#anyway i get why people wanted away - i don't live there for several reasons - but i wish it was different. i wish i could move back.

[aceofthegreenajah]

Thinking about Mountains of Mourning got me rereading it again for the millionth time. Every time I think, 'surely by now it has no hold of me? I know every turn it takes, can damn near recite parts of it.' And here I am, sobbing.

The story itself is beautiful, the language is gorgeous, but there is also something in the setting that speaks to me personally.

Our family farm is in a community smaller than silvy vale, and has been in the family for at least a couple of centuries. It's in the least populated and most backwater part of the country. And my country itself is small and insignificant, sparsely populated, mostly wilderness. In the eyes of some we may be backwater forest folk, tough as our land and just as stuck in our ways.

And I am a very tied-to-the-earth person. I am at home barefoot in the forest, fishing in the lakes, foraging in the swamps, working with animals, chopping wood. These forests are my forests, this land is my land. I was born on it and if I have to be buried, I want to be buried in it. I've never wanted to leave for better pastures. I've wished I could hold my home and my people up.

So though I cry for the beauty of the language and the message, and the grief of the plot, I also cry for the happy ending that Silvy Vale receives.

#Ah I miss our family land #I remember staying there for months as a kid and never once seeing an outsider #the community has been bleeding out people longer than i've been alive #when my mom was a kid there was still a school and a general store in the closest town now those are gone too #no-one wants to stay where healthcare may take hours to get to and there are basically no jobs #catching/gathering our own food during summer was what we did when i was a kid because we were poor #(mom and me in spesific not all of the family #but none of them were rich) #but doing it year-around is a shortcut back to starvation times #anyway i get why people wanted away - i don't live there for several reasons - but i wish it was different. i wish i could move back. #i wish there was someone still running our family farm. it's still our land - though some of mom's cousins own it now - but it's abandoned #(it is also a place where once upon a time #hurts and crimes could only be committed by family #and could go unanswered just like in the tiny Dendarii mountain towns. Mom's therapist knows all about it.) #vorkosigan saga #mountains of mourning #mountains of mourning spoilers #vorkosigan saga spoilers #probably

[weird-and-unwell]

“Autism isn’t a disability”, “it’s just a difference”.

I am of lower support needs. I hold down a (part time) job. I have travelled around my home country. I live alone.

At work they complain about my speech. I’m too quiet, they say, “barely audible” is the words used at my autism assessment. My voice is all monotone, and it needs to be more expressive. I get this complaint every week for a year straight, until my manager gives up. I don’t attend trainings because I forget and find it overwhelming anyways. My coworkers form friendships, and I watch them talk, wondering how they make it look so easy. I get a new manager, I tell her I find the work socials too overwhelming to attend. She tells me I can just say I don’t want to come. I don’t know how to tell her that I desperately want to, to be like the rest of my coworkers, instead of constantly being the one sat on the sidelines.

I come home, and I can hear my neighbours again. The niggling background noise messes with my head, and I meltdown; I throw myself on the floor, I hit my head on the ground repeatedly as I scream and cry, tear out my hair and scratch my arms and face. When I complain, people tell me that I just have to accept that neighbours make noise, that I should just ignore it, or block it out. I am the problem, the one overreacting. I put in earplugs and it hurts and I'm crying again. I wear headphones but I can't handle the noise for that long.

I have reminders set for everything. Every chore, no matter how big or small. My phone beeps at me, reminding me that I need to wash the dishes. If I don't go now, then tick the little box on my phone to say I did it, it won't get done. My home is almost always a mess despite this. It's not just chores either. I won't think to wash, dress myself, brush my teeth or hair, without those reminders. And unless someone actively prompts me to do so, I will do those tasks "wrong". I haven't changed my underwear in a month, and I'm currently aware that's a problem, but within the hour I'm going to forget all over again until I'm next prompted.

I can't sleep without medication - it's not unusual for autistic people to have messed up circadian rhythms. Without my medication it's hard to even tell when I'm awake and when I'm asleep. When I was younger and at school I slept through so many lessons, and when I have my mandatory breaks from my sleep meds I sleep through every alarm I set. I want to work full time some day, and I'm terrified of what my sleep issue will mean for me then.

I don't travel independently. I don't travel anywhere alone, always with someone or to someone. If to someone, I have assistance the whole way. I find it embarrassing sometimes. Yes, I have a job that requires a certain level of intelligence. No, I cannot get on a train by myself. If I am not shown To The Train, To My Seat, I will be unable to travel.

Last time I travelled, I was left alone at the station for ten minutes. I stayed rigid and sobbed the whole time. I was overwhelmed. It was too loud, I didn't know where I was or where I was meant to be going, and until the assistance person came back I couldn't do anything because for some reason I cannot understand it.

I spend a lot of time trying to explain to people that despite my relative competence, I am unable to do many things. Why can I understand high level maths but not how to get on a damn train? No fucking idea.

"Autism isn't a disability" most severely affects those with higher support needs, and this is absolutely not to take away from them. But for fucks sake, autism is disabling.

Maybe you personally are extremely lucky and just find you're a little "socially awkward", or just find some textures painful or nauseating. Maybe you would be fine with just a couple of adjustments.

But for a lot of us, even lower support needs autistics, it doesn't work like that. I will never sleep properly without medication. I still have the self-harming type of meltdowns as an adult, over things that are deemed as being "just part of life". I live alone but have daily visits from family - if I'm left fully alone I forget all the little daily things one is "meant" to do. I had speech therapy as a child to get me to the "barely audible" "mostly correct" speech. I don't mask, I'm not really sure how I would to begin with.

I'm not unhappy with being autistic. It's just who I am. Life would be easier if I were neurotypical, but I also wouldn't be me. I just wish those luckier than me could...stop saying it's all chill and not at all a disability.

Because yes, socially, I am "awkward". I obviously don't make eye contact - I stare down and to the side of whoever I speak to. People think it's weird or creepy or a sign of disinterest. My autism assessor wrote down about how I often use words and phrases that don't make sense to others, even though they make perfect sense to me. In my daily life this means I'm frequently misunderstood, and have to try explain what I mean, when what I mean is exactly what I said, and the true issue is that what I mean just doesn't make sense to others. I gesture, at times, but again, my gestures apparently don't make sense in relation to what I'm saying. I take things literally, I have almost no filter, and I can't explain how I go from topic to topic.

And yes, I do have sensory problems. Sometimes people, including others with sensory problems, tell me that "sometimes sensory issues have to be tolerated", and I wonder what they think of as being sensory issues. I'm sure they do struggle, but if I say I can't handle a touch, I mean you will need to forcefully hold it against me for me to touch it more than a second and it will make me meltdown. If I say "I can't eat that", I mean that I am unable to swallow it, that I will gag and choke and inevitably spit it back out, as much as I try. If I say I can't handle a noise, I mean I'm so close to a meltdown and my meltdowns are a problem for everyone around me.

But yes. Autism. Not a disability. Just a fun quirky difference.

#actually autistic #autistic #long post #autism

[slasher-male-wife]

Horror characters taking care of their sick s/o

I'm in my sick Victorian boy era. I'm being dramatic because I have a mild case of the flu. I need to write something to keep myself sane so why not write for some characters I haven't written about for awhile.

Includes: Amanda Young, Adam Faulkner, Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, and Pyramid head

Warnings: Reader is sick, some of these characters aren't super smart, mentions of vomit and medication, vague talk of cannibalism and violence

Amanda Young

Amanda has basic medical knowledge and when she sees you getting sick she's quick to get you to stay in bed and will be a little overbearing. She's been taking care of John for awhile and seeing her partner sick makes her very worried.

She's going to spend any free time she has taking care of you. She knows you're going to be fine but that's not going to stop her from becoming your personal nurse.

She wants to avoid using medication unless a doctor tells her to use them. She thinks because medication isn't working for John that must mean it won't really work for you.

She knows to keep some distance but she's still going to be around you and touch you. She might intentionally spend more time around you then get closer to Hoffman to try and get him sick.

She might talk to Lawrence about what she should be doing and your symptoms. If you know that she's a jigsaw apprentice she'll introduce you to him as her coworker. But if you don't she'll either bribe him into seeing you or just take his advice.

She is reminded of what happened at the gas house and if you're sick enough that you start to throw she'll need to leave the room and probably spend some time to compose herself. I strongly believe that what jigsaw did to her really messed her up but she denies it.

Adam Faulkner

Oh my god if he finds out you're sick I hope you're ready for him to try and help but honestly just make a fool of himself.

You're hopefully not living in his apartment anymore and depending on your temperature and the weather he's going to keep your bedroom window open because "fresh air helps".

He thinks that he doesn't have to keep space from you because you're dating and he probably ends up getting sick himself. But no matter how much you tell him to stay away so he doesn't get sick he won't listen.

While he's out working (probably for jigsaw) he'll leave out medication for you to take, food you can heat up or just eat cold, and probably gives you anything you need to stay entertained.

If you call him for anything he's dropping whatever he's doing to go help you. You have to literally tell him several times that he doesn't have to rush home and you can stay on your own while he works.

He probably doesn't have any insurance just by judging his apartment so unless you absolutely need to see a doctor he's going to be the one taking care of you.

Will Graham

His medical knowledge is better than some people in these head canons but it's still not the best. I feel like if it's anything than a mild case of the cold or the flu he's taking you to a doctor.

Probably looks up if human illnesses can transfer to dogs. Either way he's keeping his dogs away from you until you feel better.

Will not let you out of bed unless you're going to the bathroom. He deals with blood and guts for a living so dealing with someone who's sick is probably a vacation for him.

Will is going to try to keep Hannibal away from you while you're sick for so many reasons. But Hannibal is probably going to end up seeing you anyway because Will is going to cave.

If the weather and your health allows he's going to take you outside for fresh air like you're a consumption patient from 1912. He will let his dogs around you if you're outside.

Will guilt Jack into letting him stay home for a few days to take care of you. He is going to bring up everything Jack has ever done to him. "Hey Jack I need to stay home to take care of my partner. I know you'll let me take it off since you made me work while I had ensyphilitis."

Hannibal Lecter

He's a literal doctor but also a fucking weirdo so be careful. He'll still take good care of you but will also take the time to get into philosophical discussions with you while you're half asleep.

He refuses to give you anything store bought to eat. Will literally make crackers and break from scratch for you to eat. He'll lay off on the human meat until you're better.

Will not allow you to use one of his bowls as a "throw up bowl" You're using the bathroom to do so, he doesn't care if you accidentally vomit on his floors because he can clean the floor, but his bowls are too valuable.

He won't let you spend all day looking at screens. Hannibal will provide you with any kind of entertainment you want to get you off screens for awhile. He will get you whatever books you want or any other low energy activity.

Will insist on keeping your space clean. Will wash your sheets often and insists on giving you a bath, the temperature depending on if you have a fever or not.

He will keep a sort of distance from you but will also be near you. He will take precautions of course but he can't stop himself from spending time in your room, talking with you.

Pyramid head

He has little knowledge of human illnesses, because he's a demi god of sorts he never really gets sick. So when he sees you get cold sweats or start having a bad cough he's confused about why it's happening. '

You'll have to educate him on your condition and tell him what he needs to do to help you. I don't think there's any medication you can take in silent hill but he can probably find you something to help.

He also probably can't get sick so he doesn't have to worry about getting too close to you. If you try to pull away from him to hide your cough or sneeze he'll just pull you back. Even if he did get a cold from you he'd get over it pretty quickly.

He'll honestly want to be pretty touchy all the time even when you're not sick because he's never had human contact before. You'll probably have to explain to him that cuddling isn't the best thing when you have a fever.

He's going to try and get you as comfortable as possible while he's busy doing Pyramid Head stuff. It all depends on your condition and you'll have to explain to him what you need.

He also doesn't really understand germs so you'll have to explain them to him and why you need to keep yourself and your area clean and why you can't just throw up anywhere. After that he'll get you something to use for that then just throw it somewhere.

#amanda young x reader #adam faulkner stanheight x reader #adam faulkner x reader #adam faulkner stanheight x yn #will grahm x reader #will grahm x you #hannibal lecter #hannibal x reader #hannibal nbc #pyramid head x reader #slasher x y/n #slasher x reader #slasher fanfiction

[noroi1000]

HI! I'm the one who asked if your request is open ^^

I'm just want to know how would it be if the mc/reader is the one who defected not suguru. How would both of them react. Thank you so much!

I've been reading you on AO3 and I'm so glad I found your tumblr too!

- 💫

Wild Animal

Summary: You were always their best friend. You were so tiny to them. You could fight; you were a sorcerer. But to make them smile at you again, you took their bad thoughts to make them smile. Instead of letting Suguru kill someone, you did it.

Warnings: mentions of death

You were so close to your friends. You were sometimes cute to them, sometimes funny. Sometimes pretty. Shoko has told you more than once that they like you. But how can a girl who is their friend fight for their hearts? Besides, you could never choose between them.

Even though you were starting to see that they were getting closer to you, much closer than to the others, you didn't want to do anything that would change your current life.

You were so docile to them. Even though you were strong enough with your technique to fight any of them. There's a reason why, when they were grade 1, you were grade 2. And then you were promoted to semi-grade 1. You were getting closer to them. And that was the point. When you are at the same level, you will be just like them!

You won't be weaker, and you won't be stronger.

But you were docile to them. You internally liked the feeling of them smiling at you so softly. And you were docile and sweet.

That's why Satoru said several times that you are like a cat. And Suguru confirmed it. To them, you were so docile.

Docile animals don't attack without reason, right? They won't do anything wrong, right?

After the mission with Riko, you collected their negative emotions for you.

You collected it, making them stop thinking about it.

They told you absolutely everything. Including their inner thoughts about it.

Right after everything that happened, thanks to Satoru, you understood what death is. He told you what it felt like to die. And you could have listened to him and hugged him.

Satoru understood that he was strong and that he had to protect weaker people. He is higher than others. And as someone stronger, he can keep them safe.

He understood something he had previously rejected.

But Suguru...

It was Suguru who knew the role of the sorcerer from the very beginning. That the sorcerer must protect non-sorcerers from curses.

But then... Suguru didn't know what was right or wrong anymore.

You hugged him and calmed him down. You did everything to make him forget about what happened.

You took his negative emotions for you too. You comforted him and told him not to think like that. You convinced him to smile. To live as it was before and not think about what had to happen anyway. He could fight, but someone would still lose his life.

Luckily, it wasn't him who died...

When you managed to see Satoru smile, Suguru wasn't smiling in any way.

„Why do sorcerers have to protect people?”

"Why do we have to protect them even if they are the ones creating the curses?"

„Why can't we eliminate the source of what is killing us?"

„Why can't we erase non-sorcerers?"

The questions that were swirling around in his head also started swirling in yours.

For several months, you did everything you could to convince him.

„You may hate non-sorcerers. But they cannot be completely eliminated. This is not something possible, Suguru.”

You had some important conversations with him. And he smiled at you.

He didn't have to worry as long as there was a ray of light in such a badly damaged Jujutsu society.

Even if Haibara was a clear example of this, you are still with them.

You helped him get out of his madness. You took all those bad thoughts away from him, and that's why he could only think about your funny words.

Not seeing that by taking their honest thoughts, you were destroying yourself from the inside.

If you combine the thoughts of both of them, something will come out that may be a solution for them to never think of such a thing again.

Satoru thought about how many people were dying. He was thinking about whether he should kill the cult members. He watched death, and he killed. He himself died.

After death, you can rise and become someone else.

Satoru, who understood more after death...

And Suguru... He had complete doubts about the lives of non-sorcerers.

Killing them so that only the sorcerers remain... Or forcibly turning them into sorcerers...

You took over their thoughts and started destroying yourself. You couldn't stand it... You couldn't stand what you knew.

You started to have a different view of the world.

Panic attacks that occurred at night. The fact that you were crying while sitting on your bed. You're fighting something made by humans...

People are afraid of disasters or that, at some point, artificial intelligence will eliminate them.

But they don't know that from the very beginning of their existence in the world, they have been creating something even more dangerous. Something that's around every corner and causes death...

People could change. But they are not sorcerers who can die and then rise from the grave.

You wanted to be that docile again. Let them hug you and play with them.

But you couldn't smile.

Witches and humans... It's all black...

There is no whiteness here.

Suguru and Satoru are shades of gray.

You are a black figure in the soul. You had shades of gray, but you agreed to accept all their negative thoughts. That's why you became darker.

You are as afraid of death as anyone else. But they were right.

You killed the first non-sorcerers for no reason. Simply because they cause sorcerers to have to protect them. It is because of people that sorcerers must exist. If it weren't for people, you too would be normal, and you would live a normal life. That's why... You didn't explain yourself to anyone.

Because no one would understand anyway...

Even those whose bad thoughts you turned into yours.

You could have been meek. But docile animals also sometimes attack when they have a reason.

You didn't want them to destroy themselves with what they thought.

So you will destroy yourself for them.

You can't be their girlfriend. You couldn't choose between them. You couldn't fall in love with them because it would destroy the friendship you've had for so many years.

You will destroy yourself so that they don't have to lose what they worked for. Strength, a high place in society, their friendship, and respect.

Everyone works for themselves and for only themselves.

You work for yourself, and you want them to get their dream worlds, at the cost of your life.

Because you agree with them...

What they thought was true.



Curse user?

Why you?

They were frozen when they heard this. You couldn't be a curse user! Not you! Of all the people around, you?!

The knowledge that you, their friend, who could be even closer, is a murderer and a curse user strikes knives in their hearts.

Their hearts were broken when you avoided them. They couldn't even find you. You escaped completely.

Even as special-grade sorcerers, they couldn't find you.

And tears came to their eyes every time they looked at your old photo.

They heard about the murders you committed. But they couldn't do anything.

They couldn't kill you.

But it was inevitable.

When no one could catch you, they were sent to kill a dangerous curse user.

Their docile kitty has changed.

But the sparkle in your eyes when you saw them didn't change.

You wanted to run away as soon as they stood in front of you.

You felt the sudden pressure of their energy pressing against yours.

You heard that they are much stronger now. These three years passed very quickly.

And in order to distract you from what was happening to you, they grew stronger. They trained.

To catch you in one move.

You didn't even feel like fighting. You felt like your body was ready to give up because it knew it had no chance.

Your waist was held in place by a strong forearm, and a large hand appeared over your mouth.

Your wrists were also grabbed.

You looked terrified at Suguru's hands that were holding you.

You jerked your body to try and get free.

They really didn't even move an inch.

"...Our kitty got claws. She's not so docile anymore." Satoru laughed, pulling you closer to his chest.

They can't kill you. They can't capture you and lead you to death.

Unless their superiors are suspicious, they will lie.

They will say they destroyed you on the spot.

In fact, you will just sit quietly at home. As a punishment, with no way out. So that you don't endanger them or you.

Suguru was even grateful to you for showing him what would happen to him if he followed that path. But he would never forgive himself for letting you die because of him.

Non-sorcerers are fools who deserve to die.

Sorcerers are crazy. And everyone has their own morality.

Suguru smiled, leaning slightly toward you.

"Satoru, claws can be trimmed. And a wild animal can be tamed and turned into a docile kitten."

@weebotaku21; @yihona-san06; @mikkies; @raysheil; @dreeamiea; @safaia-47; @porridgesblog; @weebnk-popper; @mc-reborn; @witchbybirth; @starlightanyaaa

#jjk x you #gojo satoru #jjk #gojo x y/n #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen #gojo #jjk x reader #geto suguru #geto x you #geto x y/n #geto x reader

[agronzky]

⠀⠀⠀𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐀 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐏.

⠀⠀⠀Anyone who knows me or has rp with me knows how much I love building ambiguous — or grey, if you prefer — characters or villains. The drama, the chaos, the complex plot… It all makes everything more interesting, especially once you get bored of characters who are exclusively nice, naive and suchlike. Even so, it's a construction that needs to take several factors into account and be very delicately written so it doesn't become a trigger rather than a character.

⠀⠀⠀For this reason, below I've provided some tips on how to create villainous characters for rp, taking into account various traits, setting and also demystifying the fact that not every villain is a soulless monster. Anyway, on to the guide.

Deep and personal motivations.

⠀⠀⠀Convincing villains usually have compelling and understandable motivations, even if their actions are highly questionable. It's the premise of them being right in their quest, but using the wrong means to achieve it and ultimately losing their reason. This brings a sense of humanity and it's even possible to feel connected to what led this person to become a villain. You can truly see how they lost the way.

⠀⠀⠀Another point is the fact that not everyone wants to conquer the world, nor do they have the ambition to have a lot of money or power. Think of plots about revenge, twisted love, the quest for justice or fear. Generally, a character's deepest motivations give them more determination to fulfill their goals because it comes from something much more internal and traumatic. Give them a proper reason and make them lose the way, this is gonna make everything feel real, convincing and interesting to developed.

Moral complexity.

⠀⠀⠀The simple truth is the days of people liking completely cartoonish characters are long gone, and nowadays many people don't like those who are evil simply for the sake of being evil. This is because it's too out of touch with reality. Obviously there are people who are like that in real life, but the vast majority is more complex than this. Humans, in the end, are very complicated and, probably, will never truly understand why we are the way we are.

⠀⠀⠀To get away of this cliché and cartoonish form when creating your character, try to develop moral nuances and internal dilemmas which can explain their actions. Put a small fragment of morality in the character, make them question themselves a few times as to whether they're on the right path… Remember yin yang: there's a little tiny good inside the evil. This tip can be used for any character, when you think about it, but it's very important for those who want to create villains.

Human traits, personality and vulnerabilities.

⠀⠀⠀Like any human being, provide your character with traits unmistakably human, such as fears, insecurities or personal relationships that will impact them, to make them more realistic. Just because someone is doing something morally wrong doesn't mean they've lost all touch with their humanity, especially since not every villain is a psychopath who has no empathy for anyone. It's always very interesting when a character believes they're doing what's right or good for someone else, and this is their motivation. 

⠀⠀⠀Also bring some weaknesses to the character, whether physical, emotional or psychological. This provides room for development and also ways for other characters to access them in a more specific way, either to get to know them better or to retaliate against them at some point.

⠀⠀⠀You know that line "Do you like my personality? I created it especially for you!"? Well, consider how the character behaves and bring in more layers when making the personality. Take into account how they behave in different situations and with different people.

Charisma and a magnetic nature.

⠀⠀⠀The fact is that bad guys aren't unbearable one hundred per cent of the time, they need to know how to live in society and captivate people. So define unique and appealing traits for the character, whether they're genuine or merely a façade. It's always interesting when, within the plot, most people don't know about the evil or wrong side of a character because it gives them more room for development. Maybe make them ashamed of what they're doing and try to hide it as best they can. And just think about real life: do we truly know the people around us?

Connection with other characters.

⠀⠀⠀Nobody lives completely alone since we're in a society and this makes us having connections, for more simple they can be. Thinking about that, create connections with other characters to bring more motivation and drama to your muse, such as an old rivalry, a complicated personal relationship or a surprising connection which generates tension. You can also create connections that actually bring their good side to light, you know? It's also always good to add a certain complexity, to have troubled moments, wounds that haven't healed fully, secrets being revelead, etc.

Questions for creating villains.

What are the character's main motivations?

What is the character's origin story? What led them to become what they are today?

What are the past traumas or events that have shaped their worldview?

How does the character justify their actions morally? Does they believe they are doing the right thing?

What are their weaknesses and vulnerabilities?

How does the character present themselves to the world? Are they masked, manipulative or showy?

What do they want to achieve through their actions?

What are their emotional reactions to obstacles and challenges?

How do they justify their actions to themselves? Is there any sense of internal validation?

How do they relate to the authorities or the law?

How do they see themselves? Do they see themselves as the hero of their own story?

How do they react when their plans fail?

What do they feel when faced with the possibility of redemption or change?

Other small (and important) advice!

Corruption arcs are also super interesting, leading a good character to become bad over time and through traumatic situations. Redemption arcs are also sensational. The point is: nobody was born a villain and nobody has to die a villain.

Leave clues indicating your character before fully revealing your motivations. Also try to leave some motivations completely secret, using them when the plot calls for a surprise. In the best "surprise, bitch!" style.

Think about how environment and culture can influence beliefs and actions.

A villain doesn't have to be a psychopath or murderer. There are arcs of revenge and corruption which can be created without going to such extremes.

It's obvious, but always respect other players and the limits they impose. As I said, a villain isn't always doing evil and being a complete asshole, so make sure you know what kind of approach the other person will prefer.

Always be careful when approaching topics which are triggers and avoid them as much as possible. As I said, it's not necessary to go down this route, but if you do, always keep a firm grounding when writing, because triggers are complex real-life situations that always need to be handled delicately.

The end, for now.

( Be with Morgana, my good girl gone bad ♡ )

#rph #rp help #rp resources #rp writing help #writing resources #writing help #writing advice #writingtips #rp guide

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pretending to lose consciousness and using it as an excuse to drop out of school?

This happened when I was in HS but it's still eating me up. I (18F at the time) suffer from a severe case of IBS, which went undiagnosed for years. During the events of this story, I had no idea what my illness was which I suffered from ever since I was a toddler. My parents took me to several doctor, all who insisted I was perfectly healthy. Every year, the pain would get increasingly worse, and we try a different doctor every once in a while. I gave up seeking medical help during middle school because I was frustrated, the doctors believed I was faking to skip school and refused to write me notes. My parents know I don't lie, yet the doctor's words got to them. They don't exactly think I'm faking, but they think I'm exaggerating a mild stomachache because I wanted to skip school and have no will to fight. I mean, it's true that I have a low tolerance to pain, even getting my hair straightened is a painful experience for me everytime.

Anyway, since IBS tends to attack when someone feels bad, high school was the worst period in my life for numerous reasons but mainly because I was getting severely bullied. Also due to my frustration with doctors, I started believing that my illness was terminal and had yet to be discovered and I was severely depressed thinking my death was soon, which made my IBS worse. When the pain was at its worst, it felt like my belly was being stabbed from the inside by several knives, it leaves me to exhausted to get up from my bed. I always locked my room's door so my parents wouldn't try to drag me out of the bed Whenever I wanted to skip school. Despite at the constant pain I was in, never once did I lose consciousness because of it. Sometimes I wish I could faint so I wouldn't feel the pain for a short a period of time, but it never happened.

In days which pain is manageable, I try my best to go to school, I often attended 2-3 days each week. I specifically insisted on going to this school because it's lenient, unlike the school my parents tried to send me to.

However, just because the pain was manageable, it didn't mean that I was feeling fine. The constant exhaustion from the severe IBS attacks left me tired all the time and I just wanted to lay in my bed again. I spent most of my time at school resting my head on the desk and teachers got used to it, but they drew the line at me actually falling asleep in class.

It happened when I was like 4-5 months away from graduating, I just wanted to rest, I had enough of the pain that I didn't want to set afoot in school again, but my parents wouldn't let me. Eveyrone thinks I'm fine and just exaggerating, that's why, I used my perfect acting skills to drop to the floor while sitting in my chair, I heard everyone whispering about how worrying the way I fell was, that it must be something serious. Classmates kept shaking me for a minute but I didn't react because I wanted it to look real. I eventually pretended to wake up and told them that I couldn't handle it anymore. That period was my Physics final, which I didn't study for, and I didn't want to take it. I have no idea what lessons we took because I never studied or paid attention in class, I was literally at my limit.

I was allowed to rest that day, and when I went back home I told my parents about losing consciousness and that I desperately need to rest. They allowed me to drop out on the condition I go back to school the next year, I agreed, but secretly believed I would never live that long to attend school ever again.

My best friend cried really hard when I told her we wouldn't be graduating together and begged me to reconsider. I told her my illness got worse to the point I started fainting, and I desperately needed to rest.

Of course, I'm still very much alive and learned what's actually wrong with me (I literally self diagnosed myself based on people's experiences on the internet then "confronted" a doctor about it) and the IBS attacks are mild and manageable these days since I know what I need to do to avoid them, I have a full time job and rarely ever need to skip. But the guilt is making me feel like TA for worrying everyone about me and breaking my bff's heart. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[sapphia]

The Right Are Engineering A Recession In NZ

tumblr isn't very good at local news, which is why i tend to get my nz politics information from elsewhere. so i can confidently tell you that aotearoa under national is totally, utterly fucked. like, not just in terms of all the social progress they plan to undo, though they do very much do plan to do all of that.

national+act+nzfirst have committed to a financial policy that makes zero fucking economic sense. you know how every time the economy is in bad shape, tories sieze the good economic opportunity to slash services or give tax cuts to the rich? imagine if that was happening for just no reason at all. there’s no crisis we’re facing this would even marginally help, but that's what nact+nzfs tax cut policy is anyway.

aotearoa is currently in a cost of living crisis, like much of the world, and our inflation is, to give it it's technical term, "sticky". This means that it's not still shooting up the graph like crazy, but it should have started to go down more by now according to predictions, but it hasn't, and is sitting at an unsustainably high level.

Inflation is bad because it eats away at the value of your money (not something you want generally) but this inflation is especially bad because it's inflation we created to ward off a recession back in 2020. NZ had the hardest and fastest lockdowns in the world, but at a huge cost -- our economy basically stopped overnight. Without goods and services being bought and sold, we would have been plunged into a financial crisis. But instead the government borrowed money to fund the wage subsidy and pay workers through the lockdowns, injecting money into and stimulating the economy.

This was a bill that was always going to come back to bite us, and for the past several years, the Labour government and the Reserve Bank had been playing a balacing game with our economy, steering us between a recession and a wage-price inflation spiral, with a recession definitely being the preferable one of the two. We actually had short soft one that we’ve come out of, exactly what Grant Robertson and Adrien Orr were aiming for.

Recessions can be small or big - inflation spirals are usually just big. We wanted to aim for a "soft" landing recession by hiking interests rates just enough to bring inflation back under control. The Reserve Bank uses it's tool - the Official Cash Rate, or the OCR, which basically sets the price of interest rates across the country, and the government also can use it's powers to create monetary policy to help the economy. A lot of the criticism Labour received before losing the election was about overspending in areas post-pandemic, as putting money into the economy through government spend by using debt to fund it genuinely causes inflation.

What a government should do during a time of inflation is remove money from the economy. For example, a right wing government would often issue an austerity policy, where the cut the amount of government spending through slashing programmes, benefits, staff, etc etc. A government could also increase taxes so people have less money to spend, could pay down government debt, could invest the money into a fund (e.g. NZ has a superannuation fund that's designed to be eventually self-funding set up by Labour that National have paused payments on when getting into government). It doesn't matter too much what, theoretically speaking -- the point is to get the money out of the economy.

What you definitely, definitely don't want to do during a period of high and sticky inflation is put more money into the economy. That would do the opposite of what you want. Labour were rightfully (at some points) criticised for their inflationary policies. So you'd think National would take their criticisms of Labour’s debt blowout and start paying it down to show how responsible they are, right? No, they’re cutting taxes for (mostly) the wealthy while offsetting this with austerity measures to make this “fiscally neutral”. They will make up for the inflationary effects of doling out money to landlords by cutting back essential government services, trying to frame it as a personnel and budget blowout (it’s not) and saying Labour mismanaged the books and we are in terrible financial shape (we are not; we have a triple A credit rating).

And further, it’s becoming increasingly hard to ignore our infrastructure crisis at nearly every level and every location. Our water systems needs billions of dollars of investment that our councils can’t afford to borrow, our rates are shooting up (and so will our rents), our ferries are old and broken down and Nicola Willis Minister of Finance just canned the “too expensive” deal that was needed to replace them — with most of the money going to into wharf upgrades that are desperately needed. There was a huge sunk cost; we’re not going to be able to to buy shit now. The ferries link the North and the South Island and are vital infrastructure; when they break down (which they did multiple times last year) it causes chaos and brings things to a standstill.

Why are they doing this? Land. It’s always about fucking land. All of National have divested in shares and have bought into land under the guise of this removing the “conflict of interest” that would exist if they had invested into specific companies. The usual alternative that solves this is a blind trust, but that’s not what most of the caucus has money in. Luxon alone sold about 12 million dollars worth of Air NZ shares and now has a property profile worth 20+ million. Oh, and he’s charging the taxpayer $50,000 a year to live in his own house. Thats 2.5 times what I get on the benefit that he’s cutting and putting sanctions on.

Nact don’t care if businesses go under and share prices crash; they’ll just sell their houses and buy stocks for cheaper. Their only concern is propping up the housing market ponzi scheme that they have all invested at the top of. This is why they’ve allowed councils to opt out of densification requirements and why they cut back the brightline test and are trying to boost the population with migrant workers; all of these things make house prices go up, make housing better for investors who make millions in untaxed capital gains.

NACT will not let the property market crash any further. Despite what they’re saying out loud, they actually want it to increase.

And they’re more than happy to wreck the economy to do it.

#New Zealand #nz #aotearoa #nzpol #New Zealand politics #nz politics #corruption #neoliberalism

[ilgaksu]

i will now be referring to this situation as weimargate, because i must laugh or i will dissolve into the void.

aka i have had a VERY weird experience of it in fandom lately, and it has escalated to memes in lieu of interpretative dance*, but also i want to talk about it because i think, in more general terms, it's relevant for discussion about how fandom is evolving.

(*as illustrated by @difeisheng because i am personally intimidated by photoshop. interpretative dance would've only had me to blame.)

so. hi! if you don't know me, i am an ao3 writer who goes by the pen name ilgaksu. i have 179 fics on my ao3 account, and of those, 46 of these are for DMBJ or grave robber's chronicles. i've been writing in this fandom for roughly three years, which means according to the laws of mathematics and my own inability to stop posting about my favourite blorbos, that's a new fic every 3.39 weeks. i have not counted chapter updates in this count, but given several have multiple chapters, i think we can see there's....a lot. one ongoing series is currently sitting at about 200k, word-count wise. i like to write, overall, about disability, reclamation, legacy and memory. i also overuse semi-colons.

i am also a very private person at this point in my fandom career. this will be the first post i've made in a while talking about myself where i have allowed there to be reblogs on it. this isn't intended as an affront to anyone else in fandom. my ask box is open, sans anon, and in the last few years, i chose to reply to every comment i could to make sure i still get to engage about the characters i love without compromising my own desire for privacy about my personal life. i choose to work under an explicit persona - because we all do on the internet but i have made mine obvious and enunciated and almost a brand - because i think there is something freeing about allowing myself that experience. it's allowed me to write work that i relate to deeply without having to divulge my life to be analysed by strangers on the internet. generally, i like to post my silly little stories, talk to people about them, and then go about my day offline.

anyway, so this week, i seriously considered walking away wholesale from my current fandom, and i'd actually like to talk about why, and talk about me as a person as opposed to the narrative of persona that i've crafted.

because the reality of a persona is that a real, living person is required to animate it. if i am the person who is small and human and anxious to even speak about this, then i am also the reason the operation is running. it's a one-man show. as much as i want my work to speak for itself without my need to justify its meaning or worth, without my experiences, research and choices about my time, the work would not exist. that's just fact. it's fact for every writer and artist and podficcer and person who labours out of love you see. i also deliberately consider myself a writer as opposed to a content creator, because i believe that label mimics a wider culture i have no interest in - that of someone creating a consumable, ownable object. my fanfiction is a hobby. it cannot be owned by other people. unlike my original work, where it can be bought, there is no formal, explicit contract between me and the reader. there is, however, in fandom, an implicit social contract of equality and collaboration, where we are all equals. i am fundamentally no better than someone who never writes fic and never wants to and never will. i reject the idea of superiority among fans because i do not engage in subculture to mimic the dominant culture, the one that tells me stories are something only certain people are allowed to see themselves in, or even tell to others; that production is the only means of social capital and intrinsic worth.

i am aware, also, that by being private the way i am, i end up sacrificing some experiences that i could have by being more accessible, but i want to reiterate that i have never gone out of my way to conceal my tumblr, nor ignored people who contacted me directly to talk about my fic. in fact, if you show up to talk about my fic, i will probably be so thrilled i'll never let you leave - especially since, when it comes to a majority of it - i spend a lot of time on research, something i enjoy, and deliberately cite my research in the notes because i want to share it as part of the experience of my writing. clearly, i want ideas i have come up with to be enjoyed and loved and shared, because otherwise why would i take the risk of putting them out online, where i then cannot control how they're received or transformed?

however, since about a year ago, i've maintained a policy of works based on my own that i've had outlined clearly in my profile on ao3 here:

as someone who is playing in someone else's sandbox for free myself, my only request is if when you use an idea, usually a headcanon, which is one i created, which you can as much and in whatever way you want because that is the nature of collaborative fandom and the reason i love it so much, you cite that i was the originator of the idea. and secondly, that you let me know. this is a personal request based on how writing can be a very lonely project, even in fandom. you put your work out into the world, with no sense of who it will reach and if it will mean anything to them, and you have to work on the faith that even if it doesn't, the work itself was worthwhile. but you hope it will, because everyone hopes it will.

all of this is outlining so it's understandable to people that read this how i was completely off my face bewildered when i found out a headcanon of mine had reached the level of fanon popularity where it's been mistaken for canon, and has been for over a year at the very least, and i had literally no idea this had happened.

which, frankly, was both hilarious, in a very bizarre way, and completely, deeply sucked.

i know this is my idea because of how distinctive it is, and how much it contravenes canon - namely, that a character, hei xiazi, was a medical student in berlin during the weimar republic. i know it's mine because the timeline with the canon we're told by the actual writer of the source material doesn't match up, which i was aware of and chose to retcon. it was designed and fitted to a personal interpretation of canon material i had been working on for years, and involved a lot of time and research and intense love for the era, the character, and the ways a story about being alone in a foreign country had intertwined with my own personal life. ever since i wrote it, i assumed that the one or two people who had used it with credit were the only ones who had, and because they had honoured my request i was honestly completely thrilled. i still am that those fics exist. that's because it was collaborative.

i want to be clear: nothing about the situation as it stands has been collaborative. a writer being the last to know about the commonality of their own idea in a small fandom is not collaborative. and while it might not bother everyone, it's bothered me to the point i've had serious consideration for several days about whether i should walk away from the fandom.

but ilgaksu, surely you should be flattered that people liked the idea so much?

yes. this was never about the use of the idea. it's about the way this idea has been isolated and used with an assumption that i would have no interest in knowing, or that i would even need to know. i'm not sure what has caused this - whether the persona element of my work has led people to believe i would not have any emotions about finding this out, but i am not, actually, a persona. i am the person who uses it. and as the person who uses it, this is how it felt to find this out. it felt, and still feels uncomfortable, hurtful and isolating to find out your idea has been so beloved but that nobody considered whether you would like to know. it feels like the collaborative element of fandom has been severed from you, specifically, and that your fanwork has been treated as entirely other from you as a fan. i hope nobody else making work feels like this, and i've been told this situation is so strange as to ensure that's hopefully not the case, but i think this is an ongoing issue more widely - the idea that writers are separate from fan culture, and their works are products as opposed to the shared results of a hobby.

do i think this was deliberate? not at all. do i think this was intended to be hurtful? not even in the slightest. but i want to be clear how personal this feels.

i don't have an answer for this situation. the cat is out of the bag, ilgaksu knows about the fanon, and hei xiazi is, despite all canon, going to medical school in 1920s germany. expressing my discomfort with how this has gone down feels important to me anyway, and it's also important to me that i do it in this very detailed way so that people who were unaware do not feel personally at fault, or feel like by me expressing this i am taking this idea back from them. i always wanted this idea to be loved and to be shared.

i also always hoped this idea would find people who wanted and needed a story about someone a long way from home following an ambition, and how much fear and hope and desire goes into the decision to do something like that, and what it means to be a disabled person in a foreign country, and what it means to be queer in a foreign country, and overall what it means to be a stranger in a strange land. i want to be clear that while i wrote this for me, i also wrote it for everyone who has also lived that. i want my work to feel like someone is holding your hand, not that they're at a distance and disregarding you, the reader, and the relationship we have together during the time you read my work.

i hope in future that if you use my headcanons and are aware of that being the case, you let me know. i don't have to read the work itself if you find that intimidating. i will not go out of my way to find it. whatever you've done with the idea, i will fundamentally see it as a compliment and evidence of an exchange between us as a fandom. but i want to know because otherwise, all i see is you taking something i loved and wanted to share and enjoying it with a door firmly shut between us. i am too old to care if i'm not invited to a party, but if the party is themed around a concept i put so much thought and love - for the source material, the people who were going to read it and myself - i can't help but care. it's hard to feel like a vending machine, even if the process of making the fic is so joyful for me that i won't stop until the joy is gone. it hasn't gone yet, but this week it's been dented a bit.

anyway - if you got to the end of this, thank you. please be considerate of how much this has taken for me to express, regardless of your own feelings on it, and how unusual it is for me to make a post that is able to be shared. if you use the idea in future, you do so with my blessing, which was always there. if you want primary sources, places to start, or anything like that - fashion, language, visuals - i want to be clear you can ask me and i will be beyond thrilled to help. i always have been and i'm concerned that because of this that hasn't been clear. but i also feel like if i don't state this experience in this way at this time, and how it was experienced by me, odds are i will now forever look over my shoulder and wonder if this will happen again, and i love writing for this fandom so much that i will not allow something like that to dim that love. i know you love these characters so much too - it's why you're here. i actually used to make a lot more meta posts like this, about fan culture, and i've been considering if i will again - just less personal and less anxiety-inducing to post next time. until and beyond then, i just hope we can all consider things like this in future - that i can treat you with the same grace - and understand the pressures and anxieties of writers in fandom at this point in time especially. a lot of us have hearts far more made of glass about the things we love, like our work, than can be immediately apparent.

anyway, i'm going back into hiding now.

your friendly local cryptid fanwriter,

ao3 user ilgaksu <3

#personal #fandom #okay to reblog

[thesummerestsolstice]

Part four of my series on Rivendell's guards! Wherein I finally talk about why Hrivossa and Celecoll keep getting into arguments. You might want to read parts 1, 2, and 3 first for context.

So we pick up after the siege of Rivendell is broken by Gil-Galad's forces

Among those forces is Hrivossa and her Feanorian faction, who weren't in Eregion when it fell (they were supposed to go as reinforcements later, but never had a chance)

So Hrivossa is very relieved that her lord is alive, obviously, and fully approves of Elrond creating his own little haven in the valley

Anyway then she meets Celecoll

Let me be clear; it is absolute loathing from first sight for those two

Hrivossa is decked out in Feanorian stars, Celecoll is still wearing some old Iathrim armor, they know what they're dealing with, and they're not happy about it

They are both just sensitive enough not to start yelling obscenities at each other in the middle of Rivendell's main courtyard

Especially when Hrivossa finds out that Celecoll has been an impromptu guard for Elrond during the siege (and Celecoll finds out that Hrivossa is normally Elrond's guard)

As far as Hrivossa is concerned, Celecoll is a coward who hid behind the girdle and shamefully ran away when her kingdom needed her most, all while keeping the Silmarils from their rightful owners, and who has no business around Elrond, a good Feanorian lord

As far as Celecoll is concerned, Hrivossa is a remorseless murder who's probably still extremely dangerous, and definitely crass and improper, and who also maybe kept Elrond prisoner(?) and who has no business around Elrond, a good Sindar lord

(Sidenote: a lot of people had issues with Elrond's former jailers basically becoming the basis for his house as a lord but that's another post topic)

I want to be clear both of these people almost immediately made peace with the actual orcs they were now living with and they still hated each other

After a few loud arguments (because a few cups of elvish wine can easily overcome both their abilities to not start yelling at each other) Elrond decides he's had enough and separates them

Alternating schedules where they don't have to see each other, and now they live at opposite ends of the growing city

Problem solved, right?

Wrong!

Celecoll moves next to Hrivossa and they start fighting again

I feel like I should note that half the time they aren't even arguing in the same language

Subjects for discussion include: whether or not Thingol was bad, who the Silmarils rightfully belonged to, and most importantly, who gets to guard Elrond

Can you become a toxic divorced couple without ever being romantically involved? Local elves sure are trying

This cycle repeats several more times before Elrond decides that they clearly, like, need the enrichment from arguing or something

He gets their rooms soundproofed so that their fights don't wake anyone else up and just kind of lets it happen

For some ungodly reason yelling at each other a few times a month actually seems to help both of them be more calm and relaxed the rest of the time

Some things are unknowable, even to the wisest minds, and the reason why they're like this is one of them

#silmarillion #silm headcanons #silm oc #rivendell #imladris #elrond #elrond peredhel #feanorians #these two are just one example of all the weird problems Rivendell has #like it's a great place but Elrond has had to find many solutions for the problems #that happen when you shove a bunch of people who aren't fit for civil society in the same valley #honestly he's just glad they haven't like #had a duel for his honor or anything #glorfindel still usually ends up guarding Elrond #he's very smug about it

[writegoblin]

I have been severely craving my boy. No no, not Michael. Boseph uwu

Look at him. Unf.

Anyways.

Bo Sinclair Headcanons!

SFW

- You ended up in Ambrose because your car alignment decided it had enough of these off road shenanigans.

- Your reasons for being out that way, for story purposes, are running from your old life. All your old family and friends are shitty so you an conveniently disappear bc smthn smthn deus ex machina

- HOW you find out about your car alignment is another story. Let's just say, tumbling in a car is much more painful than it looks. What's worse is landing in a roadkill pit. Yeah boy. You know what time it is B)

- Lester almost shit himself when you came from over the highway. He thought you were dead and was going to call Vincent when you punched out the front seat. That's hot. Alright stranger, you're coming with me!

- He tries to clean you up and get your name. Takes you back to his place because he doesn't want to catch the twins off guard. But the day you spend there is lovely.

- You get the Ambrose and immediately shits off. Long story short, you become something of a live in maid. They can't kill you because it would be a lot of hassle on their end (another deus ex. You're related to a cop or something idk), and they COULD turn this situation around. Get use out of you.

- Bo likes how witty you are. You don't like to be bossed around which is clearly why you ran away from home (what are you, 10?)

- At first he's very callous to you and makes no effort to understand you. As far as he's concerned, you're another spoiled out of towner, just impeding on he and his brother's strange get rich scheme (more on that later. I'll explain in end notes.)

- What's worse is you're argumentative. Whenever he asks you to do something (read: yells at you), you always gotta talk back. You say funny stuff sometimes but it's annoying mostly. Vincent enjoys it much more than he does.

- You make nice with Vinny first. When you aren't forced to do chores, he lets you help him with the wax. Bo sees this and eventually realizes that while you are certainly mouthy, you are human with like hobbies and shit.

- He's a chef he's a gourmand

- He cooks for he and Vincent because Vincent, due to some brain damage, has a weird palette. So anything he makes either has way too much seasoning, or it tastes like cardboard. Bo on the other hand, grew up running around the streets of Baton Rogue with his friends after school. He KNOWS how to cook good.

- He's also good at first aid. The actual surgery and medical stuff is Vincent's wheelhouse but once you broke your arm trying to fix some shutters he told you to fix. He felt bad so he very gingerly fixed your arm. It healed really nicely but you'll never forget the way those blue eyes of his were so warm when he looked at you, touching the bend in your forearm and his voice, gentle as the day you first met went, "does it hurt?"

- Yeah but you looking at me like that bout to get me pregnant hurts worse sir

- As a boyfriend he's only jealous/protective around tourists. But as a dude in a town with a population of technically 3.5 if you count Lester's visits, he gets it. He does not mind his twin ogling you. He does not mind sharing EVENTUALLY. At first, he's very apprehensive.

- Bo's love language is physical touch. Even nonsexual touch is nice. He likes laying his head in your lap while yall watch TV and you rake your nails through his scalp gently.

- When he gets night terrors he likes to hold onto you in the dark like hope. He puts his face in your chest and he's almost like a little kid for a second. You have no choice but to coddle aw noooo aw man can't believe I have this hot sexy guy in my lap crying ohbhughghh

- If you're pear shaped? He loves your hips. Man, woman, ethereal creature, it don't matter. He was born an ass man he'll die an ass man.

- If you like star gazing, he'll listen to you rattle off about constellations. He likes listening to people ramble about unique special interests because it gives him a little taste of variety in his quiet life.

NSFW

- big. Thick. Cut.

- leftward pitch and he loves doing mating presses.

- much more inclined to rough sex (obviously)

- I do know he likely and unfortunately assaulted those ladies on the wall but in my HCs I like to think it was CNC instead. What stops him from doing the same here is you're too loud and mouthy, so the attraction is initially not there.

- As you soften up because of Vin though, and start opening up and smiling and being cute, he can't help but let his mind roam sometimes.

- Loves fantasizing you in different little costumes to dress up in. A visitor once visited and she was a cam girl! In your size! So lucky!

- please were garter belts this man will not be normal

- Loves intercurral. To punish you if he catches you masturbating, he'll fuck your thighs until he cuts, leaving you all hot and bothered.

- The basement does not come into equation until after the first time. And the first time is more of a gentle, romantic moment of vulnerability.

- Your first time was during a thunderstorm and you were telling him about your past and how so many people hurt you. Abused you. He felt so connected to you. You always held back your anger and he let you express it by throwing stuff and by the end of it you were a sobbing and screaming and laughing mess and he was standing in the debris and he saw himself and he reached out and kissed you in an attempt to ammend himself.

- When he made love to you that night, he decided your ass is never moving out sorry lol

- Exhibitionist. Likes to take you to Baton Rogue for little dates and fucks you in alleys and parks. The most exciting was a drive in theater he took you to where you gave him head. He fucked you in the wooded area outside after.

- PRIESTKINKPRIESTKINK

- Hahaha okay but what if you confessed and he fucked u in the confessional would that be crazy or what

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have a few HOW headcanons actually!

- the boys do the whole house of Wax thing in an attempt to get rich. Bo decided "oh I guess I could be mayor but hm no money here" and he rubbed two cells together and was like "WHAT IF WE MADE AN ATTRACTION THAT WAS THE BESTEST."

- tricked Vin into it cause "they're carrying Mom's legacy :(((( she'd love this trust me we're gonna expand the house into a town it'll be great."

- Lester's there cause he loves his brother's and is also admittedly a bit crazy himself. He's definitely tied a few people up and intimidated people, but that's not his usual job. He's too baby.

- Canonically, where Ambrose is located, it would be a roughly 30 min drive (or 2 hours I forgor lol) to Baton Rogue! So fun fact. They're Baton boys uwu

- I think even though Bo is a good cook, gumbo is Lester's wheelhouse cause he's just got that swagger to him. Like if I met Lester and he was like "do u want me to make you gumbo" I'd say yes, no hesitation.

#bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #slasher fics #slasher headcanons #slasher x reader

[utilitycaster]

In the most recent CR episode I found it really interesting (and really concerning) that it Laudna's truth about wanting Bells Hells to ripcord out of saving the world came hot on the heels of Imogen's truth about not wanting to save the gods

Idk it could just be me, but it seemed like her truth was just another attempt to placate Imogen's moral confusion, while simultaneously pushing those things back onto the whole group

All it makes me think of is the fanon and 4SD discussions about Imogen and Laudna retiring to a farm and living happily ever after. What are either of their reasons for remaining with Bells Hells at this point, if their truths are that they don't want to save the world?

See, that actually seemed fine to me! Fearne had earlier admitted she felt they were ill-equipped for the job and likely to fail, so it's not just them who feel it, and honestly I think that Laudna's confession was one of the more valid ones that I hope get unpacked. Fjord and Jester made a very similar admission to each in both episode 72 and episode 118 of Campaign 2, of "hey, wouldn't it be nice if we just ran away somewhere quiet and never had to deal with this again" and I think that having that admission and then finding a way forward anyway is a really great moment. I didn't write at length about how Orym's "but we have to work together and do this" has also been a really big factor in the party's dysfunction because I covered a lot of that in my discussion of how he handles his own grief well and the grief and pain of others very badly, but honestly it's good that Fearne and Laudna are getting to "we don't have to do this, this was always thrust upon us because an old guy brought us to a cool orc who hired us to look into some stuff and in the process found out that the comparatively small-time political crook was tangentially involved in a a vast cosmic death cult conspiracy that several of our parents are also involved with."

My issue with Imogen is that she literally said two episodes ago she's never prayed and now she's claiming the gods never listened to her, as well as that her reasoning is the horrifyingly self-absorbed "they don't love her", but I actually think it's fine if this party does not wish to save the gods on the grounds of "we feel underqualified and overwhelmed and like we've been at the mercy of many (mortal) masters with no time to pursue our own interests." And I think that Laudna didn't force this specific thing on the rest of the party; she said they could all ripcord, but didn't say who should do it or who felt that way or force them into agreement.

I've talked about the campaign's earlier pacing at length and I don't want to revisit it at length because it evened out, but more so than any other party, Bells Hells has rarely had self-directed adventures. That's a big reason why they're such a mess; they didn't need to develop the tools to come to consensus because Eshteross or Ryn or Keyleth would give them tasks, so we never actually have delved particularly deeply into what most of the party members want to be doing, which is why we're here with this group that's mostly stuck together because they've had jobs to do. I think acknowledging that is an important step, because the task at hand (scouting on Ruidus) is in my opinion within their abilities, but they've been pushed and pushed and have finally reached a point where they can't just keep going. (This by the way is the underlying premise of this post; this is the fundamental reality of Bells Hells as a party. If you like that the most then hell yeah, but a lot of people who claim to love C3 are blaming the entire plot of the campaign for why the party is a mess which is like, so you like the premises of these characters and dislike the vast majority of the actual story in which they exist, and you really just want the story of Campaign 1 or Campaign 2 but Ashton is there.)

With that said though, I do agree that's kind of at the core of Imogen and Laudna. They're so insular, and that's been claimed as a feature, not a bug, for much of the fanon of that relationship. Like, I think Laudna is valid for this specific statement, but unlike Fjord and Jester, who had established in through the course of the campaign both deep ties to each of the rest of the Mighty Nein and a profound sense of responsibility in general, I find myself wondering why Imogen and Laudna don't go off and live in a cottage together and leave the rest of the party to handle this. I mean, Imogen is also impossibly tied up in the fate of Ruidus, but she dithers about the approach so much I wonder why she doesn't decide that perhaps she should stay out of it altogether and retire to that cottage with Laudna until it's all over.

Personally, my thought is that Imogen does in fact secretly like being the special Ruidusborn Exaltant On The Other Side, especially since she's realized her mother wasn't that (as she had hoped). I agree with the fairly common opinion that Imogen and Ashton are in many ways extremely similar people, but whereas Ashton just got a very brutal wake up call of "your parents did fuck up and you're not built different and your desperate attempt to be something special could have hurt everyone" Imogen is still out here going full Javert on everyone's personal thoughts. So I suspect she won't ripcord out in the end, and therefore Laudna won't. But I do think it's valid for Laudna to bring up, and indeed, one of the many things that would make great progress in fixing this party dynamic would be Laudna independently expressing her own needs some more instead of being Imogen's Yes-Woman or projecting her own desires onto other people as I suspect she's doing with Fearne and the shard.

#answered #Anonymous #maintagging bc i think this covers a lot of the nuances that were out of scope for two bigger past posts #critical role

[darlingbabyboo]

(He's beautiful 😍) love my boy so much, I needed to make this post about him because he exists rent free in my head ❤️‍🔥

Warning: overwhelming love and me inserting some ship opinions (but actually, I mention suicide briefly

First off, let me say that I wholeheartedly choose to believe that Hanma has heterochromia. The only reason that the anime doesn't show it because they're cowards

Anyways,

Starting with the entirety of his life

Because the manga severely deprived us of a backstory, I'll never forgive you Wakui it is up to me to conjure up something that makes sense

I'm saying it with all the love in my heart, Hanma has such strong fatherless and motherless energy

It's probably from neglect, I don't think he was physically abused, I just think he didn't have a lot of love in his life

He probably got his tattoos when he was insanely young because his family just, like didn't care

Also, I don't remember where, but there's a headcanon saying that Hanma's dad is a police chief and I'm deeply obsessed with that idea and I think that it actually makes a lot of sense

Like his dad pushed him away even further because he didn't want his rep ruined because of his delinquent son

Also makes sense that Hanma wasn't caught when he was a fugitive (I don't believe that he could have run from the law for that long, I mean, have you seen this man??? This clown attracts attention everywhere he goes)

It would also add up if Hanma gets bored so easily because he's a rich kid and his life's so predictable. He wants something: he'll just get it. It's absolutely horrible

If I had to guess what his mom was, I would say she either left him when he was young or she was an actress/singer (I don't know why it feels like it would fit)

Hanma probably didn't have a lot of friends growing up (pretty sure that's canonical) and the reason that he's so strange and weird is because he had a wild imagination to occupy himself when he was growing up

Got into fights because he was very possessive as a kid (he probably didn't drop that trait when growing up, let's be honest), so when he saw some other kids try to play on the playground, he immediately went into fight mode

He was born really strong, so other kids kinda stopped messing with him and they treated him really well (where he got his dream of wanting to be treated like a king and having 100 servants)

He got bored so he moved on to seeking out fights, lo and behold

He got his Reaper title

Was of course really bored until some light came into life

He met Kisaki!

I think he loved Kisaki so much because 1) Kisaki was nefarious and he couldn't really guess what he was going to do next and 2) he's literally never had a friend before in his entire life and Kisaki quickly became his best one

Like, y'all can talk as much as you want about Kisaki, but he and Hanma had something

Their sleepovers might have consisted of Hanma playing video games while Kisaki's playing with people's lives but if that'snot friendship then what is

If y'all aren't planning the downfall of your enemies with your bestie then can you even consider yourself friends???

100% believe that Hanma has called Kisaki the light of his life

Or something weird like, you're the torch in my circus act or some shit

Kisaki probably hated the nicknames but it probably just fueled Hanma even more

Lives to annoy people

Completely random but I have to insert because I will forever ship Hanmai but I choose to believe that Hanma fell more Mikey after he tried to kick his ass and then when Mikey actually did kick his ass

It just seems so Hanma to fall for someone who hates him and has beaten the crap out of him

Kisaki would make fun of him for it, I know he would

On how much Hanma knows about Kisaki's plan, I think he chooses to know very little because he enjoys being shocked

I think that Kisaki would probably tell Hanma if he asked, who would Hanma tell?

Og Timeline:

Honestly, at this point what does that even mean?

But anyways, I honestly think that Hanma would have committed suicide

He doesn't really have anyone in his life and he's going to get bored one day

It's either that or jail

Just very depressing for me to think about

Bad Toman timeline:

Hanma probably uses his connections to the police, has a lot of fun because he has a friend and can do whatever he wants, breaks lots of teeth and enjoys everyone else's suffering

Bonten timeline:

Probably just trying to survive right? Like, Kisaki was dead in this timeline (god, there are so many timelines that I might be losing track or getting them confused with each other) so it's not like he had anyone to care about him

He was also on the run

Maybe he would have gotten recruited in another gang

I think he would have gone on living in order to keep Kisaki's legacy going on like wearing some of his old clothes, wearing his glasses, stuff like that

I don't know, this one is also pretty depressing

Final timeline:

He's actually very good at photography but I think the troll in him chose to take shoddy pictures of Takemichi's wedding

It's just so him

He either overcharges or undercharges, he's just that great

I don't remember if there are any other timelines so moving on

Random stuff (will be inserting ship opinions, lol)

Probably copied Takemichi's hatred of Kisaki, doesn't know why they hate him, but okay best bud!

Will obliterate anyone who bad talks Kisaki

Low empathy and sympathy for people and he enjoys other people in pain but that's more because the world is cruel and he decided to be crueler

Shameless flirt

Would flirt with someone in a relationship, if you destroy your relationship, that's not his problem

It's not his fault that he's so irresistible

I don't think that he has trust issues because he's very perceptive (way more then people give him credit for)

Don't need trust issues when you already know what everyone has planned

Makes his birthday a really big deal (if you're with him, be prepared to get him an extravagant present because he has no filter and will tell you when he thinks a present is ass)

But also, I think he forgets if his birthday is, like, the next day

Knows that Ran and Kakucho don't like/trust him but he literally could not give a fuck

He has also grown up with people not really liking him so he doesn't care

Spends as much time as he can with them because he adores pissing people off

He would probably try to sleep with them tbh to make them hate themselves (I don't know but my baby lowkey gives off whore vibes and he already likes fucking with people so two birds one stone)

Cares very little for people's opinions

Unless those people like him, then his opinions flip completely

Him and Draken would lowkey make a lot of sense guys, like forgetting the fact that in one of the timelines he aided in killing Emma, the love of Draken's life

Think about the fact that Draken sees the best in people and Hanma definitely appreciates Draken if you know what I mean

All Hanma needs is a little love and he's good guys (don't wanna call him easy, I mean, look at him, but throughout the manga he only has one person and that breaks my heart)

Mitsuya is also in a similar position as Draken

I will not let go of Hanma having a crush on Hanma and a relationship Hanma and Mikey could be possible!!!

I'm not delusional, please guys

I think Hanma would enjoy Mikey when he's good or bad because he pretty much subverts expectations

He's small but he gives off such intense vibes

He's a serious person when he needs to be but he's also incredibly childish

He's super strong but you wouldn't expect it from someone of Mikey's build

The darkness that lies underneath those blonde locks would appeal to Hanma soo much

And I think Mikey would like someone like Hanma who's carefree, silly, and strong and has also done some crappy things and won't judge Mikey for his darker thoughts (though he may encourage him to indulge in them, but every relationship has flaws! )

I mean, c'mon guys, join me, ship them!!!!

They both crave unconditional love and I think they would give it to each other

Would do shit like name a snake cat and ask people if they want to see his pet cat (can you imagine him doing that to Chifuyu, it's gold)

Was probably an only child but if he had siblings they were probably like golden children who are 20 years older then him

Hanma gives off accident baby vibes

Judgmentally unjudgmental

If you killed someone, he wouldn't judge you for killing someone, would probably have a few comments on how bad you are at killing people and ask if you need tips

One things that's stated with his character is that he likes/admires seniors and I'm going two ways with that

He either respects that they've lived for so long

Or he had a grandpa or some other old person treat him well when he was younger (probably a teacher or something)

Fan of cartoons and childish sorta shows/movies

Finds all the murders and bloody in adult stuff unrealistic (and he would know)

Can't cook but can bake

Unlike Chifuyu, who I think can cook not bake

You guys could be a power couple, all you need to do is accept the fact that he manipulated your friend into killing your other friend

Everyone makes mistakes

That's actually so sad, these headcanons make me wish that I could be his childhood friend or something and shower him with all the love he deserves

Kazutora probably forgave Hanma because of self-hatred stuff idk

They would make each other the worst friendship bracelets ever and unironically never take them off

Then they would kiss softly on the lips

This could be a thing. Someone please make it a thing.

Second friend Hanma makes in his entire life

Hates reading but has read an astonishing number of classic books (like guys, he gets bored quickly, I wholeheartedly believe that he has tried everything)

Athletic

Has lots of domestic thoughts because he craves for that familial connection

Would not advertise that though

Probably would openly mock it

Good with kids (because he had the mind of one)

Can also see him using his free time to scare kids at the playground

Loves being spoiled, not because he likes things but because he likes the care and love received from someone

Randomly spoils those he loves with things

Horribly touch starved

Would actually be so good in a relationship because he's very devout and loyal to the people he cares about

Conclusion:

Hanma deserves good things, and I need to give it to him

#tokyo revengers #hanma shuji #hanma x reader #hankisa #hanmai #handraken #hansuya #hanma x draken #hanma x mikey #hanma x mitsuya #hanma headcanons #hanma angst #hanma fluff #hanma scenarios #hanma x kisaki #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers angst #tokyo revengers fluff #tokyo revengers scenarios #tokyo revengers x reader #draken #manjiro sano #hanfuyu #hanma x chifuyu #hantora #hanma x kazutora

[letteredlettered]

Lest you think I only have good things to say about TGCF forever--well, that's ultimately true but I'm also ultimately annoyed about the treatment of Hua Cheng as a character.

Listen. Wanting to put your god on a pedestal and lick the floor for him/die for him/efface your entire self for him AND fuck him through the floor/violate every part of his body until he begs for mercy/tease him and embarrass him so much he can't stand his own skin AND live as BFF husbands on somewhat even footing are three very different things.

I want to see how Hua Cheng reconciles being quite honestly ready to murder the first person in sight because Xie Lian had some slight question about his devotion to his god's cause, with purposely embarrassing him and teasing him and calling him gege. But we don't really get anything about his private thoughts? He is never presented as having inner conflicts, other than regret that Xie Lian has suffered pain?

Like, there is a suggestion that he knows his obsession with Xie Lian and the ways in which he is obsessed could be seen as creepy and freakish, but it gets washed away when Xie Lian says it doesn't bother him and still wants to kiss him. There are several demonstrations of his self-loathing, and yet it doesn't get aired like everyone else's dirty laundry does.

And then there's the part where you find out that Hua Cheng has sacrificed a part of his body rather than any part of a group of humans who were doomed to die anyway. And you know that this is a huge deal for him, because the whole reason he was with those humans at Mt Tonglu was so that he could be strong enough to come back to Xie Lian and protect him. Except we also know that again, Hua Cheng had no compunction about helping Xie Lian commit genocide and regocide and countless murders; like he had no interest or respect for human life at all when it came to doing whatever Xie Lian bid him to do. So it's in fact a huge fucking deal that in the end, Hua Cheng would rather hurt himself than anybody else, except that is not really explored in the novel.

I mean, you can say that the only reason Hua Cheng-as-Wuming didn't care about murders was that Xie Lian wanted the murders, which made the murders all justified in Wuming's mind, and, that since Xie Lian wasn't there at Mt Tonglu, Hua Cheng just had to go with his own instincts instead of Xie Lian wanting murders, so in the end Hua Cheng's own instinct was self-sacrifice. You could also say, I guess, that Hua Cheng hated his eye anyway so it's not the same sort of sacrifice it would have been had it been another body part.

But even if that's the case, I'd want it to be explored. Like, isn't it likely that Hua Cheng chose self-sacrifice because he knew Xie Lian would choose self-sacrifice, because he knew that a Xie Lian not driven mad with grief and pain would not want to harm others to further his own cause? At the same time, Hua Cheng is not shown to make choices that will align with Xie Lian's values at other parts in the book. In fact, Hua Cheng consciously and purposely makes choices that he thinks could or even would disgust Xie Lian, because it's more important to Hua Cheng to make those choices if they protect and preserve Xie Lian than it is for Hua Cheng to make choices that would make Xie Lian look at him fondly or proudly. So, it's such a big deal that deep down, Hua Cheng does want to care about and protect others, even people who aren't Xie Lian, but it's just mentioned in passing at almost the very end and never explored.

And then these 800 years, what was Hua Cheng even doing? I mean, I get it, it takes a lot of time to carve ten thousand statues, especially the ones where you need to get his cock just right for....reasons, but I thought we were going to get some kind of explanation of what he did during this time. Why did he decide to finally approach Xie Lian when he did? Like, I think the conversation between Xie Lian and Hua Cheng-as-the-little-ghost-fire is supposed to explain part of why Hua Cheng stayed away for so long--XL says "if your beloved knows you couldn't find peace just because you wanted to protect them, wouldn't they feel guilty?" And the ghost says that then he would just protect his beloved from afar.

But was Hua Cheng protecting Xie Lian? Because it seems like Xie Lian getting trampled to death (as "General" Hua) and then getting killed and buried in a coffin (as State Preceptor Fengxin) is not very protective? Like, Hua Cheng did a bad job there.

It seems like the fics I'm reading are going with the idea that Hua Cheng couldn't find Xie Lian. Hua Cheng does say he did search for Xie Lian and couldn't find him, but we know this is a bald-faced lie. Hua Cheng says this when Xie Lian asks him if Hua Cheng ever saw him outside of Xianle, because Xie Lian has become concerned that Hua Cheng saw his downfall after his banishment and his descent into genocidal madness before his second ascension. But we know that Hua Cheng did see that, which means Hua Cheng is very much lying about not being able to find Xie Lian after the fall of Xianle.

But sure, you can posit that after Hua Cheng-as-Wuming almost disperses all the way and then comes back, he can't find Xie Lian again. I think you can also assume that Wuming's dispersal is more total and complete than Hua Cheng's dispersal after he breaks Xie Lian's shackles, so I think you can easily posit that it takes Hua Cheng at least a century to return as a complete person after Xie Lian's second ascension/banishment. And I can imagine that even after fully returning amassing wealth and power takes time, but here's where I get stumped--Hua Cheng is does not read as someone who would sit around and wait to have enough wealth and power to protet Xie Lian before trying to protect Xie Lian. I imagine that the first thing he does as soon as he can like, move independently in the world is look for him, even if only to help him from afar. And yet, as previously stated...Xie Lian really didn't seem like he got much help in those 800 years.

Perhaps we can assume that once Xie Lian ascends (why does he ascend the third time? Never addressed? Also annoyed about this) Black Water/Earth Master/He Xuan now can report on Xie Lian's exact whereabouts, but there's still no good explanation for why super over-powered Hua Cheng would not be able to find Xie Lian for 800 years. I mean, it's not exactly a needle in a haystack here. Xie Lian is a singular person. Just follow disaster, honestly. I guess Hua Cheng didn't know about the shackle on Xie Lian's luck, but he has figured out a lot of Xie Lian's past, right? I don't understand why he hasn't figured that out.

(And another thing--does Hua Cheng even know why Xie Lian got banished the second time? Does he even know that Xie Lian asked for the shackles? Doesn't he want to know everything he possibly can about Xie Lian? If he's unwilling to ask, I'd understand, but again--everyone else's dirty laundry gets out there, but here there's this thing that is so central to Hua Cheng's and Xie Lian's relationship, unexplored.)

My problem isn't that Hua Cheng lives and exists for Xie Lian. That's who he is, and I think I wouldn't like or love him as a character if I thought he needed to have more in his life than his single-minded devotion. But single-minded devotion can contain a lot more dimension and conflict than I think ultimately got explored, and there are and some super salient events in his life that are really defining moments. It makes him feel a lot more one-dimensional than I feel like the character is set up to be.

The fic so far honestly gives him a more interesting treatment, imo. He's a lot more tortured about whether to fuck or worship and how to do both, which I guess I'm ultimately saying is what I really want from that character. I find him deeply lovable, interesting, and fascinating, I just didn't think the book really spent time with the most interesting parts of him.

#hua cheng #tgcf

[nkjemisin]

Hi! (Just to get in front of it, I'm not asking you for anything. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your work and I SEE the decolonization in it. I'm definitely also neurodivergent, so forgive me if I over- or under-explain a point.) But I realize this is an Ask Me Anything... egad.

I'm working on a piece about Broken Earth for the Decolonizing the EcoGothic volume of the Gothic Nature Journal, and I just wanted to let you know that I am blown away by the way you tell stories. I was in a Gothic Horror (I'm really not that big of a Gothic literature nerd, I swear!) class while I was in graduate school last year and we read Toni Morrison's Beloved. That was the second time that I read that novel in particular, and the first time I read it I got hung up on Mama Suggs. Her character and her ceremonies in the clearing were very powerful, and I couldn't put a pin in why until I read Broken Earth. Something about the connection between Essun and Alabaster's bodies transforming as a result of their magic use and the utter negation and abuse and colonization of the black body in both stories and historic times of slavery (and the prison industrial complex today, let's be real). Reading Broken Earth helped me understand that. So thank you.

I'm sorry this is turning into a mini essay, but I also wanted to mention another connection I found between the two on my second read (a connection I formed, I'm definitely not trying to say that I know for sure what you were going for because of course there's a lot to the stories) was between that of the characters Nassun and Denver. Near the end of the novel, after Beloved's ghost has all but taken everything from Sethe, Denver begins to step off of the safe porch and enter into the unsafe world alone for the first time to try and find help. She finds herself recalling a conversation that she heard between Baby Suggs and her mother:

“Oh, some of them [white people] do all right by us,” Sethe said. Baby suggs responds,

“And every time it’s a surprise, ain’t it? Don’t box with me. There’s more of us they drowned than there is all of them ever lived from the start of time. Lay down your sword. This ain’t a battle; it’s a rout” (287). Denver then asks the memory of her grandmother what she should do, then. “Know it, and go on out the yard. Go on,” her grandmother responds (288).

What should Denver, or Nassun, do with the knowledge that they will never truly be safe? She has to accept it, but go on anyway. One foot after another, and so on. I felt a bit of this driving Nassun after her father takes her away from their home in Tirimo... and I dunno. You and Toni Morrison both write stories that stick with me, personally, and make me think. And think and think.

Oh I'm also not assuming you've read Beloved, either. I'm sorry! I this is turning into a mess. I think I'll stop there. Just, thank you. For your stories and for your characters and for the story of Syl Anagist. I loved the Inheritance Trilogy also, I'm just very stuck on Broken Earth because of this piece I'm working on. Thank you! Sorry.

No need to apologize! But I can't answer your question because I haven't read Beloved. Read and loved several Morrison novels, but not that one. (I keep meaning to, but my Mount ToBeRead is the size of Everest and growing.) Both books are inspired by the same historical event, and I think because of that, folks who don't know about Margaret Garner reasonably assume I'm riffing on Morrison rather than reality. But nope, the Broken Earth trilogy is just one of several creative works that are in conversation with the Garner tragedy. Any similarities you see probably come from the fact that Morrison and I share a racial and gender identity, and had a similar reaction to realizing just how much our current lives are impacted by hidden historical horrors.

Even if I'd read Beloved, however, I probably wouldn't be able to answer your question. Lit crit is best done by people other than the author, IMO. We're too close to our work to tell you very much about it.

#answered asks

[slushiepizza]

I just read your 'The Pursuit of Catharsis' and I'M NOT OK BUT IN A GOOD WAY!!!

And because I'm a sucker for angst... I wanna twist the knife in Guy's heart a bit more ❤️

Imagine if Guy - with his name now in the spotlight, his career at its peak and yet he's so miserable to the point of suicidal because of the cheating, of the scandal and the divorce - saw Honey on a random street on night.

Looking just as perfect as the day he lost them.

Looking like they're untouched by time.

Because after losing Guy and working themselves up to be the best version of themselves, to have the healthiest mental and emotional health in their lives, Honey becomes someone else's...

Treasure.

YES, IT'S EXACTLY WHO YOU THINK HE IS!

ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME! GOOD BYE!

link to the fic

Thanks for reading and enjoying the fic!!! I'm using this opportunity to discuss the Divorced!AU lmao

warning : discussions of suicidal behavior, mental health issues, substance abuse

i. honey being treasure

ough..... that's a really sad idea but now I'm more focused on something specific in this scenario. If Honey later became Treasure, there's the implication that they weren't doing as well as they hoped they were because as mentioned by Porter, 'your friends suck'. And they now have a semi-toxic circle of friends.

I like that, I think. That no matter how hard they try and how far they've come since the divorce- there's always the ghost of it that they couldn't get rid of and managed to sneak away into their life.

ii. Guy's misery and cheating

Hm, about Guy being miserable to the point of suicidal...I do think that he was already like that before he cheated and when he and Honey were still married but had problems. That was sort of my take on his reasoning behind why he cheated actually.

He was just someone who couldn't cope with fame while at the same time craving it severely. He spent all of his time working and tried to remedy his lack of effort into maintaining his relationship with Honey with lavish gifts. He struggled with substance abuse- mainly alcohol but sometimes others- because he refused to realize that he had nothing else to live for now that he's at the top.

When he and Honey's fights got really bad, he'd go on a bender. He'd go for one night stands mostly, and they all have traits that are reminiscent of Honey's. They weren't on speaking terms when he missed their anniversary for the sake of going abroad. And Guy has this feeling that whatever they're dealing with- they won't be able to come back from this. He'd imagine the people and sex workers he'd spend the night with was Honey he was laying with, as and under the blur and haze of the stupor he was in, they might as well be. When people found out about him cheating, the world moves on. He's a Hollywood writer, of course it wouldn't be something people blink an eye at. His career wouldn't take a hit at all.

iii. honey's aftermath

After they got divorced, Honey would move away from Dahlia and live in a small town where they can escape Guy's name and fame. They'd heal but they severely missed someone who used to be their best friend.

Life in the small town was idyllic and had the community they needed to heal. Honey started work as a cargo truck driver, finding comfort in long winding roads in between states. They don't quite care about the cities or fame or success anymore- it's sullied by how things used to be and how Guy turned out.

At a local bookstore new, freshly packaged books was displayed front and center- and it had Guy's name on it. It stated that it was a bestseller and that it's from "American Horror Sensation, Guy". They shrug and tried to feel glad that he got what he wanted. Oh well. The two of them were different people now from the college kids that shared a home, unrecognizable from who they used to be.

They remembered what they used to tell him when he had writer's block and needed the extra push: "Dude! You're good at this. If you ever get published, I'd definitely everything you write."

"Really, everything?"

"Everything. I really do like the way you write."

They buy the copy anyway, unfortunately.

#redacted audio #redacted asmr #redacted guy #slushieanswers #sweet asks

[revelca]

aggretsuko s5 was the best and the worst at the same time, and here's why.

so, the last season of aggretsuko is here, huh. it's one of my favorite shows ever and i just really want to discuss all that happened in s5 with someone. it's totally okay if you disagree with some of the stuff below, i'd love to hear your views and opinions!

so, obviously, it wasn't perfect. it was fun, but it had some issues. luckily it was better than s4 and had some really good moments, but the 2nd half of the season was a big misunderstanding. i decided to make a list out of all the stuff that bothers me:

retsuko literally got forced into politics. saying she's a people pleaser is not enough to justify it. i'm not saying "you can't do politics in aggretsuko", i'm saying that it would be better if she went "maybe i can make lives of regular office workers like me better?". and what was the politics arc for, anyway? there was no point but if you have to do it then just don't force her into that? give her a reason that would make her go "maybe it's not that bad of an idea".

why were retsuko and haida always going to a grocery store that was far away? plot hole! you see, after the stalker incident in s3 retsuko moved and i remember haida literally saying something along the lines of "the shop below keeps it safe and light at night". in additon, the building retsy lives in was shown several times and there really is a shop below her house.

remember when retsuko dreamed of being a lil blushy bride with a big smile in a beautiful dress all the way back in season 1? it was important for her, it was her dream. and in the end, haida and retsy just went with the civil marriage thing and? why?? honestly, why...

one of the biggest issues is obviously the fact that we didn't get enough about retsuko's and haida's relationship. since when were they even together?? i might've missed this part, but my point still stands - we really didn't enough about them. 5 seasons of waiting and this is what we get?? i just didn't get the feeling that haida and retsuko are actually happy and in love with each other, so them getting married so suddenly was a big suprise to me. and it's not like there weren't any opportunities for them to show affection to one another! i'm not saying they should act lovey dovey all of the time, but take for example retsuko's visit in haida's house. when they went out for a walk to the garden, he could say something like "i know it's hard, but deal with them just for today, okay?" or "sorry that i'm making you go through this. you really shouldn't have went here with me." stuff like that is what would make it feel a bit more like a real relationship and this exactly what their relationship lacks.

in the end we didn't get a single bit of info abt whether haida have found a job or not. he was supossed to get into IT and? after visiting retsuko's parents it was never mentioned again?? did netflix really just forget about it?

this isn't really an issue, but i still wonder who have hit haida with that truck. his brother said that he didn't do it but how did he even know that happened? not like haida would've told him about that considering their relationship... is, yknow.

and now, to the good stuff!! i have to admit, the 1st half of s5 was good, great even. those honestly were the best aggretsuko eps after the stalker incident in s3.

SHIKABANE ABSJSJSJ (no explanation needed) <33

haida deserved that. bro was being miserable and i loved every second of it. now he knows how tough life can be!! and that's a good thing.

as always, tadano never fails to make the show better, no matter what season is it. the thing where he bought the whole internet cafe? hilarious.

i'm bad at explaining why a show is good i was born to be toxic so that's about it haha. would love to hear others' opinions! <33

#aggretsuko #aggressive retsuko #shikabane #aggretsuko season 5 #haida #tadano #retsuko aggretsuko #retsuko x haida