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minalblood · 4 months

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I'm back and I'm so sorry! I won't make any promises for the last 2 ep of the Winchesters, but I will be reviewing/rewatching them anyways just ... who knows when, I dont!

But let's get started on You've got a Friend 1x11.

I hopefully will be a bit less rambly since O have a draft of my thoughts already written for this and its less... as Im watching (i can post that too if yall wanna but dunno if ull understand my handwriting)

We begin where we left off and I love that we have this scene of them needing to clean up, adds realism, adds dimension to the world. Love also that we begin with Lata being the Lata we all love - dejected in this case about her chimera paw was ruined. Queue Carlos with the teasing. The 2 of em banter a bit before Mary redirects us all to the matter at hand.

And Mary has come a long way in these episodes, because she may not join the banter (still closed off somewhat as opposed to Carlos and Lata's easy repartee) but she is going off of it and adding them into her area of interest.

But all stops when John come in blood soaked and in shock - Mary instantly worried he might be hurt, but nope, not this time.

I am so happy to see them portray the actual shock and numbness John is feeling, then the guilt and sadness, just all the reaction to Kyle's death really. And considering the survivor's guilt John is lugging around, it makes it even more heartbreaking. I also love seeing that Mary is the level headed one here - she,.imo, is clearly pushing down the grief to focus on John's issues here, hell we see very little of her grieving in this episode and everytime we do, she's quick to redirect that feeling into action - sometimes into violence point blank. She does it here, asking what the Akrida could want, she does it even moreso with Millie, where she does open up a bit since Millie is offering comfort, but then it turns into Millie coming with a plan which directly leads to Mary wanting to storm the police station guns blazing and the ep ends with Mary and John discussing Kyle (also god Mary looks absolutely exhausted here, fuck) but Mary derails it by saying they need to find Dean instead. She's def not allowing herself the moment to deal with Kyle's death which may prove relevant when discussing next episode.

I'd forgotten this ep was the Lata episode. Like ep 8 was Carlos', this one is Lata's. And god does it hurt.

1st, move the feather boa, Carlos!

2nd, I do genuinely believe Lata and Maggie were together. Everything in this episode points that way to me (but especialy the sweetpea nickname) We'll round back to this though.

The other thing we note in the sequence in Maggie's room is how close Carlos and Lata are to each other. Which we knew, but I always love seeing it again in action.

Before we continue with the emotional core of this ep, we have to get back to plot with Betty! I love Betty..I also can't blame her for being ....hesitant to say the least. Like imagine what she's seen so far: the guy who, before leaving to the marines illegally, proposed to her, is suddently interacting with, apparently, imfamous Mary Campbell, who is seen at several murder/investigation scenes suddenly appears ro have killed someone? And she already knows John had anger issues before hand. Like i get her here. And still shes trying to be nice while doing her job.

Which leads me to the next part, her job. So the detective... he's wording (even with him being really Akrida) echoes a lot of corrupt cop rethoric which only gets further emphasized when he later threatens to have John... killed 'accidently'. And, on top of them, speaking pf policw corruption even a 'good cop' like Betty becomes complicit simply because of the power the Akrida gained via the detective role cuz she was unwittingly helping them throughout.

But god, was John a bit too cocky here. (My notes have this marked as "this is why you let villains monologue, John!"). Especially since he actually doesn't have any info on Dean. (Love that we see the pic of Dean, missed him) l.

Meanwhile Lata and Carlos have found the bracelet and it's fucked them over. Also, I fucking hate the shadows thing, very creepy. Also also it reminds me of the daeva that Meg uses in s1 of SPN. I'm also reminded of SPN with the story the detective tells John about how they'll get rid of him - SPN's own crooked cop ep featured exactly this sorta plan too, but in killing Dean.

Really though, the main thing I found interesting upon rewatch is just how much Lata is our Dean mirror in this one. Specifically, in getting targeted by the bracelet she's forced to relive a trauma (Sania's death) via Carlos acting as substitute, only this time she succeeds where prior she thought she failed (which lemme make clear, no, Lata was at no point and in no way at fault, but she did internalize that guilt - much like Dean tends to internalize guilt) . Which Dean, much like Lata ends up doing when getting involved with this universe, ends up reliving a trauma (his parents death - Mary especially) of something he failed, in his mind, to prevent/save via rescuing this universe's Mary. And much like Lata, who can't undo what happened to Sania, but can "begin to make it better" (the Hey Jude line just hit me so I had to use it), so too can Dean. It won't change what happened in his life, wont save his mom, but it will help him heal nonetheless.

Adding to this Maggie? Who opperates as a Cas parallel here - she was Lata's person, who shared everything with Lata but Lata couldn't in turn for fear of judgement/shame, who notably is dead and thus Lata can't ever reveal her secret to. Well, it hurts is what it does.

But watching this I noticed another interesting thing though, for all that the bracelet seems to work like Osiris (pulling on the guilt the person feels is most agregious), the bracelet actually seems to want the wearer to get out. Carlos is taken just as Lata begins wondering which secret it's trying to make her face and is sent to Sania's room - direct answer. Then later,.even more blatant, using Maggie's face, tries to get Lata to disclose the secret, but Lata talks around it instead til the creature takes her too.

It seems like Erebus had a test for his warriors, one he wanted them to win.

Throughout all of Lata's story, I was seething. I truly hate her family and Carlos was 100% saying exactly what I was thinking.

Another thing I appreciated though, about Carlos, is the emotional maturity. Yes they were dying and yes it was urgent that Lata disclose her secret but Carlos made certain to reassure her throughout. Tried to give her as much space as possible.

In other thoughts, Lata's mom making that "vs family" distinction, uuuh it rattled sth in me only to them have Lata say "my parents would never look at m the same way"? In the Dean Winchester show? God, the echoes of John's shitty parenting were deafening. Bur yes to eveything Carlos said. It truly wasnt Lata's fault.

And I adore also the ending conversation between Lata and Carlos (both wearing blue and god I want Carlos' coat) because yes, this kind of stuff shouldn't be forced out on anither persons whim. Lata doesn't have to tell John and Mary anything, it is her story to tell, but also yes, Carlos is right to reassure her that if she wants to share it with them, they'll likely react well like he did. And yes the reason this particular scene hit so hard is partially personal, but because of that it drove me insane in SPN where there was a tendency for people to push other to open up at their own whim (and yes, Sam did it often to mutiple people, hounding them until they cracked and spilled whatever trauma they were trying to deal with but then have nothing to give in return, no comfort or even really reaction, and yes he most of all did it to Dean a lot and it did puss me off) So yea, love this episode for the Lata and Carlos of it all!

Also I have a few questions, when Millie was trying to convince Betty about the supernatural, at one point she said "it's not like-" and cut off. She was trying to defend against the accusation of 'playing make believe). Also, Betty says sth like "Mary, I expected.this from" with relation once more to her not believing in monsters soooo.... has Mary ever been taken in under suspicion of being delusional? Was Millie? Or John?! I've questions ok i need y'alls opinions on this one.

Also, I would've soo cracked if the Akrida asked about Dean, cuz I def miss him a lot and id fucking gush about him at that point.

Anyways, that's it for this one. See you guys next time where we'll be clowning (have I mentioned I hate clowns?)

@noybusiness thanks for push earlier this month, i needed that a lot and thanks for the support for this rewatch ❤

@shallowseeker thanks the new posts, been inspiring me to get back to writing this ❤

#spnwin #spnwin rewatch #spnwin 1x11 #also yea it wasnt much shorter than my usual #which is a problem since it fucking 3.30am here and ive work tomorrow #oh well #it was fun tho

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dogtoling · 4 months

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💚❤️✂️🥊 engel. you mightve alluded to some of this stuff in the lore comics but im bad at reading subtext and its kinda hard to find everything for just one character at a time

I'm honestly impressed that the previous ask was also engel and the same emoji wasnt picked twice! also that's completely fine i do comics once in a blue moon anyway. most of my oc lore is in random drawings to be honest

💚 - What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Contrary to popular belief he is a cis guy. People have been misgendering him and thinking he's a girl for like 10 years now. Honestly, he doesn't really care, masculinity means nothing to him and he generally enjoys fucking with gender expression. He doesn't even mind being referred to with feminine terms (he refers to himself as "girlfailure" with high frequency). But with all that, he IS still a guy; he just doesn't let people limit him based on that.

Sexuality is a whole other can of worms because he has literally no idea. He's spent most of his life (especially surface life) in some kind of limbo, confused, sheltered, all of those things, or just focused on something completely disconnected from the concepts of romance or sexuality. He's never entered a social situation or a friendship with the intent to make it into anything more, and the only times he's been in inherently intimate situations have been when they've been unexpectedly pushed onto him (which he doesn't really like). It's... not really something he's thought about. Or naturally stumbled upon. It's not like people around him aren't dabbling with relationships, but he's never considered doing one himself. Or wanted to? He doesn't know if he'd even be comfortable trying. It's not like he doesn't think some people are cute, but is that... what IS that? He's not too fussed about it but he's been a little conflicted.

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

now he DOES actually keep good memories and cherish them. You could argue he daydreams and dwells on the past a little too much. Most of his good memories are band memories, of course, he has a TON of good memories with his friends. There's very few things that can match the euphoria of being on stage, finishing a set and just taking in the noise from the crowd. And basically cooking in the stage lights to the point of lightheadedness, but still having to be dragged off the stage because that feeling is SO special, such a special connection to all those people who felt touched by your singing, and the culmination of sitting on the floor for many months and many nights on end writing down shit that ends up as song, and then that actually going somewhere and resonating. It's SO special.

So to put it short, most of the gigs he's got to do are HIGH UP on that list. Studio sessions with the band, friendly banter, going for pizza afterwards. Fan meets. Some memories going all the way back to his teens, finishing a Turf match with his team and going out for ice cream, with him just sticking around and coming along despite having no idea what they're doing. And of course album releases. Interviews with a few kind of dodgy questions thrown in there that make him double take. Celebrating Squidmas with his friends and family and feeling like he belongs somewhere for once. Those kinds of things.

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

He has a bunch of bad memories. That much is pretty obvious. But we're only picking one, and I can think of one right now, so let's do that one.

Dodo leaving the band. HOLY CRAP. The moment it happened really didn't feel like a super defining event in Engel's life when it was fresh, but it was Bad. It is almost singlehandedly The Thing that derailed his life completely for the next few years. Initially he thought he wasn't serious, and once it turned out that he actually WAS serious and that he wasn't interested anymore and wouldn't be playing, it was more disappointing and upsetting for that tear in the friendship and the loss of something he felt connected them. Connected the whole team, even!

But it rapidly became apparent that it actually meant the band was just Over. Once it really set in, Engel couldn't just randomly pick up a new guitarist, because it's literally not the same thing and this was a huge change. Dodo pretty much cut him off completely, probably tired of him sending five billion messages every day asking him to reconsider, or maybe do part-time even??? And him suddenly leaving didn't only have an effect of "whoops, better get a new guitarist, then we keep going"; it was demoralizing for everyone involved. And with the synergy of a team that'd played together for several years, in tune and in sync with each other's feelings, it was jarring to just lose that in one moment.

Just over time, that short conversation has pretty much morphed into one of the worst memories he can recall just because while it didn't feel like much in the moment, he's now able to look back and actually realize how much went wrong directly shooting off from that One Thing. The band was pretty much his whole personality at that point in time and, poof, gone. AND his whole dream, and the trajectory that his life was on in that moment - which felt like the correct one. But then it was just gone.

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Engel is a very creative person. He's also very social! So his favorite things to do are generally things that have to do with those two things. Obviously, songwriting is up there as one of his top favorite things; while he does most of the lyrics by himself alone on his floor, he looks forward the most to presenting those lyrics and his ideas for the songs to others, reworking them, coming up with even better ideas together, and of course creating full songs in the end. He would be at the studio 24/7 if that was sustainable and he didn't have a job and everyone else had the same level of burning passion that he does. But outside of music, he has some creative hobbies in crafts, mostly when it comes to outfit design; making bracelets and accessories and customizing clothes he already has. Just, with him having a day job, most of his free time tends to go into being on InkTok for 6 hours straight nowadays, and then just sleeping.

Most of the things he hates to do are chores honestly. Mostly to the point that he just doesn't do them. He has zero self-control or drive to do things that don't actively excite him, most of the time. So stuff like doing dishes, or mopping, or moving things off the floor, or changing the bed or doing laundry or... anything... it's usually not happening. In fact, it feels kind of unfair putting those things in this category, given he's usually NOT doing those things until he has literally no choice. If there's no immediate reward in it? It's not happening. Come on now yeah you can do the dishes but guess what? As soon as you eat cereal again that FUCKING BOWL will be in the sink again. And guess what? His kitchen is the size of a shoebox because he has so little space in his apartment and so many things and belongings in it that every ounce of habitable desk space is taken up by some Object already. It's horrible. It's an endless spiral. It's inescapable.

thanks for the ask!

#mailbox #dodo ocs #btw his executive dysfunction is debilitating and it's relatable. it's so bad.

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kokitschi · 1 year

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"like, once he's got miu and gonta killed, it's like nooo im totally not acting out because i feel extremely guilty. nooo this kamikaze plan is definitely not a direct result of that. i am simply the antagonist. im evil and crazy and this is what is in character for me. this is simply my curtain call."

I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT NOOO. but YES omg that. plays SUCH a part. he's trying SO hard to make himself completely logical and cold and calculating to help everyone without all those silly caveats. but he's HUMAN and he FEELS and he's doing this to help everyone and he feels so so bad about everything he's doing (except he's not, obviously, that's sooo dumb why would he feel bad about helping everyone? you're so dumb :/ NO HE'S NOT CRYING SHUT UP)

ohh and that SO helps him detach from everything doesn't it. he so THOROUGHLY sees himself as the antagonist because of his own guilt that he starts planning his own downfall, literally becoming his own worst enemy because he cannot let this shit continue but also he's the one doing it? and it's for the good of everyone? but that's what every villain says.

(man writes his own narrative. tsumugi who?)

(no seriously my most self-indulgent headcanon is that so much of kokichi's bullshit was completely unplanned. like they wrote the characters and some of their progression but they did NOT plan for this so every time some more crazy bullshit happens and tsumugi's got her whole "omg O_O that's so weird guys!!" schtick going it's almost COMPLETELY genuine because internally she's genuinely just going "what the fuck??? i did not sign up for this shit." layers upon layers of pretending. also it's my silly little way of letting kokichi win in my brain. because he DID confuse the mastermind. even if it was mostly just a series of inconveniences.)

anyway your brain is iconic. got me rotating.

im still not over how many crying sprites this guy has - and i also think it's pretty clear when he's fake crying and when he isn't and he certainly was crying for real after the fourth trial.

i think it's very wonderful how emotional he actually is - like, yes, he's logical, smart and he can be cold af. but he also gets happy and sad, he gets devastated and super angry, he gets annoyed and he gets proud. and sure, sometimes he does exaggerate and he lies (a lot) - but i don't think it's all lies. i think he likes to pretend like it is though. and well, what's that one quote... "he wears a mask and his face grows to fit it" or smth like that

and i think that's an important aspect - because no matter how much you tell yourself that it's just a role, a mask - in the end you're still the one doing everything. you are how you act.

and i think kokichis very self aware in this aspect. ch 4 happens and he knows, this isn't something he can come back from. he fucked up beyond repair. and while he did already believe himself to be the villain, and perhaps this was a self fulfilling prophecy of a kind, i think actually having something like basically killing two people on your conscience gives it a whole different weight.

i think he had to confront the reality at this point and i think it made him despair a bit - which then leads to the kamikaze plan. (because why does someone who was just willing to sacrifice two people for his own survival suddenly choose to basically kill himself? and trust someone else to end the game?)

i love the hc that kokichi did genuinely derail the whole game! i think it's credible enough too, considering the absolute mess that was chapter 6.

and monokuma sometimes really seemed to have personal beef with him which to me says that he was actually getting pissed at him lol

tsumugi also seemed to be quite wary of him - though you can also interpret that as her setting him up as the antagonist ig. i think it was both.

my brain is very honored ♥️

i very much enjoy yours too :D

#i hope my word vomit made sense lol #it's like 3am for me #tbh i personally still believe that kokichi faked his death 🧍#the crux of the argument is that we never saw his corpse and that's like mystery genre 101 #no body no death #there's more hints towards it but i kinda forgot some but there's write ups around #but that would also come with a lot of new questions and youd have to recontextualize and stuff

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lesbianrobin · 1 year

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do you have any star wars opinion u would like to share omg i love hearing ur stranger things opinions and you are so right about them i think it’d be fun to hear your star wars ones. even if you’re not really into star wars like it’d still be funny i think.

+ also my sister has a heart-shaped mini waffle maker and it’s so cute😭🫶🏻 we used to have a waffle maker that got a full clover like 4 hearts that we would separate when we were little. fun tangent to get into but my mom has a Thing for bakery apparel she literally bought so many waffle makers over the course of her life. like i’m saying this for the years i can remember we’ve got at least 6 “new” ones.

(also last thing i promise just wanted to let you know on your ask box title is too long on mobile you can only see the beginning and end with suspension dots in the middle. like you can guess what it says but yeah😭)

ok first of all im so sorry for taking so long but anyway HI i fixed my ask box title thank you for letting me know <3 and omg i have so many star wars opinions idk where to start so i'll just drop some random ones. SPOILERS FOR LIKE THE WHOLE STAR WARS FRANCHISE HERE WARNING.

basically every modern use of luke skywalker in star wars is ooc as fuck. like the luke of the original trilogy just straight up is not the same guy as the luke of the sequel trilogy or the mandalorian. he got bodysnatched at some point.

the prequels are bad like genuinely all three of them are so bad not only as star wars movies but as films in general. if you still enjoy them like sure have fun yknow i liked parts of them but when people try to argue that they're Good Actually that is insane.

rogue one is the best star wars movie outside of the original trilogy. like no contest. it doesn't try to rely on nostalgia or cgi or obvious parallels to the og trilogy, it just tells a story!! this is gonna sound silly but it's good because it's like. an actual movie. the characters of rogue one (ignoring andor which occurred after the fact for reasons that i cannot explain) are generally confined to rogue one and die at the end, meaning that the film was forced to tell a complete story and get the audience emotionally invested enough for the film's ending to feel significant and powerful. which is what a new hope did. because it had to be a good movie in order for there to be more movies in order to make star wars a thing. yknow. anyway.

the force awakens is actually pretty solid as the intended foundation for a new trilogy with new lovable characters and an inspirational story etc but after that kylo ren's whole existence just derailed the sequels as a whole and luke's characterization was so painful i just couldn't stand it. finn should have been the lead of the new trilogy with rey and poe as his leia and han but well. it was probably racism. like i'm not involved personally idk exactly what went down but i think people were just racist.

poe suddenly gaining a shady backstory that runs counter to the everything about him in the force awakens? also probably racist.

also everyone that wants to fuck kylo ren is going to hell no exceptions. sorry to my ex roommate carrie i love her but she's going down. also everyone who ships reylo or reads those tiktok books that are just reylo fic with the names changed? they're going to superhell.

the mandalorian is incredibly competent and entertaining as a show like separate from star wars as a franchise and i think the show is at its best when its engagement with existing characters like luke and ahsoka is extremely limited. not everything has to be about the skywalkers. like star wars is about a whole Galaxy and yet sometimes it feels like it's about a single fucking neighborhood the way the same bitches keep popping up everywhere across all media.

on that note i adore star wars jedi: fallen order and i think one of its greatest strengths is its use of original characters and avoidance of existing ones. like i may be wrong but i'm pretty sure the only character in fallen order that we knew Before fallen order was darth vader and i think that works really well! you go the whole game encountering new villains and allies and planets and stories and then suddenly it's like Oh Holy Shit That's Darth Fucking Vader. it's scary!! it's shocking!!! it's exciting and satisfying!!!! i just love that game so much sorry. cal kestis is my baby and i'm amped about jedi: survivor but i'm also so scared they will ruin him somehow. everybody please pray for my boy.

i'm gonna stop now but i think a lot of my opinions just kinda boil down to like. star wars should not be the mcu. i'm not against spinoffs entirely, i Adore the mandalorian and jedi: fallen order even more than i like the original trilogy, but things really don't need to overlap so much! using cgi carrie fisher for a single scene in rogue one made sense. using cgi luke skywalker for multiple episodes in the mandalorian is just dumb. the way they literally resolved the main plotline of the mandalorian in the boba fett show is ridiculous. star wars is fun and exciting and inspiring and disney sucks and i just hope that the mcu model becomes financially detrimental to them somehow and they pull it back soon.

#asks #em talks #star wars

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el-im · 2 years

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as a mixed person... I have always been repulsed by narratives about spock/analyses of his behavior which paint him as someone ceaselessly divided between two cultures instead of a whole individual being pulled in different directions by the influences he’s been exposed to. framing his mindset as one with two separate and distinct halves oversimplifies his conflicts over how he should conduct himself (see: preparing himself for the kolinahr ritual for years (the original translation provided for the speech of the kolinahr master refers to ‘many seasons’) but neglecting to complete the final ritual at the last moment) and his conflict about expression regarding his interpretation of himself (which often involves an appraisal of himself as being overly revealing--for a vulcan--but through subtleties that only close friends (in this case bones) would notice--which is to say, behaving less overtly than a human). all is to say that spock, as we see him, is hardly the model of a vulcan. and while i maintain that he owes this distinction more to culture, the expectations within his personal relationships, and his contemplations of his place in society as a mixed person than to biological factors, there is something to be said about how individuals that are fully vulcan are raised, and what implications their instructions about composure, dedication to logic, and rejection of emotion have on their relationships with their spouses, children, and other loved ones...

which is why i am positively enamoured with tuvok.

tuvok and spock are not comparable, nor do i think there is much to be gained by drawing up similarities/dissimilarities between them and haphazardly chalking up their differences to distinguishments of humans/vulcans, with traits spock has alone being seen as implicitly and necessarily human and traits tuvok possesses that spock lacks demonstrating his being fully vulcan. (in fact, tuvok himself may not be considered by many vulcans to be an impeccable representation of their beliefs about personal behavior anyhow, and as a child even questioned the vulcan elevation of logic as the guiding force of life, saying in “Gravity” (5x03) “I refused to deny myself passion, the way you and men like my father do... If I was meant to deny feelings, why was I born with them? Where's the logic in that?”) but i digress... the benefit in having such wonderfully rich, well developed characters such as them is in being able to analyze the tenets of vulcan philosophies and teachings that they provide us with, not to determine to what extent they themselves consistently followed them. that said, tuvok being fully vulcan changes his reception in vulcan society. he did not experience the same pressure spock did to ‘prove himself’ as a vulcan to both his family as well as others who were hesitant to accept a half-vulcan child, and this allows tuvok to serve as one illustration of a full vulcan child whose abilities to control his emotions and act logically are never doubted (though his behavior is occasionally called in to question)

but as you contemplate the nature of vulcan behavior, their methods of understanding the world, and how they educate their children, one particularly interesting aspect of their culture which arises is the consistent demonstration of long term committed relationships (in this context--specifically familial or spousal/sexual) which are unemotional.

in tuvok, these unemotional relationships which demonstrate his vulcan upbringing most clearly are between himself and his children. based off of his interactions with the crew of voyager and the individuals they meet on their journey home, we learn about how vulcan relationships function, what vital elements take the place of love, and what the definition of love is by reduction rather than explanation: with the dedication, longing, and attachment to his family that tuvok speaks of and demonstrates not being considered aspects of an emotional love

excerpts from Star Trek: Voyager, “Elogium” (2x04)

TUVOK: ... I must point out that, as illogical as it seems, being a father can have infinite rewards. Far more than would seem possible. My children occupy a significant portion of my thoughts. Now more than ever. NEELIX: I-I-I've heard it said that children can bring a lot of joy into one's life. TUVOK: I experienced neither joy nor sorrow, but I do believe it is possible. ... TUVOK: I have three sons and one daughter. I can assure you she benefits as much from my presence and guidance as my sons do. It is unfortunate that I must be so far removed from all of them now.

from this, it can be determined that: 1. tuvok thinks about his children. (this may seem obvious, but in actuality, it’s quite an... unproductive pursuit. stranded in the delta quadrant, years away from them, there is nothing to be gained from tuvok spending his time contemplating his children, and how they are faring so far away. if it is as he says to samantha wildman in “Once Upon a Time” (5x05), and he is confident in the wellness of his children given the company they are alongside, tuvok should be satisfied with his knowledge of their safety and accepting of his inability to change his position to be with them.

one of my personal favorite vulcan words is “kaiidth”, which translates approximately to ‘what is, is’ in federation standard. ("when one accepts what cannot be changed, one begins to think like a vulcan." - TOS novel: Dwellers in the Crucible). though i occasionally think this saying imparts too great a notion of passivity as a function of logic onto vulcans, i interpret this statement generally to be one which permits movement forward, but which does not erase wandering. in my mind, tuvok can both worry for his children (though such worry is illogical because he could not intervene in their lives to protect them if there were cause to worry) and he can resolutely and determinately perform his duties on voyager. perhaps isolating love and affection for his children (which he does feel, but does not experience regularly due to his repression of emotions and of their influence over him) from his worries about them allows for him to function adequately: grants him the ability to work as voyager’s security officer without encumberment from heartache and longing that the human members of the crew experience for the lives and people left behind in the alpha quadrant.

nonetheless, I persist in imagining thoughts of his children pervading tuvok’s mind even as he meditates. i imagine he wonders idly what they are doing at particular moments in time, what reflections asil has on the reading she’s been assigned at school, if sek searches through his memories of him as he navigates his own path as a father for the first time..)

this quote also demonstrates the position tuvok takes relative to his children, object 2 taken from this interaction being that some of the core values of vulcan parenting are presence, by tuvok explaining his regret that he cannot be with his family now and *guidance, by expressing his belief that his daughter would benefit from the wisdom and insight he could offer her were he present in her life (these two components existing in place of “mere” affectionate love).

*another note on guidance, an excerpt from a verse in “Falor’s Journey”, an epic story about a Vulcan merchant which tuvok’s youngest son would ask him to play for him on his lute, from Star Trek: Voyager, “Innocence” (2x22)

“He traveled through the windswept hills And crossed the barren Fire Plains To find the silent monks of Kir. Still unfulfilled, he journeyed home Told stories of the lessons learned And gained true wisdom by the giving.”

it becomes clear in the lyrics of this verse that wisdom is prized on vulcan, and though information (such as that which was communicated to Falor in Kir) can be relayed, processed, and internalized, the richness of experience and interaction with others is what contributes to enlightenment. this forms the basis of tuvok’s relationship with his children, and as a father he is characterized by his wish to provide counsel and direction to his children. guidance, thus, can be seen as one of the hallmarks of vulcan relationships as a principle which takes the place of what humans might see as constituting love (things such as affection or fondness)

an excerpt from Star Trek: Voyager, “Innocence” (2x22)

“ELANI: If Vulcans don't feel anything, does that mean you don't love them? TUVOK: My attachment to my children cannot be described as an emotion. They are part of my identity, and I am incomplete without them. ELANI: I bet they miss you too.”

these lines constitute some of my absolute favorite bit of communication delivered in all of star trek. this single statement raises countless questions about the nature of vulcan relatedness and connection (some literature suggests that vulcans feel significantly deeper than humans do, with this increased intensity being the reason for the vulcan reformation and movement toward logic as the dictating factor for behavior in place of emotion. tuvok saying that his attachment to his children cannot be described as an emotion suggests that a labeled emotion is too simple a term for his relationship with them, yes, but does it also imply that there is a greater emotional bond that binds them so closely together and so fervently that it surpasses what can be considered an emotion? what could something like this be described as? how could it be represented?) this statement brings in a discussion about familial bondings, with tuvok possibly feeling incomplete without his children because of their telepathic link to one another: the constant feeling of their presence in his own mind forming a feeling of familiarity and self. finally, and most pressingly, this statement indicates tuvok’s self identification through another, his identity as a guardian, parent, and caretaker to his children contributing to his own notion of self

excerpt from Star Trek: Voyager, “Caretaker” (1x01)

JANEWAY: I spoke to your family before I left. TUVOK: Are they well? JANEWAY: Well, but worried about you. TUVOK: That would not be an accurate perception, Captain. Vulcans do not worry. JANEWAY: They miss you. TUVOK: As I do them.

finally, tuvok identifies yearning as an integral component of vulcan relationships (though in my mind, I imagine this longing to be with his family as a less emotional appraisal of the term than may be expected... data’s explanation of friendship from Star Trek: The Next Generation, “Legacy” (4x06) “as I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs eventually are anticipated, and even missed when absent.” comes to mind...)

as I was talking about this with joe tonight, and wondering what possible motivation tuvok (and all other vulcans with similar familial connections like his) has to miss his family, to see himself as incomplete without them, and to worry about them if not for love, he said: “I read somewhere that when you mourn someone, you are actually mourning what they were to you: a source of comfort, an occasional friend, a companion in difficult situations, etc. ... if relationships are actually vaguely transactional like that, maybe that’s what love is, a type of relationship where you’re willing to give someone more and more just to continue to be around”, which was excellent and not something that i’d considered

are enduring vulcan relationships (like marriages/bondings) transactional? is a spouse another source of income, a companion with which to speak about the events of a day (another voice of reason to temper confusion with/someone to provide more context/another perspective on personal matters of choice to guide their partner to the most logical conclusion)? is it possible that their absence is felt only as the absence of an intellectual equal? the absence of someone raised with a similar background who possesses the experiences necessary to understand their spouse’s guiding principles, or someone of a different background capable of adding nuance and other points of consideration into ethical/moral/behavioral debates?

certainly transactional relationships could account for the statements made by tuvok in these examples. it is possible that he thinks of his children and that he considers himself incomplete without them because they are a part of his identity: it is possible that because their existence put him in the position of a teacher and a caregiver (providing for their educational, dietary, social needs), their absence deprives him of exercising a portion of himself reserved for their exclusive use, and that because he is a father to them, he is not one without them. but then... how can he worry for them if not by love? and if he does not worry for them by reason of love, what drives him to worry for them? that concern he speaks about, i think, cannot be transactional. he gains nothing by worrying for them, nor do they gain anything by worrying for him, and yet they persist in worrying.

despite all the intricacies shown and questions raised by tuvok’s relationship with his children, i think perhaps that the most complete and thorough illustration of the effect of vulcan cultural upbringing on formed relationships comes not from tuvok (whose discussions of connectedness in this context are limited to other vulcans who have been raised in the same disciplines that he himself grew up in) but from t’pol, in how she presents layers of reserve, objectivity, emotionalism, and subjectivity in relation to commander tucker.

despite both being full vulcans who have had all the privileges that label entails (being free from persecution/rejection from peers based on their heritage, unlike spock) the separation between tuvok and t’pol is immense, and lies (to me, most importantly,) in the relationships they form with their bondmate. tuvok’s relationship with t’pel is characterized by their mutual evenness, regard for each other, and complement. they have been married for 67 years by the events in “Caretaker” (1x01), and have raised four children together in that time. they are familiar with each other, well established presences in the lives of the other, and have at this time been exposed to, processed, and settled into their spaces in each other’s lives, understanding well how they work together to create a harmonious shared life. trip and t’pol... are a young, dumb mess.

trip and t’pol’s relationship owes about half of its instability to forces beyond their control (the inherent complications of establishing a relationship “in the workplace” and struggling to determine what types of behavior is appropriate between them, hostile alien species attacking their ship, having their genetic material stolen from them in a plot to bring prejudice and fear mongering to earth... just for starters) and the other half of its instability to their own internal conflicts (encompassing death of a family member, spiritual conflict, and the navigation of a cross-cultural, cross-species relationship). and yet despite the challenges they face, the dangers they’re put in, and their own missteps, they gravitate toward each other consistently, inconveniently, always.

but my favorite interaction of thiers, and the one which persists in my memory as one of the most characteristic (and most frustrating) illustration of their relationship is their shared scene at the conclusion of Star Trek: Enterprise, “Bound” (4x17).

because the pretense--all their numerous and pressing difficulties--splinter--in an instant--and fall away. it is the first time t’pol makes herself vulnerable, admits that she believes trip’s guidance is imperative to the success of their mission. it is the first time she swallows her pride and her feigned objectivity (concern for the good of the entire crew) and allows herself not to make a personal request--but to tell trip explicitly, and without reserve, that she would have him stay, if he would. that his presence is what she wants for herself (not his expertise on behalf of the crew). t’pol is speaking to trip for herself for the first time, their newly formed telepathic bond serving as an impetus for her expression: the feeling and image of trip in her own mind (and vice versa) contributing to an irrefutable knowledge both of their compatibility and of their perceptions of each other (through each other).

the previously identified components which contribute to vulcan relationships (as taken from tuvok) are presence, guidance, self identification through the other, and yearning, the most logical and explicable of these is guidance, a means of which to steer another toward logical behavior. presence, self identification through the other, and yearning, are, however, more inexplicable with tuvok having difficulty admitting in one instance that he does, in fact, miss his family, and in another finding it difficult to express in what manner/how he is “incomplete” without them: these being things which to him are so natural and forthcoming that they defy explanation, and are “beyond” emotional language.

t’pol, in bound, asks not for the more logical pillar of dedication. she does not ask trip to say because she feels she is in need of his guidance, but asks him to be present with her, because they are bound together, and because she has missed him.

this all culminates in an appraisal of love. if vulcans feel love, but choose not to experience it by repressing their emotions, i needed to understand how their relationships could function and persist in the absence of what i believed was such an integral component of relationships (though as I wrote this post, it occured to me that the definition of love i was working under became more nebulous, and increasingly difficult for me to define). i could not fathom, as i thought of all the vulcans i’d watched and read about, what bound them so indelibly to others. all of the logical forces i could think of--politics, financials, diplomacy, reproduction, and other mutual benefits--fell short, and there persisted something in the thrum of them--the vibration of that string that binds t’hyla together. after all, i began this investigation wondering “what is love if not attachment? longing? attention? and if these things are aspects of love that vulcans can exhibit, what is left that they object to?” what i found was a definition of love for vulcans which was not primarily characterized by affection, and which did not begin at that point, but which was founded upon recognition, acknowledgement, and behavior that seeks to maintain wellness, promote wisdom, and encourage reflection in another.

#trek #me: sets out to make a t'pol post #me: gets fucking lost in the sauce #i was listening to 'to the end' and 'tender' by blur in the shower and those are songs i so associate with trip/t'pol #and im trying to develop a 'framework' (i hate that word) to understanding the navigation of relationships like that without love at the #heart of it -- forgive the pun #captain's log #i remembered vulcan bonds at one point when i was first thinking abt this but im not even going to talk about them because that is a whole #other can of worms. do vulcan bonds exist to link two people and make them closer because they might not otherwise feel compelled to engage #with each other? is it something that was derived solely as an impetus for mating--to drive them together like pheromones/bird calls/other #biological phenomenon that contribute to increased diversity in a gene pool and which drive couples together?#or is it a manifestation of love (in the case of trip/t'pol)? the indication of a possible love developing eventually as determined by the #compatibility of their psionic wavelengths?#am i getting a little too entrenched in the technicalities of this concept here and dousing it a little heavily in 'bio major'? maybe!#anyway i am screaming and crying and i got super derailed talking abt tuvok i should have made that its own post cause then suddenly this #takes a left turn into enterprise ville where no one lives but ME #holy shit everyone this took me hours to write and its now 5 in the morning which is when i normally wake up to go bike riding #anyway im putting this in my tags for them bc i am fucking annoying rip #t'pol #trip tucker

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help-i-need-a-cool-username · 3 years

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Recently saw a tiktok that was like "if you ship [toph and zuko] than you have issues or you see something galaxy brained that i havent" and stumbled upon the concept of aroace Zuko and i concocted this idea ages ago so im posting it now: the epic Toph x Zuko Marriage of Convenience

Okay what you are all thinking of is book 3 Toph and Zuko, which totally dont have romantic chemistry and with the added age difference is prob why no one ever considers this ship. Four years when you're a teenager is a big difference. Four years when you're in your twenties and beyond isnt that big a deal. So they're adults and they've been friends for years at this point.

You also gotta sit back and look at what they are. Toph is the only child to a very rich and very well known Earth Kingdom family. Her family name in general is huge and carries a lot of weight but you also got her own accomplishments: Master Earthbender, the Creator of Metalbending, the Avatar's Earthbending teacher, and shes a war hero. Thats big. And then you got Zuko, who at this point is the Fire Lord. Zuko himself comes from a prominent Fire Nation family, seeing as he's royalty. He's also descended from a Avatar, but i dont think thats all that well known. Zuko is a Master Firebender, the Avatar's Firebending Teacher, and a war hero. On top of being famous both these people have credibility to fall back on.

So what im leaning into here is not exactly a marriage alliance seeing as the Earth Kingdom has its own royalty but its definitely a political move

Anyways Zuko has a lot on his plate, dismantling his dad's empire and all that. When he's nearing 30 the council is all like "you need to find a bride". Zuko writes up his ex-girlfriends and finds out they're either married or he just cant bring himself to trap someone into a marriage with him after knowing how it destroyed his mom. So he's stuck with no one of his own choosing so the council and high up nobles are trying to fix him up and not-so-subtly set him up with their daughters. Half of Team Avatar comes and visits (lets say Toph, Aang, and Sokka) and witness the behind the scenes of all this. They're having tea with Zuko and two people come in at different times and try to casually talk about the marriage thing. Toph can hear things that happen in the hallways too. Zuko is all "noooooooo guys why is this happening to me" and Sokka probably finds it funny but also a little sucky, and Aang probably hates it because "Zuko should marry for love!". And Toph is all "I know right" because she can totally relate. Her parents were looking for matches for her since she was born, and now that shes visiting again they've started back up again. Her and Zuko start swapping match-making stories ("so i come home and this boy and his father are there and my mom is all like 'Toph have you met __'" "I'm in the throne room for a meeting on road construction and this guy derails the whole thing so he can introduce his niece to me"). Later on after Toph has been listening in on the palace for a few days now and shes starting to really feel sorry for Zuko. Sokka just keeps making jokes until Toph snaps at him. Aang is pretty oblivious and probably spends all day at the market looking for souvenirs to bring home for Katara. And one night while Zuko is up late doing paperwork by candle light Toph stops by because her body cant sleep at night sometimes and they get to talking and Toph jokingly throws out "what if we just married each other? Then everyone will get off both our backs!" and they're laughing and after they've calmed down Zuko has a light bulb moment and he's like "wait, that might not be a bad idea". They spend all night working out the details to their hypothetical wedding and a day later decide to actually go through with it. Theres uproar from the council of course because Zuko didnt choose their pick Toph isnt Fire Nation nobility. And then Zuko starts listing all her family's importance and stuff and the council is forced to admit to themselves its not actually a bad idea. Plus marrying Earth Kingdom would make the Fire Lord more relatable to the colonies where theyre having a lot of problems with people of mixed heritage right now. Sokka and Aang hear rumblings of this because palace servants gossip and they're debating wether or not to believe these rumors when they run into Toph and just ask her and shes all like "yeah we're talking about it" and they boys flip out. Aang still maintains that everyone should marry for love but Toph and Zuko won't budge.

Over in the Earth Kingdom Toph's parents are ecstatic because the only better option Toph could marry was Earth Kingdom royalty. They completely endorse it and only argue to not seem like pushovers and when topics revolving money come up (ex. dowery). The Earth King gets in on this because its too good a opportunity to not capitalize on it. The Earth Kingdom is abuzz because a foreign King is marrying one of their own. Everyone is hyped and Team Avatar are the only ones who find the whole situation weird because to them its not a fairytale its their actual friends.

All-in-all they get married in the Fire Nation and the guest list was awful to make but people from all over the world are there. Toph's mother freaks out the whole time because "what if Toph falls down all those steps!" The wedding is mostly all Fire Nation tradition but Toph wears a Earth Kingdom wedding dress because everything is political now. Toph and Zuko have a relatively fun night and Sokka has the time of his life. And their marriage actually really works out for them because they're friends. They make fun of fancy people and rant to each other in the evenings. Toph is still running metal bending schools but either now they have to come to her or she gets stuck with a Fire Nation security team for like 3 months of the year she spends in the Earth Kingdom and she gets flashbacks to her childhood. And Zuko is sometimes all "i miss my wife" and the servants are all "awwww they're so in love" but the truth is he wants to talk sh*t with her and because shes blind he always has to write letters with the interpreter's opinion/gossip in mind. Toph still sneaks out all the time because shes not giving up her independence willy-nilly and is not above pulling the blind card to get out of things, which irritates Zuko sometimes because that means he has to deal with boring meetings by himself. They gaang visits all the time and by the time Republic City rolls around Toph manages to get herself sent as a "ambassador" (her and Sokka have some fun their shared meetings) and then to stay on to help set up the police force, which is a little dicy since shes representing the Fire Nation but also shes teaching only metalbending so its a controversial thing. This also gives Zuko a excuse to visit Republic City more often so he can see everyone since they settled down there.

#hinacu atla #atla #avatar #toph beifong #zuko #zuko x toph #prince zuko #fire lord zuko #avatar the last airbender

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gringolet · 3 years

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that italian?

okay okay okay i think it happened long enough ago that i can dish about the drama. she changed her url and im not including it anyway so its fine.

prepare for a fuckin. essay in responss to a TWO WORD ask but anyay

so once upon time there was an italian who hated children and loved reylo. she also hung out in the arthuriana tag and got a bunch of asks about it. so one day some poor anon comes in and asks if she has any trans headcanons for arthurian characters, and she, instead of being a normal person and saying like, no, she goes off about how trans characters in fanfic is forced representation and she cant talk about trans people bc surgery is triggering for her.

found this in the archives lol. so i rbd politely explaining that while it was fine to not have trans hcs, her justifications for it were a little offensive.

hey i dont want to start discourse or anything but i see ur asks in the tag a lot and i wanted to politely address this. firstly obviously no one is under any obligation to hc things, and headcanons and fandom is not activism. if you’d just said “no, not really” it would b fine. i mean, cringe of u, but fine. but u make a couple of points here i want to look at a bit critically. then there is “I don’t like when headcanons are pushed up as ~representation, especially when… Ehm, it’s just fandom stuff?” i dont want to misinterpret you or put words in your mouth, but the implication that theres no need for trans rep in fandom and dismissal of that is a very cis take. My initial read of your intention there was a complaint of ‘why should something like fandom spaces, which are for fun and not serious, be filled with non fun serious (bad) trans stuff that i have to see when im trying to enjoy myself.’ now that could be incorrect, you were a bit vague here. if that is what you meant, i think you maybe should examine why you feel that way. if it isnt, im unclear on what exactly youre trying to say here. the idea that trans hcs are performative wokeness and “representation” in fandom is completely ignoring the actual trans people making and wanting them. there is so vanishingly little representation of trans people in actual media and even less thats good, and i think implying trans hcs are being pushed on people and fandom for, ~representation (a world of meaning in the ~ i shant speculate on) is very dismissive and ignorant of that fact. honestly the main thing im troubled by is the idea that trans bodies are inherently disgusting and triggering, which is an incredibly harmful and hurtful idea, and since you yourself acknowledge that trans people and hcs dont predicate surgery i question why you bring it up, except as a justification for disconfort rooted in unexamined prejudice. im not accusing you of being a terf or anything, i dont believe you meant harm by this or have bad intentions, and im definitely not saying anyone has to hc anything. it was the uncomfronted insidiousness of your justification that concerned me. this is not a personal attack at all, you just have a lot of influence in this fandom space and i wanted to make you aware of some of the surely accidentally harmful things ur saying.

so she flips out and rbs that yelling at me and cursing me out in italian (she moved blogs so i dont have her whole response just bits)

basically she completely derailed the original topic and accused me of calling her a horrible person for her triggers? which i never did and would never do, and then tried to make it a wierd anti v proshipper thing

third: I never said there’s no need of trans hcs in fandoms, BUT I’ve noticed that there’s a tendency of condemning people on the basis of what they ship / the dynamics they write. ( like the infinite discourse about how ‘I ship only mlm enemies to lovers because f/m enemies to lovers are Inherently Bad and Abusive - something I personally heard on Twitter sigh ), so I feel the need to say it. blame the current fandom climate.

and were like wow, this lady is unhinged, so we look around her blog and find a. a lot of stuff like saying its racist to not like incest?? and that italians arent white?? also shes a swerf?? and kind of deniel italian colonialsm? and reblogs from a bunch of out and out terfs} there was more but this isnt a callout post lol.

valentine lanzelet made a post about this crazy italian we found and she flipped out on him (this is one of several cursey italian tag rants)

roughly means: GO SHIT YOURSELF (italian alternative to go fuck you), RACIST TERF IS YOUR GRANDMOTHER IN A WHEELBARROW (italian saying which does not translate well) AND WHAT HAS ITALIAN COLONIALISM TO DO WITH THIS YOU UGLY SHIT, and anyways lancelot sucks

(translated by claudio beheaded)

anyway so then. and this is when it gets unhinged. she goes on this server me and a lot of my mutuals n friends r in, camelot, and starts complaining about me.

(in red is the server admin, who was lovely) i asked her to move this convo to dms if she must bc it was rude to bring drama into the server, and she refused, and started insisting that she was being bullied and just wanted to be left alone, so i was like okay lets all block each other and move on, and she refused, continuing to defend everything she was being criticized for

they also said claudio was making them look bad by translating their rants which like... queen if that made them look bad they were already a bad look.

so she keeps pinging people and replying to shit despite everyone else at this point begging her to just drop it and call it a stalemate

imagine this but around n around for like an hour. also she repeatedly got me and valentine confused it was super funny. also she claimed it was an invasion of her privacy for valentine to go on her public blog and look at the things she openly said and rbd there

so the server got put in slow mode and she KEPT GOING even though everyone was just begging her to stop and not even responding

as u can see, around this point we just started spamming her with emoji reactions. she announced she was leaving then went back to arguing a full three times before finally dipping from the server

then she continued complaining about us and calling us puriteens in her tags (trying to make it a proshipper v anti thing i guess lol?)

for literally months before finally remaking. also in that time she got in an argument about how the crusades were fine actually. italianphobia works hard but she works harder i guess

anyway i prolly left out a lot but thats the italian saga

#cw discourse #i guess?#conflict anyway #if any involved have funny things to add go ahead

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brandnewcitymp3 · 2 years

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ok i Finally mustered up the energy to sit down for three (3) hours to watch fingersmith and. ough. not rly a review? but spoilers down below

aaaa THIS is what i mean by Yearning. THIS is the kinda shit i Want and that i Wish the handmaiden had. like dont get me wrong the handmaiden is still way better. but like. augh. how the relationship between maud and sue just Builds. So. Slowly.........obsessed. was going insane. it rly helped tho bc it Actually established how much time had passed. and that was my issue with the handmaiden bc it seemed like it just went v quickly (and at first i thought it was just me craving a slow burn and also having rewatched this movie so many times it just feels like it zooms by but after watching fingersmith yea no it is p fast. but to be fair: the handmaiden is tryna explain a Lot and has Less time to do it. fingersmith is a whole whopping 3 hours. 180min. they have the time hfsjkl (wait now that im thinkin abt it the handmaiden is literally like 2.5hrs?? so fingersmith only got like an extra 30-40min or so on them?? AND THAT SHIT WAS STILL VERY SLOW BC THEY HAD TO DO THE WHOLE ASS PLOT TWIST THAT MAUD AND SUE BEING SWITCHED AT BIRTH AND SHIT LIKE FHSDJKL I DONT CAREEEFJDLS like i read abt it before so i saw it coming but im just.......who cares hfsdjkl. BUT YEA basically fingersmith was able to successfully execute the slow burn in 1.5hrs and the handmaiden COULDVE done that too BUT im goin back to my argument that they spent Way Too much time on the uncle and the count hfdjkls. like i get it. narrative. it’s good. but. i wanna see my girls bc this story is abt them hfsdjkl. AND THAT’S ALSO THE THING TOO with fingersmith SO LITTLE TIME is spent on the shpeel between the gentlemen and the uncle (like that Whole ending part of the handmaiden where the uncle catches the count and tortures him? yea. literally non existent in fingersmith. gentlemen gets stabbed by maud or something and the uncle just dies some time later of something ig idk fhsjkl it’s all just so brief and i appreciate that tbh fdjskl) but yea they rly dont spend a whole lotta time on the uncle at all. like to a point where i would genuinely forget that this whole deal is to scam him like fhdjkls the gentleman was there fairly a lot bc yea makes sense. i just didnt like him fhdjklls like he deserved to get stabbed and die pathetically hfdjkls anyway)) im derailing and i lost the point with my parantheses hfjdlk but yea!!! Time. fingersmith did it better. like one Very Specific honestly the Perfect example of this is the thimble scene. that scene happens a Literal month after sue and maud first meet. so sue has Been playing as her maid for a whole month. so these two have Been spending time with each other and getting to know each other and getting along and having fun with each other for a Whole Month. their feelings for each other are festering and they are starting to realize it. screaming. the scene was so brief like Way quicker than the one in the handmaiden which lingers for a while and i honestly rly liked it is So Intimate and theyre looking in each others eyes and and they quickly pull away before it lingers on for too long bc they are still trying to understand the feelings they both have. EVEN THO THEYRE BOTH SCAMMING EACH OTHERRRR AUGHH. poetic cinema. idk yea this is getting long now hfdjkl but yea. O YEA ONE MORE THING. handmaiden characters were way better. like duh we been knew. that shouldnt be surprising dhfjka but yea. bc maud and sue were so hesitant before going thru with the plan bc they felt so guilty abt scamming the other like this. meanwhile sookee sweetened the pot for herself and was like “o wee lamb. how sad. oh well” and hideko was the one who even suggested scamming her in the first place!!!!!! cunty!!!!!! also the wedding night scene was inch resting too. specifically with the blood bc i was obsessed how hideko just sliced her own hand while lookin the count dead in the eyes while he looked lowkey shocked. but with fingersmith it was the gentlmen so cut his own arm for it so. lame. like maud was gonna do it too!! but he just did instead. whatever. maud Literally had sex with sue right before that anyway so yknow. king shit. anyway yea i think im done now hfjkdls if u actually read all this ty i love u and i hope u had a lovely day c:

#i typed way more than i was expecting hfdjkls #idk why im shocked abt this too like ofc im gonna have thoughts abt this??hfsdk #i literally rewatched the handmaiden too right after finishing fingersmith!!#it was just that type of day for me :) hehe #anway. bye. mwah #txt

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parismemes · 4 years

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OUT OF CONTEXT THINGS IVE SAID THIS MONTH IN THE DISCORD SERVER AS SENTENCE STARTERS

“very funny because of how incorrect this is.” “can my emotions just be NORMAL FOR TWO SECONDS” “im fine im laughing at a cone in a pool” “wow! that frightens me.” “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” “IM FUCKING. F I N I S H E D” “i know i was like on the edge of my metaphorical seat” “its not the same if we dont all enjoy it/suffer together” “now. i dont mean to suggest something is wrong here.” “also i will almost definitely not pay attention to anything, which is bad” “im also aware i didnt actually make a point. it stands” “anyway i actually got distracted from my original plan when i saw the big hand” “im gonna say it. miguel deserved to stay in el dorado” “uh oh, ive awoken the bastard” “they havent shut the fuck up about the onceler from the lorax since i started talking to them again” “disney on ice doesn't even really show nips they just give shirtless characters body suits and spray paint nips onto them” “yeah but youd hold me at gunpoint for fun” “i said 'i think we need to overthrow the government' and they went ‘YES! we were JUST TALKING about how that needs to happen the other day-’” “you think im just being a little crazy right now but the truth is this is the real me :'(” “dont you want to be loved. to be home. to have worm” “i think i want to eat worms just for the experiencce now” “at least this way he doesnt have to know his dad is a terrorist” “imagine almost running into someone on the street and they immediately give you their entire life story” “i WISH i didnt have any examples :(” “i WILL win this dick measuring contest or die trying” “last week i was too afraid to get up and ask for ketchup during my mom's birthday lunch but literally the day after that i told someone on the street to eat their ass and choke on it for reasons related to current events” “by nature the waters are not wet however the bottles that contain the water ARE :)” “ok nvm i drew something i liked. breakdown over” “when we got safe baking soda today i almost accidentally put a whole ass tablespoon in when it called for like half a teaspoon” “anyway ive never watched ATLA but ive taken THREE atla quizzes” “yea alright as if i didnt cry yesterday afternoon because i had to honk at another car in a parking lot” “lets test this theory i also have a clown what if we give him two clowns for the price of one” “since you're normal you probably have no actual insight into the relationship between mark twain and his wife” “IT WAS MY TURN TO GET CALLED OUT” “boys back boys back” “WHO LET HIM PUT A THREE YEAR OLD IN THE WASHING MACHINE” “i was very scared that i just wasnt understanding for a second. i doubted my grasp of the english language.” “AM I HAVING A STROKE?” “im queen of unsafe work practices” “th’lore. ax. th’lore ax. the lorAX” “i have a job now how much to buy your silence” “can you maybe not type ever again so i can say something first for once” “anyway i have to derail”

#rp meme #rp memes #ask meme #ask memes #sentence starters #source: me bitch

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wishiwasntstillhere · 3 years

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and when the world is crashing down on you, will you give me a call?

Kyouya makes a different decision, and does not end up threatening someone he cares about.

Kyouya-centric for his birthday!! Episode 8 fixit fic, no ships but also im clearly in love with all three of them so :) also on ao3!

Haruhi bursts into his room and goes straight for the bathroom, never even seeing him. Heaving noises ensue from within. He winces. Too much crab, then. He lays the towel down, grabbing his glasses so he can stand, but-

Should he go check on her?

For the hundredth time, the waves crash against that jagged rock and Haruhi plunges silent into dark water. He blinks it away.

Instead, he sits, toweling his hair, and wonders at her. Will she be awkward once she realizes he’s just finished showering? Hmm. Probably not. Oblivious or indifferent, Kyouya can never tell which, but Haruhi never seems flustered by that kind of thing.

That thought should be intriguing, but today there's only a churning in his gut.

“All done?” Kyouya asks, once his bathroom door opens again. He doesn't look up.

“I’m sorry for intruding into the room of a stranger-"

“How rude. It’s me.”

"Kyouya-senpai? Oh. I’m sorry, I seem to have gotten everyone worried about me.”

He refuses to let it play again. Yet in crashes the sea, the fall, the silence of that terror. He just can't shake it.

And so, the Shadow King must act.

Kyouya glances past her to the lightswitch and draws up the words he needs.

“I wasn’t particularly worried.” He stands, then drinks out of his water bottle. Cool, casual. That’s the key to this ruse.

He lays out the bait, recounting Hikaru and Kaoru’s scuffle with her attackers. Pinning his focus on his destination across the room, he spins some nonsense about bouquets and apologies to the girls. Kyouya doesn’t look at her once, even as he positions himself for the catch. In a way, it’s hosting. A careful dance made to look careless, subtly guiding her to the right outcome.

“I’ll pay for those flowers myself,” Haruhi promises, of course.

And his timing is precise. In the exact moment he lays out her six-figure mistake, he flips the lights off, and finally, Kyouya can turn to face her.

Something about the ruffles on her dress sends cold water splashing frantic up his insides. He takes another breath. He reaches down, drawing up the calculated cruelty he needs. He doesn’t like playing the bad guy, but he is best equipped for it. And someone has to.

“Why did you turn the lights off?”

She’s stepped in the snare, the cold teeth of the trap must snap shut around her now. Now, or she’ll never see the danger as it should be.

But his eyes catch on her face, blurry in the dark but watching, open, patient—and the teeth don’t move. He doesn’t move.

“Senpai?”

She fidgets, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. Surely she senses the strangeness in the air.

“Senpai, you’re starting to worry me,” she starts cautiously.

Is he? Is he finally? He can hardly breathe, only he knows this isn’t enough. He grasps for his plan, the words that will make things right-

“Senpai, I’m sorry about the expense. Please don’t worry about it, I really will pay it off,” she tries, and he knows that she really means it. She gives him a look, gentler than a smile, something surreal and infuriatingly comforting in her very Haruhi way, and he chokes.

“Why didn’t you call for help, Haruhi?” he asks, relieved that his voice comes out so indifferent.

Haruhi sighs. “So you were worried.”

A Kyouya with the lights on would fill this space with words, flooding it with hurtful meaningless things. As a member of the host club, you are but an asset to me at best, commoner. Don’t presume your own importance. You are obligated to stay out of trouble until your debt is paid, at least.

There are yet other things he could have said in light, things that would have been kinder, truer, and yet just as deceptive. You scared Tamaki. You drove the twins to violence for you. Don't you see how they worry for you?

But they’re in the dark, and Haruhi’s not dumb, and his hand is already shown. Kyouya has an infinite capacity for unkindnesses––but for once, he’s willing to admit that he doesn’t want to go through with this plan.

“Why didn’t you?” he repeats.

She cocks her head, answering frankly. “It didn’t occur to me.”

And the cold inside him wails.

He clenches his jaw to keep from shouting at her, how completely unhelpful that would be. But still more iron leaches into his tone than intended.

“And just why didn’t it occur to you?”

Haruhi’s chin jerks, eyes sparking. Oh, no.

“Well, those guys weren’t listening, so I didn’t have time to worry about how my gender would impact things. I had to act.”

She’s not listening, and the water is growing more agitated. Careless. Disrespectful. She should be afraid, and he can make her fear him.

Stomach lurching, he holds that thought in place. No. He doesn’t want to hurt her. He doesn’t want her to fear him.

This isn’t about Kyouya. It’s about Haruhi, and her safety.

How can he make her understand? How can he understand?

“I don’t disagree that something had to be done,” he starts. “Those girls were in real, immediate danger, and your intervention allowed Kurakano-kun to get the rest of the club to help. And Tamaki was being unreasonable by making the issue about your gender.”

Even this much is exhausting, so he sits down on the floor.

When she follows suit, her shoulders have settled a little from their taut hunch. Progress. He searches the dark and blurry bedroom for the next right words. But Haruhi finds them first.

“I know that rushing in to fight those guys was reckless,” she murmurs. “But the girls were scared. If I didn’t act, right away, they were going to be hurt.”

Kyouya pauses. She won’t like his next question. But he holds her gaze, intending to understand.

“Had you considered that you could get hurt, by intervening?”

Haruhi frowns. “After I hit the one, I knew they would focus on me. That was sort of the point, to get him to let go of Momoka-chan. But…” Her tone shifts into something more contemplative now. “I suppose I didn’t guard myself well, but how were my actions any different from Tamaki-senpai’s? He dove straight off the cliff to get to me, wasn’t that just as dangerous?”

She does have a point there. However good a swimmer he is, Tamaki had dived off the cliff without even looking. And yet...

True, Tamaki rushes into many reckless things to help others, but it’s never quite filled Kyouya with the same cold dread as Haruhi’s tumble off the cliff. And Tamaki has taken many a tumble. Kyouya would know, after all.

Ah.

“Haruhi, if you were robbed in a foreign country and you didn’t speak the language and you had nothing on you but your cellphone and 1000 yen, what would you do?”

She startles. “Huh? I would… search for the embassy, I guess?”

“And if you had no idea where the embassy was?”

“I would... try to find a map?”

Hmm.

“And if you got locked out of your home at 3 AM in the morning?”

“Senpai, what is this about?” Her confusion has shifted into mild irritation.

“Humor me,” he says, unsmiling.

She throws her hands up in resignation. “I would… wait until my dad got home.”

“And if he was on a business trip? Or if it was storming?”

“I would break in somehow.”

“And if someone at school was stealing your books and writing slurs on your desk?”

Rolling her eyes, she sighs out, “I would let the teacher know I needed new books, and clean off my desk before school. Senpai, this isn’t very funny.”

There’s a knock at his door. “Kyouya?” And it opens. “Do you have any lotion? This sunburn is worse than I-”

Tamaki freezes in the doorway. Kyouya can’t see the look on his face, but he hardly needs to, with the perfect replica hissing steam in his mind. He has approximately three seconds to derail this explosion. Luckily, he has just the thing to reroute the wildly careening train that is Tamaki’s mind.

“What are you-”

“Tamaki, after you got scammed and you were stranded on your own in Taiwan, what did you do?”

Tamaki blinks, recalibrating.

“Uh, I think I went to the embassy?”

“And how did you get to the embassy?”

“Hmm... Oh! I called you to ask for directions.” Walking over, he drops down to sit with them. His eyebrows are pinched––he wants to ask why, but still he lets Kyouya lead on.

“Yes. In the middle of an investor meeting,” he adds to a perplexed Haruhi. “And what about that time when you tried to climb from your window to the roof and fell out of your bedroom, when you were too embarrassed to call for a maid to come unlock your own house at 3 AM?”

“I… called you and stayed over at your place.”

Haruhi makes a face at that, which is fair. Nonetheless.

This last one is a little more delicate. He softens his voice, and inclines his head toward Haruhi by way of explanation. “And when you were bullied by our xenophobic peers in middle school?”

“Ah,” Tamaki says, realization smoothing his brow. “I told you about it. And you blackmailed them within an inch of their lives, of course.” He grins at the memory, at Kyouya. It’s easy to smirk back, warm and wicked in equal measure. That plan he has no regrets about.

Haruhi looks back and forth between them. He knows she’s still turning it over in her own mind. She is certainly smart enough to get it herself. But Kyouya decides anyway to take a page out of her book and be blunt, lest a mistranslation lead to regret later.

“The difference,” he explains, “is that whenever Tamaki is in trouble, he calls.”

They sit in silence for a while, Haruhi with her face downturned, Kyouya watching, patient. Considering both of them with his own discerning gaze, Tamaki settles, too.

“I’m just not like that, though,” Haruhi concludes, at last. Her voice is a touch wistful.

Tamaki is very, very gentle with his next words, Kyouya notices. “You grew up pretty lonely, didn’t you, Haruhi? You had to deal with a lot on your own.”

She shrugs, though all three know it’s true. And then all at once, they’re thinking of mothers and childhoods lost, and the melancholy sets in heavily over them.

“You know, Kyouya grew up much the same,” he says.

Haruhi turns to look at a bewildered Kyouya, who pushes up his glasses on reflex. But Tamaki smiles, continuing.

“Yes, he’s someone I can always depend on. But he’s not very good at asking for help, either.”

Kyouya glowers at the sheer audacity, only to startle as they both look at him with eyes far too affectionate. He shifts in place and looks down instead.

“But he has the whole Host Club looking out for him. So that even though sometimes, he doesn’t ask out loud, we can see it. And we’ll help.”

Here’s a pause. Tamaki swallows, leans forward, and bows.

“Haruhi, I’m sorry I yelled. I was angry because I was scared. That was my own fault, and you have every right to be upset.”

She rocks a little in her seat. “I’m sorry, as well. I don’t want to worry you guys.”

An absurd feeling grows in Kyouya’s chest. Half mirth, half despair.

Because he realizes: he doesn’t want her to be sorry at all anymore. She shouldn’t have to be sorry, she did nothing wrong . She acted to help, because it was more important to her than any consequence.

And now it’s clear: Haruhi has somehow become someone he truly cares about. Like Tamaki. Haruhi is something precious. Completely an agent of her own, and so trusting, and so kind. She’s earnest. She’s inherently good. He just wants her to be safe.

And he will never have any control over that.

The hysteria swells, threatening the structural integrity of his ribcage. All of the understanding he’s earned still won’t stop the fear that’s been crashing through him this whole night. He chokes down the laughter bubbling up and in his sheer desperation, looks at Tamaki.

It takes only one moment for Tamaki to read Kyouya’s distress, and in the next, he’s grabbing his hand, squeezing tight. And then he extends one to Haruhi.

“Haruhi, you don’t ever have to face things alone again. Will you let us be there for you?”

Kyouya has no control over how hard he squeezes Tamaki’s hand as they wait. He watches Haruhi’s own hands curl on her lap.

"I won’t be very good at it.”

"We aren’t either,” he says. She huffs. “It’s about the trying. Together .”

When she looks up, he's ready. Her eyes are searching, so he makes sure his own gaze is steadfast. He almost missed ever having this opportunity, he's fully aware. He won't let her down again.

“Okay,” she whispers. And takes Tamaki’s hand.

Relief blooms tangibly in the air. Haruhi’s eyes crinkle at Tamaki's relieved laugh. She opens her mouth to say something else, and-

Thunder shatters the room. Haruhi squeaks, yanking on his hand and hunching.

“Haruhi?” Tamaki leans forward, but-

Lightning strikes again, closer this time, and Kyouya feels the thunder slam into his eardrums. Haruhi yelps, trembling violently. She looks around the room, spots his dresser, and stands.

“Sorry! I- I uh- have to go now!”

“Don’t hide in the dresser,” Kyouya says, then feels foolish. Where had that thought come from? Why would she-?

But then she actually starts climbing into his dresser, and he and Tamaki have to hold the doors open.

“What- why would-? Haruhi, are you afraid of thunder?”

“It’s fine, I’ll be fine, this is how I always get through it,” she stammers, curling up inside.

“Not anymore,” says Tamaki, fiercely, and pulls her out into a hug.

“We have an American-style basement. It should be soundproof there, and there won’t be any flashing. Let’s head down now,” Kyouya decides. She’s trembling, clutching hard at Tamaki.

“I can’t- I’m not going to make it.”

“Close your eyes and cover your ears. We’ll get you there safe,” promises the Host Club prince, holding her even tighter.

“Okay,” she whispers.

Somehow they make it, the three of them hobbling to the basement. And somehow, the others find them, and they play games and music until they're almost all asleep on the various couches.

Kyouya’s turned off the lights and is just throwing a blanket over the twins when he hears her.

He’d thought she was asleep when he’d passed to drape a blanket over her on her own couch. Maybe she’s sleep talking, or maybe she woke up again. Either way, he stills, hoping she won’t spot him.

“You guys are even nicer than I thought,” she murmurs to the dark room. “Thank you, Kyouya-senpai.”

Despite himself, he smiles.

#kyouya ootori #kyoya ootori #haruhi fujioka #tamaki suoh #ouran #ohshc #fixit fic #episode 8 fixit #ouran au anybody #the bisexual in me rly came out writing this #man episode 8 screws up haruhi AND kyouyas characterization im just so glad fanfiction exists :)#lai is out here

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violexides · 3 years

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FFS I ACCIDENTALLY UNFOLLOWED YOU TRYING TO SEND AN ASK I HATE IT HERE </3333 ANYWAY the same thing happens with me too lol when I stay over at people's houses I always startle them because I'm so quiet people forget I'm there

I WAS A LITTLE CONFUSED BY THAT BUT I KIND OF DID A SHRUG AND WAS LIKE hey if holly somehow wasn't following me that would make them liking literally every post i put out even more impressive so

YEAH I KIND OF DO THE SAME! they know im here now because i came out to say that i was doing a phone call (that i ended up crying on so i really hope they just did not hear that lol) but yeah!!! i do be hoping that the person coming over leaves at some point because like know im here or not this is the second time someone is at our dorm taht does not need to be and im not aboutta get caught. this got derailed. can you tell that im in a weird state right now. if so, no you can't, anyway bye

#ask

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normal-thoughts-official · 4 years

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more malec livewatch, everyone! i decided to start making the posts separately instead of keeping reblogging the same one over and over because i don’t want to drive everyone crazy with that gigantic fucking post. you can read the first ones here and i’ll keep updating the posts to lead to the next ones i guess. also im tagging it malec livewatch for those who want to avoid this nonsense

so let’s brave pre-wedding episode 12 i guess

oh boy.... we’re gonna do it... we’re gonna experience the Maximum Cringe

the special effects are so BAD odaijsdoaj when he summons the wine into Alec’s hand it’s just...... god

“we never finished our conversation” i mean you were the one who finished it magnus so wtf are you going on about

“it’s about family, tradition, honor” yeah we get it zuko boi duoahsiudhdiusa

really tho like he’s so clearly just.... reciting it. taking some shit out off the top of his head about how it’s the right thing and it’s sad tbh

he clearly kinda already has a script too? like “you and I understand marriage very differently” he says it right off the bat, he’s been thinking it over and hghgghgh

magnus goes near alec and alec swallows immediately and magnus ain’t even making a move to touch him yet. just diuahsdah it’s so obvious how hard he’s trying to hold back here

“you’re confusing me” is like the only thing he says the whole scene that sounds genuine

he’s paying so much attention to magnus’ dumb little speech about what love feels like too like. he’s trying to hold back but he’s very clearly pulled in, and i don’t even think it’s by magnus specifically (i mean obviously cuz have you seen him) but because he... kind of wants to hear it, kind of wants magnus to give him some golden argument that will make his whole resolution shatter. except he doesn’t because he doesn’t know what he’ll do then, but he’s still hoping for something and it’s sad

like how magnus clearly pauses like he’s waiting for alec’s reaction too, like. alec makes to leave and magnus doesn’t go after him, but he speaks, and alec stops. only when alec stops he gets closer. only when alec looks at him, clearly waiting to hear more, does he begin to talk again. i dig that even if most of this scene is kinda ugh to me

i hate how he uses his magic tho like what’s the point?? like yes i know that magic “can’t create feelings” but still dauhdsa it kinds feels like he’s cheating or trying to manipulate alec or something and i’m.. not into how the whole thing is done

oof hate how alec says “this is all just a game to you, isn’t it?” like bitch you know damn well it’s not like he’s putting himself at risk and showing you so much vulnerability and i hate how he goes for the whole “oh magnus doesn’t care about anything he’s just a seductive lothario” narrative in here lowkey. like i know he’s just trying to distance himself and he doesn’t fully believe it but... aaaaa i hate it

and he’s so HURT by alec’s words too like the rejection doesn’t hurt him as much as hearing alec say that he just flirts and it means nothing to him does. he’s trying so fucking hard to be open and honest and taking such a RISK (psychological, emotional, even physical) and alec is just throwing all of that bullshit persona he’s actively trying not to hide behind in his face, belittling all his efforts and feelings, and aaa

like again i don’t really blame alec but he truly is so hurt

still wonder what alec was about to say when he turned around to talk to him and magnus wasn’t there anymore tbh like. probably something else to try and distance himself so it’s probably good magnus left and isn’t there to hear it and it kind of forces alec to really think it over to himself instead of trying to argue but...... i do wonder what he was going to say diahsiduahdisah

magnus doesn’t even answer the whole “this means nothing to you” veiled accusation which.... also hurts like idk if he’s trying to avoid a fight or derailing like alec clearly is trying to, or if he just is too tired to have this argument, or if he just doesn’t want to open up this much, but either way he doesn’t acknowledge it except for his hurt look and oof

no one cares about jace and clary talking or whatever’s happening here next

i had never noticed the way magnus winks at clary when he says “oh, it’s happy hour somewhere, my dear” daishdaiuh it’s kinda cute tbh

hodge is so uncomfortable like the way he talks to magnus and gets too close to him... in a way that he doesn’t with anyone else either like he’s clearly just lowkey despising him/getting into his space and magnus notices too and it gives me the heebie jeebies

diuhaiudsahduaishdai magnus’ IMMEDIATE reaction of “why is ragnor fell there, he’s not more powerful than me” asohdaiudha we stan bickering bffs i truly love them so much

“he’s older than you” “certainly not wiser” daiohsahda

i think he might also be lowkey trying to protect ragnor and take the clave’s attention away from him now that i think about it but still i love their bickering

nah that’s cancelled he immediately rats him out on having been jocelyn’s profesor lmaoo

“that’s why he hasn’t been responding to my fire messages” daoihdsaiohads someone needs to lick their wounds

he’s just like “oh ragnor is hiding in his specific safehouse outside of london” like daoiusduaihdasuda love how he just knows that off the top of his head when ragnor clearly didn’t actually tell him about it since he just fucked off and hasn’t been responding

“didn’t know you were here” “that was the point” doaiuhdasiouhdaiuhdas

like i know he’s talking about the marriage but also.... just mood in general tbh

again with the eye flickering. hes looking at magnus, no hes not, yeah he is, haha SIKE, oh there it is again, nope it’s gone..... kinda funny cuz like i know that alec’s eyes flicker a lot in general but afterwards when they are together every time he looks at magnus it’s just so pointed and intense and focused on him so the contrast of watching the s1 scenes and realizing how little his glances at magnus always lasted is... interesting and heartbreaking. like obviously he doesn’t want to be looking at any man for too long, doesn’t want to take that risk, keeps hyper aware of his attraction at all times, but he still can’t help the glances and then when he can look he just does it so unapologetically and intensely and you can tell that it’s just. intimate to him (to both of them really) right then, and wow

i know we talk a lot about alec’s Big Hands but magnus’ hands are so nice too in like a totally different way... anytime he holds anything it just looks like he’s treating it like it’s precious, it’s so delicate and careful and his hands are smooth and pretty and wow i love him so fucking much

wow can’t believe nothing heartbreaking at all happens when they go to ragnor’s house and that ragnor just winks at magnus like “haha yes i am ‘dead’” and magnus is like “yes, this is a lie and a ruse and also a plan. i am perfectly aware that ragnor is not dead at all”

ragnor says “my dear friend, i will always be here for you” with so much honesty and love and ugh i love them like they’re always little bitches to each other but they still have the room to be perfectly loving and honest with each other and i stan

ragnor looks at magnus with so much fucking hurt when magnus says “i prayed she would love me the same” like you can tell it destroys him to even remember it or think about it and aaa

“he was always so much better looking than you” and the way magnus purses his lips in what is clearly a smile like he just knows it’s the teasing and he loves ragnor and their dynamic and i just daouhdsauida also he’s so beautiful boy i die

the way ragnor says “someday, someone will come and will tear down those walls you put around you and around your heart” and magnus looks at him with so much. fucking PAIN in his eyes because someone did but it got nowhere and in the end alec just kind of acknowledged his walls again and went back to pretending that it never happened and that magnus didn’t progress or open up to it at all, that magnus was just lying, that it’s just a game and dauhdaiudha god he’s so HURT

again i owe harry shum jr my entire life like he might be seriously the best actor i’ve ever seen in any show, he’s so damn expressive and talented in every little motion he’s truly a pearl in the desert of shit that is this show

“even in death, you give the best advice” ugh love how this really cements that magnus is used to opening up to ragnor and even with their bickering there’s so much room for them to be emotionally honest like we stan

anyway sure wish this had any emotional continuity whatsoever but at least the cringefest is over. onto an actual good scene fucking finally

love every little detail about this scene as yall probably already know so i’ll try not to point every single one of them out yet again but who knows if i’ll succeed. i bet that i won’t tbh

love the contrast between alec looking so tense when lydia comes down the aisle and she’s like all smiles and shit

she’s before him and he can barely look at her like his eyes flicker a bit between her and the bouquet and he settles on the bouquet this whole thing is so... wrong so clearly, like i could show it to someone who doesn’t know shit about sh and they would be able to tell that nothing fits

even alec’s clothes are weird, like idk i don’t understand fashion but his look looks so disjointed, like the blazer doesn’t really match the pants, the bowtie looks weird and doesn’t match the buttons, and shit and nothing about him looks like it’s in the right place. and everyone else (except maybe izzy who also looks miserable lmao) looks like a perfect picture and he’s just.... idk there’s this aura of wrongness around him that’s subtle but really well done in the terms of costume and shit. the costume department really went off in this whole scene honestly like we stan. possibly the only ones other than the actors who knew what the fuck they were doing lmao

when lydia smiles at izzy and izzy barely moves up the corner of one of her lips dajdasnjdan she looks even more miserable than alec does and god i love the lightwood siblings so much like i truly do. she’s supporting him because she’s decided she’s not going to keep pushing him when it only leads to him not trusting her but she’s all broken that he’s broken, and she was willing to take his place and throw her life away even when that’s everything she’s always tried to avoid, just so he wouldn’t have to do this, and aaaaa

who cares about jace and clary looking at each other @directing team like seriously get over this

he turns in the direction of the silent brother in an almost kind of jerking motion like he completely forgot about where he was supposed to go or something, like again he’s just... not in it

they are holding hands in the WEIRDEST possible way too like there’s so much distance between them it’s almost funny ldaojsja

he tries to smile at lydia when she’s about to put the rune on his arm like he knows she knows that he’s hating this and he’s just bearing it and trying to not make her uncomfortable? like doajdsaoj

the way that magnus INTERRUPTS not just the wedding but also the chorus, you could tell there was a crescendo coming even if you’ve never heard the song, but magnus pushes the doors open and suddenly it stops and there’s this little bit and then the “tututututu” of tension as he comes into view and his steps perfectly match the three little beats that were already there before, but sound so much louder and more prominent like a heartbeat, like before they were muffled and now they’re real??? the poetic cinema bro

ill just never get over the way they used song here it sounds like an AMV like the song isn’t just giving the vibe, they are telling the story THROUGH the song and the whole scene is basically a coreography, and the song is the narrative, and holy shit i love it so much could you imagine if they had used this amount of thought and genius and clever storytelling the whole show?? i’d shit myself

ugh the DRAMA of magnus’ look again i KNOW i’ve been over this again and again and again and again and again and again but i just. i love how they used his makeup & costume to accentuate magnus’ 1- face, 2- eyes, 3- jaw, and 4- adam’s apple. the whole focus is on his face and eyes (which again so expressive we stan harry shum jr in this house), the fact that his eyes are his WARLOCK MARK (yeah they’re not out but like we’re still drawing attention to the part of magnus he tries to hide the most, and the part of him that marks what makes him disdainful to shadowhunters), the fact that his jaw and adam’s apple are so prominent. his whole face looks really sharp and masculine you know?? like the whole focus is on everything about him that’s supposed to be “wrong” and make malec “wrong” but he’s never looked more beautiful (IT’S SUCH AN UNDERRATED LOOK) and they didn’t sacrifice his gnc-ness for it either, on the contrary, they gave his hair the hot pink streak which. INSPIRED WE STAN, and the makeup is very clear (again esp around his eyes) which of course only adds to it because he’s not just a man, he’s a gnc man and that makes it “worse”, but also like, i like how they accentuated his masculinity in alec’s coming out scene, without sacrificing his identity and gender non conformness. again the costume department is the only one who genuinely knew what they were doing 100% of the time i hope they all got big fucking checks

alec just blinks and focuses on him and it’s the first time it looks like he’s really looking at something and i just wow

izzy is so happy to see magnus there :) she loves her brother so much :)

magnus holding up two fingers to get people to shut up... the way he snarls “maryse, this is between me and your son” with so much certainty and like no room for bullshit he’s so good at making shadowhunters too speechless to stop him and honestly im such a whore tbh if he did this to me id just nut on the spot. shut me up daddy. fuck who said that

like how they included the “i’ll leave if he asks me to” and how he really doesn’t say anything, he’s just standing there, like they made sure to make this scene respectful and i was kind of dreading it the first time because i’d HATE it if magnus had outed him or made this whole drama out of it but he didn’t and i like that so so much

“i thought we were doing the right thing, but... this isn’t it” always gets me and i can’t even put my finger on why. it just does like again this is not really about magnus or their relationship, it’s about how he feels about the whole thing, everything that he’s giving up and he barely knows what for anymore, and i justjfianfajf

again the BRILLIANCE of the song usage the way that he’s talking to lydia and the beat is so damn loud and overwhelming and then as soon as he turns to magnus everything just drowns out and there is one (1) piano note and it’s just him and magnus and it’s like everything silences??? he’s just so damn focused and it’s not the nervousness and loudness of everyone else and their whole audience (they don’t even show the audience anymore after alec turns to him for real and before the actual kiss i don’t think) and there’s just that sharp focus and certainty because alec’s made up his mind and there’s no sound anymore like mwaaahhh poetic cinEMA

and it’s just that moment of clarity as they both look at each other and the song begins again with the higher tempo again, but it feels more like, a march? than that overwhelming noise. and of course there’s the singing and it feels like everything has purpose and is just laser focused and it’s still intense but in a completely opposite way, not lost but found and wow im such a whORE for this scene it’s unbelievable

like how alec takes the first step towards magnus after he’s down the stairs exactly as the song goes “want” like mwaahhhhh brilliance amazing talented showstopping spectacular never been done before completely unique,

his “enough” is dajksdfahidasdhadusahuash again im a simple sub id nut

i was right they only really show the audience again after the kiss. except for maryse but even then it’s so quick, we see her going to alec and after alec says “enough” she literally doesn’t show anymore it’s like she’s not even there, she just disappears it’s so sexy we stan??? like again alec’s made up his mind and nothing else is there to stop him wow love that for him could you imagine thinking this man is shy and insecure? can’t relate

THEY ARE SKIGGNISNGG

FOREVER A WHORE FOR THE WAY MAGNUS CHASES AFTER HIM HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THE WAY HE’S SO LOST IN THE KISS, IN THE ELATION, AND HE JUST CAN’T HELP GOING FOR MORE BEFORE HE CAN STOP HIMSELF AND KEEP UP WITH HIS TIGHT COMPOSTURE (because magnus had barely moved once alec had seen him, he just stood there and waited like he was waiting for his cue, he was holding himself perfectly steadily and just had so many walls) LIKE HE JUST CAN’T HELP BUT WANT?? AND GO FOR MORE?? AND THEN HE REALIZES ALEC IS PULLING AWAY AND HE LOOKS AT HIM FOR A SECOND (and his eyes look so DIFFERENT, not like there’s a wall there, he looks relieved and happy and even kind of dazed and i just wow the difference is SO clear) AND ALEC LOOKS AT HIM AND HE TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE HE LEANS IN AGAIN, AND IT’S THE FIRST TIME THAT MAGNUS HAS ASKED FOR MORE AND ALEC’S GIVEN IT, BECAUSE ALEC HAS BEEN GIVING HIM SOME OPENINGS BUT EVERY TIME MAGNUS WANTED MORE HE TURNED AWAY, BUT THIS TIME HE FUCKING GIVES MAGNUS WHAT HE’S SILENTLY ASKING FOR, HE’S CHOOSING HIM FULLY AND NOT JUST ENOUGH FOR THEM TO BE ABLE TO BE TOGETHER, HE’S CHOOSING TO GO ALL IN AND KISS MAGNUS UNTIL HE’S SATISFIED AND HOLY SHIT THE POETIC CINEMA!! THE TALENT!!! THE BRILLIANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SHADOWHUNTERS CREW FOR PUTTING UP YOUR FIVE TOTAL BRAINCELLS TOGETHER TO MAKE THIS FANTASTIC THING HAPPEN HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS SCENE IS EVERYTHING TO ME

a bitch needs to lie down i think that’s all for today

next part

#malec livewatch #magnus bane #alec lightwood #meta #malec #sh

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warmau · 5 years

Text

Spiderman!AU Mark Lee

au masterlist | no one asked for it, but i wrote it ,,,,,

there’s something weirdly normal about today

the sun is bright in the sky and the smell of the city is still a mix of strange and unpleasant

the train is late and packed

you barely squeeze out at your stop, your bag snagging on at least three people

but you’re used to all this

used to the hot dog carts, rude businessmen in a rush, cars blasting loud music

and to looking up when you pass time square

and across the neon signs is his name

our friendly neighborhood spiderman saves over one hundred passengers from derailed train!

you look back down at your phone, skipping the next song till you find one that matches your mood

the crosswalk light turns green and you put your foot forward

the screeching tires are muted but the melody

your eyes situated forward, peripheral vision blocked off

when you feel it

a strong gust, at first you think a tornado has hit you - whirling you up into the air

for a moment you’re suspended - held up by something that defies gravity

your ear phones tugged from your ears, clattering down to the ground below you

out of instinct - you look for something to grip and shut your eyes tightly closed

did a car hit me?

why don’t i feel any pain?

why hasn’t my body dropped yet?

what you end up gripping is the front of something sleek, some sort of elastic kind of fabric

you bunch it up in your fist out of fear and wait for an impact that never really comes

“hey you should open your eyes now”

a voice calls out, slightly young and resounding with concern

you don’t want to open them, you’re scared and confused

what just happened?

why am i still not touching the ground?

“it’s ok, i caught you before the truck could stop.”

“,,,,im not dead?”

there’s a pause

and then a small chuckle

“how could you be dead if you just answered me?”

you open your eyes faster than you want to, and when you do you let out a tiny yelp

hovering millimeters from your face is spiderman

the spiderman

the mask a vibrant, illuminating red

you can’t see past it, so you aren’t sure if you’re making eye contact or not

but you feel your heart squeeze

and then you make the mistake of looking down

the ground is hundreds of feet away, spiderman is latched onto the side of some gigantic building with you in his arms, and sure he’s a superhero and all that

but as used to this height as he is - you are not

so you hide your head back in his chest and if you weren’t petrified

you might have felt him tense up just a bit

“h-h-how are we going to get down?”

you squeak, shoulders shaking, spidermans one arm wrapped protectively around your waist

“well i was planning on just jumping-”

“JUMPING!”

“it’s ok, it’s ok! im spiderman so i promise we’ll be fine!”

he assures, but you’re not sure how much it calms you down

because his voice sounds a little panicky too

although that might be because you’re literally quacking in his arms with fear

“c’mon, just trust me ok?”

this time his voice is a bit softer, lower too and you swallow as you shut your eyes again

with them closed, you nod slowly

“ok,,,”

“here, just wrap your arms around my neck tight.”

you’re too scared to let go of the front of his suit, so you do one hand at a time until you’ve got both locked around his neck

you bury your face into the slope and once again you don’t notice how his entire body seems to react

but instead you try to focus on not passing out

“ok, now im just going to -”

“just jump!”

“ok ok!”

you wait, clinging with all your might

you assume the impact when he jumps will be massive so you start reciting little prayers or whatever just that you can survive this

until finally

“h-hey you’re kinda choking me”

spiderman mutters and you loosen your grip just a tiny bit

“can you tell me when we’re on the ground?”

“we are?”

your eyes shoot open again and you see that you’re back on the edge of the city sidewalk

there’s a crowd around you, their phones out their flash making you snap back a little into reality

“he saved someone again!”

someone’s voice calls out

“he really is new york’s hero!”

another person chimes in

but you’re still starstruck to say the least to comprehend what has just happened

spiderman doesn’t seem all that phased, he puts a hand out and you look down to see your earphones in his palm

there’s some webbing stuck to them, but you accept them graciously

“th-thank you for - saving me -”

you sort of stutter as you regain yourself and spiderman just shrugs

“no problem. but you really should get going, doesn’t class start in ten minutes?”

oh my god he’s right!

you think as you take a look at your watch and see the time

you buffer for a moment and you want to say thank you again - but spiderman just waves his hand

“i know you’re thankful, but schools important too!”

you give him a tiny bow before you dash off

the crowd opens up to let you through before focusing in on spiderman again

who brings his hand up to the back of his neck, laughing awkwardly as people shower him in praise and pleadings for a selfie

you’re so caught up in making it to school

you don’t even question the fact that spiderman knew what time your class started

when you do finally skid to the door of your classroom, huffing and puffing and opening the door right in the middle of attendance

you remember you have no excuse to blurt out

but it’s fine because nearly everyone, including the teacher go

“hey - we saw you got saved by spiderman!”

you’re the talk of your school for the whole day

people showing you the news clips of spiderman swinging in to save you from the oncoming truck

your twitter is full of mentions of you in clips of that video and the video taken after he’d safely gotten you back to the ground

in all of them, you notice that spiderman’s not as tall nor does he sound how you expected him too

actually,,,,,you start getting the feeling he’s pretty familiar

like he could have been your classmate at some point

but there’s no way - you would obviously know if you went to school with a person who had superpowers

“enough about spiderman guys, who are you guys asking to prom?”

you look up and see your friend is back at it again

with her faraway gaze as she tilts her hand against her cheek

“i’d love to ask donghyuck but ,,,,, he’d never say yes.”

your other friends chime in about their prospective picks but you just shrug

“im on the prom planning committee so i won’t even be able to have fun. i have to make sure no one spikes the punch according to doyoung.”

“i think you should ask mark lee.”

“yeah, isn’t he on the committee with you?”

all your friends lean in as you feel the skin on your cheeks burn

“w-what, why?”

“because it’s obvvvvvvious he’s into you!”

you shake your head, pushing your lunch tray away

“you guys know that’s not true, anyway i should go find him -”

“to ask him to prom?!?!”

your friends look up at you with sparkles in their eyes and you just huff

“no. to see how the decorations are coming.”

they groan, but you roll your eyes and escape before they can keep pestering you

once you’re in the halls, you mutter to yourself to calm down

mark lee’s been in the same class as you since middle school

you don’t know if you’re friends or anything, but you’re polite to each other

and the only reason your friends tease about him crushing on you is because last semester you’d gotten a love letter on valentines day

which everyone assumed came from mark

but knowing him for so long - you couldn’t ever imagine mark lee of all people doing something so ,,,, corny

he is cute though, ever since he had that growth spurt and dyed his hair blonde much to everyone's shock

you think, but are cut off when your phone buzzes in your pocket

it’s another twitter mention

this time someone has @’d you in the clip of spiderman jumping down from the building with you in his arms

the person asks ‘hey, how does it feel to be hugged by spiderman? i bet he’s a great cuddler T__T’

you take a second and remember the way you’d tucked your head into the crook of his neck, his hand had been around your waist - tight and secure

he was definitely strong, but his grip had managed to still be soft and caring

you were shaking badly, but he had kept you close

you want to think of a reply,,,,but the memory suddenly gives you this warm feeling and -

“oh good, there you are”

doyoung’s voice breaks through your thoughts

“i need you to come with me. also put your phone away, it’s against the rules to have it out during school.”

you obey, too scared to know what will happen if you don’t and follow him toward the gym

which is slowly going through the process of being turned into a dance floor

mark is there, tangled up in a large banner, ribbons, and glitter all over his fingertips

donghyuck is looking at him half amused, half annoyed

and you hold back the urge to giggle as doyoung ushers you over toward them

“we need to finish this banner by the end of lunch - and these two can’t seem to do anything so please - save them.”

mark gives you a slightly lopsided smile and donghyuck puts his hands on his hips

“how do you expect it to get done so fast, it’s not my fault mark came late!”

you blink

mark was late too?

doyoung crosses his arms, eyes narrowing

“well there’s three of you now. figure it out.”

donghyuck looks exasperated as you turn to mark and jokingly ask if he also almost got hit by a truck and got saved by spiderman?

he shyly looks down

“y-yeah something like that.”

you giggle at his response and turn your attention to the banner

oblivious to mark’s tiny nervous swallow

by the grace of some higher power, or maybe just the intensity of doyoung’s stare

you three finish a semi-acceptable ‘welcome to prom’ banner

doyoung gives a nod of approval and you all sigh with relief

you and mark both have science next, so you walk out of the gym together

“we barely escaped with our lives back there!”

“how does it feel having two near death experiences in a day?”

mark grins and you roll your eyes

“i mean the first one wasn’t as scary as facing doyoung right now.”

you both share a laugh, you close your eyes - bringing your hand up to cover your mouth as you giggle

when for the second time

you don’t see it

the skidding skateboard wheels, the last second “oh shi- watch out!”

but mark reacts fast, he reaches out for you

his hands pulling you into his chest as he steps back against the lockers

the kid skids by on his board, tilting only slightly as he goes tumbling off of it

doyoung, sensing something is amiss, bursts out of the gym and barrels down the hall after him

but you

you’re shocked frozen

yes because you almost got hit by some idiot on his skateboard, but more than that

mark’s hands around you -

it feels just like spiderman’s hold ,,,,,,,

but there’s no way, so you abandon the thought and instead try to steady yourself a bit

when his hands drop from around you and his face flushes bright pink

“so-sorry i just wanted to make sure you didn’t get hit-”

“oh no thank you so much i - i -”

you’re both stuttering messes, unsure of what to say or where to look

your saving grace is doyoung charging back up the hall with the guy by the ear

forcing him to apologize to you before dragging him off to the principal

you look over your shoulder, but mark is gone already

the spot where he’d held you tingles slightly, you don’t see the spider web on the locker when you pass by it after

the days countdown to prom - everyday is more working in the gym under doyoung’s supervision

and by the end of it, your encounter with spiderman is forgotten by everyone else because he saves someone else and that becomes viral instead

but you don’t forget, really you don’t think you’ll ever forget

not after laying in bed and trying to recall any detail from it

i looked at him, i was so close to him, and yet - i still don’t know who he is. no one knows,,,,,

when the night of prom finally comes around and all your friends are gushing in your room over their outfits and their dates

you stare down at your phone, the video of you and spiderman playing again

one of your friends plucks it from your hands

“hey-”

“listen, you can’t take spiderman to prom so are you going to ask mark or not?”

you snatch your phone back and stand up

“i told you guys, i can’t ask him or anyone. im going to be helping doyoung the whole night.”

none of your friends buy it, but when you all finally show up to the gym

they disperse to their dates and to the snacks

and you are, as usually, found by doyoung and situated by the punch bowl

before he turns to go police someone else you ask tentatively, “where is mark?”

doyoung checks his watch and clicks his tongue

“good question. i’ll go find him.”

in between keeping an eye on the drinks and watching everyone dance, you kind of feel a pang of loneliness

your friends are all off having fun

and maybe, even though you’d acted like it didn’t really matter, you would have liked to partake in the prom

at least one dance would be nice

but you just sigh, and hand another cup to a giggling couple

before

“hey, sorry i just got here!”

mark’s voice makes the dullness around you suddenly fade

he fiddles with his tie and asks if he’s doing it right

you shake your head and then motion for him to let you help

he leans over the table and as your hands work

you secretly remember your friends teasing

“just ask mark! he totally likes you! and you two would be really cute for one and other!”

the thought makes you embarrassed so you hang your head a little and mark makes a noise of confusion

you finish his tie and he thanks you as he let’s you know he’s going to go get his assignment from doyoung

you watch his back disappear through the crowd

the dress pants, collard shirt and black vest all make him look different than how you’ve seen him in the past couple of years

as that young, naive and coy kid

not the person he is now - broad shouldered and ,,,,, handsome

you look down, noticing that near the punch bowl there’s a corsage

mark must have left it,,,,,i didn’t know he had a date,,,

you pick it up, telling yourself not to listen to the painful feeling in the pit of your stomach

as you rush after mark to return it

you see him walk through the back of the gym doors

which is weird, because you’re pretty sure you spot doyoung over by the bleachers

but you follow him anyway

and when you open the door you see an empty hallway

“where did he go?”

you venture down the hall, pushing past the doors that lead out into the parking lot

where you see one vague figure, outlined only by the shine from the moon

“mark?”

you call out, squinting in the darkness

and then - as if reacting to your voice, the lights of one of the cars starts up and illuminates the silhouette

spiderman? again?!?!?!?!

you don’t believe it - but there he is

the iconic suit, the familair mask you looked right up into when he saved you from that truck

what is spiderman doing here??

you open your mouth, agape with shock

when suddenly he tilts his head up, putting his hand and shooting a web out toward the top of the school building

“w-wait-”

you find your voice and his head snaps toward you

“wait - spiderman - i don’t know if you remember me but i -”

you step closer and closer and that’s when you see

the mask isn’t fully covering his face

instead it’s pulled only over his eyes and everything below his nose is exposed

his lips,,,,,,they look like - you think hard and then remember the incident in the hall

how mark had pulled you in close

holding you against him and when you’d broken away to thank him

those same lips had stuttered a bit

wait - if mark ran out here, and spiderman is the one who showed up instead that means

“mark lee ,,,, you’re spiderman?!?!?!”

“how did you - i mean - i mean -”

he sort of chews on his own words, and you drop the corsage in your hand from pure shock

“oh my god you are!”

before the corsage can hit the ground, spiderman - or should you say mark

shoots a web out to catch it

he pulls it back into his palm and then nervously offers it to you

“oh, no i think you left it at th-”

“it’s for you.”

“f-for me?”

he nods, and you both jump when the sound of the back door opens again

at lightening speed, mark ropes you up in his arms and swings himself back up onto the school roof

it happens so fast that you aren’t even able to grasp your amazement

and you and mark look down to see the top of doyoung’s head

“did those two run off!”

he exclaims before heading back inside

you turn and while mark is momentarily distracted, you tug the mask just a bit more up

exposing exactly who you thought it would be underneath it

mark’s blush is barely visible, but his dark doe eyes are wide and his mouth is parted slightly

“i - i can explain-”

“so you saved me from the truck?”

“yes - i mean yeah, i mean -”

you look down into your hands at the corsage

“and you got me this?”

“i ,,, yeah - i mean i ,,,, i wanted to ask you before - i ,,,, ok wait how did you know i was spiderman?”

“mark lee”

he blinks, poor boy confused out of his wits

“yeah?”

“i don’t think i ever properly thanked you for saving me.”

“well i ,,, it’s fine it’s my job -”

“and i need to thank you for this corsage so -”

you really don’t know what overcomes you

maybe it’s the excitement at the fact that mark lee is spiderman

or that mark lee has probably harbored a crush on you for a while

or maybe just that mark lee is cute

has always been cute

and you’ve always known it

so you lean in and press your lips to his cheek - the rolled up mask presses against your skin

and mark seems to just go still

until you pull back and he suddenly goes

“wait,,,,let’s try it again”

you raise an eyebrow and want to ask what he means, but this time he pulls the whole mask off

and turns to you

“could you,,,um,,,,uh close your eyes,,,,”

his voice shakes and it makes your heart do a little stir

nodding, you let them flutter shut as you feel mark’s hand on yours

suddenly you hear him opening the corsage, before slipping the band around your wrist and then

he’s pressing his hand to your cheek and kissing you on the lips

with such a softness ,,,, that you did not expect from spiderman

when he breaks away from you, you pout

“again?”

you hear him chuckle

“i want too,,,but i actually have to go save some people and stuff. can i kiss you when i come back?”

you open your eyes and he looks so sincere as he asks

“of course”

he does a little fist bump into the air and it makes you laugh

a warmth overflowing the two of you

“oh but also, can you tell doyoung i got sick or something?”

“you’re asking me to cover for you spiderman?”

mark clasps his hands together and pleads

“of course i will, just leave it to me.”

he thanks you, pulling the mask back on and then taking your hand in his one last time

“see you when i get back, make sure to keep one dance for me.”

“don’t worry about me, just go an do your thing mark! i mean ,,,, spiderman!”

you feel him squeeze your hand, pull you into his arms for a hug and you can’t believe it but

it’s the same feeling

the same tight, protective grip

mark lee, your friendly neighborhood spiderman and maybe also your boyfriend now hehe?

#i watched spiderverse on my way to chicago and ontop of that sha la la by pentagon has played in my head nonstop #nct imagines #nct au #nct scenarios #mark lee scenarios #mark lee imagines #mark lee au #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 au #nct 127 scenarios #mark scenarios #mark imagines #mark au #member: mark lee #sfw #spiderman!au #mark lee #nct #nct127

1K notes · View notes

fbdo1986 · 4 years

Note

idk the only fbdo prompt i can think of is cameron falls asleep on the couch so ferris and sloane have a contest to see how much random shit they can put on him before he wakes up. Besides that, the way you wrote cam & sloane’s 1st kiss was very good, how bout writing ferris and cam’s 1st kiss? Unless that’s gonna be in ur new fic of course. Anyway, i’ll be back if i can think of cuter prompts

yo anon… you’re the best!!!! how about i write both???!! it’s hard for me sometimes to write ferris/cam and i have no idea why?? but i’ll do it for you anon! and honestly i’m not too sure if my fic is gonna involve any kissing tbh! i kinda foster ideas as i go

okay! since i am incapable of putting this one in the same timeline of my sloane/cam fic heres one that goes post the fic im working on, which is an interpretation of that fateful day off! (it’s probably a few days after or so)

warning: slight mention of ab*se bc like. cameron’s dad exists

ALSO SORRY THIS IS SO FUCKING LONG I GOT CARRIED AWAY!

Cameron narrowly escapes to his room, his hands shakily pressing the button to dial up the Bueller residence. He was high of pure adrenaline, and unfortunately, fear. The spiel about how ‘he wouldn’t be pushed around any longer, and seriously doesn’t a teenager deserve to have a life of his own? and how he’s done nothing except nearly exhaust himself to make the man proud and he doesn’t even notice!?’ actually takes old Morris Frye by surprise, and in a good way. He ruffles Cameron’s hair and goes on about how for the longest time he’s been waiting for his son to become a man, and how maybe, he’s proud of Cam. That is, until he realizes Cameron’s mentioned the car. Then all bets are off. It starts with a loud bellowing yell and Cameron can sense it’s only gonna escalate from here. Quickly, Morris is inching his way closer to Cameron and even though Cam is giving an explanation as quickly as words can exit his mouth to try and derail his father, it’s no use for the man who loves his car more than his own family. The man is seeing red, the red of that precious 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California that tumbled to its death from the garage. And Cameron needs to get out of there before he gets any closer.

So he makes it to his bedroom, and the immediate response is Ferris. There’s no one who can save him like the boy who can get out of trouble in any situation. The line rings and he hears the familiar, moody hello of Jeanie Bueller. “Hey, it’s Cameron. Can you put Ferris on, please?” His voice wavers, and Jeanie immediately understands. Cameron won’t lose it, not like how he used to, but these things build up.

“Ferris! It’s Cameron!” Jeanie yells, and Mrs. Bueller asks if everything’s alright. Jeanie keeps silent, letting Ferris spill if he decides to.

Ferris has something inside of him that is fine tuned to discussions of Cameron or Sloane. This shout isn’t typical Jeanie tone, and immediate sirens begin to blare in his ears. From across the house he’s at the phone in the hall, immediately replacing Jeanie at the line. “Hey, what’s up?” He keeps his voice light. Maybe it’s nothing.

“Fer, I need an out. My old man is gonna kill me for this car. I mean it. He’ll find a way to give me hell. If it was his way I’d never come back.” He lets out a breath he doesn’t know he’s holding in. “Please.”

At this point, Ferris has nearly bitten the inside of his cheek raw. He suddenly regrets all the things he’s ever done to put Cameron at risk of being hurt by his old man. Sure, he did think taking the car out was good for Cameron—he always wished Cameron could loosen up and fully enjoy what good things happened to him—but he could’ve never imagined the state it’d be in by the end of the day. He meant it when he said he’d take the heat for this, and he still does. It kills him to know his foolishness could cost Cameron harm. Ever since Ferris Bueller understood just how horrible things get in Cameron’s house he immediately knew he’d always be there for him. It takes a little longer to realize the reverse is true, that he’d be complete and utterly lost without Cameron, and that he needs him to stay sane. He won’t let that show in his words or his tone. He’s gotta be strong right now because that is what Cameron needs.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll get you out of there.” He covers the receiver. “Jeanie, can I use your car?” A silent nod of understanding from his sister. Mrs. Bueller is insisting to take care of it, she’s always liked Cameron, but Ferris wants it all under his control. “I’ll be there soon, alright?” He asks Cameron, hoping he doesn’t know that he’s keeping his voice from shaking. At least he can’t see his hands.

A deep breath. “Thank you, Ferris. Seriously. You don’t understand how much I appreciate this.” Cameron always knows that Ferris is and always will be there for him, but he’s always grateful when he steps up for things like this.

Like lightning after Jeanie gives him the keys, Ferris races out of his house and hops into his sister’s car. Ferris is thankful for his driver’s license despite his absence of a car. And he’s thankful for Jeanie at this moment, too. And most importantly, for Cameron. He fights every urge to completely speed over there, since he’d never forgive himself for getting a speeding ticket on the way to his best friend’s house. When he gets to Cameron’s he makes his way to Cameron’s window. He’s willing to risk heat from Morris for sneaking Cameron out, and if the man even thinks he’s getting at Cameron for this he’s sorely mistaken. Has Ferris ever fought anyone? Absolutely not, but Morris Frye deserves to have a taste of his own medicine for once in his life. Ferris raps on the window as quietly as he can, his eyes lighting up immediately when Cameron turns to face him.

Cameron fights a loud, enthusiastic expression of gratitude, but his sentiments remain. “G-d bless Ferris Bueller.” Ferris simply grins. But his eyes widen with concern when he remembers why he’s here. “Wait, Cam. Are you hurt? Did that son of a bitch—” Ferris can’t stop himself from grabbing at Cameron’s arms and getting a bit too close to look at his face.

Cameron chuckles, swatting him away. “I’m fine, Fer. Quit breathing on me. But seriously, I’m alright.” He looks at Ferris, the absolute goof of a best friend right in front of him. Despite his cool exterior, he really does wear his heart on his sleeve. He’s thankful that all those threats that he’d find a new best friend were never serious. Cameron almost embraces him. Almost. He settles for a shared smile.

“Okay, let’s get the hell out of here.” Ferris rocks back onto his heels and Cameron swiftly stands up from his bed. They get out through the window and shut it tight.

The ride to Ferris’s is awkward. Ferris wants nothing more than to crack a joke and relieve this tension, but he doesn’t want to disrespect what’s just happened to Cameron. The radio is on low, playing the current hits. When they reach the Bueller’s Cameron is bombarded with concerned but sweet proddings from Mrs. Bueller and a comforting look from Jeanie. Cameron feels a bit lighter already, but he only feels like he can fully breathe once they’re in Ferris’ room. The Cars are softly playing from Ferris’s stereo while Cameron flops directly onto the bed and Ferris sits next to him.

“Jesus Christ.” Cameron’s voice is muffled against the comforter, and he slowly turns to face up and look at the ceiling. “I hate this. I can’t believe I have to run away to solve my problems.”

“To be fair, you’re not running away. You’re literally 10 miles away from your house. Plus, I helped you escape.” Ferris leans back on his palms and looks at the ceiling too. “Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t done it sooner. I wouldn’t last a day there. I don’t know how you do it. Fuck what Morris says, Cam, you’re the bravest man I know.” He breathes out a sigh and wishes he could say more.

Cameron shifts and turns to Ferris for a moment. “No way, man. That’s you.” They exchange a glance. Despite being friends for seven years, words like these don’t get shared often between them. “Thank you. Again. Not even just for this, Fer.” He looks at Ferris intensely. “My life outside of that house is what it is because of you. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

Ferris averts his gaze, but a smile plays on his lips for a moment. He pauses and draws out the phrase, “You, my love, are worth it all.”

Cameron’s face is immediately drowned in heat. He doesn’t know why this is so significant but all he feels is his heartbeat in his throat and he can’t help but sit up, dumbfounded. He looks at Ferris and there’s nothing that can convince him the boy was joking. Ferris, inversely, however, is turning pale.

“What?” That’s all that escapes Cameron’s mouth, but it’s not upset or repulsed. Only curious.

“Look, Cam, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it and it just slipped out and you’re just great, okay? That’s it. You’re just great, the problem is how great you are.” The words slip out so fast Cameron is just barely hanging on.

“I’m what?”

“You’re fantastic. You’re everything I could ask in a friend and more and I’ve just been thinking it over for a few days and I’m so sorry I ever jeopardized your safety. I need you and all of this wouldn’t even matter if it wasn’t for you, Cameron.” His eyes, deep with worry and passion all at once meet Cameron’s. And without a second thought Ferris’s hands are cupping his face and he presses a kiss into Cameron’s lips. Cameron’s caught off guard, insanely surprised, but as his heartbeat slows he can hear Ferris’s breath in an exhale and Cameron presses a kiss back into Ferris. Cameron smiles and after a moment Ferris parts from the kiss and looks up at his best friend.

“Didn’t mean shit, Bueller.” Cameron laughs and all of a sudden the light is back in Ferris’s eyes and Ferris can’t think of anything to do but tackle Cameron in a hug. It knocks Cameron’s lanky frame over, but they just lay there and continue to laugh.

#idk why the format of this looks weird while im posting hopefully its fine #IM SORRY THIS IS SO LONG I LITERALLY COULD POST THIS AS A FIC #also ofc this is ferris/cam based but yall know id die for the ot3 and i didnt wanna bring sloane in to complicate the plot #BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!#ferris bueller's day off #cameron frye #my writing #ferris bueller #ferris bueller’s day off fanfiction #ferris bueller’s day off fanfic

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bluesfortheredj · 5 years

Text

Gwilym and the reader have been best friends for as long as they could remember and they just did a movie together so they’re doing an interview together and he accidentally reveals a huge secret

You sit in the middle of Joe and Gwilym on a small velvet purple coloured sofa, so small in fact, that it seemed as if it were made for you three, and you lean your head back as one of the make up team applies some powder to your face to make you look a little less shiny on camera. The three of you had done two previous interviews, and by now the room was a little on the warm side, so you needed all the help you could get for the next one, although it was your last, so there was a light at the end of the tunnel thankfully.

“You okay?” Gwilym asks in a slight whisper as the make up lady moves on to Joe.

“Yeah, I’m great, you?” you smile, turning as much as you could to face him.

“Perfect,” he grins, placing his hand on your thigh and squeezing it lightly. This was nothing out of the ordinary for you two, everyone knew that you’d been friends for years before doing Bohemian Rhapsody together, and your small public displays of affection went unnoticed nowadays, especially from the rest of the cast.

“Get a room you two,” Joe smirks from beside you. Well, it went unnoticed most of the time, anyway.

“We did, but you followed us in,” Gwilym quips back, shooting Joe a playful grin over your shoulder.

“Okay, calm down boys, one more interview then we can go for a drink, yeah?” you say as you turn to the face the currently empty chair in front of you all.

“Sounds good to me,” Joe replies, “will you be joining us, Gwil?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, mate,” he says, stretching his arm around the back of the sofa, and carefully placing his hand on your shoulder so that it’s not visible to the camera. His thumb strokes your t-shirt, then the interviewer enters the room, and you all stand up to greet him. He’s a young man named Harry, and his hand shakes a little when it gets to you.

“You okay, Harry?” Gwilym asks, noticing the slight shake.

“Yeah, yes, this is my first big interview though, so please forgive me if I’m a little nervous,” he smiles as he takes his seat, “feels like a job interview with you three sat opposite me!”

“Don’t worry! At least it’s not all of us, right?” you grin.

“True, very true,” he nods, “thank you.”

The camera starts to roll just as he gets his papers in order, then with a surprising air of confidence, he makes his introduction, then delivers the first question.

“Gwilym, I’ll come to you first, how was it working so closely with the Brian May?”

“Intimidating, to say the least. Although by the end of it I think I was the one freaking him out… We sort of ended up mirroring each other quite a lot, it was a little worrying,” Gwilym chuckles.

“If it weren’t for the colour of the hair, you’d never have been able to tell them apart!” Joe adds, and you laugh along with them.

“Now, (Y/N), what was it like kissing Rami in those teeth? Did they get in the way at all?”

“It was more than a little awkward,” you laugh, feeling Gwilym’s hand on your shoulder again as he stretches out once more, his long fingers tickling you slightly, “there was a certain amount of practising that had to be done beforehand, that’s for sure.”

“Is that what you call it?” Joe smirks.

“I think Lucy would have been having words with me otherwise...” you say, nudging Joe’s arm.

“Speaking of which, were there any other romances on set?” Harry asks, looking along all three of you for some kind of sign before you answered. He may be nervous, but he knew exactly what to look for.

“You mean apart from the bromance that formed between the four guys?” you answer, before anyone else opens their mouths, “they weren’t exactly subtle about it, either.”

“What can we say? It was an instant connection,” Joe smiles.

“If only we’d met a few months earlier, they definitely would have been invited to our wedding,” Gwilym laughs, then his face drops as both you and Joe turn to look at him, shocked expressions on both your faces.

“Our wedding?” Harry asks without missing a beat. Gwilym looks directly at you, his mouth moving a little, but no sound coming out of it yet, and you manage to arrange your face into one of calm, then give him a nod, keeping your face turned to him as he speaks to Harry.

“Yes,” he croaks, then clears his throat as he sits upright and places his free hand on yours, which is resting on your knee, “our wedding.”

“Well, to be honest, that’s thrown my questions completely out of the window,” Harry laughs, “how long ago was the wedding?”

“Just over a year,” Gwilym replies confidently as Joe sits there like a deer in headlights.

“Guys!” he eventually gasps, “guys!”

“I take it you had no clue?” Harry asks Joe.

“No clue at all!” he replies, still looking at you both, “I’m speechless!”

“And he’s never speechless,” Gwil adds.

“(Y/N), would you like to add anything?” Harry asks, and you finally look back up at him with a smile.

“I don’t think so, no,” you chuckle.

“So, in light of this news, I have to ask… How was it watching your wife kiss another man?” Harry smirks.

You sit back against Gwilym’s arm with a laugh, his other hand still caressing yours on your leg, and you shuffle over to rest against his side as Joe looks at you both with a smile. Thinking about it, he knew there must have been something between you at one point, or there was going to be something in the future, and he was actually impressed with how well you’d kept the secret from everyone.

“It was a challenge, I’m not going to lie. Especially as they did actually have to practise it beforehand,” he laughs, “how I stopped myself from letting this slip then, I do not know.”

“Is there any reason you’ve kept this a secret so long?” Harry asks, looking to you more than Gwilym. You feel Gwil turn towards you, his hand resting soothingly on your back, and you give a short shrug before answering.

“Not particularly,” you start, “it just sort of… happened.”

“It was such a natural progression in our lives, that it didn’t even occur to us to ‘announce’ it as such,” Gwilym adds.

“You two are too much,” Joe says, pretending to wipe tears from his face, “the sweetest damn couple I’ve ever met.”

“Stop it, you,” you laugh, playfully slapping his leg.

“I’m just really happy I was here to witness this moment,” he carries on, dabbing his cheeks with his jacket cuff as if he were crying. Gwilym reaches from behind you to give him a shove, and you all sit there laughing for a moment before regaining your composure and directing your attention back to Harry.

“I have a question,” Joe then says, turning to you both on the sofa, “when were you going to tell us?”

“Probably when we got back to normality and started wearing our wedding rings again,” Gwilym laughs, “it would be the only time we’d actually remember that we hadn’t said anything before.”

“True!” you agree, “it’d be that sudden moment of realisation that you still had no clue!”

“I’ll try not to take it too personally...” Joe winks.

“Sorry, we’ve sort of derailed your interview here, haven’t we?” you apologise with a slightly worried look on your face as you meet Harry’s gaze.

“I can forgive you, you’ve given me more than enough with your accidental reveal,” he grins.

“Me and my big mouth,” Gwilym scoffs, rolling his eyes.

“What else has he got that’s big?” Joe asks you, a devilish grin spread across his lips.

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mychemicalimagines

#gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee fanfic #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee fluff #bohemian rapsody movie #bohemian rhapsody imagine #bohemian rhapsody fanfic #bohemian rhapsody cast #bo rhap #bo rhap fic #bo rhap imagine #joe mazzello

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