#bc they live in a mindset of 'you become your parents bc its all you know uwu' and then never try to do things differently

[shwarmii]

'i dont think Ares physically abuses his kids, mostly because i dont think he is present enough in any of his kids' lives to find a fucked up "reason" to hit them (i would not be surprised if the flinch and whatnot was from a sparring match gone too rough the last time they met tho)' Ares as that 'coach' dad who realizes their kid's failing at something and makes them do it over and over again while yelling until they 'finally get it right' makes a lot of sense.

The dad who's not abusive he's helping his kid succeed, he's teaching them what they need to know in this world, doing his job to train them up right.

Even if he's had them running wind sprints til they throw up because they lost a foot race to one of the unclaimed demigods.

this ask is referencing this post

lmao close, but that would imply that he was present in his kids' lives, which he wasnt (also, what youre describing is abuse. that is considered an abusive practice for coaches/drill sergeants/whatnot to do, that is considered an abusive punishment. its just also not Ares hitting his own kids, which i understand is what you meant, no worries lmao) but i do think you have the right idea! like Book!Ares would probably be upset about losing "battles" he percieves as important enough that a child of his losing would be considered a slight against him personally. my intent had been to imply "something affectionate of Book!Ares, like a friendly spar, probably would not have felt friendly". bc i dont think Ares would have let his kids win or gone easy on them (which can be a good thing and a bad thing. his kids are at constant risk of death through virtue of just... being a demigod, so giving them false confidence is bad. but also tearing their confidence apart would also be bad. i think for this Ares, the idea of letting his kids win would hurt his pride so he wont allow it. which makes it a lose-lose no matter what. i mean. this is the guy willing to fully square up against 12 year-old Percy Jackson afterall. again, age and relationship dynamics dont mean much to Book!Ares at any rate)

if i could have my own ideal Ares depiction in a book series, he'd be a good dad, at least a decent one. for reasons that would be a huge tangent for me to get into rn. but, alas, i did not write "Percy Jackson". so, we have what we have in Book!Ares and we will have what we have with Show!Ares. which, again, i do think is fine. all the gods have to be p shit people/parents in order for Kronos to convince so many kids (claimed and unclaimed) to come to his side, like they have to be inattentive if nothing else (which is why i resent a bit that Apollo is being backpedaled into a good dad. like. nah, Dionysus makes sense to make into a good/decent dad due to his exile demanding he be present in his kids' lives; and the Big Three, primarily Hades and Poseidon, being attentive makes sense because they barely have any kids these days; and the minor gods being good parents now thay they can openly claim their kids without fear of consequences for themselves/said kids also makes sense. but the remaining gods of the main 12 (so 12 minus the Big Three minus Hera, minus Aretmis = 7 remaining gods) have to ALL not be good in order to perptuate that whole toxic mindset of "glory = godly parental attention". i could understand the godly parents becoming better parents if they were in similar situations as Dionysus, like if Percy forced the gods to be more present in their kids' lives. which would, as i assume, change their personalities some as, like with the whole "our personalities change because we moved from Greece to the USA" enviromental bit would also imply the people they surround themselves with change who they are

(tho. uh. Greece was very famously bad to women. like. it legitimately sucked to be a woman in Ancient Greece, with the exception of MAYBE Sparta. theres a reason why people joke "yeah, the Ancient Greeks were cool with gay sex, not bc they were progressive, but bc they hated women that much". like their politics didnt allow women v many rights, if any, the most rights given being to women in Sparta but still. also they had a fucked up idea of "love" as a type of "uncontrollable insanity", it was legitimately described like an illness, which in retrospect explains all the SA in their legends (tho i am glad we do have some healthy depictions of love here and there). so. toxic masculinity did definitely exist there. i could talk ad nauseam about the debatability of how much toxic masculinity was in Greece and how much is it us projecting tho. think of Dr Emily Wilson. anyway, i digress. my point here has been "toxic masculinity/sexism existed there in sizable amounts, why should it change Ares so much now that he's in the USA"? to which the answer is: Riordan was an English teacher who was a hobbyist of Ancient Greek lore that went with what was in the public's pop culture osmosis knowledge of Ares at the time. its very recently that we have begun to question if that osmosis was correct. anyway.)

so, in the sense that who they are around will apparently change their personality: being consistently around their kids who just want good parents could force the godly parents to become good parents? its a stretch but i would accept it, personally, for the cathartsis wish-fulfillment of kids in shitty situations getting at least one good parent. which, many kids dont get to have at least one good parent (much less two or more good parents). think "Turning Red" and how it reflects a realistic mother/daughter dynamic that is unhealthy but morphs into a moment of reconciliation and cathartsis; giving us an example to strive for on what is healthy/how you should be treated and look up to for both child and parent's references. lots of kids will never get to have what Mei did, but it is so nice to feel that cathartic wish-fulfillment. and i would be so down for same that kind of cathartic wish-fulfillment to happen in "Percy Jackson" with its godly parents to the point that i truly would not mind that aforementioned stretch of logic it would take to get there. alas. (but that doesnt happen sO, RIORDAN, STOP BACKPEDALING AND TRYING TO MAKE APOLLO A LOVING FATHER, HE'S ONE OF THE SEVEN GODS THAT HAVE TO BE P SHITTY AND APOLLO WAS NOT INITIALLY INTRODUCED AS A VERY GREAT FATHER ANYWAY. but i digress). so i can accept Ares having to be a bad dad in order for the plot/war to make sense, in order to have representation that abused kids can grow/be happy in spite of their trauma, in order to show the problems with toxic masculinity in a father figure as well as shining a light on "hey, this is so prevelant in America that it became part of at least one of the gods' personalities", and so on. but i do want to make it clear that i dont like it. but one of the first things drilled into me in college-level English critiques is "it's not about what YOU would do if this was your story, its about the story in front of you and what the author wanted to achieve. have your criticisms be based on that, not on something that wasn't going to happen". so like, for Riordan's purposes? making each of those 7 godly parents bad parents in a different way is good writing that makes sense for his plot to work, and Ares being a bad godly parent in a rough and tough way makes sense. like, Athena is patronizing and thinks she is always right, meaning she doesn't listen to her kids. Aphrodite is emotionally manipulative to the point of being abusive and scary to her kids. and Hermes is so busy that he can't really be present for his kids, no matter what he feels personally, and then additionally feels like he is not allowed to interact with them directly when he does have free time. and Dionysus, the most present parent due to his exile, is shitty to all his kids' camp-friends by proxy, at minimum, which is very alienating if nothing else (again, we dont get to directly see him parent at all so far into the series that ive read. so idk how else he is a bad parent. probably is overprotective after having buried so many of his own kids this whole time? who knows). all of them are/have to be bad parents in their own ways (again, for the plot to work if nothing else) and it makes sense of Ares to be bad in THIS way

but yeah! that was just a very long-winded way of saying "if Book!Ares was more present to care about smaller things like foot-races or if this was something he cared about that was bigger than a regular foot-race, then yeah! youre right, he would be like that. because he kind of has to be". im just waffling about Ares' characterization bc i do agree with you but i just also wish Book!Ares didnt HAVE to be this way in order for the plot to work (and i am mentally slapping Riordan's hand anytime he tries to backpedal on what i distinctly remember as his original characterization of Apollo in the first series. bc if those 7 gods all have be different types of bad parents for the war plotline to work, then Apollo does not get special treatment to get to retroactively have been a good dad the whole time afterall). i am not excited to see show!Ares, but i am excited the whole thing about "Clarisse will never be enough because she is not his son" thing implies Clarisse will be on-screen more. and, again, i do super respect the decision to do this to Book!Ares' character. the representation aspect of a child of fatherly abuse still being able to grow/find happiness is also important (tho im personally just not excited to see as the "abuse" part of the representation as someone who is a child of fatherly abuse. but i will admit it is important! and it is good representation to have!)

and i do just LOVE Clarisse and will gobble up any crumbs of her im given. i really hope the show gives her (and Chris too! bc that is her future boyfriend lol) more screentime ♡

but yeah, to circle back, youre right on your chatacterization of him! and im glad you like how i understand and interpret Book!Ares to be like ♡♡♡ thanks for the Ask ♡

#percy jackson show #pjo ares #ares pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #i will never ever stay fully on topic. i am a babbler. such is my curse. i tried tho lmao

[strawberrybabydog]

thank you for talking about the transabled thing bc we have BIID & are chronically & mentally ill and physically cannot think about the way some Tumblr Kids ruined a good term for a harmless experience for too long without getting really upset. I didnt ask for Any of this and the idea that someone wants to hallucinate or whatever is mind-boggling. imo it just sounds like kids being kids and doing shit for attention that they'll regret once they're older. but idk there are some wild people out there

to an extent i appreciate kids being kids. i was once an attention seeking 12 year old, and while i do regret it (obviously, although i didnt do anything as aggregious as THIS) i also understand that i was doing it as a cry for help. my behavior wasnt entirely my own fault, and if literally a single adult in my life had done an ounce of critical thinking, i would have gotten the support i needed & wouldnt have felt like i had to cry for help. i agree with you but i dont really like dismissing attention seeking behavior from kids, cuz kids dont do shit For No Reason & that mindset is what made me be like that in the first place & prevented me from getting support i desperately needed /lh /not scolding u. yes kids are dumb and annoying but theyre also Very vulnerable and they still should get the support they need, yknow? not saying ur not saying this, im just kinda rambling

... but like i said, what i was doing wasnt as aggregious as this. whatever i did only caused internal harm and affected nobody other than myself. the older i get, the more ive watched Internet Kids become more harmful to themselves and, especially others. its fun to argue when youre a stupid rebellious 12 year old but, when i was a kid there wasnt "discourse." it was arguing with conservative christians about gay marriage (like, very black and white issues, because 12 year olds cant understand nuance)... infighting didnt really exist back then... nothing similar to this existed back then

idk. there is no solution. the power lies in the hands of parents who clearly dont care. best we can do as tumblr.hell citizens is to just ignore it until it goes away. even i feel bad for talking about it because i am also now bringing attention to it

it is also mind boggling to me that someone who isnt like me at all, sees me & my struggles, and wants them. slush is very cool, but positive interactions with my hoarde only make up about 20% of living with DCS. the rest is being re-traumatized on a daily basis (which, yeah is actually sometimes by my hoarde too)... i fear i romanticize living with schizophrenia because i often talk positively about my experiences, but i have never spoken to a single person about my trauma related to it because i literally cant. i choke up completely. its just too painful for me. its unfathomable to broadcast that to thousands if not even my partner knows

#sorry adhd people for not bolding btw i know im horrible !!! i just dont want to bring a whole lot of attention 2 stupid discourse #this post isnt super important mostly ramblings #dogcourse #not dog #asks

[stregoniconiconii]

the struggle of wanting stobin to live their life together in a qpr, but then my conflicting views of Steve as someone who will get crazy baby fever and adopt some kids because being a dad is his dream, and robin being childfree by choice rears it head, and i'm unable to wrap my head around it😔 i want all 3, but how??😭

ooffff noooo I completely get this I can't give u a solution bc idk either. altho robin's choice to be child free trumps Steve's baby fever in my mind. and I have Thoughts about the adoption industry but that's not the point. butttt I think Steve gets to connect and be a part of children's lives through his job, no matter what it ends up being. like ive spoken about this before but if Steve ends up working at a school, he would fiercely defend his kids (no matter what position he's in. teacher, basketball coach, hell even the janitor, he'd be kind to children) and I like the idea of firefighter/emt Steve too and I think he'd be part of a bunch of outreach programs to help kids. even like. hairdresser Steve would be extra nice to children and he'd help them where he could (I keep thinking about him untangling the matted hair of a neglected kid or giving a gender affirming haircut to a trans teen and just <3) or if he ends up working in a hospital (nurse Steve...) I can see him gravitating towards obstetrics/pediatric care and helping sick kids and holding little babies. idk I just think there's a lot of ways to look after children without those children necessarily being your own you know? but I do also want him to be a dadmom so the dilemma is real

robin not wanting children is so real altho I Could see her changing her mind. mostly bc I think for a lot of queer women the things that make up a traditional heterosexual marriage become like conflated with being in a relationship with a man. like ive known many a lesbian who'd start off being firmly anti marriage, anti having children, etc. but then as they start getting into relationships with women they're like oh wait. I want a wife I want to cook her dinner I want to raise children with another woman. and like realising that the thing they didn't want was a man. which like! valid. could be part of robin's mindset, but could also not. but it could be that since she's choosing a partnership with Steve no matter how unconventional she doesn't want to "give in" to the expectations of building a life and home with a man, with children being those expectations. but yeah like no matter her feelings on the matter I think she's of the mindset that if she doesn't know for sure that she wants it then she won't do it. which Steve understands completely bc he knows being an unwanted child sucks ass

idk maybe they end up being foster parents later in life. most foster kids don't end up getting adopted and a lot only need a placement for a few years while their birth parents sort their shit out. it's tough letting a kid go but that's the purpose of fostering, to give a child a safe home while its needed and when it's no longer needed...you have to let go.

altho slightly evil au. life as we know it but platonic (essentially stobin parents bc their friends who do have children end up tragically dying and they were listed as who should look after the children)

#queer platonic partner stobin

[pufferfishguy44]

*taylor swift song title*

yes that’s the title

LI: love interest

MC: maine character

MC-H- hero identity specifically

MC-C- civilian identity specifically

sorry about typos, there will be many

*taylor swift song title*

in which a long standing city superhero must learn how to trust and love after losing many of the people in their life, and living a dual personality for decades

nb/nb

first person/switching perspective

angsty adult is seen breaking up with someone, walking out of the room, jumping out the window and flying/swinging/zooming/kachowing superhumanly away

switch to

mind-numbingly angsty teen is seen losing

parental figure/lover/someone important and absolutely losing it.

flash back and forth from adult to teen until their stories converge into one person, now u have backstory

LETS 👏 DO 👏ABANDONMENT 👏 AND 👏TRUST 👏IISSUUEESS 👏 HELL YEAHH

pt. 2

adult hero with A👏BAN👏DON👏MENT issues is bitter and stuck in their ways. sure nothing is going to change, especially since the death of their soulmate, they’ve lost all hope, becoming more and more brutal in their methods of vanquishing villains and criminals. morally grey, only stopping crime bc they feel its their job

NEW POV enter: well meaning, but clumsy, ND, love interest, who is a new hire at the workplace of the civilian identity. CI=head of big company maybe? high ranking big job bro? possibly assistant to MC-C. bubbly and naïve, but also demonstrates incredible information recognition skill, proves to be cool under pressure, VERY STRONG SENSE OF JUSTICE, biggest fan of MC-H

slowly grows on MC-C, despite annoyance at first

fluff scene, fluff scene, daily routine, fluff scene ALTERNATING POV’S THROUGHOUT

holy shit look LI is cAtChiNg fEeLiNgs and

MC is too, but is super scared and wont admit it. no no no i always hurt ppl, etcetera, im a burden blah blah blah, keeps trying to distance themself yadada bUT LI keeps pushing the two of them closer, even if it’s totally by accident and LI’s just autistic lmao.

PART THREE!!!

LI, finds out the secret identity of MC by accident, confrontation, omg its you aaahh!!! my hero!! holy shit!! MC takes this as disgust (?? gay ppl are dumb dont ask me), panicks and distances themself, and in the panic and lack of control, trauma from losing first love, breaks up and leaves. 😮. noone physically sees them for two, three agonising weeks

LI’s bsf has to listen to this, she’s the bisexual fat POC icon who runs the goddamn world while providing comic relief for you poor sluts out there

annnnd thats the end

just kidding!

angsty angsty angsty angst intensifies, both of them torn up, its my fault its my fault waaah i have the mindset of a 15 year old who failed drivers ed aeaeaeaeaeaeae

MC: mumford & sons i fucked it up this time

LI: youre hot and youre cold youre yes and youre no, but i cant stop loving you oh whoa

youre in and youre out youre up and youre down, but needless to say im hooked. *epic pop-punk ballad*

LI’s perspective:

theyre never coming back theyre never coming back theyre never coming back theyre never coming back theyre never coming back oh shit wait they came back

*apologies*

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!!

“im so sorry it was all my fault i never should have fallen for you in the first place. i always end up hurting more people than i save. you should forget all about me and go on to live the best life you can. i do nothing but wrong people, please just walk away whilst you can. i-

*gets kissed*

“what are you doing??”

“what you told me to.”

“i said to go live your life!!”

“you are my life”

“why?”

“because i really like you, dummy. was that not obvious??”

“you what?? but all i’ve done- i’m not- you like me??” (a/n: this fuckin teenager)

“of course. i know you havent been perfect, but neither have i. we’re human-“

*look of objection*

“dont start, alien. just because you can kachow around doesnt mean you have to have everything figured out. you need time to figure out how to love again, and im willing to be there for the whole journey, be it the good, the bad or the extraterrestrial.”

achievement unlocked: therapy

montage of fights, and makeups, smut and breakups, both loving with their whole broken souls, each trying to heal the other, until the day they die

post credits scene: we find out LI ran a blog about MC-H’s activity, analysing every fight, rescue and recovery to see the evolution of the hero.

new post about how the MC-H fighting style is much different than anything else theyve seen in the past, maybe the MC-H finally met somebody ;)

and fucking scene jesus christ my wrist hurt and ive been writing over an hour holy shit this was supposed to be a two sentence idea for a plot

#fuck gender #ocs #superhero

[4dtk]

anon: “hewoo !! umm can you make nct ideal type like age , apperance , height , cute or sexy etc 🌬️” let’s fuckin GOOOO. i’ll be using gender neutral terms for this! please tell me if i used she/her for any part as i’m more used to writing for fem readers!

sorry this took like almost a week i’ve been really busy lately, i apologise! under a cut because its so long lol

disclaimer: tons of “i feel”s and “i think”s; plus, this is just my headcanons of the boys! remember that all of you are beautiful and lovely and special in ur own way!! <3

TAEIL

i feel like taeil would want someone closer to his age (+/-), unless,,, UNLESS he finds someone he really clicks with (like haechan for eg) if they’re at a younger age

if he really does then taeil will 100% make the effort

ngl taeil would love a person taller than him, would worship the shit outta them 

if he gets teased for being shorter he doesnt care LMAO this man will have his hand around your middle and eye the other person mockingly

would love when you own your appearance with confidence, he likes to be by your side to admire how comfortable you feel in your skin

see him being a more traditional man by dating a korean person, but if he’s attracted to someone not of his race, i can see him making the effort

appearance? maybe someone who cleans up well, in a sense who’s a bit proper in their hygiene and like hair or accessories ig. he doesn’t mind what you wear tho, personally leaning more towards the comfy styles of cardigans and baggy clothes.

JOHNNY

either wants someone younger or older… i’m leaning more towards a younger s/o though bc he naturally has a “taking care” kinda vibe, and it’s sweet to see since he naturally takes care of the younger members like mark and haechan

wants to SMOTHER his s/o so i also think he’d want someone shorter than him. the man is a fucking skyscraper lawd

generally likes to give love A LOT since he’s an only child and wants to share that affection with someone who aren’t his parents or the members

but, but, like taeil, i see him really liking being held by his s/o, not just in a small spoon but laying on your chest, lying in between your legs with his head on ur tummy… so cute

i feel like johnny wouldn’t care much for appearance, nor your race since he kinda has the freedom to engage in english conversation. likes a cutesy positive vibe that can share the positivity and happiness he radiates normally!!

TAEYONG

feel like he would go for someone a tad bit older than he is, bc he likes to be taken care of

looking over the members can become really tiring and he needs some sort of solace to relax in

honestly if you’re younger too, he wouldn’t mind, he just needs to be babied LOL

likes tall people… ngl…

would like someone more in tune with their emotion and just not afraid to speak their mind? he likes confidence tbh

can see him going for a foreign person if he’s really passionate about them, would learn english/your native language 

taeyong likes a person that likes their outfits and doesn’t care what you wear out as long as you feel comfortable in it

would prefer more of a calm s/o, but easy-going and fun when they want to be

YUTA

doesnt really care for age tbh. if you’re able to bring him happiness and love him he doesn’t mind whether you’re older or younger

shorter 100%. wants to hold you very much, big spoon, the one holding you in the relationship

would go for a foreign person, but honestly, would want someone he can speak japanese with too. even he has shotaro now, he wants like just a closer person to confide in and also just share lil cute inside jokes with <3

yuta just wants his s/o to be themselves. just. yes. (i mean unless your personality is shit but he doesnt want someone to put on a front with him)

although he also likes cute people… he just wants to pamper u and make u feel like you’re the only one

KUN

goddamn, six kids plus three pets? this man is hanging on by a thread, but he would like a younger and shorter s/o

what’s one more right? 

also naturally has the taking care vibes like johnny, but there’s just something so… dom… about him AHASHFHEHR

would lean more toward a chinese- or korean-speaking s/o but

doesn’t mind a foreign s/o IF they make the effort. he would if he knows you would too. 

kun is lowkey energetic tbh and would want someone who can read the room of whether he’s comfy enough to let loose and remain the ‘parental’ figure

cute people i think will attract him, but oh my gosh when you’re self-assured? WHEW he really likes that, how you’re uncaring of people’s opinions regarding your appearance or personality

DOYOUNG

doesn’t mind older or younger or the same age, although i seem him gravitating toward an older s/o

this man is also 100% stressed. needs to be held, there’s a balance though in your relationship of who holds who though

would stay dating a korean/korean-speaking person i feel. not saying he wouldn’t make the effort but he takes his idol life very seriously and the outcomes if he were to get together with someone who doesnt speak his native tongue

he would want someone proper, like taeil, and would prefer his s/o to be cute and stuff

doyoung needs to know what you want though, so you’ll need to be sure of your choices basically

would like it more if his s/o was calm and just collected bc like taeyong, he needs a haven to relax in when he’s done for the day or when he needs to recharge

TEN

same age or older s/o !!! wants to be taken care of, this man also has a lot of love to give, altho they’re towards selective people like his members, pets, you

would gravitate towards tall people i feel

you need to love leon and louis. period. bella is a hot second.

ten would want an s/o who supports him wholeheartedly, seeing as he has so many talents that sometimes he gets caught up in showing talent for his idol life as opposed to creating things for himself. it’s easy to get lost in the pressure of the media to put out content that he feels is half- assed.

ten knows of his worth, but sometimes he just needs a bit of confirmation and support from the right people to truly create and post what he wants to

he would date a partner who doesn’t speak korean/chinese. he has english and thai and basic japanese baby!!! but yea, he def wouldn’t mind a foreign partner AND would go search up on resources to learn your native tongue!

another person who doesn’t care about how you dress. nor how you look as long as you’re being yourself!

JAEHYUN

oh, younger definitely and a shorter s/o

definitely doesn’t mind an english speaking s/o, although he would prefer someone who can speak korean as well. with s/o’s of other languages, he wouldn’t mind learning your language, although give him some time

the language barrier will be a bit awkward a first tho, but if you know minimal english, i think that’s more than enough for jaehyun to at least steer the convo!

jaehyun is the guy to always give me first love, love from high school vibes so he’s usually the one to embrace you, but LOVES it when you’re the one to initiate contact and affection

jaehyun knows he’s good looking, but he does want an s/o who loves him for who he is, who sees all his good traits as equal to his looks. he would also like an s/o who has a live in the moment mindset, bc he spends a lot of time in his idol life, that a carefree s/o to take him away from the stress of idol life would really help

a sucker for a cute style ngl, pastels and clips in your hair and stuff. 

WINWIN

wouldn’t mind someone a tad bit older, although i can see him with a younger person/same aged person too

shorter s/o!

sicheng wouldn’t care much for appearance, but he likes it when his s/o is confident, or in general confidence attracts him like the other guys in this post. that confidence would allow for him to be ‘guided’ in the relationship

would lean more towards a chinese/korean speaking person, but would try forming a r/s with someone of a different race to see how the language barrier would work

someone who is respectful of his space 100%. winwin wants someone who knows their boundaries in a context that there’s this sense of “i know when he’s feeling upset and wants to be left alone”, something like unspoken exchanges that the other just understands

sicheng also likes when his s/o is a little playful and cheeky, but not to the extent of the boys. just the right amount of outgoingness i guess haha. he would accommodate a bit of wildness, but sometimes it tires him out so you’ll need to know when to tone it down

JUNGWOO

feel like he would lean to an older s/o, but not necessarily needing to keep him in check because you’d be on the other side entertaining his antics lol

jungwoo uses up a lot of his energy tho, so sometimes he tends to go quiet and just likes to slump in your embrace

when he’s not quiet tho, he’s pretty cheeky in a sneaky kinda way and would want someone to reciprocate that.

jungwoo would also like an s/o who cheers him on a lot. he’s a bit insecure naturally, so he would want someone who doesn’t miss a beat to tell him that he’s doing good that day and would like a random compliment sometimes

would like to be held more than holding someone tbh

he wouldn’t care much for appearance, but does lean more towards cutesy appearances

LUCAS

younger and shorter s/o

would want an s/o to just calm down and rest with at times. sure he likes to have fun with his members and with his partner, but most dates with his partner has him in their arms and usually involves a calm activity

i mentioned this in chenle’s one as well, but the happiness he feels with his members is different from the one he feels with his partner, although lucas’ one is more of a blur where chenle’s a bit more distinct. does this make sense

wouldn’t ask much in an s/o, tbh. even if they’re just doing nothing, as long as lucas know he’s making you happy then he’s content with that. like when you’re smiling and loving him, then that’s all he really needs to be honest

lucas would not mind taking up an r/s with a foreign s/o, although he would have trouble with language barriers. would prefer a chinese/catonese speaking partner bc then he’s able to practise his dialect. he’d have a korean-speaking s/o too, although he sometimes stumbles over his korean a teeny bit

would love a cute style definitely!!!

MARK

same age, probably. he would feel more comfortable in terms of affection and conversation i feel!

equal amount of who holds who, but loves when his s/o initiates and cuddles him first 

likes baggy clothes on you tbh, likes to match appearances and styles with you

wouldn’t mind an s/o of any race. he’s dedicated to learning your language if anything, the man likes to learn about new things

mark just wants someone fun to be around who returns his laughter and jokes, kinda like how johnny does

he’s suffered enough from johnny though (“ah, mark! the smell!”) and would probably like it if you defend him instead LOL (sometimes you poke fun tho)

he would also want his s/o to just reciprocate him in terms of laughter and happiness level. mark is always so bubbly that he wants someone to smile at him and laugh with him

XIAOJUN

would like an older s/o ngl, i feel like he would want to be guided as well

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short tbh

but would like an s/o who brings him out of his shell like the members do.

he wants to be able to laugh without trouble around his s/o and let loose. xiaojun sometimes gets annoyed, mostly feigned annoyance, so it would be nice for an s/o to fit in like the members: making fun of his angry face and rolling eyes and then having some light banter

he’s also gonna need an s/o who’s not afraid to pull him back whenever he says out of pocket things. they’re not necessarily harmful just extremely blunt at times that makes you cringe and you have to pull him back to tell him of his comments LOL

xiaojun would... not go into an r/s with a foreign partner i feel, but he will TRY if the conversation is not too awkward, save for like activities and such. like others in this post, he’ll make an effort if he’s committed to you, and only if you’re sure of dating him as well

xiaojun loves a cute style lawd!

HENDERY

same age, younger, older, tbh i don’t think hendery cares that much

he would want a shorter s/o though, i feel

wants a fun and playful s/o, someone who’s just so enjoyable to be around that he sometimes forgets himself and gets lost in the happiness you two give out

he does also want an s/o who can make him shy and basically challenge his personality, but not in a headbutt way where it’s your same two personalities against each other. it’s rather two variations of the same feeling like your playful aura against hendery’s playful aura, which would be honestly quite fun to watch and experience bc you’re just trying to one-up each other

and idk, because he’s talkative quite often, he feels like it would be nice to be the flustered, eyes-wide one for once

hendery in a foreign partner relationship... he would try, but i think he’d be a little intimidated at the languages that he has to have some time to warm up. he would commit and make the effort if he was willing to, though

oversized fits are his shit!!!! he also doesn’t mind seeing you explore with your appearance and style, esp in the goth or rebel kinda style 

RENJUN

same age or younger, wouldn’t mind if you were taller since he knows his height is not THAT high

renjun loves for you to hold him though

the cheeky lad wants a laid back s/o, who doesn’t take life so seriously as well and like hendery, would like it if his s/o was a bit goofy and playful

would also want an s/o who’s deep about the universe and stuff, kinda intelligent to debate alien life and what not, he wants to be able to talk to you about anything and keep the conversation going even if you’re talking about something simple and dumb like snacks

i also can’t exactly see renjun go for a foreign s/o, mainly because of the language barrier, but i can see him trying if he’s able to get help from mark hyung and if the situation allows for you to meet frequently

renjun would definitely like a cute style on his s/o, but also would like more flashy or out-of-the-box outfits. as long as you’re comfy then he’s fine

JENO

same age. he likes to be taken care of though, would maybe be a 60/40 split of you taking care vs him taking care of you respectively

i feel like jeno would like a shorter s/o!

cute s/o, maybe matching up to the personality of jaemin since he was his longest friend from before. enthusiastic while he takes the back seat and admires you

while jaemin loses his social battery over time, jeno wouldn’t mind if you were a literal menace like haechan bc he feels that would make the r/s really fun

see him preferring a korean-speaking person. kinda like doyoung but not quite, he’s more careful than serious (?) about his idol life, and he wouldn’t want to take the risk

HAECHAN

same age or older i feel. equal split of who’s the embracer in the relationship though 

wouldn’t mind a taller person, although he’d prefer if you were around the same height bc he doesn’t want to be teased by his members lol

i feel like haechan would rlly like y2k outfits on his s/o? a mix of baggy outfits as well as cute ones

his natural outgoing personality allows him to get together with a foreign person i feel, bc he’d suggest things that don’t need talking like bowling or an arcade y’know? he struggles a bit with native languages tho, bc he’s so used to speaking korean

btw please egg him on, he loves it when you do it and also do dumb things with him. he would want someone who doesn’t take life so seriously while also possessing the ability to think deeply i feel, but mostly someone who can keep smiling and strong even through hardships. kinda a happy-go-lucky personality

JAEMIN

younger, i feel. like johnny he has a lot of affection to give like he usually does to jisung…. jisung is grown up alr tho so :”(

loves giving the cuddles, big spoon, etc. he just wants you to feel loved no matter what size you are

he also would love tall people ngl! although sometimes he can’t decide between short and tall people

jaemin would appreciate an affectionate s/o who’s committed to him and also a person who’s just naturally shy i feel

they don’t necessarily need to return the energetic bursts of aegyo or stuff (he’d love it though) and also someone who just enjoys life and the small little things in general

would not mind dating a foreigner, would love to learn about your native language actually!

he likes cutesy appearances i reckon, a bit of oversized styles but overall likes the pastels

YANG YANG

same age or older, likes to be taken care of tbh

yang yang is also someone who doesn’t care if you’re short or tall, and likes you either way :)

does not mind a foreign person, plus he’s moved countries a little and could maybe find solace in the fact that his homes are sometimes not fixed, esp with how many languages he speaks as well

yang yang would want an s/o who lives up to his excitement in jokes and memes. he would feel a bit down if you happen to not understand a joke although he cant blame you, but he would want someone almost identical to him? 

create chaos together and then fall asleep together

can see him liking a cute style tbh, and also reaaaaally likes to match outfits with you in your own respective styles

SHOTARO

same age, def.

i think being in nct has made him a little shy as compared to before when he was in a dance crew, so he’d need someone to encourage him while also taking care of him!!

talking to a non japanese- or korean- speaking person might scare him, so he would settle just for that. shotaro wouldn’t mind in a sense if he knows the other person is committed, but the language barrier for the first few dates would be awkward

ooohhh likes it when people are confident definitely, comfortable in their own skin. shotaro is another person i feel would really be attracted to y2k fits

like i said earlier, shotaro just needs a little push, which would help with an outgoing s/o and someone who’s not afraid to try new things. he feeds off your confidence and uses that to boost his!

CHENLE

doesn’t mind an s/o who is the same age or a tad bit older, i’m not sure if i see him with a younger s/o

doesn’t care if you’re tall or short as long as you give him his damn hugs!!!! 

outgoing personality? check. he would literally befriend anyone, and wouldn’t mind a foreign s/o who doesn’t speak korean or chinese. with his limited english, he could probably make an outing fun by doing activities together and will learn your language!!

an s/o who can calm him down. chenle uses up his energy a lot and can get worn out and just wants someone to embrace at the end of the day. i wouldn’t say its similar to taeyong who’s sometimes tired from taking care of the members, but rather in a way where it’s a little playful and bubbly in your own little circle.

it’s a different kind of happy that chenle feels with you as opposed to the joy that the members bring him.

chenle also would want someone who’s sure of themselves, more so in personality rather than apperance. he likes all sizes and colours and styles, altho leans more toward the oversized sector

SUNGCHAN

sungchan is bit mischievous, so i feel like he naturally lean towards an s/o who can kinda be the “mother slash partner” of him: either the same age or younger, leaning more toward a same aged s/o

lawd this man is so tall. i think he’d want a shorter partner, sometimes a bit awkward with the affection but overall likes to give it. plus point: he likes to see you struggle wrap your body around his to get all of him in your cuddles

he wants to be able to relate to them and wouldn’t want awkwardness, so i don’t think he would go for a foreign person as of now

sungchan likes someone to have fun with him, ofc he’s aware that he can’t take away all their problems but he would want his s/o to feel relaxed and content around him with his goofy personality

sungchan likes a cutesy style, maybe, BUT i always see him being really drawn to y2k fits!!!

JISUNG

leaning more towards the same age (+/-1). i think a noona would make him shy and a younger s/o would just feel weird to him idk. 

this man is also very tall, so probs a shorter s/o,,,,, would not mind if you are tall though!! he just likes to have you in his arms instead of the other way round (so you can’t see his flushed face)

not sure if he’d commit to a r/s that is foreign, but he would try with the help of mark-hyung or something. the reason why he’d take it was because the members would help me, but if not, he wouldn’t take the risk with his idol life at stake.

jisung wants someone who’s self-assured as well, strong in mettle and who has a strong character that helps him build up his drive. seeing you in your element helps him achieve more and he appreciates that you are able to provide him with a source of motivation

jisung likes cute stuff, but he does like oversized fits!

#nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #nct smut #nct headcanons #nct blurbs #nct reactions #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 scenarios #nct dream #nct dream imagines #jeno scenarios #jaemin imagines #johnny x reader #mark scenarios #jisung x reader #wayv scenarios #nct 127 smut #kun x reader #haechan scenarios #donghyuck fluff #nct timestamps #hendery x reader #yuta imagines #yuta nakamoto #winwin fluff #wayv reactions #nct drabbles

[cescalr]

u kno how everyone has their own version of Reverse Falls?? well i have one of those lol but rn what im saying is: my version of the au where the pines twins swap places (grunkles for mystery,,,, u kno,,, i think its called Gravity Rises? Anti-Gravity??? I can’t remember damn) yeah i have little bits of dialogue written,,,, if only i could draw... anyway all under the read more:

[[the scene where Mabel cheats off of Dipper in class; prev the scene where Stan cheats off Ford. Flashback to convo;]]

Dipper: Look. All you need is decent grades in math, right? Just copy off me. 'S not like the teachers pay attention during exams, anyway.

Mabel: I dunno, Dipper...

Dipper: Come on. We need scolarships. Our parents can't afford two full rides to college.

Mabel: It feels kinda... fraud-y, though.

Dipper: Think about it this way, hey - those rich kids pay their way past exams to a full ride, this is no more unfair than that. Just levelling the playing field. They're cheating at life - you're just opening up opportunities.

Mabel: True...

Dipper: Anyway. Nobody gets left behind, right?

Mabel: Haha. Yeah. Who's to say I won't leave /you/ behind? [punches his arm, with a smile.]

Dipper: Hah. Very funny.

Mabel: Thanks, bro-bro. Awkward sibling hug?

Dipper: Awkward sibling hug.

[hug]

Both: Pat-pat.  

---

[[Big argument! Replaces the ford accuses Stan of breaking his machine. The conversation with the headmaster [uhhh, principal? in america?? i dunno im sorry] of the school is done w/ Dipper replacing Stan and Mabel replacing Ford bc I Like To Make Things Interesting!]]

Mabel: Come on, Dipper! I mean. Just - what kind of money is in /paranormal investigation/, anyway?

Dipper: What kind of money is in sculpting?

Mabel: That's not fair.

Dipper: Neither is you repeating our parents' talking points, but here we are. It's not about the money, Mabel.

Mabel: Well if it's not, then what's the point of you being on the opposite kind of the country to me?

Dipper: What's the point of you being on the opposite side of the country to /me/? Oh, that's right. You got a full ride anywhere you'd like, and there I am, trouble-maker, crazy-guy extraordinaire with the weird interests and stuipd belief in the supernatural. There was only one film school that'd take me, Mabel. You're the one who locked yourself into California.

Mabel: Why didn't you /tell/ me?

Dipper: I didn't think you'd want me around that much. What have I ever done, except pull down your stupid reputation?

Mabel: You can't still be on that. You know I don't-

Dipper: Still didn't say anything, though did you?

Mabel: That's not fair at all, Dipper.

Dipper: You never say anything. And here I am, always defending you. Maybe I felt we needed some space, huh? Maybe you give off the aura of wanting space. I'm not fun to be around.

Mabel: I didn't mean that. I just meant - you can get... kind of into a headspace I can't follow. I'm not - I don't believe in all your -

Dipper: Dumb conspiracies?

Mabel: Yes! Dipper, just - there's nothing down that road. You know that. You'll be -

Dipper: A laughingstock? Been there. Used to it.

Mabel: It doesn't have to be like that. You're really, really smart-

Dipper: So the only thing I can want to do is science?

Mabel: No, that's not it at all -

Dipper: He's a punk, he's headed nowhere, 'Mabel's a good girl, a real talent, smart and artistic... Dipper has the brain for a good life, but not the mindset. There's Fantartstic Academy, it's in California, so it's not too far from home, but it's on the other side of the state, a good distance away - I think it'd be good for your daughter to get independence, to find friends and a life outside of the trouble her brother brings. Mabel could have a real good go of it -'

Mabel: Stop it! Dipper, you know I don't believe-

Dipper: But you do! You always have!

Mabel: Just because you're /anxious/ doesn't mean you're right! We're okay! You're just paranoid!

Dipper: That's not fair.

Mabel: Oh, so now /I'm/ the unfair one? I get it. Things are only unfair when it affects /you/.

[pause]

Mabel: Why d'you have to do this?

Dipper: I - I have to prove that I'm right, Mabel. I have to. This stuff exists, I know it does, I've just got to find it.

Mabel: And, what? You're going to prove something people have been trying to figure out for centuries? Dipper. How can you tell me to get out of dreamworld when that's where you're staying?

Dipper: Screw you.

Mabel: Screw /you/.

---

As for other stuff;

Mabel makes the portal! It takes Dipper 30 years to activate it after she’s pushed in bc her instructions are Terrible. Partly because she didn’t understand much of it. Bill painted the whole thing as like, a monument of the arts or w/ever im still figuring that one out 

Dipper takes Grunkle Stan’s place as the person they’re sent to visit. He’s been pretending Mabel’s been in various foreign countries for years @ this point. Uses either magic/tech to create voicemails for the family, has her be bubbly but distant, w/ promises to visit that she never keeps, which. you know he feels bad about but he needs to make people think she’s alive

Dipper had a ghost hunting TV show! For like three years, then went off the air bc of low ratings. Apparently real ghosts scare people! And kill them. Who knew. Also everyone thought the special effects were bad. Whoops. Anyway he runs a tourist attraction out of Mabel’s old ‘nature living art lodge’. It makes a good haunted house during high traffic at halloween/Summerween. The entrance to the basement is in his office, which used to be one of Mabel’s art studios. Dipper took all the bill art down because he pays attention to warnings written in blood. 

Im swapping all ages here, so Dipper is good friends with Pacifica and Wendy. Gideon is ... a threat. Lee, Nate and Thompson are still in town. Tambry and Robbie are not. 

Soos is 8, Fiddleford is 13, Stan and Ford are 12. Etc. 

Because of how we’re swapping this, some people’s parents might have to become their children. I’m not a fan of that, but we’ll see. Filbrick Pines was the youngest sibling of Mabel and (Mason) Dipper. He’s not well liked by the family. And he doesn’t like his own family all that much, hence the distance between them. He likes his kids even less, though, so Gravity Falls they go! I hate that guy. 

Ma Pines may or may not come with them? Hmm.

#gfau #gravity falls au #stan #dipper #mabel #ford #wendy c #pacifica #etc #gf #gfcharacters

[lhyuhwa]

hello!! figured i should roll this out while i’m still awake but this is my girl nam yuhwa who just came back fresh from the philippines for real reasons that no one knows of (yet), would looove to get some plots rolling so keep reading and give this post a like and i’ll slide thru

oldest of the pious nams and by extension the older sister of @yuheelh​ by a year and then some, if u wanna know about the family history and how they prayed their way to the top read this

anything but! the filial daughter! hence that good ole black sheep status established 2019 and onwards wootwoot

growing up she’d been the more stubborn/opinionated/sharp/”difficult” child of the two anyways so this was bound to happen at some point in hindsight

wouldn’t say she’s on a moral high horse and doesn’t try to be (because what charity or acts of good will has she done! absolutely none!), but there’s always been something inherently strange about how their parents have always been hellbent on using religion to justify some really bizarre takes/mindsets/behaviors behind closed doors. pretty much an environment where it felt like you were walking on egg shells all the time

add to that the general underlying misogyny and everything uncomfortable that comes with church culture and generally conservative families which can really fuck with your outlook

that being said it’s not a surprise either when they didn’t tolerate her questioning how they ran their household and their devoutness and that ultimately strained their relationship permanently from thereon forth...most def has strayed away from her sister as well

would be sooo nice to say that she’s thick skinned enough to just be like idgaf but the reality is is that kind of rejection and blatant manipulation/gaslighting hurts when it comes from your own parents shitty as they may be so she deals with it her own way by tw: drug abuse self medicating because god knows these people probably don’t believe in proper therapy 

gets busted at the end of her 2nd year of college (thanks sis) and they send her abroad for rehab and thus she lost a year of schooling...technically she’s supposed to be a senior only she’s stuck in her 3rd year instead lol

parents said that she was off on some mission trip instead and she hasn’t bothered to dispute or confirm that big fat lie so take that as you will 

most definitely not living in the family home but in an apartment of her own, only it’s constantly checked in on by her mother with a roommate she most definitely did not pick out by herself but is forced to go down there once a week for dinner and attend church with them 

somehow still spiritual/believes wholeheartedly in god in spite of her parents being the way they are but hey whatever makes u tick right

just wants to graduate and chain smoke like a bitter loner in peace bc she’s tired and resentful of everyone and everything

idk had a bit of camille preaker in mind in terms of ~vibe but maybe not as emotionally vulnerable if that makes sense

some plots

roommate: you’re the goody two shoes scholarship student under the nam family’s foundation and as part of the stipend you get to live in a nice apartment with their druggie older daughter that they need to surveil (: 

childhood friends: general circle of religiously inclined family friends, only it’s very likely that yuhwa’s become incredibly distant over the years 

exes/almosts: the usual slow burn stuff from way back when as appropriate 

people who insist on tagging along with whatever she does for some odd reason

just for fun a thread based off this titktok because its funny 

anything that would work best for our charas! lets brainstorm

#intro

[stunt-lads]

Go off about richie ecks. Tell me about Richie Ecks. Gimme the good food, Ecks! Please, I'm starving. 😢

god 

fucking

richie tozier 

i love richie tozier so much lock, i love him to bits 

but that boy is so fucked up and he needs a hug 

lets operate under the assumption that richie is well loved by his family, like in book canon, he’s loved and appreciated 

but like the thing is...they live in Derry 

and we know how things are amplified in Derry, the good becomes bad, the bad becomes worse

and i imagine even good parents are gonna be distant in Derry. because that’s just how Its influence is. and let’s assume his well meaning and loving family is just a typical all American family, happy and healthy, but...richie’s afraid of going missing and that makes sense right? compared to Bill’s ‘deny and repress’ parents and Bev and Eddie’s ‘love is a means of control’ parents...yea richie has it pretty good. even if his parents maybe forget he exists sometimes. maybe wish he was someone else. maybe indulge him but it always feels superficial. 

and that’s Its fault right? lets say yea, thats the reason they’re distant. 

but like i feel like there’s a bigger reason we saw richie’s main fear as the missing poster. i know he said clowns scared him, and like sure, clowns are terrifying. i hate clowns and maybe richie shares that fear with me. idk

but i do know that when a kid like richie, one who has spent his whole life trying to make jokes, to make friends is afraid of something 

its usually a fear of abandonment 

i think richie is afraid of being abandoned because ‘what if they see the real me?’ and ‘if i don’t make jokes and keep them around are they going to want me to leave?’ seem like fitting fears for someone who makes jokes and can’t be serious for more than 10 seconds

and it also makes sense 

for a closeted kid

and 

like i know this is everywhere but like 

heres the thing, we see richie being locked in a room with clowns but that...that’s not the main focus is it?

the main focus is richie’s own dead body in a puppet form right? sure the clowns are scary but, a missing poster?, a puppet that is decaying and rotting?, being told someone knows his secret?

richie is afraid of abandonment for being gay (or bi/pan, i’m going off my own headcanon here for simplicity’s sake) 

and i think abt that a lot in regards to Ch. 2 (which yes ok ive seen 1 Time and i wanna rectify that as soon as my ps3 is unpacked) 

i imagine as an adult, losing the memories of Derry, forgetting abt the crushes he had on a couple of boys, how much his friends meant to him, probably left a lasting mark on his ability to form meaningful relationships 

but specifically friendships 

he makes a joke and expects a retort that never comes from a person who’s name is on the tip of his tongue but he can’t, no matter how much he wracks his brain, remember

or he’ll turn instinctively to make a joke or receive a high five and catch himself because he doesn’t know why that muscle memory is so fucking intense and people see him and think he’s weird (bc hes not famous yet so he can’t be eccentric) and don’t want anything to do with him

and then when he gets his memories back, after mike calls and he goes on stage and just fucking tanks it, those memories, those fears are resurfacing 

no one is going to want me around if i can’t make myself useful 

and he’s right right? i mean it would be nothing for him to just tank and become a meme before disappearing into obscurity. so when he sees his friends, remembers everything they’ve been through, he’s probably overwhelmed and terrified and he goes back to that easy “make stupid jokes to pretend things are fine” mindset

especially when he sees the men he had a crush on. 

and he

can

do

nothing

about it 

because they’re both married.

imagine that.

it’s no wonder he wants to be the center of attention. it’s no wonder that in 27 years his fear hasn’t changed at all 

because while this time he reads an obituary, it’s still the same isn’t it? 

because maybe it wasn’t him going missing that really scared him. maybe it was facing his own death. his own mortality. being forgotten. 

and he doesn’t want that. not even for others 

like he made a point to visit the synagogue even though he didn’t have to when they were trying to find their tokens. he reminisced about stan. did anyone else? 

no.

not while on their own. not really. not the same way richie did. 

and at the quarry, after It is defeated, they all miss eddie, of course they do, but it’s not the same is it? none of them cry about eddie being gone like richie does.

and sure, unrequited love or whatever could play a factor, but richie probably doesn’t want eddie to be forgotten. imagine how terrifying that would be to deal with, living your own fear of being forgotten and forgetting people important to you and then you lose someone you care about and you wonder ‘is this going to disappear again? am i going to forget again?’ as much as richie wants to believe he wants to i dont think he does want to

i think he wants to remember them. all of them. 

WHICH REALLY leads me to the whole heart of it!! 

richie tozier got the worst deal from the whole fucking thing didn’t he?

bill is married, he has a lovely wife, a nice home, a (somewhat) stable career that he doesn't have to worry about when he returns to his life 

mike gets to leave derry, finally, and travel and get away and not have to be the lighthouse for them all anymore

ben and bev get together, they’re childhood sweethearts, they get to ride off into the sunset together, have children maybe, definitely a dog, they get their happily ever after

and what does richie get?

a dead friend and a dead love interest. 

a tanked comedy career (because lets be real, it would be tough (if not impossible by todays standards) to come back from that).

a fear of forgetting the two most important people to him.

and the ever-looming reality that he’s going to die too one day and disappear into obscurity. 

#ecks barks back #'ecks this is incoherent' yeah thats the ADHD #richie tozier #thelxckblog #ask

[gallonsofvoid]

☕️ The fact that society hates fat chicks.

((Okay, Imma answer this ooc, dunno if I will with the rest (if I get any). If you don’t care, blacklist #longpost. Please also blacklist #Sinna’s upset (because I am) after reading this so you don’t gotta read it again

((TLDR -  I hate anyone who supports that shit, and fuck media for idealizing skinny girl/ripped dude. Support body positivity. Have a body you want but be healthy about it please!

((I absolutely hate fat shaming. I hate how someone could just pick on people who just have some extra weight to them! Like, why!? Why do you enjoy making somebody hate their body? There’s nothing good in that and I hope those kinds of bastards end up fatter than the people they make fun of so they can feel shame. 

((Now, there’s nothing wrong with a skinny boy or gal. You can like skinny people, but there’s still a problem if you make fun of any body type, including skinny people. Some people can’t help it, their genetics won’t allow them to be any different shape. You drive people to unhealthy places for making fun of their bodies; legitimately I have a lot of body confidence issues, one reason being my parents are making fun of my muffin top even though it’s not a lot. Some days I just look down and just start hating myself and have a depression episode. Others are driven to very dark and unhealthy places, and I don’t want to mention them on the off chance of triggering someone, but it is lethal and sometimes irrecoverable. Body shaming is not right in any sense. It does damage psychologically, and it might become physical too 

((Media is no better. I have a lot of issues with media idealizing unhealthy mindsets, but let’s stick one topic today. I hate how much they idealize a “perfect body type”. It’s a shitty practice imo. I personally don’t care about skinny people, but it frustrates me to no end with how it has affected people. Remember how people were so obsessed about thigh gaps for no reason? You know, a genetic trait that can’t be physically affected unless you altered your own DNA before birth, Yeah fuck that! Besides, plenty of people like soft, or buff. Go online and you’ll see people saying “thicc thighs save lives” or complimenting their soft nerd boyfriend, or their tall body builder girlfriend, or their nonbinary partner who has little stretch marks over their body. In all those examples, those people still love their partners because they think it’s cute, hot both in between, or don’t care at all about looks and love their personality. And yet I see media refusing to change and shill out weight loss diets, talk about the new trend in body types, showing skinny models in their fashion mags, etc! Fuck your bikini model eating a tripple bacon burger, Burger King! I have a cute girlfriend with the cutest belly! Fuck you buff dude on a gym advertisement, scrawny boys are valid! (But genuinely, shout out to the healthy buff dude bros who are actually just softies and not testosterone fueled pricks with a fragile ego)

((This is my second time writing this because my first go I was pissed and got repetitive to a barely coherent argument. I genuinely hate the idea of body shaming in all forms. Genuinely, no matter how you look you are beautiful inside and out (Unless your a racist, nazi, or pedophile, then I want you off my blog RIGHT NOW). You do not need to like the idealistic body, you do not need to have the idealistic body. You are normal for liking the chubby girl, scrawny boy, the absolute body builder goliath, or anything else. You are enough and you are valid as you are. Please be healthy about who you are and treat everyone with respect, bc its normal and that's okay and you're e-god damn-nough.

#ooc #ramblings #longpost #sinna's upset #Anonymous

[hqolympia]

chicago’s very own 𝐎𝐋𝐘𝐌𝐏𝐈𝐀 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐕𝐄 has been spotted on madison avenue driving a chevrolet corvette z06 , welcome ! your resemblance to 𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒃𝒂𝒓𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒗𝒊𝒏 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒅 birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝒊𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒗𝒆 , but being 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒆 might help you . i think being a 𝒈𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊 explains that .  3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐧 ,  𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐳𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧 & 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐭 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 . 

hi ,  peachy !  my  name’s  char  &  that  smile  of  yours  is  making  my  heart  melt !  🥺 allow  me  to  introduce  u  to  my  fren  over  here !

full name :  olympia  giselle  hargrove

nickname :  oly ,  pia  (tho, the latter one is reserved for her grandmother)

date of birth :  may  22nd , 1997  (23) 

birth place :  chicago , il

sexual orientation : pansexual

occupation :  competitive diver

labels :  the  crimson  /  the  icarian

𝐢.  𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

one :  picture a little girl with bright blue eyes, pigtails bouncing with every step she takes as a grin makes its way upon her face . she seems happy ---- and in the moment she truly is, despite the fact that the people she needs the most, her parents, are a few thousand miles away and aren’t here to see olympia say her first words or take her first step. she is too young to understand --- honestly, too young to even think about the reasons why they left her.

two :  she is a little bit older now, a full-on eleven years old --- taller, thinner and, most importantly, rowdier. she has quite a few friends, although they all seem to be having picnics with their barbie dolls and sleepovers dedicated to watching princess movies whereas olympia wants to run around and jump all over the place. the girls just don’t seem to match her energy, the boys aren’t exactly welcoming towards her, having this stupid, “ew, but you’re a girl!” mindset. she just wants to find something for herself, something that will keep her interested for longer than three hours ---- that something turned out to be diving.

three :  it’s a few years later, and now she’s standing at the 10m platform. it’s her last dive, and she needs to get it exactly right to win the gold medal. olympia would honestly be lying if she said her legs weren’t shaking because of how nervous she was --- but there’s a camera right in front of her face, therefore she has to keep it together. she turns around, takes one last breath, and then she’s up in the air. fifteen seconds later she’s fully submerged into water ----- and fifteen minutes later she has tears coming out of her eyes. she did it. she’s the world champion now.

four : it’s exactly a year later, and a lot has changed. olympia finds herself in the sunny city of rio de janeiro where she’s come to compete in her first olympic games --- which is exactly what she’s always been meant to do, judging by the name her parents gave her. except this time she’s nervous for an entirely different reason --- she’s now a successful athlete, this season’s leader and the one to watch out for. she’s the reigning world champion, for god’s sake, so she has to prove every single person out there she didn’t win on an accident. a lot of things seem to be going wrong; from oly flubbing her first dive to her coach coming up to her before her final one to say that her parents have showed up at the arena. eventually she finds herself in the same exact position as she did back in Russia ---- her palms are sweating, her legs are shaking, but there’s no turning back. the only way is down, so she has to dive one way or another. a jump, two somersaults, a twist ----- she’s back in the pool, and as she immediately drowns in the roar coming from the audience, tears start coming out of her eyes. she did it again. she’s lived up to her name.

five :  ever since she got back home, her life has completely changed. interview after interview, a campaign after a photoshoot, an event after the other ---- all of that mixed in with her training routine has it ups and downs. her schedule keeps her busy yet there’s something missing. she’s looking everywhere in the hopes of finding that missing piece, and at some point she feels like she’s found it in the face of a stranger who ends up in her bed that night. it brings her a sense of serenity, that lasts a few weeks ---- but olympia knows it’s all too good to be true, and it’s proven to be that way as she stumbles upon a certain page on a random night. it doesn’t seem real at first, but when she spots a tattoo on the girl’s ribcage, a realization hits her ---- she’s plastered all over porn sites, and that particular video featuring her has generated a few million views in a span of two months. she doesn’t remember the night at first due to her drunken state, but she recognizes her bedroom, particularly a personalized louis vuitton gym bag sitting in the corner. details like that help her piece the night together, and from that point on there’s nothing but fear of it all coming out and ruining her career.

𝐢𝐢.  𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀

basically ! this intro is all over the place so here are some bullet points to get u up to speed !

oly was born in chicago but grew up and spent most of her time in toronto with her grandmother, since her parents were setting up their business overseas. they were coming by to visit her maybe once or twice a year, so she isn’t as close with them.

she is a competitive diver (a quite decorated one bc .... why wouldn’t she be 🥺🥺🥺)  representing canada bc of her upbringing despite the fact that she now lives in new york (she moved here in 2017, after the rio olympics)

astrology wise, she is a gemini sun cancer rising .... so sorry to all of u for this

her placements mean that she is quite creative, capricious and may appear manic sometimes --- but really she is just downright STUPID bc she is always trying to get her ass into trouble. like, you can’t even imagine how many times her coach had to drag her out of the mess she got herself into ... 

she is very much about having sympathy for others and helping them and whatnot, but unbeknownst to her, these tendencies can be explained by the “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” mindset. she has to keep her act straight, so getting onto someone’s bad side isn’t in the cards for her --- god knows what kind of shit she may end up in now that she’s a part of ... this world of glamour and fame, u kno?

olympia also really loves to talk, preach, argue --- just do whatever to be heard

in her free time (the time when she doesn’t feel like wreaking havoc tbh) she usually cooks deserts (vegan banana pudding? blackberry sorbet? key lime cheesecake? u want it, u got it!), reads books (painted veil by somerset is her ultimate FAV) and ... drives around town whilst listening to some cheesy music 🥺 

other than that her usual routine consists of training, clubbing and messing shit up due to the chaotic stupid personality !

𝐢𝐢𝐢.  𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

i promise this intro won’t be that long ... after this ! 🤠🤠🤠these are just the few ideas i can get off the top of my head so ... there’s always room for brainstorming ! :-)

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐃 / close friends --- everybody needs some sort of a support system in their life, and oly is no exception to this rule. she’s never really had a big family, therefore she’s always surrounded herself with people in the hopes of filling the empty space in her heart. and honestly, if it wasn’t for these people, she would’ve quit diving right after winning the olympics, moved to the suburbs of toronto and just lived a quiet life --- but the pride for her friends just gives her enough motivation to move further and become better.

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄 / best friend --- we all have that someone who’s impossibly close to us; who we cannot imagine our lives without. the bond is so crucial to them both parties that it feels as if there’s never been a moment without each other. the general public and tabloids, though, feel as if there’s more going on and will not stop nagging them about the details.

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐃 / friends drifted apart / exes --- as weird as it is, oly is very much a yolo person. in addition to that, she has a ton of love and devotion for every single person she’s ever had in her life no matter what happened between them or what caused them to drift apart. though, her ever-changing nature is known to drive people away which, tbh, happens to be a blessing and a curse -- it helps oly sort of “filter” through her circle of friends, but then again, if someone enters her life, they leave and undeniable impact on it. therefore, she misses whoever left her life more than they could ever imagine.

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔 / rival (?) --- olympia isn’t perfect in any way, shape or form. she knows that, but most importantly, the public knows that and will not stop critiquing every little thing that she does. this person, though, is the exact opposite - the public LOVES them to the point where even olympia’s parents would probably say things like “ugh, i wish you could be more like that!”. this makes the relationship between the two quite ... strained. because as much as olympia may love them as a person, there’s always this lingering sense of jealousy that just enables her petty side.

𝐢𝐯. 𝐎𝐎𝐂

ok so ! if you’ve reached this part of my intro ... i cannot thank u enough bc this ?? this is long as HECK but i wanted to actually try and describe the kind of muse i envision in my head. i love u all a latte & if u feel like plotting w/ my dumb kid, leave a like on this post or feel free to mssg me on discord under futurenostalgias#1692 🤠sidenote tho: i’ll probably get to the mssgs in a few hours seeing as i have a few assignments to complete and i’m sorta braindead ... love u , cannot wait to write w/ u ! xoxo ur friendly neighborhood trash char  

#wealthyhq:intro #im so .... slow at this wow ! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠 #here ur standart 'like for a dad joke n plots' tag :-)

[charismastaticarchive]

fang & vanille meta/hc

an analysis on co-dependent relationships & mental illness [ note: i absolutely ship fanille, i ship fanille largely because of this meta and because i stan complicated relationships between women, but it could be triggering for those of us who have experienced toxic relationships with mentally ill people as people who are mentally ill themselves in the past. i do not mean to blame either fang or vanille for their co-dependency also. this is something so engrained in their relationship there is no true party at ‘fault’---and it’s so much more complicated than placing blame, as neither of them wants to blame the other at all, and in fact, blames themself.]

firstly. i want to define a co-dependent relationship. co-dependent relationships are relationships in which one person takes the role of a ‘caretaker’ and the other takes the role of an ‘enabler.’ the caretaker sacrifices their own needs, sense of self, morality, relationships with others, boundaries, and sense of intimacy/vulnerability-----in order to ‘people please’ the enabler. the enabler lets them sacricie and do this, letting the caretaker ride their whole sense of self on the enabler.

but the enabler, in fact, does not have to be some sort of monsterous abuser. sometimes, and definitely in the case of vanille & fang, the enabler simply does not know what to do about their partner’s co-dependent tendencies---and genuinely loves and feels they need the caretaker, despite relying on their affection and ‘caretaking’ for self-worth themself. in this definition of a co-dependent relationship, fang is the ‘caretaker’ and vanille is the ‘enabler.’

while obviously co-dependent relationships at first glance would look like an abuser (the enabler) that cruelly uses the obviously mentally ill dependent party (the caretaker), i believe 13 aims to show a more complicated&loving view on how relationships work. 

fang, is, by her own admission---not a good person, that is willing to let the world burn to keep vanille safe. but vanille herself is not the perfect innocent angel fang sees her as----she lies constantly to others, she runs away from her problems and responsibilities, she lets fang take the blame for ragnorak, she quite literally enables others, such as the 13 family and fang, to see her as weak and innocent through her lies about her own competency. she lets fang become ragnorak despite her not wanting to, and while vanille will never be directly at fault for fang’s actions (you can only control yourself), she refuses to talk to fang about anything (which is part of the reason she ran away) and when she does bring up ragnorak later in the game when fang eventaully finds her---she lets herself be soothed/cared for by fang (literally hugged as fang as she cries) instead of delving into the deeper issues of their co-dependency at play.

regardless of who you think is at fault for this largely unequal relationship, both girls blame themselves for it. fang decides that she is simply not a good person---she dives deeper within the role of caretaker, saying that she will tear down the sky for her, giving up her sense of self as her echalion shows that she really does not want to give up their friends to save vanille. vanille, on the other hand, blames herself so much for their co-dependency (shown in its ultimate stages pre-game by fang becoming ragnorak WITHOUT her, literally turning into a monster with many arms, symbolic of taking/giving), that she runs away from the relationship to what she assumes is her OWN DEATH (as she does not want to fulfill her purpose).

in showing fang’s struggle to be her own person/a good person, and vanille’s suicidality, the game shows us that often times, BOTH an enabler and a caretaker are mentally ill, and sometimes, these two parties are drawn to each other because of their mental illness and inability to take care of themselves on their own merits.

from here, i would like to discuss HOW vanille and fang entered their co-dependency, by discussing the ways people beome co-dependent.

co-dependent people often stem from emotionally immature or even abusive parents that WANT things from their children and make their children ‘serve’ their needs and expectations, and who are punished if they do not meet their lofty and often confusing and not specified or objective/normal expectations.

fang&vanille do not have any parents. its implied, at least by them, that gran pulse was kind of a paradise of love&affection. but it did have a drawback---the church (featured in the novel), which both fang&vanille were shown to be strongly against, probably due to many hunters they knew dying bc of being chosen to be l’cie.

the fal’cie are shown to be false gods---but we can also think of the fal’cie as the parents of humanity, like gods are often seen as fathers/mothers, etc. the fal’cie quite literally ask their ‘children’ to serve them---especially in the case of gran pulse where the fal’cie are worshipped---and the way their children are meant to serve them LITERALLY are not told to them in any way. they have to guess their whole lives why the fal’cie are here, and what the fal’cie want, or they will be ‘punished’ by turning into monsters.

this is a perfect metaphor for emotionally toxic parents.

we especially see, as fang & vanille come together to go AGAINST the church (that the rest of gran pulse does not and looks down at them for), that they are isolated from the rest of gran pulse and pushed into their toxic parent’s reach.

this isolation, when compounded with the fact that fang has ALWAYS cared for vanille as a ‘crybaby’, their own mental illness, and fang&vanille having the ‘toxic’ emotional figures, meant that the co-dependency was always bound to happen, no matter how equally they loved each other. (and despite their co-dependency, it’s clear that they really do love each other, just in a way that is harmful to both of them.)

but their relationship is not just co-dependent. the course of the game shows fang&vanille reuniting and growing as people. the game shows that by fang letting other people into their lives (the 13 family), they can BOTH grow out of the co-dependency. fang can start to forge other relationships and her own sense of self and morals that show that she really IS a good person deep down that cares about people other than vanille. vanille can start forging HONESTY with others, including fang, about how she feels about EVERYTHING, and learn to communicate in healthy ways that don’t involve the enabling and people-pleasing/self-sabotaging behaviors.

fang&vanille show that if there is a real, true love beneath the co-dependency, the relationship can grow and become healthy again with the help of others, and by putting in the work with ur mental illness to develop a support system of family and friends who love you.

you can’t just have one person in your life. you can’t just GIVE to one person, or just TAKE from one person. you need a balance, u need to be ur own person, and u need help from ur friends to get out of the emotionally toxic/suicide inducing mindsets your ‘parents’ gave you.

#fanille #{ ooc: hc } #{ ch: lady luck | fang } #{ ch: sunshine and rainbows | vanille } #{ hc: sunshine and rainbows | vanille } #{ hc: lady luck | fang } #suicide tw

[cilliantm-blog]

                   `   𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒐  !!!  its  𝒔𝒐𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒆  here  (  but  u  can  call  me  soph  ...  we’re  all  friends  here  )  ,  a  not  so  proud  gmt-er  ,  who  uses  she/her  pronouns  .  i'm  so  excited  to  get  to  know  u  all  and  ur  beaut  muses  ,  write  up  some  Chaos  &  just  ...  have  a  whale  of  a  time  .  if  you  feel  like  plotting  up  a  storm  ,  give  this  post  a  like  OR  feel  free  to  hmu  on  discord  @ (๑•́‧̫•̀๑)#5013  (  though  i  admittedly  do  check  it  less  often  bc  ...  i  have  0  attention  span  🤡  )

𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠  here  and  do  i  have  the  tea  for  you  .  𝐂𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐍   is  back  on  campus  ,  which  is  surprising  considering  the  threatening  note  i  left  them  .  yes  ,  i  know  all  about   𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐈𝐍𝐕𝐎𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓  𝐈𝐍  𝐇𝐈𝐒  𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑'𝐒  𝐃𝐑𝐔𝐆  𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  because  of  their   𝐆𝐋𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐘 .  imagine  the  tabloids  and  how  the   𝐊𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐒𝐊𝐈  family  would  feel  for  such  information  to  come  out  ,  not  to  mention  the  reputation  of  𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐌𝐀  because  of  their  actions  .  at  this  rate  ,  he  is  better  off  staying  put  in  𝐒𝐀𝐍  𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐄  ,  𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀  and  living  off  that   𝟔𝟓𝐌  family  net  worth  .  what’s  the  point  in  studying  𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆  with  plans  to  𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓  𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄  𝐉𝐎𝐁𝐒  ,  is  it  worth  it  with  what  i  know  ?  anyways  ,  they  may  want  to  continue  to  be   𝐉𝐎𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐑  &  𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄  because  the  𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐔𝐒  &  𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄  attributes  make  me  want  to  spill  .   

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄  :  cillian  filip  kowalski  .

𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇  :  22nd  march  .

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 / 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒  :  cismale  /  he/him  .

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  bisexual  .

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :  heteroflexible  .

𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐍  :  san  jose  ,  california  .

𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐍  :  polish  ,  irish  .

𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒  :  english  ,  polish  ,  german  .

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

leon  &  antonia  kowalski  had  only  ever  planned  on  having  one  child  whom  they  would  raise  to  take  over  the  legendary  kowalski  &  co  pharmaceutics  .  their  dream  was  founded  in  the  birth  of  their  son  ,  jeffrey  .  what  they  hadn't  bargained  on  was  antonia  falling  pregnant  a  second  time  ,  almost  three  years  later  .  the  arrival  of  their  second  child  was  therefore  met  with  a  sense  of  indifference  .  there  were  no  great  plans  for  cillian  ;  their  hopes  &  dreams  already  instilled  in  their  first  -  born  .  instead  cillian  was  viewed  as  more  of  a  back  -  up  plan  ,  in  case  their  first  trial  run  was  unsuccessful  .

it's  safe  to  say  that  cillian  grew  up  in  his  brother's  shadow  ;  although  he  was  an  intelligent  kid  ,  he  never  quite  had  the  same  edge  as  his  brother  -  an  arguable  child  genius  .  the  attention  and  affection  he  didn't  gain  from  his  parents  ,  however  ,  was  gained  by  his  peers  .  jeffrey  had  grown  up  under  a  strict  ,  watchful  eye  -  whereas  cillian  had  been  able  to  roam  much  more  freely  .  he  had  the  one  skill  that  jeffrey  lacked  -  charisma  .  

in  a  strange  way  ,  as  the  two  grew  ,  cillian  took  on  the  role  as  the  leader  .  in  their  teens  he'd  help  jeffrey  sneak  out  to  parties  ,  or  slip  some  vodka  into  his  drink  while  their  father's  gaze  was  turned  .  

the  older  he  got,  the  more  cillian  had  to  fight  and  claw  his  way  to  find  a  thrill  .  eventually  he  turned  to  drugs  ,  and  of  course  drug  jeffrey  with  him  .  the  difference  ?  cillian  didn't  grow  to  depend  &  could  leave  the  drugs  at  the  party  ,  whereas  his  brother  would  grow  to  become  extremely  reliant  .  fast  forward  to  present  day  ,  and  jeffrey  is  nowhere  to  be  found  -  along  with  a  hearty  portion  of  the  kowalski  family  fund  &  a  deeply  rooted  drug  dependency  that  cillian  feels  largely  responsible  for  .  

𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

upon  first  meeting  ,  people  often  underestimate  cillian's  intelligence  because  he  gives  off  HUGE  dumbass  energy  .  i  suppose  you  could  say  he's  clever  but  with  limited  common  sense  .  which  isn't  helped  by  his  lack  of  filter  -  the  boy  will  say  anything  that  comes  to  mind  without  so  much  as  a  blink  (  much  to  his  parents'  dismay  )  .  

generally  he's  a  pretty  open  book  ,  and  isn't  completely  emotionally  unattached  (  truly  shocking  for  me  i  LOVE  to  damage  my  muses  )  ,  though  he  isn't  the  most  emotionally  sensitive  of  people  ...  he  can  kinda  be  an  ass  without  meaning  to  ?  has  a  big  heart  but  a  tiny  brain  ?

kind  of  a  fuck  boy  because  we  love  that  !  i'm  gonna  be  Real  and  say  he's  probably  never  had  a  serious  partner  ...  but  a  whole  lot  of  messy  '  wHaT  aRe  We  '  situations  *cue  cillian  running  away*

surprisingly  does  actually  care  about  his  studies  ???  it's  probably  not  expected  of  him  but  he  does  actually  want  to  succeed  n  do  well  ,  and  he  100%  has  the  potential  to  ...  but  can  also  get  a  little  distracted  :/  kinda  like  a  lost  lamb  who  needs  to  be  steered  back  onto  track  

kinda  thinks  hes  the  best  but  also  the  worst  :/  like  he's  not  traumatised  by  his  childhood  or  anything  ,  but  KNOWING  your  parents  dont  really  care  for  your  existence  has  GOT  to  fuck  with  your  mind  at  least  a  little  .  he  doesn't  exactly  push  people  away  or  anything  ,  but  he  does  have  a  sort  of  lone  wolf  mindset  .  of  course  he  has  lots  of  '  friends  '  ,  but  those  he  really  considers  close  are  quite  few  .  

i  don't  know  what  else  to  say  rn  but  i'm  sure  stuff  will  come  to  me  during  plotting  .  i'm  not  gonna  list  wanted  connections  because  i  prefer  to  brainstorm  a  lil  first  but  :)  yes  .  plots  pls  .

#holling:intro #i have not written an intro in .... YONKS #but i tried for u all #say well done sophie <3 #also yes i called his brother jeff my mind .... v.v

[littlebabycrybtch]

why do exclusionists still think if ableism is funny enough(TM) its excusable and that this is progressive,,, like yall the reason ppl are pissed about “go outside” is bc its “wait till you get to the real world” repackaged its literally the same fucking thing theyre the same concept and im sorry but Yes if you broadly think that a persons ability to function socially equates to how much value their opinions hold,,,, that is,, extremely fucking ableist,,,, You complain to autistic aspecs like ‘i dont mean it LITERALLY dumbass lol #cringe’ when you know goddamn well what people are actually upset by is. the underlying meaning which is ‘if you voice that you experience life differently than i do im going to assume you act disabled or smth and therefore think you are less worthy of being listened to bc only Normal Cool ppl get to have valuable opinions’ like,,, ffs if i go to a college party right the fuck now or start doing nature hikes with my friends every weekend or get a job in local volunteer work i am definitely as an ace person still going to think that aces need to be accepted and supported as lgbt+ for safety bc most ppls opinions are Formed by social experience and i. obviously already have this even though it has ended up different from yours. ik yall love dehumanizing aces but i am undeniably absolutely a fucking person with human experiences and that should not Be Hard For You To Get. and frankly, existing rather consistently just strengthens what i feel bc people are fucking mean in real life, and this is gonna blow your mind but we exist there too!! like gjjgfdghjfdkg how can ppl unironically still think acey wacies r privileged hettos lmao homophobes dont Side with us they dont Want us its that simple okay, we all live in the same goddamn world that hates anything different, you’re the ones that are tuning Us out. You Are The Ones Ignoring Real Life. like why dont you just start saying “back when I was a boy we didnt have these made up newfangled terms” if you want this generation to become their parents so fuckin quickly for gods sake. stop twisting shit around when you get caught being shitty. ‘go outside’ means ‘you are lying about rape culture and heteronormativity, if i dont see what you live with then you have to be wrong’ and thats inherently a garbage fucking mindset that isnt worthy of defending ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ get better opinions

#ace discourse #aphobia #ableism #cringe culture #long post #like...... god when you have to pretend to be ignorant abt what a groups calling you out for to make it look irrational or w/e #you maybe need to think a little harder on this stance of yours and if youve allowed yourself to question it even once since 2011

[marvmacdonald]

“she's fucking impetuous and daring, a little too bold and way too fucking fearless.”

MARY MACDONALD is 21 years old and works as an JUNIOR AUROR and is loyal to THE OOTP they were an GRYFFINDOR and are a MUGGLEBORN. SHE look like CHRISTIAN SERRATOS. 

CHARACTER PARALLELS: jessica jones ( jessica jones ), leia organa ( star wars ), arya stark ( asoiaf ), johanna mason ( the hunger games ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), rosa diaz ( b99 ), ellie ( the last of us ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), kat edison ( the bold type ), nina zenik ( six of crows ) AESTHETIC: red lipstick stains on drained cups of tea, leather jackets, cigarette bums crushed under doc martens, sitting down in the shower and letting time pass by, always wearing your gold cross necklace, messy ponytails, beer burps, laughter that’s filled with desperation, jean dungarees, screaming in your pillow, mud stained clothes, denim on denim on denim. LINKS: stats. pinboard. character tag. playlist.

history

mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.

her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb, the former of which was, of course, accurate ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.

of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.

which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in. magic was deemed evil by the church they attended. everything about this was supposed to be wrong, but her parents shifted their views because their love for their daughter was greater than their desire to cling to all the rules the church laid down for them, this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.

i mean --- her parents accepted her, they were capable of openmindedness despite being traditional people in most other situations. other people can too.

hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).

being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her head straight.

this entire situation is up for change and stuff when/if we get a mulciber! 

graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a full ass day. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.

it’s only recently that mary graduated from her training and became a junior auror. it’s ... infuriating, at times, but also amazing. she hates the ministry and most of the people in it, feels paranoid in those walls, but knows that there are good people, too. people who want to better that place, like she does.

kaz brekker voice: brick by brick, i will destroy you.

also --- mary is ... very quite involved in the war. her time is divided between the order and work, and her dog. she’s determined to get this war to end. she doesn’t even care if she destroys herself in the process --- what does her life mean, if she could help save numerous people?

so right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.

personality & tidbits.

mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.

still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.

is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.

obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.

though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal

can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique

fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!

very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.

mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but she’s ruthless — in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things — she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means.

this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.

like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win. tbh i’m sure she has a growing interest rn. stop it mary :(

and she’s also like — mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.

emotionally driven mess of a being

is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.

is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR

has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas

a proud scot. a proud latina. proud proud proud. such a fucking lionness.

mary was a beater during her time at hogwarts and was Highly competitive. threw herself into the sport tbh after the mulciber incident. she still thinks football is superior, but you know, it isnt in the air.

she’s pan and out of the closet --- something that did put a strain on her relationship with her family. ( the fact that they could accept her magic but not her sexuality ... baffles mary, but bigots have never been very reasonable. ) she’s not very open about it at home, but otherwise ... she’s out here lovin everyone.

plot ideas!

roomies —– so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!

hook ups/fwb’s/etc —– mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc!

party pals —- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!

in the dragon’s den together —- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with

mudbloods club —- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies

general friendship ideas —- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.

etc —- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP

#maraudrs:intro

[fatui-harbingers]

So, I read through this post and it made some really good points! You should definitely go read it before reading any further so this makes sense.

People really will tell you that you can be whatever you want but then try to talk you out of (and even try to talk you into something else) whatever it is you said you want to do. I've noticed it in my own family (which isn't surprising) a lot.

Many people in my family would tell me that I should be a lawyer bc of the amount of arguing I've always done (and still do), partly bc I'm good at it and pretty good at trying to win you over but also, they were trying to be insulting. They didn't like me arguing (now, most times its bc I'm right). Don't get me wrong, I would be okay at it but there's so much more to being a lawyer than arguments and there's so much you have to learn! This was just the beginning of ’you can be whatever you want to be BUT mostly what I think you should be’ arguments.

Now, my mom is probably the only person in my family (well, was) that was fully supportive of what you actually wanted to do and didn't try to convince you to do something else. My mom was so supportive, she said she’d support me if I were a porn star (true unconditional love there, y'all)!

I've wanted to be a million things as a grew up and now I'm settled on my dream job (but I do have a plan B bc my dream job is pretty unrealistic). It's been fun to look back on everything I've wanted to be that's far more practical than acting, only to choose one of the least practical jobs to pursue! I've wanted to be a surgeon, a forensic scientist, an ob-gyn, a performer, a fashion designer, a human rights lawyer, a cosmetologist and so on.

When I wanted to be a forensic scientist, I can remember talking about me having a family when I'm older (though I was like 11 so we shouldn't be talking about that anyway) and my great grandmother told me I would have to stop working once I have children. I do remember saying there was no way I would work so hard for my degrees in science just to stop working all bc I had a baby. Nope! She's also the one woman in our family telling me, my sister and my female cousin we will all change our minds and want to have children. Of course, her brothers (my male cousins) don't hear any of this ’you will get married and have children’ talk.

My grandmother (mom's side) wants us to be doctors bc ’they make a lot of money’. I'm always sure to remind her that while money is important now, it won't be my main reason for choosing a job. Especially one you have to spend so much time preparing for! But, she often says ”doctors are stupid. They just read a few books and make money off making prescriptions”... Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.

My aunt doesn't support her daughter's dream of becoming a rapper. She said she won't support her unless she's going to be a Christian rapper. She and her husband want their daughter to be a doctor, lawyer or a nurse. She's also been told by her dad that ’her husband will rule her household’. Fun stuff.

I've told my cousin that even though I'm not fond of the nature of most rap music, I support her and will be there for her. That's what you do when you love someone, after all.

My dad thinks it's unrealistic to pursue acting when I could do something else I would enjoy that he considers more practical. Even though I have explained that acting is something you must focus on completely, as much as anything you really want to do for your whole life. He doesn't understand how I could possibly want to try while the odds are against me. I've explained that it's better to try than to not try at all.

The rest of my family thinks I can somehow become a successful actress in my small, poor state of Alabama. Do you think ”hey, that's where all those actors come from!” when you hear Alabama? No, you think of California or NYC and even places like Georgia and Florida. But mostly California and NYC.

I have to move to make myself known. That's okay with me but they don't seem to like it. Do I care? No, I'm moving as soon as I can afford to leave.

While this may look like a rant about my personal life, it still has much to do with the ’you aren't doing what I think you should be doing to be happy and successful’ mindset so many people have.

I'm a feminist. I believe in choice more than anything.

You want to be a CEO? Be a CEO! I'm sure you'll be great as long as you're passionate about it and give it your all. Wanna be a homemaker? Be a homemaker! I'm sure you'll be great!

Wanna be a musician? I'm with you all the way! Wanna be a veterinarian? I don't know how you can do it but I'm supportive! You do you!

Seriously, just live your life your way (as long as you aren't hurting anyone). Don't live according to how your parents want you to live. You will most likely outlive them and be so unhappy bc you did what THEY wanted and not what you wanted. Of course, if you have to live their way until you can get away, I understand. I have to do that too.

It sucks but I should be able to get away soon and I hope you can too! My aunt and uncle tell my cousin they won't pay for any lessons she wants to take (that relate to skills she needs for her rap career) bc they don't agree with it. They say they will pay for her to go to med school or law school.

My mom and dad didn't save up tuition money for me and my sister so we will have to take on student loans or hopefully get grants but that's looking less and less likely. My dad can't control me and my sister that way (and even though he is pretty controlling, he probably wouldn't go that far) so we got lucky there. My cousin obviously isn't that lucky.

So, I get having to live a certain way before you're able to leave. Just try your best to live your way in whatever way you can!

This turned into a much longer post than I meant for it to (what's new?) so sorry for that. I dunno, it is my blog but I had feel bad for some reason. Blogging is usually used to just put your unfiltered thoughts into the world so I guess I don't really have anything to be sorry for. Female habit (sorry reflex) I learned from my mom.

Anyways, that post made good points about the ’be what you want to be’ talk and these were my thoughts, experiences, and opinions related to the matter. Hope it wasn't a bother!

#long post #text post #sorta personal? #be what you want to be #my opinions #I wanna say sorry again but I'm not gonna #I have got to unlearn this sorry reflex!

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Hi! How do you think Luke's personality would be if he survived, and how would it change during the years? I'm not talking about the campers' reactions,but how Luke would think and act.

hello hello!

oh man, that’s an interesting question and i LOVE IT

so by the wording of your question, it sounds like if the titan war still happened, but luke somehow survived after getting rid of kronos, how he might change in the yrs following

and so, hcs!! in bullet-form!! as always under a cut

so he luke miraculously survives hitting his achilles’ heel

and let’s pretend the gods are a sliver decent and actually fulfill percy’s wish/reward, which now includes luke since he’s alive, and did help save the gods in the end

so he’s not exactly punished, but he is being monitored heavily, almost like he’s on parole or smth

i know it’s hard to believe they’d completely let him off, even in this au, so i’ll throw in a magical ankle bracelet that monitors him–he can’t take it off (without the gods being alerted), or go outside of nyc’s five boroughs, which includes into any magical realms (like the underworld, since there’s an entrance in central park)

if he heads into areas that have high demigod activity/magical auras, with chb as the exception, it alerts whoever now has the task of monitoring him to keep a closer eye on him for that time he’s there

suspicious activity is flagged, and they can recall him to mt olympus and detain him at any time if they think that he’s becoming a danger to the gods again

speaking of chb, i don’t think he’d be able to stay there after the titan war, too many painful memories–too many ppl who hate him, or don’t trust him, etc.

it’s hard to say what his and annabeth’s relationship would be. as i’ve said in a previous ask, i think luke was asking if annabeth still considered him family, and she does. but i think luke would be too guilt-ridden to interact with her at first

not to mention that percy is v protective, and while they may have had a tender moment abt not letting all that happen again, i think percy would have a hard time trusting him

thalia’s now with the hunters, and has clearly shown what she thinks of luke’s betrayal, so that’s no good either

i think grover would be more open to luke, but luke would probably avoid him like he avoid annabeth bc of the guilt. and grover’s a busy satyr now, so that doesn’t help

so basically anyone he considered close to him in childhood is on shaky ground and he’s not sure what to do abt that, bc demigods are only taught abt fighting and battle, instead of that and emotional and psychological health wheeeeeee

since he can’t leave nyc, he finds like a hostel or smth to stay in while he figures shit out and tries to get back on his feet

he’s suffering p heavily from ptsd and still has terrible nightmares abt kronos and being possessed by kronos, which doesn’t help

he can’t hold a steady job bc he only knows how to fight and has no social skills whatsoever, so he becomes some low-level conman to make some income

he still hates his father, so it’s hard to acknowledge that his father’s skills are helping hi survive right now, as much as he’d like to believe that he’s surviving all on his own

at some point, he tries to con one of the demigods who’ve made it without chb (a demigod whose parent is a minor god). thankfully, they’re nice abt it and introduce him to a demigod underworld, so to speak

i wouldn’t say it’s as sinister as our criminal underworld–it’s really more of a society of demigods who were forgotten (unclaimed kids) or never made it to camp (children of minor gods), but found a way to survive with little to no training from camp, despite the monsters and technology

luke is suddently introduced to a whole new world, and that’s when his life really starts moving forward again

these demigods are angry and bitter, yeah, but they take that and turn it into motivation to live and thrive–basically living bc of spite. fuck the gods, fuck my parents, i’ll show them i don’t need them or chb

(like rick has this weird thing abt writing kids who say that, but then talk abt how much they want their godly parent’s approval. or to prove that they’re worth of their godly parent’s attention. and like i get why, but that’s not true for everyone??? having been adopted, i come from a perspective of, yeah, i am a little curious abt who my biological parents are, but i’m not dying to reunite with them or anything bc i don’t need to??? i have everything i need right here–a loving mom, and awesome friends, who i would consider family. even if i did want to know who they were, their approval of who i am now doesn’t matter to me. i don’t need to prove anything to them, nor should i need to for their attention. like that’s shitty to expect that from your child, and a horribly mindset to instill in a child)

and so i imagine it’s the same for a lot of demigods, too /tangent

anyway, so i’d like to think that this society is pretty structured–it’s a mish-mash of kids of major gods who were never claimed and of minor gods. some do resort to criminal activity, others work minimum wage jobs, and still others who are making higher than minimum wage, with some even making six figures ya know. basically they still function within the larger mortal society, but they’re also part of this hidden demigod society, you feel?

but they always take in demigods who could use some help out in the real world, regardless of who their parents are and whether or not they’ve been claimed/lived at chb

hephaestus kids have built a closed-circuit network that makes tech safer for them to use, and it also helps them communicate with each other as well as any mortal they make friends with, etc.

and their secret society is hidden within a company (kinda like how the three roman emperors hid themselves within a company, except without the evil part), and it’s v socialist–so they do what they can to help those who don’t have anything, until they can get back on their feet, and then put back into the society and help others

so luke is introduced to this hidden world within the mortal one of new york

i’d like to think he’s p instantly recognizable (to most, not all), but they don’t hold any grudges or bitterness like those at chb to bc they understand that he was fighting for them, even if he was going abt it the wrong way

some put him on a pedestal (he’s the face of our hidden society or he could take up the company or smth), but another kid of hermes comes along and shows him the ropes, not expecting anything from him

they get him therapy to work on his anger issues as well as his ptsd, and he slowly learns social skills

there are two large apt buildings that the company owns that only house demigods (but not all the demigods who are part of this society), and they find him a small one bed/one bath apartment to live in

as he gets better, he stops resorting to criminal activity and finds a steady job working at a tech company, bc he doesn’t have to interact with ppl like in retail, and when he does, its coworkers who think the same as he does

i also like to think he starts mend those relationships he lost with annabeth and grover. thalia’s a little harder to reach, but once he starts communicating with annabeth more, annabeth tells thalia abt his progress, and thalia sneaks away to visit him on occasion

it’s rough at first, as it always is, bc he did a lot of bad things and hurt a lot of ppl

but he apologizes to all of them–annabeth, grover, thalia, and even percy

they start to hang out occasionally, and luke almost become a mentor to percy again

(we’re kinda ignoring hoo rn for luke’s mental health, but percy most definitely talks to luke abt how he can see where luke was coming from during the second titan war after that whole prophecy nightmare)

eventually, they become friends, even family

he’s happy to hear that the camp is expanding, allowing minor demigods; the hermes cabin is far less crowded

but luke still holds a lot of anger and bitterness. even living within this secret society, it’s yet another symptom of the gods’ lack of caring (like the crowded hermes cabin)

even with percy’s request and the expanding camp, luke still hears of demigods joining their society, which is a little disheartening if only bc it still represents the gods’ lack of caring

with the help of therapy, tho, he’s learning to channel is anger into smth productive

instead of trying to raise evil entities, he throws himself into the business that their society is hidden in. he wants to know all the inner workings of both the demigod and mortal side bc he wants to help as many demigods he can

bc in the end, he’s still a scared, lost little nine year old boy who just wants someone to be there for other demigods since no one was there for him

oh and speaking of, he finds the courage to visit him mom again! annabeth goes with him, since he’s still working through all that shit with his therapist (and lbr, that’s smth that someone might never work through, just learn to cope with)

i wouldn’t say he visits her often, but he spends some of his income and hires a caregiver to help around the house, but also to take care of may. since the prophecy has been fulfilled, her visions aren’t as bad, and she doesn’t have so many spells, but her mind is still quite lost bc the curse is still there

eventually, luke works his way up the ranks of the company bc he sees the good that this society is doing, and wants to be a part of that. he can finally help these demigods that doesn’t involve destroying the world

he starts to visit camp a little, but usually only talks with chiron abt the changes that they could make to the camp to better help the kids there. the whole place, tho, still holds a lot of painful memories that luke would just rather forget. so he doesn’t go often

it’s a long, long process and luke stays in therapy indefinitely, but the work he’s doing with the company, and the demigods he interacts with on a daily basis help him a lot

he slowly heals, and mends fences, as well as makes new friends and bonds

he never truly lets go of his anger and bitterness, and for the most part he just kinda ignores the gods. remembering what he did during the titan war still haunts him, but he uses those memories as a reminder and promises to never do anything like that again

and this time he keeps his promise!

*sniffles* look at my bby boy growing up and healing. 

despite liking white collar!luke (which i could see this so easily sprouting from your initial question), i wanted to take this in a different route and really delve into his healing process bc it’s like a salve to my soul. it’s so easy to ignore emotional and psychological health, but for anyone it’s so, so important to address those issues and work through them ya know?

like i advocate for mental health and stability! as well as emotional healing, esp for men bc it breaks down that toxic masculinity. and toxic masculinity often does lead to expressions of anger and violence in men in our society

i could probably say more, but i’ll leave it there for now. it feels like a good stopping point. hmu if you’d like to hear more specifics abt anything within this au!! i’d be happy to write more abt this au :D

thanks for sending this in, anon!!

#oh god for shame! i do not even know your name #notesofananonymousnight #asked and answered #luke castellan #pjo hcs #pjo au