#and me seeing you from like january 2022 and seeing you through so so much and you're still fighting against life and living | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gretavangroupie · 10 months

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Vigilance (Chapter 17)

Word count: 21.7k

Pairings: Jake x Reader, Sam x OC

Warnings: 18+ as always, drinking, smoking, language, fluff, angst, smut, talk of violence and abusive situations, violence, weapons, blood.

This story is a collaboration with my best pal @gretavanmoon.

JANUARY 2022

HER POV

Your alarm sounds right on time, pulling you from your dreamless sleep. Your eyes pop open as you quickly spin to your side to press snooze. As you roll back onto your back you let out a sigh, desperate for that extra five minutes. You feel the bed shift, and feel Jake’s hand reach for you under the comfort of the sheets.

“Already?” he asks, voice still full of sleep.

You roll towards him as he opens his arms to you, pulling you into his chest. So much for those extra minutes.

“I have five–no four minutes. Shh…” you groan.

“What if you just…didn’t go…” he whines.

“I have to go…It’s the first day back after the holidays…shhhhh….” you plead.

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to…” he continues.

You press a kiss to his neck and roll away from him, plucking your phone from the nightstand and turning off the impending alarm. Pulling yourself from the warmth of the sheets you make your way over to the tall dresser, pulling out the drawer of your things and digging through it to find the items you stashed there.

You hear him groan from the bed as he stiffens his body to stretch his legs and arms before pulling himself from the bed.

“Fine, I guess I’ll go start the coffee…” he says, stepping out of the room.

—

Stepping out of the bathroom, you have a fluffy towel wrapped around your body, and the warm mug that was kindly left for you on the bathroom counter, in hand. Jake is sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed and ready for the day, down to his boots.

“Big plans today?” you ask, grabbing your work clothes from your packed overnight bag.

“Told Sam I would go help him with some things at his place, which I am sure will rope me into about ten other projects, but I also need to run down to the music store and pick up a few things. Other than that, not so much.” he answers, watching you dress.

“Oh, tell him I said hi. I haven’t talked to him since…like, Christmas. Oh I wonder if I will get my new assignment today…” you say, thoughts bouncing around in your head.

“I will tell him. If you do get it, and it’s not us, call me.” he says sternly.

“Oh, yes sir…” you say facetiously.

“Be careful…” he says, raising an eyebrow to you.

You finish buckling the strap on your heels, and stand up, smoothing out your skirt. “Okay, well, I’ll call you later?” you say, grabbing your multitude of bags and taking the last sip of your coffee.

“Would be sad if you didn’t.” he replies, standing to walk you out to the door.

You stop in the doorway, turning to give him a quick peck as you rush by, “Love you.”

“Love you too, have a good day today.” he answers, opening the front door to let you out.

—

Pulling into the parking lot you glance at the clock. 7:53. Perfect. The parking lot is full, and people are making their way to the front door as you step out of your car. Grabbing your coffee, and your laptop bag you stagger behind a group of people, just shy of catching the door.

You pull your keycard from your laptop bag and hold it to the card reader. Blinking red? Huh.

You try it again. Same thing. What the hell? Someone you don’t recognize walks up behind you, seeing you struggle to unlock the doors with all of the things in your hands.

“Hey, sorry my card isn't working for some reason.” you say, stepping to the side.

“Oh, uh, they have been a little wonky since the holidays. Let me try mine.” he says, tapping his to the pad, and seeing it light up green.

“We’re in!” he laughs, holding the door for you.

“Thanks, I will have to see what’s up with mine.” you laugh.

You make your way up the elevator and to your desk, depositing your things onto the fresh workspace. You hung your purse on the hook, and sat down in your chair before opening your computer.

You spent a lot of the morning sending over the revisions for the Strange Horizons expense documents, now that all the receipts had been provided, and as you hit send an email pinged into your inbox with an undeliverable message. Before you had a chance to click on it, your desk phone rang.

“Hello?” you answered.

“Hey Y/N! It’s Allison, how are you this morning?” she asked.

“Hey, I’m good…Just trying to get settled back in.” you replied.

“Y/N, I’m going to need you to meet me in the boardroom in half an hour, okay?” she asks.

“Sure, no problem! Do I need to bring anything?” you ask.

“No, that won't be necessary. I’ll see you then.” she says, hanging up her phone.

Huh. That was… strange.

You tried to busy yourself over the next thirty minutes but your mind was racing at the abruptness of this meeting, since you didn’t see it on the calendar for the day. You felt your hands start to grow clammy and your stomach start to swirl as the time dragged closer to 1:00.

As you pulled the door open to the board room you swallowed nervously, seeing the table filled with a few higher ups, and a few familiar faces, HR, Accounting, and Allison.

“Hi Y/N, thanks for coming in on such short notice.” Allison said.

“Hi…” you said, voice shaky with nerves.

“Just take a seat anywhere…” Allison said, tossing you a sorrowful look.

Your heart began to race as you realized that this wasn’t just a meeting your were attending, it was a meeting where you were the subject.

“Hi Y/N, I’m Johnathan Myers, I am the head of HR here at Collective. I understand that you've been with us just shy of a year now.” he starts, and you nod your head in agreement.

“I would just like to start out by saying that everyone that has worked with you has had nothing but positive things to say about you, your work ethic, and your dedication here at Collective. Unfortunately, something has come to light that makes my job a little bit difficult today.” he says, clicking the end of his pen.

“We received a message a few weeks ago from someone that was working closely with the crew on your last assignment. She provided photo evidence that is directly in breach of the contract you signed with us.” he says, sliding you a manilla envelope full of photos and documents.

You open the folder to find photos of you and Jake at various points during Strange Horizons. Times you thought you were alone. Times that look worse that they actually were. Times when things were far from innocent.

“I see.” you say, closing the envelope. “If I may explain…” you plead.

“We will give you a chance to tell us everything, however, unfortunately based on the severity of the evidence provided not only from the photographer, but also the expense reports, the board has made the decision to let you go from Collective at this time.” he says.

You feel your heart drop into your stomach. “No, please if I could just explain…” you beg.

“I–I have known Jake, well, all of the Kiskza’s since we were children. We grew up together in Michigan. I watched their band start in their parents garage… Jake and I were in a relationship for quite some time while I was in college. I moved to Nashville and knew no one, I got a job here, and started working, realizing this was truly my passion. When Allison told me my first assignment was going to be going to work with them I panicked. I tried everything to get out of it. But it was unavoidable.” you pause, picking at your fingernails.

“During the tour, Jake and I started talking again. Really I had no choice. After a few weeks things kind of picked up where they left off. I told him we couldn’t. I knew it was breaching my contract. Half of these photos that were taken were at times when we were hardly speaking to each other. They are telling a different story than what was actually happening, you have to believe me.” you beg.

“Y/N, this expense report from Austin, Texas shows a charge missing for crew lodging. Then again in Los Angeles, then again in Atlanta, Georgia. That combined with the photos, paints a very bad picture, you have to understand. While I am sure you never intended for this to happen this way, we have to take these kinds of things very seriously. Sadly, there is nothing further we can do for you at this point. We will be ending our professional relationship with you here today.” he says, finally.

You feel the tears starting to well in your eyes. You knew it. You always knew.

“I will say, however, that these young men care for you deeply. Josh called me himself to see if I would reconsider. Said that he has never had a better coordinator. The staff and crew we spoke to about this all said the same thing. It was never a question of whether you could do the job, Y/N. We just have these policies in place for a reason. We have to protect everyone involved. I’m very sorry that it turned out this way. We would be more than happy to give you any recommendations you may need.”

Josh knew? Did Jake know?

Taking one last look at the photos, you see a photo of you and Jake, standing in the rain arguing outside of that bar in Chicago. The night you both finally gave in. The night you decided he was worth any struggle you might face. Including this one. You closed the folder and slid it into the center of the meeting table.

“Thank you so much for the opportunity. I completely understand the position you’re in and I want to thank you for hearing me out.” you say, turning on your heels to walk out the large wooden door.

Collecting your items from your desk you leave your key card and your work computer, making sure to grab your tiny plant as you throw your purse over your shoulder. You are fighting back the tears threatening to spill over as you make a dash to your car. You open the back door, and throw all the items inside, not even caring where they land.

You climb into the driver's seat and as the door shuts the tears begin to flow. A sob leaves your chest as the emotions seep out of every pore. Everything you worked for, gone with the snap of a finger.

You rest your head on your steering wheel as you continue to cry, not a single thought in your head other than failure. You pull your phone from your purse with shaky hands as you press the icon to call Jake. You place the call on speakerphone, letting the shiny black device rest on your leg.

You try to sniffle up the tears as the call rings out, but when you’re met with his voicemail you begin to cry harder.

You toss your phone into the passenger seat, and start your car, knowing the only place you want to go is straight to Jake. You don’t even know if he’s home, but your brain is on autopilot, guiding you to your place of comfort.

You blink away the tears as you merge onto the interstate, forced breaths still spilling from your chest. How am I going to afford my rent? How am I going to pay any of my bills? I’m going to have to leave Nashville.

Another round of sobs leaves your chest at the thought of losing everything, everyone, that you’ve held close.

A few minutes later you are throwing your car into park as you head straight for his front door. It’s locked. You key in the lock combination and it unlocks, a chime filling the house as you enter.

“Jake?” you cry out, voice still shaking with tears.

You drop your things at the door and frantically search for him, “Jake, hello?”

JAKE POV

“Y/N?” you ask, stepping out of your closet, with a wet towel in your hands.

What is she doing here?

“Baby? What are you doing here? Oh my god, what’s wrong?” you ask, seeing her tear streaked face. You drop the towel to the ground and rush over to her.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” you ask, cupping her face in your hands.

“I tried to… call you…” she says through sniffles.

“Oh no, I was in the shower, I’m sorry… I…” you stammer.

“Jake…They fired me.” she says, a whimper leaving her throat.

“What? Baby, why?” you ask, shock overtaking your body.

“Because of you! Because of the pictures! Summer she… showed them, she sent them everything–” she rambles, too many thoughts trying to escape at once.

“What?! Summer? No! They can't do that, that's bullshit! No, they don’t even know, they–” you stammer, fury filling your mind.

“No Jake! They can and they did! I signed the contract. I breached it. I’m done. I’m fired. There’s nothing I can do. I tried to explain. They didn’t care, Jake!”

“No! I’ll call them right now. I–I’ll tell them it was me. It was all me and that you didn’t… I–I….” you trail off, dragging your hands across your face.

“This was what I was always afraid of Jake! This is exactly it. This is what you said wouldn’t happen. You wouldn’t let this happen! It happened!” she cries.

Oh fuck…

“Y/N, please, I… I didn’t think–” you start.

“Exactly! We didn’t think! I fucked up! I shouldn’t have done this. We should have waited! My career is over Jake! I am going to be blacklisted from every agency from here to LA! Do you get that? Everything I worked for is gone!” she yelled, guilt filling your body.

“I have no job! I have no way to pay my rent. Oh my god, I’m gonna have to move home…” she says, shock and realization hitting her all at once.

“Fuck! No! Absolutely not. You aren’t leaving. You can't! I’ll pay your rent. I’ll pay your bills, I… I don't care. You know that!”

“I can’t let you do that Jake! I have no idea how long it's going to take me to find another job! If I can find another job! I’m not your burden!” she yells.

You pace the room with your fingers on your chin, “Okay, then you can…You can stay here.” you plead. “This house is plenty big enough. It doesn’t feel like home when you’re not here anyways.”

“Plus I… want you here. All the time. You know that. I hate when you’re not here.” you beg.

“Jake, you don’t really want that. I thought you needed space and alone time and–” she starts.

“It’s the only thing I’ve wanted since I was sixteen years old!” you interrupt. “Remember what I used to say? I wanted an old house, with old furniture? The part I never told you was that you were there too. Living in the old house with me.” you say, grabbing her arms.

“I wanna wake up to you in my bed every single day. I wanna make breakfast with you and talk about our days. Come back at the end of the night and drink wine on the living room floor...All of it. I want it with you.” you say, looking into her bloodshot eyes, starting to well with tears once again.

“You take up every ounce of space in my head...and in my heart...I learned the hard way that it’s never gonna be anyone else. It’s always going to be you. So I’m fighting this time. I didn’t fight for you last time. But now I am. I’m not letting you slip away from me again.” you say, pulling her close to you.

“I don’t know Jake. This is… so much…I just… need some time. I need to think…I don’t even know what I want right now.” she says, pulling away from you.

You feel your heart drop as she steps over to the window.

“I just can’t lose you again.” you say.

“I’m scared Jake. I just lost my job. My entire life is up in the air now. Things with us were just starting to feel right… I don’t want to move in with you because you don’t want me to leave you again. I want to move in with you because you love me and want to keep moving forward in this relationship. You know? I don’t want it to be rushed. I don’t want to force something we weren’t ready for.” she asks.

“It’s not rushed! I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I have known practically my whole life! I bought this house for us, before I ever even knew if I would see you again! I meant it when I said everything I have is yours. I want all of this to be ours. I need you here Y/N. Having you here these past few weeks only solidified that feeling. Do you… not feel the same?” you ask, hesitantly.

“No, I…I do. I–I’m just scared. I’m mad. I’m angry at Summer. I’m angry at you. I don’t know what to do.” she says, a single tear leaking from her eye.

“I know. I’m so so sorry baby. You have to believe me. I never thought this would happen. Just know I will do anything I can and you don’t have to decide right now…I will do anything to keep you here. Where you belong.” you say, swiping the tear from her eye.

“I think I just need to think. I need some time away from all of this… to figure out what to do…I don’t want to be mad at you Jake, but, I am. I’m hurt.” she says, pulling away.

“Okay, well…If you decide this isn’t what you want, and you don’t want to be with me anymore, I’ll let you go. I’ll respect that choice and I’ll move on. I don’t know how, but I will. I did it once. But just know if you’re in, I’m in for good.” you say.

She turns to face you, eyes filled with sadness. “Please don’t make this harder…” she begs.

“Tell me you’ll come back. Tell me you aren’t leaving for good…” you plead.

“I just need some space…” she breathes, gathering her things near the door.

“Please, just tell me you love me one more time…just in case…” you beg.

You watch her bottom lip quiver as she tries to force the words out, “I love you, Jake.” she whispers, her eyes blinking out heavy tears.

“Fuck, you’re killing me. Ripping my heart out and taking it with you Y/N. Please, please come back, okay?” you say, holding back your own tears.

She looks at you one last time before slipping out the door.

As it latches shut, you wonder if that will be the last time those words leave her lips.

—

As badly as she hurt you just now, and as badly as she’s torn up, you knew somewhere deep down that she would be back. She’s upset, she’s pissed, and she’s embarrassed. You knew her, knew she sometimes overreacted with her emotions and made big decisions when she was upset, a flaw that somehow was endearing to you.

She needed time, and she needed space. And you knew it wouldn’t be long, you hoped. In the meantime, you felt as though you needed to let loose on someone. She wasn’t the only one filled with rage over the whole situation.

You went back into your bedroom to find your phone, finding the correct contact for Collective. They deserved to hear your piece.

You finally found the extension for HR, and spoke with a bit of fire in your tone. You told them the entire backstory, of which they said they understood, that Y/N had given those same details. You explained how your relationship had begun many many moons ago, and that your families were so close that you shared every holiday since you were kids.

You begged them to reconsider, pleaded with them that it was your fault, but still ended up empty handed. Before the phone call ended, you suggested that even though you understood these rules were set for good reasons, that they should seriously consider restating them, or even adding a clause for special situations such as this. Because in all reality, it was completely unfair.

Your next order of business was to take care of the Summer problem. You dialed up the number for the label, of which you knew by heart now.

“Hey, this is Jake. I was wanting to speak with someone in HR, I need to file a formal complaint.”

SAM POV

You felt your phone buzzing in your pocket, trying to ignore it while you hashed out the notes for a new melody on your piano. Just let it ring, you told yourself. The buzzing continued and you finally gave in, pulling it out and seeing a familiar name.

Y/N?

The buzzing stopped and your lock screen appeared as you collected your thoughts. You haven’t spoken in so long…what could she need?

When your mind came back to earth, you hit redial, letting the call ring back.

“Hey, Sammy. Sorry if I bothered you…” she said, voice low and somber.

“No no you aren’t bothering me. What’s up?” You replied.

“I- um. Are you busy right now?” She asked.

“Uh, no, not really. You ok?” You asked, feeling concerned.

“Um, I’m not the best,” she breathed out through a fake laugh. “Would you want to…come over? For just a little bit. I could really…I need to just, talk. I guess.” She said.

You paused for a long second, collecting your thoughts. She wouldn’t call unless she really needed you, right?

“Yeah, sure. I can be there in just a little bit.” You said, checking the time. “Are you not at Jake’s?”

“No, I’m at my apartment, actually.” She said, voice going low again.

Oh.

“Oh alright, ok I’ll be there soon.” You replied hanging up the phone, wondering why she would have gone back to her place, and hoping that there was nothing really wrong.

—

Three little knocks.

You found yourself feeling out of place as you stood on the front porch of her apartment, waiting for her to answer the door. When you got her phone call, you were surprised to say the least. It’s been weeks, and you’ve barely said ten words to each other. On your own accord, of course. You knew it was upsetting her, and you’d stepped away for a good reason, but you’d definitely left her in the dark.

You paced around awkwardly, fiddling with the pothos plant sitting on a shelf in the corner. Finally you heard the door lock click, and the doorknob twist. She opened the door just halfway, exposing only a portion of herself. She looked upset, downtrodden and exhausted, and you immediately felt the need to comfort her.

“You know, this plant would do a ton better inside. It hates the direct sunlight…” you trailed off, still fiddling with the browning leaves.

The huge smile that crossed her face was stark in contrast to the way her appearance was, but it was contagious. It always was. The saying ‘her smile could light up a room’ was completely true in her case, the way her eyes smiled before the rest of her face did.

“Well, bring it in here, then.” She said as she opened the door wider, inviting you and her plant inside.

You walked in, feeling like you were entering a place with no trespassing signs hanging all over the walls. It was bizarre, coming back into a home where you used to feel so comfortable and welcome, but now feeling like an alien on another planet. You brought the plant over to the kitchen sink and stuck it under the faucet.

“Just a little bit of water, not too much or you’ll drown it.” You said as you turned on the faucet, letting the soil moisten. “Spray the leaves off a little bit too, they like to be able to breathe..” you placed the planter in the wide windowsill above the kitchen sink, gently pulling the long trailing vines of leaves up to rest along the counter.

When you were satisfied with your work, you turned around to find her leaned with her back against the refrigerator, watching you intently with her head resting in her hand. Tears had filled her eyes, and her exhausted appearance found its way to her body again.

“Thank you, Sammy.” She said sweetly. You felt your heart ache.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” You finally asked quietly. She wiped her eyes, trying to dry herself up, but to no avail. Her tears were falling harder now, her chest heaving with sobs. Damn, she really is upset. “Hey, babe, what is it? You can tell me…”

She slowly walked over, reaching her arms out to wrap you up in them, taking you in an embrace that you’d missed so, so terribly. Her face buried in your chest, her breathing on the skin of your neck…You lifted your arms to hug her back, letting yourself hold her for just a second, but then suddenly feeling the wild thoughts rushing through your mind again. Too close.

You pulled away quickly, pulling her arms off of you with a little bit of force as you stepped back. The action surprised her, making the sadness on her face even more heart wrenching. It’s killing me too, babe.

“What the fuck Sam? I can’t even hug you anymore?” She sounded pissed.

Here came the rage again.

“No, fuck. You can’t Y/N. You can’t hug me like that anymore.” You spat.

“WHY? Why can’t I?!” She yelled.

“Because! It makes me feel a way that I’m not allowed to feel anymore, okay? Feeling you touch me again is just…” you let your words hang.

She tilted her head back, exasperated, and walked quickly to the couch. “Come here. Sit down.” She demanded. You followed suit.

She took a deep breath as she pulled her legs underneath her. “Did I…do something wrong, Sammy? We haven’t spoken in like a month…I just…don’t know…” you watched as her lip quivered, trying to fight back an emotion she used to let fall so freely with you.

You didn’t know what to say, you didn’t come prepared to talk about this. Though, you’d walked right into it. The way she talked on the phone, you thought something else would be discussed right now. Beating around the bush would keep things light and professional, but your insides were being ripped apart from not being honest with your other half, and telling her every emotion you’ve been bottling up for way too long.

You sighed, deciding to just go with your instinct. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Y/N…” your words felt like they were on fire in your mouth, clawing their way out of your throat while you tried your best to extinguish them.

“Then why are you ignoring me? Ever since Thanksgiving and after our…talk…that night on the floor, I thought we were going to be able to talk about our past like it was nothing, but…”

“Is that what it was to you, Y/N? Nothing?” You said flatly. Your heart felt like she’d ripped it out, and stomped all over it.

She went silent, looking like you’d just slapped her across the face.

“Of course it wasn’t nothing, Sam, god. It was…everything to me…while it was happening.” She bit back.

“Then why did you call it nothing?” You asked, seeing if you could pull a little more from her before spilling your guts all over her couch.

She stared at you with a confused admission, opening her mouth and closing it again over and over, trying to find the words. “I don’t know, Sam, I- Jake came back and…you know…things just, went…”

You nodded slowly. “Yeah, they definitely went...”

“What do you mean, Sam? We had a pretty clear agreement on everything, and how we were handling our situation…I don’t know why you’re so upset with me for sticking to it, not letting my feelings get involved.” Her voice was rising now, and she was talking with her hands. She barely ever talked with her hands, only when she was lying.

You stopped her. “Wait, not letting your feelings get involved? I thought you didn’t have any feelings for me?” You pressed, leaving her completely silent.

Her eyes closed, the realization of her words hitting her. She scooted closer to you on the couch, sitting crossed legged and facing you. She let her face fall into her hands as she tried to breathe. You felt your heart pumping hard in your chest, your ears going deaf.

Finally, after a few seconds, she pulled up. She slowly grabbed your hands, taking them in hers. Her touch. It felt like electricity.

“Sam, listen to me. I’m going to be completely honest with you, because you deserve nothing but the truth. You’re my best friend on the whole earth, and I can not live my life lying to you, ok?” She said through choppy breaths. Her hands were twisting themselves with yours.

“Do you remember the night I woke up and found you playing piano, playing our song?” She asked quietly, the memory finding your brainwaves once again. You nodded.

“Well, you told me you couldn’t sleep, because you were scared of the uncertainty of your future…and that completely broke me, Sam. It made me scared and nervous, for myself and for you…anyways, after we went back to bed, I didn’t sleep the rest of the night.” She admitted. You still felt confused, unsure of what she was saying.

“Why not?” You whispered.

“Because…because I- felt something new that night, for you, that I hadn’t ever felt…before, ever. A big, huge feeling…watching you sleep next to me.” She stammered. “I don’t know what the feeling was, it was so unexpected…but it scared the hell out of me, Sam. And I…still feel it, sometimes. Not recently, but. It comes and goes.” She became red in the face, completely embarrassed at her admission. You knew she felt guilty.

“But I can’t feel it, Sam. I can’t. I can’t ever let it come back…”

“Then why did you let it go away at all?” You asked quietly, tears filling your eyes, too.

She shook her head. “You know why, Sammy.” The tears falling quickly now.

You felt like your entire body was floating, her words dancing around in your mind, making you hate yourself and love yourself at the same time.

She felt the same. Maybe not now, but she did. At some point in all of this, she was right where you are now.

You decided to meet her energy. You took her hands even more tightly, clearing your throat. You suddenly felt a wave of comfort come over your body, and you felt prepared to share.

“I lied to you, Y/N. I lied to you for a very long time.” You admitted with confidence. Her face turned from sadness to surprise, and her mouth hung open.

“But I lied to myself, too. Listen. Our relationship, sex-ationship, whatever the hell that was, was one of the absolute best times in my life. My absolute favorite person in the world came back to me so unexpectedly, and we picked up right where we left off. Except, we allowed ourselves to feel a little more…seriously. Right? Act on the one thing we never got to experience together. We agreed that it was never anything more than just physical. And it wasn’t. For the longest time. I had suppressed all those old feelings for you, they were truly gone. Meanwhile, you and I made some of the most beautiful and mind-blowing love that I have ever experienced in my life, do you hear me? Whatever wild connection you and I have, it’s…” you paused, wanting to leave a little respect for Elle and Jake in the picture. “I sometimes wish that during our time together, I would have felt those feelings for you, because it would have made it that much more meaningful.”

“Anyway, things changed. You got with Jake, Elle came back. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with her, Y/N, I hope you know that. And I can see you and Jake are the same. But, at Thanksgiving, when we laid on the floor and you told me all those things…how you wanted me to be your first, and how you used to think about me, it flipped some sort of stupid switch in me. Ever since that night, my feelings for you, the real ones, came flying back at me. And they’ve overtaken me, I’m driving myself insane, Y/N.” You felt tears coming as you struggled to find the right words.

“I’ve fought the feelings for weeks, drinking myself silly, racking myself with guilt, I feel so…ugh I don’t even know the words. That’s why I’ve been so distant. But they are back. And I don’t know what to do with them. And I’m sorry. And it’s wrong, it’s so wrong, Y/N. If Jake or Elle ever knew… I…” you stopped and trailed off, feeling like you got most of it out.

She sat and looked at you with the strangest expression. Proud, for your admission. Happy that you felt that way. But mostly guilt-stricken, because maybe she felt the same way, too.

“We don’t need to talk about it, ok? We don’t need to discuss, or figure anything out. I feel like, maybe, you and I are just meant to be connected in some crazy, fucked up way, and the years are going to go on and the feelings will come back, and leave again but. I’m trying my best, right now. That’s why I asked Elle to move in. I’m ready to move on with her, she’s it for me. I don’t want to fuck anything up with her. I’m fucking crazy about her…” you trailed off as the proudest smile crept its way to her face, turning into a giggle.

“Why are you laughing?” You asked, a smile finding your face, too.

“I love watching you talk about her. I love watching you talk about your future with her. It makes me feel so happy that you’re in love...” She went on, her words filling you with pride and heartbreak at the same time. You’d just told Danny that you were in love with her, too.

You laid your head back on her couch and huffed out a sigh. “This is so stupid, isn’t it?” You asked her, not really looking for an answer.

“Yeah, it really is. But, I’m glad we got it out, the both of us. Even if it was hard. Maybe now we can put it behind us. We can’t tell another soul about this, ok?” She said, laying her hand on your knee.

“Well, Daniel kinda knows…” you admitted, biting your lip.

“Well, fuck. Ok, he can’t tell a soul, either. Got it?” She laughed.

“You got it, babe.”

You brought your hand to her face, moving in closely, an action that was risky given your conversation, but you didn’t want her to even think for one second you’d abandoned her. Never again.

“Maybe we can find each other again, in another life, in another realm…maybe we already do exist together, somewhere else. That’s why we’re always so close, but so far away all the time. We’re connected elsewhere…” you said, brushing your thumb over her cheek. “I’m so sorry I’ve been acting like an ass. I’ve just really been struggling with this.”

She smiled into your hand. “I know. I’ve felt it in the past, too. But at least we can talk about it now and not feel ashamed. We’ve got to try and move on…it’s doing nothing but hurting us. I belong to Jake, no questions asked.”

You took a deep breath and nodded. “And I’m Elle’s. We’ve gotta go grow up now, Y/N.”

It was quiet for a bit more while you sat in comfortable silence.

“Wait, why were you sad when I got here? Was something else going on?” You asked, suddenly remembering she answered the door crying.

“Yeah, actually. That’s why I called you. I um, I got fired. From Collective.” She said defeatedly.

Your mouth fell open. “What?! Are you joking? Because of Jake? There’s no way, that’s not right, we signed your paperwork… are you sure?”

“Yeah, they called me in for a meeting today. Told me they had photo evidence from Summer and there was nothing they could do. I breached my contract.” She said.

“Did you explain to them? Did you tell them the situation? This isn’t happening…” you went on, feeling butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

“I did, I tried. I couldn’t argue with them. They made me pack up and give them my key…I was so pissed, Sam. I knew this would happen. I fucking knew it. Now, I don’t have a job, I can’t pay my rent, my bills… I don’t know what I’m going to do. That’s why I’m here, Jake promised everything was going to be okay, and it’s not. I’m so upset with him, or toward him…I don’t know. I have to figure something else out, now. Everything is so fucked.” She went on, her body language falling again.

“So wait, you left Jake’s house and came back here after you found out?” You asked, puzzled. “Why aren’t you still at his house?”

“I had to leave, Sam. I couldn’t be around him. He said this wasn’t going to happen and it did! I lost my job because of us being together. I needed some space to think…” she said.

You were stunned. “Wait, Y/N, it wasn’t his fault you got fired…you got mad at him because you got fired? That doesn’t make any sense…” you went on. “Honestly you shouldn’t need to think about anything at all, you two made this decision together…not just him.”

She avoided eye contact. She knew you were right.

“Hey, don’t be like that to him. Come on, he doesn’t deserve the blame. You’ve gotta see that, right?” You said, trying to be understanding.

“He basically asked me to move in with him, Sam. Because I don’t have anywhere else to go except back to Michigan. If I move in with him, I want it to be on terms where I’m not desperate, and have no other choice. I want him to want me to live with him, not need to. Does that make sense?” She said.

You thought for a second. “I mean I guess…don’t you already stay with him most nights anyway? And have a bunch of your stuff there? Hell, Y/N, you’re lying to yourself if you don’t notice all his hints that he wants you to live with him now, and has for a long time. Think about it...” You said, laughing. “Are you serious?”

“Yes I’m serious, Sam. I need some time to think. That’s a very big move in a relationship…” she said, her attitude showing through.

“Uh, ya think? I just asked Elle to move in with me…don’t you think I know exactly how big that feels? Why are you being like this?” You were starting to get irked with her. Jake didn’t deserve that.

“Listen, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ll…get over it soon, I guess. Just need some freaking time, ok? Today has just been a lot. I can’t believe I lost the career of my dreams.” She said.

“Yeah, ya know what? I can’t let this happen.” You said, pulling your phone out to call Josh.

He picked up after one ring.

“Hey, we need to all meet at the office like, stat. Can you make that happen? I’m already on my way. All four of us, yeah. Yeah. Okay, see you in a few.”

You hung up and stood up, ready to head to the office.

“I’m gonna figure this out, Y/N. There’s no way they can do this. We contracted you already. And photo evidence? Of what?” You went on.

“Sam, stop. You don’t have to figure anything out. It’s a done deal, there’s nothing anyone can do. I’m going to have to leave.” She said.

“Oh no you’re not. You don’t have to go anywhere. You need to go home to Jake, and apologize for freaking out on him for no reason. We’re figuring this out.” You said.

She stood up beside you, ready to stop you from going out the door. You put your hand to her shoulder.

“Babe, let me fight for you. One more time, please. Let me try to help.” You pleaded.

Her arms fell to her sides in defeat as she let you go.

“Ugh okay, go.” She motioned toward the door. “Thank you for coming over Sammy. I’m really glad we talked finally. And thanks for calling me out on my pettiness.” She said, walking toward her front door. “I’ll go back to him, I just need some time to think. Figure some shit out. And I promise, you really don’t have to fight this hard for me.”

“We need you with us more than you think.” You said, sending her a wink. You turned around on the porch as she stood in the doorway watching you go. “You’re still my best girl, remember?”

Josh’s words from Thanksgiving replayed in your head.

‘Did you ever fight for them? Did you ever go to bat for them? No, you didn’t.’

So this was your time. You had to find a way to fix it.

——

You hopped back in your car and pulled out your phone as you backed out of the parking lot, bringing up Elle’s contact as it connected to the Bluetooth.

“Hey babe, what’s up?” She answered.

“Hey, I’ve gotta go to the office for a while, we’ve gotta have a meeting. Y/N just got fired.” You said.

“Oh my god, what?! You’re kidding! Why?” She yelled.

“Apparently Summer was taking photos of her and Jake, and she turned them into Collective. I don’t know much else, but I will probably be home late. She’s threatening to move back home.” You said, thinking about running a stoplight.

“Shit. Should I go over to her apartment?” She asked.

“Might not be a bad idea, babe. Be careful, I’ll talk to you tonight.” You said.

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you more.”

—

A few minutes later, you pulled into the office, and rushed through the double doors to the meeting room, finding Josh and Danny had beaten you there.

“What the fuck is going on? Y/N got fired!” You screamed, yanking a chair out from the table and sitting down.

They were both quietly sitting, nodding their heads.

“Hello, did you hear me? Collective fired her today…” you said, slapping your hands on the table.

“Yeah Sam, we know.” Daniel said.

You were shocked. “What do you mean you know? Both of you knew?” You asked. They nodded.

“For how long?! Did you know it was going to happen before she did?” You yelled.

Danny glanced to Josh.

“I knew, they called me a few days ago.” He admitted, hanging his head.

“What the fuck Josh! And you didn’t think to tell us? Tell her, warn her?” You were getting more mad by the second.

Just then, the doors opened again as Jake came in, turning and locking the doors behind him. He bounded into the meeting room, his body language feeling bigger than normal.

He took a seat, picked up a pen from the table and began clicking it. “Y/N got fired today.” He said blankly.

“Yeah, we fuckin’ know. And guess who else knows? Josh! And Daniel! Go ahead Josh, tell him how long you’ve known!” You motioned towards him. Jake’s face fell, and turned into something morbid. He spun in his chair, fully facing his twin. Josh wasn’t scared of Jake, and vice versa, but sometimes you could tell when they feared each other, simply because of them feeling the other’s emotions so strongly.

Josh shook his head, running his hand through his curls. “Fuck. They called me a couple days ago. Told me they needed to let her go because she breached her contract, all that bullshit. I asked them how they had knowledge, and they said that they received photo evidence from our photographer… I guess you guys weren’t as secretive as you thought you were. They also went back and said they had proof she wasn’t staying in assigned crew lodging. Anyways, I tried everything, I swear I did. Called straight to the head of HR, told them no one did the job better than her, that it didn’t make sense to fire her. I also told them your situation was a bit more serious than just fraternizing.”

You watched as Jake stared at Josh in disbelief for a few seconds before turning his swivel chair back around to face the table.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Josh.” Jake said quietly, you could tell he was disappointed.

“I was going to, Jake. I swear I was. I was just trying to figure out how.” Josh said, sincerity in his voice.

Suddenly, you noticed something on Daniel’s face. He looked swollen? “Daniel, what the fuck happened to your lip?” You asked, interrupting the conversation.

Daniel removed his folded hands from covering his face, scooting his chair to the table. He cleared his throat. “Well Sam, that’s why Josh and I didn’t get to tell you immediately about Y/N. Josh asked me to dinner to talk about how to tell you all, and I kind of…” Danny stopped, looking to Josh.

“Daniel got into an altercation. With Andy.” Josh said flatly.

You and Jake simultaneously fell back into your chairs, completely shocked by that statement.

“WHAT?” Jake yelled, not holding back any of his rage at this point. “With Andy? A fight. You got into a fight with him. Where?” Jake began to stand up.

“Josh and I were in a restaurant on the other side of town, trying to figure out how the hell we were going to tell you about Y/N when I saw Andy walk by. I got up immediately, ran after him. He got away from me, even as I was chasing him down. He rounded a corner and went down an alley. We cornered him, asked him why the hell he was here, what he wanted. Told him we knew he’d been following us, following her.” Danny explained.

“Yeah, he said some fucked up shit. Guess Danny let him get the best of him. He knew a bunch of other shit, too, like personal things about Daniel. They ended up having it out on the concrete. We told him he needed to stay away from her, from all of us or else we were going to move to more drastic measures.” Josh went on. “Jake, I honestly think now might be the time for those drastic measures.” Josh bit his thumbnail.

You could feel the same rage that Jake was feeling, boiling up in the pit of your stomach. How long had he been back? Why didn’t they tell you? What else did he know?

“So you’re telling me you’ve both known he’s been back for more than 24 hours, and neither of you thought to text Sam and I 911? The thing we all agreed on, if we ever saw him again?” Jake was staying as calm as possible, but his voice was beginning to become louder, laced with venom.

“Did the both of you forget that he could get to her at any given moment if I’m not there? Hell, or Elle? The one thing I asked of everybody…” he was yelling now. “I can’t fucking believe this shit!” He was pacing around the room, you could feel his nerves radiating off his body.

“And now I won’t even be there to protect her, since she’s fired. I won’t even know where she is half the time!” He yelled, throwing his hands above his head.

“Jake, please, man. We were trying to tell you. Shit just got…so fucked up.” Daniel said.

Jake leaned his hands down on the table, looking directly at Daniel. “A text, Daniel. That’s all I asked for. And neither of you could be fucking bothered with it.” He continued to walk around the table.

“And you know what the worst part about all this is? She left. We got into a huge fight, because I told her I wouldn’t let her get fired. And she trusted me. Now look where we are. She won’t answer my phone calls, texts, nothing. I don’t even know where she is. Just gone.” He sat down hard once he got back to his chair. “I’m gonna fuckin’ lose her again, I just know it.”

It was silent for a few beats. “She’s home, Jake. At her apartment. She’s fine.” You said under your breath, treading lightly.

You could feel his eyes boring into the side of your head. “Oh great. So she’ll talk to you then, huh. Did she call you? Go crawling back to you like she does every time we fight?”

Fuck.

“Jake, now come on. Please. She was upset as hell. She will be fine, she just needs to figure some shit out. Imagine if your entire career got ripped out from under you. You’d be fucked up too.” You dismissed his insinuation, trying to focus on the bigger picture. “Elle was going over to her apartment to be with her. She’s not alone.”

He shook his head, forcing his tongue into the sides of his cheeks as his mind raced. You were starting to worry about him finding Elle, now, too.

Jake finally spoke. “Listen. If we are gonna make this work, I need us to be on the same fuckin’ page. All the time. Can we do that? I need to trust you three. One hundred percent. It feels a bit like we’re starting to forget that.” His leg was bouncing hard up and down.

His words hit you hard. You nodded to him. “Yeah. No more bullshit.”

“Jake, it wasn’t my place to tell her about the job, or you…we were trying to figure that part out in the most professional way we could. She needed to hear it from them. Imagine how awful it would have been if I had to be the one to let her know she was fired?” Josh said.

“All of it is all of our place, Josh. We’re a unit, no individuals. Do you get that? We’re family.” Jake responded, not making eye contact with him.

Josh nodded, and so did Daniel. “Yeah. Family. Okay. I really am sorry, brother.” Josh said quietly.

“I’m sorry, too.” Danny admitted.

Jake grinned for just a second. “I hope he looks worse than you, Danny.”

Danny took a deep breath. “Well, there’s a little bit more, Jake.” He said, rubbing his hands on his knees. “He pulled a knife on me.”

“Are you kidding me?” You said, in complete disbelief.

He shook his head. “No, threatened me with it, too. And…right before we left, he told us to enjoy our time with Y/N, because our time with her is limited.”

“That’s why I think these drastic measures need to be taken soon, Jacob.” Josh added.

Jake’s eyes grew wide. “What the hell does that mean?”

You felt your stomach turn. Limited? Andy could truly get fucked.

“Don’t know. Honestly, he was probably just talking a big game. He probably knew she was getting fired, with how much he was saying he knew about us. It was so freaky.” Josh said.

The table went quiet again as everyone’s heads spun. “We need a game plan. Josh, do you have the photos?” Jake asked.

“Actually, I do. They emailed them to me, after I requested them. I had to do a little convincing, but after I told them that they were photos taken with a company owned camera, without your immediate consent and without either of your knowledge, they softened up a bit.” Josh pulled out his phone, flicking through his emails. “I haven’t looked at them.”

Jake took the phone. “Come around me, I want us all to see them together. No secrets.” He took a deep breath as everyone crowded behind him, and he opened the attachment. You felt a pang of something in your stomach, jealousy at what you were about to see? But you pushed it away.

Jake flipped through the attachments, various darkened photos of them in close quarters, holding hands, standing in the rain together…one looked like it was taken between the seats of a plane, another through a window of a crew trailer.

“Mother fucker…she was watching you guys.” You said in disbelief.

“Yeah, damn good thing I fired her ass already.” Jake said.

“What?” You all said in unison.

He chuckled. “Yeah, when Y/N got home and told me, I immediately called Collective to try and talk them out of it, too. Told them everything. That we grew up together, dated in the past, that we’re very seriously involved, even lied and told them we lived together. Let them know it had all become serious again after she was hired, and I’m the one they should put the blame on, not her. They didn’t take my plea, either, of course.”

“Anyway, I called the label and told them we would like Summer to be let go effective immediately. Also told them to flag her for inappropriate sexual advancements to myself, with witnesses. Not sure they were expecting that one, but. I’m not sorry I didn’t consult with you three about that decision. I’m sure you all agree we couldn’t trust her. Also I can’t believe Collective never got the photos of us ice skating…I was positive a fan was going to leak that shit.”

“Yeah, I’m not arguing with you about that move. Her photos were great, but. This is overstepping…” you added, wondering what else she may have photographed in her time with the band.

—

JAKE POV

Pushing back from the table, you stand and pull your keys from your pocket, “Alright, so we’re done here?” you ask.

“Is there anything else we can do?” Sam asks.

“No Sammy, I think they have done enough, don’t you?” you say pointedly.

“Jake, come on…” Daniel replies.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” you say, and with that you are walking out to your car.

Slamming the door shut you push the keys into the ignition and pull out of the parking lot. You slide your phone out of your pocket, hoping to see her name on the screen but you’re met with nothing.

You swallow nervously as your mind starts to wander, filling your brain with visions of her leaving, and her parting ‘I love you.’

No. Fuck this.

You hit her contact and hold your phone to your ear, letting the tone ring out. You tap your fingers on the steering wheel, anxious to see if she will answer, but again you are met with her voicemail.

You drop your phone into your lap as you bite the inside of your cheek. Just give her time. She will come around. Right?

Pulling into your driveway you quickly throw your car in park, and jump out, the streets quieter than usual. You take a look around as you head up to your front door, enter your code, and step over the threshold. The house is cold and empty. You swear you can still hear the echoes of your fight earlier.

Walking straight to the kitchen you pour yourself a drink, and make your way back to your study. You set your drink on the coffee table before stretching out on the couch, grabbing the book you started a few days ago. A few minutes pass, and though you’re reading the words on the page you can’t focus, the nagging feeling of your phone in your pocket driving you mad.

Is she okay? Is she still at home?

You sit up, taking another sip from your glass, letting the liquid burn down the back of your throat. It isn’t long until you start to feel yourself relaxing. You try to pick up your book again, but still, it’s not sinking in. You toss it back onto the table with a sigh and you place your hands behind your head, staring up at the ceiling.

How can you fix this?

You stand from the couch, making your way upstairs and into your guest room, where your little studio had been so lovingly crafted. Sitting down at the table, you open the leather sketchbook, letting your fingers glide across the cluster of stars, as you pull a perfectly sharpened pencil from the cup.

How did you used to do this? How did you start?

You put the pencil to paper and began outlining. You had a vision in your head, and you let your hand guide you as you began to fill the page with your ideas. By the time you feel like you’ve accomplished a rough outline your eyes flick to the clock on the wall. 11:43.

You flick off the lamp, and stand from the chair, closing the sketchbook. Your heart twists as you see her words scrawled across the first page. You let out a sigh, and make your way back downstairs, locking the door and setting the alarm.

Stripping yourself of your clothes, you crawl into your bed, and grab her pillow. You quickly turn off the lights and place your phone on the nightstand. You breathe in the scent of her on the sheets and as your eyes grow heavy you wonder what you could have done differently, that could have made her stay.

—

The faint knocking sound causes your eyes to spring open. Am I dreaming? You sit up in the bed, listening in the pitch black bedroom to see if you hear it again. You glance at the clock. 1:20.

Knock, knock.

Who the hell?

You slide out of bed, and realize you’re only in your boxers. You grab your pants from the floor and pull them on in a shimmy as you step into the hallway making your way to the front door. You disarm your security system, and clear your throat.

As you open the front door, your eyes widen as you see Y/N standing on the porch.

“Y/N, what are you doing? It’s so late…How long have you been knocking?” you ask.

“I’m so sorry Jake. I…I know it's late. I’m sorry I woke you up. I tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.” she says nervously.

“I probably slept right through it… Come on, come inside. How long have you been out there?” you ask.

“Ten minutes maybe? I was about to give up.” she says, stepping through the doorway.

You shut the door behind her, locking it and making your way back to your bedroom.

“I…” you pause. “...I missed you. I tried to call you. Text you… I was worried about you.” you say quietly.

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was just so… mad. Maybe not even mad, more, embarrassed that you saw all this happen. I just needed to go be embarrassed alone, which actually turned into a lecture from Sam, and then Elle.” she laughed.

Music to your ears.

“A lecture?” you questioned.

“Kind of, yeah. I think I am just a really big idiot. For some reason I convinced myself that you only wanted me to move in because you felt like I had no other option and you just felt bad for me or something. I felt like the situation was forcing your hand. But now, I realize how stupid that is. I feel like subtly you’ve been asking me to move in for a few weeks.” she says.

“Y/N… I didn’t ask you to move in because I thought you had no other choice. I asked you because I love you. I want to see you, here, everyday. Sure, maybe I never flat out asked, but I think I was just waiting until I felt like it was the right time for you. Until I felt like I knew if I asked you, there would be no hesitation in your response. So, yeah, I did ask you today, but only because I love you and care about you and don’t want you to ever have to worry about paying your rent, paying your bills, moving home… any of that. Just live with me. We will figure out the rest.” you finish, running your hand over her arm.

Her eyes meet yours, blinking slowly, “Okay.”

“Okay? Okay yes? Okay you’ll move in?” you ask, a grin spreading across your face.

She smiles back at you, “Okay yes, I’ll move in with you.”

You pull her into your chest, wrapping your hand around her head, you place a kiss to her hair. “I love you so much. I swear you’ll never have to worry about another thing, ever again.” you promise.

“I love you too. You know I couldn’t stay away from you. Not for long.” she whispers against your chest. “Can we…go to bed? I think today was the longest day of my life.”

You pull away from her, lacing your hand with hers before pulling it up to your lips. “Let’s go to bed. Our bed.” you say with a smile, pulling her down the hallway and through the door.

—

SAM POV

As you push the front door closed you find the house still lively, even for the late hour.

“Elle?” you call out, listening to hear a reply.

“I’m in here Sammy!” she yells, indicating she’s in the sunroom.

You set your things by the door and make your way through the house, flipping a few lights off as you go. You step into the sunroom, and see her lounging across the couch flipping through the pages of a magazine.

“Hey babe!” she says, sitting up from the cushions. “How was your meeting? Everything okay?” she asks.

“Honestly, no. Y/N got fired, and I thought maybe if we all met up we could figure out a plan or something to change their minds. But, the company just wouldn’t budge. She broke her contract. But then, it evolved into something else entirely. Something else way bigger and…” you pause, “I need to talk to you about something.”

She puts her hand on your leg and looks at you, eyes full of concern. “What Sammy?”

You run your hands through your hair, and swallow nervously trying to find the right combination of words. “Well, Andy is…back.”

“Y/N’s ex, Andy?!” she shrieks.

“Yeah… has been following us around for a few months.” you confess.

“Sam, what?! Does–Does Y/N know? Oh my god?” she panics.

“No! She doesn’t. And you can’t tell her. Jake will be furious. He hasn’t told her.” you beg.

“Sam…This is… a bad idea. She…she is going to be furious. Livid, even.” she says.

“At first, I agreed with Jake. Maybe it was just a random one time coincidence. But then we started seeing him at more and more shows…It stopped being a coincidence. He was in Michigan just a few weeks ago. Followed us here to Nashville too.” you offer.

“What?! How do you know that?” she asks.

“Josh and Danny got into a fight with him a few days ago. Roughed up Danny’s face pretty good. Pulled a fucking knife on him…” you pause. “That’s why Jake doesn’t want her to know. He doesn't want her to live in fear at her every move.”

“Sam. This is not going to play out how you all think it will. She is entitled to know about this. He can’t protect her all the time…” she says sternly.

“I know, I know. Which is why I am telling you. I want you to know. I want you to be safe and aware of your surroundings when I’m not with you. I mean… you were there that night at the bar too. He hurt you too.” you plead.

You can see her mind replaying that night as a tiny crease forms between her brows. You take her hand in yours and kiss her knuckles. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you until now. Josh told us we should tell you both immediately but, we didn’t. I realize that was a mistake and I hope you can understand why I did it. I love you so much Elle, I just…want to protect you, you know?” you ask.

“I’m not happy with you, Sam. I’m sad that you didn’t tell me. I’m more sad that you guys haven't told Y/N, though. She is going to be so upset. I really think she deserves to be aware. If he pulled a knife on Danny, imagine what he would do to Y/N. She needs to be able to protect herself if one of you guys isn’t there, you know? However, I get why you didn’t tell her. It would stress her out so bad… I get it, I do, really. Your intentions were good. It’s just a double edged sword.” she says.

“Can you forgive me?” you ask.

“I will. I just need to be mad for a little bit.” she says. You feel your heart drop a bit, but you know she can’t stay mad at you for long, even if she should.

“Promise me that you won’t tell Y/N. Let Jake do it?” you ask.

“I…can’t promise that Sammy. She’s my best friend…” she trails off.

“Please Elle. I… just need you to promise me.” you plead.

“I will think about it. I just think Jake needs to say something, quickly, because it seems like he’s becoming more empowered the closer he gets to her. God, haven’t you guys ever watched Criminal Minds?!” she says.

You laugh and nod your head, “Yes…Yes and you are right. I will talk to Jake. Kind of…nudge him to tell her. Promise.” you say.

“Thanks baby.” she says, voice dripping with sweetness.

“Okay…We good?” you ask, nervously.

She leans over and presses a kiss to your lips, “We’re good, babe.”

“I’m gonna go take a shower, you staying in here?” you ask.

“Is that an invitation?” she replies.

“Mmm…Always…”

ELLE POV

You flipped the shower handles to extra hot, just how the both of you liked it. Sam’s shower wasn’t the best setup for two people; it was a little bit cramped and on the smaller side, but you always made it work. You stood in front of the mirror, tossing up your long waves on top of your head and wrapping a tie around the messy bun.

Sam stood behind you in the mirror, already shirtless and eyeing you while you worked your hair. You smirked at him as he caught your eyes, and you watched as he pulled his shorts and underwear off, letting them fall to the floor without ever breaking away from your stare. Suddenly he was pressed against your back, his hands softly searching your body, feeling your curves underneath your oversized t-shirt.

He reached to the hem of it, pulling it up and over the swell of your breasts, resting the shirt on your chest while he brought his lips to meet your neck. He kissed slowly, sensually, leaving a wet trail from your shoulder to right under your ear. Your arm flew up to tangle in his messy hair, and you pulled on it slightly, something that drove him absolutely insane.

“Mmm…pull it again, baby.” He murmured into your ear. You obliged. He snaked his hand down in between your breasts, lightly trailing his finger from there to your navel, and then into your panties. His finger slipped between your folds, teasing you with every move he made. His hand was warm on your already yearning core, and you were begging for more of his touch.

You leaned back into him, feeling his dick hardening against you. He picked at the hem of your t-shirt again, this time pulling it up and over your head. He switched sides, kissing the opposite side of your neck now.

Fuck, if you weren’t still so upset with him, you could really give him a show right now.

“Sam…” you said, feeling breathless already.

“Hmmm?” He hummed into your ear.

“Have we ever had mad sex?” You asked.

He popped his head back up, detaching his lips. “What?”

“I’m really still upset with you…I mean, we’re good but, I’m still pissed. I can hardly look at you right now…” you said, seeing where your words would take you. “And it’s really hard because…you’re really fuckin turning me on right now…”

“You can hardly look at me right now, hmm? That’s interesting.” He breathed, removing his hand from your underwear. “Let’s get in the shower. Wash fast.”

A few minutes later after a boring and quick shower full of no touching at all, but more avoiding each other’s looks, you were towel drying off in the bathroom.

“Still can’t stand to look at me?” Sam asked.

You shook your head. “I really am still pissed, Sam.”

“I know it.” He paused. “Still very fucking turned on, too?”

“Unfortunately.” You admitted.

You walked out into the bedroom, feeling him following close behind. He walked over to your drawer, and pulled out a soft scarf, one you saved for the warmer months.

“This will help you not have to look at me, since you can’t stand me right now.” He said pompously.

“Sam, are you really going to blindfold me?” You said, feeling like the situation could be either silly as all get out, or extremely sexy.

“No babe. You’re going to blindfold you.” He pulled his hair into a loose bun at his neck, pulling at the sides to loosen it. You knew what that meant. He dangled the scarf in front of your face. “Unless you want me to leave, and you can just take care of yourself…”

You thought for a second. “Mmm, no…I think I want your help…” you took the scarf from his hand, giving him a dissatisfied look of defeat as you walked over to the bed, sat on the edge, and wrapped the scarf around your eyes.

“Is it tied nice and snug?” He asked.

You nodded. “Mmhmm.”

“Good. Tie it tighter.” He demanded. Cocky fucker. You huffed, and took the two trailing ends of the scarf and tightened them just a bit more. “There, happy now?”

“Oh I’m happy, but I wanna make you happier…” he said.

You felt the bed press down beside you as he sat, pushing you slowly backwards onto the bed. He quickly undid the towel that was tucked at your chest, exposing your naked and half-wet body.

“God baby, your body is just….” He trailed off, clicking his tongue. Suddenly his hands were underneath your armpits, pushing you to the top of the bed. You giggled at the surprise, still unable to see anything at all. You felt his body leaned over yours, his tongue drifting slowly from your neck, to your nipples, to your hips…all the places he knew made you writhe.

“Please Sam, hurry up…” you breathed as he teased you for what felt like hours.

“Calm down, love, let me show you I’m sorry…just enjoy…”

Finally he grabbed your knees, pulling your thighs apart with force, and flipping your legs over his shoulders. His mouth immediately buried into you, wasting no time at all teasing anymore.

“Shitttttt Sam…” you breathed as he moved his tongue as deeply as he could inside you, before pulling it out again and moving directly to your clit. The surge of pleasure that flooded you was blinding, already feeling so close from being ready for him earlier.

Suddenly you felt full, as one of his digits entered you as well, slowly pushing in and pulling out as his tongue worked up top. You couldn’t help it, your back arched up, changing the point of contact for his tongue. Your hands met his hair, pulling from his ponytail and loosening the strands. “Mmm babe, I wish I could watch you right now…” you stammered. His free hand massaged the inside of your thigh, his thumb pressing hard into your skin.

“No peeking…” he growled without disconnecting his mouth.

After a few more minutes of torture, bringing you to the brink and then pushing you away again, he pulled back, still working his hand painstakingly slow. “Here’s the deal babe, I can add another finger for you, or I can fuck you. Take your pick.”

You lifted your blindfolded face to him, silently wishing you could see his soaked face, messy hair, and snarky expression in the light of the room.

You breathed a heavy sigh, thrashing your head back down on the bed. “Fuck me Sam. Please.”

“My pleasure, love.” You felt him move to his knees, taking you and flipping you around to your stomach. Ah, your favorite.

He forcefully yanked you up by your hips, and pressed his hand to the middle of your back, signaling you to arch hard for him; this was his favorite visual. You put your face in the sheets, and walked your knees apart a bit, giving him the perfect angle. “That’s it, baby, right there for me.”

It was seconds until his mouth was on you again from behind, spurring you on even more. He stayed there for a little bit until he broke away, placing himself between your legs, teasing your entrance.

“I should’ve blindfolded you, it’s not fair you’re the one in trouble but get to see this whole thing…” you said, turning your head to face him.

“Hey, you agreed to it. Face back down, or I’ll stop right here.” He rumbled, giving you a fair warning.

“Erghhhh.” You whined, placing your face back down. His hands were on your hips again, massaging them sensually as you became more and more aroused.

You felt him begin to tease you again, only allowing himself a couple inches inside before disconnecting and teasing again. You whined again, a pitiful sound that showed him you were begging for him without even using any words.

Finally he lined up, pushing all the way inside, bottoming out with his hands gripping hard on your hips. The feeling made your mind go numb for a few seconds, feeling him already dusting by your sweet spot with the first thrust.

“Goddamn baby, you’re so perfect…” he said through a stifled moan as he stilled himself inside you.

“Show me Sam, show me how perfect I am…” you said. “Please, go.”

You were fully begging him to pick up the pace now, your body pulling him further inside you on its own accord. He continued his thrusts, seemingly deeper and harder each time. You could tell he was enjoying himself as much as you were, given the dirty sounds filling the room.

You felt his hand to your back again, pushing it down toward the bed lightly but forcefully, pressing your stomach all the way down. You kept your back arched as best as you could with the new position. Legs sprawled to the sides, he laid his body weight down on your back, the two of you pressed together flat into the mattress. He remained inside of you, but this new position brought his face beside yours, giving him access to kiss the back of your neck, back, and shoulders.

Instead of thrusting now, he could just grind, moving in tiny circles as your bodies glided together. “Hop up for a sec,” he said, grabbing a pillow to put under your stomach. Fuck yeah. That helped the angle, giving him space to move a little better while still buried deep inside you.

“You feel so fucking good baby, so warm and wet for me…” Sam said, brushing your hair from covering your face, his voice directly in your ear and sending shivers down your entire body. He bit into your ear lobe, eliciting a hiss from you. You did your best to squeeze him, as you felt yourself getting closer. He snaked his hand underneath you, finding your clit right off the bat, giving it rough but calculated swirls with the tip of his finger.

“God Sam, yes…” you howled as you felt yourself reaching the peak, the white heat touching your every nerve ending. You arched just a little bit more, pressing your ass into him and grinding your hips with his to give him a little instigation.

“Yes keep doing that, please…I’m there too baby, fuck…” he said through his teeth as his grinding became more harsh and erratic.

“Please don’t stop…I…” you breathed, your words falling away.

Finally, the two of you reached your releases together, the room filling with obscene sounds as you felt him fill you, deep and hot as you rode them out together.

After you both came down, he let his entire body weight fall on your back, staying sandwiched together with his hand still attached to your heat.

“Baby, you’re soooo…” he trailed off. “Fuckin perfect. I swear.”

He removed himself, flipping you back over to face him. He gently lifted the scarf from your eyes, and you blinked a few times to readjust to the light. You met his eyes, full of love and lust and pure adoration. “I love you more than I could ever explain. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you the truth.” He admitted.

“S’okay, babe. I will move past it. Just don’t ever keep anything like that away from me ever again, okay? I’m dead serious, Sam.” You replied.

He held up his hand. “I promise. I can’t lose you. Not ever.”

You laid for a minute in silence as he peppered your face with slow kisses. You had to tell Y/N. Tonight. You’d text her when Sam goes to bed. This isn’t fair.

You’d made up your mind, and you were going to tell her about Andy. You didn’t care for the repercussions from the guys, or from Jake. This had to end here.

—

JAKE POV

“I don’t know what you’re not getting Josh, it’s a simple key change.” you spit.

“I’m doing my fucking best, Jacob. Cut me a break, we have been at this for four hours.” he replies.

You turn back to Daniel, “Again.” you instruct, waiting for him to count in.

As the sound roars to life, you wince as Josh misses the mark yet again, but this time you keep playing. You shake your head at him, annoyed that he can’t seem to get it right. You finish out the song, and place your guitar in the stand.

“I’m gonna take a break, I’ll be back. My hand is fucking killing me.” you say, making your way out the door.

You find yourself outside, leaning against the building holding the flame to the tip of a joint.

You inhale the earthy flavored smoke, and let it fill your lungs as you watch the cars pass by. A few minutes later Josh is stepping outside to join you. You scoff at him when he holds his hand out for the joint.

You begrudgingly pass it to him, crossing your arms as you lean back into the brick.

“So you’re pissed at me. Is that it?” he asks, blowing out the smoke.

You turn to look at him, deadpan, “No, what would make you think that…” you reply sarcastically.

“Cut the shit Jake. You know I wasn’t intentionally keeping shit from you. You’re my goddamn twin for Christ sake. Everything was… fucked up. I didn’t even know what to tell you first. Or even how. I was… trying to figure it out.” he offers.

“Something. Anything…” you reply.

It’s quiet for a few minutes, the two of you passing the dwindling joint back and forth.

“I’m sorry, Jake. I know you are in a tough spot with her losing her job. I don’t think any of us really thought it would happen. Then, the whole Andy thing… That dude is a fucking creep Jake. He freaked me out. I… don’t even know what to do.” he confesses.

“It’s okay…I’m not really mad. Just… disappointed. Like you said, you’re my twin…I trust you more than myself sometimes. If I can’t trust you, what do I have left?” you ask.

He nods his head, “Yeah. No, you’re totally right. I fucked you over. I should have told you first. It won’t happen again. I promise.” he says, eyes full of regret.

“We’re good.” you say, offering him a tight smile.

“You sure?” he asks.

“Yeah. She uh… she came back. Last night. Like one in the morning. She agreed to move in with me.” you say nervously.

“Move in?” he asks, shocked.

“Yeah, she was freaking out, man. She was saying she was going to move home and shit. There’s no way. I can’t do this without her anymore. I was going to like, officially ask her or whatever in a few weeks after things settled down a bit, but then all this happened and she said that, so I asked her. I panicked. I couldn’t lose her again, you know? Anyways, she left and said she needed space, apparently talked to Sam, and to Elle, then showed up last night, and said okay that she would move in.” you said.

“She talked to Sam?” he asks.

“Yeah, that's what she said…” you replied.

“Huh, sounds like you owe him a big fucking thank you for whatever he said to her.” he says.

“Yeah…you know, you’re right.” you answer, opening the door to the studio, and letting him walk in.

“Where is that lanky fuck?” you laugh, letting the door shut behind you.

—

Pulling into your driveway later that night, you see her car still parked and you can’t help the smile that parts your lips. As you slip into the front door, you hear her in the shower, humming along to a song, playing loudly from the speaker in the bathroom. Your chest tightens when you realize that this is something you’ll get to hear everyday. You’ll get to see her fresh from the shower, wet hair and plain faced and gorgeous. It won’t be a commodity, it will just be your life now.

You place your keys in the dish, and kick off your boots. You head to the kitchen to grab a beer, and position yourself on your couch, scrolling through the options on the TV. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and you pull it out seeing a new message in the group chat.

Sam:

4:47pm: Why don’t we just hire her as an assistant? She would be in direct employment through us. Do whatever we need her to do. Be with us at all times…

Daniel:

4:49pm: Can we do that?

Josh:

4:50pm: Yeah. We absolutely can do that. Fuck why didn’t I think of that.

Sam

4:51pm: That way she is still “working” and doing the job she loves, without the bullshit contracts and still getting to tour with us.

You:

4:52pm: This would be the best case scenario. That way she is also with us…

Josh

4:53pm: Shit I didn’t think of that either… Yeah. I will call Aaron and talk about logistics. I’ll get back with you.

Daniel

4:54pm: Good idea Sam

You:

4:55pm: Thank you Sammy

Sam

4:56pm: We can’t do this tour without her. Our outfits would always be fucked!!

Daniel

4:57pm: Lol

“Oh my gosh! Jake! You scared me!” she says, stepping out of the bedroom. You shove your phone back into your pocket and laugh.

“Sorry my love, I figured it would be more scary to tell you I was home while you were in the shower.” you smile.

“What are you doing?” she asks, sitting down next to you on the couch.

“I don’t know. I never use this thing…” you say, pointing the remote at the TV.

She smiles at you as you lift your arm, motioning for her to lean into your side. “Oh, we could order in and watch a movie?” she suggests.

You turn to face her and press a soft kiss to her lips, “Whatever you want, lover.”

—

After a box of pad thai, a movie, and a few episodes of a show you don’t even know the name of, you both find yourself drifting off on the soft leather couch.

“Baby, let’s go get in bed. We are both falling asleep.” you say.

She forces her eyes open and throws the blanket off the two of you, pulling herself from your side. “I just sleep so good all curled into your side like that. S’my favorite.” she yawns.

“We’re like ten feet from the bedroom and then you can resume the position. Go ahead, I’m right behind you. I’m just gonna lock up.” you say, helping her from the couch.

She sulks off to the bedroom as you take the leftovers to the kitchen, and lock all the doors. Soon enough you are wrapped in your linen sheets with your girl curled back into your side. You placed your phone on the nightstand and turned off the lamp, letting your eyes close as you wonder how life could get any better than this.

—

Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz.

Your eyes squint open, hearing the incessant buzzing next to your head. You roll to your side and pick up your phone seeing an unfamiliar caller ID.

“Fuck…” you groan. “Fucking people, leave me alone…”

“Hello?” you ask, answering the call.

“Hi, this is April with Sonitrol Security. Is this Mr. Kiszka?” they ask.

“Yeah, this is he…” you reply, voice hoarse.

“Mr. Kiszka, we received an alarm signal at your office building. We are calling to confirm whether this is an actual break in or a false alarm.” she states.

“No. None of us are there, it’s not a false alarm.” you say, sitting up in the bed.

“I will dispatch right away, can you please confirm your four digit passcode and your password?” she asks.

“Oh yeah, it's 3102 and the password is Disraeli.” you answer.

“Excellent thank you Mr. Kiszka. The authorities are on the way to the premises. It would probably be helpful to meet them there to file paperwork.” she adds.

“Thank you.” you say.

“Thank you, have a great evening.” she says, ending the call.

Fuck. What the fuck?

You immediately get up, and put on the clothes you kicked to the floor, dialing Josh’s number as you pull your shirt over your head.

“Answer asshole…” you groan.

The calls rings to voicemail, and you curse as you buckle your belt. You try Sam next.

“Hello?” his voice is still half asleep.

“Sam. Wake up. There was a break in at the office.” you state simply.

“Our office?” he asks, confused.

“Yes. They just called me and told me to meet the police down there. Get dressed and meet me there. Please.” you ask.

“Shit. Okay. See you in a minute.” he says, ending the call.

You press the contact for Daniel, making your way to the other side of the bed. You sit at the edge as you hear him answer.

“Jake…” he groans.

“Hey. The security company just called me and said there was a break in at the office. I am going down there right now to meet the cops. Sam is on his way, and Josh didn’t answer.” you say.

“Shit, seriously?” he asks.

“Yes.” you answer.

“Okay, I’ll meet you there.” he says, ending the call.

You shove your phone into your pocket, and shake her shoulder, “Hey…” you whisper.

She turns on her side and her eyes crack open.

“Hey, I have to go to the office. There was a break in. You stay here, go back to sleep. I will be home soon.” you say, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Be careful…Love you…” slips tiredly through her lips.

“I love you, be back soon.” you say, closing the bedroom door.

As you lock the front door behind you, you make your way to the car, seeing the dashboard read 4:50am. Who the fuck breaks into an office?

The roads are empty at this hour, making quick time to the office as you pull into the parking lot.

There are 4 police cars parked out front, along with the office manager's car. Daniel pulls in a few seconds after you, as you are making your way up to the front door.

“Hello sir, what can I do for you this evening?” the cop says.

“Hey, uh, my name is Jacob Kiskza. This is my office. I got a call we had a break in and to meet you here.” you reply.

“Oh, yeah, great. So, looks like there was a break in. Someone took a rock to this side window here, and busted it out. Inside is a pretty big mess. You guys may need to take a look around and try to take inventory on what's missing.” he says.

Fuck. Why didn't it occur to you that they probably stole shit?

Sam walks up seconds later, still half asleep. “We have to go look inside to see what’s gone.” you said, stepping through the front doors.

The place is a bit of a mess, you can tell that the storage cabinets were gone thorough and things were missing.

“Has anyone talked to Josh?” you ask, stepping around the piles of cords on the floor.

“I called him roughly twenty times as I drove over here, he did finally answer.” Sam said.

“Is he coming?” you ask.

“Yeah, he was on his way.” he replied.

“Tech equipment was cleaned out.” Danny says, making his way back over to you.

“The conference room laptop is gone too.” he adds.

“Fuck man, what loser did this shit…” you scoff.

“Jake…” Sam says from across the room.

Your eyes flick over to his, suddenly full of sadness.

You look to where he is standing, right next to the kit. “Oh fuck… don’t….don’t even say it…” you plead, walking quickly to join him.

“God damnit!” you yell, smacking your hand on the wall.

“Of every fuckin’ thing in here it had to be that!” you continue.

Your very first SG. The one you learned on. The one you picked out with your dad, what feels like a million years ago. You always knew you should have kept it at home with the others. You put too much trust into this place. Now, she’s gone.

“Jake I’m sure we’ll find it, I bet–” Sam starts.

“We will never see it again. I guarantee it. It’s fucking gone.” you pause, seeing Josh walk through the door.

“What the fuck is going on here?” he asks.

“Some piece of shit broke into the office.” Sam says. “His guitar is gone.”

Josh looks over to you, knowing full well, how important that guitar was to you. “The one dad bought?” he asks.

You bite your lips together, “Yeah…” you reply solemnly. You run your hand over your face, cussing through a breath.

“Can we pull the footage?” Daniel asks, pointing the camera in the corner of the room.

“I think they are already trying. I talked to the office manager a minute ago. Said they would text me the footage.” Josh answered.

“I can’t fucking believe it.” you said, staring at the empty stand.

“We have to make a list of everything missing so that we can talk to the insurance company. Jake, I know you don’t want to hear it but, we have to keep looking to see what else is gone.” Josh says.

Sam and Danny walk away, continue to take inventory of the collection of rooms, as Josh walks over to meet you.

“We will find it, Jake. I promise.” he says, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“It was my first one. First one that was really me. Really mine, you know? Thought it was safe here. If I knew I would have kept it at home with the others.” you say. “They are going to pawn it like it’s some cheap piece of nothing. It has no meaning to them. They don’t even know…”

“We will find out who stole it. We will get it back.” Josh promises.

You turn to look at him, and nod as you step away from the scene of the crime.

An hour or so later, you are wrapping up with the police who will be waiting for the footage pulled from the cameras. You all collectively agreed that you will be pressing charges as soon as the person is found, and charge them to the fullest extent.

It’s close to daylight as you pull out of the lot, the sick feeling in your stomach still present as you head back home. Sure, it’s just a guitar, but, for most of your life it was your number one. Your only one.

As you step through your front door, the light is just starting to peek over the horizon. You leave your keys in the dish and your shoes by the door, returning to the dark bedroom, with a sigh.

“Hey babe, is everything okay?” her soft voice drifting towards you.

“Hey baby. No, not really. Someone broke in. Stole a bunch of stuff. Stole my guitar.” you reply.

“Your guitar? Your fancy one?” she asks.

You smile, “No. Not the fancy one. I keep those here. It was actually my first electric. My dad bought it for me when we were kids.” you answer.

“Oh, Jake. I’m sorry. I bet we’ll find it soon.” she says, rolling over to face you.

You strip your clothes back off, and place your phone on the nightstand, ready to go back to sleep.

“I’m not going to lie. I am pretty upset about it. I’m not sure I will ever see it again. Maybe one day though.” you sigh.

Your phone buzzes before you even have a chance to get back into bed.

Josh

5:56am: Attachment - Video

Josh

5:57am: Jake… I think we know who has your guitar.

As you let the video play your breath hitches in your throat. Surely not? You try your best to zoom in on the footage, trying to make absolutely sure. Suddenly your phone is buzzing in your hand.

“Hey.” you answer.

“Dude, it’s fucking him. Tell me you see it.” Josh says.

“Yeah I see it. Was just trying to zoom in and make sure.” you reply.

“No! I know that face anywhere. It’s him. He is fucking insane.” he says.

“You’re right about that. I will call you later, okay?” you press.

“Later.” he says, ending the call.

You slip into the bed, and turn to face her. “It was who?” she asks.

You feel your heart stop for a second as you scramble to respond.

“Oh that was Josh.” you answer.

“No. I know that. He said, ‘it’s fucking him’. I heard it.” she says, sitting up on her elbow.

“It’s so late. Or early. Whatever. Can we talk about it in the morning?” you ask, hoping she will concede.

“Who was it Jake?” she asks.

“Y/N….” you plead.

“You know. You know who it was. Why won’t you tell me?” she asks.

“Because I… I don’t want to freak you out! I…” you stammer.

“Why would it freak me out Jake?” she pauses, standing up from the bed. “What did he mean it’s him? It’s who? Someone I know? Someone you know I know?” she says, raising her voice.

“Y/N, baby, please. Just calm down. I can explain.” you say, sitting up and raising your hands to her.

“It’s fucking Andy, isn’t it. Isn’t it Jake!” she yells, visibly shaking, even in the dim light.

“Fuck, Y/N. Please. Just… Fuck. Yes. Okay? It was. It was Andy. He threw a rock through our window and stole a bunch of shit.” you answer.

“How does he know where your office is, Jake?” she yells.

“I don’t know. I… don’t know. He has been around.” you confess.

“Around?! Around where!?” she says, backing herself into the wall.

You rub your hands across your face, shaking your head. What the fuck do I do?

“Well, the first time….Austin. Then, in LA, then–” she cuts you off.

“I’m sorry, Austin?! As in Texas? Where we were in fucking October, Jake?!” she screams.

“Baby, I thought it was a fluke. We all did, we thought he was just in the crowd by coincidence or something…” you plead.

“We all?” she stops you.

You release a sigh knowing you just opened a whole other can of worms. “Yes…We all saw him that night. We didn’t say anything because we didn’t want to scare you.”

“Jake are you fucking kidding me?! You all knew!?” she replies.

“I wanted to tell you… I–I just was more worried about keeping you safe. Keeping you away from him. Who knows when this even really started. After Austin we just started actually seeing him, and actively checking for him.”

“Jake this is….” she says waving her hand in the air. “This is why all the extra security, and the rushing back to hotels, and the never letting me go anywhere alone…. Suddenly it’s all making sense… this has been happening for months, right under my own nose. You lied to me!” she yells.

“I didn’t lie, Y/N. I just didn’t tell you that we saw him.” you reply.

“That’s the same fucking thing as lying to me! Where else did you see him Jake...” she asks.

You sighed, completely conceding to her questions now. “We saw him again in LA. Then, at Thanksgiving, you thought you saw him. I knew it had to be him. Then that weird shit at Christmas….and the texts…” you said shaking your head. “He got into it with Danny and Josh the other day in a fucking alley. He threatened them! How was I supposed to tell you that without freaking you out!?” you ask.

“You’ve known for months, and you just weren’t going to tell me? Those weird unknown number texts? Those were him? Oh my god, he’s stalking me isn’t he? That day I swore it was him at the shops… You let me think I was crazy Jake! After I told you everything? How could you?!” she asks, cries busting forward from her chest.

“I… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I was just trying to protect you!” you yell. You quickly regain your composure, knowing full well that she was already scared.

“After your nightmare in LA, I was…torn up. I just wanted to keep you safe from him. Imagine if I would have told you then, that we’d seen him…you would’ve been so terrified at every turn… We didn’t even know the extent of his stalking yet. I just… felt like it was better if you didn’t know. Which is stupid, and wrong and I am so fucking sorry, I just didn’t know what else to do. I thought we could handle it without getting you involved.” you beg. “We went about it all the wrong ways, and I know that now, and I feel so stupid, I’m so sorry Y/N. We shouldn’t have kept that from you. It wasn’t our place.”

“No, you absolutely should not have kept that from me. Jake this is so beyond messed up. You lied to me. Deceived me. How can I ever trust you again?” she says, grabbing her things and shoving them into a bag.

“Baby, no. What are you doing?” you say, rushing to her side.

“I can’t stay here. I won’t. I won’t stay with someone who lies to me. Someone I can’t trust. You said you loved me. This isn’t love Jake. This is control… and deceit!” she snaps. “I can’t even look at you, I'm so mad.”

“Y/N, please. Don’t go. Just stay. Talk to me. We can figure this out.” you beg, reaching for her hand.

“No. Don’t touch me! There’s nothing to figure out. You’re a liar! What else have you lied to me about, huh!” she yells, ripping her hand from yours. “All of you…lied to me for months! And Sam?! He knew too? And didn’t tell me…” she trailed off, her actions in a frenzy. “How can I trust any of you?! Does Elle even know? Because he fucking put his hands on her too, if you even remember. God this is so fucked up.”

She grabs her purse, digging out her car keys and finding the key you gave her yesterday. She fumbles with it, unlooping it from the keyring and tossing it across the room. “Keep it. I don’t want it!” she yells as the key bounces off the floor, clanking around until it finds its place in the corner.

You shudder at the sound. “Y/N, please, just sit for a second. He broke into our office, who knows where he even is now? He could be out there waiting for you!” you say.

“I can handle myself!” She screamed. “I’m not a child, Jacob!”

“He pulled a fucking knife on Danny, Y/N, okay? He’s dangerous! He isn’t fucking around!” You tried not to yell, but you needed to drive that part home.

“You don’t think I know he’s dangerous, Jake? Were you the one that had to hide bruises on your arms for months? Got your head bashed into a wall at a crowded bar? Hm? Hid yourself in a bathroom while he tried to break the door down? Not to mention all of the hundreds of other stories I haven’t even told you about because it makes me sick to my fucking stomach to even think about them?! There’s more, Jake. There’s so much more.” She shifted her weight, shaking her head.

“I’ve taught myself how to be on the lookout. I know what it feels like if he’s in my presence. I walk with my keychain in my hand constantly in case I ever have to use my self defense weapon. I’m not stupid, Jake.” She shoved the last of her things into her bag.

“I understand, baby. I’m so sorry…please just don’t make any irrational decisions right now.” You begged.

“Irrational? Irrational!? How am I supposed to act Jacob? You just told me that my highly abusive ex is stalking me, and has been for months. Not only that but he is threatening you, my friends, me… and everyone knows except for me? You think that’s okay?!” she screams.

“No! I don’t think it’s okay, but I didn’t see another way!” you yell.

She throws her bag over her shoulder, wiping the tears from her eyes, as she reaches around her neck to unclasp her necklace.

No...

“No. Y/N. Please, don’t do this. Please…” you beg, watching her slide the pendant from her neck and tossing it onto the bed.

Your eyes well with tears, as you watch hers fall. “Jake…I don’t know what to say. I never thought you’d hurt me like this. You were the one person…I thought I could trust…” she trails off.

You rush over to her, grabbing her face in your hands. She turns her face away from you, her cheeks wet from tears. “I am so sorry. Please…please don’t go. I promise you can trust me. I love you. I love you more than anything. We will figure this out. I…I’ll do whatever it takes…” you wrap her in your arms, a one last ditch attempt to physically hold her to you.

She pulls out of your arms, “Let me go. I have to go.”

She hurries out of the front door, only the chime ringing through the house letting you know she was ever really there.

You collapse onto the floor, unable to hold your own weight up. You clutched the tiny daisy necklace in your hand, knowing you really lost her this time.

—

How many times is she going to leave before she’s gone for good?

You sat collapsed on the floor, sitting with your head in your hands and your elbows on your knees for what felt like hours, running over the past five months over and over in your head. You should have told her. You should have given her warning. Josh was right.

But you didn’t, and it backfired in a way that you weren’t sure you were going to be able to clean up. How could you apologize your way out of this one? Was it even possible? It felt like all of the blood had drained from your body, and you sat lifeless on the rug of your bedroom floor, letting yourself feel the guilt completely.

Suddenly your phone buzzed on your nightstand, a single text notification that woke you from your self-pity. You drug yourself up from the floor, reaching for your phone and hoping it was her.

Sam.

You swiped the text open, finding a fairly long message from him.

Sam

7:21am: Y/N just called Elle…sounded pretty bad. I told Elle about Andy yesterday, I’m guessing she sat on it for a day and didn’t tell Y/N, either. I know you guys got into it pretty badly, and she left. Just go chase her, Jake. Gotta make it right.

Comprehending his text was proving to be difficult. It was blurry through your tired, glassy eyes, and you were so exhausted it felt like you’d been hit by a truck. But he was right, you had to make this right. Everything was your fault, and you hated yourself for fucking things up, again. It was now or never. Losing her for good might kill you.

You stood up, putting your clothes back on and wiping your eyes free from the wetness that had collected in them. You hadn’t really cried, just let yourself feel way too many feelings at once. You ran to the front door and put your shoes back on quickly, grabbed your keys from the dish, and sprinted down the walk to your car.

You felt like you couldn’t get to her fast enough, like something was pulling you toward her again. Something intense. You dashed through the morning commute traffic, whipping in and out of lanes and backstreets on the quickest route to her.

She’s not getting away again. Not ever.

——

HER POV

You slammed the door to Jake’s house a little harder than intended, but you couldn’t care less. You made a dizzy mad dash to your car, hitting the unlock button on your keys way before you even got there. The tears were falling hard, and you felt absolutely obliteratingly sad. When you finally made it to the driver’s seat, you locked the doors behind you, stuck the key in the ignition, and started the car. One last look to Jake’s door gave you nothing but a worse feeling; you half expected him to be running after you.

You pulled off down the street like a bat out of hell, trying to make it to the safety of your apartment as quickly as you could. Everything is falling apart.

Your phone was still lodged somewhere in your purse, so you blindly dug through all of the other items you’d thrown in there before you left Jake’s house. After you finally grabbed it, you opened the lock screen, being met with a photo of you and Jake huddled together on the couch, smiling cheek to cheek, a selfie you’d soon be deleting.

You’d gotten a text from Elle late last night, but you were already asleep. ‘Call me’ was all it read. You hit the phone symbol on her contact, listening as the tone rang and rang, with no answer on the other end.

Shit.

You needed her. You needed to tell her. She deserved to know that Andy was back. Or, did she already know?

You sped through traffic and finally pulled into your apartment parking lot. You pulled into your spot, turning the car off and sitting there, unable to pull yourself out. The comforting feeling of your vehicle was always something that made you feel safe; a little home away from home where you could let all of your emotions fly, and no one would ever see.

What is happening? Why is this all happening? Your best friends in the world whom you’ve loved and trusted your whole life…not even having the decency to tell you your stalker was back with a vengeance. The love of your life didn’t even bother to inform you…well, not love of your life anymore, you don’t suppose.

After another good and hearty cry, you pulled yourself from the driver’s seat and grabbed your purse. You’d get the rest later. You just wanted to lock yourself in your bedroom, turn your phone off and shut the world out. And that’s exactly what you were going to do.

Before you could leave the lot, Elle was calling you back.

“Hello?” You answered, voice scratchy from crying.

“Hey, hun. You okay? Sorry I missed you earlier...” she said.

You sat back down in your car.

“No, not really Elle. Andy is back. He has been back for months. He’s following me again. And get this, all the guys knew it, and none of them told me. Apparently he’s been coming to shows since September, sneaking around in the crowd and everything. Did Sam tell you about the break in last night? And Jake’s guitar getting stolen?” you pause.

“Well it was fucking Andy who did it. Ugh I don’t know Elle, I’m so mad and feel so betrayed, I left Jake’s. I’m back at my apartment now.” You went on, your words spewing out. “I’m honestly not sure if I’m going to go back, Elle.” You sighed.

“Did you know? Did they leave you in the dark, too?” You asked, hoping to hear that she hadn’t been hiding it from you too.

“Sam told me yesterday, and that’s why I texted you last night. I was going to tell you. They hadn’t told me either, Y/N. Probably because they knew I wouldn’t keep their secret.” She said quietly.

“Fuck. I can’t believe I missed your text, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do, Elle. I’m so infuriated.” You confessed.

“You have every single right to be mad at him, Y/N. Mad at all of them. Without a doubt. That was not a good decision on their part. I completely agree with you.” She said.

“Okay, so I’m not crazy for blowing up?” You asked.

“No, you’re not crazy this time.” She giggled. “But no, I’m actually pretty fucking mad at Sam, too. This should not have been something they kept from us. Not in the least.” She said through a sigh.

“You’re right.”

“Go inside, hun. Take a bath, cool off a bit, I’ll call you later.” Elle said, her voice laced with comfort.

“Okay. I will.” You said.

“Oh, Y/N? You know Jake didn’t mean to hurt you, right? He would never intentionally hurt you. None of them would. He had good intentions, hiding this from you…though he went about it the wrong way. He was just trying to protect you like he always has. Don’t shut him out, okay?” She lamented.

You sighed. “I’ll try, Elle. Love you.” And you hung up the phone.

Again, you grabbed your purse and locked your car door, and headed down the short sidewalk to your apartment door. Your stomach suddenly began doing flip flops, you felt lightheaded and dreadful, blaming it on the severity of the situation hitting you all at once. You reached the porch, and fumbled with the keys, dropping them on the wooden porch with a clank.

“Shit.” You mumbled, reaching down to retrieve them. Before you could grasp them, they were kicked across the porch underneath you, your only means of self-defense sliding across the wood into the corner. When you stood, you were met with a familiar face, one you could live a million lifetimes not ever seeing again.

“Hey there, gorgeous. Happy to see me?” The tall, blonde haired, light-eyed man you’d once loved, now standing on your front porch, eyeing you like a piece of meat he wanted to devour.

“Andy, what the fuck are you doing here. Get the hell off of my porch right now.” You seethed, suddenly feeling helpless and defensive at the same time.

“Oh now, I thought you’d be excited to see me? It’s been so long, you know. Thought we could catch up…” he said, slowly taking steps toward you.

You felt a lump growing in your throat. “No, it hasn’t been long.” You swallowed, trying to stay strong. “I know you’ve been back. I know you’ve been following me all over the country.”

“Hmmm…your rockstar boyfriend and his compadres finally tell you their little secret? Damn, I didn’t think it’d take them this long…”

“Andy, I told you to get off my property, please. I’m going inside. I need you to leave.” You said, your breathing becoming more rapid the closer he got to you.

“But I just got here, baby. Can’t we just talk a little bit?” He said, flitting his eyelashes to you. This was absolutely not the same man you fell in love with all those years ago. He had changed, exponentially.

“No, I don’t want to talk to you. Please leave, or I’m calling the police.” You warned.

“Hah, the police? You think I’m scared of the cops?” He scoffed.

“You should be, I know they’re out searching for you right now…we know it was you that broke into the office and stole all their stuff….you should’ve stolen the security cameras, too, if you wanted to stay hidden.” You spat. “I thought you were a little smarter than that, Andy.”

For a split second, you thought you saw him flinch, a minute expression of second-guessing himself…perhaps feeling a little bit of fear? You capitalized on it.

“Actually, after the cops identified you, we told them you’d been stalking me for months, told them the severity of it…they agreed to drive by multiple times a day to do wellness checks on me here, especially today when they know you’re in town.” You pressed.

His eyes began zipping back and forth in thought, he licked his lips continually and he ran his hand through his hair. Who even is this man?

“Let me go the fuck inside my house, Andy!” You yelled.

Suddenly he had his body pressed up against you, your wrist clenched in his hand, and the sharp blade of a knife pressed against your neck.

“Shut the fuck! Up! Y/N! Do you ever stop fucking talking?!” he screamed.

You could feel the cold metal on your jugular as you swallowed, trying to contain yourself as you stepped back, catching your breath in pure terror.

“You’re going to listen to me now, do you understand? Everything I tell you to do, you’re going to do without argument. Or else this knife will be put to use.” he threatened.

You consented, nodding slowly with the blade still to your throat. You shouldn’t have pushed him. He walked you to the edge of the porch, and instructed you to pick up your keys, and find the correct one to open your door.

“Don’t even think about it…” he growled in your ear as he noticed your self defense keychain hanging from the ring.

You winced, seeing it so close but unable to use it. You prayed someone would walk by and see you, but your apartment door was hidden well, in a concave part of the building tucked away from sight.

You nervously found the key, and he walked you back to the front door. Your hands shook as you slipped it into the lock, turning it to release.

“No fucking funny business.” He said as you entered the large studio style room, dropping your keys and purse on the table by the door. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute, and your brain was wild trying to think on your toes at every TV show you’d ever watched, every bit of self defense you’d ever learned, and trying your best to stay calm while outsmarting him.

When you got inside, he turned and closed the door behind him, walking you over to your small dining table. “Sit.” He demanded.

You did as he asked, placing yourself gently in a chair, eyes scanning the table for anything you could find in case you needed it. Immediately, he pulled a small zip tie from his pocket and tied your hands together in your lap. Nothing new here, unfortunately.

“Why are you here, Andy? What do you want from me?” You asked.

He pulled the opposite chair close to you, taking a seat and facing you. “Mmm, don’t you remember all the good times we had, baby? Back at college, spending all that time together?”

He pressed, taking the knife away from your throat, and tracing it down your cheek. “Don’t you want to be that way again? Just you and me, like old times…”

“We were really crazy about each other, weren't we Y/N? Had such great times together…made beautiful love…” the knife continued to trace your features slowly, gently pressing into your skin every few seconds.

“We were, Andy. But that was years ago. And I don’t know if it would be considered making love, all those times you forced me…and all the other awful things you did to me. I didn’t forget.” You said bravely.

“You don’t think I loved you, Y/N? Of course I did…everything I did I did out of love, don’t you understand that? My temper sometimes just…got in the way. But you always forgave me, didn’t you baby? Always came crawling back to me…you couldn’t resist…” he spattered.

The closer he got to your face, the more you could tell that he’d been drinking. Of course. His actions didn’t mirror it, strangely enough, but you could smell it on his breath.

“Don’t you miss the love we made, Y/N?” He asked, trailing the knife down your arm, onto your side and finally up and down your bare legs. You felt your heart rate spike at the strange contact, the blade gently scaling the sensitive parts of your legs.

“There’s no way he gives it to you better than I did…no way he can fuck you better…don’t you remember, Y/N? Tell me…tell me I was the best…” the blade of the knife turned suddenly, piercing a deep slit in your thigh.

You winced at the pain, blood immediately dropped down the side of your leg. “Fuck Andy! What the hell is wrong with you?! Get the hell away from me!”

You began to scream, too stunned to move your arms, or push him away at all. Your vision began to go blurry with nerves and fear, you felt your body begin to try and protect itself, fight or flight coming into play. This feeling was one you had felt a hundred times before with him, every bone in your body preparing itself for whatever physical or mental infliction he was about to drop on you.

“Tell me I was the best for you! Tell me I’m better than he is! Tell me, Y/N!” He yelled in your face, spit escaping his mouth.

“You weren’t, Andy! You never were. He was always the best, a million times better to me than you could ever think about being!” You yelled, but fairly calmly, deciding to not match his insane energy.

He stood towering over you, pushing down hard on your shoulders and pinning you to the chair against the wall. “Don’t you fucking move Y/N or I swear to god you won’t leave this apartment!” He yelled, his liquor soaked breath spitting in your face.

“I’m not fucking scared of you Andy! Not anymore!” You yelled back, using all of your body weight to counteract him, standing and shoving yourself into him. You brought your knee directly to his groin fast and hard, momentarily stunning him into pain. He fell to one knee, grabbing himself and choking. You used that opportunity to try and get away, but he’d fallen right between you and the table and a mess of chairs, so stepping over him was your only option.

So you took it, leaping high over him as best you could with your hands still tied. He grabbed your leg while you were in mid air, pulling you down and into the table, your face hitting the edge of it as you fell. You put your hands to the floor to brace yourself for the fall, but his pull was too fast, and you hit your head hard on the floor.

“You bitch!” He screamed, as he crawled over top of you on the floor, pinning you down again. You couldn’t move, all his body weight was holding you down. You felt blood dripping from your nose and down the side of your cheek, and you finally gave in and looked up at him as he held you down. He was crushing your chest and your lungs, making it hard to breathe.

Your vision was blurring again, your breaths low and shallow as he crushed you. You fought with everything you had in you. He reached over, finding his knife that had fallen to the floor. The last thing you saw before you closed your eyes was the glint of the silver blade flashing off the twinkle lights hanging in your kitchen.

They look like…stars…

Your brain began to go fuzzy, the lack of oxygen taking effect. You winced, preparing yourself for pain.

Suddenly, you heard your front door swing open, the knob hitting into the wall with force. “Hey, get the fuck off of her!”

Jake.

It stunned Andy, temporarily taking his attention away from you. Suddenly Andy’s weight was off of you, and your lungs were able to fill with air again. You inhaled sharply, choking and catching your breath as your vision returned. All you heard was a loud crash as you watched Jake tackle Andy across the room, their bodies flying into the wall in a mess of flailing limbs.

Deja vu. Somehow, after a few seconds of fighting, Andy rolled in the same manner that he had just had you in, sitting on top of Jake as he pinned him in the corner of the wall and floor, Jake fighting and screaming beneath him.

“Well, well, well…if it isn’t little Jakey here to rescue his lady. You here to get your ass kicked in front of your girlfriend again, Jake?” Andy seethed as he hit Jake with an open palm across the face.

You watched as Andy took his blade again, this time holding it against Jake’s throat, his other hand across his neck, fingers digging in and squeezing. Jake’s legs squirmed and kicked below him as you listened to him fight for air. His hands were pounding into Andy’s sides and face, his legs flailing and hitting into the floor, but to no avail. Andy had him pinned.

You were stunned, planted in one spot unable to move. All the fear and panic that Andy had driven into you for so many years crashing back down onto you. You’d been his puppet, dangling from his strings for years on end, the way he lived in the very back crevices of your brain, making you fear for your life at every turn.

You finally made it to your feet, stumbling in pain from your harsh fall. Your eyes met Jake’s as he silently pleaded with you. His face had gone bloodshot, the life falling from his eyes as his movements began to slow, and his eyes began to close. Finally, his limbs steadied, his body falling still.

No.

Not fucking today, Andy.

You grabbed at the chair that had fallen to the floor, your hands still tied tightly at the wrists. The back of the heavy wooden chair was sturdy, thankfully, and you took it in your grasp as best you could. In a fit of rage and adrenaline, you lifted it high behind you, and forcefully pulled it down onto Andy’s back and head with all of the strength you had left in your body.

It knocked Andy sideways off of Jake as he screamed out in pained surprise. He turned to face you, but you were already ready, the chair lifted high above you again. You crashed the chair onto him again, pushing him from his knees to his stomach. This time, you made sure it would hurt.

Jake coughed and gasped beside you, air filling his lungs again as he gripped his throat. Andy was knocked out. You dropped the chair and you fell to your knees next to Jake, trying your best to see if he was okay, with your hands still tied.

“Baby, baby talk to me. Jake! Are you okay!?” You patted his body and face as he came back to. “Jacob, talk to me! I’m right here…”

He looked at you with his eyes wide, quickly nodding as he sat up and took you in his arms. “I’m okay, I’m okay baby.” He stammered, his voice still shaky and his breathing labored. As the two of you regained composure and let your heart rates settle a bit, you both looked to Andy, passed out on the floor of your kitchen.

Jake slowly stood up, walked over to him carefully, and grabbed the knife from the floor beside him, still bloody from cutting your thigh. He walked over to you then, grabbing your hands and pulling you to your feet. He took the blade between your wrists, cutting the zip tie and freeing your hands.

“Thank you.” You whispered. “Let’s get out of here, he won’t stay unconscious for long. We’ve got to call the police.”

The two of you walked outside to the porch, and were met with tons of flashing blue lights and sirens. Three cars had responded, all of the officers were jumping out to run to your door.

“How did they know?” You asked Jake.

“When I got here, I heard you screaming inside. I dialed 911, told them your address quickly, and left my phone in my pocket. They must’ve heard the whole thing.” He stammered out. You glanced to his neck, already turning purple from Andy’s hand.

The officers approached you, asking a thousand questions in a blurry 15 seconds. You and Jake told them the gist of the story as best you could, and two officers went inside your home while the other stood with you.

“An ambulance is on its way, both of you need to get checked out, ok? Don’t take this lightly, it seems you were both deprived of oxygen for enough time to make it count.” He said. You both nodded, agreeing that it probably wasn’t a bad idea.

“I saw you earlier this morning, right? At the office with the burglary?” He asked Jake.

“Yes sir, the guy inside is the one we identified as the one who stole everything.”

“Hmph. Well, I hate that these were the circumstances, but your office is pressing hard charges. We’ve got him, now. You won’t see him for a very long time.” He went on, and you felt immediate relief at his words.

“Oh, and ma’am?” You looked at him, “Good job apprehending the intruder. You did half our job for us.” You nodded as you looked back to Jake, a tiny smile forming on his lips.

“Sir?” Jake said, gesturing to Andy’s knife on the banister.

The officer nodded. “I’ll get an evidence bag.”

The two of you sat down on the porch steps, hand in hand and head to head as you listened to the ambulance sirens approaching. The sun was beating down on your faces, and suddenly everything that had happened to you in the past week was minuscule in contrast to what happened today. Though you still felt some sort of resentment toward Jake, and you still didn’t know how to process it or what was going to happen with you, it paled in comparison to what could have happened today.

He took your hand in his, fingers intermingling as he brushed his thumb on your skin.

“You saved my fuckin life, Y/N.” He whispered, kissing the side of your head, holding his lips there for as long as he could before pulling away.

Your heart fluttered as you took a deep breath, pulling yourself closer into him, “No I didn’t, you were just gonna pass out.” You laughed.

“No, I think you really did, baby.” He said quietly.

For a while, neither of you said much, just basked in the comfort of being there, present and alive, with each other. But you couldn't help the nagging feeling at the back of your mind. Turning to face him, you let your eyes meet his.

“Jake, I think we need to talk…”

Chapter 18

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