#and that is so inspiring to me as an arospec person who like. also wants to have a life partner or a permanent best friend or a fav person

[tomurakii]

I was talking to my sister about being aro and that kind of fear I have that everyone I love will love someone else more because they'll all get partners. And she said I could just "Dan and Phil it". Which I guess I never thought about before? They may not either be aspec but their relationship really is the ideal. They said best friends forever and they meant it.

#im not here to speculate abt their relationship. they are both gay and they live together and thats all we know which is cool #but they have a house and a life together. like even if they arent romantically involved they are each other's most important person #and that is so inspiring to me as an arospec person who like. also wants to have a life partner or a permanent best friend or a fav person #like idk. good for them #and maybe they are dating and just don't wanna say it (valid) but still. perhaps it is possible for me #aromantic #aspec #dan and phil #dan howell #phil lester #lgbt #queer

[citnamora]

pls tell me more abt ur arospec ace attorney headcanons. my personal fav is lovequeer aro phoenix wright 4 loveless aro miles edgeworth.

Lovequeer Phoenix makes me SO happy!!! AND YESSSS LOVELESS ARO EDGEWORTH!!!!!! Aro4aro Narumitsu is hands down my absolute favorite flavor of the ship!! Oh my goodness!!! ARO4ARO SO TRUE!!!! Two aros absolutely demolishing amatonormativity with their level of trust and devotion to one another <33

Seeing this ask got me so excited to indulge because I'm aro so obviously I love projecting my community's, and my own, labels onto my favorite characters! But AA is something really special because there's very little canon romance which means lots of room for interpretation!!

(So a lot of my headcanons are a result of them just looking like the flags because the arospec community is full of beautifully colored flags I can't help but see everywhere)

Phoenix is recipro to me because any time he's shown romantic interest in someone it's pretty much always been when they hit on him first. Like the idea doesn't even cross his mind until then!! From what I've seen from recipro individuals this is a really common experience which is why it Makes Sense to me! I'm generally open to any and all arospec Phoenix headcanons because they just click with me (for obvious reasons, LOL)

For me, Iris is demiro because her whole story with Phoenix just screams it to me. She probably went in only hoping to get the necklace back from her sister's next victim and then she gets to know him as this kindhearted guy who would do anything for the people he loves and she falls HARD. I don't think they were "dating" the whole time which I'm pretty sure was confirmed by Iris herself but I honest to goodness believe they were lovey dovey in those last weeks or months leading up to Dahlia stepping in! I should also confess I'm a Feenris shipper, haha, so I'm biased on that front. Demiro Iris just means A Lot to me

Maya is aroace lesbian in that she thinks girls are really pretty!! And also in how she kept moving between the aroace and lesbian labels to the point she decided she'd label herself both. This one was mostly inspired by her going "omg that girl was so pretty" to just about every girl she meets which feels very, very sapphic LOL. I hc she's romance indifferent in the sense she doesn't mind dating but it's not something she actively seeks out! Though I think she'd love the meals that come with dinner dates- she's got food on the brain 24/7 after all (just like me for real)

Mia is pan angled aroace, more specifically greypansexual aro! Because she gives me romance repulsed aro vibes at first but her relationship with Diego (and possibly with Lana) would point to her being more romance ambivalent. Pansexual Mia is a headcanon I've had for a looooong time as far back as my first AA hc document while greysexual is a recent development. She's always been aro to me! Aro plant mom <3

Franziska is quiromantic to me. I mean, she's the palette of the platoniromantic flag! This headcanon only came about because of that 4koma comic where Phoenix makes Franziska flustered by telling her Maya's being strong for her because she sees Franziska as a dear friend. I just got the vibes. Also, the colors! I honestly don't think she'd see the appeal of romance with or without the feelings she can't distinguish. She enjoys her independence and I can't see her "settling down" in the slightest

Now, I've bounced around with where I think Edgeworth is on the aromantic spectrum. But I know damn well he belongs there! Lately I've considered Edgeworth being lithro gay, whether he loses feelings upon entering a relationship or doesn't want to act on them in the first place I'm honestly not sure. (Edgeworth is an interesting case for me because I flip flop between him having feelings or being omniaromantic lol) Probably never getting married regardless. Even before the lines about it I had my doubts! I like the idea of him marrying for tax benefits but outside of that.. I can't see him ever entering a traditional marriage let alone traditional romance. It feels out of character for him

There are others but these are by far the most developed ones! Recipro Phoenix and aroace lesbian Maya are my favorites because they feel the most accurate in regards to canon but pan angled aroace Mia is also up there. I'm probably going to post more arospec headcanons as I come up with them because y'all seem to really like them and I like talking about em!!

Thank you so much for asking!

#asks #gyakuten saiban #ace attorney #aa3 spoilers #naruhodo ryuichi #ayame #ayasato mayoi #ayasato chihiro #karuma mei #mitsurugi reiji #phoenix wright #maya fey #sister iris #mia fey #franziska von karma #miles edgeworth #anon I wish I knew who you were!! your headcanon is top tier!!! I really enjoy seeing aro spec headcanons! #this is pretty much it for ones I've thought out to some degree. but I will inevitably think of more the longer I play these games #this ask is pretty old btw it's been in my drafts for about a month or so I think. but I've thought about it a lot!

[demizorua]

Related to my last ask, do you mind telling me your aro thoughts on the rest of the rd cast?

I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT MIND :DDD

in order, there's logan who i've talked about, and then also ada, insomniac, cole, and nicole!! they are the ones who have been Beamed™. and it'd probably be more accurate to say they're all arospec somewhere to me and i don't know the Specific labels that apply to them, but then again, neither would they so it works out.

with ada, i feel like she's the kind of aro that doesn't really distinguish between platonic and romantic feelings. it's all a type of love, so she's all vibing! if she feels romantic attraction, she wouldn't know because she can't super identify it. she's up for partnering and wouldn't mind dating people, or being in a qpr, but the terms of the relationship would mostly fall on what the other party needs/wants to a degree. not that she doesn't care or is a pushover, just that she kinda. is fine with most types of relationship, as long as the other person in question is able to communicate their needs and respect hers, etc. but she's just here to enjoy being With People!!

insomniac is loveless bc i feel like loveless aros deserve the world. i was going to say "deserve more love" but that. entirely defeats the point lmao. he enjoys people's company and enjoys things and stuff like that. but never really feels comfortable with the term "love" being used to describe any of it. he's just hanging out. just vibing.

cole and nicole are a qpr in my beautiful mind. just because i think it's swag. they're different kinds of aro to me, though.

cole is like. he likes love songs and has ideas of love and affection and just was never super sure what that was supposed to feel like? his only reference was other people's descriptions and was never sure how to apply that to himself. the first time he started questioning that was around nicole, because he started to feel things he could identify as. being similar. that's what the whole inspiration thing is about, she was his inspiration, and while he's still not sure if what he feels for her is concretely romantic love, he knows she's very important to him and makes him happy and... honestly he's starting to think that's enough for him. he's never thought about that very deeply.

nicole, on the other hand, was more like. just comfortable in being aro prior to meeting cole, and still is comfortable in that. she's aro, and she's good with that, she doesn't really see a need to examine it any further. she likes cole, he's good to be around, he's nice. it's not exactly romantic, but she likes him.

they are so qpr. to me.

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE these are the guys i've hit with Beams so far!!! thank you so so much for asking and giving me an opportunity to talk about this :DDD

#rhythm doctor #not character tagging for this one bc i'm less sure but ghskfhskfj #my more specific headcanons for these four are ada is aro + bi insomniac and cole are aroace and nicole is aro + lesbian! #i just think they're silly #thank u SO SO much for asking i love these characters and this game so much #headcanons go brrrr brain go brrrrrr

[caes-funnyarc]

oc ask game answers!! (please let me know who posted these originally, as i can't find it ! i will edit and add credit :3)

tw for parental issues / abuse in later questions

- How did you come up with the OC’s name?

🌸Dominic Dotty was inspired because I wanted Dotty to be his name at some point (as he’s covered in freckles) but I eventually figured that it would work better as a last name. I wanted some alliteration, so then I introduced the first name “Dominic” as I think it’s rather silly :]

- How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

🌸He’s about 19 ! He’s one of the youngest on the show, according to my headcanons. :]

- Do they have any love interest(s)?

🌸*cough* shop *cough* keeper *cough cough cough*

 - What is their favorite food?

🌸Rocks. :] Shiny ones.

- What do they do for a living?

🌸Dominic runs a local library! He does it for jokes and favors, similar to Howdy.

- Do they have any hobbies?

🌸He plays a few instruments (cello, piano, electric and bass guitar) and enjoys gardening !

-What do they do best?

🌸Play cello! He’s rather good at it.

-What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

🌸Dominic loves to talk to people he’s comfortable with. He also hates meeting new people who are overly personal with him from the get go! He has issues with certain textures and loud noises, especially piercing ones. Noises that come from scratchy or dry sources especially irritate him.

- What is one of your OC’s best memories?

🌸One of his best memories is when his adoptive father taught him to garden. It’s been a passion for a long time because of it.

- What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

(tw for abuse)

🌸Dominic’s birth parents were the first people to teach him the phrase “Blood is thicker than water.” They were mentally abusive to the point where he no longer felt comfortable being around them. Eventually, when he was six years old, his parents dropped him off in the woods to fend for himself. He was eventually found in critical condition by a hiker and his wife. 

- Is their current design the first one?

🌸Yes and no. His original design had certain patches, but they change per episode. This isn’t exactly super different, but it still pertains to the question.

- What originally inspired the OC?

🌸I wanted a way to channel some feelings I was having, and I also have a Welcome Home hyperfix. You’re welcome. /j

- What genre do they belong in?

🌸In media, video games (like a bad spinoff that has side characters and he’s just a funny joke) and TV (because WH was a show for television lol). In actual literary genre, usually psychological horror, though he has been in comedic pieces too.

- What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

🌸Dominic is FTM trans, demiromantic, and pansexual! 

- How many sibling does your OC have?

🌸 He isn’t sure ! He’s the only child his adopted parents have, and he hasn’t spoken to his biological parents since the incident.

- What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

🌸He loves his adoptive parents to death, and so their relationship is incredible. And of course, his relationship with his biological parents is not good at all.

- What do you like most about the OC?

🌸I love that he gave me an opportunity to channel some hurtful emotions into a character that can heal through my hyperfix. I’m also excited because he’s my first ever arospec character!

- How often do you draw/write about the OC?

🌸I doodle him rather often. Little silly <3

- Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

🌸Only in an AU angst. My little baby man :[[

- Does your OC have any phobias?

🌸He’s terribly afraid of the dark and being alone in the woods. I’ll give you three guesses as to why. (He’s also weirdly afraid of boomboxes. What’s his deal?)

-Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

🌸 The man in the mirror that he sees. He looks just like him, but broader and taller. He looks like a memory. (Three guesses as to who that is, too.)

- How long have you had the OC?

🌸A couple months !! He’s relatively new, but I’m rather fond of him.

again, if anyone knows who originally posted these questions, tag them in replies so that i can edit and tag them as well !! <33

#oc ask game #oc questions #dominic dotty #tw abuse

[im-a-ramblr]

For ASAW, me and some friends on Discord made a list of (mostly Disney) Characters who are Arospec

I’m posting it here so y’all can add on

Mulan, her marriage to Shang is political. There were some butterflies at first, but they didn’t last long. Shang view on it is “this woman can and will destroy an man if she wants, I'm not going to find anyone cooler than that” 

King Triton, specifically AroAllo

Charlotte 'Lottie' La Bouff, specifically Cupioromantic. In a QPR with Tianna. Tianna is also arospec, but I’ll do a full post on that later this week. 

Sully is in a QPR with Mike, as are Hook and Smee

Edna Mode, an elder Aro queen 

Elsa, Merida, and Moana are all AroAce

Lilo is Aro, NB, Autistic

Merryweather was said and agreed on immediately 

Kronk is a demiro himbo, who we love

Moses and Tzipporah from Prince of Egytpt - Aro power couple 

Jack and Sally are Demi and Cupio respectively 

This one was inspired by Tumblr’s take on Cinderella, but Cinderella and her prince? Not romantic. He was drawn to her because she didn't know he was the prince and treated him like a normal person and the fact that he searched for her wasn't because he was it was because she said some stuff that clued him into her being in an incredibly bad situation and he wanted to help her get out

Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Gonzo are Aro. Piggy and Kermit are together because "If I marry my bestie Kermie than I won't have to deal with men"

Milo and Kida are Aro and t4t

Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan

Basil, from Reducers Down Under, Basil from the Great Mouse Detective, Silver, from Treasure planets, Kuzco, Scott Summer, Wolverine, and Data were also all said and agreed on.

#aromanitc #aromantic spectrum #asaw 2023 #asaw #Disney #add on! we want a long long list!

[call-me-double-trouble]

Double Trouble Sexual Orientation Headcanons

I don’t know what inspired me to make this post, I just wanted to share my thoughts and the general vibes of various sexuality headcanons about our favorite enby lizard. Keep in mind, these are just my opinions, and they’re not backed up by evidence. This is all in good fun.

Under a cut because this might get long

Yes, I know that Jacob Tobia referred to them as gay in a tweet, and the SPOP Wiki lists them as Achillean based on this, but I’d argue this doesn’t technically count as canon, since it was never established in the show itself (the only possible mention being them calling Sea Hawk “Hot Stuff”), so I think people’s headcanons and non-achillean ships are perfectly valid. That said, I’m not against the idea of them being gay, and I can definitely see it.

Gay/Achillean: This definitely holds up. DT is a theatre kid, after all, and we all know theatre kids are gay (joking). They have big twink energy, and of course, the classic “That’s your cue, Hot Stuff.” Some of my favorite DT ships are with men (Bow, Wrong Hordak, Peekablue, and Sea Hawk). However, I still think they have good chemistry with Catra, and I personally like the headcanon that they had a crush on her and may have felt bitter at being second-best to Adora, thus fueling a bit of the meaner parts of their betrayal. I still imagine them with a preference for men, but I don’t think women are out of the running.

Lesbian/Sapphic: This one’s a lot less common. I’ve actually only seen one person headcanon this, though there may be a few more. They don’t quite give me lesbian vibes, but they do seem to have chemistry with Catra, and I like several ships involving DT with a woman (such as Catra, Adora, and Scorpia).

Bi/Pan/Omni/Poly: This is my personal headcanon and has been ever since I got to know the character. They just seem like the kind of person who has lots of affection to go around (whether this is romantic or sexual is up to you). I lean more towards bi or omni for them because, as I said, I feel like they have a preference for men, but I feel like they get crushes on women, too. Though, let’s be real, it’s more likely for people to crush on DT than the other way around. They KNOW they’re the hottest bitch on Etheria!

Aspec/Arospec: Another one of my personal favorites. Yes, I’m biased, since I’m ace, but COME ON, it’d be such a glorious defiance of expectations and stereotypes, and DT would live for the chaos they’d cause by oozing sexual energy and not being interested in doing a thing about it. They’d be this untouchable, irresistible them fatale and OWN IT. But I feel like they’d also be fun as an aroace because of their ability to read people. They’ve got it down to a science, and logically analyzing romance/sexual attraction in an attempt to understand it is SUCH an aroace mood. They also seem like the type who just wouldn’t be interested in dating, and as I said, it’d be great if this gorgeous, smooth-talking, flirtatious lizard in a skin-tight outfit wasn’t interested in sex. What a power move! Of course, you could also see them as ace and alloromantic, gray ace, demi, allosexual aro, etc. I like the idea of aroace DT as much as ace DT who DOES date. As for their intimate life, maybe they do, maybe they don’t, maybe they do and just don’t care much about it one way or the other, maybe they do only under specific circumstances—there’s a whole variety of ways an aspec and/or arospec DT can be written, and I think it’s one of the most interesting interpretations of this character!

Polyamorous: I mean. Obviously. DT is so easy to ship, so you might as well make them date everyone XD. But seriously, I love this headcanon and think it fits them very well, and it’s one that I include in daydreams and the few fanfic things I’ve written.

#double trouble #spop double trouble #she ra double trouble #double trouble headcanons #spop #my thoughts #mine

[kawaiichibiart]

Sekai Pride Month

Time for Aro/Ace group, Nightcord @ 25:00

As mentioned in prior headcanons posts, Mafuyu and Kanade are dating but aren't labeling their relationship as romantic or platonic; Ena and Mizuki are also dating and lean more towards just being a romantic relationship despite both being arospec.

Ena and Mizuki both love romance, so having a more romantic relationship seemed ideal to them and they wanted that but felt like their identities would be questioned if they did romantic things together. So for a while, they keep their relationship on the down low.

Mizuki is nonbinary. She was kinda annoyed Rui figured it out before they did, but in all honesty, chances were she likely wouldn't believe him had he told them.

Ena is graysexual/grayromantic.

It actually took a while for Ena to realize she was in the aro/ace spectrum. For a long time she thought she was either: too busy making art and/or taking selfies to consider dating, or that she was broken somehow.

Mafuyu is agender. Don't ask why, it feels right to me.

That being said, the only people who know are Kanade, Ena and Mizuki. Everyone else believes they're female.

Just so you know: Mizuki mainly uses she/they pronouns and Mafuyu currently goes by she/her pronouns but will eventually go by they/them.

Mafuyu is fully aro/ace. Much like Ena, they had difficulties learning this due to believing something was wrong with them, when it's something completely normal.

Kanade is demi.

For their first date, Kanade took Mafuyu to see the flower beds full of carnations she saw as a kid and rediscovered thanks to Mizuki.

Mafuyu often asks Kanade if she's sure she wants to be in a relationship with them, especially considering they aren't labeling their relationship. Kanade will always tell them that she wouldn't change what they had for the world.

Mafuyu begins bringing Kanade carnations whenever they meet up in person. It doesn't have to be for a date, if they're just meeting up with Ena and Mizuki, they will bring Kanade a carnation.

Kanade makes songs solely for Mafuyu to hear. These are songs she isn't planning on releasing to the public.

Ena likes surprising Mizuki with small accessories. She will often slip a new hairclip into their hair before taking a selfie with her to post on a new personal account on whatever socials she uses where she has shared pretty much nothing but photos of her dates with Mizuki.

Mizuki, on the other hand, will often surprise Ena by taking her to cafés and anywhere the artist might find inspiration.

Kanade tells her dad about Mafuyu. She will sometimes ask him if her mom would have accepted her had she still been alive. She will ask him if he accepts her as she is.

She only ever asks those questions when her father is asleep. She can't bring herself to when he was awake.

Ena knows her brother will often stay at his friends house when his relationship with his boyfriend is brought up. Eventually she will also leave their house and stay at Mizuki's.

Around the end of Pride Month Mizuki takes the group to Phoenix Wonderland. She wants them have fun for a while at a place that will be very accepting of them. She was not expecting Kanade to call her fellow Kamiyama student "big brother" but whatever, they weren't gonna question it.

The group doesn't stick around for long, but they did leave with good memories and matching face paint.

And just so you know, yes, Mafuyu did ask Emu specifically to do theirs.

#project sekai #hatsune miku colorful stage #project sekai colorful stage #proseka #prosekai #colorful stage #nightcord at 25:00 #n25 #mafuyu asahina #mizuki akiyama #kanade yoisaki #ena shinonome #mizuena #mafukana #kanamafu

[aroaceconfessions]

This confession is simple. I hate being made to feel like shit that I’m not an Original aro/ace. I’m aroSPEC aceSPEC. I like consuming romance content, though don’t want a romance. I don’t like having sex, but I like reading about it and consuming pornographic content. Especially recently I’m made to feel like I’m part of the problem or something… I’m not ace enough I’m not aro enough. I like x reader fanfic I like the smuttiest smut. I’m disgusting, I’m a perv. I am enjoying not-completely-platonic things… ugh.

And then I feel even worse remembering: aplatonic people, asexual people who AREN’T aro, aromatic people who AREN’T ace, remembering EVERYONE ON THE SPECTRUM!!! Which many seem to not know about/completely forgot about.

They probably feel even worse than I ever could. None of us should feel this miserable.

You’re valid. ALL of you. I call for some more variety in content. Not just romantic, not just sexual. Like hey, those of you who are loveless? Y’all inspired me. Y’all really hit me that I’m quoiromantic and don’t understand what love even IS and I don’t perceive any of my relationships in any sort of Classic™ way.

We can call for variety without swinging in every goddamn direction. It’s the upbringing of society’s fault and we have to fix it with our own creativity and our own creation of media. It is not the fault of the one making goo goo eyes for the person across the hall and posting a detailed essay on this site about it. It’s also not the fault of the person staring at shirtless fanart of their favorite character for FAR too long.

It’s the fault of people who don’t believe we exist, who don’t believe that we are even possible. It is not the fault of the allo writer wanting to write about their gushing allo things. It is the fault of anyone who wants to devalue you, us as a community.

They might not care so much about the world building or whatever and that seems to offend some of the people here. Though, some of us don’t gaf about the romance or sex. We have different priorities.

And that’s all. Let’s get creative.

…

Ayo wasn’t this supposed to be simple—

#aroace #arospec #acespec #aspec #aroacespec #romance favorable #sex favorable

[baya-ni]

The Queer Appeal of Sk8

Recently @mulberrymelancholy reblogged a post of mine with a truly galaxy brain take about how Sk8 “is a show made for queer fans” and generally how sports anime often depicts love and relationships in a way that’s more accessible and relatable to ace/arospec people than other mainstream media does.

Just, *chef’s kiss* fucking brilliant. I urge you to read their post here (note I’m referring to the reblog not the actual post).

And basically, it got me thinking about this concept of Sk8 as a Queer Show, and the kinds of stories and dynamics that tend to attract queer audiences in droves, regardless of whether its queerness is made explicit or hell, whether that queerness was intended.

And that’s what I’ve been pondering: What are the cues, markers, or coding, in Sk8 that set off the community’s collective gaydar?

I obviously can’t speak for the community. So here’s what aspects of the show intrigued me and what, for me, marks Sk8 as a Queer Show beyond the subtextual queer romances: a punk/alternative aesthetic, Found Family, Shadow as a drag persona, and The Hands.

1.) The Punk Aesthetic

All three of the above screenshots are taken from Ep 1, and every single one of them depicts background characters. They’re nameless and ultimately unimportant characters, yet each of them designed so distinctly and so unique from one another, one could mistake each of them for the main character(s) of another story.

Of what little I know about Punk subculture, I do know this: that the ethos of Punk is heavily built around a celebration of individuality and non-conformity. Sk8 seems to have incorporated this ethos into the very fabric its worldbuilding, and the aesthetics and culture upon which it takes inspiration appeals specifically to a queer audience.

I don’t really need to explain why Punk has such deep ties with the queer community. For decades, queer people have found community and acceptance within punk spaces, and punk ideology is something that I think is just ingrained in the queer consciousness as both lived experience and a survival tactic.

Therefore, a show that adopts punk aesthetics is, by association, already paying homage to Queer culture, intentional or not.

Queer fans notice this- like recognizes like.

2.) Found Family

This also needs little explanation.

Too often, queer individuals cannot rely on their “born into” families for support and acceptance. Too often, we are abused, neglected, and abandoned by those who we were taught would “always be there for us.”

And so, a universal experience for queer people has been redefining the meaning of Family, having to build our families from scratch, finding brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in people with whom we have no blood relation, and forming communities tied together by shared lived experience rather than shared genetics.

And this idea of Found Family is also built into Sk8′s narrative.

Like, for example, the way that Reki promises MIYA that he and Langa will “never disappear from [his] sight,” filling the void that MIYA felt after his friends abandoned him.

And in the way that JOE becomes a paternal figure for Reki, teaching him ways to improve in skateboarding, and ensuring that Reki doesn’t self isolate when he’s feeling insecure.

And in the whole Ep 6 business with Hiromi acting as babysitter to the Gang.

Hell, even ADAM (derogatory) is associated with this trope. Abused as a child, he finds solace in an underground skateboarding community and culture he helped create- his own found family (or some powertrippy version of it anyway).

Again, queer fans see themselves depicted in the show, but this time in the way that the show gives importance to Found Family relationships between its characters.

3.) Shadow and Drag

This is one that’s more of an association that I personally made. But I was intrigued by the way that Hiromi adopts his SHADOW persona. He wears SHADOW like a mask, and adopts a personality seemingly so opposite to his day-to-day behavior.

Further, the theatricality and general “gender fuckery” of his SHADOW persona, to me, just seemed so similar to a the characteristics of a drag persona (I don’t know a whole lot about drag but enough that I’m drawing superficial similarities).

There’s also this aspect of a “double life” that he, and actually all the other adult characters of the show, have to adopt, which is a way of living that I’m sure a lot of queer viewers see themselves reflected in.

4.) The Hands

Ohhhh the Hands.

One of the things I noticed very early on is the way the show constantly draws our attention to Reki’s hands, which I thought was a little strange for an anime about skating. After all, skating doesn’t really involve the hands, or at least the show doesn’t really draw attention to hands within the context of skating.

I count 3 times so far between Eps 1-9 in which hands are the focus of the frame.

First, when Reki teaches Langa how to fist pump after Langa lands his first ollie, second, when Reki and Langa make their Promise, and finally, when Langa saves Reki from falling off his board.

And you know what they say, twice is a coincidence but thrice is a motif (no one else actually says this I think I’m the only one who says this lol).

I’m not really certain why hands seem to be such a shared fixation among queer people (at least among those I interact with). All I know is that gay people are just fucking obsessed with them.

I have a Theory as to why, and at this point I’d love for other people to chime in and “compare notes” if you will, but I think it basically has to do with repression. And in the same way that queer people have had to redefine the meaning of family, we’ve also had to redefine intimacy.

Being overtly physically affectionate with someone of the same sex, even if they’re your significant other, or often specifically BECAUSE they’re your significant other, can still be dangerous, even now despite the “progression” of society. Queer people know this, this vigilant surveillance of our environment and ourselves, always asking ourselves, “Am I safe enough to be myself?”

Already, Western culture is pretty touch-averse. That is, it’s considered taboo to touch someone unless they’re a family member or a romantic partner. And to touch a person of the same sex in any way that could be misconstrued as romantic (which is most things tbh) is a big no no.

There’s just A Lot to unpack there.

But basically I think that queer people, by necessity, have had to learn to romanticize mundane or unconventional ways of being physically intimate so that we can continue to be romantic with one another without “being caught” so to speak.

Kissing and hugging is too obvious. But a handshake that lingers for just a second too long is much more likely to go unnoticed, braiding someone’s hair can easily be explained away as just lending a helping hand, touching palms to “compare hand sizes” is just good fun.

But for queer people, these brief and seemingly insignificant touches hold greater meaning, because it’s all we are allowed, and all we allow ourselves, to exchange with others.

God, I’ve gone off and rambled again. What’s my point? Basically that the way the show draws attention to Reki’s hands, and specifically how they’re so often framed with Langa’s hands, is one of the major reasons why I clocked Sk8 as a Queer. It’s just something that resonated with me and my own experience of queerness, and I know that I’m not the only one who noticed either.

~

So in conclusion, uhhhh yeah Sk8 the Infinity is just a super gay show, and it’s not even because of the homo-romantic subtext (that at this point is really just Text).

Because what’s important to understand is that Queerness isn’t just about same-sex romance.

Queer Love isn’t just shared between wives/girlfriends, husbands/boyfriends, and all their in-betweens. Queer Love can be two best friends who come out together, queer siblings who rely and support one another, a gay teacher who helps guide one of their questioning students, a queer community pitching in to help a struggling member.

And that all ties with another important thing to consider, that what we refer to as the “queer experience” or “queer culture” isn’t universal. In fact, it wrongly lumps together the unique experiences and struggles of queer BIPOC all under one umbrella that’s primary White and middle class.

So I think what drives a lot of my frustration about labeling a show like Sk8 as Queerbait is this very issue of considering queerness and queer representation within such narrow standards, and mandating that a show must pass a certain threshold of explicit queerness to be considered good representation.

I get that someone might only feel represented by an indisputable canonization of a same-sex couple. That’s fine. But labeling Sk8 as Queerbait for that reason alone ignores the vast array of other queer experiences.

The aspects of Sk8 that resonate most deeply with my own experiences of queerness is in the way that Reki and Langa share intimacy through skating (intricate rituals heyo). For me, them officially getting together ultimately doesn’t matter- I’ll consider Sk8 a Queer show regardless.

Similarly, @mulberrymelancholy​ finds ace/arospec representation in that very absence of an on-screen kiss. A bisexual man might find representation in Reki, not because he enters a canon relationship, but in the depiction of Reki’s coming of age, growing up and navigating adolescent relationships. A non-binary person might feel represented through CHERRY’s androgyny.

That’s the thing, I don’t know how this show will resonate with other members of the queer community, and it’d be wrong to make a judgement on Sk8′s queer representation based on my experiences alone.

That being said, Straight people definitely don’t get to judge Sk8 as Queerbait. Y’all can watch and enjoy the show, we WANT you to enjoy these kinds of shows, and we want you to share these shows and contribute to the normalization and celebration of these kinds of narratives.

But understand that you don’t have a right to tell us whether or not Sk8 has good or bad queer representation.

And even members of the queer community are on thin ice. Your experience of queerness is not universal. Listen to the other members of your community, and respect that what you might find lacking in this show may be the exact representation that someone else needs.

#and scene #i was up till 4am writing this instead of doing my hw #bc i hav Opinions dammit #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 meta #sk8 theory #queerbait

[runnfromtheak]

begrudging self-love retrospective

tagged by my loves @bitterleafs and @epistemologys

"Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2021. Tag as many creators as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!"

I wrote more than I thought this year tbh, so this will be a bit hard because a lot of my works were brain infestation passion projects that consumed me until I released them.

#1, of course, is a fic I am beyond proud of. My longest, my best, and my piece for the 2021 JayDick Summer Exchange: A Dwindling Mercurial High.

It was beyond fun delving into the different post-crisis periods and developing a case fic with twists and turns that surprised most people while delivering on the angst I am known for. It also has multiple endings for the lovely crow, and also because I couldn't see anyone way the case could end. Exploring Dick trying to uncover Gotham's post-Bruce Wayne mysteries while exploring Jason Todd grieving and trying to understand the dichotomy of Dick Grayson really helped me understand both of them better. It was a passion project, and I loved every minute of it.

Coming in #2 is my late offering to the still-active Catradora fandom that I adore far too much. Adora's such an interesting and complex character that I had to write out my take and it kept spiraling and spiraling as I got more and more in touch with who Adora is at her core. First and foremost, it is a character study, but it's also a bit of a tragic love story at the moment as Adora tries to let go of the one constant she's always had.

This one will be finished by February, hopefully, as my interests fluctuate but my need to explore Adora more remains constant.

#3 is a prayer for which no words exist, created in celebration of one of my best friends' birthdays (ico) and inspired by the works of Richard Siken from his collection Crush. It was a bit more project with coping mechanisms than most fics are, but I think that made it more raw and relatable. Writing it felt very intimate, and in ways, I think the fact that Dick is grappling with trauma most people can't understand but copes in ways we all do helps us understand him better. He's sad and pining, but he's trying to be strong because no one else is around to pick him up. And at the end of the day, be it romantic or platonic, don't we all just want to be loved and accepted?

#4 is my contribution to aggressively arospec week, which celebrates those on the aromantic (a label I personally identify with) spectrum and the works they create around such things. I really, really, liked how this fic turned out and how people responded to it. Part of writing is throwing emotions into the void in hopes of reciprocity, or even understanding. Sometimes, it's a need to release emotion, and sometimes it is a need to let others know they aren't alone. This was a mix of the two, and I'm delighted it helped people. <3

#5 might be a bit suprising. Majority of my fics are JayDick, with some rare-pairs cast in between, but this fic is dedicated to another of my best friends' birthdays (the wonderful Q aka @withthekeyisking-writer) and an exploration of the way I view one of the most deliciously problematic pairings people hate to love and love to hate: of course, I'm talking about Sladick. It may not be Alabama-style fun times, but it's deliciously dangerous and sexy in a way I didn't know I was capable of writing. It pushed the boundaries of my writing style and made me innovate a bit and grow a lot. Beyond that, it made me realize sometimes Dick just needs a Zaddy to make him stop angsting. Q, my dear, you're entirely to blame for my corruption.

I have (2) honourable mentions:

and

These are both fics I didn't think I was capable of articulating outside of my imagination, ones that seemed too big and grand for me. not to mention they are polyamorous, OT3-centric, fics which is very intimidating to write. Two people in a relationship is difficult, especially finding a good ebb and flow with clashing personalities and keeping them both in character. 3 or 4? Infinitely more so. But, the writing in them is beautiful to me, and I am so excited to continue them and develop these relationships that have come to mean so much to me. I'm proud that I am trying new things, and developing my style further and further. So, yeah.

Now back to my regularly scheduled self-loathing mwahahahahaha

taggin @luthienluinwe, @withthekeyisking-writer, @nightwingvixen23, and @stevieraebarnes in case some of you haven't already done it. Lmfao good luck!

#jaydick #jaydickdonna #magicdick^2 #dick grayson #writing #ao3 #year in review #sladick #angst bitch

[aro-neir-o]

Carnival of Aros - Open Questions for Aromantic Research

This month has been a little bonkers for me as I come to the end of my Master’s degree, but perhaps it’s fitting that August 2020′s prompt for the Carnival of Aros aligns with the culmination of my research.

As always, my (very many) thoughts are under Keep Reading.

The first thing I thought when I saw this prompt was: “Do I have to formulate an actual fancy official set of Research Questions??” If grad school has taught me anything, it’s that research questions are incredibly difficult to pin down, and they’re always changing as the research is undertaken. The aro community, especially, has rapidly changing terms as we try to figure out our place in the world. 

So, instead of creating Actual Research Questions (TM) - because I’m quite burnt out with my own for grad school already, hahaha - I’m going to give some general ideas.

In-Progress and Previous Surveys (a.k.a. Neir Is Trying Really Hard Not To Write A Literature Review)

It is maybe a little silly to be brainstorming future research when I haven’t finished analyses for the 2019 surveys I was a part of. Since I started aro research, I’ve been learning a lot about the community, and we’ve even managed to get a first aro census out there. That’s three in-progress in-depth surveys that include aro individuals.

I’ve run a couple of iterations on aro stigmatization + microagressions (see #arospec stigma survey tags). Things like discovering one’s aro identity and just general demographics are covered in the #a-spec identity survey and the aro census.

There is also research I’ve seen on various aro experiences, aro relationships, aro activism, amatonormativity, and mental health. Full disclosure, I help manage AUREA’s Research resource page so whenever I hear about something, chances are it’ll get posted there.

Future Exploratory Research

I think there is a tonne of exploratory research that we need to do, some of which will have to be done over as the aro community and the environment around us change. I think the most important thing with this research is to listen to what aros want. There are a lot of sub-communities and identities under the aro umbrella, and even others that are in a gray zone that might not be picked up by usual aro research.

In terms of what I would personally love to run on the exploratory side of things, I’d like to investigate:

the experiences of individuals who relate to the aro community but do not [always] see themselves as a part of it

the intersection of aromanticism with disability, neurodivergence, and other demographic factors - how these might affect aros and their wellbeing in different ways

the history of aro voices in the Discourse Era

the evolution of aro terminology

the evolution of aro communities in different countries

the relationship between the aro community and other Queer communities (i.e., comparative studies)

Of course, seeing aro representation in academic studies not specifically focused on aromanticism or orientation would be wonderful. Figuring out how to word surveys and instructions to be inclusive to aros is perhaps its own study.

Future Interventionist Research

I have also been thinking about interventionist research. As the aro community grows and connects globally, our activism grows with us. More of us are out and about, talking about aromanticism, giving speeches, presenting workshops, and interacting with people who usually aren’t anywhere near our circles.

I’d like to have researchers document how aros go about their activism, particularly in different locales, so that we can take inspiration. 

How can we leverage both online and offline activism to different ends? How can we connect the online and offline spheres? How can we connect aros internationally, through language barriers? What makes an effective awareness campaign? Where have we seen success and where have we seen failure? What can we learn for future ASAW and Pride events?

What kinds of partnerships are particularly effective for allyship? How can we team up with other marginalized individuals and work towards the same goals? Who would be best to reach out to first?

What kinds of aro-friendly programs or policies can we try out in our local communities? Do they succeed or fail? Why? What can we learn before confronting the bigger fish?

Testing things out is always better sooner rather than later. This way, we can build up momentum as a community and be ready when we find an opportunity to make a big policy push.

The great thing about a young field is its potential for new researchers. I personally can’t wait to see what the community comes up with over the years, and I look forward to meeting you all at some sort of conference someday. :)

#carnival of aros #blogging carnival #aro research #aromantic research #research #ideas

[tolkiengenweek]

THANK YOU.

Tolkien Gen Week 2020 Farewell.

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU to every single person who participated in Tolkien Gen Week 2020! As much as Tumblr screwed with their website to make things difficult for me, it truly was a joy to mod this event. I am humbled to have inspired so many amazing creations, from art to fic to headcanons to graphics to so much more!

I do a lot of various creative things in fandom, but I’m a fic writer first and foremost, and so I feel obligated (and honored!) to give a shoutout to everyone who contributed fic to the event. I am blown away by the creativity and passion you put into your stories, and I’ve enjoyed each and every fic! I’ve tried to read and leave a comment on every fic for the event - if it seems I’ve missed yours (aka you don’t have a comment from starlightwalking on AO3) please let me know on my main blog @arofili so I can check out your story!

This event began as a wish for more arospec content, then evolved into a wider idea for more gen content, and running it back in 2018 was my first experience modding an event like this. I loved running it then, but reviving it again for 2020 has surpassed everything I expected.

It’s hard to get a decent count of contributors and pieces, but I can tell that there’s probably at least three times as many submissions this year as there were the first time around! Our AO3 collection alone has 71 works at the time I am writing this post, and that’s mostly fic, not to mention all the art, edits, etc this blog has collected.

The first time I ran Tolkien Gen Week, I closed the event by writing a heartfelt thank you post and tagging everyone who participated/contributed almost every day. I started collecting a list of urls to do the same thing again this year, but I quickly gave up, simply because there were too many of you to tag! I am so, so grateful to each and every one of you - your enthusiasm and creativity made this event what it is.

I hope to run Tolkien Gen Week again sometime next year! Until then, I will be keeping this blog active by reblogging various gen content throughout the year; I’ve already got some queued up!

I’d like to plug a few other events going on: the Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang is in progress, and you can check out @tolkienrsb for information there; come September there will be LOTS of amazing Tolkien fic and art for you to consume. If you’re a Silm fan, check out the other event blog I run, Finwean Ladies Week @finweanladiesweek - I’m hoping to run it again sometime in the fall! And the Innumerable Stars exchange @innumerable-stars is also running again this year; check that out for character-based exchange content!

And finally, a note regarding a question I get asked a lot:

If you still have creations for the event that you didn’t finish “in time,” you are MORE THAN WELCOME to tag the blog in them when you’re done!! We accept late submissions - even if it’s a month or a year late! - and I want to see your amazing gen content!

I know that I didn’t finish everything I wanted to - I’ll have some more fic and art rolling in over the next few days or so. And if you have any gen content you want the blog to boost, even completely unrelated to the event, again - feel free to tag us! (Though given how much Tumblr is screwing around with their tagging system, I may not catch it quickly or at all; if tagging the blog doesn’t work, you can DM it to me instead!)

Again: THANK YOU SO MUCH, you made this event an AMAZING experience, and I can’t wait until next time!!!

Much love, the mod @arofili

#tolkiengenweek #lotr #the hobbit #silmarillion #mod post

[oh-no-whoopsie]

reasons I love kip!! (aka @ghostsingold) 

(making this post bc they deserve all the love and my meds have kicked in so im able to be productive today. thanks long-acting adderall!!) 

kip I love you for so many reasons and as I fill out college applications im gonna list them out <3 no special occasion its just! you make me happy and I wanted to share that with you and since I have a teeny blog no one will see this but you <3 

1.) this response to a post I made on my old blog. it was one of my first positive interactions on Tumblr and this tiny piece of writing made that entire week easier. it was a tiny start to a friendship and it was also a stranger caring for me, which at that time I didn’t think was possible. 

2.) every single time that they have been a part of the Brown Eye Stan Club and hyped up brown eyes,,,,dude I can’t you’ve been such a big part of the journey to accept my brown eyes. it means so much to me that you just? say it!! you’re proud of the fact you love brown eyes! hell yeah dude! thank you!

3a.) for sending me songs that remind you of me??? to have someone think of me?? MY HEART?? I- I can’t express how much it means to me I just,, hnnhhh you even made me a fucking playlist (which I listen to CONSTANTLY) (here is the playlist ) just. dude. I love you 

4.) one of those songs is Glitter & Gloss by Skott and 

          a) this song makes me feel like a fucking badass 

          b) made me feel so appreciated and loved because it was the first time someone had said “this song reminds me of you!” 

          c). when I was stalking your blog trying to find my old posts I found this post about that song and?? sunbeams through Spanish moss? trees? pretty?? is this how you see me?? im in love????? also this ask I sent you where you describe your love for the sun <3 the implication that I am even a little bit like the sun to you makes me wanna cry happiness 

5.) Your taste in music is SUPERB. IMPECCABLE. A DELIGHT. 

6.) Someday I will have the strength to do naniwrimo with you and that will be a glorious month (and next September we should be able to be writing buddies!!!!! because now I have meds for attention span so I can write again >:) ) 

7.) A long time ago (old blog) I asked for people to give me nicknames because I never got cute nicknames and because I could only ever insult myself. for the longest time I forgot what you said but I remembered!!!! it was birdie!!

          a). even though now most people call me doe cuz of bumblebee, you were the first person to reply to that post and just because milk suggested fawn/doe and it stuck doesn’t mean I love birdie any less 

          b.) it means a lot that you suggested it in the first place and while I was finding links for this post I came across this ask where you call me birdie :> p.s. you still mean a lot to me and I hope you’re okay <3 

8.) every single time you sent me a picture of a frog :),, also that one post about taking fake shots of water still sends me but I can’t find it to link it,, and also everything you listed on this post including the fact that it is inspired by my post

9.) when you agreed to talk to people for me when I was panicking thinking they were going to die but had to go to sleep. that means so much that you would take that role on and dude I am so so sorry I ever asked that of you. 

10). you made me find magic in the sunlight and not just the moonlight, you helped me find that balance and accept that piece of me and it sounds stupid but its really important ok also im just gonna say it: your voice is perfection it is comfort it is warm and all things good in this world. ive only heard you speak like twice but I could listen to you for the rest of my life

11.) sometimes you send me posts that r like “thinking of you!!” and THEY MAKE MY DAY omfg 

12.) when you drew me!!! 

          a.) bc holy shit you are an amazing artist if you let me I want to post that drawing of me on my blog

          b.) I was supposed to draw you in return I am sorry I did not,, I still plan on doing it tho 

          c.) we drew ourselves as fairies and that was pretty fun 

          d.) you made me see beauty in myself I- 

13.) for never once encouraging my ed or bad habits. you were ready to call me tf out and I appreciate that so much dude? you were never subtley pro you also seem ready to stab anyone who opposes you. hell you post callouts against pr0-ana shit and m**nspo and f*tspo and photoshop and all of it. I admire you so much 

14.) for letting me ramble on about hermes and offerings and spirituality! 

15.) for lighting a candle for Catherine and talking with me that night

(I have the entire conversation copied into a google doc on my phone because it needed to be saved. the things you said are beautiful. it is so touching and breathtaking and if I could hug you I would and  I promise not to forget if you won’t forget. )

16.) holy shit dude P O E T R Y, both for being so good at it and for reading mine. 

17.) helping validate my arospec questioning and enby questioning,,, it was actually through your blog that I realized oh shit! I might be aro!! and having someone to talk about gender issues and arospec stuff is SO AMAZING and I love you <3 and thank you for talking with me and for helping me and for validating me 

18) validating my anger!! or at least helping to do so! you point out when things are unfair! you genuinely want my life to improve! you helped me realize some of my friends are shitty! you helped me accept things! 

19.) I love your vibes. I can’t say this enough but somehow you are just so wonderful to me,,, you are amazing I can’t describe it. you are ethereal and terrific and your features could be anywhere from beautiful to cryptic to solid to handsome but I promise you that there is something unique about you. a bit of mystery and magic left over from the days when fairytales were real. you have all the power of the sun and light and fire in both the life giving and the destructive aspects. you are so perfect and wonderful thank you 

20.) because you told me “you do not deserve to be traumatized” and in all honesty that slapped me into reality. if i still had my old Tumblr I probably would’ve screenshotted it so I could get the exact quote but I do not know how to make you understand How Much That Helped me 

all in all,,,, I must end the list here because I need to go be productive. alas.there is more I didn’t even BEGIN to mention,,, but kip, you are my rae of sunshine. someday we are going to go be cryptic authors in Scotland who disappear into the woods, perhaps to hunt with the faeries, perhaps no, who knows. we will become part of the local lore,, independent and happy and spooky. 

I love you so much!  also sorry I went through your archive to find all this,,,, to be fair I already did it once to find my posts <3 

I would never say that just one person “saved me”. thats too big of a responsibility to share. but kip, you helped save me, in ways I can’t explain, from myself and from death and from an abyss of numbness. you saved me from a thousand tiny deaths and gave me a thousand new pieces of life and I would not be the person I am today without you. I love and appreciate you so much and you bring me sunlight and joy and peace and connection. you are a true friend to me. thank you for being here. you deserve the world and so much more. 

#i luv u kip #tw disordered eating #do not think I am a stalker I just really want you to feel appreciated atm #I love you!!!! with all of my being I love you! #and I want to be there for you like you are there for me

[cornflowercanine]

ram8ling a8t amatonormativity(?) and a 8it of heteronormativity, mostly out of do any other arospec 8itches experience this/if ur also arospec and u experience this u arent alone!

early last year, i think, 8efore i knew i was aro 8ut after i started iding as a les8ian, i wasnt a8le to intake like. Any media with significant/good het rel8ionships (as in, not end-of-story shoving 2 chars together for no good reason or 8asis) 8c every time i watched it i felt... empty in a way, s33ing girl chars 8eing saved and helped and rescued and loved and cared 8y a man as an endgame ‘this story could not have ended happily any other way’ thing, i felt like i was failing and throwing myself in the middle of a road 8y 8eing gay, 8c who would have my 8ack? who would help Me if there would 8e no motiv8ion (attraction) to stay with me every step of the way?

and recently i’ve 833n starting to get that with romance, i s33 het rel8ionships Now and go good for you! i’m not a8le to do that and i dont want to. 8ut i’ll hear a8t like, les8ians that are married, or sapphics that are d8ing, and how happy they are and how Perfect they are for eachother and how well they know and trust eachother and i get filled with the same rotting f33ling earlier, 8ut this time with Want and yearning! and i realized its not out of a “oh god i wish i could do that 8ut im ~holding myself 8ack~” its out of a god i wish i could Live Up to that.

ive said it 8efore ill say it again the notion that if ur gay and ur family is against u, ur workplace is against u, ur friends are against u, the place u live is against u, and even like, god is against you, you will 8e a8le to Return to your gay partner and get acceptance and love and understanding you can’t get anywhere else is very. very. Very present. and it makes me f33l like i’ve died and given in and given up and thrown in the towel of the Possi8ility and Chance i could have a committed lifelong partner that loves me, even though... i’ve HAD romantic partners and only months in i was sick of it and w8ing for it to 8e over and wasn’t getting anything from it anymore aside from the Status and expressing affection i could get from virtually any other kind of rel8ionship anyway. the idea of a longterm romantic partner doesnt f33l comforting it f33ls like a trap and a chore and a duty and a jo8 to maintain and upk33p for god knows how long when I Don’t Want To.  literally everything a8t getting married or having a longterm romantic rel8ionship or 8eing in a committed monogamous partnership makes me f33l SICK 8ut i still f33l like i’m failing when i s33 happy les8ian couples.

and i f33l like another part of that, namely the genuine want/yearning/missing?? i f33l when i s33 cute rel8ionships like what i could 8e in is me wanting other non-romantic 8ut still not-just-friends rel8ionships, 8ut 8c they arent romantic, or 8c i’m akoiromantic and Typical Romance Things are not at all how i express romance, i f33l like i’m disappointing and falling Just short of what other qu33r ppl want of me and my f33lings. they don’t s33 themselves in someone who’s disgusted with the idea of getting married, they aren’t inspired 8y s33ing someone who’s attraction cuts off as soon as they d8/make it Official/etc, they don’t rel8 to someone who’s more than happy with Just Kissing And Calling Eachother Cute Names, or Just Flirting and leaving it at that, or Just 8eing friends with 8enefits essentially, and doesn’t want romance at the end of the day, so what am i sticking around for. why am i talking a8out it and shoving it in everyone’s faces if i have no cute #rel8ionshipgoals pics to k33p them going. why am i s33king out nonplatonic rel8ionships if i’m going to let everyone down 8y not ‘8eing mature enough’ to Just D8 The Person. and so forth

and it’s just..... tl dr. i felt alien8ed 8eing around cishets, 8ut then i found gay ppl and felt 8etter! then i felt alien8ed 8eing around cis gay ppl who put little to no real thought into gender, 8ut then i found gay non8inary ppl and felt 8etter!! then i felt alien8ed 8eing around allo gay ppl whos life goals were still getting a spouse or who were terrified of never getting a partner, 8ut then....... nothing ! i desper8ly n33d more arospec friends .

#clove rambles #personal #dont r8 #apho8ia kinda? #ive just 833n thinking a8t my identity a lot #more specifically Acting on that identity ex. what gender do i want ppl to s33 me as; what do i wanna do with my pronouns; #do i wanna d8 someone; why do Other ppl want me to d8 someone; what do i wanna present as; etc etc #sorry this is long lol i hope its interesting for someone to read XD

[aromoji]

So I’m finally getting around to do that aspec Q & A that @ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity posted, and I have quite a few aspec ocs so this could get rather lengthy but here we go

1. What was your inspiration for your character(s)? Are they modeled on yourself, a person that you know, or a character that’s already been established?

My first aspec oc, Abby Scott, was based on myself when I thought I was a biromantic ace girl. So she takes a lot after me. 

Theo Yamada, on the other hand, was a completely new character. I don’t exactly remember why I made him alloarospec, and I’ve been flipping from one arospec identity to the other, but no matter what he always remained alloaro. 

Mina Nicholson was my first character that I had predetermined to be alloaro from the start. She’s based on an old tumblr post about some super hero series idea called “Aces and Arrows.” I obviously didn’t make Mina into some superhero, but her guitar skills make her come pretty close :D. 

Brittany Olajobi is also based on an old tumblr post. Remember the “All or Nothing” idea thing that was floating around here?(Yes, I’m aware it turned into a scam, but I thought the premise was cute). Since no one actually made anything out of that I decided to make the characters my own. The asexual and pansexual girls were roomates....but also girlfriends. That idea kinda evolved into one of my newer series called “Play the Rainbow”, but that’s gonna take a while to explain.

Queenie Brooks...is based on a crude caricature someone made of an ace person (the “artist” has probably never talked to an ace person outside of tumblr but whatever), so I took that character and fleshed her out. She’s an aroace trans girl who’s evry big in activist circles, especialy the sex worker industry

2. How much, if any, has your character(s) changed since they were first created? What caused this change?

Abby and Brittany haven’t changed much besides in their appearance, Queenie and Mina underwent drastic appearance changes since they were created, and Theo’s kinda been going back and forth on the aromantic spectrum,  from strictly aro to demiromantic to aroflux. I’ve finally settled one greyromantic, which coinicdentially is what I identify as.

4. Do you intend on publishing your story one day? Why, or why not?

Probably not. I’m closeted in real life and likely to stay that way as long as I’m financially dependent on my parents.

7. Time to get serious for a bit. There’s been heavy debate on having non-human characters identify as ace, aro, non-binary, etc., but never actual humans. As someone who’s aspec, how would you explain to someone who’s allo why this can be and is seen as hurtful?

Ace and Aro people have been seen as inhuman and robotic for not feeling attraction, especially not in the same way that people who aren’t aro or ace do. Please reconsider making that animal/robot/alien oc aspec unless all or most of your characters aren’t human as well.

8. It’s a sad reality that many stories in mainstream media don’t have characters that are aspec, not to mention without resorting to harmful stereotypes. Besides there being nothing wrong with IDing as aspec, why did you choose to have your character ID as such? What would you tell other authors who’re interested in writing characters that are aspec, but are afraid of offending the community?

I make my characters aspec because. I’m aspec. Also there aren’t a lot of aspec representation (the little we get lol) that isn’t white or cis or yes, heteromantic./heterosexual. Considering the fact that I’m none of those things, all of my aspec ocs are poc like me, some even trans as well. To authours who want to write aspec characters but don’t want to offend the community, PLEASE ask around. Ask more than one person of that specific demographic. Their opinion should not be the only one that shapes yours! Also, if you’re writing an alloaro character, don’t ask someone who’s alloace or aroace. Similarly, don’t ask an alloaro person about writing alloace/aroace characters. Aspec people are not a monolith, our experiences are not the same

9. If you’re comfortable with sharing, what is your characters’ identity? Do they use any microlabels? Does theirs reflect your own?

Abby is a biromantic ace, Theo is a greyromantic bisexual, Mina is an alloaro bisexual, Brit is an ace lesbian, and Queenie is an oriented aroace trans woman.

11. Why do you think that not just representation is important, but GOOD representation? Can you offer any examples?

Fiction affects reality. Therefore, how people see us in the media affects how they see us in real life.

14. What’s a brief biography of your character? Is their history, personality, and/or looks similar to your own?

Uh I don’t necessarily have biographies for them but I have an oc carrd with their details

15. What are the themes of your story? Is it a lighthearted adventure, or are we talking deep, ocean-sized levels of angst? Why, or why not, did you choose them?

It’s a mix of light hearted fun and lots of angst. But everyone (who deserves it) gets a happy ending so it’s all good.

16. How long have you been writing? Has your style changed from when you first began to now? What are some tips you’d give to those who’re interested in writing a story of their own, be it professionally or as a hobby?

I’ve been writing since I was 8. I once won an honorable mention in a writing competition in the third grade believe it or not lol. My writing has definetely changed a lot, and that’s partially thanks to my English teachers I had along the way. My advice to people interested in writing a story on their own is to invest in a laptop/notebook and find time to write. Any time at all.

17. What’s your process for writing? Do you plan your story out first, write whatever you want then edit later, or both? How might this help others?

Planning? Ha! I write as I go. Sometimes I go back and edit entire scenes before publishing tho.

18. Your book’s become quite popular, easily reaching the New York Times Bookseller list, and now, you’ve been picked to lead a writing workshop. It goes swimmingly, and afterward, someone comes and tells you that your book not only inspired them to write a story of their own, but also helped them discover and accept their identity. What’s your reaction?

I’m...not good with compliments.

20. Just for fun, write down a paragraph of your most recent writing. It can be an action-packed scene, some witty dialogue, or a colorful description that you really enjoyed. (Be sure to properly tag any possible triggers!)

Here’s what I’ve started working on:

Theo smooths out the wrinkles on his blue uniform, giving himself a once over in the mirror. All his belongings of 5 long years were packed and ready to board on the ship the  higher-ups would issue to him He turns and takes down one last poster and rolls it up, placing it in his duffel bag. Perfect. Now all he had to do was go through the graduation ceremony and he’d get his first assignment. His hard work being at the top of his class was finally going to pay off.

“Heyyyy, my older twin’s looking sharp tonight!” Trent exclaims, leaning in the doorway with his own uniform in red. He whirls into the room, flopping on the now barren bed. “Ahh, this bed has so many memories. Come on, sit with me!”

“Trent, the ceremony’s so soon.”

“Theooooo,” he pouts. “This may be the last time we see this room, because we’ll be in space!”

He wiggles his fingers in Theo’s face for dramatic effect. The older twin chuckles, taking a seat on the bed.

“Let’s see,” Theo muses, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “I remember when we first got here. We were 10 years old, tiny, adorable and innocent little creatures. You were so terrified because they had put us in separate rooms.”

“I was not!” Trent argues. “It was just…a bit of a shock considering I always slept with someone else in my room instead of…all by myself.’

“Whatever. You crept into my room in the middle of the night, poked me awake and gave me the whole puppy-dog-eyes-and-quivering-bottom-lip routine to get me to beg me to let you sleep in my bed that night.”

“And you pretty much told me to go play in traffic,” he laughs. “And I still got in your bed anyway and slept there the whole night!”

“And you kept doing it until you turned 12!” Theo finishes with a playful shove.

#✨.txt #text #aro awareness week #aro #acetag #long post #arospec awareness week

[skylights422]

@ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity created a Q&A for aspec authors/writers, and as an aspec author, I am excited to participate and answer as many of their questions as I can. Under a cut since it became really outrageously long.

1. What was your inspiration for your character(s)? Are they modeled on yourself, a person that you know, or a character that’s already been established?

Typically I’d say my characters are a mix of general inspiration from other stories/characters and then bits and pieces taken from myself. I try not to make any of them like a clone of myself or another character, try to mix it up, possibly with mixed success but that is the goal.

2. How much, if any, has your character(s) changed since they were first created? What caused this change?

Oh wow, okay I have characters I still use from grade school and middle school, and those characters have changed/grown a lot. Most notoriously (to me) though are my two fellas Euphranor and Kadri. I created them while daydreaming in middle school while watching those science videos in class about how I could make a more parody-like version of said videos, Kadri being the energetic and comically sadistic teacher and Euphranor being the constantly irritated and foul-tempered student. The core of their designs and personalities haven’t totally changed (Euph is still a hot-head and Kadri still likes to troll him), but they’ve become far more nuanced as characters as their story become more involved and serious. They’ve also become softer characters, with Euph having a Heart of Gold and Kadri being a bit morally grey but generally compassionate and friendly. I think the cause of this change and others comes from a mix of things, for one I simply got older and what I wanted out my characters changed a bit. But also I think it’s because I spent so much time with those characters in my head that I couldn’t help but develop them more fully, which in turn made me want to give them a good story. Also, everyone is definitely more queer now then how they started, largely because I became more aware and comfortable with my own queer identity and spent more time in queer spaces (though with Euph I actually just realized he had to be gay because I every het relationship I envisioned for him fell totally flat and yet imagining him as having crushes on guys just seemed to work better/make more sense, and that was an earlier decision).

4. Do you intend on publishing your story one day? Why, or why not?

I definitely do! I have many, many stories I want to publish, as books or comics or tv shows or films. I’ve always wanted to publish some of writing since it’s one of my main passions and have always taken inspiration from the stories I consumed. I just love writing and would want to be able to do it as my main career, the key will just be figuring out how to focus on one project long enough to finish it. xD

5. Surprise fact! Give a random fact about your character(s), whether it’s their favorite color, food, or even song!

Euphranor loves to sing! He hums to calm himself down and even full on sings to vent his feelings sometimes. Kadri loves literature and video games, and blackberry pie is his favorite food.

6. Admit it, you have a folder on your computer of the various types of picrews you’ve created for your character(s). Would you mind posting a few (or five)?

*VIBRATES* MY TIME HAS COME. I absolutely have way too many picrews of my fellas so I won’t post them all, just two each for the core four of my main novel project. First, Euphranor:

(yes he is a Hufflepuff)

Kadri:

(also since I dragged the Hogwarts houses into this Kadri is Ravenclaw)

Ena:

(I put her in Gryffindor)

And finally, Fiera:

(Right now I have her in Slytherin. She could also be in Ravenclaw though)

7. Time to get serious for a bit. There’s been heavy debate on having non-human characters identify as ace, aro, non-binary, etc., but never actual humans. As someone who’s aspec, how would you explain to someone who’s allo why this can be and is seen as hurtful?

I mean, as a sci-fi fan I definitely love if the non-human characters are queer coded, but it’s definitely important to include human representation as well, and I think there are a few simple reasons for that. One is that queer people are, in fact, humans, and therefore our stories deserve to be told as they are in reality as well as how they could be in fiction. The other is only writing us as inhuman implies you consider our identities as fictitious or too strange for a human to have, and queer people already have to deal with other forms of erasure and invalidation in real life. (Also, not everyone is a fan of sci-fi/fantasy, and they should still be able to read stories where they can see themselves)

8. It’s a sad reality that many stories in mainstream media don’t have characters that are aspec, not to mention without resorting to harmful stereotypes. Besides there being nothing wrong with IDing as aspec, why did you choose to have your character ID as such? What would you tell other authors who’re interested in writing characters that are aspec, but are afraid of offending the community?

I have a huge list of aspec characters, which definitely started happening more once I was aware of my own asexuality (and later, aromanticism), since I realized that I could make my own aro and ace characters and then just went wild with it lol. It’s also easier for me to write since I can actually draw from personal experience somewhat for it. Beyond representation having aro and ace characters also allows you to explore more facets of human emotions/the human experience, so that’s always fun.

As for how I would advise allies looking to write a-spec characters, my main advice would be to remember that we are an incredibly diverse group of people, and so while no one a-spec character will resonate with every a-spec reader, an a-spec character written in good faith will definitely speak to some of us. Write them as an character first, and when it comes to things like how their attraction does or doesn’t work and what they want out of relationships, figure out what works best for them. Really, if you’re concerned your character would be offensive in some way you can always make a post asking about it, many of us are happy to offer constructive advice and appreciate that someone is wanting to put in the effort to write about our experiences. Reading or listening to anecdotes from an array of a-spec people is also a good way of getting ideas of how to portray us, and there are various resources for that (the tags, AUREA collects anecdotes from arospec individuals, and probably more than I can think of offhand)

9. If you’re comfortable with sharing, what is your characters’ identity? Do they use any microlabels? Does theirs reflect your own?

Unsurprisingly I have many characters who are aroace (Fiera is one of them), and Ena is bisexual and gray-aromantic. Kadri was originally supposed to just be bi/pan but has become increasingly aspec, will they end up gray-aro as well as grey-ace? Will they end up as a pan oriented aroace? I don’t know yet, but they sure are a pan a-spec. My most recent project has exclusively aro-spec protagonists, Valentine is aroace, Cedar is demiromantic, Raelene is cupioromantic, and then Clematis and Hadyn are presently just Aro and might stay that way. My aroace characters are often styled after my own aroace experiences, while other a-spec characters aren’t as much.

11. Why do you think that not just representation is important, but GOOD representation? Can you offer any examples?

Well, I think there are a few ways to make ‘good rep’. There is the ‘this character helps bring awareness/educate about the community’ and then there’s ‘this character just resonates with certain a-spec people a lot’, and the main reason I think it’s important is because rep should be for the people they’re representing. So if rep hurts the community or totally fails to be relatable to anyone who’s actually a-spec, then it missed the whole point and is doing just as much to leave the community feeling left in the dust as no rep. Of course things do get complicated when the community is divided on whether the rep is good or not, which I imagine will be a common occurrence, and many examples of rep probably fall into the grey area between Good and Bad, but generally people should aim to tell stories that will help more than hinder the people you are telling your story about. (Although I also think that the long term end goal is to get to the point where there is enough representation that it doesn’t matter if some of it is ‘bad’ or not, since I feel like that is the true state of normalization, but that is sadly not yet the case)

12. What’s the genre of your most recent story? Do you always write in this genre? If so, what other works do you have? If not, why did you pick it?

My most recent story (with Valentine) is fantasy, inspired by shoujo style anime series like Cardcaptor Sakura, while Euph’s story is more dystopian urban fantasy? His exact genre has shifted around a lot and will probably continue to do so. In general, most of my works are fantasy in some way or another. A few are more sci-fi or horror based, but definitely the majority are fantasy whether that be magical girl type stories, urban fantasy, superheroes, or dark fantasy.

14. What’s a brief biography of your character? Is their history, personality, and/or looks similar to your own?

I’m going to go with Fiera here. The short version of her backstory is that she and her older brother were born to neglectful parents, and while their grandmother was attentive emotionally she also lived far away. Her brother discovered magic, long thought forgotten, but killed himself shortly after, leaving Fiera alone and confused. She then made a point to dedicate herself to studying the theory and history of magic in the hope that she may someday understand why her brother would take his own life so suddenly like that. She has a down to earth personality and is very observant, and has a great deal of ambition and focus for tasks. She naturally has a more lighthearted and curious personality, but has become more somber since the death of her brother. While she always struggled with sustaining personal relationships, it’s only recently she started using her power of observation to be more manipulative and always keep a cool, pleasant demeanor. She has a love for fashion and sewing, as well as an interest in chemistry.

She isn’t really based on me at all backstory or appearance wise, and only slightly takes after me personality wise. Our main similarity is that we both can be quietly observant and don’t tend to get outwardly angry very often, and that we are both aroace. But I am nowhere near as focused as her, am terrible at lies/manipulation, and have different interests. I’m also way more prone to energetic rants and blunt statements than she is.

15. What are the themes of your story? Is it a lighthearted adventure, or are we talking deep, ocean-sized levels of angst? Why, or why not, did you choose them?

The tone of Euph’s story is kind of all over the place due to how often I’ve tweaked it, but there are certainly oceans of angst for all the protagonists. There’s just also decided remnants of the wacky humor from when the story was predominantly a comedy, and a lot more scenes of the characters just relaxing or goofing off than might be typical in a high tension drama adventure. My story with Valentine is generally much more lighthearted, though there will be some deeper moments for character development (and also because I want it to have a slightly gothic vibe, just Because)

16. How long have you been writing? Has your style changed from when you first began to now? What are some tips you’d give to those who’re interested in writing a story of their own, be it professionally or as a hobby?

I’ve been writing in some capacity just about as long as I can remember, and so my style has definitely taken various shifts depending on how old I was and what I was taking as my main inspiration at the time. Sometimes I went for more sarcastic and whimsical narration regardless of the events happening of the story, sometimes I went for a more quick modern-ish style, sometimes I would focus more or less on descriptions or dialogue. I don’t really know where I’m at right now though.

What I would advise to anyone wanting to sit down and write is to be patient and kind with yourself. Nine times out of ten what sounds epic in your head will come out at first as clunky and all over the place. But that is pretty much the whole purpose of first drafts; the clunky first draft crawls so the second draft may walk so the third draft may walk a little faster so the final draft may run. The other thing I would advise is to absolutely experiment, and see what works best for you. There is every kind of writing advice out there imaginable, much of it contradictory, so really you just have to mess around with styles and perspective and dialogue and see what happens, which stuff you liked and which stuff you didn’t.

17. What’s your process for writing? Do you plan your story out first, write whatever you want then edit later, or both? How might this help others?

My writing process is pretty much a mishmash of writing whatever comes to me, then planning, then writing, then using a bunch of character building exercises to have fun but make no progress in the plot, then neglect the project for months, then write some more or maybe plan. I don’t know how much this would help others, though I have found when I set goals with deadlines and some external pressure (nanowrimo, reward system implanted by friends, etc) I am far more productive, so perhaps that is something others could try if they struggle with staying on track?

18. Your book’s become quite popular, easily reaching the New York Times Bookseller list, and now, you’ve been picked to lead a writing workshop. It goes swimmingly, and afterward, someone comes and tells you that your book not only inspired them to write a story of their own, but also helped them discover and accept their identity. What’s your reaction?

Mostly I would just be flabbergasted, but also extremely pleased and honored to have been able to provide any kind of help or assistance to my readers.And I would feel very happy for the person, since that sort of inspiration is great to come by.

19. Are there any published stories out there that feature aspec characters that you also read? Do you have any suggestions?

Unfortunately not that I can think of! I am peripherally aware of some ace characters, but they aren’t in stories I personally consume. I hope to find more though!

20. Just for fun, write down a paragraph of your most recent writing. It can be an action-packed scene, some witty dialogue, or a colorful description that you really enjoyed. (Be sure to properly tag any possible triggers!)

Well, my most recent finished work would be the clunky first draft of my novel. So, here’s a silly conversation that entertained me to write:

Once they had bought the food, they went back to the park to eat. 

“You know, Fiera, I have come to a realization.” Kadri said.

“Oh? What’s that?” Fiera asked.

“Store snacks are not as filling as restaurant food, nor as refined, but they are decidedly addictive.” he said, munching on Twizzlers.

“Yep. That’s what makes them store snacks. Plus, I couldn’t get any really nice stuff. I’m not made of money.” Fiera explained.

“Which brings me to my next question, how exactly are you financing our meals? You don’t seem to work a job of any kind.” Kadri said. Fiera was almost surprised that he knew about jobs, but decided not to ask about it. 

“You’re right, I don’t. But my parents leave me about sixty bucks a week so that they can do what they want without me starving to death in their absence. After yesterday and just now, I’m down to like eight bucks, and the next payment comes in three days, so after this stash goes it's dollar store snacks only.” Fiera explained.

“I see. Fascinating. And these drinks you bought us, why are they vitamin drinks?” Kadri said,looking over a vitamin water curiously.

“Because we definitely aren’t going to get any vitamins from chips and candy.”  Fiera said simply.

“There is logic to that, I suppose.” he said. There was silence for a few moments.

“Um… Kadri?” Fiera said after a while.

“Yes, Fiera?” Kadri said.

“You know you can’t eat a whole bag of Twizzlers in one go, right?”  Fiera said.

“I don’t see why not. If it is not going to give me the nutrients I need, it may as well provide me with the maximum level of pleasure it is capable of.” Kadri said.

“Yeah, but you’ll get sick. And we have limited supplies.” Fiera countered. Kadri looked at the bag of Twizzlers in alarm.

“These are poisonous in large doses!?” he exclaimed.

“What? No, not poisonous, they just make you sick because they’re candy. All candy does that if you keep eating it.” Fiera said.

“Commoners lead dangerous lives, it would seem. I shall never forget this betrayal.” He said to the bag of Twizzlers, putting it down and taking the vitamin water instead. 

#Arospec Awareness Week #aromantic #writing #non-fandom #asaw2020