path, following the barking through the winding maze of trees. He picks up the pace as Jellie’s barks turn into a whine.

“What’s wrong, pretty lady?” Scar whispers as soon as he spots the dark coated dog. Scar’s next sentence falters in his throat as he sees the body. Face down in the dirt, surrounded by stones, an unmoving figure lays. White bandages, fraying and bloody, wrap around his arm. Brown, wispy hair is dirty with grass and mud, caking down the remnants of a white buttonup shirt. Black trousers are torn and covered with dirt, one leg bloody both on the fabric and skin. In one hand, a busted clock is still firmly held onto- even with the person obviously not conscious or even alive. Scar sighs. “Xisuma needs to stop dumping bodies in the woods.”

Scar reaches out to pull Jellie away from the corpse, but she plants her paws into the dirt and refuses to leave the side of the person. It’s not until Scar is forced to get closer that he realizes why- it’s not a corpse. He’s still breathing. Holy shit he’s still alive. Scar begins to panic, unsure who to turn to. This isn’t exactly his expertise, dealing with something like this. Who is?

Scar calls the only person he can think of at this moment in time. Cub. He starts to pace around the clearing, too afraid to get close to the body. Jellie stays near instead, laying her head gently on the boy’s back. Keeping his body warm, her fur comforting. Finally, after 3 times going to voicemail, Cub picks up the phone. “Is everything alright, buddy?”

“No, everything isn’t ‘alright’. Things are super fucking weird, Cub.” Scar can’t help but snap, looking back at the form still laying in the dirt. “I...I found something.”

“Something? What kind of something?” Cub’s voice is calm and soothing, a fatherly tone that Scar has come to rely on so much.

“I...it’s a person. He’s still alive, but...I dunno, I think this is some sort of cult thing. He’s wearing some really nice trousers and shirt, but they’re torn to hell and back. He’s got bandages, and surrounded by rocks and theres a clock and…” Scar doesn’t know what else to say. This is too odd, too much for him all to take in.

“Take a deep breath, Scar. I’ll get some others to come out, and we’ll take a look at what you found. Just...make sure he stays alive.” Cub hangs up, leaving Scar to the silence of the forest and the occasional whimper of Jellie. The boy’s chest continues to rise and fall, but Scar doesn’t dare reach out and push him onto his back.

Thankfully, he wasn’t far from the others. Cub, Keralis, and Bdubs appear in the clearing, all stopping dead as they see the body. Bdubs shrinks behind the others, peeking over Keralis’s shoulder. “Oh my god…”

Cub stoops low, taking a gentle hold of the boy’s unharmed arm and checking his vitals. His pulse is steady. “Let’s get this kid to the infirmary. Looks like he needs it.”

Keralis helps Cub gather the boy in his arms. Scar can’t help but watch with Bdubs, both a little too shocked as the others roll over the body and see his face. It’s covered in dirt, caked with sweat and a little bit of blood. But it looks exactly like the face of a person they thought was long gone. No, that’s not right. It’s just coincidence, people look the same all the time. Scar won’t entertain that idea any further. They just need to focus on getting to the infirmary.

----------------------------------------------------

Wind blusters across the sea, white capped waves pounding against Zedaph and Tango’s bare legs. Behind them, sand whips and scratches at anyone who dares to be in it’s path.

But no amount of wind, not hell or high water will stop the duo from their daily ritual. When even Zed’s beliefs change, this is still constant. A tradition, no matter what else is going on around them. Tango’s elegant, cursive writing is slipped into the clear glass bottle that Zed had brought. Tango opens a single, white feathered wing to protect his friend from the angry sand behind them, daring to blister their skin from the beach. He stays silent as Zed whispers out the same wish every single day. “Please, bring him back.”

Salty tears fall from Zed’s eyes, mixing with the ocean around them, just another drop in the sea awash with their pain. They’ve been doing this for years, but every time it still feels as fresh as the day they lost him. Zed caps the bottle, and throws it out with all his might. Beyond the angry turmoil of the surf.

The two remain ankle deep in the ocean, silent and staring. Searching for some sign, any sign that their prayers have been answered. They know it’s impossible, but they still do it. They saw him sink, trapped in the ropes and sails. A gentle smile as he assured them everything would be alright.

But it’s not alright. Tango and Zed are without their best friend, left with a hole in both their hearts. A bed empty in their shared apartment. Zed rubs his tearstained face into Tango’s shoulder, comforted only by his large white wings as they wrap around Zed. The two are about to return to shore, until Zed feels something brush up against his foot.

The bottle. It returned to them. Zed picks it back up, and throws the bottle again. Beyond the surf once more. “No, no. You go out to sea.”

“It’s never done that before.” Tango breathes. He feels sick to his stomach as the bottle returns again, carried on the white waves back to rest at his feet. He stoops low, plucking the bottle as it brushes against his legs. It has to go out to sea. Every single time Impulse showed them this tradition, he said the sea would take their wish. And grant it. He takes off, flying well past the waves, dropping the bottle into the sea.

But by the time he returns to Zedaph, the bottle is back in his friend’s hands. Zed’s anger grows, grabbing the glass bottle. What was once something the two teased to Impulse, was now their only lifeline, their only way to process and grieve his loss. “Take the fucking wish!” Zed screams, reeling back and throwing the bottle as far as he can. He stumbles into the sea, collapsing to his hands and knees. “Take the god damn wish and give us our friend back!”

Tango pulls Zed back to his feet, careful to be sure he doesn’t get a mouthful of water and drown. Drown like Impulse did. Zed’s cries turn into quiet prayers, angry curses at the gods who won’t listen and desperate pleas to those that will. Wishing for a miracle they know will never happen, but still desperately beg for.

The two retreat, grabbing their shoes and rolling their pants back down. Fighting the heavy wind and stinging sand, neither look back. Because they know it’s sitting there again. Spit back out by the ocean.

It’s a quiet walk back to the guild, back to town. It always is quiet, both lost in thoughts and memories. Of easier days, warmer days. When the sun was warmer and shone through their best friend’s smile. When laughter filled their apartment so loud that their neighbors- even Cleo- would yell back for them to shut up.

Zed is the first to notice that things are busy with the guild. Joe nearly knocks Tango over, running to the infirmary with a handful of bandages. Zedaph looks at Tango, both sharing confused looks, before following after the mercenary. Inside the infirmary, most of their friends are there too. Talking in small groups, trading information in whispers and passing papers.

Tango grabs Mumbo as he makes his way towards the exit, fingers wrapping into the leather of Mumbo’s jacket. “Mumbo...what’s going on?”

Mumbo turns, smoothing out his mustache and hair. He’s the only one that doesn’t seem at all frazzled. “Eh, Scar found a body out in the forest- turns out the body is still working. Now they’re trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Stuff way beyond my capacity, dude.”

“A person?” Zed echoes, frowning.

Mumbo shrugs. “Yeah… though he kinda reminds me of Impulse. Looks exactly like him.”

Zed and Tango share shocked glances, and Tango immediately lets go of Mumbo as they sprint past the others, ignoring the shouts. Mumbo simply shrugs, walking out and sauntering to the nearest bar. Not the strangest thing to happen to him.

"Should've known you two would come." Cub states as the two barge into the room.

"Is it really him?" Zed's voice betrays his disbelief. He wants it to be true, for all those gods he's dedicated himself to finally be answering his prayers. Tango flutters closer, peeking around the blinds to see.

"I...I truly doubt its Impulse. He just looks like him." Cub sighs, watching the hope on the two's faces collapse. They creep closer all the same, getting a good look at the stranger in the hospital bed.

Dark brown hair, wispy and unruly, frames a pale and weak face. Even unconscious, the stranger's brows are furrowed together as if he's thinking through some complex problem. He's wearing a torn up white shirt, the buttons lost or in the wrong hole and the tail of the shirt untucked. His hips and legs disappear under the bed's covers, but one foot has been pulled out. White bandages wrap around his ankle, spots of red slowly growing.

And then there's his arm. Opposite of the arm that the stranger's IV is protruding from, red and black catch the pair's attention. Underneath a slick coat of medicinal salve, angry red skin and dark burns surround a series of letters and numbers tattooed under the skin. Zed points to the arm opposite of him. "What is all that?"

"We...aren't really sure." Ren whispers, setting his quill down from taking notes. "Scar thinks its some kind of cult thing, Xisuma says maybe an experiment of sorts. But without him awake, we won't be able to tell for sure."

But while Zed is focused on the tattoo, Tango can't take his eyes off of the stranger's neck. Black, blue, and purple marks ring around the skin, the surrounding area inflamed. The bruises are tight against the person's neck, nestled at the juncture of jaw to spine. Right on his trachea.

Cub notices Tango’s gaze. "Someone else did that, poor kid. Someone tried to kill him. And nearly succeeded."

For Tango and Zed, its like seeing a ghost. It looks exactly like Impulse, from his hair all the way to the dirt under his fingernails. But it can't be true. This isn't really Impulse. Just someone who looks like him. But how much they both want it to be real.

Tango looks up, seeing fluorescent light glinting off of something on the bed stand. It’s not like anything else in the infirmary- dirty brass against the sterile white and silver of the room. Tango flits over the bed, picking up the item. It’s dented, with the clock face ripped open. Trapped at twilight hour, not quite daylight and not quite nighttime. “Was this with him?”

Cub nods. “I don’t know why, but he wouldn’t let go of it. Even unconscious, we had to pry his fingers off it.”

Zed peeks over Tango’s shoulder and wings, violet eyes taking in the damage. It’s quite broken- but not destroyed. The two look at each other, then the stranger, and finally the clock. “We… let’s see if we can do something with this.”

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mark-absolutelyfullycapable-lee · 5 years

Text

A Little Jealousy [1] | Lee Taeyong

Summary: Taeyong gets a little too overprotective, and that can cause him to get in trouble—with you and the law.

Pairing: Taeyong x Reader

Genre: angst, sum fluff, slightly yandere!yong

Warnings: some swearing, fighting, jealousy, kinda yandere

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: LET ME START OFF BY SAYING BAD BOY IN LOVE - LEE DONGHYUCK IS COMING SOON!!!!! butttttt my manz Taeyong ;))) nsajbchjbwjbcd this is kinda angst. i’m sorry!!! but it’ll end all good. i was in a relationship for a while where my boyfriend was really jealous and didn’t like my guy friends and lemme tell you, it’s not fun or cool. as much as people write about how jealousy is “cute” it can be something that breaks relationships and friendships and it could even lead to abuse. yeah, everyone can get jealous but if it ever gets out of hand, tell someone. ahhhh sorry for all my speeches i always put but i care about you guys and i don’t ever want you to be sad :(( i love you guys and thanks for the support!

so let’s start with how you and Tae came to be

you met Taeyong at a concert two years ago

One of your friends bought you a ticket to a summer festival for your birthday

since you always spoke about how much you wanted to experience one

at first, you were worried about going to a crowded concert alone

because

let’s be honest

you were scared to go to the movies by yourself

how could you go to a whole day long festival alone?

but for some reason as soon as you got there

you felt comfortable

you stood in the crazy long line

and watched the people around you

laugh and talk with their friends

you kind of wished you had someone to talk to as well

well this is where ur boi Taeyong comes in

its like he read your mind

because as you stood there thinking about how lonely you must look,

he was wondering how he should approach you

he was in line directly behind you and tbh he thought you were pretty cute

but you were by yourself and for some reason that made him sad

but happy at the same time bc he was alone too

so after thinking about it for wayyyy too long

he just taps your shoulder on impulse

“hey i’m taeyong. are you here alone? i’m here alone too.”

and that’s where it started for you guys

you spent that whole day together and even ended up swapping phone numbers

you thought Taeyong was so sweet and nice

and he was

but from the beginning

he definitely had a softer side for you and you only

so you guys began hanging out when ever you both were free

and it got to the point where you guys would adjust your schedules just so you could find time to be together

and of course, you both started developing feelings for each other

Taeyong was the first to confess his feelings

it was kind of unexpected

you guys had planned a day at the board walk

there were boats you could rent so you and Taeyong decided to try them out

so here you guys were

in the middle of this lake

just chillin in a boat

when out of nowhere, Taeyong just says it

“y/n, i like you.”

you were shocked, to say the least bc

you never thought someone like Taeyong would actually like you back

but after he further explained his feelings, you were beyond ecstatic

Taeyong asked you to be his

and bam

you guys were together

throughout your relationship with Taeyong, you’ve noticed the little things that irritate him, make him smile, make him upset

all his little quirks

and you have come to be quite good at reading his emotions

even when he looks like he’s happy, he could be angry

when he looks upset, he could actually be relieved of something

basically, you have just come to know him like the back of your hand

sooo now that we’ve explained all of that, let’s get to present time

you and Taeyong have been together for a little over a year now at this point

before you guys started even dating, he met your friends

so it was normal for both you and Taeyong to show up to your friend’s parties

you two are currently on your way to one of your best friends bday parties

your best friend Johnny literally rented out a whole ass bdubs just to throw his birthday party

this kid is extra

but you and Taeyong decide to walk from your place, since it’s not that far from the restaurant

it’s a little chilly outside, even with Taeyong’s coat around your shoulders

“are you still cold?” Taeyong asks you

you nod

Taeyong puts his arm around you, trying to warm you up more

you’re pretty happy in your relationship right now

Taeyong is even more of a gentleman than before

he’s perfect in your eyes

and you’re perfect in his

all you’ve been is good to him

and best believe that he shows you his appreciation

whenever Taeyong is going through a rough time, whether it’s with his family or he’s just having a bad day

you are always there for him

and he honestly feels like he is the luckiest man on the planet because he has you

Taeyong glances down at you as you guys reach the restaurant

he thinks you look great tonight

as he pulls open the door for you, he smiles to himself

he walks in behind you and brings you closer to him

“let’s go find Johnny.” you tell him as you grab his hand

Johnny’s party was packed

it’s no surprise tho, because he’s a social butterfly who just love, love, loves meeting new peeps

you and Tae squeeze through people, trying to look for Johnny

even though it’s making you lowkey claustrophobic you see so many friends you haven’t seen in a while

so it’s nice

after some more maneuvering you guys spot Johnny

but before you can get to him you and Taeyong hear your name

”Y/N!”

you turn to see the one and only Wong Yukhei

your first love

”Yukhei!” you yell back as you spin to hug him

Taeyong follows close behind you, eyeing Yukhei

Tae knows exactly who Yukhei is

before you and Tae began dating, he had seen the pictures of you two on your instagram

he didn’t like him for the simple fact that he once had you

“How are you? It’s been so long! You look amazing!” Yukhei compliments

as you two chat, it feels as if Taeyong isn’t there

he watches you and Yukhei talk

he can just feel the anger rise within him

Taeyong pushes himself next to you, making his presence obvious to Yukhei (as if it wasn’t before but ok yongie)

”oh, Yukhei! this is Taeyong.” you introduce him

”y/n’s boyfriend.” Taeyong adds, glaring at Yukhei

”oh, hello. i’m Yukhei.” he says awkwardly

Yukhei holds his hand out for Taeyong to shake

but what does Tae do?

he stares at his hand, not even flinching

you nudge him, beginning to feel embarrassed by his behavior

Yukhei awkwardly retracts his hand

“well, i guess i’ll see you around, y/n.”

you nod before waving bye to him

as you watch Yukhei walk away, you feel Yong grab your arm

you shake him off bc ur seriously annoyed and embarrassed that he acted like that to Yukhei, who has always been nothing but nice

before you can walk away Taeyong grabs you again

“where are you going y/n?” Taeyong is hot on your heels as you continue trying to walk away from him towards Johnny

Johnny sees you two and smiles

but of course as soon as he sees the expression on your face, his smile fades

“what’s wrong guys?”

instead of you telling him the real reasons you look annoyed,

ur bf decides to tell him what he saw

“that Yukhei kid, her ex? yeah he was getting too close to her.”

yeah, he really said that

“are you serious?” you say to Taeyong

Taeyong doesn’t see why you’re so mad

but the fact that you’re angry is making him angry

he was only trying to protect your relationship

he just couldn’t lose you to someone else--especially your ex and first love

because you know what they say

you never really forget your first love

but Taeyong wants to make you forget him

he wishes you two could have met earlier so he could have been your first love

it’s not fair

but since he has you now, he’ll love you more and better than Yukhei ever could have

you roll your eyes and begin to move towards Johnny

“he’s acting rude and jealous for no reason. we’ve almost been together for two years!” you spill to him

as you stand by your best friend, Taeyong honestly feels irritated bc

you should be thankful that he cares that much

right?

“we’ve been together for a while, but you were basically flirting with your ex!”

Taeyong yells, causing a bunch of people to look over

“i was not flirting! if you think asking how someone’s been is flirting, then you need some serious help.” you’re done with him

Taeyong has never acted like this for as long as you’ve known him

why is he starting to now?

out of everyone who heard your voices, Yukhei happened to be one

“is there a problem?” he asks, stepping in front of you and johnny

(Johnny is honestly shook)

Taeyong is #$***//FUMING\\***$#

“our conversations are none of your business” he steps towards Yukhei

“you’re shouting for everyone else to hear” Yukhei fires back

you squeeze between the two--who have not broken eye contact

“guys, stop” you say, glancing at the both of them

“no, this guy is gonna get what’s coming to him” Taeyong tries stepping closer to Yukhei

“Tae! stop!” you yell as you try to push him away from Yukhei, who’s being held back by Johnny

“why are you defending him, y/n? i’m your boyfriend, not him!”

by now, everyone has stopped what they were doing, and they’re paying attention to the current situation

Jaehyun has joined you in trying to keep Taeyong back

but of course you can’t really hold two grown men lmao back

Jaehyun cannot hold Taeyong back

he’s moving forward

he is so ready to fight

and so is Yukhei

you try to get in the middle

but unfortunately

when some people get to their breaking points, they black out and don’t realize what they’re doing

Taeyong seems to be one of those people

without thinking, he pushes you away

but it wasn’t just a soft push

Taeyong seemed to use all his strength which resulted in you falling to the floor, quite hard

but as soon as he’s done it

everyone becomes quiet

he realizes his mistake almost immediately after

“y-y/n, i’m--i didn’t”

you’re shocked

never in a million years did you think Taeyong would do something of the sort

“dude i think you should leave” Johnny tells Taeyong as both him and Jaehyun help you up

“wait y/n--”

“Tae, leave.” Jaehyun demands as they take you away from the situation

you can feel the tears beginning to form in your eyes

“y/n, baby i’m--”

this time you stop yong

“we’re done” you say as you turn around to leave with Jaehyun

tears are streaming down your face and you’re embarrassed that any of that just happened

Jaehyun quickly gets you to his car while Johnny trails behind

you turn to Johnny as hug him like your life depended on it

“i’m so sorry for ruining your birthday” you sob

Johnny pats your back “you didn’t ruin my birthday. plus, you know i love when the three of us spend time together.” he tries making you feel better

but you feel absolutely horrible

Jaehyun speeds up the process of you getting into the car when you three see Taeyong come out of the venue

“i’ll take care of this. go on, i’ll be there soon.” Johnny closes your door before Jaehyun reverses the car

after what Taeyong did, you don’t know if you’ll ever be able to look at him the same again

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