#angst and the hurt no comfort is the best for rin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

earthtooz · 10 months

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x : CHANGE YOUR MIND ! :*+ﾟ

in which: it's 2 am and itoshi sae is outside your door, hoping for a second chance.

warnings: 1.2k words, angst to fluff with hurt/comfort, happy ending, exes to lovers, not at all realistic but it's itoshi sae ok and we're delusional, ooc!sae

a/n: second second chance romance fic for sae LOL he's just too easy to write for when it comes to exes to lovers. idk why the banner is so low quality but enjoy!

you wonder where itoshi sae finds the nerve. after breaking up with you six months ago ‘for the sake of his career’, you never thought sae would have the gall to show up at your apartment, let alone at 2am, rudely disrupting your sleep.

yet, here he is. a soccer prodigy and superstar in the flesh, standing under the harsh lighting of your apartment hallway that always casts an ugly glow on everyone except sae.

“what are you doing here?” you ask, gripping the door handle a little tighter.

“i just got off the plane,” he answers, evading your question.

“i know. i can see your suitcases.”

he doesn’t say anything more after that. before the breakup, you were able to read the untouchable itoshi sae, translating his stiff silences into words he could never say but wholeheartedly mean, breaking through his ego to then understand the messages of his heart. he only hopes that you can interpret the one he’s brought to you right now.

“can i come in?” asks the athlete, his question shy and lacking the usual demand that sits in his tone.

still, you furrow your eyebrows and stand your ground. “why on earth would i let you in?”

softness is a weapon that itoshi sae owns. he knows that with his typical hardened exterior the best way he can get through people sometimes is with pliability. even you have fallen for it.

he frowns, “because i’m tired and i want to sleep.”

“don’t you have your own five star hotel that your manager booked for you?”

“can i just come in?”

the nerve. “itoshi, please leave.”

“i will, i will, but will you hear me out first?”

“what could you possibly have to say that you didn’t befo-”

“-i love you.”

the world stills.

the air around you becomes delicate and you’re too scared to breathe in fear of disrupting the silence, but it feels like the floor beneath you just crumbled and you’re falling through the debris. you’re falling and the only thing you can do is search for sae in the chaos.

but you don’t hold on to him. no, not this time.

“that’s not fair, that’s not fair at all, sae, you can’t-” a sob tears your words apart, “-you can’t break my heart then come back six months later to tell me that you apparently love me, do you know how hard it was for me to just- ugh!”

in a fit of exasperation, you leave your post at the door and retreat back into your apartment. sae quietly slips through the crack you left open, closing the door with a soft click and you don’t even have the energy to chase him out. he even left his suitcases outside- not that anyone would take them at 4 in the morning.

“you left me so abruptly and carelessly. we were together for almost a year, sae, yet you threw me aside, called me a burden and moved on with a snap of your fingers! was it easy? moving on like that?”

instead of flinching at your yelling, sae simply stands at the entrance and accepts it, letting your words prick his skin and sink into him as if would make up for the pain you’ve been bathing in.

“do you know what that did to me?” your voice is quiet now, turned down a few notches.

he knows. he knows that you’ve been trying to get over it and not let the breakup impact your life too much, despite what he did. you’ve been going out with friends, treating yourself to everything you deserve, and finding a peace that he’s proud of you for. but sae also knows about the many nights you’ve spent crying and being sensitive to loving again, he hears about all of it from rin who lectured him when he first broke up with you and most likely, will lecture him again when he hears about sae’s unplanned visit.

sae was stupid and naive, but you were the first person he ever loved, and the world is colourless without your splash of influence.

sae knows he shouldn’t be here existing in your space after everything, however, the instant he stepped off the plane, the first thing his heart wanted was to see one of the few things he loves about japan, you.

“-so, please, just leave me alone and don’t come back,” you request.

the last thing sae is good at is following instructions, especially ones he doesn’t like.

“but, i love you,” he tries again. you fall to the couch with a defeated sigh, his persistence impaling your heart.

“stop it.”

somehow, he’s now standing beside you. “do you still love me too?”

“sae-”

“-if you don’t love me anymore i’ll leave.”

with your head in your hands, you lie to him, “i don’t want you to stay either way.”

“another chance, i’ll make it right, i’ll fix it with my life, y/n, just please say you love me too.”

“you’ll hurt me again.”

“i won’t,” he falls down onto the couch beside you, enveloping you with his frame. “i’ll be good and you can kill me if i’m not.”

you laugh. it’s dry and reserved, but you’re laughing and he begins rocking you side to side. “i don’t want to kill you.”

“rin will, then.”

you take your face out of your hands, looking at him properly for the first time since he arrived. “i-i don’t know, sae. you’ll leave again when you decide that you don’t want me.”

he doesn’t know how to tell you that whilst abroad, all he could think about was you. that during the mundane chores, the tedious trips to and from training, and all the times that he had won a match, he was thinking about you.

he thought about you in the music he played whilst cleaning, he thought about taking you to a restaurant he saw whilst on the way, and his thoughts about you are loudest when he has a medal around his neck yet all he wants to know is whether or not you’re watching.

but you’re not beside him singing along whilst he was mopping his floors, you weren’t there in his car pointing out every fun detail you saw, and he didn’t even know if you wanted anything to do with soccer after what him.

everytime, the yearning for you would grow, to the point that it lead him here when he should have gone to the hotel to wash up and sleep off the tiring trip instead.

but sitting here now and looking at your tear-stained face, he knows he’ll always prefer you- he’ll always find and choose you, so long as you let him.

“give me another chance,” and i’ll show you that i’ll never leave again.

“fine,” you surrender after a moment of silence and sae feels like he could jump to the moon. “but we take things slow-”

“-i love you,” he repeats, grabbing your face and pushing you down on the couch, peppering an endless stream of kisses on your skin. sae’s outburst of affection and happiness is uncharacteristic but contagious. “i love you, i love you, i love you.”

between each declaration is sae kissing a new part of your face, showering your cheeks, forehead, nose- everywhere with unbridled adoration that he has been keeping locked up for too long. you’re real between his hands, you’re real in his hold, you’re real beneath him, and he doesn’t want this dream to end. his kisses feel like healing promises and you melt right into them.

“i get it!” you giggle out, hands on his shoulders as to wrestle him off. “you don’t need to keep telling me, and promise me that we’re going to take it slow-”

a cold tear slides down your cheek, silencing your giggles. it’s not you who’s crying though, so you hug sae a little tighter.

something tells you that this second chance won’t backfire.

#sae x reader #blue lock x reader #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae #bllk x reader #blue lock fluff #sae fluff #itoshi sae fluff #sae itoshi x reader #blue lock

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rizsu · 1 year

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euphoria ? suna rintarō.

sum. labeled, but sfw. arguments, suna cries, angst -> comfort.

rintarō isn't one to let his anger dominate him; rather, he tries his best to keep his emotions at bay. however, there's only so much someone can take before exploding. high octaves of a once calm voice bounces off the walls, it takes both by shock. rintarō stops, his eyes bulging when he realizes what happened.

fuck, he thinks. he didn't mean to. swallowing the burning sensation of guilt, he steps forward. countless apologies flow from his lips, clammy hands trying to reach you in attempts of a hug. you're still shocked. numb to your feet, your mind replays the scene. it hurts. it really hurts. you didn't mean for it to turn out like this.

from a simple worry to nagging to spitting out meaningless words of anger. it never meant to escalate like that; nothing was supposed to turn the way it did. hurt, anger, jealousy, and sadness. he knew your words came from concern, but he was already irritated—annoyed in a way that he just wanted to be locked in a quiet room. both parties letting their words go before logic; nothing was meant to turn this way.

“i think...i think i'll go upstairs. please don't come.” y/n mumbled, pain evident in her voice. as your figure ascends into the upper floor, rintarō slouches back into the couch. a heavy sigh fills the room; regret and guilt seeps into his pores, eating him alive.

i'm a fucking ass, he thinks again.

rintarō laughs. he drags his palms over his face, stopping at his eyes before he laughs again. it's funny, really. did he really have to lash out like that? rintarō promised he'll never hurt you. he'd never ever hurt you, but can that promise still hold meaning even after this? physically, he didn't. mentally and internally? the tremble of your voice said more than enough.

the more his mind repeats what happened like a broken record, the more tears well up in his eyes. they threaten him. they laugh at him. the salty liquid mocks him—it's almost as if it's saying, “ha! you're an idiot!”

he swallows hard, trying so hard not to let his voice be heard. he doesn't want to cry but fuck, it hurts so much. when the dam swells until it bursts, floods occur. and so he let it go. the tears race down the sides of his face. he covers his mouth with one hand, biting hard in attempts not to make a sound.

it's been a few hours. each in their own space, trying to soften the pain that invited itself. no one tried speaking to another—the fight lingers fresh in both minds. rintarō's on the edge; he's itching to be in your presence. to hold you. to kiss you.

five minutes turn into ten, which turned into twenty, and he's still there. still behind the door that separates him from you, hesitating to turn the knob. his hand shakes—he's nervous..? anxious? afraid you'd ask him to leave you alone? hell, he doesn't know.

rintarō didn't know he was in his head until the door opened on your side. he gapes at you, eyes searching for something.

“rin—” you start but he continued, “i'm sorry.”

he notes the confusion riddled on your face but he continues on.

“i'm sorry, love.” he says, hands holding yours as he looks down biting his lips. he's ashamed to face you.

“rintarō,” you tighten your grip on his hand, “let's sit down.” you instruct and he obeys, chewing on his bottom lip as a distraction.

rintarō's eyes linger on you. he observes your face, your behaviour, your tired eyes that show clear evidence of countless hours of crying. his heart hurts. he never thought he'd be the reason you're crying tears of sadness. never did he ever want to make you cry like that.

“you've been crying.”

“yeah, you too huh? i'm sorry, rin.”

at your apology he freezes. you're sorry? why are you apologizing? he's the one who lost control so why the fuck are you apologizing?

rintarō laughs again. he's been acting like a real fool hasn't he? having a wife who apologises for her husband's inconsiderate actions.

“don't. don't do that. don't apologise.”

“but—”

“please,” he begged. pushing you both down onto the bed, rintarō holds you above him. one arm wrapped tightly around your waist while the other rubs your shoulder, he continues his speech, “i didn't mean to—i didn't mean to yell like that. i don't know what i'd do if you left.”

you play with the hem of his shirt waiting for him to finish.

he let out a ragged breath before continuing, “i don't like it when you're hurt. this is gonna sound corny but i hate it when you cry too.”

you wait again but he doesn't continue like before. confused you look up at him only to furrow your eyebrows while your eyes wash over with concern. is he trying to not cry? you think.

yeah, he's crying again. small droplets trickle down his face once more as he sucks in his cheeks trying to not make a sound.

“rin.” he doesn't answer.

“suna rin.” he hums quietly but it's not the answer you want.

“suna rintarō.” there, he answers.

your heart shreds. hearing his voice like this was as rare as a red moon; you hate it. you hate how he never allows himself to cry. he's human isn't he? so why's he acting as though he's a machine.

you sit up on his lower half, cupping his face forcing him to look at you.

“we both did our wrongs so why are you behaving like you committed a first degree crime?” you ask though you aren't looking for an answer.

he stays quiet. eyes lost deep in yours as he waits for your words again.

“yes it did hurt, but that doesn't mean i'll throw away your love doesn't it? i know better than to divorce you for this argument, rin. we've been together for years.”

your fingers start to caress his cheek—some even tracing his face's outline. rintarō's hands find refuge on your waist, he holds and plays with your skin.

“i love you, rin. i'll tell you over and over until you know it.”

“i know.”

“then act like you know, boy.”

he laughs for the fifth time today, but it's no longer a laugh of disbelief, no. it's a laugh of joy. it's a breathy laugh that makes his eyes crinkle.

he sits up, pulling you into a hug as he lowers his head into the junction of your neck and shoulders. a smile finally dawns both faces.

after long hours anger says goodbye as love enters the house. what a day, you both think.

#+ rizsu: haikyuu.#haikyuu x reader #suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #haikyuu angst #suna rintaro angst #haikyuu fluff

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nicxl333 · 8 months

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could you do a part 2 of bllk boys accidentally hurting their partner bu with a good ending please.

My stomach wouldn't be able to handle mor angst(⁠T⁠T⁠)

BABY YOU SOLD ME A DREAM PT.2

thanks for the req anon, i think you’re doing everyone a favour here by asking for this because whew! i was ready to dropkick a mf from writing pt.1 lmao

also if you’re here by chance it’s probably best if you read pt.1 for context before you read pt.2 | :3

characters: isagi yoichi, reo mikage, nagi seishiro, barou shoei, itoshi rin

content: overwhelming fluff, slight angst, major angst (in rin and barou’s part), reader is female coded (the term ‘girlfriend ‘ is used)

tags: @kaiserkisser @silly-ez @scaramouchemyloveee @mariyumemi @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife @hsxhype @aquamarine001 @nxgiswife @hanagoromo-roses

☆彡 ISAGI YOICHI

two weeks. two long, monotonous weeks spent without isagi. yes bachira did his very best to make sure you were comfortable with him, but you missed isagi so damn much.

it wasn’t only difficult for you though, bachira was trapped in a bad position. due to him being a friend of both you and isagi, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. while it was evident that isagi had fucked you over badly, being in a team with isagi and having him as a bestfriend didn’t make things better. he couldn’t just pick a side and be done with it.

unbeknownst to you though, isagi asked bachira multiple times each day about how you were doing. after some self reflection, he realised just how wrong he was for treating you that way. especially since people like you nowadays are hard to come by. someone so nurturing, caring and full of love and devotion for their s/o was quite the rarity to find. and to think he nearly lost all of that with just a few words. really opened up his perspective of things. he wanted to do better. for you and himself.

and so, he cut down his training times, making more time for himself to wind down from daily intensive workouts. he thought of words to say to you, to make it known to you that he was aware where he went wrong and was taking responsibility for his actions.

he also went shopping, to buy you a multitude of gifts. clothes, jewellery, trainers and heels, perfumes, trinkets. you name it, he bought it. it all cost him a hand and a foot, but he didn’t mind, he would do it 100 times over for you. (we should remember this man is a professional footballer, he’s got dough.) once home, he placed all the gifts on the coffee table in the living room, having to put some on the floor due to the sheer amount he bought, ready to take them to bachira’s tomorrow.

little did he know he wouldn’t have to make the commute.

you had said your goodbyes to bachira that same day, thanking him for taking you in for so long with a big bear hug, to which he returned with just as much (platonic) love as you had shown him. you placed your bag in the backseat of your car, turning on the ignition and beginning the drive back home.

as the roads whizzed by you on the highway, so did the thoughts in your head. you were very nervous to have to talk to isagi again, to have to recall exactly what happened that night. glancing at the time on the dashboard, you drew the conclusion that isagi should be training right now, which would at least give you time to prepare before he got back.

as you pulled up to the apartment complex, the first thing you noticed was that isagi’s car was there, in his usual spot next to yours.

‘he’s home?’

surely not, maybe he just hitched a ride or something. although that didn’t make any sense whatsoever. there would be no reason why isagi would skip his evening trainings, not that you could think of anyways. even after joint practice with his team he would then further push himself to do his own training, polishing up on his skills. so to think he’s potentially broken that pattern confused you.

after parking your car and collecting your things you made your way to your front door, unlocking it and venturing in. once you placed your keys on the side table and took off your shoes, you walked into the empty living room, ultimately puzzled when you noticed the coffee table filled to the brim with bags from your favourite places.

“yoichi? you there?”

nothing.

you therefore assumed he was out, deciding to take a closer look at the bags. inside, everything you had ever bought for yourself or displayed interest in while out with isagi lay in each bag. even things that you didn’t have, but wanted, were present.

he remembered.

your eyes immediately welled with tears of appreciation, head snapping to your bedroom door when you heard it open, isagi’s figure stepping out. you immediately jolted, not expecting him to actually be here, even though you didn’t actually take the time to look and see properly.

“shit! y/n, you’re back? wait, why’re you crying?”

in an instant he crossed the distance to you, wiping the tears away once he assessed and evaluated that you were not hurt.

“uh— sorry. i should’ve asked you first. is this okay?” he quizzed, holding the sides of your face tenderly. you nodded, leaning into his touch.

“are these for me yoichi?” you looked into his cobalt blue eyes. one hand left your cheek, rubbing at the skin behind his neck, suddenly feeling shy.

“erm…yes. yes they are. i wasn’t expecting you back though, i was gonna surprise you tomorrow. ” he pulled you towards the sofa, sitting you down and looking deep into your (e/c) eyes.

“look y/n, i know materialism doesn’t take away what i did to you, but i want you to know just how sorry i am. you didn’t deserve how i treated you. not two weeks ago or months before. i made you feel lonely, i put football before you. when you needed me, i shut you out. and i take full accountability for that. words couldn’t describe just how badly i’m in love with you and how crazy you make me feel. i couldn’t bear to lose that forever. hell, these two weeks without you have tormented me enough. a lifetime without you would finish me off for good.”

you listened to him speak every word, touched that he would say such soothing words to you. yes, you did expect him to apologise, but not to go above and beyond to show his willingness to change.

your nose started flaring, the sting of your eyes warning that you were about to cry again.

feeling uncomfortable with your silence, isagi pressed you slightly.

“y/n? are you— are you oka-”

you cut him off by pouncing on him, engulfing him in a hug, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him like it was your last.

“i’m yours yoichi. always and forever.”

☆彡 MIKAGE REO

you woke up in the same hotel room you cried yourself to sleep in. throat dry, head pulsating and heart wounded. you needed some form of rejuvenation, but, considering you didn’t have any clothes on you, seemed hard to achieve.

you reached for your phone, shocked when you saw 20 missed calls and 46 messages from the very same person who caused you anguish in the first place. opening the message app you see the most recent messages being sent at around 5am.

“y/n, where are you?”

“y/n please answer the phone!”

“are you safe at least, i’m worried about you.”

“i just wanna know if you’re okay, we need to talk.”

“y/n?”

“y/n please, im starting to worry, just send me a text, or something. let me know you’re okay.”

although you were beyond pissed at the guy, he was concerned for your safety, and to make him worry for you like that shouldn’t have to be something anyone should experience.

you sent him a quick, straightforward response.

“i’m fine, you don’t need to worry.”

the read receipt came as quickly as you sent it, a bubble popping up, signaling that reo was typing. however, after a few moments, it disappeared altogether, leaving your message standing alone.

you sighed, deciding that the least you could do was shower, feeling clammy and, simply put, dirty.

luckily, your job was well paying so you were able to book a lavish en-suite hotel room, although you didn’t pay attention to that much last night, willing to go just about anywhere as long as it weren’t near reo. inside the bathroom lay exquisite amenities, top branded shower gel, shampoo and conditioner, along with oils and different expensive face care products. an unopened toothbrush pack also was present on the bathroom counter, with toothpaste alongside it. and by the full glass shower itself stood a towel and robe on the hanging rack.

it weren’t exactly clothes, but it was a start. better than staying in your dress the whole day. while you waited for the shower water to warm you looked at yourself in the mirror, cringing at how dishevelled your figure was. your cheeks were tear stained, causing your mascara to run, your lips had smeared lipstick still present, and your hair? let’s not even go there. you looked a hot mess, physical evidence of your current mood.

once heated to a substantial temperature you stepped into the shower, revelling at how that warm water melted into your skin. you made good work of scrubbing down your skin, leaving no traces of any events that may have transpired the day before.

soon enough you finished up your shower, stepping out and wrapping the towel round your figure, feeling refreshed, but still incomplete. you brushed your teeth next, trying to avoid letting your thoughts go off topic from the current task at hand.

just as you were walking into the room itself to look for moisturiser, you heard a knock at the door. it confused you to the core. no one actually knew your whereabouts so you couldn’t rack your brain to guess who it could be. you ventured close to the door, looking through the peephole and visibly relaxing once you saw a hotel worker standing, waiting.

“hello?”

“ah, good morning miss y/n, i have a bag here requested to be brought to you.”

if you weren’t confused before, you were bewildered now. this meant that someone hand to have known where’d you were, but how? only one way to find out.

“requested by who, might i ask?”

“mr…mikage reo?”

what the actual hell. you were well and truly silenced by the revelation. more importantly, it’s quite amazing how he managed to find your location with such haste. although it shouldn’t really surprise you so much, considering he probably had connections due to his status. it made you wonder just what exactly he brought to you.

“erm ma’am?”

you cracked the door open, seeing one of reo’s duffel bags stuffed to the brim. the hotel worker held it out for you to take, bowing then turning to leave immediately after. you carried the heavy bag through the room, placing it on the ottoman at the end of the bed.

you stood for a second, debating whether you should open it or not. curiosity got the better of you though, and you unzipped the bag, stalling when you realised it was a bag of clothes for you, as well as the moisturiser you use, some makeup products and your favourite trainers. it’s like he somehow knew you would need clothes, probably since you didn’t return home last night.

taking the clothes from the bag you realised he packed you one of your favourite hoodies, his own hoodie.

after moisturising yourself you started to put the clothes on, feeling slightly better about yourself. you looked into your makeup bag, seeing some of your basic everyday skin and hair products, as well as your everyday perfume, feeling grateful that reo at least paid attention enough to know what you liked and used.

just as you had finished your skincare routine you heard another lock at the door, wondering who it could be at this time. you got up and crossed your way to the door, looking through the peephole and freezing.

your boyfriend, reo stood at the door, looking around nervously.

you gauged your options for a moment, reaching an ultimatum with yourself that you couldn’t avoid him forever. you opened the door fully, stepping to the side for him to walk in, which he did, stepping meticulously and with precaution, while you closed the door behind him.

all was silent for a moment, neither party knowing what to say to the other, a million thoughts rushing through the room. the tension was taut, the air thick, and awkwardness seeping in.

you collected yourself, deciding to start it off.

“thanks for the clothes, i appreciate it.”

“it’s…the least i could do, considering how i treated you.” he said, simultaneously biting down on his lip.

“yeah.”

he moved closer towards you, looking at your expression to see if he was crossing boundaries at any point.

“y/n.” you looked at him with apprehension, worried about what may fly out of his mouth next. “i want you to know that what happened last night, was entirely my fault. i need you to understand that.”

you frowned with sadness displayed on your face. yes he may be owning up to his actions, but that didn’t explain why he said what he said. especially if he could say something of that degree to you with such ease. it sounded like he meant every word.

becoming slightly anxious from your silence, he continued on.

“i made you it sound like you were inadequate or you were lower than me because i have money. i know it sounds bad, but y/n, it’s really the opposite. you don’t look at me for my background, you look at me for who i am as a person. you make me feel normal. make me feel like i can be myself around you. i don’t have to keep myself guarded around you and i appreciate you so much for it. i guess that’s why i spoke out of turn to you like that last night. because you’re probably the only person who can actually knock me down a peg. and having nagi hear that made me scared. scared because i was vulnerable in front of him. of course, i’m not excusing my actions, and i’m not asking for forgiveness, i just want you to know i’m sorry.”

you nodded slowly in understanding, looking at the way he subconsciously tugged on a piece of his violet tresses. he left his hair down today. you loved it when his hair was down. he knew that.

“i hear you reo, but that’s not the only issue. this whole problem stemmed from the fact that you spend too much time with nagi. i don’t wanna be the girlfriend that prohibits you from spending time with your friends, that’s not who i am, but when you’re with nagi so much that it makes you forget important dates, that’s when it becomes a problem. especially when you then make it out to be like i’m the problem. no one is saying you can’t be around him, but have a backbone please. he’s always there reo. sometimes i just want you to myself, is that too much to ask for?”

he realised where he went wrong, casting you aside for the sake of nagi, which wasn’t cool. and he didn’t want to lose you. you were too good to him and he felt so strongly about you. anything you asked for could never be too much, not to him.

and so, he stepped closer to you still, scooping you up in his arms and spinning you around, relishing in the way you wrapped your arms around his neck, both for stabilisation and comfort.

“no baby, it’s never too much. not when it comes to you.”

you squeezed him tighter, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck and smiling.

“i don’t like it when we fight reo, i love you too much for that.”

“i love you too y/n,” he placed you down gently on the bed, laying you back and caging you in with both arms, his hair hanging directly over your face. “so…we’re gonna go back home and i want you to pack your bags. we’re going to mykonos for the week to celebrate our anniversary together.”

you straightened up, wondering where this was all coming from.

“huh? reo, you’re forgetting something? you may be off season right now but i still have work.”

“not for the next two weeks, i pulled some strings so now you have paid time off, which, gives you more time with your favourite man.”

you chuckled at his revelation, knowing he definitely used his power to threaten your manager. reo could be so demanding at times.

“speaking of which, do you know where he is?” his face immediately darkened at that.

“wanna repeat that?”

“nope!”

☆彡 NAGI SEISHIRO

nagi was in a state. it had only been 4 days since you broke up with him, but that was 4 days too long for him. it wasn’t actually until you broke it off with him and it sunk in that you were gone, that it really registered for him.

he missed you.

it made him realise, as much as he hated being bothered…he didn’t mind if it were you. he really did enjoy spending time with you. especially when cuddling. your figure was so soft, a perfect cushion for him to lay on as he slept. you would play with his hair so gently, lulling him to sleep. and you were really pretty.

the apartment just seemed all the more empty without you. yes, he did live alone pre blue lock a few years back, but having you live with him made him get used to having someone around. he grew comfortable and accustomed to it. so much so that it felt lonely when you left.

you had temporarily went back to your parents house while you looked for a new place to live. you had a few items of miscellaneous clothing left behind in your room, but you had ran out, thus needing the majority of your stuff, which you had left back at nagi’s.

you left off, with the promise to your parents that you’d be back soon.

the engine hummed as you drove back, playing your playlist on a high volume, hoping to drown out the thoughts spiralling in your head, although it did little to silence them.

you didn’t plan a time to leave out, but realised that you had coincidentally headed out at the same time nagi would be home, a meeting inevitable. oh well. had to happen at some point. you planned on a quick and brisk pit stop, hoping to minimise interaction with him as much as possible.

you pulled up to the apartment complex, walking through the lobby, swiping your keycard and pressing the lift to go to the penthouse.

in no time you reached the top, the lift doors opening. you stepped out and pushed your key into the lock, opening the door as silently as you could, walking in and shutting it with a click.

yes, you may have been moving around like a teenager after a forbidden night out, but you would much rather that than have to be further insulted by nagi, should he catch you.

alas, things cannot always go smoothly in life, for nagi had heard you, stepping out of the bedroom, shirtless with loosely hanging shorts, evidently having just woken up from a nap.

he instantly stopped, rubbing his eyes to see if he was tweaking or not. yet, you stood there, trying to disappear in that moment.

“y/n…you’re here.”

“only to get my things nagi, i’ll be out of your hair in around half an hour.”

nagi. his own name turned his mood sour. he’d much rather you call him by his actual name, or sei, not his last. and you knew that fact very well, making sure he knew damn well you were serious.

you begun to hurriedly walk towards the bedroom, where he was standing by the door, attempting to walk past him as quickly as possible. he intervened however, stepping about halfway into the door so that you were now directly in front of him and couldn’t get past, unless you spoke to him.

“are you really leaving y/n?”

“it’s l/n to you nagi, and yes. you don’t get to say something like that to me and think we’ll be cool after. it’s fucked up.”

you turned so he couldn’t see you, tears beginning to form at the painful recollection of what occurred a few days ago. you didn’t trust yourself to say anything else, for the fear of bursting into tears held you back.

“please don’t leave me y/n, i can do better, i promise. i regret what i said. really badly. i’m— i’m sorry.”

you knew that nagi didn’t like talking as it is (he referred to it as a hassle), so to have him trying to at least communicate with you did mean something. not enough to satiate you though.

“y/n?”

when you didn’t say anything back he lightly tugged your hand and turned you around, eyes widening once he saw tears streaming down your face.

he attempted to console you, wanting to pull you into a hug, but drawing back when you lightly pushed him off you.

“y/n- what’s wrong?”

“i can’t sei, i’m scared. scared you’ll grow bored of me. i don’t know if i’m bothering you or not and it kills me to think that you’d spend more time on games than with me. you basically told me i’m a hassle. how the hell else am i supposed to take that?”

your tears wouldn’t stop pouring down no matter how much you tried to calm yourself down, sniffles loud and clear as day.

something unusual happened to nagi as he watched you cry your eyes out. he felt his heart breaking into tiny shards at your state. more so because he knew it was because of him. he didn’t want to be the cause of your pain. he didn’t want to see you like this, experiencing such distress.

he wrapped his arms around you, one hand shielding your head and pulling your face into his bare chest, where you sobbed some more, letting up all the feelings built up from days prior.

“you’re not a hassle y/n. i said that out of turn. you could never be a hassle to me. while you were gone, i couldn’t even play my games properly. i just slept and trained because i missed you so much and didn’t know what to do without you. i know i’m lazy, and i know i don’t make you feel loved enough, but i do. i love you. i’ll do better for you and i don’t wanna be the reason why you’re upset. so please stop crying, wanna see your pretty face smile for me.”

you smiled into his chest, your sniffles beginning to subside and still.

“thank you sei, i really needed to hear that.”

“i would say it over 100 times for you. it might take a while but i won’t get bored of it. not when it comes to you.”

you wrapped your arms around his broad figure, squeezing tightly.

“will you be my girlfriend again y/n? no one else can reach your level. not now, not ever.”

you let go of his body, instead placing your palms on the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss.

“of course i will seishiro.”

“good, because i wanna cuddle with my girlfriend.”

☆彡 BAROU SHOUEI

it had been 2 months since you broke up with barou and he was miserable. who would’ve thought you leaving would cause such a rift in his life? his performance in matches were shit, he became pissed off at people more easily, and he was benched more often.

due to him not having someone to talk to, he essentially had no form of a wind down from football, something you were able to give him while you were together. something he had come to miss, and wished he appreciated more.

the lack of your items in the house made your departure all the more apparent. your decorations and items around the apartment were what made the house a home.

and you as a person? what wasn’t to like about you? you were a very levelheaded but gentle person, a great contrast to his fiery, angry personality. you catered to his every need, be it mentally, physically or sexually. your voice was what carried him through his day, soothing him to the bone, calming him down when he needed it. the more he thought about it, the more he realised he made a grave mistake pushing you out. the more he realised just how much he was attached to you, he was just unwilling to acknowledge it.

barou was no pussy, and he had enough of living like this, living without you, so he decided to get you back (and not fuck up this time).

he knew you were most likely staying at your childhood friend, chigiri’s house. he knew him very well, having done the blue lock training program with him years back, and played against him in several matches. he knew where he lived, having gone to parties held at his house through mutual connections.

and so, after practice, he grabbed his car keys and set off. he weren’t good with words, so his mind stayed scrambled as he thought of all the things he could say to you. while he couldn’t think of specific sentences to say to you, his goal remained the same.

after some time passed, he pulled up to chigiri’s house, your car the only one on the drive, which meant that only you were home. he switched off the ignition, stepped out of the car and walked up to the door.

with slight hesitancy, he lifted his fist to the door and knocked three times. he listened for any shuffling inside, but heard none. after a moment he turned away to leave, thinking you might’ve not been there after all. it’s possible you might’ve been out with chigiri in his car. yeah, that was probably it.

however.

“what do you want barou? i thought i was ‘making your life too hard’?”

shit, you were home. your voice was muffled, due to you speaking through the door, having seen his figure through the peephole.

“i- i didn’t mean that. not that way.”

you opened the door, allowing him to see a crack of your figure, donned in shorts and a tank top.

“then how did you mean it barou? don’t take me for an idiot, because i’m not one. no one says anything of that depth if you didn’t feel that exact way before. so before you let anymore bullshit spout from your mouth tell me exactly how you meant it, in what context. because i’m tired barou, tired of being in a relationship where i feel like i’m treading on glass around you because you don’t wanna do certain things. it’s not a nice feeling. you may not feel that way, but i do. i’ve felt that way during our whole relationship, but i feel like i can’t tell you shit so i’ve kept. it. in.”

wow. he really didn’t see things from your perspective. once he heard it from you, he realised just how much of a dickhead he sounded like. he couldn’t say anything, how could he explain himself after that?

he didn’t.

and after hearing no refutation or explanation from barou, you simply let go of any hopes of talking this out with him.

“shouei,” his ears perked at you using his first name. “i think…you should go. i don’t wanna have any hard feelings between us but i don’t think we’re right for each other. please understand and respect tha-”

you stopped short of ending your sentence upon seeing barou turn and leave before he could hear you out, getting back into his car and preparing to drive off.

you sighed, shaking your head and closing the door, effectually ending your relationship for good.

he got what he wanted, right?

☆彡 ITOSHI RIN

you woke up in the morning, immediately panning your vision to your left to see if rin had returned to bed. the bed imprints remained the exact same as you had left it when you fell asleep, which lead you to wonder if rin had even returned home.

you slid out of bed, your feet touching the cold wood floor, you trudged your way through the apartment, looking for signs of life, your shoulders falling in disappointment when you realised rin was nowhere to be seen. it was debatable if he even came home or not, the answer you would probably never find out.

you warred with yourself in your head about what to do. considering rin didn’t even try to talk to you to rectify the situation showed he didn’t really give a shit. if he didn’t come home, then he probably didn’t even know if you came home or not, which meant he isn’t worrying about you or where you were.

you weren’t a dickhead, and waiting for someone who evidently didn’t want you seemed like such a desperate action, which you weren’t trying to act like.

and so, calling a few willing friends, shedding some tears here and there, and half a day of hard work, you had effectively moved out of your shared apartment with rin, leaving a half completed home. he didn’t return home the whole day, not that you gave a shit anymore.

imagine rin’s surprise when he returned home from his team practice, expecting to see you moping around somewhere, but instead, nowhere to be found. as a matter of fact, where the fuck was your stuff? the apartment looked very much empty right now. he took at least 15 minutes to look around, analysing his surroundings, the same he would do during a game. any potted plants you bought for the house, specifically for the living room disappeared. your stupid candle ornaments that somehow made the house look better? not a ghost of a trace left behind. your clothes? gone. even from the laundry basket, only his clothes remained.

your products, your favourite sleeping pillow, even your toothbrush was gone. you left no stone unturned, questionable if you ever lived there in the first place.

still slightly puzzled but somewhat aware of the answer behind all of this, he pulled out his phone, clicking immediately on the message app. he sent you a message, heart dropping and suspicions confirmed when his message was not only green, but displayed a ‘not delivered’ message underneath. you had blocked him, and moved out without his knowledge.

he knew you were pissed off from what had transpired, but he didn’t know you would take action this soon. you didn’t even wait to talk to him for the love of god. this wasn’t supposed to happen this way, he was only angry at you because he felt threatened in the moment. but, recalling just exactly what he said to you, maybe it was warranted.

maybe it was for the best. you barely had enough time together as it is, due to unmatchable schedules and rin always being abroad. he was never able to give you enough love. funny, considering he didn’t even make sure to tell you. looking back on it, he realised he was kind of a dickhead to you.

so, he let go of the relationship for good.

—

four months had passed. he’d gotten bigger as a football player after his team winning a multitude of matches had lead to him becoming their star player, constantly getting man of the match achievements. this lead to his popularity increasing, getting more fans and fame as a result. he had been abroad this whole time, focusing on his career.

oh. but don’t think he had escaped you.

he couldn’t get his mind off you.

you tormented his thoughts daily and nightly, his yearning for you and hate for himself flourishing simultaneously as he repeatedly recalled how he fucked up. he wished he could go back to that night, heeding your warnings.

either way, that couldn’t be achieved now, for he didn’t know your whereabouts. he hadn’t known since that night on the pitch.

he tried to move on the best he could, returning back to japan to visit his parents whilst he had time off from football.

it just so happened one day while he popped out to a grocery store to get ingredients for his mother, the he saw the back of a familiar head, whisking away to the next aisle over. piquing his curiosity, he immediately paced to see if it way really who he thought it was.

and yes, the face he thought he’d never see again, the very same person who had been frequenting his mind,

you.

“y/n!” you froze, not expecting to find him here of all places. last time you had seen on tv, he was abroad. he wasn’t supposed to be here. deciding you had to face the music at some point, you turned around, watching as his demeanour melted, at really seeing you again after so long.

“rin…hi.”

all was silent for a moment, not knowing what to say to each other. what does one say in situations such as these? not to worry, rin answered for you.

“how…how’ve you been?”

“good thanks, how about you?”

“i’ve been— alright.”

silence settled again. rin wanted to voice so many things to you, starting with how he wanted you to know how he’s changed. how he’s calmed down in terms of training. how he’d make more time. he wanted you to know he’d do things differently, if you ever took him back. he wanted you to come home… but he didn’t know where to start.

he would have to at some point however, for you wanted to get away from him as soon as possible.

“well…um, it was good seeing yo-”

“wait!” he interjected, panic settling in that you would disappear and he would never get the chance again. “i— i just wanted to tell you tha—”

“y/n baby, i’ve got the washing powder.”

baby? what the fuck?

he looked just past you to see a guy walking up to you, taking the basket from your hands with a peck to your cheek. you smiled at the action, lacing your hand in his hair as he took place behind you. he then noticed rin, standing there with visible shock on his face, confused on what he missed while he was gone.

“who’s this?”

“oh, just an old friend.” a bold faced lie. anyone with two functioning brain cells could feel the history between you two. “i’ve got my stuff so let’s go to the queue. nice seeing you rin…have a good day.” you walked off with your supposed new boyfriend. a boyfriend that wasn’t him.

have a good day? after you just shattered his heart like that?

his throat turned dry, awareness sinking in.

he wanted you to come home…but he was too late.

baby you sold me a dream pt.3

971 notes · View notes

tojisbbg · 1 year

Text

𝙤𝙝, 𝙞 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙣

❝oh.. cara mia, how i love him.❞

♡ rin itoshi ♡

a/n: first time writing for blue lock!! ugh, guys, the brainrot is very severe. they’re all my babygirls fr.

content: rin itoshi x reader, sprinkle of sae in it (if you squint), fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, childhood friend to strangers to lovers, rin’s a little mean, unresolved feelings cause sudden confession, small little tweaks of events, not edited.

---

“rinnie!” your six-year-old self screamed loud and proud for your best friend in the entire world as you ran inside the itoshi household. your parents were left behind at the door, chuckling with the itoshi’s parents because of your excitement.

you tightly gripped the coloring set to your chest, climbing the stairs as fast as you could upstairs to rin’s play room that he shared with his brother sae. you opened the door, seeing the familiar ravenette sitting on the child size chair, focused on drawing.

“rin! you were supposed to wait for me.” you whined, your smile now becoming a small frown as you sat in front of him on the empty chair. rin looked up at you, finally acknowledging your presence.

“ah! y/nie, you’re here so soon.” he gave you a bright smile, his eyes shimmering at your company. suddenly, you even forgot that you were mad at him in the first place, his smile being so contagious as you returned one yourself.

“look! papa got them from his business trip last week and it has crayons, markers, paints and so much more!” you showed him the coloring kit, making him awe from amazement from the variety.

“so cool! hey, can we share?” rin asked and you eagerly nodded your head, laying out your coloring supplies on the table freely.

“who are you drawing for the project?” you asked, beginning your masterpiece, which would consist of cutely drawn stick figures.

“i’m gonna draw big bro, i wanna be just like him in the future. he’s just so cool, he’ll become the best striker in the world and i’ll be the second best.” rin spoke with such passion in his tone, his eyes holding a loving adoration at the thought of his brother.

“nice, i wanna become like my mama. i want to make food as delicious as hers so that i could feed the people that i love.” you chirped, dipping your paint brush in a little bit of water before swirling it inside the watercolor paint palette.

“even me?” rin asked, making you look at him with a slight dust of pink shading your cheeks.

“of course, rinnie. you’re my best friend and i’ll always love you. i think you’re more awesome than sae.” you whispered the last part, making him giggle as he shook his head.

“hm? talking about me?” you suddenly hear a voice behind you, your eyes being covered as you yelp in surprise.

“sae!” you finally peeled his hands away from your eyes, eyes meeting another pair of emerald ones. sae chuckled before ruffling your hair.

“hey! you’re messing up my pigtails.” you huffed, trying to fix your hair that slightly ruined, straightening the bows that were a little crooked.

“sorry, sorry, cutie.” sae raised his hands in defense, making you hum as a response of accepting his apology. he sat on the ground, eyes watching what you and his brother was doing.

“look, big bro! this is you and me when we win the world cup together.” rin eagerly showed his finished drawing, earning a proud grin from his brother as sae ruffled rin’s hair.

“we’ll be the best of the best, together.” sae said, warmth spreading inside rin’s heart from satisfaction.

“yup!” rin nodded.

“hey, what about me? i don’t know how to play soccer.” you pout, feeling left out from the itoshi’s conversation.

“i offered to teach you but you didn’t wanna.” sae replied, pinching your cheeks teasingly as you winced.

“yeah ‘cause soccer is for boys not for girls.” you fake gagged, making sae roll his eyes from your overdramatic reaction.

“you can cheer us on, you’ll be in the front seats watching us.” rin suggested, making you think hard on if that’s the job you wanted to play in the itoshi brothers dream.

“okay! i’ll be your good luck charm.” you gave them a thumbs up, making them both agree.

“my, my! aren’t you three just so cute. let’s take a picture!” rin’s mom cooed, pulling out her phone as she ushered both brothers to stand by your side. you dropped your paint brush, holding your colorful hands up with a bright smile that made your eyes disappear.

you felt rin and sae bent down, placing a kiss on either of your cheeks as a pose.

“1...2...3... awwww!” your parents were in the middle of having a stroke from cuteness overload. on the other hand, you were combusting with happiness from how lucky you were to have two of the greatest friends ever.

---

change is something inevitable.

seasons change and so do other forms of life such as plants, animals and humans. it’s just the cycle of life that we must go through.

the world was still too big for your liking at the age of sixteen, afraid to dip your toes in waters that seemed too cold and foreign.

you were afraid to change.

and perhaps that was one of the reasons why you let the two most important people in your life slip out of your grasp. sae became a hotshot in a small period of time, hitting the news which spread like wildfire. of course, this alone made your and rin’s hearts soar from happiness.

but that was two years ago.

things were different now, so different that you don’t even recognize the itoshi brothers anymore. sae was absolutely no longer in the picture, frequently traveling to places like spain and his visits back in japan lasted no more than a couple of days.

and your best friend, rin, has become nothing but a total stranger. he still lived within close premises, yet his aura felt like someone splashed you with cold water. that warmth that once resided within him was gone.

you quickly barged into rin’s room, your face now becoming pale with horror as you saw him go berserk. his eyes were dark, smashing every single trophy, medal and picture frame him and sae owned.

“i hate him! i hate, hate, hate, itoshi sae!” rin bellowed, not even caring about your existence that was terrified by the door. your shaky hands went behind you, closing the door as you slowly tip-toed your way to him.

“rin?” you meekly called out his name, trying to catch his attention as he was heaving from frustration. he looked at you with a sharp glare, making your throat go dry.

“what.” he spat out with so much venom, making you mentally wince.

“sit down and talk to me.” you grabbed his arms, pushing him back until he sat on the bed and you stood in front of him. your hands were on his shoulders, grounding him on the mattress to make sure that he wouldn’t get up to do anything else.

“there’s nothing to talk about. itoshi sae ruined my life by teaching me soccer, and i will get my revenge on him.” rin spoke with so much hate in his voice it made your stomach churn.

“that’s crazy talk, you both are supposed to become the best together, remember?” you frowned, cupping his cheeks as you tried to somehow make this hateful glint of his disappear.

until he swatted away your hands.

“we’re not kids anymore, y/n. it’s time that you grow the fuck up and realize that this stupid dream the three of us dreamt of was never going to become reality. even seeing you makes me angry now.” rin harshly spat out, making your mouth agape from shock, looking at him with glossy eyes.

“rin, the hell is that supposed to mean?” your voice croaked, your heart feeling like it was on the verge of cracking into two.

“i hate you too, y/n.”

those were the last words that were ever exchanged between you and rin, the last time you both were even near each other. every time the both of your parents would try to organize an event together, you would make some lame excuse to not join them.

but, today it seemed that no matter how significant or desperate you tried to make your excuse look like, your parents didn’t buy it.

“what happened between you guys? you all used to be such good buddies.” your dad asked out of the blue, looking at you through the mirror as he drove. you shrugged, playing with the hem of your dress.

“we just grew up, i guess. besides, the both of them are pretty busy people so i don’t wanna butt in.” you quickly dismissed, not wanting to talk about this whole sibling rivalry they both had going on which eventually wrapped you into it as well.

“yeah, it’s a shame. but, the itoshi brothers are doing very good. sae has gotten into nationals and rin got into some bootcamp place called blue lock. we’re going over for dinner because the brothers are gonna be off on their own path tomorrow.” your mom informed you, making your eyes go wide like the size of two full moons.

it was bad enough that you’d be seeing both sae and rin after two years, but the fact that now even more distance was being created left you unsettled. there was no more hope in restoring whatever friendship you guys had.

you didn’t care much about sae, but rin? he was your best friend, your person, the only person who could actually turn your frown upside down.

what probably hurt the most was the stupid crush you had on him that never died down. you know him like the back of your hand, and you know that the itoshi rin right now is not the sweet rin you befriended and fell in love with as a child. yet, a piece of your heart knew that somewhere in those ferocious green flames of his, your rinnie was still there.

the dinner party was like usual, a bunch of rich people all in one place. you felt stuffy and suffocated, deciding to go up to the balcony to get some fresh air. you noticed a tall figure leaning on the rails, peering down.

“shouldn’t you be hosting your own party?” you snickered, standing beside him as your voice rang a bell in his ears. rin straightened his posture, easily towering over you as your mind couldn’t process how tall he has gotten within the span of two years. his body was more fit and muscular, yet his face was stoic and bored like the last ever time you had seen him.

“tell that to mr. famous, he’s the hot topic of the table.” rin grumbled, stealing quick glances at you with a side eye that you failed to notice. he couldn’t help but notice how you’ve gotten even prettier within the years, his heart fluttering upon the sight of you.

you grew up so well, yet you still reminded him of the old y/n he knew.

“hm, well, congrats on getting in blue lock.” you awkwardly said, rubbing your bare arms as you avoided eye contact with him.

“thanks.” he dryly responded and silence fell between you both.

“so, you’re gonna go away for a long time?” you asked, trying to stir up a conversation with your best friend whom your heart ached and yearned for.

“don’t know.” rin simply shrugged, his resistance making your blood boil. he was acting like it was your first day meeting him and that every single memory between you both never existed.

“alright, i’m fucking done.” you said through gritted teeth, making rin look at you with a cocked eyebrow. suddenly, you grabbed him by the collar, pulling him down to make at eye-level with you.

“the fuck is your problem, huh? i don’t know what went on between you and sae, but that shit does not involve me. i don’t give two flying fucks about soccer, i just want my best friend back. so stop being such an asshole!” you screamed in his face, your eyes pooling with tears that began to sting. rin looked into your eyes, his lips thining into a line before his larger hands peeled your fingers away.

“are you fucking deaf or dumb, huh? that weak and pathetic version of rin itoshi you so dearly hold in your heart is dead. my dream is no one’s but only mine. only i will become the best of the best in the world, the best striker. i will defeat itoshi sae and make him eat his damn words.” his hands balled into fists, making you crouch down as you held your face in your hands, sobbing.

“then why.. why am i looped into this shit?! did you mean what you said to me last time?” you asked, praying to whatever god up there that you overthought everything those past two years.

“of course i did, y/n. you mean nothing to me, right now, the only thing important to me is soccer. hell, i’ll even put my life on the line for it. anything and anyone who gets in my way is nothing but a fucking pain the ass.” rin glared down at you, each of his words feeling like a few hundreds of knives stabbing your heart.

“you fucking jerk. i hate you, itoshi rin! i hate you, i hate you, i hate you! go to fucking hell.” you yelled, getting up with tears in your eyes as you ran inside the house. you tried to navigate yourself to the bathroom to fix your face which was probably streaked with black remains of your mascara.

you bumped into a hard chest, making you groan in pain as you mumbled a quick ‘sorry’.

“y/n?” the familiarity of the voice sent chills down your spine, looking up to see none other than sae. his hairstyle changed completely, his eyes dull as he looked at you with an undecipherable look.

but for some odd reason, his presence made you furious. a part of you couldn’t help but blame sae for the reason why everything went down the drain for the three of you. you roughly shoved him off, catching him off guard.

“do me a favor and go back to spain so that i don’t ever have to see your face again, itoshi sae.” you said in a monotone, not even wanting to look him in the face as you walked away.

a beautiful friendship that you once molded with both brothers turned nothing but into puddles of sorrow and agony.

---

“come on, y/n! it’ll be fun, i promise.” your friend whined, trying to convince you to attend soccer match between u-20 and blue lock today.

“eh, i don’t know. i’m not really a soccer person.” you nervously laughed, trying to shoo her away. but, your friend was persistent.

“come on, pretty please? didn’t you say someone you know goes to blue lock?” your friend narrowed her eyes, making you look at the side as you tried to come up with a lie.

“well, uhm, yeah? but like, i don’t know if he’s still playing in it.” you scratched the back of your neck, trying your best to decline her offer as politely as possible.

you knew that these tickets were hot and porbably costed a lot of money, yet her friend who is playing in the match gave her two.

“well then, i guess you’ll find out!” she said and you sighed in defeat.

“fine.” you mumbled, taking the ticket from her hand.

you both were now outside of the stadium, the lines were making you feel all sweaty and suffocated. you texted your friend, getting annoyed that she was running late and you felt a little stupid standing in the middle of all of these die-hard soccer fans.

“ah, sorry! i’m here.” you friend waved to you at the distance, running over as you rolled your eyes.

“i was gonna go home if you didn’t show up within the next minute.” you gave a small empty threat, making her chuckle.

“hey, no worries. getting inside won’t take too long, let’s get jersey’s!” she sang out, dragging you the stand where they were selling the shirts.

“i’ll get number eleven for blue lock please.” you friend said, pulling her wallet to pull out the money. you read the name on the shirt: isagi yoichi. it was most likely the friend that gave her these tickets.

“what about you, y/n?” she looked at you and your eyes scanned the shirts for both u-20 and blue lock but the summer’s heat was making you feel dizzy. so you just went with some random number that popped inside your head.

“uh, i don’t know, number ten?” you asked more than said. the man gave you a judgemental look which made you a little embarrassed.

“for which team? u-20′s number ten is itoshi sae and blue lock’s number ten is itoshi rin.” the man informed you, making your heart drop as those two names rang loud and clear in your ears.

no way that this could’ve all just been pure coincidence. you were broken out of your thought as the line grew, deciding that no one would even see you anyways from the distance. so, you’d cheer him on behind the scenes.

“blue lock’s number ten, please.” you said with a small smile.

after purchasing the jersey, you and your friend went to the bathroom to change into it. after you both were done, she guided you through different doors in which security people guarded it.

“vip tickets.” you friend eagerly showed them both your and her ticket to the man before they gave her a brief nod. they opened the red rope barrier and allowed you two to enter.

“hey, this is so close to the field.” you said in awe, looking at the huge green field before you.

“of course, dummy. we have first row seats.” she gave you a wide smile, making your heart thump. you both took your seat, waiting for the match to start. the announcer people did their little speeches, making you bored. until, the doors opened and the players began to walk in.

you watched how u-20 walked in, the familiar red head leading the team. your gaze fell on his jersey, it was number ten, itoshi sae. the door on the opposite side opened and the blue lock players walked in and it felt like time had stopped when your eyes fell on the person’s jersey whom you were wearing.

itoshi rin.

you noticed how rin’s eyes held a different glint in them, it was filled with determination and the will to devour. he was finally going to play against his brother whom he once dreamt of playing together with side by side. the more you remember that old childish dream that you three dreamt of, the more your heart ached.

you could only wish that it could go back to that.

the match has been going for what felt like an eternity, but you couldn’t help but have your palms get sweaty. it was intense, both teams filled with bery talented and skilled players. this was your first time watching rin and sae play soccer, as you’d always skip out on their practices in the past because it was boring to you.

but now after witnessing it live, you were nothing but dumbstruck from amazement. their speed, intellect, strength, stamina and overall talent was unremarkable. you would be liar if you denied the fact that you were proud of both of them.

yet, your heart was rooting for blue lock to take home the victory. unfortunately, things weren’t going towards your liking as u-20 was in the lead. one more goal in for u-20 sent the whole crowd roaring and cheering for none other than itoshi sae.

however, your eyes not even once fell on him. you were more focused on rin, his every move was sharp and hypnotizing. you watched him pant from exhaustion, until a different aura replaced him.

you looked at him and your heart dropped to your stomach, recognizing that look from before. it was a look as if a demonic entity has taken over him, his eyes darkening as his tongue slipped out in focus.

fuck.

you watched him go berserk, zooming past all the players and strategically knocking down everyone’s skills with his own. that was until he was now head on head against sae now.

you noticed how his movements waivered for a little, but he shrugged it off and continue to get in his shooting range without being interrupted by sae. the crowd grew quiet as they began to whisper and murmur about the sibling rivalry.

you heard them badmouthing rin, taking sae’s side just because rin wasn’t as well known like sae. you couldn’t take it anymore, leaning over.

“you could do it, itoshi rin! make that fucking goal, rinnie!!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, your voice catching both brother’s attention. rin looked at you with shock, sharing the same look with sae. you gave rin a hopeful smile, giving him a thumbs up.

“i believe in you, rin! you can make that goal!” and with that being said, it was as if his mind was being possessed by your voice, your words guiding him as his body acted on its own.

rin surpressed sae, who didn’t even notice because he was startled by your sudden appearence amongst the crowd. and in a matter of seconds, rin’s leg swung and like fire the ball hit the net.

“fuck yeah!!” you jumped from your seat as the announcers flooded everyones ears with compliments towards rin.

blue lock won.

---

“holy shit, that game was insane!” your friend babbled, making you chuckle as you nodded your head in agreement.

“yeah, it was.” you smiled, the events of rin’s amazing goal and overall play rewinding in your mind.

“hey, i’m gonna go catch up with my friend. i’ll text you when i get home.” you friend quickly excused herself and you nodded your head, wanting to leave as soon as possible to avoid bumping into either brothers.

you were finally able to leave the stadium, now outside as you saw the sun was slowly setting. you leaned against the fence, taking in the breathtaking sight.

“running away from me so soon?” a voice spoke out, sending chills down your spine. you turned your head only to see the 6′1 striker walking towards you while drinking water. he was out of his uniform, now wearing nothing but sweats and a t-shirt.

“rin..” you said under your breath, your voice already half gone from your screaming. you haven’t seen rin face to face for a while now, especially after that night. he made your heart tremble, your knees weak and you always grew nervous.

“never expected you to show up to one of my games.” rin blurted out, making you scoff.

“why? ‘cause you think i don’t know anything about soccer since you’re a hotshot player and i’m not?” you taunted, making his lips curl a little upwards into a small smirk.

“you’re the one who said soccer was boring.” he argued, making you tsk.

“well, it’s not as boring when watching you play it.” you mumbled under your breath, but your words were as clear as day to rin and it made his heart swell with pride.

“is that so?” rin asked, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. his skin softly grazed your face, making your cheeks grow warm. your eyes remained on the ground, not being able to meet his intense eye contact.

rin let out a sigh, grabbing your chin before forcing you to look up to him. he looked down at your flustered face, looking over every feature that he has memorized in his mind. you were still the same, the only difference is you’ve matured as you’ve grown.

your adorable doey eyes that would look at him like he’s the most interesting person ever to exist, your cute button nose that would scrunch up in excitement, soft and chubby cheeks that would blush whenever he kissed them and plump lips that would say the sweetest things to him.

you’ve never left itoshi rin’s mind.

“why did you come today?” he asked, looking into your eyes like he’s trying his best to search for the truth.

“my friend had extra tickets.” you admitted, watching his eyes droop a little and lose their shine.

“oh.” his voice sounded disappointed.

“the man in the jersey stall asked me if i wanted u-20′s number 10 or blue lock’s number 10. i chose you, rin.” you said before cupping his face, getting tired of knocking on this hard wall rin has built around his heart.

rin could feel his heart hammering against his chest, the unfamiliar feeling of this weird fuzz made him confused. you were rooting for him from the beginning?

“but why? sae is still a better player than me, i got that goal in by luck because he was distracted.” rin frowned, dropping your hands from his face as you heavily sighed.

“even if everyone in that entire crowd cheered for sae, i would still be your number one supporter and wear your number and scream for you loud and proud. whether you won or lost, you’ll always be the one that i would root for, rinnie.” you gave him a ceshire smile, that beautiful shimmer in your eyes returning just like how you’d have it when talking to him as a child.

suddenly, you grabbed his neck before pulling him into your chest, hugging him tightly. you didn’t want to fight against your feelings anymore, you no longer cared.

“i’ll always choose you, rin. i love you, i love you so, so, so damn much that it hurts. all these years of being away from you made me become nothing but miserable. come back to me, rinnie, please.” you begged, tears streaming down your face as you sniffled.

and it took only those few words to have that wall itoshi rin built around his heart to come crumbling down. he tightly wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“i missed you so much, y/n. i’m so sorry. i-i don’t even know what to say.” he stammered, as you felt him sniffling against your chest. your hand came down to his cheeks, wiping away his tears as you shook your head.

“it’s okay, i know it was hard on you. you suffered a lot on your own.” you kissed his forehead lovingly, feeling him tighten his embrace.

“but still, i was such an asshole to you because i was so consumed by my hatred. i’m so sorry for hurting you, y/n. i felt so guilty, i couldn’t even face you because i knew my feelings would conflict with me.” rin admitted, making your heart skip a beat.

“i love you too, y/n. i always have and i always will.” he said, leaning away from your chest to meet your gaze as his eyes softened. you giggled in content, your hand going behind his neck to pull him into a kiss.

it wasn’t anything too much, a soft yet savoring kiss that you both shared. rin could taste the sweet fruity gloss you used on your lips, humming at it’s sweetness. you smiled against his lips before pecking them multiple times. you cupped his cheeks, squishing them as a pout forcibly formed on his lips.

“ahhh, you’re so cute, rinnie! i just wanna eat you up!” you squealed, continuing to pepper his face and pouty lips with smooches. rin’s face noticibly grew warm and red, but he liked getting this kind of attention from you.

you both spent the next few minutes just hugging and pecking each other, enjoying each other’s close company that you both ached for all those years.

“we got the whole week off, so uh, do you wanna go on a date?” rin asked, averting his eyes from you. a teasing grin danced on your lips as you decided to play with him a little.

“hmm, i don’t know. let me think.” you pretended to think hard, making him scoff.

“y/n!” rin whined, playfully smacking your thigh as you chuckled.

“just kidding! of course i’ll go on a date with you, rin. but, only if you first ask me to be your girlfriend.” you asked with a cheeky smile, making him pinch your nose.

“now you’re asking for too much.” rin teased, making you scoff.

“hey, i was your lucky charm that helped you make that goal. the least you can do is ask me to be your girlfriend.” you roll your eyes, sending him a small glare.

“now why would i give you any credit for that goal.” rin tilted his head, making you huff.

“jerk, fine, then go on that date by yourself.” you said in a petty tone, squirming out of his release before walking off. rin chuckled to himself, knowing that you were right. your voice was the only thing that put him in that trance to make that goal, so yes, you were his lucky charm.

rin lightly jogged behind your before engulfing your figure into a back hug. he snuggled his face in the crook of your neck before kissing your temple.

“be my girlfriend and go on that date with me.” he said, pressing a tender kiss on your cheeks. a girly smile was now plastered on your face and you hummed.

“if you insist, okay then!” you exclaimed, your stomach filled with butterflies.

“good, i can’t win my games without my lucky charm.” rin breathed out in content, wrapping an arm around your waist as he held you close while you both walked.

from a distance, the other itoshi watched, tightly clutching onto his duffle bag. an overwhelming amount of sadness washing over him as he watched his once beloved brother and childhood friend walk away together.

sae let out a heavy sigh, walking in the opposite direction as a bitter smile was on his lips. in a way, the dream you three have dreamt came true today.

the itoshi brothers played together in an intense soccer match while you were in the front rows cheering. only difference was the molten sea of hate and complicated feelings that made things more different.

you only cheered for rin, completely ignoring sae’s existence and perhaps that why this feeling of tightness in his chest prevented him from even caring about what rin had in plan next during the match.

although you and rin found each other once again in the same world, itoshi sae realized that he was way far gone from you both.

he could no longer dream the same dream as you and rin.

itoshi sae has lost his brother and his childhood best friend and he knew that he couldn’t blame anyone else but himself.

934 notes · View notes

seroh · 3 months

Text

something old

suna, f.reader. angst.

in which suna is a cold-hearted cheater.

words: 1.4

notes: i figured it was time to see suna's point of view. spoilers alert: you will hate him even more.

something old | something borrowed | something blue

TAGLIST: @captainchrisstan @iknowhistouch3

Suna Rintaro was a simple man. What he wanted, he took. What he desired, he got. He didn’t deny himself the pleasures of life, didn’t pay any mind to the small obstacles in his way. He didn’t care if his wants and needs got in the way of someone else, didn’t care if anyone's heart broke. He'd lie and hide and pretend only to avoid being inconvenienced; and if you started doubting him, with a sweet smile he'd claim to be protecting you and your emotional little heart.

You got hurt by the littlest, most insignificant things and he just knew you'd react this way. You always blew things out of proportion, so of course he would be wary of telling you some things. You were so insecure and jealous over stupid things–he couldn't even say "hi" to his best friend without you overanalyzing the very look in his eyes. How could you expect him to trust someone like that?

He loved you. Could you blame him for trying to keep things nice and happy between you two?

He loved you, and he was tired of the nagging and fighting.

He said he loved you, and you fell for it every single time the same way you fell for it the very first time.

The words had slipped past his lips almost accidentally, that first night in October where he said he loved you. You had been ready to walk out of his life, questions of “what are we?” and “do you even care?” slicing the quiet evening he had hoped for. Suna hadn’t been ready to give you up just yet. It felt good, having you by his side, better than any woman’s company ever had, and he would’ve had to be a fool to let you walk out the door without doing anything to stop you.

His promises and feelings might have been real then, but with time he had come to resent you for the love you gave him and the love you expected back. With time, the rush and intensity of your love had become part of the monotonous backdrop for his newer adventures.

Excitement, that’s all Suna cared for, and you had long ceased to become a source of it.

Still, there was something comforting in knowing that no matter what he said or did, you would always go back to him. Although “back” wasn’t the right word, he thought. For you to “go back” you would need to leave him first and Suna knew you never would. After all, it was you who bent over backwards trying to apologize whenever he messed up.

All it took to regain your trust were a few sweet gestures. Some flowers after an argument, chocolates when he said something harsh. Romantic dates and getaways when you started getting suspicious, maybe even a several-karat ring…

You had been so happy when he gave it to you, showing it off to anyone who wanted to hear about his oh so romantic proposal. Even on your wedding day, you couldn’t stop bragging about it. Earlier that day you had posted an image of your hands intertwined, your ring right in the spotlight, and the caption read “Today we finally make the promise a reality. I love you, Rin”

Haru laughed as she read it, making a show out of clutching her stomach and wiping non-existent tears out of the corners of her eyes. Your post was displayed on the screen, the little heart under it a bright red.

“Look at what she wrote. I can’t believe she’s so stupid.”

Suna chuckled but didn’t reply, too busy fighting with his tie to do so. Haru, her little act forgotten at the lack of attention, approached him from behind. Her eyes scanned his body. Her hands found their way to his back, his shoulder, his chest. Slow, intimate, her touch reached every part of his body and soul, reached in to bring his desires to the surface.

“Truly, Rin, I don’t know why you still bother with her,” she whispered against his back as her hands pulled his jacket off his shoulders. “You do nothing but complain about her.” Tenderly, she started pressing kisses on his back. “Why’d you have to propose to that… that bitch. Why do you even want her around?” The venom on her tongue was a stark contrast to her loving touch.

Haru slipped her hands inside his trousers as she spoke. An amused smile formed on her lips upon meeting his hard cock. Teasing words bubbled in her throat, yet she never uttered them. The bitter taste of where they were, and why they were there, was too much for her to put on a playful mask.

“Is this… Am I not enough?”

The room was quiet for a moment. Her voice had been so soft, so meek, she thought he might not have heard her. The fear of repeating herself was so strong she did not dare to do so. But her heartbeat, frenetic, must’ve surely given away the way she felt.

Suna turned around, eyes fiery with desire. His lips met hers with a burning passion, and Haru forgot about every doubt she had. He pulled her closer with strong hands, closer than she thought possible, and the little speech she had practiced to convince him to leave you was completely erased from her mind. Long-forgotten, along with the memory of every night she tried to get him to break up with you, every night he managed to turn the conversation around.

The thing was, Suna might not love you, but he didn’t love her either. Regardless of what he might say to her, Haru was still nothing more than another warm body in his bed. No matter how much she wanted to convince herself that she was better than you, more important to him than you, when all was said and done she was nothing to him. An object of his desire, something he wanted.

Like you, Haru mourned the love she would never get.

Like you, she built an armor around her heart out of Suna’s pretty lies.

Unlike you, she would never get the benefit of being shown off with pride.

All she had were furtive dates where nobody could see, stolen kisses in the dark, love confessions meant to be deleted. Meanwhile you, who couldn’t keep him away from her, who was naive enough to think of her as your friend… you got a big white wedding, hand-written vows, a ring to mark him as forever yours in everyone’s eyes.

Nevertheless, Haru liked to think he was hers and would always be, no matter how many big milestones your relationship hit. It was your wedding day, and your husband-to-be had his dick deep inside her. Suna was fucking her senseless, suit still on and trousers around his ankles, as you put on the beautiful dress your mother had gifted you. You were probably gushing about how wonderful and perfect he was, and all the while he was kissing her like a starved man.

You would never measure up to her. He would always go back into her arms.

A knock on the door came and someone called for the groom to make his way to the altar. It was time for the wedding. Suna yelled a strained “coming” and fucked her harder still, desperate to reach his release. Haru dug her nails on his back and whispered in his ear the dirtiest things she could muster, anything to push him closer. She knew every dirty trick to arouse him past delirium, and proved herself right when he moaned in her ear as his orgasm hit. Her own orgasm was pushed aside right that second.

“Thanks sweetheart, it was good.” Suna mumbled as he kissed her on her cheek, and just like that he left her all alone. He didn’t stay to hear the reply that would never come, didn’t even bother to help her wipe the cum off her thighs and cunt.

Later, he would kiss her hard in the men’s bathroom while you danced with your friends. He would mutter a half-assed apology before making her kneel on the dirty floor. Haru would have to fix her makeup after he came all over her face, while he left to play the role of the doting husband.

And you, none the wiser, would go on to believe he was the best boyfriend—the best husband—you could wish for.

SEROH 2024

#suna angst #suna rintaro angst #haikyuu angst #suna x reader #suna rintaro x reader #haikyuu x reader

188 notes · View notes

satrs · 9 months

Note

blue lock boys you think would be exes who do everything to try to get you back? to add on they’re your baby daddy so they have a reason to see you and speak to you.

ᥲ/ᥒ ꜝꜝ ✎ hiiii nonnie! thx for the request! I got some boys in mind, and the first one that I could picture was Shidou LMAOOO

also, I didn't specify the child's gender, so you can fill it in for yourself^^

Still Your Best

FEATURING; ITOSHI RIN. BACHIRA MEGURU. SHIDOU RYUSEI. RAICHI JINGO. MIKAGE REO. NESS ALEXIS.

TAGS; suggestive content. MDNI!. mention of sex. mention of kids. angst. hurt to comfort. some crazy/toxic guys. nicknames(baby, princess).

WORDCOUNT;

ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+!

ITOSHI RIN.

He would never directly admit that he wants you back but find excuses, your child for example.

It was true that he visited your place to see his child more, spend time with them, and be as good of a father as he could be. But, he wouldn't miss taking this as an opportunity to get near you. Even if that meant doing it the harsh way.

"Rin? You already had your time with-" "I'm their father, Y/N. You can't stop me from interacting with them." "Rin, look. I'm tired of you just showing up at my doorstep unannounced and-" You sighed, too tired and not in the mood to fight with him or alarm the neighbors to feed them any gossip, so you step aside, motioning him to enter your home.

He stood in the living room awkwardly, scanning the apartment for his little one - no where in sight. " already in bed." You cleared up his confusion, throwing yourself on the couch with an exhausted sigh, "That desperate to see them? Go wake them up. But you'll take care of them then."

He didn't respond, causing you to look up at him in suspicion as he sat beside you on the couch, an unreadable expression on his face as he breathed out, searching for the right words. "If it's about that same topic, then drop it." He sighed at your reaction, a pleading look on his face. "Just hear me out for a second." You stay silent, waiting for him to continue, averting your gaze to anywhere but him. "I've been telling you this for some time now and I think it's time for you to consider it."

You eyed him before averting your gaze around the room, trying to avoid eye contact. You know what he meant. He was laying in your ears with that stuff since both of you separated. "We should try it again. For the little one." Yes, for them. But also for you. He can't deal with this 'still friends for the child' - bullshit. He wants you back in his arms with his child- be the happy family you once were.

"For the child," you reminded, repeating his words as you looked at him, a promising look on your face. His heartfelt smile startled you for a second, reminded of your happy years with him floading your mind and maybe another try wouldn't hurt.

"Yes, for the child. And for us."

BACHIRA MEGURU.

"Why don't you go play for a bit, hm? Me and Mommy have to talk." You turned at the man at that, unsure of what he meant, a raised eyebrow accompanying your confusion.

Once your child disappeared into their room, you eyed him in suspicion, waiting for him to clear the fog. "So, you got a boyfriend now, hm?" Your heart sank in realization, you child must have likely babbled it away to him. "And what about it?"

He chuckled at that, shaking his head in a scolding manner. "Y/N, a new man in our child’s life would be confusing. I think it's really selfish of you to-" "No, I don't think so. But you know what I think? I think you're just jealous that I moved on." You intervined, ready to walk off until his words rang your ear. "Yes, I am. You can't just 'move on'. That's not how it works, baby."

You flashed him a look of disbelief. "Yes, I can, as you can see." You walked off the scene, only to hear footsteps right behind you. "You sure as hell didn't. He's just a playdate to you. He could never replace me, and you know that damn well."

You stood still, tint of guilt filling your stomach because he was right - you've never and will never find anyone that could replace the hole Bachira left in your heart, your lips formed into a thin line as you turned around to get a good look at him.

A smile crept its way up to his lips at that, his feet moving on their own as he stood before you, taking your head in his hands. "But I'm here, you know. We can try again."

You looked up at him, eyes sparking with hope. "Are you serious?"

"I'm always serious about you, baby." He caressed your cheek with adoration, his eyes showing nothing but love for you.

SHIDOU RYUSEI.

"Where's (child's name)?" You questioned, impatiently tapping your feet to the ground, arms crossed in front of Shidou's doorstep. He returned a smug grin at that, leaning against the doorframe, shamelessly looking you up and down. "Went out clubbing baby? You look gorgeous, as always."

You roll your eyes at his statement, waiting for him to answer you - to no avail. Finally, your patience snapped, face adored by an irritated expression. "Can I come in?" You motioned at the door in a sarcastic manner.

"But of course, princess." He stepped aside, grin only growing bigger as he animated you to come in, quick to steal a quick peak at your behind. “So, did you had fun?” He tried to stirr up a conversation to keep you with him for a bit longer.

You ignored him, walking around the house in search of your child. “Where-“

“Asleep.” He answered quickly, smirk on his face never wavering. “You knew that I’d come to pick them up.”

He chuckled at that, nonchalantly walking into the kitchen to get you your favorite drink (he remembered every detail of you, even so small) “C’mon, make yourself at home.”

You scoffed at his sarcastic voice. ‘Make yourself at home’. What a bummer. This was your home some time ago.

“What do you want?” You asked as he sat beside you, waving the drink he offered off. “Why don’t you relax a bit? It’s not like we’re strangers.” He shrugged your decline off, drowning his own drink down. “Also,” his face twisted at the aftermath of his quick gulp down, “it’s to late for you to drive home with my child at this hour anyways, can’t allow that.”

You understood what he was getting at, taking the drink in hand as you prepared yourself for the night. He took note of that, triumphant grin on his face as he poured himself more of it, bumping his glass against yours. Tonight will be the night you’ll get back to him, he was sure of it.

“Now that’s the spirit, baby. Cheers. To us.”

RAICHI JINGO.

He is desperate for you but has no better idea of winning you back than seducing you into bed with him, covering his intentions up with 'I'm the only one who makes you feel good or 'Just some stress relieve, nothing else'. But little did he know that those actions would bite him in the ass one day.

"Stop this? But why?", he sat up straight from his side of the bed, eyeing you as you put on your clothes. "Don't you feel good? Because I know that I do. It's just like back then."

You sighed at that, throwing on your shirt as you looked at him. "That's the problem. You don't see this as just some pastime, do you?" He didn't say anything, lips forming a thin line. "That's what I thought."

He sprung to his feet and jumped into his boxers and shirt swiftly once you made your way out of the door. "Wait, can we at least talk about it?" You waved him off, stepping into your shoes at the doorstep, ready to throw on your jacket and leave. "I gotta pick our child up now. Got no time for chit-chat-"

He snatched your keys from your hand, ignoring your bickering as he stepped into his shoes himself, opening the door to head over to your car. "Raichi you're in fucking boxers! Are you out of your damn mind?"

Your curses fell on deaf ears as he sat in the driver's seat, waiting for you to enter the car. "Now we can talk and pick them up. Two birds with one stone."

You mumbled curses under your breath but seated yourself either way because, if you were being honest, you were kind of curious about what he had to say.

"What the hell do you want to talk about?" You spat, earning a chuckle from the man as he drove off on the street. "I want us again, Y/N," he said after stopping at a red light. "Raichi, but you got me. Not how you wish to be but still-" You silenced yourself once his hand comfortably rested on your thigh, innocent gaze on the road ahead.

You sighed, lingering in the comfortable silence. You knew how he was never really good with words, even back when the both of you were still together. So you let the silence speak for itself, dwelling in his touch.

Maybe you should hear him out for real this time, he got out in boxers for you after all, that's a story to tell.

MIKAGE REO.

He tried anything in his power - beg, shower you and your child with gifts- expensive ones at that- trips, and anything else you could think about. And even tho you waved him off every single time, he didn't lose hope and kept on trying. You were his treasure after all.

"Look, baby! I got you some toys." Your child reached out their hands for their father, a beaming smile on their face. "Enough, Reo." Your voice interrupted the joyful moment, bringing him back to reality.

"What's all this for?" You motioned around the room, various expensive gifts for you and the little child. "Do you think I'll just jump back into your arms if you buy me stuff?" His silence was answer enough for you as you let out a scoff, turning to gather all of his gifts into a bag, and shoving it into his hand right after. "Go fuck yourself and your gifts."

He ignored your venomous words, dropping the bag to the ground as his hand swiftly grabed you by the back of your neck, smashing his lips against yours with passion.

You were taken aback, gasping into his mouth as you returned the gesture momentarily before tearing yourself away from his grasp, ready to let the curses fall.

"Mommy and Daddy are back together!" Your childe cheered on, clapping their hands together with joy. Your head snapped into your offspring's direction, about to clear the confusion, but Reo beat you to it.

"Yup!," He threw his arm over your shoulder, pulling you closer with a bright smile on his face. "Daddy will stay the night today, what do you say?" He threw the question into the room, eyeing you.

You desperatly wanted to decline, but the way your child's eyes sparkled in pure excitement and joy caused you to give into the offer, agreeing in defeat.

The little childe jumped up in joy while Reo began to pepper your face with kisses. Your expression was bitter but deep down, you enjoyed his touch and affection.

Just for tonight, you said to yourself, then it'll be back to how we were yesterday.

Yesterday? Oh no, it'll be back to how you used to be.

NESS ALEXIS.

He couldn't take it anymore. You and your child- the only people he adored and loved so much away from him. It's been months since you put an end to your relationship and he is suffering from the consequences.

"Y/N, please." You ignored him, taking your small child from his arms, flashing your little bundle of sunshine a bright smile. "C'mon let's go home, yeah? Mommy already-"

"Y/N." He took your unoccupied arm in his hold, a sigh of relief filling him once you finally turn your attention towards him. "You can beg as much as you want, Ness. When will you finally understand that there is no us anymore?"

"Never.", he replied, "We belong with each other, don't you get it?" A crazed look on his face as he followed you behind to your car. You seated your child in the child seat before giving your offspring a toy to get their focus away from what was happening.

"You're crazy." "Crazy over you." You sighed, turning around with crossed arms. "Can you give it a rest?" "Not until I have you back in my arms." You let out a laugh in disbelief, hopping in the driver's seat and about to slam the door, only for him to stop you from doing so.

"Just this once," He whispered, for only you to hear, "Just hear me out this once. Let me come over and talk about this- about us. I miss you." Your expression softened, an exhausted sigh leaving your lips as you rubbed your temple. "Alright. But don't get your hopes up. I'm alone at ten tomorrow. You can come over then."

A triumphant smile played across his lips as he bid his goodbye to the both of you and you swore you saw him do an attempt of an air jump as he happily stepped back into the house.

#◛⑅·˚ ᵂᴼᴿᴷ #♡˳ᴮᴸᴸᴷ #lec writes!۵ #blue lock fluff #bllk fluff #itoshi rin fluff #blue lock x female reader #blue lock headcanons #blue lock #shidou fluff #raichi fluff #raichi jingo fluff #mikage reo fluff #reo fluff #bachira fluff #alexis ness fluff #ness fluff #blue lock angst #bllk angst

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auratux · 10 months

Note

Opinions on how the Bll characters would react when you tell them that you’re afraid that you’re holding them back? And you know the ‘you deserve better’ insecurities.

omgomg I love this 🥹🫶

includes: Bachira, Isagi, Kunigami, Rin, Chigiri and Nagi

warnings: angst, hurt comfort (if I labeled that right..)

Bachira Meguru

He’d be real sad that you even thought about that in the first place

It makes him think to himself if he never gave you enough reassurance or showed his appreciation to you

He’d want you to tell him why you felt that way in the first place and hopefully, you two could come to an understanding. He was big on communicating.

“I can’t keep holding you back, Meguru,” you whisper pitifully, staring down at your hands that were enveloped in his. “You have to focus on your future.”

“What makes you think that, honey?” He asks gently. His heart aches to see you in this state and wishes he could take all your pain and put it on his shoulders. “Please tell me.”

“You’re so close to reaching your dream and becoming pro and it feels that I’m the one who is stopping you from pursuing and taking the spot on the national team. If it were my fault that you didn’t go, I’d hate myself.”

“Do I make you feel that way..?”

“No!” You shake your head. “It’s me thinking that. I just don’t want to be that person who stops you from doing what you want most.”

“Darling..” his finger curls under your chin, tilting your head up. His yellow orbs staring into your own— your irises gleaming from the tears that fall. “If anything, you’re the reason why I’m pushing to go pro. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I can’t do it without you. I need you with me.”

“R-Really..? You mean that?”

“Every word. You’re my rock and I can’t do this without you. Please don’t think you’re holding me back. You’re motivating me to be the best version of myself.”

Isagi Yoichi

At first, he doesn’t believe you and thinks you’re joking but once he notices your tear-stained face he snaps out of it.

Isagi knows what it’s like to feel like you’re holding people back — he felt that way years ago when he played with his school team.

He feels that he’s not the best comforter with words but he knows that him being there for you and listening is more than enough — and you feel that way too

"I just can't stand the fact that I feel as if I'm holding you back from what you really want, Yoi. I feel like a burden"

And an arrow pierces right through his heart. His mouth is agape as he listens to you pour your heart out on the couch in the middle of the night. Prior, you were both enjoying a movie while cuddling when suddenly you said that you couldn't do it.

"You aren't a burden.."

"Then why do I feel like one?" you whimper, your sad eyes glaring into his own. "I feel like a failure of a girlfriend who can't even let her boyfriend do what he wants!"

Just like that, you break down in front of him for the second time that night. He hates the position he put you in. He never realized or never intentionally wanted you to feel this way. For all he knew, he felt that you guys were on the same page.

His ray of sunshine that could brighten up any dull room was now surrounded by dark grey clouds of doubt and insecurity.

"come here," he mutters, placing a hand on your shoulder and running it down your back, bringing you close to him. His other hand strokes the back of your head. His lips press against the top of your head, listening to your muffled cries.

"Listen, I know we both know I'm not the best comforter, but I'll always try my best to put a smile on your face. I don't want you to have these thoughts and I'm glad you could tell me. But know, I wouldn't be here without you, and damn won't continue without you."

Kunigami Rensuke

when you approached him with a teary expression he immediately goes into protective mode. who did it? Where were they? does he know them? doesn't matter, he's gonna get to the bottom of it

but when you tell him what's upsetting you, he goes straight to comforting you and relieving you from the doubts surrounding your mind

"I know how much you worked and how far you pushed for this and I feel that you could reach your full potential without me here. I mean, maybe you have to go on without me and start a new chapter..."

"Is that how you truly feel?"

"yes," you whisper pitifully, refusing to meet his eyes. you aren't sure what he's thinking and honestly, you want to keep it that way. it would hurt too much to find out if he's looking down at you with disgust or thinking you're insane.

"look at me."

A small noise in refusal and a shake of your head is your response. He lets out a small sign and scoots closer to you, squeezing your bare thigh. "Come on, don't be that way."

"Why aren't you mad?"

"Mad?" he asks in confusion. "Why would I be mad?" His question now caught you off guard as you snap up to look at him. His eyes soften once he notices a tear trailing down the swell of your cheek and down your chin.

"Because I just implied I'm holding you back."

"So why would I-" he starts then silences. "Do you think this is the most important thing to me?"

"Kinda yeah.."

"No," he lets out a small chuckle, a smile breaking out onto his lips. "you got it all wrong."

"How?" you whisper. "It's basically your dream."

"My dream? Football is dandy and all but it's not going to be here forever. My real dream is to be able to spend every moment with you. You're the most important thing to me. Don't think otherwise."

Chigiri Hyoma

when you tell him how you feel, he feels guilty and gets to the point where he almost starts crying with you.

he wants nothing more than to whisk you into his arms and calm you down and remove those awful thoughts away.

eventually, he's gonna need reassurance in the end since he feels he failed you as a boyfriend

"Are you holding back because you're worried about your leg? Or you don't want to go far because of me?"

That question caught him off guard when you guys were getting ready for bed. Never in his life had Chigiri thought that you would think something as silly as that. At least he never had a reason to think that, unless he gave you that impression.

Once that question was released into the air, it led to a discussion that ended with both of you crying. You were crying because you were apologizing for asking such and felt guilty for even thinking it. He was crying due to your crying.

He hated to see it. He wasn't an emotional guy, he was quite reserved for the most part. It was always guaranteed for him to cry when you did. It was like a trigger for him.

"I'm so sorry, my love. I never wanted to make you feel insecure. In fact, I'm supposed to do the opposite and make everything feel better."

“No, Hyoma, I’m sorry for asking that question. I don’t know what came over me to ask it but I’m sorry.”

His pink locks sway with the shake of his head. His hand brings the back of your head closer to his chest and suddenly you guys are starting to rock back and forth slowly.

“You have every right to be asking questions like that. Please don't apologize for asking. I'm not upset you asked it."

"Are you sure...?"

"yes darling," he whispers, his cheek pressing up against the crown of your head. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing to me?"

"Because I wish I never gave you that impression and wish you can see how much I can accomplish with you by my side. You're not going anywhere. I need you."

Nagi Seshiro

hearing the words come out of your mouth distracts him from his game which results in him turning it off and looking at you in disbelief

he wasn't sure if you meant it actually considering you knew how lazy he was to do anything but regardless, he gave you his full undivided attention

"you deserve better than me."

"There's no one I want. I want you."

you sign, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. "you're only saying that to make me feel better."

"Yeah that's kind of what I was going for, but I truly mean it. Believe me. I only want you." Nagi reaches for your hand, tugging you closer to his body. His hand trails down to your waist, giving a gentle squeeze.

"I don't want anyone else wearing my jersey and being my personal cheerleader. It makes me feel like I'm the best player in the world."

"You mean that...?"

"Mhm," he nods. "Without you, I don't know what I would be doing if I'm being honest. I'd probably be cooped up in my room and play games."

"You do that already..."

"Yeah, but this is different, honey. I'd be doing that alone and playing football. Doesn't that sound boring?"

"Well, I guess it does," you mumble, playing with the end of his shirt.

"What I'm trying to say is that there is no one else I want. There's no one who could replace you. You're my everything. I want to do all of those things, with you. Only you."

Itoshi Rin

at first, he doesn't know what to do.

what you're telling him reminds him of how he felt all those years ago with his brother. Unlike you, Rin's support system was no longer present and he wouldn't put you in that same position.

"I'm just confused where you got this feeling from. Am I neglecting you?"

"No, Rin. It's just when I met you, football was all you ever spoke about. Hell, it was practically your life and even after we got together you talked about it when we were alone. I just feel that you can't achieve what you want with me here..."

And there it was.

After his brother had left him behind all those years ago, it still affects him today. He never knew he dragged those feelings with him into your relationship.

No doubt Rin felt anger when his older brother left. He had some regrets and the majority of those regrets were not telling his brother how it made him feel.

Did Rin have to leave you behind in order to grasp his dreams?

Suddenly all those feelings long ago washed over him. Guilt, sadness, and anger welled up in his head to the point where he was even suffocating in his own thoughts.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, looking down at his lap. "I never realized I put those thoughts into your head."

"It's okay, Rin. I know you didn't mean it."

"No, it's not okay." He looks back up at you, eyes sadden at your sorrowful expression. He reaches for your hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I know how you feel and it's awful. I never wanted you to feel the same way he made me feel."

"Rin..."

"I'm not him," he starts. "I don't want you to leave. I need you here with me. I want you at every game, wearing my jersey and screaming my name. You're my biggest supporter and I wouldn't change it for the world."

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koiir · 10 months

Text

⸻ Oh my, oh my god ⸻

Drabbles based on Newjeans “omg”

𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Characters: isagi, rin, sae, nagi, chigiri, bachira x gn!reader

𓈒࣪ 𐐪𐑂 ─ Genre: fluff, slight angst with comfort

A/n; I swear I gotta stop changing my theme… | wc; 2.7k

It’s you, your worry about me / it’s you, you make me laugh

Isagi who has been your childhood friend ever since well…childhood, it’s in the way he understands you more than you do yourself. So it’s only natural that he cares for you only wishing for the best, he’s seen you at your worst and your best.

It’s in the moment in which he oaths to himself that he will always be by your side, seeing you in this state only makes his heart ache as isagi watches you curl up avoiding his gaze. Your eyes are puffy from the crying you have been doing, opting to hide from isagi so he won’t see you in this state—knowing you tend to feel embarrassment while others see you so vulnerable.

“I-Im sorry…it’s so stupid.” He always hated that about you, how apologetic you were even though it wasn’t even your fault— especially at a time like this.

“Don’t apologize [name]…it’s not your fault.” Isagi said sitting down next you.

He didn’t know exactly what to do, after all this time he still was shying away from certain things. How badly isagi wishes to hold your hand, hug you, be close with you.

“Hey…wanna hear what happened at practice today? I swear it was crazy…” isagi laughed recalling what had happened.

He know how you had an avoidance with things that went wrong, and isagi just wanted you to forget about what happened and cheer you up.

You laughed pulling your head up and resting it onto your knees. “Y-yeah…did someone get a ball to their face?” You said, voice slightly muffled.

Isagi smiled, “no…surprisingly.” You two laughed as he then told you the events of his practice, noting the way you looked at him not once looking away from him.

He couldn’t lie, whenever he looked at you he would quickly look away before looking back at you but looking somewhere else.

He felt his heart beat with the way you smiled while listening…isagi was proud that he could at least cheer you up. Knowing you loved this.

They keep on asking me “who is he?” / You show up with no hesitation

It’s no secret that rin has never been fond of social interactions with others, yet somehow he stilled sticked by your side (most likely because rin wants to wish everything could go back to how they use to be, in the past) After his encounter with his brother again, it seems that shifted rin into becoming colder with others, pushing himself to his limits to prove himself.

You were the one who always stayed with him after this, hurt seeing your childhood friend like this because of his own brother. You knew rin, you knew what was best for him and how to help.

It was tough at first, with rin and his emotions all over the place. But he then realized that you were only doing what he had done, comforting one when in need. He knew that you wouldn’t let him that go easily after being friends for so long. Rin knew he couldn’t risk it, risk losing you.

Whenever you are asked about your now boyfriend, your friends beg you to at least get a photo of him. They knew of the friendship of you and rin, but not much. Not even your relationship with him.

Not even rin will admit that he has someone close to him…not because he’s ashamed of you being his, rather he finds it brings him comfort that the two of you are in your own world—away from the presence of others. Rin would much rather be by your side than with others, probably the only people knowing about you two would by your parents. As they knew of the long lasting friendship of you and rin.

Now rin shows up at your door, entering before pulling you into him. Rin was always a clingy boyfriend, not even caring about the teasing knowing that he loved it deep down.

“Shut up.” He says, but rin only wishes for more. He hands you the bag of goodies he got for you, knowing this will set the mood for the movie night he came over for.

Not only was that the reason for his appearance, but because of the time he has been away from you, given the two week break—rin knows he has to make these two weeks the best. For you and him.

This was something you and rin always did together, watching horror movies as it is the favorite genre for you two. Rin liked it when you would ramble about your conspiracies, listening and making comments on it.

You were the only one who could get rin like this, sitting beside you while he lets you lean your head on his shoulder. Your presence being the light in his life.

Oh my, oh my God, I knew this would happen / I was really hoping that he will come through

Sae knows that’s he’s hurting you, he knows he’s an asshole and he should do better—he wants to do better, for you. It’s tough for sae already with his hectic schedule and it’s mainly his fault for never fixing it, but sae doesn’t focus on his needs much. Which means he doesn’t tend to understand exactly how you feel whenever he doesn’t reply or contact you.

Sae has never been the best at communication, but he wants you close. The years of friendship have made his heart grow fonder of you, but he’s someone who can’t seem to fix it.

Just like now, with him being back home he is able to spend time with you. It’s suppose to be a break for him, but sae can only focus on one thing and that’s his career. He doesn’t realize it until you send that message.

— You’re losing me Sae

He stares at the message before seeing more… he hasn’t answered you in a week.

He feels a pain in his chest as he feels a shiver run down him, feeling his heart start to ache. What? What do you mean by that?

He feels as if he was running with no end, not sure what the outcome will be once he sees you. You avoid eye contact while you fidget trying to keep your poker face up, but he knows better. Sae knows how hurt you are, because of him.

“I thought you were busy.” He knows that he was, but he also knows that’s because he never took the opportunity to make time for you.

You wanted to spend time with him, like he promised you. But he forgot about it, thinking that you will understand or remind him. But why would you? He promised you.

Sae knows that whatever comes out of his mouth will only make things worse, and he doesn’t want that. Because for you that would be the last straw, or he would only continue to hurt you more. So sae hugs you, he feels his heart break when you try to pull away. Something you do when you don’t want affection.

But you stop your movement as you cover your face with your hands, muffling your sobs. Sae knows you always do this when you cry, not wishing to feel vulnerable in front of him.

His breath hitches, hearing your sobs because of him. He then starts to wonder if you have spent nights like this crying over him. And you have, he knows this since this isn’t the first time he’s ignored you. He’s terrible, so why? Why the hell do you stay?

Because I know you’re better than this sae, I know you are.

He thinks of those words, you still have hope for him. That he can, no…will do better for you. He has to now, because if he doesn’t he’ll lose you. That’s the last thing sae wants.

“I’m sorry.” His words aren’t in the same tone he talks in, it’s almost like a whisper. “I love you.” He says this because it’s the only thing he can think of right now. Sae makes a promise to himself, that no matter what happens he will beg, and beg for forgiveness and tell you how truly sorry he is. But he doesn’t want to now, scared of saying the wrong thing.

You don’t say anything as you hug him back, your sobs coming to an end. “I hate you.” He lets you say whatever, because he knows you haven’t expressed how your true emotions to others about him. Sae doesn’t care if it’s the truth, he just wants to be there for you.

You pull back after some time, face puffy but he knows you’re about to say something. “Talk to me sae, please.”

He feels a sense of happiness, his heart beating. He knows this is your way of telling him “I’ll stay” but he also knows you want him to communicate with you. He will, sae promises for the sake of you and him.

He’ll do whatever it takes, but he knows it might take time to learn himself. He’s never been use to this, and you know that too. Which is why he can’t lose you, he’ll come through. For you.

Before I met you / Everything was pointless My feeling is boundless I know, I know, I'm going crazy right?

For once Nagi actually puts effort in, even if it’s just a little—he knows you will appreciate. His friends think this is a dream, because with all the questions nagi is asking, nagi starts to envision different scenarios and how he plans to do them. Crazy right?

They don’t actually believe nagi will do all this, but nagi knows he has to repay you for all the things he has left you to deal with. Him.

You always tell him that you love him no matter what, but he knows his problem with forgetting to do things you ask him to, resulting in you doing them instead. Even if you’re tired or not in the mood you still do it, which sometimes results in you getting mad… but nagi deserves it.

So here he is now, as soon as he wakes up he goes out and gets the props he needs for this surprise. Making sure he doesn’t get distracted while on the notes app on his phone—it would be a shame if he started playing video games and forgot everything.

Nagi gets to your apartment and sighs, before he gets to work and sets up his surprise for you. You should be getting back in 30 minutes…he can do it.

And he did! Nagi slumped onto the couch and looked at his phone, exactly 5 minutes left. Until you arrive. He just wishes you could enter the door any second now…tired of waiting but he knows everything he did for you is worth it.

He hears the door opening, opening an eye and sitting up slowly and then he sees you. He can tell you’re surprised to see him, calling out his name and asking why he’s in your apartment (not that you mind)

He gets up and towers over you as he hugs you like a kola, before telling you his reason for being over at your place.

“I had to repay you, for my…laziness. Mhm, love you.” You can tell nagi is tired with the way he sighs out and holds you while swaying your bodies.

You can only laugh as you you tell him he didn’t have to to all this.

“What? So you don’t appreciate it? I worked…really hard you know.” This dude.

There ain't nothing else that I would hold on to / I hear his voice through all the noise

“Here, don’t want you getting lost.” chigiri tells you as he hands you his hand to hold onto. He knows a place crowded like this isn’t something he is fond of and the same can be said for you. So he hopes to put you at ease with the contact of your hands.

Chigiri has always been able to sense your emotions as he usually feels the same, something that he loves about your relationship. He knows how his touch is one you appreciate even if you don’t ask, knowing that you only feel comfortable with his touch.

He also knows how his voice is the one thing that helps you calm down, his smooth voice that makes everything just a little bit better.

“[name]? You okay?” Chigiri notice’s the way you gaze off into the distance as you two walk through the crowd. You feel lightheaded as everyone around you walks, becoming overwhelmed with the crowd.

Chigiri pulls you somewhere more secluded and pulls you closer to him slowly. “Hey, hey…is okay. Sorry, I know you haven’t been feeling good with everything recently.” He rubs you back, feeling guilt overcome him.

“No…it’s fine hyoma I’m just extra tired today.” You melt into his embrace, his body giving you the comfort, almost like a blanket wrapping around you. He holds you for as you need, until you pull back from him rather slow.

“Wanna go home? I’ll pamper you, promise.” You know he isn’t lying when he says that, cause chigiri and you have basically made it a routine to do skincare as well as other activities to help one another.

His voice is stuck in your mind as he now tells you about the new book he read, knowing you’re about to fall asleep. It’s always comforting to hear chigiri’s voice, as it’s the one way to calm you down. The one thing that will never leave your mind, him.

Got no worries 'cause I got someone / It's okay to be alone 'cause I love someone

With his past, Bachira has always kept his insecurities to himself—opting to hide it with his energetic personality. It’s not like he always thinks of it, but only when he is deep in thought he feels himself wonder, why are you with him?

He gets told the same thing “they are out of your league” “they’ll leave you eventually” “you don’t deserve them” “how did you get them?”

Whenever he is told this, he just shuts them down with an awkward laugh and trying to make light of it. But deep down it only tears his heart apart. Are they right? You could find someone else, someone who potentially is better than bachira…

He doesn’t tell you this though, because he’s scared you will take it into consideration. So now that he has you laying on his chest, he feels happy…lucky. “I love you meguru.” You said, a smile making its way onto his face.

But do you?

He doesn’t notice the fact that he said it out loud until you get up with worry on your face. “Huh? Of course I do meguru!” You smiled while hitting his chest lightly. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Bachira sighs, a forced laugh coming out of him. You know something is wrong, you’ve noticed this behavior of him whenever something happens.

“You can tell me if something is bothering you.”

He frowns slightly, knowing that he could tell you his worries. And he should…you always tell bachira of how important communication is. So for you, he tells you even though he’s scared deep down of what you will think.

Once you hear his words, your heart breaks for knowing he has felt like this. For how long? You know this feeling of insecurity, everyone feels this emotion. So you can understand bachira and why he feels like this, you knew how he didn’t have anyone other than himself when he was younger.

Bachira knows you’re his with the way you comfort him, it’s in the way you love him that shows him you will never leave him.

He feels a sense of relief hearing your words, he clutches on you like you will leave—but he knows you won’t. He shouldn’t worry anymore, he won’t. Because your love for him is proof of that, your love stays with him even while you are away.

He smiles, knowing he won’t have to face this alone. Cause he has you, the bond you two created won’t break because of the love you two share. This is what he reminds himself every single day.

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simp4fictionalmenandjesus · 9 months

Text

itoshi rin x reader - breaking up with him.

you try your best to salvage your relationship; it doesn’t work.

angst, hurt no comfort, not edited

“you’re mean.” you turn to rin, and surprisingly there’s no teasing smile on your face and following giggle to accompany your words.

rin stares blankly. you’re aware that he’s already grasped the situation, that he had known it was coming.

he had always had an intense gaze, but for some reason it felt more cruel than ever - because an intense gaze from rin had never been perceived as bad by you, for it had usually only held intense feelings of love.

now though, it’s empty. as if someone had drained every feeling for you from his brain and disposed of it down the sewer of things itoshi rin was indifferent too.

indifference was something you had always hated. you’d rather him shout at you and declare an undying hatred for your very existence than be completely indifferent to it.

“my things are packed.” you say, as if he didn’t already know. rin had always been observant, so of course he would notice when your items start disappearing from his apartment. now, every trace of you has been cleansed of and there is only the coldness of rin left.

this moment has been building up for months. an accumulation of his feelings dying out and your resolve weakening had resulted in a clean breakup.

you’re not sure when he had started to fall out of love with you, when the traits he had found endearing started turning into insignificant things.

the moment you had realised that rin started to fall out of love was when you were cuddling in bed and once he fell asleep, his arms loosened and he turned around. a gap left between you and him.

his true feelings has always been the most clear when he was unconscious. rin had never been an outwardly emotional man, but he had always clung onto you in bed with an impossibly tight grip. he liked it most when his head was placed on your chest and he could hear the steady beating of your heart.

once you had found out about his deteriorating love for you, you had decided to try harder to maintain your relationship. surely rin, the boy you had dated since you were 17, couldn’t possible completely let go of you after five years together.

(he had told you that you were his first love, kiss and most importantly, the first person he felt safe with. did he not feel safe with you anymore? what could you have possibly done to cause this?)

you started putting more effort into the meals you would make him, making sure to cook ochazuke with bream - his favourite - at least twice a week. you would fill up his water bottle and clean the house as if you were some sort of housewife and not a woman with a job.

(you used some of your vacation days to go to a cooking camp to improve your skills. on the last day, the instructor had said that any man would fall in love with a good cook like you. that day, you walked home with a large smile and expensive ingredients on hand.)

rin noticed your effort, he had been payed you a few compliments but it seemed that no matter how much work you put into earning back his favour, it just kept decreasing.

so now, here you were. standing in front of the man you couldn’t stop loving who had stopped loving you.

you stand still for another few seconds before turning your back, hoisting a backpack void of the matching keychain you had given him when you confessed in high school. you were flustered when he had taken it and smiled lightly, staring at you with those intense eyes of his.

you walk out slowly, pitifully waiting for him to say something, anything to make you stay. you would if he asked you to, immediately and with no hesitation would you turn around, unpack your bag, clip the keychain back on and fall into his embrace. but he won’t ask. you know he won’t. he knows you want him to.

you don’t say goodbye. you don’t have to, for he had already left long ago and there is no reason to bid adieu to someone who isn’t there.

though, you do say a soft farewell to a piece of your heart that will always be left with him and his intense gaze.

———————————————

a week passes, then a month, and eventually a whole year passes. the seasons had changed quickly, but all of them had felt the same to you.

it’s not as if you only thought of rin. you spent time working hard, socialising with friends and taking care of an italien greyhound you had adopted a day after the break up.

she was cute. you had decided to name her maple. she was smaller than the average italian greyhound but her high-energy made up for it.

you don’t have much time to think of rin. you keep yourself busy, over exerting yourself to ensure you’re knocked out by the time you reach your bedroom so no memories can claw at your mind and pry your heart open, letting a sea of longing bleed out.

———————————————

you stumbled upon an article today. you think google must be playing some cruel prank on you when the headline ‘star player itoshi rin’s new girlfriend.’ you shouldn’t click on it. you really shouldn’t.

you open the article and the first thing that captures your eyes is rin’s face. the picture screams romance, his arm around the girls waist as she’s wearing a hoodie that’s clearly too big to be hers. there’s a cheeky grin on her face as her slender finger lightly points rin’s cheek.

he’s smiling. that stupid soft smile that he used to send you. his ears are pink as he looks down at the girl with that fucking intense gaze.

it hurts to see rin happy. it hurts more to realise that you’re still in love with him too much, an insufferable amount of love that won’t even allow you to be happy for him.

the girl is pretty. she looks kind. she hasn’t done anything wrong. so why do you feel such an ugly resentment towards her?

fuck her, fuck rin and fuck you for not being able to look away from that gaze of his.

that night, you set up an appointment with a therapist.

———————————————

y/n gets therapy (real) ‼️‼️‼️‼️😈😈😈😈‼️‼️‼️‼️😈😈😈😈‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️😈😈😈😈😈😈‼️😈😈😈‼️‼️😈‼️‼️😈‼️

I WROTE THIS AT LIKE 2AM IM SORRY IF ITS MESSY 😰😰😰😰

#blue lock x reader #itoshi rin x reader #rin itoshi x reader #blue lock x reader angst #itoshi rin angst #itoshi rin x reader angst #rin itoshi angst #rin itoshi x reader angst #blue lock angst #s4fmaj fics

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lazyalani · 1 year

Text

| Itoshi Rin × [GN!Reader]

| What are you so scared of?

| Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Secret Relationship Trope, Rin breaks down, Not Proofread

| Summary: Rin thinks keeping your relationship a secret is the best for both you, however, he didn't think the consequences of it over, but it'll be fine.

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

In highschool, you always dreamed about moving in together with your partner when you get older. You thought everything through, from thinking about the sweet things, sleeping in, cuddling, movie nights, home greetings, and how to deal with aftermath of arguements.

At 25 years old, you finally decided to ask your boyfriend of 4 years, Itoshi Rin, if you could move in together, in which he declined as less harsh as his moody mouth can.

You had no objections really, although you were a bit disappointed, but you never really dwelled on it because what was important is you have your relationship.

Is what you wanted to think.

Rin has always been intent on keeping your relationship a secret. You had agreed upon it ofcourse, thinking you'd be able to endure until he decides to reveal it. You thought that it'd be fine, that you'd be able to handle the thirsty and wild comments other people gave him knowing he's all yours at the end of the day. You thought you'd be able to handle the scandals he had with models, actresses, other athletes. It turns out you couldn't.

In the 4 years of your relationship, never once have you both go on a date outside. No coffee shop dates, no shopping dates, no cinema dates, no arcade dates, nothing. It was always indoors, in your apartment, and never his. It was safer, he said. Or was he just scared? You thought it didn't matter if all you could do was have couch movie dates, all that mattered was you both could have each other like that. That you could have him in your arms, falling asleep in the middle of the movie, tired from practice.

It wasn't enough, afterall.

It hurt. It hurt to walk by him getting interviewed publicly, surrounded by fans, pretending not to know each other. It hurt to cheer for him during games, knowing no one knows you were his partner, knowing you couldn't announce your presence, the presence of his lover. It hurt to see him at the end of the day, finally being together after not seeing each other for days, weeks, months, just falling asleep because you're both tired. It hurt to see your conversation with him, so plain, like you're just aquaintances. It hurt to open your social media, your feed being continously flooded by news of him, be it interviews, modeling for brands, with his teammates, and scandals. It hurt to hear him saying he isn't in a relationship.

It hurts you that you're tired.

You didn't know what actually sparked you to ask him the question.

Both of you were sitting on your couch, in the middle of your 'date', your mind elsewhere, thinking about everything.

Was it because your patience had finally snapped? Was it because you were tired from work? Was it because of your headache fueled by the constant loud sounds from the movie? Or was it because you knew while you were so worked up about your relationship, Rin didn't care at all?

"Hey, Rin."

He paused the movie, "Hungry?"

You shooked your head. "No, actually.."

He raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Aren't you tired?"

"I am, practice---"

"No, I meant from this." You gestured to everything around you.

"I don't understand, [Name], be more clear." He frowned.

"Of this kind of relationship, Rin." You finally said.

It was silent.

And then he sighed and looked away.

"You said you were okay with this." He replied.

"I was," He took note of the past tense used. "until I wasn't anymore."

He frowned harder and looked away, sighing. "What do want me to do? I can't--"

"That's exactly it, Rin! You can. You just don't want to." You raised your voice a little higher.

"I'm an athlete, [Name]."

"So what?"

"I can't just say I have a partner all of a sudden." He exclaimed, getting frustrated. Everything in his sight was starting to get red.

"Why not? They're not your owner, you're not a dog, Rin." All of his answers didn't make sense to you, but deep inside, you knew exactly the reason why he doesn't want you exposed.

"Ofcourse I know that. It's just that.."

"What? It's just that what, Rin? What are you so scared of?" You shooked your head, your chest starting to hurt.

Silence fell over the two of you, only the small, low background noises of the long forgotten movie being heard.

Rin couldn't bring himself to answer. He'd asked himself the same question a thousand times before too, choosing to ignore because you said it was okay, afterall. You were okay. He never pondered on it too long because he thought he didn't need to as long as you were okay with it. He didn't dwell on it too much because he thought the answer would just come to him one day and all that mattered was that you said it was okay. He chose to be ignorant because he thought he'd be able to tell everyone about you soon and the only thing he cares about is that you were okay.

But everytime he thought he was ready, he couldn't do it.

Now infront of you, as you ask the same question, he asks himself again.

"What am I so scared of?"

Was it of your safety from his fans?

"What am I so scared of?"

Was it yours and his privacy?

"What am I so scared of?"

Was it his brother's opinion of him?

"What am I so scared of?"

Or was it his reputation?

Everything clicked. Sae. Reputation. Fans. Media. Privacy. Soccer.

He was afraid of losing everything.

He was afraid of losing everything he worked so hard for. He was afriad of ruining the career he worked hard for since he was a kid. The career he worked day and night, head to toe, blood and sweat, physical to mental. He was afraid of what everyone would think of the hardworking, serious, amazing, egoist Itoshi Rin.

The praise and recognition he has long wanted has finally come and he was afraid of losing it. The acknowledgement he wanted from his brother, he got from the world, and he didn't want to lose it. And because of his selfishness, you, the only person who knows who he is inside, is hurting. He was greedy. Too afraid of letting go of the fame, and too afraid of losing the only one who truly understands him.

Greedy. Selfish.

Yet, as he stares at your teary eyed self right now, leaning on the hand rest of the couch, why does everything seem so simple? Why is everything suddenly so clear?

Rin does not understand what's happening. So he decides to do what he thinks of first.

He stares at you and asks himself. What am I so afraid of?

His arm encases around your trembling form, wrapping around you like a warm blanket.

Your eyes teared up more. You thought he finally had enough. You thought he thinks you were being too pushy and clingy that he decided to break it off. So why is he letting out gentle, comforting words and caressing your hair so softly. So tender.

"Losing you. There is nothing I'm more afraid of than losing you." He says, breathless. Seeing your breaking form infront of him like that, it made him realize, why was he so caught up in a sport where his obssession came out, born out of spite and love for his brother, to the point that he was prioritizing it over you.

You, who understood him. You, who never turned your back on him. You, who stayed with him through his bad times. You, who was always there for him. You, who he didn't need to ask for attention because it was always on him. You, who he never had to prove anything because you tell him how amazing he is. You, who always recognizes him. You, who loves him despite everything he is. You, who loves him despite everything he is not.

"They, and my career, will never matter as much as you do." He sighs, heavily, but relieved. His eyes sting. "I - I'm sorry."

Your tears finally fall down. You didn't know if it was in joy, in sadness, or in relief.

He kisses the top of your head as you hold on to his arms that were surrounding you. "I'm sorry for being an asshole. I'm sorry for not seeing that you weren't okay anymore. I'm so for being ignorant. I'm sorry for not realizing it sooner."

You shooked your head repeatedly. "I - It's okay. It's okay now, love. I forgive you." You sniffed.

He shooked his head too. "I'm sorry for being a bad boyfriend. And Thank you. For everything."

You smiled, still teary eyed, against his chest.

"I'll - I'll tell everyone about us -- hell I'll tell the whole world about us. I'll, I'll never let you feel that again. Nothing will matter as long as you're here. I'm sorry for being selfish and greedy. I'm sorry for not taking note of your feelings before. I'm sorry for--" He rambled on, his breath hitching.

You break free from his hug and kneel on the couch, now taller than him who was sitting, you brought his face on your hands and kissed his forehead, his hands holding onto the ones on his cheeks. He closed his eyes, feeling your warm hands comforting his panic and you kissed the tears falling down his eyes.

"Shhh.... Everything is alright now, love. I forgive you, and I love you."

"I love you, [Name]. Thank you, thank you, for being with me. Please - please don't leave I-"

"Shhh... We'll be fine, hm? We can fix this. It's alright, Rin. We'll be fine." You continue to hold him, not minding your own tears falling from your face.

Rin felt relieved and happy. He didn't care if you were both wet with tears right now. What matters is that you're okay. You're both okay. Everything's okay. And this time, he'd make sure it lasts. All that matters is you're still here with him. He'll be fine as long as you're with him.

All that matters is you.

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #blue lock angst #itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin #bllk #bllk x reader #bllk rin #blue lock fluff

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k0dzukeiji · 5 months

Text

𝐀𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞 - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫o

part 2 to Lost cause

synopsis: though you were no longer on speaking terms, you’d never leave him alone, not when he needs you.

genre: angst>fluff, hurt>comfort

warnings: cursing, character death, crying (does that need to be a warning? idfk), mentions of break ups, NOT PROOF READ!!

wc: 1,216

taglist: @mona345 @hihello-pinky

a/n: inspired by that one audio thats like “you came, you called“ PLEASE SUNA IS SO OOC IM GOING TO SLEEP ON A HIGHWAY.

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

5 months. It’s been 5 months since you last talked to your best friend Suna Rintaro. Despite not having a real conversation with him for 5 months, you still kept a close eye on him. As you watched him from afar you noticed he seemed to be doing well despite your not being present, of course it was an adjustment for him and he was acting strange for a few months but after a while he seemed to revert back to his normal self. Even after he broke up with Rei, he seemed fine. You figured you had nothing to worry about, he was happy, he was healthy, he was fine.

However recently you noticed something changed about him, he was no longer calm. He seemed restless and stressed, then he didn’t show up to school for a few days. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to miss school sometimes but this? This felt different. This made you worried, really worried. Then you received a text, a text which only intensified your worried.

He texted you while you were in the middle of filling the bottles at practice. You thought of ignoring the vibration that you felt in your pocket when his message came through, but something in your gut told you to check and when you saw the contact name, you were immediately glad you checked.

rin: (Name) I know you don’t want to talk to me right now but I really fucking need you 3:37 pm

rin: I can’t explain now but I just I need you to be here 3:38 pm

rin: Please (Name) I can’t do this without you 3:41 pm

With that, you dropped everything. You didn’t even finish filling the bottles, as soon as you saw the last message you knew he wasn’t lying. You knew he really needed you, you knew something was wrong and he needed you. You left the unfilled bottles at the fountain and started running to where you left your bag.

“(Name)? Where the hell are you going?! Practice isn’t over yet!” The blonde twin yelled as you pushed past him and the rest of the team, leaving them all stunned.

“It’s nothing! I’ll be back soon!” You yelled back as you picked up your bag, the look of worry on your face still very evident. You didn’t even give yourself a chance to change out of your tracksuit. The second you changed your shoes you were out of there.

You ran full speed down the streets of Hyogo until you reached Suna’s apartment building. Panting, you frantically entered the elevator and pressed the button to his floor. As the elevator made it’s way up, you dug through your bag in search of the spear key which Suna had given you in case of emergencies. The elevator made a ding sound as it reached the floor, immediately you ran out of the elevator and down the hallway towards his apartment.

Once you made it to his door, you were extremely out of breath, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was if he was okay. You quickly unlocked the front door and threw your things on the ground as you struggled to slip out of your shoes.

You then ran straight to his room and when you entered, you felt your heart break a little bit at the sight of him. He had the lights off and he was sat at the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands as his body trembled. You’ve never seen him this vulnerable. Without a word, you walked towards him until you were in front of him. You got down on your knees in front of him, and began to pat his head softly.

He flinched and tensed at the sudden contact but relaxed as a sense of familiarity hit him. He immediately looked up with bloodshot eyes and teary eyes stained cheeks.

“Rin…” Your voice barely above a whisper as you brushed stray strand of his hair out of his eyes.

“(Name)… You came..” His reddened eyes widened as they focused on you, his voice sounded so broken, so hoarse as if he had been crying for hours.

“You called... Of course I came, I’ll always be here when you need me.” Suna pulled you into a tight hug, burying his head into the crook of your neck while squeezing you tight.

“It’s alright Rin, I’m here. It’s gonna be okay.” You said, you were still unsure of what happened but all you knew was that you had to be here for him. You rubbed his back in circles

“N-no…” His voice cracked and he shook his head, his embrace becoming even tighter.

“What..? Rin I need you to tell me what’s wrong”

“Mom…”

“She’s-“ It felt like his words were caught in his throat, like no matter how hard he tried to talk the words wouldn’t come out.

“Deep breaths, take your time.” He nodded his head began to inhale and exhale slowly.

“She’s gone… Mom p-passed away…” You felt your heart stop and you were at a loss for words. You didn’t know what you could say to him but all you knew was that you had to stay with him, no matter what.

“Oh Rin…” You tightened your embrace around him and rested your head against his, bringing one of your hands into his hair to try and soothe him.

“(Name)— I don’t want to be alone, please… Please don’t leave…” As you listened to him you felt a pang of guilt in your chest.

“I’m here Rin, I’m not going anywhere. It’s gonna be okay, I won’t leave.” You spoke truthfully.

“I’m scared… I lost mom and I thought I was losing you too and I— I thought you were going to leave me alone…” Your heart ached at his words, you’ve never heard him admit he was afraid. The cool, calm and nonchalant Suna you knew was here crying into your arms for the first time in years.

“I know and I am so sorry Rin, I’d never leave you alone… I’m here okay? I’m not going anywhere, I won’t leave you.” You said truthfully as he tightened his embrace around you. The two of you sat in a comforting silence while Suna cried into your neck leaving it wet, but that didn’t matter.

“I— I’m sorry for what I said on that night… I didn’t mean it. I’ll always you…” He whispered into you as he shut his eyes, letting all of his cares and worries be forgotten as he laid in your arms.

Soon, Suna’s body fell limp in your arms, signaling he had fallen asleep. Letting out a deep sigh, you press a kiss to the top of his head and embrace him just a little tighter.

“I won’t leave you alone Rin, I’d never leave you alone. I’ll always be here when you need me. You’ll never be alone, not as long as I’m around…” You whispered as you brought him closer, shutting your eyes tightly to prevent the tears from falling. It felt horrible, knowing that he was afraid to be alone and that you had left him alone for months.

You left once, but you have no intention of leaving him ever again. As long as you’re here, he’ll never have to be worried about being alone. You won’t ever leave him alone, not when he needs you.

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: this sucks anyway OPEN ENDING AHAHAHAH (imagine whatever you want, originally this had a set ending but the writers block got to me so imagine whatever! If you have any ideas, please reblog them! I’d love to see them ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

#arins works✒️#haikyuu #haikyuu angst #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu x reader #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro angst #hq suna #suna angst #suna rintaro fic #suna rintaro x reader #this sucks #suna rintarō #suna x reader #suna rintarou

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kozzzma · 5 months

Note

RIN FUCKING ITOSHI HURT/COMFORT PLEASE! AFTER THE ITOSHI FIGHT, RIN COMES TO THE READER ALL UPSET!!

Itoshi Shaped Puddle

an: Absolutely! I adore rin so much it’s unreal ><. Im having a random motivation burst but its also midnight so please forgive me if this sucks.

character: (A very floppy) Rin Itoshi

CW: Angst with comfort, Rin being awkward, Reader goes into the mens locker room but the whole team has left its just Rin, Maybe OOC, Mentions of Sae Itoshi and Isagi Yoichi.

You had been waiting for Rin to come find you after the game for 20 minutes now, the rest of the team had already trickled out of the locker rooms, but your boyfriend was nowhere to be found. The sounds of the crowd from the stadium had died down as people left back to their homes. After you’re sure that you’re alone, you call Rin. No reply.

With a sigh of defeat, you poke your head into the locker rooms to look for Rin. After poking around for a bit, you find your usually stoic boyfriend huddled up in a corner, his face wet with tears that he was clearly trying to hide.

“Go away.” He was clearly upset, but also trying his best not to look whiney and pathetic now that you’re here. Despite his command, you sit on the tiled floor and pull him into a tight hug, earning you grumbles of annoyance.

“I told you to go away.” Rin is clearly trying to avoid your gaze as he stares at the wall beside you.

“I will if you tell me what's wrong.” Rin huffs in response and tries to cross his arms. “You played well, so what's bothering you?”

Rin stays silent before eventually sighing, “Why did Sae pick Isagi over me?” You start to gently stroke his hair as his sobbing picks up again. “Why can Isagi change soccer in Japan but not me?”

“Well, your brother is stupid for saying that. You were the best on the team out there. He shouldn’t be taking out his obliviousness on you.” Rin hums as he starts to melt into your touch, and you can feel his muscles relax s he leans against you. “You’re so talented, Rin and there's something wrong with anyone who can’t see that.”

Rin hums again, your affirmations helping him to calm himself. “I’m sorry that I'm being so pathetic right now, just…don’t leave me, please?”

“Never in a million years.”

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #rin itoshi x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi #itoshi rin #★﹐writing．﹗﹑

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aboutkiyoomi · 10 months

Text

new person, same old mistakes

synopsis: you broke up with suna so “he could focus” and you both agreed to get back together when the time would permit. truth is, that won’t be happening anytime soon.

genre: angst. no fluff or comfort, we hurt feelings tonight.

a/n: writing is an outlet, so enjoy hurting over our fav foxy boy.

‘ you guys broke up after he had been neglecting you, claiming he was too busy with exams and graduation approaching.

‘ you did this under the guise of ‘lessening his burdens’ but in reality, you only did it because suna was seriously neglecting the basic needs of your relationship.

‘ it took 2 months of awkward interactions for the actual end of your guys’ relationship comes. it definitely hurt a lot more than the first ‘break’.

*****

“rin, i think we should break up. you’re so busy lately and i know it’s all for good reason but...you’re not keeping your promise.” you spoke, your fingers twitching at the hem of your uniform bottoms.

suna’s eyes widened slightly before returning to their natural state. his eyebrows fell downcast as he sighed and slung his volleyball bag further over his shoulder.

“so, what? we’re done?” suna sighed, seeming almost bored.

“i mean.. do you even care? i’m doing this so you can get your shit together and we can be happy again.” you scoff, unable to believe that the same suna who promised to always find a way to keep you happy and grow to be your ‘perfect boyfriend’ could seem so indifferent.

“of course i care. what do you expect me to say, i won’t argue with you.” he says, his eyes looking away. unable to face you or look you into your eyes.

“rin...we’ll talk later. i love you too much for us to end on bad terms, i’m leaving you alone.” you spoke, giving one more sad glance before turning on your heels and walking off towards your station.

*****

two months had passed since that day. during that time, you and suna only kept up simple conversations of checking in on each other. sometimes bringing up the break up and discussing where your feelings stood for each other.

you were very obviously still in love with him but you were going to stand your ground, if you two were going to get back together, it would be on suna’s terms.

suna, on the other hand, very clearly was keeping himself ridiculously busy so he couldn’t focus on you. it drove you crazy but you continued to tell yourself, this was for the best for both of you and for the sake of strengthening your relationship.

it wasn’t until the traditional third year picnic, a month before graduation, that the realization that you and rintarou wouldn’t be getting back together.

you walked in and immediately made your way towards osamu who welcomed you with open arms as you started up some friendly chatter. when suna arrived, osamu glanced worriedly at you.

“are you sure this won’t be awkward y/n?” osamu questioned as suna stopped to greet atsumu and some of the other third years.

“it’ll be fine, we’re on good terms.” you smiled softly, hope ringing in your ears as you remembered your last conversation with suna.

“i love you but now isn’t time yet, maybe later” read suna’s text to you. ever since that text, you were hopeful.

those hopes were crushed when suna greeted osamu with a side hug and his bright smile and you got an awkward wave before he shuffled away. the entire picnic consisted of suna speaking to everyone except you, which was odd considering he was closest with you and the twins, yet he seemed to be speaking to everyone else, excluding you.

your mood was dampened but it was your last third year event and you refused to spoil it for yourself. you continued to tell yourself suna was just trying to step out of his comfort zone since it was the last time all the third years would be together before graduation. that was until, you saw some girl wrapped around his arm, giggling at something he had said.

osamu noticed and his eyes immediately went to yours. you caught sight of his nervous gaze and immediately plastered on an emergency grin, hoping to avoid the pity and the comfort.

as people start to leave, you immediately begin packing up. the whole event was draining for you. you began saying goodbye to the twins, giving them both big hugs and wishing them well on their exams. when you approached suna, his grin immediately fizzled into a straight line with a slight twitch.

“bye rintarou, good luck on your exams.” you speak, a small smile gracing your features. the same smile that you reserved specifically for him. you began reaching your arms out for a hug when suna grimaced slightly.

“ah..bye y/n. same to you.” he spoke, polite smile on his face as he pat your back, unallowing you to wrap your arms around him. he quickly removed his hands and began waving.

you felt the tears begin to well in your eyes, you held back and spoke.

“i think we should just forget about each other...it was nice and our love was amazing...while it lasted. i wish you the best, suna.” you spoke, voice wobbling slightly before you spun on your heels and exited the park. leaving suna speechless as he watched you walk off.

you calling him by his given name really solidified the end of you and suna’s relationship. you were tired of being stuck in the gray area of being in love and having hope and being sad over loosing something that wasn’t even yours anymore. so, as you walked away, tears in your eyes. your chest began to burn, the pain of ending it came too soon. you almost wanted to go back and revoke your words but you knew that this was truly for the best.

#Suna Rintarou #suna x reader #suna x y/n #suna oneshot #suna rintaro angst #suna rintaro fic #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu angst #angst #milaniworks

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hihello-pinky · 1 year

Text

Sight (2)

Suna Rintarou x F! Reader

Sometimes, it takes losing someone to finally see them. He wished he knew this before, but Rintarou had to learn this the hard way.

WARNINGS: mentions of abortion, mentions of miscarriage (NO SMUT IN THIS PART!)

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This is no way represents my views of the original anime/manga characters.

WC: 3.3k Genre: Angst, Romance, Hurt/Comfort Other Tags: Forced Marriage, Developing Relationship, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Repressed, References to Illness, Angst with a Happy Ending, + more to be added.

I know I mentioned I’m working on having a longer part 2 but I kinda like where this ended. Thank you all for waiting and for the love and support!!!

part one part two part three part ???

leave me love?

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Looking back to it, everything happened so fast. As soon as your friends forced Suna’s name out of your mouth after they found out you’re pregnant, they pulled all their connections to get the two of you to meet... Only for him to question the fatherhood of your child. That’s when you first met Osamu Miya. You did not know back then that he was Rintarou’s best friend and as devastated as you were, you spilled your problems to him.

That’s how you found yourself next in the most stressful weeks of your life. Mr. and Mrs. Suna telling you that you are to wed their son. Rintarou telling you that you should get an abortion. And several nosy people telling you that you are a whore who got herself pregnant to get into the rich Suna family.

You tried to refuse the marriage, telling the couple (who, unlike their son, were the sweetest people you’ve met) that there’s no need for a marriage, you just need support to raise your child. They of course wouldn’t have it, and you knew it’s partly because they wanted to punish their son. You admittedly entertained the thoughts of getting an abortion but you just couldn’t do it... not after watching your sister struggle with multiple miscarriages in the past. And with the people spreading malicious things about you... you tried to ignore them, until a few days before the marriage where the gossips suddenly stopped.

Marrying Suna Rintarou brought a lot of changes in your life. First of all, you had to forego the post-graduate internship that was offered to you at the end of your senior year. Second, you had to move to a house gifted by his parents, which caused a rift between you and your sisters since you initially promised them that you’d be living with and helping them. And lastly, you had to live with Rintarou, who explicitly lets you know that he blames you for the forced marriage.

Another surge of headache breaks you out of your reverie. You straighten on your seat in the hospital lobby, waiting for the doctor’s secretary to call you. You had dropped off the kids at Sacha’s place right after confirming with the receptionist that there’s an available slot for a check-up. Last night, right after Rin left, you had a terrible headache, much the same as the ones you’ve been having for the past few weeks.

You look at the queuing monitor and notice that there are still a handful of people before your turn. You open your bag to get your Kindle but it grazes the leather bind of your journal. You must have taken it with you when you took your reading device from the bedside drawer. And just as you’re always inclined to do, you flip to the already dog-eared pages and read through your journal entries from years ago. It’s time to relive the memories.

You were in your fourteenth week of pregnancy. The new house’s backyard was as empty as you felt for the last two months of living with your new husband. He would wake up early and arrive home late. Thankfully, you have managed to befriend the housekeepers, Yuto and Jiri. It was one evening, though, that neither of them was home since the former was on leave while the latter was sick.

The clock struck ten and the main door opened, revealing Rintarou who looked visibly unwell. You rushed to him and he tried to swat you away, only for you to feel how his skin was burning. He must have been feeling too sick because after two more attempts, he finally let you help him into his bed.

That night, you nursed him to the best of your abilities, from changing his clothes to wiping his face with cold cloth. You even cooked soup for him, feeding him as his hands were shaking too much. As you were about to leave his room so you could go back to the spare one where you have been staying since you two moved in, his rough voice stopped you. “Stay.”

Your eyes widened, unsure if you heard him right. “Are you...?”

He groaned. “Or call Jiri. I need her.”

“She’s sick,” you replied. “I’ll just stay... if that’s okay with you?”

He was quiet for a while. “Okay.”

That night, you ended up staying with Rintarou, sitting beside his bed and barely getting any sleep. It went on for two more days. When you woke up on the fourth morning, you were surprised to find a blanket on top of you, much less feel the softness of a mattress below you.

You jolted awake and was surprised to see Rintarou sitting up with his back leaning against the bedframe and talking to someone on the phone. “Thanks, Kita. Yes, I’m feeling better. I’ll be back in the office tomorrow.” He must have noticed you staring at him for he turned his head towards you, the look on his face unreadable. “Call me when something urgent comes up. I have to go.” After dropping the call, he moved to stand up.

“Are you okay?” You asked before you could stop yourself.

“Weren’t you eavesdropping?” He shot back. “I’m feeling better. Jiri’s coming in today by the way, no need to make your pathetic attempts of forcing yourself into my business.” Suna didn’t even spare you a glance before he marched off to his bathroom.

Despite the two months of living with him, his actions towards you still managed to hurt. You gulped and moved to stand up from the bed, knowing too well that Suna would want nothing but to see his room void of you once he comes back.

Two days later, you found yourself with a flu. You begged Jiri not to tell Suna or his parents. But alas, you should have known better that while she had become your friend, her loyalty was still with the Suna family.

On the third night of your flu, you heard a knock on your door. It was odd since it was way past Jiri’s and Yuto’s hours of duty. Sighing, you forced yourself from your bed, wrapping the fluffy blanket around your body.

I must be delirious, was your first thought as you saw Suna at the other side of the door.

“Did something happen?” You asked, trying to hold back a cough, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

He looked every bit uncomfortable as he handed you a paper bag. “Here.”

You reluctantly received it and peeked inside. Care package. You looked up at him questioningly. “What’s this for?”

He broke the eye contact and mumbled something.

“Sorry? What did you say?”

He let out an annoyed sigh and forced himself to look at you eye to eye. “Jiri told me you were sick and that you probably got it from me. She scolded me that I shouldn’t have asked you to stay in the same room because it’s risky for pregnant people.” His eyebrows furrowed. “What are you smiling about?”

“Nothing,” you replied but you knew your smile was still on your face. “You didn’t have to go out of the way to give me this, you know.”

“Then what the fuck was I supposed to do? Jiri would have never let me hear the end of it.”

“Hmm... could have just said ‘sorry’, maybe?”

Suna rolled his eyes and opened his hand, palm up. “Forget it, then. Give that back.”

You clutched the care package against your chest. “No way! No taking back, this is mine already!” Before you knew it, a giggle escaped your lips. You immediately froze, realizing it was Suna you were talking to. However, when you dared to look at him, there’s a barely noticeable hint of a smile on his lips, the atmosphere between the two of you warm. “Good night, Y/N.”

It’s only when the sound of his footsteps have receded that you realized what happened: he just called you by your first name.

“Mrs. Y/N Suna?” The secretary’s voice brings you back to the present. “Please enter room 125.”

You gather your things and make your way into your doctor’s office. She greets you with a warm smile. “How are you doing, Y/N?” The doctor asks as soon as you’ve settled down on your seat. “You haven’t visited in a while.” Megumi Hirai is a nice lady who’s in her early forties and you’ve taken a liking to her in the past few years. “I take it you’ve been busy?”

You nod. “It was the kids’ birthday party yesterday. There was a lot of preparation that needed to be done.”

“Oh, that’s nice. How old are they now?”

“Five,” you smile proudly. “I feel like they’re growing up too fast. I want them to stay little for just a little bit longer.”

At that, Dr. Hirai laughs. “Every parent experience that. I see no reason for you to worry though, you’re still young. Isn’t it about time that you and Rintarou try for another child?”

The smile on your lips drops a little. “We’re too busy for that this time, I think.”

Sensing that you want to change the subject, Dr. Hirai moves on to another topic. “How’s work going?”

“Great,” you reply. “A bit stressful, but it’s all good.” Despite the Suna family saying there’s no need for you to work, you still got yourself a job at a local publishing company. You’ve been loyal to it, and now you’re one of the head editors.

You’ve always been passionate about writing and editing; you could say you were depressed when you had to let go of the internship at the global publishing company because of the sudden pregnancy. The memories of you sharing that to Rin and him reluctantly helping you find a job poke at your head.

You will yourself to stay at the present. “I’m still happy with my job.”

“That’s nice to hear.” Dr. Hirai smiles. “What’s your concern, then?”

“I’ve been having these extreme headaches for the past few weeks. Sometimes they last long, sometimes they pass quickly. The other night, I think I passed out.”

The doctor hums. “Any other symptoms?”

“Um, I can’t think of any…”

“Have you noticed any trend on the times when they surge?”

You shake your head no. “Not really. I honestly don’t think it’s serious but they’ve been becoming more frequent lately.”

“Okay.” Dr. Hirai says, pulling out some papers. “I’ll be requesting for you to undergo some tests. Have them done as soon as possible so you can schedule another checkup with me.”

“Thank you, doctor.” You take the request forms.

“You’re welcome,” Dr. Hirai smiles kindly. “And Mrs. Suna?”

“Yes?“

“Don’t downplay the headaches you’re experiencing. You never know if they’re actually underlying symptoms of something serious. Have a nice day.”

--------

“I’m sorry to be saying this, but you don’t look too well.” Osamu Miya is placing the take-out rice balls you had just bought in the paper bags as he alternately looks between his task at hand and you, who’s sitting at the counter.

You had decided to drop by his restaurant before picking up the kids from Sacha. His statement makes you bite your lip. “Is it that obvious?”

“That you look like you had no sleep and cried your eyes out for hours?” Osamu asks in reply, then takes a deep breath. “Yes.” The gray-haired man shakes his head. “Rin is so fucking stupid. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize on behalf of him, Osamu,” you say. “He’s your best friend but his actions are all his own choices.”

The twin keeps quiet for a while as he finishes packing your order. In the meantime, you rub your fingers against your temple, symptoms of a headache beginning to manifest again. You close your eyes, hoping it goes away. Once you open them, you see Osamu staring intently at you. “I have a confession to make,” he says.

This piques your interest and you lean a little bit forward. “What is it?”

“It’s all my fault,” Osamu says, gulping. “After that first night we met, I went to Rin’s parents and told them what happened. He initially confided in me that he got someone pregnant and I wasn’t planning on getting involved until I met you. You were nice and kind, I couldn’t let Rintarou to just fuck up your life.

“I thought once he gets married, once he gets to know you... he’d grow and change. But I was wrong.” His eyes are now filled with guilt and apology. “I’m sorry, Y/N. If I had known that Rin wouldn’t change one bit during the past five years – ”

“Stop,” you cut him off, no longer wanting to hear more. “That’s all in the past now.” You contemplate your next words carefully. “Besides, it’s not like Rin was completely horrible to me during the time we’ve been together.”

Osamu’s voice is filled with curiosity. “What do you mean?”

It’s at that exact moment that the door of the restaurant swings opens and someone enters, your heart dropping once you see who it is.

Suna Rintarou. Your husband.

-------

Suna hasn’t seen you since the night before and he definitely wasn’t expecting to see you here at Osamu’s restaurant. Once you face him, he immediately notices the redness of your eyes that your makeup wasn’t able to cover. He chooses not to think about the reason behind them.

“Hey, Rin,” his friend waves at him from behind the counter. “Y/N is here.”

He rolls his eyes as he stalks toward the counter. “I’m not blind, ‘Samu.” He takes the stool next to yours and immediately notices you tense. He inwardly sighs, remembering what happened last night. He turns to face you and gets a little surprised when he sees you gathering your purse and the paper bag from the counter.

“I have to go. Bye, Osamu! Thank you for these!” And in a moment, you’re out the door.

As soon as you’re gone, he feels his best friend’s curious eyes on him. “What? Gonna ask me to go run after her?”

Osamu rolls his eyes. “As if you would.”

While his friend is right, the statement still annoys Suna. “Why was she here, anyway?”

“As if you care.”

He tries to mask his annoyance as he clenches his jaw. “You’re, right. I don’t.”

There’s a beat of silence before Osamu speaks again. “Why are you here, Rin?”

Truth be told, Suna’s agenda was to force Osamu to join him on a night of drinking where he may or may not tell him about what happened last night. But seeing you here... and then Osamu’s rather irritating replies... “Forget it, I’m leaving.”

“Did you and Y/N fight?” His friend’s question makes him stiffen.

Suna rolls his eyes. “We often argue. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Osamu replies rather curtly. “But this time, it seems as if you’ve crossed the line.”

To his own surprise, Suna replies with, “Yeah, I think so.”

He doesn’t need to look at his friend’s face to see the surprise on it. “Wow, that’s a lot... coming from you. What happened? Please don’t tell me you hit her.”

He glares at the man. “I’m an asshole but I would never lay a hand on a woman, even if I hate her.”

“Why do you hate her, Rin?” Osamu asks. “What has she ever done to you? You still have your job and inheritance; you can still fuck around... I know she doesn’t demand much from you about the kids. In fact, she got the short end of the stick. Why do you hate Y/N?”

Instead of answering his friend’s questions, Rin adjusts his position on the stool and makes a fist against the counter. “She confessed to me last night.”

“And what did you say?” Osamu’s voice begins to become unreadable.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

Suna shrugs. “We were having an argument so I figured she was just trying to fuck with my head.”

There’s a short silence that follows but it’s long enough to make him feel uncomfortable.

“Are you really that blind?” Suna prefers it if his best friend is shouting at him at the moment. But alas, Osamu sounds so calm and everyone knows that Osamu Miya is ten times scarier when he’s acting calm during moments that would call for him to be mad.

“What do you want to hear as my answer?” Does Osamu want him to admit that all these years, he thought your hurt towards his treatment was solely because you wanted to have a happy little family? That he didn’t think you actually fell for him in those few months that you were in good terms? But, admitting those would mean he needs to tell Osamu about that time, those five months where he opened his heart to you. Those five months that he never dared tell anyone.

“Jesus Fucking Christ, Suna!” Osamu slams a hand against the counter, anger and frustration evident in his voice. “Anyone with an eye can see that Y/N is in love with you! Though it remains a mystery to me how she managed to fall for a dickhead like you, it’s clear that she loves you!”

Other explicit things leave Osamu’s mouth and Suna just stays there and takes them all. Once his friend is only heaving deep breaths, he begins to talk. His turn. “You asked why I hate her. Well, my answer is short.” He mentally sighs and, finally deciding it’s due time for Osamu to know, says the name that haunts him to this day.

Osamu’s eyes widen. “You mean...?”

“Yeah.”

He watches as a conflicted look dawns on his friend’s face. “Do you understand me now?”

“Kind of.” His friend’s gaze hardens a bit. “But you do know you’re being unfair to Y/N, right?”

Suna stands from the seat, retrieving the cigarette box from his pocket. “I know.” As he walks the short distance from Osamu’s restaurant to his car, all Suna can think about is, And I think maybe it’s about time I should apologize to her.

------

You’re inside the bedroom, just finishing up changing the sheets. Ever since Jiri left three years ago and you and Rintarou never hired someone new, you’ve been in charge of keeping the house tidy. In reality, you just had changed the sheets a week prior but what happened four nights ago just makes you want to change them, hoping that as they come clean, so does your relationship with Rintarou.

It’s been three days since the fight and oddly enough, Rintarou comes home on time and even doesn’t complain about sharing the bed. He barely acts as if you exist, cementing your belief that confessing to him was a totally wrong move. However, there are times when you feel him staring at you, as if he wants to tell you something...

You shake your head, reminding yourself that there are lots of things to do. First of all, the test results that you got yesterday after having the necessary check-ups from the day before. Second, the papers you have requested after a long call that you had last night.

You’re too engrossed in your thoughts that you fail to notice that Rin has entered your room. He’s wearing his work clothes which always make him look ten times more attractive. You straighten on the bed and try to look at his eyes. To your surprise, he meets your gaze. “We need to talk.” You both say at the same time.

You bite your lower lip, and seeing as he’s not saying anything, you take it as a cue that he’s allowing you to speak first. So, with a deep breath, you say the words you’ve been practicing in the shower this morning. “I want to file for divorce.”

TO BE CONTINUED.

635 notes · View notes

okkotsuus · 1 year

Text

break my heart again (rin i.) !

features: rin i.

contents: sae and rin's past spoilers. string language. childhood friends to lovers. angst. hurt no comfort. fluff at the beginning. crying. lowk the one that got away. 3.2k words.

pt.2

you knew your time with itoshi rin was limited. but, for him, you’d take the pain again and again just to see his turquoise eyes.

professional athletes are infamous for trouble with relationships. whether it’s cheating, publicity, or just flat out being too busy. but you couldn’t help it. you were unable to allow your logical mind to resist the charm of rin.

you first meet him during one of his brother’s soccer matches, back when the both of you weren’t tall enough to see without standing on the bleachers. his chubby face turned to you when you stood next to him, you swear that was the moment that you first fell in love with him.

at the tender age of seven, your heart was already claimed by rin itoshi. it would stay that way for the rest of your life, no matter how many times he would throw it aside: it had always been his and his alone.

you just smiled at him, watching as his sparkly eyes widened, his pale cheeks flushing. he looked away, a pout on his tender face. “who’s your favorite?” the question he asked had your grin widening, excited to blab mindlessly (as seven year olds do).

“number eleven! he’s so cool, i think he’ll be the best in the whole world one day!” that was the moment rin itoshi noticed you, the moment that set everything into motion.

he was so excited as he began to talk about him, number eleven: his beloved older brother. “isn’t he?? he’s my older brother, and he will become the best in the whole-wide world!” his eyes sparkled like gems while the both of you began to chatter, commenting on every single thing that happened in the game. you cheered whenever sae scored, jumping on the bleachers beside each other. this was when rin claims he fell in love with you.

when the game had ended, rin held your hand in his as he led you to the sidelines. you looked down at your interconnected hands, cheeks heating up. the smile on your face was a lot more pure now, genuine in its whole.

“big brother, big brother! you’re so cool !!” sae turned to look at rin, then his eyes flickered over to you, making you slide behind the younger boy’s back. you couldn’t tell if it was shyness from meeting your favorite local player, or if it was from meeting the most important person to the boy who was still holding your hand.

“thank you, rin. who’s your friend here?” sae was now looking dead at you with a muffled curiosity in his eyes. rin didn’t get along with most people, he was quiet and tended to avoid kids his age; favoring his brother and kids sae’s age. but here he was holding your hand, while your face was hidden in his back. sae also did not fail to muss the rosy hues on his younger brother’s chubby cheeks.

“this is y/n! they’re a fan ‘f yours too, they’re so awesome aren’t they?” rin pulled you from behind him resting his hands on your shoulders as he presented you like a prize. your eyes widened as you were forced to meet the gaze of the older boy, weakly waving. you began to stutter out a greeting but stopped yourself, not wanting to risk embarrassment. your little hands reached down to fiddle with the end of your shirt as heat crept up the back of your neck in anxiety.

what if sae didn’t like you? what if he thought you were just some lame little kid? what if that made rin hate you?

your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by the boy with light red hair, he placed a hand on your head and gently ruffled your hair. your eyes gleamed as you looked up at him, watching as he turned to rin, whispering about something.

suddenly, rin let out a shout as his face went bright red, sae looking at him with a smug grin. at the time, you had no clue what was going on. but now, you know it was sae helping push along the future, unintentionally.

“y/n, you wanna come over for dinner?” sae said it so nonchalantly while rin was off to the side with his face buried in his palms. you couldn’t help but nod, not a word slipping past your lips. maybe you were still starstruck, but more likely it was due to the flushed boy who walked beside you while taking you hand in his.

ever since, you and rin were inseparable. you were there just about every moment he could recall in his childhood, the same could be said for you with him.

when rin too began to play soccer, you were with him all the way. whether it be helping him practice, bringing him snacks when he stayed out a little too late, and cheering him on. it wasn’t as fun without rin holding your hand when you watched the game, but you didn’t care. he was so happy playing with his brother that any sadness melted away.

and when sae left to pursue his career in spain, you were right next to rin. you cried with him, crystalline tears dripped down your cheeks while you cupped his face to wipe his.

“y/n, promise you’ll never leave me.” his hands reached to hold your shoulders, so he could look at you. tears unshed laid along his waterline, kept in by his long lashes. his eyes were like polished gemstones.

“not for the world, rinnie!” your mouth displayed a wobbly grin as your palms still rested against his cheeks. on this day, when you and rin were reaching towards twelve years old: was the first time he told you he loved you.

“i love you, so never go, okay?” you were sure you had the most dumbstruck look on your face then, tears welling again; this time in happiness. the wobbly grin became a beaming smile as your hands left his face, opting to wrap your arms around his neck instead. the sudden weight imbalance sent rin tumbling to the ground beneath you, but you didn’t care. his arms wound around your back as his face buried in your neck.

“i love you too rinnie!” this time, him holding your hand as he dragged you around had a lot more meaning. watching him play soccer had a lot more meaning. his turquoise eyes held a lot more meaning.

two years later, rin played in the finals for his prefectural soccer tournament. the score was currently 2-1, in his team's favor. rin was racing towards the goal, ball in his possession. he effortlessly dribbled around defender after defender.

despite his teammates practically begging for him to pass, rin would not, he didn’t need to. ever since sae had left, rin became his replacement. playing the soccer of two brothers alone, and pulling it off nearly seamlessly.

if it was up to rin, he didn’t need a team. he would only ever truly play with one person: his brother.

rin bluffed a shot, grinning as the goalie jumped for a ball that wasn’t there. he reeled his leg back and fired like a cannon, the ball sinking deep into the center of the net.

the crowd went wild, everyone cheered as the game ended, rin’s team won 3-1, all goals being scored by him. cameras flashed, rin’s face split in a bright grin as he shouted, being swamped by his teammates. rin ran past them to the sidelines, where you stood, waiting with nothing but pure admiration in your eyes.

he wiped his face with his sleeve as he came to a stop in front of you, heavy breaths fanning across your face. you cupped his face and smiled, feeling the warmth of his skin against your fingertips.

“good job rinnie, ‘m so proud of you.”

rin’s eyes widened as a flush overtook his face, one from something other than exertion. his eyes softened as one of his hands cupped your own cheek, smiling softly as you leaned into his touch; like how a flower leans towards the light.

“love you, so so much…” rin’s gaze had your heart filled with butterflies, your face growing hot as you mumbled out a soft ‘love you too’.

his face inched closer, none brushing against yours. your hands slipped off his cheeks to rest against his chest: which rose and fell rapidly beneath his jersey. he stilled, breath fanning against your lips as his eyes studied your face.

when you and rin were just fourteen years old, he kissed you for the very first time.

“jus’ kiss me already rin…”

he did so, pressing his lips softly against yours as your eyes fluttered shut. his hand felt the warmth that seeped from your cheek, he was so close you could feel his lashes flutter against your skin.

when you two separated, you ignored the flashing and clicking of camera shutters. the shouts of the crowd and the teases of his teammates fell on deaf ears. all you knew was rin itoshi at that moment, and all he knew was y/n l/n.

but your time with itoshi rin was limited, and yet again, things were set in motion by itoshi sae.

two more years later, you sit against the turf as rin shoots off some strikes. the fake grass slid between your fingers as you babbled about how cool his game-winning goal was that day.

snow began to gently fall from the sky, you shivered and watched as your breath fanned in front of you.

as rin shot again, you noticed the man that stood behind the two of you. sae.

“wasn't that shot a bit shoddy?” sae came into view as a shiver crawled up your spine, he looked so dead. rin spun around with a smile to greet his brother, only to pause for the same reason.

you rose to your feet to stand beside rin, your hand clasping his. you didn’t know what had happened, but you could tell that something was incredibly off with sae. what had happened in spain?

the brothers began to idly chat, but your unease just grew with every word that came out of the older itoshi’s mouth.

“instead of becoming the best striker, i will become the best midfielder in the world.” rin’s eyes went blank as his hand tightened around yours, his being shook for a moment. you felt your brows furrow as you stared at sae, confused.

“huh… what’re you? you’re a striker right? what’s the point of becoming the best at something other than that..?” rin’s breath fanned in plumes in front of him, sweat dripping down the side of his cheeks despite the biting cold.

“..shut up. you’re only saying that because you don’t know the world.”

rin’s teeth grit as his jaw ticked. he let go of your hand, letting it fall; cold nipping as soon as it left his own gloved one. his eyes were wide in shock, you felt your lips purse as you watched the contortion of his pained expression.

“what the hell… don’t just decide on your own like that! you sae we were going to fight together, right…? you told me to become the best after you!”

you didn’t hear what sae had answered, too focused on the heartbreak that displayed in those turquoise eyes you loved so deeply.

“i don’t want that! i’m the younger brother of the world’s best striker!” rin shouted, he poured his heart out to sae’s cold gaze.

the flurried snow began to feel a lot colder.

“did you come back here to spout those pathetic things?! i didn’t want to see you like this! you…”

“rinnie, stop.” you tugged on his sleeve, but he didn’t notice. you knew he was about to say something he’d regret. something that would ruin their relationship. sae was the most important person in rin’s life, this you knew.

“you’re not the same brother… i shared a dream with !!” sae’s eyes had some life returned to them for the briefest moment. for the smallest moment you saw regret in those cold eyes, but then it was all gone.

“how lukewarm.” you stepped back as sae took a ball, feeling tears well in your eyes.

you had known the itoshi brothers for the last eight years of your life. never once did they fight, sure they argued and bantered, but this was a falling-out. this was a family matter, one you did not dare to intervene in, lest you make it worse. you had stopped listening, only tuning back in now.

“but if i win… your and my dream ends right here.”

rin’s gaze hardened at the acclaim that his brother made. “what the heck? our dream will be over if i lose? you can’t just decide that on your own, big brother…”

“that’s why, all you have to do is win, and then i’ll believe in it again.”

“don’t joke around! that’s…”

“let’s go rin.”

sae’s eyes were dead, you wondered when the light in him had died. but as he charged forwards you knew that rin would be overcome. in a way, there was no way he could win. rin respected sae far too much to truly be able to fight against him. even though he said that this wasn’t the same sae earlier, in his heart he was still his beloved big brother. and in his heart, his beloved big brother is the best striker in the whole-wide world.

“rin, in the four years i’ve been away, what have you been doing here?” your eyes widened as just like that the ball was secured deep into the net, rin now on his knees.

“wait… big brother. after you went away i… i did my best… to become the best in japan/// and then get scouted like you did.”

you sunk down next to rin, not touching him. you sat and listened as he desperately begged for sae to reconsider. your cheeks were wet as you watched the despondency of the boy you had loved since the tender age of eight.

“then fucking quit. you’re lukewarm. did you want me to console you or something? dumbass.”

your mouth fell open as sae looked down at rin like he was scum on the bottom of his shoe. the ringing in your ears loudened, only able to hear your rapid heartbeat as you watched your childhood idol tear into the one person you loved in this world, like it was nothing.

“but to me, you’re just an eyesore of an annoying younger brother. and you’re wasting your time with y/n, they’ll hold you back from your dreams.” now, your tears were flowing freely down your cheeks as he looked at you too with such disgust.

this pain that curled in the core of your being was nothing compared to the heart-shattering grief that coursed through rin’s veins as he watched his beloved big brother walk away; suitcase in tow.

“get lost rin. you’re not necessary in my life anymore.”

“big… brother…”

rin’s lip wobbled as he just at there, staring down at the ground. tears began to fall down his cheeks as you sniffled next to him. maybe sae was right, you probably were a waste of rin’s time.

you and rin went back to his house, sitting silently on his bed as the tv displayed sae. he clicked it off immediately, bringing his knees closer to his chest.

suddenly he began to tear apart his room, destroying every trophy and picture of him and sae. you just watched blankly, not wanting to overstep. he was so incredibly angry and you couldn’t blame him. his teeth grit as he stared ahead with such pure, undistilled rage that it made you fearful.

rin itoshi was never the same after his brother broke his heart.

soon, he received a letter in the mail, for some sort of training camp called blue lock. you knew he was going, without hesitation.

“congratulations, rinnie.” his eyes flickered to you, that turquoise that you had loved for eight years now were hollow. eerily similar to sae’s on the day that he broke his younger brother. rin was never the same.

“it’s expected, this place better not be lukewarm.”

“i’ll miss ya, y’know”

he didn’t answer, just clicking his tongue as looking away. that was the first time that itoshi rin broke your heart. at the age of sixteen, he left you too, despite making you swear that you wouldn’t leave him.

not much longer later, rin itoshi broke your heart for a second time, after the match between blue lock and the japanese u-20 team. after the game, you went to see him in the locker rooms. you came in and saw him sitting silently with a towel over his head.

when you sat beside him, he didn’t acknowledge you. you silently rested your head on his shoulder, just happy to be near him after being apart for so long.

“you did great, ‘m so proud of you rinnie.”

“you’re lukewarm, don’t give me worthless praise for a shoddy performance. even now… i couldn’t beat him.”

your eyes widened, feeling tears begin to well up in your eyes. you blinked them away, knowing that he was hurting. you sighed and remained next to him. you knew that he didn’t mean it.

rin was freed from blue lock for two weeks after that, of which; you only saw him once. that was the third and final time rin itoshi broke your heart.

you invited him to come to a cafe with you, wanting just to see him. he agreed, now sitting in front of you while you talked about something that you forgot. you didn’t remember much about what had happened prior, only the pain you felt.

“let’s break up,” his words were so sudden, taking you completely off guard.

“w-what… rin, what?”

“you’re holding me back, i need to leave you to progress in soccer.”

in that moment, you were drawn back to the day that sae broke rin’s heart, the day he said words that were echoing now in your mind. tears flowed freely down your cheeks as rin stood and left.

now you know the pain rin felt that day, when his world died. but unlike him, you weren’t angry. you had come to peace with this future when sae uttered it, knowing that one day it would become an inevitable truth.

because rin itoshi was always following in his beloved big brother’s footsteps, even if he knew it or not.

okkotsuus 23

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