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softjeon · 5 years

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The perfect Illusion | Pt. 5

• Pairing: Geisha!Jimin x Namjoon | Side-Pairing: Geisha!Jungkook x Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / Angst | Geisha!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 10k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of abusive behavior

*** please note that this story doesn’t mean to represent accurate geisha tradition, it was solely inspired by the beautiful art form, giving it a modern twist in a fictional universe and therefore has been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that.

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Leaning against the banister of the staircase, his eyes looked over the still empty theater room. Pursing his lips, he narrowed his eyes to observe closely as a few young men prepared the tables, setting everything up perfectly - just like he ordered. Hoseok was proud of his establishment. More than that. It was his everything.

His father had started this business with the intention of bring back the tradition and mixing it with beautiful new art forms. The perfect fantasy brought to life.

A smirk was securely placed on his lips as he walked down the last steps and further into the main room, making sure everything was perfect before the show would start. They didn’t have those exclusive shows every week, but only one per month. He wanted it to stay exclusive, just for those men and women who could afford it to be a member of this club. His eyes scanned the stage quickly, his gaze getting stuck on Jimin who was going over a couple of last steps with Jungkook.

One of his geisha had been getting sick to his despair and now Jungkook had to fill in his space as he was the closest of being one. Even though Jungkook should have been the one he watched to make sure that he would do it right, Hoseok couldn’t tear his gaze off Jimin. The younger’s movements were so fluid, so beautiful and he prided himself in the knowledge that most of it he learned from him. Jimin was his golden hummingbird, the one who brought the people in and Hoseok wouldn’t let him go. Not for a million bucks. He chuckled to himself. Not that anyone wanted to pay a million bucks to get Jimin out of here anyways.

With a smile, Hoseok turned on his heel and made his way along, the anticipation and excitement rushing through him as he thought of the many tips that would come flowing in for Jimin only to go right into his own pocket.

The geisha’s eyes followed Hoseok’s back for a little while, until Jungkook’s voice shook him out of it. He quickly smiled and began showing Jungkook the steps again. A month had passed so quickly and now it was only a week left for Jungkook’s mizuage. Everything was prepared and yet, everything was still a mess inside his heart.

Namjoon visited him as much as he could and both of their schedules allowed and Jimin couldn’t help but miss him dearly everyday. He wondered if Namjoon did the same. Smiling to himself, Jimin was gone in his daydreams, thinking about Namjoon again. Sometimes when they were alone in the tea rooms, they had intertwined their hands carefully and Jimin had a habit of playing with Namjoon’s fingertips. Their goodbyes at the end of every tea ceremony were getting harder and he wished he could just hug Namjoon, staying in his arms. In a way he was proud of himself that he still could keep his geisha persona up to a point. But the aching to touch Namjoon, to kiss him not only on his cheek (which was forbidden but he did it anyways) and to hold onto him and lean his head on his chest was growing bigger and bigger. He didn’t know what this was, nor was he sure if Namjoon felt the same for him. Inside of him was a garden blooming with all the flowers that Namjoon had planted inside of him. He was hoping, dreaming a lot more than he usually did, his mind gone and he wished to be somewhere else. Sometimes even someone else. Maybe meeting Namjoon would have been easier then. But dreams weren’t meant to come true, not in Jimin’s life.

Still he tried.

Taking on more customers, trying to get as much tip as possible, working even harder to pay off his debt than usual, ignoring the exhaustion that settled deep inside his bones. He sighed deeply, linking his arm with Jungkook as they made their way backstage to get themselves ready for the night. Tonight he would portray the perfect fantasy once more.

...

Namjoon and Yoongi had both taken their seats already. They hadn't watched one of the bigger performances since they had been there with Mr. Ling when Namjoon had seen Jimin dance for the first time. He was looking forward to it even if it meant having to watch from a distance instead of getting the privilege of being up close like he had in their private sessions. It would definitely feel different now that he didn't only see the outer beauty but everything else Jimin had shown him of his personality so far. Yoongi besides him nervously fidgeted with his tea cup. Jungkook had told him that he would dance a full on Geisha dance tonight and the youngers nervousness had somehow transferred over to Yoongi as if they were one heart in two people.

“Is he here? Did you see them?” Jungkook was nervously jumping from one foot to the other, making Jimin go crazy while he tried to fix the belt around his waist. It was a miracle already to make something like this stay on Jungkook’s tiny waist.

“I don’t know...stop Jungkook,” When the younger walked ahead, Jimin still trying to figure the perfect knot to keep it together, Jungkook took the curtain that separates the backstage area to the main room and peeked through. “He is here, Jiminie. He is here,” Jungkook bit his lip in excitement, a small gasp coming from his lips when the belt was tied tight around him. “Jungkook, come back please. If Hoseok…,” Jimin stopped and his eyes widened when he saw Jungkook wave towards Yoongi with the biggest smile. He quickly grabbed the youngers wrist and pulled it down and him behind the curtain, giving himself just a second of a glimpse towards Namjoon. It was enough to see that both men had suited up handsomely well tonight. “Calm down, please. You should focus!” Jimin reprimanded Jungkook and pushed him back into the room, while despite him better knowing, stole another glance himself. The make up he wore hid the blush that appeared, but the smile was evident nonetheless when his eyes fell on Namjoon’s. His heart skipped a beat.

"But how can I calm myself when Yoongi is here to watch my first real Geisha dance? I'm not even considered a grown up yet and still I'll dance a grown up dance for him. It all makes so much more sense now that he's found me. Before dancing was nice and I always enjoyed it but now it has meaning and...you're not listening, are you?" He wasn't mad, quite the opposite really because he hadn't seen such a hopeful and longing look for a long while in Jimin’s eyes.

Jimin could have stared at Namjoon forever, if it wasn’t for the sudden call of his name. It all shattered Hoseok called out for them and Jungkook quickly straightened, schooling his face into a more neutral expression while casting down his eyes. Hoseok cleared his throat, cocking his head aside with a dangerous glint in his eyes. “Jimin…”

“I...I was looking for you,” Jimin quickly explained, bowing his head respectfully and let Hoseok step in behind the curtain with him, “The youngers are very nervous and I would have liked for you to talk to them before they go on stage.” Jimin gulped heavily, but kept his sweet smile as he lied right in Hoseok’s face, watching him pass them.

“I am listening,” Jimin spoke softly, taking Jungkook aside with him, while Hoseok was talking to the young maikos. “It’s good that you feel like this, but you’re still here...still a maiko. You’re not supposed to wave at people. Y-you have main room service tonight and I’ll bet Yoongi will be there to wait for you, then you can talk to him all night, okay?” Jimin held onto his shoulders, his voice barely a whisper to keep Hoseok from eavesdropping. The geisha felt exhausted, tired and definitely wasn’t keen on keeping Jungkook from another punishment if something went wrong. “You’ll be free from this soon. I promise. Then you can do whatever you want with him...if you’re a geisha...you’ll get a lot of money, pay off all your debt. Tonight is important, because Hoseok already send out the invitations. They know your dancing tonight. They will watch.”

Jungkook's expression turned worried. Up close Jimin looked even more exhausted despite the make up. He could see it in his eyes, the downwards shape of his mouth, the tight line of his shoulders. "Minnie, are you okay?" Normally he didn't use the nickname when others were around but it slipped because of how worried he was. Over all bis excitement he had forgotten how much trouble Jimin was going through for him with all the extra training for bis mizuage, the extra shifts to make sure he could see Namjoon and the stuff Hoseok had him till midnight sometimes. "I'm sorry if I'm stressing you out. I didn't mean to. I promise I'll take care. Just look out for yourself tonight, okay? I'll manage, I swear."

Jimin shook his head, “It’s okay. You’re not stressing me out...I’m just...I think I’m overworking myself a little.” The geisha soothed over Jungkook’s arm when the music began to play for the first dance, trying a smile. “I know you’ll be fine. I just…,” He stopped, his eyes flickering over to Hoseok who watched the show from the side and to the other geishas. “I want you to be happy.” Placing a hand on Jungkook’s back like he always did, he motioned for them to walk to the side of the stage, because Jungkook’s number was next.

“But then you need to take a break, Jimin. I don’t want you to get sick.” Jungkook was staring helplessly at Jimin, while simultaneously getting more nervous for his stage. “I don’t have a choice,” Jimin whispered, “I want you to have a different fate than I do. My debt is only getting deeper but yours isn’t.” The geisha smiled at Jungkook with tear filled eyes, “Please show them how good you are tonight. That you’re worth more than any of us...even if you’re not a geisha yet. I don’t want my money to go to waste.” He pushed Jungkook slightly, nodding towards the stage, while the applause of the previous performance was still going on. Jimin had never told Jungkook about this, how he had always shared the money he made to give some of it to Jungkook’s fond. To pay off for him.

Jungkook didn’t belong here and the geisha had realized this a long time ago. The younger was too innocent, wonder still in his eyes that he didn’t want to be ruined. Unfortunately Jimin couldn’t keep him from the mizuage. He had tried. He really did. But it became so much harder, their debts only deeper. Jimin was daring to dream again, for himself, for Jungkook. And it was all because of Namjoon. A weak smile was secured on his lips. That’s why he tried even harder, working even more to gain more tips, keeping Jungkook out of trouble. Jimin couldn’t count the times he said ‘put it onto me’ to Hoseok, for something Jungkook did. Some might have said it’s heroic how he cared for Jungkook’s life more than his own, but Hoseok just called him stupid. But now that Jimin knew, he couldn’t keep Jungkook’s mizuage from happening, he could at least make sure that he wouldn’t have to stay in this establishment for far longer.

“Not long and you’ll be free and then you can be with Yoongi, I promise.”

If Jungkook had known he would have rebelled against Jimin's sacrificial habit immediately. The younger had no idea though and he knew that Jimin had a few more years of "living costs" in his debt account so he knew he had it "better". He had similar ideas than Jimin though, he wanted to work hard and gain lots of tips to get out of the teahouse, then find a job quickly and earn enough money to help pay Jimin's debt. Although it was what he dreamed of he was scared of the thought alone because he had never known anything outside of here and although he knew the rules of the tea house perfectly and all the dances he was supposed to known he had no real qualities that would make it easy for him to get a job. When the lights changed and the music followed Jungkook quickly banished every thought that wasn't about the dance he was about to performance and then stepped out on the stage. He indulged himself with one last look at Yoongi before casting down his eyes and gracefully getting into position.

Jimin watched Jungkook from the side with a smile on his face. The younger was giving it his all, pouring out his emotions in the dance while he was mesmerizing the audience. “Have you thought about teaching a new maiko, Jimin?” Hoseok’s voice send a shiver down the geisha’s spine, his muscles locking up instinctively. “I could let you earn a bit more if you teach more than one, you know...I see you working so hard, babydoll.” His fingertips stroke along his neck and down his shoulder, but Jimin shook his head nonetheless, trying to will away Hoseok’s touch. There was no way Jimin could go through this again and even if Hoseok offered him more money for teaching another maiko or two, it would only leave him with a broken heart again to see someone grow to become someone’s fantasy. He didn’t want that anymore. He just wanted to get out of here. Run away and into Namjoon’s hold.

“I see. At least you always will be mine. You won’t leave me my sweet little hummingbird? Not even for a handsome businessman, right. Always mine.” A kiss was placed right behind his ear and Jimin stood still, his eyes wide, whole body screaming to finally be freed of his touch. To others it only looked like he was whispering something in his ear, a sweet little promise or order to do well, for Jimin it was hell.

When Jungkook came off stage and rushed to his side, it felt like Jimin was in a daze. He smiled towards the younger, wanting to tell him how good he had been, how beautiful he looked while dancing when he stumbled onto the stage himself. For a moment Jimin felt utterly lost on the big wooden stage, trying to find his position. Hoseok’s words repeating itself in his mind over and over again. He began to dance, moving to the music smoothly - only that Jimin felt nothing. Absolutely nothing but exhaustion. The amount of hours he had been working to pay off Jungkook’s debt to make sure the younger would be out of here as soon as possible.

God, he was so close, so so close.

The way he tried to pay off more of his own, doing extra work and extra training, taking on even more customers just to be able to see Namjoon again. The heartache. The longing. The worries about Jungkook, his mizuage, Yoongi and...Namjoon. Jimin spun around, his gaze flickering over to him as he spotted the handsome man in the audience as if his eyes knew exactly were to search for him. The urge to just jump down and into his arms was overwhelming him and in midst of his next turn, Jimin tumbled, tearing a gasp from the audience as he fell down.

There was an awful sound, a thump from when Jimin’s knees hit the floor and then the sound of something tearing as the force of Jimin’s fall ripped the delicate silk at the seams. There was a rupture on his robe all the way down his side now and when Jimin tried to get up it gaped open, showing off his undergarment. There were murmurs in the crowd, hushed whispers, someone chuckled. As Jimin just stood there and didn’t move the music felt suddenly wrong and too loud. Hoseok gave the sound technician a sign and the music faded until Jimin was standing there on stage, without music, trying to cover up his ripped robe, visibly shaken.

Namjoon had wanted to get up almost immediately but a hard, almost painfully tight grip from Yoongi hold him back. The older shook his head, a warning in his eyes and his lips pressed tight. Namjoon understood; if he would go to Jimin in front of everyone he would only embarrass Jimin further and definitely make it worse but he could barely take it to see him so lost and helpless out in the open like this.

The curtain fell soon after, leaving Jimin a shivering mess the moment he couldn’t see the audience anymore. Now there was nothing, but fear left. He had ruined another costume, had fallen and revealed too much in front of all the men that Hoseok had deemed important enough to invite tonight. Not once in his lifetime had he fallen on stage.

Not a single time.

Jimin still stood there, gulping heavily against the lump that he felt and the tears that threatened to spill over. Taking in a sharp breath and a step forward, Jimin felt the pain rush through his thigh, as if someone had beaten him up. It would definitely leave an ugly bruising tomorrow, that much he was sure of.

“Jimin!”

The geisha jerked at the sudden call of his name. One sounded angry, the other disappointed while another one sounded just worried. Jimin didn’t even make it all the way down into the backstage area, when there was someone groping him, examining the costume he had just ruined.

“How dare you embarrass me like that? It’s ruined! It’s fucking ruined!” It wasn’t clear if Hoseok was talking about the silk or the performance or his reputation but he sounded angry enough for it to be all three of them. Jin was pulling the robe off of Jimin without a word, he just roughly made Jimin hold up his arms so that he could look at it without having to grope Jimin any further. The gaze he sent Jimin’s way was pure venom. When he had examined it more closely he spoke up, voice sounding way too tight for it to be normal .

“That’s the second robe you went through this month. The second. Others don’t ruin that many in a whole year. You really care that little about my work? About the effort I put into each and every dress to make it fit you perfectly? The colors and embroidery I chose to highlight your charms and features - and you thank me by ripping it. On stage. As if you’re wearing some cheap handiwork that can’t even take a simple move. I think you should go out naked from now on. That would suit you better.” He threw the robe at Jimin who barely caught it and then left him standing there, while Hoseok was still ranting in the background.

Jungkook was standing at the side caught in between everything, not able to help Jimin in any way but unable to leave because he would never turn his back on Jimin like that. Sol he stood there, motionless while the tears were threatening to spill from seeing Jimin so under pressure, head hung low in shame.

“I…I am sorry,” Jimin was apologizing repeatedly, his voice quiet, feeling awfully small in this moment. He flinched with every time Hoseok was yelling at him, Jin’s voice tumbling over and he could do nothing but simply standing there, listening and nodding. “I know…I don’t know what happened…” Jimin shook his head, “I stumbled over my own feet. I am sorry.” He was still holding onto the robe until Jin stormed back in, a box in his hand that was filled with everything he needed to fix something in an emergency. Though the robe didn’t need that anymore. It was ruined.

“Wash yourself up and get into bed. I don’t think you should be working tonight. Jungkook, make sure he’s in bed, before you do service tonight. We’re talking about this tomorrow.” Hoseok’s order was clear and still it cut through him, making him want to say something, tell him how he was fine that he would be okay doing his usual appointments. But it was no use and the geisha let Jungkook pull him towards his makeup table, taking one of the wipes to caress softly over his face, with each stroke taking off more and more make up. One by one the geishas disappeared, leaving only the three of them.

Jungkook’s hands were warm and gentle on Jimin’s face but he couldn’t speak because he was crying, doing his best to not let it show so there were hot tears dripping over his face while he was still doing his work properly. It only was hard to breathe because it took so much strength and energy to control himself like that and not break into sobs as well. He wanted to help Jimin to make it all okay - but he couldn’t, he could only watch him hurt helplessly.

“You’re useless. In all those years, I never had someone that ripped that many clothes. You’re really adamant on staying here, huh? Well, you probably wouldn’t be able to make it out there anyway.” Jin’s voice was still audible as he examined the robe further. Jimin said nothing while Jungkook was taking care off him, both trying to ignore Jin’s ranting about the geisha’s fate. “You can be happy Hoseok even lets you wear this expensive stuff. If it would have been my choice I’d never given it to you…don’t know what he sees in you anyways.” Jimin bit his lip hard, closing his eyes for a moment to try and blend out what Jin was saying. When the other was finally gone, the robe carelessly thrown in aside, Jimin took a deep breath.

Only when Jin had turned his back on them did Jungkook dare to do something as intimate as hug Jimin, quick and short because he didn’t want to burden him any further but he needed to console the geisha so badly he felt like he would burst if he couldn’t make Jimin feel a little better.

Jimin took a hold on the younger’s wrist, smiling at him as much as he could. “Please, it’s okay. You can go and do your services. I’ll be fine from here…I will find the way to our room.” Nodding reassuringly, he motioned for Jungkook to go. Hesitating, the younger looked at Jimin, before placing a kiss on the top of the geisha’s hair. It was evident in the way Jimin ordered him to go, that he wanted to be alone right now and not talk about what had happened. Maybe he was ready to do so tomorrow, or the day after… Jungkook wasn’t sure but he would respect Jimin’s wish.

“Are.. are you sure you want to..?” When Jimin confirmed again he took his things and gave him a little bow because he didn’t know what else to do. He just hoped that Jimin wouldn’t stay here on his own and let it all play over in his head. He would wear himself down over it if he didn’t have someone to pull him out of his own head from time to time. He felt awful leaving him here like that. But if Hoseok would see that he wasn’t at his service he would punish him. Severely, considering the mood he was in. He wasn’t as strong as Jimin he broke so easily. “I’m.. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mean to yourself, Minnie.” He whispered under his breath before turning to hurry off to do his evening duties. “Call for me if you need anything, okay?” He added hesitantly, but the geisha seemed already far gone in his mind, staring into the reflection of himself in the mirror. So, Jungkook turned on his heel, opening up the curtain in a rush to get back to where he should be already when he almost let out a scream from getting startled, pushing his hand onto his mouth to muffle the sound.

“Namjoon!”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, Kook.” Namjoon pulled down the curtain behind him to minimize the risk that someone would see him in here. Which would certainly be the worst right now, for Jimin as much as himself.

Jimin snapped around immediately at the sound of Namjoon’s voice, his blood-shot, puffy eyes looking at him fearfully and a little wary as if the other would tell him how disappointed he was himself and that he never wanted to see him again. When he came over, his eyes stared up at him, trying to search for the security Jimin always felt whenever he was with him.

Namjoon didn’t beat around the bush but instead went straight for Jimin, gently squeezing his shoulder (while everything inside of him screamed for a reassuring hug and anything else that would make him feel like he could protect Jimin for a while, if necessary with his body). “Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself when you fell?”

“You’re not allowed to be here,” Was the only answer the geisha could think of, staring at Jungkook then back at Namjoon. “What are you doing here?” There were still tears falling down his cheeks while he talked and Jungkook stood a bit unsure at the door.

“I needed to see you, to make sure you were okay.”

Namjoon’s words ripped right through Jimin’s heart and the geisha just, honest to god, wanted to sob - but instead a sound coming from the other side only made him awfully aware of how easily someone could see them, could know about them. One more mistake and Jimin was done for. But he needed Namjoon now. More than anything else. And his gaze spoke a thousand words when he looked at him.

Jimin was in love.

Rushing over to Jungkook, Jimin leaned in, whispering, “Can you please take my clothes in my room. Please, Kookie, please.” When the younger nodded, Jimin wiped over his cheeks, kissing him there softly, telling him that they needed to hurry before Hoseok would do his usual check ups. Jungkook turned around to grab Jimin’s things, while the geisha wrapped his hand around Namjoon’s wrist to pull him along and to the steps that lead over the stage.

Namjoon send a thankful look at Jungkook who was helping them keep their secret once again and then concentrated back on Jimin. The boy looked even worse than he had feared though considering what a perfectionist Jimin was and how much he depended on an absolutely flawless reputation it was no wonder that the incident had shaken him. Even without pressure and with supportive people around you messing up on stage wasn’t nice. Though he doubted very much that Hoseok had tried to calm Jimin down. And he remembered how stressed Jimin had been about having to pay for a new robe last time. He was probably out of his mind with the added costs for this one.

Jimin didn’t say a word, just hurried over the now dark stage to the other side, opening a door that lead right to their private habitation. His hand let go off Namjoon’s wrist, only to intertwine their fingers as he motioned for Namjoon to keep hidden in the shadows, as they hurried towards the main garden. His gaze was flickering around in the dark, trying to spot anyone that could be out here tonight - but everyone was inside working. No one was allowed out in the garden at night. Especially no geisha in company with a customer.

Namjoon followed Jimin where he was leading him, trying to not make any sounds and alarm someone of their presence. However even shaken and with his view clouded with tears Jimin was the one walking light-footed ahead while Namjoon had some problems to be as quiet.

Jimin was panting, tears dripping down his cheeks as he pulled Namjoon all the way to the back of the japanese garden to a pavillon that one couldn’t see from afar, perfectly hidden in the dark. Opening the door with his key, Jimin wordlessly pushed the other inside and closed the door again, placing his hands against the wood to keep himself steady. Nonetheless, the sobs began to shake him from the core, making him slide down onto his knees as he desperately tried to keep a hold on himself.

Namjoon had waited for Jimin to bring them somewhere where they could talk. Though when he turned Jimin was on his knees, barely holding it together while his shoulders shook from the force of the sobs he tried to suppress and Namjoon felt like talking wasn’t that important right now. What the younger needed was support, maybe a hug, maybe to be held until he felt like he wasn’t at risk of falling apart any longer. So he carefully kneeled down next to him and then reached out to pull Jimin into his arms. The younger was stiff and cold in his arms and Namjoon wondered if the stress kept his muscles pulled tightly or if Jimin wasn’t used enough to being comforted so that he couldn’t relax that easily. Both were thoughts that hurt him because he wished nothing but happiness for Jimin.

Jimin didn’t know what to do anymore. Helplessly he shifted closer to Namjoon, wrapping his arms around his neck to hide in the crook, crying and holding onto him as tight as he could. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Jimin’s muffled cries were painful to feel against his own body, Namjoon’s hand soothing down the youngers back. It took awhile for Jimin to calm down enough to talk properly again.

“I can’t do this anymore. I wanted to be so good and he ruined it. He...he knew it would make me nervous,” The geisha leaned his head on Namjoon’s shoulder, soft little hiccups following his words as he tried not to sob again, feeling too tired. But sudden panic washed over his expression and Jimin pulled back, “He knows, oh god he knows. Of course he does and he won’t let me go.” Jimin gazed up at Namjoon, a faint, sad smile on his lips. Hoseok had known that Jimin was overworking himself to get more money, for Jungkook and for himself. He must have put one and one together, seeing how Jimin was eager to make sure Jungkook could leave and possibly be the next one. And even though his debt was way too high, the risk that he would lose Jimin not very much so, as it would take years for him to work it off with that workload. “Jin has always been on his side,” Jimin mumbled, holding onto Namjoon’s hand tightly as they sat on the floor of the dark pavillon, “I never fell before...and I don’t fall...I just don’t.”

Jimin’s words didn’t make any sense to him; he didn’t know who ‘he’ was and what Jimin was talking about. It was almost impossible to understand what he was saying through his sobs and tears but Namjoon was glad that the younger was talking to him at all so he just let him spill what was burdening him, hoping it would soothe the boy’s heart a little while he held him and stroked his back and that everything that he could to make the younger feel like he wasn’t alone in this. Only when the younger had calmed down a little, his sobs fading and the tears slowly drying out did he dare to ask further. “Will there be consequences because you fell? Are you scared because of that? Or are you ashamed?” He figured that it probably was something of both so he added, “You don’t have to be, okay? No one likes you any less for being human. You are still as graceful and amazing as a dancer as you were before.”

Nodding softly, Jimin wiped over his eyes with the fabric of his robe. “Of course, there will be. I’m a disgrace to them. I…I…’m not supposed to be human. I’m supposed to be perfect, Joon. No mistakes. No falling. Not me…I’m the hummingbird.” He hiccupped, sniffling quietly, “I need to pay it back. The robe. The appointments. The money he is losing because of me.” A painful sob broke from him and Jimin buried his face in the palm of his hands. “I’m back to the start. I tried so hard, Namjoon. I really did. But I’m just pathetic.” He was taking short, anxious breaths, his grip around Namjoon’s arm tightening. “I should have known. But he’s so close…Jungkook doesn’t have much left anymore. After his mizuage, if I work some more…then…maybe a week or two, then he can go. He could go, Namjoon.” He was looking at him, his red puffy eyes, pleading at him but Jimin wasn’t even sure what for.

Namjoon tried his best to soothe him but it felt like he was slipping from him further and further. “Jimin, you’re not a disgrace. Please don’t believe what they are telling you in here. I’m... I’m sorry that you had to grow up like that…,” He bit his lip, caught between his morals and trying to comfort Jimin. He wanted to end this. To keep Jungkook from being sold and Jimin from being treated like this. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t just give anything away for another person. He had a company there were people who relied on their monthly income which he provided. Risking the company would mean not only risking ruining his own but also Yoongi’s and all of his employees. It wasn’t fair. “Maybe... if you tell me how much it is you owe Hoseok I could give you some of it? Maybe it would help if you could start paying it off. You said it yourself you normally don’t fall. You will get there someday, Jimin. And even if Jungkook will chose to leave the tea house you won’t be alone. I’ll still be there. And I could take him with me so you could see each other or... I don’t know how we will do it exactly but we will make it work. I won’t leave you here alone you can trust me on this. No matter what.”

“Y-you will take care of him? If he’s out there…please, Namjoon. I don’t want to ask for more but please don’t let him walk the streets alone. You know, Jungkook. He’s an angel. He can’t…he needs someone to show him the way…at least at first. Please,” Reaching out for Namjoon, he cupped his cheeks sweetly with his small hands. “I don’t deserve you, Namjoon.” Jimin let the tears fall on their own down his cheeks, “But he won’t let me go. He made that clear tonight. Hoseok, he…he came to me right before the performance.” Mindlessly, Jimin wiped over the spot where Hoseok had kissed him, closing his eyes as he shivered trying to forget about the awful feeling, “He knows I’ve been working even harder. To get more money for Jungkook…and for myself. I never dared to hope again. But it was dumb of me to think that I could have this…a dream…you. Maybe it was never meant to be. Because no matter what I will do, he will find a way to make my debt even deeper. All my clothes are perfectly fitted, Namjoon…don’t you see?” Jimin couldn’t help to feel like he was going a little mad himself. “No matter where I start…what I try…it won’t be enough. He doesn’t want me to go, so he won’t let me.”

“Breathe Jimin, please, don’t let this swallow you whole. He can’t keep you in here forever. You will get out sooner or later. I can visit a lawyer if you want. Ask if there are any possibilities to break the contract. Maybe you can get out of the tea house and pay off your debt in monthly payments. This is not how your whole life is going to be. Please don’t do anything stupid. Whatever the consequences will be don’t stress yourself. If it will be five years or ten I will wait for you. And I’ll do everything to help you get out rather sooner than later.”

Jimin just looked at Namjoon with an empathic look, smiling, nodding whenever he was telling him a sweet hopeful new idea, but he had no hope anymore. “My whole life has already been this. I am sold to this house. There’s nothing a lawyer can do, nothing that Hoseok will let happen. He made it clear that I am his.” Shaking his head, Jimin shivered from the cold he felt. His heart was aching so painfully that it made Jimin gasp when Namjoon told him so lovingly that he would wait for him. Jimin averted his gaze, fumbling around with Namjoon’s hand, intertwining their hands just to let go again and repeat the motion. The geisha sighed deeply, trying to take deep breaths. “This is my fate. I had accepted it before, and I will learn to do so again. I’m just a geisha, Namjoon. You’re supposed to like me, what I portray, my dances, my whole being it’s…” There were tears cascading down his cheeks, but Jimin didn’t sob anymore, he just felt horribly lost and hurt, “I was dreaming that a kiss from you would make me more than what I am now, because you make me feel like I have so much more, that I am worth to be listening to…but I’m just that. Just a geisha and you’ve already spent enough money on me. It’s only going to waste. I don’t want you to wait for me.” Despite his words, Jimin held on a little tighter to Namjoon, feeling awfully lost in this moment, “You shouldn’t fall for a geisha.”

“So what you’re saying is that you want me to stop seeing you?” Namjoon could feel everything in him rebelling against the thought alone. But it wasn’t solely his decision to make. It was Jimin’s life they were talking about and he wouldn’t force himself onto the younger. If Jimin thought that returning back to his everyday life without Namjoon’s presence would make him feel better then how could he tell himself that seeing him was for them both? “If you’re saying all this to somehow ‘protect’ me in a way or because you think that there’s no hope then please don’t. Because there is hope, for as long as you are breathing there is the possibility for things to get better. And it is my money so I can choose what I spend it on. But if you think that Hoseok would leave you alone if I let go of you and if this is really what you want - then I’m sorry for pushing you so far. I didn’t mean to make it worse for you or to make you hurting because I’m showing you what you can’t have right now. If you want me to then I will leave you alone. It’s your decision. Your life, your choice.”

Jimin’s heart was racing. He felt dizzy and out of place, paling visibly. There was a storm of thoughts, one that was hurting his head and his heart simultaneously. It took a moment for Jimin to speak up again, the silence not even bothering him because his thoughts were so loud that he couldn’t think really. “Hoseok won’t leave me alone no matter if you here or not.” Wiping over his face, he caused it to grow paler than it already was. Outside, Jimin could hear the rain falling heavily onto the rooftop as if it decided to cry with him, to share his pain. “I don’t want you to go. I never wanted you to go. I wish it was you…I wish it was always you,” Jimin was crying again, shaking his head and pulling his knees in as if he tried to hide from something, or someone. “I want him to stop. I don’t want to be touched from anyone but you. But I’m chained to this, making you stay, is not fair. It’s not fair to you.” He gulped heavily, stilling completely while Jimin just felt completely exhausted, “I don’t know how to feel hope anymore. Namjoon, please…”

It was a horrible feeling to see the person he loved basically breaking down right in front of him and he could do nothing; nothing that would help Jimin right now that would keep him from having to go back to Hoseok and the main area later. “I’m here, Jimin. And I’ll stay for as long as you want me too. You are a beautiful dancer and you will pay off your debt - or I’ll pay it off for you whatever works first. And then you can move in with me if you want and you will never have to see Hoseok again. Ever. And you can forget that he’s ever... ever…,” He still couldn’t speak it out loud as if he would speak it into existence if he reminded Jimin of it and could keep it from being real otherwise. “Just dance, Minnie. Please, you can’t give up now.”

“M-move in with you?” Jimin blinked the tears away, carelessly wiping over his cheeks. His heart was still knocking hard against his chest, every beat hurt. He nodded slowly, reaching for Namjoon’s hand to place his cheek in his palm, to feel his warmth closer, to make sure he wasn’t dreaming this. “I don’t have anything, Namjoon. Nothing to offer…why are you here with me?” His voice was barely a whisper as he looked at the one he loved so dearly, “I don’t deserve you.”

“You don’t need to offer me something to be of value to me.” He had hoped that this was clear from how he treated him but apparently years of only being ‘worth’ something if you could earn money with it had done its damage. “I like you for who you are as a person. And I’m here because I miss you whenever I can’t see you.” He sighed, caressing Jimin’s face, “I don’t think that you can really assess what you ‘deserve’ and neither can I but I think love is something everyone should get so...maybe you can still accept mine?”

“Love? You…mean,” It took a small second to hit Jimin full force, his expression turning overwhelmed for a second. Namjoon loved him. He loved him. Just as much as he loved Namjoon. Jimin couldn’t take this any longer, he needed him closer, to feel what he always wanted to feel. Placing a hand on Namjoon’s chest, he could feel his heartbeat underneath, the words tumbling over, “K-kiss me, please.”

They were breaking so many rules by this and yet Namjoon couldn’t deny Jimin what he was longing for himself so badly. It only took a slight nudge to bring their lips together as they were already so close and then he could feel the plushness of Jimin’s warm mouth against his own. He tasted a little salty from the tears and it made him hold the boy tighter and kiss him more deeply. No one could take this from them, not this moment they shared and not their feelings. Jimin was pulling Namjoon over him, laying down on the wooden floor just to feel him everywhere over him. Jimin wanted to drown in him, because only in his hold did he feel safe, nowhere else but him. He needed to feel this, the protectiveness, the safety of Namjoon over him. “I love you,” The geisha whispered against his lips, kissing Namjoon back so eagerly and losing himself in his touch. “Why can’t you just take me with you,” Soft little pleads whispered into the kiss, questions neither of them really had an answer to, “I love you, only you, please.”

The sudden change in position had Namjoon gasping - and then he was on top of Jimin. He ignored the warning in the back of his head in favor of kissing Jimin again and again, he was drowning in it and he loved it. He wanted time to stop right here so that he could keep kissing Jimin forever, just the two of them with nothing else mattering. And then Jimin told him that he loved him too and Namjoon had to take a break from kissing him because he smiled so much it hurt but he couldn’t stop because Jimin loved him too. “I would, you know? Take you away with me. Kidnap you from Hoseok take you out of the country if necessary.” There would be police involved and he would be charged for kidnapping and stealing someone’s property (Cause that’s how those boys were treated when they were still in debt) - and still he would do it if Jimin asked him to, trying to run off with him into some foreign country that wouldn’t turn them in.

Jimin could have kissed Namjoon forever like this, entangled in his arms, dwelling in the love, the warmth that he was giving him – something he had never felt like this before. He was giggling softly, whenever Namjoon kissed down his neck, just to steal one more from his lips. He kissed the tip of his nose, making Jimin blush, then he kissed his cheeks and lips again. Namjoon’s hands felt so soft, holding him carefully, soothing over his side, whispering sweet promises in his skin. “Don’t stop, please.”

Jimin just kissed Namjoon again, deeper this time, pouring in his love and how thankful he was for him to spark this little bit of hope in him over and over again.

“But this is ours right? Those moments?” Jimin asked carefully, “Even if I’ll be here forever…you’ll come again right? I’ll try harder, do more…I promise. I do every dance show, every performance…” A sudden sharp pain at the side of his thigh let Jimin stiffen up, drawing in a painful gasp. “Of course. This is ours. I’ll be there for you.” He shifted his weight a little and that’s when Jimin gasped. He had his eyes forcefully closed; his neck bared as Jimin had reached for Namjoon’s wrist to keep it from soothing further down his thigh. “It’s okay…it’s okay…I’m fine,” Jimin took in a sharp breath, writhing underneath Namjoon, “I just haven’t looked at it, yet…”

It took Namjoon a second to realize that he was lying more or less on where Jimin had fallen and he immediately pulled away, trying to take a look at it but Jimin wouldn't let him. Namjoon sighed deeply but complied, keeping his hands off of Jimin’s thigh. “You have a doctor in here, don’t you? Can you promise me that you will make sure it gets treated? Not by you who would dismiss it and just ignore the pain but someone who actually cares for your body?”

Jimin bit his lip and nodded, “I-I promise.” He let Namjoon easily pull him in against him, as he leaned against the wall again but making sure he didn’t hurt the younger further. Jimin leaned his head on his chest, wrapping his arms around Namjoon’s waist tightly (or as far as he could reach with how broad Namjoon and how tiny he was next to him).

“I can’t go without him.” He whispered, “I wish I could just run off, but Jungkook needs me here. I can’t leave without him. I can’t let Hoseok let his anger out on him if I vanish before him.” Jimin played with the hem of Namjoon’s shirt, “So, I have to make sure he gets out of here first. No matter what.” Looking up at Namjoon, he stole one more kiss from him. “I just need his mizuage to be fine, to give him enough money. That he isn’t an asshole…that claims him still after it’s over.”

“I get it. And as I told you I can wait. You can be there for Kook for as long as you need to be. And I’ll be there for you.” He watched as Jimin played with his shirt, lost in thoughts and so cute that he wanted to just pull him back in and never let him go. “Claim him? What do you mean? I thought it was only allowed to buy someone in their mizuage night and then never again no matter the event? Isn’t that what tea houses advertise with; that they have beautiful people as trained and educated and pure as they could be?” It was an affront to compare a tea house to a brothel, Yoongi had told him that. He still had a hard time thinking of the coming of age ritual as anything else but sex work but he’d understood that everyone else didn’t. “I’m sure he will be safe. And you can stay here until he’s out of the tea house. That’s totally fine.”

“L-like that he wants to have him again. T-the one who paid you…t-they have some kind of ownership over you, haven’t they?” Jimin was getting nervous, shifting in Namjoon’s hold to blink up at him, “Y-yes, I mean…that’s true but…” His eyes widened when he realized how dumb he had been. How many lies Hoseok had told him to keep him in order, to make him do exactly what he wanted him to. Just a word about Jungkook and Jimin was on his knees, begging him not to hurt the younger. Jimin was shaking, his lips trembling, “Y-you’re right. H-he’s safe. Just one night, that’s…that’s all.”

Namjoon wasn’t stupid, there was something really wrong in the way Jimin reacted.

“Wait, that’s true, isn’t it?” Namjoon took Jimin at the arms to make him look at him again. “Yoongi told me. Basically everyone else I asked be it directly or the internet, it all said that if there is even a single exception then the owner isn’t allowed to call his establishment a teahouse anymore or sell his employees as geishas. He would lose all status. Hoseok wouldn’t risk that. Or has he? Has he done that, Jimin?”

Jimin had flinched hard when Namjoon grabbed him and even though it wasn’t a rough grip, it still had him whimpering. He wasn’t sure what to say, he felt like Namjoon was holding him up against the wall and shaking him – but in reality, they just stared at each other until Jimin couldn’t take it anymore. “He…never let a customer have a geisha again, no.” Jimin answered, but he still couldn’t dare to look at Namjoon again. “But he is the owner, right? He can do whatever he wants…it doesn’t matter.”

Namjoon sighed deeply, letting go of Jimin. “That’s... good, I guess.” He carefully caressed along Jimin’s jaw. “Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t wish that on anyone but it could have meant that Hoseok would lose permission to have his teahouse. And I don’t know how exactly such a situation would be handled but I guess it would have been easier for you to get out of your contract. Maybe it would have even been nullified. Anyway…” He stopped short when he realized how else you could interpret Jimin’s last words.

“Wait, you don’t mean… you weren’t trying to say…,” He bit his lip, his gut clenching painfully when the severity of those implications hit him. “You would tell me if… if someone was hurting you, right? You... you’re safe here, aren’t you? I mean, Hoseok is mean to you and he treats you wrongly and the whole thing is fucked up a little but he doesn’t… he wouldn’t… would he?”

Jimin’s eyes burned from the tears in his eyes. His whole body was trembling from the way he tried to suppress everything. But there was no use anymore. He had been breaking every rule there was already. Jimin had nothing to lose, but Namjoon and he was so afraid of it. That Namjoon would decide he wasn’t worth it, that he was disgusting, damaged goods.

“Hoseok...he,” Jimin choked on his words a little, feeling like his throat was closing in, “When I had my mizuage, he bid on me. Higher than anyone else. I thought it was nice, you know. I didn’t think about it...just thought that it’s someone I know, that I thought had the best intention.” Raking a hand through his hair nervously, Jimin was too embarrassed to look at Namjoon. “But I think he even knew back then that I was easy prey. I told Jungkook that Hoseok trusts in me, that he confines in me for the shows - but he doesn’t. But please don’t tell him...please, don’t say anything to him about this. He’s too sweet, too innocent.” He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as if he wasn’t even worth a better treatment. “He had seen the way I cared for Jungkook and Hoseok uses it against me. I can’t believe I’ve been so dumb to believe that he had a right…”

Shaking his head, Jimin chuckled humorlessly, “If I had...would it change anything though? It made sense to me. The debt, the mizuage...my body belonged to Hoseok. I am sorry, Namjoon. I am so sorry.” The geisha held on tightly to his shirt, wanting to seek Namjoon’s warmth again but now wasn’t so sure if the other even wanted him anymore. “If it wasn’t for my maiko,” He gazed up at Namjoon, “Jungkook still believes that all it needs for me to be free is a proposal...he doesn’t know about Hoseok’s ways and I want to keep it that way.” Reaching for the other’s hand, Jimin held on tightly to him, trying to read the other’s expression but Namjoon just stared at him, way too pale for Jimin’s liking. “Please, Joon...say something…”

“No…,” Namjoon shook his head, his mind in a haze. It felt like he had forgotten how to breathe properly and his inside had turned into acid burning everything in their wake. Hoseok had abused Jimin - while telling him that it was his right to do so. And Jimin trusted and believed him because it was the only thing he could do. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that it had happened to Jimin and that he had just learned about it now, unable to prevent anything from happening. How often had Hoseok asked Jimin to come to his room while Namjoon had been happily dreaming of seeing Jimin again? How often did Jimin have to hide the traces of what Hoseok did with him on his body for no one else to see? And he hadn’t told anyone because… there was no one who would have listened really besides Jungkook and Jimin had tried to keep him innocent.

“How... how could he do that? Why? That’s not… how dare he…,” He felt so helpless, so utterly useless. Because even though now he knew he still couldn’t do anything. And even if Hoseok called Jimin to him this very night he couldn’t help. “I’m sorry, I’m so very, truly sorry for… for everything. You shouldn’t stay here... you mustn’t. I want you to get out of there as soon as Jungkook can leave. I don’t care if you are ‘in debt’. That monster lost any right for compensation the very second he laid a hand on you.”

Jimin couldn’t help but kiss Namjoon again. It felt like the other needed the caresses, the safety, and the reassurance now, holding on to him to make him see that Jimin was here and with him and he was okay. More than that, because he was with Namjoon now. Shifting onto his lap, Jimin deeply kissed him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. He nuzzled down his neck, placing sweet loving pecks on his jaw and neck. “I will be out of here one day,” Jimin whispered, kissing him again and again, staring up in his eyes, “Can you lawyer help me? Can you help me...please, don’t leave me, Namjoon.”

“I’ll call someone I trust tonight the minute I am home. I don’t know how exactly we’ll do this but I promise you, you won’t have to play by Hoseok’s rules any longer. Your body is yours and only yours. No one else is entitled to anything you don’t want to give freely and willingly. If he tries to touch you again make up an excuse and then call me. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep him from touching you again. Just hold on, Minnie. And if you feel like you can’t take it any minute longer then I’ll take both you and Kookie out of there. I don’t care for the consequences.” He sealed his promise with a kiss adding softly, “Of course I’ll stay. I’d never leave you. Not now, not ever.”

Jimin fell into the kiss easily, not wanting to leave the taste of his sweet mouth for a second. The promise was whispered against his, before Jimin closed his lips on Namjoon’s again. He settled on his lap a little more, letting Namjoon pull him closer as they kissed for what seemed like an eternity. And only when the rain outside slowly subsided, did Jimin lean onto Namjoon’s chest, feeling like all of his strength has left him, his limbs too heavy to move and he could only exist in his hold. He wanted to stay like this, never part from him again. He couldn’t imagine how Namjoon had wormed himself a way into his heart without him noticing, slowly making sure that he’d never forget about him. Namjoon was inked onto his heart now. Forever.

“I think its best when I let you out through the backdoor of the garden, Joon.” Jimin whispered, drawing little patterns onto Namjoon’s shirt, “If you come back in…I’m not sure if someone will see you. You can just go all the way around then without anyone noticing you.”

“Yeah, that’s probably best. I’d say we’re better safe than sorry from now on. We will have all the time in the world later on. I want you to be safe and don’t give Hoseok another “reason” to reprimand you.” He kissed Jimin one last time, not on his lips though but on his forehead in a sweet, protective gesture.

It was the hardest to part from him again, when he just felt like he was able to be with Namjoon more closely now. He held onto his hand as long as he could until the metal bars of the gate didn’t let him anymore. Nonetheless there was a smile on his lips when he walked back to his room, far gone in his daydreams about Namjoon, in the pure thought of being with him – somewhere safe, somewhere where no one could hurt him anymore.

Because Namjoon wouldn’t let anyone harm him.

Jimin sighed to himself, quietly opening the door, when he noticed both beds being still perfectly made like they had this morning.

No Jungkook.

Nothing.

Where was he? Was he still in the main room? The fear rushed through his veins so fast, that it made him dizzy again, the anxious feel back in his bones. Jimin gasped breathlessly and spun around quickly, thinking that maybe Hoseok had caught up to Jungkook or…

Jimin froze in his movements, when his eyes met a white shirt, his gaze wandering up each white button that was stretching with every heave of breathe the man took until he met his eyes.

“Hoseok,” Jimin gulped heavily, trying not to sound too nervous while hiding his hands behind his back to keep them from shaking. Taking a step towards him, Jimin simultaneously stepped back, blinking up at the taller man, eyes wide as he tried a wavering smile.

“Where were you? You think you can do whatever you want? That you can break whatever rules you don’t like at the moment. I thought I had made myself clear when I had told you to go back into your room. Do you want to embarrass me so badly? Running around in a ripped robe and showing your body to everyone who wants to see? I thought I raised you a geisha not a subordinate child. You need to remember that there are consequences for every action Jimin. And believe me I don’t like to remind you, I hate this just as much as you do. But if you don’t learn then I won’t repeat myself over and over again, I’ll just have to be more strict with you.” He gripped Jimin by his wrist and pulled him out into the hallway. “Think about why this is happening, Jimin and don’t you dare blame me for this. It’s your own fault, entirely yours.”

A/N: And I oooop.....aaaahghgh I am sorryyyyyyyy haha lmao anyways, I hope you still enjoyed this chapter lmao Please leave a comment down below! Cat and I love hearing your thoughts. ❤

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