BHOC: BRING ON THE BAD GUYS
As I talked about yesterday, for Christmas 1978 I was given the four existing volumes in the Marvel Origins trade paperback collection that up to that point existed. I had read SON OF ORIGINS OF MARVEL COMICS at my local library, but I was happy to have my own copy to go back to and review. But once ORIGINS had been consumed, I made my way into the next book I hadn’t yet read, which was this one.…
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I know Endgame is technically Stan Lee's final cameo, but to me his final and best cameo will always be Into The Spider-Verse.
It captured both his heart and the way he reached readers and fans, but also acknowledged he was kind of a ruthless businessman too, albeit in a tongue-in-cheek way.
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I was hired to advertise comics to the public, so I printed huge ads on the underside of blankets so that when people pulled up the covers at night they would see the ad. Stan Lee personally visited me and said it was a great idea.
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BHOC: ORIGINS OF MARVEL COMICS
Christmas 1978 was a huge comic book windfall for me. Whereas in years past I had filled my wish list with an assortment of toys, starting here, I would instead begin asking for books on comics. ORIGINS OF MARVEL COMICS had eluded me for months, so much so that I eventually got to read the story I was most interested in from it, FANTASTIC FOUR #1, in the Marvel Pocket Books line.
BHOC: FANTASTIC…
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Midnight Pals: 2 Fisted Tales
Stephen King: hey patricia is it true you used to write comics?
Patricia Highsmith: [long cigarette drag]
Highsmith: who told you that
King: well, i just heard-
Highsmith: was it stan lee?
Highsmith: musta been stan lee
Highsmith: never met a cat who talked so much
Highsmith: might as well be a dame with all the yap yap yappin
Dean Koontz: wowwwww did you really meet stan lee, patricia?
Highsmith: yeah
Koontz: wowwww! what was that like?
[flashback]
Stan Lee: hey there comics fans its me, stan lee
Lee: how bout a date?
Highsmith: no dice
Poe: steve
King: i just thought she'd like to tell us about her
Poe: steve
Poe: just no
Poe: no
King: ok fine
Barker: i'm gonna hear the comic story
Poe: CLIVE NO
King: ah but patricia i think we'd all like to hear a comics story
Patricia Highsmith: i ain't gonna tell no comic story
King: well maybe I can't convince you
King: but I bet I know someone who can!
Alan Moore: [appearing in a flash] who dares summon the arch magus?
King: the arch magus!
Poe: the arch magus!
Koontz: the arch magus!
Moore: speak! what boon ask ye of the arch magus?
King: hey alan you've worked in comics
King: how about you tell patricia that comics aren't stupid
Moore:
Moore: i cannot tell her that
Moore: comics are the bane of my existence! a curse upon them!
Highsmith: now this guy, this guy i like
Highsmith: he's got a real noodle in his noggin
Moore: the arch magus would do well to hear your counsel, mortal
Highsmith: sure, we could jaw a bit
Highsmith: how you feel about snails, archmagus?
Moore: be these your familiars?
Highsmith: "familiars"
Highsmith: listen to this cat
Highsmith: ok fine you mooks wanna hear about my comics
Highsmith: i'll tell ya
Highsmith: but only cuz i'm here among bros
Highsmith: long as its just dudes
Highsmith: cuz these stories
Highsmith: they get a little rough
Highsmith: and you know how dames are
Highsmith: so this story's just for us dudes
Highsmith: so franz
Franz Kafka: what?
Highsmith: you gotta go
Kafka: huh? what?
Kafka: why?
Highsmith: you just gotta go
Kafka: i don't understand
Barker: oh my god franz get a clue
Poe: clive
Highsmith: submitted for the approval of the midnight pals
Highsmith: i call this the tale of the crime puncher
Highsmith: it's about this real swole square headed guy who punches criminals
Highsmith: pow! punch! bam!
Highsmith: that's what comics are all about
Highsmith: so there're these 2 palookas who fight crime
Highsmith: named steve and ploopie
Barker: i'm sorry what
Highsmith: steve and ploopie
Barker: steve and WHAT
Highsmith: what, you got cabbage in your ears? ploopie
Barker:
Barker: i'm sorry WHAT
Highsmith: anyway steve and ploopie gotta do some punching
Barker: there's a lot of punching in these stories
Highsmith: that's what kids want in comics
Barker: huh sure yeah
Barker:
Barker: i'm sorry steve and WHAT
Poe: let it go, clive
Highsmith: so this world war i playing ace crashes into a polish swamp
Highsmith: when he dies, it creates a big mud monster
Highsmith: who goes to america to harass some kid for his model air plane
Barker: i'm starting to see why you didn't want to tell these stories
Poe: CLIVE
Highsmith: i didn't just do action comics tho
Highsmith: i wrote educational ones too
Highsmith: like the two-fisted tales of oliver cromwell
Highsmith: or don't mess with galileo
Highsmith: or catherine the great takes out the trash
King: why didn't you stick with comics, patricia?
Patricia Highsmith: eh you know how the comics biz is
King: but I've heard its actually a growth industry
Highsmith: is that so
King: yeah they tell me that there's lots of opportunities in comics for girls
Highsmith: ugh pass
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Kate: (laying on the street, unconscious after a fight)
America, panicking: She's not breathing!
Peter: I'll give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!
Kate (opening one eye): Ew, no, let Yelena do it (closes eye)
Peter:
America:
Clint:
Natasha:
Stan Lee's Cameo:
Yelena: GET OUT OF THE WAY, IMBECILES!!
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