#anyway the Get Scared disease is fucking stupid!!!

[maybeinanotherworld]

you know, having anxiety sucks and all but i honestly think the worst part of it is how fucking embarassing it is, like...the situations that trigger my anxiety are so fucking stupid

you guys I spent TWO WEEKS losing sleep over having to do a blood test because for some reason I was scared I wouldn't bring my health card (it is on my phone how would I forget!!) or something stupid like that and the front desk person at the lab would call me an idiot and then I wouldn't be able to do it and then my doctor would call me stupid for missing a blood test and then also somehow I would get diagnosed with leukemia and then die- I cannot do this anymore this is so fucking embarrassing

#i think that i would make an excellent doomsday prepper #because what the fuck are these scenarios #anyway the Get Scared disease is fucking stupid!!! #stop it!!! get some help!!! #i am waiting to do the test right now lol we shall see how it goes #god no one ever talks about how having anxiety is just embarassing smh #how am i supposed to explain this bs to people #anxiety #mental health #cw medical #tw medical #cw blood #cw cancer mention #tw cancer mention #abby's anecdotes #IT TOOK TWO MINUTES #all i had to do was go 'here's my requisition and my health card :)' #and they were like #'cool go take a seat' #i fucking hate this #this is so embarassing #i am okay btw guys this is lowkey kind of funny #please do not worry i am fine

[termagax]

like i think to fish theyre just both people who shouldve died a long time ago and now they arent allowed to. because they need each other. and they both crave that and resent it.

#they WANT to be so important to him that he would fall apart without then AND they resent that they cant fall apart without hurting him #they were having a perfectly decent apathetic slide into eternal misery and then he had to go and ruin it with love. whatever. #like they want to be this essential part of his life because they loooove having that power over him they really really do #and theyre mean about it too. but like. they dont like that it goes both ways #they dont like being looked after or cared about because they get too used to it and they feel themselves falling in love w him again and #they run away. and eventually they come back or he comes back to them. and they tell themselves its just transactional like #they have something he needs and he has something they want #animal sir chloe style #but just like that its like. its NOT that. they need him so fucking bad and they feel better when hes around even when they hate his ass #and espeically after they start 'working' for jr with him its like. they really really love him so bad and they hate it. #these stupid assholes making them feel alive again. making them feel FEEELINGS. liek a PERSON. eugh #and i think they hate how scared they get when something happens to roadhog. theyre supposed to know better than that basically #they feel like needing him is vulnerable because it opens the door for him to hurt them again which is why they so enjoy being the one in #control + being the one who leaves #and the one who lashes out and ect ect. but they cant help themself and they hate hirself for it. so like. well the only solution is that #you shouldve killed yourself two decades ago so i couldve wasted away mad at you like i was supposed to and wed be done with it. #fishs got a case of wanting to die in such a way where they wont take any active steps to get there #but they resent being alive and they resent every minute of pain they endure by being alive. hence the very sex booze violence lifestyle #but the frustrating thing about him is that they. most of the time. like being alive with him. so they have to endure more #more pain and heartache and frustration. and they dont want to but they cant do anything else. they cant even leave again at this point #anyways. my fishy #🐟 #they have every disease

[rajbow4ever]

my rajbow hcs, copy and pasted straight from my tt cz what else do i post...

(some of these are in full grammar for some reason?? idk all of these were from various middle-of-the-night decisions)

raj: did figure skating for a while when he was younger but stopped because people called him un-manly

bowie: tries to persuade him to try it again

raj: goes to stroke every stray animal he finds on the street

bowie: 'babe that probably has 20 diseases...' lets him do it anyway because he wants to see raj smile

raj: can talk about his interests for hours at a time

bowie: thinks its the cutest thing ever and loves to listen

bowie: owns one of those small business jewelry shops online

raj: learnt how to make little beaded bracelets for it

bowie: naturally very good with instruments

raj: doesnt even know how to hold a guitar

raj: got banned from his local arcade for raging at a claw machine

bowie: claw machine pro (gives 80% of the prizes he gets to raj)

bowie: loves pointless internet debates like how many holes are in a straw

raj: doesn't understand a single one of them

raj: didnt think narwhals were real because they're like 'unicorns of the sea'

bowie: had to search them up to prove they existed

raj: chronic weezer fan (same raj same)

bowie: listens to whatever's popular most of the time, but he listens to a lot of upbeat stuff

raj: is able to notice if bowie gets stuck in his thoughts

bowie: is able to notice if raj is stressed about something

raj: Gives Bowie cool rocks he finds.

bowie: Keeps. Every. Single. One.

raj: Was shocked to find out most people can't down five burgers after a simple hockey game.

bowie: Is just ever-so-slightly terrified.

raj: Sleeps at 9pm, wakes up at 5am - but them goes back to sleep and waked again randomly.

bowie: Sleeps at 4am, wakes up at 10am.

bowie: Took Raj to watch one of his basketball games.

raj: Was just staring, absolutely ENAMOURED, IN AWE at him the whole time.

raj: Scared of birds (cassowary incident).

bowie: Scared of spiders.

raj: Attacks every spider he sees.

bowie: Scares away every bird he sees.

raj: Surprisingly a very good cook, but is banned from the microwave.

bowie: Also a very good cook (is not banned from the microwave).

bowie: Bought Raj star-shapes sunglasses to match with his heart-shaped ones.

raj: They became his most prized possessions ever.

raj: uses stupid words like "coolio" and "awesomesauce"

bowie: "what the FUCK are you saying"

raj: incredibly tactile, loves physical affection

bowie: always initiates it because he knows how much raj love it

bowie: worries sometimes because he thinks he's 'ruining raj'

raj: took after some of bowie's snark

bowie: is good at skating, but falls over a lot so he continues to do it just for fun

raj: genuine pro at skating, if you name it as long as it's on ice he can probably do it

bowie: monopoly demon. takes the money from everyone, wins everything

raj: fairest monopoly player ever but is incredibly competitive

raj: struggles with panic attacks every now and then, wayne usually helps but he's started letting bowie see him vulnerable too

bowie: taught him fancy breathing techniques (that i don't trust myself to name)

they play 2 player princess tycoon on roblox together

bowie: kills everyone

raj: actually does the tycoon

bowie: is a big fan of horror movies but screams every time something even slightly scary happens

raj: is terrified of horror movies but watches them with bowie (he hopes that bowie will get scared and latch onto him)

raj: hates talking to the waiters when ordering food

bowie: does it for him

bowie: had an emo phase when he was way younger

raj: found his old emo clothes "HOLY SHIT??"

raj: believes in ghosts n that stuff

bowie: thinks its the most stupid thing ever (secretly believes in them)

thank you for listening to my ted talk. next post scheduled for 2025 i think

#td raj #td bowie #td bowraj #td rajbow #rajbow #bowraj #is it bowraj or rajbow... #me personally im a rajbow liker #because it sounds like rainbow #raj total drama #bowie total drama #total drama #total drama reboot #td23 #td reboot #how different is tdtiktok to tdtumblr? only time will tell.

[goldenempyrean]

Hiii can I request “You don’t need to be embarrassed, you’re allowed to be sick.” for R looking after sick WandaNat ❤️

The Two You Loved Most

〚 Notes - Hey :) Im back to writing semi-regularly things might be a bit disorganised since I have exams soon but anyway! Enjoy :D (ps my editing is trash so please ignore errors n stuff )〛

〚 Summary - Your girlfriend's catch a cold. It's up to you to look after them. 〛

〚 Wordcount -730 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

“Fucking Clint.” Natasha whined grumpily as she buried her head into Wanda who shook her head as she coughed into her elbow. 

“I blame Thor not Clint, he’s the one who brought his alien germs here.” She pouted, rubbing Nat’s back when she broke away to sneeze loudly. 

“Is the blaming still going?” You chuckled at their poutiness as you came back into the bedroom, "I'm surprised you've not started blaming Bruce yet, he's got a few interesting diseases you could catch." You jested, grabbing the tissue box and handing it to Nat. 

“I hate being all sniffly! It’s not fair, I'm meant to be the Black Widow. It's so humiliating.” She whined but reluctantly grabbed a handful of tissues to swipe against her nose. 

“Aw baby, you don’t need to be embarrassed, you’re allowed to be sick.” You murmured, kissing her forehead before doing that same for Wanda, “How are you feeling baby?” 

The witch sniffled scrunching up her nose before she sneezed twice down into her elbow 

“Oh bless you baby! I guess I’ll take that as your answer.” You chuckled, running your fingers through her hair, frowning a little as you registered the heat still blazing from her forehead, “You’re still warm...” 

“You’re warm too.” You sighed as the back of your hand came to rest against Nat’s forehead. Confusion clouded your features. You’d told them both to take some medicine, it should’ve brought their fevers down by now, unless... “Did you girls actually take your medicine earlier? It was meant to bring these temperatures down.” 

It was then that you noticed the shifty glances that your two girlfriends exchanged anxiously between each other. 

You sat down on the edge of the bed to met their shifty gazes, “What’d you do?” You questioned them further as you looked over them observing as the two of them tried to cover up the fact that they had not actually taken their medication as you’d previously said too.  

“You two! We need to keep these temperatures down, you’re just going to feel worst otherwise, You scolded them before getting up and going to your bathroom before returning with two doses of cold medicine in hand, “now you’re both going to have to take some whilst I watch since obviously the pair of you can’t be trusted to be responsible adults.” 

The girls looked at each other nervously before taking the medicine. "I'm grown up!" Wanda said defensively, breaking away to cough chestily before continuing, "I was just scared of how it tasted." 

You couldn't help but chuckle at her admission but then shook your head in disappointment. "You know better than this, my darling. The medicine would’ve helped you feel better, even if it does taste a little icky." 

Nat on the other hand had downed her medicine in one go with the biggest pout, she had grimaced in disgust at the liquid but still swallowed it nonetheless, "I don't like your stupid cold medicine." 

You rolled your eyes but either way, you were still proud of her for taking it, still, a little teasing wouldn’t hurt, “You're lucky I didn't give you the grape flavour, then aren’t you?” 

If you would’ve looked hard enough, you would’ve seen the little shudder which shook the redhead. The grape flavour was truly awful. Anyway after a little more gentle persistence Wanda too took her and you smiled happily at the pair of them, “Well done my loves, that’s going to help you feel a lot better okay? It’ll help get rid of those gross colds.” 

You watched them a little while longer, to make sure the medicine kicked into effect and was doing its job, before kissing their foreheads sweetly as you carefully climbed into the bed, nestling between the two sniffling girls. The drowsyiness of the medicine soon seemed to take hold as both your girlfriends nestled down, each resting their heads on you before they were taken into the soft grips of sleep, small stuffy snores filling the room. Taking this as a sign, you let yourself relax and you soon found your own eyes fluttering shut as you began to drift off to sleep, listening to both girls sniffle around you as they both tried to get some rest. It wasn’t long before you were asleep too, saftely nestled between the two people you loved the most in this world. 

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#wandanat #wandanat x you #wandanat x y/n #wandanat x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #natasha x wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #sick!natasha romanoff x wanda maximoff #sick!natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff sickfic #wanda maximoff sickfic #avengers sickfic' #avengers fluff #wanda x nat x reader

[rockintapper]

i say stuff about rh characters part 2two

becuase. teehee

the fir1st one

rhds tiem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!readmore jumpscare

yuka: wair i already d

that frog doll from the tutorial: I give!

note: the jumperrrr

widget: oh its you. yknow your older brother /gn akai mono likes to piss people off sometimes /silly

conductor: jj rpcker questions why you dont move and im glad i can answer her with "he does in megamix"

chorus kids: hi elleon the screaming screamers. theyre ltierally so sikly. but Watch Out

robots (fillbots): the snall one reminds me of coxmo. yall know cozmo? the lil guy and he had cubs that he plays with. and you cn like. and he. cost 200 dolar. the snall rovoNow i feel nostalgic

pop singer (erina): shhehehjdubdmyedrjguexrguderjugdexkvguuggxrwguvvjgkzhdvjgwxd

monkey (fan club): boy stop staring at me your judgemental ass lyour fuckin We're the best fanclSHUT yo stupid ass up fuckin banana lookin headasss i suppose you should jump off a cli

paddler: scare the shit out of me /half sily

blastronaut and shoot-'em-up radio lady: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

inturders: l + ratio + get blasted

captain blue bird: when i heard this lil shit go "STRETCH OUT YOUR NECK" the firsttime i was like WA IT THAT REMINDS ME OF SOMETHIGNG,,, WHHWHAHAYTFAFYA

the blue birds: ok actually. the enitre minigame takes me all the way back to the we are number one rh remix imm so df. s SADDACGFHEVVHG /POS

moai kids: doo-womp womp

moai bird: wait i though you were called seagullx

love lizards: Wonderful cnaracters, HHHHHHORIBBLE minigame. that is all. unles you uh. i mean. listen. leans c,oser to you. what if you flicked for each shake.

stomp farI HHEHDHHHHHJBJFXHEHBSDXJHB. GRABS HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM SHAKES HIM IT WAS OOONNNEEE MOOOOOOLLLEEEEEEEE OOOOONENEEEEEE MOOOOOLLLLLEEEEEEE

oh god the vegetables again: ok!

moles: pats your head. i know. hes very mean to you guys. i mean. like. i misse dlike One of oyu and stomp farmer gave me A GOD FORSAKEN ok. i know its not his fault its the games. judgement system. but the way he

tj snapper: me and the bad bitch i pulled by being autistic

tj snapper's girlfriend: me and the goofy guy i pulled by being autistic

the dazzles: stop staring at me im trting my best,,

munchy monk: i call him munchy in my head. he smiles SOOO WIDE in the battle of the bands audience hes so goofy i lov

dj yellow: SCRATCHO

dj blue: i. the lips. the lips. what have the done to you. its gonna be okay. i sure as hell am not drawing you with those big ass lips. hily s

taiko rally squad: DON DOKODOKODON DOKODOKODON kinda unfair how in the try again and ok screens this guy Loses. but in the superb screen BOTH SIDES WIN. PARTICIPATION TROPHY-ASS SHIT

research scientists of love lab: bi4bi. and if youre willing, bi4bi4bi.

the three synchrettes: alley-oop!

dolphins: oh cool dolphins :)

ecto: omg hiiiii helloo litle guyyy i wuv youuu ^_^ kises your snall tiny forehead

booboo: FUCK you FUCK you FUCK you FU

spooky: honestly? i fw him

dog ninja: i wanna cook soup wjf youbyoure soawesome and cool and i lpve you hii doggyyy hi dogy. dohyynkkgunnbuyrctib

mister eagle: thanks for telling me to cut the fruits. i was gonna do that anyway but like. shoutout to you man. props

the frogettes: jj rocker really likes you huh. cant get enough young love rock and roll even

space kicker: hi radar AAGHHHH THE SPACE!!! KI IEKR AAHH ITS HIM INAHIUIBSSYSBIYFIBYDS /VPOS

stepswitcher: love these thangs. i have several of my own thangs. the one i (mc) adore most is the purple thang. his name is mo

JJ ROCLEKEKRKMJ &*;*;&;&$-$×<;^<^<^$ UBGDEBGSCXUGBUSDXGBBHG my eif ei lvoe her so so sp sososososoos muuch foreverrr aheehee giggle. kicks my feet twirls my hair. i think i hauve covid

STUDENT ROKCKONOUCRFUIBCFEJHBGCERBGUSXD MY CHILD HE HAS EVERY DISEASE

airboarder: yeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHH LETS GO

seals: wait. whatd you do with the dolphins. where are they. say somethign . Where are thr DOLPH

smiling coin: do i know you

thr cnaract3rs from tunnel the endless game: ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i gues. but like. do you really ned a cowbell to keep driving? i mean. just record yourself playing a cowbell and like play it on the radio. just do that. why am i holding a cowbell anc playing the cowbel for YOU. do it yourselfIs she even listening to. m

glass tappers: ths Glass Tappers J SWEWR EVERY TIME I READ THR WORD "TAPPERS"

the thing from rhythmove dungeon: youre. okay. i guess. i only played your endless game once. uh it 's fine. i mean.

clodhopper pickens: youre so full of glee,, id be happy too if my business card made music,,

slot monster: tjen scdrunkly. scdunkyl. scrunkly. sc

octo-pop: WAHAHHA THE. MSUIC SO FAST

beat machine: i barely messed around with this one. it's fine . wish the crowd wasnt so judgemental thogu

beatbag I dont know this one

kappa dj: ive seen you on davidmismol thumbnails and thats basically it lel

okaye wow owwowow owowowo WOWWOWWOW

#rhythm heaven #i did Nawt mean to psot this so early. well. uh. come get your slop /j

[ughitsnic]

Baby Steps: Robin Buckley x Reader

Another kinda angsty one, from the request/ask I posted earlier. I’ll link it here

Warnings? Language and homohobia

Also really importantly Before I start I just want to say I can’t imagine how awful being openly out as a lesbian in the 80s would be. When I came out, everyone treated me so differently, girls stopped being my friend and everyone always had something negative to say. It was horrible, and compared to others my experience is a walk in the park. So whilst it’s unrealistic to the time I really don’t want to focus on homophobia because reading has always been my escape and I know that’s true for many people, so I’m going to keep it to the absolute minimum because in all honesty I don’t want to write it in great detail because it sadly is still a reality.

You were doodling in your book, and if anyone was to ask you anything about the class you wouldn’t be able to answer a single question about what the teacher had been going on and on and on about. What you did know however, was that the jocks behind you were making your patience run incredibly thin. You heard your name mentioned yet again, along with a snicker. You drop your pencil down, and spin around to face them.

“Oh hey y/n” Katie laughs, covering her mouth trying to hide the stupid smile on her face.

“Hey girlie” you say as fake as possible.

“Y/n, is it true you eat pussy?” David asks, snorting as he laughs.

“Yeah…” you look between all of them, confused.

“Gross” David laughs.

“David… are you gay?” You ponder, why else would he find the gross?

“Fuck off”

“Why would you say that?” Katie looked just as offended.

“I’m sorry” you pout. Her expression turns to confusion. “You know that you’re super handsome boyfriend over here” you motion to David. “Thinks eating out his girlfriend is gross. I bet that sucks having to fake your orgasms all the time” David’s face turns just as red as Katie’s.

“No- no I don’t” she sounded unsure, obviously lying.

“Is that a lie? David, don't be embarrassed, lots of men can’t please women in bed. It’s okay”

“As if you’d know how to” David snaps back.

“I do know David, actually. I make my girlfriend scream every night. If you need tips, don’t be afraid to ask” you wink, turning back round a smug grin on your face as you go back to doodling.

“What the hell was that?” Robin whispers, nudging your arm.

“Relax, I didn’t say it was you” you make sure to keep your voice low.

“Still! If anyone found out about-” she pauses, you let out a long exaggerated sigh.

“Your secrets safe with me” you hold out your pinky.

“You’re such a dork” she intertwined her pinky with yours.

“So are you, and that’s why we are BEST friends” you wink, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

You and Robin lived on the same street, so you always walked home hand in hand… unless other people were around, then she was quick to drop your hand… so by always you actually mean only sometimes.

“Do you want to come around for dinner tonight?” You ask her, watching how she looks around so scared that everyone was going to see the two of you holding hands.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Don’t apologise baby, my moms making fajitas tonight and I know how much you love them” you offer, hoping she would say yes… mainly so you could sit in your room and make out without the fear of someone seeing. “Then later we could go on a drive”

“Oh a drive?” She wiggles her eyebrows.

“Robin!” You gasp dramatically. “Get your head out of the gutter!” She laughs.

“Sorry I’m just curious, I overheard that you know how to make girls scream”

“That’s how it starts, just curiosity and before you know it you’ve caught the gay” you tease.

“The gay” she says dramatically.

“It’s a disease… according to David anyway”

“God he’s such a douche” she giggles, stopping outside her gate. “I’ll ask my dad, if I can come round. Wait here” you watch her rush into the house, leaving the door open ajar. You kick an empty can of cola around, waiting for your girlfriend. The new minutes felt like a lifetime. “Okay dad, see you later” Robin shouts, walking down the path. She looks around before taking your hand.

“I was thinking later we go on a drive to our spot?” You propose robin nods quickly.

“Our happy place” the way she says ‘ours’ makes your heart flutter. ‘Your spot’ was a parking lot in the next town over which overlooked the entire town and had the best sunsets.

Whilst robin was freshening up in the bathroom, you stood in the kitchen, helping out your mom,

“Hey mom, I was wondering if I could maybe borrow the car after dinner?” You ask, laying out the knives and forks.

“As long as you both wear your seat belts” you watch her dish out everything. “Also, young lady” she points at you with a knife, her cheery tone gone. “If I find another scratch on the car, it will be the very last time you sit behind that wheel” she threatens.

“Yes ma’am” you salute her.

“Oh behave” all her seriousness gone.

“Dinner was amazing miss y/l/n” Robin says, collecting the dishes and taking them to the sink.

“How many times do I have to tell you, leave the dishes to me Robin” your mom adored Robin, she always jokes about how she is the daughter she never had. Your mom definitely had her suspicions about the two of you, but never brought it up. Instead she would loudly announce she’s about to come into your room, waiting a second and then opening your door.

“Really? It’s no trouble” robin assures your mom, but she was quick to dismiss her.

“Robin, leave them otherwise you’re never invited for dinner again!”

“Are you positive?”

“Robin!” Your mother shouts, taking a long drink of her wine. “The keys are in my purse honey, both of you be safe” you take them, Robin following you to the front door. “And wear your seat belts!”

“I’ll make sure she does” Robin calls back.

“Good girl”

The journey is on the longer side, but I guess it has to be if you want privacy, so nobody from school sees the two of you out on a date, or something as simple as a drive in the evening. You groan internally as you stop at yet another red light, drumming your fingers against the wheel. Robin had her arm out of the window singing along to herself.

“Baby, look at that dog” she says excitedly pointing, you look over at the chocolate Labrador.

“He looks like Bruce” you ponder.

“Bruce? Nah, maybe” she trails off. “Tina, he could be a she you never know”

“That’s true, yet my bets are on Bruce and I know I’m right” she just hums in response.

“That’s funny” Robin giggles

“What is?”

“That you’re always right” she smiles wildly at you.

“Weird coincidence that” you shrug as robin begins to lean in to kiss you, her lips barely brushing against yours before you both jump back in your seat, the car behind you honking.

“Shit” you look up at the green light, slamming your foot down. “How long do you think it was on green?” You bite your lip. Robin turns to look at the guy in the car behind.

“Well judging at how angry he looks right now, I’m going to say a while” you shrug it off, turning the radio up, Africa by toto starting. You look over at robin, before turning it up even more.

“I hear the drums echoing tonight, but she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation” you sing, using your fist as a microphone, not hitting a single note.

“She’s coming in 12:30 flight” robin leans towards your hand, grabbing your wrist. Mumbling the words she didn’t know, you doing the same, struggling to sing because you were both laughing too much.

“Hurry boy, it’s waiting there for you!” you both practically scream, slowing down at another red light. “It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you” you both pointed at each other, faces inches apart, both windows down so both of your hair was flying wildly about in front of your eyes. “There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do!” You giggle resting your head on her shoulder. You sit back up straight, the light turning to green. As you speed down the street, you sneak glances over at Robin, a huge grin on her face as you both continue to sing at the top of your lungs. She leans over, kissing your cheek.

“I can see you staring, maybe you should keep your eyes on the road” robin suggests, biting her lip in attempt to hide her smile.

“Good idea” but you couldn’t, you continued to admire how happy and carefree she looked and couldn’t help but feel a twang of sadness knowing that moments like these didn’t last forever.

It didn’t take much longer until you were at the parking lot, the blue sky clear, apart from the deep wave of orange on the horizon. You turn the engine off, leaving the radio playing as you both get out, and leant on the hood of the car, resting your head on her shoulder, her arm around your waist.

“I’m going to say something really cheesy” you announce

“Please don’t ruin the moment”

“It’s beautiful, but not as beautiful as you” you grin, and she scrunches her nose up.

“God y/n, you get worse” she groans, playfully pushing you away.

“You didn’t like that?”

“No it was awful” she mumbles against your neck, wrapping her arms around you, pressing little kisses up and down your neck. The sound of car wheels on gravel causes robin to pull away from you, scooting away leaving just a little too much space between you. You force a smile on your face, looking away from your girlfriend and back to the sunset. Your bottom lip trembles, as a rush of emotion takes over. All you wanted was for it to be like it was, all the time, carefree, but it never will be. You understood why Robin was so scared, but it didn’t hurt any less.

“What’s wrong?” Robin asks and you shake your head. “Cmon, talk to me?”

“It’s nothing” you lie. Robin reaches over to take your hand, her thumb rubbing on the back of your hand, a small gesture to try to soothe you, until another car drives by and she drops it, shoving her hands into her pocket. You let out a shaky breath, you didn’t know how much more of this you could take.

“Do you see a future with me?” Your voice frail, you didn’t even recognise it as your own voice. You couldn’t look at robin, you keep your eyes fixed on the town below, scared for her answer. anything other than yes would break you. She rests her head against your shoulder, taking your hand in here again.

“What’s in your mind?”

“Please answer the question” you voice raspy, fighting back tears.

“I think so” fuck.

“Robin… What does that mean? I-”

“Y/n”

“No robin, let me talk” you practically beg. “I don’t want to hide forever, I’m not saying I want you to make out with me in front of everyone, but maybe you could hold my hand every once in a while?” You sniffle, taking a deep breath, unable to stop the words falling out of your mouth. “I love you Robin and I don’t want you to think this is me forcing you to come out because I don’t. I want you to wait until you’re comfortable. I- it- I” you struggle to find the words. “You, it hurts when you are so dismissive of what we have, how it almost… disgusts you? I just wish you would be more conscious of how you treat me infront of everyone” your chest was hurting, swallowing back cries. “I know you’re scared and I know it shouldn’t but it makes me feel so bad”

Robin takes a second to digest everything. “You know I don’t think before I sleek” her tone was dismissive.

“Robin please listen to me, I know that you don’t think before you speak, that sometimes you’re a little clueless and I love you for it. But I’m telling you now so please listen to me” you beg, didn’t even realise you were crying, until you taste your salty tears on your lip.

“Are you breaking up with me?” Robin's voice was hoarse, no louder than a whisper.

“God no. I want a life with you, more than anything” you stress. “I don’t want to stay in Hawkins forever, I don’t wanna get stuck here. I wanna move to the city with you, have a cute apartment, get a cat, work together in our own little cafe, like we talk about late at night. But I don’t think I can do that if you can’t even hold my fucking hand” you start to get more and more worked up, Robin opens her mouth to speek but you cut her off again. “I hate not being able to kiss you on your doorstep after a date, or walking home from work and school. I hate that our Other friends don’t even know. One day I want to tell the world I love you, I love you Robin Buckley” you shout. You choke on your tears “it’s so silly but I want the same from you, to tell the world you love me, that we are girlfriends” the silence between you was agonising.

“We will, one day” robin tries to comfort you, resting his hand on your shoulder

“I’m scared it will be like this forever” your voice wavering

“Y/n, I’m not like you. I’m scared. I see what you have to go through everyday and-“

“But we will have each other, it doesn’t matter” you were desperate at this point.

“Do you know why I fell in love with you?” Robin asks and you shake your head.

“Please don’t say it’s because I’m the only lesbian you know” you try to joke, but terrified it would be the truth.

“It’s because you are so unapologetically yourself y/n and I admired that about you. I wanted to be like you… until I realised that wasn’t true and that I wanted to be with you” she takes a deep breath. “And I do want to be like you, be able to be brave enough to tell people who I really am and who my girlfriend is” Robin wept into her hands, wiping her eyes, catching her tears on her sleeve as they fell. You pull her into a hug, she squeezes you tight, the both of you swaying. You close your eyes, breathing in the sweet smell of her shampoo, trying to calm down. You open your eyes to see another car, pulling into the parking lot, trying to move out of robin's grip but she holds you tighter. “I can’t promise I can walk into school holding your hand, but maybe one day” you smile.

“I love you Robin”

“I love you” she whispers against your neck.

“I’m sorry I just needed to get it all off my chest. I promise this wasn’t my plan for tonight”

“I understand baby” she cups your face, you look around at the other couple parked a few spaces away.

“Robin” you whisper. She shakes her head.

“I can’t be scared forever. You’re right”

“You don’t have to” you didn’t want to push her too but she shakes her head before kissing you again, assuring you she did in fact want to kiss you right now,

“Just baby steps”

“Baby steps” you repeat, breathless from the kiss.

“Now about that cat” she grins. “If I remember correctly, you didn’t want a cat”

“If a cat makes you happy baby, I'll buy you five”

“Is that a promise?” Robin asks, hopeful.

“No, maybe two” a shiver runs down your spine, now that the sun had set it was dropping colder by the minute, and neither of you were wearing thick clothes, silently deciding to get into the car. You turn the engine on, turning the heating up all the day.

“I don’t know if I said, but today with David you were hilarious”

“Why thank you, I do try… I was going to tell him I fucked his mom but that might have been too far”

“Maybe a little” you stop at a red light and robin leans over to kiss you again, you lean in for another. “Green light babe”

#robin buckley fanfic #robin buckley angst #robin buckley x y/n #robin buckley fluff #robin buckley x reader #robin buckley

[alcinas-big-ass-simp]

~ You and Lady Dimitrescu swap places ( Swap AU ) # 1~

Note: Aka like the title says it's a Swap au! Basically you are the hot tall vampire and Lady D is still a hot popular human Jazz Singer in your Village with three beautiful human daughters ( that are not flies but look the same and act the same :p )

Inspired by Justaghost111 on ao3!

• Your origins before becoming the person you are today are quite sad in fact.. You had a life threatening disease at the age of [ redacted ], you were so scared of death at the time that you came to Mother Miranda to help you with your life threatening disease

• And well, she did help all right but not quite the way you thought. After that Cadou injection your body mutated and you started to crave things you thought you would never crave..

• You grew about 9 Feet and 6 inches tall. And by the black god you couldn't even fit in your own fucking house!! You kept hitting your head against the door frames,, I mean being in the Mansion is a little better because of the higher roofs but the door frames are just a little too short so you have to crouch down to get through the door.. quite annoying in your opinion

• Now now your weird cravings.. At your mutation you begin craving very odd things in your opinion- like blood.. Oh how you craved blood, it was like your life depended on it! Wait... that sounds very similar to a vampire!- Oh yeah, you're a vampire now because of your mutation. Like your life couldn't get any worser-

• But with you having a wine business and a mansion filled with Maids plus a whole village at your disposal it wasn't that hard to satisfy your cravings but one thing was not satisfied.. You have been lonely for the past decades, centuries?.. You don't even know how long it's been since you have been able to hold someone..

• You don't have time to focus on that!, you have a wine business to keep up with and that's what you mostly do, all of your days drowning yourself in work to forget your feelings...

• Until it was getting close to your birthday, by the black god you don't even remember how old you are- But that's not the point! Your head Maid that was like a 'friend' to you decided to set up a nice celebration for you! Which included a jazz singer,, Her name was Lady D

• Lady D was quite a popular Jazz Singer in your village, you've seen a couple of her shows from your mansion but never dared to interact with her, you had better stuff to do anyways.. But now with her in your mansion playing songs for you, her hat tilted downwards to cover one of her eyes and a smirk plastered on her beautiful face as she played songs for you and dance along with the beautiful beat of those songs.

• Black god, Lady D was beautiful!. The look in her eyes and the confident smirk on her glowing face was everything to you.. She did not seem frightened or even scared of your height or the rumors that go on about you but instead she seemed quite intrigued by your height and the rumors! All day you can see her looking at you in the corner of your eye..

• Oh no no, you are not letting this chance pass up! All of your loneliness and sadness finally came crumbling down on top of you so instead of being stupid and letting this chance pass up, you told her to come meet you in your private quarters after everyone has left to their homes and all of your Maids has went to bed.

• You know you shouldn't have been surprised but you couldn't help but feel surprised when you saw Lady D outside of your private quarters like you have instructed her to do. You could feel your dead heart in your throat as you looked down at her,, “May I come in or did you make me come here just waste my time draga? Hmm?~” Lady D asked you with a hint of teasing in her voice, oh sHiT! That got you blushing..

• But not wanting to keep Lady D waiting, you quickly let out a response, “No!- I mean please come in..” At you're quick reaction Lady D couldn't help but chuckle at it! Black God who knew a person like you would react so cutely to her words. “Hm, okay draga~” She quickly ducked under your arms that was holding the door open and walked into your private quarters like she owned the place, Oh how you would instantly slice her up if she was anyone else.

• You quickly closed the door to your private quarters and walked up behind her, “Well, what did you need hm?” She asked as she turned around to look up at you, all you could do is look at her for a little bit as you lift up your big hand and put it on her curvy waist “W-well, I wanted to ask if you could,, if you wanted to- Move into my mansion..” You say, quickly looking away, afraid of her rejection.. after a couple of minutes of getting no response from Lady D, you look down at her to see her eyes wide open but then she quickly smirked

• “Well darling, I have three beautiful girls at home..” Lady D said as she looked away from you, oh how dearly would she like to take it this offer but she cares for her three beautiful little girls more then a random stranger.. “U-um,, Well! I can also get rooms for them! I have enough rooms in this Mansion for the whole entire village and if that still isn't enough I will pay you handsomely to live here with me..” BY THE BLACK GOD— You did not mean to sound that desperate—

• At your words Lady D's interest peaked even more when you said you had enough rooms and you would pay her generously to live in this big mansion, with you!.. that sounded like a deal breaker for her, “Hmm~ I think I can agree to that draga!” Oh Lady D was smirking, big and confident but you couldn't care what she had planned in mind

• For you, this was a whole new chapter in your life!, One that you want to spend with Lady D..

--------

I really hope you guys liked this! And sorry if it's long I couldn't stop writing djdjdhhs- I had to stop myself cuz I'm obsessed with this au- I might do it for the other characters too fbdhjjhdd

~ Masterlist ~

~ Request Guidelines ~

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #resident evil 8 #alcina dimitrescu #swap au #gay af tbh #au #alternate universe #x reader #resident evil #alcina dimitrescu x y/n #lady dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu x y/n

[rollingsins]

Hi! What a nice surprise to wake up to. I'm on my way to work and reading this now cause I am desperate and can't wait until my break. Let's go!

Ugh Richie get your nasty cheetoh fingers off of her! R doesn't want to catch your crusty disease.

Oh boy. R will have a bruise cause of Richie. He is dead. Tara will gut him. See ya never again, bye! 👋🏼

Lol immediately R screams. Love that. She doesn't let Richie boss her around. Good.

Oh fuck yes! Well done Sam! Even if he isn't Ghostface, she should have kicked him out anyway. Finally Sam came to her senses. Better late than never.

Ha go drag his sorry ass! Too much to drink and just saw her. What a creep he is. Seriously, can Tara please kill him?

BITCH YOU AINT NOBODYS FRIEND. NO ONE LIKES YOU YOU DISGUSTING STINKY MAN!

Oh no. Go get Tara! RUN R!

lol, terrible timing cause Tara is probably getting stabbed right now but I knew it! That stupid darn whistle was entirely useless! Take that, whistle. I won.

Uff. My heart. Tara is never scared. She always has the upper hand. Now she can't do anything. Poor baby. She's probably so scared to die and leave R. R, just throw Richie at Ghostface and save Tara. He's expendable.

Hmm. Ghostface is bigger than Tara. That's not a miracle cause it applies to nearly everyone...

Okay, I hate Richie as much as the next person but "Mister Ghostface" made me cackle in the bus. That's so stupid but funny.

Hmm. Ghostface attacked the police. So maybe not Judy? But she is even more desperate to solve the murders for Wes so that's where the frustration can come from!

Tara 🥺

DAD SHUT UP. Of course Tara wants to see R. Blood or not. Ugh, men 🙄

Lol yes. Everyone against Richie. You go Dad!

Poor Sam. YOU GO SAM YES DRAG RICHIE THROUGH THE MUD. BADASS LADY

Unless she wasn't expecting it. Someone she knew. Who de we know that can break into a house and disarm an alarm. JUDY SHE IS A TRAINED SHERIFF. COME ON PEOPLE. (I hope in right cause I can't imagine/think of someone else...)

AS IF IT'S SAM. Nah ah. She would never hurt Tara. It's Mindy before it would EVER be Sam. No way in hell. (If it is Sam I will come for you btw)

Lol Mindy is prepared! Love that. (That you need a girlfriend line feels like a call out cause I also heavily thought about who Ghostface is... I just don't have a folder)

Nope. I take it back. Don't love it. Mindy is the horror buff but she fails to see the obvious connection of the victims being linked to R, so she accused Sam!?? Not in my watch! Obviously I don't want Tara to get caught but Sam IS NOT Ghostface! Focus people and figure it out. Ugh.

Oh right the police outside! Who can control the police? JUDY HICKS.

Yes Tara, please kill Richie. Pretty please 🙏

No Mindy you're not right and if you don't shut up I will punsh you.

Being in the hospital didn't work out that great for Tara in the movie...

How adorable is it that Tara got sliced and diced yet she still wants to protect R. Murderous tendencies aside, she really is the perfect girlfriend!

Phew what a chapter. Dragging Richie is my favorite past time activity.

Onto the suspects!

Richie clearly is not Ghostface. What a shame. Sam absolutely no way in hell. The Scooby Gang nah. As if they cared that much about Wes or anyone else to get revenge on Tara and R. That just leaves Judy! Who else could it be?? Someone strong and trained to take out an alarm system. Someone who knows about Tara and R. Wes probably told her. It's her.

🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

I live for your reviews 😭 please never stop. Re suspects… everyone is a suspect

#ask #ghostface!tara #spoilers

[chilapis]

hi almandine ! i hope ur having a wonderful day ; are u taking breaks and eating well ? idk if the semesters are as long as they are for me bc i know we live in different places, but i wish u so much good luck for ur studies as the end of the academic year approaches 🫶 i wanted to ask, what kind of person is leon? what does he do, whats the world he lives in like, and how do u see him thru ur eyes? my only exposure to him is through .. online mods and gifs ive seen of him go viral, u probably know the ones LOL, but i wanted to learn abt him from u if thats okay 🫶 (@dmclr)

Our semester has pretty much come to its conclusion — my first final is in…. 18 days? Just a little over two weeks, which is a terrifying thought. I’ve been trying to see to my needs and give myself a break and here though! <3 I just hope you’ve been taking care of yourself the same way? Please don’t let yourself drown in academic or other stressors, and know that with as strong as you are, you can overcome anything.

The online mods…. Yeah, I’ve. seen a couple. They’re, something certainly. (My reaction to that information v)

What does he do? Well, he was a cop— just started his job, actually (like one day? literally one day? It was the first day?), but then pretty much got hired by The President and got employment as a government agent for the United States. Fun.

The Resident Evil world is… interesting? Kind of like if, “fuck around and find out” and, “instead of asking if you can, ask if you should” combined. There’s biological weapons running rampant, including dogs, literal zombies (but we don’t call them zombies, no), and uh…. Huge grey men?

Say hi to him. He will not die. You cannot kill him. You cannot kill anything in this stupid universe actually. My favourite Resident Evil game, Resident Evil 7 (which… ironically doesn’t have Leon in it) literally features this one stupid fucking Southern family (whom I love so sweetly) and the father, Jack Baker, just will. Not. Die. You know how in games you get to experience different boss battles? Yes, well, I don’t remember how many boss battles are in RE7, but I will tell you this: 3 of them belong to Mr. Baker ENTIRELY. He just mutates worse and worse and you keep thinking he is dead but he is NOT. You kill his wife and she dies but no, he just won’t fucking die. And then you buy the DLC and you play as the big, strong, veteran uncle who just PUNCHES THINGS INSTEAD OF USING WEAPONS AND IT SOMEHOW FUCKING WORKS and guess who the big bad is! You’ll never guess! You’ll never figure it out! That’s right! It’s Jack Fucking Baker for the fourth god damn time and now he looks even more disgusting and corrupted. Although the game did not include Leon (it held Ethan Winters, a darling father), it’s still set in the same universe so I feel like you can get a pretty good… idea from all of that, yes? Remember ! Nothing. Dies. If you think it’s dead, it is not, it is simply now More aware of your existence.

Now, onto the actual man himself.

First of all? Not related to my view on him but he’s was… kind of misogyny-coded in the original Resident Evil 4 and that makes me giggle a little but I still somehow prefer that RE4 to the 2023 Remake. I know I reblog gifs of the remake a lot and that is simply because, I mean, who doesn’t enjoy experiencing their silly guy with better graphic quality, right? But I don’t like the alterations they did to certain scenes and dialogues. Also he looked like this in the original re4 which scares me more than the undying mutated abominations so, I. Well.

(^ NOT RELATED TO THE MISOGYNY HE WAS SUFFERING FROM DISEASE HE WAS ILL)

Okay, okay, anyway…. I HATE how the fandom views him, it stresses me out. They view him as this demanding, super serious, violent, brooding man who just wants a stupid, ditzy, useless girlfriend he can dominate, control and be a creep towards but that’s… not him? Like, how do you mess up so bad. This isn’t a particular part of the fandom as much almost the majority of it, sadly.

I feel like he’d, if anything, be a “wife guy”; he has a stressful job, he is traumatised beyond belief, he looks death in the eyes on a regular basis, he lost his parents when he was young, he has went through a-lot. And yet he’s so gentle, he still believes in saving everyone. He still believes in humanity and has this hope in him. He is still… soft. I don’t think he’d be a controlling or aggressive partner; I think he just wants something comforting to come back to, and he’d be SO grateful to have a partner who sticks by him through thick or thin, he’d be so genuinely giddy while taking about them. He lost his parents for fuck’s sake and got stuck in this godforsaken infected world when he was just 21… he wants home, I think more than anything he wants to come back to a place where he doesn’t have to think, where things can be handled for him and all he has to do is let himself be loved. Praised and acknowledged for once in his (somewhat miserable, let’s be honest) life. I mentioned, while answering Lucy’s ask, that I view him as a guard dog, and I think that’s perfect for him. He exists to protect — he has dedicated himself to that protection, to offering that canopy. His aggression is never on the offence, it has never been; not once, but it is done as a protective measure. If the years have reduced Ajax to a sword then they have reduced Leon to a shield. He just wants his efforts acknowledged — he just wants praise and warmth and comfort — and yet are they ever? At-least, to the degree they deserve? He falls into a depressive state in Resident Evil: Vendetta and it stings. He is such a simple man and I genuinely believe domesticity could fix him. He has never known what it’s like to feel safe — why would anyone want to force him to be a protector even in his partnership, even in intimacy? Let him relax for fuck’s sake. Let him. know what it’s like to be on the other end for once in his life. Comfortable clothes, hand holding on a warm cup of tea rather than a gun or a knife. No news channels and no social media or nothing. Phone on DND. I do not care if the USA burns to the ground, I want him to rest his head on my shoulder and finally get the sleep he hasn’t had in years. Civilian lives can wait a few hours to be saved.

#do you understand how fucking much I hate the fandom. get your hands OFF him #🥀 — colloquy. #🫀🐕

[weebsinstash]

So i found another audiobook and this one isn't about werewolves this time but it's been pretty entertaining and has a plot a lot like some of the ideas we've discussed before but. Oh my gosh. This ML is worthy of my wrath. He's definitely not the worst person I've talked about on here but uh...

Would you be attracted to a man who makes fun of you for your appearance, and then when you have your magical makeup glow up and become more conventially attractive, he treats you significantly better, but continues to use the exact same kind of language against other women that he did towards you? To the point he even insults other women in your presence and compares them to you?

In "The Servant Marked By The Goddess", Hannah is starting her first ever job working at the palace where her mother and sisters work. Her older sisters are the favorites and Hannah is bullied by her siblings and constantly insulted amd neglected by her mother. Her mom is a personal servant of the queen and they're good friends and even when introducing her children to the queen, Hannah's mom doesn't doesn't acknowledge her, and the queen after gushing over how beautiful and talented her older sisters must be (at a FIRST MEETING) she won't even shake Hannah's hand

Because she's been bullied, Hannah has very little confidence to the point she doesn't even comb her hair and doesn't wear clothing that is appropriate sized for her, and because she is naturally curvy, people literally just straight up call her a fat pig because.... She's wearing baggy clothes? They literally just ASSUME she's fat? To the point people usually blatantly insult her to her face, INCLUDING THE ML THE CROWN PRINCE (the rest under the cut for length)

When they meet she was standing up from scrubbing the floor and he had come up behind so fast and close that the back of her head actually hits his nose and he blames her, and she falls over startled, knocking over a bucket of dirty water and he starts berating her for being stupid, fat, incompetent, clumsy, and basically kind of makes her scared to even work there, but, he's just oh so handsome and gorgeous that she kind of just takes it and cries

Also the narrator is from the UK so everyone has accents and it's in a pseudo Victorian time period so this guy is literally fucking like not even joking "oh heavens this wretched beggar is absolutely dreadful, perhaps we should throw you out back where we keep the animals since that place is surely adequate for someone of lowly birth such as you" like this is straight up Edwardian cuntery these people are hotboxing

So anyways Hannah is shown by a new friend Kyla how to dress herself up and, they have to gush about how she's perfectly curvy but not fat, not too thin, she doesn't need a ton of makeup etc etc etc, the reason this upsets me is coming up soon don't worry, so after her makeover people are treating her night and day different and Prince Nathan, since the story occasionally switches to his POV, basically gets a crush that he doesn't realize and continues to belittle her constantly and shit

So eventually we reach the big plotpoint of the story, that there's The Disease which cannot be cured, except oh wait, there's a beautiful powerful female sorceress, Princess Arya, infamously gorgeous and beautiful and oh so beloved. She's going to come to the kingdom and help heal the Disease, especially since Prince Nathan's younger brother has it. So. There was a plotpoint I originally liked. The story switches to Arya's POV and they reveal that, she actually has crippling insecurity. The "amazingly absolutely gorgeous" woman is actually secretly "extremely plain looking" to the point it actually really upsets her and causes genuine anxiety because she's supposed to be this talented princess that everyone loves and she's trying to live up to that image, so she uses makeup to "become truly beautiful"

Except no, they reveal basically a chapter later that Arya is actually a massive evil cunt and the rest of the story fully unapologetically and repeatedly makes really blatant insinuations that she's ugly because she's evil. But hey at least she's a healer right?

But oh wait, Hannah finds out she has healing powers and heals the little prince in secret. But of course Nathan gets mad at her for even going in his brothers room (unaware that she healed his brother) even though the reason was literally Nathan's fault: Hannah had been on her hands and knees scrubbing a corridor when Nathan came in with Princess Arya, kicked a bucket of dirty water over the clean floor, and also just stood there and mocked her and called her ugly and laughed at her, and some of the dirty water ran under a door and got in his brothers room and Hannah was just legitimately trying to clean up Nathan's mess

Yeah I can tell you guys definitely want to fuck this guy right?

But it gets worse because uh basically he didn't give a shit about Hannah until she was pretty, but is still pretty shitty to her, but slowly starts to defend her giving her some respect so on so forth, but like. He's literally still an awful rude bastard in general? Like to the point it cancels out any good traits?

Like. Erm. The second he finds out Arya is "plain looking" and wears "so much makeup" he actually insults her for it. Like you're literally listening to his internal monologue where he's picking apart her appearance and comparing her to Hannah and it's massively uncomfortable because you had literally just heard Arya just a few chapters ago talking about how sad this kind of thing makes her and how happy makeup makes her feel, like a shield

It. Legitimately becomes somewhat of a running joke where Nathan insults her appearance whenever they are alone and it's fucking gross. "I never said your sickly body was what was attractive, only your face, and even that is a lie. Your beauty is not even skin deep" like this is a man who the second he decides he doesn't like you, absolutely tears you apart detail by detail

There's a scene where. Arya is at dinner with Hannah and the royal family who has been nothing but nice to her, even though at this point in the story she's blatantly evil, and like. Um. I forgot why but Nathan throws tea in her face, and his friend Wesley offers her a hankerch8ef to wipe her face right? Except this is a deliberate trap to humiliate her, because she wipes off her makeup TO GET THE TEA OFF HER FACE and. I shit you not. Nathan's father who has been all but begging Nathan to marry her looks st her right in the face and says, dead ass, no irony,

"WOW, you're actually HIDEOUS"

AND THE ENTIRE ROOM LAUGHS AT HER

Like sorry I know some of you get a kick out of me sharing and tearing into these stories but this one really gets me, i mean i like the plot but this stuff is under my skin. I know we all like to go "haha that person is an asshole so I'll berate their looks" but like genuinely how is making fun of someone for their appearance not that much worse than like mocking someone for something like a disability.

It's also just the fact that this story just deadass goes "this is Nathan. He bullies the fuck out of people he thinks are ugly. He literally calls the FL a fat ugly stupid pig. He berates women for their appearance. But he cares about the poor and he's so hot, don't you want to fuck him?"

And the cherry on this shit sundae is that. Hannah. By her own confession. Completely unironically. "Absolutely adored him, even from the very moment they met" and its like GIRL YOU MEAN YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM W H I L E HE WAS BULLYING YOU???? but yeah the author really wants you to believe that by the end of the story Hannah has conquered her trauma over being manipulated and put down by other people. Sure, Jan 💀

#i just keep finding stories where these men legitimately deserve to die alone

[renlyslittlerose]

Time to get a little bit personal on my blog because I haven’t any other place to talk about my recent health issues~ Putting it under a cut because there are discussions of reproductive issues, surgery, and periods which I know can be triggering for some!

 Went in for some exploratory surgery at the start of October to positively diagnose endometriosis that I knew I had and was being treated for the past seven years. When I first went to my gyno back in 2016 about the pain and issues I was experiencing she diagnosed me with endometriosis right off the bat - she didn’t even feel a need to do a diagnostic laparoscopy because my symptoms matched almost perfectly. She put me on hormonal medication (not birth control) and I actually saw a major reduction in symptoms. Not everything was gone, but the worst of it was so I was content.

Flashforward to early 2022 and I went to visit my family doctor to discuss some health issues I was having - some of which were tied up with my ovaries and uterus. I was telling him that I was still experiencing some issues, that my medication sometimes feels like I’m damaging my body further (bone density being the biggest), and that I didn’t know what to do next. He suggested a hysterectomy. 

 So I went to my gyno who, while supportive, wanted me to be armed with as much knowledge as possible and suggested a diagnostic lap for the first time - just to see what was actually going on. So I went in for surgery (with lots of fun things happening along the way - like discovering that when I faint from seeing blood I actually have a minor fit that looks like a seizure l o l), got pictures of my insides, and was told to come back to my gyno in 6 weeks to discuss ‘my future’.

Six weeks later and: I’ve been officially diagnosed with endo and I’ve been given all manner of options. Remove my ovaries and tubes but keep my uterus, remove everything and enter early menopause, continue with what I’m doing until I enter natural menopause, continue what I’m going until I’m 40 and then have a complete hysterectomy and enter early menopause, go to see an endo specialist and have them remove what endo tissue they can. 

 And of course, all of these options carry huge amounts of risk. Entering early menopause, even with hormonal therapy, greatly increased a person’s risk of dementia, heart disease, and bone density issues (the latter which I already struggle with). As well, scar tissue has fused my uterus to my bowels, making the risk of surgery high due - if they puncture the bowel I could be on an ostomy bag. But if I do nothing I’m still abusing my body with another type of hormonal medication that’s got its own negative feedback loop. Not to mention the medication doesn’t work forever. It’s supposed to, but it doesn’t. And I cannot and will not have my periods again. It’s just not possible.

 So I decided to be put on the long waitlist to see the specialist, and hear what he suggests. In the meantime I’m going to spend the next year researching and running my brain in circles trying to decide my future, which is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I thought I’d go in, choose the complete hysterectomy and it’d be an easy one and done type thing. But it isn’t and I hate that it isn’t. I don’t want kids, I’m ace as fuck so I’ve never wanted sex so those aren’t issues for me. But it’s the potential to screw my body up even more that scares me. Like if I make the wrong call I’ll fuck myself over for the rest of my life.

 God I hate this disease. I hate that I have to have it. I hate that it’s cost me so much of my life, and that there is no quick, easy, painless fix. I hate that I had to even undergo invasive surgery to know what was really going on. It’s so stupid and useless and frustrating and I fucking hate it. 

 Anyways. I just needed to talk about it in detail. If you read this and identify with it, I’m sorry you’re going through pain as well. And a reminder: painful periods are not normal. Periods where you can’t leave your bed and you’re vomiting and shitting your guts out aren’t normal. Periods where you’re so bloated you think you’re going to break through the walls of your stomach is not normal. If you can, seek help. Demand answers. Advocate for yourself. 

💖

#personal

[aleksa-sims]

RL Sims-Story (18+)

 ⚠ !!CW!!: addiction, drugs, disease  

The day after I met my mom, it was Philip’s turn! Now I knew why I was with my parents and why I met P. that evening! He was also there at my parents. But what happened afterwards I didn’t really know yet.

I told last time, that I suddenly got these bruises/blue spots on my body again. Triggered by stress?? Because as it looked, a small part of me could remember what Philip told me, that night! It was something that scared me. My illness, of which I had no idea at that time! Just somehow, I could feel that something was wrong with me. 😔 😥 This suspicion of having leukemia has been totally haunting me until my diagnosis. Maybe that’s why I was so reckless with my life back then. 😞

Before I took P.  to Daniel’s apartment, we met up alone. He told me, what he said to me that night.... When Nico & I lived together, I went to the doctor once, because of these bruises/blue spots I had and I have agreed with the doctor, that we will see each other again in half a year, to check, if my leukocytes have increased. But since Nico and I separated, I have not gone to this doc. And now, Nico found in his car my appointment card from that doc, where all my appointments were noted, because I went there once a month to get my prescription for my pills. P. told me about this doctor’s appointment and I think this was the trigger for my bruises 😔 😞 As for Nico, Philip told me something else, 😢 but I’ll tell next time.

Me: This is my new, temporary home, isn’t it nice here?

Philip: Um, yeah! Looks cozy! I didn’t think a heroin addict would have such a nice apartment. 🤔....😄

Me: Not funny! Really not!

Philip: Yep! 😬 ......Why do you have those spots on your body again? Did someone hurt you? Or is that the same as back then?

Me: I think this is just my body’s reaction to all the stress I have and because I’m afraid to be sick. 😟

Philip: I don’t think you’re seriously ill, but it doesn’t hurt to check yourself out regularly. You don’t have to be afraid! Remember what this med prof said about your blood levels back then. All good, you don’t have to worry! 🙂

Me: But Nico thinks there’s something wrong with me. Anyway, let’s not talk about it anymore.

Philip: He thinks that because you had a few fainting attacks or passed out, when you were together, but.. you’ve never had this again! You know?

Me: Yeah. 😔

Philip: You’re the worst hypochondriac I know, but totally cute and beautiful. 😘

Me: It feels so weird when you kiss my cheek, like we’re siblings. 😄 

Philip: So now we’re siblings again, huh? 😏 You know what you & I did, when I was your stepbrother. 😉 ...😆

Me: I didn’t mean THIS! But anyway, you made me smile!...Let’s go in! And be nice, okay?!!

In the living room, Daniel & Philip had a short chat, small talk, nothing special. Daniel also asked Philip why we met him when we were so fucking high? Philip has solved this whole situation. When I was with my parents I left with Philip after a while because Daniel called me. He was waiting for me at his sister’s house, she lives on the same street as my parents. But Philip tried to persuade me to go back to my parents. At some point we were in front of Daniel’s sister’s apartment and so P. just followed me. He said, I went straight to Daniel and clinged to him as if I were afraid to be separated from him. I seemed kind of paranoid and scared to Philip. Tatiana, Daniel’s sis tried to convince D. to bring me home to my family. But I didn’t want this! After Daniel and I left, Philip and D.’s sis got to know each other a bit better. 🤨 😏

After we clarified this, we talked about other things. Philip bet on some stupid soccer game and asked Daniel if he could watch it on TV. He wanted to know if the team he was betting on was in the lead. D. was just watching Philip. I think he also found it a bit crazy how much Philip can gets upset about an offside. But I was used to  P.’s emotional outbursts about soccer. 🤷‍♀️

Philip: You really brought me luck today, A.!

Me: Then why not share your profit with me? 😉

Philip: I’d share everything with you.... How about 10%? But no, let’s say 12%!

Me: How generous?....You can shove your fucking 12 %! 🤨

Philip: Heyy, I’m a singel dad with a baby!!

Me: Yeah, I know! 😟 .....How long are you staying? You know, P., I got something to do.

Philip: You want to get rid of me. I guess you two have another drug session.🤨 But, I want to join! 😬 🤷‍♂️

Me: Forget it!! 

Philip: Hm 🤔... You look totally hot when you’re so...  jumpy! 😏

Daniel: I’m off for a while! 😒

Me: I’m so sorry, D.! 😟.... And you Philip, STOP playing with me!!! 😩  For you, everything has to be a competition! But this game here, you lost! And that’s NOT his fault! You screwed this up all by yourself! 😠

Philip: When you were with me, he did the same! He hit on you! 🤷‍♂️ I was barely gone and he had you!

Me: I get why you see it this way, but that’s not true! I’m going over to him!

Philip: No, stop!! I know what he’s doing! He’s totaly messed up! He only has that drug in mind! Why are you so into him? Don’t you see how shit he looks? Daniel gave up, A.! He doesn’t give a shit! I hit on you in front of him on purpose! So you can see how much he doesn’t care! It left him totally cold. 🤷‍♂️

Me: Not everyone goes crazy like you! You know? And now let go of me!

I went to D. in the bedroom. Philip was right! Daniel just had a line and I joined him right away. I couldn’t wait, this became a routine for Daniel and me. Every day after work, he and I got high. I apologized for Philip and told him, I only wanted him! He hugged me but Idk?😔 I realized that I fell in love with him  🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ and I wanted him to love me too, but somehow, I couldn’t feel it? 😟 

Philip still hasn’t left, he was waiting for me in the living room. When I came back to him on the couch, I was so high, that I couldn’t sit up and just drifted away...

Daniel (to P.): I don’t mean to be rude, but I think you should leave slowly!

Philip: Seriously, man! What are you doing to her when she’s like that? Do you get off on this or something? 🤨

Daniel: Don’t touch her! 😠 I am not a freak or a horny pig! You got it? 

Me: Agh...🥴

Philip (to me): A., are you ok? 😟

Me: Mhm...Pls gooo! Just go away. 😵

Daniel: So? You heard her! She doesn’t want you!

Philip: I’m gonna take A. back to her parents. And if you really care about her, you won’t stop me!

Daniel: I don’t force her to anything!! And she doesn’t have to stay with me. What should I do??? Kicking her out? If I do, she’ll go to some other drggies. That’s the way it works when you’re addicted! She doesn’t think and act the way she used to! And as long as she doesn’t resist, or intends to change, it will never stop!! You can’t help her, if she doesn’t want to! Compulsion has never worked, it just does the opposite! I’ve been through all this shit several times. And you know what? I’m sick of it! 🤦‍♂️ I’m so fucking tired and done with it! 😔.... Please just fuck off!

Philip: I believe you! 😕 The more urgent she has to leave and you should go to your sister. 

Daniel: I’m not going anywhere! But if you want to take her home, do it! I’m not stopping you. 😔

Me: Ok! Thats ENOUGH! 😩 Please P.! I beg you! Just go and leave me alone with him. I’m gonna fix this!!

Philip: You wanted to stay with your mom on Saturday! I was there! I saw it! But as soon as he called you, you were totally different. You two are not good for each other!... You know what I think? Daniel got this, but you don’t!!! 😠🤦‍♂️...I can’t force you, so I’m going! But I’m gonna keep bugging you until you don’t get it!!! 

The next day Daniel and I had our therapy session with this psychologist to which we had to go once a week. But we didn’t go and this was the second time we missed. In the beginning, Daniel took this sessions seriously, but now he didn’t care. 😔 😥 And as for his pills, he hasn’t discussed this issue with his doc yet. That he has withdrawal symptoms. So I’m gonna have to talk to him, because his doc is gonna wonder why we’re not going to our therapy sessions. Worst case scenario, he’s gonna kick us out of the drug replacement therapy. And if so! I’ll also get withdrawal symptoms. 

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#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #my rl with my simself #simself #myrlgameplay #18+ content #cw drug use #cw addiction #cw disease

[0l0x]

So mom called me at 2am while I was dead-ass asleep. This isn’t unusual. I decide not to answer my phone because it’s always some dumb bullshit and I figure it can wait until morning. I’ve told her before not to call me after dark unless it’s an emergency, but she ignores me and always wakes me up to fix her computer or find her makeup bag or whatever, because her definition of “emergency” is jacked the fuck up. She leaves a voicemail saying there’s a racoon on her porch and apparently this is an “emergency”.

I sigh and call her back, just in case. She’s in full panic-mode, telling me to go out there and chase the racoon away because it’s going to “eat her fish” in the pond. I tell her it’s pitch-black outside, it’s 30 degrees, it’s 2am, I’m not awake, I’m in my pajamas, and I’m not going out there to antagonize a possibly diseased and aggressive animal.

“IT’S EATING MY BIRD SEED! IT’S GOING TO EAT MY FISH! GET OUT THERE AND SCARE IT AWAY BEFORE IT BRINGS ITS WHOLE FAMILY!”

I tell her no again, because that’s dangerous and completely pointless. We live in the country, there are animals here. Also the pond is frozen so it can’t eat the fish. I advise her to stop throwing huge fistfuls of bird seed all over the porch because this is what happens. I’ve told her that many times before and she always ignores me, continues to do it, then acts shocked when she gets rats and raccoons. She whines and pouts and tells me I’m being useless and mean to her. Whatever. Click.

Next morning. I spread cayenne pepper on her porch and bird feeders to repel the raccoon in case it comes back. The whole time she’s bitching at me because it’s “going to hurt the birds!” I try to explain to her that birds can’t taste hot things. She’s telling me she “doesn’t believe that” despite me showing her proof online, and continuing to bitch and moan. She’s chewing me out and trying to tell me it’d be gone for good if I just went out there and hit it with a rake. I didn’t even dignify that stupid shit with a response. I warn her not to let the dog out after dark in case the racoon comes back, which it definitely will until it gets a mouthful of cayenne.

Next day. She lets the dog out after dark just like I told her not to, despite seeing the fucking raccoon out there 5 minutes beforehand. She calls me and wakes me up around midnight. “THE DOG IS FIGHTING WITH THE RACCOON! GO SAVE THE DOG!”

I tell her no, I’m not getting in the middle of an animal fight, especially not in pitch-black darkness. She gets mad at me for this and tells me I’m "antagonizing her” and “being combative” and “not helping”. Eventually the raccoon gets away and the dog comes back with some scratches. I call up her tenant who lives in an RV in the back yard and ask him to go help tend the dog’s wounds because he’s up all night anyway and I just woke up from a dead-ass sleep.

The dog is totally fine, btw. But I’m a mean, useless, shitty daughter for not throwing myself between that dog and a wild raccoon while they were fighting in total darkness.

THIS is what I mean when I say my mom is an unreasonable idiot. It’s shit like this. Constantly. 24/7. It just doesn’t stop. This is what I deal with literally every fucking day. THIS is why I moved away when I was a teenager. This shit right here. She does the stupidest fucking things a human being can possibly do in every situation, chaos results, and then I have to mop up all the aftermath. The stress she causes me is unreal.

As soon as I moved back in with my mom, I feel like I stepped into some wack-ass clown world where everyone is insane, and it’s making me question my own sanity at times. Like...this isn’t normal, right? I’m not the one being unreasonable here, RIGHT?

#journal #do not reblog thanks #just venting

[37q]

eating disorder tw but its not the main focus rly i dont think hm wait ok maybe.. mostly gender talk actually

anyways personalizing "it's incredible what women will come up with if left to their own devices" for a sec: ive had trouble articulating this recent phenomenon in my life but lately ive been working on the values i hold "capability" to and the ways that i allow those values to make decisions for me instead of just living life with whimsy.

still caught up in optics as ive always been maybe as a disease of childhood transness but far better than i used to be and yet! im always weighing how material, physical empowerment will be gendered! i saw a quote a while back from like this one transfems lil memoirs and a conversation she had w a friend abt their eating disorder i think? and the friend was like yeah i mean transition and life as a woman has been excruciating enough already but whats another pain if itll help me pass? or whatever. im so scared of gaining any mass anywhere above my waist!!! i wanna throw up thinking about it!!!! oh my god ive never said that before i feel so sick!!!!!

anyways i struggle w NOT presenting weakness or frailty when im fearful of a gendering Eye of Patriarchy or fuckin. male panopticon inside my head but thats the thing! 🥰 ive been divorcing from that panoptic on my head lately! its still there lowkey but my drive to make my life better has been overcoming that adolescent "avoid male interests at all costs" fear :)

so now im like fascinated by like engineering again im thinking of ways to produce more effective hand rests on the bottom of my steering wheel (maybe i wont even have to remove the plastic on the wheel if im good enough at making sockets? for the rests if i make them attachable via clip :3c) and ive been making moves to get into woodworking and throwing together rudimentary furniture which is just so different than what id previously felt abt it. ive been fixing things so often lately like OBSESSED with getting tools for problems i understand 40 year old dads now. that thought is what kills me n saves me tho interestingly enough

what had previously been like a grand gendering process of establishing my princess status (its still there tho) had actually just been reinforcing the unhealthy habits i used to get there in the sense of physical and emotional weakness -- going largely untreated for like 3 or 4 disorders which either obliterate my prefrontal cortex, the integrity and efficacy of my synaptic response in neurotransmission, or my reception of the macro resources necessary to maintain basic body function to name a few... but like theres something to be said for how explicitly gendered it is to be starved-stupid crazy weak and feminine as fuck. not assigning values to those terms (anymore) i was just like leaning into being insanely unwell and calling it a gender role. which tbf is like the predominant myth ALSHSLFHDKD...

... but also im working on stepping away from internalizing a relationship w the myth of gender and using that reaction as my behavioral starting point! (affirmation and argument time) im not a man, i wont even trip and fall into manhood no matter what endeavors i pursue! no matter how much goes on in others ppls heads! there is no way to look at or engage with the world in an explicitly man way because life doesnt actually function on categorical dualities, not to mention bimodal distributions! and thats lesbianism (and therapy) at work! like no presumption of a male occupation of an Entire Sector Of Life And Economy and working on that latent projection of gendered insecurities (and thus production of gendered karma in my materialization of such a projection via action or inaction) onto a life thats literally Just Life Dude. i literally make it. the future doesnt exist yet and the only value it has it the karma we bring to it and take from it!

huge mood change ugh solemn now im forgetting the śūnyatā of the self, the śūnyatā of its form, the śūnyatā of the conception of form itself... of course its only determined internally via extant thought forms and reproduced via tangible, material projection... thats literally the whole racket! of course im suffering with it!!!!!!!!

sooooo yeah im working on recognizing impermanence and encouraging WWP (wonder whim play) just as long as i dont root it in a sense of stability or security! currently that security comes from my sense of any (patriarchal obvi) gendering processes at work in any social situation at hand so i could work on 1. shallowly, my proximity to men or 2. conventionally, my personal processes of projection and reaction to a psychological proximity to men or 3. ultimately, my necessity to ground my "sense of self" in an illusory, impermanent, and universally imprisoning process extant to saṃsāra such as the social mechanisms of gender. i dont even have to fight to have a name for what my wife n i got goin on not because its too complex or too hard but literally i dont care. my words are as empty as yours

#freeform

[pumpkintheriddlemaster]

do you have a favorite tma episode? :)

I’m so sorry this took me so long to get too, I just had a hard time trying to pick?!?

I couldn’t choose so now I’m gonna make it everyone else’s problem in this text response.

Like ok, the first that always comes to mind is MAG 65: Binary and MAG 74: Fatigue.

Binary because the thought of an Internet creepypasta being a real actual thing that exists in universe is the funniest thing imaginable.

Also how lovely the story is told! God such a good episode.

But like, there’s also Fatigue which like, keeps popping up in my mind low key only because there was a Uquize that gave you “what statement giver you are” and I got Lydia Halligan for ep 74 and it’s stayed rent free in my head so now it’s one of the few episodes that pop up in my head when someone asks.

Also that and you can feel the fact the jonny wrote this sleep deprived, bless.

I also, unfortunately, live in a constant state of fatigue so much relations to be had 😔.

BUT WAIT!!! THERES MORE???

Yes there’s more I love horror.

MAG 177: Wonderland is my absolute #1 fear and actually concern irl so I tend to actually really like and really relate to it? Like my body is in pain a good percentage of my time alive and more things keep popping up that are Concerning!™️ but going to the doctor about it gives me pause because of past experiences. I’ve also straight up broke down when I came home once because of anxiety and the fact that I Hate Being Touched And Doctor Had to Poke And Prod At Me And I Didn’t Like How I Was Spoken Too And So Much More ;-;. It’s just a good episode that Hits, me, in the face, at Full Speed!!!

Other eps I like for no other reason other then “Vibes Hard” are 24: Strange Music, 81: A Guest For Mr. Spider (huh I Wonder Why), 87: The Uncanny Valley (lmao), and 22: Colony (lmao I wonder why that one as well)

Also another I like for funny reasons is MAG 165: Revolutions because of someone on tumblr put the statement to a lowfi beat and it fucking ruled.

There are probably more that I might like more but it’s been a while since I’ve listened as I have the “can’t really pay attention or enjoy anything I like lately if I’ve already heard it before even if I really really really like said thing” disease. Which I believe comes from the depression side of my ADHD :/

(This has also started to effective my enjoyment of new things as well. :( man :( my brain sucks :(...)

So my rule of thumb is, if I remember it and it’s not the first few eps then it’s up there on my list!!! :D (because the first eps are truly sooooooooosososo good!) I also left out any that just had moments I liked after the statements as I wanted to focus on the statements and horror stories themselves! Not just for my undying admiration and love for Asexual King Jon Jarchivist J Jim’s and Martin Kartin Blackwood. Oh how I love them dearly <3

I can however tell you the ep I absolutely can not listen to again tho!!!

No matter how many time I relisten (or attempt to, stupid brain) I can never listen to MAG 6: Squirm ever again! I just can’t! My sex-repulsed ass was already second-guessing listening when I heard the episodes description for the first time. And then it got worse as I listened because EW GOD NO WHY EW. Like ew god the implications??? 😨 like I already think it’s gross but the worms make it more gross and horrifying. I already remember all the relevant information form the first time around! I don’t need another go! thank you! Have a good day!

Also side note, not anywhere near my favorite or least favorite (tho I can still relisten to it, mag 6 is the only one I can’t) but MAG 172: Strung Out scares me. Not in a “I relate to this” kind of way, I have never done a drug in my life and find it to be a waist of my time, hell I don’t even drink for the same reason. (Plus looking at my ADHD and some of my heritage, I’d be much more prone to addiction anyways.) To me it’s a waist of time and money and not something I care for as, surprise! I don’t like losing or being out of my own control! This ep scares me the same way it would probably scare Mr. GhostHunter Shane Madej.

Anyways! There’s my TMA episode thought! :D

#asks #tma #the magnus archives #MAG episodes #I really love horror and listening to spooky Audio :) #thank you for asking this it was fun!!!

[skelingtonsderek]

Ok this is gonna be long and without form I just want to talk without worrying my friends about the hellish fucking time I've had this past 7 days.

Early last Tuesday the city I live in experienced the largest amount of rain it has in over a century. The smaller municipality I'm in delayed opening the sewer for so long that my street was under several feet of rain.

Behold

We got a little lucky in that the way houses were built in the neighborhood was a couple feet above street level. The water made it up to the top step of our porch. If the city waited any longer, if the rain had kept up, I'd be homeless, and have lost every single thing I owned.

Instead, I lost everything in the basement garage which had fully flooded from floor to ceiling. It wasn't much but it was enough. It was my washer dryer my water heater my air conditioner and it should have taken out my circuit breaker. It didn't and that's now full of water and living on a knife's edge and the other side of the knife is the house gets taken out in a fire instead of the flood

We are experiencing a heat wave. Which is not something that our area gets like this. Hot for here is 80. Very hot for here is 85. We've gotten up to 98 this past week.

With no ac. With no hot water. With no way to clean our sweaty disgusting clothes. With a land miser who texts everyday and promises this day is the day he'll get the restoration crew out to clear out the basement and make way for the brand new water heater and HVAC he's promised he's ordered.

7 fucking miserable days of having to constantly check how much water I've had, if I've eaten right, if despite my extra efforts if my medications have shoved me down the hill of heat exhaustion and dehydration anyway.

7 fucking days of managing 4 different fans and 2 mini swamp coolers to try to make my living space even remotely hospitable. It still reached 92 in there before some friends helped out and dropped off a portable air conditioner for us.

Oh right yeah. They had to drop it off because both mine and my partner's cars were totaled by the storm completely inoperable and towed off because they're nothing but scrap now. Trapped in a 90 degree apartment in one of the least pedestrian friendly cities I have ever been to

With TWO chronically ill disabled elderly cats who are too stupid to drink extra water when they're hot. Who suck at drinking water like we had to find a specific type of water fountain for them because they got more water on the floor and the top of their head than in their mouths.

One is arthritic, has kidney disease, and hyperthyroidism and JUST returned from the vet loaded up with NSAIDS, thyroid meds, and more arthritis medicine than the cat gods ever intended for a cat to have

The other is blind, diabetic, and so anxious that he gets scared by his own farts. Little guy couldn't find his way out of a paper bag with someone holding open the exit and trying to coach him out I wish I was joking

Have you ever tried to get a cat to do anything? Have you ever tried to give a cat a bath? How about periodically dipping their little arthritic paws into water you can't warm to a cool but not frigid temperature that isn't as distressing in order to help them cool down when it gets so warm you fear their tiny stupid hearts might give out?

It's been ice showers and constant noise and oven hot skin and chasing down elderly cats and calling insurance companies for cars and renters and chasing down gas company employees because there's a gas smell from my apparently illegally reignited water heater that my land miser should not have turned back on instead of replacing and constantly ordering food because I can't bare to cook and long days and longer nights because I can't sleep in the noise and the heat and the smell

The fucking smell of sewage and rain water and every basement and car and lawn and garbage can that got knocked over or floated down the road. The fucking smell. The constant smell of rot and wet and mold and shit and hot bodies. Hours and days and a fucking week of smells.

I was at my limit on day 2. I am so far beyond it that I feel gutted. I had groceries delivered a few days ago and the delivery driver said our neighborhood looked like the walking dead. I certainly feel like it. I just want it to stop.

#ignore me #I'm just complaining #ursa look at this it's our life story