#and it really makes me feel connected to the older queers who came before me

[genderkoolaid]

I recently listened to the Jules Gill-Peterson episode of Gender Reveal. In it, she argues that the histories of transmasc and transfem people are essentially disconnected until the 80s or so, in part because transmascs migrated to rural areas and went stealth, whereas transfems moved to cities like New York and San Francisco and formed communities. (This brief summary does not do her justice, please read the transcript or listen before responding.) What do you think of her argument? Do you have any historical records that confirm, refute, or complicate it?

So generally I agree with her. Obviously this is specifically about US history, but I agree that transmascs historically have sought isolation to stay stealth where transfems have formed a lot of communities (although thats not to say there havent also been stealth transfems in history). She does bring up transmasculinity in lesbian spaces although its very brief. I kind of wish she focused on it more because I feel like acting as though trans men who lived in stealth isolation from other queers is The transmasc historical narrative erases a lot of the complex ways transmascs lived, and lesbian spaces have always been a MAJOR part of that. Drag masculinity was one way historical transmascs could engage in transmasculinity, and also took place largely in cities & drag kings absolutely interacted with drag queens, so I don't think there wasn't any places where historical transmascs & transfems shared spaces. But she's also a transfem and it makes sense that her focus is more on transfem history & its intricacies.

Honestly I think that the idea that transmascs going stealth vs transfems finding community isn't the interesting thing here. That's whatever. What's more interesting in my opinion is the questions of

Chicken or the egg (ha): do transmascs go stealth instead of forming communities because there were no communities and therefore no awareness that others existed, or was there no community because everyone went stealth?

What is the origin of this difference between transmascs and transfems? What factors influence the difference in our histories?

Listening to modern non-western transmascs talk, I've gotten the idea that part of this comes from how women in patriarchal societies have more restrictions, and often aren't allowed to go out on their own, which limits their ability to find queer spaces and connect with other transmascs. I think there might also be something to be said about the idea that cis society may tend to react to transfems with "you should be cast out" and transmascs as "you should be fixed", but that's just an idea + it's definitely not black-and-white.

Going back to the first question, I'm inclined to believe that they lack of community/awareness came first: I think part of the reason for so many trans men going stealth is because many of them weren't aware other trans men existed, so they had a mindset of "I have to find a way to survive without being outed", whereas transfems knew other transfems existed and so their first step was "find other people like me". I imagine that's also the reason for the difference between stealth trans men and lesbian trans men: maybe people who weren't aware of lesbian spaces were more likely to go stealth, and people who were aware of lesbian spaces joined them for the same reason transfems sought out other transfems. See this quote from a Korean trans man:

"[T]here is nobody that we can really call “older generation.” In Korea FTM identification and transition only began when they learned that such a thing was possible. Before they felt like they didn’t belong in their bodies. The lack of words made it impossible for them to understand what that feeling meant. FTM trans people that are older than me, those in their 40-60s, understood their situation late. Most of them had lived their lives as lesbians until the 1990s. When the Internet started providing information, only after this began, they understood who they were and started treatment."

That's also why the transmasc community only really started after transmascs started getting widespread attention (coinciding with the rise of the Internet as well), because suddenly younger transmascs weren't either becoming butches or going stealth- they knew others existed and wanted to find them. (As a side note: I got the idea for a historical fiction story exploring the idea of some kind of "transmasc secret society", because I'm sure there was some point in history where at least a few guys found each other).

I think its important to ask these questions lest we fall into the trap of "transmascs just love their male privilege and want to preserve it and have never done anything for the trans community, unlike transfems, who are the real trans people". That ignores how transandrophobia has shaped the behavior of transmascs.

I do have another criticism: maybe she's doing this on purpose, but I feel like its extremely oversimplifying the history of how people treated crossdressing women to say that it was seen as just a cool thing. There was definitely a different attitude to the idea of women crossdressing for survival, but (and this might be kind of nit-picky but its something that gets on my nerves so humor me):

If you weren't crossdressing for survival, that was a problem. I am of the opinion that a good amount of women/"women" who would make this argument when they got caught crossdressing were doing so because "'I'm doing it to survive!" would probably get you some sympathy, but "I'm doing this cause I like it!" would get you. you know. jailed for crossdressing & labeled an invert. And there is an expectation there that, if you no longer need to do that to survive, you would stop doing it, and to insist on continuing to do that would, again, get you labeled an invert.

I just in general really really dislike hearing people say "well the patriarchy wants everyone to be a man" because No It Does Not. its similar to that post that goes "bi women are told they should be lesbians and lesbians are told they should be bi but the actual goal is for there to be no queer women at all". Cis women might be told they would be worth more if they were men, but thats another case of generalized "man" being used to erase cisness. Cis women need to be cis women (and therefore wives & mothers), thats why women/"women" are so heavily controlled. You may have cases of "father wanted a boy so he makes his daughter live as a son" but that has always been seen as abnormal or even cruel. The idea of invert women and women who crossdress as man because of their ~evil sinful desires~ is not new (One scientist estimated "that one woman in every 3,000 is the victim of this strange mania")

I think crossdressing women historically were reported on with a sense of awe partially because I think a lot of people didn't realize how easy it is to pass and so the idea of a man being secretly a woman, or vice versa, was something unbelievable (a lot of old news articles about these people I've read spent a lot of time focusing on how no one could tell and being shocked at them voting & marrying women). Also because a lot of them were only outed in death so there wasn't a living person to confront or arrest. But I think we should hesitate to take news reports that saw them as some interesting headline to mean "people thought they were cool and treated them well" (especially in situations where we only have stuff like headlines & we may not know exactly how people felt about the person). Looking through my hoard of historical trans men resources, you have stories like Augustus Baudouin, a 17 year old who was outed after being put in prison for robbery. After being placed in the women's ward, his "repugnance to appear in women's attire" was so great that he hung himself. Even if the headline called him "extraordinary", being outed ended with him dead (in a way that grimly mirrors transmasc suicide deaths today). Christine Vensettie was also arrested so he could be forced to get "treatment" for his crossdressing. Edward De Lacy Evans's story shows a bit of what "treatment" can mean (namely, medical abuse & sexual assault) and was literally put in a freak show.

This isn't to say that the violence and repulsion Western society has long held towards transfems isn't bad or anything, just that I feel like portraying the history of society's reaction to female crossdressers like this ignores a lot of complexity. Also "the patriarchy wants women to be men" is like the #1 TERF belief when it comes to trans men, so I'm always on edge whenever anyone says it or something like it because it contributes to the belief that society really is trying to influence young girls to transition. I think people, when talking about passing trans men, always focus a lot on what happens when we pass and talk far less about the consequences when we don't.

Anyways this got much longer than I initially planned lmao. In general I agree with her, she obviously knows a lot and I'm also sure this was just a snippet of her beliefs on this topic. In my opinion one of the big questions about transmasculinity to work through is that of our history, because its so easy to compare it to transfems and see how little there is in comparison. And I think, besides just wanting to know more about our history, its important to investigate this to understand more about how transandrophobia works. Erasure is one of the biggest parts of transandrophobia and exploring why our existence has been erased in the past, and how that erasure has impacted our lives, will help us fight erasure today and in the future. So I hope to see more people going past just "transmascs tended to go stealth" and examine the factors which influenced this & why, across the world, transmascs tend to be erased and isolated while transfems tend to have communities and specific terms.

#m. #ask box #transmasc history #suicide tw

[cowboyjen68]

howdy jen!

I’m a younger butch, 22, and i only recently came into this label in the past year or so. i cut my hair and started embracing myself and am so much better for it, but it’s also brought a lot of struggle. primarily, i have a really hard time feeling desirable. i don’t know if it’s something to do with where i am or just my age, but i feel like it’s so much harder to meet people who are into people who look like me. it’s hard to look visibly queer, and it’s hard to be masculine. a lot of the time i feel pride in my roll as a protector and safe person, but it becomes so exhausting when i never feel safe myself. when i never feel desirable. i wonder if this is a common thing amongst butches, and if so, how do i get past it?

You could be me talking when I was 23 and just coming out. My first thought, once I really realized that I was a bit different from many of my female friends, was “What lesbian is going to be attracted to me? Lesbians like other women and I kind of look like a boy”. I truly thought that my stature, the way I walked, whatever energy or movement got me consistently mistaken for a boy (or man) was the very reason why I would never find love or passion with whom I most desired, another woman. 

In college I toned it down, I kept my hair long with a sort of short in the front mullet. I wore generic jeans and a sweatshirt to try to be somewhat comfortable but also unremarkable in my clothing choices. Looking back it made no difference. I was clockable as a lesbian, and butch, long before I fully admitted who I was to myself. 

I felt unattractive. I refused makeup and more feminine clothing and convinced myself it was because I was a “feminist” or didn’t want to invite the gaze of men because I wanted to focus on college and not date. I just knew I would be alone forever (which sounded better than being with a man in any case) and no woman would look at me as anything more than a goofy friend. 

Years later, after talking to my old friends and nights chatting with my older lesbian friends in my early 20’s I realized we all shared very similar experiences. Very few women think of themselves as desirable to others. It was the rare one, usually traditionally attractive and outgoing, who had some idea that she was interesting to the opposite sex even if she had no desire for that. Most of us had this idea that we were just plain, or ugly or just not attractive, especially to the demographic we most wanted to desire us as a romantic partner. 

The fact is, many women have a similar feeling to what you are going through regardless of her sexual orientation. 

On to the good news. The greater Western culture tends to portray butches in the media either ugly and rude or stoic or as some perfectly physically fit woman who wears a sports bra to show off her muscles and is brimming with a snarky confidence. That is show biz and not real life. 

I hear young butch4butches and young femmes and garden variety lesbians lament all the time that they can’t find butches today. “Where have all butches that love being butches gone?”  they ponder. So as a butch there are plenty of women out there seeking you and wanting to see and meet you. 

We are quite visible and it is hard to hide our lesbianism when we are in public. And most of us don’t want to. We want to be comfortable as ourselves so we put on a stiff upper lip and go into the world looking as confident and sometimes as tough looking as we can muster. Once you meet the right friends and date a woman with whom you connect you will find a feeling of safety if you let it. Allow your friends to carry some of the burden. Listen to them when they say they have your back. Let the woman you are dating stand up for you and talk about how wonderful you are. 

Take a look at my tiktoks or posts here on tumblr and you will see that butches are loved and appreciated but a vast majority of the LGBT Community. 

Wear what makes you feel confident. Get out to events at the gay bar, concerts, even non profit fundraising events. Take the time to go to places that require you to dress up and put some effort into picking an outfit that suits you. Looking good can truly lead you to feeling good. You can boost your own confidence by getting a good haircut that you love, shining your boots and putting on some light cologne. The best way to get past the feeling of being inadequate as a dating partner is to get out and meet more women to befriend.  The more women you meet the more you can see you are not alone 

As you meet more people,  and form more community connections, you become more comfortable as yourself and you feel much less endangered in public. You learn that much or your fear is thinking others are watching you when in reality most people are just trying to get through their day. This is not to say it is not important to read your surroundings, it certainly is, but you will feel much more at ease if you feel confident in yourself.

#butch #lesbian #confidence #dating #love

[bewareofthenewphannie]

Now that you’ve had some more time to become a phannie I’m curious about how your journey is going and I have some questions I’d love for you to answer if you have the time.

What is it about dnp that has made you love them so quickly?

Do you have a favorite video? Or videos?

Have you been able to catch up on some of their older content? What’s your favorite older video?

And do you enjoy their solo content? Do you have favorite solo videos for each of them?

And, finally, what has been your favorite moment as a phannie so far?

Hello there, thank you so much for the ask! But be warned, this is going to be a long one (I fully blame it on you because you asked some great questions).

What is it about dnp that has made you love them so quickly?

If we're talking about what made me love them so quickly it honestly boils down to one very simple thing: their chemistry. Because Dan is right, it is fucking unmatched.

One thing you need to know about me is that I've always been very drawn to duos with dynamics adjacent to DnP's.

(One could argue I always wanted those previous duos to have the kind of chemistry DnP have but they never were quite there. I think that's a conversation for another time though.)

Okay, but what is it about their chemistry that's so captivating?

For me it's the familiarity between them. The teasing, the fondness, them bringing out the best and worst in each other (let's be honest, it's mostly the worst), their stupid jokes and humor. The way they know and trust each other. Human connection is always something beautiful to witness and to see two people who have so clearly found each other just makes my heart sing (out pure but loving jealousy) (yes, they're making my aroace ass crave having a connection like theirs with someone).

Some other factors that made me fall so quickly were that I had been missing the excitement of being in an active fandom with new content and also, I just really needed a distraction from life (don't worry, I'm fine, just regular first semester uni things (first exam in a week, pray for me)).

So when they came waltzing along with their stupid hijinks and their pure, infectious queer joy they quite simply made me happy. And so I stayed.

Do you have a favorite video? Or videos?

I wouldn't say I have one favourite but there are some videos I keep coming back to again and again for the vibes.

In this line up we have this year's halloween baking, the mukbang, giving the people what they want...

Actually, pretty much all of their "collabs" (this word doesn't seem right for them but you know what I mean) during the hiatus are very dear to me. There's something so special about them, probably because they were setteling into their new uncensored dynamic? Or because these videos mostly felt so chill and domestic, like they were just kind of hanging out? (parasocialness warning activated!) (Is this the right place to mention how much I love the stereo shows?)

The gamingmas videos are still too fresh and too much for me to pass judgement, but I think my current favourites are the pinof reaction vid (purely for the chaos) and it takes two (because it was so damn good).

Oh, and then there's big. But we'll get to that later.

Have you been able to catch up on some of their older content? What’s your favorite older video?

I have been watching their older content quite regularly but it still feels like I've barely scratched the surface honestly.

Sure, I've covered a good chunk of the most iconic and important ones but I'm nowhere near a point where I would say I am genuinely caught up. Which definitely has its upsides because I can allow myself to be picky about what to watch.

Generally speaking I do feel myself gravitating much more towards the "newer" old content, starting in like 2017-ish. There are obviously some very good videos before that as well but so often it just feels something is off...or missing.

Some of my favourites I can think of right now are keep talking, dream daddy, honestly all of the baking vids and the impossible quiz. And the pinofs, obviously.

And do you enjoy their solo content? Do you have favorite solo videos for each of them?

Yes, i do! However I do have a very different relationship to each of their solo contents.

Phil's (newer) videos just feels like a nice warm hug. I really enjoy watching it more casually. They're so very Phil every single time and I love this man, so it's a perfect deal honestly. I'm almost guaranteed to leave them with a smile on my face.

My favourite kind of his videos are probably the ones where he tells stories because he is amazingly (badum tss) good at it. Whether it's draw my life or some random anecdotes of whatever Weird Thing happened to him this time, Phil will find a way to make it interesting and entertaining.

Also, probably a quite random and niche video I really liked was the stereo one with Seth (whom I've known for quite a while). Phil brought out such a cool side of Seth, it was so nice to watch??

Okay, now on to Dan. I fear I'm about to out myself as a dannie because Jesus fucking Christ, he made this personal.

He makes me cry. No, literally, i have cried (ugly) on multiple occasions when watching his videos.

He makes me care. Yes, about him and his happiness, whatever.

He makes me relate a bit too much. You know, something about being queer and existential fear.

He also makes me feel like maybe, maybe it will be okay.

Look, I like his less serious content that he still puts so much thought into. I thoroughly enjoyed what he did with dystopia daily because apparently I am susceptible to whatever this kind of humor he has going on is. But none of that compares to big. And I think at some point that warrants a whole sappy post on its own because I really need to slow myself down here and it's almost 2 am.

And, finally, what has been your favorite moment as a phannie so far?

For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is the goddamn catboy thing. Starting with nora predicting the merch, the merch itself, the email, and finally the pictures...it's hysterical and surreal and I hate that I can't think of anything better right now. It's probably the pure shock and disbelief of opening the notif and seeing those pictures that has overwritten everything else. Also, the discourse here on that day was amazingly unhinged (let's just forget about the Twitter aftermath).

Catboy incident aside, gamingmas as a whole has been intense but also genuinely so much fun. I just love being able to come here every single day and scream with everyone about the most pointless little things that mean the world (to us). We really do have a nice thing going on here, in our little, not-so-obscure corner of tumblr.

And gods, we're not even halfway through. I am soso excited for what they have planned because it sure as fuck won't be any more tame than what they had going on so far.

THE END

(finally. if you came this far, have a cookie 🍪)

#I think our main takeaway from this is that you shouldn't ask me questions #(I'm lying you should) #(actually please do) #and now goodnight everyone see you tomorrow #dan and phil #misty says things #answered ask

[sharpth1ng]

Hey do you have any transfem Billy headcanons

I know you’re transmasc but I feel like transfem representation is really low compared to transmasc representation

So do you have any headcanons you might have for transfem Billy

Yeah feels like there's more transfem rep in mainstream media but less in fanfiction, which sucks. But there's never enough trans rep in general, we need more of everything.

In terms of transfem Billy honestly I have a hard time coming up with anything because the characterization of this character is very rooted in masculinity and a relationship to masculinity. Billy is a gay man in my mind, so I'm not really sure how to conceptualize of a non-male Billy. Once I have a characterization in my head it's hard for me to step out of that.

To be honest I'm also not always sure what folks are looking for with trans head-canons. For the most part hcs for trans characters don't differ from their cis counterparts, unless we're talking about what steps they took to physically transition, and I feel kind of weird making a list of trans hcs that are just about physical transition.

ALL THAT SAID, I want to give you something, even if I can't give you quite what you asked for, SO:

Transfem Tatum hcs

Tatum was a pretty shy and reserved kid before she came out, didn't talk a lot, didn't have a lot of friends. She became a lot more social and bold post transition

She and Sid have basically been friends since they were babies because their moms went to the same maternity class while they were pregnant. She never really had to come out to Sid, Sid was just there the whole time

Her mom always wanted a daughter so Tatum got to do a lot of shopping and dressing up with her. There's a bunch of cute/cheesy 80's mall style portraits of her and her mom dressed up from when they went on shopping trips

As an adult Tatum wants to work in fashion, partially because it was such an important and early part of her gender expression

Stu was the first dude she came out to. She was understandably nervous because he's an idiot, but he really doesn't give a shit and it doesn't change much of anything for their relationship. He's just horny, he doesn't care what parts you have

When she's older, out of Woodboro, and able to go to bars and stuff she makes an effort to connect more with the queer community that she didn't have access to when she was younger. As a result she ends up sewing costumes for the drag queens at her local gay bar. She is beloved.

Tatum's the first girl Sid ever had a crush on

When they're older her and Sid become that one extremely wholesome (but also not to be fucked with) lesbian couple that adopts all the local queer kids who aren't safe staying at home

So yeah, I know that's not exactly what you asked for, but I'd rather give you something that feels in character than force hcs that my brain can't quite wrap around. And by the way I'm not saying transfem Billy shouldn't exist, if anyone has that in them please feel free to write it!

#transfem Tatum Riley #tatum riley #ask

[firesign23]

Can you tell me about The Queen's Thief at middle? (at length might be too much for my currently achievable level of attention 😅)

WELL, good news, I did something very stupid yesterday and mid-length is probably the most I can type right now 😂

So, my caveats I always supply before starting my rec:

The first book in the series is middle grade fiction. It’s good middle grade fiction with a lot of the same skillful execution that makes me feral for the series, but there is a maturity jump from book one to book two, and I recommend you read at least a little into book two before deciding if the series is for you. AFTER book one.

GO IN BLIND. I cannot stress enough how good it is to go in blind. No art. No reviews. Just buckle in and see where you end up. The series is good even when you know what is coming--and that’s a whole point later on--but that first exquisite moment where all the threads pull together? Experience it, you’ll thank me

Now, to keep this short I shall bullet point. Or try to. Parts of this will require a lot of “Trust me, it’s worth it” because, well, see above re: spoilers.

The series is set in a historical pseudo-Mediterranean locale, which is honestly fantastic. Really sort of blends the worlds of Greek myths and Tolkien bucolic fantasy that was many fantasy fans gateway drugs, while also feel entirely distinct. I know fantasy has spread out its influence to cultures beyond western Europe nowadays, but the first Queen’s Thief book was published in 1996 so it was definitely early to adopt that. 

The actual fantasy element is handled in such a fun way? To say too much means spoilers, but it is a story about people first and foremost, and the fantasy elements just give the plot a push from time to time. 

And oh god, the people. THE PEOPLE. I love these characters. I named my cat after one of them. My youngest child has decided that Gen is his favourite character of all time and dressed up as him for a school event. But the characters in this series are just… they’re wonderful. They are complex, with their own motivations and histories and views. My kid went from hating to loving a character in the second book in a single chapter because we got to see who they were and how they came to be that person. There are disabled characters and queer characters, but never in a way that feels checkmarky. They are funny and harsh and kind and just… human, in a way that brings me so much joy.

And not only are the characters great alone, their relationships? Again, spoilers, but this series has so many good relationships. Romantic and platonic and antagonistic. Family of choice to the EXTREME. Unlikely friendships. There is a moment in a later book where two characters hold hands and I teared up. 

THE. WRITING. I could go on and on and fucking ON about the writing, whole post in itself. But it makes me feral. The books’ use of perspective are art, absolutely exquisite. Each book does something unique with the narrative point of view, and does it deliberately. The first person perspective is telling us a story, and tells us what he wants us to know. The historical record makes the characters the most human by letting us see behind the Great Events. It’s just one of my favourite examples of POV I’ve ever read.

The narrative never lies to us, but trusts the reader to draw connections. This is one of those “Makes more sense with spoilers” moments, but the writing is incredibly good at telling us everything we need to know exactly when we need to know it, and not before. And it results in this fantastic joy when it all pulls together--it’s not really plot twists, because we have been told (almost) everything, but you get an incredible payoff.

The books get better with every reread. I was recently working through the second book with my kid, who devoured The Thief two years ago (and probably a dozen times since) but wanted to be a bit older before tackling the rest of the series, and I was still catching details that I had missed or forgotten from previous reading. 

The contents of the stories are just… there’s war and grief and rage, politic machinations, trauma, betrayal. And the narrative doesn’t handwave those things, but it doesn’t wallow in delight in them either. It’s just a series that takes you by the hand and says “Bad things happen, and we will live with those things forever, but it doesn’t have to define you. What’s important is the connections we make with other people, who will catch you when you fall.” Reading the series leaves me with that same hopefulness that drew me to Discworld? I may not be explaining it well.

The actual writing style, on top of being masterful, is so much fun. It’s sparse, but in a way that makes every word feel important. It’s delightfully funny, heartbreaking, evocative. Just a joy to sink into. 

And I just realised this is definitely getting long, so I’ll stop for now. But I highly, highly, highly recommend the series. And hey, if this made anyone want to vote for The Queen’s Thief, the poll is here!

(Also, if you do read it and like the series, the author is on tumblr and is an interesting person to follow. Just don’t do it before reading, because occasional spoilers)

#Attolia #asks #the queens thief #megan whalen turner #the QT fandom is also awesome? #smart and insightful and there are so many good meta posts that say the above in much better ways #I think this is the series that has made me scream while reading the most because there are Moments in every single book

[skepticalarrie]

Sorry this got kinda long but; Do you think that in 1D days when they were told/forced to distance and they were younger and perhaps more naive, it looked like they were kinda raging against the closet/management in whatever way they could and trying to show fans in the best way they could they were together? Rainbow bears, serenading, tattoos ect, whereas nowadays it looks to me as if they want to remain quite private about their relationship and instead of trying to convince people they are together like back in the day, the ‘proof’ we get now; queer coding, bluegreening and clothing coding (like Louis wearing maison shirt for H shirt for example) is less for proving to Larries and fans and just more like Louis making a gesture from himself to H and parallels in lyrics and the way they speak about certain topics so similar isn’t them trying to convince people of anything or intentional it’s just them being themselves and naturally we can all make the connection? Like now they’re Not necessarily trying to piss off their management (especially considering they’re probably more friendly with their individual mangers now than they were with modest) and more just being themselves as best they can. And they know that the people who actually get it will get it and they have nothing to really ‘prove’ because the fans that know, know. Probably just accepted that in order to have successful careers and keep their teams employed they can’t really come out in this still majorly homophobic industry and probably value their relationship enough to keep it for themselves, that they’ll just accept having to stunt for the foreseeable(as much as it sucks, especially lately, bleugh)

Things like the Umbro shirt for example I always thought it was more of an oopsie moment than internationally for fans/Larries. I don’t think Harry specifically went out that particular day to be caught by a random fan wearing it or else he would have worn it somewhere more public or for a media day or something. I think that was like an oops moment for them.

I just feel right now that they’re being quite private and not everything they do is connected to proving ‘Larry’ but naturally we’ll still see the connections because there’s too many. Disappearing at the same time, being so similar in mannerisms and how they define fame and success, lyrics and not wanting to say what they’re about this time around. Of course it could just be because they’re not in the band anymore so naturally the ‘proof’ we get is no longer looks and serenading and instead things you have to piece together and have knowledge of, but anyway those are my thoughts

Hi, anon! I like your thoughts, this is a very interesting discussion. In my opinion, I don't think they ever did it for us or to piss off management. Not really, or not directly. You're making everything a little too much about us, sometimes we forget it's their closeting, their fight, their relationship. We're just watching it, we don't have any active participation in it and what we know doesn't even scratch the surface of what they really have. So I think the way they felt the need to communicate so intensely at times was always about themselves, and how they were feeling. To make what they had valid, acknowledged, and somehow express their love. They were obviously so much more oppressed before, everything was so so so cruel and rough, so I think the natural reaction to this much repression was to scream louder, to fight back. And the fact we got involved, we listened to what they were saying, is just a plus, they ended up feeding from our reaction as well... and I believe that's where the bears came from. They wanted to educate people about the industry about gay rights, they wanted to make sure people were aware that this kind of things were happening and it's still happening. But it was never about us or giving us proof.

Now they're older, their relationship is more solid and mature. They went through hell and back. I fully believe they're much more in control of what they want. So maybe there isn't much need to feel what they have validated or to express that so intensely. Although it is still there, the colours, the songs, the coded clothing. It's their way to make it real and it's lovely, they need to do what they feel like doing. I wonder how many things they do it only for themselves that we have no idea of. The only things we're picking up are the stuff we already have some sort of knowledge about it, there's so much stuff we could never possibly make sense of. It just hit me one of these days that we've seen them more as solo artists than in the same band by now, more separated than together. The only thing we have to piece things together is a few hundreds of videos during 5 years of their relationship. And that's a speck of dust compared to their reality.

I talked about this several times, but I'm sure there are many reasons why they're not out, it's not that simple and I think it's very plausible if privacy is one of these reasons. I fully believe they love to express themselves like that and feel acknowledged by us, but what they have is still theirs. This is the kind of thing you only realise when you get to a certain level of maturity. And to be honest, I would also want to protect that if I was them. They have this fraction of fans who know about it and acknowledge it, and look how complicated that is already. So, good for them!

#ask #communicating #closeting

[dairy-farmer]

(Sorry I know I just sent you a thing but I just typed this out on my phone while running errands because my brain picks the worst times to be inspired. Btw, I see this as being set the night after the 'go fetch' convo lol. Where Lois reconsiders a lot of her preconceptions. Also dick and Damian aren't as close as in canon because Bruce Darkseid Timeline Adventure never happened so Bruce and Damian are very close here. Sorry for any typos

Cheers, ~♡♡♡)

Lois lays in the obscenely comfortable bed, with its fluffy comforter and mountain of pillows and thinks, forcing aside her angry to try and look at the situation objectively. 

There is an age gap, but Clark's parents, like a lot of older queer people have a fairly large age gap too, almost 15 years, and they're genuinely happy together. Lois wonders how they got together, wonders if what she has envisioned from the start has any accuracy. Because she has always imagined it as poor little Tim, queer and lonely, being cornered night after night by a boss who holds all the power and has hands which try and take that which doesn't belong to him. That Tim was scared into silence like Lois was for so long at her first internship in college before she grew brave enough to put her foot down and speak up for herself. She made it personal, yes, and usually that works to her advantage because its gives her an empathy that puts experience behind her stories. 

She thinks instead of a lonely queer kid, forced to grow up too soon meeting a lonely man who struggles to socialize outside of a mask. Thinks about them connecting, talking, laughing until slowly, words turn into soft touches, into soft kisses, and so much more. It was a story she never would have guessed on her own, and she still doesn't know if its any truer then the first, but… She can see it now, can see how a softer story might have played out, one filled with love. She thinks about Tim, never truly alone in this big, empty house, and wonders.

Yes, there are cameras everywhere, but unlike Clark, Bruce can't always be a moment away from his family. And yes, there are parts of Lois, regardless of her sense of independence that does find comfort and safety in the idea her husband, her superman, is always just a word away from being at her side in a moment. That any danger she may find herself in, she has backup from her partner. Maybe Tim finds a similar comfort in knowing Bruce could be watching any time. 

The door creaks only the slightest bit when opened, but its still enough to have her sitting up when Clark enters. 

"Hey, how was your day?" He asks softly, moving fully into the room and closing the door behind him. 

"Not what I expected. I talked to Tim outside today, and he… he isn't who I thought he was." She offers, laying back down, but making sure she's still facing Clark. 

"Yeah, I get that. It wasn't until I had spent time with the two of them together that I really started to understand why Bruce married Tim. They're good for each other, I think." Clark says thoughtfully, while he takes his superman suit off. Lois hums, thinking.

"Hey, what made you change your mind about Bruce and Tim? Like, what moment or conversation reframed them for you. Because I remember you came home one day talking about it, even if I refused to listen. Would you tell me now?" She asks quietly, feeling slightly regretful she had brushed off her husband as yet another man protecting his friends bad behavior. 

"Yeah, I can." Clarks agrees, pulling on some pajamas before climbing into bed. 

"Hey, you showered right?" Lois asks, abruptly. It only took waking up to unidentifiable substances in her bed to make that rule. He was usually very good about it, but when he was tired enough, he would sometimes put if off until the next morning. 

"Yes, dear. At the Watchtower. I just didn't wanna fly back in my regular clothes because I hate being seen in them on the tower. No one ever let's it go." Clark kevtched, and Lois smiled at him, struck by how much she adored him. 

"Anyways, you wanna know when I changed my mind on Tim and Bruce? Well, you know how immediate family of Justice League members can brought up and shown around incase of emergency where they need to be hidden up there? Well, one of the times Tim was up there, Damian and the other younger kids were there, going through what to do in an emergency and Damian was unhappy he was with the family instead of with the theoretical fighting. Tim sat Damian next to him and basically asked him what Bruce valued most. Damian, he quickly answered Justice. But Tim, corrected him and said family. He said Bruce valued family above all else, so being asked to be the last line of defense of the family was an honor that showed that Damian was being entrusted with the thing that Bruce valued most. And I think the reason it stuck with me is that Damian doesn't like or listen to anyone outside of her Father as far as I can tell. Damian places on a lot of value on physical strength, fight ability, and intelligence. 

"For him to listen to and value what Tim was saying, implies that not only is Tim's word equal at home, when it comes to the children, but that Bruce must respect him a lot. Because Damian really does mimic Bruce, always trying to emulate his Father. And I guess, that made me rethink what I knew of their relationship. And, yeah, I did start spending more time with Bruce and family, and really reinforced what I thought- that Tim does have a lot of control over the household, and that Bruce really does adore Tim. I dunno though, I could be wrong. But I think they're both better for having met." Clark's voice trails off towards the end, clearly lost in thought.

Lois isn't sure with everything Clark just told her, and surprised that that was what shifted his view of Bruce and Tim. 

"like Lois was for so long at her first internship in college"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH i opened this right after i posted the first bit and it seems to be by chance but it looks like we both decided that lois's bad experience happened in college!!!! great minds really do think alike!!!!!! <333333

and THIS!! clark and lois having this short heart to heart where for the first time since they disagreed on bruce and tim's relationship, they're talking AND listening to each other. clark helping ease lois into seeing and understanding what he did.

lois is running it all back through her mind, trying to figure out why tim didn't want to open up to her. but of course he didn't, if she was the one who was saying and doing the wrong thing not bruce. her trying to put them on the same level as martha and jonathon, comparing about why one is acceptable to her but the other isn't.

you can see lois examining it all internally until clark comes along to help her!! <333333

this moment between lois and clark is so sweet, you can see how comfortable they are with each other and how they're reaching this middle ground of understanding between them!! <333

hooray for lois and being one to self-reflect even if she's a bit angry!!

#anonymous #answered asks #asks #civilian au

[artemiseamoon]

I’ve started reading Interview with the vampire (book) again because the show transported me back to falling inlove with the chronicles. It took me back to reading the book, for the first time, in the late 90s when I was an all black clothes / fishnet/ / fiery red hair/ silver moon boots wearin and lunchbox carrying hs freshman.

Yes the adaptation is different in many ways but I still am head over heels for it. The main thing that sold me is how the actors truly understand the characters and that is sooooo important to me. They’ve acted out and bought to life things I’ve imaged or read between Annes lines. These characters have lived with me since I was a teen and tho I was very hesitant about this adaptation, I’m so pleased and now I trust them with the material.

I could rant about this forever, so I’ll just try to keep it shortish. All the problematic and disturbing stuff aside, and there is lots of it, (as I grow older I just skim past that stuff and pretend it’s not there but I’m sure the books could be hard for people nowadays and those more immediately sensitive to things ) the vampire chronicles still mean so much to me.

One of my first friends in HS was this kid who dressed like lestat and modeled himself after him. I saw the guy and went “omg we must be friends”. I’m a shy person, even now I have a hard time initiating friendships, even if I really want to, but I did take the lead with that one. The girl who introduced me to the series was the only other quiet girl in class, the both of us sat in the back and would scribble in our notebooks with headphones on. One day she handed me her worn and frayed copy of IWTV and said “check it out, I think you’ll like it” -

Around the time I discovered the books, I was also figuring out my own sexuality and queerness. I’ve always been a vampire girl and used to watch the old black and white vamp films. These books came into my life at a time I really needed a world to escape to and this took me there. I have the whole collection and still go back and reread some of them. The Vampire Chronicles will always be important to me and hold a special place in my heart.

There are many things I love about the shows version. I want to wrap this up, so for now I’ll just make mention of Louis being a gay creole black man. As someone of direct Creole LA ancestry, it just touches me even deeper and makes the world of IWTV so much richer for me. I just - I love it. I can now understand things about Louis and connect to him in a way I couldn’t before. In fact, I like him better this way. Louis wasn’t my fav in the original but this Louis, Jacobs Louis, I love it and tho it’s different there are still essential parts that make Louis - Louis.

Ps: I have a few fav characters but I’ve always been a Lestat gal (even wrote lots of fanfic scribbled in notebooks that no one but me ever saw) and Sam - he did that shit. I’m so picky how all the characters are depicted but the most picky about my problematic complicated French vampire. And I bow to Sam- it’s a standing ovation from me. And Jacobs Louis, chefs kiss. Flowers! All of them really! I’m only undecided about Armand- we’ll see how I feel in S2.

#amc iwtv #iwtv thoughts

[softdarjeeling]

How are you doing? You don't post on any social media anywhere anymore.

i've addressed this subject elsewhere before but i suppose i can again. the internet or 'social media', used to be a safe haven for me and overall, a place to connect and meet with other queer, neurodivergent, or marginalized people. since having autism, other mental health disorders, past traumas, and my psychological state made it so that socially, i hardly fit in anywhere in physical life. i've always interpreted the internet as a wonderful resource for not only information but also to form and grow real connections, with being able to relate to seeking connections outside of physical life- for me, those being very, very limited and as i've gotten older and more mature, somehow even more limited. i don't post much on instagram anymore and i'm not sure if i plan to. i don't have a real purpose when it comes to sharing information about my life or my self. the only purpose that currently would exist is so that other people who feel the same as me could possibly connect with me, since they would understand my mannerisms best. otherwise i am okay with anything else passing in any form it wants to. there isn't a goal that i can achieve with posting that would be genuinely coming from my true self. nothing about me makes me more or less worthy than anyone else, no matter what i share online about my life or self, which is why i choose to keep it minimal in those spaces. i also notice and witness lot of depressing topics on social media and other places on the internet too, which i find redundant for even inhabiting that space. i'm surprised at myself for even taking up space online for as often as i have, as the means for me to even exist here has decreased greatly, even though there was a purpose behind why i was doing so. it's almost as if the chances of connecting with people has been taken away from me, simply because i am not grouped in with the majority of socially privileged people. another thing to consider and something that's not obviously relevant but is: there are many things about us as people that do not change. they don't change because psychologically, they are a part of our personality. these are deeply rooted traits that were created from social stimuli since birth. they can evolve over time to be strengthened. as in, we can rid ourselves of the pieces we don't like and enhance the ones we've built for ourselves over time as we've learned to navigate new environments. however, the story from where we came from and our make up never changes. it's really interesting to examine

that doesn't mean that there aren't facts about me worth sharing at all or that anything that i don't share isn't worth knowing- it just means that i feel a shift of freedom online now when i share my experiences. i post or share whatever i want, for the reasoning that i choose in that moment. with that being said, i'm doing alright, i'd like to think. the pet i had is not in my care anymore and she was the most interesting responsibility i had for some time. she kept me very busy. now that she's not with me anymore, i've reshifted my focus back to caring for myself, as it's really needed at this time. some days i've felt that i don't have enough to give myself but i understand why and it's frustrating because it is nothing that has to do with me personally; i can't control certain aspects of reality outside of my life that happen to affect me. my day to day life is what most people would probably consider boring. i read and i quietly sit, mostly- doing not much of anything. my seasonal depression can get bad when i don't have anything to really focus on, so i've been trying hold my inner child steadily throughout these months and tell myself that i am worth the care i am giving to myself. i'm already preparing for the worst by planning ahead and doing the best i can now, it's helpful. i hope you're doing alright, i appreciate your curiosity and concern!

#asks

[khaleesiofalicante]

I am in need of advice and you are mature and wise. Your ask box is the older sister I never had

Before I moved to where i live now I met this girl. We met in the beginning of the school year and I left right after the exams. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. For about two years later (2018-2019) we used to talk everyday. If not daily than at least weekly. She was my best friend at the time but I wasn’t hers.

While we didn’t know each other for long I really liked her and her energy. I don’t even know why and maybe I seem obsessive and creepy for still thinking about her. She was my best friend at the time. She is the first person who ever came out to me. She is the first lgbt+ person I’ve ever known. The more I think about it the more I realize maybe I innocently liked her as more than just a friend.

Just before we stopped talking I went back home. We planned to meet up and hangout and she asked me if I would take the train with her to se her girlfriend at another city. It wasn’t too far but we were both young girls and I didn’t feel comfortable doing that so I said no. For whatever reason we ended up not meeting up when I went home. Two days after our latest conversation she asked me a question which I didn’t see until a few months ago (2-3 years later) but even ignoring the question I still texted her “hey” to which she saw and didn’t reply. She deleted her old Instagram account (i think) and I couldn’t find her in our mutual friends until like 30 minutes ago.

For months I’ve been wanting to text her. I don’t even know what I would say or what I want to say. We didn’t fight and things didn’t end badly or anything like that. She has changed her profile picture multiple times in the past few months and also has a new Instagram account.

The question is… should I request to follow her? Should I text her? What should I say? WHY do I want to text her? What if she blocks me or leaves me on read? What do I do?

Okay, that's a LOT of questions and I don't have answers for all of them 😂

But I can give you clarity on a couple of things.

I think the reason why you want to go back to her is that you do have some fond memories of her. You mentioned that she was your first queer friend and that's the kind of connection that makes you feel safe and comforted. These kinds of people, especially at a young age, make you feel seen.

So, we go back to these people, when we seek that comfort and safety.

Sometimes we don't want that person back. We just want that feeling back.

We want to remember and relive how we used to feel when we were with them.

Perhaps that's what you want too. Maybe you miss having a close queer friend. Maybe you miss having a best friend. Maybe you just miss her.

You should think a little bit about it.

If that's the case, then remember that you can find comfort and safety and whatever feeling she helped you feel in other people.

You can always make new friends (queer or not) who will treat you better (I'm not kind of fond of the way she treated you, if I may say that).

But if you feel like this is unfinished business and you want to see it through, then, by all means, go ahead and reach out to her.

If she doesn't respond or block you, then you know it's done.

Then you move on.

There are some things we should overthink and some things we shouldn't.

This, I feel, is one of the latter.

Good luck x.

#support

[oz--saffet]

S Y D - P O T E N T I A L C O N N E C T I O N S / P L O T S

Below the cut are multiple potential connections & plots for a character to potentially take up with SYD RIPLEY. Please be aware of any trigger warnings before proceeding, and message me if interested!

TW // Blood, Sexual Mention, Violence

🫂 Sedate Me - It’s a hot summer out in the middle of nowhere- and you meet a wayward young adult with an ugly haircut and a dumb smile. He’s green around the edges, and came from a family in Louisiana. But you’re far from there, maybe a traveler yourself, and at some basement party thrown by the grungy underground queer kids of a derelict city, you get to talking- but more importantly, you get to experiencing. Whatever drugs you both take leave you sitting on a rooftop somewhere, throwing water balloons at street lamps to see if they’ll extinguish. You learn about Syd’s fucked up life with an uppercrust witch family of assholes. High out of your minds, you both make a vow to be best fucked up friends forever, locking pinkies. And when Syd moves to Greywood, somehow or another, you end up there too. Before or after doesn’t matter. Fate just has a way of pulling y’all back together again.

👊 Fight Me/Kiss Me - You hate his shit face. He’s always saying something stupid or brazenly convinced something’s right when it’s wrong. Not only that, but he shows up to things and always just seems to be trying to get a word in. You don’t fully notice the loneliness there, the way Syd tries to make friends. But you revel in arguing with him- and he relishes in it right back. Drinks at the bar turns into rolling eyes and pushes and shoves, until you’re both out in the parking lot. Until he’s under you breathing heavy and the stale beer emanating from your breath has him gripping your jacket and tugging you in. You both fuck and fight like it’s your job, and you’re not sure which you enjoy more.

💭 Miss Me - You’re a similar age to the one Ripley ‘daughter’ and you get along swimmingly. You both live out in Louisiana and you often meet up with the Ripley kids when they actually go outside. The youngest is rebellious and excitable, and even as a preteen, the Ripley ‘daughter’ starts to go by Syd. You two go off into the woods and hunt frogs. You see how deep into the mud you can go without sinking like a dead gator, and you go searching for elusive ‘mystery fish’, a favorite game of Syd’s. You’re kindred spirits, made of muck and algae and the smell of wet bark. Syd’s cooler brother Chet always calls you both ‘the little swamp monsters’. In high school Syd asks you to help cut his hair, and you steal his older brother’s car and go looking for ghosts. But Syd ran off on his 16th birthday, and maybe you’ve texted and FaceTimed, but it’s not the same... until Syd shows up in Greywood, a grimy werewolf with a chip on his shoulder. How do you both restart your old friendship? Is it tough, or does it feel like no time has passed?

👋 Introduce Me - You are a werewolf, and regardless of how long you’ve been that way, you are impressive to Syd. Syd, who grew up figuring out his life and only having a few friends, only to lose them all when he ran away to Greywood. He’s spent his life driving around not really having a place to call home... and now he’s here, a werewolf, and barely understands what it means to have a ‘pack’. He needs help... and you can feel it. He’s desperate for some kind of connection but often gets into fights instead. You think he might need to be taken under someone’s wing. Maybe he needs help being introduced to the pack, to the places they go. Even just being filled in on what’s been going on around Greywood from someone who gets it. Syd is desperate to belong but doesn’t know how to make that shown- and maybe you see that, just a little bit. He’s standoffish at first, but finds you comforting and helpful. He may even see you as a form of guidance or a close friend.

🏥 Help Me - You are someone in a car at night. It’s so dark out and your high-beams are on, and the radio is turned up. For some reason it’s slow & sad songs tonight, and you’re eager to get home. Roy Orbison croons. ‘I was alright, for a while, I could smile for a while. Then I saw you last night, you held my hand so tight, when you stopped to say ‘hello’.’ The next second, you see a small man tripping out of the woods and right onto the street. He’s bloody and his clothing is torn and his eyes are wide. He’s bruised up and terrified... and against the fear screaming in the back of your head, you help him into your car. His name is Syd, and he flops back into your passenger seat after you’ve asked him if he’s alright. He’s out of it and mumbling something about a giant hairy beast. He’s trying not to bleed on your car’s interior. He’s silent for a second and laughs weakly. ‘Shit, is that- this is one of my favorite songs.’ From there on, you start to talk carefully. He’s been attacked by a werewolf, and he’s bleeding- a lot. Over the course of a few days, you help clean him up and learn about Syd’s life, traveling place to place. You finally send him on his way. But when you end up in Greywood for whatever reason, you see him again, looking nothing like the scared, shaken man you met less than a year ago.

#sydmuse #sydplots #sydconnections #WOOOOOO

[bookofmirth]

ok so this might come off as a bit rambly so please bear with me lol

i've noticed that the acotar fandom has this incessant need to be right when it comes to canon and it really sucks out the funness of fandom. shipping is supposed to be fun but when it comes to this fandom, it's almost like a competition to see who will be more right when the books come out. engaging with theories/predictions about characters and the plot is supposed to be exciting but when it comes to this fandom, some of the theories/predictions are problematic at worst and nonsensical at best. like how can you say with your full chest that you're so confident about where the series is heading in the future because of this or that theory when you're stuck in the past and refuse to see what all of the text is telling you in the present. it doesn't make sense. the selective reading is so strong that it has me looking sideways sometimes lol

i guess my question is why do you think the fandom is so divided when it comes to ships right now? i've seen people say this wasn't the case for feysand and nessian, so what's the difference here?

Oh boy Brielle, I have some thoughts on this. It's complex.

To be clear, I am not saying that this applies to literally every single person who ships a certain way. This is a commentary on the fandom as a whole, and there are always exceptions.

This got really, really long, so I'm putting it under the cut.

I think that one of the main draws of this series, and of sjm's writing in general, is her ships. I think that people get very, very attached to their ships.

I also think that sjm does NOT fully think through some of the choices that she makes when writing. See: the way that she takes from all these different cultures and mashes them together, which could be seen as disrespectful of their origin. She has retconned things, like Mor being queer and Lucien being Helion's son. I think that she thoroughly thinks about some of the aspects of her books, like Rhys's reaction to sleeping with Feyre for the first time, but then really half-asses other aspects of her books, like Mor coming out.

Then, we have your good old misogyny and homophobia - people in the fandom don't like Mor because she hurt the poor bat boy's feelings when she didn't sleep with him, and they don't have a mating bond, but she's never really told Azriel "no", and so every single moment of pain that Azriel has felt in 500 years is Morrigan's fault. And Mor's experience as a closeted queer woman who feels unsafe around the people she should trust the most is completely disregarded by the fandom.

Finally, I think that a combination of these factors has created the monster we know as e*riel, and that the fandom is perpetuating its own mythology.

What all of this comes down to, and the real reason I think that the fandom is behaving this way right now, is that e*riel is dead. It's never happened, it's not going to happen, but because we don't have the clear closure we got with moriel (where people would be accused of homophobia for continuing to ship it), people are still trying to figure out any possible way for e*riel to become canon, though every single sign points to it being a non-issue.

This weird thing where people have to be "right" all the time, and the way that "right" = "canon" is a relatively new development. It's as if everyone in this fandom forgot that they are in fact in a fandom, which inherently diverges from canon.

However, I think that the need to cling to canon is because the alternative would be to admit defeat and say "well, even if it doesn't happen I will still ship e*riel, it's fine, I will live with that." But they don't want to do that. In response, they look at canon so hard that they are reading the white space between the letters to create their theories, which as you noted as largely nonsensical and often fail to take into account who the characters are as individuals, how they are connected to other characters, and why it would or wouldn't be appropriate for them to be involved in various plots.

People could say, as eluciens having been saying since day one, "I really ship this thing but I can see that it might not become canon". But they don't say that. They literally refuse to see any other possibility than e*riel becoming canon.

You pointed out that people are stuck in the past - absolutely. The number of reimaginings I have seen of scenes where either Azriel or Elain has literally zero to do with the scene, but people try to shove one or both of them in there. And this from books ago. People are stuck on the Truthteller scene, and refuse to acknowledge that neither of them have acted on their feelings, whatever those might be, for years. And they ignore the fact that once Elain and Az do act, it goes horribly wrong.

Here are the facts as of right now:

ACOSF is the most recent book. In that book, sans extra chapter, those two had no interaction other than looking at one another.

If we include his POV, then he said it was wrong, we got confirmation that nothing has ever happened between them, she returned his necklace. Elain was aroused, but that does not mean she was ready to even have sex. "Yes" to a kiss is not "yes" to every single sexual act Az can think of. They parted on awkward, bad terms after a scene in which it seemed like they were about to start something. Yikes. Unlike Wings and Embers, they did not end that chapter still thinking of one another. After they part ways, the omniscient narrator does not mention Elain, or Az thinking about Elain, again.

His POV occurs months before the end of the book. They do not interact after that.

Elain has a mate she has not rejected, nor accepted.

So anyway, your question was why are people like this. lol. I think the fandom created a monster, and that monster is clinging to life. It can't accept the idea of morphing into a non-canon ship, though it never was canon in the first place. It had just convinced itself that it was.

There are other aspects to this, that have to do with gwynriel and elucien.

Gwynriel is a new ship, it's almost guaranteed to happen, people are super excited to ship it and give Gwyn all their love. I'm sure they would rather create content for that ship than argue about whether or not it's going to be canon, but they are in constant defense mode. Some people honestly didn't like e*riel before because they don't like Elain, or because they don't like Azriel, and those are valid reasons for not liking it. Why people ship gwynriel doesn't matter. The tone of the discussion is, unfortunately, being shaped elsewhere, which I will mention below.

Elucien is an old ship, older than e*riel. I can speak from this perspective - personally, I have been holding my tongue for 4.5 years. I have been letting people live, and just talking about the things I like. Then when acosf came out, it was like I could finally say all the things I had been thinking about Azriel, because I now had proof that the things I thought about his character (and because of that, about e*riel) now had solid canon foundation. This is 4.5 years of me holding in a lot of shit and finally being able to say it. Sometimes yes, I might take joy in having been right.

I think that a few people are clinging to canon, and that sets the tone for the discourse in the fandom. Someone says "according to page whatever, blah blah blah" and people feel the need to respond, and then it turns into and "I'm right" contest instead of... a fandom... A lot of us like debating. To me, it's fun. But when Person A starts a conversation that's about canon and it actually ignores canon, it's hard to let that conversation go by and just keep creating whatever we want to create. Instead, we respond, and so the tone of the conversation is shaped by what Person A decided to say.

I also think that there is a lack of distinction between theories (what will happen in the future) and meta (analysis of what we have now).

There is also a lack of "I" statements. Opinions are being stated as fact.

idk if there is a way to make it better, other than to just go back to ignoring one another. This whole situation makes me want to throw out every single canon ship I like and create exclusively non-canon content, just for spite. Except I really like doing meta, and so I don't want to. I guess for my point, I'll just keep doing meta, keep creating different content, and keep reminding people that they aren't here to continue perpetuating canon, but to play with it.

#ask #gimme-mor #acotar #antielriel #gwynriel #elucien #acotar fandom #fandom things #fandom history

[wifeylouis]

Louis Tomlinson writes queer love songs about the queer experience.

Louis is a prolific songwriter who has penned most of the iconic One Direction songs and has written on every single one of the songs from his debut album Walls. LGBT+ fans have always resonanted with Louis’ song writing and most of us have picked up on the very obvious queer coding. Many people seem to dismiss Louis’ outcries about his sexuality through his songs and I’m here to bring back the attention to all the gay anthems Louis has given us! 

Before someone brings up the fact that Liam Payne has written on these songs too, in his own words, he focused more on melodies and Louis on the actual lyrics!

In One Direction:

1. Strong

I'm sorry if I say, "I need you" But I don't care, I'm not scared of love 'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker Is that so wrong? Is it so wrong That you make me strong?

Here Louis talks about not being scared of loving his partner and asks them if it's so wrong for them to be in love and to need each other. A very common thing gay people are told is that it’s wrong for us to love our significant other. Louis is trying to make his lover realise that it’s okay for them to do so, and that there's nothing to be afraid of.

Think of how much Love that's been wasted

People always Trying to escape it Move on to stop their heart breaking But there's nothing I'm running from You make me strong

Many older gay people have remained in the closet all their lives and have tried to “escape” from their truths and from who they really are, because they have been (and still are) afraid of rejection or the heartbreak they might face if they were out. 

Specially back when things were even worse for the community, gay people would remain in straight marriages and even have children - take the example of Philip Schofield, the british presenter who only came out as gay this year after 27 years of marriage. 

Louis, on the other hand, says that he isn’t ashamed of who he is and he isn’t running away from his true self. He knows who he loves and is proud of himself. 

2. Alive

My mother told me I should go and get some therapy I asked the doctor, "can you find out what is wrong with me?

Here louis refers to how families and society often tell us that being gay is something that needs to be fixed. The “doctor” could be a reference to conversion therapy that many gay people in homophobic religious families are forced to go through. If you grow up around that mindset, you might really wonder if something is wrong with you. 

She said, "hey, it's alright Does it make you feel alive? Don't look back Live your life Even if it's only for tonight" She said, "hey, it's alright If it makes you feel alive"

So the doctor tells him that it’s okay to be himself and to live his truth, love who he loves, because all that matters is doing what truly makes him “feel alive” which is being himself. 

I whispered something in her ear that I just can't repeat She said, "okay" but she was worried what her friends will think She's going crazy Can't contain it She asked me, "what should I do, oh?"

Those of us who have been in a closet have at some point worried about our friends finding out, I know that I have been careful of being with another girl if there was a chance my friends would find out about it. We all know the theory that if you replace the girl in Alive with a man, the song changes its  meaning. It clearly becomes a song about a guy hooking up with another man at the same party, and him worrying about what his friends would think about him being with another guy. Louis is telling him what the doctor told him: that it’ll be alright, and that he needs to do what makes him feel alive! To be who he is and to live his truth freely. I love this theory for the song because it makes so much sense!

3. Through the dark 

You tell me that you're sad and lost your way You tell me that your tears are here to stay But I know you're only hiding And I just wanna see you

Here he's probably referring to a lover or a friend who was maybe afraid to accept themselves. This song reminds of Taylor Swift’s "Seven" where she sings about a friend who will no longer have to be in the closet if they leave their homophobic home and come live with her. Louis is telling a friend, who has lost their way trying to find themselves, that their true self is still there, hiding under that blanket of shame and self hatred. 

You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain And I can see your head is held in shame, But I just wanna see you smile again See you smile again

The theme of “hiding” and “shame” are obvious references to internalised homophobia and Louis is telling his friend or lover that he wants to see them happy, wants them to accept who they are. Throughout the song he reminds them that he will always be there for them and that he will support them and love them regardless of what society might say. He just wants them to be happy and to be themselves. 

4. Ready to run

There's a moment when you finally realize There's no way you can change the rolling tide

All of us have had that moment when we realised we were queer, for some of us it happened at a young age and for some of us later on in life. But that moment of realisation and coming to terms with our sexuality is a shared experience for the entire community. Louis talks about that moment, about realising who he is and not wanting to change it because the truth is there and he’s accepted it. 

There will always be the kind that criticize But I know, yes I know we'll be alright

As LGBT+, we face a lot of criticism from society and Louis talks about how he doesn't care about who stands against him and his lover, he knows they’ll be alright because he believes in their love. 

 5. End of the day

All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break Sometimes All I know at the end of the day is love who you love There ain't no other way If there's something I've learnt from a million mistakes You're the one that I want at the end of the day

A wlw anthem! Louis really does love his sapphics and this song was easily claimed by his wlw fans. He again talks about staying true to himself and living his truth even if he might face rejection and heartbreak, he can’t change who he is. A common phrase associated with the LGBT+ community is “Love is Love”. Louis speaks on the same theme and says that nothing can change him because he knows who he loves and there’s nothing wrong with who he loves and wants. He talks about how he's not afraid of being in love with this person and he's ready to say what he wants about his lover, because he's not ashamed of his feelings in any way or form. And he’ll follow his heart even though he might be rejected. 

The priest thinks it's the devil My mum thinks it's the flu But girl it's only you

He refers to the “priest” and “mom” like he did with the “doctor” and “mother” in Alive. Religion tells us that being gay is something wrong and evil, our family tells us that it’s just a phase that we will get over, and Louis talks about these elements in many of his songs. But he knows that there’s nothing wrong with his feelings, it isn’t a phase or a trend for him, he loves who he loves and there’s no other way. 

7. Home

Make a little conversation So long I've been waiting So let go of myself and feel alive

Here Louis refers to the feeling of being “alive” once again. Being who he really is makes him feel like he’s truly living. He’s finally “letting go” of himself, as in coming to terms with who he is. 

So many nights I thought it over Told myself I kind of liked her But there was something missing in her eyes

Louis leaked Home even though it wasn’t a single and even tweeted a little Home emoji for it! This song was quickly claimed by LGBT+ fans as exclusively for us and we even started Project Home for it. Here he talks about how he tried to make himself believe he liked this girl, but at the end of the day he knew it wasn't right and there was something missing. Most of us have tried to make ourselves believe that maybe we’re just confused, and many of us have suffered through comp-het, or giving heterosexuality one last chance before realising that something’s wrong and this isn’t for us. 

I was stumbling, looking in the dark  With an empty heart But you say you feel the same Could we ever be enough? Baby we could be enough

There was a point in time where he was confused, figuring out where he fell on the spectrum, he was “stumbling” through this journey of self acceptance and he found his lover along the way. Someone who told him that they felt the same way he did. This is again a common shared experience in the LGBT+ community, finding comfort in realising that there’s other members of the community around us who are like us, we are not alone in this struggle. Finding that person who felt the same way he did, was enough for him.

I see the smile as it starts to creep in It was there, I saw it in your eyes

Referencing the missing something in the girl’s eyes from before, Louis says that he’s found it in his lover’s eyes. They’re happy, they know who they are, they’ve accepted themselves. I also made a connection here with a lyric from Louis’ song Walls where he sings “Looked you in the eyes, saw that I was lost” perhaps implying he could no longer find that “something” in his lover’s eyes, he no longer feels the same way. Louis’ songs have many easter eggs and little references to eachother, it’s amazing how he’s writing a story through his songs and no matter which album or era you pick a song from, they all link with eachother and can be written down like a cohesive story. He’s a really brilliant, smart songwriter. 

In his debut album Walls:

Something to note here, Louis hasn’t used a single pronoun in the entirety of Walls. Unlike the unnecessary “girl” in awkward places that were forced into One Direction songs, Louis’ debut album is a beauty, gender neutral piece that is relatable to everyone, regardless of who are partner is. 

7. Too Young

Oh, I can't believe I gave in to the pressure When they said a love like this would never last

Being LGBT+ as a regular person is hard enough, but being a gay man in the homophobic music industry is near to impossible. Louis talks about the pressure and hardships he and his lover may have faced under their label and management, considering how restrictive, abusive and controlling Sony Music is, it isn’t far-fetched to think that Louis is referring to the pressure his relationship may be under because of contracts and agreements. The industry is homophobic, the artist is a product and the listeners are the consumers, and gay men in pop music aren’t exactly seen as marketable by the executives. A “love like this” is obviously referring to queer love, and being told that it’s phase that will pass, or that it won’t last because they won’t let it last.

8. Habit

I took some time 'cause I've ran out of energy Of playing someone I heard I'm supposed to be But honestly, I don't have to choose anymore

Louis talks about being tired of playing a character, hiding his true self and being someone he isn’t because thats what hes told to do. Again, this could be a reference to that “pressure” he felt in Too Young, and also an obvious reference to a closet. All of us who have been closeted before or are in the closet right now, know that our day to day public lives feel like playing a character, acting like the person society expects us to be. Straight men don’t experience this, they don’t have to play someone else because they are exactly what society expects of them already. Louis is tired of that, and doesn’t want to choose between that pressure of the hiding and being his true self. 

 9. Only the brave

It's a church of burnt romances And I'm too far gone to pray

Only the Brave is the last song on Louis’ debut album, and was quickly claimed by his LGBT+ fans as a second sister to home, another gay anthem. In the track by track, he says “Love is only for the brave”. Bravery and pride are two words commonly associated with the LGBT+ community, pride is an integral part of us and we are extremely brave for being ourselves and loving who we love in a society that tells us that we are wrong for doing so. Here, Louis again brings up religion and his relationship with it. This is a recurring theme in his songs. The “burnt romances” are obviously queer romances that the “church” or all religion has killed, by telling us we are wrong or evil for being who we are. Alot of gay people have a bad relationship with religion, mostly because we are so demonised by it. “Too far gone to pray” definitely refers to how gay people are told that if they pray or if they hadn’t strayed from religion they might be able to “cure” themselves. In this case he says that he can't do that anymore, because he KNOWS who he is and doesn't need religion to tell him. He’s too far gone to turn around and try to “fix” himself, instead he doesn't need that fixing at all. 

And they'll say, "I told you so Come on, when you know, you know"

Something most of us have heard when we come out of the closet, is people saying “they knew all along” and this is a reference to that. It can also be interpreted as knowing who we are when the time comes. Most of us have had our gay awakening at some point in life, when that moment comes, we realise who we were all along. Louis himself has been outed multiple times in his career, once even by The Wanted, he might be referring to how people will say that they had known all along when they find out the truth about him. 

Additional: 

10. Just Like You 

“Twenty-five and it's all planned”

Louis announced Just Like You as a song for the fans against his label’s wishes on 11th October 2017, also known as National Coming Out Day. His LGBT+ fans knew it was another outcry from him about his sexuality, reaching out to his community through his music. Here he talks about how his entire career has been planned, perhaps referring to Too Young and Habit, playing this character because he’s been forced into it, because that’s what's written down for him by the management and labels. His fans have always picked up on certain mannerisms and things he does and says that look forced, and are probably a result of controlled media training of his body language and words. 

Yeah, I feel the same as you would do Same stress, same shit to go through I'm just like you If you only knew

The “you” here is the LGBT+ community. Time and time again Louis has been alienated from his own people, and through his music he reaches out to us and tells us that he’s the same, he goes through the same troubles and hardships and faces the same societal pressure that we face when it comes to being who we are and loving who we love. 

I wanna lay where she lays

This is the one of the only pronouns Louis has ever used in his solo music but his fans quickly picked up on the real meaning behind it. “She” lays next to a man, and Louis might be referring to how gay men are told that men should not lie with men, and he says that if he had it his way, he could be lying where “she” is, as in next to the man, his lover. 

Louis also released a beautiful lyric video for Just Like You where he added newspaper articles about various topics ranging from Black Lives Matter, racial inequality, police brutality, feminism, sexual assault and the LGBT+. There are many easter eggs and hints to pick up on in the video including a clipping of a crossed out “What is your sex” column and using a separate clipping of the letter “S” over the word “He” to form “She”, a reference to gender neutral pronouns or the “He” that he wants to lay next to. 

 There are many themes that are recurring in Louis’ music, specifically religion, societal pressure, having to hide and be someone society expects him to be, being told that there’s something wrong that needs to be “cured”. All of these are a common part of the queer experience, something all of us have been through and shared with eachother. That’s why Louis’ music resonantes with gay fans, because the words he writes and sings tell a story that all of us have lived, and a straight man could’nt do that. LGBT+ artists queer code through many ways, clothing, mannerisms, art, Louis does it through songwriting. He may be in a tightly controlled, restrictive situation but he has a positive outlook on life, he is proud of who he is, he constantly reaches out to fans and his community through the only way he can, his songwriting. He’s given us many gay anthems  and has helped many fans, myself included, come to terms with our sexuality and accept ourselves because his music told us that it’s okay to do so. I’m grateful to Louis for giving me that acceptance and love that all of us seek through his beautiful songs. It’s time we stop invalidating Louis’ struggles and the amount of times he has reached out to his community and tried to show us his true self. 

Can’t wait for our next big gay anthem in LT2!

#louis tomlinson #girlie #this took me 2 hours #originally a thread on twt #thanks vale for telling me to post it on here lmfao #lgbt #louis tomlinson is lgbt #hes GAY #masterpost #louis tomlinson walls #POSTING FOR THE SECOND TIME

[hillbillyoracle]

Some Thoughts on Why White Pagans Need to Heal Their Relationships with Christianity

Note: I've been trying to write a piece like this for months and the only way I know how to write this is to be very vulnerable and personal. So just please keep that in mind as you read this. It isn't very refined and it's something I'm still very much in process with, to borrow a phrase from my charismatic Christian upbringing. It's more a diary entry than a finished piece and none of these thoughts are original or eloquent. My hope it's helpful to see someone thinking through these things though.

If you're white and you don't want to further colonization and imperialism in your spirituality, then going back to Christianity in some form is pretty necessary; to do the work of decolonizing it's doctrines and to prevent taking from traditions that aren't ours.

This is just the conclusion I've arrived at after a lot shadow working in and around both my ancestors and my religious trauma. My ancestors aren't all white Europeans. But given that I'm white and I don't have any way to carry on the traditions of those that weren't, I feel like the best way to honor those non-white ancestors is to go back to the spiritual traditions I do have access to and doing the work of reshaping them into something less harmful.

I have read and intellectually understood that culture forms the foundation of spirituality and that when you remove something from it's originating culture, that concept or tool no longer works properly, if at all. In working with my non-white ancestors, I really got it on a practical and emotional level. There was this sense that they'd love for me to know their traditions but that it required an understanding that just isn't possible for me given my upbringing and disconnection - "you don't know the words and there's no way to find a person who can teach you" as one ancestor put it. It was an important reminder that "this isn't for white people" isn't merely a categorical assertion but a cultural and practical one.

They've generally asked I stick to practices I have a cultural grounding in when honoring them, even though it is not theirs - the cultural and linguistic element is that important to them. They would rather an authentic expression of gratitude and care through a ritual that isn't theirs rather than an imitation of one that is or being left out of my practice all together. Which makes sense to me in a relational way I hadn't fully grasped before.

In working with my white ancestors, I've come to more viscerally understand that the present understanding of Christianity is wildly different than other historical understandings. One thing that surprised me was that some of my more recent ancestors have expressed more discomfort around my queerness and transness than many of my older ancestors but both root their understanding in the Bible. I enjoyed one ancestor who, when I explained that I'm partnered with a woman, to mean that I would have a life of service - "no men to distract you from God" - which I mean is not wrong on several levels. It really highlighted for me that Christian doctrine is far more flexible than I'd initially thought. It challenged ideas I'd picked up through traumatic religious experiences. So much of what I'd assumed was Christianity itself seems to be more Christianity right now.

The historical angle is really important me. One of the things that drove my interest in Paganism was trying to understand what came before Christianity, to connect with whatever had been cut off in that process. The more I've come to learn about imperialism within Europe - how various empires conquered and destroyed localized traditions indigenous to parts of Europe - it clicked for me that my white ancestors did to others what had been done to them. It is intergenerational trauma in a nutshell.

It's also striking to me that so many people term the traditions pagans pull from as "dead" religions or at the very least "not living". For years I took that to mean they were "safe" to take from, that I wouldn't hurt anyone by doing so. But I hadn't really understood the weight of what "dead" meant - that there was no one left alive who could teach me, that I can't live in a context where all of the beliefs, tools, and traditions make intuitive sense. And if it was important to my ancestors who had had a connection to their traditions, then what was I missing by reanimating these traditions without that link?

I don't have a full visceral understanding of what I'm missing to be honest. I have a feeling that'll develop as my practice evolves. But that question alone has marked a pretty important change in how I understand myself spiritually.

The living and cultural element to my practice is more important to me now. For me, just given the family, community, and area I was raised in, that means Christianity is the living tradition I have access to and I've been revisiting it. I was reading an interview the other day with someone who is both a Catholic theologian and a practicing Buddhist. I liked the way he put it when he referred to Catholicism as "one of his sources of wisdom". That better captures my relationship with Christianity that's been unfolding over the last few months.

Making sure that intergenerational spiritual trauma stops as much as possible with me is really important. I had mistakenly thought that meant abandoning Christianity all together, that it was the problem. Which in hindsight, is fucking wild - I hugely fucked up there. There's nothing stopping me from just enacting the harm I learned in the context of Christianity in a different context, a Pagan context. It doesn't get to the root of the issue. At the end of the day, I just want to be sure I do not use my religion, any religion, to further the harms of structural inequality and colonial oppression. That's the goal.

In reading around about this, I've come to feel pretty strongly that one of the best ways to work toward that is to strive toward animism. Animism has been a great antidote to the spiritual entitlement that colonial religions cultivate (including white paganism). Animism also builds a relational spirituality rather than a goal/individual centered one. White paganism isn't inherently animistic since white culture teaches values that undermine quality relationships - individualism, competitiveness, and seeking domination of some fashion in order to feel safe. An animistic lens requires you unlearn those values and cultivate new ones - mutuality, respect, and accountability.

So all this is to say that given my current understanding, I think trying to build a practice out of New Age concepts while trying to avoid appropriation sounds impossible and hellish. I also think it doesn't deal with the work that needs done. I'm choosing to take an animist lens to the living traditions I do have to see if that's a better space for both my spirituality and my evolving understand of decolonizing to grow in.

People will rightly question my use of the term "shadow work" given this perspective. Shadow work is a problematic term for a lot of different reasons that are beyond the scope of this piece.  Where I'm at with it right now is that most western religious traditions seem to have some understanding of what we might call shadow work which points to it being important and useful. However they all used different terms given their contexts so I'm still unsure of what term might be the most appropriate given where I'm at. So for right now, you might see me use it less in the title or body of work I write from here on out, but I still might use it as a tag to make it findable. There's a good shot this doesn't go far enough and I'm not sold on this approach. Just know it's something I'm trying to figure out.

So that's where I'm at right now. I think white pagans really need to be more serious about animism at minimum and hopefully also looking at the role living religious traditions play in their current practice as well. I think white pagans' unhealed reactivity around Christianity too often serves as a justification for spiritual appropriation and furthering colonial harm. Changes are definitely needed. What that looks like in practice for individuals will likely vary a ton. I'd love to hear from other folks doing work in this vein. What's worked for you so far? What hasn't? Where are you in the process?

#witchblr #witch #magic #pagan #paganism #A lot of this is inspired by working with the Hierophant more closely

[writingwithcolor]

Lycanthropy as a Queer Allegory with Japanese-Coded Character

@beefstatic submitted:

Hi there, first of all I have to say thank you so much for this blog, it has been so helpful in my writing journey. As for my questions: 

1. I’ve looked through this blog and have found a lot of helpful information wrt to werewolves and PoC, but I haven’t seen anything specific about Japanese/Japanese coded characters being werewolves, and am wondering if that’s something I, a white person, can or should delve into, or if there’s anything with that I should avoid if I do go down that route?

2. My character in question is Japanese coded and exists in a sort of older-feeling time period (think victorian era but with anachronistic aspects) and I’ve looked up Edo-period names and have come up with the name Morioka Gin. Is that a name that makes sense/has an older vibe to it? My resource said that Gin means silver and I liked the theme of that being used in a werewolf story but I’m flexible if that doesn’t make sense.

(As some background, my concept for the story (short story with horror aspects) came up before I decided to get into characters/races; essentially I’m wanting to use werewolves first and foremost as a sort of metaphor for trans-ness/gender stuff, but I’m sure having a Japanese coded main character could play into how readers perceive what I’m writing and I want to treat that with care. It’s still in the brainstorming phase so I am flexible with having the main character not be a werewolf and have it be more of her experiencing a friend/companion going through werewolf stuff second hand. But, the original concept is the main character becoming a werewolf at the end and it being a metaphor for a sort of liberation from the strict environment she grew up in (the story takes place in a sort of abbey of werewolf hunters/religious members– the religious order is mostly white but this could also change). The werewolves in this story are supposed to start out as being scary to the main character, but end up being relatable/sympathetic good characters. Hope the background helps!)

Why Japan?

The first name feels wrong for the Edo period. It has more of a “I saw this in an anime” feel to it, rather than I “I went and looked up some names of people from the Edo-era” feel. Gin skews male and is definitely more modern. I’m curious what Edo-era naming resources you found.

This doesn’t sound like a story that benefits from Japanese coding. I don’t understand what an abbey dominated by white members would be doing in a late Edo-era coded setting (Christianity was banned until the Meiji Restoration), and religiously motivated hunters who target supernatural creatures is very much a cultural Christian trope. If this is a Victorian-era coded setting, it’s similarly not clear to me how a Japanese coded person arrived in that setting. Finally, as you don’t mention the kind of anachronisms you intend to permit, I can’t offer any advice there either.

- Marika.

The connection between werewolves and silver is a Western concept of German origin. It’s not really a meaningful connection if you truly want to tell a Japanese werewolf/shapeshifter story. As Marika said, the Christian plot points and imagery could very well be more appropriately applied to a European setting.

~Mod Rina

Cultural Lens for Gender Liberation

Using werewolves as an allegory for queerness has already been very poisoned by a certain book series we’re not going to name. This is only something I’d be comfortable with if it’s OwnVoices, and even then, the main problem I see with this circles back to the idea of whether this works as a Japanese story. Your character essentially “comes out” at the end of the story by turning into a werewolf. In a culturally Christian story, this makes sense. In other societies—including those with Buddhist philosophies like Japan—it doesn't quite fit as well, because individualism isn’t an emphasized value, and coming out isn’t really about independence or embracing rejection from the family/community. Fellow mod Marika will explain a bit more in detail of how it really works in Japanese society.

All in all, I’d recommend changing your setting, because all signs point to some European setting as a much more culturally compatible story.  

~Mod Rina

I agree with Rina on gender liberation in the Japanese context. I think the main difference for many people in Japanese culture is that “coming out” is a move of last resort. Expressing oneself for the sheer sake of expressing oneself is not common. Certainly, as social mores have relaxed, more people are coming out publicly, particularly on social media, However, there is an expression in Japanese:『出る釘は打たれる』(The nail that sticks up gets hammered down) that encapsulates the collectivist “go with the flow” mindset many people share about personal expression and a reluctance to disrupt the communal peace. 

Japanese society is starting to debate the benefits of embracing overt displays of diversity for race, gender and sexuality, but these are intra-cultural issues. A fair number of individuals in my family, myself included, don’t identify as cis or straight, however, we prefer to camouflage, while being ourselves around those who are close to us. Legal protections for marriage, family, worker’s rights, physical autonomy, etc., are obviously necessary, but on a social level, I don’t need my “true self” to be witnessed or acknowledged by the public to feel accepted. To that effect, this strikes me as a strange narrative for a Japanese coded trans character. See the first section of this article from Tofugu about historical perspectives on Japanese sexuality and gender that show why it’s important to use a non-Western lens when approaching this topic.

- Marika.

#lycanthropy #Japan #queer allegory #trans character #gender #sexuality #diversity #werewolves #Japanese #lgbtqia #asks

[rottingmanifesto]

Headcanons because I’m Bored as Hell

So it’s Fall Break part 2 electric boogaloo and my anxiety is through the roof. Take these headcanons because why not. Tagging @buggeezzsideburn2 because I have a feeling she’d like most of these.

Vito Scaletta (Mafia 2 and a bit of 3)

He’s not as bad as a cook as everyone thinks— he’s actually pretty good, he’s just lazy when it comes to making food for himself.

His eyes are dark blue, NOT brown. M3 can fight me on this

Once upon a time, he knew pieces of Spanish, but that didn’t last long. (Note that there is similarities between all Romance languages and Vito would know a few phrases in Spanish, French, etc. due to cognates. I’m not a linguist though so I can’t really explain any further.)

As a kid, he drew horses and dogs a lot and even made some money off of them. During the war, he’d doodle dogs on his letters home. Not like he’d show anyone his drawings though.

Prefers American music to Italian usually, but he has a soft spot for the music he listened to as a kid

He’s always looked older than he is. This was great when he’d buy beer without getting carded as a teen, but not so much when he entered his 40s. Sorry, Vito, you did NOT age well.

Dated numerous girls, but always knew that he was gay but refused to acknowledge it. He would be in his 50s (so in the 1970s) before he even attempted to verbalize his romantic feelings.

Lincoln and Nicki’s friendship (Mafia 3)

This part is canon: Nicki was the “cool” friend, Lincoln was the “dork” (well, according to Nicki).

When Nicki got married to her wife, Lincoln was the best man and a stand-in for Burke, who refused to show up to his own daughter’s wedding.

Nicki was the designated driver most of the time on their escapades because she didn’t trust Lincoln with any amount of large machinery. That, and he’s only a good driver when he wants to be

Lincoln many years after the events of the game came out properly to Nicki, who in turn sent him a letter saying “I called it, us queers can sniff each other out”.

Lincoln Takes Over Route: during the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s, he publicly donated to numerous LGBTQ+ safe havens and did his best to make New Boudreaux a safe place for the community, for Nicki’s sake.

When they were young, Nicki and Lincoln wanted to go to Alaska together one day and watch the Northern Lights.

Lincoln offered to help Nicki get out of NB once he left for California, but she denied it because she wanted to do it herself. That being said, he still sent her money periodically to help out. They were both too stubborn, so it went on for years.

Nicki Burke (Mafia 3)

Loves animals, but specifically birds. Why? No one really knows, she just does.

As a kid, she had a lot of freckles on her face, but they faded with time. Danny used to play connect-the-dots with her freckles at night to the point where Nicki would stay up with a water gun to catch him.

Older than Danny by 2 years

Her second girlfriend briefly dated Lincoln once, and Nicki told her all about how he was as a kid. Lincoln was a bit annoyed, but he got his revenge later.

She’s a terrible cook. She can do grilled cheese sandwiches and that’s it. She would make food when Burke was passed out and she and Danny were kids, but Danny rarely ate it because almost everything she made was burnt. As a result, Nicki and Danny would sneak over to the Hollow and ask Perla (Sammy’s wife) for food.

When Nicki turned 7, Burke gave her an entire bottle of whiskey. And, being 7, she drank it. After that point, she rarely drank whiskey.

Danny Burke (Mafia 3)

He’s a tit man. (I mean, y’all remember that Mardi Gras scene, that’s canon)

Danny knows a tiny bit of Irish Gaelic and sometimes curses when he misplaces something or someone startles him. Lincoln and Ellis would purposely startle him just to make him say random shit.

Hard of hearing in his right ear due to years of working around loud machinery without proper equipment

He was everyone’s wingman— he got Lincoln his first girlfriend, introduced Nicki to Darlene, and tried many times to hook Giorgi up with this girl named Yvonne. Never worked, by the way, but it was worth a shot.

Had his first kiss when he was 8 (unintentionally but he was so proud of himself)

Hates cleaning. He used to be able to sucker Ellis into helping him, but Ellis eventually began to sabotage everything so Danny would leave him be.

Danny and Ellis were insanely close, similar to Giorgi and Lincoln (before you-know-what). Both were younger brothers, expected to run their dad’s businesses, and felt inferior to their older siblings. Whenever Danny went over to Perla’s as a kid to get food, he always asked to see Ellis.

He accidentally killed a guy once when he was 17, and had Lincoln help him hide the body but felt so guilty he eventually told the victim’s parents “sorry” (he wanted to turn himself in, but Lincoln forced him to stay under the radar).

Ellis Robinson (Mafia 3)

He had a huge crush on Nicki in his teen years. Danny tried to dissuade him, but it didn’t work, and Nicki turned him down pretty harshly after years of being pestered. Thankfully though, Ellis bounced back after a few months and apologized to Nicki for being annoying.

An absolute party animal. He’d drag Lincoln into parties as well, but he rarely joined in.

He skipped classes in high school more often than not, but when he did go, he was pretty good at history and got on the history bowl team (but sadly lost). Just don’t ask him to do any English homework for you, it will look like a second grader’s response.

He loved Christmas but only for the parties and food— he was never that religious.

Ellis learned how to hotwire a car when he was 14 (Burke taught him) and stole a car for Lincoln. But he got caught and Sammy got mad at him, though Perla found it hilarious and sweet and got Sammy to lay off the punishment (beyond leaving him in county jail for the weekend).

Tell me if I should do more!

#mafia 3 #mafia iii #mafia ii #mafia 2 #vito scaletta #nicki burke #danny burke #ellis robinson #headcanons