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ronearoundblindly · 1 year

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Eight-Thirty PM

CEO!Steve Rogers x CEO!Reader (from It Had To Be You series)

Summary: Steve returns after a long business trip.

Warnings for smut. Yeah, it's not rocket science. They bang in the office. Yes, of course, on the desk. Yeah, up against the window, too. And a chair. And the floor. Look, it's just smut (with very light bondage, consensually unprotected sex, hint of marking kink, dirty talk, and the ever-expected fact that I'm going to hell). WC 3k

MINORS DNI, 18+ ONLY. There's plenty for you to read on my Light Masterlist, but this work is not for you!

“Why are you still here?”

Your head shoots up from your tablet. You didn’t think he’d come back to the office. Steve’s plane landed only an hour ago, and after a grueling two weeks of flying around the world to five different countries, you thought you’d see him tomorrow after he’s slept off the jet lag.

Overnight bag in hand, your co-CEO and boyfriend is still wearing an overcoat and work suit from meetings on the other side of the Atlantic just twelve hours ago.

You’ve been in this office just as long, finishing up the odds and ends from new contracts.

Giving a quick shrug, you answer, “You know damn well I don’t leave until the day is done.”

He sighs dramatically in your doorway, giving a pointed glare to the clear night that has fallen outside. If he’s brought his bag all the way up though, Steve planned to work, too, the hypocrite.

“What’s left?” He drops his bag in the corner, the door automatically swinging shut, and walks to your side, planting one hand by your elbow and one on the back of your chair to peer at your screen.

For the last fifteen minutes, you’ve been scrolling mindlessly through news articles, dreading going to your empty apartment for one more night. You’d hoped Steve would call when he landed, ask you out to dinner, or immediately back to his place, so you waited and zoned out.

“Ah yes, pressing stuff,” he grumbles at your social media feed. “How dare I interrupt this?”

You drop your hands to your lap and spin toward him.

“How else am I supposed to keep you supplied with soothing yet hilarious animal memes?”

Steve hasn’t changed his lean over you, so his face is just there, within reach, but you hold firm.

He lifts the hand from the desk to stroke your cheek, voice like warm honey tea. “Of course. That makes sense.”

Like a magnetic dance of alignment, he shifts and so do you, forcing you to rise from your chair. Words don’t come to mind while Steve crowds your space, hands deftly finding your hips and petting—pushing, rather—you back towards your office window.

“Is this new? I like it.”

The blouse you bought in Japan, the perfectly tailored pencil skirt is from Italy, and your ability to resist his presence was on loan. Time just expired.

His long fingers bunch the thick fabric of your bottoms higher and higher until your thinly veiled ass presses against the window for the whole world to see. Not that anyway cares; not that anyone can look in when you have an unobstructed view out to the water. You couldn’t care less when Steve is back.

He’s back, back here, back by your side, back against your body, a thin, reinforced pane of glass separating you both from a thirty-story, sheer drop. If you could shift your feet six inches farther, you’d be flying like a superhero above New York City.

That’s ridiculous. There aren’t people who can fly. Superheros don’t exist…but if they did…

Steve Rogers would be a prime specimen. He and his broad, stabilizing hands—the ones anchoring your hips to that precariously invisible wall, the ones suspending you between ecstasy and terror—would definitely classify as hero-level marvelous.

Your skin buzzes, alive and anticipating. Your mind drowns in the wave of rich, comforted by the scent flooding the air around you.

That damn soap.

Those broad hands move up your sides, gripping so firm and hot your blouse wrinkles in their wake until his fingers finally reach the column of your neck. He replaces the grounding effect of pinning you with a deliberate thrust of his hips. His breath rolls between his fingers at your throat. The sensation brings you back from truly floating.

“Precious…”

Your leaden eyelids struggle to open. You hadn’t realized they were even closed. When he fills every sense, what’s lack of sight? He’s just so wonderful to feel, and he’s almost too glorious to behold: dark, blown pupils; tongue striping across his bottom lip; pristinely coifed hair slightly out of place in his rush to corner you.

You missed him. You missed this because this is Steve in your space, and he doesn’t invade. No. Steve enlightens the world around you. He lifts your work-weary soul up another thirty stories high and makes you believe that thing he’s always saying to you.

You’re amazing.

You sure as shit feel amazing when the first prickles of his beard scuttle across your jaw, the distance between you so minuscule now that you’re left with a void of all else but him and his oh-so-smooth, plush lips grazing yours.

With a shaky, deep breath and a sensual rasp to his voice, Steve starts, “So about the Cloutman contract…”

You almost laugh, but you almost slap him, too.

He just won’t quit. It really is so marvelously irritating.

“Shut up,” you huff into his mouth before taking hold of his lapels and making him.

You offer your best reciprocation of hot hands all over him, sliding beneath his coat and blazer to wrap his heaving chest and cling while he shrugs the layers off. Your tongues dance and slow. Your mouths suck and nibble. Your lips touch and tease.

You could not go on like this all night. You need each other after this long apart.

“Got any condoms in your office,” you ask during one break for air.

Steve freezes.

You didn’t actually anticipate the answer would be ‘no.’ Somehow, though he’s never dated much, though he’s rarely even touched you in the office these last two months of dating, you expected him to have…some sort of manly stash everywhere.

“Not in your bag?” you try.

Steve looks horrified, huffing, “You weren’t on the trip with me.” Why would he need condoms without you? his look continues silently.

You bite your lip and try not to laugh.

Door to door, the office to his place is over half an hour, the office to your place takes forty-five minutes on the best day, and to a drug store and back here would cost both twenty minutes and your dignity. You would never send a driver on that kind of errand, so you keep mulling over your options

Steve’s so disappointed, in mourning for his last moments before even more travel, running his fingers along the silky fabric of your blouse, the supple leather of your skirt, and the soft cotton of your panties.

“Maybe we should sit,” you suggest, thinking he’ll walk you over to one of the three chairs in the room, but Steve plunks his ass down right on his coat pooled atop the carpet.

He pulls you into his lap, hands still roaming your clothing. He seems resigned to staring at the sliver of your décolleté beyond your collar, and it’s natural to tease him by starting to unbutton it. Two weeks is too long to go without seeing that slack-jawed look of envy for the fabrics that are allowed to kiss your skin all day. He’s as ravenous as an addict before they fall right back off the wagon.

“Okay,” you say finally.

Steve absently repeats you, but you’re solid in your decision.

Last week was your period, there are no fluctuations in your cycle to concern you, and you even thought that was a lucky break while your new-ish boyfriend was away. Then the word’s meaning seems to dawn on Steve.

“Okay-okay?” He swallows thickly.

Your top is undone, so you start on his, pulling the Windsor knot loose from his neck and moving slowly.

“Oh-kay,” you repeat, button by button.

Steve inhales sharply through his nose. “Like okay we don’t have one?” His face exposes his thoughts tentatively, a spark of something akin to hope here, a flicker of darker desire there. “You want me to…” he puffs out his chest “…and then I’ll just—“

“—come inside me.”

“—pull out,” he finishes. “What?!” It’s the world’s smallest exclamation. All the air rushes out of him. His blue eyes shadow as if dusk hit the harbor in a sudden eclipse.

You push the crisp white shirt over his broad shoulders.

“Precious,” Steve breathes, “are you sure?” Once the sleeves are off his arms, he pets down his beard. “You…”

“Uh-huh.” You nod, sliding off the navy tie.

“You’re sure,” he says again, unconvinced, short-circuiting. “I never…”

You understand his hesitation, you really do, but Steve doesn’t have to become a broken record questioning your choices. It’s a reasonable call in your monogamous relationship, and if he fucking ruins this for you after waiting half a month for his return, you’re gonna…you’re gonna…get ideas.

Ideas like this one.

You take Steve’s hands in yours and start wrapping the tie around his wrists.

He says nothing. He doesn’t even look down. He just stares at your face as you concentrate on tying a couple of knots on the makeshift binding and glance back up at him. He keeps his hands together, suspended between your bodies, unwilling to move yet.

So you keep working.

You undo his belt and unzip his pants, watching his lips fall open and the thoughts racing behind his eyes slow down. It’s a hard reset—one making Steve harder and harder beneath your touch.

“Hey, Captain,” you husk, leaning into his paralyzed hands only to have him recoil in alarm, “whatcha thinking?”

His long fingers grip gently at your face, face close to yours. Steve licks across his lips excruciatingly slow. “Say it again.”

“Fuck me.”

He growls, sweeping his arms over your head and pinning you to his chest. With ease, Steve rolls onto his knees and rises, carrying you until your ass hits the chilly wood of your desk. He drags his body between your wide legs.

“Say it again.”

He bends forward, forcing you to lay back with his bound hands cradling your head, heat surging down your body when his warm skin sits flush down your torso.

With his lips latched just below your ear, you whisper in his, “I want you to come inside me.”

You feel his teeth graze your throat as Steve grunts involuntarily, ripping his hands out from under you and shoving down his pants and boxer briefs. He orders you to remove your panties, demands you unhook the front clasp of your bra, and presses his erection to your core. He praises your exposed beauty while shushing your incoherent whimpers. His arms push past your shoulders and settle beneath the small of your back, angling you perfectly for his cock to slide back and forth through your folds, his hips nudging that too-long neglected bundle of nerves.

No more long, solo business trips, you think before your mind blurs in the low lamp light, you won’t survive another absence.

He spreads your arousal between you for an agonizing eternity, swipe after swipe, making you cry out every time the head of him notches in just the right spot. He could be in you right now. He could be fucking your brains out. At least that would give you reason to be this stupidly cock-crazed already.

“Didn’t use to need it like this,” Steve mutters into the valley of your breasts. “Went so long without. Can’t now.” He nips at the swell of you. “Not a day—not a night without…wanting this.”

He’s slow to push the head in, having foregone stretching you on his fingers, but he lavishes your nipples with attention enough to have you mewling for more.

“…wanting you…”

You gasp as his edging progression throbs across your whole body. His thick length and dextrous tongue coax every thrill back to the side of pleasure that curls your toes and shakes your thighs around him. He thrusts shallowly before pressing deeper, bullying a nipple with strong suction as he struggles to control himself.

“Missed you. Missed you so much.”

It makes you soar to hear him so broken, unable to separate his need for your company from his need to bury himself in you, unable to rein in his raw, animalistic desire to fill you in any way.

Steve fights this nature.

He fights to be respectful. He fights to be appreciative. He fights to ensure you always feel seen as more than just a woman, but right at this moment, it is the greatest accomplishment of your career to override the genius mind of Steve Rogers and make him crumble in worship of your pussy.

When he’s fully seated within your walls, you shiver straight into his embrace.

“I love you,” you breathe, pulling your arms out from beneath his to card through his hair.

Steve whines at the intimacy, muttering how good you feel into your neck before finding you for a kiss.

“I love you, too.”

Your spit-slicked nipples graze his rough chest hair with every bounce of Steve’s frantic and increasingly wild thrusts. His excitement fuels yours, his moans turning to groans while your core heats up like a kettle on the cusp of whistling.

“Are you sure?” he asks, but he sounds so wrecked, so incapable of any rational thought that isn’t pure praise of you.

His huge hands cling to your shoulder blades. The bite of short fingernails barely registers on your sweating skin. All you can do is scream in warning.

Your body clamps down, fluttering a strong and desperate rhythm of its own against him.

“Oh fuck, precious,” Steve pants, hustling to move his arms back around to your front, pressing into your tight stomach, imagining the glide of his cock beneath his palms as he holds you still.

He’s lost and lust-drunk, focused on pumping you full of his cum and relishing the new sensation. His eyes shut, lashes kissing his cheeks, and his head lolls back in one last choked shout.

It’s so much wetter combined with you, so much nastier and possessive.

He kneads gently at your belly, still pushed in as deep as he can be, and lets out a breathy chuckle in utter, debauched bliss.

A second later, Steve easily twists out of the looped tie, tossing it in a heap beside you on the desk and petting every inch of you he can reach as he comes down.

His descending calm only sends you reeling.

You watch the corruption of man in 4K high definition as Steve succumbs to this new, greedy delight. You see the very moment it dawns on him that he’s a righteously common man—replete with vice he’s unlikely to recover from. His downfall keeps you floating on shockwaves like you’re in a mosh pit, his every expression pushing you back into the fog of orgasm.

You did this. You did this to him as much as he did this to you.

Eyes glazed and dark, Steve’s fingertips finally trace the joint of your hip.

The tickle makes you buck against him, knocking him back a little, and slowly, Steve does pull out entirely. He never lets go of you though.

His thumb finds your clit and starts up another leisurely pace. He sits his bare ass on your office chair and looks directly at your exposed sex, staring as the stimulation makes you clench.

You hear the powerful man between your legs roll forward for a better view.

You feel him leaking out of you and know he’s holding that gaze for a moment longer before yanking out a few tissues from the box in your drawer and wiping up what he can. He’s gentle, but he doesn’t have to be so slow to clean you.

You expect that to be it.

He’s brought you back down—albeit teasingly,—returned from his trip to some feral, nomad land, and that’s likely the end of your romp at work with straight-laced, kind Steve Rogers.

But his hot hand finds your calf, lifting your leg to drape over his shoulder. He doesn’t even wait until the other leg is moved into place before his lips lock around that sensitive nub still aching from attention.

He goes to town, particularly ravenous for more noise, pausing for long periods to caress and nuzzle the plush skin of your thighs. He whispers how he likes the smell of you two together, how it’s stronger, maybe because he’s been away, how you smell potent and ready for him, and he didn’t hurt you, did he? He just wanted you so bad. Needed you.

You lean into his new-found obsession, steadily rising high again, body and soul.

Did he like marking you? you ask. Will he keep thinking about it?

Will he want to keep you full and watch it overflow from you?

Is he ready to fuck you again already?

Your words don’t even shame the golden boy begging to suffocate between your legs; they only encourage him. He has you gushing again in minutes. It takes longer for the sparking electricity of your high to dissipate than it did to build the charge.

He simply watches with a smile on his face and his lips sliding across the tender back of your knee.

Eventually, you sit up, gasping for air, blouse and bra still trapped on your elbows, skirt still hiked up to your waist. No more words pass between you. You hold each other in an adoring gaze, giggling when he has to help you put your feet back on the ground.

You fluff your destroyed hair and step onto wobbly legs. Steve races to help, but you only move to straddle him in the chair, your hand finding his still-slick cock that’s well on its way to hard. His eyes meet yours and never falter, his hands steady beside your arms in case you need his strength but untouching while you jerk and toy with him. He unabashedly shows you the full mess of him you’ve made, like you let him see of you.

You look over to the clock near the door.

8:30.

The night is still young, and you missed your boyfriend. He’s full of surprises and you want to explore at least one more before breaking to head home.

@bucky-fricking-barnes-reads @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @fallinallinmendes @deandreamernp @rach2602 @patzammit @royalwritersoftheuniverses @supraveng @1950schick @yiiiikesmish

A/N: Hey gang, so I'm in a phase of this emotional cluster-fuck that I honestly cannot tell if my work reads well? Normally, I have a decent radar for the quality I'm looking for/proud of, but lately, absolutely nothing makes par. I'm kinda relying on you guys to tell me if and when we get to a point that it's bad and maybe I need to take a real break. I PROMISED SINFUL SUNDAY THOUGH, so I do hope it was at least passable as entertainment! 💚💜

[Main Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

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simp-ly-writes · 15 days

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Friend of the Captain (pt.3)

Pairing: Edward "Eddie" Horniman x afab!Reader

Summary: Fate keeps pulling its strings, but your's and Eddies appear to be drifting further and further apart- only to see one another at weddings or funerals. But maybe one day, luck will be in your side and then something beautiful can flourish (with a side of cash, of course).

Warnings: 5000~ words, language and light teasing, angst (emotional, alcohol and drug usage, dark thoughts) to fluff, jealousy, and pining (of course).

A/N: Apologies for the wait everyone! A few timings changed but I need plot- okay.

Masterlist | Taglist Request | somewhat un-edited.

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

↳ "...you're the best friend I could have ever asked for," your words stung, shattering Eddie's heart beyond repair as his face twitched before hiding it in your palm. He made a promise as a child, to always have you in his life yet even as you got closer together, the more he realized how far apart your both were as that moment became a mere distant memory. Eddie was needy for more yet you had already packed up your bags, closed the estate for the summer and went off to find new inspiration worldwide.

↳ He ended up reading a few of the gossip articles his mother left on the coffee table one morning, hot pink, zoomed in features and question marks galore as you walked around in beach wear with another man on your arm. He gripped the magazine, throwing it back on the table before packing his bags and returning back to base.

↳ When Christmas came around once again, you were not at the estate- a newfound tradition it seemed yet your gifts were still left under the tree, perfectly wrapped with each Horniman getting a gift. Eddie looked at the professionally wrapped gift, chuckling to himself at the childish wrapping paper you always insisted on using. This Christmas it was a bunch of little green cars with elf's behind the wheel.

Tearing into the gift, Eddie pauses as he slowly turns the box open to find a custom engraved watch. Flipping it backwards, his finger traces over the engraving- "Always." His mother peers over his shoulder, smiling from ear to ear as she inspects the jewelry. "I'm jealous, Edward," she teases, as Charlotte mockingly coo's- loving as her brother's cheeks paint themselves a pinkish hue. Freddy is already drowning himself in the new bottle of liquor your most recent boyfriend was the owner of its production before Tammy demands her own fair share of the drink.

↳ More years had passed and it was September already. You had yet to go back to dating, stepping away from romance scene at the current news that rocked your world, sending you crashing towards the floor as you fell into your office chair. Gripping your hair, tears streamed endlessly from your eyes as one of your assistants rapidly books the private jet back home to England- both of your parents were just announced dead to the public before you had known privately.

They were on a charity meeting with local schools and had crashed in their helicopter- dying instantly. You felt sick, seeing their bodies broadcasted over live television, smoke exiting from the aircraft as you lunged towards the toilets and threw up your lunch. "The plane has been booked, ma'am," your assistant calls from behind the door as you dress in full black and head towards the airstrip.

↳ You were surprised to find a series of reporters already waiting for you on the runway. Putting on your newest mock-design of sunglasses- it was going to be your first break into another market. Lights flashed in your face, hands racing to pull you into their microphones and endless questions yet the airport staff were not trained for a mob of this size.

They bursted through, making you fall towards the ground as you curled up into a ball- doing your best to avoid being trampled further. You quickly worked your hands through your pockets, clicking the power button thrice in quick succession as your first emergency contact was called and before you knew it- Freddy and Tammy were bursting through the crowd, fists raised as reporters fled the scene.

They were dressed in head to toe in black, ready to take you back towards your family's estate and to the funeral. You stood at the front, head tipped low as your flowing black dress drifted in the crisp cold air. It clung to your bones, finding any skin you had yet to hide as you silently cried, head leaning towards Charlottes already waiting presence as she whispered her condolences to you before pulling away.

You blinked rapidly, doing your best to dry your cheeks as a warm body at your back had you raising an eyebrow, especially when their arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into a strong hug as your skin became tickled by their stubble. "I came as soon as I could," Eddie spoke over the wind, watching as everyone started making their way towards their cars as light rainfall began to come down.

You turned yourself around in his arms, cries turning into laughter as you shook your head into his shoulder, hands gripping the fabric of his suit, threatening to tear it apart just as you forced yourselves apart. You shook your head, taking another step back as you continued to laugh, Eddie took a large stride forward, head lowering in worry- trying to catch your eyes as your hair began to fall over your face. Taking a sharp sniffle you spoke in even tones, "We only see each other at weddings or funerals, Edward."

"Darling I-" you hold up a hand, shaking your head once more as you take another step back, Eddie moves forward as you dance around one another, rain falling heavier as you walk yourself under a tree canopy. "I made a promise to my father years ago, he wanted me to stop talking with you- begged me on his deathbed that I was unknowing of recently. I made a compromise of being friends yet... If these are the times we find each... Edward I-"

"Please, don't call me Edward," Eddie cuts you off, heart racing as he processes the information you speak. I always knew that old man hated me from the start, business over pleasure any day of the week, Eddie thought to himself. Hands now grasping your shaking shoulders as you can't support yourself with the overwhelming grief- falling forward into his arms. "Eddie," you whisper out in a pleading tone yet unknowing of what you wanted.

Before you both could think further on the subject, your lawyers were demanding of your presence to sign the papers, as the only child of your parents. You were the Duchess of the estate now as the endless sea of documents and hearings suggested. And those small hugs and words sat still underneath that tree, rooted in place as Eddie got called back to work and in the trauma of it all, you were glad everyone left- wanted everyone to leave you alone.

The cameras everywhere started to become too much, the people constantly checking in- tip-toeing around you, as if you would break with their soft tones and bittersweet, pity-filled smiles that mocked the constant aching of your heart and mind. Articles floated around, showing old pictures, telling the world of how you were living the high life with dead money but you had money, you had fame, before this all and now, you wanted to escape it all.

↳ That man you were with was an old picture, that boat party was in early spring and that engagement ring was false news as you threw your phone across the room as it shattered against the tiles. In reality you were sat in your bathtub, barley breathing above the water. You have been feeling an overwhelming numbness in your present and soon enough, you were pulling at everything to just FEEL something these days.

Looking down at your hand, the family crest engraved ring upon your finger sat heavy as you came to realize what such titles costed. Someone was yelling your name from the other side of the door, pounding against the heavy wood as you sunk under, watching the bubbles of your breath break the surface of the water above.

You close your eyes, emptying your lungs before coming back up to the surface and clearing the hair from your eyes. You drain the tub, wet feet pattering against the marble floors and towards the vanity- your gear already waiting for you as you got strapped in and flung the door open.

↳ Determine to FEEL you tested drugs, tested alcohol but they both lost their kick. You tried sleeping around again yet could never get off, so you drove down country streets as fast as you could, jumped out of planes, flung yourself off cliffs and climbed up mountains.

↳ Your business was running in the background as you let it run itself. You sent all the staff home for the remainder of the year with their wages at the estate as you walked the line between fear and adrenaline.

↳ Sabrina had called you after receiving news of you being in the hospital. You had fractured your shoulder from a skiing incident, you smiled through the drugs, holding a thumbs up for the picture as she cried at the image. You looked so lifeless with those eyes, your skin appearing grey as a walking corpse yet you could care less. People still wanted to sleep with you, to "live that high life" and you allowed them to just as every paper told you to.

↳ What surprised you was seeing Freddy out of all people telling you off by your bedside. Tammy nowhere to be seen as he gripped your hand- pleading. You look at him blankly in the eyes, almost falling asleep to what you have heard a thousand times before. Yet there is one question that catches you off guard, your neck straining as you quickly look away to hide the tears beginning to stream down your face.

"W-What would Eddie think of you right now? He's off somewhere, probably getting shot at- thinkin' that his job was ensuringhis girl is safe at home. What a fuckin' joke (name), if you are gonna listen to anything I say, know that you are a joke- and thats coming from the definition of it."

You shake your head, now playing with the various cords in your hands, threatening to rip them out as you choke back a sob. "I'm sorry, Freddy, I'm so sorry for being such a fuckin' mess," you sputter between your lips, taking shallow breaths as your heart monitor rapidly beeps, nurses running into the room as Freddy stands up from his seat as positions himself at the foot of your bed.

"Yeah, well saying you are is a great step, now make something of it because I can't deal with all these crying people. Fathers health is gone- I think this is it..."

↳ Under a year later, Eddies father had passed. You remember never driving more of a wildly than then down the country roads, almost clipping a gate in the process as you opened the door with your own key. Staggering into the new dukes office and sitting by the fire once more as you held his head in your lap, he clenched onto your waist- crying before a knock at the door had him switching back off, hardened exterior as if nothing happened.

↳ You stood up quickly, brushing off your clothes and nodded to him with pained eyes and shaking hands. Your heart burned, wanting to help yet the hollowed look he sent you with the tip of his head was enough to have you swiftly out the door and here you were, dressed in black again as Eddie stood beside you, face hardened while carrying his father to the hole in the ground and while making no move to touch you. You stepped a bit closer to his side once seeing the woman from across the fence looking intently at you both, please make it not be another reporter.

↳ Eddie folded, wrapping an arm around your torso as he pulled you under his long coat- thinking you to be cold as you gripped his hip, turning your head away from their stares and whispered a prayer, setting your bundle of flowers against the grave as Eddie make his own remarks. You both going inside the home.

↳ Sabrina openly sobbed into your shoulder, this is the first time she had seen you since your most recent accident as she whispered in your ear, albeit a bit loudly- perhaps on purpose as Eddie's head snapped over to the both of you- pausing his conversation with Tammy. "I am so thankful that you are alive."

"Why wouldn't they be, mother?" Edward questions, looking between you both with the most remorse he has shown today. Your eyes snap down to his wrist as he plays with the watch you gifted him a few holidays ago. "I don't think this is my thing to speak about, Edward." And with that, she picks up her drink and strides over to the table as the lawyer stands, emptying various files from their brief case to the table.

Memories flash through your minds before Eddie holds your hand, you intertwine your fingers together, giving it a light swing while being unable to look at him in the eyes as you play with the ring on his finger. "I lost myself, Eddie. I-I'm still a bit lost really... I'm getting better- promise just, I fucked up."

"Hey, look at me, darling, look at me, (name)," Edward calls out to you, using his other hand to pick up your chin as you blink away tears. He presses a kiss to your forehead, using a soft tone, "and we will find you again, promise."

↳ Eddie was later pulled away from you as you made your silent escape and exited the room, Eddie becoming drowned in those all-too-familiar papers. You were un-noticing to Sabrinas thoughtful look as you exited the house just as fate would have it for the two of you, so close yet ever-so far.

Geoff was already standing by the front door, tipping his hat towards you as you playfully bowed back- engine roaring back to life as he knocked on your window. Rolling it down with a charming smile, "Everythin' alright Geoff?"

"Yes, my Lady. Just curious- you're not stayin'?"

"Oh... no... I think... never mind," you stutter, smile fluttering as he hums out in reply. "We hope to see you around more often your grace, mother misses you like her own," you nod politely, "I will do my best to then," you state before rolling back up your window and rolling out back down those country roads.

↳ That day Edward Horniman was established as the Duke of Halstead. The news once again meeting your phone screen rather than the word of those close to you.

↳ You wish you could say that you saw one another right after that, but after you made a spontaneous visit to the Halstead manor. The staff members look panicked as they speedily greeted you and tried to move you towards the seating room as you shook them off. Placing your bags by the door before walking further down the hall and towards the office. You looked through the french doors, heart dropping as that woman you had seen earlier flashed Eddie a charming grin.

Sabrina clapped her hands joyfully at whatever had been said as childish jealousy ran rampant in your chest. You glared at the woman, her face tilted away from yours, everyone unknowing of your presence before you walked calmly back down the hall. Picking up your bags with your head held high, the various staff members chased after you, "How about you stay for tea miss? Oh, I'm sure the Duke will be overjoyed to have you stay, Could I bring you bags upstairs for you?"

You sent everyone a small sad smile, their heads dropping down as they silently understood your decision. You dropped your bags back into the boot of your car, slamming the door close as you drove back down the gravel roads. Luna chasing after your car with a wagging tail.

Edwards meeting had finished as he dismissed everyone from the room, standing while taking a sip of his tea- his heart lunged forwards at the sight of your car driving away. He hastily placed his drink down, running down the stairs as his mother called out to him, warning him of the cold weather that morning yet as he opened the door, he could no longer see your car and that door shut just as quickly.

↳ You would try again to see Eddie, yet that woman was always seen right beside him. There was some dark part of you that hoped Eddie would never go back to dating, that you could be selfish yet it would be unfair as you had done your fair share of it. Unknowing to the pain Eddie kept to himself seeing you so happy with someone else. It seemed to him the only times he ever got to see you was when it rained and rained it did.

↳ You took a ride around the estate, really both of your estates since no formal fences were placed. You strode over the overside of the pond, eyes squinted at the sight of the woman once more falling in step with Eddie as Luna raced between their feet. You continued your ride, looking up to the grey gloomy skies with distaste and the next moment you looked back across, they all were gone - if just by your imagination.

↳ You were dressed to the nines, a flowing emerald gown drifting off each curve of your body, emphasizing your natural features as you swirled around the crowds of hungry business men and jealous wives as you picked up a champagne glass from a walking tray and returned to Mr. Johnston's side.

↳ A hand written and delivered invitation graced your doorstep, too tempting to refuse- it had been sometime since you last stepped into the spotlight and done yourself up, and so you went all out. You showcased your newest jewellery line- finally finding more inspiration the more times you reminisced around your inherited property.

↳ A rather bizarre relationship you held with Mr. Johnston as well, as he had tried to purchase your land yet smiled and waved away his deal like a fleeting thought. Mr. Johnston have given you many expensive gifts since them to keep your company with him- adoring your intelligence in everything accessory or business related as you reviewed materials for him as a side-gig and token of friendship

↳ You swayed lightly to the music as he introduced to you hundreds of faces, beyond impressed that me managed to remember the names and family connections of them all. You smiled politely, kissing cheeks and making small talk before being led to the next person, ignoring the stares as they watched you from behind- gown drifting away with you.

↳ Much to your surprise, you were being introduced to the Duke of Halstead himself yet for once you were not most interested in Eddie but the woman that stood ever-so elegantly by his side.

"Susie Glass, its an honour your grace," she said politely, red lipstick curving up into a small smile as you shook hands lightly, swiftly dropping your connection before Eddie picked up your hand, pressing a delicate kiss to the back of it. You both maintained eye-contact as he did so, never wavering before Johnston coughed, and you tipped your head down, a smile fighting against your lips as did Eddies.

With your gaze down, you ignored the rather pushing tones of both parties, focused on the small red liquid, is that blood?, starting to form at the edge of Eddie's shirt. You shifted your weight to stand closer to him, starting to open your mouth to question before Mr. Johnston was calling your name.

"You never told me, duchess that you and the duke had grown up together, what a wonderful sight to see two friends reconnecting. If you will Ms. Glass, I think we should allow them so time to reunite," Johnston comments, eyeing the closing distance between yours and Eddies forms as you blink a thanks to him as he leads Susie towards the bar.

"Is there something you wish to tell me, your grace?" you tease out, hands drifting up his chest to fix his jacket. You hold him there as his eyes quickly flash down to your lips and back up towards your eyes. Your head tilting, well that has changed....

"Can I not admire the dress? It has been some time since we have last seen each other like this. What was it, when we were 20-something?" You instantly remember that night, cheeks a hard red as you blindly follow Eddie down the hall and into an empty room, the door clicks locked as you become lost in the memory.

Eddie had pushed you up against a wall, the paintings swinging almost off their nails as your own scraped against his roots, ensuring that yours lips stayed on one another in a passionate kiss. The shoulder of your dress began to fall as did Eddie's lips, trailing down your chin, to your throat where he sucked a bruise as you softly moaned in his ear.

It was so wrong, you had a boyfriend waiting for you back at university, it was your childhood best friend- the one you promised your father never to be with and yet as he picked you up, hands feeling up your dress and pushed you onto a bed. It never felt so right.

Eddie climbed on top of you, smashing his lips onto your own once more as you whimpered and moaned as he chuckled, shushing you lighting before continuing his attack. You began to unbuttoned his shirt. Nails working down his abs as you smirked to the sound of his breath hitching as you created your own markings to his neck.

Nothing more ever came from your heated make-out sessions or hook-ups. Always resulting in being, "good friends" with one another who needed help...

"Everything alright there, darling?" Eddies baritone voice pulled you out of the memory as you his chest pressed flat against your bare back where your dress dripped. His hands on your hips, his head on your shoulder as you both swayed back and forth lightly.

You pick your hand up, placing it on top of his hands on your waist, circling around each bloody knuckle with concern. "What have you not been telling me, Eddie?" that you love me, your brain pleads to finish for him yet you hold your tongue, bitting your lip from saying anything more.

Eddie hums deeply into your ear as goosebumps coat over your skin, gods you feel like such a horny teenager. But to be fair, that would be the last time you were romantically involved. "I think I will need a few more drinks before I become an open book but, I have been busy in managing my fathers... businesses."

You step away from his touch, gathering distance, eyes firm, "I know what your family does, Edward. Longer than you apparently. I believe it to be the reason why my father never wanted me settling with someone like you-"

"Someone like me?" Eddie challenges. "Do you even have the faintest idea of what Mr. Johnston has done, what your previous boyfriends have done?-"

"Yes, I do. And that should make you understand why I still decide to come back to you, after everything," you finish with, taking a seat in one of the empty chairs by an unlit fireplace as Eddie stands in front of you, undoing his jacket with a hiss as you tut him off in a posh tone.

"Why, Edward-dear, it appears you are the one learning new ideas, would you like some help with that?" You tease out, watching as his shirt turns a deeper red. Edwards rolls his eyes playfully at you as you drink up the sight of this beautiful man, even when bleeding and threatening to stain the designer rug underneath you both.

You kneel lean forward, slowly unbuttoning his shirt as Eddie un-do's his bowtie, it hangs off his shoulders as you dress the wound with the supplies sat conveniently waiting on a nearby shelf. "Arms up now, captain," you playfully command as Eddie complies.

"Never knew you to be such a bossy one," Edward sarcastically comments, looking down at the top of your head fondly. You look up at him through your lashes, blinking twice before continuing your work. "And I never knew you to be bedding your associates-"

A knock at the door sounds as Eddies delicate look before a glare, enforcing that you both would speak about the topic later as you wipe your hands and lean back in the chair, smiling at the women as Eddie leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek in thanks as he straightens his clothes out.

"Hello, Susan," the Duke greets the once mysterious lady as you look between the two of them, jealousy brewing in your stomach once more, your hands itching to hold on to some part of Eddie once more. "What have you done to him, duchess?" Susie asks you, hands presses and leaning forwards against the back of a chair opposite of yours.

You smile gracefully at the woman, beginning to stand yet as you approach her, Eddie softly grasps your wrist, holding you in place. "Well, by the looks of it. He has been shot- what have you been doing with him, Susie?" you fire back.

"Nothing-"

"Really then?" you cut her off with a scoff as you wiggle your hand from Eddies grasp, moving towards the door, you can hear multiple people moving in the hallway as you curse out, your dress spotted with blood. "Alright then, I think it's time for a sharing circle then..."

"You killed a man?" you ask calmly as Eddie slowly nods his head. "That was something I did- yes-"

"and by the sounds of it, it will not be your last... or hers..." you reply, head leaned into your hand as you found yourself seated once more. The party-goers were dying by the hour as you all soon made your speedy walks back towards your cars.

You joined Eddie that night, helping to redress the wound, dress him for the night, pouring you both another few drinks before pulling him into bed. What surprised you most was his tight grip on your waist as he pulled you down beside him. "Eddie I am not dressed for bed," you spoke softly, not wishing to awake anyone near.

"Sleep naked, wouldn't be the first time-"

You covered his mouth with your hand, shaking it away as he gave it a playful kiss. You heart lunged at the memory of a moment similar to this when you had just been cheated on. Yet you ultimately decide to make yourself comfortable, just as the last, kicking off your shoes but deciding to stare at the side of his face illuminated by the dying embers of the fireplace.

"You know, I think I have had enough drinks for tonight," Eddie comments as you hum out, eyes falling heavy as you press your head into your pillow for the night, taking a deep breath in- "I love you, (name). I've said it so many times to myself that it surprises me to sound so right saying it aloud," you are wide awake now, exhaling heavily as your legs twist together underneath the covers.

"I thought you were with Ms. Glass," you speak in a meek tone, not wanting your heart to explode twice, only one of you can be injured at a time. Edward chuckles, head shaking as he looks at you, brown eyes staring deeply into your own, "Well that same woman told me not to sleep with the help, I'm just taking her advice."

"Well she sounds like a very smart lady then, leaving all the more for me," you tease out, lips pressed together as you eye his own. Eddie leans forward, humming out as your lips connect, your hand finding the back of his head before a hiss escapes between his lips and you rapidly pull back.

"Oh shit, sorry," you apologize, looking under the covers to see your knee brushing into his bruised side. "You can always kiss it better," Eddie retorts as you roll your eyes and press a peck to his lips. "whats that supposed to solve?" And soon you both are up into the early morning hours.

When you awakened the next morning, having breakfast together in the study, you nearly spat our your tea with the words that escaped Eddies lips, "Would you help me steal a car if I asked politely?"

A smirk meets a smile as you tap your chin in mock-contemplation. "sure" you shrug, pulling the man into another kiss with a chuckle. And thus kicked off the rest of your lives together with a healthy side of cash.

Bonus:

↳ Lady Sabrina brought flowers and a bottle of wine to your mothers grave for a chit chat. She poured out to glasses, sitting one by the tombstone as she commented on the nutty taste of the substance.

"I was right in the end, you know. They are a rather marvellous couple and you really should have ended things with that husband of yours. My boy was only ever the most substantial choice, rather embarrassing to think otherwise."

Sabrina could imagine your mother glaring down at her, slipping her the bird while maintaining a pleasant smile. But in due time she would await that interaction as she sipped her wine, embracing victory as she squinted across the field watching as you and Eddie did shooting practice near the woods with a satisfied hum.

(pt.1) (pt.2) (pt.3)

↳ Taglist: @daffodilstark @leavemeslowly @iamasimpingh0e @kneelarmhstrung

↳ A/N: I think thats a wrap for Friend of the Captain... but definitely not for my writing on the Gentlemen (2024)!

#eddie halstead x reader #x reader #eddie x reader #the gentlemen #the gentlemen x reader #netflix #the gentlemen netflix #fanfic #fanfiction #simp-ly #simp-ly-writes #eddie horniman #eddie horniman x reader #edward horniman #edward horniman x reader #the gentlemen 2024 #theo james #theo james x reader

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binaural-histolog · 4 months

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Zotoro, Scihub, and more Cool Hypnosis Papers

CW: severe nerdery

I don't have an academic background, and while I've been poking around at hypnosis nerdery for a while, I was limited to an extent by what I could get my hands on.

This is especially important when it comes to the academic texts. There's only so many books out there on theory, and a bunch of it doesn't make sense until you go back and read the actual papers.

For example, I knew that Kirsch had something to do with placebo and expectations, but I only had a vague understanding of what and how. A paragraph critique in Theories of Hypnosis wasn't enough to give me the proper context.

Until I decided I was going to rewrite the newbie guide to explain hypnosis from a modern neuroscience perspective and then I was committed to pulling the citations and digging up the actual papers.

At first I was doing it by hand by pasting things into Scihub and downloading the PDFs. This sort of worked, but at some point there are just too many PDFs and it's work to keep them consistent.

This is where Zotero comes in. It's a PDF database that is set up to scan for academic fields and give you a UI for finding, reading and annotating the PDFs. It syncs between MacOS, Windows, and iOS and keeps the annotations and highlights. And even better, it's got plugins.

Specifically, it's got a plugin for Scihub. You can add a DOI number and it'll pull the abstract data for the paper, and then you can right click and it'll download the paper from Scihub automatically.

It doesn't cover everything. Some stuff is too new for Scihub, and I've had to fallback to https://reddit.com/r/scholar to request articles, but there's so much stuff.

In particular, you get the sense of how academic papers can be a conversation, an argument, or a lawsuit. You get to see the most brutal putdowns phrased as passing comments. And the grudges and ego can go on for decades.

There are a couple of papers that I recommend everyone read, because they're just great at summarizing the field and current thinking.

The response set theory of hypnosis reconsidered: toward an integrative model

I love this paper not just because it goes over response expectancy theory from the inception to the general whittling down from "Once expectancy effects are eliminated, there may be nothing left" to response expectancy as 25%-35% of suggestibility and the addition of a "readiness response set" to cover the rest of it... but also because despite Kirsch's hand in response set theory and response expectancies and being in a journal issue devoted to Kirsch's career and achievements, he is not an author to this paper that is reconsidering his work. Instead, he gets a hand clap.

In closing, Irving Kirsch has greatly advanced our understanding of hypnosis. The construct of expectancies that he articulated and championed for decades has well withstood the test of time and replication. We extend our personal gratitude to him for his shaping influence on our personal views of hypnosis and for his many contributions to the field of hypnosis that he so immensely enriched.

I'm not sure what I'm looking at, but I love it.

How Hypnotic Suggestions Work – A Systematic Review of Prominent Theories of Hypnosis

This is a preprint, but it's comprehensive not just in how it picks out theories of hypnosis that are more recent than the book, but also in how it pokes holes and points out weak points in the various theories. It's also recent enough to talk about fun new things like predictive coding and interoception and somatosensory feedback.

Hypnosis and top-down regulation of consciousness

Devin Terhune's papers are always good to read. His papers read like a story where every chapter builds on the last one. This one is a "synthesis of current knowledge regarding the characteristics and neurocognitive mechanisms of hypnosis" and I can't tell you how many times I've read through this paper by accident because I wanted to pick a point out of it and got sucked into it all over again.

#binauralhistolog #hypnosis #nerdery

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lokigonnakmsforbucky · 1 year

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Secrets (D.W. x Reader)

Dean Winchester x Female! Reader Request: Could I make a supernatural request? Reader has written in her diary about her crush on dean and doesn't know he feels the same way. Jack doesn't know what a diary is and finds it sitting with a bunch of books or something and reads it. Since he doesn't know what the book is he reads a few passages out loud to the brothers. The reader probably gets pissed off and Dean says how he feels.

Warnings: Angst, Reader is mean to jack a little. Overall pretty fluffy. Rating: Anyone can read this!

A/N: I am accepting a supernatural tag list, if you like to join please leave a comment or send an ask! I also am still accepting Requests!

Gif not mine*

View my masterlist

It has now been days since you have had a case. This means you got a very long break that you deserved. The bunker was nice and quiet, for the first time in a very long time.

You were sitting at the table with Sam, Jack, and Dean. Writing in your diary. Yes, you understood that having a diary was kinda...childish. But, did you care? No. It helped you cope with everything that has been thrown at you over the years of hunting. It also helped you talk about the feelings you've had for a certain green-eyed hunter.

You have known Dean for about two years now and met through Jody Mills. During these two years, you both have been through quite a bit throughout the time you have known each other. Such as Dean with the Mark of Cain, demon Dean, Amara, British Men of Letters (They were so annoying).

Now we are now raising Jack a Nephilim, son of Lucifer. He looked like he was sixteen, but was technically only two months old. Very bizarre I know. It was challenging, to say the least. Teaching him everything he needs to know at a quick pace wasn't ideal. But, Jack was a kid. A very powerful kid, but a kid.

Jack was sitting across from you trying to help Sam do research about a ghoul, Sam wanted to take him on a case soon so he could learn the ways to hunt. Dean was beside you eating the burger he made earlier and reading an article on the news website, you decided to take your time and write in your diary.

There wasn't a day that you didn't go out to write in your diary. You wrote in it so much that even Sam and Dean picked up on your routine. You close your diary and lay it on the table, stand up from the table, and walk to the kitchen for a drink. When you walk to the kitchen you see the huge mess that Dean has made in there. For one burger, that man was messier than a two year old.

You could see the sliced-up tomato guts on the cutting board, lettuce leaves, and onion all around the table and on the floor.

"Dammit, Dean." You laugh seeing his mess before you grabbed the broom and cleaned the floor. Wiping all the tomato, lettuce, and onion remains off the floor and into the garbage can.

After you cleaned that mess up, you walked over to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle. Afterward, you walked down the hallway to hear Jack speaking, "I have no idea why I have been feeling like this lately. My feelings for him have become stronger and stronger that I can't even stand going on cases anymore to see him get hurt."

What is Jack even talking about? Does he have feelings for someone? But, he doesn't even know or understand how relationships work. He has only been on this earth for two months.

You walked faster down the hall to see Jack sitting beside Sam with your diary, but before you can say a word he read more.

"I really like Dean. There I said it. I like Dean Winchester. I fear losing him to a hunt and can't bear with losing him to a monster. I liked him for a few years now, but I have been too afraid to say anything. I'm sure by how Dean would rather be with other women that he doesn't feel the same about me. Plus, I wouldn't want to lose our friendship over my childish crush."

Before Sam had a say in anything, you were already crossing the room to Jack. Snatching your journal away. Your open water bottle was on the floor, spilled.

"Do you know that it isn't nice to read someone's diary?!" You yell at Jack. Jack holds his hands up, "Y/n, I didn't know. It was on the table with the other books. I thought it was re-"

You cut Jack's sentence off, "Research?? Really? What's your excuse? You see me write in it EVERY DAY Jack! How could you not pick up that it's something personal! Oh, wait. You're a little baby in the body of a sixteen-year-old!" You slam your book down in front of him, "Go ahead and read the rest. You read enough already!"

Jack had his head down hearing you yell at him while Sam and Dean looked at you and him. You know Jack didn't know what it was. But, you felt betrayed and hurt by the fact that now my secret crush was out. Dean knew. You could feel all the eyes on you and your own eyes burned. Tears were gonna start falling soon. You left the room and went down the hallway to your room and slammed your door shut.

You lay down on your bed and sighed. Hiding your face with your hands and sobbing. You could never look at Dean or Sam again. You got up and started packing your clothes. Everything was over. The friendships you built. Gone. The years of working with them—him was over after everything you've been through.

A knock on the door broke you out of your thought. You wiped the tears from your face and opened the door to see Dean leaning on the doorway in his red henley and blue jeans.

"Hey." He spoke looking at you, "Can I come in?"

You open the door wide enough to allow Dean in, he walks in and rubs his head with his hand while you closed the door.

"What do you want D?"

Dean took a breath before he spoke, "Look. You were really hard on Jack. He didn't know. He is just a kid."

You nod your head at Dean, understanding what he said. "Yeah. I know. I'm gonna to apologize to him later. I am just mad." You look at your feet not looking at his face.

Dean looked at your partially packed suitcase and sighed, "I understand why you are mad. But, I came to talk to you because I need-Dammit I ain't good at this." He took a breath before he spoke again, "Ilikeyoutoo."

He said that sentence so fast you couldn't quite make out what he said. You look at him confused and step closer to him, "What?"

Dean sighs and takes a step forward, "Screw it." He takes your face in his hand and kisses you.

His lips were soft but you could feel the passion behind them, You stood there for a moment letting Dean kiss you before you returned the kiss giving the same passion he was giving you.

It felt like pure bliss while the kiss lasted. You never wanted it to stop.

Dean pulled away, his hands still on your face holding it gently. He looked you in the eyes. His green ones are full of emotion and devotion for you.

"Do you get what I am saying now? I don't want you to go." Dean said, his eyes never leaving yours. You smile up at Dean.

"I never will go."

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sharp-edges · 1 month

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yes it was the connor post I haven’t read that intently in ages

the connor post nonny is refering too

YESSSSSSS, i cant be normal about him because no one else is able to be normal about him, the part that gets me, that im being really abnormal about at this specific second is him and his family temporarily MOVING TO SWEDEN, when he was 15 so he could train.... that's not normal!!!!! he never had a normal teenage years, we will never have normal adult years, i need to wipe the worlds memory of him and send him to college for two semesters, i need him to throw up in the bushes outside a frat, i need him to regret taking an 8am, i need him to socialize with people who don't play hockey, i need him to be normal. i need the league to teach these kids to take hits, i need them to try and acclimate the kids who don't get sent to a farm team after getting drafted, how many fucking rookies need to get hurt, and take bad hits for the league to finally realize that they aren't doing well by them. how many more players need to use the nhlpa player assistance program before they realize that taking a bunch of children and signing them to multi year contracts and with a schedule that leaves you traveling and away from your non hockey friends and family for months on end is a recipe for unhealthy coping mechanisms, mary @pwhl-mybeloved said earlier that someone sent in 15 duplicate cards to get graded of a kid who isn't eligible for the draft until 2026, the era of social media is putting even more eyes on "generational talents" THIS QUOTE FROM EMILY KAPLAN AT ESPN

Bedard tries to stay out of public when he can, and as he gave me a tour in his off-roader SUV, bumping some top-40 music, it became apparent why. When he stopped at a red light, a car pulled up with four adults who recognized Bedard instantly. The driver honked and waved enthusiastically as the three passengers frantically fiddled with their phones to take photos. Bedard, clearly experienced with this exact scenario, politely smiled back. "There's a bit of buzz, and for me, it's kind of crazy to see some of the things and people I've been compared to," Bedard said. "It's a lot different getting recognized out and about. It's something I'm getting used to. It's supercool feeling the support. But you know ... I'm still a kid." He's understating the buzz.

^^^^^ HE WAS 17!!!!!!!! THE ENTIRE ARTICLE GUTS ME

he's too young!!!! we are putting children on too high of pedestals, we make children sign contracts with an organization that doesn't care, not about their physical health, not about their mental health, we are stuck perpetually dooming hundreds of children each fucking year.

people want to be angry at cutter gauthier because he "broke up" jamie and tz but i care that a child (okay hes 20 now… and was 19 when the tarde happened, and he was 18 when drafted) who informed the flyers back in MAY OF LAST YEAR, that he didn't want to sign, WAS DRAGGED THROUGH THE MUD!!!!! because the flyers dragged their heels for almost a year and wouldn't take his "im not signing" as an answer!

the fucking amazon tv show "focusing on 10-12 players" will never show any of this shit, the league wants to grow its audience and appeal to a younger and more female audience, but young people are smart, and more people are going to notice, cutter didn't break to mainstream audiences, but this fucking amazon show is going to bring a bunch of eyes, and those eyes are going to look at connor, because there is no fucking way he isnt going to be one of the players they focus on, the league isn't that stupid, and those new eyes are going to see what i see, and i won't be the only person walking round in circles mumbling about gifted children never adjusting.

#asks #anon #connor bedard #cutter gauthier #too i guess #this started out all hahah im abnormal about connor and ended with me screaming about the nhl lack of concern for its youngest players (or #any of their players for that matter)

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ggukkiedae · 1 month

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BTS MIYA Kicks Off Her Solo Comeback With Exciting News

7:30PM || March 21, 2024

MIYA talks about her future plans during her comeback showcase!

MIYA dropped the album's pre-release single 'SHHH!' on February 14 as a sample for 'REPPIN'". Since then, ARMYs have excitedly waited for the album's release.

'REPPIN'" is an album that MIYA describes to be one that boosts the feeling of self-confidence while taking inspiration from people she sees as 'girl bosses'. Her examples include Beyonce, Marvel's Natasha Romanoff, Ocean's 8 Debby Ocean, Hotel Del Luna's Jang Man Wol, and Little Mix among many others.

The full-length album came out 6PM today, but Bangtan's Princess held a showcase for the press and a number of ARMYs at 1PM where she performed her title track 'DRAMA' and two b-sides as well ('bloodline' and 'whistle') as talked about her tracks, as we'll write at the end of the article.

Alongside her album release, MIYA released news of a tour this year, starting off in June. She noted that the tour "was actually supposed to be announced tomorrow, but I'm already here. I'll leave the details for the poster, but I'll be going on my first solo tour later this year, and I'm definitely going to focus on performing more recent songs! See you all in June!"

ARMYs flooded to the internet with the news, both excited over the new music as well as the possibility of seeing MIYA perform old songs again as well as other songs she had never performed before.

Are you excited for MIYA's tour? Read below to get a glimpse of what to expect from it from MIYA herself:

MY HOUSE (only until 2:03): "I wanted to open the album with something empowering that boosts that feeling of self-confidence and independence, you know? Also something that feels like pride for representing you and what's yours."

DRAMA: "This is the album's title track and one out of the four songs in Korean on the album. I'd like to say, like its title, it gives off a dramatic vibe in a way that practically screams 'main character energy'."

bloodline: "Writing 'bloodline', i tried to tap into the mindset of a girl breaking free from a toxic relationship. Of course, it isn't something I personally experienced in terms of romance because we all know how sweet and amazing my boyfriend is, but I pulled this a bit from when I got emancipated from my biological birthgivers. Only a little bit. Just the resentment."

egotistic: "I'd say that 'egotistic' falls along similar lines to 'bloodline' in terms of freeing and self/confidence. It has a more Latin pop vibe that I definitely have been dabbling in alongside other genres over my hiatus."

bet u wanna: "If there were one song on this album that would make you more confident when talking to a guy you like, I would think 'bet u wanna' is that song. Enough said, I think that pretty much speaks for itself."

got her own (with TXT Seri): "Seri was with me almost the whole time I worked on 'got her own'! She was really excited to work on something that celebrates female independene and just overall self-sufficiency, and I'd like to think we made a good anthem just for that."

grl gvng: "This is like a song I made with a bunch of my closest friends in the industry. I think namely NCT's Hannah unnie, TXT's Seri, Enhypen's Ari, Aespa's Ningning, Red Velvet's Yeri unnie, and Le Sserafim's Yunjin. These girls are some of the strongest I know."

shhh!: "You guys already know 'shhh!'. You wouldn't expect the album from the pre-release single, would you? Yes, I absolutely enjoyed the more mature concepts I did recently, so I carried it over with this in a more playful manner that shows certainty in one's own desires."

princess diana (with NCT Hannah): "Princess Diana was an icon in her time, and obviously Hannah unnie and I both grew up in England for a time hearing stories of her. This song was kind of us channeling her iconicness in a... not as elegant manner."

b.i.t.c.h.: "I know it's still a shock for many to see me include curses in my music, but I don't care. That's this song, you know? Taking the reigns of my own life because people will always talk, so I don't need to waste time trying to appease everyone at the cost of losing myself. It was a lesson hard learned."

whistle: "This is the last of the Korean songs on this album. Like the others, it's very self-confidence based with the more alluring calmer vibes. It's a song I particularly enjoy performing just because the choreography feels playful and upbeat."

7 rings: "The album closes with '7 rings'. We can't have a woman empowerment album without at least one manifesting song, right? This is the trap song to play when you're getting ready for a girl's night in the bathroom to hype yourself up."

taglist: @sunflower-0180 @seaoffangirling @yourwonderbelle @1-800-enhypennabi @kamiiyou @strwberrydinosaur @uraveragefangirlsposts @caratinylyfe @1-800-minji @one16core @kimhyejin3108 @chansols @akshverse @toriluvsfics @billboard-singer @stopeatread @allthings-fandoms @jammingjaem

drop an ask or a dm if you wanna be added or taken out of the taglist 🥰 requests are also open!

#yoonmi.notice #yoonmi.reppin #miya #yoonmi #kim yoonmi #bts 8th member #bts female addition #bts female member

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thegayhimbo · 4 months

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Say "I know nothing about the history of Russia's treatment of Ukraine (the Holodomor being one such example) or what's currently going on between Russia and Ukraine" without saying it. 🙄😒

youtube

For those who can't access the video due to the "age restriction," here is a transcript of the 60 Minutes interview with Scott Pelley interviewing Freed Ukrainian Prisoners of War:

SPOILER ALERT: The following video/transcript contains descriptions of beatings, torture, rape, starvation, child deaths, and human rights violations.

As for "Russia is not continuously bombing all civilian infrastructure and committing a genocide," there have been multiple posts and articles over the past 2 years proving otherwise (including their recent attack on New Year's Eve). This also includes the Russian war crime of Ukrainian children being kidnapped by Russian soldiers, deported to Russian reeducation camps, getting brainwashed, and being used as Russian Propaganda tools:

youtube

Between the 2:27 and 2:37 mark, Isobel Yeung (the narrator) doesn't mince her words when she notes how Vladimir Putin and his cronies are accused of trying to "ethically cleanse a generation of young Ukrainians."

If you've read this far, you can probably come to the conclusion that imtryingsir did absolutely zero research, or even cared enough to follow the last 2 years of news about the Russian-Ukraine War, before making their abhorrently idiotic comment.

So why am I bothering to dignify this with a response when it's clear this person is being maliciously stupid? Because of this post. Specifically, the disgusting little remark they made where they tried to justify why a Jewish woman on social media deserved to be bullied/harassed (which eventually led to the Russia apologist comment above when they were called out on it by multiple Tumblr users):

Putting aside the gross victim-blaming and thinly-disguised antisemitism (which I'm sure my Jewish followers are deeply sick of at this point), what really gets me is how disingenuous this user is. They don't actually give a rat's ass about what's going on in Gaza: Someone who truly cares about genocide and the deaths/suffering of innocent people wouldn't be going out of their way to downplay/whitewash the genocidal actions of another country (Russia), or making comments dismissing another groups problems/trauma while dehumanizing them, or even straight up wishing for more death and destruction:

People like this (as well as the so-called "Pro-Palestine" users in the Jewish woman's post who were harassing her) are devoid of empathy. They relish in being cruel and condescending to others because they feel empowered in doing so, and they know they can get away with it without facing lasting consequences. They are doing nothing to help alleviate an already horrific situation, and are just making the world a worse place to live in. I'm sure they'll tell themselves the sweet little lies about how their bullying and antisemitism is really "activism" or "caring for Palestinians" or "Being antizionist; not antisemitic" (while continuing to spew the same bigoted rhetoric that Jews have been calling out as antisemitic for YEARS). At this point, I truly don't give a damn what their excuses are since they will grasp at anything, no matter how flimsy, to rationalize their behavior.

I never thought I'd see the day where a bunch of Leftist/Westerners would embody two of the most loathsome fictional characters in media (right down to their hateful, sadistic, vile attitudes), and yet that is the point we've currently reached:

To say this has been deeply unpleasant to witness is an understatement. 😒

I talked about this in a recent post about antisemitism from the Left, and I'm going to reiterate something I said: "There is a larger conversation that needs to be had about how selective Leftist empathy and compassion really is. By this, I’m talking about people on the Left who will a.) Only be compassionate/empathetic when it’s convenient for them, or b.) Only be compassionate/empathetic towards people they think are “deserving” of it."

People like imtryingsir only prove why it's important to have this conversation: If you're perfectly okay dismissing/downplaying the suffering of one group of people (be it Jews, Ukrainians, Palestinians, etc) so you can prop up your preferred group of people who are suffering because you think they are more "deserving" of empathy/compassion......................you need to do some serious self-reflection about the type of person you've become.

#tgh opinions #antisemitism #antisemitism on the left #leftist antisemitism #jumblr #ukraine #russian invasion of ukraine #russian war in ukraine #war in ukraine #russia is a terrorist state #imtryingsir #60 minutes #vice news #isobel yeung #'i'm antizionist not antisemitic' my ass 🙄#leftist hypocrisy #leftist morons #social issues

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mystery-star · 6 months

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50 ways to annoy Jack Aubrey

New meme format! (If this is still a thing)

1.Call a sloop a ship

2.If he corrects you, call it a sloppy ship

3.Refer to him as any rank below Captain

4.Call him Goldilocks (best in front of the crew)

5.Hurt Stephen

6.Destroy or sink his ship

7.Talk of the service badly

8.Go to duty while drunk

9.Mother him

10.Forbid him to eat

11.Release 60k bees in his cabin

12.Don‘t use naval language

13.Or use it wrong

14.Talk badly about Admiral Nelson

15.Compliment Admiral Harte

16.Seduce Sophia

17.Take his grog away

18.Take away his coat epaulettes

19.Choose the greater weevil

20.Buy him a pet that doesn't like him

21.Tell him he'd be better in the military like his father

22.Give orders on HIS ship

23.Dally around and loose time

24.Stitch his hammock together

25.Do it while he‘s in it

26.Tell him his puns are bad and not funny

27.Accuse him of loving the ship more than his friends

28.Explain the pros of anarchy

29.Call him a tyrant

30.Break his fiddle

31.Ruinor steal his uniforms

32.Hide all his clothes while he is skinny dipping

33.Tell him you love France and that Napoleon is great

34.Tell him sailing is boring

35.Go overboard all the time and have him rescue you

36.Bring a bunch of women on the ship, all the time

37.Keep a tally list each time he swears

38.Do the markings on the bulwark

39.Ask him to "move" the ship when there is no wind

40.If he can‘t do it, tell him he‘s a bad Captain

41.When he insists it not possible tell him not to blame HIS inabilites on the wind

42.Start a discussion about how the Articles of war are barbaric

43.Call him stupid nicknames in front of the crew

44.Follow him all day, making animal noises

45.Tell him a sloth would be a better Captain than him

46.Prolong his shoreleave

47.Deliberately mix up port and starboard

48.Dye all sails like the french flag

49.Bite him all the time and claim you‘re a vampire

50.At the tiniest inconvenience run about the ship and scream „ABANDON SHIP! WE‘RE GONNA DIE!

(Don't worry there will be a vesion for stephen too and I'm already on a "50 more ways to annoy Jack")

Also if you have ideas lemme know! (I'm only at the 4th book so I'm sure there will be more as I read on)

#aubreyad #jack aubrey #master and commander #memes #patrick o'brian #age of sail #boat media #aubrey maturin #aubrey maturin series #aubrey-maturin #aubrey-maturin series #aubreyad memes #50 ways to annoy #book memes #movie memes #enjoy #meme #funny memes

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elkian · 2 months

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I've seen a few of my Murderbot posts reblogged with tags to the effect of "I don't go here but I know of it" and for people who are interested in the Murderbot series looking to break in:

Tor.com (now Reactor Mag) has the entire first chapter of the first book, All Systems Red, available free to read on their site.

Link to the article.

ASR is a novella, so this not only covers a lot of ground, but is a pretty good litmus test imo if this book is for you or not.

(I read ASR twice before getting Artificial Condition, and that was the book that got me totally hooked on the series, for what that's worth.)

I'm also just going to post the text under this readmore because free Murderbot.

---

I could have become a mass murderer after I hacked my governor module, but then I realized I could access the combined feed of entertainment channels carried on the company satellites. It had been well over 35,000 hours or so since then, with still not much murdering, but probably, I don’t know, a little under 35,000 hours of movies, serials, books, plays, and music consumed. As a heartless killing machine, I was a terrible failure.

I was also still doing my job, on a new contract, and hoping Dr. Volescu and Dr. Bharadwaj finished their survey soon so we could get back to the habitat and I could watch episode 397 of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon.

I admit I was distracted. It was a boring contract so far and I was thinking about backburnering the status alert channel and trying to access music on the entertainment feed without HubSystem logging the extra activity. It was trickier to do it in the field than it was in the habitat.

This assessment zone was a barren stretch of coastal island, with low, flat hills rising and falling and thick greenish-black grass up to my ankles, not much in the way of flora or fauna, except a bunch of different-sized birdlike things and some puffy floaty things that were harmless as far as we knew. The coast was dotted with big bare craters, one of which Bharadwaj and Volescu were taking samples in. The planet had a ring, which from our current position dominated the horizon when you looked out to sea. I was looking at the sky and mentally poking at the feed when the bottom of the crater exploded.

I didn’t bother to make a verbal emergency call. I sent the visual feed from my field camera to Dr. Mensah’s, and jumped down into the crater. As I scrambled down the sandy slope, I could already hear Mensah over the emergency comm channel, yelling at someone to get the hopper in the air now. They were about ten kilos away, working on another part of the island, so there was no way they were going to get here in time to help.

Conflicting commands filled my feed but I didn’t pay attention. Even if I hadn’t borked my own governor module, the emergency feed took priority, and it was chaotic, too, with the automated HubSystem wanting data and trying to send me data I didn’t need yet and Mensah sending me telemetry from the hopper. Which I also didn’t need, but it was easier to ignore than HubSystem simultaneously demanding answers and trying to supply them.

In the middle of all that, I hit the bottom of the crater. I have small energy weapons built into both arms, but the one I went for was the big projectile weapon clamped to my back. The hostile that had just exploded up out of the ground had a really big mouth, so I felt I needed a really big gun.

I dragged Bharadwaj out of its mouth and shoved myself in there instead, and discharged my weapon down its throat and then up toward where I hoped the brain would be. I’m not sure if that all happened in that order; I’d have to replay my own field camera feed. All I knew was that I had Bharadwaj, and it didn’t, and it had disappeared back down the tunnel.

She was unconscious and bleeding through her suit from massive wounds in her right leg and side. I clamped the weapon back into its harness so I could lift her with both arms. I had lost the armor on my left arm and a lot of the flesh underneath, but my non-organic parts were still working. Another burst of commands from the governor module came through and I backburnered it without bothering to decode them. Bharadwaj, not having non-organic parts and not as easily repaired as me, was definitely a priority here and I was mainly interested in what the MedSystem was trying to tell me on the emergency feed. But first I needed to get her out of the crater.

During all this, Volescu was huddled on the churned up rock, losing his shit, not that I was unsympathetic. I was far less vulnerable in this situation than he was and I wasn’t exactly having a great time either. I said, “Dr. Volescu, you need to come with me now.”

He didn’t respond. MedSystem was advising a tranq shot and blah blah blah, but I was clamping one arm on Dr. Bharadwaj’s suit to keep her from bleeding out and supporting her head with the other, and despite everything I only have two hands. I told my helmet to retract so he could see my human face. If the hostile came back and bit me again, this would be a bad mistake, because I did need the organic parts of my head. I made my voice firm and warm and gentle, and said, “Dr. Volescu, it’s gonna be fine, okay? But you need to get up and come help me get her out of here.”

That did it. He shoved to his feet and staggered over to me, still shaking. I turned my good side toward him and said, “Grab my arm, okay? Hold on.”

He managed to loop his arm around the crook of my elbow and I started up the crater towing him, holding Bharadwaj against my chest. Her breathing was rough and desperate and I couldn’t get any info from her suit. Mine was torn across my chest so I upped the warmth on my body, hoping it would help. The feed was quiet now, Mensah having managed to use her leadership priority to mute everything but MedSystem and the hopper, and all I could hear on the hopper feed was the others frantically shushing each other.

The footing on the side of the crater was lousy, soft sand and loose pebbles, but my legs weren’t damaged and I got up to the top with both humans still alive. Volescu tried to collapse and I coaxed him away from the edge a few meters, just in case whatever was down there had a longer reach than it looked.

I didn’t want to put Bharadwaj down because something in my abdomen was severely damaged and I wasn’t sure I could pick her up again. I ran my field camera back a little and saw I had gotten stabbed with a tooth, or maybe a cilia. Did I mean a cilia or was that something else? They don’t give murderbots decent education modules on anything except murdering, and even those are the cheap versions. I was looking it up in HubSystem’s language center when the little hopper landed nearby. I let my helmet seal and go opaque as it settled on the grass.

We had two standard hoppers: a big one for emergencies and this little one for getting to the assessment locations. It had three compartments: one big one in the middle for the human crew and two smaller ones to each side for cargo, supplies, and me. Mensah was at the controls. I started walking, slower than I normally would have because I didn’t want to lose Volescu. As the ramp started to drop, Pin-Lee and Arada jumped out and I switched to voice comm to say, “Dr. Mensah, I can’t let go of her suit.”

It took her a second to realize what I meant. She said hurriedly, “That’s all right, bring her up into the crew cabin.”

Murderbots aren’t allowed to ride with the humans and I had to have verbal permission to enter. With my cracked governor there was nothing to stop me, but not letting anybody, especially the people who held my contract, know that I was a free agent was kind of important. Like, not having my organic components destroyed and the rest of me cut up for parts important.

I carried Bharadwaj up the ramp into the cabin, where Overse and Ratthi were frantically unclipping seats to make room. They had their helmets off and their suit hoods pulled back, so I got to see their horrified expressions when they took in what was left of my upper body through my torn suit. I was glad I had sealed my helmet.

This is why I actually like riding with the cargo. Humans and augmented humans in close quarters with murderbots is too awkward. At least, it’s awkward for this murderbot. I sat down on the deck with Bharadwaj in my lap while Pin-Lee and Arada dragged Volescu inside.

We left two pacs of field equipment and a couple of instruments behind, still sitting on the grass where Bharadwaj and Volescu had been working before they went down to the crater for samples. Normally I’d help carry them, but MedSystem, which was monitoring Bharadwaj through what was left of her suit, was pretty clear that letting go of her would be a bad idea. But no one mentioned the equipment. Leaving easily replaceable items behind may seem obvious in an emergency, but I had been on contracts where the clients would have told me to put the bleeding human down to go get the stuff.

On this contract, Dr. Ratthi jumped up and said, “I’ll get the cases!”

I yelled, “No!” which I’m not supposed to do; I’m always supposed to speak respectfully to the clients, even when they’re about to accidentally commit suicide. HubSystem could log it and it could trigger punishment through the governor module. If it wasn’t hacked.

Fortunately, the rest of the humans yelled “No!” at the same time, and Pin-Lee added, “For fuck’s sake, Ratthi!”

Ratthi said, “Oh, no time, of course. I’m sorry!” and hit the quick-close sequence on the hatch.

So we didn’t lose our ramp when the hostile came up under it, big mouth full of teeth or cilia or whatever chewing right through the ground. There was a great view of it on the hopper’s cameras, which its system helpfully sent straight to everybody’s feed. The humans screamed.

Mensah pushed us up into the air so fast and hard I nearly leaned over and everybody who wasn’t on the floor ended up there.

In the quiet afterward, as they gasped with relief, Pin-Lee said, “Ratthi, if you get yourself killed—”

“You’ll be very cross with me, I know.” Ratthi slid down the wall a little more and waved weakly at her.

“That’s an order, Ratthi, don’t get yourself killed,” Mensah said from the pilot’s seat. She sounded calm, but I have security priority, and I could see her racing heartbeat through MedSystem.

Arada pulled out the emergency medical kit so they could stop the bleeding and try to stabilize Bharadwaj. I tried to be as much like an appliance as possible, clamping the wounds where they told me to, using my failing body temperature to try to keep her warm, and keeping my head down so I couldn’t see them staring at me.

PERFORMANCE RELIABILITY AT 60% AND DROPPING

Our habitat is a pretty standard model, seven interconnected domes set down on a relatively flat plain above a narrow river valley, with our power and recycling system connected on one side. We had an environmental system, but no air locks, as the planet’s atmosphere was breathable, just not particularly good for humans for the long term. I don’t know why, because it’s one of those things I’m not contractually obligated to care about.

We picked the location because it’s right in the middle of the assessment area, and while there are trees scattered through the plain, each one is fifteen or so meters tall, very skinny, with a single layer of spreading canopy, so it’s hard for anything approaching to use them as cover. Of course, that didn’t take into account anything approaching via tunnel.

We have security doors on the habitat for safety but HubSystem told me the main one was already open as the hopper landed. Dr. Gurathin had a lift gurney ready and guided it out to us. Overse and Arada had managed to get Bharadwaj stabilized, so I was able to put her down on it and follow the others into the habitat.

The humans headed for Medical and I stopped to send the little hopper commands to lock and seal itself, then I locked the outer doors. Through the security feed, I told the drones to widen our perimeter so I’d have more warning if something big came at us. I also set some monitors on the seismic sensors to alert me to anomalies just in case the hypothetical something big decided to tunnel in.

After I secured the habitat, I went back to what was called the security ready room, which was where weapons, ammo, perimeter alarms, drones, and all the other supplies pertaining to security were stored, including me. I shed what was left of the armor and on MedSystem’s advice sprayed wound sealant all over my bad side. I wasn’t dripping with blood, because my arteries and veins seal automatically, but it wasn’t nice to look at. And it hurt, though the wound seal did numb it a little. I had already set an eight-hour security interdiction through HubSystem, so nobody could go outside without me, and then set myself as off-duty. I checked the main feed but no one was filing any objections to that.

I was freezing because my temperature controls had given out at some point on the way here, and the protective skin that went under my armor was in pieces. I had a couple of spares but pulling one on right now would not be practical, or easy. The only other clothing I had was a uniform I hadn’t worn yet, and I didn’t think I could get it on, either. (I hadn’t needed the uniform because I hadn’t been patrolling inside the habitat. Nobody had asked for that, because with only eight of them and all friends, it would be a stupid waste of resources, namely me.) I dug around one handed in the storage case until I found the extra human-rated medical kit I’m allowed in case of emergencies, and opened it and got the survival blanket out. I wrapped up in it, then climbed into the plastic bed of my cubicle. I let the door seal as the white light flickered on.

It wasn’t much warmer in there, but at least it was cozy. I connected myself to the resupply and repair leads, leaned back against the wall and shivered. MedSystem helpfully informed me that my performance reliability was now at 58 percent and dropping, which was not a surprise. I could definitely repair in eight hours, and probably mostly regrow my damaged organic components, but at 58 percent, I doubted I could get any analysis done in the meantime. So I set all the security feeds to alert me if anything tried to eat the habitat and started to call up the supply of media I’d downloaded from the entertainment feed. I hurt too much to pay attention to anything with a story, but the friendly noise would keep me company.

Then someone knocked on the cubicle door.

I stared at it and lost track of all my neatly arrayed inputs. Like an idiot, I said, “Uh, yes?”

Dr. Mensah opened the door and peered in at me. I’m not good at guessing actual humans’ ages, even with all the visual entertainment I watch. People in the shows don’t usually look much like people in real life, at least not in the good shows. She had dark brown skin and lighter brown hair, cut very short, and I’m guessing she wasn’t young or she wouldn’t be in charge. She said, “Are you all right? I saw your status report.”

“Uh.” That was the point where I realized that I should have just not answered and pretended to be in stasis. I pulled the blanket around my chest, hoping she hadn’t seen any of the missing chunks. Without the armor holding me together, it was much worse. “Fine.”

So, I’m awkward with actual humans. It’s not paranoia about my hacked governor module, and it’s not them; it’s me. I know I’m a horrifying murderbot, and they know it, and it makes both of us nervous, which makes me even more nervous. Also, if I’m not in the armor then it’s because I’m wounded and one of my organic parts may fall off and plop on the floor at any moment and no one wants to see that.

“Fine?” She frowned. “The report said you lost 20 percent of your body mass.”

“It’ll grow back,” I said. I know to an actual human I probably looked like I was dying. My injuries were the equivalent of a human losing a limb or two plus most of their blood volume.

“I know, but still.” She eyed me for a long moment, so long I tapped the security feed for the mess, where the non-wounded members of the group were sitting around the table talking. They were discussing the possibility of more underground fauna and wishing they had intoxicants. That seemed pretty normal. She continued, “You were very good with Dr. Volescu. I don’t think the others realized . . . They were very impressed.”

“It’s part of the emergency med instructions, calming victims.” I tugged the blanket tighter so she didn’t see anything awful. I could feel something lower down leaking.

“Yes, but the MedSystem was prioritizing Bharadwaj and didn’t check Volescu’s vital signs. It didn’t take into account the shock of the event, and it expected him to be able to leave the scene on his own.”

On the feed it was clear that the others had reviewed Volescu’s field camera video. They were saying things like I didn’t even know it had a face. I’d been in armor since we arrived, and I hadn’t unsealed the helmet when I was around them. There was no specific reason. The only part of me they would have seen was my head, and it’s standard, generic human. But they didn’t want to talk to me and I definitely didn’t want to talk to them; on duty it would distract me and off duty . . . I didn’t want to talk to them. Mensah had seen me when she signed the rental contract. But she had barely looked at me and I had barely looked at her because again, murderbot + actual human = awkwardness. Keeping the armor on all the time cuts down on unnecessary interaction.

I said, “It’s part of my job, not to listen to the System feeds when they . . . make mistakes.” That’s why you need constructs, SecUnits with organic components. But she should know that. Before she accepted delivery of me, she had logged about ten protests, trying to get out of having to have me. I didn’t hold it against her. I wouldn’t have wanted me either.

Seriously, I don’t know why I didn’t just say you’re welcome and please get out of my cubicle so I can sit here and leak in peace.

“All right,” she said, and looked at me for what objectively I knew was 2.4 seconds and subjectively about twenty excruciating minutes. “I’ll see you in eight hours. If you need anything before then, please send me an alert on the feed.” She stepped back and let the door slide closed.

It left me wondering what they were all marveling at so I called up the recording of the incident. Okay, wow. I had talked to Volescu all the way up the side of the crater. I had been mostly concerned with the hopper’s trajectory and Bharadwaj not bleeding out and what might come out of that crater for a second try; I hadn’t been listening to myself, basically. I had asked him if he had kids. It was boggling. Maybe I had been watching too much media. (He did have kids. He was in a four-way marriage and had seven, all back home with his partners.)

All my levels were too elevated now for a rest period, so I decided I might as well get some use out of it and look at the other recordings. Then I found something weird. There was an “abort” order in the HubSystem command feed, the one that controlled, or currently believed it controlled, my governor module. It had to be a glitch. It didn’t matter, because when MedSystem has priority—

PERFORMANCE RELIABILITY AT 39%, STASIS INITIATED FOR EMERGENCY REPAIR SEQUENCE.

#elk text #tmd #the murderbot diaries #if you aren't in a position to purchase the books check out (hehe) whether your local library has anything #i know there's audiobooks too and apparently they're pretty good #i tried to indent it and tungl did not like that #tried to make the opening break obvious

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jorrated · 4 months

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Hiya Jo, sorry to come to you for this, but your post on Maya Knuckles was so cool I had to ask. You seem good at researching stuff, do you have any tips on looking for sources on specific groups of people? I've been struggling on finding good resources on indigenous groups from brasil... (I'm brazilian myself but i dont know where to start)

I wouldn't say I'm good at research, as I think I'm more insanely curious and just lucky LOL. A lot of times when I try to search for specific things I try absolutely everything until I stumble on whatever I was looking for!

But usually I start with a quick basic skim-read on whatever google gives you when you look up whatever your looking for. Most often then not it'll probably give a wikipedia page, some related news articles and some unsourced pages. A lot of times I won't use any of these, but it's a good way to get a feel for what you'll need to keep an eye for.

What I mean is that sometimes just looking for the main subject of the research wont actually give you what you're looking for. For example, when I was looking for Mayan stuff, it kept giving me Inca and Aztec info, which is cool, but wasn't what i was looking for. But since these 3 were usually grouped together, looking for Inca and Aztec books/resources actually helped me a bunch into finding what I was looking for, and more! So keep an eye out on how the subject you're looking for is COMMONLY described, what's usually associated to it, what people talk about the subject etc.

Then you can go actually searching for thing now, I recommend using DuckDuckGo! And always check if they got a source. Plenty of articles will say things that they've seen on other articles, which maybe are true! but then you always run the risk of getting incorrect facts. So always check, if it's not sourced, run another search with the info and see if another article has a source.

When you do find an article/book with a source THEN you can fall down the rabbit hole! No joke one sourced article can lead you to 5 sources, which most probably also have sources. So from there it's pretty easy to search up on references.

If you run into a dead end and still hasn't found what you're looking for I recommend checking what the wikipedia page is citing as sources. You might not be able to access everything there, but some links should be able to redirect you to somethings.

In terms of paywalled scientific articles, disabling javascript usually works (right click on the page -> inspect element -> find the gear on the top right of the window it just showed up -> scroll down until you see a checkbox saying "disable Javascript" -> and refresh page). But if that doesn't work, Sci-Hub is fucking amazing. Just put down your ref or DOI and voilá!

For books I recommend checking the Internet Archive! They usually have what you're looking for, but also half of the time you can just type "Book name PFD" and it'll usually come up after a few search pages. Just make sure you know how to download stuff without getting a virus in you PC.

Reverse image search can also be pretty useful if you find an image related to the subject, since you can link up to other articles/blogs.

If you're STILL running in dead ends, switching up languages can help (probably not your case since your brazilian and most likely already searching in portuguese but yknow). Google translate extensions can really help looking into pages with languages you don't know! It's not perfect but it might help you get a gist of it.

And lastly if you want to know more about Indigenous people from Brazil, I got a couple of reccomendations (most in portuguese btw)!

Centro de Referência Virtual Indígena

Probably the BIGGEST resource on historical and political information on Indigenous groups. It hosts around 2,3 million documents ranging from bills passed, to personal diary entries. (aaaaand can link up to a lot of other cool resources)

Observatórios dos Direitos e Políticas Indigenistas

Translated from their website: OBIND aims to obtain and systematize quantitative and qualitative data on territorialization processes, territorial management, interethnic conflicts, human rights and quality of life of indigenous peoples and populations in reserved areas or in urban contexts, in order to enable visibility, comparability, evaluation and guidance for indigenous policies and promotion of their rights, notably those pertinent to respect for their uses, customs and traditions and the exclusive enjoyment of the lands they traditionally occupy, recognizing for this the sine qua non condition of promoting indigenous autonomy and overcoming guardianship as assimilationist legacy.

Indígenas pela Terra & Vida

Youtube playlist about many different Indigenous people recounting their experiences and narratives.

GENOCÍDIO INDÍGENA E POLÍTICAS INTEGRACIONISTAS: demarcando a escrita no campo da memória

Book titled: INDIGENOUS GENOCIDE AND INTEGRATIONIST POLICIES: demarcating writing in the field of memory

#hope this helps anon!#i want to rec also Estou Aqui. Sempre Estive. Sempre Estarei.#but i couldnt find a pdf of it to give it #one day ill try to scan it

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mobiused · 11 months

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Ora..

(from lastyvesniin - translation under cut)

Hello everyone, this is Yves

Yesterday I opened my blog and wrote my first post "Ora [woah]" was my reaction, since my comments section was filled with way more positive comments than I thought You don't know how touching I found that.,, Actually, I asked the company several times and when I got permission "Ah I'm totally doing this in vain" I was worrying about, but even if other people don't like it, as long as my fans tell me they like it, then I'll be happy. From now on even if it's hard to do every day or often, I'll meet your expectations!

[Yves mom sends an article about Yves opening her blog. Mom: Saw this on Naver Yves: Guess I'm a little popular... Mom: Is that so]

[Caption: Thanks for picking out a pretty picture, Reporter-nim!]

My mom looks at articles or fan comments every day, so like this she sent me the article she found Of course replying like that, I'm seriously just joking… Just our world where we don't necessarily have any news to share every day, my mom who is more complicated than anybody else, I guess that kind of little news would make her happy Thank you to the reporters who took an interest in the nobody that is me! And the fans who take the time to come find it, you guys… You already know my heart right? (or maybe you don't…)

[Caption: I added two shots but I don't think my hands even shake anymore…] Now I can't even start my mornings without coffee anymore Lately I've been getting greedy so I have my coffees with two shots I've been wanting to lower it again though The coffee capsule is from Ediya's personal blend I hate acidity, but I found out I quite like the nutty flavor. But lately I keep forgetting… and zoning out, so I haven't needed the support of a second cup, and I've lowered the shot… Thanks to me, the coffee machine stand is getting washed every day.

[Two birthday letters from Yves' Mom] [Caption: 'Activate Tears' button on the the fridge] The first thing I read when I wake up in the morning to open the fridge door I read it every time I look at it Ever since I debuted, my mom sent me food for my birthday She always sends it with a letter too, so I think about my mom expressing her feelings to me I always end up in a bunch of tears falling as if someone pressed a button. So somehow I end up kinda depressed? when my birthday rolls around cuz I'm always close to tears It's something that's been on my mind Someday I must repay the sentiment

[Avril Lavigne - 'Let's Go' on Vinyl] [Caption: Accidental house introduction today]

Next to my bathroom, this is the place where you can appreciate the analog vibe I've liked Avril Lavigne since the olden days, so I guess I listen to this LP a lot But I've left it like that for several days so I got all dusty now You know how when people don't touch things with their hands for a long time, dust occurs from that So, in books or movies, you know how they show the places where dust has accumulated It kinda makes me feel like I'm really alive, or at least that's how I feel If you try shake your clothes out, dust will fly off of it… Whilst looking at me from space, I guess I look like just a speck of dust but When I see dust on this Earth, rather than dust, I just keep ruminating thoughts smaller than dust.

[Caption: Kim Yongmyeong-sunbaenim.ᐟ I'm your fan]

When I'm at home I usually lie down like this I think If you lie down raising your arms like this and feel comfortable, that means your upper body is already broken I'm a mess, but I'm still gonna choose a happy life

[Caption: By the window]

I'm weirdly scared of the big wide sea, but I like water in the fishbowl and the fish inside too

[Caption: My ocean-room (video)]

I found and played the sound of the ocean from Youtube to show you this By the way, on AliExpress (I've been windowshopping there lately) whilst looking around This fishtank lamp kept popping up though? I dunno if this phone picks up on my voice or something… it's kind of scary but I like it so much that I went ahead and bought it Please take a look at it

[Caption: The space behind the sofa]

I'm sure my fans know that I like football, right… When I went to Sangam Stadium there were fans who recognised me there, I was so amazed how they knew it was me.,,? But that time, most people there were wearing uniforms and I was the only one who wasn't so I was so embarrassed So, "someday I have to buy a uniform!" was something I had thought about only, but My manager gave it to me as a birthday presents ㅎㅎ Fans too, probably collect our merch thinking like this, which is cute to think about But right at this moment there's probably people selling my photocards on Dangun as we speak… I look it up every now and then and my heart hurts, but I guess it can't be helped right?

[Caption: The day I went to a PC cafe for the third time in my life]

In Busan, I went to the PC cafe to buy tickets for the match against Peru From turning on the computer to signing up.. Time's a ticking.. I was so exhausted by it all, I wasn't even nervous whilst ticketing (not true) I clicked on a popup too - why I clicked on it I still don't understand, but Fortunately the militia(?) of unnies came to save me, so I was able to get a good seat… They were my older sister's friends, and they're all into k-pop so their ticketing skills are seriously no joke Anyway, let's have a good time in Busan together

[Caption: You did well!!!!!]

Even though I usually sleep through the morning, I woke up at 5:30am to watch the semifinals of the U20 players I really took in the atmosphere… I felt so proud of them "Unfortunately" is something that's said a lot, but I think that's the only way they can express how I feel All I can say is For getting to the 4th round, our players are so so cool and you must've worked so hard!

The best ice cream in my life I like Kkandori the most out of anything in the world I used to buy them in wholesale packs of 100 and put them in my parents' freezer and I feel relieved when I see Kkandori in the freezer Aside from that, I also like Bibibig, Watermelon Bar, Fishbread Samanco, etc

Kkandori and a neighbourhood walk

Sorry I'm not wearing any makeup but I just wanted to show you how I feel when I eat Kkandori

[Image: Trudging around. My daily life.] [Caption: Sourced from Pinterest]

Actually, there's nothing in my daily life I was wondering if I could even hit 100 Neighbours (T/N: followers) but you guys showed a lot of interest, so as soon as I woke up, Wow, I thought I better hurry up and write a sequel so, I hurriedly took pictures around my house and scribbled this down In the next episode, I'll show you my daily life more neatly

[Caption: Suddenly?]

If I just sent it like this you'd think it was just a fake, so My bangs are always usually split down the middle like this Maybe its just because I've had no bangs [t/n: Kkanmori] for such a long time… Kkandori

[Image: For those who haven't prepared, June is just around the corner]

I'll just follow this trend I wanted to use this pic in the last post but unfortunately didn't so I'll post it here How many people feel ready? But because we're not ready, this world makes us despair and cry, but also feel happy about the little things, right? Happiness isn't the goal, its in the journey I don't know it well yet but I'm trying to find happiness in the small things. If you were to ask me what happiness is to me, I think I'd say tranquility. What exactly is being tranquil though?

[Caption: Friend took this picture of me on the subway]

These days I'm trying to heal my weak heart by becoming a plant owner, The friend sitting next to me is a Parlour Palm (or 'happiness', bought at Daiso) But raising it isn't particularly difficult But like its true name, happiness itself is hard. In the next installment, I'll introduce all my plant friends

[Image: Thank you]

Thank you for reading my rambling and unedited writings For those who are reading this, whether today or tomorrow, or the many days that come afterwards Even if it's nothing special, I hope you get by unscathed and have a peaceful day … I have to get ready to go out now I've decided to work hard over the small things too since I made a promise with fans Fighting! I love you

Even though you guys know my name but I don't know your name I love you !

#this was SO hard to translate #loona #yves #yves loona #loona yves #ha sooyoung #lastyvesniin

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