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#and it makes me think of this concept a lot
sunkissed-zegras · 2 days
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𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐘 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐏𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒 𝐎𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒 / 𝐖𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐒 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐃𝐎 ─ PB⁵
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౨ৎ ─ summary | request! -> "paige with teammate!reader? it’d be soo cute i think" | you and paige were best friends on and off the court, and after an exhilarating win you spend the time together, relishing in the win (and each other)
─ word count | 2.7k
─ warnings | mention of drinking/partying, slightly suggestive, just idiots who are in love with one another, touchy paige (obvs), slightly oblivious reader, energy drink abuse 🤑, lots of teasing/banter, confession that turns into ... A SWEET KISS DUHHH
─ taglist | @xocherishxo @iienstein @yazmunson @euphternal @boiliatfu and here's a link to my taglist if anyone would like to join!!
─ ev's notes | i hope y'all enjoyed, this may a little too fast-paced but i would totally be down to writing a whole full-fleshed out fic on just this concept cus it's so cute! anyway, enjoy!
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"THERE IS NO WAY we're gonna drink right now," Azzi yawned as she leaned back into the hotel bed.
You and Paige exchanged glances before laughing, your expressions both mirroring one another. You were both still high off of the win, you weren't sure how everyone was up right now screaming with excitement. But there was still some exhaustion lingering in Paige's expression ─ of course you didn't blame her, she'd played the entire time.
The whole team was downstairs celebrating right now but the three of you decided to take a short break and go back to Azzi's room to relax. That 'short' break turned into fifteen minutes and then now, it's been almost forty.
"I'm gonna go to bed," Azzi continued.
You groaned dramatically as you rolled your eyes. "Oh come on, Azzi."
Before Paige could join you, Azzi gave you both a pointed look. You realized that there was no way either of you could convince her to come back downstairs so you just sighed. You and Paige glanced at each other again before she gestured to get up and the both of you got up from Azzi's bed.
You got up and made your way to the door while Paige followed behind you. "So, we gonna go back downstairs or..."
"My room?" Paige's eyebrows raised as you gave her a grin and nodded. Paige's hand instinctively found a place on the small of your back as she began leading you to her room.
As she led you to her room, you couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement mixed with a tinge of nervousness. Sure, you and Paige had been close friends for years, but there was always an underlying tension between you, something unspoken yet very noticable.
Once inside Paige's room, she closed the door behind you with a soft click. The room was dimly lit, the only source of light coming from the bedside lamp casting a warm glow across the room.
Paige didn't waste any time, she crashed into the bed with a thud and an exhausted groan as you let out a small laugh. "I'm so sore," she groaned as you joined her on the bed.
She glanced up to meet your gaze with a smile. "How tired are you, from like... one to ten?"
"Maybe like... a six?" You responded as you leaned back on the headboard. "Why?"
"Just wanted to make sure you won't fall asleep, like last time." Paige teased as you rolled your eyes.
"That was one time!" You you protested with a playful swat at Paige's arm. "And I was exhausted from the bus ride, you can't blame me for dozing off."
Paige chuckled as she sat up and scooted closer to you. "Sure, sure. We'll just have to make sure tonight is more exciting than whatever boring movie we were watching last time."
"Yeah well, I don't think I'm falling asleep. I had like, three redbulls." You mention casually as Paige's jaw drops slightly.
"Dude, that's so bad for you." Paige's expression was filled with concern but she couldn't help the amusement in her tone. "Jeez, you're gonna have a heart attack right here, on my bed."
You shrugged nonchalantly, a smirk playing at the corners of your lips. "It's worth it for the win, don't you think?"
Paige chuckled, shaking her head in amusement. "You're crazy, you know that?"
"Yeah, but you love me anyway," you teased, nudging her playfully with your elbow.
Paige's laughter filled the room, warm and infectious. "Yeah, yeah, I guess I do," she admitted with a smile, her eyes softening as she looked at you.
You noticed how her gaze lingered on your features for far longer than any friend would have and you definitely didn't miss the way she wet her lips as she looked away. Your stomach flipped and you felt yourself begin to feel warm, you had no idea why little things like that made your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.
Was it just the adrenaline from the game, or was there something more?
"Have you showered yet?" Paige asked, seemingly out of nowhere as you laughed at her randomness.
"Yeah, right after the game. Did you?"
Paige sighed as she leaned back into the bed, a yawn escaping her lips. "I did but only my body, I haven't washed my hair. I wanna shower but I also wanna stay here, with you."
"Well you can do both," you replied as Paige's smirk widened. You quickly rolled your eyes as a blush began to appear on your face. "Not like that, I meant you can shower and then I'll just hang out in your room."
"Or you can come in the bathroom with me," Paige got up from the bed. "So we can talk and stuff, just look away when I'm naked."
You couldn't help but laugh at Paige's suggestion, the blush on your cheeks deepening at the thought of being so close to her in such an intimate setting.
"Are you sure about that?" you teased, trying to hide your nerves behind a playful tone.
Paige shrugged nonchalantly. "Why not? It's not like we haven't seen each other naked before."
You chuckled nervously, you couldn't argue with that logic. Your cheeks flush at the memory of the countless times you and Paige had shared changing rooms or gone swimming together.
After years of friendship, there were few boundaries left between you and Paige. Still, the idea of being alone with her in the warm confines of the bathroom sent a rush of nervousness through you.
"Yeah, but this is different," you pointed out, feeling a flutter of excitement mixed with nervousness at the prospect.
Paige's smile softened, and she reached out to gently squeeze your hand. "It's okay, I promise I won't make it weird. We're just two friends hanging out, right?"
"Fine, okay." You sighed as you let Paige pull you into the bathroom. You quickly faced the door as Paige ran the water to the hottest temperature.
As Paige stepped into the shower, you took a seat on the closed toilet lid, trying your best to keep your gaze averted as she began to lather up her hair. You kept your gaze fixed firmly on the door, trying to ignore the tantalizing temptation of stealing a glance at Paige. I mean, if she was in your situation, she definitely wouldn't have hid her ultimate glimpse.
Paige's voice broke through your thoughts, pulling you back to the present moment. "So, how's your shoulder feeling after the game?"
You blinked, grateful for the distraction. "Oh, it's not too bad," you replied. You had injured your shoulder at practice a couple weeks ago and it didn't hurt too bad anymore, Paige was just being over-protective.
Paige nodded, her movements becoming more relaxed. "That's good. I almost lost my shit when that girl hit your shoulder, I thought she hurt you or something."
You laughed as you shook your head. "I know, I could tell. It got us a foul shot, didn't it?"
Paige chuckled, a hint of relief evident in her voice. "I know, a win's a win. I'm glad it didn't hurt too bad, though. I would've killed her if she got you even more injured,"
You grinned at Paige's protective streak, appreciating the fierce loyalty she had always shown you. "I don't doubt it for a second,"
"Good cus I would've, trust me." Paige joked as she finished up her shower and stepped out, causing you to shut your eyes. Paige laughed as she rolled your eyes at your dramatics.
"Alright, drama queen," Paige teased, reaching for a towel to dry off. "You can open your eyes now."
You both made your way out of the bathroom, you got on the bed with a thud as Paige began to get dressed. You kept your eyes on the phone screen, ignoring Paige's laughter. After she'd gotten dressed, she put on her glasses on got into bed.
You felt the mattress shift as Paige settled in beside you, her warmth radiating against your side. You finally tore your gaze away from your phone screen, unable to resist the urge to sneak a glance at her. She looked effortlessly beautiful, her hair still slightly damp from the shower, her glasses perched on her nose.
"You played good tonight," Paige spoke as she smiled contently at you. This moment felt really intimate, the dimmed lights and the warmth of being so close to Paige. "And you looked so damn good," her tone was amused but you didn't miss the slightly serious undertone beneath her words.
"Thanks," your voice was soft as you returned her smile, feeling a warmth spread through you at her compliment. "You were amazing out there too but I'm sure you don't need me to tell you."
Paige's smile widened at your words, a hint of color rising to her cheeks. "Well, it wouldn't hurt," she joked as you let out a chuckle. "But seriously, though," she continued, her gaze locking with yours, "you looked incredible tonight. I couldn't take my eyes off you."
Your heart skipped a beat at Paige's words, it was rare for her to be so openly affectionate and genuine, and yet here she was, laying her feelings bare for you to see.
Before you could gather your thoughts, Paige continued. "I'm proud of you, genuinely. Tonight was just kind of like..." she paused, unsure of how to say it. "I don't know, but I just admire you a lot. In more ways than one."
"What do you mean?" Your voice came out quiet and slightly breathless as your heart raced.
Paige laughed nervously. "I don't know, I've always thought you were really pretty. And super funny, you always match my vibe. You took care of me when I was injured and even in my worst moments I never felt like you were against me. I like being around you and like... it's different than with KK or Ice or anyone else on the team, or anyone else I know."
"Am I... uh, making you uncomfortable?" Paige spoke after a pause.
You took a moment to process Paige's words, feeling a whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Her confession caught you off guard, but at the same time, it filled you with a sense of ease.
"No, God, no. Not at all," you reassured her quickly, your voice soft, reaching out to gently squeeze her hand. "I'm just... I'm really glad you feel that way. Because I feel the same, you know? Being around you, it's like... it's like being home."
If this was any other moment or any other person, you'd be cringing at that. But that was the honest-to-God truth and the only way you could possibly explain how she makes you feel.
Paige's gaze softened, a hint of relief flickering in her eyes. "Really?"
You nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Yeah, really. You're one of the most incredible people I know, Paige. And... I'm just really grateful to have you in my life."
"I've been meaning to tell you that for a while now," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I was scared of how you'd react. I didn't want to ruin our friendship or make things weird between us, especially with the team and all."
"Me too, I don't know when I started liking you like that but when I realized it, I was like 'oh shit'." You joked as you let out a nervous laugh, trying to lighten the mood.
Paige's lips curled into a grin, laughing along with you. "Yeah, 'oh shit' pretty much sums it up,"
There was a moment of silence for a couple seconds as you glanced back at Paige, feeling the weight of the moment. You'd just confessed your feelings for the girl you'd liked since... well, since the moment you'd met her, basically.
"So, what now?" You whispered as you broke the silence, feeling her gaze on you.
Paige's gaze softened as she met your eyes, a tender smile playing at her lips. She took your hand in her lap, pulling you closer. You mirrored her smile as her hand moved up to cup your cheek, you felt your breath hitch as her gaze moved down to your lips.
In that moment, time seemed to slow down as Paige's touch sent a rush of warmth coursing through you. You couldn't tear your eyes away from hers, the intensity of the moment holding you captive.
"We take things one step at a time," Paige whispered, her voice barely above a murmur, yet it echoed in the quiet space between you. "And right now, I want to be here with you."
Paige's gaze flickered up to meet yours, her eyes dark with emotion. "Is this okay?
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. "More than okay," you whispered, your voice barely audible above the pounding of your heart.
Paige leaned in closer, her breath mingling with yours as she closed the distance between you. The touch of her lips against yours was soft and careful, it felt like time slowed down. She pulled you even closer as you let her explore your mouth, letting a pleased noise.
You melted into the kiss, feeling a surge of emotion swell within you as Paige's warmth enveloped you in a comforting embrace. It was as if everything you had ever felt for her, every longing and desire, was finally being realized in one single, perfect moment.
Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the sweetness of the kiss, the world around you fading away as you surrendered to the overwhelming rush of excitement coursing through you.
You were too enveloped in the kiss to hear the hotel room open, the only thing either you felt was the weight of one another.
"Oh shit!" KK's voice made you two pull away from each other as quickly as you could, your eyes wide as you caught your breath. Ice quickly followed behind her, looking confused until she took in the scene in front of her.
You and Paige scrambled to compose yourselves, cheeks flushed and hearts racing as you exchanged glances. KK stood in front of the bed, her eyes wide with surprise but her lips curved into a smirk, while Ice stared at the two of you with a mixture of confusion and amusement.
"You owe me 50$ dollars," Ice blurted as she looked back at KK, a smile on her face.
"Shit, yeah. I should've listened to you and Aubrey." KK rolled her eyes as you and Paige exchanged confused looks.
"What are you talking about?" You asked, a note of confusion in your voice.
"We made a bet on whether you two would finally admit your feelings for each other tonight," Ice explained, her tone amused. "KK said that you guys would confess to each other later but me and Aubrey could tell, tonight would be the night."
Paige's eyebrows shot up in surprise, her lips forming an 'o' of realization. "Wait, you guys were betting on us?" she exclaimed, annoyance in her tone.
KK chuckled, nodding. "Uh, yeah. It wasn't like you guys hid it very well."
"Paige had the worst case of heart eyes I've ever seen... like ever," Ice added, unable to suppress a smirk. "I mean, it was practically written all over her face every time she looked at you."
Paige's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but she couldn't suppress a smirk at Ice's teasing. "Can you blame me? Have you seen her?"
Your cheeks flushed as you averted from their gaze, feeling a mix of embarrassment and flattery at Paige's words. You couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth spread through you at her compliment, even as you tried to conceal your blush.
Ice and KK exchanged amused glances, their smiles widening at the banter between you and Paige. "Well, I think it's safe to say the feeling's mutual," KK remarked with a grin.
You glanced back at Paige, feeling a surge of affection for her as you met her gaze.
"I take either cash or Apple Pay, your choice." Ice glanced at KK as she groaned, taking out her wallet. But your gaze didn't falter from Paige as her hand found yours under the blanket, squeezing it.
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↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !
↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡
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AITA for killing my character and quitting a D&D game I was part of?
Apologies in advance but this is going to be rather long, I'll put a TL;DR at the bottom.
So this all started about eleven months ago when I (14, she/they/he) started getting into D&D, and joined a D&D group thanks to a friend of mine we'll call T (14, he/they). The group was made up of about five people total, but the main people in this situation are me, T, and the DM who we'll call N (15, he/him).
Now when I was making my character, T was helping me out by letting me describe what sort of character I wanted and suggesting different races, classes etc to make it work how I wanted, and what we ended up with was a Pact of the Undead warlock. The backstory of my character was that their older brother died defending them from an invasion of the village they lived in.
My character managed to make contact with their spirit in the afterlife and formed a "pact" with them, gaining power in exchange for letting him "look after them" (i.e. keep watch over them from the afterlife, protect them from harm, all that sorta thing). T told me to run the final concept past N but that they were sure it'd be allowed and that the pact idea was really sweet.
So I told N about my character and the backstory idea like T suggested and N seemed really on board with the whole thing, though he wanted to make a few slight changes to things in secret that would come up during the campaign, to make things more exciting I guess.
I told him I was alright with that, as long as nothing about who the pact was with and what it was for changed too much. He assured me that it wouldn't and that he'd get back to me on what changes he was planning, but he never did, and at the time I just put that down to him being busy.
The campaign starts, and for the first few months things are going pretty good. I do notice that a lot of NPCs, in fact nearly every non-child NPC, seems to be flirting(?) with my character, but I don't think too much of it at first, she is a young elven woman with blonde hair and silver eyes and everyone in the group has said that she's very pretty.
It isn't until one of the others who is also playing an elven character points out that they've been on the receiving end of essentially racism towards elves from NPCs who have simultaneously been showering my character with compliments that I start realizing how frequent and honestly rather obsessive it is, and as mentioned, just how many of the NPCs are doing it.
Then we get to T's character arc, exploring his character's backstory and helping them with things that come up. However, there are certain characters that are introduced that, out of character, T reacts rather negatively to, and when I ask him outside of session what's going on he confides in me that N is changing elements of his backstory that he'd told him he didn't want changing. As an example, T wrote that their character's mother was never part of their character's life growing up.
One of the characters we met was the character's mother, who was instead apparently a very prominent part of their life and cared greatly about them "not that they ever noticed". He also changed the character of T's father from "kind and caring man who did his best to raise his child alone and teach them how to defend themselves" to "stubborn, angry and neglectful father that is constantly disappointed in his son", which completely blindsided and upset T.
T also said that he'd tried talking to N about this but that the response had ended up being, to put it bluntly, "I'm the DM so I have the final say in things". This started to worry me, especially when I realized that N had never gotten back to me with his "proposed changes" to my backstory.
So I sent him a message, but because I didn't want to drag T into my own business with N I decided to say something along the lines of "hey, did you ever figure out what you wanted to change about my backstory?". He messaged back and said that he'd figured it out, but that things with school were so busy that he hadn't had time to sit down and properly write it all out to send to me yet, but assured me that he would by the time T's arc was over.
Several more months passed with no further word from N about my character's backstory, and as T's arc wraps up there's this idea that starts getting brought up, of how demons often exploit the grief of mortals to latch onto them and claim their souls by impersonating the dead person.
The others in the group all latch onto this and start speculating about how exactly the demons use impersonation to claim souls, except for T who gives me this rather worried look from across the table, and it suddenly hits me that this is probably meant to be the opening of my character arc.
I pull N aside after the game is over for the night and ask him directly if this is the opening to my character arc, and he says that it is, but not to worry because the demon thing is, to quote, "just being brought up to get the others interested". I remind him about what I told him about not wanting anything to change about who the pact was with and what it was for, and ask him again what changes he's made to my backstory.
He promises he'll have a full list to me by the start of next session, that we'll have time to sit down together and discuss it all even, and that he won't do anything I don't want him to do. Despite my concerns and the fact that he has already said several times he'll send me this list without doing it, I decide, like a fool, to trust him, even though in hindsight I had absolutely no reason to by this point.
The next session rolls around, and of course there's no list, instead a lot of NPCs who start voicing concern whenever my character brings up the fact she's a warlock, or her dead brother, especially if the pair come up in quick succession. One of the other characters figures out what's going on and asks if they can basically cast some sort of spell to determine if a demon's got control of my soul, which N agrees to, and the spell determines that yes, that's exactly what's going on.
I immediately confront N, mid-session, and tell him outright that this isn't fair, that I told him I didn't want him to change this part of my backstory, and I wanted him to change it back immediately or I wasn't going to play anymore. He started on this long-winded response basically summarizing as "I'm the DM, I can do what I want".
This is the part where I may be the asshole, because well, I saw red in that moment, and decided I not only wanted to follow through on my threat of quitting, but also do something to ensure that my point was driven home.
I fired off a quick message to T on my phone warning him what I was about to do, and while the others were talking about what to do to help me I loudly announced that my character was stabbing herself through the heart, which N had previously ruled would be an instant method of death if carried out.
Silence falls over the group. N tells me that I need to roll to see if I even hit, which I argue (with T backing me up) that if my character is willing to get hurt then it's automatically a hit. N tells me that I need to roll to see if I even pierce my heart. Okay, fine, I roll, and as luck would have it I roll a Nat 20. N attempts to send me just to death saves, but I remind him (again, with T backing me up) that he'd ruled that this was an instant death.
So then he tries to have an NPC cleric show up and revive my character, but T brings up that the soul has to be willing to return to life for that to work, and I immediately say that my character wouldn't even be able to consent to that if her soul was held by a demon, nor would she even be willing if she could. Then I tell N directly that he can consider this my official resignation from the group and walk out, and T follows along behind me after a few minutes.
Ever since then N's been blowing up my phone, fluctuating between begging for me to rejoin the group and promising that he'll do things differently this time, and calling me a selfish bastard for "ruining the fun". T still goes to sessions occasionally, though I think now it's just to spectate, and he's said that maybe things went a little far with the character death in hindsight. And honestly, I'm not exactly proud of how I acted now either.
TL;DR -- I joined a D&D campaign where the DM has made unwanted changes to my character's backstory, despite my attempts to communicate with him, so I retaliated by killing my character mid-session and refusing to let him revive her before quitting. AITA?
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rongzhi · 10 hours
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How would you describe the concept of being gender fluid in mandarin? I've been avoiding coming out to my parents for a while bc I straight up don't know what I'd say - I don't know enough Chinese and idk if they'd be able to understand what I'm trying to communicate if I said it in English. They're both from the Hebei area if that helps at all, and they're not really conservative but they're also not at all caught up on modern terminology so,,, any help would be appreciated 😭
First of all, I want to say that I hope things go well and I’m rooting for you 💖
The term for gender fluid in Chinese, as I’m sure you know, is 流性人 liú xìng rén/流性别者 liú xìng bié zhě.
I’m honored that you think highly enough of my input that you asked, so I wanted to give an answer. However, I am not really a good person to ask about coming out to parents because I have not personally done so in any coherent manner myself, even though my parents aren’t conservative, either.
I can say that I think if I was to come out (hopefully I will one day—I just want to be financially stable first, altho... hmm...), I will probably explain it as best I can in English first and then later offer supplementary reading materials in Chinese. In my mind, the best course of action would be to just start off with the facts—say there is something important you want to share with them and that it would mean a lot if they could hear you out first (or however you talk to your parents normally to get them to sit and listen for a bit). “I am [genderfluid], this means I [whatever it means to you personally, as well as what it doesn’t mean/how you came to this realisation, etc].” I think if I was to explain genderfluidity to my parents, I would include what it might appear as in terms of personal outer appearance as well as how it affects your inner life. I would mention why it’s important/significant enough to your identity that you want them to recognise this is how you identify. I think emphasising the euphoric aspects/how being openly genderfluid would make you happy will be more beneficial to you, rather than try and immediately teach the terminology. My parents often say that they want me to be happy so I would try to explain how sharing that part of who I am would make me happy.
Your parents might understand what transgender identity is because it’s talked in the news a lot, so you could try approaching it from that direction, too. If they know of Guanyinshiyin, too, you could approach it from that direction or liken it to a feeling of nothing and all and either/or fluidity in that sense (if that’s a relevant definition). I think my parents would want to know what it means for them going forward as well, so that might be something to talk or establish in your initial explanation, too—pronouns, whether you hope to change your appearance once out to them, etc. I would probably also say something about how you understand what others might think about you but you don't care about that, again, going back to personal euphoria. I personally wouldn't expect them to understand anything right away, but I would communicate that the hope would be that they make an attempt, and that if they have questions at the moment or in the future, I would want to try to answer them.
I hope that helps at all. Maybe other diaspora with experience can offer further advice in the replies/reblogs.
Good luck! 💖💖
Something that might be helpful for later:
伴您同行:专为跨性别儿童的父母准备的指南 - This is a short guide geared towards parents of transgender/nonbinary children, covering questions of "why", "what", when", "what to do", "who to turn to", "where to go" (recommends Oogachaga, SAFE Singapore, The T Project, TransgenderSG, and Asia Pacific Transgender Network; I'm not personally familiar with all of these organisations, but the handbooks itself seems pretty helpful). It includes brief overviews of HRT, as well, if that's something you want to bring up at all.
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sexlapis · 1 day
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ᡣ𐭩 nanami x gn!reader
nsfw drabble. no sex - just spanking, soft dom!nanami, gentle “brat” taming, d/s dynamics, praise, petnames, reader is stressed & anxious, crying (not sad)
-> synopsis: sometimes you just need a good ol’ spanking!
wc: 1.5k
a/n: i rushed this a lot, i was tired and wanted to post. this is filth and sweetness <3
masterlists
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*
a gargled groan crawls up your throat as you fiddle with the top button of your crisp, white shirt, biting the inside of your cheek and throwing your head back.
nanami, sitting right beside you, gives you a look.
the first warning.
“now, what’s that for?”
you huff, purulent, sagging into the plastic seat and crossing your arms tightly over your chest. you pout.
in the back of your mind, you know you are being irritable, but you cannot help it. the white lights in the room are far too loud, the whirling of the air conditioner rings in your poor ears and the shirt that graces your body is too tight too tight too tight.
“my shirt is too tight.”
nanami sighs.
he looks good today. not that he doesn’t usually, but this was something else. his three-piece suit is a dark navy that’s snug on him, fitting him almost too well. your eyes trail down to his slacks - tight over his thighs and the bump of his bulge does not go unnoticed. one single strand of blond hair hangs over his forehead. it makes you dig your toes into the soles of your shoes.
the meaning of this meeting you and nanami are attending? you have forgotten. in fact, you don’t think you even knew in the first place. probably just some bullshit complaints about your teaching methods or your blunt nature. or both. when you learned that just nanami was going to be there with you, thinking was a foreign concept. because you know he would handle it all for you.
he glances at his phone, reading a notification. “i thought you said you wanted to-”
“‘wear the green one’, yeah, well that just didn’t happen, did it?”
nanami glances at you again, squinting slightly.
a second warning.
“what have we said?” nanami asks, moving closer to you. “what do we do when we’re stressed?”
“…we take three deep breaths and stay grounded in our surroundings…”
he speaks the last part in unison with you, nodding with just a small smile on his lips. “that’s right. how about we try that, see how you feel? hm?”
“ugh!” your upper body quite literally collapses onto the table. knots thaw in your chest, your hands are clammy and your heart bangs in your ear. “I don’t wanna do that crap anymore! i’d-”
the sentence barely even leaves your mouth.
hands are on your biceps in a second, essentially dragging you up out of your own seat, a gasp just leaving your mouth as you’re dragged out of the meeting room and into the nearby restroom.
the ordeal is so fast, so quick you feel winded. before you know it, you face the mirror, heavy breathes leaving your soft lips. your hips are pressed up against the ceramic sink, your fingers clutching onto the rim to stabilise yourself. nanami larger stature stands behind you, looming over, his arm wrapped around your waist keeping you still. if he’s worried or cautious about anyone walking in, he does not show it on his face or in his actions. he leans down, lips to your ear.
“what did i say? you know what the rules are.”
you whine, teeth gnawing on your poor bottom lip, looking down at your own fingers. your body is winded up, tight and tense like a spring, unable to get it to relax and give in.
your leg shakes.
nanami’s big hand slithers down your arm, cupping over yours, “the rules are there for a reason. to help you, to keep you safe. you know that. look at me please.”
you look to him immediately despite your previous disobedience. you can’t help it, can’t help but do everything he tells you. nanami is safe, he is comfort, protection and guidance. he’s what you need.
his umber eyes meet your glossy ones, gentle yet stern. soft yet firm. by this point you already know what is happening, feeling your mind and body already sinking into the place where no worries or fears are present.
nanami hums, caressing his thumb over your cheek, almost losing his mind at the dazed look in your eyes. his hands slide down further, to the front of your trousers, fiddling with the button, “i know just what you need, sweetheart,” the button is undone, along with the zip, “…just what you need.”
your knees knock together, trapped by your trousers and underwear as you are bent over the sink slightly. you moan at the position change alone.
“hmm…” nanami looks downwards, biting his lip as he admires the bare flesh of your ass, soft and just waiting to be tainted red by his calloused hands. he shifts, standing adjacent to you now.
he does not bother to warn you before he strikes.
the first one has you crying out into the empty restroom, lurching forward and clawing onto the counter. it is sharp, sudden and hard, the string already prevalent, the control you once held over your mind rippling away and all you want is more.
“that’s one,” nanami states, groping your raw cheek with one hand, “look at you, already so responsive and we’ve barely even started...
he checks your face, eyes closed, mouth open, already gone, head in the clouds from that one hit alone. “tell me your colour, sweetheart.”
“green…’s green.” your voice is breathy, weak like your limbs. being at nanami’s complete mercy, under his guidance and control does that to you.
“good. you’ll tell me if that changes.”
what follows next is a series of swats and slaps, not too hard but with just enough force for you to know that you will feel sore for a couple of hours.
each strike leaves you breathless, frazzled, your grip on the counter the only thing keeping you from going insane as the ache at your core only grows and grows. the swats are loud in the quiet of the bathroom, the sounds making your face warm and arms wobble. your falls forward between your shoulders.
it does not help that nanami keeps on talking, more than he usually does in situations like these. he rambles on about how good you’re being, how well you’re taking it for him, how soft you feel, how pretty you look with your teary eyes, how sweet you sound, how badly he wants to take you right in the restroom where anyone could walk in and see.
it’s clear that nanami is in a talkative mood.
“fuck, look at you…” he momentarily pauses his assault on your welted, reddened ass, gripping one cheek and pulling it to the side. “you’re perfect. so, so perfect.”
you grunt at his praise and your head swells up. the juxtaposition of candy-sweet words and his continuous cracks landed on the crux of your thigh and ass has your kind reeling.
small whines and whimpers escape your mouth, and with the single tear that falls down your face, nanami knows it is time to stop.
the last hit he lands is heavy, stinging, it has you garbling right as it happens.
more tears drip onto the counter as a sob takes hold of you. and then you’re being flipped around and into nanami’s embrace, prodding your face into his shoulder, trying to catch your breath and come down to earth.
nanami caresses the middle of your back, kissing the top of your head while he coos, “shh, sh, sh. you did so well. you’re so good for me, sweetheart…see how good it feels to take the edge off?” he closes his eyes. “that’s all you needed, hm?”
you shake your head, not yes or no, but nanami understands all the same.
“yeah, i know, i know.”
you both stand like that for a little while, recovering from the scene you have had with him, soothing and shushing you until you’re back to him. it is only slightly awkward for you as your pants and underwear are still at your knees but whatever. you forgot that you are even in a public place.
“we should get back to the meeting.” nanami suggests, then looks at the watch on his wrist. “i think we’re the late ones now.”
you huff, chuckling a little. nanami pecks your lips and croches, pulling up your trousers and securing them around your hips. he fixes up your obvious ruffled, messy appearance, straightening your shirt and smoothing down your hair.
nanami holds your face in his hand, swiping away tears with his thumbs. he admires your wet eyes and bitten lips, thinking that you’re at your most beautiful when you look like this - blissed out and falling back down from your high.
“how do you feel?” he asks you.
it takes you a few seconds to respond, to find the words. “…’m good…yeah, i feel- i’m good.”
“alright.”
“i want to go home now.”
“okay.”
“i also want a lot of unhealthy food for my stomach.”
“you got it.”
nanami is smiling softly at you while you try to think of any more demands you may have. when it seems to be nought, he begins slowly guiding you out of the restroom, holding you close. he is warm.
you speak, “so not meetings today?”
nanami just sighs, shaking his head, half hearted, kissing the top of your head, “no meetings today.”
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drdemonprince · 1 day
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Can you offer any (academic) writing advice for Autistics and ADHDers? You clearly write a lot and write very well and very clearly, so some insight into your process would be great. Personally, I tend to struggle with over explaining or over citing (cause I am always getting misunderstood) and that I get very fixated on not misrepresenting what my sources are saying to avoid feeling like I'm lying. All this is time consuming and makes it hard to say what I really want to say. Thanks!
Hi there! I've written an essay about a lot of this, here is the free link to read it on Medium:
Much of my writing process is inspired by the book How to Write a Lot by Paul Silvia, and it is specifically tailored to academics. The advice applies to people who write popular nonfiction or fiction just as easily, however. And he does have advice relevant to the self-editing and self-doubt you describe feeling.
The full piece gets into this more, but here are some of the stand-out tips:
Schedule a regular time to write every week and show up no matter whether you are feeling it or not.
Throw out all your magical thinking about what you "need" to be able to write. You don't need the perfect workspace, divine inspiration, the right pen, the right playlist. You just need to show up to write regularly, and do it
Editing, outlining, working with research notes, and drafting all count as "writing." Don't expect your initial drafts to be perfect or to equate writing only with getting new words on the page.
Try writing in public spaces to help get yourself in the mindset of explaining a concept to someone with a different frame of reference and type of expertise than you. Writing in a cafe or a public library can force you think and write in a more accessible way. (alternatively, you can pretend you are explaining the concept to a specific person in your life who you respect but who doesnt have all the same reference points as you -- sometimes this is called the "Grandma Test". Explain something like you are talking to your grandma.)
In addition to all this, I would add that you should read a lot of writing, both good and bad, especially work that isn't dry and academic. If all you read is journal articles, you'll write a journal article -- and most of those are hell to read, even for academics. read fiction. read bad wattsapp shipping. read substacks. read newspapers. read indulgent personal nonfiction in the cut or whatever. read reddit posts. notice what works and what doesn't. develop an ear.
and then write a lot! it took me 15 years to get good enough for anything i wrote to get noticed. you can expect to take many years to get comfortable developing your own voice, too. i dont know how far along you are, but even when you've made tremendous progress you'll only notice your flaws and feel the most turgid brain foggy moments. that doesn't mean you're failing.
also, to some extent you can embrace your citation-dense, precise manner of self-expression. we are living in a moment of maximalism and indulgent, long creative works. it's the decade of the 5 hour youtube essay and the 2 hour album. my 5,000 word essays do better than my 2,000 word ones. you should strip down unnecessary tangents and trust yourself and your reader a little more probably, but ive found that the more blatantly autistic and indulgent my writing gets the more the right people like it. a writer's flaws and their distinctive voice are kinda hard to separate. you're not for everyone!
good luck!
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melanthaeunomia · 2 days
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hiii! i’m new to this blog but i see you’ve got a free week (SO jealous) so i was wonderinggg if you’d be willing to do a leo x fem reader where they’re on a quest/mission or something undercover and have to make out to keep their cover? sorta like that one b99 scene with jake and amy ig😅
"Just to blend in?" -Leo Valdez x Reader (Friends to Lovers?)
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A/N : Hi dear!, thank you so much for your request, to be honest i was kinda procrastinating a bit on writing this but! i just got new nails so i felt the motivation kick in y'know, so sorry if this is a bit late, I like the concept!, but the scene is not really like the B99 cause i thought this would suit the undercover quest more but its sort of the same concept!.
synopsis : (the request sent)
Word count : 1.7k+ (idk why its so long either dont ask me)
Riordan verse Masterlist⚜️
You groaned rolling your head back as the aggravating and irritating music hit your ears, an ogre was playing make believe DJ, you can hear its gruesome nails scratching on the pad. You accompanied Leo on a quest to locate an enchanted item used in antient time to help Forge weapon and armors, Both of you settled in the corner of the night club, You leaned back on one of those wrapped cocktail tables, trying to cover Leo behind you, who was working on a machine in order to locate the said item. "Where in the hell did you get these clothes!" You whined tugging on your unnecessary revealing clothes, "Hey!, It took a lot of energy to charm the store lady, Besides, We're in a nightclub atleast we blend in." He rolled his eyes wiping the sweat building on his forehead with the sleeves of his suit, You scoffed, gaze following a few monsters who danced around with the pitiful drunken humans, Particularly on one Laistrygonian Giant who hovered over a woman his hands dropped down to grip the womans hip, licking his lips with hunger in his eyes You wondered what the humans were seeing, Are the Monsters hot with the mist? (wait we're getting off topic). You nudge leo "Are you done?" You hummed, turning back to face him "Hm?, not yet, just needs a few changes" He fiddled around with the wires on the machine, You turned your head back, Blood turning blue when you noticed the Laistrygonian was looking right back at you as its sharp teeth bit into the drunken woman's neck who was squirming around, everyone around them continued dancing as if it was a normal thing, Your eyes widened as The giant glared at you, and looked at the DJ with a nod
"Leo, Leo!, Hurry up, I think-" You tapped leo's shoulder aggressively keeping an eyecontact with the Giant, "Hold on!, I'm Don-" The music became louder, Covering the stomps of the giant walking over to the both of you with furrowed brows. You hurriedly grabbed leo's sleeve, dragging him away making him stumble over a few people "Hey!" a drunk dude grumbled "Sorry!" leo screeched, You dragged leo over to a corridor which was fortunately empty, The both of you panting "You almost made me drop the machine!" He groaned settling down on the floor breathing heavily, “yeah?, would you rather to have died?” You gently hit him in the head “that was unnecessary” a overly dramatic pout covered his face “yes but it was well deserved.” You rolled your eyes snatching the metal device from his hand, a red blinking button on it "Its somewhere here" He hovered behind you, "I know idiot, Look out for monsters" You waved the machine out in the air to try and get the blinking to stop, "You're doing it wrong!" Leo tried to snatch it away from you "I know how to do-" The both of you fought over who gets to use the machine arms intertwined as he kept trying to snatch it back, Until both of your attention was grabbed by the Giant who was all the way at the end of the corridor "Warning, Tall angry dude is coming here!!" "Thanks for stating the obvious, idiot!!" then the Red button finally settled when the giant was just about to strike "Follow me!" You ran towards the door where the machine was pointing to, leo followed "Lock it hurry!" A loud thud could be heard from outside and the giant muttering to themselves "Where do we go now?" leo asked, inside the room were tons of doors, You waved the machine trying to get signal, a loud tugging on the previous door behind could be heard "Just hide!" You grabbed him shoving him in a random room, The room was dimly lit, stairs going down "This is a bad idea!" "What makes you think theres not more monsters there?" He stammered "Just-" You were thinking of a retort but you knew he was right, You hesitated before shrugging him off. "You're really stubborn y'know, Hey!" Leo groaned yet still followed you down the stairs.
The seemingly old stairs creaked under yours and leo's weight, carefully listening for any hits of a monster nearby, The faint noise of.. moaning? could be heard, growing louder as the both of you walk further down the stairs "What the hell?" You cursed under your breath near a laugh, tugging leo's shirt forcing him to keep a straight face so he doesnt attract attention from whoever was there below. Soon enough You were in a wine cellar, with bunch of drunk and horny teenagers who doesnt look a day over 17, there were 5 pairs of couples all scattered throughout the room practically eating each others faces off, "You've got to be kidding me.." You slammed your face, Leo couldn't help but snicker behind "A make out spot hah!" You glared at him forcing your way into the end of the wine cellar, There was no point in being quiet or sneaky though, all those people there were too busy fulfilling their.. Fantasies... "we should do that sometimes" Leo smirked, making you cough, Cheeks growing red and you turned to look at him trying to keep an intimidating face as leo made his hands do a kissy kiss, You rolled your eyes, cheeks a pinkish hue then you "Accidentally" gave him a quick jab to the stomach "Oh oops" "Owh!" he said clutching his stomach, frowning up at you, You examined the wine cellar trying to find any exit but there was none… or as far as you could tell “theres no exit.” You mumbled checking the gaps of the overfilled shelves if there was a way to get out “The monster is close, we have to hide somewhere.” You gave leo back the machine so he could try and figure out whats wrong with it “adam!..” a girl groaned from across the room followed by a growl of a guy “I swear to hades, I’m actually gonna puke” Leo couldn’t contain his laughter anymore
“Dont be dramati-“ Just like that you were cut off, the both of you could hear a door breaking open from upstairs, it wouldn’t take long for the giant to come to the room, the both of you looked at each other and hurriedly searched every corner of the wine cellar for a hope of escaping “nothing!” Leo mouthed from across the room trying to ignore the couple that had their faces basically attached to eachother “Come here! I think i found something!” you mouthed back and he hurriedly ran right back over to you “i think-“ Then a loud crash from the entrance above could be heard all the way to the room below, somehow didn’t attract the humans in the same room, the both of you looked at each other with a knowing look when the old stairs creaked again, the giant was headed down muttering to himself “tsk tsk tsk.” both of you looked at each other and back at the stairs, and you could see a hint of a musty big foot.. both of your eyes widened could no longer speak, "I have a plan.." You said hesitantly cheeks turning red, You could see the giants hip, revealing more of its body as it goes down
"What is it-" Leo was soon cut of when you pulled him by his tie and softly kissed him, You didn't expect the kiss to be soo... passionate?, You could see his eyes widen but went along with you and kissed you back, a hint of pink in his sunkissed skin, You could smell Leo's cologne up close.. It was so intoxicating(in a good way) You guided leo's hands to your waist trying to make it seem more believable, The both of you were clearly flustered, you just hoped that Leo's cologne was strong enough to hide the scent of the both of you, you tried to to focus back on the monster and trying not to melt into the kiss, from the corner of your eye you could see the giant peaking under the stairs examining the room and hissed "Tsk", Suddenly Leo pushed you back into the wall kissing you in a slow and playful rhythm, You were sure you were gonna explode any minute now from embarrassment "Shh, eyes on me." He whispered before taking another kiss, You couldn't tell what was real and what was not anymore, You thought he wanted you to keep your eyes on his so that the giant doesn't notice, right?, I mean this was your plan.. Why are you so flustered right now??? "Its just for the mission" You think to yourself, a hint of vulnerability in your heart, But you snapped back to reality when you felt his heart beating fast through his suit, he still kept tight grip on your waist, his other hand found its way to cup your cheeks, finally after what felt like minutes the giant finally went away with a huff, so the plan did work!, now it was time to stop kissing right?, But leo still hasn't noticed that the giant was long gone, and was still softly kissing you, You pulled away slowly, Your eyes kept in contact as you pulled away with a breathy gasped "Uhm.." "Ehem.." The both of you were flustered, You pulled away from his grasp acting like noting happened, trying to act busy examining the room again for a way out, but your mind could't help but replay the moment in your head, He cant lie and sat he didn't miss the way your lips parted just to kiss him back. Wait, what are you guys thinking? it was just for the mission, nothing else, no feelings attached, right? "Can we atleast talk about it-" Leo mumbled behind you, cheeks flushed, you tried to ignore him checking the shelves once more before finding a hidden button hidden underneath the off brand wine "It was just to blend in.." You finally answered, remembering the words he spoke to you earlier, still feeling embarrassed, not like you can confess when you're in a life and death situation, but still those words hit like a dagger to his heart, Yours especially, denying your feelings for him, oh if only you knew how whipped this boy was for you, There was a hint of disappointment mixed with embarrassment in the air, You couldn't even hold proper eye contact with him without the memories appearing in your mind, and the smell of his cologne lingered. "C'mon, lets get out of here."
Requests!⚜️ Riordan verse Masterlist⚜️
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sysig · 11 hours
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Time Loops are they/them culture (Patreon)
Bonus of my little guy in ISaT style:
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#Doodles#Pixel art#ISaT#Siffrin#Loop#And then I still don't have even a code name for smol and my time loop concept lol#I'm sure you can imagine my excitement upon seeing a time loop RPG <3#Not to be silly but the thought of either of us picking up the wavelength and running with it is fun to me haha ♪#I...may or may not have developed brainworms about it it's fine lol#Good characters! Good story! I'm always a sucker for a tragedy with bright spots <3 It's hard to even call the ending bittersweet tho hehe#It's very sweet! Like sugar :) Hehe#Shock of shocks I - person who has done this how many times now - liked the dynamic between Sif and Loop best haha#Is it spoilers if it requires past knowledge of my faves hmmm inconclusive lol#These were just introduction doodles - not even Getting Used To doodles yet a step before that!#Fun designs :D I like Sif's hair a lot <3 The way it's two-tone because he likes black! Adorable! And cowlicks hehehe#And eyepatch hehehe Sif's design is so fun ♪#What no my time loop shop keep lad having a hat like that has no bearing! I'm completely unbiased! Lol#For the pixel art I did directly just use Siffrin's hat in shape haha I just added the belt and buckle ouò#Man it's been too long since I've played with pixel art it's still so fun <3#Someday I'll get Aseprite. Someday#In the meanwhile it was fun to make their colour palette :D#I love that ISaT is in black and white canonically as well I think it's really cool ♪#Me when monochrome red 💕💖😭🤌💗#It is simply The Best colour palette out there I'm sorry others need not apply#Again my pencils and blood pen surely give away none of my biases because I don't have any lol#Hrmng I want SASASAP too pixel art cool - the glow up in ISaT is only strengthened by looking at the original closely!#Ah well I'll just admire at a distance until then <3
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Mattheo Riddle Headcannons
©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
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Being the son of the Dark Lord is no easy task. Obviously.
Growing up, Mattheo had very limited contact with other people, which stunts his social skills a lot, especially with his peers
Once he breaks out and has the ability to meet other people, he's 100% an extrovert because he feels like he has to make up for everything that he missed out on
Growing up alone though made him very independent and self sufficient
Lots of trust issues, lots of abandonment issues
But he's also very bad at picking up on social cues, and reading other people's emotions
He grew up being outwardly judged by everyone around him, which caused him to develop a sort of apathetic attitude as a buffer
This gives him a sense of freedom because if he doesn't care about other's opinions, he can do whatever he wants, they'll judge him either way, so why not do what makes him happy
Mattheo also has a deep internal rage
Like, level 11 out of 10 on the scale of anger issues
He bottles up all his emotions and frustration with the world, often lashing out and exploding at the smallest triggers
His frustration mostly stems from the fact that it's not fair that he's suffering for the actions of his father. Because at the end of the day, he's still innocent in all of it
This is also why he's particularly spiteful and disdainful of authoritarian figures
He simply doesn't owe them anything
At Hogwarts it's hard for him at first. It's pretty clear that he didn't have much of a childhood and that he was forced to grow up much too fast
And once again, he finds himself being judged by everyone, so nothing new
His biggest pet peeve is when someone complains about a minor "tragedy" from their childhood, because he's absolutely certain that he had it worse
Lowkey victim complex™️
He's able to eventually bond closely with Theodore Nott, sharing a lot of similar childhood trauma (we <3 trauma bonding) and surprisingly Lorenzo Berkshire who shares his fuck-all mentality
Many assume that he's a malicious bully, based solely on his last name, but he's really more of a chaos instigator
He rebels against authority and stands up for what he might find to be an injustice, but he'd never go after someone without cause
Hogwarts is one of the first places he's able to truly act his age
He joins the Slytherin quidditch team,
He's a beater (which is kind of therapeutic as it allows him to let out a lot of his anger)
Often skives off of class,
He's not book smart like Theo, but makes up for it with street smarts
And likes to pull Theo into the fray simply because he can
This is also how he gets his reputation for frequently sleeping around to put it nicely
Mattheo grew up with a distinct lack of affection from those around him which causes him to search out any hint of it that he can find
He doesn't really use girls per se, he just doesn't quite understand the concept of love
But when Mattheo falls, he falls hard
The first time he catches feelings, he's absolutely terrified that he's under the influence of a love potion
Very confused, very upset, and denies it to the ends of the Earth
But once he comes around, he's all in
He doesn't like to think of himself as jealous, just territorial.
Jealousy is when something isn't yours and you want it. But you belong to him, and he'll be damned if he doesn't defend his territory
He also isn't shy at all when it comes to PDA, simply because he wants everyone to know what's his
Definitely love bombs, but he doesn't know what that means
Won't bat an eye before hexing someone for looking at you too long (will act innocent and pretend it wasn't him)
Honestly probably would not be the best partner initially because he's so used to being independent
And would likely try to hide a lot of his anger and emotions from you because his biggest fear would be being judged by someone he loves
It would take a lot of time and effort to work through, but Mattheo would be willing to put in the work because he's determined to have the one thing his father never could
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alllgator-blood · 7 hours
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I have ten billion WIP sketches I need to finish, but for some reason I stayed up from 9 PM to 4 AM conceptualizing, making patterns, sewing, painting and applying makeup on this stupid fucking felt squid......the detailing needs to be cleaned up cause there's only one coat of paint so far, but he's pretty much done
my neighbors probably think I'm insane because I was running around the yard clenching this toy kallamar in a death grip and flying him around like an airplane/putting him in the barbecue/poking him with a stick. I want to tie him to a string and recreate the opening of napoleon dynamite >:) ALSO I MADE HIM SMOKE OUT OF A STUPID CRYSTAL PIPE BUT PLEASE DON'T ACTUALLY USE THOSE, THEY ARE SUPER TOXIC LMAO MINE IS FOR DECORATION
I don't have any process pics because I had tunnel vision autism style and forgot the rest of the universe existed while I was working on him. BUT if you're curious I'll ramble below the cut
Okay I am not a seamstress by any means. I've sewn my entire life but very, very infrequently. I've done plushies, clothes, cosplays, fursuits, accessories, etc. but I only do one like once a year, so while I planned to make all 5 bishops, I'm not really sure I'll get them all done. The material cost was like 20 bucks tops so I'm not too upset if I don't finish them. I AT LEAST WANT TO GET SHAMURA OR HEKET DONE.
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here is the concept sketch ft. heket's toes and shamura's fingers. I decided to do his pre-schism version so I could fit him with jewelry! I did him first because like I said I sew infrequently and don't know wtf I'm doing, everyone else seemed a lot more complicated.
So I basically just traced this drawing on a printer paper-sized canvas in SAI, and guesstimated how everything would look in a 3D space. His head is four pieces, one triangle identical to the one in the picture, two wide triangles that are sewn together in the back, and a circle for his chin. You can't really see it in any of the pics but he's literally like a black cylindrical stick with little tentacles sewn on where his mantle connects to his cloak. The leg tentacles are one piece of felt that look like tassels, where they're connected by a rectangle but branch off into individual pieces. He can't stand up very well, so his cape keeps him up (that's gonna be an issue for every other bishop too except heket cause she's gonna be ROUND). Mostly everything like the crown, cloak, head, etc. are cones so I just had to make a lot of wide triangles.
For the details, I just used acrylic paint that was watered down so he's not especially crunchy, and for the blush tone I used a makeup palette my mom bought me 10 years ago in hopes I'd get in touch with my "feminine side", but I grew up into a nonbinary butch lesbian so OOPS. Kallamar looks better with makeup than me anyway. I'm kinda sad I couldn't get his freckles as lopsided as I draw them but it probably looks better in plush form to have them even anyway....
I could just post the pattern so I don't have to explain this but 1. I am mentally ill about the thought of my kallamar being in someone else's house and 2. the original pattern had to be tweaked while I was working on him so the final pattern straight up doesn't exist, I winged it the whole time
OH and the jewelry is just scrap pieces I had laying around, I might repaint it all to be gold instead of silver + bronze. I used 20g aluminum wire for his armlet thing, jumper rings for his earrings + ring (+ a diamond dot from my mom's kits for the gem) and chain for the bracelet. I made him an amulet as well but it felt like overkill so I took it off. I'm probably gonna make him a plague doctor mask and medicine bag sometime because I think about nurse kallamar more than I probably should :') I've already sewn one as a prop for a toy raven before so it shouldn't be too hard
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theminecraftbee · 2 days
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How do you think Three would feel about season 10?
man so. okay the thing is that by season 10 things have probably butterfly effected so hard off of the beaten path that i have no idea if three would have much season 10 as they know it.
for example: season 10 starts with demise. would three... even have done demise? probably not in its early days of hermitcraft, right, like, that's a game grian would design but that i think three would be a little more hesitant to start up. a game about killing people in a fashion with Rules and Creativity is something three could thrive with, sure, and i like to imagine three takes inspiration from like, cleo's head games to come up with a version of demise it ends up enjoying, maybe? but like, even that element is hard to say WOULD happen.
if we go with "season 10's haunted water is an inherent element of the season", i could fully see three getting wrapped up in the fishing thing, because three is very stubborn and if it gives itself a mission of "fish up a mending book" it WILL do that. it would not try to start a cult about it or build a secret chamber but i think it would make like, a mending book spreadsheet or something equally deranged but in a less "big temple" way and in more of "three is the kind of person who made a family tree of sheep with jimmy" way.
i do think a difference between three and grian is that three just. doesn't strike me as particularly possessable. it wouldn't become obsessed with the ocean in the way grian did i think. i think it would like, fixate on the mending book, get it, go "that was stupid", and... i could SEE three liking fishing a lot actually, but less in a "getting possessed" way and more in a "it's a relatively low-simulation activity and also it gets to kill something" way, lol.
anyway i think a really interesting thing here is that three... would not do the permit office. like three Would Not Understand the bit of being purposefully unhelpful. even many years out from being three, the weapon, and instead being three, the person, i think three never QUITE stops finding it sort of inherently frustrating to intentionally do a task wrong. three tends more towards malicious compliance when it doesn't like doing something, but like, fully would love tedious paperwork. additionally, okay, maybe by season 10 three is a bit more likely to take charge fully, but i sort of suspect cub would end up the permit spearhead, not three. three would love the concept of the structure permits provide! three would not inherently like being the person in charge of the permits.
actually this gets into one of the more fundamental differences in personality between three and grian: grian likes being in charge of things but hates and avoids responsibility. three is a bit uncomfortable being in charge of things, but is perfectly comfortable with responsibility and will even take responsibility for things it technically doesn't have to. and at their CORE grian and three both have this supremely type-a thing going on but they express it in nearly opposite ways and i suspect this would be one of the main ways they'd clash, honestly.
but all of that is to say: three would not do the permit office bit, but WOULD like the permits. they provide a Structure to how shops work that three would appreciate and i think by season ten i could see three having gotten into the art of Ruthless Capitalism because it's sort of like killing people except instead you take their money. (three describes it this way back in season seven after etho takes it under his wing and etho wheezes and tells three to never let go of that. anyway.)
so that's just some of my thoughts on season ten with three this is a FUN QUESTION thank you!
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max1461 · 1 day
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I think in general people are too impressed by "paradoxes" and "unintuitive truths" and stuff from science and mathematics, e.g. Gödel's incompleteness theorems, the Banach-Tarski paradox, quantum mechanics...
This is part of my whole "people believe too much" thing. People commit themselves to too many strong general principles and too many implications between ideas. The average person should be more "passively skeptical". That is to say, they don't need to go out of their way to doubt or debunk things, they should just in general take a more "I dunno" stance towards the world; they should be more inclined by default to suspend judgement on things, including on the truth per se of ideas that they have decided to adopt as working best-guesses at the truth.
Coming at this the other way: in practice, life requires us to commit to all kinds of beliefs in order to figure out what to do in various circumstances. But I feel like a vastly underrated observation is that you don't have to really believe these commitments in any deep sense. You can be more casual, more willing to say "this seems like the most likely thing at the moment, so I'll go with it for now, but idk if it's really true". This is more of a posture towards ideas than a proposition in itself. Most people are willing to entertain the concept of doubt, but it's almost about... how fluidly you entertain it? Anyway, I think this posture of casual skepticism has many epistemic benefits.
The point I was making about "paradoxes" and so on, though, is like... ok, it was reasonable based on what was known about physics in the 19th century to adopt this view of the world as made up of little billiard balls with definite positions and momenta and all that, progressing according to clockwork rules. I think if I had been alive then, I too would have adopted that as my working best guess about how the world is. But I don't think I would've have been that committed to it. I mean it's purely an empirical thing, right—"huh, sure looks like the world is made up of little billiard balls progressing according to clockwork rules". And anyway, I don't really think any of the concrete claims of quantum mechanics are that unintuitive or philosophically troubling or whatever, unless you start out weirdly committed to this billiard ball idea. If you had a more casual stance towards it to begin with, I don't think QM would have been such a shock.
I mean, I guess I do think QM was (probably) justifiably surprising, but not for the reasons most people think that. Not because of its "deeper philosophical implications" or whatever, which again I think are not that big a deal. Just for the reason that the billiard ball idea worked really well for a long time and seemed to have a lot of success and (potential) explanatory power, so seeing it overturned, if you're a specialist familiar with the area, seems like very reasonable cause for a "whoa moment". But anyway, in light of this, I'm tempted to call it "surprising in a mundane way" rather than surprising in a deep way. And I guess my further feeling is that with a sufficiently causally skeptical outlook, there isn't very much that actually should be surprising in a deep way. Most surprising stuff should just be like "oh huh".
So anyway the fact that people keep getting deeply surprised at these scientific revelations suggests to me that maybe they have too many commitments.
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kookyburrowing · 1 day
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and so now that i have your attention here are the couture looks i think fox would ABSOLUTELY rock. note these are from women’s collections bc a) fuck gender roles and b) men’s fashion is very meh. there’s no drama.
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This is look 23 from their spring 2024 collection. despite my bitching about the awkward number of looks, this is a collection I do really like. Sigh. Fox would like this outfit for two reasons. First, the cut would emphasize his shoulders and thus make him more intimidating. Second, it’s very elegant, but not particularly elaborate, making him stand out in a room filled with whatever nonsense the Senate put on today (cough Palpatine cough).
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This is look 28 from the same collection. A bit more elaborate, and again shoulders are emphasized. It allows for a more formal setting with retaining freedom of movement.
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This is look 15 from FW2019. A lot more elaborate, but easier to hide weapons in and the pants allow for greater flexibility. Also: POCKETS. more importantly: SUBTLE POCKETS. for knives ❤️❤️
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This is from Galla Lahav’s spring collection in 2017. I don’t know the exact look number because I found it through pinterest but I think this works for a dinner or something because it’s less outlandish and more practical. (Dinners are usually SIGNIFICANTLY less formal than things like balls and galas btw).
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I’m stealing the coat and running. This is from Dior’s Spring 1998 collection, and I love the shawl/cape thing, but the dress? Eh. Not a fan.
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Zuhair Murad AGAIN. they really said “let’s serve cunt constantly” tbh. This is look 2 from their FW2022 collection and I have actually used this in writing wherein Fox wears this (or a modified version of this, with knee-high flat heeled boots) to an opera. Sorry I just HATE thigh high boots with a passion.
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YET AGAIN. ZUHAIR MURAD. This is very “oh no the Chancellor died! of natural causes im sure” which is why I love it for Fox. he’s got a femme fatale vibe. to me.
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I cannot for the life of me remember where I got this one. If someone else could find it it would be HIGHLY appreciated. I like this bc it’s giving a Sith AU and idk man. The concept of Fox becoming a Sith fascinates me.
tagging @sevdalinkas because they said I could and also i genuinely thought i had more than this? alas those were all rtw not couture. SIGH.
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cripplecharacters · 9 hours
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Hi! This is a sort of weird question, but I’m writing a sci fi /fantasy book with two disabled main characters:
1. Cove is twelve years old and has something along the lines of Williams syndrome (possibly that, possibly Down syndrome—still deciding). He’s mildly intellectually disabled and has low muscle tone + an unspecified heart problem (which is stable but he still gets regular checkups for it). His power is turning into a giant at will. He might have PTSD for reasons that are potentially triggering, so I won’t go into details ^^’ He really likes the ocean and spicy food, and hates people staring at him or judging him
2. Lucas is sixteen and uses a wheelchair full time due to cerebral palsy. His hands tend to shake a lot too. His power is turning into a Sphynx cat. He’s a trans guy. Idk what he would like or dislike yet tbh, but I picture him dressing in black clothes a lot
My question is this—what are some ways these characters’ powers could like interact with their disabilities? So far I have that overusing his giant power could possibly put strain on Cove’s heart. and if Lucas wants to move around independently in his cat form, he’d probably need one of those animal wheelchairs for his back legs?
Also— is there anything else I need to consider while I write this story?
I’m not trying to get you to do all the brainstorming for me btw! I hope it doesn’t seem like that ^^’ I’m just looking for other people’s thoughts and input-
Hi!
I think that the powers you gave them are very cool! Often with disabled superpowered characters there's the trope of always having the ability be fundamentally connected with their disability. Someone shapeshifting into a cat is awesome!
The concept of Cove's transformation putting pressure on his heart is very realistic (if you can say that about shapeshifting, lol)! Both Down and Williams Syndrome come with cardiac problems, so you won't need to change that if you decide to switch the exact disability. I'm thinking that maybe he could try to slowly turn giant, rather than instantaneously? I imagine that turning back to being normal-sized could also cause some issues. I'm unsure if that's a part of your story, but I think that having his family worry about him transforming because of his heart would be realistic as well. Wouldn't really classify it as infantilization because he's twelve, and I know that a lot of parents of children with DS are extremely cautious around the cardiovascular problems (not sure about Williams Syndrome here, but I think it would make sense as well)! You mentioned PTSD, and while I don't see anything wrong here from what you said, I would just urge you to not have some weird "PTSD flashback = turns giant and extremely violent" (violent being the key word here) kind of scene. (If you have PTSD yourself then feel free to do whatever you want of course). But I think that him becoming bigger when he feels threatened as a defense mechanism of sorts would make sense.
For Lucas, I think that the idea of shapeshifting from a wheelchair user to a wheelchair using cat goes incredibly hard. As for the ways that it could interact with his cerebral palsy: if he has issues with his arms then he would use the wheelchair a bit differently. In the kitty wheelchair the whole energy comes from the forelimbs, so if his hands shake then he would be much more wobbly as a cat than as a human. I'm not sure whether cerebral palsy in kitties is a thing, but you can look up cats with cerebellar hypoplasia. It's not the same thing but causes some similar symptoms! For example, the lack of balance that Lucas could have due to shaky limbs.
In my opinion your story sounds great! If you have any more questions with more specific details, feel free to send another ask :)
Sorry for the late answer! I hope this helps!
mod Sasza
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admirxation · 2 days
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hello! could you recommend some leon x reader fics? I love your fics and the fics you reblog, so I was wondering if there was anything you would like to recommend. sorry to bother 😭😋
Hey there anon, thank you so much for the support and thank you so much for this ask, it's time to show some fics that I cannot stop thinking about. also dw about bothering me i love having asks <3
Just wanted to note that I also have a tag 'admirxation fic recs' if you're ever looking for some more recommendations and of course I reblog like mad with fics I love.
This isn't everything but I feel like it's a good handful to get yourself into. I will warn these recs are NSFW but if you're aware of my writing you know I literally nonstop thinking about smut haha.
some oneshots I recommend:
Pretty Owner by @elfven-blog -> smut 18+, hybrid puppy leon. AHHHH the hybrid craze has me in a chokehold like omfg, but i gotta say this is my all time favourite oneshot if you're looking for some hybrid fun.
step-dad oneshot by @chrosllo -> if you're a follower of my blog you know dark content is not a shy topic here, if you're looking for some stepcest, somno action this is where to go, I was blushing so goddamn hard when reading this.
Like Lovers Do by @dollfacefantasy -> 18+ public sex, with a friends with benefits vibe to it. hehehehehe i was kicking my feet blushing with every word
Pieces of a whole by @xoxostarlet -> 18+, older Leon and hooker reader (imagine the film pretty woman... but sexier and better) hehehehe i loved it, duh, the hooker fantasy is honestly such a turn on like im clawing at the bars of my enclosure HELP.
Heavenly creatures by @porcelainseashore -> 18+ Leon and catholic school girl. I read this one recently, and it does have a lot of religious imagery as well as catholic guilt, as someone who is an ex catholic i really resonated with the way it was written, it was such a weird experience like i was sitting there like i was here for a horny time now im having an existential crisis lmao. but it's a must read, their writing has a beautiful quality to it.
Teachers Pet by @d10nyx -> darker teacher x student relationship (power imbalance going on). If you're into the older Leon fics this is a yummy treat that I am not embarrassed to admit that I actually reread many times because it makes me feel all happy and good hehehehehe
Multipart series I recommend:
Should've been a son by @rigorwhoring -> this involves smut, noncon, incest (daddy daughter relationship), police corruption. If you're into dead dove this defo itches a certain scratch and this series left me on the edge of my seat at all times, it is also complete so if you wanna binge this series, go straight for it it's a really good read.
Into the Ether by @porcelainseashore -> 18+ with smut, angst, blood drinking, if you're really into vampires this is amazing. It is still being updated, but I would recommend getting straight into it, the updates are frequent and ah it deserves so much more love.
All the damn vampires by @elfven-blog -> we see a theme with my vampire obsession (my profile is literally astarion we are not shocked lmao). this series is a little slower in getting published (honey, I wait patiently for this series to return), but the writing in this is top tier.
Creepy re2 Leon, rpd Captain's Daughter reader by @valslullaby -> 18+, non-con, mommy kink, cannibalism. this one is another darker concept but ooooo does this writer have a way of connecting me with every word I LOVED IT SO MUCH AFFJKOYESGKUEWGJHRWA
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oh hey btw i’m the lazarus pit religious symbolism anon and forgive my confusing wording initially because i specifically had this thought of “huh that’s eerily like a really fucked up version of baptism” and then “wow my beloved tumblr idol would love this”
'my beloved tumblr idol' no one has ever referred to me as anything more flattering on this website, i actually love you anon. and ur right i do love this idea
but also most definitely it's really just a fucked up version of baptism depending on how you look at it. i think it works really well considering jason's experience with the lazarus pits. however it's a bit harder of an idea to push if you look outside of that, in general + with ra's' usage specifically. i don't see the same connections in that as i do with jason.
i'm very intrigued by the ex-catholic jason todd headcanons that occasionally pop up on my dash, which make me appreciate the religious symbolism in lazarus pits even more for him.
the whole 'cleansing of sin' aspect of baptism sticks out to me, with the lazarus pit correlation being the state jason came back in, unscathed and replenished. just as one exits a baptism ridded of previous sins, jason had every physical reminder of his mistakes removed. as one's baptism is a commitment to being 'a cleansed man', jason's revival was his commitment to this new version of himself, so different from anyone he's ever been.
i also enjoy the contrast between baptism essentially being a public declaration of one's connection to christ, and jason's dunk in the lazarus pit being the exact point in time in which he severs his connection to bruce as a son, and stops seeing him as a role model. he leaves his robin identity behind, as well as the child he was before, everything about him that had ever admired any part of bruce.
there's a lot of fucked up (/pos) connections people make between a god and bruce, in jason's eyes (this post comes to mind), so there's also that. specifically i really enjoy the concept of jason always seeing bruce as this 'all-knowing, all-powerful god of the night', until he lets him down for the first time, in death. i'd like to say after that he sees him as more of a mortal, but i honestly don't think he does. he sees himself with more mortality, and pushes that idea even further away from bruce, because anyone who's even a tenth of the human jason is would be a better man.
so yeah. lazarus pits + religious imagery in the closest but also furthest way possible. i also have very complicated thoughts about similarities between jason and lazarus himself, as well as sylvia plath's 'lady lazarus', but that's for another post...
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Not gonna lie, this whole thing really sucks. I think I wrote a message awhile back about the very cool feminist angle of the Plus Global Auditions Invitation video, I'm an SNL Army and was new to watching kpop very closely and was so sold by that video. I thought - 'this company is really different.' Going public with a company f*cks a lot of things up, it happens all so often, and often it's the people and the ethos that gets messed up the most. It's frustrating to see this devolution. Because I was really excited by what MHJ was being given space to do at BH/Hybe. Though, as a fellow art school student, I am shaking my head and serious side-eyes at how she says things like 'I'm an artist, I don't know how to read contracts' (obviously I'm paraphrasing) - it's clear Hybe knows she's got the goods but she's not playing by their game anymore. The response and flood of crazy comments and hate at BTS is frustrating but expected, but just such a waste of time all the same. I've also never thought BH and then Hybe were super super smart and long-gaming everything (don't come for me Bangtan U fans) I think they were lucky and scrappy and skillful and making cool things happen moment to moment. Later on they got better at the strategic planning, sure. I don't know. They may need a good kick in the pants to remember that's what makes them great at what they do. But still, I hate the idea of MHJ being cooked even if she seems like a real pain in the tush to work with. Because technically, she's what got me to really buy-in to what BTS & BH were doing in the first place.
***
Yeah, it's a shitty situation.
To be fair, I think at the start, Bang PD was trying to do something different and 'forward-thinking' with HYBE. He sought out good talent going by the hires he did in 2019/2020, managing to onboard creatives like Min Heejin and Zico. Zico already incorporated his company to manage himself before Bang PD approached him, which is probably why he owns ~24.5% of KOZ - his sub-label in HYBE.
But with Min Heejin...
She had partnered with 250 - a popular DJ in Korea and NewJeans' main producer, since she left SM in 2018. He runs BANA (a creative collective) but she'd wanted her own label since the start.
Bang PD knew this, and wanted her for HYBE, so it's likely he made all sorts of promises to get her on board without awarding her a single share. Almost as soon as key creative decisions had to be made post-Global Plus audition, they both clashed, but HYBE as a company was less than 1 year old and it appears Bang PD and MHJ still had good relations... which was kinda easy since he still needed her creative output and wanted to see what she could do. So they let her make her own label: ADOR, and keep NewJeans even though according to Min Heejin, HYBE executives and Bang PD thought her concept and style of music for them would be impossible to sell to k-pop stans.
They expected NewJeans to fail or flounder. Instead, by 2023 NewJeans had become one of the top 5 most valuable k-pop IPs in Korea. If my guess is right, by that point she had no shares in ADOR, no agreement with HYBE's indefinite non-compete clause. She could walk anytime and I'm sure a lot of people wanted her.
Then HYBE approached Min Heejin with the shareholder contract to give her 20% of the company. It's a classic 'carrot and stick'. The carrot was easy to see. Apparently offered her the shares at a very low price, apparently Bang PD even lent her the money to buy it, for a valuation that HYBE considered more than generous, he was in her KakaoTalk chats buttering her up with those godawful emojis lmaooo. He was selling that shit hard. The stick in the contract was the poison pill which essentially tied her to HYBE for as long as they want her.
Perhaps she was aware of the pill and signed any way because at that point they still had good relations with Bang PD and HYBE in general. But according to her, Bang PD kept wanting more control over NewJeans the more successful the group became. Realizing she had to do something about the poison pill, she sought to negotiate, and as is typical in these sort of situations, you fight greed with more greed.
Asking to bump up the multiple on the options from 13x to 30x is frankly ridiculous. For a male CEO I can see it being considered... maybe, but for a woman? In Korea?
I'm sure when the other suits at HYBE heard that's what she was asking, at least one of them almost had a stroke. The logic is simple though: start crazy high and end.. just high. If HYBE was looking to exert more control over NewJeans (for example, every sub-label and group in HYBE changed to using 'bio-paper and ink' for their albums starting in 2023, to help HYBE meet their ESG targets. The only company that's not made the switch yet, is ADOR. Given how carefully MHJ controls branding and album design for NewJeans, I can see this minute detail being a massive thorn lol)... anyway, if HYBE was indeed looking to gain more control, the fact that they'd have to pay 30x if MHJ exercised her options on a whim, would serve as a very strong deterrent.
Given what I understand Korean corporate culture to be like, I doubt she had any friends in upper management to start, but with a demand like that, practically all of them would turn enemies in a heartbeat. It's the sheer audacity lmao. My guess is she would've eventually negotiated down, at least once she was assured real creative independence from Bang PD. But at some point, rather, quite predictably given this is corporate Korea, the need for control and the egos involved decided she had to be cut loose now and perhaps taught to not bite the hand that feeds her.
It's not a sentiment limited to the suits at HYBE. It's followed her since SM and the general public would hate it too, which is one reason I think it's only a matter of time before the narrative switches again to HYBE's favour. I promise you, most regular men in Korea would go red in the face, eyes bulging out their heads, drool and spit shooting out like projectiles, at the thought she would dare to demand such a thing. And in a way they'd be right. It's an insane amount of money for female creative in Korea, but I think given everything else, it also seems like a gamble she was taking as a means to an end. A simple negotiating tactic, given what she keeps highlighting as her main goal - unimpeded and full creative and managerial control.
Bang PD wants to build a 'forward-thinking' company comparable to Western conglomerate juggernauts like SONY and Warner Music, but I don't think these Korean men have the chops to do it right, just yet. I've had that impression of Bang PD for a few years now. He's been getting results, but they are inconsistent and he's got the biggest 'surety' in a sense with BTS, so he's been fine, and will continue to be fine for a few more years at least. But if they are messing up this spectacularly with their first female executive and one of their most valuable IPs, over... an options price negotiation?
And they want to pretend to be better than any other corp in Korea?
Lol.
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Anyhoo.
I sympathize a bit with how you feel, but as a Korean woman, I guess I'm numb to it. There's a reason I've never chosen to work in that country, there's a reason why the birth rate is nearing the negatives. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry you're seeing a prior expectation you had getting blown up this way. And this latest hatefest on BTS has been quite ugly and isn't near done yet. This whole situation is gross, and even more so when the motivations behind it are so... banal and backwards.
But these are undercurrents that are too simple and boring for the average stan. Burning the witch who is responsible for masterminding the demise of a virtuous group is far more exciting. And so that's how the story will go.
I just hope that by some miracle, NewJeans turns out okay and manages to thrive after this. Because in all of this mess, they will deal with the implications the most and for the longest time.
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