#baby constipation

[cynicallyneutral]

naruto: this one’s for u babe *misses*

#narusasu #sasunaru #naruto #sasuke #lmao -this is so lame its funny’djfhfjgjg #i hate drawing sasuke fuck his fukcim hair #idk how to draw that bitchkdhfjff #my art #round fox baby #naruto’s boyfriend #is that my tag idek anymore]lmaoooo #damn #sasuke is a constipated mf #but he’s very much in love with his boyf

[seasicksilver]

good old times

#invincible #invincible show #invincible fanart #mark grayson #nolan grayson #debbie grayson #fan art #artists on tumblr #digital art #sketch #doodle #my art #i headcanon that mark was THE ugliest baby ever and nolan's immediate reaction to seeing mark was the most disgusted 'ew' of all time #mainly bc i think it would be the funniest thing ever actually #then he gets attached and is like 'how did this happen. he is so ugly' #nolan grayson: mark may be an ugly baby. but he is MY ugly baby #sorry i have actual deep thoughts about this show but i have to meme on it or else it becomes a little too depressing #nolan being clueless about kids. esp human kids is another hc #humans are so fragile so i must bundle my part human child in winter clothes in the middle of spring <- nolan's thought process #debbie thinks it's cute #making myself depressed knowing how this family turns out #whatever nolan wins the most divorced man award. i need debbie to explode him #what could have been scenarios always get me because like. what if nolan stopped being constipated and had a rational thought for once #if he was able to see how insane the viltrumite way of life was and was able to properly cope with breaking away from it...

[how-the-feathers-have-fallen]

Me, fighting tooth and nail against my irl friends who are sw*fties: yeah well, maybe I want my sad girl music to have a 3 minute guitar solo and distorted audio after the second verse of vaguely gay lyrics have you considered that ?!

#admit it if pete wentz's lyrics were sung by some white woman to plain ass slow piano music with max 3 cords yall would eat that shit up #but heaven forbid it be layered and/or vocally/musically compelling with a decibel count over 65.2 #or not sung by a climate criminal trying to sound emotional or weepy but actually sounds constipated 💀 #icarus' random screaming #icarus' burning life stories #anti taylor swift #im probably slicing my palm open for a demonic ritual in shark infested waters by doing this but oh well #pete wentz #fall out boy #icarus falls out #not even just fall out boy. I'll put on the tamest led zepplin or rage against song i can find and they look at me like 😶😣😖😨😰😱😵 #i put on eat your young they ASK then i try explain the critique of war profiteering/capitalism and theyre like silly ***** readin too deep #LIKE YOU ASKED. I KEPT IT SO SIMPLE. YOUR FELLOW SWIFTIES LOVE THIS SHIT WTF #im scared to try and bring up mitski (esp. working for the knife/best american girl) lest i kill my own friends #like they're not insane conspiracy swifities and i love them dearly but they're fundamentally tiktok youth gen z and im... not :/ #and im fine with it we joke and laugh about it and poke fun at each other for it but sometimes i feel so alienated #not on purpose. not by them. but i look at em and they look like test tube babies (not mean). #they look to me like what ginny & georgia looks like to them. too polished too stylised too... Just So #sometimes they look like the same lifeless tiktok copy and pasted and it scares me #im trying to remember that post about how tiktok thirst traps and general posts are so set up and stilted they look sexless #and robotic #anyway #the generational gap between me and my fellow teens/young adults 💀💀💀

[azucar-skull]

Chapter 40 in a nutshell: Casey Jr goes spectator mode and witnesses his gay uncles living a telenovela

(Coming soon on Wednesday--)

#what are they fighting about? oh nothing. just leo's emotional constipation and usagi's pettiness-- #and absolutely nothing to do with some baby that cass brought in-- #green eyed mask #green eyed mask rottmnt #gemrottmnt #rottmnt #tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #ao3 #fanfic #art

[bibannana]

Tup *patting Dogma on the back*: I wear my heart on my sleeve, unlike some.

Dogma *rolls his eyes*: Just because I have emotional control-

Pickup *thoughtful look on his face*: What about when you're not wearing sleeves?

Tup *blinks*: What?

Pickup *shrugs*: Y'know, because you can't wear your heart on your sleeve if you aren't wearing any sleeves.

Fives *snorts*: Stars Pickup you di'kut-

Echo *smacks him across the head*: Be nice to him you know he doesn't always understand idioms.

Coy *sighing*: Pickup, it means he shows his true emotions freely.

Pickup *face scrunched in thought*: Then why doesn't he just say that?

#pickup my love #my poor clueless baby clone #he takes everything a bit literally #coy is working on it #tup did you just indirectly call dogma emotionally constipated? #fives be nice to my baby okay? #clone trooper tup #clone trooper dogma #arc trooper echo #arc trooper fives #arc medic coy #clone pilot pickup #oc 501st clones #oc clones #tup #dogma #fives #echo #coy #pickup #star wars #incorrect star wars quotes #the clone wars #tcw #clone wars #incorrect clone wars quotes #501st #501st shenanigans

[cheapcheapfaker]

On one hand i would like to have a large baby. my family and gilgamesh’s come from a long line of beefy, nine pound plus chunkers. I was 9 and something lbs with a full head of hair and almost a week late. I want that baby fully cooked and maybe a little overdone. tons of studies not just anecdotal show that they just seem sort of… nicer and easier to deal with, like the biggest of the litter. they sleep more. they dont struggle in general as much and they gain weight easily and they also move a little slower. not saying they dont hit milestones but a fat ass baby will stay in its potted plant lump stage a little while longer before jumping into the running around sticking fingers in outlets stage.

on the other hand, i am so so concerned for the sanctity of my gooch. a nine pound baby will tear my grundle asunder. my taint to shreds.

#the thing nobody talks about pregnancy is you already have to deal w constipation cause your body has bigger priorities #& your uterus is freaking the fuck out next to ur intestines #the chance of hemorrhoids before birth is very common #my pussy? i believe in her. #my gooch? he’s a sensitive soul. #its also a bit funny when people say things like ‘we have been having babies for millenium’ #technically yes. but at these sizes w our modern nutrition? we sure the fuck haven’t #they actually gave prenatals to pregnant ppl in developing countries and it led to MORE complications and deaths #bc the prenatals weren’t also paired w high quality modern medicine #so these large babies were just causing all sorts of chaos compared to smaller more easily birthed babies #the way our reproduction system is they are just very large parasites #they’ll steal your teeth and rip open your gooch

[cthulhusstepmom]

Ghost is a walking dichotomy, Soap has discovered. He's watched him strip the layers of a man's skin away to get information from him, seen him snap someone's neck in as little time as it takes to take a breath. But he's also so capable of heartbreaking kindness. His genuine concern for the fish, the way he saves the best part of his plate for Soap; offering it to him with reverence. The way he's cleaning Johnny's wound so tenderly. It's in these moments of gentleness where Johnny almost forgets what they do, what they've seen, who they are.

So when Ghost's voice snaps into that serious tone it's almost like a slap in his dizzy, goofily smiling, face.

"Wha?"

"Where is it? I'll get rid of it for you." Under the sharp tone is still that lethal gentleness, and even under that is a shaking fear.

"Oh, oh Ghost." He shifts, uncomfortable in his skin and wanting to be anywhere but here. "Ye... Ye cannae get rid of it."

His Lieutenant draws back a little, a mix of apprehension and offense in his eyes.

"It hurt you, nothing else matters."

Soap can feel his heart splitting as his throat starts to burn. Ghost stares up at him with fiery eyes, hands still holding his wrist so so softly.

"Where is the snake Soap? I promise you it'll never hurt you again. Whoever brought it in is going to have hell to pay too." He earnestly promises and Soap feels a single hot tear slip out of his eye.

"Ghost..." He chokes out. "Simon... It's mine."

The small room goes silent. Nothing even dares to move but for the violent flinch the sentence rips out of Ghost.

He doesn't dare say anything, doesn't dare to move or even breathe. He looks down at Ghost and Ghost meets his stare with turmoil roiling in his gaze.

Soap doesn't know what he expected, screaming or sobbing or angry silence but the frantic confusion he can see in the other man is as far as can be from what he'd thought he'd get.

They sit there like that for a few long moments, each absorbed in his own thoughts, before Ghost slowly rises from his kneel. If Johnny were in better spirits he would tease him for the quiet cracks his knees make. And with that violent tenderness he slowly curls an arm around Johnny and leans him down into the bed, pressing behind him and holding him close just like they'd done on any number of frigid nights out in the blind. And they just sit there holding each other in silence as they slowly drift into a dreamless sleep.

#in this canon this is the first time theyve done something that can't be explained away by extenuating circumstances #but you don't really save the best parts of your meal religiously for your subordinate who youre friends with #Ghost is devoted to Soap #full stop #and Soap is dedicated to Ghost 100% #i hear you “Cthulhu why are the emotionally constipated military men just cuddling instead of resolving their issues unhealthily?” #to which i say: #Ghost just had his world tilted on its axis #a constant in his life is that snakes are bad and the people who keep them are bad people who do bad things #like his father #but here's John “he owns my soul” MacTavish bleeding profusely and still not letting Ghost kill the snake also being unquestionably good #even though he understands intellectually that Soap has done bad things #hes watched the little punk blow up shit for the sake of it and literally clip a car battery to a man's ears #that doesn't matter because Johnny is Good with a capital G and he is the exact opposite of Ghost's father #so he really doesnt have it in him to be angry and he just needs to hold close to the constancy and try to reconcile his new information #And Soap is just so so ready to be immediately rejected and never see Simon again #he doesn't want to sacrifice what he maybe has with Ghost to protect his rescues #because they need him and they didnt ask to be what they are or where they are #so hes just so so relieved that Ghost hasnt ordered him out and killed all of his babies #because he's seen Ghost shoot a dog in yhe head on a mission for barking and Ghost loves dogs #he doesnt want to see what Ghost would do to an animal he doesn't like #I HOPE THIS IS BETTER THAN THE CLIFFHANGERS #GUYS THERES SO MUCH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT COMING #AHOFFBIDKSHAIAKBZJA #cod mw2 #fish person gaz #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #reptile person soap

[sighonaraa]

roy pov is something that, as an older sister myself, can actually be so personal

#girl help! i'm shedding tears over roy's constipated emotions of love #lol. jamie as roy's baby brother is soooo wauuuuguhhh #i'm having so much fun (inflicting emotional damage) #football kiddos au #ted lasso #roy kent #jamie tartt

[some-greatreward]

can someone convince to like Rank pls. I just. What is morrissey DOING on this album

#usually I’m ok with his like…barking and falsetto and yelping or whatever #but like it genuinely sounds like he’s barfing for so much of this it’s rlly offputting #it’s also offputting in rush/push and I Started Something bc he sounds like he’s constipated #but alas Strangeways is my baby so I tolerate it

[fellhellion]

yadda yadda we all have different interpretations of art, but i also feel like "miguel is absolutely retraumatised when mayday crawls all over him and peter is a bad friend for not noticing" just kind of. ignores the intended comedic tone of the scene? as well as the fact miguel has doesn't tense up in the aftermath of baby hold + peter ribbing him. he relaxes.

#unclenches if you will lmao #body posture wise hes not relaxed but emotionally you can tell hes calmed down. he reapproaches explaining to miles whats going on w/o #lashing out. #the fact hes stoic and trying to project authority and confidence while the vibe is utterly undermined by baby on head is the joke #hes also just. honestly kind of an awkward guy when it comes to being emotionally vulnerable #he can tell u to fuck off sure but could he say he considers peter a friend and he likes mayday? beyond the gesture of enduring the ribbing #and holding the baby gently? nah. that bitch is emotionally constipated #theres daughter trauma hanging overhead in that scene sure. but i dont think any part of miguel actually misplaces that onto peter and bebe #tunes talks spiderverse

[augustinewrites]

wrote some xiao today bcs my boy is coming home whether he likes it or not

xiao senses you before he sees you, not bothering to look over his shoulder as he sighs, "what are you doing here?"

you lower yourself to sit next to him, legs dangling off the roof of the inn. "i was looking for you."

it's a nice night. quiet, tranquil. he usually comes up here to dampen the constant noise in his mind, but with you near, his thoughts always seem to be astir.

“I just want to know why you’ve been avoiding me lately,” you say softly.

he wants to roll his eyes, because, oh, boo fucking hoo he hasn’t been hanging around you much lately. he had things to do, people to look after. you should know that by now, that liyue and his duties as an adeptus always come first.

oh, and boo fucking hoo, it was your own fault you hadn’t noticed him lingering outside the restaurants you met ningguang in, or stalking in shaded corners, keeping an eye on you as you trained with keqing.

and maybe he should tell you, he thinks, that he’s holding you at an arm’s length because he’d started feeling things. that he’s doing it because he’d pretty much broken his own golden rule and developed something dangerously close to feelings for you. 

he should tell you that the strings were already attached and that he thought it was funny— that the person who’d spent his life avoiding the complications of interpersonal relationships was the one getting tangled up in them now.

he opens his mouth to tell you this, that it is your fault, but his mouth goes dry when he tries. 

and he should tell you, he thinks, as his back slouches and his leg uncrosses at the knee, that he’s avoiding you because sometimes he’s suddenly feeling too much. that it’s been snowballing, ever since you'd fought by his side to protect liyue harbour.

and he should tell you that it’s equal parts confusing and frustrating trying to figure out what he wants to do about it all.

but he tries. because when he casts you a sideways glance, he sees the worry on your face illuminated in the pale light of the moon and feels a little guilty.

“you don’t— you just wouldn’t get it,” he decides on saying instead. because he’s so afraid, so scared he’ll say the wrong thing, that he’ll mess this up or somehow make things worse. 

you don't say anything for a moment, and the tension in his gut is building and building and building and he doesn’t know what to do— 

“are you…okay?” 

your careful voice snaps him out of it, and he sighs, palms sticky with sweat against the leather of his gloves.

he scowls slightly, putting up his barriers and guarding what? his back? his heart? 

who the fuck knew anymore? 

you just watch him with that awfully unnerving stare of yours. “something’s bothering you,” you frown.

that just might be the understatement of the millennium. he almost laughs at that. 

“i haven’t the slightest idea what you’re saying. do enlighten me.” 

your frown— no, your pout, only deepens at his feigned ignorance. “i’m serious.”

“always are, aren’t you?” he mutters, not looking at you. focusing on anything but you. the rustle of leaves in the breeze. the twinkling lights of liyue harbour in the distance.

“you’re deflecting.”

“no, i’m stalling.” 

“why?” 

“because you’re you,” he shrugs, as if it’s answer enough. 

“because i’m me?” 

he cuts you a charged glare. maybe it’s ‘cause he’s tired, or maybe it’s because, for someone so smart, you're still so unbelievably clueless and he feels the inherent need to set you straight.

(maybe it’s because, for the first time in his life, his walls are starting to crumble and he wants to be honest.)

“because even i don’t get you,” he snaps, taking a proverbial sledgehammer to the walls he’s put up for so long. “i don’t get why you insisted on helping me with that domain, even though you hardly knew me. i don’t get why you just give and give, and that it’s never transactional. i don’t get why you care so much. why you care about your job and about—”

—me.

you don't say anything. he finally glances up at your face, attempting to decipher a reaction. 

there’s nothing there, except shock, maybe. no frown, no smirk, nothing to suggest how you really felt about his stupid rambling. he’s laid his cards out on the table. what happens now is up to you.

he hates it.

so he opens his mouth again, like the idiot that he is. his voice doesn’t sound like it’s supposed to, far too coloured with vulnerability than he likes. “most of all…i don’t get why i care.”

xiao's not looking at you anymore, choosing instead to stare at a crooked nail protruding from the roof as his face burns in shame. 

it feels like hours until he hears your voice. “so, you’ve been avoiding me because you…care?” 

he nods, scoffing, but not clarifying things any further. “something like that.”

archons, when the hell had he gotten so soft? he was a yaksha, a demon.

“xiao” you whisper when he turns away. “xiao, look at me.”

“fine,” he grumbles, trying to ignore the gentle tug on his sleeve as he turns towards your siren’s call. “i said fine—”

his grousing is immediately interrupted by the feel of cool hands grasping the sides of his face. his hand flies up to one of your wrists; instinct tells him to flinch back, to yank you away—

— but for some stupid, unknown reason, he doesn’t. 

you sit like that for a minute, your hands cupping his cheeks and his own gripping your wrist. when was the last time he’d let anyone touch him so…intimately?

“you’re allowed to, you know?” you breath softly, in a quiet undertone. “allowed to care.”

his eyes carefully drag over your face for even an ounce of dishonesty, heart fluttering between his ribs when he doesn’t find it.

it’s slow, the way you close the space between them. slow to give him a chance to come back to his senses and back away from the ledge he’s teetering on.

xiao doesn’t move, even as your hand fists the front of his shirt to pull him closer, even when your nose nudges his. he doesn’t move until your warm lips meet his, and, holy shit, he’s kissing you. 

(so much for backing away from the ledge. no, he’d run at it full speed and taken a swan dive.)

xiao clumsily reciprocates it as he learns the shape of your mouth, focusing on the feel of your lips and the wet glide of your tongue over his. it’s not like his previous kisses, which had been heated, rushed, and sloppy, fueled by lust and ambition. your movements are sweet and gentle, as if kissing him any harder might scare him away. it’s the kind of kiss that makes him feel as if everything is as it should be. just for a minute.

it’s nice. 

#xiao x reader #xiao fluff #xiao x y/n #genshin x reader #my poor emotionally constipated baby #augustinewrites

[nyikondlovu]

If I’ve replayed the demo for @fallenlightsif like five times and fallen for each RO look away pls.

#fallenlightsif #listen- it’s too good #like #author ate that #the pen was hot #IF #interactive fiction #go read #Florian my beloved #E my emotionally constipated beloved #Marcie my sweet baby angel #d my clumsy giant himbo