#as a Canadian I can legally make the joke here

[dark-raven-feathers]

I find it funny that Tumblr has just become a refugee camp for users of different sites like Twitter's at war? Go to Tumblr! Reddit is being stupid? go to Tumblr!

#dark raven feathers #196 #as a Canadian I can legally make the joke here #tumblr is Canada in that they recieve many refugees every month #don't cancel me

[noodyl-blasstal]

The Rule Book

It's @taznovembercelebration day 25 and I got the prompt "crisis". Read below or on A03, and catch yesterday's here if you missed it.

-

“I want to fuck a vampire.” Kravitz announces, because he can’t keep it in any more, because there’s simply no point in lying to Barry.

Barry drops his newspaper onto the table in relief. “Thank fuck! I think I’m in love with Lup.” Barry volleys right back to him, because apparently it’s a competition now?

“We’re not supposed to use names! It humanises them…” Kravitz immediately parrots the manual. Wait. Fuck. “No, wait, I didn’t mean that. Taako’s great, it’s not that I don’t have feelings for him, it’s not just all about the sex wanting. He’s human, not like human human, because of the vampire thing, but it’s not just about…” Kravitz waves his hand, searching for the right words, he can’t have Barry thinking this is just a physical thing.

“...The sex wanting.” Barry finishes for him and nods solemnly. Kravitz thinks he’s gotten away with it, then he snorts and repeats “sex wanting” under his breath.

Kravitz scowls. “Barry, we’re having a crisis in case you haven’t noticed, can we bully me later?”

Barry grumbles some but seems to agree. “Fine, fine. So what do we do?”

“Bring flowers?”

“And not our stakes?”

Kravitz groans and sinks into the chair opposite Barry. “There has to be a rule against this.”

“There isn’t, I’ve checked. Twice.” Barry pauses. “Okay, seven times. It’s not there. I read the manual front to back.”

“You’re sure?”

“I guess it’s implied?”

“But 'implied' isn’t legally in the rules.” Kravitz nods emphatically. If it’s not a firm rule it’s much easier to bend.

“There was a thing about telling them if you were ensorcelled.” Barry adds.

“Uh huh.”

“But we’re not.”

“Are you sure?” Kravitz bites at the skin on the inside of his lips, he’s been doing it a lot lately, too much. The whole situation has him on edge.

“Yep! I checked that too. No magic, we’re just the regular kind of enraptured.”

“I’m pretty sure Taako put a spell on me.”

“He didn’t, bud. He didn’t. You just like him because he’s handsome, laughs at your jokes, and is into your whole Mr Bond thing.”

“My jokes are great!”

“Uh huh.”

“And I just like suits and happen to be British. There’s nothing wrong with liking suits!”

“I like a suit as much as the next guy.” Barry indicates his denim shirt with press study buttons.

Kravitz tries not to flinch. “Canadian tuxedos don’t count.”

“It’s in the name!”

“They don’t count!” Kravitz says more firmly.

Barry shrugs in the way that means he definitely doesn’t believe Kravitz and will go on thinking that their clothing choices are exactly the same level of fancy.

“What do we do?” Kravitz turns his coffee mug aimlessly, quarter rotations with no end other than making a tiny scratching noise to let him know he’s definitely not dreaming… Taako’s so ethereal that it’s hard to believe he’s not conjured by Kravitz’s imagination. He’s certainly been a regular feature in Kravitz’s evenings.

“Not killing them sounds good.”

“Oh, thanks Barry, great call, I’ll change my plans for this afternoon and not stake Taako shall I?”

“I mean you could probably still impale him if he was into it.”

“Barry!”

“Sorry bud.” Says Barry in his least sorry voice, the one he saves for after his worst jokes.

“Well if you’re so on top of it, what’re you going to do?”

“Nothing.” Barry says confidently. “She’s not going to be interested. Look at me! As far as she knows I’m a washed up 50 something - I had to tell her I was taking a career break to do ‘some research’ because I couldn’t tell her I’m actually really good at murdering ‘monsters’ like her and have at least three awards about it.”

Kravitz stares at him. “We’re talking about the same Lup, right?

“The one that looks exactly the same as Taako?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes.”

“So you haven’t noticed that she gravitates towards you?”

“I just have stuff she needs a lot of the time.”

“Like…?”

“Information.”

“Uh huh.”

“And napkins.”

“Mmm hmm.”

“And books.”

“And she borrows the books and then you talk about the books?”

“Yeah.” Barry looks at Kravitz puzzled. “In a friend way!”

“At her house?”

“It’s closer to the cafe than here.”

“And I’m not there.”

“We wouldn’t want to disturb you.”

“And you stay over because?”

“She said it’s dangerous to walk around on my own at night.”

“And even though you used to be one of the combat trainers at the institute you said…”

“I can’t give myself away!”

“So you had literally no option but to stay over?”

“Exactly.”

“There’s no way I could have collected you in the car we have?”

“You were probably busy.”

“Nearly every night for the last month?”

“Don’t pretend you weren’t out mooning over Taako!”

“I don’t moon.” Kravitz says sulkily.

“No, of course not, you just sit at the bar with your head in your hand and stare lovesick at him five nights a week for no reason.” Barry’s grinning now.

“Well if you thought that why didn’t you say anything?”

“Well if you thought I was spending an inappropriate amount of time with Lup why didn’t you say anything?” Barry throws back at him.

Fuck.

“I thought maybe if I didn’t say anything you wouldn’t say anything and then no one had to say anything and we wouldn’t get fired.”

“Are you worried about getting fired?”

“I don’t want that on my record.”

“Do you even like our job?”

“I like money, Barry, I like being able to exist in the world.”

“Have you considered marrying rich?”

“Do you think Taako has a secret fortune?”

“Thinking of proposing, bud?”

“No!” Says Kravitz quickly, definitely not thinking of the dream he had three nights ago where he and Taako lived in a cottage by a picturesque lake and everything was soft and warm and perfect.

“I’d ask Lup.” Barry shrugs. “She’s amazing.”

“Maybe start with a date?”

“I’ll do it if you do it.” Barry smiles, smug, thinks he’s won.

“Fine.”

“What?” Barry’s smug smile is replaced by a frown.

“I said, fine. I’ll ask Taako out.”

“I thought you were a rules guy?”

Kravitz shrugs. “Maybe the rules are wrong.”

--

Had a goodfun time? Wanna read some more? Great news! Here's tomorrow's prompt.

#taz november celebration #TAZ NC #Noodyl Writes #Taz balance #Taakitz

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

how does anyone say this guy isn't gay look at that FACE

I KNOW YOU sent this as a joke but HONESTLY some of the DEEP DENIAL I have seen in *coughing* some communities regarding him and the other characters is TRULY astonishing. It ends up being so pathetic and rooted so deep in homophobia, biphobia etc that it just cycles back to being pathetic and kinda sad.

I'm not intending to turn this into a rant, but to me-and to pretty much any queer MGS fan (or LGBTQAI if you dislike queer) it's....obvious. He doesn't fool (us) for a hot second. It's not even a debate. Yet to deeply toxic dudebro *and other toxic het communities, or just the same 'uber masculine' gaming communities that haven't left the mindset of the 90's yet that used to print naked women in magazines just to appeal to them (Link to a video from Caddicarus here that goes pretty good into how atrocious some of this shit got in regards to magazines) he's gotta be ANYTHING but gay.

I genuinely didn't think it was still going to be an issue-but I have seen it still up for debate as early as 2022 and people so desperate they will argue against Vamp being bi even tho Snake LITERALLY SAYS SO in the text. But Snake could've just 'been joking with Raiden'.

We've all seen the posts, we've all seen the stuff, and while it's largely so pathetic it's not worth dwelling over except for amusement-it's kinda sad too.

NO, we never just plain old get "Ocelot is gay" In text but I wanna explain something else too.

I'm *for tumblr anyway* an old man. I'll be 32 years old at my birthday this year. When I was in HS, meterosexual was still a thing. "Gay" was the biggest insult you could be called. A friend had to TELL ME I was bi because I HAD NEVER heard the term.

Gay marriage was legalized in Canada when I was 14-the same year Brokeback Mountain came out. I remember watching the first legally married gay couple on tv and my uncle gagging. When I was much younger, and a teenager, the 'gay character' wasn't called 'gay'.

Instead, they didn't like the opposite sex. Instead, random jokes were made about them being 'abnormal' or 'eternally single'. Instead, incredibly subtle nods were put in to make references to things you would generally only understand as 'this character is gay' if you were an adult with at least SOME exposure to it.

Ocelot, is *in my opinion* absolutely written that way. If you go through the series, there are as many 'hints' and 'nods' and little references that all point in that direction. Is it a cop out? Depends on how you look at it (keep in mind gay marriage still isn't legalized in Japan) I'm not here to discuss another culture though that I'm not a part of-I'm a white Canadian man; I have no say on what is or isn't appropriate for Japan. But I DO remember how homophobic the world used to be-and at times can still be.

The dude bro's making arguments against Ocelot being gay-denying it so hard they turn blue, are usually guys my age or older. I am NOT excusing them-we've got the internet now, 'gay' stopped being an insult a decade ago, it's time to grow up. But I do know how gay characters were written at the time-Ocelot's a perfect example.

Sure, Vamp is stated to be bisexual in 2001. THAT WAS NOT THE NORM AT ALL. And Volgin being Raikov's lover was made obvious in those textual clues-but still only ever stated outright in the original MGS4 Encyclopedia.

I wish these dudes would open their minds a bit (I'm also generalizing a bit, it's not just men in denial). But at the end of the day, it will never not be interesting to me how obvious Ocelot is to us, but not to them.

(THIS GOT OUTTA HAND SORRY-)

#asks #answered asks #revolver ocelot #thoughts posts #mgs #nate rambles #MESSY RANT NOBODY WANTED SORRY-

[nitewrighter]

can we get some symmarah to celebrate?

Ooh! Good idea!

Now the question is, is this me filling in a vital point in their relationship as part of my fic continuity timeline (because god they're basically moved in together by the time Hanzo comes on the watchpoint)? Or just a U-Haul Lesbian joke? You decide!!!

---

"It's efficient," Pharah was sitting across from Cassidy in the Watchpoint mess hall, "It would free up the dormitories more for agents who don't permanently live on the watchpoint, and it would be a lot more comfortable for her, and I feel like it would be a better use of my apartment space."

"Right, because this is about efficiency," Cassidy sipped his coffee.

Pharah gave him a flat, furrowed brow look. "Satya's done a lot to patch the whole watchpoint up. I mean it's honestly crazy how much more livable it is--on a scale level. And that frees up the other admin apartment for you."

"Eh, I'd just trash the place, and you know I ain't got enough shit to fill it."

"Cole, that answer is way more depressing than you think it is."

Cassidy just shrugged. "You know this is weird, right? He thumbed the brim of his hat up slightly.

"What's weird?"

"You two have been bunking up for a good while now, and now you feel like you need to make some kind of... strategic, legal case for asking her to move in with ya. I'm pretty sure she has her own toothbrush at your place already."

"It's a big deal," said Pharah, firmly.

"We're squatters. Vigilantes on a big crazy rocket launch site or not, it's not like you're pulling her into a lease agreement. Plus, between all the missions and the personal shit people got going on, there's a reason why only a few of us have really permanently shacked up here."

"It's a big deal on a personal level. I don't want to freak her out."

"Oh, and nearly dying on missions all the time isn't freaky."

"Cole--" Pharah huffed and pressed her fingers to her forehead, "You don't get it. My mother... like, you know she was never good at the work-life balance."

"...pretty sure that last sentence you just said sums up about 86% of our conversations we had when you were a kid."

"So sue me for not wanting to make the same mistakes!" she huffed and took a gulp of her water, "I like her, Cole."

"You love her."

Pharah leveled her eyes at him.

"I was there on that drone-rodeo mission, 'Reeha. I heard you. I know you're trying to hedge your bets, trying not to get hurt like you've seen your mom get hurt, trying not to hurt like your mom has hurt others, but you're also trying to walk that shit back to 'like' when you're talking about asking Satya to move in with you after you've had your big damn love confession and at this pretty much half the watchpoint has caught her on her 'morning walks' suspiciously near your apartment."

Pharah's ears were burning on Satya's behalf, but she was quiet at this, sullenly taking a few more bites of her food.

"You're the Canadian, ain't you?" said Cassidy, "'Miss 100% of the shots you don't take' and all that?"

"Don't quote Gretzky at me," Pharah muttered. She glanced off out the window, "It's easy to say 'I love you' when you think you're going to die, it's another thing to live together."

"Hey, speaking from experience, you don't need to worry about her getting pissed about you leaving your socks on the floor. She'll just vaporize them."

"...sounds like that's on you for leaving dirty socks around the dormitory."

"See? You're perfect for each other."

"Cole, be serious."

"You want me to be serious? Fine. I think the fact that you're worrying about this is already a good sign," said Cole, resting his elbows on the table and interlacing his fingers in front of himself, "But... you gotta be willing to put yourself out there. Maybe you do get hurt. But hell, I'd rather you love someone as much as you can love someone and get hurt, than lose what you have because you're scared of gettin' hurt."

She saw there was a particular crinkle in his brow that he tended to only get when they were both talking about Ana. Even when she was a teenager railing against Ana she knew how much Cole respected her mother, constantly referring back to her as 'The Captain.' With things slowly and clumsily being patched up with her mother, a part of Pharah felt a little guilty about basically demanding he put himself in opposition to someone he respected so much to maintain their friendship, but that was a different conversation. But that crinkle was directed at her now, and it gave her a sore twist of stress in her stomach.

You're already making your mother's mistakes by letting this paralyze you.

Pharah furrowed her brow at him for a few seconds, still sitting with that sore twinge, then thought of Satya and felt the back of her neck burning. She pursed her lips and drew a long breath in and out. "Fine--" she said, and then, "Fine," again, and then "Whatever," and then "Fine," once more, pushing herself up from her seat, picking up her lunch tray.

"You've got this, Amari."

"Fine," she said, walking away.

"Say 'fine' again," Cole called after her.

"Shut up, Cole."

----

The initial plan was to ask Satya after a romantic (spontaneous!) date. The date would proceed as such: casual shopping trip for odd necessities on Gibraltar that would end (spontaneously!) at a reasonably priced but well-liked restaurant with good vegetarian options (Pharah had staked out 3 in her research depending on where the shopping trip would take them) and then, on the drive home she would (casually!) ask the question and the conversation only had to last the duration of the (not too long, not too short) car ride, giving them both an easy out to immediately part once they got back to the Watchpoint if everything ended up going down in flames. It was foolproof. And... also not viable as she and Symmetra were called off on a mission.

I can do it when we get back, Pharah thought, Not a big deal.

It was Cairo, nothing high combat, more of a combination of security and humanitarian efforts, both their wheelhouses. Satya would be helping to expand and improve living conditions in the refugee camp, and Pharah would be conferring with her former Helix agents to discuss illegal weapons trafficking that had been occurring within the camp--really mostly an exchange of intel. No doubt Talon supplying local gangs to sow more fear and concordantly more chaos among already displaced people and the locals who resented their presence. Brigitte was there both as a medic and to assist with other utility repairs around the camp, and, Pharah guessed, to have eyes on the situation that weren't biased in favor of Helix. The murmurings about possible Talon moles had been there since Doomfist broke out of prison, Pharah tried not to take it personally. It was strange still identifying with Helix even though she had somewhat always mentally acknowledged it was the organization she chose because Overwatch wasn't an option to her. They had still been her team, she had still seen them fight and lose their lives alongside her against Anubis.

Helix had set up four cramped portable buildings at the center of the camp. Pharah remembered butting heads with Mercy over their placement back before they had answered the Recall. She couldn't exactly blame Mercy for being resentful of a well-armed security force after all her time in Overwatch and after everything had gone as wrong as it had, but on a logistics level given the circumstances, these plain, beige portables were a symbol of law, order, and safety for the camp. Or maybe she just always told herself that because Helix was the next best thing when Overwatch went down in flames. To be honest, with the work Satya was putting in, the portables were looking increasingly shabby.

She didn't recognize half of the Helix officers she was meeting with. They had heard of her, though. They always had, even since she had joined Helix. She was the daughter of the legendary Ana Amari, after all. But now she wasn't sure whether Cairo was becoming an increasingly undesirable site of assignment for Helix, or whether Helix was just starting to recognize that this was a problem you couldn't solve with guns and Raptora suits. Her replacement, Security Chief Kamran Zakaria, looked annoyingly young--she had been young, too, but she had worked her ass off to get where she had been, and watched her superior die. And his haircut was not regulation. How lax had Helix gotten without her?

"Hakim being out of the way has made a big difference. People are still muttering about that damn cat vigilante. Makes us look bad. Not a friend of yours, I hope?" Kamran was only wearing the leg armor of the Raptora suit, leaning against the accessibility rail that bordered one of the portable buildings. There was a permanent grimace on his face from the stench of the camp.

"Not that I know of," said Pharah. She had seen a few blurry photos of the 'Bastet' vigilante, knew the hood and the particular way she moved with her rifle well, but hadn't pushed Ana on the subject.

"Well, whoever dismantled his operation, we can already see the effects, and we've been acting on it. There was a power vacuum for a bit, loud, sloppy, easy to trace and deal with."

"And Talon?" said Pharah.

"The usual trickle of weapons I showed you, but the serial numbers and shipping containers we've found them with suggest they're bouncing through Algeria, the United States, definitely, and Germany. Doesn't seem to be the same concerted effort as previously, so I guess you guys must be doing something right."

Or it's no longer strategic, Pharah mused internally, but she just rolled her grip on the railing, No, take the wins where you can.

"So, what are Overwatch's plans for this?" Kamran gestured out at the refugee camp.

"We have contacts in the Adawe Foundation. We can get about 15 to 20 visas a month to for refugees here live and work in Numbani, depending on their skills and family. Teachers, doctors, and engineers are in high demand, especially."

"That's it?" said Kamran, "You know we've got people still coming in, right? And if there's another major Null Sector attack, this whole camp might just boil over."

Pharah crinkled her brow at Kamran. "You know we're operating without the jurisdiction or the resources of the UN. And we're trying to respect the operations of local governments as much as we can."

"Well yeah, but one more group with just guns running around is... one more group with guns running around. Thought you guys took up that old name for a reason."

Pharah furrowed her brow at him, ready to hit him with 'I'm sorry, how long have you had this position?' or 'I'm not the one having a cat vigilante do my job for me' but before she could speak there was an audible cheer rising from the camp.

"The hell is it now?" Kamran vaulted over the railing and Pharah hustled after him.

They hurried through the winding corridors of the camp towards the source of the noise, at one point, Pharah could see Brigitte repairing an old woman's walker, with a line of several people with cybernetics or mobility aids lining up behind her. Brigitte caught Kamran's eye, too, but he hurried on, towards the source of the noise. Pharah saw more and more bits of Satya's handiwork throughout the camp--Hard-light trashcans with solid lids to keep refuse from blowing around and reduce smells, and a large patch of dirt where children had previously been playing now flattened with a more shock-absorbent layer of hard-light tinted dark green and marked out with lines for four-square, hopscotch, and even two hard-light goals at the furthermost ends for football.

Both Pharah and Kamran came to a halt at the sight of a crowd gathered round a blue-clothed figure. Pharah glanced around to see that many of the more dangerous or ineffective-looking tents had been carefully replaced by hard-light geodesic domes, clearer walking paths between tents had been marked out to keep debris out of the way. She had even put up signs pointing to the toilets and bathing stations that other humanitarian organizations had set up. But clearly from the excitement from the crowd, this was the big factor.

Pharah watched as Satya constructed several hard-light beams to support a massive solar panel shade structure being hauled into position by several camp workers. Satya's arms were spread, her shoulders flexed and legs lunging in an almost martial arts stance. Usually her movements seemed so effortless and dancer-like, but this was something else. There was intention behind her movements, and a more severe focus than Pharah had seen even in some of their combat missions. Those golden eyes fixed on her goal, that imperious mouth tensed with that expression of 'Just so' as the glittering support beams adjusted their height against the ground as the other camp workers moved the solar panel structure into place. There was the groan of metal and everyone squinted as wind kicked the Cairo dust up, when someone shouted something affirmative and a few other workers moved in and riveted the solar panel in place. Satya resumed her perfect posture and with a sweep of her arm, dissolved her hard-light support pillars. With a slight creak and a low puff of dust at everyone's heels, the solar shade structure settled, solid and strong. The cheer bubbled up from the crowded camp once more, and Pharah stared up at the shade structure in wonder. A combination of shade and power--something like this would mean less smoke from diesel generators, more lighting around the camp, meaning less thievery at night, a place for newer refugees to charge their phones and get in contact with friends or family abroad who might help them move out sooner, power for mini-fridges, meaning more stability for perishable food, and on top of all that, a precious source of shade and windbreak in the harsh dust of Cairo.

"Woah," Kamran said quietly. He looked over at Pharah, "It was going to be weeks until we had the manpower and equipment to see that thing installed."

"Well, we did say we came here to help," said Pharah.

"I thought Overwatch wasn't too fond of Vishkar?" he glanced over at her.

"She's not with Vishkar, she's with us," said Pharah with no lack of smugness, "We're not just one more group with guns running around, you know."

----

The ride home in the dropship was quiet. Some missions prompted that silence more than others. Pharah loved Cairo, but the fact that it had become a major hub for refugees, the fact that there were so many desperate people and that they could only help so many at a time, that they only that they only had so much power, made her heart sore. Brigitte was sitting behind her, busying herself by writing up a mission report on her tablet. Satya had her own tablet in the copilot's seat, apparently listing possible resources Overwatch could organize to be sent to the camp, and making further notes on living conditions. For this camp? For others?

Pharah's mind trailed back to the apartment question. 'Hey speaking of living situations, what are your thoughts on moving in?' No. Too flippant. No respect for all the people they had just worked with. Maybe ask her out for that deferred shopping trip she had initially planned on? No, they were all too tired to think about that now... She focused on steering for a while, but her gaze trailed back to Satya, noting the furrow in her brow as she tapped in notes on her tablet.

"How are you doing?" asked Pharah, rolling her grip on the controls as they sat next to each other.

"I'm... fine," Satya said after a few moments.

"Just fine?" Pharah tilted her head.

Satya lowered her tablet slightly. "It's just... familiar. I like building. I like giving people a clean and beautiful place to live, but this..." She looked out the window at the refugee camp shrinking in the distance behind them, "None of these people are here by choice." She paused, "I used to do this often with Vishkar."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't see it until later but... when people would refuse to let Vishkar build a development... then... Talon would coincidentally strike, and all of a sudden Vishkar would seem so much safer. It would seem like the only option. So they would take up Vishkar's offer, usually now a lot more expensive, and giving Vishkar a lot more access to their resources and labor... and that's when the architechs would come in. That's where I would come in. I thought I was saving the world from Talon's chaos... but I was just helping all of them line their pockets and control more people's lives. When I'm doing it on my own it-- it doesn't feel like enough. It's not enough to make up for what I did with Vishkar."

Pharah wanted to hug her, but she was driving the dropship. She raised a hand toward her, hesitated, resumed her grip on the steering wheel, trying to assume that solid, clear voice of a leader.

"Satya, you made so many people's lives better today. I know they don't have a lot right now, but thanks to you they have electricity, cleaner water, safer ways to move around the camp, more protection for themselves and their belongings. No, their living situation isn't permanent but... you gave them dignity. Which means a lot." She paused and felt her own voice soften, "You know, you've done the same for the Watchpoint, too. People get so caught up in all the missions, they forget that the Watchpoint needs to be this central hub, that it needs to be somewhere safe, that we can rest and recover at. I know it's not supposed to be permanent either, but you still--"

"I want to move in with you," Satya said suddenly, setting her tablet down in her lap. Pharah froze in her seat.

This prompted Brigitte to glance up from her tablet, unbuckle her seatbelt, and clear her throat, muttering, "I'm just going to... check the inventory in back..." She moved about as quickly as one could in full armor on a moving aircraft.

"C-come again?" said Pharah.

"I want to move in with you," Satya said more firmly.

Pharah's own head was a log jam of 'Oh thank god I wasn't sure how to bring it up' and 'Yes, yes, I love you of course, do you think we should get new furniture?' and 'Oh god I'm so sorry I let you stay in that dormitory for so long.' But all that stammered out of her was, "Oh-Okay."

Satya seemed to take this as continued bewilderment rather than acceptance and went on. "I was going to ask when we got back but..." She fidgeted with her fingers slightly, "I--I didn't want you to think I-- I'm getting with you just for your apartment!"

Pharah blinked. "Satya, I don't think that at all. I would never think that."

"It's just more efficient!" Pharah could practically feel the heat blazing off of Satya's face as she said that, but the word 'Efficient,' made a sputter of giggles burgeon up from Pharah's chest. But then Satya suddenly splayed her fingers and a blue screen sparkled into existence next to her head, "There's multiple benefits, both mutually and to the watchpoint as a whole! I made a slideshow!"

"You made a slideshow on why you should move in?!" Pharah was cracking up now.

"I wasn't sure of the protocol for this," Satya's voice was taut and those golden eyes were deadly serious.

It took Pharah a few seconds to get over her own laughter before clearing her throat. "Satya, I would love if you moved in. You don't.. need to justify yourself all over the place. I would love to have more time to spend with you. Even if it's just... doing dishes, or dumping myself into bed next to you late at night because we've both been busy all day," she paused, "Especially if it's waking up next to you." The words seemed to come out of her so much more easily than 'This would free up more space in the dormitory' or 'This way you're not always walking or teleporting across the watchpoint to get your stuff.'

Satya was staring at her. "Truly?" she said.

"Well--Yeah! I love you, Satya," Pharah smiled, the low orange sunlight through the dropship's windshield catching in her gold hair beads, "I should have asked you... while ago, really. But... I was scared. I knew things were already such a big change from Vishkar and I didn't want to... scare you away or anything."

"Fareeha," Satya reached over and touched Pharah's arm, "You are the best thing that's happened to me since leaving Vishkar."

She leaned over in her seat and Pharah craned over as much as her seatbelt would allow. Satya was likely just going for a cheek kiss seeing as Pharah was driving, but Pharah wasn't going to end a 'We're moving in together' conversation with a cheek kiss. She met Satya's mouth with a bit of effort and felt Satya start slightly at the contact, then lean into it, cupping her hand at Pharah's jaw and playing with her hair beads slightly. They weren't sure how long they were kissing until a rattle of turbulence forced Pharah's attention back to the controls with a nervous giggle. "Eh--sorry--" she said, giving a shrug with both hands on the controls.

Satya just smiled and faced the same direction, tucking a lock of dark hair behind her ear.

"...You know, I'd still like to see the slideshow, later," said Pharah.

"Good. I worked very hard on it," said Satya, sitting up in her seat with a smug smile on her face.

#Symmarah #me making cassidy supportive in the most obnoxious way possible: it's bi-coding #cole cassidy #Symmpharah #Pharmetra #I feel like I'm the only one posting to this ship tag these days #but then if Symmarah has only one fan... I am that fan #overwatch #satya vaswani #fareeha amari

[eliseinmemphis]

Elvis and Austin!Elvis Ask Game

I was tagged by @sapphirescripts, @aconflagrationofmyown, @blurredcolour, @loving-elvis, @mesbouquins, @heisatroubleinapinksuit, @lindszeppelin, @powerofelvis, and @karamelcoveredolicity! Thank you all so much 💕

These questions were put together by @aconflagrationofmyown, and the original post can be found here.

When and what was your first exposure to Elvis Presley? I genuinely do not remember. He's always been there, since the very beginning; I don't think there was ever a time when Elvis wasn't a part of my life.

And what was your first impression? I never really had a first impression since he was always just sort of there, but I've loved Elvis for such a long time. When I was younger I viewed him as a sort-of guardian angel. Other kids had imaginary friends, and then I had Elvis.

Lace shirts or jumpsuits? It's gotta be jumpsuits. Something about them makes me go absolutely feral. They're so sexy for absolutely no reason. Yes, even the gaudy ones.

You can steal one of Elvis/Austin’s outfits, what’s it going to be? There are so many good ones! This is such a hard question! The red blouse with the belt is such a good outfit for both real Elvis and Austin!Elvis that I'm going to have to pick that. And as for Austin himself, I love a Canadian tuxedo.

C’mon, we know you’ve been watching/reading old interviews and random footage of the man, so what’s your favorite random Elvis quote? That one about how being in the army didn't change his opinion on rock n' roll music because he was in tanks and they rock and roll quite a bit. He was so damn proud of himself for that joke and it's terrible. And this isn't a quote, but I love how much he calls people boy. He's Southern Southern.

Did you find Austin Butler’s lips distracting despite them being in a movie about the King of plush upper lips? (Be honest now) Who didn't! That shot of him putting the ice pack over his eyes as they're seguing into the Burning Love montage had me laser-focused on his lips. He needs to drop the name of his injector fr.

What’s an aspect of Elvis’ character you wish more people appreciated? His kindness, his generosity, his humour, his gratitude. There are just so many aspects of him that should be appreciated more that it's hard for me to list them all, let alone without getting emotional.

You meet Col. Tom Parker for the first time, forewarned with the knowledge of what a scumbag he is, what do you do?: A. nothing, you’re a coward who doesn’t care about abused golden-hearted men B. you give the Colonel a stern telling off C. you encourage Elvis to leave him and break the contract E. you slap a legal document against that fat suit and declare “Mrs. Claus is bringing you a lawsuit” F. you waste no time with formalities, it’s a letter opener to the jugular for that piece of trash A real toss up between E and F here.

What was your favorite aspect/scene from the Elvis 2022 movie? I loved what a spectacle it was. Everything was so overwhelming and fast-paced, which is perfect for telling his story. I can't imagine how overwhelming his life must have been.

As for my favourite scene, the Vegas rehearsal just makes me so joyful, and that moment right before the Lousiana Hayride where he's nervous at the water fountain and then starts singing "I'm flyin away". Seeing that the first time in theatres I was so taken aback by how perfectly Austin captured Elvis.

You can choose only one song or piece of media to convince someone to become an Elvis fan, what is it going to be? Either the '68 Comeback Special or Elvis (2022).

How many children would you give Elvis Presley from your own -or theoretical- womb? (listen to the beast in ya, your feminism won’t serve you here) As many as he goddamn wants. I am a dead man's whore.

Where are you hanging out with EP, his bedroom with the teddy bears, Club Handy, his private jet or Graceland? Graceland! It was his safe space. His haven. I would love to be able to witness him in complete comfort like that.

What is the peak Elvis era? warning, this says an awful lot about you… 70s!!!!!!!!

How long have you been an Austin Butler fan (be honest now, God is watching) I'm gonna come clean -- only since I saw the movie. I did not even know this man existed before that. Austin, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

What kind of Elvis chick are you? -a 1950’s prospective wife material that he’s already sampled, a 1960’s filmset fling or a Vegas torrid backstage affair? I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am anything he wants me to be. The Vegas affair do be hitting different though.

Is Austin Butler an honorary southerner now? Answer options: A. hell no, California can keep his sweet cheeks. B. hell yes, he’s practically been possessed by the soul of the King of the South I'm not even American (even though I am moving to the South in about three months), so I don't think I'm exactly qualified to answer this, but I'm gonna go out and say no. He's too Cali at heart.

Pick your poison in the fan-fiction realm: angst, fluff, smut, fluffy smut, angsty fluff, angsty smut?…or is reading about Elvis Presley an acknowledged health hazard? Besties, it's me. Smut.

Spit or swallow for this man? (And if you don’t understand this question move right along) I AM SWALLOWING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Would Gladys approve of you? Take your above answer into consideration Probably not 💀

Which of Elvis’ cars is your favorite? His Stutz Blackhawk III. I don't often think cars are sexy, but that shit's sexy.

What are your odds for besting this man at karate? Less than zero; he would body me. And I'd thank him for it.

If you could meet Elvis and have enough composure to tell him something, what would it be? I would thank him. He means so much to me, and it hurts that I'll never be able to thank him, or even let him know. And I'd want to listen to him. We share an interest in the spiritual, and I would love to discuss it with him. But mostly thank him.

What’s a hobby or pastime of yours you wish you could share with Elvis/Austin!Elvis? I'm not too sure! I think it would be interesting to read his tarot, though.

What’s the Elvis 2022 quote you’ve been mumbling to yourself ever since you heard it? "This isn't Christmoos!"

What are your top 3 go-to Elvis songs? This is so hard to pick omg. I'm gonna go Suspicious Minds, Power of My Love, and either Burnin' Love or Heartbreak Hotel.

If you could spare him one tragedy what would it be? His death. The drugs. The ridicule. So many things.

Is there a modern artist that sorta scratches for you the itch that Elvis’ absence leaves? Not at all. He was gone for decades before I was born, but I miss him more than I think I've ever missed anyone. It feels like a piece of me is missing.

How did you react at the end of the movie when In the Ghetto started to play A. I got up and fixed a snack because I have no soul, B. I left feeling alarmingly horny, C. I was impressed but didn’t realize how affected I was until days later when it was still with me D. I cried buckets they had to bring in a mop E. I may have appeared emotionless but in fact my soul was leaving my body and I don’t think it’s returned quite yet A solid D. I've seen the movie around 15 times now, and it still makes me bawl like a baby every time.

If you’ve got a favorite gif or photo insert it here and bless us all There are so many it's hard to choose. This has me acting up, though.

#shut up #ask game #thank you guys so much for tagging me in this!

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Scenes in Toronto When Brokerage Offices are Raided,” North Bay Nugget. January 31, 1930. Page 1. ---- General scene of clerks carrying out box\xes from one of the brokerage firms of Toronto, where members were arrested on charges of conspiracy, bail being placed at $100,000. The drive is the biggest clean-up in stock brokerage business in the history of Canada and comes as a real sensation.  //// “Trading in Mining Stocks at Standstill Following Arrests of Prominent Stock Brokers,” North Bay Nugget. January 31, 1930. Page 1. === All Brokers' Assets Are Seized by the Government ---- Toronto, Jan. 31 - (By Canadian Press.) - Thousands of investors in mining securities having margin accounts with five large brokerage firms, whose active heads and chief employes were arrested yesterday on charges of conspiracy to defraud, awaited business on Standard Stock and Mining Exchange today with feelings akin to fear. On one hand developments were regarded as constructive in that the air would be cleared of rumors concerning brokerage methods indulged in by some operators which for months have been bandied back and forth in down-town circles. Elsewhere it was feared that stock holders would become panic stricken and throw their holdings overboard.

Are In Daze Toronto Jan 31 - (By Canadian Press) - Thousands of margin holders of mining stocks in many parts of Canada are wondering today precisely where they stand following the action yesterday by the Ontario Government in arresting the leading broker members of the Standard Stock and Mining Harhange seizing the companies books refusing their representatives the trading privileges on the floor and throwing at least one firm into the hands of a receiver

Assets Are Held Holders of mining stocks on margin are wondering if they can redeem stock held by the companies over which the government has taken control by furnishing collateral to purchase the stocks outright Hon. W.H. Price, Ontario Attorney General, said in connection with this matter last night. ‘It is not our position to decide just what in done with this collateral. We stepped in, seized every thing and prevented the possibility of transference. All these assets are now held by a Tilly, Johnston and Parmenter one of Canada's outstanding legal firms, and Messrs. Clarkson and Edwards, two of the most competent accountants in the province, will study the conditions of the firms and the action that will be taken in the interest of the clients.

Must Make Claim “I there are persons, as there undoubtedly are who state they own certain stock or collateral, let them make their claim. These claims in due course will be investigated and the claimants delivered their property.” ////

300 Affected Here By Development Yesterday Many of those who had thronged the offices of North Bay's brokerage houses at the height of the "bull" movement in the mining stocks last summer, assembled yesterday. afternoon in front of The Nugget store and read with avidity, the Toronto dispatch chronicling the arrests of nine brokers and the confiscation of their books by the police.

News Spread Rapidly Following the posting of the bulletin, the news travelled quickly and group after group arrived at the store to get the news first hand. Among those who were noticed in the crowd who eagerly scanned the news, were men prominent in the life of the city. Old and young seemed to be alike, keenly interested. Bankers rubbed shoulders with doctors, merchants or lawyers, while railwaymen laughed and joked with each other and speculated on the possible fate of the nine who have been added to the long list of brokers who have been called to the bar of justice to give an accounting of their transactions.

300 Involved Here Speaking to The Nugget this afternoon, a man who is conversant with the situation here, estimated that approximately 300 North Bay traders are affected by the events of the past few days. He added that there are about 50 traders here with accounts ranging from $2,000 to $10,000. One man who had an investment of $10.000 demanded his certificates four days ago, after he had been put off repeatedly by promises He only received them yesterday, and considers himself indeed fortunate.

The Nugget's informant also feels that the present situation is not a case of insolvency but that all will eventually get their money, or its equivalent.

Might Have Been Worse All are agreed, however, that had the debacle occurred six months ago, the number whose holdings would have been jeopardized in North Bay would have been close to a thousand. For some time past the feeling has existed here that the showdown has been delayed too long. Now that it has come, many are resigned to the worst, the nervous tension having been lessened.

It is alleged that orders to purchase stocks placed with certain brokerage houses were never executed and that in some instances, brokers used their client’s money to "bear” down the stock. For instance, a man decided to buy 100 shares of Teck-Hughes at say, $8 per share on margin. He would put up $300 as collateral, the broker advancing the balance. If there was a wide public "play" in this stock, the brokers would use their client's money to bear down the stock, until the man who had invested $300 would have little left and would eventually be sold out, if he could not answer the call for additional margin.

Bankers when asked to comment on the situation here, were inclined to be reticent. One felt that it would be a breach of faith for him to answer the questions that were put to him by The Nugget Questioned as to whether cheques of certain brokerage houses were being honored, he said that this, too, was a confidential matter He added, however, that "some are not being honored.”

Another bank manager said that as long as a patron had funds in his bank, his cheques would be honored. unless a government "hold" order was issued.

Belated Action Another man who has been a heavy trader said that the Alberta government should be given credit for starting the ball rolling in the investigation of the brokerage houses, by the issuance of warrants for the arrests of Solloway and Mills. He felt that the action in Ontario has been more or less belated. ////

Brokerage Situation at a Glance ---- Nine Toronto brokers arrested on charges of conspiracy to defraud the public. All released on bail of $100,000 until Feb. 7. Three material witnesses arrested in connection with these cases were released on bail of $25.000.

Warrants have been issued by Attorney General Price of Ontario, for arrest of I.W.C. Solloway and Harvey Mills, head of the coast to coast firm of that name. These will be served when the pair have faced charge preferred by the Alberta Goverment under the security frauds prevention act.

Montreal authorities hold warrants from Ontario Government for arrest of W. J. Wray, Toronto.

D.S. Patterson and Co. A. E. Moysey and Co., Stobie, Forlong and Co., Holloway Mills and Co. and Homer L Gibson and Co., are the firms involved in today's arrests.

All these companies have had their trading privileges suspended on the Standard Stock and Mining Exchange.

Solloway Mills and Co. and Stobie, Forlong and Co. had their trading privileges suspended on the Vancouver Exchange. The former company voluntarily withdrew its traders from the Calgary Exchange.

Stobie, Forlong and Co. made a voluntary assignment at Osgoode halll.

Hon W. H Price said he is waiting further information from Ottawa regarding the brokerage situation there.

Clients purchasing stocks on margin from companies over which the government took control will have their claims protected, Mr. Price announced.

The Manitoba Government attached banking accounts of a number of brokers in that province and added to the list of companies under survey by province and appointed auditors. The Government also initiated an audit in the Winnipeg office of Solloway & Mills and Stobie, Forlong, Matthews Limited

Heavy Bail Demanded Toronto, Jan. 31. (By Canadian Press) The complete list of brokers and employes under arrest is as follows:

Maurice E. Young of Homer Gibson and Co.

William J. Smart of Homer Gibson and Co.

D.S. Paterson of D. S. Paterson and Co.

Austin Campbell of D. S. Paterson and Co.

Edgar E. McLean of D. S. Paterson and Co.

James J. Heppleston of A. E. Moysey and Co.

W. J. Shutt of A. E. Moysey and Co.

Malcolm Stobie of Stobie. Forlong and Co.

C. J. Forlong of Stobie, Forlong and Co.

George Kimmerley of Solloway, Mill and Co.

Max Engles of Stobie, Forlong and Co.

Gordon Traper of Stobie, Forlong and Co.

The first nine listed above have been released on bail on $100,000 each while the last three were released on bail of $25,000 each.

#toronto #north bay #brokera #conspiracy to defraud #defrauding investors #attempt to defraud #investors #financial capitalism #capitalism in crisis #capitalism in canada #brokers' trial #stock brokers #bail conditions #police raids #attorney general of ontario #great depression in canada #crime and punishment in canada #history of crime and punishment in canada #stock manipulation

[sunflower-butch]

Пчелка, if i can forgive you for a little late response then you'll have to forgive me for completely forgetting this blog exist. (I feel like me joking about being a dumb of ass has never been truer)

Here's where you're wrong though because chocolate that is just a little bit bitter is the best. (opinions on pickles?)

it is pretty old! I got it from my favourite little book store. I have a bit of a thing for buying old books and they have such a good selection (second hand book stores wooo!) I have to keep myself from coming home with the whole store!

aye me too! same with Legally Blonde and Scream being on the list. I think i'm gonna watch scream soon with it being spooky season, I might even use it for my Ronancetober prompt (which means i'd be watching it in like 1-2 days so i'll probably stick to my original plan)

do you have a favourite horror movie? or just movie in genera?

You're always welcome to send me more songs for me to put the random ass colour/place association my brain gives me into words. I do gotta share one song i've been obsessed with for the last couple days or else i'll explode. Two Weeks by Grizzly Bear which sounds like a very clean but not empty (which probably makes no sense but bare with me i'll give picture reference) anyway it's a mix between a clean but not empty black, white, and gray. and even though it's not a Christmas song it reminds me of one, thus the immediate memories of me, all my siblings driving around at night looking at the crazy Christmas light decorations, it was always so peaceful and very pretty I wish I could just like... take the memory out of my head show you Giver style. Disclaimer: the only photo I took out of all of the one's i'm about to show you is the sunbeam one.

MAY I PRESENT TO YOU! CLEAN BUT FULL COLOURS

is that last one the floor is Costco? Possibly.

goat milk ice cream sounds so good? Even though i'm lactose intolerant i'd risk it all for ice cream.

I laughed a little when you said you only get a little snow because winter last from November until March which I don't really mind until March since I was Not Built For The Sun, it only get annoying in March then i'm over all the snow that's still sitting around.

wait dude congradulations (or however you spell it) on doing something about your crush very cool of you! like a week ago I seen a cute girl, tripped in front of her then hid in the bathroom for 15 mins. nothing weird or awkward friendly flirting only *thumbs up emoji except i've already mentioned my computer is old as fuck and doesn't work properly so no emoji's for me unless i'm using mobile* I love talking to you too! you can be my weird american internet friend. Not to sure about the dm thing maybe eventually (not that I don't comfortable i'm just hella shy and scared of rejection (though I don't even know how'd since you're the one always replying lol)

i'm feeling a lot better even enough to actually bake cookies!

cookie pictures as a thank you for being so nice when I was sick <333

your weird Canadian friend who's totally not freaking out about Alvvay's new album being released tomorrow

-el

HELLO

Let me start off with I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR NEVER ANSWERING

I had every intention of doing so and then October put me through the RINGER and my brain decided my inbox was a cursed place and ignored it so bad. I did NOT mean to just never reply, I swear <33

I’ll give you that! A little bitter is good! I like mine more sweet, but there is such a thing as too sweet! Also, I feel like this is the wrong answer, but I really do not like pickles 💔

That’s such a cool hobby!!! The only used bookstore we have local is… Well it’s a religious bookstore and I’ve not felt like checking it out 😅 But I love old books! My dad has given me a few of his own. I love my yellowed, falling apart, old book smell LOTR trilogy so much. I should sit and read them sometime

I still need to watch Scream!!! I did, however, finally watch Legally Blonde, and that was an EXCELLENT decision, 11/10, highly recommend. We love intelligent, badass women in this household.

Admittedly, I’m kind of a big baby when it comes to horror, less so in a blood and gore way and more in an I have anxiety and jump scares might send me into cardiac arrest ajdkdkdkksks. That said! The best horror adjacent thing I’ve watched is probably Ginger Snaps!! I have a feeling Scream might top it, just a vibe, but I have to watch it first lol. How about you?? Do you have a favorite horror movie? 👀

OH OH OH I LOVE THAT SONG!!! You are so so so right, I can see it!! If you’re interested, here’s a trio for you: “Sports Car” by Valley (became a recent favorite!), “Infinitely Ordinary” by The Wrecks, and “The View Between Villages” by Noah Kahan (I love this man!!!). Also!! That sunbeam photo is so lovely!!! That belongs as the photo on someone’s playlist for sure

It is! I am also lactose intolerant, so goddamn worth it dude 😋

That’s wild!! I honestly wish we got snow more often, I just wish it didn’t come with ice ajskdkkdkd. We have… Winter? It’s like Christmas through mid February. We get ice storms and sleet and MAYBE like three snow days 😭

Thank you so much! It’s very exciting. I have discovered I am in fact hopeless when not behind a screen. It’s easy to flirt when you’re not stuttering and red in the face. I am SO MUCH MORE CONFIDENT here, it’s wild. But I guess I’m doing something right ahdkdkkddk.

Weird American friend is fun! You can be my cool as fuck Canadian friend!! I know nobody there, though oddly enough my grandparents lived in Alberta for several years! No worries/no pressure as far as DMing, this is fun too! <333 Also!!! I’m still 100% down to watch LOTR with you, and I promise not to be obnoxious and spout off facts that everyone already knows (did you know the riders of Rohan were all women in beards—[GUNSHOT])

Those cookies look delicious!!! Perfectly chewy, by the looks of it! I’m guessing you enjoy baking?? <33

THE ALBUM I NEED TO GO BINGE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW SHIT I GOT TOO WRAPPED UP IN NOAH KAHAN

- your very, very sorry, weird American friend Max/Lo

#writing this with my head hung and tail between my legs #feel so so so guilty #I swear I did not mean to leave this unanswered so long 😭 #elmax anon #please forgive me 💔

[licensedproducers]

#GrassrootsCannabis #ManitobaCannabisSyndicate #TobaRolling

[revenge-of-the-shit]

Writing Chinese characters set within Western worlds

If you don’t want to read it on tumblr, go check this out on medium or go follow me on instagram at @annessarose_writes!

Alright. You know what. I’ve seen plenty of stereotypes in fiction (and in social media) that are so incredibly pervasive I’ve seen many Chinese people within the western world internalize it themselves. So here’s a rough guide on writing Chinese characters in an English-speaking Western setting, written by me, a Chinese Canadian woman.

If you’re here to say something racist fuck off. Otherwise, welcome! This is not a comprehensive guide by any means. This is merely a brief overview based on my own experiences. My experience (as someone in North America) will differ from someone living in, say, Europe or South America. I’m not representative of every Chinese person because everyone’s experience is unique. So here were are.

1. Our names

Chinese names are usually written as follows: [family name] [name]. Let’s take a Canadian historical figure as an example: 黃寬先. In Chinese, it’s pronounced “Wong Foon Sien.” On Canadian documents — which are written [First name] [Last name], he’d be called “Foon Sien Wong.” He went by “Foon Sien” for most of his life. That’s his full “first name.” Nobody would call him Foon because that’s just half of his name (unless given permission). It’d be like meeting a stranger called Alex and calling them “Al” right off the bat. Sure, they could go by Al, but you don’t know that.

For those of us living in the Western world, some of us have both a Chinese name and an English name. In these cases, our Chinese name becomes our middle name in English (e.g. a character could be called John Heen-Gwong Lee).

For some people who immigrated to the Western world but were born in China, their legal name would be their Chinese name. Some choose to keep that name. Some choose an English name as their “preferred” name but keep their Chinese name on legal documents. It varies.

2. Parents & Stereotypes

There’s two stereotypes which are so pervasive I see it being used over and over in jokes even within Chinese (and, to a larger extent, asian) communities:

The [abusive] tiger mom and the meek/absent dad

Both parents are unreasonably strict/abusive and they suck

I have yet to see any fiction stories with Chinese parents where they’re depicted as kind/loving/supportive/understanding (if you have recommendations — please do send them my way). Not all Chinese parents are tiger parents. Chinese parents — like all parents — are human. Good god. YES, they’re human! YES, they have flaws! YES, they are influenced by the culture they grew up in!

That isn’t to say there aren’t parents like those tropes. There are. I know this because I grew up in a predominantly Chinese community where I had many a friend’s parent who was like this. Parents who compare their kids to the best kid in class. Parents who force kids into private lessons and competitions that the kid despises because the parents think it’s for the best. Parents who have literally called their kid a disappointment because they didn’t get 100%.

But please, also consider: there’s parents who support their child’s goals and who listen. Not all parents force their kid into the stereotypical trifecta of lawyer/doctor/engineer — I know of a good number who support their child in choosing the path they want. There’s parents who make mistakes and learn and try their best to support their child. So please, for the love of god, if you write a Chinese character, don’t reduce their parents to stereotypes.

3. Language & Learning

When I first read The Son of Neptune by Rick Riordan, I was so excited to see a Chinese Canadian character in Frank Zhang. Finally, there was someone like me. Finally, there was representation in well-known western media.

While I do appreciate that RR added in Frank Zhang, it’s pretty obvious that he didn’t really know how to write a Chinese Canadian character. One of the most glaring examples: in The Son of Neptune, Frank reveals he can’t really read Chinese. In like, the next book (I think — it’s been a while since I read it), Frank is suddenly able to read Chinese because he “learned” it in two week’s time.

Nope. Nuh-uh. Learning Chinese is a pain, let me tell you. There’s thousands of different characters and it is something you need to devote a lot of time to learning (especially if you’re progressed past the best childhood years for learning a language). So if you’re writing about a Chinese character living in the western world, here’s what you need to know:

A character who was born and raised in the western world does not necessarily know how to read/write in Chinese.

If they were raised by their own family, the character would very likely know how to speak their own dialect. They’d be able to understand the language used in movies/TV and they sound like a native speaker, but they may not know how to use language outside of certain contexts (the term for this is heritage speaker).

They probably went to Chinese school. They probably hated it. Chinese school is usually universally hated and does not teach you jack shit other than a hatred for the place and a vague memory of learning how to read the language without actually retaining knowledge of what you learned.

Most of my friends who know how to read/write in Chinese learned from tutors, parents, or were born in China.

There’s two main types of written Chinese: Traditional (used by Cantonese speakers) and Simplified (used by Mandarin speakers).

There are MANY other dialects (which I don’t know much about). The most common ones are Mandarin (usually spoken by people from the mainland), then Cantonese (usually spoken by people from Hong Kong).

4. Fitting into the community

Usually, the story is one of two things: they’re the only Asian kid in the entire school, or they grew up in a predominantly East Asian community. Things to consider for both of these when you’re writing:

Growing up the only Asian kid

They’re “that Asian kid.” They’re different. They walk into a class and feel weird and out of place.

They bring food from home (usually ethnic cuisine) to school. Other classmates stare at it, make fun of it, demand what that strange food is.

“Where are you from?” “Here.” “No, like, where are you really from?”

“Your name is funny.”

People literally never getting the character’s name right.

And that horrible, horrible feeling: wishing that they were white so they could avoid all of this.

Growing up in a predominantly East Asian community

It’s not uncommon for Chinese cuisine to mix with other east Asian cuisines. For special occasions (or just for a casual night out), your character could very well go out to get some sushi, or go for some KBBQ, or get some Vietnamese noodles.

Screaming “AIYAA” at/with their friends unironically if they’re annoyed (I’ve done this a lot with Cantonese friends. Less so with Mandarin friends).

Slipping into Chinese for like, two words, during a mostly-English conversation to talk about food or some other topic that can’t be adequately conveyed in English.

Reading books by white authors and learning about white history and growing up thinking white names, white books, and white history is the norm and standard even though the community is surrounded by East Asian people.

When the character leaves this community, there’s a brief culture shock when they realize how sheltered they’ve been.

Things in common for both of these:

The character has grown up on ethnic cuisine. Yes, Chinese people do eat rice with many of our meals. Yes, boba (bubble) tea is extremely popular. No, rice isn’t the only thing we eat. No, not all Chinese people love boba (though as a Chinese person I admit this sounds sacrilegious to say…)

The character likely grew up watching film/TVthat originates from East Asia. It’s not uncommon to watch Studio Ghibli films. It’s not uncommon to watch Japanese or Korean shows with canto/mando dub (examples: Ultraman, Kamen Rider). If you want to see a classic Chinese film from Hong Kong that’s fucking hilarious, watch Kung Fu Hustle.

The character has felt or been told that they’re “too westernized to be Chinese, but too Chinese to fit into the western world.” They’re torn between the two.

5. General portrayal

It’s quite simple, really. We’re human. We’re regular people. We have regular hobbies like all people do. We’re good at some subjects and bad at others. We have likes and dislikes like all people do. So here’s a list of stereotypes you can avoid.

STEREOTYPES TO AVOID BECAUSE WE’RE REGULAR HUMANS AND WE DON’T FIT INTO A SINGLE COOKIE CUTTER SHAPE, DAMMIT.

The character is a maths whiz and perfect at all things STEM.

The character is a straight-A+ gifted/IB/AP student.

The character is the next coming of Mozart and is amazing at piano/violin.

The character’s free time is spent only studying.

The character is insanely good at martial arts.

The character is either meek and submissive or an explosive, dangerous force.

I’m not going to mention the other stereotypes. You know, those ones. The really obvious ones that make fun of and demonize (sometimes through multiple untruths) how we look and how we live our lives. You should know.

Of course, there are people who fit into one or more of these. That’s not the point. The point is: molding all Chinese characters to these stereotypes (which white media tends to do) is harmful and reductionist. We’re more than stereotypes.

—

6. Conclusion

We need more diversity in portrayal of Chinese characters. Reducing us into one-dimensional caricatures has done nothing but harm us — look at what’s happening now. This guide is by no means comprehensive, but I hope it has helped you by providing a quick overview.

If you want to accurately portray Chinese characters, do your research. Read Chinese fiction. Watch Chinese films/TV. Initiate a conversation with the community. Portray us accurately. Quit turning us into caricatures.

#non sw #writing #writing reference #reference #writing bipoc characters #Chinese representation #asian representation #asian characters #chinese characters #stop asian hate #chinese diaspora #chinese american #chinese canadian #writing guide #abuse tw #racism tw #long post #annessarose writes

[emo-and-confused]

Out of context things my Global Perspectives teacher has said:

Information: This was a 10th grade zoom class for the academy program at my public high school

“I know you’re all fans of K-pop, right?”

“You are not allowed to record. If I find out you are recording, I will find you, and I will destroy you.”

“Please ask a question, I’m so bored of talking.”

“I don't like listening to myself talk. My wife disagrees but-“

“It’s basically a “do you know how to read” quiz. so if you don’t know how to read, I don’t know how you got here.”

“Be prepared for a lot of dead jokes. Cause they’re fun. Cancer jokes are fun too. My dad died of cancer, so I guess I have the right to make them.”

“I have very little sympathy. If your grandma dies.. we’ll talk. If your grandma keeps dying, I’ll have to ask some questions.”

“I don’t text and drive, but I email and drive.”

“Do not copy me, I am not a lawyer.”

“I almost got killed so many times. I should've got killed, like legally. I still have both my hands which is surprising. so, I have so many stories of Saudi Arabia.”

“My most favorite child of mine, my dog.” (he has three human children)

[internet fluctuates] “Play the dinosaur game? What’s the dinosaur game?” (he learns to play the dinosaur game)

“Let me know if anything is going on. If your dad is currently dying of cancer, and you want more cancer jokes, please tell me.”

“I will drive to their house and cough on them and give them coronavirus.” “I will threaten you with biological abuse.”

“Have I told you my suicide Christian joke yet? No? Can I tell you guys my suicide Christian joke?”

“I don’t know my mom’s phone number. I don’t know my dad’s either.. but that’s for different reasons :)”

“Not the dirt on your shoes, the coronavirus in your lungs.”

“Speaking of addiction... nevermind I can’t tell you that yet.”

[to me] “You should not lie to yourself, I’m sorry that you do.”

“This is why you guys are so depressed, you guys don’t sleep.”

“You guys did great, give yourselves a pat on the back.... wow, only a few of us did that. The rest of you guys are losers.”

“I’m so white, I can’t roll my r’s, I’m sorry-“

“I just wanna get off the camera and go cry again.”

“Teah, Canadians, boring! Stop apologizing all the time! We get it, you like hockey!”

“Welch? Nobody cares about the Welch. They’re just smaller english people.”

“Don’t be stupid like me.”

“All of your teachers used to be stupid. Now some of them are less stupid”

“l don’t recommend making out with people with aids.” “Here’s a better suggestion, stop making out with people.” “You know who you should be making out with? Your spouse. Get married and then make out.” “You should not be making out with Jesus. That’s gross.”

“You know what else is dumb? The speed limit. Speed limits are dumb, yeah- you know what else? Tires! You don’t need them! They’re dumb! You don’t need oil changes! Yeah, that’s dumb! You know what else is dumb? Taxes! Screw the man!”

“No, the holy spirit will not get rid of aids” [pause] “Well—-“

“We can talk about pedophilia another day.”

“No wonder you all are addicts.”

“If you’ve been eating the same breakfast for the past 7 years, you might have a mental disorder.”

“If I’m ever on the show Naked and Afraid, please don’t watch, cause I'll be naked and afraid.”

“I know you’re not used to a grown man caring about you, cause you haven’t seen your dad in five years. It's okay. I wish he was around more often.”

“I got hit on at Busch Gardens and it was amazing.” “I haven’t been hit on in ten years.”

“If I ever get killed by the government, man, I want it to be a firing squad. That’s a badass way to go.”

“Do you guys wanna see me, in high school, as a Dr. Pepper can?” 

“We might not learn anything in this class but at least we have fun.”

“It is possible that I might have made some Dr. Pepper commercials. And it is possible that I might have made some Dr. Pepper music videos.” “Who says I'm not a Dr. Pepper shareholder? I have never made that claim.”

“Did I tell you about that time I waterboarded a kid? No? Ah, well that’s a story for later.”

“Yes, I do believe in Santa. I believe he is Satan.”

“I'm just trying to give you legal advice.. I am not a lawyer though, so don’t take my legal advice.”

“You didn’t go to sleep until 3am? I've been up since 3am! We swapped!”

“Murders have experience, I wouldn’t let them near my children.”

“Is anyone here a flat earther? I promise I won't make fun of you. Unless you’re {Con}.”

“I wouldn't let any of you near my children. The only one of you I would let watch my daughter is {Con}.” [Me, in chat: ‘why me??’] “Why? Because I feel like she could put you in your place. She's three and a half and has no filter. She would insult you to your face.”

“Welcome to my bedroom. I tried to say that as creepy as possible, I hope it worked.”

“[Con] have you killed anyone this morning?”

“Guys, I’m gonna announce my bias right now. I’m a round earther/”

(the class he says he’s quitting) [Me, in the chat: ‘who’s gonna call me out in the middle of class for no reason now :/’] “Who’s gonna call you out in the middle of class? uh... Molly! Your new job is to call {Con} out and tell them what a terrible person they are.”

“So yeah, I was almost possessed in Sri Lanka.”

“{Con}, stop. Just because you’re possessed now does not mean you can roll your eyes when I say I was almost possessed.”

“No, Kaine didn’t come into school. Kaine hasn’t left his room, in like, eight months.”

#out of context #school #high school #this man kept making fun of me for no reason smh #like it targeted me as the student to call out at random times #he genuinely cared about our mental health #and gave us mental health days #HOWEVER he was a white cishet male and was extremely privilaged so sometimes he would say things and there were a little off #and he would have no idea what he said was slightly abelist/sexist/etc #he was the teacher you would like at first and then he would keep talking and you would remember #oh yeah this dude has an insane amount of privilege and doesnt know it #high school is fuckin weird man

[peachyromanoff]

Drake, buddy, I don’t think this is what they meant when they said to put hot sauce on your eggs

As you may have noticed, most news stories nowadays tend to revolve around one… certain polarizing topic. Y’know, just that tiny lil disease that’s managed to infect most of the world—super insignificant, really. Barely noticeable, not life changing at all. I’m joking, of course. This disease—i.e. the Coronavirus, in case you somehow missed it—is very serious and should be viewed as such. That being said, if I see any of you acting reckless in public, I will not hesitate to tell your parents you planned on putting them in a retirement home as soon as you get the chance, just to make sure you get written out of the will. Am I joking? Mostly. Kinda. I don’t know, mess around and find out, I guess. Oh right, what was I saying? Ah, I was talking about the news, right. So, as I’m sure you know—probably due to the influx of kanye, or Ye, related articles lately—celebrity gossip is still all the rage, despite how deeply unimportant it may seem in the grand scheme of things. While I’ve mostly, keyword: mostly, drowned out some of the biggest stories out there—yes, I’m talking about the infamous Pete/Kim/Kanye/Julia drama—there are a few that have actually caught my eye. One in particular has to do with everyone’s favorite Canadian native and Degrassi Alumni—he also raps too, I guess—Aubrey Graham, professionally known as Drake.

Now, before we get into this story, let me fully disclose that this is just an alleged story, about an alleged encounter, so I’m not saying it actually happened—but, man, do I really hope it did. Alright, now that that’s out of the way, lets get into it.

So, the story starts as many celebrity encounters do. Allegedly, Drake was messaging back and forth with a model on instagram, and they seemed to really hit it off. This positive encounter led to them later meeting up with each other in real life, at a party. Things were still going well and seemingly starting to escalate, so the pair decided to head back to Drake’s hotel room together. Once there, they had a little bit of a smoke sesh, because they’re legal adults and I’m not their mother, which eventually led into… more adult affairs. I’m sure you’re aware of what I’m implying here, and if you’re not, then just pretend I’m talking about them playing Twister together so Tumblr doesn’t deactivate my account… again. Right so, moving forward, the duo decided to play an R-rated version of Twister, one of which Drake makes sure—more than once, it seems—is fully consensual. Fast forward, the game is done and Drake decided to remove of his… uh… protective gear by disposing of it into the hotel bathroom’s garbage can. After he left the bathroom, his nighttime companion then stated that she needed to use the restroom as well. Well, she did not end up actually using the restroom for its intended purpose, instead she decided to take the discarded protective gear out of the trashcan and squeeze the contents of it inside of her. Much to her shock—and probably her gynecologist’s dismay—she started to experience a burning sensation. Loudly, she alerted Drake of her pain, which led to him telling her that he had put—get this—hot sauce into the condom. Why? You may ask, reasonably so. Well, he allegedly stated that he seasoned it with hot sauce in order to kill the sperm. Which, I mean, okay. One child born out of wedlock is enough for him, I guess. Anyways, flash forward again, now the model is allegedly threatening to sue Drake. Good for her, I guess, but I don’t think a flimsy lawsuit is gonna make her ground level feel any less like the earth’s core; but to each their own.

Another thing I’d like to note about the story is the… unnecessary amount of detail we, the readers, are given. Tell me why, on God’s green earth, would I ever want to know what Drake is carrying in his banana hammock. Sure, thanks for giving us all the dirty deets about the encounter, but was the exact size necessary? How was she even sure her measurements were correct? Did she pull out a tape measure as soon as the pants dropped? Was it just a really good guess? Did Drake tell her himself? A little full of himself, if that’s the case, but I digress.

The model also told us about how the game of Twister went down, but those details are boring and frankly forgettable (Drake doesn’t like eye contact; darn you, social anxiety). The story then seemingly came to a head when Drake indirectly acknowledged it online. On Instagram, Drake posted two photos of himself, with a caption reading, “You can have your 15 minutes of fame…I’ll take the other 23 hours and 45 mins.” I mean, yeah, it’s a little cheesy, but good for him. Stand your ground, buddy. As of now, the story has yet to receive any updates, which is deeply unfortunate. Though, I’ll be sure to keep an eye out incase Drake and his partner in crime, a packet of hot sauce, manage to get themselves into anymore trouble.

#drake #kanye #kim kardashian #pete davidson #julia fox #writing #news #degrassi #justin bieber #(he’s here in spirit) #ariana grande #chris evans #(he’s not here in spirit he just wanted to be included) #nct #nct dream #hot sauce #graphic design is my passion

[the-golden-ghost]

Alternatively: 4, Jigen & Goemon.

I am going to do the other one you requested but the desire to write Soft Jigoe Shit was too high so here we go:

~

It was the third week after Lupin’s wedding, and Jigen was wrong. It had lasted.

“Well, they usually last longer than a month,” he admitted when Goemon confronted him about it. “Even Lupin doesn’t get bored that easily. I’d give it four months, tops.”

“Do you think she is really a descendant of the Duke of Milan?” Goemon asked.

“Probably not. Look, Lupin’s marriages all end the same way; badly. Either she’ll turn out to have only been after his money, or he’ll turn out to have only been after her money, or it’ll be a random whirlwind romance where they find out after three months that they actually can’t stand each other and they’ll part on bad terms.”

“How many times has he been married?”

“If he’s honest with me? This is his tenth. But I wouldn’t be shocked if there’s a couple more he’s not telling me about. They weren’t all legal, though,” Jigen leaned out over the balcony, watching the cars pass below with little interest. “Pity he and Fujiko decided to do this at the same time.” Fujiko had gotten engaged - and wed - shortly before Lupin had. On her part, she hadn’t invited any of them to the wedding, which Goemon had been angry about. Even if he knew it would have been bad taste to flaunt her lovers in front of her fiance, she still could have invited them as friends.

“There’ll be other times, with her,” Jigen said, noticing the look on Goemon’s face. “Come on. She goes through guys the way some women go through shoes. If not this one, then maybe the next one.”

“Maybe I won’t show up even if she does invite me,” Goemon said, and Jigen laughed.

It was dull, though, waiting for half their gang to hurry up and divorce. Goemon had gone on a retreat into the mountains and Jigen had moved into his little apartment, but now the two of them were back together and Lupin wasn’t showing any signs of following suit.

Jigen lit a cigarette and sat on the rail, both of which Goemon would have rathered he not do. “Pity the two of us can’t get married,” he muttered.

“Speak for yourself. I still intend to find a bride someday.” Goemon said.

“I meant to each other, stupid,” Jigen said with a grin. “Guess I’m not much of a bride, though, am I?”

Goemon, embarrassed that he hadn’t realized what Jigen was getting at, flushed and looked away. “You are not,” he admitted.

Jigen nodded. “Hell, imagine... well, we couldn’t do it legally, but,” he took a drag of his cigarette. “We could do it. There’s enough dives out there where you can get a fake certificate written up. It’d look like the real deal, close enough. I’ve seen Lupin do it plenty of times.”

Goemon’s first thought was to brush the idea off as ridiculous, until he realized there would be nothing legally binding about any of it. He wouldn’t even need to divorce Jigen, nor would his future wife need to know anything about this. Mostly it would be a way to tease the other two. Let them come back and find themselves out of the loop for a change. And once Goemon realized this, the more appealing the idea sounded. “Let’s do it.”

Jigen looked startled. “Are you serious?”

“I have never been more serious,” Goemon replied. “There is no one in the world I would rather have as my unlawfully wedded husband.”

“Not even Lupin?”

“Lupin’s not here. That is why I am serious.”

Jigen’s look of surprise slowly changed to excitement. “Well, then. Let’s do it!”

~

Five hours later, they were crammed into the back of a city bus, dressed in the finest clothes they’d been able to grab on such short notice, cackling at the sight of their marriage certificate.

“Saskatchewan!”

“Saskatchewan...”

“We’re legally married in the province of Saskatchewan!”

“Not even, this is not a legally binding document. And we are not from Saskatchewan!”

“We’ve never BEEN to Saskatchewan!”

“We’re never going to go to Saskatchewan!”

“Is there anything to steal in Saskatchewan?”

“Is there anything at all in Saskatchewan?”

“Trees? Moose?”

“We can go up there. And become lumberjacks.”

They started howling again, not caring who stared at them since there were only four people on the bus besides them anyway. “All right, Goemon; here’s the plan. We steal, just... a shitload of loot over the next year. Then we quit the business altogether, move up there, get us a log cabin and live off the land forever.”

“All right.”

“We can find you a waterfall to sit under, even. If there’s waterfalls in Saskatchewan. I don’t know if there are, but if there’s one, we’ll find it.”

“It will be too cold.”

Jigen snorted. “Don’t worry. I’ll keep you warm.” Then he kissed Goemon hard, pressing him close to the glass of the bus window, and he was right. He was warm.

~

Ten hours later.

The whole thing was supposed to be a joke, and it had felt like a joke when they ran down the sidewalk holding hands and bumping into people and street vendors, laughing. Or on the back of the bus, making dumb plans that would never happen but were fun in the moment. Or when they’d announced to a bar full of strangers that they were married men as of one hour ago and gotten ignored, but didn’t care because they were too lost in the moment. Or when Goemon had fireman-carried Jigen into the hotel room and tossed him onto the bed, or when they’d spent a half hour waging war against each other by using the bouquets of flowers they’d bought, turning the room into an explosion of flower petals.

But it hadn’t felt like a joke on the way back when Jigen, in his excitement, had caught Goemon’s hand and squeezed tight. Or when they’d fallen asleep curled up together on the couch, tired and half-drunk but warm and comfortable, and Goemon had dozed off to the sound of Jigen’s heart. Or now, at 2 in the morning, with the city lights keeping Goemon awake through the open curtains, the buzz of the liquor wearing off, and Jigen asleep beside him, holding on to him like even in sleep he couldn’t believe this was real. In this moment, it felt a little too real for words, and Goemon wanted the morning to come so they could brush it off, forget it.

It wasn’t as if they’d never shared a bed before. They’d done it a dozen or more times. Sometimes with Lupin, sometimes with Lupin and Fujiko, and other times, just the two of them, but it wasn’t new.

Goemon knew it should not have been any different than before. A fake certificate from a Canadian province and a few announcements in some late-night downtown bars didn’t make a marriage. They barely even made a date. Things had not changed between them. The document was forged, the ceremony rushed, and nothing - nothing about this was real.

The thing that nagged at Goemon was that part of him wanted it to be. And he knew what a stupid thing that was to want. He had such plans for himself - finding a bride, a young woman with the same values and traditions as him, and marrying her properly, legally, in his home country. Setting up a life with her. He could not - under any circumstances - spend the rest of his life married to a man ten years his senior, especially not a retired mob hitman with a drinking problem.

It just wouldn’t work, and Goemon knew it, even though he could bury his face into Jigen’s hair and pretend like they had a long and beautiful future together, they didn’t, and couldn’t.

But tonight they could. In the morning it would be gone, and they’d ride back to Lupin and taste death and burn bridges and cheat and steal and laugh and bleed until the moment of their permanent separation. But tonight they could have a taste of something different. Something warm, and as close to innocent as either of them were ever going to get.

So he shifted closer to Jigen, holding him like he would hold the man he married, if they were married for life. Jigen, always a light sleeper, opened his eyes, and Goemon thought that the way the city lights reflected in them were beautiful. And when he told him that, and watched Jigen smile, still half-asleep, Goemon thought that was beautiful, too.

#Lupin III #my writing #take a shot every time they say the word 'Saskatchewan' #also I don't know how in-character this actually is and I have to second guess myself about 87 times while writing it #I still don't know if I have a Grasp on the Lupin Characters yet but I'm doing my damndest #and I think the idea of them getting fake married is funny so that's what's going down #anyway do you think Lupin and Fujiko find out about this? You Decide

[realityhelixcreates]

Beta, Theta, and Me Chapter 10: Territorial

Chapters: 10/?

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Avengers (Movies) Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: Relationships: Loki x Reader (But not right now),Drug Use

Characters:  Loki(Marvel) Additional Tags:  A/B/O, Sorta, More Of An Exploration Of  Life And Self Expression Within An A/B/O Framework, Loki Does What He Wants, But Loki Does Not Actually Do What He Wants, Antagonistic Bosses,  Loki Has A Throne Now, But It’s Not What He Wanted

Summary: You learn the reality of not being alone in the universe

You hunkered down in your soft, fold-out futon couch, shaken by what you now knew.

They were invaders. Loki, Thor, all  the Asgardians, an invading force.

But they weren't invading this planet.

You didn't think you'd ever forget the blazing triumph in Loki's eyes, as he explained the plan. He might as well explain it to you. There was nothing you could do about it. There was nothing you would do about it. And Loki knew it.

Rain slammed into the glass like stones, flung by screaming wind. It had been pouring all day, even before you'd served Loki his breakfast.

“Did someone piss off your brother or what?” you joked. Loki swiftly grasped your hand before you could crush his pill for the morning.

“Yes, and I would have my mind clear when he comes to visit. I will bear the pain until afterwards.”

Thunder cracked the personable atmosphere of breakfast.

“You should retire to your rooms for a while.” Loki said. So you gathered up what was left of your meal and returned to your apartment. You had a nice little table in front of a window, where you sat with your orange juice and pancakes, watching the sheeting rain.

The sound of the Bifrost roared down louder than the rain. Thor had come by to discuss things with Loki several times now, you hiding out in your room each time. You weren't sure why you were never allowed to be seen-perhaps servants in Asgard were supposed to be invisible or something. Or perhaps Loki wasn't actually supposed to have you. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first time you were living somewhere illegally.

The two of them talked very loudly, almost shouting, but it didn't sound like a fight. It sounded more like enthusiasm, rising and falling, the foreign words and unfamiliar cadence. Thor stayed for several hours, keeping up their lively discussion, but you didn't once hear either of them laugh. Whatever their enthusiasm was about, it probably wasn't a cheerful thing.

You relaxed in your apartment, reading a battered old book while they hashed out whatever they were working on, making yourself a light lunch while the rain weakened and petered out. The Bifrost roared again, just as the sun struggled out of the clouds.

Not long after, you heard Loki calling for you, always as if he were right beside you. He was waiting at the table when you exited back out into his miniature kingdom, eyes bright with the exercise of thought. He waited patiently while you prepared fresh tea for him, and mixed it with his medicine, drinking it without complaint. Thor's Alpha scent hung around the place, somehow harsher than Loki's. You were tempted to dampen it with a scented spray, but you knew Loki didn't like them. 'Stinking, chemical concoctions' he called them.

You did chores around the penthouse, as he went over the contents of a notebook. You knew his medicine was taking effect when he suddenly started talking.

“How do you feel about this building?” he asked abruptly, shoving the notebook at you.

“How do I feel about it? Uh, well, let me see.” You took the notebook, full of runes and sketches. The sketch of the house Loki indicated appeared to you like a man-made hill, a cluster of little domes around a large dome, with no windows but several doors. It had a vintage science fiction kind of look, as if someone had designed a Hobbit hole for the far future.

“It's cute.” you said. “Looks like some kind of earth house?”

“Not quite.” he said, smug amusement coloring his voice. “Would you live in such a house?”

“Sure, I'd live in any kind of house. A house is a house, and I'm never gonna be picky about that. I do wonder about the inside lighting, since there's no windows.” “Oh, it would be lit by magic. Magic light it so easy to make that many forms of magic create light as a by-product! It would be bright as day on the inside. There could be no windows, because the structure would be partially underground, and the outside walls would be about nine feet thick.”

“Wow. I knew earthworks need thick walls, but that seems like kind of a lot.”

“But would you still live in such a home?”

“Well yeah. Still a house, after all. Look, I know you're high as a kite right now, but this is about something, isn't it? Is it what Thor was here to talk about?” “Insolent thing. I'm not that high. Am I? No, of course not. But yes, this is about our meeting this morning. Twice has my brother come bearing distressing news about the future of Asgard, and this time, we began planning. These houses are a part of it.”

“Is something wrong with Asgard? Are you guys gonna be okay?”

“Oh yes, we will be fine. I foresaw something like this happening, and my brother's pride is sorely bruised, but our people are in no danger. You see, the government of Canada set aside some land for Asgard to settle upon-a handful of islands off the coast of the larger island of Nova Scotia. This seemed quite generous at first, and quite in line with the kindliness that country is famed for. I could have told Thor that it would prove somehow false. If not humanity itself, then the governing bodies of humanity certainly are the least trustworthy things in this whole great galaxy.”

“What did they do?” you asked. “Are they trying to bilk you? Make you pay for it all? Force you into debt?”

“No, no. They gave us the land so that the native peoples they stole it from could never get it back. Settler's laws, or some such.”

“That's awful!” The disillusionment led straight to disgust, and no small amount of disappointment. Because Canada did seem so nice, and maybe it was just a form of American wish fulfillment to believe that Canada was somehow 'better' than the States. But realistically, both countries had been formed in the same way: European settlers sweeping from one coast to the other. And the only way it seemed that they knew how to do that was to smash their way through whoever was between the Here, and the There.

“Indeed.” Loki sneered. “Thor is enraged at the sheer ingratitude. Many times he has been involved in the protection of your backwater globe, and these fools seek to use him as a pawn. I may occasionally want to stab his face off, but he is still a god, and we are all of us above the petty greed and power games that humans play against one another.”

“What are you going to do?”

“It's very simple. We are going to secure the land, build a legal cage so tight that it cannot be taken away, make it ours completely, and without question. Then, when we have gathered the necessary supplies, we will turn the land over to the people it was stolen from, and Asgard will leave. We will invite them to live among us in the interim, and likely leave a small garrison behind to guard against Canadian invasion.”

“Ha!” you burst out. “Good! Fuck those guys! But where is Asgard going to go then? I can't think of anyplace that isn't already full of people. Except maybe Antarctica? It'd be pretty hard to live there though.”

“Asgard has the technology to make practically any rock a paradise.” Loki bragged. “But we will not be moving to Antarctica, no. We will not remain on Earth. No, Earth had it's chance, and chose betrayal. We will be moving to the planet you call Mars.”

“What? Mars? Like Mars, Mars?” you sat, shocked, the notebook in your lap. “You can't just...”

Loki silenced you with a thin, smug smile.

“Whyever not?” he asked. “Who lives there? What lives there? Nothing, and no one. We would not be pushing anybody out of their homelands, nor posing a danger to any ecosystem. There is nothing there but remote controlled toys. No one has claim over it. I know there is at least one fool who fancies himself a genius, and has convinced many that he owns the place, but how is he going to get there? In one of his constantly exploding vehicles? No, Earth has no power over Mars, and soon it will be ours. We are the ones who can make it a livable land. Humans simply don't have the technology or experience. Can you harness Bifrost energy to get the core and mantle moving again, to create a magnetic field? You do not. Can you live safely on the surface for long enough to get anything done? You cannot. In fact, for humans to be safe on Mars, you would have to hide behind around nine feet of Martian soil.”

“Nine-like the house? That design is for a Mars house?”

“Clever thing. Yes, it is for a Mars house. Part of a community partially above and partially below ground, connected by buried roadways. A city adapted to the planets unique characteristics. We will alter the landscape, reignite the magnetic field, cleanse the soil of radiation, perhaps use that as a secondary energy source for a while. The planet is rich in water: this whole system is so rich in resources that it would absolutely be under attack at all times if more people knew about it.

But you have us now. We know how to render empty planets useful. Once we have made Mars into our new Asgard, we will turn our eyes to the great potential of the one you call Venus.”

“You're gonna take Venus too?” you exclaimed.

“Take? Again, who owns it? No one. There is no one to take it from. Imagine thinking that just because you see something, just because you name it, that somehow means you own it. No one lives there, and there are no habitats to destroy, so why does this offend you so?”

You couldn't really answer. Everything he had said was true. And yet, you still somehow felt a sort of proprietary nebulous collective ownership over the planetary system that was your species only home.

“Do you feel entitled to the asteroids as well? The comets? The moons and atmospheres of the giant planets? The very dust of the stellar cloud? Your species once shared this backwater world with multiple other human species, but now that you are the only ones left, you've forgotten how to share with anyone.”

“Is it sharing? You can travel around better than we can. Will there be anything left by the time we're able to travel like you?”

He chuckled, the condescension like a thick layer of butter over bread.

“Oh, I understand now. You're so used to the overarching greed and cruelty of your own people, that you can't imagine that we could be any different. We aren't going to lock you little humans away from Mars, or Venus, or any other place. Indeed, why do you think we've been studying how thick a wall is needed for human safety on Mars? It is all but certain that humans and Asgardians will live side by side throughout this star system. You will join us sooner or later. It is inevitable. The instant the perceived challenge is issued, your desiccated space programs will flare back to life. You humans are incredibly competitive, though in a different way than Asgardians. We are more individual, but you drift towards teams. It will be interesting to see how the competition plays out.”

“You're looking forward to this?” you asked.

“I am counting on it.” he said. “Now, do you think that house would be big enough for you? It will be roughly three times the size of your current apartment, and partially underground. Would that bother you? Would you need more space?”

The notebook slipped to the floor. “You can't mean...” you whispered.

“Give it some thought. It won't be for a while yet, but I'm pretty sure it will be within your lifetime. Would you like to be the first human on Mars? Beat that so-called genius to the red planet? See us kickstart the world?”

It was a fantastic dream. Impossible. Completely impossible. But could you? “I-I don't know...”

“Think on it. But for now, I think this medicine is making me weary. I am losing track of time and thought. Take me to the window, and sit with me there.”

You did, making yourself comfortable on your special cushion, as he rambled about Asgardian building techniques, methods of energy storage, and how to contain oxygen in their hypothetical underground cities while working on building a sustainable atmosphere. He talked about Mars as if it were no more than a challenge, explaining all the resources that made the planet such a likely candidate for the transformation process. How they could alter the thin atmosphere with Thor's power to create ozone, split molecules to create oxygen, how to decontaminate irradiated soil, and even enrich it with naturally occurring resources. You didn't understand much of it, but the gist was that they had done this before, and only lacked the resources to build the tools they needed. As soon as they had that, there were no limits. According to Loki, it could all be done very fast.

And he was very fixated on the idea of you coming with him, seemed to have a very romanticized view of the human drive to explore. In some ways, he wasn't wrong. The thought of being the first human to travel to the red planet, to walk on its surface, to live there-it was thrilling. It was a dream humankind had harbored for a long time.

On the other hand, as far as you understood, Mars was kind of a shithole.

Yes, Loki claimed that his people could change that, prattling on about groves, and grasslands, and even tropics. He was also high. He could just as easily be talking nonsense.

Atmosphere notwithstanding, Mars was farther from the sun than Earth was. Wouldn't it always be colder? You could envision, after a lot of work and change, the planet hosting the kinds of things that grew in Siberia maybe. Lichens and short, scrubby grasses, possibly even conifers. Maybe seaweed, in the great seas and lakes he described the icecaps filling up.

But delicate tropical flowers, and big, soft fruits, and plants that needed three hundred days of strong sun and sweltering temperatures to thrive? No way. Better to leave the jungles to Venus.

Which was apparently part of the plan. The thinning of the atmosphere of Venus, would contribute to the thickening of the atmosphere of Mars. It involved even more technobabble that you couldn't grasp, but Loki was very sure about the viability of transferring resources throughout the solar system. From atmosphere, to water, to metals, to trace elements, Asgardians apparently knew how to do it all. It almost made you believe it.

Loki babbled like a bird all through dinner and the evening, and you were almost glad to be sent off the warm his bed. Your brain was exhausted, but he was as energetic as ever.

Stripped of your uniform, you snuggled into his luxurious bed, still trying to resolve the image of Loki-lover of opulent baths, rich clothing, and indulgent bedding-with that of an excited, daring, and rough living pioneer. You drifted off to a daydream of him, in a pith helmet and beige jodhpurs, standing majestically in a jeep that kicked up the Martian dust behind it...

                                                                               ******

...And awoke to Loki sniffing your hair.

He was pressed all alongside you, snuggled up with an arm thrown over your waist. And he was sniffing your hair.

He must have noticed a change in your breathing or physical pliancy, because he withdrew his arm immediately.

“Ah.” he whispered. “The jig is up, as they say.”

You scooted quickly away from him.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” you demanded.

“Forgive me.” he said, yawning. “You just seemed so peaceful. I thought it a shame to wake you.”

“Did you turn off my alarm?”

He had the grace to look mildly ashamed.

“That...might have happened.”

“And there was nothing you could do but try to cop a feel?”

“I prefer to think of it as a friendly cuddle.”

“Well don't! Don't think you can just do whatever you want with me!”

“I shan't, I promise. As your master, I promise, I will not again overstep the bounds of our agreement. As my servant, I ask your trust.”

“...Maybe tomorrow.”

Face burning fiercely, you exited the bed, and hurried for the door. Your clothing was on the other side of the bed-the other side of Loki. In the dark, he might or might not getting a good look at your underwear clad rear, depending on how well Asgardians could see in the dark, so you booked it out of his room, across the hall, and into yours before he could say anything.

You threw yourself onto your futon, huddled down in your nice new blankets, and shivered. Your trust? He asked for your trust? He asked you to leave everything you knew, your whole world, to walk the distant sands of Mars? Something you couldn't even safely do until the planet had been transformed? He dared to lure you into a false sense of security in his sweet-smelling bed, and then ask for your trust? How much of your life were you willing to give?

#betathetaandme

[sleepingpatterns]

“Should I use InDesign to lay out my books?” - A Passionate Guide

Ok, if you are like me, you recently stumbled upon @armoredsuperheavy​‘s brilliant blog about bookbinding and fanfiction, and now you are excited to throw yourself head-first into bookbinding.

This also means that you are about to invest a fair amount of time into figuring out how exactly to lay out books. What you end up getting comfortable with will most likely be what you end up using long term, so it is worthwhile giving it some thought. The question really comes down to this: who's name will you be cursing for the foreseeable future? Adobe? Or Microsoft?

Full disclosure: I only started using InDesign because I was forced to. I worked as an editor at a newspaper, and that was what we used. The beginning was hell. I won’t sugar coat it, it sucks. In the end it was worth it. Once you figure it out, InDesign’s potential far outstrips Microsoft Word (in my opinion).

That encouragement means very little when you open this treacherous program for the first time and see THIS:

“What?! I will literally give you $100 if you guess what all the buttons on the left are for. How the fuck do I make the margins disappear!?”

So, if using InDesign means figuring out what at least one third of the tools on the left are for, lets talk pros and cons.

Let’s get the cons out of the way.

It is expensive. Adobe is not fucking around. This puppy costs 20 bucks a month (Canadian) to RENT. If this is out of your price range, do you still have options? Yes. Do they range in legality? Also yes. I think I could potentially get in trouble for telling you to find your friendly neighborhood torrenting site and steal this software. I will say, outright, that no one should steal software ever. Got it? I would be very upset if someone were to message me for specifics. As you naturally wish to be law-abiding, there is also the quasi-legal option of repeating the 14-day free trial. My friend works at a professional print studio in Russia, and this is the tactic they use: every 14 days they uninstall all of the software from all of the computers, and reinstall it with a new trial. Every 14 days! At a professional operation! My friend hates working there.

It is not initially intuitive. I’ve covered this, but it bears repeating because it is a serious hurdle. Keep in mind, that with time, InDesign becomes more helpful than other software. Now when I use Word I find myself reaching for keyboard shortcuts automatically, and feeling bereft at the lack of my favorite tools. Nonetheless, expect a time commitment up front learning how to harness this glorious and confusing computer program.

It can run kinda slowly, depending on your computer. Up until two months ago, I had the world’s most precarious laptop. I bought it for $200 in 2015. It once took half an hour to restart. Inexplicably, when it got stressed, it would switch to Spanish. It was literally and figuratively falling apart. And yet, it ran InDesign. Granted, it worked slowly. If I asked it to process too many images at once it would panic (again with the Spanish), but for the most part, it worked. If you have a slow computer and are patient, then InDesign will probably work fine on your computer. If you are not willing to suffer, stick to Word.

You will also need Photoshop (sometimes). Part of what makes InDesign glorious is that it is professional software that is designed specifically to work with print and anything text-heavy. I love that about it. It even manages to do some handy things with images! But, inevitably, you will need to learn some Photoshop to punch up your graphics. I have, admittedly, only learned the bare minimum Photoshop in order to feed my InDesign addiction. It was a pain in the butt. For example, inexplicably, Adobe has not standardized keyboard shortcuts across the suite. As with InDesign, now that I’ve learned the tricks, I adore it. But you should go into this knowing that with Adobe, the fun never ends.

Printing signatures is the WORST. Adobe, please explain to me, in front of God and everyone, why the hell you would make this software specifically for laying out books etc. and not include a method of printing signatures?! I’m livid. This is absolutely where Word wins the day. It is almost worth using Word just to print the signatures so nicely and easily. I’m not kidding. Me—a person who has used InDesign professionally—almost wanted to switch software entirely just because of this. Hands down, InDesign’s biggest goof. Despite this crime against bookbinders everywhere, you have options. You can export your design to a PDF and literally print each signature separately (I am fucking livid) or you can complain enough to your friends that they offer to buy you a lovely program called BookletCreator for your birthday. It costs $20 bucks USD and it was worth every penny. However, Adobe, FOR THE AMOUNT THAT YOU CHARGE FOR YOUR PROGRAM, I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO PURCHASE ANY ADDITIONAL SOFTWARE IN ORDER TO PRINT MY BOOK. Did I mention that I am livid?!

But InDesign must be worth something, right?! Otherwise why would I be writing a long post encouraging people to use it? Let’s talk pros:

The horsepower on this baby will blow your mind. Forget what I just said about printing signatures; imagine using software that was literally made for this. You wanna do a thing? InDesign has got you. Are you a perfectionist? This software was designed by people as pedantic and obsessive as yourself. It gets you. Dream it, google how to do it, and InDesign will deliver. This is really the main reason to use InDesign; it is the professional standard for a reason.

There are so SO many resources available to help you learn. Almost everything I’ve learned about InDesign I learned from Google or YouTube. Honestly, if you have a question, I promise that other people have already asked and answered it. The advantage is that because this software is specifically for laying out books, there is lots of information available specifically about how to do what you want to do. (This may also be true for Word, but I’ll be honest, I only used Word for a book layout once, so I can’t say for certain either way.)

Once you figure it out, InDesign will give you back hours of your life. Things like master page spreads, clipping paths, tint, the eyedropper tool, and the one-hundred-percent adjustable text are just... lifesavers. My experience with Word is limited, so my frustration using it was probably due to my own ineptitude, but honestly, when putting together my thesis, the tears I cried trying to get page numbers to format correctly were some of the most bitter text-related tears I have ever shed. I can take care of the whole operation in InDesign in a matter of minutes. Hours. Of. My. Life. Saved.

This is an actual marketable skill. Ok, bear with me here. I have used InDesign for every single job I have had since I worked at the newspaper. That includes working as a bookkeeper and a kindergarten teacher. Hell, I even made my resume to get those jobs in InDesign. There is no job that I forsee in my future that doesn’t include some form of text-based design. Even when my work has absolutely nothing to do with layout (see: kindergarten teacher) I still found some way to use it. My previous boss was actually so thrilled about my InDesign skills that she had me run a 101 seminar for the other employees. (Did any of them end up using it? I suspect not. Did they look at me strangely for being so enthusiastic about design software? Absolutely.) I’ve even managed to use InDesign to branch out from freelance editing to take on design projects as well. In short: if you learn how to use InDesign, put in on your resume. You will be surprised at how much mileage you get out of it.

With Adobe, the fun never ends. I know I joked about it before, but really, I love seeing what this program has in store for me next. For example, thanks to bookbinding, I discovered that InDesign will do a lot of things that I had previously assumed were the domain of Word, such as spell check. I literally stumbled onto a measuring tool today that I wish existed irl to help me glue my covers together. Part of the beauty of this software being so intricate is that there is always something new you can do. I love learning how to harness a new feature, and then watch my design improve over time. Using this program you really get the feeling that the sky is the limit. Look, just the fact that I’ve now resorted to saccharine platitudes about computer software tells you that InDesign is remarkable. Considering that this program has made me suffer so significantly, I have either seen the face of God, or I have Stockholm syndrome. Take your pick.

TL;DR, at long last:

How complicated would you like to go? Either way, for bookbinding you’ve got to learn to use software in a new way.

Do you just want to get your book laid out reliably with little fuss? Word is for you! Are you interested in delving into the details? Do you have the patience of a saint? Try InDesign!

Both work. Both are good. But you can pry InDesign from my cold dead hands because I adore it.

#Honestly #No shame towards Word or anyone that uses it seriously #Like I said I have little experience actually using it for laying out books #But InDesign is very good. #Bookbinding #fic #fic binding #If people want I can start putting together tutorials about how to do all of this stuff #And all of y'all can learn from my mistakes and hopefully learn faster than I did. #Аня есть что нибудь здесь про тебя #заметишь? #InDesign

[disneyat34]

The Three Caballeros at 34

A review by Adam D. Jaspering

Mickey Mouse is, and always has been, the face of the Walt Disney Corporation. Perhaps it’s because of legacy or favoritism, because Donald Duck has often proven himself more popular. To expand on a quote from Walt Disney, it all started with a mouse, but a duck pays the bills. Never was this more apparent than in the 1940s.

As morbid as it seems, World War II was a great boon to Donald Duck’s popularity. Mickey Mouse represented an unflappable, upbeat everyman. He became popular during the Great Depression when people needed their morale lifted. Donald Duck was an angry fighter who got knocked down, and stood right back up, fists swinging. That sensibility was celebrated by many during the war. Seeing the influence he had, Walt Disney capitalized on his creation.

Donald was commissioned by many sources during World War II. The US Treasury, the United Way, and the Canadian Film Board all commissioned cartoons from Disney Studios. His likeness was merchandised in countless other places. Within months, Donald Duck was promoting war bonds and celebrating American resilience coast to coast.

Later, Donald joined the US Army, encouraging enlistment. As an act of patriotism, Disney produced seven of these shorts at cost for the armed forces. Why he opted for Donald to join the Army as opposed to the Navy, as is often suggested by his sailor outfit, is a mystery. Donald wasn’t the official face of the war effort, but not for lack of trying.

In 1944, three separate events lined up. First, World War II was still ongoing.  Second, Disney Studios was celebrating Donald’s tenth anniversary. Third, the follow-up to Saludos Amigos was nearing completion. It was time for another cinematic saga of comradery in the western hemisphere, this time featuring Donald Duck front and center.

Saludos Amigos was a rush job. Disney Studios churned it out for immediate financial returns. The writers and animators had unused ideas leftover. Some ideas were more dynamic and required money and time, not available in 1941. Now with a foot-hold on the Latin American film market, the studio was able to make a proper follow-up. That was The Three Caballeros.

The Three Caballeros uses the 10th anniversary of Donald Duck’s creation as a framing device. Throughout the film, Donald opens a multitude of gifts from friends and well-wishers. Each gift prompts or frames a new vignette. Like Saludos Amigos, the vignettes of The Three Caballeros were created to foster international goodwill between Latin America and the United States.

The first gift is a projector and film canister. The movie is The Cold-Blooded Penguin. It features a penguin named Pablo who dislikes living in Antarctica. Pablo hates the cold, and wishes to live in a tropical climate. One day, he pools his resources, and sets out on an ice floe for warmer weather.

Astute readers will notice the error immediately. What on Earth is a cartoon about a penguin doing in a film about Latin America?

It’s true, Pablo’s journey takes him around some of the coastal geographic features of South America’s west coast. These aren’t so much landmarks as name drops. We hear the narrator mention the Straits of Magellan, Cape Horn, Juan Fernandez Islands, Vina Del Mar, Lima, and the Galapagos Islands. But what’s depicted onscreen are rather nondescript landforms. These could be any straits, any coasts, and any islands.

The Cold-Blooded Penguin’s ties to South America are incredibly tenuous. Plainly, it does not belong as part of the film. So much so, it’s not even worth commenting on the animation or story. You could make the greatest rotisserie chicken in culinary history, but if you serve it atop an ice cream sundae, no one will care how the chicken tastes. 

The short shamelessly tries to mask itself as an extended cutaway from a larger feature called “Aves Raras,” or “Rare Birds.” The non-penguin half of this short does indeed focus on the indigenous fauna of South America. Somewhat farcically, but also with an informative nugget. This infotainment is what The Three Caballeros aspires to be, and achieves in certain quantities. 

Unfortunately, the filmmakers either get lazy or distracted. Strewn among the cultural aspects are nonsense and unsupportive jokes. Either the filmmakers were padding the film or afraid of losing the attention of a younger audience. The end result bogs down quality with unnecessary jetsam.

The highlight of the Rare Birds segment is the Aracuan Bird. This bird has a high-pitched, sped-up voice, and a warbled laugh. He has a screwball sense of humor, and an innate ability to antagonize all those who he comes into contact with. He has a bright red crest, a yellow beak, and oversized eyes. He debuted four years after another cartoon bird with alarmingly similar characteristics: Woody Woodpecker.

Woody Woodpecker first appeared in the 1940 short Knock Knock. Walter Lantz created the character, and licensed him to Universal Studios. The similarities between The Aracuan Bird and Woody cannot be ignored. I can find no information explaining this coincidence. There were no complaints filed, and no legal action by Lantz or Universal. It’s rather unlikely Disney’s animators resorted to plagiarism; we can only assume it was an unintentional, subconscious reproduction.

The Aracuan Bird appears here, and in two more brief scenes. He then disappears for the remainder of the film. One would think he would be a running gag, appearing regularly throughout the movie. Or at the very least, he would be a main feature in his own vignette, his other appearances being callbacks. He would certainly be more on-theme than The Cold-Blooded Penguin. 

The Aracuan Bird is an unpleasant reminder that The Three Caballeros was a pile of ideas leftover from Saludos Amigos. He is introduced, then subsequently forgotten. The movie was the production of different animators and writers, working independently. They each had their own ideas, and didn’t seek consultation. These ideas are threaded together as best as possible, but big gaps in style and substance exist.

The next vignette is The Flying Gauchito, set in the pampas of Uruguay. It is the story of a child, looking for the approval of the gauchos of his village. The boy goes on a hunting expedition, finding the rarest game of all: a winged donkey. 

The donkey is named ‘Burrito,’ the Spanish word ‘Little Donkey’ (which existed long before the popular Tex-Mex dish). Gauchito returns home with his newly acquired winged steed. Rather than show him off, Burrito is entered in a horse race. It’s one thing to show-off your luck. It’s another thing to demonstrate your worth.

What makes The Flying Gauchito special isn’t its story. Will and determination overcoming the established norms is a common moral. The true strength of the short is its utilization of an unreliable narrator. Gauchito’s journey is narrated by his older self, narrating from an omniscient standpoint in the future. It would be easy for him to tell the story accurately. Instead, he’s forgetful, indecisive, and admittedly unsure of specific details. 

This narrative style creates not only a humorous structure, but humorous accompanying animation. Whenever a detail is “corrected” or second-guessed, the corresponding imagery is swapped out. In quick succession, the characters onscreen are left helpless as their world is ad hoc corrected. They must endure a shifting landscape and environment before they can react accordingly. This gives them a sense of instability, like they’re wearing roller skates, or walking a tightrope. It’s an advanced narrative technique, and it’s executed well.

With two and a half shorts finished, Donald Duck moves onto his next present. Inside is his friend and Saludos Amigos costar Jose Carioca. Jose is just as jovial and passionate as ever, but now smoking a giant cigar shamelessly for all children to see. We’re a long way from the warnings of Pleasure Island.

Jose introduces Donald to the Brazilian city of Baia. In a combined mood of nostalgia and admiration, Jose begins a long musical serenade. As his memories and thoughts are manifest to reality, we are swept away in the romantic imagery. The pinks and purples of the city at sunset are wonderfully done.

The two avian friends find themselves at a celebration on the streets of Baia. They’re joined by singer and dancer Aurora Miranda, plus a small army of samba dancers. The interplay of cartoon and human is outdated by today’s standards, but to an audience in 1944, it must have seemed groundbreaking. The technique is used extensively throughout the remainder of The Three Caballeros, and to great effect. It’s a gimmick, but a gimmick employed and accomplished well.

Exiting the glory of Baia, Donald opens his next gift from a stranger in Mexico. The unfamiliarity is temporary. Inside the gift is the loud, ecstatic, pistol-packing Panchito Pistoles. This firebrand is so eager to meet both Donald and Jose, he declares the trio “The Three Caballeros.” Finally, forty minutes into the picture, well past the halfway mark, we meet the last of our title characters.

After a fiery song and dance number, Panchito introduces Donald to the piñata. Panchito identifies it as a Mexican Christmas tradition (The Three Caballeros was scheduled for a December release date). Until this point, Panchito has been a quite vocal and boisterous individual. Hearing him tell a reverent and humble tale of Christmas tradition displays his hidden depths. Panchito could have been a shallow and one-note character. Instead, we see him capable of many things.

Cracking open the piñata, Donald is treated to a tour of Mexico’s most popular sights. Panchito summons a serape, which flies like Aladdin’s magic carpet. The Three Caballeros visit the exotic locales of  Pátzcuaro, Veracruz, and Acapulco. 

Until this point, both Donald and Jose were nothing more than enthusiastic partygoers. They enjoyed the celebrations and sights of their destinations. And they never shied away from the pleasant company of a gorgeous woman. For whatever reason, upon visiting Mexico, something stirs in the mind of Donald. 

Going forwards, every woman Donald encounters is an object of lustful desire. Singing girls, dancing girls, sunbathing girls; Donald wants them all. Jose and Panchito do their best to subtly remind Donald he is a cartoon duck in a G-Rated movie, but Donald is driven by his id. 

It’s a common cartoon trope for a character to be so blindsided by a woman’s physical attraction, they lose control. From the works of pre-Hays Code Betty Boop shorts, to the then-contemporary Tex Avery, it was a well-established joke. Donald, however, is completely insatiable and unstoppable. It starts funny, gets ridiculous, and then turns downright disturbing. Donald Duck is insatiably in love with these Latin beauties, and cannot be tamed. It’s a running gag that runs far too long. Panchito shouldn’t have shown Donald a hot beach, he should have shown him a cold shower.

The movie ends in quite an interesting way. Instead of a traditional song and dance number celebrating Mexico, the remaining twenty minutes of film is a surreal, avant garde display. More than ‘Toccata and Fugue’ from Fantasia. More than ‘Pink Elephants on Parade’ from Dumbo. Things are odd, formless, wild, and baffling. And lots of fun.

The Three Caballeros’s primary problem is how unbalanced it is. Any ten minute stretch is vastly different from any other. But it is unbalanced in a linear fashion. As the movie progresses, it becomes more cohesive and more audacious. Things are always building towards the (literally) explosive climax.

It begins with one short that doesn’t belong in the film at all. It moves onto a second short that, while more appropriate, could easily be excised. Jose is introduced, giving the movie more structure and narrative harmony. With him, more advanced animation techniques are employed. Panchito is introduced, giving the film a solid shape and definition. Finally, we’re treated to a grand tour de force. Disney’s animators use every trick to deliver a mindboggling trip for the eyes and ears.

The Three Caballeros as a group existed as Disney second-stringers for many years. Donald Duck remained as popular as ever, but it was rare to see Jose or Panchito acknowledged by the studio. Early in the 21st century, the cult popularity of the film prompted a resurgence for the forgone trio.

The Three Caballeros are featured at the Mexican Pavilion of Epcot Center (despite only one of the three members being Mexican). Don Rosa wrote two sequels for the trio, published in comic form. They’ve appeared in Disney television shows, such as House of Mouse, and 2017′s DuckTales. They even star in their own series on Disney+, where they become globetrotting fantasy heroes.

The Three Caballeros expands on the ideas of its predecessor, Saludos Amigos. A multitude of animation techniques continues the celebration of harmony in the Americas. Music, laughter, and a love of exploration unite us all. While the end result is something of a mixed bag, the highs are demonstrably high. It will stimulate some viewers while outright confounding others. But in the end, the wild, surreal adventure is a voyage worth taking. Hasta luego.

Fantasia Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Pinocchio Bambi The Three Caballeros Dumbo Saludos Amigos

#The Three Caballeros #Walt Disney #Walt Disney Animation Studios #Disney #disney studios #Film Criticism #film analysis #review #movie review #Disney Canon

[orangenfrottee]

Hey ho there, feel free to ignore this and I hope I'm not bugging you as I awkwardly slide in here, but I must ask: if you had full creative control of the show, how would you run season 5? You can pick and choose whatever leaks you want to include.

Ah!!! Thank you for your ask <3 I might have spent a couple nights typing out my answer, but in short: I'd cherry pick old story arcs, bring back everyone I like and who doesn't run when they hear Riverdale's calling.

I'd definitely get some decent writers (I'm partial to Jane Espenson, but no idea if she'd be a good fit) and definitely some diversity. I might accidentally fire all men and then play up all their shitty recurring themes for fun as a weird inside joke between me and the show.

I think if they ever gave me creative control of the show it would swerf hard to the crazy and not leave that lane because honestly, i think that's what Riverdale does best.

So, where would I start...

Instead of giving season four a decent ending, I would start with an extra long pilot with the title 'previously on' where the best and most important bits of the teens' school lives is shown with a heavy focus on Jason and the Farm. Parallely, we get to see the lovestory of Chic and Charles. The episode ends with a few very short scenes of the prom where everyone's happy and pretty.

Then we'd start on the real season five. It's been seven years and our characters are older and more grown up.

The show would at first only present the present lifesbof our characters and the barest bones structure to keep as much a little mysterious as possible (but here I tell you what happened during timeskip, too).

Archie is often considered the main character, so let's start with him:

Archie went to the Army after school (though he didn't actually pass his exams and thus didn't graduate, Mr Honey was quite amused). On his most recent tour he met someone special: Eric, his new friend.

Archie was wounded in battle with a... giant mutated elephant with sharp teeth and hallucinogenic venom. Or something. He isn't really sure what happened, but he's got a huge new scar all over his torso. The abs stayed in tact, but oh his pride. During recovery he met new wheelchair user (and on occasion crutches) Eric who has trouble walking since his legs are misshapen/he only has one. Archie thinks Eric got maimed by the same elephant he was, but thinks it rude to ask.

For Eric I'm picturing Sabrina's Ambrose.

With his hurt pride, Archie can't stay with the military and decides to go back to Riverdale.

Eric doesn't have a place to go, so Archie invites him along.

They need a job and since Eric has a calendar full of sexy half naked firefighters AND since they both have abs, Archie decides that type of uniform is the perfect fit for them and trades his newly renovated and well running boxing gym against the old fire station Penelope Blossom owns. (Literally, they even meet at Pop's to exchange keys and sign papers Penelope brought that Archie doesn't even skim.)

The fire station is quite out of everything, but it has a huge pool Eric likes to swim in and a fire truck. To make ends meet Archie sells his sperm to the Greendale sperm bank.

Archie is of course in love with Eric but unfamiliar with the concept of bisexuality and struggles to identify his attraction for what it is. Eric is a foreigner to Riverdale (or is he?) and unfamiliar with the town's culture and quirks. Still, something going on in Sweetwater River seems to be related to him.

Archie and Eric share the Andrews' House - and in the house next door... live Gladys Jones and Polly Cooper!

After Jughead and Betty left for College Alice' horrid mom impulses settled on Jellybean who didn't stand back, grind her teeth and took it but instead broke Alice' teeth. Her and FP were not amused (though FP was also angry at Alice for being too strict). Alice moves out but stays as a journalist in town.

FP gets in trouble for being a brutal gang leader without a gang beating up criminals behind the boxing gym on tape. Not wanting to go to an illegal fighting club prison, he hides with Canadian Serpents behind the border. (Joaquin's identical twin brother and Ricky live there, too. They're happy there.)

Maybe he'd call once or twice with misleading wrong snake facts that have nothing to do with the current mystery of the episode but fit into perfectly by chance.

Jellybean was invited along, but she chose to stay because she thinks Riverdale is rad and the old Cooper House is luxurious as hell. Also, her mom came back to become the new Sheriff!

Nearly seven years in, Gladys still holds the position because no one legally qualified wants it and she manages to keep gang violence at an all time low for Riverdale. Plus, she and Mary Andrews are not exactly friends but able to work well together. When there's another serial killer running wild in town she has no problem with having another girlfriend of Mary who happens to be a skilled professional in the most relevant field take over for a bit. If needed, the Riverdale gangs are usually willing to add muscle to good causes, too.

Jellybean has left Riverdale for university and will only be present for holidays and breaks. She'd still be played by Trinity because I love her and honestly, real nineteen year olds look like fourteen year olds everywhere in the world. Also this gives the viewers 'Archie vision': he will always see his best friend's toddling baby sister in the young woman which makes her the only undatable (legal) female on this planet for him.

While attending Riverdale High she lead the Andrews Boxing Gym and made it the most successful gym in the area. It won't be a plot point in the show (apart from her being angry at Archie for just trading it against trash) but there will be framed newspaper articlesband the like in Gladys' house.

Around the time everyone graduated, Polly was released from Shady Grooves and is back to her old smart self - and really missing her babies! As Choni leave for whatever private college Blossom women have always gone to, Polly takes them and goes home - just to learn on the porch that not only did her mother sell her childhood home more than a year ago without anyone ever telling her, the college fund she never had gotten legal access to and planned to use for the twins is gone too and her sister left town without saying goodbye.

Gladys has always taken care of all the stray kids she found no matter how tight the budget was and now there's this young desolate mother with twin toddlers in front of her posh murder house she'd gotten for cheap and she has this new gig as sheriff. Of course, she takes them in.

They stay in Betty's old room at first, but they soon get to remodel the attic to give Polly her own room. At present, Dagwood has Polly/Chic/JB's old room and Juniper the one facing Archie's. (When Archie sees her in the room, he actually has a flashback once to when he and Betty used to be so young, but then Juniper turns her gead, stares at him really creepily and smiles weirdly. Archie will be somewhat scared from then onwards and be reminded of when everyone thought Polly might gave killed Jason. Juniper would murder.)

At first, Polly's a full time, stay at home mom, but once the kids are older, she starts working part-time: for Gladys.

It turns out they work amazing together. Gladys tends to jump to convenient conclusions and threatens violence way to freely. Also, she is intimidating as fuck.

Polly is everything she isn't: level headed (to a point, in comparison at least), brilliant at combining clues and steering people (remember how she infiltrated Thornhill and made Cheryl unknowingly assist in her snooping plans?). On top of that, she has these stepford smiles and all the ways to appear unthreatening drillend into her head. Honestly, she and Betty are quite alike. While Betty has the lockpicking skills and knows her way around cars, Polly used to be really into fashion (or something) and, with all her experiences at the Sisters, the Farm and Shady Groves, Polly knows psychology.

She started solving some of Gladys' cases at the breakfast table, but now she's officially a deputy or an advisor or something. They're essentially like FP and Jughead, just that Polly is an adult (and that she wouldn't be in a gang beating suspects up regularly).

(These characters would all be mostly in the background though.)

Veronica finally gained perspective on her relationship to her father and grew up. Hiram's cut out of her life for good. They won't ever interact. (In fact, Hiram either moved to New York or he had a minor traffic accident where he lost all of his memory for good and now lives as Ram Rod and works as a trainer at Penelope's newly acquired boxing gym. Everyone is confused about it but doesn't care to ask.)

Veronica is successful at whatever she's doing and doesn't plan on ever moving back to Riverdale, but maybe something is up at Pop's that requires her checking up on in person and she just happens to cross paths with Betty who is also just there for the weekend. And they haven't had quality time together for years, because it's so hard to stay in contact sometimes even with people you love so much you'd die to keep them safe.

If I could come up with something meaningful for them to catch up on emotionally, I'd have them sitting together in a booth at Pop's for a whole episode just talking (but I'm not that deep).

Veronica might be engaged, but we see it fall through without really getting to meet the guy. She mostly just talks to Betty about him on occasion but in a somewhat messed up way. Ultimately, she realises how she treats him in some regards like Hiram treated her and her mother. She wants to grow up further and not be like her father anymore. Since the fiance was only a trophy pawn, she breaks it off and concentrates on introspection/ maybe therapy for a bit.

Later that season her sister comes back and surprise: Hermosa embraced becoming Daddy.

(These would have to be restricted to two half episodes only, she definitely deserves story arcs that aren't about her dad.)

Careerwise: she has a couple businesses, maybe a restaurant chain or a franchise and she seems to collect startups. She reinvests a lot and has to travel quite a bit but can work remotely too.

Everyone seems to want FBI agent Betty and if I'd go that route I'd have her demask Charles as the fraude fake FBI who hires guns for hire and fake emergency teams while making up fantasy horror stories about serial killer genes to scare his biological family into killing each other that I wholeheartedly believe he is. But I also like Betty's interest in mechanics and would love for her to have a career in mechanical engineering. Maybe she switched majors at uni and now works for a company developing prosthetics. Maybe she tries to get Eric into joining a study. (I mean, prosthetic legs would help his work as a fire fighter...).

She's in town to visit Polly and the twins but after talking to Veronica she spontaneously stays in town. She can do her work remotely, really. The two of them move into a two bedroom 'shared bnb' (or whatever it was called in season two) and we finally get to see their friendship on screen.

Betty isn't in a relationship at the moment abd she's so into her work, she isn't looking for one either.

Jughead had broken up with Betty seven years ago and never really had a well working relationship after. He's grown obsessed with finding a way to recreate what he had with Betty.

Not in a totally creepy psycho way, he's simply not understanding that he might be sex positive and he had been in love with Betty, but he is ace and quite aro, too. It doesn't help, that he finds people sexually attractive on their online profiles just to be repulsed by the tought of even kissing them goodbye in person.

(I don't think tv is generally a fitting medium for this, but I guess he can narrate for himself and make it work.)

I guess he has to be an author. Obsessed as he is about finding love again (he wouldn't call it like that) he figures it had either been the location or the constant fear for his life. He chooses to return to Riverdale. He probably instantly moves with everything he owns to Riverdale (not that it's much beside a modern laptop, the typewriter and his camera).

Archie gives the great advice how Jughead is obviously still innlove with Betty, duh.

He of course runs into Betty some day, they end up investigating some random murder together and find themselves in familiar positions and kiss - but it just isn't there anymore. Jughead feels nothing and Betty isn't really into it either.

Veronica later points him in the direction of maybe not being allo (because she used to question herself as aro).

Funfact: Jughead would have failed graduation with Archie if Mr Honey didn't forge some records that weren't actually submitted from Stonewall (they claim all records were deleted during a power outage). Jughead knows and is deeply shamed.

Thornhill has been renovated! Toni is pregnant! Choni will be raising their kids (surprise, it's going to be twins!) in Cheryl's ancestral home. Choni are married and happy.

Toni has reopened the White Worm with Fangs somewhere at the Southside and yes, let's make her the official Serpent Queen. Let her work lots of social causes (remember toys for tots?), grey area rule bending for good and of course she works well with Gladys. I've seen talk about her being a social worker floating around and honestly, I think that works amazing. She's working the local cases (and a few unofficial ones) and I think she and Cheryl are registered foster parents. On occasion (like once) they'd be shown taking care of a random kid.

Cheryl used her College time to study two things: business and Riverdale town history. Remember how in season two she took so much pride in her ancestors because she believed them to be good people? She might be disillusioned but she is the Blossom heiress and her and Toni's as well as Jason's kids will one day inherit a better family legacy. She'll invest in Southside rebuilding projects, advocate for new town memorials, maybe rebrand some of the Blossom product lines. Something like that

She won't run for mayor yet, but she's definitely invested in (local) politics.

Of course the pregnancy was with artificial insemination, the donor was either an unsuspecting red head from the Greendale Sperm Bank or they use some of Jason's that has surly been saved to guarantee the Blossom line when everywhere was scary talk about sperm counts going down due to mobile phones.

In addition: the maple factories need worker bees! Cheryl has a few programs with Toni to get Serpents/random Riverdalians newly released from prison or just with bad luck into a steady job and a cushy appartement overlooking the ex prison on the Southside. Pop's is also participating. Ethel works as a landlady for said appartement complex.

Also, why not add a second Blossom-Topaz lovestory to underline this incest-adjacent show and bring back Toni's grandpa and set him up with Nana Blossom. XD

Then during this season's arc, the Blossom uncle's corpse will be found in the river and the mistery is whether the FBI will figure out who the corpse us and what happened or not.

I love Reggie. Since Varchie is unlikely thanks to Eric, him and Veronica rekindling their relationship would definitely be a possibility I'm into, but he also seems to have an interesting connection with Kevin and Fangs that could be built on.

He would definitely have a car he'd love very much and I think it would still be Bella.

I'm not sure about his career, but it wouldn't include his father's car dealership. Maybe he'd be a successful movie star just in town between movie shootings.

Kevin was doing something with musicals on Katy Keene, I think? Writing or directing? He was trying to nake it big, but some plans fell through. Now he's back in Riverdale. Luckily, they are just about to open Riverdale's first theater in the relatively newly built but forever closed prison. Next to the Southside Theater the complex holds a mall and the White Worm.

Fangs works full time as the manager of the WW that he co-owns with Toni. He meets Kevin again once he's back in town.

Sweet-Pea somehow ended up as a junior doctor at the Riverdale hospital. He spends all of his scarce free time at the WW.

Some of the background Pretty Poisons officially work for the police now. Different than Gladys, they are actually ccccc for the positions they hold.

Peaches works as a manager for one of Cheryl's companies. She's happily married and has a kid (or something).

How long in prison do you get in the US for standing in as the head figure of a crazy pen and paper cult that has literal murders committed in his name? As a blond white dude probably just parole? So honestly, once they actually bring his case to court (and they have nothing against him because anyone could have been under the mask at any one time and people know of different gargoyle kings) he's released of all charges. No one in Riverdale actually knows though since his case took forever, Bughead had already left Riverdale and Alice didn't step up to follow the case. No one wrote about it, so no one knows. They just assume that of course the guy will be locked away forever, he's guilty.

In reality, he and Charles have bought a house somewhere in a different street of Riverdale where they aren't quite known and have adopted a couple kids.

Charles meets Alice regularly for lunch and she thinks he's this workaholic FBI agent only living for solving crime. They play a long con game I don't know the goal of.

(They have been behind the tapes even if that storyline gets totally ignored. They pretend FP being in exile is their doing, but the tape responsible was just a random security camera in the area.)

Josie's plans in New York sadly fell through (I haven't seen any Katy Keene but I want her back)

Lot's of bonding scenes with her brother Kevin who's also back in town. The two share a flat and on occasion burst into song together. Since I've already invented the Southside Theater, maybe she'd find a job there, too.

Val and Melody stayed in Riverdale aftee highschool and made careers in town for themselves. Maybe Melody at city hall and Val as a marketing specialist at the farm, Riverdale's most outstanding new grocery mart. Half of all Riverdalians don't get the controversy of the name, the others either think it's brilliant or tasteless. (Kevin for example has repressed the nemories so gard, he doesn't get it. Josie is very protective and angry at Val for working there.) The store belongs to the eccentric redhaired Eva Everafter or whatever pseudonym Evelyn can come up with to thinly hide her identity behind.

Somewhere in it I'd throw in a few lines vaguely referencing older happenings like "I still can't drink tap water" and the very first time Veronica sees Archie again after seven years she identifies him through his ab muscles.

So in short: Archie would be very dumb, everyone else is just there.

Also: Pop's would serve 50% vegan burgers and milkshakes so I could dig in with gusto.

#riverdale speculation #riverdale fanfiction #riverdale #asks #arsenicpanda #fun #my writing #i guess