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muzwoom · 3 months

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Im having modern day au alver x ogcale thoughts :,)

The setting is sort of like a earth 1’s korea except the catalysm happened waaaaay before like decades before, so fighting the monsters is way easier and more normal tho its still considered really hard and dangerous work (barely any deaths anymore but injuries are p common)

The soos all work at the company together. Cale (22 yrs old) is estranged from his family and also works at the company (hes happy to watch his little brother and little sister succeed from afar). Cale and kim rok soo constantly get compared bc theyre both serious and hard workers who tell people all the time that they wanna quit/slack off (they will never actually quit or slack off). Bc cale isnt actually in his familys life anymore he doesnt need to pretend to be trash and hes smiley like when hes krs in canon

Bc kim rok soo isnt as traumatized as in canon from losing his only friends he manages to make more friends (taylor sten, cage, eruhaben, he obvs manages to find his kids, choi han is also here and not as traumatized he just got kidnapped by monsters for like 10 years and is back home now, the whale tribe the wolf tribe the jungle queen the- you get the point. Kim rok soo is basically the companys information network at this point)

Idk if i should make krs and the other soos 36 etc still or if i should make them younger? (Like in late twenties, just a little older than when the soos minus krs died in the og timeline). In any case somehow its still cale nagging krs abt staying healthy and eating well and exercising, not the other way around

Maybe cale still has his adopted niece (aka reincarnated mom but ig he doesnt know that in this au)??

Alver (27 yrs old) has inherited his fathers trillion won company and is a repressed workaholic CEO (or maybe his father has a rlly succesful company and alver has become rlly succesful in politics instead?? Tho what ive seen the rlly succesful companies’ heirs in korea are lowkey treated with the same importance as a politician so it doesnt rlly matter)

Tasha pressures alver into taking 1 single day off. He obliges and almost gets assassinated by the mob (the white stars gang, and yes they do have powers). They decide to hire alver a specialized bodyguard. Cue the company: cale gets chosen as a guard while a few others (including kim rok soo) work on figuring out how to take out the white stars little group

Idk what power to give cale yet 👀 i wanna say either smth to do with time or smth to do with plants BUT i can also just give him both?? Or a power that combines the two?? I will look up symbolism to decide later lol

ANYWAY smiley bodyguard cale x repressed ceo alver. Cale falls first alver falls harder. Cale surprising alver with loyalty and cunning and with how he goes out of his way to take hits meant for alver. Alver being perfect and cale doing his best to goad alver into letting go of that mask every moment theyre alone

Multiple specific scenes im thinking:

- alver is goaded into taking a day off by tasha again a few months after the assassination attempt, this time with cale. They go to a café and have cutesy talks together (cale is just constantly being glib trying to trip alver up while alver is annoyed and into it)

- alver has to go to a high-end event. Cale comes with as his bodyguard/date (the date part is just a cover but they both with it was real). They meet basen who is in complete and utter shock trying to hide it (he will do a full report back to the henituse family later)

- i need the company to go to a karaoke bar every friday bc i love karaoke. Cale sort of likes it and puts up minimal resistance every time. Kim rok soo does NOT want to go but he ends up napping the whole time every friday so its not that bad. During his bodyguard job with alver cale has to decline a few times. The company manages to wrangle cale into just bringing alver with him to karaoke (the repressed ceo of a trillion won company going to a shitty karaoke bar with a bunch of rowdy office workers/sort-of-soldiers is funny to me)

- at some point it gets serious and cale takes a bullet or otherwise rlly damaging attack that was meant for alver. He has to go to the hospital and alver realizes that oh shit its not a good idea to develop feelings for someone whos job it is to take bullets for you. And then he realizes of shit i developed feelings wtf??? And then he thinks i should stop feeling this way. And then he looks at cale again, whos passed out in the hospital bed and hes like im not gonna be able to stop feeling this way, am i. Fuck. Shit. Damnit

- they have a summer wedding 🥰

- neither of them are even involved w the white star mob. They just suddenly get a call from krs like “hi. I did the job. The others want me to tell you that im in the hospital btw.” Cale and alver visit him in the hospital and cale comforts krs by saying “dw, one day youll have your farm with the other two idiots. One day. Maybe.”

- that one scene in adventure time with bonnie and marcy and bonnie leans against marcy and closes her eyes and is like “wake me up in like 20 minutes.” Them. Them. Them. Them-

- cale slowly connecting with his family after him and alver met basen at that one event. First its deruth just calling (most painful and awkward phone call in the world where deruth very obviously avoids talking abt anything important and cale is just too confused abt why hes calling to pick up on any of it.) Then basen and lily start texting him. Then lily just shows up at his house to visit. It all snowballs from there with just little awkward moments of the family trying to rebuild a bridge with cale and cale just being confused abt what they want from him and why theyd wanna see him (its bc they love him bc hes family and theyre worried abt him)

- eventually deruth visits his house in person. This is also the moment where they finally actually have The Emotions and deruth acknowledges the abandonment and emotional neglect and cale confesses it was all an act but that he also actually thought they really didnt want him and that he thought he was ruining his fathers perfect new family with his presence and that he got rid of himself bc he thought it would make them happier

- cale goes to therapy.png. The family rejoices. The company also rejoices. The company stops rejoicing when he starts badgering everyone else to also get therapy (they really really all need it)

- the confession happens after cale isnt alvers bodyguards anymore. Cale has managed to talk alver into meeting every week at alvers place and just talking or playing chess or whatever they feel like doing. Theyre just doing their weekly catching up and cale is being especially wonderful talking abt his kid and alver being especially sleepdeprived just kisses him right on the mouth. He immediately backtracks and tries to be glib abt it like “im so sorry i dont know what came over me-“ but cale just kisses him back and then the next scene they wake up no clothes in bed together. They have been pining for at least a year by this point they deserve this

- alver goes to therapy after they officially get together bc cale pushed him to. It actually helps a little??? He is absolute shit abt opening up but the therapist has some generic tips abt managing his overworking problem

- most of the groomsmen/bridesmaids (or groomsmaids??) are part of the company. Tasha is alvers maid of honor. Basen is cales groomsman or honor or however the hell thats called lol. Cales niece is the flower girl and raon is the ringbearer. Cales family is there and robbit and his wife are there too + obvs alvers maternal family.

- summer wedding

Ok this is all for now

#just talking dmm #tcf #trash of the counts family #lout of the counts family #lcf #og cale henituse #alver crossman #other ppl are here too but they dont have a big role sooo #idk if i should tag them lol

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atla-suki · 6 months

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sokka’s treatment in lok was astonishing tbh but i’m actually glad he was dead by the time the series started bc toph being a cop??? aang being an awful dad???? they would’ve ruined him and suki’s characters lbr.

as far as any possible kids go idk we didn’t meet suyin till book 4 we barely saw izumi i think they just didn’t want to make the new series be a atla reunion plus lok was only meant to be one season so they were making that shit up as they went along lmao. and back in 2012-14?? they didn’t know themselves what happened to sukka lmao.

sokka and suki are definitely the type to break up bc of long distance but then find their way back to each other a few years later especially as they settle into their roles in life.

while bryke definitely neglect suki and sokka to some capacity also they do have a soft spot for suki after bringing her back. many don’t consider her to be team avatar but they’ve stated they do so idk ! she shows up a lot in the comics which have obv been created post-lok and it’s been said that they’ll utilise it’s plots and characters in shall see in future projects (crane fish town becoming republic city maybe??? where suki currently is working?? and sokka later lives!!)

i’m p sure suki will be in it at some capacity anyway and that there’ll stick with jennie as she’s one of the few asian og va’s. she’s doing a lot of work atm for avatar studios.

also random but i literally found out today that it’s not bryke-confirmed that mai and zuko end up together. it was a comment on a panel by the old comic writer. it’s not technically canon. izumi is the spit of mai anyway but hmm! interesting!!

btw btw suyin’s father was def a sandbending outlaw who toph had a secret relationship with that couldn’t be public bc of her role as police chief x

oo big ask ok let me break this up into different paragraphs …

fist point - one thing i will admit about lok is that it fell short in incorporating the original characters into the new series in an interesting way with enough verisimilitude (realistic-ness) that it didn’t feel like they were just throwing a popular character into an episode for the sake of it. such as the whole ‘aang is a bad dad’ thing because they under-utilised him as a mentor figure to korra and instead focused on his supposed favourite son (i have thoughts on this re. aang NOT being a ‘Bad’ dad but i will make another post on it if u are interested (or have i alr made one? i’ll make another one.))

i have to agree that they would’ve probably done something shitty to sokka or suki if they were included. especially with the entire first season of lok being about bender/non-bender equality… i can just imagine they’d make sokka say something dumb about the equalist movement being 100% Bad instead of him actually supporting some of their completely valid arguments. idk. i’m sad there’s no sukka but at the same time…. quit while ur ahead yk.

second point - sukka long distance relationship is so real ESPECIALLY during their first few years together. i can see them just kinda calling it off because of commitment issues due to their work, etc. but not ever really losing feelings. they’d be endgame tho🥰

i can absolutely see suki being in upcoming projects! especially since she and the other kyoshi warriors expanded their reach across the nations - it would be hard to ignore them completely if we’re assuming they’re including comic canon into the universe. i hope jenny returns!!

third point - yeah! how crazy that maiko as izumi’s parents isn’t canon confirmed… though she’s so clearly mai’s daughter. i wonder if mai’s role will be expanded in upcoming projects / if she’ll be featured more. hmmm.

fourth - would honestly prefer this to the theory sokka is her father lol. it kinda baffles me that TOPH became a cop.. not bc she opposes authority - there’s something different about enforcing it than there is having to follow it. i can see toph in authoritative positions, and she fits them well. but i think it baffles me moreso because why would toph even work as a COP? isn’t that boring as hell for her?? go do something awesome like probending or professional underground fighting (adult blind bandit anyone?? this would make a good fic) or literally just construction idk i feel like toph isn’t a Hard Worker type that would want to be stuck in such a rigid career.

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crumbleclub · 1 year

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Masked Bully Gang Headcanon Stuff

Idk, I wanted to talk abt them lol

Freddy Mask:

I subscribe to the belief that this is Jeremy, the main reason being that he's one of few characters known to be alive (survived the frontal lobectomy and all), which matched the Fredbear mask sprite not having posession eyes, and that it wouldn't be a stretch for him to have known Michael (were coworkers later on)

So this also functions as Jeremy headcanons, just mostly prior to and immediately after the Bite

Anyway, very expressive kid. Generally pretty happy but it's easy to tell what he's feeling either way. Heart on his sleeve type

Extremely casual, not super interested in following any kind of formality. Gets away with it because he's a total sunshine and people find it charming

His relaxed behavior sometimes makes others assume he's lazy or incompetent, but that could literally not be less true

Jeremy is extremely well organized and efficient

He can be very goal-driven as well. Excellent multitasker.

All that aside, he's not the type to overwork himself for no reason. He prioritizes his friends and his own wellbeing over achievements unless there's something very important at stake

Bounced around a lot growing up due to his family situation. He has a single parent who's having trouble getting by; he's been in cheap apartments, homeless shelters, foster care, living out of his family's car, etc. Things start to get better financially as he gets older

His family is generally good to him but they don't have adequate resources. That being said he's been around foster parents and other adults who are really shitty at varying times as well

Spends a lot of time outside and doing structured activities just to have a place to go

Boy Scouts, school sports, babysitting, youth groups for churches his family doesn't even go to, he just has to be doing something

Probably becomes an Eagle Scout at some point actually. He's ridiculously competent

His biggest flaw is being unusually vulnerable to peer pressure

Probably had the most guilt of the three after the Bite

Tried to make up for it as much as possible by going out of his way to take as many opposite actions as possible. Getting involved with fundraising for children's hospitals, anti bullying stuff, etc

His response at the initial event was a complete freeze. He and Mike were the only two who didn't run, but neither were much help in getting Evan back down

Jeremy just kind of... stood there. He doesn't remember it.

Eventually jumped at the opportunity to be a night guard in hopes that it might help Evan and the other kids

Mike's most consistent friend through the years

Also the same age as Mike, they're probably 2 months apart or something like that. 13 when the Bite happens

Chica Mask:

I feel very strongly that Chica mask has a bowl cut.

Using he/him pronouns for him in this bc that's what he used his whole life but I do wonder if he'd end up identifying differently had he lived longer

From a big family, middle child but has mostly younger siblings still at home

And when I say big family I mean 10+ siblings. I would not object to it being closer to 20.

They struggle to make ends meet but not to the extent Jeremy's family does

Totally starved for attention

His parents love their kids, they just have way more responsibility than they could feasibly handle well + end up neglecting their kids out of a lack of parenting skill

They also don't really delegate responsibilities so nobody's really sure who's watching the younger kids at a given time

Nobody notices in all the noise when Chica kid leaves to go with his friends or comes back or gets into trouble etc

He's also not been taught some basic social stuff bc nobody had time for him. He doesn't understand boundaries at all bc he's used to a chaotic full house with little siblings climbing all over him and having to shout to get any attention etc etc

Probably the angriest of the three

He's a little younger than the others, 12 when the Bite happens. He's also small for his age and makes up for it by being Really Loud

Chihuahua energy

Probably the most likely to get into trouble even without his friends around (Mike is similar, but the other two aren't)

Ran when the Bite first happened. Terrified. The guilt never quite got to him because he couldn't get past the initial shock of what happened

He was scared, and angry, and confused. He hadn't expected it to happen; he was just lashing out blindly like a dumb kid.

The only one who didn't go to Evan's funeral

He reached out for help about a thousand times in a thousand ways but nobody ever did anything. His family didn't seem to realize anything had even happened no matter how loud he screamed for help or how badly he acted out

I don't know how he died yet. From the town's perspective, he wandered off one day and just disappeared

Idk if he got into substance use really early or if he did something self destructive on purpose or if he was just stressed and took too many risks goofing off somewhere dangerous or what, but I think whatever killed him in the end was how the Bite affected him, rather than William or anything like that

Bonnie Mask:

Probably the most well-adjusted, honestly

Quiet kid, smart

A little older than Mike, 14 when the Bite happens

Has a single dad; his mom died recently of an illness

Family does okay in terms of money; they're not rich but not struggling either

If he has any siblings I feel like they're far apart in age and not that close

He and Mike play baseball together or something. He's really into it but his skill level is pretty normal. Might be more into stats or trading cards than actually playing

Probably views his life in baseball movie format actually

Quick learner, more into the language side of things than like math tho

Probably learns foreign languages as a hobby but has awful pronunciation bc it's all from books

Another one who isn't likely to be cruel on his own, but he doesn't exactly feel that bad about it until the Bite, either

He honestly just. Never considered the consequences of his own actions?

Very out of sight out of mind type of kid. When he no longer sees someone crying, he figures they must have stopped. The upset he causes others stops when he stops looking at them from his perspective

Had trouble making friends so he just went along with whatever the few he did have did and didn't think about it much

The Bite was a very harsh awakening for him

He ran. Completely panicked.

In the most normal turn of events, he told his dad and went to therapy about it and stuff

Developed a fear of blood over it. Never went back to Fredbear's.

Probably visited Evan's grave more regularly than any of the others

Shut down to some extent afterward. Kind of stopped having friends at all

William killed him in the end. I'm not sure whether it had anything to do with Evan or not, but he was lured and killed much like the MCI kids

Despite being in his teens at the time, Bonnie kid had never had a lot of reasons to be wary of strangers. The adults in his life were kind to him, and he trusted William's intentions until it was too late

#fnaf #mike's actual writing #masked bully gang #masked bullies #michael afton #jeremy fitzgerald #freddy mask #bonnie mask #chica mask #cw neglect #cw abuse #child death mention #cw sui mention #sh implied #cw substance use #im shit at cws and tws but i tried

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transboysokka · 6 months

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chris watches twilight for the first time

omg this blueish filter is wild is this like a Pacific Northwest thing

that girl is not tan enough to be from arizona

also I’m getting big gay energy from her so idk how this movie is gonna be like. plausible.

if the dad wasn’t a cop I’d definitely smash

do u guys remember though when they used to cast ACTUAL teenagers for teen roles? refreshing

wow this guy in the cowboy hat has MAJOR swag

oh nooo Taylor Lautner I grew up with him and he sucked (real)

idk why ppl always shat on kstew being like inexpressive in this??? seems fine??

all these vampire siblings date each other?? lolololol

so far this seems like a fun little teen drama idk. it’s so blue though

Edwards stare is so intense I KNOW rpat had a great time with this lolol

Lolllll imagine seeing someone try to switch classes to avoid u but u don’t even know them??

the daughter-distant father awkwardness is v nice, v realistic

ugh this dad is so hot

Does Edward have RED eyes girl that sounds like a red flag get away

Ok this soundtrack sucks

Wait so his eyes change? Why?

wow he stopped a bread van for her w his muscles how romanticccc

also how small is this school like how does everyone know her?

vampire doctor creeps me out

lol his name is carlisle what a square

taking bets at how soon he tells her he’s a vampire it’s probably pretty soon I’m gonna say like around the one hour mark

girl is she having sex dreams about him

God Edward really is so creepy eh

Lautner’s Michigan accent is sooo bad in this omggg I can’t

are these new vampires?? the whole eating people thing really disrupts the tone of the story

So gay of bella not to care about the dress shopping. And also just skipping prom lol

Edward just following her everywhere RUN GIRL

“I should make sure Bella gets something to eat” most awkward and obvious way to ask for a date

So she’s def a vegetarian and he def doesn’t eat people food

We’re like 40 minutes in and he’s already telling her lol

Anyway why can’t he read her mind is this like a soulmate thing

This is soooo fanfictiony lmao

So she finds out he can read minds and just lets it go lol

Edward is such a dumbass though she figured him out so easy lolllll

And now she’s having vampire sex dreams lmaoooo this movie is great

Oh here it comes the “I know what you are” “say it” lol I only know this scene bc it’s from a meme or something

lmao this speed animation

is he about to sparkle

BAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO UNSERIOUS

god they’re both crazy girl why are you so into him and Edward why are you so obsessed w her

ok yeah some of these lines suck

First of all these kids are missing class and for what

Second of all I cannot IMAGINE being a teenage straight girl seeing this for the first time when it comes out and basing my ENTIRE personality on this shitty ass self-insert fanfic ass plot

Girl how the hell can you be in love with him already

That’s so high school, they’re only walking together and people somehow know they’re together?

oh wow so the doctor turns these kids to stop them from dying that’s neat

I used to live only off tofu and I was very satisfied thank u very much

Wow he’s special about reading minds that’s convenient

He’s such a kid w her that’s not what I was expecting but I like it

They’re making Italian food for her bc her name is Bella lmfao

WOW anger issues much

He doesn’t sleep, he doesn’t stop going to school, he doesn’t eat, terrible existence

Was that the author in the diner

HOLY FUCK HE SNEAKS INTO HER HOUSE AND WATCHES HER SLEEP RED ALERT

DONT KISS THE GUY WHO WANTS TO EAT YOU NOOOOO

there are so many problems here lol

Dad just messing w his gun at the kitchen table, so cop coded

So American coded actually lol

Wait Edward is gonna meet him w the gun there lmao

Vampire baseball lolllll

This is just one big incest nerd family

They could have tried a little harder w the cgi for such a big budget?? This looks like the CW. Feels like it too actually

FRENCH bad guy vampires??

These stakes seem suddenly way too high??

Don’t break the hot dads heart nooooo

This really does feel like the CW though

Yeah no Rosalie is right why does that family care about Bella so much like she’s a high school girlfriend not a wife lmao

I think I’m dumb but I don’t entirely understand what’s happening here like did Bella go back to Arizona?? Why did she have to go so far to get away from this guy

FUCK is he gonna run all the way to Arizona now lol

I just don’t know how things got so suddenly so dramatic like can’t this James guy just let it go why is he going to so much effort this just all seems so silly

Wow Black Swan

yeah again idk why everyone was hating on kstew’s performance in this, it’s good

How did Edward get there so fast is there like some portal between Arizona and Washington isn’t that like a 1-2 day drive?

This is a fancy ass ballet studio btw

Yeah this fight scene sucks

So Mufasa coded “Remember who you are”

What is happening to Bella now she doesn’t turn until the last book right? (I’ve never read it idk)

Why did that guy have venom?????

Wow finally creepy Edward gets what he wanted and can drink her up…… he ain’t gonna stop

Oh I get it he stops w the power of love. Okay. Whatever.

This SONG sucks

“You lost a lot of blood” yeah THANKS Edward

Oh god the old ass cellphones. Throwback.

Not sure why she’d need oxygen w the injuries she had tbh am I missing something or is it for drama

“You’re in here bc of me” damn straight

Go to Jacksonville Bella (I know she won’t)

Don’t be a baby about it Bella????

Oh fuck is she going to prom? THATS not gonna create School Drama at all…

“Alice lent me the dress” yeah you’re too gay to own any

I know it’s bc of my issues w lautner as a person but I hate Jacob and I ALSO hate that lautner claims to have “distant” indigenous heritage bc that is another thing that he didn’t have when we were kids so why is he playing this guy

“Should we dance?” “You’re serious?” Bro you came to prom together wtf did u think u we’re gonna do

All the music in this movie sucks ass

I don’t usually advocate for this with vampire stuff but I’d have less of a problem with the creepiness of this relationship if he DID turn her

If MY bf was a vampire I wouldn’t want to be human either wtf

Okay yeah I mean that movie was whatever. Glad I understand the pop culture references now I guess

Oh no oh wait oh god I gotta watch the rest of these movies now don’t I…. Please tell me they get better

#text #twilight liveblog

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darling-i-read-it · 11 months

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Staring

Eli Ever(Cardale) x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: vicious/vengeful spoilers, eli literally killing people (nothing graphic), mentions of elis horrific backstory, angst, pining

Author’s Note: SHUT UP THIS WAS SO FUN. by the end of the duology I was so in love with eli, i cannot lie. I love victor as much as the next girl but damn i love an awful morally gray (morally black?) man. If anyone has any more request for either of these kings i would gladllyyyy write them <3 in the meantime i hope you enjoy this love!

Request: by anon, YOOOOO i read one of ur victor vale fics, and i am on my hands and knees bEGGING u to write for the villains duology more!! can i rq eli ever x reader where the reader isn't an EO but knew eli and victor in college? and the reader is working with victor against eli bc they don't agree w what eli's doing, and idk eli finds them or smth--sorry if that's too vague!! i am literally BEGGING for eli crumbs and pls include a lot of tension between reader and eli!! ur writing is stellar!!

Song: All I Need by Radiohead

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

Eli Cardale sat across from you at the table. You had your legs folded underneath you, tingling as they fell asleep. You had been here a long time. You could tell outside the window that the sun was starting to go down. The stained glass windows of the library were tricky like that, never quite revealing if it was as late as it seemed. Eli had his nose stuck in a book still. You wondered where Victor was, if he was studying somewhere.

“Are you done?” Eli questioned. Your head snapped back towards him. He was staring at you through the thick rims of his glasses. You smiled, shrugging.

“I’m getting sleepy,” you admitted. Eli nodded once, tucking his papers into his textbook.

“Is that code for you’re going to go find Victor?” There was a gentle edge to his voice, a slight jealous tinge. You shook your head, rubbing your eyes.

“Truly sleepy,” you promised. “I’ve been reading about boring things forever Eli. I can only do that for so long. You should share some of your brain power.” He shook his head.

Eli valued these afternoons with you. They were nice and peaceful. Life outside of these walls tended to be chaotic and with complications he could never quite grasp. In here, nothing had happened to him. It was just you and his books. He could spend forever with you and his books.

Despite the calmness of the moment, he felt the most emotion here.

“Plus, Victor is probably off studying.”

“Alright,” Eli huffed, though there was disbelief in it. You smiled as he put your things back in your book bag. You could probably make some shitty coffee back at the dorms and stay up a little bit longer. Make the day last past schoolwork. Maybe even catch up on some of your own reading endeavors. “Are we still meeting up tomorrow afternoon?”

“Yes sir,” you promised. “Same time, same place?”

“Yes ma’am.” You gave him a nod as you pushed your chair under the table. Eli started to leave. You followed close behind him. “Have you studied for the test in Givens' class tomorrow?”

“Enough.”

“That doesn’t sound like enough,” he admitted. You shrugged.

“What am I gonna learn in the next 12 hours that is actually gonna help me Eli?” He shook his head. He couldn’t believe you sometimes, though he enjoyed having you around. “You disagree.”

“We have different minds,” he said. The air was refreshing. You walked down the steps of the library, the sun hitting your face. It felt nice after being cooped up for so long. You passed other students, people cramming and holding large cups of caffeine. You weaved through them on the cobblestones back to the dorms.

“What does that mean?”

“It means we have different ways of learning,” he suggested. You grinned up at him. He looked particularly handsome this evening. You knew he always teased you about liking Victor more than him but it was Eli you had always been in love with. It would always be Eli. His stoicism, his mind, his understanding without you having to say anything.

“That’s not a bad thing,” you countered.

“Did I say it was?”

“You did not.” You lifted your leg dramatically as you started to go separate ways. “I’ll see you tomorrow Eli. Don’t work too hard.”

“You know me,” he called. There was a life in his voice he didn’t recognize when he was with you. You gave him a half wave, an adorable gesture, before walking the other way.

He watched the back of your head for a moment. Your hair bounced in the sunlight. You looked gorgeous this afternoon, particularly distracting. He watched you go like you were taking a piece of him with you. Eli and Victor had decided not to tell you about their experiments, for your safety. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to. He wanted to hear your thoughts and your comments and your reserves.

He had put his foot down. Victor was more likely to slip up than he was.

He still wanted to tell you.

You turned a corner and he lost you. He dropped his head down, imagining someone else seeing him standing alone, staring at a girl who didn’t once turn back to look at him.

“Tracking him has never been easy,” Mitch grumbled. He was sitting on the hotel bed. The adjoining door was open, allowing Dol to come and go as he pleased. Sydney and you had your own separate room from the boys, at Victor’s insistence.

“Well it’s never been so fucking hard,” you muttered. You looked out the window. Eli Cardale was out there somewhere, among the people and the cars. You had recently narrowed in on him to this city but been unable to get any closer. He was supposed to be obvious when you were close. “He’s killing people. What do you mean we can’t find him now that he’s so close?”

You looked over at Victor. He was standing at the computer. He had a look of contempt on his face. You had never seen so little life in Victor. He had always been the stoic type but never as much as Eli. Now, years after college, he was almost dead in the eyes.

“We need to split up.”

“And what? Scrape the streets to see if we find any rats?” you spat.

You were different too.

“He had typical haunts. We need to find an EO and narrow them down, knowing he’ll be around them.” Victor looked at Mitch. He nodded once, getting up to go to the computer. You were never quite sure how they were able to find people so quickly but you also could never understand how they couldn't find Eli. Victor walked over to you.

“We’ll find him,” he promised. His voice was hard. You looked over at him.

He looked so old. He looked weathered. He looked like a corpse. He had died.

Eli and Victor had never let you die. They never would, not even after everything happened. You were a human, just like Mitch, and you were stuck here in this purgatory between people who had been your closest friends.

After he got out of prison Victor sought you out. He knew that to find Eli he would have to find you first. He half hoped the two of you would be together, frolicking off into the sunset, like the ordeal had never happened. That isn’t what happened.

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because he’s looking for us too.”

“Do you think he knows that I’m here?”

“I don’t think he ever lost you,” he said lowly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Eli liked having his eye on you. I don’t think he would’ve let you leave his peripheral vision if it wasn’t for me.”

“What a rebel.”

“Yes ma’am.” Dol walked into the room. He jumped up on Victor’s bed and did a couple circles before lying down with a huff. Sydney was awake. Victor looked back towards the dog, remembering he had a child to care for. “Do you want to go get food while Mitch looks?” He had a gentle tinge in his voice that he saved for you and Sydney. Those in this room were the closest thing he had to family, though he would never admit that.

“Sure. I need some fresh air anyway.” You cleared your throat and walked back, grabbing some money. “Want anything Mitch? Going to the deli next door.”

“I’m alright. Filled up on protein bars.” You rolled your eyes.

“Once a jock, always a jock,” you joked.

“I don’t think-”

“Just go with it Mitch. Vic?” He shook his head. He would rather wallow and die than ask for anything he could get himself. “Syd, I'm getting food!”

“Can you get me a sandwich?” she called from the other room.

“What kind?”

“Tuna fish!”

“Kay!” You opened the door and shut it behind you. The hotel was large but it was cheap. You were okay with the sketchy neighbors as long as no one asked questions. No one got into the elevator with you on your floor and you pushed the down button. You should’ve invited Sydney to come with you. She could use the fresh air too. Dol probably needed to go to the bathroom.

You thought about how you weren’t that far. You could go back up and grab them, that way you had some company and extra hands for the two sandwiches. Maybe they had dog treats for Dol. You always loved places that thought of that because of how often Dol was around.

The elevator opened on the second floor. You stepped aside, keeping your head down so you didn’t have to make eye contact. The man walked in and pushed the first floor. The elevator started to move again.

He pushed the emergency stop button, causing the elevator to come to a harsh stop. You stumbled forward, grabbing the railing beside you.

“Hey,” you said, annoyed. You glanced up at the floors that were highlighted at 2 still. You finally looked up at him. He was wearing a large black coat with a collar that covered the side of his face. “What the fuck?” you asked, louder this time. He tilted his head towards you so you could see his eye through the thick rimmed glasses.

Your mouth clamped shut.

“Eli?” When he turned around it was like no time had passed. His face looked exactly the same, exactly the man you sat across from at the library. His eyes were the only thing different, a little less life in them. He and Victor were more alike than either cared to admit.

The elevator felt too small. You were confined in a small space with someone you had carded as the villain of this story.

But it was Eli.

“I heard you were looking for me,” he said, quietly. His voice didn’t seem threatening. There was nothing there that felt wrong.

“Yeah,” you breathed. “You’re killing people.”

“They’re not people.” You narrowed your eyes at him. There was a difference. This was the Eli you had never seen, only heard about from Victor. “You…you’re people.” You looked up at him through your hair at him. Your eyes were big, doe eyed, he would say.

“You’re people too.” He shook his head. There was a sly smile on his face. He had orchestrated his moment, he had thought about the second you would leave and that it would be just you. He needed to see you before he saw anyone else. He stayed in this town to see you.

He was obsessed with Victor.

But if he knew love, it was you.

“I’m a God.”

“Then what is Victor? What’s Serena?” You could tell you hit a hard note with Serena.

“Serena’s no longer an issue.”

“She was an issue?” You watched each other for a moment. It was nice to be there with him, even if it hurt to know how different you were.

“She was an issue.”

“Then what is Victor?”

“Victor’s a defect.”

“What happened to you?” you asked him, borderline pleaded. You took a step forward and grabbed his hand. He looked down at it like it was a foreign object. He didn’t retreat.

You didn’t do it to manipulate him. You did it because you had to, because he was right there, before you had to touch him. “What did they do to you Eli?”

There was no way you could’ve known what they did to him but the question hit him where it would've hurt. It was a touchy subject. He had the sudden urge to hug you, to wrap his arms around you and engulf you in his embrace. To kiss you, to do what he never had the time to do when you were in college. He thought of Victor. He wondered if Victor was with you now, if his worst fear had finally come to fruition.

“Eli,” you whispered. His eyes had glossed over, lost in thought. He came back, staring at you, studying your face.

“They cut me open. They took parts of me out. They couldn’t kill me.” His voice had no emotion, like he was talking about the weather.

“I’m sorry.” You knew you should be using this time to convince him to change his ways. You didn’t have him for long. You should’ve been telling him that killing was never the answer and that no matter what happened to him, he should never be taking it out on others.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to do that.

Without warning, you wrapped your arms around him.

His natural reaction was to tense up. He assumed you were hugging him to manipulate him, to get to the buttons, to try and hurt him. Moments passed and you stayed there, head pressed against his chest. You made no ill efforts.

He wrapped his arms around you. He put his chin on your head. He closed his eyes.

Why couldn’t it have been like this forever?

Melancholy filled up the small space. It could never last like this. You had to go back to Victor and you both knew you would tell him that Eli had been here. There is nothing more special than a short lasting mutual agreement to set things aside to have some closure.

You let him go. Your hands lingered on him as long as you could.

“You have to go?” he questioned. The tinge of emotion was back in his voice.

“They’ll come looking for me,” you said quietly. The act of going back assured him some time to leave. You were trying to help him, even now, even after everything.

He nodded once. He pushed the elevator button to start moving again. It moved down slowly but not slow enough. You both faced the door. You linked your pinky with his, refusing to look at him.

When the door opened you let out a deep breath. He let you go. You missed his touch already. He walked out the elevator doors.

Without thinking you reached forward, stopping the doors from shutting.

“Eli!” He turned back around. His cold face was back, haunting you with the differences in time. You swallowed. “It was always you.”

His face softened.

The door shut. You watched him until they shut as he turned away from you. The elevator brought you back up to your floor. Like a zombie you walked down the hallway. You had forgotten your keycard and knocked on the door.

Mitch opened the door.

“Where’s the sandwiches?”

Behind him Victor stood, watching your face. He read your numb expression and raised his chin, hardening his face.

“Eli.”

#eli ever x reader #eli ever imagines #eli ever x fem!reader #vicious imagines #vicious book imagines #eli cardale x reader #eli cardale imagines #eli cardale x fem!reader

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honeybadgersfandom · 3 months

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Really listening to the rich ny kids' podcast like red scare or wet brain because I have time and i love gossip but they're scary ! These people have influence in the cultural sphere and so much money and their ideas are awful bc they want to be edgy.

Today i listened to one episode of the wet brain podcast (first time I've listened to it and only bc megsuperstarprincess was in it and her writing in her blog really surprised me when i discovered it so I'm still interested in her in a way) and it's so emptyyyy. The only thing interesting is their connection to people, how they meet them and the information they have thanks to that. And they're trying so hard to be different by being like "fucking a conservative is the better sex you can have bc they don't care about your pleasure" i was walking while listening to the podcast and i giggled alone bc wtf are you saying ? Rich kids from ny are soooo far away from the reality most people are living in it's crazy.

Trustfundgoth was also in the podcast and on this topic she said that she always has her young republican card in front of her door like that if the person who enters criticizes it she can make them leave or a shit like that. And i love her mania and the freedom of tone in her post but please you're just not smart and you don't understand in which context you're living in or what ? Idk i hate this and you know I think you can find people with a freedom of tone and who are truly "shoking" anywhere else. Like the angel money podcast is cool, she did an episode where she plays the roulette with line of ketamine and cocaine and it's fun and she has ideas about political stuff which are not so deep but still interesting and at least if she's pretending it's to be funny and not to pretend she knows everything about the world like some of these bitches in the podcasts named earlier are doing.

The hosts of these podcast said that people criticizing were jealous and lmao jealous of what ? Their ed ? Already have one. Their parties ? Already have them. Their clothes ? Not really cool and too expensive for acrylic rags.

So idk it's just nyc is more famous than a lot of cities in the world so we're aware of them but otherwise who cares to be jealous, the only thing that matters is that they're influential bc they're hanging out with rich kids who are going to be future politicians and already entertain these conservative pov so now that the "cultural influences" are sharing the same ideas they're not challenged and will continue to do shitty political stuff.

#podcast #angel money #trustfundgoth #megsuperstarprincess #red scare #wet brain #rich “kids” who are adults but still call themselves kids bc they don't have any jobs and do nothing except partying and being conservative #thoughts #really funny how stupid they're they remind me of people i go to college with #they have witty jokes but their ideas are awful and change if their convenience changes #pure vomit everywhere

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pmatga · 11 months

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Just found your blog and I really like it ❤️ so if it's not too much trouble more head cannons about your OC please

you didn't specify which oc you meant so fuck it. you get Multiple

blair spellman

idk if i've ever mentioned it before (i probably have and i just forgot lol) but she has fire powers like her dad! they aren't as strong as his are though bc she's still alive and fleshy and made up of water. she really doesn't use her powers for anything more than lighting a cigarette when she can't find her lighter, however; that's bc she can't control them all that well. like she's not accidentally setting shit on fire left and right (not since puberty at least), but if she has a great emotional outburst (especially an angry outburst), Bad Shit might happen. thankfully blair didn't really inherit their father's temper so Bad Shit doesn't really happen all that often. don't get me wrong, they Do have issues with anger but that's more due to trauma than anything related to bets (plus she deals with her anger issues in a different, yet still unhealthy way)

is the type to wear axe body spray in lieu of Actually showering because "it’s basically the same thing, right?"

prefers nightclubs to house parties.

another thing that i don't remember if i've ever mentioned before: they were on the track team back in high school. their coach once told them that if they worked hard enough, they could really go places (funny how that worked out). she's not nearly as good of a runner than she used to be, but she can still, say, outrun a swarm of ghosts if she tries hard enough (adrenaline is crazy man)

their last name, spellman, is a surname they decided for themself. and even after reconnecting with their mom's side of their bio family, they still keep their last name as spellman. it's Important to them.

has little to no social media presence. like they have accounts but they never post, they mostly just lurk

she accidentally burned down the last place she worked at (a 7/11). an argument between her and a coworker got heated (pun only slightly intended) and…well. i'm sure you can guess. thankfully no else aside from blair & her coworker were there and they got out more or less fine, so she didn't kill or seriously injure anyone (and she's lucky she didn't). and bc they could never really prove it was her---everything pointed to an electrical fire, even if they could never figure out how the fire got started so quickly nor why it didn't spread beyond the store---she never got in trouble for it nor did she have to pay for it. it scared the shit out of her though, and ever since she tends to stay away from the vicinity.

robert jadeite

if he were in the show, there'd be a running joke abt him having Just So Many shitty jobs. does he just quit/get fired a lot, or does he actually have 15+ jobs? we will never know. for example: waiter, late night gas station attendant, cashier at pacmart (walmart), working the drive-thru at pacdonalds (mcdonalds), pacbucks barista (or maybe starpacs? idk), the guy at a water park who tells you when you can go down the slide, etc. he has so many jobs and he hates every single one of them.

has a semi-popular youtube (pactube?) channel. all his videos are either "sitting in my car or on my kitchen/bathroom floor" style rant vids or 1-3 hour long vids on a hyperfixation-induced rabbit hole he'd gone down.

prefers house parties to nightclubs.

has pretty bad insomnia. he's lucky if he gets 4-5 hours of sleep a night.

he's a college dropout (mental health reasons + mid-semester identity crisis) and was majoring in marketing prior to that. he currently doesn't know what he wants to do with his life and doesn't like thinking abt it bc thinking abt the future scares him.

orbitalia spheros

she’s betrayus & stratos’ half-sister and her bio dad is japanese (or pac-japanese? since tokyo is called pac-tokyo). she didn't meet her bio dad until later in life, as rotunda never told him abt orbitalia's existence. things were shaky between the two of them at first (orbie & her dad i mean) but they're more or less alright now

sunny and orbitalia were best friends back in high school. they drifted apart some in college but they were still very close. orbie & zac were Also friends but weren't As close as she and sunny were.

she Does Not have a good relationship with either of her brothers; she's never really been close with either of them tbh. it's mostly why she almost never comes down to pacopolis except to pick up elliptica whenever she visits.

has made a few attempts to get back into the dating scene over the years, but each and every time these relationships end up dissolving bc her heart's just...not into it (and also bc well. never receiving closure on whatever happened to her husband kinda makes it hard for her to properly grieve which makes it hard to Actually move on). she's still friends with most of her exes though.

akahiro murasaki

was Not A Fan of his in-laws. this is mostly for two reasons: 1.) if there is one thing that both of the spheros brothers are equally good at, it’s at testing the patience of everyone forced by social convention to interact with them, and 2.) orbitalia told akahiro Some Really Concerning Shit abt growing up with rotunda as a mother and stratos & betrayus as brothers. y'know that thing where you're telling someone what you think is a funny story only for them to look at you in horror bc it was actually traumatic? yeah. so while he was willing to be civil for orbitalia's (and later elliptica's) sake, he didn't really go out of his way to be overly friendly to them.

is a transhet man (he/him), he & orbitalia were t4t

liked wearing boots with slight heels (much like his brother-in-laws ironically enough). not really so he'd seem taller (he was 5'9" and was perfectly content with that) but bc they looked good and that's it

was quietly self-confident. he looked good, he was good at what he did, he knew it, and he didn't necessarily feel the need to flaunt it (those kind of ppl annoyed the hell out of him tbh).

that being said he Did have some insecurities, mostly abt whether or not he was actually a good husband and (later on) a good father. as i've said before, he wasn't the most emotionally demonstrative person in the world and he worried abt whether or not orbitalia & elliptica knew that he loved them. orbitalia did (even if she did occasionally have her doubts bc anxiety be like that) and elliptica did too (at the time, at least. nowadays elli's not entirely sure)

gwendolyn hollow

her voiceclaim is sally from the nightmare before christmas

you know how i once mentioned that she uses secret tape recorders to record things? yeah. she does that so 1.) she doesn't have to just rely on her poor memory, 2.) she can decipher anything she doesn't understand later, and 3.) as a sort of audio diary.

is an appreciator of small things, like buttons and strings of ribbon, rocks, animal bones, and such. sometimes she will stare at little things that interest her for so long that griffin or even the good doctor pacenstein himself have to tell her to “move along, girl.”

slightly related to the above hc: pacenstein & griffin call her "girl" a lot. keep in mind she's at least 20 years old.

her middle name, elizabeth, is derived from pacenstein's ex-fiancée elizabeth from way back in the 1800s. and yes it's fucking weird that a.) griffin let his great+ uncle name his first and only child and b.) pacenstein named his grand niece after his ex. like sure it's just her middle name but still. weird shit.

isn't allowed to interact or even show her face to any visitors to pacenstein manor. this is bc the last time she interacted with a visitor (it was literally just to take their coat), they took one look at her, got freaked out, and made an excuse to leave. she was never really told Why but was led to believe it was bc she resembles her great-uncle. it's not.

genuinely doesn't know Jack Shit abt almost anything that's happened outside the castle and what little she Has learned has been history from like...200 years ago, so nothing recent. a whole fucking WAR happened within her lifetime and she's completely unaware of any of it.

griffin hollow

as the caretaker of pacenstein manor and the only one who can/is allowed to leave the castle, he’s usually the one who takes care of dr. pacenstein’s personal affairs---gathering supplies and equipment for them both (yes sometimes this includes Literal Graverobbing), arranging meetings with potential clients, and finding out any recent developments in pacworld (never hurts to keep informed!).

is really fucking cowardly and tends to bend towards dr. pacenstein's will, especially where gwen is concerned. he is Far Too Willing to throw her under the bus if it means getting his great+ uncle's approval.

much like his great-uncle (and much like most of his contemporaries tbh), he believes that his intelligence is far superior to most people’s and that others should be grateful to bask in his presence. unlike his great-uncle (and most of his contemporaries), however, he also knows that this isn’t a stance that endears him to others, so he usually shuts up abt it.

he doesn't express anger in the traditional sense. like he won’t yell (most of the time), get physically violent (again most of the time), or even directly tell someone he’s angry. instead, he chooses to express anger by doing this…passive-aggressive, just downright weird shit whenever he's mad abt something. like "accidentally" locking someone in a room/out of the house, hiding things (usually sentimental possessions or necessary items like keys), turning off the heating/air conditioner with no warning, etc..

#blair spellman #robert jadeite #orbitalia spheros #akahiro murasaki #gwendolyn hollow #griffin hollow #pmatga oc #pmatga #asks #anonymous #also i guess these aren't Really hcs bc i decide what is canon with them #but you get the idea

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gaypleasantview · 1 year

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life rant below:

everything feels so messy, i haven't been able to go to the doctor because of my social anxiety but i think something may be deeply wrong with my body bc i have symptoms of what could be a bad chronic illness?? i hope i can make an appointment this week bc im putting it off and its just devastating me. ive realized the only moments i can be brave despite my horrible anxiety are when i think of my life as something bizarre. like, my life is a joke, kinda. it makes no sense. i had no plans for adulthood but never in my life have i ever planned to seek refuge in a different country, that's for sure. and we're so lonely here, we have no one to hang with in our city, im not a big person for meeting irl but there was always someone, i had friends in uni, even in school, i had flatmates back home, now i only see friends once every few months and most of them i havent seen for so long at all. its been a year like this and i had no idea it would be so damaging to me and my perception of reality, i feel like im in a constant state of dissociation kinda because how could you accept this new reality? i still think somewhere in me that this is all a dream i'll wake up from one day and yeah, i may be gravely afraid of talking to the post office lady or whatever, but how hard can it be when perhaps the worst thing that could happen in anyone's life's basically already happened? i just hope the doctor won't gaslight me again, last time he told me my headaches are due to the post-war stress but my man the day before it happened i sat at my shitty job (want it to go bankrupt lol fucking bigots) and i felt soo fucking bad? i hope i at least get prescribed glasses or whatever. i dont know. and its funny because life is way better now than it was before anyway bc im less fucking poor but it still sucks ass im so tired and i need a therapist which also idk where to find them so as im searching for the possibilities im just venting here for some relief. yeah thats somewhat new. i miss home

#vent #tw health problems #tw dissociation #i think #non sims

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lilbeaniebro · 11 months

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my issue with pinterest

i hate that pinterest is still a social media, and i forget it too!

like there’s still shitty pins made by bad ppl, still arguments going on in the comment sections and i’m like oh i’ll just avoid it but social media is made so you can’t stop scrolling, sometimes (actually a lot of the time) i go into rabbit holes just scrolling and going on the next pin

i hate it so much, pinterest is my favourite app and it is better than most of them (toxicity-wise) but it’s still bad for me. i find things that make me feel like shit or bad abt myself or mad for others or mad for myself or just plain stupid

ig there’s no healthy way to engage with social media, there’s always gonna be ppl or posts that make you feel bad so you either get used to it or stop using it

i wish it was just the media without the social, like i love the comments and pinterest has been the only safe space for me to actually share my opinion but i wish they weren’t there.. though there would still be those bad posts..

hmm, idk like i said before there’s really just no way to use it healthily, like yea for the most part it’s safe and you only see stuff you like but if you stray a little too far you could see something that you wish you didn't see

though that also brings up the topic of shelteredness, is it bad to not want to see those things? obviously not especially if they trigger you (trust me i’ve seen some actually triggering stuff if it came across the wrong person) but overall is it important to see those things? to learn from it? to grow from it?

i suppose but it’s also important to set boundaries, acknowledge your triggers and be like ok that post made me feel really bad and i don’t want to see it again what are some actions i can take to ensure that it won’t happen as frequent?

hmm, idk, what are some actions?... maybe blocking people? hiding the posts? though you still see and interact with the posts and the people.. hmm, set a timer? ik no one likes that but maybe it’ll help? maybe stepping back and asking yourself why did that trigger me? did you see yourself in that post?

.. yea, i did. it’s hard, being different. i act as though i don’t care bc i’ve seen bigotry towards all these type of people my whole life but it’s just hard that there’s ppl out there that hate you, hate your existence, want to exploit you, don’t respect you, want to take advantage of you

and yea i’m scared for myself but i’m more worried for others, i see others letting themselves (not letting per se but more so falling into the trap) be taken advantage of or be treated as less just to be loved or to have attention and i get it, it justs hurts me so much knowing that there’s ppl out there that laugh at the fact that they can so easily manipulate others and use them as they please, they see absolutely no issue with it, they deserve to have their needs meet right?

ppl love to go on abt how progressive we are but it doesn’t feel like it, maybe it is.. but i feel like the more open and accepting we be to others and the more hate the other side spews

like are these issues ever gonna go away? i guess not, sometimes i feel hate towards certain groups are so deeply rooted in their dna

but ykw what can you do abt it? nothing, sure you can change a person’s perspective but there’s still a bunch of others after that and you’re just not able to some people’s views, and there may be something to do abt that but sometimes you just got to take a step back and be like this is a really big issue and one day we will conquer it but for now you have to acknowledge that you’re just one person, one person stuck in this sea of hate, humans weren’t meant to deal with this but we do now, all you can do is make sure you’re okay, take control of the things you can control, control your emotions, your responses, the way you present yourself, the way you talk to others, the way you treat yourself

we are in a game that is made to exhaust us over and over and over again, you’re so focused on surviving the day that you don’t focus on the bigger picture, how could you? so the least you could do is show yourself the respect and care you deserve, obviously it’s hard, i’m preaching all this but i don’t even take care of myself, i’ll get better one day and so will you

so um that concludes my rant turned therapy session turned inspirational talk, thanks for reading through all this, take care of yourself, drink water, eat something, take a shower, go on a walk, avoid social media as much as you can, and even if you do one thing that’s okay, that’s one thing you got done

bye

#rant #pinterest #text post #personal ramblings #social media

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morkofday · 2 years

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Not Me for the fandom ask thing! 😊🥰

lizzieeee~ thank you a lot for asking! gosh am always so excited to talk about not me :') let's go!

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Sean i think i’ve established already that i am utterly in love with this mess of a man. i still remember when i was watching the first ep of not me and at the end we have white finally meeting sean for the first time and i instantly knew sean was gonna wreck me emotionally. bc what am if not a slut for emotionally constipated boys who turn out to be super soft and only in need of some love and understanding? yeah. and then the nightmare scene happened at the beginning of ep 4 and i was like. yup. called it. my blorbo now.

Least Favorite character(s): Dan and Gram ok ok hear me out. i don’t hate either of them. i truly do not. i find both of them quite charming in their own ways and i love them as part of the group. but out of all the characters we get to meet and see in this, out of all the characters that aren’t just straight up shitty, i find gram and dan the most boring. they’re kind of plain. the writing doesn’t do them justice bc they could’ve both been so much more. i expected them to be a lot more - and yet.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): SeanWhite, DanYok, GramBlack, ToddBlack, GramGeneBlack

Character I find most attractive: Yok i wanna say sean bc he is one handsome motherfucker (all bc off is just. so pretty). but also just. yok. my absolute beloved. he has the looks. he has the wardrobe. he has the damn tattoo and the personality. he could flirt the pants off from a fucking table. he is absolutely mesmerizing and i do not blame dan for going absolutely bonkers bc of him. i would too.

Character I would marry: Gumpa our garage dad! i would absolutely say yes to him if he asked lol. we could have a comfy life. he could do his gay garage revolution trainer stuff and i could maybe like. edit and draw and study in the corner. we could cuddle up when the time calls for it. no one can bother either of us about future marriage. we can stay bffs. maybe he can offer me a hug and some head pats, who knows. idk what i can offer him but i’ll try my best which seems to be enough for him. hey maybe this is not marriage but adoption instead. i have the papers ready man, get out your pen-

Character I would be best friends with: White this is all based on personality. i think all the other character would be a bit too intense for me to be best friends with. other than gumpa who i mentioned above, i could only see myself hanging out with white. he’s sweet and quiet and calm. he likes reading just like i do. maybe we could go do a couple of leap of faiths at times to spice things up. we can go brood by the sea. i won’t let him go drown himself tho, i swear.

a random thought: we need a second season about black’s toxic relationship with todd. give us all the dirty little details. twist them up and break our hearts. or wait no, let them both be twisted together but make todd see he can be much more than a rich little shit. also i just wanna see more of black and how he came to be with his gang and how he actually cares about those assholes.

An unpopular opinion: Namo shouldn’t have been made to be in love with Sean idk how “unpopular” this opinion is but it always frustrates me when friendships between men and women are made romantic. there always seems to be this romantic aspect to it and i am just tired. can’t it just be a platonic relationship where they’re both comfy with each other? i thought we got that with them at first. they were just being so casual, and namo seemed to pick up on white’s interest on sean quite early. i thought she was just being an observant best friend. but no, they had to make her confess and kind of ruin that friendship. i know they can still be friends after but was it really necessary? tho of course her confession provided us with the extra angst when sean goes to her after getting beat up by black but dammit, you could’ve gotten that from somewhere else too if you just wanted to pile up on the angst.

My Canon OTP: SeanWhite they are just so good. i adore they. i want to cry so much more bc of them. i miss them and their lovey-dovey nonsense ♥

My Non-canon OTP: ToddBlack yes i am in this pit too and what about it, i like how twisted they could be and how their past could just be so heartbreaking and how they could maybe have a future. i can dream.

Most Badass Character: Black i think the ending episodes speak for themselves. like damn, ever since i saw him first fighting with todd and then going against half a swat squad with his bare hands i have not been the same, that was so sexy.

Most Epic Villain: Todd idk if he’s truly epic in any sense bc he’s mostly just pathetic. but god is he more interesting than tawi or the twins’ parents. so him it is. also at least he dresses up better, those open shirts were truly something else.

Pairing I am not a fan of: BlackGene/GramGene i didn’t really mind these happening in the drama but i just. didn’t really get into them? it felt boring. even more boring when we somewhat got baited with it being gramblack. what a disaster that was sigh. rest in peace our nice little ship. also pls eugene deserves someone so much better than either of these boys and i think she should date a girl instead actually.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Gram like i said before, both him and dan could’ve been so much more. they gave us so many promises with gram as the drama started and then continued but then made him just very boring. and somehow even an asshole? bc at the beginning he seemed to care so much about black, and i actually adored the thought of black having someone like gram in his life that he actually let a bit closer to himself. but then they just. brought in the whole gramgene mess. which made all of gram’s motives kind of dubious. like idk if the writers just simply forgot that the gang wasn’t actually white’s gang but black’s but god dammit they wrote black out of it quite harshly.

Favourite Friendship: Sean and Yok absolutely obsessed with this couple of unhinged besties ♥

Character(s) I most identify with: Sean and White i feel like i’m a strange mix of both of them which probably explains why i like their relationship so much. i sometimes get very defensive like sean and i can be a bit impulsive at times too. am also bad at admitting my own mistakes, tho i will not go choking someone else about it hhhh. also i doubt myself and try to correct my own thinking like white. i try to be better. tho i can also see myself being as stubborn as sean when it comes to things i believe, and then again as understanding and sweet as white is with everyone around him.

Character I wish I could be: Namo she seemed just so cool in the series. she was an artist and very sure about it, and i truly admired her ambition and knowledge on things. also she was best friends with sean - and i truly refuse to think of them as anything else so let’s ignore the romantic part. i also just wanted to steal her style so this would be an easy way to do that haha

#thank you so much!!#this was a lot of fun #i miss my garage gang #so so much #maybe soon i get to rewatch

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puthyjuth · 2 years

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sometimes im angry that people have such radically different views from mine and then i just remember we are all gna d*e anyway and it literally doesn't matter and people will find their own sources of coping and happiness and thats what matters. and even if they don't, that's out of my control because at least i tried

buuuuut at least to you, i want to rant,

it does kinda annoy me and make me want to change someones mind when literally they only really care about money but not like the stability money can provide in a im broke and literally can't afford my basic needs way but the power structure and act of accumulating it and having/winning this fake quantifiable social hierarchy. and they seek to win within their own family, their shitty friends, random ppl they meet, just anyone

the other thing kinda pet peeve i have is when ppl really belittle mental health and looking at it from a bigger perspective than just im sad im happy idk like when they attribute really shitty things that happen to them not as a traumatic thing that affects the way they live and make decisions day to day but they just say oh thats just a generational thing like basically saying these beliefs are out of anyones control

like. im not even hating bc im belittling them, i just feel... so sad for them that. because they think like this they will literally never find what they are looking for or truly heal and its genuinely really sad to me because even if you did "win" there will always be richer ppl than you, ppl with a bigger house a better car there will always be more and you will never be satisfied. and the second one, i also feel sad bc these ppl also leave themselves in shitty situations but they defend themselves and everyone who hurts them, and it sucks bc these ppl are also super kind

like when i talk about how things hurt me and i set boundaries and leave when they are broken, they project and defend themselves so deeply when i wish they could just see im trying to say you should leave too lol

i know this is super specific but yeaaaa idk i feel like it applies to a lot of ppl- ppl who kinda just wanna be rich n ppl pleasers who never stand up for themselves. maybe bc these things deeply affected me once and i realized how hopeless things feel

BUUUUT who knows maybe i am really just someone who doesn't really like it when others have different perspectives than me

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yuichi-ro · 2 years

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kay kay kay kay so. watched the first six episodes of fire force. here are my unfiltered thoughts as you have to suffer through them.

SHINRA IS MY BABY BOY NOW ajsjks pls he is sooooo cute he gets all the kisses i wanna pinch his chubby cheeks he gets tiddie sucking privileges.

arthur gets a hate peg. good comedic relief, not my type tho but stuffing his mouth would be fun.

takehisa hinawa is the guy id take home to meet my parents. he gets my hand in marriage. we stan a dependable man.

maki is a goddess oh my god. can she bench press me??? please??? god she is so funny and hot i love her.

the captain (akitaru? smth like that) is fine too, not my cup of tea tho.

tamaki is already getting on my nerves and i hope i never have to see her shitty face ever again but as she is in the intro, i am afraid i will have to see her more often :’). god how can a character be this annoying she embodies the worst of everything. she can go die in a fire for sure lmao.

princess hibana? nah QUEEN HIBANA. i am but gravel at her feet, idk about others but she is right🤷‍♀️ kindaaaa getting the gay vibes from her and iris. that would be a fun threesome. i definitely need a tr setting where reader’s gang is like hibana’s harem lmao thats just perfect tbh.

speaking of iris, she is fine too but only like her in combination with queen hibana.

okay but calling it now already with no knowledge, the brother of shinra ain’t dead. “no bones were found” yep sounds like he got abducted by some dudes from prob the first squad and is now on the enemy’s side and we will see him fighting shinra. god i watch too much shows man.

overall very good i enjoy it a lot probably gonna continue watching it as i finish making my dreaded dinner.

went to the carwash on thursday and changed tires on friday and. the entire time. no bird poo. literally after i cleaned it in the night from thursday to friday? bird poo on top of my fugging roof. bc i cant have nice things smh

don’t mind me screaming about shinra imma be quiet already but fuck he is so adorable😭😭😭

ill prob send in more thoughts as i continue watching lolol

-🌌momo

SHINRA IS BEST BOI AND SHINRA WILL ALWAYS BE BEST BOI LIKE IT'S JUST ILLEGAL TO NOT LIKE HIM 'M SORRY HE'S GOLD STAR STATUS BESTEST BOY FOREVER AND ALWAYS

not a plug but idk if you ever saw my shinra fic from the other blog, always a goldie even if it's an oldie

those be fighting words for the wife she adores Arthur (after ironically hating him, wow sounds like Kisaki 🙄) But also six episodes in is not a good rep of Arthur. Nor is just going off his relationship with Shinra. I'm not much of a "dumb rivals" trope kinda person so their constant bickering irritates me. But once you get Vulcan (the red head beefy guy w/tattoos) Arthur is better bc their friendship/relationship is so gay I love it (especially if you pick up the manga it's real gay)

hinawa always gives me a boner like that's the one I wanna ruin. I need to corrupt him. I need to stretch him. I need it

again, much like Shinra, I feel like it's illegal not to like Maki? Like if you dislike Maki are you just satan yourself? Big beefy woman who wants to be tiny and feminine but learns to love herself? Yes yes to all that we stan Maki here forever and always

obi (the captain) is that character that's very likable but I feel like every straight woman in a fandom with a shitty boyfriend like him. He's just hetero/straight girl bait that he's not my type either but I do like him and would like to work out with him

playing the devils advocate (as a manga reader) Tamaki's character growth should have been what it ends up being from the beginning. But it's very apparent (like Obi) that she was the straight male gaze fan service. The fandom is pretty divided on Tamaki as you'll find out. Her character growth is really important and speaks volume to the way people slut shame but then on the other hand it takes a long time (like end of season two) for Okubo to do that for her. She's so so and she reads better than she watches ngl

how outwardly gay Hibana and Iris are is just like?? my favorite thing??? It's so gay they so clearly had first time crushes on each other?? just?? I love that ship so much I'll always die on that lesbian hill. But I do like Hibana. I love her and Obi's sibling interaction the more we get of them. They're like nit picky brother and sister and I love it

me likes Iris. I've always liked Iris. Less of a crush thing and more of I vibe with the way she thinks. I too carry immense crushing feelings in myself and try to never talk to anyone about them.

I'm totally bias but Fire Force is so binge-able in both anime and manga form. The transitions to arcs. The connections between even just season 1 to season 2. The lore and everything. It's very addictive and I will not lie I'm excited for you to get the scientist and the eye patch smoking dude. I do really think you'll like them idk I just feel it in my bones that you'll be a Joker and Viktor fan. They are....questionable at best. But funny so it's worth it XD

not me biting my nails for you to get to season two bc I'm not ready for your first impressions of my hubby of husbands 😂

#kurono is......not everyones cup of tea #ok im pretty sure he's literally only my cup of tea #HE'S NOT AS WEIRD AS HE'S MADE TO LOOK I SWEAR #but yes shinra is best boy and he is gold tier of what i expect my main characters to be like #actually shinra is probably why i tolerate noe #they would be dumb determined brothers together and i would like them #honestly fire force is one of those animes/mangas that i like most the characters #about the only one that irritates me is the whistle dude but thats bc of the whistle #i love karim hes another church boy questioning his beliefs I fell hard for <3 #also excited for you to meet vulcan bc....well....that is literally my twin #in body and spirt and soul and birthday XD #vulcan and i are one and im a little creeped out in fact #so if you hate vulcan i'll have to sob in the corner bc we're 90% the same personality XD #RIP to the bird poop #my cars like a bug grave yard istg #I would trade all the bug guts for poop bc i cant scrape these dead bitches off Dx #pls i wait with baited breath for more fire force thoughts <3 #🌌.♡#three.talks

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ottiliere · 2 years

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do u ever think about aloha dave being a shitty parent bc i do. I think about him outright hating dirk when he actually gets to meet him and belittling him for whatever accomplishments he manages. I think itd just be very fun for Dirk to finally feel at peace with his brother via dave only for that to be ripped away from him and for dirk to feel worthless again. And it just leads to Dirk taking like 12 steps back with getting comfortable in his own skin and isolating himself because alpha dave has just made his little brother feel so absolutely unworthy of love or affection. Anyways hows your week.

my hands slapped over my mouth reading this ask and I genuinely thought you were one of my friends anonyme because alpha dave's propensities as a guardian are basically all I talk about, but in a different vein... here we go

finding a place to jump right into this is very hard because I have spent, like, dozens of hours discussing this with a few different people... i guess one thing I'll mention is that in general i tend to be a fan of most depictions of alpha dave ("good" or "bad"), but something that has fascinated me ever since reading part 6 has been the concept of universal karma. specifically, the concept of "if beta dirk fucked up raising a child so egregiously, how is it fair that alpha dave would be a good guardian to dirk, given an AU where they meet/live together/etc?" so I've been playing with that in my head for weeks now.

it is very important to me that the way characters behave in non-canon situations (like this) is reasonably within the realm of possibility of their natural dispositions and temperaments. in this way i spend a lot of time thinking about "splinter selves" and nature vs. nurture and the like, how deviations early on can lead to slight differences between the canon character and au versions of that character given the constraints OF canonical parameters. and this is what is very magical to me about alpha dave: he doesn't have any of this. his everything was entirely mythologized and he essentially only has beta dave as the blueprint for his "self". he is a playground.

so, looking at beta dave: he has a capacity for a lot of neediness. he wants to be liked so bad. Similar to this

I won't get into the extremely convoluted au I spend all of my free time thinking about but the tl;dr of it is that dave and dirk did not grow up together, dave is ~20 years older than dirk, and both were raised by Bro displaying very different mannerisms leading to very different attachment styles (dave's ambivalent to dirk's avoidant). dirk enters dave's custody when bro dies.

basically the way I see Dave manifesting as a guardian is that dave likes Dirk because Dirk loves him — it's for the attention, because of his own issues stemming from not getting any from bro. He's emotionally childish in this way, and he selfishly absolves himself of responsibility because of this. He's NEEDY, and does not properly fit in the caretaker role (think: emotional incest).

example:

if dave ever did something that dirk (early in childhood) interpreted as him abandoning him dirk would probably shut down, regress back to older, isolationist tendencies. That's how I imagine he behaved with bro (never interacting, not stepping on his toes, never acting out never expressing himself since being needy with bro never worked). If dave ever, idk, forgot about something that was important to dirk (maybe promised to watch TV with him one night but had to work late, for example) he'd revert back to this behavior. begins to avoid dave, is less open with him (not that he was that open in the first place, but). dave would have to seek him out to get him comfortable in his presence again. which he obviously does. I think he's just as anxious about dirk hating him and he has a drive to "make it better" like dirk NEEDS to like him. the stoicism and avoidance is unbearable it makes him feel awful, makes him feel equally abandoned. abandoned by his charge lol.

obviously this would mess dirk up to a serious extent. I won't get into that becauz this answer has already gone on much longer than I anticipated... I won't extend this answer further by commenting on the actual scenario IN the ask because anon came off anon and now we're buds heh. really good angst scenario regardless

#ask #I hope I'm not just an artist to you guys but also the weird dirk whump girl #mentions of child abuse #opining

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sunghun · 3 years

Text

enhypen pranking you

requested; yes!

warnings; some cursing??

note; help i feel like this took forever to write 😭 and i literally have no excuses other than procrastination and the fact that i couldn’t think of pranks for like half the boys. hopefully my next post won’t take as long...

unedited so apologies for any mistakes/typos!!

희승 | heeseung;

okay i feel like heeseung would be the guy to go on reddit and be like “how can i prank my s/o without making them cry or get angry”

will absolutely research until he finds the perfect prank

he decides on the one where you wipe off your s/o’s kisses bc like

that’s a relatively harmless prank right??

if only he knew

so later that day when you two meet up you give him a kiss on the cheek like always

and he just . wipes it off

you can tell he’s kinda trying to be discreet about it

and at first you’re kinda confused by it

but then figured maybe you accidentally put too much chapstick on and left some on his cheek

bc you know. that can happen

but then throughout the day he just?? keeps wiping them off???

eventually you can’t take it anymore

“alright lee heeseung what the fuck is your problem”

immediately he knows he’s screwed up

like you used his government name and everything

“i might’ve been.....idk.....pranking you. or something.”

“😐😐😐”

never tries anything like that again

who knew you could be so scary?

제이 | jay;

okay it took me like 8 years to think of a prank jay would do

but i feel like he might try the “pretending to talk bad about my s/o in another language” thing

like one day when you and him were just having a casual little date

he gets a ‘phone call’

and he’s just like “hey babe do u mind if i take this? sunghoon said he needed to talk about smth”

“ofc baby go ahead 🤗”

and so it begins

the first time you didn’t even realize he said your name

so the next time he like . overemphasized it

and yeah it got your attention it also made you suspicious as hell

his first mistake

you looked at him questioningly thinking that maaaaybe you were being dramatic and he was just trying to get ur attention

but he just ignored you and kept talking

and you kept hearing your name Very clearly

and you can see jay discreetly glancing at you to see your reaction

which just confirms that it’s a prank

and you’re pretty sure you know which one he was trying to do

so after like ten minutes with absolute no reaction from you

jay finally hangs up

and you’re just like “did u have fun pretending to trash-talk about me to sunghoon?”

he just freezes for a second

bc damn he did not expect you to figure it out that quick

but then he just wraps his arm around ur shoulders and grins

“typical y/n. sucking the fun out of everything.”

you’re about to protest

but then he gives you a very sweet kiss

so all is forgiven ❤️

for now

제이크 | jake;

i’m sure we’ve all seen those videos of someone calling their significant other by their name instead of a pet-name or smth

so naturally jake decided to try it on you

bc. ya know.

he only ever calls you cutsey nicknames and shit

his friends like to tease him abt forgetting your name because like. literally he never calls you by it.

but it’s okay because you never call him by his either

bUT anyways

one day when you two were just chilling at your place watching movies and stuff

and you were in the kitchen making some popcorn

so he just goes for it

“hey Y/N can you bring me some water?”

he has to stop himself from losing it at the way you just freeze

“i didn’t know we were back on that level, JAEYUN.”

oh shit

is literally the 😦 emoji

was not expecting the uno reverse card

makes up for it as soon as you sit back down

kisses all over your face and calls you the most ridiculous names.

“i’m sorry my lovely sugarbear, sweetie-pie, pumpkin, baby boo.”

he’s just lucky you didn’t bring him a glass of ice and tell him to wait <3

성훈 | sunghoon;

recently, you got a box from ur mom that was full of all your favorite snacks that you couldn’t get in korea

and you were like . so excited

which is why sunghoon, your lovely but slightly evil boyfriend

decided to play a prank on you

you had been gushing to him about how excited you were to have some of them when you got home from work/classes

and so he decided to hide them

later when you went to get them you almost had a heart attack when you couldn’t find them

“hey babe have seen those snacks my mom sent?”

“oh you mean those odd looking ones? yeah the guys came over earlier and we kinda finished them off. sorry hon.”

now

sunghoon was absolutely ready for you to get mad

he was prepared for shouting and maybe even having a pillow thrown his way

what he was not prepared for was your face falling and tears to start welling up in your eyes

“o-oh. okay.”

“wait y/n-“

but you had already started crying

which might seem like an overreaction but like

you’d had a really shitty day

and looking forward to those snacks and cuddling with your boyfriend was the only thing keeping you going

and you just couldn’t help it :(

“y/n, baby i’m sorry please stop crying.”

runs as fast as he can to where he hid them and brings them back to you

“look, see? i was just pranking you.”

promises that he won’t ever do something like that again

bc he hates seeing you cry :/

선우 | sunoo;

it took me so long to think of a prank sunoo would do 😭

but after some careful consideration

i think he would do smth like give you really salty cookies just to see how you react

like are you gonna tell him they’re awful in a nice way or will you just tell him straight up that they taste like crap??

is so obvious about it tho

“hey y/n wanna try these cookies i made with love just for you~?”

watches your reaction very closely when you take the first bite

he can tell that you’re trying so hard not to make a face

“wow, babe. these are uh, really good. thank you so much!”

wait what

are you.....trying to spare his feelings???

“are you sure? they’re not too salty or anything?”

“nope! i love them!”

did you just take another bite???

this time you can’t hide the grimace quite as well tho 😭

at his blank look you try to take another bite

but he stops you before you can poison yourself anymore

“babe you weren’t supposed to pretend to like them i know they’re awful 🤦‍♂️”

is very touched that you would eat a cookie that is like half salt just for him <3

정원 | jungwon;

okay don’t @ me but i feel like jungwon would just like . try to ignore you

like he saw someone on youtube doing it and their s/o was being super affectionate and cute trying to get their attention

and he’s just like.....😏 hmm.....

so he tries it out the next time you come over to his place

and you’re just . so confused??

bc aside from him opening the door to let you in

your usually sweet and cuddly boyfriend is acting like you’re not even here??

you start trying to get his attention with snuggles and cheek kisses and bringing him something to eat/drink

but the boy won’t budge

and now you’re paranoid

did you do something wrong??

is he really upset????

finally you can’t take it

and you come up to him a little watery eyed

“i don’t know what i did, but i’m sorry. i’ll try not to do it again.”

literally breaks his heart in two 💔

immediately apologizes and tells you that it’s a prank

and then cuddles you the rest of the night without letting go <3

니키 | niki;

one day while watching random youtube videos

niki got the stupid brilliant idea to pretend that he was gonna break up with you

of course he had to wait for the right timing and whatnot

and that seemed to be just a few days later

the two of you planned to play video games and watch some movies

and that seemed like the perfect time to do it

so a few minutes after he got to your place

and you two had just sat down on the sofa

he turned to you all serious and said

“y/n. i hate to do it like this, but i can’t keep it in any longer. i think we should break up.”

“oh thank God.”

wait what

why did you sound.....relieved???

“wh-what?

“yeah i was actually planning on breaking up with you, but you beat me to it! nice one, bro.”

niki frowns

“y/n this isn’t funny.”

“oh but it would’ve been funny if you did it to me?”

yeah turns out jake found out about his little prank and tipped you off

omg but once niki realizes that you’re not actually dumping him he just kinda.....crushes you into a hug

“i’m so sorry you’re right it isn’t funny please don’t leave me.”

the rest of the day is spent much more calmly after you two vow to only play harmless pranks on each other.

#enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x gender neutral reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen x you

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in-tua-deep · 3 years

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idk if you still do au ideas but what if delores was a real person in the apocalypse? how it woul dbe done i have no idea but i love all your aus and thought it would be cool

okay okay I don't tend to go for real!Dolores aus admittedly because I find her much more compelling as what she is: a reflection of five himself and a symptom of his crushing loneliness

but i started thinking about it and you know what?? i think five deserves a little socialization, as a treat

so say like, 0.5% of the population is resistant to abilities. Allison would really struggle to rumor them, Five wouldn't be able to jump with them, and, most importantly, whatever the fuck Vanya's ability does has like, reduced damage or something

and the og apocalypse isn't the moon apocalypse, so let's say that it was pure waves of Vanya's powers that fucked over the earth

so 0.5% of the population survives the apocalypse. though, let's be honestly, the real number is a lot smaller than that. People who might have survived Vanya's initial power wave (miraculously) did not survive buildings crushing them or survive the car/plane/bus/train/other transportation crashes or survive being left alone when they are too young to reliably look after themselves, or the variety of other problems that come with 99.5% of the population dying at once

So, Five arrives in the apocalypse and is met with ruin and fire and a whole lot of dead people. He finds his siblings, but it doesn't matter. They're dead. He doesn't even recognize them at first, these strange grown-ups who he identifies not by their faces but by the umbrellas on their wrists that match his own

As he realizes the full impact of his situation, he hears a voice that says, very succinctly, "holy shit!"

It's a girl a few years older than Five himself, maybe 15 or 16, and she is very excited to see another survivor.

And here's where I u-turn this au around bc i'm not all that interested in real!Dolores, but I would be down to talk about Five meeting survivors in the apocalypse, because if Dolores is real I don't buy no one else survived.

So Dolores shows up and see a Literal Child crying over the corpses of his family and assumes that Five is a fellow survivor, and she immediately grabs him up. Five is incoherent with grief at this point anyway, so he doesn't even protest when she basically hauls him away from the bodies. She's babbling at him, but he doesn't really hear anything she's saying

And then she takes him to her dad

(Why not, let's have the 1% potentially be a heritable thing)

and her dad, let's call him just some dad name. like Rick. it has been a fucking WEEK for him, okay. he had his daughter with him, his ex-wife is on the other coast for her work, and by some miracle he survived the apocalypse and so did his child, and he's been wracking his brains trying to figure out what the fuck to do next

and then his daughter shows up with a traumatized thirteen-year-old in tow

now rick is a good dude. he's a dad. they get out of five that his name is five ("what the fuck" dolores mouths to him over five's shoulder and rick can't help but agree) and the bodies he found were his siblings ("Dad and Ben and Vanya weren't there though," this child cries desperately and rick feels his own heart clench in response, "They might still be alive!")

"We can look for them." Rick assures his new adopted child, because he is an adult in a fresh apocalypse and this kid has presumably lost everything he's ever known (more than rick even knows at the time)

and they do. They each get wagons and they go out and find supplies and look for other survivors. Five is... surprisingly helpful and also surprisingly docile as he is able to rely on Someone Else to give orders while he attempts to (dissociate) process what the fuck has happened

and here's the thing: Five prides himself on being independent, sort of. He's independent for a child soldier, but he's used to taking orders from a male authority figure and Rick happens to be just that

The first time that Five does something dangerous and Rick yells is a revelation

(Rick isn't sure if he hopes that Five's dad is alive or not, because if they find that man alive then Rick might just kill the jackass himself. Also like, Five is bizarrely knowledgeable out survival skills, like way too knowledgeable about it, which is helpful for them but also very concerning)

they find a newspaper and Five finds the article that mentions his father's recent death ("Huh. Heart attack." Five says, and there is no emotion in his voice)

(Years later, years later, Five and Rick talk. "I don't think I wanted to find him, either." Five admits, softly because Dolores is asleep, "I think I was more scared of finding him alive than I was of finding his body. He would've been so mad at me, I think.")

this newspaper is how Rick and Dolores find out about Five being Number Five, Umbrella Academy Missing Person

"Dude, what the fuck." Dolores says, wide eyes, "You're like, thirty?"

"I'm thirteen." Five says, and then checks the date on the newspaper again, "Also I think I would technically be 29 if I lived through all of it, 'cause it's April and my birthday is in October."

"You... time travelled?" Rick asks, which is honestly the more relevant question, "Can you go back?"

And Five just,,, crumples on himself. Because he tried, he tried really hard. It didn't work. "I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna go back, I'm going to save them."

That, Rick thinks, is a lot of weight to put on one person's shoulders, but especially the shoulders of a child.

"Alright." Rick says, because what else can he say after finding out his new child has superpowers and is from like, 2004? "What do you need?"

("Oh my god I have so many memes to teach you." Dolores says later, reverently. Five blinks in confusion and Rick mentally prepares himself for the recitation of so many vines)

And it's easier, somehow. Five sometimes feels like it's a betrayal, but he settles into apocalypse life with an ease that surprises him.

He lets Rick fuss over him and help tie his scarf securely around his head every morning before he sets off on supply runs with Dolores. And they're kids! Five has never had a friend before, and Dolores is funny and smart and she's struggling just as much as he is.

"I don't know if my mom's alive." She says to him, in solidarity when he checks the face of every corpse to see if they're Vanya.

Five is practical in the way only a child soldier can be. He's economical with the room in their wagons, carefully examining what might and what might not be useful.

Dolores, on the other hand, constantly takes up space with what Five sees as useless shit.

"Excuse you," Dolores says, shoving a game of monopoly, the entire discworld series, and a pack of glitter gel pens into her wagon, "These are absolutely vital apocalypse supplies."

She challenges him, plays with him in a way no one ever has. "I bet you I can find more batteries today than you can," She grins at him, "Winner gets to pick dinner first?"

"You're on." Five says, directly before Dolores pulls two packs of 24 AA batteries from behind her back, like a cheat.

Dolores makes him take a ten minute break when they find a playground that has been mostly not-destroyed. They rummage around kids backpacks and mother's handbags for some good loot, too numb to corpses to even be bothered all that badly about the corpses they belong to.

"I'm getting on the swings." Dolores says when Five starts making noises about moving on, "I haven't been on a swingset in ages."

"What's the point?" Five grumps.

"Don't be sour because you can't swing as high as I can!" Dolores laughs, getting higher and higher as the swings creak ominously.

Five grumpily gets into the other swing and grudgingly kicks himself back and forth until Dolores takes pity on him and teaches him how to properly move his legs and body to get higher and higher.

Dolores jumps from the swing seat and lands with a flourish and smile. Five jumps out of his seat and then jumps, warping right in front of Dolores and making her yell and hit at him in outrage. Five smiles the widest he has all week.

This is how Five grows up in the apocalypse, with Dolores teasing him into taking breaks and leaning over his shoulder to look at his math and scandalizing him by stating that she'd only just started on matrices in her own high school math class.

Every night they huddle around Rick while he picks up whatever book Dolores picked out that day because it is a travesty that Five has never read hunger games or whatever, and then they read together because it would be a genuine blood bath if they all took turns. The first time Five accidentally mentioned a spoiler and Dolores genuinely considered murder was the birthday of this tradition

Some days the air is too smoky or there are dust storms or it's just plain too dangerous to go out, and they all stay in. Dolores regales Five with stories about public school, and Five tells them about his siblings.

Then they all cry

"I shouldn't be crying." Five sobs.

"Shut the fuck up," Dolores sobs back, "You literally watched me lose my shit over remembering my shitty eighth grade dance and listened to me sob-sing toxic for like four hours."

"In fairness I also wished you would shut up then."

"Let me hug you or I will start singing songs that I only remember the chorus for again you absolute fucker."

"I could always sing some -"

"No, Rick/Dad."

And Five grows up. Rick shows him how to shave very carefully in front of cracked mirrors. Dolores teases him every time his voice cracks. Rick tells Five in no uncertain terms that he loves and cares for him, and that Reginald was a little bitch. There are a lot of heartfelt conversations around that, honestly. Rick telling Five that he and the siblings deserved better, that they were children and deserved to have a childhood.

And that he has faith in Five. Rick and Dolores both do, they bring him back paper and pens and pencils and chalk and anything Five can use to write equations. They poke around any libraries for books on theoretical mathematics and quantum physics. Rick and Dolores go out scouting for food while Five stays home and can work longer.

They also make him take breaks, make sure that he's looking after himself.

They're a little better off than OG!Five when it comes to food, because some animals survive. Enough that Rick figures out how to hunt. Five is the first one to each bugs, and even though Dolores makes faces they all start eating bugs as well.

"Pretty sure there's loads of cultures that eat bugs." Rick says grudgingly, wondering if he should try stirfry the cockroaches and if that would improve the taste. "There's even, uh, cricket flour or whatever, right?"

"Plus you eat like, five spiders a year when you're asleep." Dolores says cheerfully, just to watch her dad's face scrunch up in displeasure.

"That doesn't sound true, but I don't know enough about spiders to dispute it." Five mutters, and Dolores gives him such a proud look that it makes him roll his eyes.

They're in their thirties when Rick dies. He's out foraging and hunting, and the rubble he's standing on gives way and he ends up with a gash in his leg. He manages to stop the bleeding, but the world is filthy and they don't have any antibiotics.

He gets an infection.

"It's okay." He tells both of his kids, "It's okay. I'm just so glad that you guys have each other, y'hear? I'm so glad."

"It's not okay." Five says, voice thick and choked, "It's not."

"Yeah, well, you're going to figure out how to go back, right? Go back in time and save everyone. Then I'll have never died, right?" Rick smiles, "And even if you don't, I'll be waiting for you on the other side and we'll see each other again anyway."

"I'm going to fix it."

"I know. I have faith in you, Five." Ricks says honestly, and that's more than Reginald ever said.

They sit quietly together while Dolores is out scavenging. They've been taking turns sitting with Rick.

"I won't remember you, in the past, will I?" Rick says rhetorically, but Five answers anyway.

"I don't think so."

Rick hums, "Well, doesn't matter. If you need help in the past, you come to me, y'hear?"

"You won't remember me."

"Doesn't matter. You come find me, and you tell me your crazy story until I believe you, and then I'll help you." Rick says firmly, "You're family. You're my son. Timelines? Don't matter. If you need help, with anything, even if it's just with - with filling out a bowling team or something -"

"I have never been bowling in my life and you know it." Five interrupts, but it makes him laugh just a little bit which was clearly Rick's intention.

"Well who knows what you'll get up to in the past! You'll be able to go bowling, you know. Get to wear those uncomfortable shoes. Hey, you go far enough back maybe you can go to Dolores's tenth birthday party and put me out of my misery."

"Was she bad at bowling?"

"Oh, she was wiping the floor with me. No contest."

"Honestly, that sounds absolutely accurate."

"Shut up, bowling just wasn't my sport. Regardless, the point was that I'm giving you a free pass to come and get me. Because I know you, I know how you think." Rick brings up his hand to tap his finger against Five's forehead, "You get it into your head that you need to go it alone, take it all on your shoulders. I'm telling you that if you do that I'll somehow manifest my memories and come smack you over the head for being stupid, you hear?"

"I'm not dragging you into anything." Five says firmly, "I'll have my siblings."

"Who were also children." Rick points out. "And dragging? Dragging is such a strong word for a volunteer."

"A volunteer who won't remember volunteering." Five shoots back.

Rick just shrugs, and then winces when the movement jolts his bad leg. "Five, I'm going to be honest with you here. And sappy. Can you handle a bit of sappiness for a minute?"

"No."

"Well too bad. Can't leave a dying man, you'd feel too bad. So you're stuck with me. But you listen good, okay? Because you aren't dragging me into anything. Whatever life you have, I want to have a part of that. Because you're my son. Wherever you are, whatever you do, I want to help because you're family. What you'd be doing by leaving me out of it is depriving me of someone I love, depriving me of knowing one of the best kids I've ever known."

"Shut up." Five says, choked.

"Nope, it's sappy time." Rick states, "Maybe asking you to come find me is selfish, but I don't care. No matter what version of me exists, I want to be in your life."

"My life is a walking joke, why would you want any part of that?"

"It has been my privilege to watch you grow up. To help you. To be here for you. Of course I'd want to be there to watch you grow up the rest of the way."

"But -"

"Shut up, just let me tell you that I am so proud of you. You never give up, and your heart is so big. You love so much and so loudly, and it's been the highest honor of my life to be included in your family."

Five pauses for a moment to collect himself before simply saying - "You're the best dad I've ever had."

Rick snorts, "Considering my competition, I'd sure hope so. That bar was so low old Reggie was practically limbo dancing with the devil. Now get over here and give an old man a hug."

They don't bury Rick, when he dies. They don't have time and the ground is too hard and they don't have the heart to move him. Instead the pack everything up and seal him in the shelter they'd lived in.

Dolores pulls out a bottle of ancient nail polish and painstakingly writes Rick's name on the wall with his birth year and an approximate current year. They aren't 100% sure though, since time blends together out in the apocalypse, but it's something.

They continue by themselves. They get older.

Dolores jokingly calls him her husband because the way his face scrunches up makes her cackle. They see other people very occasionally, usually passing through. Usually groups. Dolores and Five get to flex their hosting skills, though more than one group declines their cockroach stirfry.

("It's a family recipe." Five says with amusement in his eyes that usually manages to drown out old grief.)

"Jeeze, that kid couldn't have been older'n twenty-three." Dolores complains, "Makes me feels positively ancient."

"They wouldn't have known any world 'cept for the apocalypse." Five muses, pouring some boiled water into wine glasses because they might be living in the apocalypse but they can be fancy.

"Do you ever think about that?" Dolores asks, turning to him with no judgement, just curiosity. "When you go back, you'll be like, erasing them from existence."

Five shrugs, "Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe this place will just split off into an alternate timeline."

"Maybe none of this is real." Dolores says, amusement coloring her voice. "Maybe you aren't talking to a real person at all. Maybe this is just a symbol of your insanity and cracked mind."

"Dolores, I literally have a scar where you stabbed me. Did I somehow manage to stab myself in the back?"

"Scraped you, I scraped you. By accident."

"So you maintain." Five says haughtily, swirling his water in his wine glass like a pretentious prick.

"I could totally be fake. You don't know my life."

"I know way too much about you, Dolores. Like, way way too much." Five scoffs, because Dolores and him have literally no secrets from one another at this point. Five even knows the truth behind what happened at Janet Scranton's thirteenth birthday party. Like, he said, way too much.

"Maybe you made it up. Maybe that's why you know so much."

"Dolores, I'm going to be honest with you right now." Five presses the tips of his fingers to his chin, "If you were a figment of my imagination, you would be so much better at math."

"Hey!" Dolores squawks indignantly, "I didn't even get to finish high school you pretentious prick!"

"Neither did I!"

"You didn't even go to high school, you brat."

"I'm fifty-two I think I've outgrown 'brat.'"

"Tell that to your attitude." Dolores says haughtily, "You're still younger than me."

"Won't be when I go back in time." Five says cheerfully, completely ignoring Dolores's venomous look.

"That's cheating."

"Sucks to suck." Five says loftily, taking another sip of his water.

Sometimes they talk about The Plan, with capital letters. What Five is going to do when he goes back in time, depending on when he pops out. Is he going to adopt his siblings? What about Reginald?

"You don't think I could kill Reginald?" Five says, holding a hand to his chest in mock offense.

"I think you should let me do it. I'll even give you control of tonight's music if you do."

"What are you doing to do? Bite his ankles? What if you're like, seven or something?"

"All the better to get away with it since I'll be too young to convict or whatever."

"Pretty sure that's not how the law works."

"How would you know? Just for that I'm playing Istanbul on repeat again."

"I don't know why you think that's a threat. That song slaps."

It takes a few more years before Five is close enough that the Commission comes to interfere. Because that's what I think happened - Five was getting too close and they stepped in because they might as well distract the man as much as they can with missions, right?

So the Handler shows up. And she offers Five a job, telling him that they have the ability to travel through time. And Five - hesitates.

"Give me some time?" Five asks, and the Handler graciously gives him 24 hours.

And he and Dolores talk it over, because now that his goal is more in sight than it has ever been and Five is scared.

"What are you waiting for? You have the chance to see your siblings again." Dolores says patiently.

"Yeah," Five says, and what he doesn't say is clear. But I won't see you.

"Five." Dolores says, and she cradles his face between her palms like he is something precious, "I have had so much time with you already. More than I would have ever. We have been so lucky, to have this time. How can I demand more than what we have already been given?"

"When have you ever not demanded the world, Dolores?" Five asks, his own hand coming up to cover Dolores's own.

"We've had decades together, Five. We're getting old. I was always going to lose you, one way or another. Nothing lasts forever."

"I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But if I had to choose a way, if I could decide where our story ends, this would be it. Letting you go, because this way you get to live. You get to see your family again. You get to save the world. I could ask for nothing more than for you to get your happy ending."

Five removes Dolores's hand from his cheek so that he can cradle it between them, "I'm happy here with you. I've never been happier. Isn't that silly? That I was happier in the apocalypse?"

"I bet killing Reggie would make you happy." Dolores laughs rustily.

"One day you're going to see the mysterious disappearance of a famous billionaire in the paper and feel a twinge of satisfaction and now have a clue why." Five laughs as well, shaking his head.

Dolores pats Five's hands, "Five, look at me. We've had our time. And you're going to give me even more of it. More time with my father. More time with my mother. I'll never know it, but you'll have saved me."

"What if this is - what if this is an alternate reality? What if I leave you here alone?"

"Then you'll be saving a 15-year-old girl from the same fate as me. Because as much as I love you, as much as I have loved this time we have had together, this is still an apocalypse. This should never have happened, and if you have a chance to go back and prevent it, then I want you to take that chance with both hands."

"Even if it means leaving you alone?"

Dolores smiles at him, "I'm not going to be alone. Far too many creepy crawlies in the apocalypse for that."

"Shut up, I'm being serious."

"Hmm." Dolores hums consideringly, "Maybe I'll head North, to that new settlement that last group said they'd heard word of. Sure they'd find some use for an old woman who's survived this long in the wilderness."

"You can have my half of the record collection." Five says, pulling her against him into a hug that she easily returns.

"As if I wouldn't have stolen them as soon as you left." She scoffs, but it's a little wet, and Five pretends his own eyes aren't leaking tears.

When The Handler comes back, Dolores gives him another hug. She also slips something into his pocket - some photos. They'd taken it a year into the apocalypse, when Dolores had found an ancient looking polaroid camera and towed it home despite Five's protests about practicality. The photos are worn and faded at the edges, but the smiles on Five's little apocalypse family's faces are undeniable.

"You'll have to see if they magically fade when you change the timeline." Dolores whispers to him with a grin, "Like in the movies."

"Okay." Five whispers back.

"You have the list of movies to watch, right?" Dolores says. Five rolls his eyes and nods because he wrote the list last night into his Vanya-book while Dolores hovered over his shoulder and critiqued his handwriting.

"And you promise to try a proper non-expired twinkie at some point?"

"That I do not promise. I think even looking at one would make me lose my lunch. I have twinkie-trauma."

"Shut up and get going." Dolores says, because the Handler is starting to tap her foot impatiently.

And off Five goes to become an assassin. Though - he's much more gentle this time. He's careful, he doesn't kill children and he usually takes jobs that don't require killing at all. He distracts and manipulates events as much as he can without killing.

He's actually much more well socialized, thanks to Rick and Dolores. Less feral child and more determined man on a mission.

Which is why he's so frustrated when he finally, finally manages to get the equations to work and falls through and falls - directly back into his stupid thirteen-year-old body.

"Shit." Five says, loudly, and revels in the surprised look on his siblings faces.

He strides into the kitchen, and they all follow him like ducklings. They look exactly the way they did when they died.

"Wow this is actually way harder than I thought it would be." Five muses, looking at their dead faces. But as Dolores would say, life is hard but you have to keep on trucking sometimes. "Whatever, what's the date?"

"Five, where have you been?" Diego demands, looking irritated. It makes Five snort in amusement.

"The future. The past. If you want like, an exact list of dates you'll have to hold your horses. I spent like, two weeks in Peru once. No souvenirs though, unfortunately."

They look taken aback, like they didn't expect Five to have quite this much sass. Oops. That is definitely Dolores's influence. Or maybe he was always a little asshole. In fairness, what teenagers aren't tiny assholes? He has an excuse.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Diego's eyebrows are furrowed in anger. It kind of takes Five aback for a second, because he remembers a Diego who stutters when he argued.

"When did you learn the fuck-word?" Five asks, raising an eyebrow before her can help it, "Grace ought to wash your mouth out with soap."

Diego immediately goes red, "Shut up!"

"Wow you're so easy to rile up. Aren't you like, twenty-something? Actually, I could figure out for myself how old you are if you gave me the date."

"I'm twenty-nine." Diego growls, like that was the point.

"Haunting!" Five says cheerfully, because that means there is way less time than he would like, narrowing his time down to a six month window.

It's extremely funny how his cheer makes all of them make faces.

It's Klaus who leans forward, "Why do you need to know?"

Klaus's face is open and curious and - (looks exactly like he did when Five found him all those years ago) - and Five can't help but answer him. "The world end on April 1st, 2019. No it isn't an April Fools joke, yes I have heard that joke like a million different times. I just want to know how close I landed so I can, you know, start working on how to fix that."

"Woah woah woah, roll it back." Allison says, holding a hand up, "What?"

"The apocalypse occurs on April 1st, 2019." Five says, slowly. "I have traveled from afar to prevent this from happening, because like, everyone dies."

"Everyone?" Vanya says weakly from the side.

She's clearly expecting to be ignored, so Five turns his head to address her directly by wiggling his hand back and forth a little. "Sort of. Like, not too many people survive at all. A handful of the human population, you know."

"But you survived?" Diego recovers admirably, if bitingly.

"Well, no." Five says rolling his eyes, "Wouldn't you just know it, Klaus here has managed to figure out a new ability!"

Everyone turns to look at Klaus, who immediately holds up his hands like he's being arrested or something, "I did not!"

"Wonderful! Now that we've established that I'm alive -"

"Why should we trust a word you say?" Luther says for the first time, looking pensive.

Five blinks, genuinely taken aback. "Because... I'm your brother? Because I can clearly and obviously time travel? Like, yeah, it would have been more convenient if I'd arrived in like, my old-body for proof-purposes, but like. I mean. Thirteen is still a pretty convincing age to be to prove time travel considering if I hadn't, I would be like, almost thirty."

"Roll it back again." Allison says firmly, "What do you mean by 'old body'?"

"Great question!" Five says pointing at Allison and smiling. Everyone looks at him weird again, and Five takes a moment to wonder if they've ever experienced positive reinforcement. Knowing Reginald, probably not. "Wait! Is Reggie alive? Wait, no, answer that in a second. Uh. When I time traveled I fucked up my body I guess, I was like, old. White hair and wrinkles-type old from spending decades in the apocalypse. But I fucked up the calculations and got booted back to my thirteen-year-old body, I guess. How, I have no idea."

"What?" Vanya says, still equally weakly.

"You have no idea how fucked up time travel is." Five whispers conspiratorially to Vanya, loud enough for the whole table to hear, "There are so many ways to die. Or permanently tear a hold in space time. But like, with life as we know if ending soon-ish, I figured I couldn't possibly fuck it up worse than it already was, y'know? Speaking of, anyone have the date again?"

"Wait, what was that about dad?" Luther asks, very focused.

"Oh, you still call him dad? Big oof." Five says automatically, because apparently his verbal filter is shot to hell after living with Dolores. It does make Klaus bark out a too-loud laugh.

"What does that mean?" Luther asks aggressively.

"It means Reginald sucks and doesn't deserve the title of 'dad,' what did you think I meant?" Five asks, and now both Diego and Vanya and both cracking smiles, though Vanya is covering hers with a hand.

"Have some respect for the dead." Luther growls, standing up and looking very large and threatening.

Five sways back, craning his head up, "Woah there big buy, sit down before I injure my poor growing spine looking up at you. Jeeze, did Reggie force feed you steroids or something? I wouldn't put it past him but like, I just want to know he at least went over the side effects of the drug with you. Also like, thanks for narrowing it down. Also terrifying! Seriously though, exact date please because if I have less than 24 hours I am going to break down crying and that is a threat."

"I love this Five." Klaus says reverently.

"March 21st." Vanya offers, finally.

"Wow! Terrifying!" Five says, clapping his hands together, "Hate that. Ten days, huh? Well, who wants to get on board the save-the-world express?"

Klaus immediately flings his hand in the air, Five points at his brother appreciatively. "Yes, excellent! I'll take the volunteer in the lovely skirt as my first team member. Any other volunteers?"

"Danke!" Klaus simpers, grinning widely like this is the vest entertainment he's had in weeks.

"I'm not just going to stand here and listen to you badmouth dad and boss us around." Luther slams his hands on the table.

"Well not with that attitude." Five snarks.

Diego raises his hand, "I would like to join team fuck dad as well."

"We can certainly debate team names later." Five says, nodding wisely as Luther gives some sort of scandalized gasp.

"Honestly, I just want to see where this is going." Klaus confesses.

Five shrugs, because he doesn't really care about the reason. "Don't you want to prove me wrong them? Prove what a well-adjusted young man Reginald Hargreeves raised?"

"Shut up." Luther grinds out, looking a moment away from throwing a punch.

"If this is all true, I have to get home." Allison cuts in, looking concerned, "I have - I have a daughter."

"I mean, if you want to give Claire a world to live in then I'd stick around, but that's just me." Five shrugs.

"You know her name?" Allison asks, obviously taken aback.

Five is almost offended, "Uh, yeah. I have her photo as well. Y'all get on like, a bizarre number of gossip magazine covers did you know that?"

Allison manages to outdo herself in terms of being taken aback once more.

There's a beat of silence, and then Five turns, "Vanya? You in?"

"Me?" Vanya blinks, looking shocked. "What can I do?"

"Yeah, what can she do?" Diego asks, crossing his arms and suddenly looking grumpy.

It baffles Five, who scrunches his nose, "Uh, like, a lot? I assume? I mean. I'm going to be honest here, just looking at y'all right now is a lot. In more ways than one! Hashtag trauma and all that, but like, name a single one of you that wouldn't be the most obvious person in the room as soon as you walked into it. Except Vanya, who somehow manages to look like a well adjusted adult, by some miracle."

"Did you just verbally say the word hashtag?" Allison asks, looking so deeply confused.

"More concerned about the trauma he tacked onto there, but y'know, to each their own." Klaus immediately cuts in.

"You think I'm well-adjusted?" Vanya asks, looking oddly touched.

"I would like to direct your attention to Diego's leather pants-scowl combo and Luther's general aura of daddy-issues." Five says pointedly, "I can practically smell the tragic comic book backstory in this room. If I'd jumped back a decade earlier this would have been Batman's wet dream of orphan selection."

"Alright! Game plan!" Five says, waving Diego's knife in his hand.

Diego's hands immediately go to his weird harness looking thing, "Hey!"

"Give me just one moment to get the tracker out." Five rolls his eyes, "Then I'll give it back, I promise. Also if someone could ask Grace for like, some antibiotics that would be good."

"What?" Allison asks, directly before Five stabs himself and there is suddenly panic at the table.

"Relax!" Five says, allowing Diego to remove the knife from his hands. He doesn't need it anyway and his hand immediately drops down to root in the wound.

"Five what the fuck!" Diego yells, but Five just pulls up bloody fingers and waves the tracker into Diego's stupefied face.

"What the fuck is that, Five?" Allison demands, looking very shaken.

"I literally just said it was a tracker." Five points out, "Now, I think our first team activity should be voting on whether we destroy it or take it out to bumfuck nowhere and ditch it to confuse the Commission."

"What the fuck is the Commission?" Diego barks.

"Man. Maybe I should just hit up Rick." Five muses, "This is going to take so much explaining."

"Who is Rick."

"So much explaining."

#survivors au #well adjusted five au #five actually has some social skills!#and an idea of what an actual parent looks like as well #klaus absolutely adores this version of five #who quotes vines and uses gen z slang with the best of them #five has been reliably informed that public education is worse than the apocalypse #but he's also pretty sure working with his family is worse as well #five: i have so much trauma lol #klaus: oh big same #vanya: mood #five is somehow the most well adjusted hargreeves #and the most responsible #he doesn't legally exist and he doesn't pay taxes but somehow he has his shit together #five showing up at rick's house: you don't know me but i know you in the future #rick: what the fuck #five: don't make me bring up bethany midler from highschool because you gave me so many embarrassing stories to convince yourself with #rick: okay okay i believe you and you are???#five: your son from the future lol what's up dad want to help save the world #five arriving back at the manor like: WHAT'S UP LOSERS RICK IS NOW YOUR DAD TOO BC GOD KNOWS Y'ALL NEED AN ACTUAL FATHER FIGURE #klaus calls rick a dilf and five kidney punches him hard enough that klaus can't even properly introduce himself #it's better for everyone that way #delores: 15 and ready to fuck someone up #delores: i'm not staying with this weirdo (diego) while you go off with my dad #five threateningly: don't make me bring up what really happened to dad's good suit in 2012 #delores: i will stay right here #rick: wait WHAT happened to my good suit #five: unimportant don't you want to save the world #long post #far tua long

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