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littlebugs · 11 months

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How are you??

Can I request a Kylo Ren x reader where the reader is Kylo’s soulmate and Rey’s older sister and the reader is a very powerful force user and the reader, Kylo and Rey all fight together to defeat the stormtroopers who want to kill Kylo so the reader uses the force but is overwhelmed by it that the reader releases a massive energy blast and passes out but Kylo catches the reader in his arms and carries the reader back to his shop and Rey gets worried about her older sister and Kylo calms Rey down and they all go to the resistance base and Finn, Poe notices that Kylo is carrying the reader in his arms but asks Kylo if the reader is ok and gently places the reader on his bed and waits for the reader to wake up.

meet me on the battlefield

warnings: injury, fluff, light language, fem presenting reader (she/her pronouns), NOT CANON

i want to make our reader Rey's half-sister (fathers side) so she still has palpatine blood, but you can imagine the other half to be any race/ethnicity) lmk if i missed anything (:

a/n: ok so i switched it up a tiny bit because you said kylo and not ben and i got confused 🤨 summary: reader is a rebel like Rey, but Kylo has a force connection with her. they're fighting in battle against the First Order but reader uses the energy blast, and kylo senses (?) it. anyways he brings her back to the rebel base and everyone's like wtf. etc.

past

You hated him. You really hated him. But he grew on you.

The first time you had seen him it was a shock. You were getting ready for bed, in the Resistance base in the middle of a godforsaken rain forest (you were thinking you would much rather be on a ship,) and he had appeared.

"For Kriffs sake, did Rey steal my lightsaber again?" You cursed as you shuffled through a pile of clothes in the corner of your tiny room on the Resistance base. You sneezed and stumble into a second pile of clothed as some of the forest air entered you lungs. "Allergies" you cursed as you had shut the small window in the corner of your already stuffy room. Wiping your nose on your arm, you just started to turn around but were met by a familiar, and terrifying, helmet.

"Oh no." You whimpered and backed away, heading to the door. "Can you see my surroundings? I can't see yours." A voice far to sinister to be General Leia's son said. Although you could, in fact, see his surroundings, (which happened to be his bedchamber) you say nothing. Until he called your name. "How- how do you know that?" You shudder, wishing you had your saber. "I can feel you through the force. The Dark Side of the force." He countered, still standing ominously in the corner of your room.

"Where are you?" he demanded, modulated voice sending shivers down your spine. "I-I cant tell you..." you uttered, as the walls seemed to blur and shift around you with every step Kylo took forwards, coming closer to you by the second.

"SHIT" you screamed as the door banged open, revealing Poe standing in his flying uniform. "You're jumpy today" Poe laughed as he looked at your terrified expression. You quickly turned back to look at the spot where Kylo had been mere seconds ago, absolutely bewildered, seeing nothing.

After that, he visited you.

every. single. night

It started off with him scaring you as you were preparing for bed. Then after a shower. Then before a shower (that one was particularly uncomfortable.) After some time, Kylo just became part of your nightly routine, like brushing you teeth. He popped up out of nowhere, scaring the living daylights out of you, sometimes not talking, sometimes ranting out the First Order or some General named Hux. But there was simply one constant that was never broken. The mask stayed on.

Your daily live stayed the same. Well, mostly.

present

The First Order was attacking the base. THE First Oder was attacking the base. This could put everything into jeopardy. The lives of everyone here. The lives of your allies across the galaxy. Your friends. But the only thing you could think about was him. Kylo. You shouldn't. You really shouldn't. But as you strap your saber onto your belt, and prepare you multiple blasters, you can't help it.

*What if I get to see his face?*

But you can't be thinking that. "I'm not a foolish schoolgirl anymore" you mumble under your breath, unaware of the presence behind you. "Oh really?" A modulated voice interrupts. "For Kriffs sake I told you to stop sneaking up on me Kylo." You turn, annoyed.

"We're laying siege to your camp." He muses, tossing his sabers hilt from hand to hand. You groan. "No need to talk like a medieval war-lord Ren." He laughs. He laughs like he isn't about to probably slaughter half the people you know.

"Meet me on the battlefield."

The fighting goes by in a blur. The masks make it easier to destroy the stormtroopers. It makes them less human. You've probably been engaged in open combat for the better part of an hour. You consider retreating from the front lines back to the base. There's no way the meager army can hold the Order back for much longer, and the last evacuation ships are about to fly.

Until. Until you see Rey, at the end of a blaster. No running away now, you think, as you sprint towards your half-sister. But it's too late. Well almost. You're too far. So instead of physically fighting the trooper, you reach into the force. You've scarcely been trained, but you manage to knock the blaster as well as trooper to the ground. And consequently pass out.

Unaware to you, Kylo feels it. He feels you use the force, and then, just stop. He freaks out. He all but pushes Hux to the side to exit the command center. "Bloody hell Ren! Can you just-" Hux starts before Kylo pulls out his Saber. He basically rips the door off its hinges, and readies himself. As he enters the hangar he hopes nothing happens to you. As he slides inside his Silencer he hopes he's not too late.

He races to the planet at full speed, and upon arrival, stomps out onto the battlefield, combat boots squelching through the blood and earth, cape flowing regally, helmet intact.

Resistance fighters call into base warning General Leia, and Han, along with Poe, Finn, Rey (still recovering from a near death experience,) and an assortment of others trying to take all valuables out of the base.

You're passed out on the battlefield. Well, sort of. You're dimly aware of some tall, masked figure picking you up, and storming into what looks like the base. "Wait a damn minute," you think as you jerk back into consciousness. "KYLO?" you scream, squirming in his arms. "Shut up" The modulated voice, commands, and you obey, simply happy you haven't been killed yet. He marches through the rebel camp, all but deserted, to where you direct him too. Which happens to be where his mother is.

He kicks open the door, only to be greeted by inhabitants frozen in shock. "My son..." Leia starts, but is cut off by him. "She's injured. I'm putting her here." He booms, voice much to loud for your ears. "You've got some nerve walking in here, mask boy" Poe cautions, obviously angry but very confused. "Shut the fuck up." Kylo interjects, setting you down. Then he takes off his mask. He takes of his mask.

He's..... beautiful. Luscious hair, aquiline nose, brown eyes and full lips. Reactions around the room vary. "How old are you, 25?" Finn shrieks. A withering stare from Kylo shuts him up. "So... son-" Han begins, "Don't call me son." Kylo immediately shoots back at him. "Are we going to uh.. call off this attack, yeah?" Han questions hopefully. "No." Kylo states, unbothered, focusing on starting to bandage your wounded arm. You're partially conscious, but aware of the bickering room. And Kylo's face. "Are you guys, like, a thing?" Poe asks reluctantly, speaking on behalf of the whole room. Kylo doesn't respond. He doesn't know what you are.

After assuring you're safe, he leaves without a word, returning to his Silencer, and then to the Finalizer.

He knows, one day, he'll have you.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren fluff #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren fic #star wars

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somewhereontheeastsideofsorrow · 8 months

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we all burn, burn, burn, and die. Chapter 1 - I wanna hear my father say that he loves me.

masterlist chapter 2

AU where Mattheo's dad isn't voldemort, (voldemorts last name isn't Riddle), him nor the slytherin boys are deatheaters, they all live in a neighbourhood/village type thing together with a few other people. Readers parents is loyal to voldemort but not her. She is a Gryffindor, and I will be using she/her pronouns throughout the story.

Story Summary: Y/N King is dating Mattheo Riddle, but Y/N is forced to make a decision by her father and voldemort himself that ruins everything. Will Y/N and Mattheo find their way back to each other in the end? Will Mattheo understand? How does Y/N cope with all the gut wrenching shit I put her through?

The date is September 1st 2022, so it's a modern Au e.g. they have phones etc

Warnings: Y/N's dad hits her once - doesn't go into detail, Y/N and her siblings feeling uneasy around their dad, swearing, use of the word mudblood. If I missed anything let me know.

When I wake up, my arms stretch out reaching for Primrose's warmth, since she crawled her way into my bed last night, only finding the cold, soft sheet underneath my hand. I sit myself up finding her up and ready for the train.

"Quick! Get out of bed" says an excited Prim, "The train leaves in 3 hours and 2 minutes" looking at her watch Thomas and I got her for her birthday.

"Calm down ducky, like you said we have 3 hours and 2 minutes til the train leaves" I say. She's been waiting to go to Hogwarts since the day me and Thomas left for our first year. She climbed back into my bed and tightly held herself against me.

"Y/N/N" she says in a whisper, "What if I don't get into slytherin? Is Dad gonna be mad?"

"Don't worry little duck, you'll be fine" I say to her as I wrap my arms around her, "If you don't get into slytherin we'll figure something out". She nods her head as she rests on my chest, time passes by as we slowly nod off to sleep clutching onto each other.

------

A knock on the bedroom door wakes us both up "Get out of bed you two, you have to leave soon" says Arlen

"How long do we have?" asks Prim as she yawns herself awake.

"5 minutes before we leave to the portkey"

"5 MINUTES" shouts Prim, "hurry up Y/N/N, get dressed" she says as she jumps over to her luggage and starts dragging it down the hallway.

"Yeah, hurry up Y/N/N" mocks Leo as he walks past the door "Get dressed".

"Shut up Leo, you little prick" I mumble

"Oi I heard that" exclaims Arlen. I poke my tongue at him childishly and shut the door in his face so I can get dressed. Arlen's probably the closest thing I have to a real father figure but I would never tell him that though.

------

I walk down the stairs towards the boys and Primrose.

"Finally Y/N/N" says Finn.

"About time" complains Thomas as he walks over to me as he grabs one of my bags. "Are you exci..." he paused mid sentence and his face fell as he looked at the stairs as our father walked towards Primrose, Dad put his finger under her chin to lift her head up to look at him, he paused before he said.

"Don't fuck it up, get into slytherin" he leans down and whispers something in her ear, she looks at me with a worried look on her face, he goes to lift his hand up to touch her face, I take a step forwards towards them but Thomas puts a hand on my shoulder pulling me back against his shoulder as he whispers reassuring things in my ear that he won't hurt her. Dad leaves Prim, walks over to me and grips my chin.

"Behave" he says as he grips my face harder,"I don't want to have to come into your school again because you have been fucking around with those mudblood friends of yours. Am I understood?"

"They're not mudbloods" I mumble under my breath. Before I know it I feel him slap my face.

"Answer me!" he shouts. "Am I understood Y/N?"

"Yes sir"

"Good" he lets my face go and starts to walk back up the stairs "I don't know why you hang around those silly little mudbloods so much anyway" he mumbles as he walks away.

We all walk out the front door to head to the portkey with a heavy silence hanging over our heads, Thomas wraps his arm around me as we walk to the portkey.

"Are you okay?" he asks

"Oh I'm just great Thomas"

"I don't appreciate the amount of sarcasticness coming from your mouth at the moment young lady" he smirks as I give him the finger. "So what I was gonna say before father rudely interrupted was are you excited to see Mattheo?" he says as he wiggles his eyebrows mockingly.

"Yeah she is" says Finn "I bet she can't wait to give him a big fat kiss"

"Shut up Finn, but your right I can't wait, but I bet you can't wait to see Cedric"

"Y/N!!" Finn says "He's not even my boyfriend" he says rolling his eyes.

"Ummmm yes he is" Leo and Prim say at the same time.

"No he's not"

"Then how come you wrote him a letter asking him to be your boyfriend?" Prim replies

"Yeah then when he sent a letter back you were so happy you fell off your chair during the deatheater meeting" Leo remarks.

"How do you two know about that, you guys weren't even in the meeting?" Finn says blushing.

"Well Arlen told us you fell off your chair when you got a letter, so we went to your desk to try and find the letter and we did". Prim says

"Yeah, you're not very good at hiding things, are you, Finny boy?" Leo says, snickering.

"Oi you little shits" Says Finn.

"Language, lover boy," says Arlen, "And hurry up, you lot. We're almost at the portkey." We arrive at the portkey and place our hands on it, it transports us to a ally beside Kings cross station. We all walk out from the ally around the corner to the doors of the station, when we enter there is a mixture of muggles and alike all racing around to get to their train. Arlen leads the ways to platform 9¾ as Prim grabs my hand.

"Are you alright little duck?" Thomas says.

"Yeah, just a bit nervous" says a worried Prim.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine."

"That's what Y/N/N said".

"Well as usual Y/N/N is right" I say, Prim laughs and gives me a hug. We arrive at the entrance to the platform and one by one we run through the wall to the other side. Seeing families hugging and kissing their kids goodbye, then hurrying them onto the train. We walk past a mother and a father telling their daughter they love her, I see Prim looking at them curiously.

"Prim, on the train are you gonna come sit with me and Thomas or do you want to go and sit in the first year carriage?" I ask.

"I wanna sit with you guys" Prim says trying to hide her smile.

"OK, but are you sure you don't wanna go and make some friends?" Asks Thomas with a waiver of concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, I really wanna meet Mattheo," Primrose says, giggling. Arlen stops walking and calls us all over to him.

"OK shitheads" says Arlen. "Be good, don't get in trouble, I'm looking at you Missy" he says pointing towards me.

"Why me?" I say shocked

"Hmm, why you? Last year you got detention on the first day of school!!"

"In my defence, it was on purpose and it was a bet with the weasley twins, the first person to get detention as soon as they can within the first school week, wins"

"What'd you win?"

"A chocolate frog."

"Really? All that for a chocolate frog?" Says Finn

"Yeah and bragging rights"

"Bragging rights for what?"

"Winning, obviously Finny boy"

"Don't call me Finny boy"

"OK, OK we have gone very off track, what I was gonna say was be good, don't get in trouble and that I love you all." Says Arlen

"Awwwww thanks Arley Warley" mocks Leo

" We love you too, Arls" Prim says. We all said goodbye to Arlen, we started to walk onto the train, Arlen saw that I hesitated a second before I started walking.

"Y/N" He said.

"Yeah"

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, but are you going to be OK by yourself with him?"

"With dad? Yes I'll be fine and i'm not alone, I'll have mum."

"OK Arls, be safe."

"I will, I love you kiddo."

"I love you too"

I turn back towards the others and step up knto the train Finn and Leo go their own ways to find their friends. Prim, Thomas and I all head to the back of the train where we usually sit.

"Y/N/N?" Primrose says quietly

"Yes, ducky?" I say

" Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Of course"

"I'll go ahead and find our friends" says Thomas, he walks away. I pull Prim into a empty compartment so we can talk.

"What is it Prim?"

"Are fathers supposed to say I love you to their kids?"

"Yes, I guess so. Why's that Prim?

"I heard that girls dad telling her he loved her and it just got me thinking."

"Well I bet that she doesn't have as much brothers who love her as much as you do hm?"

"No, I guess not" she giggles

"You know when I was little, I would always think about how i wanna hear my father say that he loves me but then I realised that I have more than a fathers love I have all of my brothers love and my amazing little sisters but especially Arlen's because he loves us like we're his kids doesn't he?"

"He does!" Says Prim happily."

"Come on little duck, let's go find Thomas before he sends an army to come get us"

"Ooo, yay! I can meet Mattheo." She squeals, I laugh at how excited she is, as we keep on walking to the back of the train.

------

Chapter title was from the song Overtime by Zach Bryan

And I wanna stay humble, I wanna stay hungry "I wanna hear my father say that he loves me" I never gave a shit about being arrogant anyway...

#WABBBAD #hufflepuff #slytherin #blaise zabini #dorcas x marlene #draco malfoy #everyone lives au #harry potter #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle #mattheo riddle x reader #lorenzo berkshire #tom riddle #gryffindor #hogwarts houses #slytherin boys

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narcissisickk · 18 days

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(🍵) ok so intro but like for the alters. I’m probably unaware of others idk if they exist so maybe they do. but so far there’s:

-me (tea 🍵). I’m 14 and I’m just a human yk. my pronouns are they/them. I’m non-binary, aroace, and bisexual. I’m trying to depict us, ok? don’t judge. or do. I don’t care. (gatekeeper) (host + teen alter) -then we also have zai which is the host, and he’s bodily a minor and so far the only therian here. they asked me not to share his age though. xyr sign off is 🌈 and mew goes by they/he/xe and other neos or xenos but NO SHE/HER. zai has npd, apd, audhd, ocd, cPTSD, OSDD, selective mutism and anxiety with tic disorders. all alters share the same disorders. it’s a cat/wolf therian and alien otherkin. omnigender and genderfaunet. he is all sexualities and aroace, lithromantic, afamilial, caedfamilial, and noetiromantic. pro/com/darkship.👇

(teen alter) -finn (🕊️). it/its. it’s 19 years old I think. Its asexual, multigender, and pansexual. it’s a wolf therian and neutral on com/pro/darkship. all of us are furries. well all of them. not me (🍵). honestly finn and zai are so similar. I can’t tell them apart. they should also thank me for spending so much time on making my depictions of them.

(teen alter) -eli (🌿). eli is 16. eli’s pronouns are his name and he/they. they’re aroace and lithromantic. eli and zai have a sort of romantic relationship but not rlly. eli is pro/com/darkship like zai.

-we also have a pretty unknown one but they are a fictive in a way. they are a self insert for jjk but are still in our system. their name is Zai, shared with the host. their signoff is 🌙. they/she. we don’t have a depiction for her because it changes a lot.

-whole system is 🪐!!! -🌈

nsfw acc, terfs, radfem, ableist/sanist, etc. DNI.

endos can interact but I’m not endo.

edit: HELLO ITS ME 😍💖 anyway go check out my other blog abt having npd @chronicallynarcissistic it’s great ^_^ -🌈

edit: tea once and again. yea go ahead check it out. I spent so much time on these depictions. It’s already 11:17 and I started at 10:40.

#system #traumagenic system #alter intro

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violnces · 4 months

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DELILAH WALSH is here. Turns out the 24’s year-old used to be a college student, but now they contribute as a guard. Better watch it — they’re known to be both observant and closed off. They’ve been around for 2 years, but we’ll keep an eye on them just in case. They remind me of the craving of wanting to go home but where is home now? college textbooks replaced with weapons that felt more at home in your hands anyway, having to learn how to survive without the other half of you and it turned you cruel, anyway. — alva bratt / she/her / cis-woman

full name: delilah andrea parker-walsh

nicknames: del, lil, d,

gender: cis woman

pronouns: she + her

sexuality: bisexual

age: twenty four

date of birth: april 10th

zodiac sign: aries

occupation: a guard

FAMILY

parents: tba walsh, tba parker

siblings: finley walsh (half brother, alive ), younger sister ( unknown )

APPEARANCE

eyes: sky-blue with flecks of green

hair: dirty blonde hair, managed to find box-dye once and dyed it brown, now is a mix of half-blonde, half brown - always tied up behind her face in case of an ambush

piercings: ears are littered with piercings, has a septum nose piercing as well.

tattoos: a tattoo of four doves on her left wrist; one for each representation of her family, her zodiac constellation on her right shoulder & an alien pointing the finger on her ankle .

other distinguishing features: a scar running along side her rib cage, another scar on the side of her neck from an attack a few years prior

style: a girl that, before the outbreak happened had an almost all pink wardrobe filled with blazers, skirts, cute cardigans. all that's been traded in for combat boots, silver chains and black attire - pants, shirts, jackets, though she still has remnants of her old life in the form of color - all hidden away, never to be worn.

PERSONALITY

positive traits: observant, honest, ambitious & focused

negative traits: compulsive, reckless, impatient & hostile

mental health: depression & anxiety

likes: collecting books, painting, photography, can play piano however hasn't touched one in years, avid history lover, gardening, baking, secretly loves to read comic books - when she can get her hands on one, trading items for a cigarette

dislikes sitting down for too long, silent spaces, crowded rooms & mushrooms, fires

HEAD CANONS

before the outbreak, delilah's personality had more of a sweeter, softer side to it than how she is now. always willing to lend a helping hand, signing up to as many electives she could - the future was bright for sunshine personified delilah. there was always a smile plastered on her face, no matter the weather. the outbreak, however, had demolished her very future just like it had everyone else; having to trade in her books and knowledge to learn how to fight, how to survive. the things delilah saw, what she herself had to sacrifice in order to live another day, well... it would turn anyone into a shell of themselves, wouldn't it?

attending the same university as her brother was a blessing - other siblings would be annoyed at having to be around their older sibling in the same school - yet delilah loved finn's company more than anyone else, would often ditch her own friends to hang out with her lifelong best friend. no regrets.

always has trouble sleeping; can often be found wandering the grounds late at night. by now delilah is incredibly used to it.

if she's not carrying a weapon - - yes she is.

stopped using the last name walsh, and started using parker once she couldn't find her brother. it hurt too much, thinking he was gone, after not being able to find him when the initial outbreak started.

in her spare time delilah can be found in the community garden sketching anything that interests her. it keeps her mind occupied of before, a time she doesn't want to remember. or she's being a general annoyance to her friends.

BIO - tba !

OUTBREAK - trigger warning - death !

when the outbreak happened, delilah had been at her university - the same one shared by her half brother finley. one moment she had been in the auditorium with her drama class, practicing a shakespeare classic, curtains up in three days, people! - the next, she watched in horror as screams filled the air.

her first focus was getting out and finding finn. delilah had ran to the door furthest away from the chaos, hearing her classmates and friends scream for help, to wait, to leave the door open - but delilah had already barricaded it shut from the other side, leaving them all to die.

delilah ran, as far as she could. hiding in bushes, in abandoned cars. out of sight, out of mind. barricaded herself in her dorm room until the screams outside had lessened, hoping finley would show up out of the blue. when he didn't, delilah knew she had to come up with a different plan - a way to survive, and the stash of food she'd hidden for emergency study sessions was dwindling.

but she had a knife, a backpack and a will to live, so off delilah went in search of food, unknowingly saying goodbye to the only life she'd known.

it was six months before delilah decided to trust another human being - spending those six months stealing what she could when no one was looking, sleeping in emptied out dumpsters but never really sleeping. traveling with another person or two only to raid them after they've trained her how to hold her own. six months and delilah had become someone she despised. a thief, a liar, a killer. all the while holding out hope she'd come across someone she knew, but more importantly, her brother. parents be damned, delilah would've set the world on fire to make sure finley was safe. that's when she came across a group of three close in her age.

delilah didn't mean to stay and get attached, but she did, and the rest was history. they were a family in their own right, looking after each other and sharing resources - traveling always. never staying in the same place. she quickly formed into their protector, their guard - on the lookout, getting them out of sticky situations, and for a while, delilah had thought she'd managed to retain some semblance of her old personality; she was softer with them. more human. less bitch.

A month before finding the prison group, delilah and her group had been holing up in an abandoned warehouse nearby, stocking up on supplies when they'd found themselves surrounded by a horde of infected - and suddenly delilah was nineteen again, fighting for her life. her body was hardwired for survival no matter what the cost. no matter who paid the price for her survival.

for the second time in delilah's life she betrayed the ones she loved in order to live another day - she'd become an expert in barricading doors, and without another glance back to listen to their screams delilah had run off into the night, never looking back once. a month later she stumbled across the prison group just before they'd shut their doors for good.

taking a position as a guard, delilah kept her head down for the next two years, maintaining friendships as best as she could, and for the first time in a while it felt like delilah could finally breathe, slowly coming out of her shell as the months went by.

wanted connections

friends ; this gal is lonely and someone needs to appreciate her humor ok she can be funny when she wants to !

best friend ; the person to have cracked her shell after she got there. they may not know everything delilah had to go through, but they still love her the same. bonus points if they act as a big sibling/parent type bc she's so starved of it

enemies ; delilah is harsh in her honesty and can come off incredibly stand-offish sometimes. no matter what these two butt heads - maybe they ran into each other before the prison group n delilah stole their shit. who knows <;3

mentor ; she was 19 when the outbreak happened & barely 22 when she first arrived at the prison. someone to have taken her under their wing as a guard, showing her the ropes etc. probably still maintain a close-ish relationship ( close, for delilah is nodding in their direction when passing by ) trust might be too strong of a word, but they're there for each other.

past/current hook ups: delilah doesn't like to get feelings involved; as soon as there is she will ghost, gal doesn't want to feel her feelings inside. they find each other when they're bored, or drunk - a rare occurrence for delilah, but it happens sometimes.

crush ; someone delilah can't stop thinking about, but for her it's been so long since she's crushed on someone she has no idea what to do with these feelings.

someone from the past ; that delilah had run into at some point and probably stolen their shit, or left them for dead, we can definitely discuss i just love angst <3

#( & intro ; delilah. )#tw death #whqintro

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hey-missy-youre-so-fine · 1 year

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So, I go to a classical Christian school. Our reading is not super censored, in fact, we read lots of books that were banned in some public schools, such as The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and To Kill a Mockingbird. I have sat through many an awkward class talking about the sex scene in Paradise Lost or Ichabod Crane's usage of food-themed nicknames for girls because of his ever-present desire to consume in every sense of the word. What I find hilarious, though, is when we read American poetry.

So, for context, we read "Funeral Blues" by W.H. Auden. Naturally, I loved the poem, both because it was about a man mourning the death of his lover (like Patrochilles) and because it used space imagery (because everything is a Doctor Who reference in my mind). If you read the poem, the narrator is very obviously mourning the death of a person with he/him pronouns. If you then look at the author, you realize that Auden is also, in fact, a man. Thus, it is clear that the poem is, in fact, about a gay relationship.

I explain this in great detail because, surprisingly enough, this fact was not brought up in class, when we discussed the poem. Instead, my teacher talked about the literary devices, the rhyme and meter, and whatnot, but never once did she address the fact that our Christian school, which is very homophobic, had made us read a poem written by a gay man about a gay relationship. I can only assume that the reasoning behind this was simply that if we ignored the fact, it would not be a problem. This really makes you question the soundness of their beliefs against homosexuality, if they are not even willing to discuss them.

Anyways, it was hilarious to watch a bunch of homophobic Christian girls talk about how much they loved the poem, and how "she clearly really loved him," with absolutely no idea that they were reading and praising a canonically gay relationship.

#tw homophobia #classical literature #wh auden #christian school #queer community #mlm relationship #lgbtq #funeral blues

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notwhatshesaid · 2 years

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Peaky Blinders - War Is Over

word count: 1900 (ish)

summary: the great war is finally over and the shelby's reunite.

she/her pronouns used :)

Todays the day! After four long years I finally get to see my older brothers again. I hardly slept last night out of excitement, neither did Finn. We got told off by Polly and a grumpy, half-asleep Ada, and they were still annoyed in the morning. Pol kept reminding us all week that they probably won't be the same as when they left. It hurts to think about the fact that they might not want to spend time with me anymore: I might begin to get on their nerves or frustrate them. They might even hate me.

Despite these thoughts, I was so giddy with excitement. I had made sure to bathe myself last night to look extra clean for them! I had also picked out my best dress to wear, it was very elegant. It was a present from Polly on my 16th birthday, she'd saved for ages to get me it after I spotted it in a shop window. I also had a necklace to match it, it had a beautiful gemstone infused with silver - a present off John before the war to always remember him by. Tommy had gotten me a copy of Little Women - he wrote a short, loving note to me in it and I've read it hundreds of times since. Arthur had bought me a teddy bear that had 'Love, Arth' embroidered on its left foot, he had also bought me and Finn some expensive sweets - Pol was very displeased. Told him off for giving us too much sugar.

In turn, I had written them all detailed and very heartfelt letters and made them bracelets to wear so we could be matching. I slipped mine on and gave myself a smile in the mirror. My hair was a mess so I went downstairs and Ada helped me do my hair. After a couple of minutes of doing God knows what, she put a ribbon in and I went to look at myself because I half expected my hair to look like a goat had chewed on it. Ada tries, bless her, but she's not exactly a connoisseur when it comes to doing hair. Instead of looking like I had just rolled out of bed, I looked pretty good. Two pieces of hair were twisted on each side of my face and pulled to the back of my head.

I was so happy I nearly forgot to put my shoes on when it was time to leave: Aunt Pol reminded me as I was about to step out of the house and we all had a good laugh about it.

Once we had set off to the train station, my nerves skyrocketed and my worries that they wouldn't like me anymore kept growing. I began to feel a bit nauseous and lightheaded. Aunt Pol and Ada took the lead, Finn and I dawdled behind them, him chattering endlessly about how great it is that they are coming home and all the things he missed doing with them. I didn't speak much, only chiming in with the occasional "mhm" and "yeah". No matter how many times he was told that they probably wouldn't be up for doing lots of what they used to before they left, he didn't really listen or understand. He was very young when they left, as was I, so I'm worried how he will act if they aren't like what they were in his memories.

As we stood waiting, Ada pulled me into a sideways hug and whispered, "it's going to be alright, Y/n, I promise." I nodded hopefully up to her and sank into her side, watching the platform get more and more busy; everyone was shoulder to shoulder but a small ring had gathered around us to give us space, us being family of the head of the notorious Peaky Blinders gang, and the big bad Tommy Shelby coming back to take over the reins, meant that people tried to avoid a possible conflict on such a joyous occasion.

When the war was first announced, I had begged Tommy, Arthur, and John not to sign up, I even tried to guilt trip them into staying but they left me anyway. They told me they had to fight for our king and country, that they would be fighting for me and the family; I still didn't want to let them leave, they didn't really care that they could die, just that they were doing the honourable thing. Realising that begging for them to stay was futile, I instead had begged them for a big sleepover before they left and a day full of fun activities to remember for the rest of our lives. They agreed and we had an amazing time, such a great time that I momentarily forgot why we were even doing it in the first place. Whenever I started to get really sad and miss them I would remember all the fun we had, all the laughter, all the joy.

That joy seemed to leave when they did, fingers crossed it was coming back today.

It was really hard to live without them, running the business proved to be very difficult but Aunt Pol did so well in keeping everything afloat and making us all happy - for the most part. She knew that she could never fill their space, that no matter what we could never truly be okay until the boys got back and the war ended. Honestly, I was very mean to Aunt Pol because I didn't know how to process the emotions I was feeling, and everything was overwhelming but thankfully she was very forgiving and understood why I acted like I did.

The day they announced the war was ending, there were celebrations in the street, grand parties were thrown, and for the first time in four years, I felt truly content. Any nagging thoughts of waking up one day to a telegram was gone. We all hardly slept that night, we sat in the street most the night with the other partygoers drinking and letting everything move past us and every problem we had temporarily disappeared. The remainder of the night was spent with us around the fireplace, just existing and being at peace with one another.

When the train finally rolled into the station, Finn ran through the crowd despite Pol's efforts to keep him next to her, "he could get lost or end up on the train tracks!". Her worries were met with Ada taking the piss, "you know, I did read somewhere that little boys were being pushed onto train tracks. The papers are full of horrifying-" She was cut off by light smack, Pol probably slapped her on the arm. It's funny how much Aunt Pol worries so we've begun to poke some fun at her. She knows we're only messing about so she doesn't take any actual offence but she always plays along. I ducked my head to hide the smile that was coming onto my face: my family was going to be whole again!

A short while later, Finn was running back towards us with the three most powerful men in Small Heath - and possibly the whole of Birmingham - trailing behind him. The crowd absentmindedly parted around them as they moved towards us. John moved in front, pushing Arthur behind him, in order to reach us first. He was strutting with his arms outstretched, "Johnny Boy's home!"

As soon as he reached us he pulled me off my feet and into a hug. "I missed you so much princess." He spoke with a massive smile on his face, touching him made everything sink in so I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, breathing in his aftershave, "missed you more."

I could hear Tommy and Arthur behind me, Polly was crying quietly and Ada was making half arsed jokes - trying to mask her own slightly shaky voice. It's strange, she's not usually one to hide her emotions behind a façade, especially when it's her family. Maybe she's worried they'll take the mick?

I pulled away from John and he put me on the floor, "that necklace looks gorgeous on you, Y/n. Whoever got you that should be your favourite brother." My hand moved to my necklace and I laughed, "he wishes he was."

We hadn't been talking for long before, "Is it my turn now?" Arthur interrupted, very impatient. He didn't wait for a reply before picking me up and spinning me around. I clutched onto his arms, a massive smile on my face. Pol shouted, "be careful with her Arthur! Don't dirty her dress."

"I'm not going to drop her." He shot back, shaking his eyes in a playful manner. He turned his attention back to me and put me down, "have you been good for Pol and Ada?" I tilted my head, "I always am, I'm a perfect angel." He laughed and put one of his hands on my shoulder, "oh yeah? You wish. You're a Shelby, sweetheart, and the best one at that." I smirked, "obviously."

Tommy pulled our attention away from each other and asked me to walk with him, Arthur gave me a 'good luck' look and went back to talk to Finn and Ada. We walked ahead of everyone else, my heart was racing with each step we took - what did he want? Did Pol tell him about the incident? Surely not, it was a while ago and we've all grown and matured since then.

His voice pulled me out of my thoughts, "that dress looks great." Confused, I replied, "thanks. It was a present from Aunt Polly."

"Did you do your own hair?"

"No. Ada did. This is one of her finer pieces of work." I gestured to my hair, flourishing my hand as I did.

He let out a soft laugh, it wasn't quite like I remembered it. "It looks alright. You've grown quite a bit, you look very mature and grown now."

"I am sixteen now y'know."

"I know, you're no longer my little baby sister. Can't believe I wasn't there to celebrate all those holidays with you."

"There'll be more holidays." I smiled up at him. My heart skipped a beat, he missed me! My fears were just irrational thoughts after all. "I really missed you whilst you were gone, Tom. I kept worrying that something had happened to you, John or Arthur but the telegram had gotten lost in the mail or that one day I'd wake up to Polly crying and a tear soaked letter in her hands-"

Tommy spoke before I could finish my sentence and grabbed my hands, "but we're home aren't we? I promise you, Y/n, no matter what we aren't leaving again."

"What about another war?" I asked with slight sincerity, "would you leave me, us, again?"

He pulled me into a hug, "there won't be another war." Tommy lifted my head up to kiss my forehead, "I promise you'll never have to worry like that again." Tommy laughed as I held up my pinky finger but he took it nonetheless.

Everyone had moved past us so he moved his hand to my lower back to direct me behind them, and through the crowds of people on their way home to celebrate - or mourn.

My family is whole again for the first time in four years. I’m never letting anyone leave ever again.

#oneshot #fanfic #peaky blinders #tommy shelby #arthur shelby

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evermorehqs · 3 months

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CATCHING MY BREATH, STARING OUT AN OPEN WINDOW

Finn Mertens is based on Finn from Adventure Time. He is a 27 year old human, Putt-A-Palooza employee, and uses he/him pronouns. He has no powers. Finn is portrayed by Austin Abrams and he is open.

CATCHING MY DEATH, AND I COULDN’T BE SURE

Finn’s life had always been a series of adventures. It was a given, especially since he was taken in by a open-minded family that never turned down he or his adoptive brother’s wild ideas and let them explore all corners of their imagination. While Finn didn’t know who his birth parents were, he looked up to Jake’s parents as if they were his own, and they never treated him as less than. As Finn and Jake got older, their adventures wandered outside the four walls of their shared room, running wild across the land of Ooo and getting entangled in all kinds of mischief. A lot of their adventures came as a result of Finn stepping up to protect and defend every innocent creature in Ooo, never turning down a challenge. Once the two met Princess Bonnibel, the adventures only seemed to multiply. For years, Finn was considered the hero of Ooo — known to be able to face any enemy, no matter how strong and not matter how scary, keeping everyone he loved and cared about safe. Suddenly, the safety of Ooo was once again under threat; but this time, the enemy Finn had to face was none like he had ever challenged before. That didn’t stop Finn's adventurous, protective spirit from challenging Glorb head on… but the confrontation resulted in a blinding light and a loud BOOM. Finn opened his eyes and he didn’t know where he was or what had happened. As if by magic, he woke up in this town he had never seen before, without a lick of memory as to what lead to him ending up here. All Finn knew for certain was he and his brother, Jake, were living in this place called Evermore and life was relatively simple. Finn had a job at the most “adventurous” spot in town, Putt-A-Palooza, and spent most of his time itching for some excitement. Every once and a while, usually in a bright room, he’d get flashes of what feels to be the past, but he isn’t sure. Sometimes he sees these memories in Jake or in other residents around town but, all he knows for sure is Jake, his love for helping others, and his need to find excitement around every corner. Finn was never one to turn down adventure, and he was determined to find it here in Evermore, and slowly put together the pieces of his past he just can’t quite seem to remember.

I HAD A FEELING SO PECULIAR ❀ Milo Thatch: If anyone in this town knows about adventure, it’s Milo. He is way smarter when it comes to the technicalities of it all than Finn is, but there is no one else in Evermore who Finn would want to spend his time hanging out with than a fellow adventurer. ❀ Theodore 'Cubby' Galve: Finn and Cubby seemed to be polar opposites on the outside, but it turns out they had way more in common than either of them ever knew! They loved reading adventure books together and had deep talks about their fears, though Cubby’s fears seem to be a lot of more real than Finn’s do. ❀ Elsa Munster: Elsa is like super smart, and if Finn was in school he knows they’d be the smartest kid in class. Whenever Finn has a zanny idea, he always runs it by Elsa to see if it’s realistic. Even if he plans on doing it anyways, he likes to get their input. He can’t help but feel like she reminds him of someone, but he can’t remember who.

THAT THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE

#adventure time #finn mertens #austin abrams fc #disney rp #no powers #male bio #open male #open bio

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kin-superhell · 6 months

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New intro post!!

Hi! We are the Not Named System. We are bodily 17 years old. We are a masc-heavy system. When speaking about all of us, please use the plural they/them- when speaking about one of us, please use that person's preferred pronouns.

Any littles will not be allowed to post on this account, and information about them will be kept private. Some of us may not want to be on this list, but will post anyways.

Current amount of people not on the list - 3.

Below the cut is some personal info about each of us.

Finn - Host

He/xe/ey/it/angel/wing/seraph pronouns

17 y/o (ages with the body)

Transmasc and omni

The main person who will be posting on this account. He likes the shows Supernatural, Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Doctor Who, Sherlock, and some others. He likes the games Team Fortress 2, Minecraft, Binding of Isaac, and Don't Starve. He is fictionkin, otherkin, and a therian.

Celsius - Co-host

He/ze/ they

17 y/o

Trigender and pansexual

Probably will post a bit. He loves music. He likes the bands/artists KISS, AC/DC, George Thorogood, Johnny Cash, and some others. He doesn't watch much TV.

Wil - Protector

He/him

Age slider (32-45)

Male and Bisexual

Won't post much either, and will probably post mostly about source memories. He likes musicals like Hamilton, Heathers, Dear Evan Hansen, and Be More Chill.

Eric - Emotional Funnel

He/she

36 y/o

Bigender male + female and bisexual

Won't post that much. Doesn't really watch much TV, but likes the Monkees and their TV show. Also likes the band KISS.

Hobie - Comforter

He/they

Age slider (16-18)

Queer/unlabeled

Will rarely post, as he doesn't front much. Will probably post about source memories, and crafts he's working on.

#osddid #did community #traumagenic system #actually traumagenic #did #dissociative system #did system #system stuff #intro post #system intro

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absolutelyfizzing · 3 years

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he promised

poe dameron x reader

description - Poe always promised he would come back from missions. One time he doesn't. (Ends in fluff i promise i promise)

warnings - depression?, anxiety?, fem pronouns, talk of injury and death, grief, fluff at the end, use of petnames, reader gets carried for a while and sits on a lap, mentions of eating and eating avoidance (not ed)

word count - 3800

A/N - so this was an oops. I wrote this hella fast but i was in the zone and i am pretty happy with the emotionally devastating product. I promise it has a happy ending i just dont want to give too much away. I feel like for maximum emotional damage you need to be a little in the dark. anyway, forgive me

MASTERLIST

You were stood in the command center with your hands wringing together. No matter how many missions Poe went on, the waiting was always hell. How were you supposed to remain sane when the love of your life was out fighting a battle that he might not come back from. That you might never see him again. He always reassured you that he would always come back to you. That you never had anything to worry about. You tried to believe him, and for the most part you did, but that didn't prevent you from being worried when he was gone.

You listened through the coms, trying to keep track of what was happening during the battle. Leia let you stay in there because she had a soft spot for you, as well as the pilot you were worried about. You were thankful she let you listen in on every mission, it meant that you weren't alone worrying in the room you shared with Poe. The conversation over coms was rushed and loud, they were scared and that made your heart beat faster.

'I have to go through, they're gonna come after us if I don't.' You heard your fiance yell. Worry stuck in the pit of your stomach, he was going to take a risk, you could feel it.

'Poe, it's not worth it. We should get out of here while we still can'. You agreed, wanting him to get out of there as soon as possible. You prayed he would listen and just get out.

'I have to try, I can't go back knowing that they could be following us to base.'

'Poe wait-' You heard someone rush out before comotion ensued again. You could feel your heart in your throat. You could have cried. After a minute of listening to pure chaos, nobody in the control room dared to speak a word. Everyone was waiting for an indication of what to do from the squadron. You found yourself zoning out in your worry. You were only broken out of your trance when you heard your fiance's name.

'Poe is down.' You stopped breathing.

"Down? What do you mean down?" You heard Leia call over comms.

'I'm sorry commander, he got hit. His X-Wing engine got shot and he was heading to crash on the planet right below us, his coms died. There's no way to know if he made it through but I don't know many who could take that crash and live. We have to head out and hope he comes back to base but I wouldn't get my hopes up.'

"Get out of there while you still can. We will have to worry about Poe when we gather our strength." Leia responded and the squadron called their understanding before the process of bringing them home began. You hadn't moved. You weren't sure if you had breathed. Your body was fully numb. You could feel eyes on you as everyone waited for you to respond. To show some emotion of your boyfriend having just gone MIA. You couldn't feel yourself though, your fingertips were numb, and you refused to believe he was dead. He promised. He told you he would come home.

Your brain was split between trying to grieve for the loss of the love of your life and trusting that he would be back. That he had to come back because he promised he would and he never breaks a promise. You felt hands on you and you realized you had fallen to sit in your spot. Leia was above you and was ushering you to your feet. You mindlessly let her push you somewhere and you barely even looked to see where you were going.

Eventually you showed up at your apartment door. You couldn't tell whether it felt like it had been instantaneous or an eternity to get there. Leia unlocked your door and pushed you inside and to the small couch that was stood in the living room-like space. The apartments were all very small, Poe had one a little bigger because he was housing with another person and because of his rank. Still, the extra amenities included a small couch, a smaller kitchen, and a window along the bedroom wall. When Leia sat you on the couch she kneeled in front of you. Her hand went to your cheek and you looked at her for the first time since you'd heard Poe go down. She seemed to almost be in tears but your eyes were dry. You didn't feel anything.

"Y/N, what can I do?" She asked gently. "Do you need anything?" You felt yourself shake your head and open your mouth like you were going to talk but closed it again as you thought.

"He said... He said he was coming back." You stated as if it changed the situation. "He promised." You mumbled.

"I know, Y/N. I am so sorry." She tried to console and your head shook. "We don't know what happened after he went down. You heard the team. He might contact us in the next few days, he is a smart man and he knows how to get a message out. But I don't want it to hurt you more if he never does." She tries to reason and you shook your head.

"No, you don't understand. He promised, " your head was spinning, "he's coming back." You felt tears fall down your face. When had you started crying? "He promised me that he was coming back home." Your voice broke which surprised you. Before you knew it you were crying into Leia's arms and you couldn't stop yourself. That was how you stayed with her for a while after, you weren't sure how long. She shed some tears of her own but eventually you both ran dry. You lost feeling again and you couldn't tell if it was better or worse. You made a decision. You wouldn't grieve over him until you were sure he was not coming back. You wouldn't mourn until you were sure.

The alternative was not, however, to recover. Instead you just stopped doing anything at all. You stopped eating, taking care of yourself, caring. Soon, your friends came in to talk to you. Instead of it being conversation though, they just talked at you. You couldn't bring yourself to respond or really even listen. Or maybe you did but you just couldn't remember. They would periodically come through to help you into a shower in which you just let the water run over you while someone else, you thought maybe Rey but you couldn't even recall, washed your hair. You drank water when they asked and would take a bite of food if they begged but other than that you might as well have been dead to the world. You almost hadn't realized how much of a vital part to your existence Poe was. How little you could bring yourself to do without him. You had thought you were prepared to be separated, you were in the middle of a war after all. Instead it was impossible to do anything without him and you wondered how long you could keep doing it.

This went on for a week. That was how long it took for them to declare him 'killed in action'. They felt that, if he was alive, he would have found a way to contact the base with the help of BB8 and local lifeforms. That was when you allowed yourself to grieve. The numbness turned into pain and it was a million times worse. You would have given anything to go back to numb.

You finally listened to your friends when they talked to you but their consolations did nothing to put you at ease. You still struggled to do anything but you complied with their pleads. You had been convinced, 2 weeks after the KIA announcement, to go to the canteen. To see people and interact. Finn pulled you along with an attempt at a smile on his face. Your face was blank but you tried to soften your eyes. You knew he was trying to help and he was grieving the loss of his best friend as well. When you were pulled into the large cafeteria, all noise ceased. You knew that they were looking at you and you guessed that they pitied you. You had seen yourself in the mirror that morning and you would have pitied you too. You got pulled to a table and Finn went to go get you and himself food.

People periodically came by and said hello or asked how you were as you tried to eat something. You responded with one word answers usually and you hadn't met anyone's eyes. You could feel yourself getting overwhelmed and decided you would head back to your room. You quietly thanked Finn for trying and left to the hallway.

Suddenly, alarms sounded. You were startled into awareness and people began running past you.

'ALL EMERGENCY CREW TO FLIGHT DECK'

You were curious about the alarm but you weren't emergency crew and you knew they didn't need any more bodies there than would already be there. That was until you heard someone as they rushed by as they talked to the medic next to them.

"Yeah I heard it was him but he went missing weeks ago." They sounded confused and continued jogging toward the flight deck. You feet started moving before you could even process it and it was the fastest you'd moved since he had gone missing. Since he had died.

When you got to the flight deck there was already a crowd. You could see over the see a people a beat up X-Wing. You thought you might have heard a droid. You elbowed your way to the front of the crowd, not apologizing when people grumbled their frustrations at you. When you made it to the front you were stood no more than 50 feet from him. He was soot covered and beat up but he was standing as he tried to wiggle out of the grasp of the medics. BB8 beeped and turned, spotting you. He made a loud excited noise and rushed to roll over to you and Poe turned at the sound. When he met your gaze he smiled.

You felt your knees give out and tears start to fall from your eyes. Your arms crossed over your stomach and you started to curl into a ball over your knees. A sob left you and suddenly large warm hands were on your shoulders.

"Y/N? My love, are you okay?" He rushed out, checking over you for injury as the medics still grumbled about needing to see him. His hand came under your chin to move your face so he was making eye contact with you. You let out another sob before grabbing his vest and pulling him into you, he kneeled to the ground as you clung to him and cried into his chest. He moved himself so he was sitting on the ground and he pulled you into his lap. You felt his hands on your back trying to soothe you but you couldn't stop crying. "I'm back. I'm so sorry I was gone but I'm back." He mumbled out as he kissed your head a few times.

"I'm so angry at you." You whispered and he almost laughed, just happy to hear your voice. You finally pulled your head out of his chest and kissed him like your life depended on it, like it was the last time you would ever see him. You pulled away so you were looking into his eyes. "Please don't leave me," you begged almost silently. You weren't even sure if he could hear you. "Please don't leave again."

"I'm not leaving, baby, I promise." He tried to calm you. "I'm right here. I'm okay."

You nodded, trying to convince yourself that he was real and he was here. You kissed him again just to check. You pulled away again, still trying to convince yourself.

"You died." You struggled out and Poe felt tears in his eyes as well. "You were dead, you crashed and you didn't make it and then they said you were gone." You said like that was what happened.

"I didn't die, my love. I'm right here. I'm alive, I'm okay." Poe pleaded and he grabbed your hand, bringing it up to his face so you could feel him. Your hand moved along is jaw which was now covered in stubble and grime. Your head shook like you were disagreeing with him but you were simply in disbelief.

"I love you" You mumbled as your eyes traced the lines of his face and tears fell from your eyes. He let a few tears fall as well before pressing meaningful kisses to every part of your face that he could reach.

You spent the next 2 hours like that. You wouldn't leave his hold and he didn't try to move you. The medics worked around you and everyone greeted him without disturbing you. You stayed, on his lap, curled into his chest. Your breathing had slowed to a normal pace and you were holding onto his vest tightly. Eventually, he had to be debriefed. He petted your hair and cooed at you to catch your attention.

"Y/N, my love," he whispered, "we have to get up now." He felt you nod but you made no move to get up from him. He took a breath before moving you off of his lap as you whined, standing up, and then picking you up so you could wrap yourself around him. You hummed contentedly into his chest and he had a smile on his face as he walked through the base.

"I love you." You whispered again into his chest. You had been doing it periodically every so often in the last 2 hours and every time Poe would repeat it back to you, kiss your head, or say something else. This time he chose to kiss your head.

"Baby, I have to go to the debriefing now and you know you can't come with me." He tried to say gently but he knew this separation might be hard for both of you. "I'm gonna put you down." He warned before encouraging your legs to go to the floor. You listened but didn't release his neck which you were also clung to. His hands fell to your waist and you both stood for a moment with your heads in each others necks and breathing deeply. "I'm gonna hand you off to Rey, okay?" He asked as he flagged down Rey from the hallway.

"Okay." You whispered, still not releasing him.

"Hey, Rey, sorry to bother you but could you keep Y/N company for a few minutes while I talk to Leia and the squadron?"

"Oh of course!" Rey chirped and you took a deep breath before releasing Poe. You let him kiss your cheeks and your nose before he walked the other direction toward the command center. You stared at him until Rey put her hand in yours and clasped it. You turned to look at her and for the first time in weeks, she saw you smile. "I'm so happy for you, Y/N." She assured and you believed her.

"Thank you." You whispered and another tear fell from you, this time of joy and happiness. Not grief.

"What do you say to heading to your room and get cleaned up a bit, yeah?" She tried and you nodded, following where her hand lead with one last glance toward the direction that Poe went.

"-the converter didnt even work until a day ago because the main power source broke down." Poe finished explaining his time on the planet he had crashed on and the rest of the squadron nodded and asked a few more questions. Once he was done, Finn met him outside the command center.

"So-" he paused, "I'm not sure how to say this nicely but most of your stuff went into the redistribution center because you were presumed dead." He rushed out. Poe took a moment to process and nodded.

"Well that's sort of a bummer. Could I borrow some of your stuff?" Poe asked, knowing it would take at least a day for him to get reassigned sets of uniforms.

"Yeah of course, that's why I'm standing here waiting for you. You could get cleaned up in my room too if you want. I know Y/N kept a few of your jackets and shirts but most of it got taken." The boys began to walk toward Finn's living quarters and there was a moment of silence before Poe asked something he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to.

"What happened when I was gone?" His throat felt dry suddenly and his words came out hoarse. "To Y/N I mean. Was she okay?" Poe wasn't sure what answer he wanted. He knew from your recent reaction that you were devastated, as he would have been, but he also knew he had a dangerous job. He might not come back from some other mission in the future and he hoped you would survive without him.

"Do you really want to know?" Finn questioned.

Poe nodded.

"I mean, she was broken." He paused to think. "She didn't talk to anyone for a week. Wouldn't move. Wouldn't cry. Rey had to help her shower and we had to beg her to eat. We almost sent her to the med wing because we thought she was gonna pass out from dehydration, she would barely take a sip of water." Poe's heart was in his throat but he was sure there was more. "Then you were pronounced KIA."

"Oh god."

"Yeah it wasn't pretty. They pulled your stuff out of your guys' room, took your name off the ledger. Leia let her keep some stuff but it was hard to watch. She finally cried, she just wouldn't stop. She was more responsive but she wasn't even moving towards okay. You could tell she was only doing what we were asking because we were begging. That she was doing it out of guilt. Today was actually the first day that I talked her into coming out of her room. She had been to the canteen for about an hour when she felt she needed to leave and then alarms sounded that you were back." Finn finished with a glance to his friend and Poe looked like he might throw up.

"I want her to be okay if I don't make it back one day." Poe tried to explain to his friend.

"She probably would have been functioning in a few months. She wouldn't have recovered but she would function. She's a strong woman, but she also loves you a lot. I mean, how would you react if she was killed on mission?" Poe could tell it was a rhetorical question but he thought about it very carefully. You were an engineer so you weren't called out on mission often, not nearly as often as him. When you were, he was worried sick the whole time. He hadn't really thought about how him being gone affected you before. Now looking back on it he kicked himself for it.

Poe thought about what he would have done if you had died and he thought that your reaction was probably mild. That he would have been unresponsive for weeks or even become violent with anger and grief. He knew that you were the one for him, the most important thing in his life, and without you he didn't know if he would find purpose in his life anymore. He fought in the war as hard as he did for you. To make the galaxy safer for you.

When he went MIA it was because he tried to take out a couple more imperial ships than he could handle. He only did it because he knew they would have followed them back to base if they left. Back to you. So he took the risk and it backfired but he knew he would do it again to try and keep the First Order away from you.

He was knocked out of his train of thought by the arrival at Finn's quarters. Poe tried to get cleaned up and dressed quickly, getting the grime off of himself and shaving his face. He hurried back to your shared quarters and when he entered his room he was greeted with your smiling face as you laughed.

You were sat on the bed, Rey on the other end, as you were talking about something which caught you in a fit of giggles. At the sound of him stepping into the room you looked at him and got up quickly to rush up and hug him tightly.

"Missed you." You mumbled into his chest. As he held you Rey silently nodded at Poe and left the room.

"Was only gone for a minute, honey bun." He reassured and you pulled your face back.

"You know I hate that one."

"Boo bear?" he teased and you shook your head no. "Munchkin?" nope. "honey bear?" no thank you. "Baby love?" You tilted your head a bit.

"I don't loathe that one."

"Sweetheart?"

"I like that one."

"Princess?"

"That's my favorite" You giggled and kissed him quickly for a moment. He could have cried at the sight of you giggling. He had missed that, you, the sounds you made, so goddamn much. More than he would ever put into words.

"I know it is, pretty girl." He smiled before picking you up and you squealed. He walked you over to the bed before dropping you on it and laying next to you. You climbed close to him, practically laying on his chest. His arm was snug around your waist and he left no room for you to move, not that you would have anyway. "How would you feel about going to bed, princess?" He almost whispered, not wanting to disrupt the fragile quiet in the room.

"Yes please. I love you Poe." You whispered back and closed your eyes a bit, focussing on his breathing.

"I love you, Y/N" he responded.

You both got the first decent sleep you'd had in weeks that night.

#poe x reader #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron x reader imagine #star wars #star wars imagine #star wars x reader #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron x reader fluff #poe dameron x y/n #star wars fluff #star wars the force awakens #star wars the last jedi #poe x y/n #poe dameron blurb #poe dameron drabble

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defectivevillain · 2 years

Text

lightning before the thunder

pairing: kylo ren x reader, rey & reader (platonic)

reader’s pronouns: he/him

summary: You’re with Rey and the others on Takonada when the First Order attacks. You manage to convince Rey to run, as the rest of you hold your ground against the stormtroopers. You soon find yourself at the business end of one’s blaster. Despite your promise to yourself to fly under the radar, you grab your lightsaber and battle.

You swallow hard, watching from under the shaded trees as the land around you slowly turns to ruin. You shake your head and turn back to Rey, whom has the same wide-eyed expression on her face that you’re sure that you do.

“Rey, you need to get out of here,” you hiss, grabbing her by the shoulder. She seems to be stuck in some sort of trance, and you shake her roughly. She soon snaps out of it, blinking at you in confusion for a moment. Her confusion quickly turns to anger as she realizes what the rest of your plan consists of.

“No,” Rey immediately argues, her eyebrows furrowed. Her fists are clenched at her sides. “No, I’m not leaving you.”

“Rey, you’re the one he’s after,” you say, your hands still gripping her shoulders. “Just go, please. We need you to be safe.” Rey seems to be on the fence until she hears that last sentence, and soon a look of determination comes over her face.

“Alright,” she nods, glancing at BB-8 and then back to you. There’s a conflicted expression on her face, and there’s a pain in her eyes that you wish you hadn't noticed. For a brief moment, the two of you stand there in complete silence, staring at each other. Rey breaks the silence by launching herself at you, her arms over your shoulders. You clutch her tightly, closing your eyes and willing yourself not to cry.

“We’ll get through this,” you whisper against her shoulder. You’re not quite sure if the reassurance is for her or yourself, but you continue speaking anyways. “We have to.”

Your hug is far too short, and before you know it, Rey is turning the other way, taking BB-8 with her. You watch as her shadow soon becomes impossible to see in your eyes, and you glance around at your surroundings. Stormtroopers are closing in on the main building, and they seem to be fanning out to search the forest. You can only hope that Rey has gotten enough distance on them.

The fire of a blaster hits the tree next to you, mere inches from your face. You shake your head and pull out the blaster at your belt, crouching down and firing back. You’re not very confident with your skills with a blaster. As you keep firing, you notice that your shots seem to be missing. You grit your teeth and crouch lower behind the tree, looking down at the other weapon at your belt: your lightsaber. You had promised yourself that you wouldn’t use it- it would draw too much attention. The Jedis were supposed to be long gone, and if anyone found you wielding a lightsaber, you knew there would be questions.

Another shot fired tauntingly close to your figure, and you swear under your breath. You don't have the luxury to contemplate which weapon you should use as you suddenly feel a tight grip on your shoulder. You’re yanked up to a standing position, and a blaster is pushed to your neck.

The stormtrooper’s finger itches towards the trigger, and you make your move. Fast as lightning, you crouch down and grab your lightsaber from your belt, swinging it expertly into their chest. The stormtrooper falls to the ground.

You stand over the stormtrooper for a brief moment, a torrent of emotions racing through you. You remember what Finn had told you of his experiences as a stormtrooper- how he felt as if he was allowed no independent thought, no choice but to destroy. Guilt pangs in your chest as you look down at your fallen enemy. A thought suddenly occurs to you, and you crouch down next to them. You’re about to take their helmet off when you feel a new presence behind you.

“You.”

You whip around, your heart dropping to your stomach as you see Kylo Ren himself staring at you. His face is adorned with a bulky mask, but you can still feel the intensity of his gaze regardless. You notice his gaze flit from you to the lightsaber in your hand to you again. You grimace, realizing that it’s too late to run. His interest is already peaked, from what you can see.

You try to run anyways. It’s a rather pathetic attempt, you have to admit, as he uses the Force to lock your limbs and freeze you in place. Dread coils in your stomach as Ren walks impossibly closer.

“I was expecting the scavenger,” he remarks. You grimace, trying desperately to fight back against the stiffness set on to your limbs. “Who are you?” His mask tilts down as he stares at your lightsaber. You’re glad that the limb lock has frozen it in your grip, otherwise you’re certain he would’ve taken it from you already.

“Doesn't matter,” you reply, pretending not to notice the way your heart pounds in your chest. Despite your anxiety, you’re still determined not to let him get to Rey. Ren is circling around you, and it takes every ounce of determination you have to pretend you’re unaffected by it.

“Where’s the droid?” he asks. You wince as his breath hits your neck, uncomfortable with his proximity. You aren’t given even a second to reply, as you’re soon faced with a lightsaber pointed at your neck. You close your eyes and take a deep breath, trying your best to ignore the humming of the lightsaber that threatens to take your life.

You don’t say anything, and Ren growls. He steps in front of you and reaches a hand out over your face. The world around you fades to black, and the only sensation you can feel is pain. You've never felt this way before- an unwanted presence intruding in your mind. It's horrible, and your attempts at resistance are futile at best. He withdraws his hand a few moments later.

“You’ve seen the map,” Kylo Ren’s says, his tone victorious and smug. You try to shake your head, but you can't. You stare at your enemy, hoping to convey that through your eyes. Kylo doesn’t seem to notice this, however, as he remains silent. You think that, if he weren’t wearing a mask, he would be smirking.

“Forget the droid,” Kylo mutters, his voice muffled by his mask. Nausea settles in your chest, as you begin to realize what he’s doing. You bite your lip as he circles around you once more, coming to a stop at your right side. He raises a hand, and you feel the energy drain from your body. Your knees buckle from under you. Your vision is swimming as black dots cluster and spread around the edges. You just barely register Kylo catching you as you fall, bringing you into his arms and holding you there as you succumb to unconsciousness.

“We have what we need.”

#kylo x reader #kylo x male reader #star wars #Star Wars x reader #x male reader #male y/n

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darling-leech · 2 years

Text

Eugenia Alexandra Everston’s Fallout Character Sheet(Updated 2)

I used DarthSuki’s Fallout OC Meme 2.0. Also here’s the font I used as well.

Here’s a blank version, if ya’ll wanna use it as well! Make sure to credit Darthsuki when you use it!

ANYWAYS Let’s begin... AGAIN. 😅😅😅😅

Name: Eugenia Alexandra Everston(Registration EE-004SK/Institute Username Everston.E)

Nickname: Alex

Race: White

Religion: Agnostic

Gender and Pronouns: Cisgender Woman and She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual. Possibly Polyamorous as well.

Age: 19(During the events of Fallout 4, and was 9 during the events of Fallout 3).

Birthday: July 31, 2268

Birthplace: Capital Wasteland(She was born at The Citadel)

Height: 5′1 FT(61 Inches/154.94 CM)

Weight: 120(54.4311 KGS)

Hair Color: The HAIR ON HER HEAD is White(#FFFFFF) and her EYEBROW/EYELASHES color is Black(#000000) (I used Zella’s Hair Dye Collections mod for her hair color and eyebrow color) *REMEMBER THE ONLY HAIR ON HER BODY THAT IS WHITE IS THE HAIR ON HER HEAD*

Hairstyle: mostly Whisper(Or something similar. Also wears alot of French Braids or other Braids like it). (Here’s links to several mods I use XX(this one has Whisper on it), XX, XX, XX, and XX)

Eye Color: Dark Brown(#331900)

Skin Color: Pale Ivory(#FFF0ED)

Game of Origin: Fallout 3 and Fallout 4

BEHAVIOR/TECHNICAL:

Voice Actor: Probably Isabelle Fuhrman

Species: Human

Karma: Chaotic Neutral

Aggression: Aggressive

Confidence: Foolhardy

Assistance: Helps Friends and Allies

S.P.E.C.I.A.L Stats: Strength 7, Perception 10, Endurance 7, Charisma 10, Intelligence 10, Agility 7, and Luck 7

Perks/Tagged: Barter/Speech/Cherchez La Femme/Black Widow, Lockpick/Pickpocket/Sneak/Ninja/Hacker/Robots Experts, Big Leagues/Heavy Gunner/Gunslinger/Explosives, and Repair/Medicine/Armorer/Blacksmith/Gun Nut/Science! are just a few.

Weaknesses: Cunning/Impulsive, Party Girl/Idiot Savant, can be alittle bit Self-Centered/Self-Indulgent/Irresponsible, and Unpredictable.

Affiliation: Loosely BOS, The Institute, Minute-Men, and Nuka-World Raiders.

Rank: Squire(In Fallout 3). Scribe-Knight(In Fallout 4). Scientist/Engineer(Advanced Systems/Robotics Division)? Mercenary. Field Operative/Field Agent. Assassin. Tinkerer.

Role: Self Insert OC. Fallout NPC/Companion? NOT THE SOLE SURVIVOR OR LONE WANDERER(So PLEASE DON’T tag her as either).

Most Liked Companions: Cait, Charon, X6-88, Paladin Danse, Porter Gage, Preston Garvey, and Hancock.

Least Liked Companions: Deacon. Neutral on Curie.

Preferred Weapon Type: Heavy/Energy/Melee

Primary Weapons: Combat Knife, Kellogg’s Pistol, and Cryolater.

Secondary Weapons: Big Boy, Nuka-Nuke Launcher, Alien Blaster, and Thirst Zapper.

Preferred Armor Type: Heavy Leather

Primary Armor: NONE. Just usually wear Greaser Jacket and Jeans(With Black Jeans and Black & White Converse).

Power Armor?: YES

RELATIONSHIPS:

FAMILY:

Parents:

Biological Parents: Angus Peyton Everston and Carmen Renee Ruth Everston

Step-Parents: Conrad Kellogg and Madison Li(Also NO I don’t ship them together, just see the as her step-parents)

Guardians: Aito Jun Tsukiya(Gives off that Older Brother™ vibes), Jin Kyoko Tsukiya(Gives off Aunt™ vibes), Leif Axel Gunnar(He gives off that Cool Uncle™ vibe) and Sarah Lyons(She gives off that Older Sister™ vibe)(I guess Elder Owyn Lyons would be her Guardian as well?)

God-Mother: Courtney Nicole Stevens.

Siblings:

Biological Siblings: Felix Sebastian Everston(Older Brother, that she didn’t know she had until later in Fallout 4. We Don’t Talk About Bruno vibes lol).

Step-Siblings: She grew up with Arthur Maxson since she was 9(and he was 10) until she left to go to The Commonwealth, then she meet X6-88 at The Institute.

Friends: MANY(Idk if I’ll be able to name them all but here goes, I’ll update as I remember all of them lol). My Sole Survivor Nathan Ian Howard, My Courier 6 Torin Arlen Hugh, Courtney Nicole Stevens, Liam Binet, Arthur Maxson, X6-88, Paladin Danse, Porter Gage, Overboss Colter, Charon, Edward Deegan, Scribe Haylen, Finn(The dude that Hancock kills when you first enter Goodneighbor lol), Hancock, Bobbi No-Nose, Dixie, Savoy, Nisha, Mason, Mags Black, William Black, Proctor Teagan, Proctor Ingram, Cait, and Redeye to name a few. Sorta Rhys as well. Also @m-is-for-mungo ’s OC Lily Black!

Lovers(She’s uh on and off with these tho so ya know): MANY. My Sole Survior Nathan Ian Howard, My Courier 6 Torin Arlen Hugh, Overboss Colter, Finn, Scribe Haylen, Edward Deegan, Mags Black, Nisha, Cait, and Bobbi No-Nose to name a few.

SPOUSE: NONE.

Rivals: N/A, unless you count Knight Rhys or Justin Ayo lol.

Enemies: N/A?

Children: NONE and doesn’t want any

Background(Note: I’m still in the process of writing this so it’ll seem like a mess til I get it finished all the way so please bear with me): Was born at The Citadel, making her a Squire(Since she was born into the Brotherhood of Steel). She was 5 years old when her parents(Angus Peyton Everston and Carmen Renee Ruth Everston) died to a SuperMutant Behemoth, leaving her in the care of Elder Owyn Lyons/Sarah Lyons and Leif Axel Gunnar. When she was 9(this takes place during the events of Fallout 3), she decided to leave with Madison Li to The Commonwealth. Leif was reluctant about her leaving at first, since she was basically the only like "family"(She looks alot like her dad, Angus, and Angus was Leif's Lover)he has left, but gave in and let her go, making her promise(also making Madison Li promise) to stay safe and hopefully that they'd meet again someday(They'd end up meeting during the Fire Support question for the Brotherhood of Steel. Also Alex and Nathan Ian Howard’s paths cross during this quest as well, making this the first time they meet). Alex has a family photo of her parents, Leif, Sarah, Squire Arthur Maxson, and her when she was 5. Also has one of her(When she’s 9), Conrad Kellogg, and Madison Li as well. During the events of Fallout 4, she's 19(making her a grown? woman). Conrad Kellogg and Madison Li are her step-parents since she was 9(Also NO I DON’T SHIP Madison Li and Conrad Kellogg together, I just see them as Alex’s step-parents). When Alex was 15?, She begged Kellogg to train her to be like a Mercenary/Field Operative(Like Him)? and Kellogg told her that he didn’t want her going out in The Commonwealth(saying it wasn’t safe lol, and he didn’t want her getting hurt), and it’s safer just to stay at the Institute, but Alex wasn’t having it, and was that’s the EXACT reason why you should train me, and I’m not gonna stay here forever. So, Kellogg and her trained ever since lol. Also even tho Alex IS NOT a synth/android or a courser, she also went thru the Courser rigorous training regimen and passed it. Alex also went on missions with Kellogg since she was 16. When she was 18, she heard about Nuka-World(So this takes place in 2286), and went go it, and kinda made Fizztop Grille her lil getaway home?, well until Overboss Colter and the the gangs show up, Colter was her first? boyfriend?(He technically doesn’t die in my version of Fallout 4, but I’m also working out Alex’s background with @m-is-for-mungo’s OC Lily Black’s background, and Lily kills him so. 😅😅😅😅), But ye in my version Colter never dies and stays Overboss, with Alex at his side(But she also ends up leaving for long periods of times lol), also they take over the parks, but don’t end up touching The Commonwealth.

Languages Spoken: English(Native Language), Mandarin Chinese, and American Sign Language. Somewhat of Russian.

Also this would be probably be a good time to say I have a Refsheet.Net for her as well.

Also this is an updated version of this: XXXX

#fallout #fallout 3 #fallout 4 #Eugenia Alexandra Everston #Eugenia Everston #Alex Everston #NOT the Sole Survivor #also IS NOT the Lone Wanderer #self insert oc #self insert #oc #Eugenia(aka alex. my self insert oc)#Eugenia #Eu #Alex #Fallout Character Sheet #long post #refsheet.net

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ayellowcurtain · 2 years

Note

Hello ! Could you maybe write something about Ismail and Sascha ? Like the first kiss, or the moment they admit their feelings…? Thank you very much!❤️

Hii!!!

I’m not really writing for the druck fandom anymore but i wrote a little thing for you because I can’t help it! And I’m using this answer here talking about Ismail’s pronouns to base myself so yeah, enjoy it!!

————

Sascha bites the inside of his cheek, hesitant if he should go check on Ismail…but nobody else knows what happened and he doesn’t want to lie to Isi’s mom.

He smiles at her and finally takes some steps inside, letting her excitedly close the door behind them, wrapping her arm around Umut’s shoulders, dragging him to whatever snack she said she made for them to eat.

It’s been a long, long time since he and Ismail spent time by themselves, or for more than five minutes even. But then karma made them hang out with a similar group of people exactly when they drifted apart again.

Sascha is always with Ava, and Fatou, and Nora and they are always with Kieu My and Josh and Finn…and so they are always with Ismail, and Lou, and Constantin. Those cool people that Sascha will never be. Or see the appeal even. But that makes it easier to avoid Ismail or his fake apologies. Sascha has a soft spot for him, and so he doesn’t even want to hear it again, how Ismail was so deep inside his fake friends or lovers or whatever that he couldn’t give the real people around him any care or attention to what they felt.

He tried more than enough times, gave Ismail countless ways out for his shitty behavior, and he always used those to step on Sascha again. He knows Ismail doesn’t mean it but doesn’t make it hurt less.

Months ago he got tired, and put everything out: told Ismail how he felt, how he was in love with him for years, and how Ismail never took any part of him into consideration for anything, not even their friendship and that was that. So Ismail knows the whole picture. Sascha is trying to get over it, so he needs to keep the distance to heal himself. He’ll just say hi, and turn back around to go home, that’s it. He nods his head to stick with that idea. They’ll most likely meet later tonight anyway, Ava and Nora and Zoe are throwing a party so Sascha will just pretend they can meet and talk there if things go bad.

He leans against Ismail’s locked door, taking a deep breath in before adjusting his posture and finally knocking, still getting used to having to wait for him to unlock the door if he feels like having guests.

It happens quicker than he anticipated, with no real time to prepare his heart. Isi opens the door suddenly, making his dark curls move with the wind he creates.

“Hi…”

“Hey…”

“I thought I heard you downstairs.” Ismail smiles excitedly, like he’s ignoring that they are not even talking these days.

“Yeah, I was with Umu.”

Ismail smiles with that flirty smile of his, putting his curls behind his ear. “It’s cute, when you call him Umu.”

Sascha nods his head, looking over his shoulder, not sure what to say and what he’s even supposed to do.

“Anyway, your mom wanted me to come say hi.”

Ismail laughs, finally leaving the door alone to go back inside, a quiet invite for Sascha to follow. He would usually do that when they were still best friends anyway.

He does because deep down he misses it but he keeps the door open because it’ll be quick. Ismail is getting ready already, a bunch of fancy, cool clothes pilling up on his bed, always indecisive on what to wear.

“And you’re such a prince, always so nice to everyone.” Sacha tries not to take it personally, but it stings a little too much, it’s a little too real and too hypocritical for him to let it pass without a comeback.

“Look who’s talking.”

Ismail stops trying to pick a nail polish and looks at Sascha, not as defensive as Sascha thought he would be.

“I made a song…or an attempt at a song.” He looks for something around him, grabs the overcoat on his armchair and finally finds what he’s looking it for, hiding on his palm until he comes to stand right in front of Sascha again, opening his hand to show the very old mp3 player they once shared for a couple of months until it stopped working completely.

It was Sascha’s gift for Isi on one of his birthdays and he was sure Ismail had lost it or thrown away once it wasn’t working right…

“And you can only listen when you’re alone.”

Ismail very carefully puts the little black mp3 on his hand, smiling at Sascha.

“…Why?…”

“Because!” Ismail gets a little more serious, a little more like the old Ismail, before the cool persona shit. He looks younger when he’s trying to be sorry for being so shitty and blind to what was right in front of him. “Did I fuck up so badly that you can’t do one thing that I’m asking you? Or do you think that I’m only giving you that because Consti or Lou asked me to do it? Don’t you always think I only do what they ask me to do?”

“It happens more often than not.” Sascha finally closes his hand, putting the mp3 inside his pocket to listen when he’s alone. He can’t stop his brain from being curious, wondering what Ismail recorded for him and only for him to listen to…

“I’m not with Lou, you know?” Ismail almost whispers, and the change of tone gets Sascha’s attention again. Ismail never speaks that way, shy and cute, and he’s never that clear with his words either.

“It’s not my problem, Isi. I’m happy if you’re happy. That’s about it.”

“Really? You don’t give a shit anymore? It’s been over a year and you’re still hurt…”

Sascha sighs, looking at the door, thinking he’s overstaying already.

“I’m not hurt. I’m just tired. And it’s done now, we’re different too.”

Things are different. He came to a point where it’s basically impossible to be the old Sascha anyway.

He held back for far too long, and now that all his feelings for his best friend are out since that fight, putting those words out gave him room to grow as his own person too. And Ismail had a lot of drama with Constantin and Lou after that too, and Sascha knows he’s trying to find his path, trying to find a healthier way to be himself or whatever. And Sascha is proud of him for it, and he knows Ismail is well aware of that, even if Sascha never told him. They’ve been friends for long enough that he doesn’t have to say it for now. Maybe once things are clearer for Ismail.

He sees it happening but he doesn’t do anything. Ismail comes closer carefully, looking at him, searching for any sign that Sascha wants him to stop but he’s frozen. His skin goes raw and sensitive when Ismail puts his hands on his shoulders, his fingers carefully touching the sides of Sascha’s neck before he presses their lips together for what feels like a whole minute.

He waited so long for something like this, and Ismail’s lips feel so nice, and warm, and perfect but Sascha steps back before Ismail takes things any further.

He fake coughs, scratches his eyes, trying not to have a heart attack.

“Why are you so perfect? Prince-charming type of human?” Ismail asks quietly, standing exactly where Sascha was.

He steps back again, trying to focus on something else than his heart beating fast and loud inside his ears, on his lips. He’s so stupid, he’s kissed an enough amount of people before, more than just a quick touch of lips and he’s still freaking out, only because it’s Ismail, it’s finally Ismail.

“Of course you would be bothered by someone being nice to you for once, hoping you take good care of yourself.”

“Do you want to go to the party with me? We could finally hang out again, get ready and go together. It would be nice.”

Sascha shakes his head. That’s way too much, he doesn’t have enough self control to spend that much time with Ismail again without all the old feelings rushing back to the surface.

“No, I have to go home yet, take a shower and…you know, do all the pre-party you party people do.”

“You’re gonna go to Ava’s for a pre-game or something?”

Sasha nods his head again, thinking he has to listen to the mp3 before anything else. Ismail bites the corner of his lips, nodding his head too.

“Cool…”

It doesn’t matter how much time passes, Sascha misses Ismail. Maybe he learned how to deal with it better, and Ava is an amazing friend that teaches you how to give yourself some proper worth, but it’s hard to not miss him and to forget his old feelings completely.

Ava says he’s so good with plants that it makes him treat his feelings like plants: taking so much good care of them that it’s hard to kill them completely. He knows Ismail is trying, and Sascha meant it when he said Ismail wasn’t alone but still. He’s in no way, shape or form getting himself involved in any of the Constantin, Lou drama mess.

“And you? Not meeting the instas?” Sascha teases, trying to make it a little less awkward.

“Nope. Just gonna get ready and go later, I guess…”

“You’re looking beautiful, Isi…see you tonight.”

Ismail smiles sadly, one hand squeezing his index finger in front of him. “Thank you, habibi. See you tonight.”

Sascha turns on his heels and leaves the room, carefully closing the door behind him. Their timing is just messy. He has to hold the handrail to go down the stairs and not fall on his face, still digesting what just happened. He has no idea how tonight will go after that, hanging out with everyone that he likes and the ones he doesn’t get along with, all in the same room, with alcohol. And then there’s Ismail too.

#sascha #ismail #ismail x sascha #saschmail

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surpriserose · 2 years

Note

Hi Chris! Live action stone ocean :]

NoooooOOOOOO 😭😭😭

God okay jts under the cut its so long i hate it so much

Jolyne is played by chloe bennet who i only know from the stupid powerpuff girls cw thing which would basically end up being powerpuff girls riverdale but i dont think its happening anymore. Anyways someone who is willing to be on the cw is willing to star in this im sorry

Hermes is played by Aubrey plaza who is apparently Puerto Rican so the producers can say theyre trying even though hermes still has dreads and it looks really awkward. Also not everyone sees hermes as butch but since i do and i want to cause as much psychic damage as possible hermes is advertised as very masc but its definitely these vibes

And it leads to so much discourse about how women can still be feminine and kick ass uwu 🥺🥺🥺. Also hermes kisses some random woman who is VERY MUCH NOT jolyne so they can say they have gay rep. Jolynes bisexuality is completely erased </3

Foo fighters im giving to kaitlyn dever who...i only know as the love interest from dear evan hansen and she probably deserves better than that </3 but anyways shes kind of got a baby face and idk a lot of people love to give that to foo so. Also foo is not nonbinary here and uses she/her pronouns 😔😔😔 and shes probably just some random prisoner since they dont want to spread the cgi budget too thin. Also foo is so so normal in this im sorry shes guy some lady (derogatory) you are not gonna see her doing any of the weird shit she does

Anasui is god i think i have to go for tom Holland who has no swag and anasui definitely needs to be played by someone with swag if you want people to even tolerate him so </3 it doesnt matter tho its tom holland he gets a dedicated fanbase the second the cast list is out and anasui becomes an uwu soft boy. Also hes got short hair now and wears like an actual outfit 😡 i dont even think they would dye tom hollands hair you cant mess up his image at all he needs to he so so marketable so they manage to make anasui as cishet as possible

Weather report ....idk but i want to say oscar isaac? Like its another case of i can definitely see it because no matter how much of a tumblr sanction man he becomes hes still a good actor. I want to say more but its definitely spoilers just know this causes so much discourse and its actually justified

Emporio idk who are the kid actors nowadays??? I want to say like fucking one of the stranger things kids but theyre all like 20 now or some shit. I think instead of going for finn wittock again theyre casting gavin matarazzo because emporio is now the comic relief kid im so sorry

Pucci....hmmm the first name that came to mind was Jonathan majors and like idk i can see it? Which is kind of the problem thats too good i like him and i technically wasted my one good casting card with oscar isaac except not really but also i cant have two good actors here oh christ i thought about don cheadle......no i cant do that to him but like hes actually closer in age to pucci than anyone else coming to mind omg i like don cheadle but omg....idk i cant see it so its don cheadle for pucci

Idk who the fuck i casted for dio and jotaro but like sure theyre probably still the same im not casting the minor villains im so sorry except i think they get andy serkis the weird cgi man to play lane wrangler

Other points

So many orange is the new black references especially if we're going for netflix adaptation vibes and not cw vibes

Kiss has boobs now 😔 so does stand foo fighters now probably 😔😔😔

Everyone looks so boring now but thats a given...i think they give anasui khakis

They probably get a camilla cabello song for the opening and oh god i remembered camilla cabello Cinderella....NO OH GOD BILLY PORTER IS LIKE OLD ENOUGH TO BE PUCCI TOO 😭😭😭 HE CANT PULL IT OFF IM SORRY move over don Cheadle youve been spared billy porter pucci hurts me more...

Anyways!!!

Lots of #girlboss and #girlpower feminism like...think the random shot of all the marvel women in endgame for 10 seconds and then they all lose or whatever its like that like they probably give anasui and weather more fights and screentime but jolyne is men am i right 🤪

Jolysui is canon and it is so so cishet </3</3</3 theyre definitely having a big climactic kiss

Jolyne probably has the whole biker gang stuff erased from her backstory so shes sweet and innocent uwu and its replaced with a father daughter bonding montage so the audience can go awww jotaro rly does care....🥺🥺🥺

Im torn between them making conservative pucci real and or gay and homophobic pucci real...probably the second one and its definitely played for laughs also puccis probably just some guy like this stone ocean is not gonna go off the rails

Jolynes mom still doesnt have a name

#Jjba #Stone ocean #Ask to tag?#Im so sorry this is so painful....

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roarkfm · 2 years

Text

( jacob elordi . he / him . cis male . 25 . ) introducing … FINN ROARK ! i heard they’re a observant, proactive, disrespectful bisexual & capricorn, and their partner persuaded them to join WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY. they think their partner has joined the cast of WILL THEY OR WON’T THEY, because their relationship is a mask he uses to impress his parents. but FINN ? they think their relationship WON’T make it. ( t. age. she/her. cst. none. )

Basic Information

Full Name: finn roark Nickname(s): ro Age: 25 Date of Birth: january 6 Gender: cis male Pronouns: he/him Orientation: bisexual Religion: a so-so christian Occupation: paralegal \ law student

Physical Appearance

Face Claim: jacob elordi Hair Color: brown Eye Colour: brown Height: 6’5” Weight: 190lbs Build: athletic Tattoos: none Piercings: none Usual Expression: neutral

Personality

Label: the philophobic Positive Traits: observant, proactive, analytical, intelligent Negative Traits: disrespectful, selfish, sneaky, haughty Sleeping Habits: prefers a noisemaker of some kind, but always wakes up before the sun. Eating Habits: very much an eat out kind of guy. Exercise Habits: spends nearly every morning at the gym or running the road by his house, and he keeps a pretty regular lifting routine. Sociability: doesn’t necessarily need to be around people, and when he is, people often say he’s the stoic type. he just prefers to listen until the time is right. Drug Use: experimental. Alcohol Use: socially.

Favorites

Weather: winter Color: hunter green Food: chocolate cake

History

his mother is a starlet who moved to california shortly after she graduated to star in a soap opera that everyone and their grandmother obsess over in his early years. his father graduated magna cum laude at an ivy league and decided running their city was his main priority. somewhere in the mix finn gets left behind, a problem for the nannies, the gardeners, and the cooks. he loves them all, considering them as his family every night as he falls asleep counting the notches on the posts of his bed.

his teen years bring rebellion to their marbled doorstep, but no one is home to notice. the staff loves him too much to allow his parents to find out, even if they care enough to stop by once every six months. he back talks teachers, gets suspended, and rewards himself but shooting golf balls off the roof of his home. when parents are called in, his driver and maid show up and earn an extra grand for pretending to care. he is a well oiled machine craving attention from the two people who ignore him most.

he graduates, goes to college, and surprisingly he gets through with high marks. he thanks his father’s dismissive comment about paying off the school to get his diploma if things go south. it is a cracked door, one he puts his foot in to stop. his intelligence holds strong, and he thinks that will be enough. he laughs about it now as he drinks whiskey over legal documents. he could paint himself red and his parents wouldn’t notice, unless, somehow, it reflects negatively on them. he never stops trying anyway.

law school comes next, and then he finds a girl. she isn’t just any girl. she’s the perfect girl, and she’s the first one he ever pushes his parents to meet. he makes this happen under the guise of love, longevity, and future plans. in truth, it is just one more neon sign directed in the wrong direction. despite himself, he grows fond of her, and his parents do, too. it gives him a sense of pride to walk around with her on his arm, and even if he isn’t ready to take the next step, he isn’t quite sure he’s ready to let her go either.

hence, paradise reality show. he fights it at first, finding the idea of the world seeing their relationship issues up close repulsive, but over time she wins. he does want to have to hurt her, so he chooses the lesser evil. the one that puts him on national television.

#intro. | my heart is way too frozen to be broken.#realityintro

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gay-otlc · 3 years

Text

Keepers Of The Chaos (Chapter 1)

The first chapter of the Tumblr KOTLC Fandom Fandom story is here!

Summary: Tam, Linh, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh's podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing

Word count: 1204

Read on AO3

Linh leans into the microphone. "Welcome to the Twins of the Chaos podcast," she says.

"Where some chaotic twins discuss our favorite show, Keepers of the Chaos," adds Tam. He tugs at his silver tipped bangs. "I'm Tam, and my sister's Linh, and today, we're going to be talking about why you should watch KOTC. Now, if you're one of our five regular listeners, you've probably already seen it, but feel free to share this with a friend or relative to convince them to watch this show!"

Smiling, Linh takes the microphone back and continues. "In this show, there's a group of very, very chaotic friends who all go to Tumblr High School together. As soon as they return after New Year's, their principal informs the school of a writing competition taking place between high schools, with other opportunities for extras like drawing or animation. Every member of the winning team gets a free scholarship to an arts school the characters all want to go to, but don't like their chances of getting in normally or paying, so they sign up. Through the nine episode season, taking place over the month of January, the characters in the writing competition start on the premise, get sidetracked, come up with some truly horrifying ideas, write some gay short stories, and, as the title promises, act very chaotic."

"Now, the writing prompt that the group has to build on is kind of... fuckin' weird," Tam says, barely resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "They have to write about a girl named Sophia, who's twelve years old and can read minds, who meets a teal- yes, teal- eyed boy named Finn, who tells her she's an elf. Then, she travels to the elf world, where she struggles a bit at elf school, makes friends with some other elves, learns that she is an illegal creation of a rebel group called the Dark Duck, and another rebel group- the Rarelynoticed- tries to kidnap and kill Sophia and her friend Deck. And yes, we're aware that the names are shitty but the characters in the show really get into mocking them, so that's an upside."

Linh laughs a little at the names. "There are a lot of rebels, you might have noticed," she adds.

Tam nods. "Yeah, I noticed. There are a lot of rebels because their government sucks. There's a council of twelve really old elves, and only two of them are alright, then one of those two dies, and then one of the previously bad ones turns good."

"The characters in the show were given a very detailed list of worldbuilding, plot, and character details. We don't have to read the whole thing, though- they just consult it when it's relevant."

"But writing about Sophia and the Dark Duck isn't the only plot of KOTC, thankfully. We also get to see the competitors writing Dark Duck interact with one another and have fun. It makes connections to real life events- mainly through Bernie Sanders memes, but whatever. Bernie Sanders memes are funny."

"Bernie Sanders memes are funny," says Linh, nodding seriously. "And yes. There are some romantic ships in there- like Amelia and Akki, or Shai/Lynn/Tater, but there are also close friendships, and you get to see the group bond over their shared desire to get the scholarship, and their collective love of chaos, so the more platonic aspect is definitely given screen time as well."

"Which, given how often shows center only on romance, is really great," Tam agrees.

"The show also does really incredibly with including diverse characters. Pretty much none of them are both straight and cis, and most of them are neither."

Tam grins. "Right, and no one really makes a big deal about it. They mention it when relevant, of course, and some have homophobic parents, but they have depth beyond getting the authors ally cookies or whatever. Everyone uses correct pronouns, or apologizes when they screw up, and everyone's pronouns are validated no matter how 'weird' or 'confusing' it might be."

"The show also has a lot of good religious diversity, with quite a few Jewish characters, who make sure it's very clear that they're Jewish."

"Yeah, one of the characters- Shai- starts a movement to turn all the Sophia and the Dark Duck characters Jewish as well."

"It doesn't succeed, but good job to aer for trying," Linh says, sighing sadly.

They fall silent for a little while as Tam checks their episode outline, scribbled in Linh's rather illegible handwriting. "Linh, what the fuck does this say?"

Brow furrowing, Linh asks "You can't read my handwriting?"

"No, I can't!"

She sighs. "It very clearly says 'great characters- discuss,'" she huffs.

"Yeah, no one can read your handwriting. Also, we should probably cut this out when we edit."

Linh nods. "Probably, yeah."

Tam leans in closer to the microphone and starts speaking into it again. "The competition has fifty something participants- fifty two, was it?" He looks to Linh for confirmation, who nods again. "Fifty two. But somehow, all of the characters have their own distinct personalities and stories and interests, and they're shown as complex human beings."

"Yeah, that's always been my favorite part of the show. The characters are just so interesting. Canon manages to focus on them a lot more than I would have thought possible, but it still doesn't give us all the details- since it has to balance so many people, it can't spend a long time focusing on just one- so there's a lot of room for speculation in the fandom. Some get noticeably more or less focus than others. Like, Lynn and her fiancees get kind of a lot, while I wish some of my favorite characters like Specs or Charlene got a bit more screen time. But everyone gets some, no one gets too many, and the fandom is there to fill in the gaps!"

"Yeah, and the fandom is fantastic," says Tam. "There aren't a whole lot of us, which we wish would change because the show is really great, but we're a good fandom to be in. There's not usually a lot of discourse, and there are so many talented people making content. lordofthesnuggles's theories for season two are always so detailed and logical that I lowkey suspect he writes for the show, and thehunkiestofhunkyhair makes fantastic fanart."

Snapping her fingers, Linh exclaims. "Oh, and les-biana has the best fanfictions."

Tam coughs, and mutters "Yeah, you like Biana's fanfictions."

"Oh, like you're any different with Keefe," Linh huffs.

There aren't any visuals, so no listeners of the podcast can prove Tam was blushing. "Anyway, the first- and currently only- season starts with everyone signing up for the competition, no idea what they're in for, and ended with half of them wearing sleeping masks with teal eyes painted on and the other half watching the chaos with mild amusement. It's entertaining as fuck, and very well written, so do go check it, recommend it to your friends, let Keepers of the Chaos take over the world, whatever you like."

"Thanks for listening to the Twins of the Chaos podcast, and have an amazing day!" Linh finishes, and she stops recording.

#shai types things #tumblr kotlc fandom fandom #cursing tw #shai's writing

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