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nerdy-stilinski · 1 year

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A Comprehensive Bitch-Fest of the Teen Wolf Movie

Alright guys, as promised, here is the comprehensive text post of the Teen Wolf Movie.

Under this cut will contain a pretty extensive plot (for those of us who don’t want to watch the movie). I’m gonna do another post under this one with my personal thoughts, and some fun little bones to pick with Mr. Davis surrounding canon (or lack thereof, as it were) and uh. Plot decisions all around.

Most importantly, though, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! If you haven’t seen the movie, and you don’t want spoilers, PLEASE DO NOT LOOK UNDER THE CUT!

I’m sure there won’t be much anyone hasn’t seen, yet, but I digress.

⚠️HERE BE SPOILERS!⚠️

PLOT

We open with Liam and Hikari (the new kitsune) at some sort of restaurant in what appears to be rural Japan.

Somebody, who we later learn is Harris (and tbh, you would pick up on it if you paid any attention at ALL in seasons 1-3. I literally wrote IS THAT HARRIS????? WHAT THE FUCK the moment i saw him.), comes in looking for the triskelion container that the nogitsune is trapped in. He puts an Argent round on the counter, which I still cannot fathom why, because it’s never addressed.

Naturally, a scuffle occurs, Harris shoots Liam and Hikari, and he says something about how he wants revenge on Beacon Hills before he opens the box. A firefly flies out, you get the gist.

The movie cuts to LA, and shows a building in the process of collapsing. Deaton is out front, talking to a firefighter about how he’s called someone they call “the Alpha” to rescue a girl and her dog from the building.

Yep, you guessed it, folks. Scott McCall runs an animal shelter in LA next to Deaton’s new veterinary practice.

Scott obviously goes in the building, which partially collapses on him, but flashes his eyes at the dog, and saves the girl and the dog when the building collapses around them.

The main credits roll, opening the movie. It is evident upon opening credits that Scott, Allison, Lydia, and Malia are going to be the main characters. Kudos, though. The credits were cool.

We cut to Scott’s animal shelter (or Deaton’s vet hospital? unclear). Scott and Deaton have a discussion where Deaton has to explain the word “wistful” to a 30-year-old Scott and Scott repeats it like he’s studying for the SATs. I’m all for nostalgia but uh. That one icked me out. Anyways, Scott goes to lock up, and then sees a vision of Allison, reenacting the first night he met her when she hit the dog and took it to the vet. He shakes it off, but hears the dogs barking in the back , and he goes to investigate.

Surprise, it’s Argent pointing a gun at Scott. It freaks Scott out, but they bro hug it out, like men. He’s come back to see Scott because he’s been seeing Allison too, in these weird dreams and visions.

Argent has the katana the oni used to kill Allison, and is convinced they need to take it to Beacon Hills to put her to rest or something?

Scott, obviously not noticing that the vibes are Rancid, agrees, and they decide to head back to BH, which they both haven’t been back to in a while, it seems like.

Cut scene to Lydia, giving some sort of presentation and walking around a very high-end company of some sort. We find out that Lydia, instead of actually putting information in the booklets she handed out to the tour, has written Allison over and over again. (it’s also implied that the person they use as a plot device to introduce this was or is, in some way, romantically involved with Lydia).

Lydia runs to her office, where she has one of her banshee visions, and writes a ton of stuff on various pieces of paper in a pattern we can’t yet discern. She’s getting flashbacks of Allison the entire time.

Cut scene. Eli Hale (i squealed. im not above that. that’s derek’s boy, guys) is breaking into what appears to be some kind of impound lot. He hotwires what is apparent to us is Stiles’s Jeep.

Eli busts out of the chain link fencing, and is hauling ass and driving down a very recognizable Beacon Hills road. He flies by a parked Sheriff’s Department patrol vehicle, and we see it’s driven by Parrish.

Cut to what appears to be the Preserve. Mason, a deputy (more on that later. i hate it) walks over to the Sheriff, and asks if Parrish should deal with their consultant’s issue. It is clear they are talking about Eli, and the Sheriff says he’ll handle it.

Derek walks out of the forest (notes: DERKE. COMING OUT OF THE WOODS. SDJHFKDHSGKJHDSGH. DEREK. DEREK.) which has clearly been burned, and informs the Sheriff that the arsonist used chemical accelerant. He then tells the Sheriff that “we should be calling your son” to which the Sheriff replies “he has his own fires to put out.” This is one of MAYBE 5 Stiles mentions in the movie.

The Sheriff asks Derek why he keeps stealing the Jeep, to which Derek replies, “because he knows I hate it.” (your honor. that’s gay.)

Cut to Eli still driving, and the Jeep’s tires go flat. He’s ambushed by the Sheriff, Parrish, and his father. Derek tells him they’ll talk about it later.

Cut to the cemetery Allison was buried at. Scott’s there, and he goes to her grave. The cemetery is overgrown, uncared for. Lydia pulls up, and Scott thanks her for getting there so fast, but she just gives him a big hug.

They decide that they need to do something about this Allison thing, too. Scott repeatedly punches Allison’s marker, until it cracks.

Cut to the McCall’s. Scott, Lydia, and Argent are around the island, where the katana in its’ case is sitting. Argent asks Lydia what her drawings mean, and she says she has no idea. She hasn’t used her banshee powers in a while and is out of practice. When someone asks why, and she’s silent, Jackson walks in, saying “Stiles. It obviously has something to do with Stiles”

Lydia called Jackson in from London to help, and Jackson states that Ethan doesn’t know he’s there, because he doesn’t want anything to do with BH.

Jackson promptly starts putting Lydia’s papers together like a puzzle, which, surprise surprise, is in the shape of the nemeton, with the word “BARDO” written boldly in the middle (a refresher: bardo is the space between death and rebirth, as believed by Tibetan Buddhism)

Cut to Derek’s house, where he’s pulling up to (in the ugliest tan vehicle, a Nissan Xterra if my eyes don’t deceive me. bring back the FJ. this is cursed). He and Eli go into the house, and when Derek goes to hang up the keys, he promptly rips the hook off the wall.

He scolds Eli for breaking the law, yet again, to which Eli responds, “oh, because you never broke the law?” (good comeback, kiddo.) Derek then asks Eli if this is about “the other thing” and we learn that Eli still can’t shift, despite being 15. Derek insists that he can teach Eli, and Eli asks, “what if I’m the first hale to not turn into a werewolf?”

Derek tells Eli that it might make life easier, and when Eli asks “my life, or yours?”, Derek doesn’t respond. Eli runs to his room, and Derek mutters, in the way a tired parent would, “definitely mine.”

We cut to where Parrish is driving the Jeep back to the lot, and he drives by the building where the lot is housed, emblazoned, “Hale Auto.” (notes: ITS HALE AUTO. DEREK RUNS AN AUTO SHOP. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP ETC. OHHHHH MY GOD)

Parrish walks into the shop, into the office, and Malia enters, butt-ass naked, and ambushes Parrish with a kiss. (again. more on this later. because absolutely not). they have sex (off screen obvi this is still teen wolf) and they have a conversation that makes it evident that Malia wants them to remain friends with benefits, and Parrish wants a relationship.

Cut back to Derek’s house. He knocks on Eli’s door, and asks him if he wants to practice lacrosse before his game (it was established earlier that Eli is pretty bad at lacrosse. it’s giving Stiles but more on that later)

Eli doesn’t answer, so Derek opens the door, and it cuts to the open window, obvious Eli has run away. (why didn’t he hear that? not sure. whatever.)

Cut back to the Preserve. Scott and Lydia pull up in Scott’s red truck to one of the gates, Malia standing there waiting for them. It’s obvious Scott hasn’t seen Malia since they broke up off-screen, because he’s weird about it. Lydia tells Malia she missed her while hugging her, and Malia says the same thing. Lydia replies “no you didnt” and Malia says “I wanted to.” that one kinda. it kinda got me idk.

Scott and Lydia have asked Malia to help them find the nemeton. They have the katana with them.

Cut back to... somewhere? An enclosed space, of some kind. Might be the weird Argent batcave. Anyways. Deaton and Argent are there, and Deaton is grilling Argent with riddles, which Argent answers easily, but with increasing agitation. Eventually, Argent snaps, and snarls at Deaton, face mutating to look similar to the oni. Deaton sends mountain ash into Argent’s throat, and a firelfy is forced out. It becomes evident to everyone at this point that the nogitsune is back, at least to everyone but Scott, Malia, and Lydia. ffs.

Cut back to Scott, Malia, and Lydia. Malia is sending them in circles looking for the nemeton, and it’s obvious she has no idea where it is. Scott yanks Eli Hale from behind a tree (very reminiscent of Scott in s1e1), and Eli’s been following them. He divests that sometimes he sleepwalks to the nemeton. Super normal. normal kid stuff.

Eli leads them to the nemeton, and they immediately try to get rid of him. Eli tells them they’ll tell his dad they’re here, to which they IMMEDIATELY (ie Scott) say “it’s kind of personal” which, from Derek Hale, is really fucking rich. but again. later. it’s pretty clear they’re excluding him because he might actually have, i dunno, an objective opinion. god. sorry. fuck this.

Lydia gets the sword in the nemeton and the nemeton absorbs it. not to be that guy but this is obviously a bad idea and we all knew it. (note: i wanna know why we didn’t instantly think that this is a bad idea this is so obviously a bad idea)

They all turn to leave, and at their backs, the nemeton begins to emit a light blue glow. they turn, and find Allison naked on the stump. Scott stares, and they’re all like “how is she alive??” like god guys

They drive Allison to the hospital, where Melissa is the first person to go “why are you holding a girl that looks exactly like Allison” like a normal person. Melissa gets her set up in a bed, yknow the drill.

Cut back to the nemeton, which is glowing and spewing fireflies like it’s going out of style. The nogitsune appears on top of it, manifesting out of smoke, and says “chaos! pain! strife” in his campy little way.

Cut to Beacon Hills High, where the lacrosse team is filing in and coach is giving one of his goofy ass speeches. he was probably the only genuine nostalgia in this movie that I enjoyed.

Eli drops his crosse as he walks in and runs smack into the Sheriff, who’s standing right in front of the stairwell. Derek is actually in the stairwell, lurking in what I would describe as classic Derek fashion. Derek tells him he’s there to watch him play, and when Eli tells him he’ll probably sit on the bench, Derek tells him he’s gonna talk to coach about that. Eli protests, but Derek calls out to coach, and the Sheriff blocks Eli from running after him.

Sheriff tells Eli that he’s not really here to watch him play -- he’s here to provide support for Derek and his delinquent son. He then threatens to arrest Eli, have him tried as an adult, and put him in a state penitentiary for 90 days if he steals the Jeep again. Eli, looking nervous, asks if his dad put him up to this. The Sheriff says maybe, but asserts that he’d do it.

Cut to Derek in Coach’s office, and asking for more playing time for Eli. Coach negotiates four minutes, and only if they’re winning. Which is very Coach of him.

Cut back to the hospital, where Melissa, Scott, Malia, and Lydia are contemplating if Allison is going to wake up, or if she’s “normal.” Melissa is the one who asserts that we don’t know if this is the real Allison.

When they look back, Allison is gone from her bed. She’s obviously going through it when we see her -- getting flashbacks from when she was actively trying to kill the werewolves, hearing Kate, Victoria, etc in her ears, and this is obviously the nogitsune.

Allison, once they find her, is immediately combative, and trying to escape. She kicks everyone’s ass, including Scott’s, who she cuts across the cheek, and he heals, exposing himself as a werewolf. She only remembers Derek as the alpha, though, and wants to kill him -- she’s after the alpha. So she bolts, leaving them all behind. She runs into Deaton and Argent, who enter the hospital, and she runs from him, which is devastating for me even as somebody who is not an Argent girlie.

Cut to the Sheriff’s Department, where Mason tells the Sheriff that they have another problem. They’ve caught pictures of the guy in a dark, heavy coat with a hood (it’s Harris. We know it’s Harris) and he’s the one who’s been lighting the forest on fire. The Sheriff orders Mason with Parrish, and a new deputy with him, to the forest to investigate. This leaves one deputy alone in the department. I’m sure we see where this is going.

The deputy hears a noise in the cells, grabs his gun, and moves that way. The nogitsune is in the cell, and he tells the deputy he’s a kitsune who never knew he was a kitsune. He steals the deputy’s tails “to summon other bodies” which is about as frightening as it sounds.

Cut to the Argent’s batcave, where Allison is currently arming herself with a crossbow, arrows, daggers, and a longbow. The nogitsune is whispering her name, and she goes, armed, into one of the weird side pipes, where the nogitsune is standing. The nogitsune tells Allison it’s her friend, she doesn’t believe him right away, so it starts impersonating Victoria. The nogitsune is convincing her to get revenge on the people that stopped it, and its plan is to have the betas killed before the alpha. Allison just doesn’t know who the alpha is, obviously. There’s mention of the divine move, again, yknow.

Back to the BHHS locker rooms, where Derek is carrying Eli into the locker room because he twisted his ankle. Eli isn’t healing because he can’t shift, or whatever. Derek tries to encourage him to shift, and this is when Allison sneaks into the locker room, crossbow and all, and immediately starts trying to kill Derek.

Derek reacts on autopilot, and starts fighting Allison, telling Eli to run. He slams Alison against the lockers, wolfed out, and Allison notices that his eyes are blue. Derek obviously recognizes Allison and falters, but manages to run out of the locker room door. While he runs out, he gets shot in the neck, and he is immediately gushing blood, lying on the ground and crawling away from Allison, who moves towards him purposefully.

Liam shows up right on time to try and save Derek, along with Hikari, Scott, and Malia. Allison has left BHHS. The whole time Derek is bleeding he’s begging them to find Eli, make sure he’s safe, he’s gone to the shop. Scott tells Derek to hang in there, but Derek passes out. We’re unsure if he’s alive or dead (read: i thought he was dead. i was sobbing)

Cut to the scene of the arson with the Sheriff, Parrish, and Mason. The Sheriff recognizes the noise that precedes the oni, and immediately draws his gun. The oni appear, and immediately start fighting the Sheriff and deputies.

Cut to Scott’s truck -- Derek is still very much alive. But they can’t find Eli, and they’re afraid because he can’t run.

Back to the Preserve with the deputies. Mason is immediately cut down by an oni, vanishing into smoke. It looks like the Sheriff is going to get cut, but Parrish catches his blade with a flaming hand.

They’re carrying Derek into Melissa’s; he’s still bleeding from his neck, but keeps repeating “you have to find Eli.” At this point, Peter appears from god knows where holding a blowtorch? Because they mentioned they needed to cauterize Derek’s wound and people just. Have those. love you pete. Derek cries out “no!” repeatedly as Peter blowtorches his wound (spoiler alert: i cried like a little bitch again.)

Scott goes looking for Lydia to fix this little clusterfuck we have ourselves in, and before he leaves, Melissa asks Scott if there’s any chance that this is really Allison (essentially encouraging him to give her a chance)

Cut back to Eli at Hale auto. He’s driving Derek’s horrible car to fill it up, and the gas isn’t pumping well. It’s pouring rain, he’s nervous, and naturally Allison comes in hauling ass. She hits his car with hers, sending it into the pump, gasoline still pumping onto the ground. Eli manages to get into Hale Auto with his key.

Cut to the Sheriff’s Department, where Lydia, Jackson, Hikari, and Liam are in the Sheriff’s office. They’re all looking for clues. like. scooby doo.

And we’re back to Melissa’s! Where everyone (Melissa, Argent, Deaton, and Peter) has agreed that Allison is a replica meant to trick everyone.

And back to Hale’s Auto! So much happening sorry guys. Eli is limping through the shop and the cars in repair, eventually sliding down against one. Allison is also lurking through the shop, weapons at the ready. Eli slips around, and grabs a wrench. (note: okay eli be smart about this you dumbass 15 year old) And instead of being smart, he lunges at her with a wrench and promptly gets his ass beat.

Fortunately enough for everyone, because Derek Hale is down like Jeff Davis is so fond of, Scott shows up to save the day. They run out of the shop, and back by the impounded cars. Scott gives Eli the werewolf pep talk, naturally, because Eli doesn’t have a father already (sorry guys im so bitter), and he roars at Eli. Eli’s eyes flash gold, and he heals. Now they can run. They run through the forest, like they do in teen wolf, and Scott stops and tells Eli he’s gonna have to run. His hand is all gross where Allison cut him because wolfsbane, and he thinks he’s gonna try and talk Allison down.

Eli says “my dad told me he almost had to have his arm cut off once because of wolfsbane.” Scott replies with, “Eli, go find your dad. I think I might need his help.” (note: oh NOW you need his help scott) Eli runs off, Scott’s facing off Allison.

Back at the Sheriff’s board, and they’ve figured out that the arsonist is the same guy who was at Hikari and Liam’s place. Cool.

Okay we’re back to Eli, who is running in the road and almost gets hit by somebody. That somebody is the Sheriff. Nice, Noah.

Melissa, Argent, and Peter are at the crime scene (ie Hale Auto). Peter and Argent are going through the crime scene, deducing what’s going on. Peter states that Allison is basically in homicidal rage, which Argent states proves that’s not his daughter. Peter says they went into the woods, so they all go looking for Allison and Scott.

We’re at Derek’s house now -- Derek and Eli get a reunion hug, the Sheriff comes in, and Liam and Hikari are there, too. The oni are now also in the hall of Derek’s house. Great. Hikari fights them first, doing a great job - and she’s been run through and has evaporated. The same thing happens to Liam, leaving Deaton, the Sheriff, Eli, and Derek fighting the Oni. The Sheriff goes first, followed by Deaton. Eli watches Derek get run through, and right before he evaporates, Derek says “remember who you are” (it’s giving mufasa but tell that to my tears).

Cut back to the Preserve, where Scott is arguing with Allison to not try to kill everyone? I’m not gonna lie this was a broken record.

And we’re back to the Hale’s, where Malia and Eli are running. Malia tells Eli to run, but Eli decides that now is a good time to growl and attack the Oni. He gets evaporated into smoke the same way as the others, and Malia manages to get rid of the oni by pulling tarp off the window and bathing them in sunlight.

Scott tells Allison that she can get him if that’s what they need to talk, and STABS HIMSELF BY GRABBING ALLISON’S ARM AND SENDING WOLFSBANE RIGHT INTO HIS GUT.

Jackson and Lydia have decided to go to the site of the arson, where they’re trying to figure out what the purpose was, etc. (notes i made: jackson and lydia cannot make up for stiles stilinski)

Peter, Melissa, and Argent have made it to where Allison stabbed Scott (that overlook over BH), and Peter sniffs the ground, declaring it’s a ton of blood there, and that they need to find Scott within 6-8 hours so he doesn’t die.

Alright, Malia and Parrish are looking for silver weapons to defeat the oni and decidedly not talking about the fact that they’re friends with benefits. this was unnecessary.

Jackson and Lydia are back at the arson site, and they’ve figured out that the arsonist (harris) is trying to create mountain ash. the trees he’s burning are rowan, which turn into mountain ash when burnt.

Meanwhile, Scott is trying to convince Allison that she wants him alive. He reminds Allison that her family’s motto was changed by her -- we protect those who cannot protect themselves, instead of “we hunt those who hunt us.” She promptly like, kicks Scott over. Scott, cmon, man.

The nogitsune comes back, to try and convince Allison to kill Scott.

We flash to some sort of shadow dimension illusion, where everyone who was “killed” by the oni is all tied up and decidedly not dead, fortunately. However, the Oni are back and they’re getting all menacingly close. This, however, does not stop Derek from being so excited to hear Eli changed. I may have cried about it. Again.

Flash to Peter, Argent, and Melissa, who are standing in the woods over the college lacrosse field, where a tournament is being played. We learn this is a trap from the nogitsune, and spoilers, this is where Allison has Scott. In like a storage room or something. This is, also, where we officially learn that the hooded man is Harris. Not that all of us called it or anything. But he’s the one who came up with the accelerant (like the hale fire. cmon guys. can we stop with the metaphorical dead horse.)

The nogitsune is threateningly moving towards Eli and sinking his claws into him. I’m sorry I don’t remember what he said I was too busy thinking about the parallels between Eli and Stiles and how I was already too hurt to be considering that.

Alright, back to Allison and Scott. Allison decides to save Scott by... burning the wolfsbane out with a flare? Despite having no wolfsbane? love the new canon, Jeff. Fuck you.

Scott has flashbacks to Motel California when she approaches him with the flare, but she does actually save him, Scott’s better, and Allison is remembering. hooray for love.

The nogitsune has spat Eli right out on the lacrosse field from the shadow dimension, and Scott and Allison come out from underneath it. Scott tells Allison to be safe, because she wants to find her dad, who doesn’t know it’s actually her and not some evil doppelganger. She asks him why he would be so kind after she tried to kill him, and then Scott says “because I’m still in love with you” (notes from the time of watching: you are not still in love with allison im fucking OVER IT)

Lydia and Jackson are under the stadium with Harris, who calls Jackson “you fucking imbecile!” nice use of the fuck word, Jeff. Die. He also keeps shooting Jackson which is less than cash money of him.

Eli and Scott learn that they’re stuck in the college stadium, because it’s a giant illusion. Scott tries to convince coach to get the people out of the stadium safely and calmly, and Coach informs him the only way to do that is to finish the game. So naturally, Eli has Scott’s old number (literally fucking kill me) and Scott is dressed? To score? and have BHHS win the tournament? whatever Jeff’s losing all of us at this point.

Back in the shadow illusion, Derek explains that Eli hasn’t seen his transformation since he was like, 3, because coyotes got into the house, and he transformed and got them out by roaring, and Eli was so terrified he was shaking (notes: that’s so fucked I hate it here)

And the lacrosse field again. Scott misses a goal so bad it hits the scoreboard and breaks it. Naturally. We learn, in a cut to Lydia and Jackson and Harris, that he’s been “pulling the strings and giving the nogitsune his pain” which he has in abundance or whatever. Lydia tells us that she had a recurring dream where she and Stiles get in a wreck, and he gets thrown from the car and dies. so she breaks up with him for that. i. okay.

Peter gets the quick on Allison, bashes her head into fencing, and she knocks out. Meanwhile, Scott tells Eli it’s his goal, and he scores the game winning goal.

We’re back to Argent, Melissa, and Peter. And a semi-conscious Allison. Argent decides that really is his kid, and he throws a wolfsbane knife at Peter. Which might be a bit dramatic but Peter would do the same so. whatever I guess.

Black smoke begins to roll, and everyone has been swallowed by the illusion.

We’ve now got Allison killing the Oni, which is feeling very reminiscent of s3. Meanwhile, Lydia and Jackson are back with Harris watching this happen, and Jackson is telling her that as a banshee, she can cut through the illusion with her scream. When Lydia yells Allison’s name, she knocks back the Oni, and apparently the sense into Allison, because we have an incredibly long flashback sequence that is Allison regaining her memories. Nostalgic, sure, but entirely too long because we all watched the show asshole.

Scott cuts a deal with the nogitsune that if he dies in Allison’s arms, the nogitsune will let the others go. Derek yells at him to not, and Scott manages to convince Allison to kill him. She shoots him with arrows 3? times? I think? Anyways, he’s in her arms and it looks really glum.

But then! The arrows are burning out of him, because Hikari is burning them? Don’t know the logistics but it happened. Scott’s wreathed in foxfire, nobody knows what’s going on, and Allison shoots the nogitsune in the forehead with a silver arrow. Sorry, this is where it gets very chaotic and i got very emotional so it’s jumbled as hell.

The nogitsune asks “what is that?” and Argent says “Silver, you motherfucker.”

Back with Harris, Jackson stabs him with a knife in his boot, and Lydia got his gun.

The nogitsune has evaporated, I wrote down that Derek said fuck at some point. Everything is looking good right now. Eli and Derek are going to shift together. There was a lot.

But now! The nogitsune is back. Saying that when Scott bit him, it changed him -- made him something more. His wrappings fall off, his eyes are glowing green, he looks vaguely werewolfish. (what happened to not being a wolf and a fox you fucking coward jeff. give me your address)

The nogitsune sends everyone into their own room of illusion, which all the werewolves (ie: derek, scott, and eli) break by roaring. Now, they’re all on the nematon with the nogitsune, holding him back. I can’t remember how Eli gets from the nemeton to the ground, but he does, so it’s just Derek and Scott holding him back.

Parrish comes up like, glowing pre-flame and is intending to burn him, and Scott tells Parrish to burn the nogitsune. Parrish refuses because Scott and Derek are holding onto him, and will die if he does so. Derek looks at Eli and rest assured you know exactly what’s gonna happen. It’s Derek.

He says something to Eli along the lines of like “remember who you are” and then tells Scott “you’re the alpha, Scott. It’s always been you” or something like that, then physically throws Scott off the nogitsune and the nemeton. Derek wraps onto the nogitsune while Parrish is holding on (why the nogitsune didn’t break free while Derek was throwing Scott off is beyond me it defeats the whole purpose of having Derek die) and tells Parrish, verbatim, “Light this fucker up.”

Parrish lights him on fire and it spreads to Derek (this is when I stopped being able to see very well because Derek burned in fire just like his family oh god sorry I’m really unwell about it)

right before Derek is engulfed in flames, he’s wolfed out, he’s looking at Eli, and his eyes turn from blue to red (true alpha. Right before he dies. I’m going to burn Jeff at the stake) And he goes up in flames, all of them do, including Parrish. When the flames clear, Parrish is laying on the nemeton, curled up, and it’s obvious that Derek died. The nemeton/illusion fades back to the lacrosse stadium where Eli is kneeling alone and Scott immediately gives him a hug obviously becoming Eli’s interim father and. I hate it.

We flash to Derek’s memorial. I can’t see the tv through the tears, but that’s okay. Scott tries to make it about himself by saying “he saved my life. then he said we were brothers.” and says something about how family isn’t the one you’re born with but the one you find, which is easy for the guy who still has a fucking father to say, huh?

Noah gives Eli the Jeep, explaining Derek hated that Jeep, but when it came to him in total disrepair, he fixed it right up. Even when it shouldn’t have kept going, it did. Then he says “your dad was a lot like that. we never understood why he wouldn’t break down and stay down. I’ve never seen anyone take the kind of punishment Derek Hale took and kept taking in order to protect the people he loved.”

We get Derek flashbacks. I still can’t breathe. Sorry guys, I’m crying again. Apologies.

“He kept going. He kept standing up, until the day he couldn’t. He had complicated feelings about that Jeep, but you don’t need to. All you need to do is keep it running. That’s all you need to do.”

We get a bit about Harris being put in a worse place than Eichen but I truly don’t give a fuck. I’m actively crying again as I type this.

The movie ends with “remember who you are” in Derek’s voice with Eli standing over Beacon Hills in the Preserve.

Fuck. Jeff. Davis

#teen wolf movie #teen wolf movie spoilers #teen wolf movie plot #god this is a lot of slander sorry yall #it is also SO long #long post #if y'all want this shit IN DEPTH but don't wanna watch it... here it is guys.#im here for all you fix-it ficcers who dont want to suffer through the movie #grace speaks #sorry this took so long i cried making it #im never watching this again #but if any fic authors have any questions or need clarification #please reach out #I'll post my thoughts tomorrow my computer is about to die

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wolf-in-a-trenchcoat · 18 days

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I'm bored, so have a (possibly) triggering first chapter look-see of my Ouizzy fic "A Dance With The Devil" that I'm gonna post. I plan to rewrite it to be more canon-accurate but also throw in a little personal spice since I love writing angst.

Also! For those of you who happen to read it anyways, I'd absolutely LOVE some feedback. (That includes the negative feedback. I don't get better unless it's given, and I strive to better my writing). Alright, let me put the trigger warning so we can be prepared!

TW/CW: implied/explicitly expressed abuse, canon typical violence, panic attack, mild aggression, and mentioned amputation and consumption of a toe.

⚠️Reader's discretion is advised.⚠️

Chap 1: Izzy's Torment.

Edward was in a horrid mood again.

Well, Blackbeard.

As typical, Izzy tried keeping things running as smoothly as possible, only speaking when spoken to and snapping orders at the crew if any were caught slacking. He spent the majority of his day limping around the deck, weight leaned on his cane. His foot fucking hurt, and the bandages around it chafed and caused the somewhat healing wound to open and bleed.

Izzy bites back a curse. Literally just a week ago when Blackbeard returned from being willingly captured by the English, Izzy had been force-fed his toe. He remembered that night with very little fondness despite the relieving excitement that coursed through him seeing that dark, malicious glare from Blackbeard. He swallowed thickly, once again reliving having to consume a piece of himself. How fucking poetic.

Leaning against the railing of the Revenge, Izzy stared out into the expanse of water surrounding the ship. The sun was hanging high in the sky, beating down on the deck in exhausting heat. He pulls away, sighing roughly and turned heel towards the lower decks to check in on the crew, to make sure they weren't slacking. They had a tight schedule, and Izzy made sure of it so they would stay busy.

As he descended, he could hear soft murmurs and hurried conversations before they went completely silent. Izzy's stony glare cast over the crew as they stand awkwardly in a circle, eyes directed at the ground as if in submission. Maybe it was genuine submission- that's all Izzy had disciplined into them in his fourteen hour power-trip when Edward was gone.

"What's with all of this... nonsense? Having a little chat with each other? Talking feelings?" Izzy rasps in lilting sarcasm, leaning on his cane with a scowl. No one responds, all except Jim. Their eyes remained trained on the ground, something unusual and out of character to their normally intense glare.

"We need an intervention." Their voice was slow but sure, and then the intense stare strays to Izzy. There was a small shock that ran through him, so subtle he wasn't sure it even happened. He nods his head upwards, chin slightly higher in curiosity.

“An intervention, ay? Ed wouldn't be too fond of that.” Izzy points out, tapping his cane against the floorboards to emphasize it. He sauntered forward, his scowl turning softer. “It's suicide to try and talk him out of this.”

“Still- it'd be better. For all of us.” Frenchie piped in, nervously looking anywhere that wasn't the shorter-statured man. Izzy had noticed the bard was very iffy about eye contact, fluctuating between a hard stare and no eye contact at all. The first-mate didn't know what to make of it, and instead decided it wasn't worth his time- knowing Stede Bonnet's crew, they'd have Izzy soft-side up and forcefully coddled like he was part of their crew. Part of them.

“Get back to work. Fuckin’ useless twats.” Izzy snarled, turning away. A deeper part of him knew that Jim was right- hell, even Frenchie! Of all people, excluding Jim, Frenchie actually had a point- one stating that sitting idly by would only make things worse. Izzy would never admit it, even in his dying breath that he agreed with Stede fucking Bonnet's maniac of a bard. Shame worms its way up Izzy's spine, settling in the center of his chest like a weight in his ribcage.

He… wanted to mutiny against Blackbeard. The one thing Izzy swore his life to uphold the name of, and here he was regretting his choices. A sickening feeling sits ominously idle in his gut, like a viper waiting to strike… waiting until Izzy is distracted. The first-mate swallowed back the rising pain in his throat, stalking off to the top deck and not even waiting to see if the crew listened.

He found himself below deck in his cabin. He was pacing the cramped room, hands tangled in his graying hair, trying to calm the raging storm of emotions in his mind. Izzy was never one for emotions, always keeping them bottled up until they all came out in spiteful insults and barked orders. Right now was not one of those times.

In a swift attempt of releasing his pent up self-destructive loathing, he grabbed a stool and threw it against the wall, the wood exploding into splintering shrapnel as it made impact. Izzy let out a strained shout, heaving in breaths as his attempt of control became vain. He had never let the thought of mutiny cross his mind.

“Fuck. Fuck!” Izzy growls, sitting roughly on his rickety cot and burying his face in his hands. He was sure his death was imminent if Blackbeard heard any whisper or word of possible opposition. The crew would die alongside Izzy if they didn't cower to the Kraken's absolutely mental demands and pressuring emotional manipulation.

Izzy Hands wanted to turncoat on Blackbeard, the man- no, the myth- he helped create. To break the promise he had made so long ago that it became the very air he breathed to upkeep. All for just a little taste of comfort in a trying time that won't last. He was stupid for letting himself be so… invested in the damn crew. How they felt, how they saw him, how they fucking bitched and moaned about how horrible Blackbeard treated them and yet, Izzy understood. How, he'd never know and even if he did, he'd never tell.

Of all people, Israel Hands understood their pain. Of all things, he could empathize with their distaste and wariness of Blackbeard's volatile behavior. The only grace Izzy gave the crew was being the one who took the brunt of all of the Kraken's anger and physical violence. And he wanted it. He deserved it.

A strangled sob left him, his heart hammering in his chest as his throat felt like it was closing. The walls felt like they were closing, his vision tunneling into the abysmal darkness of his own mind, eating away at whatever control he had garnered before it all went black. Silent. His body ached, his chest tightened and he couldn't breathe. He blindly grabs at his shirt, the collar, ripping at his clothes just for some air. Another noise left him as his struggles proved fruitless and he felt suffocated in the weight of this newfound desire to flee. To run from his past, his choices, his actions.

And as if it were as sudden as it set in, he calmed. His breathing was still yet heavy and sharp, sweat soaking his brow and clothes. He was shaking, hands gripping the front of his leather vest like his life was on the line. And it was. If he even told Ed about any of this, he'd lose another toe- no, his entire foot, maybe his life. He inhaled sharply, shakily. He had to set this right.

Whatever it was he needed to do, he'd do it. He stiffly removed his hands from his shirt, gingerly flexing his fingers to get feeling back into them. Smoothing back his disheveled hair and wiping his forehead with his sleeve, he took in a steadier breath. He'd steel himself, force back all of this panic and anguish and become Izzy Hands again. Cold, stoic, and damn near emotionless. Calculated- not some emotional disaster who couldn't even fathom not being dependent on his captain.

#blackbeard ofmd #ouizzy ofmd #ofmd s2 #ofmd #jim ofmd #frenchie ofmd #ofmd izzy #izzy hands #israel hands #our flag means death #our flag means death fanfic #author is in fact an izzy apologist #ofmd angst #ed teach slanderer #gentlebeard is toxic do not even try to argue it because i will end you with psychology and film analysis #izzy deserved better #frenchie is definitely going to be the “better” he deserves

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