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madelynhimegami · 8 months

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About twenty years ago (probably closer to nineteen), I finished my playthrough of Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life.

This morning, I finished my (first?) playthrough of the A Wonderful Life remake.

Well before I finished, I decided I wanted to make a post talking about it, giving my general thoughts on it. And I'll probably just end up rambling. Who knows if it's at all interesting to people but. Here goes.

Being able to save and load anywhere at any time is such a game changer. Holy moly. Even though I didn't really have to do a whole lot of reloading (except where fishing requests were concerned). But it still felt very good to have.

On a related note, the remake is so transparent about its mechanics, it's amazing. I know that AnWL already had some tranparency added to it (especially wrt your kid), but just. Having as much info as the remake gives you, at all times, is nuts. Makes things so much easier to finagle around.

Likewise, thank god for automatically recording cooking recipes. It was already practically impossible to remember how to make anything in the GCN games. The fact that the Harvest Sprites gave you a new recipe every day also helped. As did telling you when your cooking skill levelled up, because the GCN games didn't tell you anything.

Characters actually sound distinct now! The thing about mediocre localizations is that you don't know what you're missing out on until you get a good localization. And wow, the amount of personality shown by having characters speak differently adds a shocking amount.

Even with all of the QOL updates... the main thing that makes me never wanna touch the GCN games again is that they're a lot less bugged. I once again blame the old localization.

(you think there's weird stuff going on in the remake. you have no idea.)

That being said, aside from being able to select your pronouns at the start of the game, the cast (including yourself) don't really do much of anything to gender you. AnWL gave me so much gender euphoria before I even knew what it was. (Not to mention the FoMT remake set the bar for being gay in a way that AWL is set up couldn't really replicate). So... who knows. Maybe I'll end up replaying it someday anyway.

Granted, I say that, but as I was typing that sentence I thought about how the event for giving your toddler a bath was broken so that you could not give him one. Instead of a Yes/No prompt the game just said "Several days later..." and then continued like you had said no. Maddening.

Nuts to it, someone just give me an annotated textdump.

After so much hemming and hawing about who to marry in the remake, I ended up just marrying Nami again. One part autistic lesb solidarity, one part her kid being so goshdang powerful. Either way, I joked about how nothing about me had changed in twenty years.

Once I got to chapter two, I started screencapping like crazy. Got almost 400 of them on my switch now. I just wanted to note everything I could about what my darling baby girl was doing throughout her life. Also my wife.

In my original playthrough, even though I tried to influence my son into either art or academics, he ended up becoming a farmer. But then again, I also didn't understand how to influence him optimally. Which sounds awful out of context. Oh well, at least his life was mostly organic.

I managed to get my daughter into academics before chapter two ended. Probably the most interesting thing that happened was how her dialogue changed. She started reciting her ABC's to herself, and mumbled about books, and said that gemstones were like puzzle peices. It was darling.

Since I've only played the entire game with Nami's child, though, I do wanna replay the game just so that I can see what a different kid is like.

Problem is, it just brings back the marriage problem. And the child career problem, because even if I marry Muffy, like hell will I raise an athlete (but I don't want scholar again... but also if they're an artist they run away from home after the game ends, which is kinda messed up).

A lot of people in the village make comments about how air conditioning isn't good for people's health. They did that in the original game too, if memory serves, but it's still weird. Is this a thing in Japan, or was the person that wrote those parts of the dialogue have a vendetta of some kind?

This is another thing that I know got changed in AnWL, but I'm still so glad that chapters are only one in-game year long. There's a special kind of pain to get to the end of the year, only to learn there's more you need to play before you see your kid get older.

Despite that, I still got a whole lot done, to the point that I spent most of the last two years just idling because I had nothing else to do. Same way I got to the endgame of the original, come to think of it.

I never bought the teddybear. I wasn't gonna do it when my daughter was a teen by the time I had the money. I'm not that dumb. Doesn't do anything but be spoopy anyhow.

I seem to remember the seed maker being instant in the GCN game. If it was, it got seriously debuffed in the remake-- you can only put up to twelve crops in at a time, and it takes 20 in-game hours for the seeds to be produced. Obviously meant to balance how absurdly high tree seeds could be sold for, but the prices were already slashed to pieces, so it was just overkill and made it hard to keep up with what crops I did or didn't have seeds for.

I genuinely hope I never have to make nine of each rare crop again. I mean, technically I never had to anyway, but I did and it was so much pain.

Cows are absurdly expensive in the remake. I guess it's to balance the fact that there's no limit on how long cows can be milked, but

here's the dirty secret

If you have a cow and a bull, they'll mate on their own without you needing to order for it. My cows in the GCN games were constantly getting pregnant. Anyone who complains about cows going dry was doing it wrong.

Sheep are significantly more affordable, though. So I ended up getting mostly those instead.

That being said, a star/brown/marble cow giving S Milk (and the latter two getting their milk processed into butter and cheese respectively) does give you more profit than golden wool does... until you get the Blessed Clippers and you start getting two bundles of wool per sheep (which is insane). But wowie are they expensive...

My new personal hell is having a dozen sheep following me around to scream at me. Did they do that in the original(s)? I never bothered with them....

I'm still sad Flora's not a marriage candidate.

As I mentioned, I was basically without anything to do by the end of the game. Which makes the infinite postgame chapter's existence kinda funny? I don't know what else I'd want to do with that, since as far as I've been able to tell nobody has new dialogue.

No really. I can't even 100% the game anymore because Van stops selling goats, I have over 5 million G, I've grown each one of every plant, caught every fish, dug up all the digsite items, and have all in-game achievements. What would I wanna keep playing for?

Also, why isn't Nina in said postgame chapter? If it's the afterlife anyway, then she should be there too, dangit!

I still don't understand why the dog is trainable.

The player's child is so adorable. I love my daughter so much, she's such a sweetheart.

Wish her self-esteem wasn't so low from chapter 3 onwards, though... another reason to see the game married to somebody else.

I am so grateful there's no friendship decay for the villagers.

What a great game.

And now, some of me rambling about my history with the series:

I don't know what drew me to the original AWL game. All I knew is that there was coverage of it in an issue of Nintendo Power, and I just kept reading and re-reading it. I had a couple friends that swore by the HM games (in particular, 64 and StHL), but beyond that I guess something about it intrigued me to the point that it became a game I really wanted. Had a plan of how I would run the farm and who I'd marry. And counted the days before I finally got it (must've been a birthday or Christmas present).

And I played through it, beginning to end. Despite my brother scorning it. Despite one of the friends that swore by HM64 thinking it was such a watered down derivative it made him laugh several times even as he tried playing it himself.

I also got the girl version when it came out. Don't remember how I afforded it, but I remember that I was too embarrassed by wanting it to let anyone know I did get it but myself. Never managed to finish it, but boy howdy did it have a lot of gender euphoria. I got to be a mom.

...I tried other HM games since. I got Magical Melody (which I recall using Action Replay to turn my player character into a girl that make perfect sense to me now but I don't know what I had been thinking at the time), but dropped it shortly after my wife started expecting.

I got both versions of HMDS (mermaid wife yes please), but only stuck with them for about two or three in-game years each.

I got Isle of Happiness, but honestly the fact that every item had decay to it stressed me to the point I couldn't play without Action Replay codes to keep everything top quality and freshness forever-- and even then the crap you gotta juggle is crazy. Played long enough to marry the Witch though, so that ruled.

I got Hero of Leaf Valley, and that one I actually stuck through to the end (including forgetting how many zeros were in fifty thousand and ended up raising up half a million G before the second year's end), but got too paralyzed with indecision on who to marry (it was mainly between Gwen and Aurelia, since I read that Alice couldn't be raised to red heart after the credits. Game seemed to have thought I had my sights set on Lyla, though).

I tried Rune Factory 4... but something about it just didn't vibe with me so I bounced early.

Every now and then, I thought about going back to A(n)WL, or maybe trying a different one. Never did, though. And Stardew or other inspired's didn't ever really grab me.

And yet I inhaled the chance to play the AWL remake when the time came. And now I've finished it. Go figure. I'm still not sure what it is about that game specifically that calls to me.

I think the amount of interactability with your kid is a big factor, though.

#story of seasons #story of seasons: a wonderful life #A Wonderful Life #harvest moon: a wonderful life #SOS AWL #HM AWL

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thegeminisage · 1 year

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Hmm. 20-22 inclusive …. making you be negative 😈 I’m assuming you’ll do zelda but as a scholar I’m also interested in your spn thoughts so you pick mwah

oooh dealer's choice this is so tough...what if i just answer for both LMAO im so sorry ok Lets Go

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

for zelda: i really, really wish i liked wind waker. i wanna like wind waker so fucking bad. i love wind waker's story. i love wind waker's ganondorf. i love how bright and cheerful the graphics are contrasted with how solemn it is underground. i love the dungeons and the gameplay. but god i HATE the cartoony little balloon heads. it takes me right out of those serious moments. i don't mind stylization but if it could have been just a LITTLE BIT. less stylized. just a LITTLE LESS like animal crossing characters. it's beautiful to look at but for a game with such serious hidden elements WHICH I LOVE i find trouble taking it seriously.

for spn: god, all of crowley's little arcs. he was almost never interesting, and while you can excuse bad writing for cas because it's cas, you can't make crowley happen. fetch is never gonna happen! you can show me his fun hot mom and his dead son and it still isn't happening! he's just the walking talking embodiment of the "angels and demons are just like OFFICE WORKERS" trope which i hate so fucking deeply because it's the least sexy direction they ever took and the exact opposite of what i want from my angels and demons. all of the middle seasons suffered deeply from this. crowley COULD have been interesting, but tbh, i liked him best in the season they killed him off.

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

for zelda: i could do wind waker again but actually i completely understand the hype, bc wind waker is a great game even if i can't deal with it like a normal person. same with botw - i found most of the joy thru exploration, so it just didnt Hit on replays the way other zeldas do, but its influence cannot be understated and the hype is deserved. what if everybody is right all the time to hype any and everything about zelda?? oh wait actually. sorry. twilight princess ilia. idk if people hype her but if they do theyre wrong. love and light to her, she's Fine, but it feels kind of like a knockoff of malon (superior) and i generally dislike when link has romantic interests besides zelda, even if the love interest gets amnesia (wistful sigh). this sin was especially egregious bc zelda barely has any screentime at all, but i forgive tp for this because what screentime she DOES have is spent being in lesbians with midna. so it works out just this once due to the power of gay people, but that's some thin fucking ice. anyway, sorry to ilia and ilia fans for being a misogynist

for spn: i hate canon claire. i can't get into it in depth but like...sorry, even without the issue of My Own Claire Ideas, i still don't know if i could do it. being gay does not save her from having the exact same "damaged but spunky teen girl" personality given to almost EVERY OTHER TEENAGE GIRL (or young woman) on the show. to some extent she, krissy, mary from the winchesters, charlie, jo, alex, etc etc all have the same personality with a few defining quirks tacked on as an afterthought. do i love some of these characters? yes, of course. are they well-written? absolutely not <3

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

for zelda: in general, i think skyward sword gets a bad rap despite lanayru desert's entire (waves hand vaguely) and zelda being a fucked up evil goddess who canonically manipulates link's love for her. AND GROOSE. never forget groose. more specifically i think not enough people have acknowledged 1. the champions corpses are definitely still in those cockpits 2. oot link essentially became a stalfos by walking into the lost woods without navi and never came back. hello?? generally those dark little implications that u have read between the lines to get <3

for spn: oh baby its michael!dean. i waited so long and i only really got what i wanted for one episode but it was so good. it was SO good. no one else is as hype about the fact that it took nine REAL LIFE YEARS to get there. a DECADE of my finite time on earth. but ohhh was it ever worth the wait. what else could i possibly write 100k+ about

[ASK MEME]

#liz answers asks #paty-ofarrell #ASK MEMES #liz watches spn #loz blogging #sorry this took forever i did literally have to do both.#thank you SO MUCH for asking

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teaveetamer · 2 years

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Ok more Triangle Strategy stuff. Again, I’ve only completed one ending (the Benedict one).

1) Holy shit Cordelia and Avlora are gay. I don’t wanna be like “female Dimidue” since obviously they’ve got none of the history and not even a quarter of the homoerotic bonding, but... lesbian lord/knight dynamic. Nice.

2) Benedict’s route revealing that he did this whole thing just because he wanted to fuck Serenoa’s mom is... weird. At least I assume he wanted to fuck Serenoa’s mom unless they pull a surprise! they were siblings! thing again.

The reveal that he just like. fuckin’ hates Symon and Regna for apparently treating a woman we never see and who died decades ago like a pawn doesn’t... doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Like up until the very, very end I was dead curious to see how/why Benedict would end up leaving the party since his one thing the entire game is being unfalteringly loyal to Wolffort no matter what. I can absolutely see why rolling with Fredrica in the final decision would earn his ire, since what she proposes basically abandons Wolffort territory entirely, and spits in the face of what Symon wanted and all the work he’s done to keep shit together throughout the game. (I assume the endings are Fredrica/Roland, Roland/Benedict, and Benedict/Fredrica, at least, right?). I mean Benedict is singlehandedly keeping this entire operation afloat throughout the entire plot since no one else has any idea what they’re doing. Likewise, I can see why he would want to side with Aesfrost over Hyzante as a matter of practicality. Hyzante, with a monopoly on salt, could be a real danger to the people of Wolffort and Serenoa especially, since they’ve already decided once to enslave an entire group of people to hide the presence of salt elsewhere. But also why he would probably stick with Serenoa if he picked Hyzante, since submitting now does not necessarily have to mean submitting forever, and if they live to fight another day they can deal with the fallout then. Basically, he really didn’t need the extra justification of really hating Symon/Regna and wanting to fuck Serenoa’s mom to drive him into wanting to side with Aesfrost.

3) I still can’t get over how dumb the “Serenoa and Roland are siblings” thing is. I mean, I genuinely cannot remember any instance of that being foreshadowed at all. Maybe I’ll see it upon replaying but IIRC no one is like “gee sure is weird that Symon got married so fast and had a kid like right away” and there’s even an NPC that tells Serenoa the story of how happy and proud Symon was at Serenoa’s birth. And like NPCs constantly talk about how much Symon loves Serenoa and how proud Symon was/is/would be of Serenoa if he could see him now, so Benedict being all “they treated you and your mother like a pawn!” just seems like... really untrue.

4) Ok ok I said I was going to be more positive. I do really like the battle system, and I like how forgiving it is. I messed up the last fight of the Benedict route (bad TP management) and got Erador killed (who is basically necessary for this map) via mages, and I did not realize the game not only lets you restart from the beginning, it even lets you keep the EXP you earned so you can try again, still progress and get stronger, and not have to waste time grinding on Tavern maps.

5) THANK FUCKING GOD FOR THE AUTOSAVES. My game crashed on that one level near the end, the one with the minecarts where the Aesfrosti soldiers are trying to blow the place up? Like not even shitting you, four enemies from the end of that map the game crashed and I was in near tears thinking I was going to have to restart all over from the beginning (and that map is fucking annoying), but turns out it makes quicksave data constantly so I just had to redo like a few movements.

6) I’m guessing I didn’t get all the notes with extra worldbuilding info, but I actually do quite like what they did with them. They were informative without really feeling unnecessary. Admittedly, even though I did call salt being in the mine from chapter 1, I was kind of back and forth on committing to the guess until I read some of those notes that really hammered home just how scarce and how important salt actually is on this continent.

7) The entire plot of this game would crumble if these guys were like five feet closer to an ocean lmao.

8) Ezana can fucking step on me.

9) Next playthrough is going to be really weird, considering I made like no major utility decisions my entire playthrough but wound up being very utility aligned anyways. Assuming the colors on the voting screen actually align to the proper convictions though, I guess that won’t make me going for a lot of utility decisions next playthrough a problem? Since Benedict’s route is presented as red (liberty?) and Roland, who I plan to do next, is presented as the Utility option.

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qmortentia · 4 years

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hi drarry au where draco is trans (ftm) because for some reason i'm obsessed with this headcanon

when first arriving to hogwarts he INSTANTLY freaks out when he hears that potter is starting the same year as him but yet draco is nervous because potter is literally his IDOL and draco doesn't want potter to realise that draco looks hugely different compared to all the other boys, because it would absolutely tear him to pieces.

but when he declares for potters hand in friendship, draco's heart drops as he sees potter look him up and down with a glare of pure disgust shown on his handsome face.

and for a moment draco thinks he could easily get over potter not liking him, or atleast not liking the fact that he was transgender. but draco knew that this scenario would haunt him for the rest of his life when potter smirks and states "i think i can tell the wrong sort for myself thanks."

there was no doubt about it, the certain memory had indeed followed him around everywhere. it was replayed in his troubled mind way too many times to count. draco couldn't stop thinking about it. he was the wrong sort.

throughout the years he found himself staring at potter harry more and more each day, hoping that no one would accuse him of being a freak if they caught him staring at harrys chest whenever he saw him; his really flat chest- which put dracos binding methods to complete shame.

there were rumours of course, but not so many as he continued his school years.

and then there was 8th year. 8th year that draco wasn't even planning on going to, 8th year that the thought of it hadn't even crossed his mind until he bumped into harry in the streets a couple days after his top surgery.

"you have to go," harry said with a longing look in his eyes that draco couldn't quite put his finger on. "you probably think i'm mental right now, but believe me when i say this malfoy. it'll be good for you, i know it will. you will enjoy it, i promise. just please, atleast think about it."

to say draco was shocked was much more than an understatement, draco felt like he was living a dream. not that he has ever dreamt of harry, merlin no! how absurd he would never.

so draco goes to 8th year, and as weird as it is to even admit to himself, draco gets a peaceful feeling from the place. a new start.

he was enjoying his first day until he found out that he would be sharing a dorm with harry. so he overthinks it for the rest of the day. draco starts to overthink things about what could possibly happen. what if harry sees his top surgery scars and questions him about it? what if harry is actually transphobic? what if harry just generally still can't stand him?

turns out, when draco walked into their dorm that night, harry surprisingly seemed happy that draco was here.

"you came, you really came." harry exclaimed joyfully with a massive grin on his face; it was almost as if harry was shocked someone listened to him for once. "i'm so glad you're here, malfoy."

"call me draco." draco finds himself saying, and that was where it all started. that was where the beginning of a friendship started.

months later, despite being caught up with constant library "studying" and quidditch matches with harry, draco found out a lot about the other 8th years. they specifically liked to do party games in the shared 8th year common room, or spin the bottle. nothing got draco more nervous than the mention of the spin the bottle game. just the thought of getting kissed by harry, even if it was only a small peck, made him feel so hopeful. but he was scared, draco never really joined in on spin the bottle because he felt like no one would really want to get themselves involved with him.

until now, when he's getting dragged into the circle of people by pansy, blaise, daphne and millicent. of fucking course, they had to try and include him in everything, didn't they?

the look on harry's face caused a shiver down his spine and it made draco instantly break eye contact. when draco looked back over with his teeth biting his lips anxiously, harry's gaze is focused on the floor.

"right then," pansy smirks like she's plotting something while grabbing the bottle from behind her, ready to spin. "whoever it lands on, has to spin again to see who they have to kiss."

once spinned, the bottle ended up pointing itself at draco and he groans in annoyance instantly. just my fucking luck-

he shyly touches the bottle with his pale hand, and hesitantly spins it. he hopes that it lands on harry, but at the same time- he hopes that it doesn't- because draco wouldn't know how he would handle it if harry chose not to acknowledge the kiss.

it lands on harry.

the bottle fucking lands on harry.

"fuck.." draco mutters quietly and daphne beside him lets out a giggle. she leans close to him and whispers in his ear the words that draco would never of thought that he would hear from her, "he likes you back, you know. i wouldn't worry about it."

before draco knows it, harry is right in front of him, with his one finger under draco's chin, forcing eye contact and draco (the poor boy) feels like he's going to faint right on the spot.

harry's eyes are searching his, and draco seriously can't take it anymore. he forgets about what the consequences might be, he forgets about who they both are, he forgets about what might happen after, he forgets about it all; because draco leans up and connects his lips with harry's and he can't believe that this is actually happening.

it might just be a spin the bottle game, but in draco's heart and mind it isn't, it's much more and draco knows that he will never be able to move on from this when he feels the light touch of harry's tongue slide against his own.

and it was over, just like that. harry pulled away and quickly went back to his original place before grabbing the bottle and spinning it. draco decides that he can't watch harry kiss someone else, so he tries to find something interesting on the wall to think about. the only interesting thing he could find was where someone had drawn a small cock on the side of the wall and it causes draco to roll his eyes.

draco doesn't really pay attention for the rest of the game, unless the bottle landed on him of course. which it did, but it turned out only to be pansy. who draco was perfectly fine kissing considering the fact that they had kissed before, they were best friends, and they were both very very gay.

bored and simply just nervous because he kept making glances at harry which influenced eye contact, draco excuses himself from the circle of people and creates the lie of "i'm really tired." draco tries to not look at harry when he says it.

he slowly scrolls back to his dorm and stays on his bed for a while, lying on his back and looking up at the ceiling. draco knows that he shouldn't even attempt to get his own hopes up; but he can't help it, he can't help thinking about what would happen if the spin the bottle game wasn't the reason why harry kissed him, he can't help thinking about what would happen if harry kissed draco because he loves him.

a tear rolls down draco's cheek and he doesn't even care. he just wants harry, he wants him so desperately it hurts, and it stings even more knowing that draco might not be able to have him.

and then the door opens and draco wants to shout at myself for letting anyone see him like this, especially if it's harry.

"draco.." harry whispers while stroking the crying boy's tears away with his thumb, finding it adorable when the blonde learns into his touch, "what's wrong? you can talk to me." harry instantly regrets his choice of words when he witnesses draco falling apart.

new tears are placing themselves on the pale skin but harry still thinks draco looks beautiful, even though he's literally crying his eyes out.

draco hiccups, "harry.."

"we don't have to talk if you don't want t-"

"i like you, harry. i really like you. romantically."

"oh." harry pauses, not really knowing what to say.

"it hurts knowing that i can't have you." draco whimpers. "why don't you like me that way, harry? i can handle the answer, i swear, just tell me. is it because i used to be a dickhead to you? is it because i used to be a dickhead to your friends? is it because i'm a slytherin? is it because i'm not really that good at quidditch? is it because i'm not a real b-"

"draco malfoy don't you dare finish that sentence."

draco blinks.

"you are a real boy draco, and i will not let you think otherwise. it doesn't matter who you were born as or who you used to be, it matters about who you are now; and you're a boy. a pretty boy. also, what the hell? are you nuts? of course i like you! i'm head over heels for you!"

smiling, draco kisses harry and threads his fingers through his messy black hair.

"honestly draco, you could have nothing down there i really wouldn't care. like a ken doll."

"like a what now?"

the end ;p

[ idea inspired by @pauleonotis fic :))) ]

EDIT: i recently uploaded a trans draco fic,, if you wanna read then its here.

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rawrroarart · 4 years

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Diakko!Odyssey AU

Most recent update: 8/28/2020 I added the comic of them meeting and also wrote a little snippet under the Diakko section

Welcome all. This post will officially be my master post of the Odyssey AU which will be updated as time moves forward so that I can link all of my related art to it. Yes I will not be posting multiple separate Updates in text posts how it’s traditionally done, but instead there will be information with each art and then a link back to this post. This is to avoid clutter since I hardly post on this blog anyway so it wouldn’t be fun having to scroll through all of my “OH ALSO THIS HAPPENS!” to get to art. Also I keep changing my mind on a lot of things in the AU so disregard information under the arts anyway as I will be posting here what is actually relevant.

Another key thing: I will be avoiding spoilers as much as possible until they are either shown in art or stated explicitly like I do in posts because I am the absolute worst at surprises. But anyway fear not for spoilers. Things said here are things that should be hinted at/known already. (and also I hardly know anything but maybe I will in due time)

Without further ado..

Introduction

What is the Odyssey AU?

The odyssey au is an alternative universe combining both Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and Little Witch Academia into this (very random) adventuring story that takes place in ancient Greece. I guess I can’t say that it’s random since one of my favorite things about both ACO and LWA is the ties/references to mythology with the former obviously more rooted in the mythology and the latter just fun easter egg references.

The general premise is that Diana is a misthios(mercenary) who travels with Akko, a shapeshifter, across Greece to find the answers pertaining to her origin.

The first art post: Diana and Akkoros

While living her life as a misthios, Diana searches for the answers pertaining to her origin and superhuman (described as “magical”) abilities along with Shapeshifter Atsuko, who commonly uses her powers for flight, but is not shy to switch to animals more suited for combat.

But I don’t know what Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey is?

That’s fair and understandable. Honestly my AU diverges a lot from the game so I don’t think knowledge of ACO is exactly necessary it’s just fun to understand the connections if you know them. Basically the key things you need to know from ACO as of now is:

Kassandra (the protag) is known as the Eagle Bearer because she has an eagle that is known as the “eagle of Zeus” throughout the game. And they adventure together and Ikaros (the eagle) can hunt n kill things and See things and tbh he’s rly just a cool eagle but not a shapeshifter or anything lol

Kassandra is a Mercenary (misthios) which is basically a for Hire fighter/person who will p much do anything for money (if they want to do it)

Kassandra is usually referred to a demi-god because of her powerful fighting abilities in which I mean yea she literally has powers and can blast people like a billion miles away (im jk but-)

Kassandra can tame animals (which ones depending on your skill level). You can tame uhh wolves, lynx, leopards, lions, bears. This is where my ‘shapeshifter’ idea began and it pretty much fit perfectly since Akko’s favorite spell is the shapeshifting one.

Other than this, the most important things to know for this AU is just,, general mythology,, I guess? Or history? General history of mythology and how people worshipped/acted in accordance to the gods. And I’m not saying im going to be historically accurate obviously, nor even mythologically accurate (if that’s even a thing lol), I’m just here to have a good time and enjoy my gay mercenaries while talking about gods/goddesses as if I even know (thankfully I have my gf who is way more interested in mythology than me to help me)

I’ve only played like half of the Atlantis DLC after beating the game so whoopsie. I honestly really wanna replay everything now that I have this AU just so I can focus more on details and what I can yoink.

Characters

Diana

Art:

Diana’s sketch-dump though she really needs a new one.

Diana in wheat field

Diana is the main protagonist of the story, but they pretty much both share the spotlight anyway. Her goal is to find out why she has certain powers (which I have officially decided, finally...) that aren’t exactly human. Since being a misthios was an easy way for her to travel and make drachmae, she chooses to do it while on their journey. Dammit I came up with her lore but as per the rules of this masterpost I can’t write about it until it’s out smh.. Ah I forgot that I already spilled that she is a goddess/demi-goddess (haven’t decided which yet) so yea that’s the Tea.

Described as very beautiful, there are rumors of her that state she is a pathway to Elysium (despite many people not deserving to go to Elysium). She is also known for her stoic face and a red bird that follows her around.

Diana is only found smiling with Akko and keeps buying Akko clothes despite her outer grievances each time Akko destroys something.

Diana was there with her mother at Chariot’s speech/performance.

Diana is skilled with any weapon.

Akko

Art:

Akko sketch-dump

Akko is a shapeshifter who travels with Diana across Greece in search for her idolized Chariot. Trusting both Diana’s skills and powers, Akko decides that Diana is the best choice to help achieve her goal as they adventure together.

Orphaned at a young age, Akko is, at first, very unfamiliar with how exactly to use her powers because there was no one around to teach her. She uses a bird most often because it is her first and most skilled transformation, but eventually learns to use stronger animals over time. Also eagle-vision is much more useful to Diana when they’re scoping the grounds anyway.

Like all shapeshifters, Akko has a symbol on her neck that signifies what she is. Due to the high prejudice against shapeshifters, Akko stays an animal to avoid being known, and also does not transform in front of others unless to kill them. If she has to be a human, Akko commonly wears a hood to hide her neck.

Akko is one of the last shapeshifters to exist, and, despite Chariot being rumored to have finally been murdered, she still believes Chariot is alive.

Akko was with her parents when they all attended Chariot’s final speech/show and here began her dream.

Akko can use a dagger if she needs to.

Side-characters

Akko’s Parents: Shapeshifters who were murdered when Akko was a young age.

Chariot: A shapeshifter who somehow had a voice and power that even normal people listened to. Akko idolizes Chariot because, despite the hate against shapeshifters, Chariot was well known and was an activist for shapeshifters despite the danger upon her head. Chariot mysteriously disappears one day for reasons unknown, and everyone but Akko assumes she was finally murdered.

Shapeshifters

Shapeshifters are defined as humans who possess the ability to transform to any animal at will. Unfortunately, because animals were seen as less than human, shapeshifters were defined as “punished by the gods” and so many decided shapeshifters needed to be removed from the world for sin. This causes a massacre of shapeshifters to the point that they are instead a rarity.

Shapeshifters do not transform with their clothes, and so either destroy them or lose them depending on their transformation.

All shapeshifters have a symbol on their neck which is what is used to find them. They can also be found by their human personalities/characteristics when they are an animal.

If weakened, shapeshifters return to their human form and cannot transform until they are stronger.

Diakko

Art:

Meeting (Comes with a 500 word story!)

Misthios!Diana and Shapeshifter!Akko Sketch-dump

Diana and Bear!Akko

Fancy Diakko (the first continuity error lol)

Diana and Akko adventure together and do all of their quests together as a rag-tag chaotic duo. God I’m so excited for this section I wish I could make art FASTER but anyway:

They meet at about 17 years old but the main story takes place when they are 18+

The two get off to a wrong start when Diana saves Akko’s life. Because Akko is a shapeshifter, she’s high in value to kill probably by some cult idk but there is always a bounty on her head. When Diana saves her, Akko assumes Diana only did so to steal the drachmae from the original perpetrators, but Diana really just leaves her alone afterwards. Confused, Akko legit just starts tagging along LMAO she finds Diana interesting and so follows her and Diana’s just like what the fuck but eventually she gets over it. They become powerful assets to each other as Diana can now scope the skies with Akko and Akko is pretty much protected under Diana. Then when Akko gets much stronger Diana gets extra manpower and protection too.

Akko enjoys staying in her human form to spend time with Diana.

Diana keeps buying Akko clothes just because it makes Akko happy (and also, despite Akko uncaring because her transformations are so frequent anyway, Diana doesn’t want her to be naked??)

Diana is easily persuaded by Akko and puts Akko’s interests first (feeds her first, considers what Akko would want, etc.)

#lwa #lwa au #odyssey au #odyssey masterpost #my writing #odyssey!diakko

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venusmages · 3 years

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Cyberpunk 2077 non-spoiler review

Anyways here’s my writeup about my least favorite parts of 2077 for people who are interested in seeing if it’s for them. Both going to talk about content as well as gameplay. This is for PC version, too, because I know last gen consoles are suffering terribly rn and I wouldn’t recommend the game if you’re not going to be playing on PC. At least not until it’s on sale or the issues have been resolved. It really, really shouldn’t have been released on last gen consoles at all in my opinion - or at least should’ve been released on consoles LATER.

If you like Saints Row, GTA, Mass Effect, Shadowrun, or the Cyberpunk genre in general - I definitely think this is something you might want to take a peek at! I wasn’t anticipating the game until about a month or two before release - so maybe that’s why I’m having a blast - but It’s one of my favorite stories from the past decade as far as sci-fi goes. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, and It’s really impressed me. I can’t even go into detail about all the things I LOVE because I really want folks to experience it themselves. Just know there’s a very intricately detailed world, all the characters are memorable and insanely well realized and complex, and the story is great fun. Also made me cry like 5 times. It’s become one of my FAVORITE games very quickly.

I’d also recommend Neon Arcade if you want someone who’s been covering the game for quite a while, including the technical and game industry aspect. He does well to go into some detail and even though he’s a fan, I’ve found him to be largely unbiased. I’m not going to go into industry politics here because I feel that’s up for everyone to decide on their own terms.

No spoilers, things to keep in mind, content warnings, etc. below!

CONTENT WARNINGS and issues with plot/story

this setting is dark. very dark. if you struggle stomaching things like dystopian landscapes, body horror, physical, mental and sexual abuse, corporate and gang violence, abuse of children, harsh language, and concepts that mess with the perception of reality - this game might not be for you. It’s a very mature setting, and I don’t mean that in the Adult Swim kind of way. I mean it in the ‘oh shit, it went there’ way. In my opinion I haven’t run across anything in it that was handled distastefully when it dipped into the depressing, but dark and gritty isn’t everyone’s cup of tea and I wanted to give a disclaimer.

The game’s universe in advertising and working for the lower class also exploits sex/sex work quite a bit. This is part of the lore itself because in this universe everyone’s become desensitized to sex and violence to the point that marketing embraces it and makes it ridiculous. I feel it’s very obvious that it doesn’t condone this message and is instead a commentary on consumerism - but people still might be uncomfortable seeing a lot of suggestive stuff all over the place regardless.

Women in game are naked more often than men - even though there is nudity for both. This is likely a mix of appealing to the Gamer Boy demographic (even though the story does NOT actually), or the fact that media is way more cool with seeing naked women than seeing full frontal nudity on men. They probably had to tone some of it down to avoid going above an M rating.

The story is amazing, but sometimes it dumps a lot onto you at once. It’s one of those sci-fi stories that you have to really be following the names, faces, and concepts continually to get it all down. There’s a lot of betrayal, background players, etc. I think by the mid-way point I’d mostly had it, but It’s pretty dense. However it’s still amazing. You might just need two playthroughs before every tiny detail clicks - because there’s a LOT of details.

Honestly I think it would help to read up on the lore first so you’re not going ‘what’ constantly. But people have seemed to manage fine without that also! Neon Arcade has a really nice series of videos (like 2 or 3) that get you up to speed with the universe. It also helps you decide if the tone is right for you.

I think the main story should’ve been longer, also. I don’t mind a 20 hr story, especially in a massive RPG, but It feels like they really struggled to cram as much into that time frame as possible. It skirts the edge of being nice and concise, snappy, and tight - and needing just a few more moments to take a breath and wait a second. This is helped if you do a lot of side quests.

The straight male romance option, River, is INCREDIBLY well written but he doesn’t tie into the main plot in any way whatsoever. It’s very strange and feels like they either ran out of time with him, or slapped together a romance with him at the last second. All the other romances at least know what’s going on with V’s story - meanwhile River has no idea, and you can never tell him. He’s an amazing guy though and I highly recommend his questline. He appears in ACT 2.

In general I’d say not to bother with the romances. There are only 4 total, and while the romancible characters on their own are really well written, the romances themselves are just kinda meh. One romance you don’t even meet until act 3. I don’t think they should’ve been included in the game at all, because they definitely don’t feel as fleshed out as everything else.

CDPR also sometimes forget that women players or gay men exist. Panam and Judy have a lot more content than River and Kerry for example. I don’t think this is intentional, they just have a large fanbase of dudebros. It only shows in the romance content and the nudity thing though.

Johnny, Takemura, and Claire should’ve been romances and I will fight to the death on that.

There are gay and trans characters in the game and their stories don’t revolve around their sexualities. It’s very Fallout: New Vegas in it’s approach to characters: IE. you’re going to love them. All of them.

V’s gender isn’t locked to their body type or their genitals- but to to their voice. I don’t think it’s the best solution they could’ve used but given how the game is heavily voice acted I assume that was what they had to work with.

Some of the romances are locked to both cis voices AND body types (not genitals if I recall but body shapes). That’s disappointing but I assume it was because of scripted scene issues and/or ignorance on the dev’s part considering the LGBT NPCS are so AMAZINGLY done. There’s no homophobic or transphobic language in the game - though there are gendered curse words and insults if that bothers you.

Some characters MAY suffer from ‘bilingual people don’t talk like that’ syndrome. But it can be hard to say for sure given that translators exist in this universe and the way they operate aren’t fully described. It’s only momentarily distracting, not enough to take away from how charming the NPCs are.

The endings are really good don’t get me wrong but I want fix it fic :(. All of the endings out of like 6 (?) in the game are bittersweet.

Both gender V’s are very good but female V’s voice acting is out of this world. If you don’t know what voice to go with/are neutral I’d highly recommend female V. Male V is charming and good but he feels much more monotone compared to female V.

V has their own personality. To some this won’t be a detractor - but a lot of people thought they’d be making absolutely everything from the ground up. V is more of a commander shepard or geralt than a skyrim or d&d pc, if that makes sense. You can customize and influence them to a HUGE degree, some aspects of V will always be the same.

Streetkid is the most boring background - at least for it’s introduction/prologue.

GAMEPLAY/TECHNICAL

If you can run your game on ultra, don’t. It actually looks best with a mix of high and medium settings. Unless you have a beast that has ray-tracing - then by all means use ray tracing and see how absolutely insanely good it looks.

There are color blind modes for the UI, but not for some of the AI/Netrunning segments in cutscenes. Idk how much this will effect folks with colorblindness but those segments are thankfully short.

There was an issue with braindances being an epilepsy trigger because for some reason they decided to mirror the flashing pattern after real epilepsy tests - probably because it ‘looks cool’. I don’t have epilepsy but it even hurt my eyes and gave me a headache. Massive oversight and really goddamn weird. Thankfully this was fixed.

There is no driving AI. Like at all. If you leave your car in the street the traffic is just going to pile up behind it. It’s one of the very few immersion breaking things I’ve encountered.

Sometimes when an NPC is driving with you in the car, they’ll drive on the curb and/or run into people. It’s kind of funny but can occasionally result in something weird. Feels very GTA - but nothing excruciating.

The camera angle feels a little too low in first person mode when driving on cars. You get used to it though.

The police in this game feel slapped on and I hope they improve it. Right now if you commit a crime, you can never tell what will actually trigger it. And if you just run away a few blocks the police forget about it.

Bikes are just way more fun to ride than the cars are.

You CANNOT respec your character after you make them. Ever. it sucks. Go in with an idea ahead of time what you wanna do - it’s better than being a jack of all trades.

as of now you also CANNOT change their appearance after you exit the character creator. This, also, sucks. Make sure you REALLY like your V or you’re gonna be replaying the openings over and over like I did.

Photomode on PC is the N key. Had to look it up. The mode itself is great though

Shooting and Mele fighting feel pretty standard. I don’t have a lot of shooter experience besides Bethesda games so anything feels better than that to me. So far I’ve enjoyed stealth and mele the best, but that’s just my own taste! The combat and driving aren’t groundbreaking by any means, but they’re still very fun. I look forward to running at people with swords or mantis blades, and zipping around the city on a motorcycle to see the sights. The story, lore, and interesting quests and characters are the real draw here.

I haven’t encountered any game breaking bugs in 80-ish hours of play time. One or two T-poses, a few overlays not loading or floating objects - but nothing terrible. Again, my experience is with Bethesda games. This is all usually fixed by either opening your inventory and closing it again, or exiting out and reloading your save.

The C button is mapped for crouching AND skipping dialogue by default. That’s terrible. Change it in the settings to be HOLDING C skips dialogue and you’ll be gucci.

There’s apparently a crafting system. I have never been inclined to touch it. But I also play on easy like a pleb so IDK how it all scales otherwise.

The mirror reflections can be a little bit weird, at least on my end. They always end up a teeny bit grainy despite my computer being able to run everything on Ultra Max. You can still get good screens out of it though!

So many people text me to sell me cars and I want them to stop. Please. also the texting menu is abysmal. The rest is ok tho

It’s pretty clear when you’re going to go into a ‘cutscene’. all cutscenes are rendered in-engine BUT you often will be talking to other characters at a specific angle or setting. The game locks you into this usually by having you sit down. It works for me - after all we do a lot of sitting- but it IS very obvious that it’s a way for the game to get you in the frame it wants to display.

That’s all I can think of rn! If you’re interested but wanted to get a slightly better idea of whats going on, I hope this helps. I’m really enjoying it and despite my issues it’s exceeding my expectations. I’m going to be thinking about and replaying this game for quite a while.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 review #2077 review #cp2077 #rosetxt #txt

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kyu-bri · 4 years

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Magia Rapport pt 2

@magiarapport

August 24th prompt: What was your favorite event, and why? Is it because of gameplay or the story?

It’s hard to choose so I’m gonna just, gush a bit.

As you can probably tell I’m very biased toward the OG girls, I started Magia Record primarily because PMMM had become my new obsession and I wanted some sort of constant flow of content out of decade old anime lmao.

But another thing I think I hooked onto was Inu Curry’s writing. They really know Madoka Magica and aren’t afraid to really play with them- something the writers for a spin-off gacha game (as with most spin-off stories honestly) can be scared to do. Inu Curry made references, revealed secrets and built upon the story we already know- which lets be honest is what we always truly want from a spin-off series. Magia Record proper does this well by putting more magical girls into the world and letting us see things work out better for them than for the original cast, but what I really appreciated with this story was getting to see that old original cast get to get in on that, and these events managed to do that without watering them down any.

Under the cut is me going on for 3000 words about why I love these three events I’m so sorry. TL;DR at the very end-

I’ll go in release order,

A La Carte Valentine was one of the first if not THE first event I got in on. I was eager to bc 1 Gay Magical Girl Shit Guaranteed. And ofc 2 OG Cast participation.

I want to preface by saying I actually loved all the girls’ stories in this. I was very much still in a state of getting used to Iroha’s gang let alone trying to care about the secondary girls. I knew Tsukasa had this angsty Twins Separated At Birth Deal and liked seeing her home life (also I immediantly stanned Take. Regular well-meaning dude who has no idea whats going on just trying his best and hating his boss). I knew nothing about Ami except Cowgirl Meguca and getting the bulk of her personality in one short even I think really kept me from being absolutely sick of her, she’s just a cute silly teenage girl who could be in literally anything and I was able to just endearingly giggle at that. Hinano managed to do the heterosexual unrequited crush cliché without me groaning or missing any of her regular personality. Also was there a Ren part? I don’t remember because everything Ren does feels like a Soft Yuri Valentines Special. Also I love Momoko. Ok moving on to what I Really wanna talk about.

Madoka is genuinely my Least Cared About of the Holy Sextet. I don’t think she’s bad or even boring- Madoka has a depth to her character, like, really deep- but that’s not something ever really touched upon by the fandom. Even when people like her and make her the Heroine she’s Supposed to be, it’s usually in the context of “Girl who feels nothing but kindness and happy thoughts would cut off her right hand to feed to a hungry dog. Isn’t she so Good????”. And honestly, while I understand the point it was going to make, I wasn’t crazy about her sacrifice in the end of the series. (Team Homura “Rebellion Is Good Actually” ftw) All because I think that I’m an Adult Woman watching this like “You are 14yrs old and need to be home playing Sims and not sacrificing yourself for the greater good you stupid silly little baby girl”

So my point is here near all fan content I encounter tends to emphasize whats sort of my least favorite facet of Madoka. I don’t think she made the ‘wrong’ decision in the context she and the story were given, but it’s still a sad thing to show a depressed(!!!) insecure girl resolving to give away her very existence so that every other girl on earth has a chance to just Dream. Oh and they still usually die young. But that’s ok because then she takes them and lets them sleep peacefully forever in her Heaven Basement (Yes I am bitter stan Homura I would yank this savior complex infant girl out the sky too)

MY POINT BEING (The servers closing let me BLEED OUT ALL MY FEELINGS) This event did not do that!!! It made Madoka…….. EVERYTHING SHE SHOULD BE??? ALWAYS??? Showed her HOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO VIEW HER??? (Read: Happy and Alive and Confident at no foreboding or sacrifice of anyone else!!!!)

She is Sassy and Surrounded By Friends and Really Funny??? And we get this Ridiculous Oh My God On Crack metaphor about her being this all-powerful apocalypse bringing being which is representing her love for the universe through her Witch form of Wanting Everyone To Be Happy And Safe With Her??? And she still risks herself to save everyone as is her Thing to do but we get to have her do it without erasing her existence as a human being at the end and if that is not some GOOD SHIT????

Ok next:

NGL Sayaka’s (fav character, inarguable best girl, can u not tell) parts in MagiReco til like the last arc have always left me a bit disappointed. She was the only late comer of the OG girls from what I understand and it kind of gives her the air of what a lot of the second(/thirdary?) girls suffer from. You can tell the writers can’t even figure out a trope to apply her to to make her easy and two dimensional to write about so they just don’t know what to do. They definitely try to make up for it (especially in the anime which Praise Be but that’s probably Inu Currys doing) but she’s still lacking like, any of the depth of her personality. Which, I guess I could anticipate. Because most of the fandom tends to as well. (again)

Gonna stop complaining and get on with- That didn’t feel as much the case in her Valentine event. Sure it was still the same formula of “The Issue Is Kyosuke” but that didn’t play out as grueling as her personal story did with “Nine Episodes Of “The Issue Is Kyosuke””

There was one big glaring heart-aching detail of “Mami isn’t really there because SHES IN A FUCKING CULT RIGHT NOW” which kind of jarred the event out of the ho-hum silly valentines sidestory these events usually keep up.

Sayaka has this crisis about Doing Anything Meaningful With Kyosuke which we all know what That’s calling back to, but in this environment we get to have Kyoko come right up and be in a position with her to earnestly and affectionately Push Her To Do It. The lonely little tsundere bitch girl pushes her Not Friend to Give The Bastard The Gotdamn Chocolate Already and for a moment you can only think about What If’s and If Only’s. Sayaka’s is still the weakest of the threes stories in this event but it worked harder to show us different sides of the characters then 6 chapters of Another Story managed to do.

And then there’s fucking Homura.

I will be, eternally grateful for Kuro. As a character that becomes metaphorical for the 2D ways we initially viewed the feathers and just NPCs in games in general, and also like, giving Homura a friend she actually cares about that isn’t the tangled dark web of Bullshit she’s gotten tied up with Madoka in. Please ask me about all my AU’s where Kuro is Homuras first girlfriend.

Seeing Moemura in Magia Record has always been a bit surreal, we never really understand just what stage of Trauma this Homura is in because Multiverses Are Hell, but this event gives us a good chunk of a Homura who still has hope and faith both in the world and Madoka. Theres this wonder to her that while still bogged down by terrible experiences still has the energy to be Trying. And she sees a girl who used to be like her- which when you think about it is probably what Madoka saw in her- and she wants to help. Because Madoka helped her. And Madoka is the best thing in the universe and maybe Homura can be just a little bit closer to that.

Kuro is too far gone though, as is the reality frequently in this series, things don’t work out just because of circumstance. Kuro was a bullied, insecure little girl who realistically shouldn’t have had to become a rampaging monster because of it. We’re reminded of this being the reality of the Madoka universe. Homura, is reminded of this reality. Homura loses this one chance to bring hope into the world like Madoka brought hope into hers.

And then her story ties into the ending of Madoka’s. Madoka saves her life yet again, even as Homura continues to feel miserable and empty. But at least Madoka is with her. The girls then share a quiet, intimate Valentines together. And you sort of understand how Homura fell so far into the darkness that the only thing she was able to still care about and fight for was Madoka’s safety.

That shit slaps. It slaps you right in the heart and causes fucking bruising but then u want it to do it again because you’re masochistic and Meguca Is Suffering.

Anyway I hope Kuroe slaps our hearts more in season2

MOVING ON!!!!

~Nagisa’s Wish~

Ok, I don’t remember what got me so simp over Nagisa, I think it was the heart-aching irony that Mami adopts the witch that fucking ate her. But that is my baby now and I’d die for her. Fandom Charlotte whose pink and silly and loves her mom and is Mami’s cancer-riddled girlfriend is cool and all but she isn’t a tiny Halloweeny baby whose fucking bitter angry and manically obsessed with cheese due to PTSD.

I had saw a summary of Nagisa’s Wish reposted just to quickly explain Nagisa’s backstory, and as such immediately had to search out if that crazy ride was true- so I actually watched this whole event probably before I downloaded the game. It was surreal on its own but replaying it when it came to NA didn’t lessen it any- I got to process more of what I was witnessing and as result stanned Yu pretty hard.

I guess to explain my Emotions here, saving Yu for later- calls for me to just, describe who Nagisa is as a human being and my headcanons surrounding it all with what this event gave us. Whether you consider it canon or not it’s one version of events that we were given and that I am all for accepting.

Nagisa’s Mom was a celebrity, she could have been an actress though I also like the idea of her being an Idol. She met Nagisa’s Dad oh-so romantically and got knocked up- they very well could have been married but it doesn’t seem clear enough. He seems to have left too suddenly for legal matters like that. Nagisa is approximately 11, and while she seems to remember her Father, she doesn’t in the sense of having had a relationship with him or any feelings. Her Mother has to “explain” why he left, so Nagisa was probably still young even if not a baby. What I’m getting at here is the timeline for when Nagisa’s Mom Got Like That. Nagisa can remember her from before she was, and then says that she got sick after her Dad left. So what I’m wondering is did Daddy Momoe ruin this young rich girls life, give her syphilis and then leave her with a baby she was unfit to care for in poverty? I know half of this is running on anime logic but Holy Shit all the possible ways reasons and ideas for why things could’ve gotten This Bad.

Is it ridiculously dark and edgy that the original story we were given was “Girl wishes her dying mother could have her favorite cake but then realizes OOPSIE-DAISY I could have wished for her to Not Die instead!!!!” got turned into “11yr old hates her abusive mother so much she wants to make her suffer in the most symbolic way she can and then goes mental when she isn’t able to do it”??? Yes. But if I had the mental capacity to I have to admit I was in a position to be just as bitter at that age too. I can’t call it unrealistic. I may infact be projecting hard with how much I support and enjoy this backstory.

Anyway Nagisa was in such a state of trauma and distress at a horrifically young age when she died that it broke her mental faculties so severely that even when she came back as a literal Angel of God she had blocked it out so deeply and thoroughly she seemingly regressed to an even younger capacity and hyperfixated on the trait that she has before used to try to bond with her Mother who she had died hating.

And that also slaps u right in the heart.

A N D T H E N !

~Beachside Bonds~

Just the simple structure of this story was so enjoyable and nicely done. We finally get to see the OG girls in a context we wouldn’t be able to in literally any other scenario. They’re going on a summer vacation together and Homura is sentimentally journaling every single second of it. Is this mayhaps because she’s never gotten to be this happy and blissful with these girls she loves so much??? Of course this is are you not paying attention what the fuck. Homura is so optimistic and healed and hopeful she’s acting like what she might actually be doing as a normal teenage girl. (A heartrending contrast to the end of her Valentines Special)

We get nothing short of pure fluffy Slice Of Life shenanigans on the beach which even includes a bunch of the Kamihama girls that the OG crew knows! And they talk about it! And introduce eachother! And their friends commentate on it! Ren gets to see Kyoko Not Being A Bitch and then Sayaka teases her about having made friends and oh my god my heart is turning into cottoncandy as we speak Mom holy FUCK

Sayaka’s existence fucking matters in this story! It’s her families Hotel they’re staying at and she has relationships and memories with the creepy twins that live there and she talks like a fucking person??? And gives opinions??? That aren’t just copypasted “Justice is Good and Bad things are BAD!!!!”

Mami is fresh out of her fucking Cult Drama and she’s still trying to be cool Senpai but then she DECKS Homura in the face and gets scared by the ghost stories and then turns into pudding and waxes nostalgia at Kyoko out of nowhere IT’S ALMOST LIKE SHE’S A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL????????

G H O S T S ? ? ? ?

Y U ! ? ! ? ! ? !

(IS G A Y ! ! ! !)

This whole fucking backstory and truly horrifying Romeo and Juliet on Acid love and death story between Yu and her girlfriend and like if I wasn’t fascinated enough by Yu just being the creepy organ harvester before but apparently thats what she became after she literally made some sort of wish that erased all of her memories besides the nickname her sweetheart used for her and coincidentally also added to her the task of killing all Bad People?????

Yu made a wish to be able to get rid of All Bad People preserving the innocent version of herself who grew up with this girl and it was right after a failed double suicide attempt on fucking Doomed Lovers Cliff fucking Lifetime Will You Ever.

It then pairs with Homura whose PTSD gets to shine through a bit in being unable to believe any bad sort of Madoka which how could you try to force her to at this point while Also pairing Homura with Ren in the “Gay Love Saved Our Lives: Traumatized vers & Vanilla vers”

I don’t remember if there was a symbolic finale and tbh I have forgotten a lot of the details with Yu and her girlfriend Whatsherface because that shit was just so shocking and bizarre to read and much too painful to reread in a timely fashion just.

That shit hurted but it was full of so much love and hope both doomed and stolen but still was wrapped up in the comforting concept that This Is The Universe Where Homura Gets To Be Okay This Time.

She’s still scarred beyond comprehension and this ghost drama accentuated it all but at the end of the day this is still the Safe Universe where all of them are alive and the Holy Quintet are friends and they’re all going to be okay (Godoka & Aniplex willing) and so many of us love Madoka Magica because it shows girls fighting through the same pain we’ve been through and keeping their hope alive and here we get to see them actually find peace in a clunkily written fanservicey spin-off mobile gacha game and hey, that made me happy while I got to experience it. Thanks for the ideas and memories and tragic backstories and funny thirdary characters MagiReco I’m gonna take em all and Run.

Akjsladbfalkjfsbslk If you read this all without getting a migraine or blocking me ily thanks for listening!!!!!!

TL;DR

Me likey A La Carte Valentine bc it’s silly and gay and I simp Kuro

Me likey Nagisa’s Wish bc sawft baby is good and so are Tragic Edgy Backstories

Me likey Beachside Bonds bc Gay Ghosts and Our Girls Finally Get To Be Happy Peaceful(ish) Teenage Girls and that’s all I want for them ;w;

Reeses In Pieces ya’ll

1Ten 2More 3Words 4To 5Hit 6(3000 7Words 8Woo 9Boy 10Howdy

#magia rapport #magia record #pmmm

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princecupcakee · 4 years

Text

Park Bench | Reddie

Read on AO3

Rating: E

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word Count: 3,112

Chapter: 6/8

Past Chapters: Chapter 1 (AO3), Chapter 2 (AO3), Chapter 3 (AO3), Chapter 4 (AO3), Chapter 5 (AO3)

Next Chapter:

Summary: Recently divorced and ‘incapable of love’, Eddie Kaspbrak moves to Los Angeles for work and a small, small hope of a fresh start. Broken up and never dated again, Richie Tozier tries to get back into love with help from his love of music. Quickly meeting eyes and one concert later, they think that maybe love isn’t that bad. So they try it one more time.

Chapter 6: Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Hurt, Richie Tozier, Stan And Patty Uris, And Ben and Beverly Marsh Buy A Ring & Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon Plan A Leave

Tags/Warnings: Angst / Unhappy Ending / theres only one sex scene but this is explicit anyway / Bisexual Richie Tozier / Gay Eddie Kaspbrak / Post-Divorce / Implied/Referenced Cheating / Inspired By Remembering Sunday (All Time Low) / Inspired by The Book Ninja by Ali Berg / Implied/Referenced Child Abuse / Implied/Referenced Abuse / Implied/Referenced Manipulation

Tag-list: @richietoaster, @s-s-georgie, @mikeuris, @gazebobullshit, @that-weird-girls-blog, @tozierking, @thoughtfullyyoungduck, @s-onora, @bellarosewrites, @lermanslogan, @ambitiousskychild, @ghostnebula, @vanillaredvelvet,

(Ask if you wanna be on the tag-list!!)

Chapter 6

Eddie Kaspbrak Gets Hurt

Richie was out getting… something (he didn’t tell Eddie), he said it would take a while. Which left Eddie in an uncomfortable state. He didn’t want it to happen again, he didn’t want to lose something as important as this.

“How could you do this? You cheated on me, Eddie! With a man! I thought you cared for me, you didn’t want to hurt me!”

“Myra, I’m sorry. It was a mistake-“

“How was that a mistake? You’ve been dating for three months, Eddie. And you just pass that off as a mistake?”

“None of that was supposed to happen, Myra! I didn’t know what I was doing!”

“The texts seem to say otherwise.”

“Fine! Lets get a divorce!”

“What?”

“I’m done! I can’t do anything here. You’re always saying that I’m hurting you, then I’ll stop! This marriage was headed for doom the moment it happened.”

“Are you hearing yourself, Eddie? This is crazy! This is what that man has done to you!”

“None of that was him, it was me! I don’t want this marriage, I don’t want this life! I’m sorry, I know what I did was wrong and I should’ve just told you before this got out of hand, but I didn’t. So, I’m sorry. This is how we fix this.”

Eddie, feeling incapable of love, takes a safe seat on the couch. ‘What the hell am I doing here?’ He thinks to himself, bringing his face into his hands. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he’s been thinking about this the whole time. He’s been thinking of leaving, this whole time. He’s been so happy with Richie. Of course, he was. But his past is taunting him, following his every move and making him afraid.

He doesn’t want to hurt Richie. The best thing to do is to leave. Just as he did with Myra. That is how you fix it, right?

Fuck. He needed a drive. Now. Richie took his car out though, and talking to yourself at the train station isn’t a thing he would really want to do. Run. That’s it. Thats what he’ll do. He’s always been good at track; this should be fine. His mother wasn’t here to stop him this time.

So he put on his shoes and stepped out the door. It was never that cold in Los Angeles, people casually went out on runs. But when he bolts away from Richie’s place, ran straight onto the road with his eyes closed from pushing back tears then getting hit by a car, he thinks maybe running was a bad idea.

He woke up in a shaking ambulance. His eyes shut, he should’ve expected this. Its not like he hasn’t woken up in an ambulance before. ‘I thought the point was to help people, I feel like I’m gonna throw up’ he thinks bitterly. He closes his eyes again, he didn’t need to be asked questions, or checked on, just needed time to think. ‘You wanted a drive now you got one’ his mind laughs at him. He was tired, but he did need to think. He could make a run for it, leave without a word. But that wouldn’t be fair to Richie, would it? He’d do anything to keep Richie. Keep him happy, keep him in his life, whichever he meant, it still fits his description. He could pick a fight. He was good at that. He cheated on his wife, he would know how to cause problems.

If Richie were to see him at the hospital, which was likely, he could pick a fight. A quick, simple, small fight that he would enlarge, ruining every smile he received since the divorce. He wants to deserve Richie. He needs it. But he can’t just be that person. Plus, Richie would find out sooner or later, that he’s truly incapable of not fucking up love. The love in his marriage wasn’t real. He tried to remember if he ever thought it was. Hell, if he fucked up a love he only created in his head, how could he be capable of real fucking thing? He knew it sounded stupid, but his heart felt like it was being thrown into an incinerator, maybe that meant it wasn’t.

Its too much for him to handle, thats easy to admit, but to admit to himself that he’s so in love would be a little harder. He knew where this was headed before it even started, he was too much of a mess. He shut his eyes tighter. Richie has the perfect job for him now, he’s got his friends, he’s got a place, he should be fine without Eddie. Eddie was just scared, and incapable, and destructive, and defensive, and nothing that Richie would need.

He promised himself that night, seeing Myra cry and beg for him to stay, that love was too much. That he couldn’t handle hurting someone like that. He hurt his mother so much as a child, she would always say so after Eddie would leave the house for longer than she’d said to. Was she really hurt? Eddie couldn’t tell anymore, he just knew that she didn’t like it. Myra was mostly the same, was hurt when ever Eddie would do something that he wanted to without telling her first. Seemed as if most of what he wanted wasn’t allowed.

He knew that it was trauma. That it was built into his head that he’s always hurting people. But he’s still scared. Its one thing to know what happened, its another to know how to deal with it. Eddie didn’t know the latter. He’s been trying, really, but in the early hours of the morning, when Richie would be sound asleep beside him, he’d wonder if he hurt Richie. He probably would. So, the best plan would be to leave, where Richie could forget about him, and go on as if he never existed, maybe then he couldn’t hurt Richie.

So, when Richie sees him in the hospital, worried and almost in tears, his heart twists.

“Eddie, what happened? Are you okay?” Richie rushes, Beverly, Ben, Stan, and Patty following behind. Eddie doesn’t bother to ask why.

“I'm fine,” he says stubbornly.

“What happened to you?”

“I went out for a run, got hit by a car, I’m fine though.”

“You aren’t fine, you got hit by a car,” Richie says loudly. Eddie wonders if this hurt him.

“So? I’m still breathing, Richie.”

“You’re still- you’re still breathing? So? Your fucking hurt I thought you were a risk analyst!”

“What? So you’re gonna get mad at me for getting hurt? It was an accident, I can do everything just fine. We can go back now, I’m not in any pain,” Eddie waves off. He really was in pain though, a throbbing headache, his sides feeling like they’ve been stabbed.

“We’re not going back, you have to stay here and heal, from… that!” Richie gestures to Eddie in the hospital bed.

“You can’t just tell me to stay here, I’m fine, this is my body anyway.”

“You’re being a dick, man.”

“Do I look like I care?”

“I’m trying to help you!”

“You’re not doing shit!”

Silence followed after that, Richie with tears in his eyes and Eddie trying to hold his back. ‘This is how to fix it’ he reminds himself, turning his head to face away from Richie.

“Well… how can I do something?” Richie asks softly.

Another minute of silence, “You can’t,” Eddie chokes out, “can you please just leave?”

“Okay.”

~~~

Richie, seated on a hard cold chair in the hospital, tries to breathe. Calling him a dick was probably unnecessary, he was hurt after all. That was probably his fault. Yeah, he was trying to help Eddie but he wasn’t doing it right. He did feel as if he was a bit controlling. Thats always what Connor would say. Every time he asked him where he was going, who that girl he was with was, why he wouldn’t come home at night. He was controlling.

He should apologize, he really is in love with Eddie. Mike and Bill are in Eddie’s hospital room right now, he should just go in there. A normal apology might not do it. He grinned. Everything fits into place. He just hopes Eddie says ‘yes.’

Richie Tozier, Stan And Patty Uris, And Ben and Beverly Marsh Buy A Ring

“I’m horrified,” Richie mumbles walking into the store. They were buying a ring now. Richie’s plans all fitting into place. He had told Eddie that he went out to buy something, though, he doubts Eddie was really listening. Patty, Stan, Ben, and Beverly were here with him, they were the only ones who knew about the proposal.

He had the perfect plan. He’d replay the day they first kissed. Well, without the date of course. And seeing Walter and Maddison. (He still wonders how to fill that gap.) Pulling Eddie out of bed to take him to a different restaurant with a similar view to the one before. He didn’t want Eddie to exactly notice his plan so a normal too-early-watch-the-sunrise breakfast would do. He would take Eddie out around town, anywhere the wind took them, by sundown, they would be back, seated on the bench a ring in Richie’s hand and one knee on the ground. He had checked the weather for that day, it was most likely to rain that night, which fit perfectly to his plans. And, if not, it would work either way.

Maybe he’d play a game again, ask Eddie to marry him as they talked. He was still debating that part since Eddie talked about his divorce to Richie that day. Well, he mentioned it. Eddie wouldn’t really tell him things. It wasn’t something he really liked to do. He told Richie nothing about his divorce, his family, it's almost like it didn’t happen. But it affected Eddie, Richie could tell that. It slightly worried Richie. Eddie wouldn’t really let him in. Anything about his past seems to be missing, something long gone and thrown away. If Eddie didn’t want to talk about it, that was fine, sometimes Richie just hoped he would tell him sometimes. Richie just hoped that he could help.

“Don’t worry about it, Richie,” Patty says, smiling.

A quick thank you to Patty, “remind me again how you know Eddie’s ring size?” He asks Beverly.

“I helped him look for rings when he got married.”

“Oh God that makes it worse. What if he doesn’t wanna get married anymore? Did his divorce suck? He didn’t tell me much about it-“

“Richie,” Stan says, walking over to a jeweler. Richie walks over to a different one with Bev.

“You should ask him yourself, Rich. About his divorce. All I really know is that he loves you,” Beverly smiles after asking to see three different rings (which Richie thought was a bit extra.)

“I guess thats… yeah, thats a better idea.”

“I know you’re doing this again but, I mean, I’m really believing in this one, I’ve known Eddie a long time.”

Richie appreciated the comment in silence. He believed in this too. “You’re marriage has been perfect, how?”

Beverly was surprised by the question, “I guess, love? It isn’t that easy to explain, and everything I’m going to say would be cheesy as fuck, but yeah, I guess love would be it.”

“You and Ben are such sappy assholes,” Richie laughs, earning a playful punch to the shoulder from Beverly.

“When are you proposing anyway?”

“Saturday,” he smiles confidently.

The jeweller brought up the box of rings set inside the glass box. Beverly had chosen three. Two golden bands with matching circular diamonds embedded into it, a pair of golden rings with three blue diamonds, and the third, a silver ring with a large square diamond in its centre. Richie hated the last one for sure. He debated it for a few minutes, the first pair or the second.

“I’d say the gold one with the blue ones,” Stan says, coming up behind them.

“Yeah,” Richie smiled, “could you carve something on the inside of that?”

“Of course,” the jeweler replied, “just write down what you want,” he pulled out a piece of paper that Richie was sure wasn’t there and wrote ‘R + E’ The jeweler then explained the prices and the ring in words Richie would only dream to understand.

He was buying a ring for Eddie. He was going to try proposing, he was going to ask Eddie to marry him. The thought alone made Richie’s heart race, but he smiled. This love is worth a shot. This would work. Eddie wouldn’t do want Connor did to him. Eddie is kind, and brave and caring, and everything Richie could ask for. Richie wondered if the cheesier something sounds, the more true it is. It seemed to fit the definition.

“Hey, Rich?” Stan says beside him. Bev was off somewhere with Ben now, Patty was looking at a few necklaces, leaving Richie and Stan together.

“Yeah?”

“I’m really proud of you man,” he pats Richie’s shoulder.

“Thanks,” he smiled fondly.

“I was worried about you, man. After… Connor, I didn’t think you’d want to keep with it.”

“Eddie’s really amazing.”

“I can tell,” he smiles.

“Don’t take him from me. If you got that hot shit, Mike, you could probably get Eddie too.”

“Who- who told you that?” Stan asked punching Richie’s arm.

“What is it with people punching me?” He rubs his arm exaggeratedly.

Stan laughed, “‘cause you’re a dick.”

His phone rang, echoing around the store, gaining looks. ‘Eds Spaghetti’ flashed on his screen. “hey!”

“Sir, I have Mr. Edward Kaspbrak’s phone with me and you were on the emergency dial. He is in the hospital,” the woman on the other line gave an address, and Richie shut his phone to head to the hospital.

Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough and Mike Hanlon Plan A Leave

“Eddie, are you sure about this? This is the one time its working out for you, we both think so,” Mike says sympathetically gesturing to him and Bill.

“I’ve made enough fucking mistakes I don’t wanna keep fucking shit up.”

“B-but you aren’t!” Bill argues, he opens his mouth to say more but Eddie cuts him off.

“I will, Bill. You know me just as well as I do, I can’t do this,” it hurts when he says that. He’s about to burst into tears, he knows it, so he breathes slowly.

“I haven’t seen you this happy, Eddie. This is… new. This is something thats good for you,” Mike has always been rational. The one to make decisions and the one to ask for help. But Eddie doesn’t need help. He doesn’t want to change what he thinks, he doesn’t want to be persuaded away, leading to what he knows will happen.

Bill and Mike are talking again, but he doesn’t want to hear anything else. He tries not to blink, the tears will probably fall the second he does. ‘This isn’t a mistake’, he thinks. He wants to think. There’s nothing for him here, nothing that can fix him. He’s going back to New York City, he’ll find an apartment, he’ll go to work, thats all. At this point, he doubts he’ll fall in love again. Richie might. Richie will, he likes to think. Someone better than he is. Someone who can give Richie what he deserves.

Richie told him about Connor. All the things he did, all the horrible words he said. Eddie hated it. He only wishes he could be with Richie for that long, Connor just wasted it. Sometimes he would wonder if Connor regrets it (or if he could make Connor regret it) and wondered if that would happen to him. When he leaves, would he regret it? If he was being selfish, probably. But he was doing this for Richie. This would be good for him. This is how you fix things.

“I’m going to do it,” he whispers, “I don’t care if you don’t think this is a good idea, sometimes I don’t think it is. But thats just me wanting to make things worse. I’m going.”

The tears were bursting out now, but Mike and Bill didn’t move (as much as it hurt them to do so.) “You c-can change y-your mind, Eddie. Y-you can change. I th-think you already have,” Bill says softly.

Eddie just sits there, his breathing is still mostly still steady. People always said that, that you could change. And most people can. He knows he can. But the risk of hurting someone while still just trying to change. That in-between point where your still figuring out what and how to change from the way you were before to the way you want to be. There is always a risk. Nothing is ever easy. He learned that.

Richie is someone he didn’t want to hurt. He’s gone through being hurt before, and its effects were pretty clear. Eddie could do that, Eddie probably will. This was inescapable. If he couldn’t hold himself back then, how would he do it now? With the ‘power of love’? Love exists he’s sure of that, but what would it be able to do? What would it be able to fix?

When Eddie’s in tears, all his anger goes away. All of the fire inside of him leaves. All there is the pain it has left. “I wish I thought the same as you, Bill,” he weakly laughed.

Bill and Mike didn’t protest anymore, knowing it would be useless. Eddie’s going to leave Los Angeles on Saturday, and there’s no stopping him. They wonder if there ever was a way to. But they doubt it.

#reddie #reddie fic #it #it chap one #it chap two #remembering sunday + the book ninja au #*evil laughter*

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danfanciesphil · 5 years

Note

Bodyguard au rn miss 💋💋

hey anyone that wanted me to write the bodyguard au inspired by this picture of phil, here’s what i got for u xoxo

On Thursdays, their busiest nights, the club offers two for one drinks for anyone who gets there before twelve, meaning the line outside the door often snakes all the way down to the pier. It’s gotten warmer over the last month, so Phil no longer has to feel as guilty about the hoards of people shivering in their skimpy outfits for hours in the freezing seaside air, but it’s still not fun being the guy who has to make them all wait. Strict club rules though - no more than fifteen people to be let in at once, staggered in five minute intervals.

A few people are trying to engage Phil in chatter, but he remains stoic and silent, arms folded just below the stitching on his tight black t-shirt that reads ‘Try It Mate’. The people at the front of the queue, a girl in tattered tights and a birthday sash flanked by two equally bimbo-ish friends, are finding this t-shirt hilarious, and keep yelling this at him, as if they actually think he can’t hear them standing two feet away. He’s had a lot of practice at ignoring drunken screeching though, so he just stares at the roiling sea in the distance, fast-forwarding his brain a few hours, to when he can relax in his bed, eat leftover pizza and play some video game he could complete blindfolded.

Billy, the other bouncer working tonight, taps Phil discreetly on the arm - the signal that enough time has passed to let some more people in. With a quiet sigh, Phil turns and unhooks the rope separating him from the drunk girls, and inclines his head to let them through. As they stumble inside the door, flashing their passports and driver’s licences, Billy makes a disapproving face. Phil knows that some bouncers would label the girls as ‘TDTD’ (too drunk to dance), and not let them inside, but Phil can’t be bothered to go through that whole charade with them. They look the sort that would kick off, and hold up the queue even more. They’re straight, probably, out on a girls night for the sash-girl’s birthday, and fancy trying out a gay club just to be daring. It pisses Phil off, and if he were more like Billy, weathered by years of the job and willing to take no nonsense, he might be more inclined to refuse them entry.

But it’s too late now, they’re already inside, likely ordering prosecco at a bar that serves mostly jagerbombs and cheap imitation cosmos, then clambering up on the podiums with the professional dancers and drag queens to show off for their Instagram feed. Billy nudges him in the side, and Phil realises he’s still watching the entrance where the girls disappeared, and not focusing on the queue. He turns quickly to the next person - tall, skinny, dressed in a crop top that looks like it’s made for a doll, a thin, satin, pink and white bomber jacket, and a pair of denim shorts so tiny that they barely begin to cover the person’s ass. The highlight of the ensemble is the lilac wig that cascades in loose curls down to waist-level, complete with a thick fringe that hangs down over whoever’s eyes are hiding behind it.

Phil takes one look at this joker and has half a mind to turn them away without even speaking to them, but a skinny arm reaches up to offer an ID, so Phil sighs and takes it even though every one of his spidey-senses is tingling. It’s a green driver’s permit, not even a full license; the date printed would make the owner twenty-one. Phil gives the lanky figure in front of him another brief once-over - no way are they a day over eighteen, and that’s pushing it. His eyes flick to the name: Daniel James Howell. There’s a photo too of course, of an attractive, far more masculine-presenting, clean-cut young adult with a slight side-fringe. The lilac-haired beauty in front of Phil does not, in his opinion, match this general look. Still, he supposes it’s his job to make sure.

“What’s your name?” Phil asks, starting off easy so he doesn’t humiliate the kid.

“I guess you could call me Dan, most of the time,” lilac-hair says in an unexpectedly sure, confident voice; Phil can’t be sure whether the tremor he can hear is in from cold or from their nerves about being caught.

“Don’t sound very sure about that.”

They get a lot of this kind of thing. Young, nervous gay guys - it’s mostly guys - sneaking out to come for their first gay club experience, usually dressed up in their mum or sister’s clothes, disguised but still scared shitless that someone will clock them and they’ll be forced prematurely out of the closet. This kid is likely still in school, desperate to find a place he can be himself - unfortunately, the law is the law, and he’ll just have to come back when he’s old enough to have a real ID.

“Think I don’t know my own name?” the kid asks. “Listen, from nine to five, my name’s Dan Howell. But I’m not going by Dan tonight, get me?”

The irritation in this person’s voice makes Phil pause. Normally, a bad attitude like this would be enough of a deterrent that they’d risk getting turned away, but if anything, on lilac-hair the attitude is just confusing. What does he have to be irritated about? He’s got no gaggle of friends with him, nor does he appear to be in a hurry. Phil’s just trying to do his job - if this person is underage, they must’ve known this might happen.

He studies the ID again, noting that for a fake it’s very convincing. He turns to flash the small green card at Billy, who frowns at it, then shrugs in a ‘looks real to me’ way. Phil’s gaze drifts back to lilac-hair and asks, “what’s your star sign?”

A tiny smile spreads over thin, glossed pink lips. “Is that the best you can come up with?”

Absurdly, Phil feels himself grow warm with embarrassment. It makes no sense - he’s been flirted with hundreds of times working here and it’s never so much as rattled him before. He shrugs it off, trying to appear unamused. “I’m not flirting with you, I’m trying to see if you’re fucking about with me. Might wanna play along, sunshine.”

The pink lips part to let out a sigh of frustration. “I’m a gemini. Wanna know my bra size too?”

The dates on the ID work; Phil long ago learned the correct dates for the star signs for this exact reason. He ignores the snarky follow up question, which is good of him. “Can you lift your wig, please?”

Lilac-hair hesitates, then flicks the long locks falling by their ears back over each shoulder, revealing a lot of pale skin and sharp, jutting collarbones. Phil averts his eyes quickly - if this person is underage, he can’t be staring inappropriately. Not that he should be doing that with any customers that are legal either.

“Not like that,” Phil says, brusquely, “I can’t see your eyes.”

Lilac-hair lifts their head, chin jutting out, and behind the unbrushed lilac strands, Phil can almost make out two dark, almond-shaped eyes staring back at him. Phil can’t help an amused smile forcing its way out, born from the kid’s stubborn defiance. This person is not about to let Phil off easily, if they are lying about their age.

So, mostly to speed things along, Phil reaches out a hand - very much without thinking - and pushes the purple fringe back. The kid’s eyes are round and startled, which is fair enough, as Phil hadn’t even known he was going to make such a bold move until he’d already done it. This is far from protocol, probably, touching the customers unless they’re being belligerent and require forcible removal. But he’s too far in now, holding the handful of acrylic hair out of this person’s face. And yep, it’s at once completely obvious that he is, in fact, the same person as the man in the ID photo - no question about it.

The ID is, apparently, real. Lilac hair is twenty-one years of age, and Phil’s just got to accept it. Not a kid at all. He releases the fringe, and lilac-hair blinks as it falls back into their eyes.

“Satisfied?” Lilac hair huffs, straightening the fringe with their fingers.

“In you go,” is all Phil replies, a little gruffly because he knows he’d been wrong to prematurely assume this person was trying to break the law from appearance alone. He hates that his own prejudice can sometimes leak through when assessing people in this job, though he tries his hardest to be totally impartial. He hands ‘Dan’ their ID back and lets them through the rope. Lilac-hair takes their time about going through, pulling the wig back around his shoulders, then swaying their hips as they swan by. Despite knowing he shouldn’t, Phil’s eyes fall to the curve of lilac’s ass, peeking through the hotpants as they head to the door. Phil never wears wigs, but he sees a lot of people in them working here, and long ago learned the difference between a cheap ‘party city’ wig, and an expensive one. The one lilac is wearing is definitely on the cheaper end of the scale, but it’s gorgeous in its tackiness, like the person inside it knows that the pastel colour is exactly their shade. The plastic hair falls in a great tumble down a tapered back, bouncing just above the waistband of those tiny shorts. The sight is unforgettable, Phil can already feel it burning into his retinas, to be replayed in the dark, when he’s alone.

Billy clears his throat then, breaking Phil out of his trance. He rips his eyes away, sheepishly, turning to Billy. “Not a good idea to put your hands on ‘em,” Billy reminds him in his low, rough voice. “Some of ‘em get shirty about it.”

Phil nods, glad of the darkness hiding his flush, and turns to the next set of people in the queue.

At around half one, Phil signals to Billy that he needs to take a piss. The queue is long gone by now, and they’ve moved into the second half of their shift, which is watching the smoking area for people trying to do drugs, and kicking people to the kerb if they get too drunk. There haven’t been too many of either instances this evening, so Phil feels pretty safe about leaving Billy alone for five minutes. He heads inside, scooting behind the bar to get across to the toilets so that he doesn’t have to barge through the crowds on the dancefloor. The bartenders all nod at him as he passes, some exchanging harried looks with him because it’s rammed in here, and they all spent the first few hours of the night making two of every drinks order.

In the unisex bathroom, Phil pees quickly then washes his hands; he notices a few people scarpering from cubicles at the sight of him, but doesn’t bother try and catch them. They’re either doing drugs or having sex, and either one is moronic to do in a bathroom stall if you ask him. He does do a quick scout of the cubicles before he leaves, knocking on doors and saying stern things in the hopes of scaring them into sense for a bit.

It’ll only work for a while - once they know he’s out of sight they’ll be back at it again, but there’s not much he can do about it. They check likely suspects for pills and powders on the way in, and confiscate a fair amount, but Phil’s not dumb and knows there’s a hundred ways they could be hiding it.

It’s as he gets to the bar again that Phil notices the swirling lights washing over a familiar waterfall of lilac, in front of the bar waiting to be served. There’s a guy next to lilac hair, obnoxiously crowding them in a way that Phil is all too familiar with. The guy has a wifebeater on with the word ‘woof’ scrawled across the chest. He’s also wearing a snapback indoors. Both of these are major red flags for Phil, who has seen and kicked out a lot of classic douchebags in his time.

He pauses, waiting to see the scene unfold. The bartenders are swamped with orders from the hoard of people crammed up against the bar - lilac has been pushed right to the edge with woof-man. Unless he’s willing to give up his place in the makeshift queue, he won’t be able to escape unwanted advances. Phil waits, certain that woof is seconds away from making his pig-headed move. He doesn’t have to wait long.

Woof-man leans in and whispers something into the folds of the lilac wig. Whatever is said makes lilac recoil in disgust. To stop him moving away, woof-man reaches out and grabs lilac-hair by the outer hip, his meaty hand cupping the whole of his right ass-cheek, then tugs him in sharply. Already Phil is moving towards them at the sight of this, and that’s when woof-man squeezes his fistful of flesh, apparently quite hard, because in the next second, lilac is calmly reaching between two people to grab a leftover beer on the bar, and promptly upending it over woof’s head. The guy roars, half-drowned by the loud music, but audible enough that the near vicinity of people turn to see. Woof pulls off his snapback and shakes it out, furious; lilac flinches as the droplets of beer spray at him, but doesn’t try to run away. Phil reaches them then, alarm pumping through him to the beat of a Tove Lo song, and promptly inserts himself between the two, his back to lilac, one hand on woof’s chest.

“Oi, that’s enough,” Phil barks in his usual ‘bouncer voice’.

“It’s him not me!” Woof insists, as Phil knew he would. “That little fucker chucked a beer on me!”

“Out of nowhere, was it?” Phil’s already done with this dickhead. “I saw you grab ‘em, so don’t even try it. Far as I’m concerned, you deserve the beer bath.”

Woof’s face flushes red in fury. “Oh, get lost, you wanker. Look at ‘im. Boys don’t dress like that to be treated like Royalty, mate. He fuckin’ wants it.”

A white hot, blinding rage pierces Phil right through the chest. Something primal awakens in him, picturing lilac’s sweet, pretty features as he lifted the fringe from their eyes. “Right,” Phil growls through clenched teeth, “out.”

“What?!” Woof is practically frothing at the mouth. “You can’t do that!”

“I bloody well can mate,” Phil says; he’s hoping that woof will listen to him, as he’s seconds away from throwing a punch, “I’m the bouncer. Out. We don’t want your sort in here.”

The guy scoffs, squaring up, but he’s wobbly, obviously tipsy, and Phil just has to take one sombre, utterly unfazed step towards him, shoulders drawn up to elevate their height difference, and the guy sinks backwards. Phil loves watching the recalculating whirr of their slowly ticking, moronic brains.

“Whatever,” the guy spits, sending a dirty look over Phil’s shoulder, “this place is shite anyway.”

Thankfully, he turns, stalking away, and Phil watches long enough to make sure he heads for the door. Once he’s out of sight, Phil turns, somewhat unsurely, back to lilac, who is staring at Phil, the fringe parted into two curtains that split in curves across a smooth forehead. It’s nice to see those eyes again; they shouldn’t be hidden, Phil thinks..

“Thanks,” lilac says. “But I could’ve handled it.”

“No trouble,” Phil replies, chuckling at lilac’s continued defiance, “‘s what I’m here for. You ok?”

Lilac nods contemplatively, those brown eyes flicking over Phil’s face, head tilted. He’s wearing makeup, Phil notices. Something sparkly wiped across his eyelids and cheeks. Pink lipgloss. Maybe mascara too. Phil feels a curl of something he hasn’t felt for a long time, twisting and writhing like a worm in his gut. He squashes it down, embarrassed by his attraction to such an obvious display of faux-feminine allure. Such a cliche, lusting after the pretty boys, or not-boys perhaps, considering what ‘Dan’ had said outside.

“Bet you get that problem a lot,” Phil says, not thinking. He only realises how much like a come-on it sounds when it’s too late.

Lilac’s eyebrow quirks, and the corner of his mouth twitches up in a surprised smile. “You sure you’re not flirting with me?”

The blush whips into Phil’s cheeks so fast it nearly unstables him. He’s suddenly very aware of the intense effect this person seems to be having on him, just due to their proximity. Sure, beneath the overpowering performance of that wig lies an extraordinarily pretty human, but Phil daily encounters lots of beautiful people in this job. Gay club patrons tend to go ham on the glitz and glamour.

It’s just something about lilac, in their skimpy clothes that look like they were stitched out of a teenage girl’s bedroom curtains, and the cheap synthetic that somehow transforms the outfit into something bewitching. The makeup is done imperfectly, the sparkly blue varnish on their nails is half bitten off. But there’s no denying the effect lilac has, and seems to know they have, judging by the flirtatious smile being aimed his way.

“Of course not,” Phil says anyway, bristling. He averts his eyes; lilac’s stare is lasering right through him. “I work here.”

“Me too,” lilac replies, one bony shoulder shrugging up. Fingers come up to tuck a strand of wig behind an ear, revealing a glinting diamond stud, big and gaudy, in one lobe. “As of about ten minutes ago.”

Phil’s half sure he’s misheard, perhaps due to dizzying effect this person seems to be having on him, as if lilac’s fingers are plucking at every thread stitching him together, unravelling him bit by bit.

“What?”

“They’ve taken me on. Probationary only for now, but I’ll convince them soon enough,” lilac says, then finally catches the eye of Melissa, their head bartender. Lilac mouths ‘sambucca’ at her, then holds up two fingers; she nods, glancing at Phil as if to say ‘did you really let this child in through the front door?’. “I do drag,” lilac says, teeth and tongue teasing out the word. “Or a kind of drag, I guess.”

“Oh,” Phil says, dumbed. He’s not sure what a ‘kind of’ drag could mean, but there’s no doubt that it’s an intriguing thought. “Right.”

Under normal circumstances, Phil would find it more than suspicious that anyone in a cheap wig and very basic outfit, someone barely manage to squeeze past the bouncers in here tonight due to their youthful appearance, could have somehow secured a highly coveted spot amongst some of the best drag acts in Brighton. This club is known for its regular, popular drag performances, happening on Fridays and Saturdays. Phil hadn’t even known the manager was looking for new talent - usually they hold auditions and have a long selection process, so the idea that someone would be able to walk in off the street and find work is almost unfathomable.

But these circumstances aren’t normal. Lilac is not just another drag act, Phil can sense it. If they’re able to hypnotise Phil, snatch him up body and soul with just a flutter of lashes and a few coy smiles, it’s almost terrifying to think what lilac could do to a whole room of people.

“I’m very good,” lilac says then around a knowing smile, so confident that Phil just nods in total acceptance.

Melissa pushes two shot glasses across the bar towards them, then shouts that it’ll be six pounds. Lilac starts digging into some non-existent pocket in those shorts; to stop himself staring, Phil cups a hand around his mouth and shouts to Melissa, “put it on my tab.”

Lilac’s eyes flick up to him through a haze of pastel. “Thanks,” is the response, before they pick up the shots and down both of them one after the other. Phil blinks, chastened. Of course he wasn’t certain that this jewel of a person was attempting to by him a drink, especially as they know Phil is working, but even so… it had sort of looked that way for a minute. Lilac flicks their lashes about, bored, then lands a chocolate gaze back on Phil. “Guess I’ll see you around, then.”

Lilac pushes off the bar, already headed into the midst of the throng. The sight of the lilac covered back retreating is almost unbearable. Phil’s arm shoots out before he can stop it, catching lilac’s arm. Lilac snatches it away quickly, probably way too used to being grabbed at, and Phil feels slimy, holds his hands up in a show of surrender. Lilac has turned on the spot, is staring at him expectantly, warily.

There’s no in point in asking Phil why he’d felt the urge to halt this person’s exit, because he has no idea. He just needed one last, proper, good look at those beautiful, beguiling features before he had to bid farewell for an indefinite amount of time.

“Well?” lilac asks, though because of the music, Phil can only tell what they’d said by how those pink lips shaped the word.

“What’s your name?” Phil asks, for lack of anything better. Anything to prolong the inevitable parting of ways. “Your drag name,” Phil clarifies, hoping it’s the right question.

It seems to make lilac smile, if only slightly. They shift their weight onto one foot, hip jutting out to the side. A gauze of blue passes diagonally over their face, highlighting the gleam in their eyes.

“O-livia Truth,” he says slowly, enunciating each syllable. “I start on Friday. Blow me a kiss from the crowd.” Then, with a spin on a pink stiletto, they’re gone.

#phan #phanfic #bodyguard!phil #dragqueen!dan #gay club #prompts #anon #ellen answers #bonus points if u understand dans drag name

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gayboy9904-blog · 5 years

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Red Leaf Clover December 19th, 2009, My mom thinks it's a good idea to “write my emotions down on paper.” I think she’s full of crap but it's better than telling her about them. I have therapy every week on Tuesday where all I have to do is sit and talk about “how I feel,“ or “how my day was,” and other stuff she probably does not care about unless she gets paid. My job is better - I still hate my boss - but other than that I get paid five more dollars an hour so that's good. I have depression, anxiety, and signs of being suicidal so whenever she can my mom checks up on me saying “you okay?” or “wanna snack?” I’m tired of people asking me how my day was or if I’m okay. I just want to be normal. December 23rd, 2009, Today is my birthday, I’m fifteen today and as always I hate today. My dad was caught selling drugs and was sent to prison for about 20 years and I just played video games and ate cake. An hour of playing Grand Theft Auto 4 and eating cake someone knocked on my door, it was three hard knocks like they ran all the way here. “Hello is this Rich’s house?” The boy’s voice had a sweet flavour to it, it was strange. “Yeah who is it?” I said hoping they left. “Can I come it?” He said with passion. “Sure?” I said as the door opened, and the boy was... I don’t know, he was something. “So why are you here?” I asked as he tried to get comfortable on my couch. “I wanted to come down and say hi, and ask if you wanted to be friends .” confused I keep moving in my seat feeling a little uneasy aground him but not in a bad way.”sure” I say “yeah” trying not to look happy about it. he sits next to me and for some reason…….my heart start picking up speed….my face was burning and I was nervous talking to him, so I put in mortal kombat 9 and play it with him so we don’t talk about anything but the game. By 15 minutes of me beating him to a pulp in the game he says he has to go, “sorry man I gotta go me and my mom just moved here so we got some stuff to unpack.” he makes a smile which makes me smile, and then…….my heart starts to speed up again. He walks out the door and I watch him disappear into the night like a plane disappears into the clouds when it gets off the ground. My mom walks in and says “how was your birthday?” I look at her and say “it was alright.” and then she leaves the room, but that boy…...I never felt like that's before around…...anyone……..he’s cute…….I like him. January 15th, 2010, It's really early and I’m making my mom breakfast, I finish to see the time it’s 7:30 am I put my backpack on and shoes and leave a note to tell my mom that I made her breakfast and leaves to go to school. I take my bike and ride it to school, than out of nowhere I see him…...I’m so focused on him I crash into a tree and scratch my leg, he hears the noise and runs to see if I’m okay. “Are you okay?” he says worried “yeah i’m fine.” ~no I’m not~“I’m gonna go to school want to walk with me?” his hair white hair blows in the cold air “yes” ~I would love to being honest~ “ how’s your day?” he says “it’s okay” ~better now~ where walking and all I do is look at him sometimes look to where i’m walking so I won’t die but I like looking at him. Where at the school and he’s asking me something but I can’t hear what he’s saying I just see his breathing and say yes. “Perfect see you at your house after school.” he walks away, I walk in to my classes and work on tests and assignments but….all I can really think about is him sometimes the teachers would tell me to pay attention and shouting. “Mr. clover please pay attention!” I zoom up “yes sir.” he nodes his head as he….falls asleep. As I walk out of the school he walks behind me and screams in my ear. “HELLO BRO!” it felt like it busted my ear drums but no matter what his voice was calming, “sup” he smiles a pretty smile “you okay?” I ask about to laugh but holding it in. “I have army of two for you” my face lights up as I grab the game from his hands screaming “ OH MY GOD THIS GAME IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES I HAVEN’T PLAYED IT IN 3 YEARS!!!!” he just starts laughing and walks ahead “hey” he turns back at me “yeah?” “What’s your name?” he turns and says “my name is ghost” I ask why he’s named ghost he replies “it’s just a name I gave myself.” and he walks away disappearing once again. January 29th, 2010, “How are you Richard?” Mis.Ruby says I say good and she asked about my month and I say “pretty good, better than last.” she smiles and says good than I say “my birthday was….better.” Mis.Ruby looks at me with a face that says explain, “This kid…...came to my house and played video games with me.” I say face turning red “boy or girl?” I say boy while my face feels like it’s on fire. She smiles and writes it down, than erasses it. “That's good.” she says with a smile “what about your thoughts?” my face stops burning as soon as she said that. “I have…..done it…..” she puts her notebook down and says to me. “Look if you keep doing this I’m gonna have to turn you in.” I look up at her and basically scream “NO!!!” I pull my arms to my chest and tear up. “I’m sorry but I have to but this is the last chance to stop this if not its the 3 moths to a year in green waters psychic housing I’m sorry.” I look at her and say okay i’ll try and leave, before I could go she gives me a button and a drink “you're a good kid I known you can do this.” I open the bottle of coke and take a sip while walking to my mom’s car, I get in and my mom looks at me with a concerned face. “Let me see?” I pull up my sleeves and red marks up and down my arm shine off my pale skin. “Get out..” my mom says about to cry. “What?” I say with confusion “GET OUT OF MY CAR NOW!” I step out of the car rolling down my sleeves and my mom’s car speeds away. February 2nd, 2010 I’ve walked inside to see my mom on the floor….drunk , “mom?” she pops up with a look of disgust, “what do YOU want?” she looks at a half empty bottle of beer next to my feet, “nothing.” I leave the room to go to bed. The next morning I wake up too the smell of bacon, I put on my jacket because I can’t find a shirt and walk down stairs. “You want toast?” my mom tries to smile and not cry, “I’m sorry rich, is there anything I can do for you?” I look at her trying not to yell at her for what she did yesterday but I smile and say “you can hand me a pancake?” we both laugh. February 5th, 2010 Ghost pushes me to join a club, to be honest the only reason why I’m doing this is to get away from my mom and to be with ghost. “Hey, you okay?” he asked me and I jump “ye..yeah I’m fine.” he looks at me with his frozen blue eyes and my heart melts ( he just doesn't know it) he walked in a room and pointed to a bunch of people that I’ve seen in the hallways but never talked to. “This is max, philip, and jessie.” he smiles at me and yells “WELCOME TO THE SUPERNATURAL CLUB!!” I say hi like the anti-social person I am and for the rest of the day I just sit there and watch people and they stare at me, than ghost says “you know what the club has a meeting tomorrow wanna come?” his face looks concerned for a bit then he smiles really quickly too cover up he’s sad I know because I do it. “Okay, I guess I can come.” he smiles and pull me to the group and we just start talking about ghost sightings, legunds, and huntings and for the first time in a while….I was happy and if never meet ghost than my life would be worse. After the meeting me a ghost raced to my house and ghost won, “hey what are you doing tomorrow?” he asks me and I start to feel...warm “uhhh a movie?” his face looks surprised and turns red a little “like a date?” my face burns “m...maybe” he stepped closer to me with a smile “ you're gay?” my face burns and I step a little closer “I...I guess?” he puts his hand on my face and steps closer to me “well than why not.” ~his hand is so warm~ he comes closer to my face kissing me. My face melts off, “did I invade your personal space?” I look at him smirking, “shut up cute boy.” March 1st, 2010, I’ve been sleeping a ghost’s house for the passed month, it’s way better than at my mom’s because I have a real reason to wake up in the morning. He wake me up with a huge smile. “How was your sleep?” he says smile growing wider “really good cute boy” I say as he blushes and turns to get some clothes to wear down stairs. “You looked peaceful, which is cute because you always look on edge.” he says as he puts on pants and a shirt. “Yeah I guess?” I replay as I set up and get to the bathroom to take my meds and make sure that ghost doesn’t see me, after I get out and turn on ghosts ps3 and play fear than I put on a hoodie and go too my house too get some more clothes. As I walk in I see over 5 beer bottles on the floor and a note on the kitchen table and read it. “Dear waste of space of a son, your so pathetic you think that EVERYONE hates you well they do most of all I HATE YOU goodbye you, From no longer your mother.” I crumble the paper up and throw it outside because I left the door open, and then break a beer bottle. At first I just picked up the piece of glass, then i rolled up my sleeve and added a new mark……..”rich?” I look remembering that the door is open seeing ghost walk back and run, I run after him pulling my sleeve down but his house is an hour away from mine and by the time I got there the police was there with my therapist. “Ghost?” I say as my face is overcome with tears and so is ghost. “Let’s go Richard.” I start to run and before I could get too the corner the police catch me. “NO PLEASE I DON’T WANT TO GO!!!!!” the tranklize me and as my world got black ghost ran up to me and said with his sweet sounding voice “sorry ri…” I blacked out. March 2nd, 2010, “How are you feeling?” mis.ruby asks, “you haven’t talked to anyone, it’s worrying me.” ~of course I’m not okay my boyfriend turned me in and my mom left me on top of that I’m in a mental hospital, so yeah I’m fine~ “I’m okay.” she puts her hand on my shoulder as if trying to say she cares about me. “ no you're not….you need help.” I say nothing “that's all for today Richard goodbye.” the two staff workers take me back to the cafeteria and out ide the window of the waiting room for guests I see him….standing there with a smile, the staff worker says go outside he’ll be waiting. I walk outside and he’s standing there. “Hey ho….” I hug him as soon as he starts talking, “I’m so so so sorry please don’t hate me…….” he pats my back and I here is heart race, “i don’t” I start crying and he hugs me tighter. “Me and my mom are gonna to take care of you from now on oaky?” I say that's fine and we watch the sun set. “My name is ross by the way...my real mane.” I smile “last name?” he blushes “my full name is ross redleaf.” I hug him “I like it ross.” he puts his hand on my head. “But at school you call me ghost okay?” I laugh “okay ghost, and my full name is Richard clover.” he starts to laugh and say “ put our last names together you get red leaf clover.” I hug him and say with a smile that I can only do in that moment with him alone. “Love you cute boy.”

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kulvefaggoth · 5 years

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HI THIS IS YOUR LOCAL GARBAGE GAY BOY AND HE WANTS TO VENT ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS

A couple of days ago i had an enligtening talk about my favorite hot garbage series with a mutual and i kind of ended up realizing i had a lot of pent up stuff about it that i never really let out

While i did vent a little already i feel like i need to put this really out of my head because it’s been consuming me in a way. And since this site is designed for just screaming random stuff into the void i wanna take advantage of that for once

Now first and foremost this is meant as a very personal thing. This is not an elaborate critique or a well thought work. This is a vent and i want this to be read as a vent by a gay with a lot of feelings about video games. ESPECIALLY about Kingdom Hearts and some stuff about KH3.

Now let’s get to the meat of this course of mind screaming

I’ve been into Kingdom Hearts for a very long time. The first game i played was Kingdom Hearts II (the original KH was kinda hard to find here for some reason) circa 2005/2006. Bear in mind i had no idead what KH was. Game advertisement wasn’t (and still kind of isn’t) a big thing here in Brasil specially if you were a poor kid like me. Hell consoles were pretty inacessible to most of the people i was close with and me and other 2 kids must’ve had a PS2 in the same time frame. The main way you would know about new or cool games was through word of mouth or recognizing brands like Castlevania and Mega Man.

But i was always kind of a freaky little avant-garde child which meant i ended up having a very different taste from most of the people around me. I had like 1 other friend who had actually played a Final Fantasy around let alone something like Shin Megami Tensei for an exemple which i also didn’t even knew was a thing. And i’ve always tried to find something new. Something that gave me some new experience. I’ve ended up playing a lot of more niche games like Drakengard and the Atelier Iris games (god i still love 2 and 3 a lot) and it was this mindset that eventually led me into the game that had a bunch of random anime kids and disney characters in it’s cover.

To say that i was confused by KH2 is an understatement. I knew absolutelly nothing about the previous games. Who is this “Sora”? Who was the red haired man? Why the fuck am i fighting with a giant key? Again what the hell is up with the Disney characters? Also bear in mind i must’ve been 9/10 yo brazillian kid whose entire english vocabulary came from video games and a couple of songs. Some stuff wasn’t even the plot getting dense it was just me not getting the actual language.

And yet it’s also an understatement to say the i fell very deeply in love with that weird little game. The combat was great. The plot had SO MUCH DRAMA and i knew only about 1/3 of what was happening at any given time. Keyblades where fun and ridiculous. Demyx was a bitch.

As soon as i’ve finished KH2 for the first time i used what little internet i had back then to learn more. I found out there was a game for the easy emulated GBA. It kind of sucked but it was more Kingdom Hearts. Being unable to locate a copy of KH1 for a while i did the only thing i could actually do: i’ve played and replayed KH2 to exaustion. I did most of the stuff except a couple of the minigames and gummy routes because they where boring. The feeling of learning how to fight against Sephiroth, mastering his moves and eventually being able to beat him with a Kingdom Key in proud was a big moment for me. Beating all the Hades cups felt great.

About a year later i was able to get a copy of KH1 and by this time Re:CoM was out so i got that too. Played both of them throughly even thought KH1 clumsy mechanics kick my ass to this day probably.

Then another year passes i hear two new games where coming out... to consoles i didn’t own and honestly i couldn’t justify the cost of to my parents. I was pretty bummed but still i kept getting invested. Hell i was already balls deep into this series and only dreamed of how it would take off in the future. I even remember kind of writing a “script” for a sequel that i tried to make with two other randoms in RPG Maker. Never went anywhere and i know in my heart it sucked but still. That was how into this i was. The prerelease hype for Days was killing me even. Member XIV? How?

Also side note: to my edgy ass 12/13 year old self the idea of playing as Organizattion XIII was literally a dream.

Days came out and if you where like me in the good old days of youtube videos that had like 5 minutes at max then you know that video game let’s play were almost impossible to do. I had to get a LOT of info from second hand about what actually happened in Days. Then i ended up getting a “decent” pc and was able to emulate it with absolute WORST frame rate. Still it worked and i was able to know what was happening.

But BBS was a completly separate beast. PSP emulation was basically non-existant when it came out so it actually took me a couple of years to actually play it. I had a friend that had a PSP (and that to this day i feel only got a PSP because i kept raving about it having both a KH game and a Final Fantasy fighting game on it because he was 100% that little shit but that is completly besides any point) and of course he couldn’t lend me because it was pretty expensive around here and that’s a very useless tangent.

Anyway time passes as it must and just as Sora fell deeper and deeper into the realms of sleep i too fell into as much Kingdom Hearts stuff as i could. The complex theories, the AMVs (GOD the AMVs), the plot summaries for games i didn’t play, all that good shit. So for years i’ve built within myself this... tension i shall call. The grand plot momentum that mr Nomura seemed to be building. The misterious indentities the hinted at hidden plots. The nature of stuff that seemed very vague and opaque. And as the new games where released it seemed more and more that they where building blocks into the grand prize: Kingdom Hearts 3.

Now here’s the thing. I don’t 100% agree of the narrative that we waited “13 years” for KH3. I think if you where actually a fan of the series back then then each game in it’s own way seemed to be it’s own event. With that i want to say the while we ALL waited for KH3 for me at least it seemed it needed time to build up.

Now here’s the thing. Between BBS and DDD being both in consoles i didn’t own and me getting an Xbox 360 (PS3 prices where absolutelly INSANE here) i seemed to drift a bit away from KH. While before i waited for new game releases with baited breath i now found myself very blasé about DDD. I was getting used to it i guess. Also high school came and a lot of stuff started changing. KH felt like a bit too connected to my childhood too i guess. I was still a fan and still loved it to death but KH ended fading away a little for me even if it lighted a fire in me when people talked about it. This must’ve been around 2010.

I think it wasn’t until KH3 was formally announced that it all came back to me. The drive to find and consume and engage with as much of KH lore and theories as possible. Also i didn’t really get into “proper social networks” as a whole until 2012/2013. Weirdo i know. By then consuming these thing was a lot easier. Internet was a lot more acessible. I could just open up a tab of a KH wiki in my phone and read away from there.

And there was this rush y’know. This thing of finally seeing a finish line. Not that actually expected or even wish for KH to end but it was KH3! The big one! And remember the tension i’ve mentioned earlier? It was always kind of present and it ended up skyrocketing during this period. I was already knowledgeable about KH but during this time i was almost a goddamn lore master. I knew the whole gig inside and out. Even the weird shit from DDD. The stuff they added to the collections just kept it going too. As did X/UX (which in my grand KH tradition i too didn’t play but i think most people feel me here).

All a big ball of complex yarn and plot and madness that would SURELLY burst with KH3. After all this time all this tension it would come. Release. Answers.

But to me that was the aspect in which KH3 failed.

Now don’t get me wrong i actually like KH3. Quite a lot. And Nomura did apparently tied up a lot of arcs. The lost are found and saved. Piss Grandpa Xehanort is dead.

But it didn’t release my tension. It didn’t burst it into the magic fireworks and ecstasy. The tension is still here. Hell the tension seems even stronger now.

And a lot of it has to with how KH3 seems to still be hiding so many fucking cards from us. Literally in one case. It was a vague feeling of unceartainty before but when i came through the Sleeping Worlds theory it just RUSHED onto me. The story doesn’t feel complete.

Now this is not the same as FFXV. I have a couple of... harsh opinions about it and it’s plot and story are front and center on the list. That story was absolutelly unfinished but not in the same way. To me it feels like Nomura just HID parts of the story. We are not getting the full picture. A lot of shit is really really REALLY weird. I’m still not over Riku’s sudden haircut.

But here’s the real gag to me. Nier: Automata gave me the same feeling the first time i played it. But then i came upon route B. And then Route C. and that’s when the TRUE game showed itself. Nier kept a lot hidden but it was hidden within itself. If you just keep playing you actually can access those hidden parts and eventually you reach your true goal. The actual ending. An ending so final that you might even like giving up your save data to help somebody else achieve it too is the only true option.

Yet KH3 has no such crowning grace. At least not for now. And that’s half the reason i made this.

KH3 feels incomplete but in a way i could really love if the game eventually completed itself. Reading the Sleeping Worlds theory i was like “omg this makes VERY much sense. but if it makes so much sense why isn’t it in the game?”. And then it clicked. DLC. It’s 100% possible the actual plot may come as DLC.

But an even darker thought crossed my mind and it’s filing me with actual rage: This is meant to be another game. This is the Powers That Be (Nomura, Disney, Square-Enix, take your pick...) unaturally extending this “Saga” beyond it’s ending point. If it does turn out that KH3 had some dream hijinks going on then it was 100% possible and BETTER to include that in the actual game. But since KH is known for having so many side games what is the harm in doing another right?

Well you harm the integrity of your plot. I know we say the plot is hot garbage but come the fuck on that is what is holding us here. Or at least it’s what is holding me for so long. Setting up another saga is absolutelly fine but breaking away for you ending like this is even worse. How? Why? The why is probably money but still.

Or maybe KH3 is just meant as that. There is no twist not weirdness. Maybe all that is by design y’know.

This is long enough already. I’m tired. I started writing this at 2:30 am. It’s about 4am now. I slept very little last night.

This is a big colletion of nothing i guess. Not even sure it helped me. Oh well.

#kh #kingdom hearts #personal #first time i tagged something as that #idk #maybe i'm just old #i'm not even gonna proof read this it know it's chock full of typos

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each-uisge-and-glashtyn · 6 years

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Tagged by the amazing @habenaria-radiata! I dunno why it wouldn’t let you properly tag me, but I still got this, thanks! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I’m gonna tag @lunalove25 and @electric-vanoogaloo specifically, and in general anyone else who wants to do it!

List 10 of your favorite ships, in no particular order. Don’t cheat by scrolling down to see the questions yet, either!

Hibiki Kuze/Yamato Hotsuin

Akira Kurusu/Goro Akechi

Laurent/Damen

Misaki Yata/Saruhiko Fushimi

Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy

Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Adrien Agreste

Tony Stark/Loki

Daisuke Niwa/Satoshi Hiwatari

Jack Frost/Pitch Black(or Kozmotis Pitchiner)

Makoto Sako/Fumi Kanno/Otome Yanagina

Questions below the cut.

All questions for copy+paste:

Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile picture/tumblr screensaver?

If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Why is 1 so important?

Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

How many times have you read/played/watched 10′s fandom?

Which ship has lasted the longest?

How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Is 4 still together?

Is 10 canon?

If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5′s ship?

Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

Do you spend hours a day going through 3′s tumblr page?

If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

My answers:

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I’m pretty sure that I started shipping Marinette and Adrien the first scene they were actually together in. And just shipped them harder in each scene after, including all the ridiculous superhero/civilian mixup-mashups lol

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Uhhhhhh......would these be my fav ships if I didn’t read fic of them? Either way, I’ve trawled through the Akira/Goro tag so many times that I’m actually caught up with all the completed works for them on a daily basis.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screensaver/profile picture/tumblr screensaver?

Not by themselves, but in a group photo, I guess? I had the whole K Project main cast as my computer background for a bit. I did look for a phone background of them a while ago, but I couldn’t find any I liked enough.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

If Tony and Loki broke up then I’d be mildly worried about the fallout on their mental and physical healths, but overall I wouldn’t be super surprised on average.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Honestly I just relate to both Hibiki and Yamato so much, and also I’m a sucker for the dynamic that they set up. Also I wanna break Yamato in the most delicious ways thank you so much radiata for letting me indulge in that through your fics

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

I mean, it’s literally a funny/serious ship. Jack brings the fun, but Pitch brings stability and seriousness when it’s needed.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Well, speaking literal canon, Laurent/Damen is the only actual canon ship so I guess by default they win, But damn if Hibiki/Yamato, Harry/Draco, and Akira/Goro can’t give them a run for their money in innuendo and implied chemistry.

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

They’re all based on growing through hardship and learning to trust each other and deep loyalty due to those so uh all of them? Like half of them were willing to die for their partners and the other half worked (or is working or will work or whatever) extremely hard to make it work so...

9. How many times have you read/played/watched 10′s fandom?

Oh god that’s Devil Survivor 2. I think by this time I’ve logged like 60 bazillion hours into DeSu2. I’ve replayed the game so many times I can recognize when people use actual lines from the game, or slight modifications of lines. I can get the true ending effortlessly. I’ve played both the original and remake, watched the anime, and read fic for it (and nearly started writing my own before realizing I had no plot beyond yay ships). In short: too many goddamn times.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

I don’t know if this is asking which has canonically lasted longest or which has lasted longest for me, so I’m gonna answer both. Laurent/Damen is the only currently canon pair, so they win canon lasted longest. Either Harry/Draco or Daisuke/Satoshi were my first real ship, so they’re my personal longest lasting.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Well, Mari and Adrien haven’t gotten together yet, but I’d like to believe that they wouldn’t quit for anything. The only thing I can see them fracturing over is if they get together before the reveal so they’re hiding Lady and Chat from each other. As soon as that’s cleared up though, they’ll be strong again.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Ooooooohhhhhhhh that’s certainly a choice. I honestly don’t know. Akira and Goro certainly are skilled and resourceful, but I don’t know how they stack up against Sato and Dai. Satoshi is literally a genius and has skills to back it up, but his stamina ain’t shit. And Daisuke has the skills and smarts to survive, but he puts himself in danger way to often to bet on. Meanwhile Akira and Goro are always fighting smart and using the most out of all their resources, as well as both being super smart and highly skilled. And this is ignoring all the canon extra shit they come with, cause that just muddies the playing field more. I honestly don’t know.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

I feel like Tony and Loki would hide their relationship from the Avengers as long as possible just to avoid having to deal with the drama lol

14. Is 4 still together?

Again, the didn’t technically get together in canon, but damn if they ever let each other go again once they do get together (which is also p much inevitable imo

15. Is 10 canon?

It is if you assume Hibiki was just too focused on saving the world to notice and the others didn’t feel like blatantly informing him. I can’t see why Makoto or Otome would tell him, and Fumi just straight up wouldn’t care if he knew or not.

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Okay so on an equalizing field of no supernatural or superhuman powers of any kind, probably not Mari and Adrien. Look I love battle couples and I have no idea who would win. I’m gonna say Laurent and Damen literally only because they’re actual adults and not baby adults or near adults and they didn’t have any powers to begin with so that’s all them babe, no boosts needed.

17. Has anyone ever tried to sabotage 5′s ship?

If Harry and Draco ever actually got their heads out of their asses and realized being obsessed with each other really was quite gay, everyone and their dogs would probs be trying to get in their way.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

All of them on my own time with no one making me, but I refuse to do it on command in order to prove anything.

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3′s tumblr page?

Oh my god look if Laurent or Damen had a tumblr I would absolutely spend years on it, but alas, the closest I can get is modern day fics that include social media

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

I’m fairly sure that all of them would end with someone dying or otherwise messy circumstances such as world war or smth other than like, Mari and Adrien cause they’re sweethearts who couldn’t hurt a fly and they’re responsible and crap. And cause they would also make very good friends even if they couldn’t be together.

#wow that's long now #radiata your answers were so great #personal

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mooosicaldreamz · 6 years

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that fan vid for Looking too closely just like punched a hole in my heart, thanks for that. Also about the stn playlist: HELL YEAH PLEASE TALK ABOUT IT!!!

you are welcome. i love heart punching. since i had two people ask me about stn’s playlist, i’m going to take this opportunity to talk about how i think taylor swift’s album reputation is deeply relevant to stn and its contents because last night i lost my fucking mind

...ready for it is obvsly a sports song and is great for like video promos. imagine footage of kara being good at basketball as this song plays. but guess what, just like stn the fic u think its gonna be about basketball but all of a sudden its about SEX AND LOVE!!!!! “in the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do” goddamn

end game “i wanna be your end game, i wanna be your first string, i wanna be your a-team” i think lena is explicitly concerned about her reputation in this fic, and i think she is also consumed with what she perceives as kara’s reputation (as a player) and REPUTATION is just a big thing for both of them. i love this fic so much i wish that i didn’t care so fucking much. “i don’t want to miss you like the other girls do” is a lena luthor lyric. get out of my house i’m crying

i did something bad remember when lena slept with kara and was like i probably shouldn’t have done that but u know what that shit was good

don’t blame me i love this song “lord save me my drug is my baby that i’ll be using for the rest of my life” shit!!! this song is a little more kara than lena, actually - you know, kara’s life is really interesting and you’ll learn more about her as lena does. but this song is very kara. its intensity and heaviness are just great. i used to think this album was bad

delicate i don’t even think i need to explain why this song is relevant, maybe but also i just want to give a shout out to this fic which also really reminds me of this song. “dark jeans in your nikes, look at you, never seen that color blue, just think of the fun things we could do” holy SHIT. its like taylor knew. she KNEW. because she’s gay. “stay here baby i don’t wanna share.” i think this song is so LONGING, which i think is where lena is working herself, unfortunately. i’m sure that will go really well for her.

look what you made me do this song isn’t crazy relevant to the fic but i think it could be another Sporting song. almost reminds me of a young kara danvers. and honestly, a young lena luthor.

so it goes... this song is about having sex. they have sex in this fic

gorgeous i LOVE this song and i think it is FOR SURE one of the most og taylor songs on this album (its almost like red and 1989 taylor had a baby god im sorry im talking so much about taylor swift) “you’re so cool i hate you so much” / “whiskey on ice, sunset and vine” / “i’m so furious at you for making me feel this way” come on. reads like ch1-ch2 of stn so hardcore to me that i think i could die. “you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room”

getaway car this song is AMAZING!!!! i mean its also about like taylor ditching calvin harris and immediately getting with her next dude but like whatever. its a good song. i love that its about a short love story like its all very sudden. “nothing good starts in a getaway car” u know

king of my heart despite the blatant heteronormativity, TAYLOR, this song is so good. “you move to me like i’m a motown beat, we rule the kingdom inside my room” i love how this album is, in this beautiful way, about finding control in very small spaces when the whole world is attempting to control you and know you and own you. its a very consistent framework. and i love how sweet this song is. “your love is a secret i’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” u know. stn.

dancing with our hands tied “i loved you in secret” is the first lyric of this song! and this song is a kara danvers song. another reference to the bedroom and home being a “sacred oasis” because taylor is consumed with keeping secrets and maintaining some measure of control in the same way that i think kara and lena would be in this situation. this whole song. just read the lyrics. i love the image and sound of the chorus “dancing with our hands tied” which implies like, they’re being hampered metaphorically, but physically the image is like, they can’t touch.

dress “they got no idea about me and you” “my hands are shaking from holding back from you” “carve your name into my bedpost, cause i don’t want you like a best friend” “everyone thinks that they know us” “only bought this dress so you could take it off”

this is why we can’t have nice things this song is irrelevant to stn. and i don’t like it.

call it what you want this song is fun but a bit boring. the mood in the music is on point but the lyrics are blah

new year’s day .......................last night i cried for about twenty minutes as i replayed this song over and over thinking about stn so like......

lol if you made it through all that thank you for putting up with this shit.

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imaginetonyandbucky · 6 years

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‘we’re on a roadtrip with some friends and we have to share a hotel room and there’s only one bed and a whole lot of sexual tension’ AU Would be nice if it was smutty. Steve and Sam totally set them up. Later Bucky and Tony realise they are both fools since they've been in love with each other since the beginning of their acquaintance.

A/N: I went way overboard on my first run at this prompt - that version is going up on AO3.

So Open Up, I’m Climbin’ In

“You know, Sam,” Tony groused, “just because Rhodey deputized you as my new best friend when he deployed doesn’t mean you have to drag me along on all your shenanigans.”

“C’mon, Tony,” Sam pled. “Just see what they have to say.”

“You hardly know these guys and you wanna get stuck driving three quarters of the way across the country with them?”

“Steve was my partner on that group project from hell in my Structural Integrity class last semester,” Sam responded. “We bonded through adversity. I kinda feel like I owe the guy.”

“But Bruce and I are at an important place in our project.” Tony knew he was making excuses, but he had a bit of an ulterior motive.

Bruce Banner, Tony’s ‘science bro’ was a pre-med major with a focus on neurobiology; it had been his idea to explore the possibility of developing an external neural interface to control an upper limb prosthetic. This would allow for less expensive prosthetics to be produced.

Bruce reached out to Tony for his programming and electronics skills, and they’d managed to talk a couple of their professors into supporting the effort. The fact that Stark Industries had made quite a large donation to the school recently certainly didn’t hurt; thanks to this act of quasi-nepotism, Tony and Bruce were able to score a private lab area and even offer compensation to their test subjects. Enter J.B. Barnes, a fellow student who was missing the lower two-thirds of his left arm due to a car accident the previous year.

[more under the cut]

Tony found himself making excuses to hang out in the lab, because Barnes was absolutely gorgeous. Long, dark hair, a strong jawline, legs that went on for days, and stunning blue-grey eyes. Sure, he had a bit of a Resting Murder Face going on, and he didn’t talk much; which was a shame, since Tony could have listened to that smoky baritone read an error log and still probably pop a boner. The day he walked in the lab to see a shirtless Barnes – Bruce was measuring his residual limb in order to start building the prosthetic – was one Tony still replayed in his mind.

So it was a hell of a shock to walk into the diner where he and Sam had agreed to meet Rogers and his friend and see a familiar face: Rogers’ pal was none other than Barnes. Apparently the two of them had known each other since they were kids and had always wanted to go see the Grand Canyon. Rogers – a shrimpy, artsy type – did most of the talking, while Tony wondered what he’d done to piss off Lady Fate lately.

“Me ‘n Buck were never much for the crazy Spring Break beach vacations, but figured this would be kind of a last hurrah before we graduate and start our careers.” Rogers explained. “Figure with another driver or two, we can actually make the trip without killing ourselves or each other. So, are you guys in?”

Tony had never done anything like this before – his family vacations had involved exotic locations and having every wish catered to – but it sounded like an adventure to him and having Barnes as a travel companion was a definite bonus. Sam was up for it as well, so they hashed out a basic route and other logistics. And just a few days later, they were piling into Rogers’ car and getting on the road.

They had to average about six hundred miles a day to get there and back within the nine and a half days they had available to them, so there wasn’t much time for sightseeing. They hit a couple of landmarks along the route – Niagara Falls and the Gateway Arch in St. Louis were the highlights on the way out, and Sam had lobbied hard to stop at the National Air Force Museum in Dayton, Ohio on the way back. But the majority of the trip was spent in the car and in close quarters.

While Tony had loaded his tablet up with movies and books, he found himself being pulled out of his shell, mostly by Sam but also by his other travel mates as they talked to pass the time. Bucky and Steve were Brooklyn boys, born and bred and Sam was happy to talk about growing up in Baltimore with his extended family.

Tony was probably the most reticent, as just about anything he said would come out sounding like he was a spoiled brat. After all, the name Stark was emblazoned on skyscrapers on both coasts, and he’d grown up in a mansion with servants at his (well, his parents’) beck and call. But he had a few innocuous anecdotes he felt comfortable sharing, and was able to hold up his end of the conversation well enough.

One bit of surprisingly pleasant news was that Barnes was both gay and single; he’d recently broken up with his boyfriend, who sounded like a real asshole. Tony knew a little something about that; after a disastrous attempt at a romantic Valentine’s Day the month before – romance and Ty Stone apparently being polar opposites – Tony had given his own boyfriend the boot.

He and Bucky – Tony had finally accepted the idea that a grown man was going by the name ‘Bucky’ – also found themselves bonding over a love of science fiction, arguing good-naturedly about the best novels by the Golden Age writers vs the New Wave and more modern writers.

Both of them had been inspired by their reading to pursue their majors - civil engineering for Bucky and mechanical engineering and computer programming for Tony.

“In fact,” Tony said, “the computer on Star Trek and Mike in The Moon is a Harsh Mistress got me interested in the idea of artificial intelligences. I’m working on something along those lines myself. Remind me to show you Dum-E when we get back.”

“You named an artificial intelligence Dummy?” Bucky laughed and shook his head. “Better let Banner have the naming rights on the rig you guys are working on.”

Tony bristled for a moment, then realized Bucky was just teasing him; apparently they’d reached that point in their burgeoning friendship. “It stands for Digital Mechanical Entity,” he explained. “He’s a robot with a learning algorithm. Has independent control of his arm and camera. I’m working on voice commands at the moment.”

“Sounds impressive. Maybe I could meet Dum-E sometime.” Bucky smiled, and Tony felt his heart skip a beat. Thankfully, Sam interrupted with the announcement of an impending pit stop, and Tony worked to regain his equilibrium.

“You’ve got a thing for Bucky, don’tcha, Tones?” Sam murmured as they stood together contemplating their junk food options. Steve and Bucky were checking out, having already restocked.

“No! Well, not really. Maybe?” Yes, the guy was practically sex on legs, and they were getting along pretty well now that they’d found they had had interests in common. However, Tony didn’t want to put that possible friendship in jeopardy by hitting on the guy and making the rest of the trip awkward. “But nothing’s gonna happen. He’s way out of my league.”

“Uh-huh.” Sam crossed his arms and looked unimpressed.

“Just drop it, Samwise. I don’t want to ruin the party.”

They made it to the Grand Canyon on Tuesday around noon and spent a few hours exploring the park, with plans to stay the night in Flagstaff before heading back home Bucky made a suggestion to visit the Lowell Observatory that evening. Tony was game, but – after exchanging a mysterious look – their companions demurred. Sam had called ahead to the hotel and booked the last two rooms, saying that they’d have the front desk hold a key for them. Tony had been sharing a room with Sam up to this point in the trip, but supposed he could keep his developing crush on Bucky under wraps for one night.

The Observatory tour was entertaining and informative; they even got to take a peek through the Pluto Discovery Telescope. As they walked back to the car, Tony reflected on how nice it was to spend time with someone who liked the same things he did. It was almost as if they’d been out on a date together or something. Not that Tony had a lot of experience with that.

The two of them stopped to grab a bite to eat on the way back to the hotel and lost track of time; it was almost eleven o’clock by the time he and Bucky got back to the hotel. The front desk clerk slid the room keycard over once they’d identified themselves. “Have a lovely evening, gentlemen. Breakfast runs until ten in the morning.”

“Son of a bitch - I bet Sam did this on purpose!” Tony fumed, looking around as he stepped in the room which contained a single king-sized bed. Quickly assessing his options, he added “Listen, I’ll grab the bedspread and curl up in the chair or something.”

“Nah, that’s okay.” Bucky replied, giving Tony an assessing look. “But why do you say this was on purpose?”

Tony felt his cheeks heating as he replied, “Sam seems to think I’ve got the hots for you.” He hadn’t intended to be quite so blunt, but the long travel days must’ve gotten to him.

Instead of laughing, or looking annoyed or disgusted, Bucky stepped right into Tony’s personal space. “Well, do ya?” His question was unexpectedly soft, and somehow hopeful.

Tony, at a loss for words, simply nodded slightly. “Good. ‘Cause the feeling’s mutual,” Bucky purred, tilting his head down to capture Tony’s lips in an exploratory kiss. His exhaustion evaporated as the kiss moved from something cautious and unsure to confident and insistent.

Tony opened his mouth eagerly to Bucky’s questing tongue, reaching out to pull him closer, to feel that magnificent chest pressing against his. Bucky threaded his fingers through Tony’s hair to hold his head at the perfect angle, deepening the kiss.

A hot rush of want ran through Tony’s veins as he realized Bucky was walking him backwards towards the bed, licking and nipping at his neck and collarbone. Tony wondered for a moment if they were jumping into the physical aspect too soon; but then again, the time they’d spent together easily equalled four or five dates, and wasn’t that usually the ‘make it or break it’ point? But despite the pounding of his pulse and the heat and press of Bucky’s hardon against his leg, Tony wanted to clarify something; make sure things didn’t go too far too fast.

“Just so you know, I wasn’t planning on getting laid on this trip, so I’m fresh out of condoms and lube.”

“Same here,” Bucky replied with a rueful grin, panting slightly. “But I can think of a coupla other things we could do. I’ve been told I give good head – wanna find out for yourself, darlin?”

Tony’s knees went weak, as much at the unexpected endearment as the offer itself. “Sure, as long as I can return the favor, sunshine.”

Bucky grinned and tugged at the waistband of Tony’s jeans. “Drop ‘em.”

Tony was eager to comply; hastily pushing the covers back to sit on the edge of the bed. He grabbed a pillow for Bucky to kneel on before stripping out of his jeans and briefs. Trembling with anticipation, Tony couldn’t hold back a moan as Bucky sank to his knees and ran his hand up Tony’s thigh.

“I figured you’d be a vocal kinda guy,” Bucky smirked. “S’always good to be appreciated.” He wrapped his hand around Tony’s cock, giving it a few firm strokes before flicking his tongue against the tip. That wrung a gasp from Tony, his hands flying out to grab blindly at Bucky’s shoulders.

“God, yes, more,” he begged, as Bucky began sucking his dick. Bucky hadn’t been exaggerating as to his skills; those plush, sinful lips and talented tongue were taking Tony apart. The brush of Bucky’s long hair against his thighs combined with the slow circles his thumb was rubbing into Tony’s hipbone just added to the sensory overload. He could feel the orgasm building in his system as Bucky bobbed up and down, taking practically all of Tony’s cock into his hot, wet mouth.

“M’ getting close, sweetheart,” Tony gasped. “Where do you want me to come?” He figured it was only polite to ask.

Bucky pulled off for a moment, squeezing the base of Tony’s cock tight. “Wanna taste ya, sugar. Suck every last drop outta you.”

The dirty talk combined with Bucky swallowing Tony to the root was his undoing; Tony came hard, his keen of pleasure probably waking the neighbors. Bucky gentled him through the aftershocks; but instead of the lassitude he’d expected after such a strong climax, Tony felt energized, hungry to give Bucky the same pleasure he’d just received.

“Allow me to join in the choir singing your praises,” Tony said, responding to Bucky’s questioning look. “How and where do you want me to go down on you, hot stuff?”

“It’s not gonna take long,” Bucky admitted. “Might as well get in bed, so’s we can fall asleep after.” He stood and shimmied out of his jeans with more grace than Tony would have expected. He paused before taking off his shirt, and gave Tony a raised eyebrow. Tony realized he was still wearing his AC/DC concert tee.

Tony skinned the shirt over his head before he could reconsider; his scars were nothing compared to what Bucky had gone through. When he caught the brief widening of his companion’s eyes, he explained. “Heart murmur. Had to repair a valve or two, no biggie.” It was easy to minimize now, a year or so after the fact. “But enough about me. Time to focus on you, sweetheart.”

Bucky finished undressing – a simple flesh-colored sock covered his stump – and stretched out on the bed, an anticipatory grin on his face. His cock was hard and throbbing; apparently he got turned on by giving head. Good to know. Tony prowled up Bucky’s body, claiming a hard, fierce kiss before moving down to nuzzle at his neck, sucking marks across Bucky’s collarbone. His hands roamed restlessly over his partner’s body, tweaking a nipple here, reaching under to grab a handful of ass there, doing any and everything that seemed to drive Bucky even further into the throes of passion.

Bucky wasn’t exactly a quiet bedmate either; an almost continuous stream of gasps and moans pushing from his lips as he rutted shamelessly against Tony, leaving smears of precome on their skin. “C’mon, darlin,” he begged, “need to feel your mouth on my dick. Show me just what kind of a cocksucker you are.”

Bucky was both longer and thicker than what Tony was used to – which, admittedly, was only Ty, and one anonymous mutual handjob outside a club late one night – , but ‘adapt and overcome’ wasn’t Tony’s motto for nothing. He wrapped his fingers tightly around the base of Bucky’s cock, stroking up and down as he licked and sucked, swirling his tongue around the tip, alternating hollowing out his cheeks and pressing Bucky’s cock hard against the roof of his mouth.

Bucky touched the back of Tony’s head. “Can I? Promise I won’t push or hold ya down or nothin’.” Tony hummed his assent, and Bucky carded his fingers through Tony’s hair as he continued bobbing up and down. “Wanna come down your throat, sugar. Is that okay?”

Tony responded by going as deep as he could, then coming back up with a grin. “Toldja I’d return the favor.” He took a breath, then swallowed down as much of Bucky’s cock as he could, fighting his gag reflex. Bucky was true to his word; even as he came; shaking and shuddering with a low, staccato moan, he didn’t hold Tony down or push him even deeper. Tony looked up to see a sleepy, satisfied expression on Bucky’s face as he murmured “C’mere, darlin’.”

“So, in all that paperwork I filled out for your project,” Bucky drawled, as they got settled into a comfortable, spooning position, “I don’t recall nothing about a ban on fraternization. Is that right?”

“As far as I can remember. I’ll check with Bruce in the morning.” Tony tried not to read too much into Bucky’s question, but fell asleep with a hopeful heart that whatever was going on between them could grow into something more than a one night stand.

“This,” Tony declared as he looked around the table, “is the best birthday ever. Thank you.” He felt tears of joy stinging his eyes as he leaned over and blew out the candles on his cake. What a contrast from the year before, when it had been just him and Rhodey and a stale cupcake from the dorm vending machine. Or even just a few months earlier, before that crazy road trip, when he spent his weekends in front of his computer instead of spending time with people he cared about, and who cared about him.

Sam had made the cake from his momma’s recipe, and once it was cut and passed around, out came the gifts. Bruce had bought him a gigantic coffee mug, and Bruce’s girlfriend Betty, who Tony had only met a couple of times, had knit him a scarf. Steve presented Tony with a sketch of his favorite building on campus, and Rhodey – whose presence was gift enough in Tony’s opinion – gave him a vintage physics book dated 1898, the same year the electron was discovered.

Bucky had given Tony his present over breakfast – a bronze bracelet depicting the astrological symbols of Pluto and Charon. Inside, it was inscribed “I am your moon, you are my moon.” It was a perfect reminder of their visit to Lowell Observatory and the events of that night; they’d both gotten a little misty eyed when Tony opened the box.

Now, Bucky was sitting right next to Tony, his right arm wrapped casually around Tony’s waist as he slowly ate using the latest iteration of the prosthetic in a real-life test. Tony wasn’t sure what he was prouder of; the work that he and Bruce had put into creating the prosthetic and the interface, or the work Bucky had put in to learn how to use it. Regardless, he found himself cheering internally each time another bite of cake was successfully consumed.

“Wanna try feeding me a bit, sunshine?”

Bucky looked over at Tony’s empty plate. “Uh-huh - you’re just anglin’ to get more cake, aren’tcha?” But he focused his attention and maneuvered the fork over in front of Tony, only to smear the frosting on his nose. “Oops! Sorry, sweetheart,” Bucky apologized, but he couldn’t keep a straight face for long as he leaned in to lick the errant icing off

“Fine motor control test complete.” Bruce commented dryly, as the rest of the table dissolved in laughter. Tony hadn’t needed to make a birthday wish this year; he had everything he wanted right here.

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #college au #road trip #eventual smut #prompts #polizwrites #Anonymous

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rinadewolffe · 7 years

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My Impression on Life is Strange: Before the Storm

I played the first episode of Life is Strange: Before the Storm last night and it left me speechless. I actually had to think about what I could say. Massive spoilers ahead, please don’t read on if you haven’t played the game yet! Also, it’s gonna be an extremely long post, so buckle up!

So, I had my doubts about the game but I really wanted to know Chloe’s story. I also knew a different team was working on Before the Storm and I was very curious what they could make of all the things we learned from the first season of Life is Strange.

It’s extremely rare when I feel a connected to someone, especially to a fictional character, but Chloe Price couldn’t be a more real character to me. I knew she was put through pain, she was disappointed, she was abandoned, left alone, in grief, she lost people she loved. And I was the same as a teenager, however my dad is alive, I can say I was growing up fatherless, because he had to work far away from home, almost always, even now, when I’m way more than 14 or even 16 years old. I was like Chloe when I was sixteen, friendless, left alone with my thoughts, full of disappointment and anger. I loved getting to parties and I loved drinking, trying to drink away the pain, but I never did drugs. Almost never, to be honest. Chloe developed several mental diseases, like abandonment issues, she had PTSD, she had major depression, she was neglected, she was a cast-out, so to say. And so was I. People with mental health problems are still stigmatized and it’s a shame on society!

Chloe has always been different from other people, before she met Rachel she only had one friend, Max, who left her alone. I can totally understand Chloe’s passive-agressive behavior towards Max. When Rachel stepped into Chloe’s life it felt unreal for her. The energy that surrounded them was incredible. Deep down they were the same: full of pain.

We learned that Chloe became a delinquent not because she was stupid, simply she didn’t care about school. Same here. People say that high school is the time of your life: massive bullshit. Nobody knew Chloe’s name before Rachel posted that photo!

The way Chloe couldn’t really understand and handle her feelings towards Rachel just put the whole situation more life-like to me. We learned that she most probably dated a guy, Eliot, but after a while he just left her cold. The whole thing that she didn’t understand that she might be gay was just priceless. The way she felt nervous around Rachel just made it so sweet I almost developed diabetes.

Rachel... Rachel Amber, the enigma of the first season. A popular girl, beloved by everyone decides to befriend (or even more) the outsider. The popular girl is not so perfect. The popular girl is not invincible. The popular girl is in pain. Their friendship (or more) seems to be unlikely, but these girls actually have so much in common. They need each other.

But let’s just take a look at how other characters treated Chloe. Not all of them of course, I’m already writing a novel here...

Joyce was disappointed and worried and Chloe understood that. She was as helpless as her mother. She was hurt when her mother brought another man to the family house, a man Joyce called a “friend”, but... Chloe, you. didn’t. see. the. condoms... The way Chloe needed to choose between being kind or honest just made the whole situation more heart-breaking. And she was also worried for her mother, despite all the anger, because she knew her mother wanted to change so David might love her.

David... Right... The reason why I decided to act disrespectful towards David was he acted disrespectful towards Chloe. He thought he already earned his place in the Price house. He claimed that Chloe will respect him. No way. People just can’t claim that they will be respected. Respect needs to be earned. David tried, but he did more harm than good. He thought that she might respect him only because he served in the army. He ignored the fact that it’s far from enough to earn her place in a family house. The way he acted towards that teenage girl simply disgusted me.

Victoria. Ugh... She got interested in Chloe only after Rachel posted the photo. What can I say, she didn’t even know her name, of course I decided to sabotage her homework. Well, because of that and because that’s what I’d done when I was 16.

Oh, and Rachel, of course... The perfect girl, beloved by everyone. I mean, who wouldn’t love her? She’s beautiful, smart and has ambitions, but she also loves partying. But nobody knows that this girl is broken. She only revealed this part of her to Chloe. And she didn’t understand what was going on between them either. She claimed that it was new and strange, but special (or something like that). She wanted to get to know Chloe. They gave each other a chance, and well, it worked out much more than okay. These two girls have much more in common than we’d imagined.

Friendship or more??? Well, who knows. Chloe’s clearly crushing on Rachel, she even claimed that in the first season. (Well, okay, but who wouldn’t crush on Rachel?!) Even if it was just a friendship, it was more than friendship. I mean, more, but not in a romantic way. It’s something guys, I know, because that’s what I’m having with my best friend. And the way William reacts if you choose the “Something more” option with Rachel?! That’s so sweet I can’t even... Anyway, they both knew there’s something special between them. (*fangirling hard*)

The reason why I got worried about this project though was I read lots of comments about people hated Chloe. How can you hate a broken girl without knowing her story?! Wake up, people. People can have issues. Life can break you. People with mental health problems are still stigmatized. I know, I’m living it. It needs to stop! I have no idea how many times I read something like “Chloe’s toxic”, “Chloe uses Max”, “Chloe’s selfish”, “Chloe befriended Max only because she has superpowers” and other statements like these. Let’s be real: Chloe’s dad died. That sucks, and it puts it mildly... Not much later the only person she could call a friend left her. Heartbreak? Hell yeah. (Oh yeah, the way Chloe revealed how she crushed on Max before just put me into fangirl mode...) Abandonment issues? Yeah! Being afraid of left alone? Yeah! Not giving a shit about anything anymore? Yeah! Trying to drink the pain away? Yeah! Even getting high to escape that reality? Yeah!

Seems selfish? Maybe. These are all temporary solutions, but there was noone there for Chloe. Think about it now. When Max returned, Chloe took her back in a heartbeat! She could’ve left her in the parking lot, but no, she took her back! And she didn’t even know she had superpowers! Wake up, people. Chloe was damaged, partly because of Max, she had the right to give her some guilt-trip. She really had the right to make Max feel guilty for leaving. But still, she forgave her, she loved her, she turned her life more exciting, just when they were kids! Remember this, guys: Max ignored her texts.

And the people who said that Rachel is trash? What did we learn from the first seaon about Rachel? Very little. That she was beloved, that she took drugs, that she partied like the devil, that she didn’t tell Chloe she was banging Frank? Does this make her a bad person? She had issues. She was broken. The person she looked up to, her father, turned out to be a dirtbag. Of course she was looking for ways to get far away from Arcadia Bay, I guess she took every opportunity she could. And maybe, just maybe she was not really okay with the thing that kept happening between her and Chloe. Most people have a denying phase, you know.

Oh, and the thing that Pricefield is getting thrown away just because something new and better, Amberprice, came along? People... Amberprice is not new. We knew that Chloe was crushing on Rachel. I place Pricefield before anything else. But Chloe had a life when Max was not there. Chloe needed love, too. Chloe needed to feel like she mattered. Rachel gave that to her. But Rachel had her own issues she couldn’t talked about to Chloe. What a surprise, they are humans! So do these things make them bad people?

Anyway, I loved the game and I guess I’m gonna replay it at least as many times as I played the first season (that means at least 12 times, lol). So thank you Deck Nine, the game turned out to be pretty awesome. Expectations met (and they were very high), I hope the rest of the game will be at least as great as the first episode. And I also hope the fandom will not ruin this wonderful project. I’ve seen it happening before. I don’t wanna be part of a fandom which destroys its own “god”.

Peace, OUT!!

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