#autism (undiagnosed tho)

[victoria-coren-mitchell-stan]

Friendly reminder that a lot of cats have traits often found in autistic people so if you feel very alike to them that's probably why

#'im literally a cat' have you considered you might possibly have undiagnosed autism #shitposting #meow #doesnt go for all cats or autistic people tho and thats absolutely okay #autism #i can call my cat my buddy because we both hate too many noises and also bad textures #and also physical affection from only xertain people at certain times

[def-not-kaz-brekker]

INTRO BECAUSE I HAVENT DONE ONE

(Also pls sign petition to save shadow and bone!! Link)

[please please please send me asks I love interacting with y’all I’m really sorry if I don’t answer right away but I love you for being here and I love you in general ok ask away]

Name: Andi (you can call me ands as nickname)

Pronouns: they/them (maybe he/him??? Idk I won’t get mad if you use he/him I think)

Sexuality: complicated so let’s just say aromantic asexual (I would be honored to answer ur questions regarding aromanticism or asexuality as long as they aren’t hate ofc)

Age: wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

Fav color: probably like black, green, and purple

Godly parent: Apollo

Hogwarts house: slytherin (technically ravenclaw but that test can go fuck itself)

Grisha order: Fabriktor (I’m a Durast)

Languages: Italian and English fluently, learning French and I’m pretty good at it, can sorta understand Spanish, not really German but kinda, like a song and a sentence in Japanese, one Latin song and an exorcism (I had a supernatural phase ok), the Ancient Greek alphabet (percy Jackson phase), a few words of Luxembourgish, did a bit of Indonesian and Chinese when I was in first grade so I know a few words there, and that’s about it

Fandoms: lots of musicals (mostly Phantom), hazbin hotel, helluva boss, grishaverse, Riordanverse, good omens, sandman tv show, our flag means death, the owl house, neon genesis evangelion, Harry Potter (but I do not support jk Rowling, I just like the marauders), Superwholock, keeper of the lost cities, others that I’m probably forgetting

Music taste: musicals, random shit idk mostly musicals

Side blogs: @freshavocado-croissants, @thechroniclesofdepression, @inej-ghafa-appreciation-posts

AO3: def_not_kaz_brekker

Pinterest account: https://pin.it/22TYpze

#intro post #introduction #def-not-kaz-brekker #<-idk about that tag I just like tagging shit #queer #trans #nonbinary #aroace #asexual #aromantic spectrum #autism (undiagnosed tho) #fandoms

[ace-dodo]

Low functioning day? What about a low functioning week!

#ive been so dizzy this week oml #i barely do anything and i feel like fainting all the time #make it stop 😭😭 #im okay tho #i think #I HAVENT FAINTED SO THAT MEANS IM FINE 😁😁 #autism #undiagnosed autistic #autistic #autistic things #actually autistic

[sunspira]

Im laying my bets now. the entire idea that autism (and adhd) is more common in men and boys is pure myth created by poor science, backwards statistics and faulty parameters of the condition itself. in another 50 years we will understand it was never a gendered condition. just a highly gendered and biased measurement system. i'm absurdly confident on that

the rates of autism in girls is "rising" exponentially. it is rising even more exponentially in girls than in boys. not because girls are becoming more autistic. but because the "science" is just getting better at measuring and accurately acknowledging autism in girls.

autism often does present differently in girls, due to how girls are raised or personality differences. the literature and criteria was based on boy sample groups. the entire research data was done on white men as if that is a standard default person and control group.

not only that, doctors and teachers and parents literally were not looking for it in girls under the false widely propagated belief it was rare in women in girls. it is a self fulfilling prophecy. that's not science.

we will soon have to reckon with the lost generations of autistic girls and women and children assigned female at birth* who never got diagnosis and early intervention. we should be forcing the world to reckon with it right now. a great deal of autistic millennial women are brilliant minds who dropped out of STEM and the workforce due to their untreated and misidentified disability overtaking their life. the impact of never Knowing you or your child is autistic or adhd is difficult to comprehend for autistic and adhd people who did get diagnosed as children. even when the awareness and interventions were unhelpful or harmful. the harm of not knowing means the child trying even harder to become neurotypical and a level of autistic burnout few others on the spectrum can comprehend, often taking place after the woman is a legal adult, and there are no legal protections in place for this disabled person.

the unmitigated stress of being developmentally delayed and never knowing it, simply hating and blaming yourself and fighting day in and out past your limits to become neurotypical, limits your don't know you should have because you have never been so much as briefed on what adhd or autism can feel like. you don't know the distres and tiredness you're feeling is "dysregulation". this is why we see women in nervous breakdowns. psychiatric wards. treatment resistant depression. electric shock therapy. hard drug addiction. cutting. homelessness. personality disorders. dissociation. psychosis. early death by accident or suicide. (obviously people who are not autistic or adhd have these illnesses but my point is untold and disproportionate numbers of them are undiagnosed neurodivergent with unprocessed trauma. i'm telling you. more than you think).

it's why we see young people on tiktok not faking DID per say, but describing a dissociated experiences and fractured sense of self and escapist alternate personalities, a mental illness that has much less in common with traditional DID, but has much in common with struggling and under-treated autistic people. DID is a very rare condition. autism is very common. autism can create out of body experiences and self protective blurring of reality and fantasy so extreme, no person can be expected to understand it is autism if they never been advised about their own disability and the knowledge that should he available to them. it's no wonder we have people with mislabeled rare disorders like DID who are clearly very sick but instead of showing real DID signs, are sick with all the signs of severe unassisted autism they have been completely barred from understanding or coping with in any other way. for those lucky enough, we see unemployed young women with severe chronic pain in their 20s and 30s who look and feel like they're elderly and gave up their dreams when they hit 21 or 25 and their brains stopped working and their bodies shut down. now they mostly scroll tumblr and tiktok and try to remember to open the blinds. they have a roof but people scorn them for entitled laziness and worst of all derided for "self diagnosing".

again i'm asking why CFS chronic fatigue syndrome is so responsive to adderall. i'm asking why professionals are reluctant to test women for adhd if she does well in school because she is very bookish and why experts in the field are openly amused and doubtful to test a woman for autism if she has a long term boyfriend. why is ability to mask or function a disqualification. why is inability to function in women, who later turn out to be autistic or adhd, so aggressively mischaracterized as BPD, bipolar, depression, OCD, schizophrenia. why is autism and adhd clinically diagnosed and defined by distress and dysfunction and not by intrinsic traits and qualities that present while still functional for preventative care. why are all people, men and women forced to wait until their lives and minds are deteriorating and they have experienced some irreversible disasters and pain before they can be diagnosed. why must girls and boys wait until their daily life as children have become unbearable hell for them before their disability can be treated and acknowledged. and if these policies are changing now, why are doctors and psychiatrists not eagerly and urgently reaching out to find the vulnerable adults they missed during more archaic screening methods. we aren't rising in adhd diagnosis because of tiktok you assholes. adult onset adhd and autism don't exist. those people were always adhd. adult onset skill regression and increase in severity due to stress DOES happen in adulthood. modern day stresses like loss of structure during the pandemic and social media is advancing to become more attention span draining. everyone is feeling the effects but these are causing adhd and autistic people to cope less and mask less effectively so they are running into significant problems, their loved ones are noticing, they are getting referrals and suddenly forced to google their rapidly worsening mental issues for the first time and seeing they line up with a known neurological condition . this is obvious. doctors blaming it on some sort of trend are being willfully clueless

*because autism especially is screened identified diagnosed and first intervened ages 2-5, before a child has an internal concept of self or gender and above all before they can express their gender, diagnostic practices and criteria are based on how adults perceive a child via birth assignments. and the studies are overwhelmingly beholden to data only on children assigned male at birth, rarely accounting for their actual future gender either. as part of the warped science insisting that autism is as if somehow linked to the y chromosome and not a universally likely human quality, you see amab kids laser focused on as candidates and afab kids fucked over most of all. all children assigned female have the worst chances of their developmental disability being identified and acknowledged in a timely manner and disproportionately experience late diagnosis in later adolescence or adulthood. tho i wouldn't be surprised if trans womens rates of accurate diagnosis is lower than cis men. as trans girls may present autism differently and characteristic of girls autism, even while still in the closet or before she knows she is trans. regardless adults are very vigilant for signs of autism, even atypical ones, in any child they perceive as a boy. so any millennial or gen z child identified female at birth had significantly worse chance at receiving autistic support compared to peers

in particular women assigned male at birth might have a better chance at being identified for types of autism that are often labeled "high functioning", involves high masking, and often receives few services. these more invisible types of autism often need to be diagnosed before age 5 in order to qualify under the criteria at all. and so in the days where autism was believed to be 20x more common in the genetics of xy children, any chance of being considered and diagnosed would come down to almost purely birth assignment dependent. with the less outwardly visible types of autism, a person who misses this window will remain autistic all their life but once they learn a certain level of skills and masking, no matter how late they learn these, the person will no longer qualify for diagnosis, either not until they have a nervous breakdown or possibly not ever qualify. it's this type of more hidden autism we see struggling across the board as undiagnosed adults including both trans and cis women especially, tho we are seeing it disproportionately even more so in undiagnosed afabs of any gender. who are dropping out of schooling and work and succumbing to severe mental illnesses during what should be the prime of their lives. overall tho birth assignment is not everything this is an issue that disproportionately impacts cis women. trans women. trans men. non-binary people. likely doubling for those that are afab. and then tripling and quadrupling for children who are not white.

bit of an understatement in that last part there. gender likely isn't even the biggest barrier to proper diagnosis and treatment. probably race is even more so. but since gender is such a big disparity in itself across race and one i relate to and can speak on from experience ive focused on it here. a more in-depth look is needed on the neglect of adhd and autistic children of color especially black native and latino kids. but for now do keep in mind the points i'm making increase exponentially for kids who aren't white across all genders including cis boys

#this is dramatic and long but it's a dramatic situation that is completely slept on in the public eye #it's not just about me this is about people who had it so much worse. tho my insider experience obviously brought it to my attention #i'm pretty sure i'm not autistic im adhd but the reality of adhd is a lot more like autism than we are acknowledging #a topic for another day #autism in women #adhd in women #atypical autism #adhd inattentive #undiagnosed autistic #undiagnosed neurodivergent #undiagnosed autism #undiagnosed adhd

[autistic-katara]

i wanna force my parents to take the radds—r autism quiz thing and study the results under a microscope

#all 3 of my siblings + me r (undiagnosed atp) autistics #we gotta get it from somewhere #but i’m not sure which one #ik alotta ppl on my mum’s side r autistic but i’m kinda suspecting my dad #how do i casually ask them to take that quiz tho 😭 #autism #autistic #ryan shut the fuck up

[demontouched]

idk which neorodivergent needs to hear this, but go buy a white noise machine. go to the baby section of whatever giant chain retailer is near you and pick out a noise machine. you could get a cute one, or one with a nightlight, or one that has an app. it doesn't matter. what matters is that it fills that odd silence you always hear, and it helps you focus. i have had a white noise machine on in the background for a few months now, and i can say without a doubt that i get things done faster now. i also recommend one that you plug in instead of needing to be charged bc you sometimes forget that shit. if you have snesory issues, it might get a little overwhelming sometimes but you can just turn it off! just turn it off and sit in the new silence until you hate it again.

#sensory #white noise #noise #noise machine #white noise machine #sensory issues #autistic things #autistic adult #actually autistic #autism #undiagnosed autism #undiagnosed autistic #this has helped me a lot #idk about everyone elss tho #idk about anyone else #idk what else to tag

[orbmanson7]

Oh, also have this doodle from yesterday, because I needed a visual for a fic I was writing

#fucked it up tho cuz one of them will need to be dressed differently for this to make sense #anyway #reanimator #herbert west #dan cain #re animator #yeah no i just wanted to write a fic about herbert having undiagnosed autism and how the 80s awareness was abysmal #so Herbert has just gotten used to handling annoying situations but this particular one wasnt great #also i mostly just wanted to draw dan shoving a door closed for this scene #thats the only reason this doodle exists #orb cant draw #doodles

[aboveweirdest]

You know. I probably should have realized something was up with my neuros when i started getting really anxious about where to look while i was walking in middle school. That's not a very neurotypical thing to do 😬

#nexa rambles #adhd #autism #like maybe #probably #it has been suggested by professionals #undiagnosed adhd #it's diagnosed now tho lol #at 24 finally #undiagnosed autistic #neurodivergence #neurodivergent #where are queue and i'm so sorry

[desktopmermaid]

is there something about the movie bullet train that draws in lesbians cause my girlfriend also really likes that movie shes watched it like 20 times

HDHDHSH THATS SOOO FUNNY. ITS LIKE CATNIP. Like I was so shy showing my friends cos technically it got kinda bad reviews but then yeah. Approved by the gay council

#ask #I kept joking that it’s the autism movie cos I got my friends hooked on it and we watched it a couple times #and then they showed it to their friends #and then come to find out my grandpa with very undiagnosed autism traits also watched it 3 times and wanted to watch it again with me LOL #something about it.. #fav #this is so funny tho ty for telling me. what is it about that dam train..

[soup-is-nice-sometimes]

ok one of my semi-irls is gonna see this im just being angsty im fine i promise

right now thats outta the way

i feel like im always subtly being left out like i have friends, i have a fair few friends but my two best friends are dating each other so there's that and my sport friends all finished high school last year and im in my last year this year and i have 2 separate groups of friends who live in the same city but theyre like 1.5 hour drive away from me and i just cant do that whenever i wanna see em (no car of my own + also only on my learners) and if i go up to see one group i'll wanna see the other and theyre on opposite sides of teh city and its a rlly big city it would take me a couple hours (cause of traffic) to get from one side to the other

and i have school friends but theyre like,,, im not as close as them yk and i wanna hang out w them but i need to rlly work up the courage to be like "hey do you wanna hang out sometime soon?" cause thats rlly scary for me

#rant #idk i just need to see more people #and it hurts seeing a group of friends post photos of them all hanging out w/o me #even tho i cant go #rsd is a bitch #rsd #probably #like one of my friends posted photos on her story #of a bunch of them hanging out #(this is sport friends btw) #and like i get why they wouldnt want me there (also i have sCHOOL now) cause why would the group of 18/19 yos want a 17 yo hanging out w em #like ik thats not their mindset but wtvr #also they were all friends before i got there so theres that too #and i hate feeling like im intruding #ah i love life /s #probably undiagnosed adhd or autism or maybe even both #but most likely even just rsd

[miguels-talons]

....ya know i don't even have anything to defend myself from this i'm Not Normal about these games

#i also have the novel for the first game #and the 'b is for boy' book is on its way supposed to be here tomorrow #i just #hm #i love them #and the game #leave me aLonr #gow #god of war #wow i talk #yes i'm going to get the og games too #eventually #and any other memoribial i can get my #grubby lil hands on #for now tho just the newer games #all the ragnarok collectors stuff is still in that box lmao #but i have it all #i blame my undiagnosed autism

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

i dont know much about trigun but i think it would be silly if vash and knives (they are brothers?) or vash and wolfwood (lovers? enemies? idk) were drawn like that barbie and ken mugshot meme. From what you post Mr Vash Stampede just seems like ken. little silly guy

YOU HAVE THE MOST PERFECT TIMING WITH THIS EVER I'm literally in the middle of drawing a picture of knives and vash that looks like this.

theyre brothers your honor

#i would draw the whole meme but i simply do not have the energy for it tonight #the phrase mr the stampede has been stuck in my head all night hehe u just reminded me of it #drawing vashs tristamp hair is soooo painful to me. i miss the spikey. unfortunately i am doing a style swap thing with this so i have to #sigh </3 #hiiii louis this made me smile hehe thank u #also ive seen like 3 ppl do that meme with vashwood already so the fact that u included knives makes me happy :] #(<< guy who is having a category 12 emotional about millions knives moment tonight) #theyre BROTHERS. theyre brothers..... #i love the idea that after canon knives calms down and stops trying 2 kill everybody bc he realizes #oh i dont want to commit genocide actually. i just need therapy. #but like. he and vash are still both wanted criminals because. gestures at the events of trigun. all that #so its just. silly antagonistic brother adventures. i keep thinking abt that one drawing someone did of them comparing wanted posters #its so silly and its so important to meeeeeee. #knives just needs to smoke some weed and play Minecraft for a few hours and he'll calm down. #hes just got undiagnosed autism and a metric ton of childhood trauma. its fine #sorry i kind of went off on u there. I'm having trigun emotions tonight. if u couldn't tell #making this unrebloggable because its a wip <3 sorry kings #my sketches are sooooo ugly . u get the idea tho #asks #friends!!! #din0draws #shrimp fried rice #also. other file names blurred bc its a spoiler for another ask I'm answering soon. lmao

[thementalhealthdisaster]

Ages ago I started telling people I was experiencing tics. Because I was experiencing tic-like behaviour. It happened often when I was anxious or stressed. And I started trying to see if anxious tics were a real thing.

(they aren't, tics can get more frequent/bigger? With anxiety tho)

And when I started thinking about it, I knew this likely wasn't a tic disorder. It'd happened before and gone away. It has since calmed down significantly and I can go a long time without having them. They also don't feel how people describe tics.

So, what do I think they are?

Honestly? I'm not a doctor and I don't know. But I do have a theory. My "tics" were often a head jerk or drop followed by a vocal sound and/or hitting myself (usually the head). While I often couldn't stop these, I could redirect them.

(I could also trigger them by thinking about them. That doesn't fit neatly in any part of my explanation, but it doesn't disprove anything either so it's staying there.)

Like I said, they felt connected to anxiety and stress.

I'm undiagnosed autistic. I've always called what I now know are sometimes meltdowns and shutdowns, anxiety attacks.

My theory is, that my autistic brain was forcing me to stim in some way to process emotions and get through meltdowns and shutdowns. My brain causing me to have involuntary movements (that I could redirect as sounds or other movements) in an attempt to prevent a more severe meltdown.

I also hit myself in meltdowns. So that part is similar. It often happened worse right before and during meltdowns. It happened minorly but a lot while driving, something that causes me anxiety. It was happening the most during a time where I was trapped at my parents and extremely suicidal. I'd often have meltdowns or panic attacks on the way home. I was almost always emotionally exhausted...

I think my brain was desperate for me to Do Something. To stop sitting completely still and filled to the brim with fear. It needed me to jerk and whistle and pop and hit myself to deal with those feelings.

I think.

Like I said, I'm not a doctor.

#mental health #suicide tw #sui tw #suicidal mention tw #tic disorder #only putting that tag in case anyone experiencing similar can see this and see they might not have a tic disorder #i dont believe i do #and hi to any people with tic disorders here #hope youre having a nice day #autistic adult #actually autistic #first time using that tag i think #hope y'all dont mind my undiagnosed ass being here #autism #autistic #meltdown #honestly this stuff is confusing #but what i experienced abd occasionally still do is real #and therefore is something #what it is is a mystery tho

[g0reoz]

ok yknow what. i honestly think the reason a decent amount of mainstream autism rep has historically been bad isn't because it's. like. wholly unrealistic yk. it's because a) that's ALL most rep boils down to which gives allistic ppl who don't do research or whatever a good chance of thinking that IS autism instead of just a simplified version of one of the many ways someone on the spectrum might be and b) even when it's an accurate-ish way of how someone might exist it's constantly treated as either a joke or a morally bad thing. like.

as someone who definitely to some extent falls under the Emotionally Detached Low Empathy Guy Who Is Smart And Likes Science And Toys And Overanalyzes Social Interactions trope. it would be nice to a) see more than JUST that in media. just bc autism has been historically diagnosed way more in men does not mean every autistic person is smartass mcwhiteboy. and b) when it is depicted this way, see it as smth other than demonized. yknow. obviously sheldon cooper is the first thing that comes to mind. but it's the combination of horribly oversimplifying someone to a bunch of stereotypes and then taking things that might feel more like a person having experiences and turning them into bad things, either by having em pointed out by other characters as such or using narrative framing & a laugh track to do the job. low empathy? yeah that character is unfeeling and cold or something. and also super arrogant and selfish because the autistic tendency to put others' issues in terms of your own experience totally isn't someone doing their best to relate to you and offer comfort. they just only care about themself.

and it goes on and on and on and on! nobody wins. people who don't relate at all to a specific portrayal just don't get any representation, i guess! and those who do identify with some ways autism manifests itself in a character get to see it constantly belittled.

#anyways. i might rearticulate this later bc i have more to say. but i wanted to quick get it out now yk #and for the record. i love abed from community. i think he's some of the best mainstream rep i've seen and i really really like how they- #-handled him as a character. i feel really seen thru him yknow?? #but anyways this whole thing got me started w christopher from that one mark haddon book. #which obv the way he approached christophers autism is. not great much like how other media does bc that way they can #get away w not having full responsibility for autism portrayal by claiming an obviously autistic character is not autistic #but i digress. #anyways. i think a lot of things christopher said rly resonated and tho some things were definitely stereotypical like? i still enjoyed him #-on the whole. and to see ppl. especially allistic ppl. just saying he's annoying and stuff and then listing all his symptoms as reasons- #-they just absolutely hate him? girl. ur not cute for that one. #is he perfect rep? no. should all rep look like him? also no. but that is absolutely an undiagnosed autistic teenager #.woof.

[roaringheat]

The overwhelming urge to get a new game so I can get some much needed enrichment is battling it out with my money anxiety

#vark posts #i dont have the motivation to do any of things i already like so i feel like the only way to spark something is to get something new #i really wish i didnt only consume media through hyperfixation #cause then when it dies down i'm just sittin here :/ #like im still obsessed with fallout 4 but my really intense hyperfixation died down in december #and even tho i really want to keep playing it my brain wont let me get the motivation bevause im not in peak hyperfixation #i sure have undiagnosed issues :^( #this post was originally about money guilt but i went on a tangent about what is probably autism but maybe adhd LMAO

[biblicallyaccuratefaggot]

it just struck me that my chest (ribcage) isnt as broad as it used to be. either its due muscle atrophy or hrt just sucked all of the fat that was on it and moved it to my ass and thighs

#growing up i was freakishly strong due to really high T levels #it made me both really tall and really muscular for my age so i was always seen as intimidating #this on top of undiagnosed autism made growing up a very lonely experience #and gender dysphoria that i didnt know i had of course #so it feels nice knowing im not some hulking thing anymore #i do want to hit the gym tho so i can actually lift things tho