“Napoleon’s Battle Plan” the twenty third episode of the first season of Sports Night, is the best episode of the show in my opinion for these scattered reasons…
One of Dan’s first lines in the episode: “We’re grown men with important jobs who are standing in our underwear. Let’s sing a song”.
Dan wondering if there are people in the building across the street who can see them in their underwear.
When told that Casey and Dan don’t have their pants, Dana asks if there was an industrial accident that claimed the lives of both their pants.
The show showing it can be dated AF that when Dana couldn’t sleep she studied a catalogue… is there anything more 90s than a catalogue
“You cracking wise with me now?” Dan has so many good lines this episode
Casey, detailing the titular battle plan of Napoleon’s: “First we show up. Then we see what happens”
Dan: That was his plan?….. Against the Russian army?”
Casey: Yep.
Dan:….. Almost hard to believe that he lost”. Bwahahahahaha
Dan being adorable pestering Casey to talk to Dana.
Casey protests that it isn’t the manly thing to do to tell Dana- Dan suggests “then do it in a deep voice” in the most POUTY way possible.
The split second between when Dan tells Natalie about Sally and Gordon and Natalie running out of the room to tell Dana.
Dana is wayyyyy too calm upon being told that Gordon slept with Sally. Even Dana muses she wouldn’t think that she would be this calm.
Could that be because Gordon is the worst and Dana doesn’t even want to marry him a little bit.
Cause seriously Gordon is the worst.
And the first thing he asks is if Casey told her.
Did I mention that Gordon is the worst-
And as a general rule, don’t ever preface something with “this part is funny, actually” or anything that sounds like that. It’s pretty much guaranteed the other person will not find it funny.
“It would never happen when we were married”. Really words that should accompany any proposal.
DANA AND SALLY’s CONFRONTATION.
IT IS SO GOOD.
Because Sally is absolutely right- it IS none of Dana’s business if Casey and Sally are doing the do. Gordon is another story but Casey is none of her business.
And the best part- Dana realizes this! While Sally is telling her off, Dana says out loud that Sally is right and Dana is embarrassed for herself for confronting Sally like this.
Sally looks confused for a moment like she’s wondering if this might be a trick. And she in a very gentle way says what Dana desperately needs to hear: Dana isn’t upset, or really cares that Sally slept with Gordon. No, Dana cares that Sally slept with Casey.
This episode and the Ordnance Tactics did a good job of making Sally more than just a leggy siren.
Cause it’s hard not to tell feel for Sally when she matter of factly states that the man she’s been sleeping with for two months doesn’t care for her, and she is aware of this.
Seriously this scene is so good all the way through- just outstanding writing and acting from Felicity and Brenda.
It has dawned on Dan that telling Natalie wasn’t the best idea.
Not just because Natalie went and told Dana, but because now it’s come out about Casey and Sally in addition to Sally and Gordon.
To quote Miss Chanandler Bong- can open, worms, everywhere!
And Casey does not know about ANY OF THIS.
He has been mercifully unaware, behind the closed doors of his and Dan’s office, working away.
Dan is the meme of the little kid who is waking up his parents to tell them he threw up here.
There are a lot of times in the show where Dan seems like the little brother, never more so than when he fills Casey in, which is so amazing once again I need to transcribe it.
“Casey: You told Dana?!
Dan: I told Natalie. Natalie told Dana.
Casey: Oh, boy! Who would’ve thought!
Dan: Dana told Gordon, Dana told Sally. Of course, Sally already knew-“
Dan is such a cute dork I love that he adds of course Sally already knew… and then comes my least favorite line of the episode.
Casey explodes, “you’re a woman, you know that? I’m gonna stick you under a hair dryer!”
Like really Aaron Sorkin? You nailed it with the Dana/Sally talk and then make this stupid ass joke- what does this even mean?
Dana and then Casey both kicking Dan out of the office.
Elliot and Kim telling Casey they’d like to hear his tawdry tales later as he and Dana walk through the newsroom.
The heartbreak Dana packs into “Sally… Sally?”
Casey’s wry observation of “you’re a lot of fun to share an office with today, you know that?” When Dan mentions this time it’s his fault that he and Casey are without pants.
Dan: (as he and Casey walk through the newsroom without pants) Those are nice boxers.
Casey: Shut up.
And Casey’s plan has come to fruition. They showed up- now they’ll see what happens.
Technically, an anchor is a job you could do pantless- you sit behind a desk the whole time.
I really hope this was readable, whenever I rewatch Sports Night this is the episode I’m always most excited to get to- I usually rewind the scene where Dan admits everything to Casey a few times lol.
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Sketch Plan of the Battle of Zürich from 4th June, 1799
Printed & published by Friedrich Schulthess, Zürich [Switzerland] : drawn by Fridolin Becker
A map detailing the first battle of Zürich following the French invasion of Switzerland (Jan-May 1798), in which results in an Austrian victory.
With a scale of 1:40,000, this map's legend consists of two colours; red for the French army and blue for the Austrian army.
The small, flat pentagons mark the location of schanzes, while the x-shaped nets mark the location of abatisses. The arrows denoting attacks launched by both sides depending on its colour.
Names mentioned :
Erzherzog Carl - Archduke Charles
1st Column (Jellacic) - Franz Jelačić (?)
2nd Column (Graf Bay) - Karl von Bey
3rd Column (Prinz v. Lothringen) - Karl Eugen, Prince of Lorraine
4th Column (Hotze) - Friedrich Freiherr von Hotze
5th Column (Fürst Reuss) - Heinrich XV, Prince Reuss of Greiz
FZM Wallis - (Feldzeugmeister) Olivier, Count of Wallis
Masséna
Oudinot
Soult
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The First Supervillain
So! A Typical "Early Start" AU where the events of The Show happen early in the Timeline. Like, in the 70's or 80's.
Danny never quite managed to fix his Public Perception, and even years into his career people still saw him as the Villain.
Coincidentally Valerie was seen as a Hero because of how often they were seen fighting. Even after they revealed their Identities and got together, they still had the occasional Battle. It was their love language.
His role as the Villain was Cemented when Pariah launched his Second Invasion of Earth after some dumbass accidentally freed him, and Danny took the Blame for it. Instead of being seen as the Hero who battled Pariah and stopped the Invasion, he was seen as the Tyrant to launched the Invasion in the first place, with Red Huntess being the one to defeat him in one final Ultimate Battle.
And honestly? He was fine with that. Now that he was the King of the Ghost Zone, he had the Authority to Regulate the Portal so villains stopped getting through. And that meant that he wasn't needed to stop random Ghost Attacks anymore. He could finally focus on College and his own Life, instead of sacrificing everything to act as the Protector of the Human Realm.
Val continued to be a Hero for a few more years, eventually retiring when it became Clear that the new generation of Heroes could pick up the Slack.
He went to College, got a Job as an Aerospace Engineer, and eventually proposed to Valerie.
About 20 years since his initial Accident, and he was doing great! He had moved into a humble home on the edge of town with his loving wife Val, his beautiful daughter Ellie, and his cute dog Cujo.
Yeah, life was good.
Until the day Danny accidently caused a Mass Crisis.
...
Superman was having some extreme trouble in dealing with his current Opponent. He had just been flying around the City, patrolling as Usual, when all of a sudden he had been attacked by a Flying Mech Suit.
At first he had assumed that Lex was giving it another Go, but he quickly realized that was not the case when the Armor seemed to Phase though solid matter in the middle of the battle. Lex had never made Tech advanced enough to do that on the fly.
This opponent was tough too. Strong enough and Durable enough to go blow for blow with him, and seemingly able to pull Advanced Weaponry from out of nowhere whenever he wanted. As tough as it was to admit, Superman as losing the Battle.
Then, without warning, the battle stopped. His opponent was staring at the space just behind him, with a look of pure dread. He turned around, and his heart stopped.
Floating behind him, staring right past him and directly at the Mech Suit, was the First Villain Phantom.
He looked much the same as when he had last been seen, although he was definitely Older. He had snow white hair, and glowing green eyes that seemed to stare right past him and into his very soul. He was wearing what seemed to be a costume of sorts, with an all black suit, white gloves, and white boots. Over his Shoulders sat a Cloak made of Stars, and above his head sat a Crown made of an Icy Blue Fire.
The Mech tried for a greeting, "Er- Hello t-Lord Phantom. How do you d-"
"Skulker."
"Y-yes?"
"What are you doing here? I thought I gave you explicit orders to stay in the Ghost Zone until further notice. You disobeyed me."
"Okay look. I got excited, that's my fault. It's just, I got anxious waiting. Can you really blame me? I've been waiting 20 years to take another Crack at the Human World, what's it matter if I left a few weeks Early?"
"I told you. You were supposed to wait exactly 20 Years, and you left Early. This calls for punishment."
"No wait!"
"Let's see how you feel after a few days as Soup."
The Villain pulled out a Thermos, and in a flash of green light, Skulker was gone, and the King was capping the Thermos. He then turned to Superman.
"I apologize for him, he decided to leave ahead of schedule." The King addressed him. "Now, Kryptonian. Rest and tend to your wounds, you will need to be in your best health if you want to continue saving the lives of those people below us."
With a dramatic flare, the King reached up and Tore a hole in Space. Through the Hole, Superman could only see an infinite Green Void, with the sound of screams cheering being heard through the rift.
The King departed through the Tear in Spacetime, and it closed behind him.
Superman tried to collect himself, and activated his League Emergency Comms.
"Attention All Founding Members, and Justice League Dark Members. This is Superman calling for an immediate Emergency Meeting."
He took a deep breath.
"Phantom is Back."
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